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sobdasha · 3 years

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i’ve been rereading a lot of my favorite stuff for months now

since I'm lacking in spoons for library trips

And when I was cottoning on to the fact that I have, in fact, been autistic all along, one of the things I realized is that the connecting thread between the kinds of stories and kinds of characters that I like is in fact that they display autistic or autistic-adjacent traits. I had realized this, come up with a lot of examples. I knew this.

Haha yeah as I'm actually rereading the things the evidence is damning that I did not come even close to understanding the full depth of it.

~ Taucris Ithesta is Autistic and Other Adjacent Things re: Leckie's Novels ~

Actually let's start with The Raven Tower because you can't actually argue with me about autistic Siat.

Siat actively avoids eye contact, is """shy""", speaks too softly, has an excellent grasp of humor, likes rocks as a special interest, likes to collect rocks, likes to sort rocks, likes to line up rocks, has one (1) bff to conduct social interactions for her, notices patterns, is good at learning, and is considered disabled by society's standards.

Ughhhhh all that talk about rocks makes me sad all over again that I pitched my rock collection when I moved out (I saved the best fossils, though).

(ETA: I have since bought more rocks because polished gemstones with carvings on them make for great stims, I am very pleased with me)

Okay so now that that's been established, let's talk about Strength and Patience of the Hill.

Because this rock gets me. Originally I figured it was probably, y'know, like with Ancillary Justice Leckie's given me an ace-aro main character and I can identify with that as an ace-aro. But unlike Breq, who very much loves people and wants to take care of them and found family etc, Strength and Patience of the Hill doesn't give much of a shit about people. With some exceptions of people that are it's people, how dare you mess with them, Strength and Patience of the Hill will kick your ass. Although even then I'm not sure Strength and Patience is all that great at taking care of people. Also Strength and Patience of the Hill is very much absorbed in its own selfishness, very much consumed with his own internal world, and I am also a jerk like that so it was very relatable.

(Yes I am using multiple pronouns because one of my many favorite parts of the book signing was watching everyone scramble over pronouns for a rock because "It never came up so I never figured it out" and I'm pretty sure Strength and Patience doesn't even use pronouns because why would you need a gendered pronoun to refer to yourself??? You don't even need a name to refer to yourself, actually I'm pretty sure Strength and Patience doesn't actually consider itself to have a name.)

So it made sense that this rock just really gets me. I know it's bad when the majority of representation for ace-aro characters is stereotypical robots or rocks or aliens (oooh or sentient space rocks wait wAIT now that I've said that I've just realized the Myriad is the definition of a Crystal Gem, pffft) or whatever but honestly I don't care because I just really identify with the robots??? So I really liked it, YMMV.

(It's probably also bad if the trend for autistically-coded characters is just stereotypical robots or rocks or aliens or whatever too but like honestly a big autistic #mood is feeling like you are a robot or an alien or whatever so maybe that's why I'm not offended???)

My point being that Strength and Patience of the Hill displays a lot of autistic traits and is therefore very relatable, in this Ted Talk I will.

Strength and Patience of the Hill processes things slowly. She will come up with the perfect retort and tell you 5 years later with absolutely no context.

It loves daydreaming, staring at things, noticing patterns, and enjoying quiet and solitude. It loves thinking about why things are the way they are. Look I have fantasized about what if I could exist as just a pair of eyeballs and a mind floating around in space, observing things, thinking things, and not having to actually interact with the world, and I'm pretty sure this rock is living that life. (Until y'know it gets told life doesn't work like that.)

Despite his slow processing speed, and taking a while to learn language, Strength and Patience of the Hill is good at learning things, and I feel like it's the kind of sort-of-sideways, context-based accumulation of knowledge that I learn through as well.

Strength and Patience of the Hill has one (1) friend, and through the Myriad it benefits from the fact that the Myriad has an actual social circle, without having to put forth any effort of maintaining friends on its own, which is 100% the way to do it.

Strength and Patience of the Hill tends to attract the other "quirky" kids--that is, my impression is that the people who become his priests tend to be those people who look at the world a little differently, those people on the fringes. Trans people, autistic people, people with other disabilities.

Strength and Patience of the Hill trying to explain the state of affairs in Vastai to Eolo: "Okay so my first memory I can recall is…" No, okay, no, I know, it's just literally how the narrative has to be told, I'm not criticizing, but that doesn't make it any less reminiscent of "autistic person trying to explain a simple thing but starts in with 10 pages of context first to ensure the over-explanation makes sense" (haha that's why I consistently got stuck training endless new hires, I'm literally so bad at it that I'm the best in the department and I hate life).

Difficulty understanding other's feelings/points of view/circumstances (I know it's because he's a rock and a god but that doesn't make it any less relatable), hmmm what else…

Oh right, a typical interaction with Strength and Patience of the Hill:

Person: (gives offering) Strength and Patience: (offering is accepted because the transaction literally occurred, no need to respond) Person: "(asks petition)" Strength and Patience: ... Strength and Patience: wait Strength and Patience: what Strength and Patience: wait was I supposed to do something else Strength and Patience: did you ask something of me? Strength and Patience: I don't understand what you asked????? Strength and Patience: it's been an entire year now it's too awkward Strength and Patience: i'm sure it's. Fine. Strength and Patience: It's fine. (rinse and repeat)

Like I said, this rock gets me.

(Haha I was reading through my notes from the book signing and I found "Strength + Patience doesn't give a shit about balance, Strength + Patience is just selfish, which it manifests as apathy, which is why this rock gets me. All of my best interpersonal traits also spring from not giving a fuck and waiting ppl to go away faster lol" and why is that, oh because ~I'm~ ~autistic~ pfffft)

I started this post a while ago and this was as far as I got and I don't remember if I had more??? Time to talk about Taucris probably!!!

(I'm skipping Ancillary Justice etc for now because I do want to make a post about that but like there's just. So much. In those books. It's masking all the way down. So it can be its own post. One day.)

Because I waited so long I forgot what I was going to write so I'll just grab the book and flip through and comment as I see things.

To start off with: Taucris and adulthood. I've seen other people pick up primarily on the gender aspect of it--that Taucris waited until almost 25 to take her adult name because she she never figured out what her gender was (non- uhhhhhh what's the word for binary when it's three and not two? Non-tri-something Taucris in a society with 3 options but all 3 options are gendered? I'll go with that.) What really resonated for me was that Taucris waited until almost 25 to take her adult name because she never felt like an adult. And I get that ~everyone feels that way~ but I feel like it's Different for Taucris in the same way it's Different for me. Anyway I feel like no matter which aspect you choose, it's probably an autistic vibe.

Also Taucris seems to have a bit of a flat affect? She seems very serious (both in body language and in speech), and kind of intense sometimes when she talks, and Ingray notes how Taucris usually doesn't smile (she smiles with Ingray because Ingray makes her comfortable) and has always been """shy""".

Also Taucris...talks strangely? I am not sure exactly how to explain it. It's not written badly or anything, it's...you know how sometimes you suddenly sit back and look at dialogue and go no one speaks like this and it throws you out of the story because you dropped your suspension of disbelief? Taucris kind of gives me that feeling, and only Taucris. Almost like her speech is a little bit stilted? Awkward? She's very serious and matter of fact and says things like "You've always been so kind to me" with a straight face. But it doesn't feel like a """bad writing""" (quotation marks for subjectivity) thing. But I notice it every time I read her dialogue… I think it's just that Taucris is autistic and awkward and that's how she speaks. Also I think she's adorable.

Police work is Taucris' special interest. So much so that that's the entire reason she became an adult, so she could engage in her special interest better. She's ~weird~ for her single-minded interest and her interest in a job below her ~status~ and she doesn't care, she set her heart on this anyway, volunteering and interning so on.

Oh that was something else I was going to talk about--Taucris mentions feeling like she doesn't have her shit together, not like Ingray (who also doesn't feel she has her shit together. Kind of like "no one really feels like an adult). But Taucris seems quite calm and capable in Planetary Security. I don't know if this is just masking, but...I really hope that she does feel that way in her job. That because it's her special interest, that helps balance out the stress of being alive and simultaneously employed full-time. That because she's been volunteering and interning here so long, she's been familiar with the office and it wasn't a stressful transition. That she acts confident because she feels competent and respected. Taucris may look calm and cool and collected on the outside and be screaming on the inside but I hope she actually feels pretty good on the inside too.

I would also like to say that I like Taucris' nother. Despite what Danach implies, I get the picture from Taucris that e is supportive of Taucris' personality and interests even when e doesn't get it. E indulged her interest in police work, e didn't understand why Taucris wasn't taking an adult name but tried to be patient about it...so I assume that also means that e was understanding of all of Taucris quirks and stims and particularities. E's been a good support system while Taucris' peers have not.

(Except for Ingray, Taucris' one (1) friend.)

I like Taucris' relationship with Deputy Chief Veret too--the way Taucris quietly manages breakfast so e doesn't have to think about it or be put out (this is The Love Language to me, not being inconvenienced, and I feel that this is part of my personality because my personality is autistic, so). I don't know why specifically Taucris does this, but all the reasons I could come up with feel very wholesome. Taucris respects Veret as her boss and as a person. Taucris is empathetic and thoughtful (she doesn't like Danach but she tries to consider and understand where he's coming from; Taucris isn't Hatli but she considers Veret's fasting etc to be valid rather than a choice of superstition). Taucris' situation is different but she knows that it doesn't feel good to be treated as weird, to be sneered at because you don't act the way people expect you to. Taucris, being autistic, maybe has a lot of experience with "perfectly good foods" she won't eat. Taucris strikes me as someone who observes quietly, and considers carefully, and maybe takes a long time to make up her mind but when she moves it's deliberately and not carelessly. Which is, to me, a masking trait.

In the quantum version of this post I was going to write everything so polished and lay out my points so nicely but clearly that didn't happen and I don't know where to end this and I'm sure I didn't even explain things that well so I'll just say, I feel it was very autistic of Taucris in the last chapter to just be like "well IDK what you want from me and rather than expending massive effort trying to suss it out and guessing wrong I'll just be direct: I know you can't talk about what happened so I won't ask you about what happened unless you want me to ask you about what happened in which case you should say so and I will ask but I think maybe you just need to watch a movie with me instead."

#sobdasha fic adjacent #al provenance #the raven tower #HAPPY AUTISM MONTH #look i actually did a thing while it was still april #all my faves are autistic #also is this not showing up in the tags as punishment for my sins or like can I not see it because dumblr

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chadgamer · 4 years

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the dialogue around detrans people online right now is so fucking awful lmao.... seen threads full of people talking about how they literally do not give a fuck about the struggles of detrans people whatsoever bc we’re “too small of a group” or are “cis so it doesn’t matter”. it’s just like..... so fucked because we literally have all the exact same struggles as trans people? 100% of the same shit? the only line between the groups is one largely of labelling and choices we make w our bodies (which isn’t entirely true, not every trans person medically transitions or stays on hormones and not every detrans person medically detransitions or goes off hormones)

almost every detrans person i know and have talked to struggles with transphobia from strangers on a daily basis. a lot of us are coming out from having been stealth which i have to say has felt exactly the same as coming out the first time. we need the same kind of healthcare that any trans person might need and struggle to receive it for the same reasons. we need the same kind of legal assistance that any trans person might need and often have to go through the same lengthy headache process of getting all our identification changed. we’re at the same risk of violence and harassment for the ways that we look and move through the world. what is the legitimate empathetic reasoning for not giving a fuck about us? and no, “you did this to yourself so you deserve it” is not a legitimate empathetic reason. imo everyone who struggles with gender and presentation socially and/or medically and/or legally is in the exact same boat and we should all be supporting eachother. its kind of hard dealing with knowing that there are tons of people out there actively declaring that they don’t give a shit about me or anyone like me. it makes it difficult feeling comfortable or safe or cared about anywhere

#detrans #detransition

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the-real-peter-parker · 4 years

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PSA

I talk about Harry Potter and JKR being a terf a lot here because HP was a huge part of my childhood and I hate to see that the author erases an entire group of people and claims that they don’t face discrimination just by their existence. As she continues to say dumb shit and actors in the HP/FB series take sides, I’ll update the list.

She claims that she’s allowed to speak on trans issues (as per her most recent terf tweet, and don’t give attention to her essay) despite not allowing actual trans people, as in the people who face trans issues, a voice in her mere vicinity.

An article for why those tweets are transphobic

Andrew James Carter breaks down many of JKR’s transphobic statements in a Twitter thread with sources that she does not provide (and the people who helped in are either trans or specialise in gender issues)

Here are links to make you smile:

Summary of all HP actors’ support (?) as of 08 June 2020

Daniel Radcliffe reached out to The Trevor Project because he doesn’t have social media

Eddie Redmayne’s statement

Emma Watson’s statement which I’ve been waiting to add because she’s been actively pro-LGBT, anti-racist, and feminist for many years

Bonnie Wright’s tweet

Things to love about HP that have nothing to do with JKR

As a plus: Hozier telling a terf “is your back aching from bending to punch so fucking low”

Kurtis Conner making fun of JKR on his Twitter (it’s still in his recents and he makes fun of terfs in the replies)

Stephen King voicing his support after RTing one of JKR’s tweets (she unfollows him and deletes her tweet supporting him)

#harry potter #fuck jk rowling #peter parker #trans peter parker #marvel #psa

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mxadrian779 · 4 years

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RANT:

Setting: on a thread about masking and COVID.

Person: i forgot my mask recently but noted more than half in the store didn’t have one on so i skipped it.

Me: The stupidity of others doesn't give you permission to flout health protocol.

Them: get over it

Person: Adrian's going to have a tough life, especially when the next Flu season hits and the media says, "mAsK uP!"

Me: Except that I know the difference between the flu and the coronavirus.

Person: H1N1 was a pandemic too(Swine flu)... nobody masked up then.

Me: Comparing the coronavirus to the flu is pretty ignorant. They're nothing alike. The flu doesn't negatively impact your entire body, it's preventable and understood, and it didn't affect every single continent in a matter of weeks.COVID impacts your neurological system. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You know, the neurological system--your brain activity, your ability to walk, your five senses, etc? All the big important shit?

Person: poor snowflake

Me: Nah, I just give a shit about my and my community's health.

Sorry for being a good Christian.

Person: Reminder that "non binary" folks aren't actual trans people. Feeling comfy in your body and choosing what gender to be in the morning should NEVER be taken seriously and considered the same as actual medical conditions.

Person: you sound like a complete moron! I have never seen, heard, etc Covid effecting the neurological system! The lungs yes brain no. If you think a fucking mask is gonna protect you n u believe the flu is actually preventable by getting a flu shot you’re incredibly ignorant n clueless! The flu shot only protects you from a certain flu virus they predict will hit which 9/10 times they’re incredibly wrong or the flu shot makes ppl sick longer! Don’t believe everything you read ffs

good christian? You’re judgmental and rude but ok

Me: One of the symptoms is a lack of taste and smell. One of the effects is a stroke. That's the neurological system.

Rude? People are calling me names and being jerks and I'M the rude one?

Me: *provides nine separate articles documenting COVID effects*

Person (every three articles posted): Blah blah blah - Just stay in the house - you'll be fine little sheep.

keep drinking the koolaid

just more fear mongering.

yea yea yea - nobody's buying it

Me: I wish I could help you get over your allergy to fact and human decency *shrug emoji*

#rant #blah #covid #frustrated #anti-maskers

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deciduess · 5 years

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I think this is called a Peak Trans™ moment?

❌ LeSbOpHoBeS dO nOT iNtErAcT ❌

If you have a problem with this post, please see my bio before privately messaging me or reblogging. Thanks.

🌸

I need to vent about something.

A couple of weeks ago, a leftist Instagram account I followed posted these photos:

As a lesbian, I disagree with this post. The account in question encourages discourse, so I decided to comment on it. I’ll be referring to the account as “OP”.

I typed my original comment into my Notes app before sending it, which is the only reason I can share it with you (OP blocked me). It read as follows:

As a lesbian, I don’t think I’d date a trans person because I want a woman who can understand the experience of being socialized as female. I have a lot of trauma with regards to how I was born and socialized. Only other AFAB women will be able to relate to that— even if they haven’t been assaulted (or otherwise experienced what I have). Plus, as a cis person, there’s no way for me to understand the trans experience, so I think there’d be a huge rift between a trans girlfriend and I. I don’t think I’d be able to soothe her or relate to her deeply if she told me about trauma she has as a result of being trans in this society. Of course, trans people don’t usually say that they’ll ONLY date other trans people, but I think they have every right to have that preference.

Unfortunately, I cannot screenshot the rest of the thread, as I’m blocked. The thread isn’t visible to unblocked accounts either.

I will do my best to summarize the rest of the conversation.

Now, both of the people who responded to me were incredibly rude. They insulted me quite a few times, but I can’t remember exactly how they phrased everything, so I’ll just be summarizing their arguments-- minus the attitude. It’s important to note their abusive language, however, because it’s part of the reason this conversation affected me so negatively.

OP: You sound like a TERF. Also, I’ve never heard of a trans person who will only date other trans people. Sounds like a straw man just to excuse your transphobia. And how can you say that trans women aren’t socialized as women?

Me: No, trans women aren’t socialized as female. That’s what makes them trans as opposed to cis, right? They were assigned and socialized as male.

People with vaginas have to deal with much higher rates of sexual harassment and assault even in childhood. And we have to see ourselves assaulted again and again and again when we read the news, watch TV, or read books/comics. I’ve been called weak, unintelligent, and overall inferior all my life due to how I was born. Trans men can relate to this, but trans women cannot. All of this starts early— even before we’re born (I mean, look at gender reveal parties: “guns or glitter”).

OP: So what you’re saying is: trans women are men. Trans people are assaulted too. You’re making a blanket statement about all trans women [when you say they can’t understand female oppression/socialization]. What if a trans woman transitioned at a very young age?

*I decided to ignore OP’s question because... it’s fucking stupid lmfao. You can’t transition in the womb, and you certainly couldn’t consent to that as a baby.

Me: What?? I didn’t say that. You’re putting words into my mouth. Trans women are women, but they have different experiences than cis women.

I know that trans people are assaulted at higher rates than cis people, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that people with vaginas make up the vast majority of victims.

OP: That’s exactly what you’re saying. So, trans women have male privilege, huh? Just admit you’re transphobic and go. Now, answer the FUCKING question.

*I know I said I wasn’t going to convey the tone of these messages, but… wow. Males have told me to “answer the FUCKING question” several times in my life, so that got to me. Males literally can’t act like human beings. The fact that OP is just like any other male no matter how “they” identify is so evident here.

**Now, a trans “woman” starts attacking me. “She” replied to me three times, I think. But I don’t remember how the replies fit into the conversation, and “she” kept repeating “herself”. So, I’m just going to summarize all of that in this one comment.

Trans “Woman”: I’ve been female-socialized and harassed ever since I transitioned at age 16. Also, I’ve been called weak and unintelligent all my life, but thanks for assuming otherwise.

*At this point, I’m getting irritated by these two constantly misconstruing what I’m saying and denying my experiences. So, unfortunately, I use a passive-aggressive emoji. I also use two question marks instead of one. I’m not proud of that, but keep in mind, these two had been complete asshats to me this entire time.

I was so tired at this point. I was sharing my trauma (which isn’t easy for me to talk about,,,,), and I was being so nice. I was trying so hard to center them even though I was talking about my trauma. I didn’t understand why they weren’t reciprocating my energy.

Me: @trans”woman” I’ve been called ‘weak’ and ‘unintelligent’ because I have a vagina. It’s a little different. 🙃

@OP Wait, do you guys think that sex-based oppression doesn’t exist? Like, do you think trans men have the same privilege as cis men??

*OP doesn’t respond for a while. The trans “woman” never responds, either. Finally, OP replies…

OP: You know what? I think I’m just going to block you.

Anddd, that’s why I can’t include screenshots of the interaction on this post. I was kind of relieved that I didn’t have to deal with two MALES shitting on me anymore, though. 🙃🙃🙃

🌸

I grew up in a conservative household, but I’ve been a leftist ever since I was a late-teen. Since getting closer to adulthood, I’ve leaned far left on most issues before even reading other leftists’ opinions on the matters. Over the years, though, I’ve been a cetrist on a few topics.

Usually, this is because I don’t have all the information I need. So, when I notice that I disagree with the majority of leftists on something, I read more about it, and I read their opinions. I almost always end up agreeing with the leftist majority opinion on any given topic.

There are only two major issues I haven’t agreed with most leftists on yet: gun rights and trans rights. Leftists support the Second Amendment... I see both sides. I’m beginning to lean pro-Second Amendment, but that has happened before, so it could happen again. I’m not going to elaborate on this because this post isn’t about that.

When it comes to trans rights, I have NEVER understood the popular leftist opinion. I have been trying for years to understand trans people better. But in the end, my opinion has just been, “Well, I don’t have to understand your identity in order to support it and use your pronouns. Your identity isn’t hurting anybody, and no one should hurt you over your identity.” I still agree with that sentiment. I will still use trans people’s pronouns. I still want them to be safe.

But I’m done accommodating them at my expense. And if you’re a shithead to me, I don’t see a problem with putting your pronouns in quotes and referring to you as “males” instead of “AMABs” in a tumblr post that you’ll never see lmfao. It’s been so liberating to disrespect you (on a post you’ll never see) half as much as you disrespected me (to my face).

TRA’s have excluded AFAB women and trivialized their problems so much. Every single post about AFAB women is derailed (”whuttabout trans women???” “don’t you mean people with vaginas?????”). TRA’s suggest that there are no female-only experiences and sex-based oppression does not exist.

I’ve had many concerns with the Trans Rights Movement for years. But I’ve tried to understand. I wanted to actively support trans people. I didn’t want to merely use their preferred pronouns and tolerate them. I’ve followed TRA’s and read what they have to say...

But the Trans Rights Movement just,,, doesn’t,,,, make,,,,,, sense. This conversation sent me over the edge. I don’t care about understanding trans people anymore. If I can’t understand them in half a decade, I don’t think I ever will. Clearly, to these people, including trans “women” means excluding cis women. You’re trans-exclusionary if you talk about cis women’s experiences or issues. You’re trans-exclusionary if you say that trans “women” and cis women are different (unless it’s to say that trans “women” are superior/prettier or more oppressed).

🌸

Now that I don’t care about trans feelings anymore, I’m going to address the conversation from two weeks ago without sugar-coating anything.

Trans “women” will never have the same experiences as cis women.

I will not date a trans “woman” because I NEED someone who can understand the very specific trauma and physical pain of a female assault victim. I NEED my partner to be able to relate to being constantly berated and belittled in all forms of media— even when I try to relax or distract myself, I am constantly reminded that males hate me and think I’m a worthless incubator/dishwasher.

Two weeks ago, I was not concerned enough about the physical differences between trans “women” and cis women. But now, I think it’s a good time to discuss that, too.

It’s perfectly okay to not want to date a trans person because of their genitals.

Even after a trans “woman” has SRS, “her vagina” is NOT a female vagina. It is not self-cleaning. It has no muscles. It smells PUTRID. Neovaginas are repulsive, and they do NOT look like actual vaginas. A neovagina is the physical manifestation of a male’s soul: it’s a disgusting, smelly, functionless hole that is trying to emulate the natural divinity of a woman.

🌸

Now, I’d like to specifically address those two males:

Thank you guys for demonstrating my point that males can NEVER understand the female experience. :)

Thanks for proving that I’ll never be able to open up to males about my SA trauma. Males will always say that they have it worse and/or pretend that what happened to you has NOTHING to do with the fact that you have a vagina. If you’re vulnerable with them, they will stomp all over you. Males only care about themselves, even if they “identify” as women. :)

I would never be able to be in a relationship with someone that constantly belittles my feelings like this.

Also, to the trans “woman” who alleges “she’s” been ~“socialized as a woman”~ since the age of sixteen: no the fuck you haven’t. If you’d been socialized as female, you would be exceedingly nice to me, even if I spoke to YOU in the same way YOU spoke to ME. You would be super apologetic for stating your feelings and standing up for yourself. No matter how illogical you found my arguments, you’d still TRY to understand me because that’s the compassionate thing to do. If you were socialized as female, you’d put OTHERS’ feelings above your own.

But you haven’t been socialized as female. You’re just like every other MALE. You SPEAK OVER a female victim of sexual assault and pretend that YOU’RE more of an expert on HER OWN experiences than SHE is.

You tell women they’re not allowed to have boundaries or preferences. You have absolutely no compassion or humanity. You’re a MALE, AND you’re MALE-SOCIALIZED, and it fucking shows. You’re a disgusting, ignorant, unsympathetic brat that always needs to be coddled— just like every other male.

Also, yes, OP, all males have male privilege. Including trans “women.”

🌸

Two weeks ago, I had deluded myself into saying, “trans women are women.”

But the truth is, trans “women” are not women.

I’m attracted to women. I will never be attracted to a trans “woman.” I’m not sorry. It’s okay if other lesbians are attracted to trans “women,” but my lesbian identity does not include trans “women”. I don’t care if that’s politically incorrect. That’s MY sexuality.

I cannot change my sexuality, and I don’t want to. I love cis women. No male will ever be as strong, intelligent, poignant, or divine as a cis woman. A woman is born with all of these traits.

🌸

I’m certainly transphobic now-- that is quite evident. And I was also transphobic two weeks ago, even though I was trying to unlearn my transphobia. But nothing that I said to this person was transphobic. It’s literally fine to not want to date a trans person. A lesbian is not oppressing you by not wanting to date you lmfao. I openly admit that I am transphobic, but this is not the reason. I will not try to understand why my sexuality is “wrong.”

I’ve stayed out of TERF circles for years, even though TERF posts can be so informative, relatable, and comforting. Thanks to this experience, I’m gonna go ahead and follow whoever tf I want. I'm grateful that this interaction has caused me to start prioritizing my feelings and my rights.

Honestly, trans “women” deserve to be excluded. Males deserve to be excluded. Idgaf about how that makes you feel anymore. You don’t give a shit about how I feel. And you don’t feel guilty when you exclude real women.

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lunarbranded · 5 years

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🍵+ gatekeeping

Send 🍵for the mun’s salt! || Meme

gate·keep·ing: noun - the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.Tumblr definition: when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who has access to something .

Boy, you know. I’ve been mulling over how I was gonna work with this ask and how to do this post for a while. Actually had the words a few times that I wanted to use but I waited and thought on it. As it turns out, there’s a lot I want to touch upon with my salt in this post. Most of it is general toxic behavior from the RPC community itself and some of fandom but, for the most part, it’s Tumblr bullshit to the extreme.

If you don’t want to see strong af opinions, please keep scrolling. The salt will be under the cut and I understand that most of what I’ll be saying in this post will not be popular opinions.

Gatekeeping Is A Form of Bullying

Ever heard some dudebro go ‘I bet she hasn’t even read the comics’ about a girl wearing a Marvel shirt? What about someone going ‘If you don’t read the books, you’re not a real fan’ when someone’s in line at the theater? Yeah, those are examples of gatekeeping. A couple of the most common ones actually.

As for Tumblr RPC gatekeeping, it’s a bit more like this:

Omg, you can’t write that because it doesn’t fit into what I believe is the only lore that ever exists

wtf why are you claiming that character is gay/trans/bi/ect? they’re not or it would be mentioned in canon

how dare you want representation for your gender identity/race/ect., that’s not okay because it doesn’t adhere to CANON

you can’t ship that because it’s morally wrong and i don’t like it (which sounds a lot like old church people bitching about anything at all really)

if you don’t have the right aesthetic then i won’t follow/interact with you at all

These are just a few examples but most of them are pretty common. And, you know, that’s sad as fuck, to be honest. So many people I’ve met on this side claim to have been bullied but they’re usually the same people who turn around and do this shit to others. It’s unreal to me that they don’t recognize their own behavior. What’s worse is that it can’t be pointed out or people want to use whatever buzzword they can to tell you to fuck off.

If you try to help correct someone, suddenly you’re every -phobic on the planet and you conveniently managed to set their grandmother on fire. The dramatic overreactions of some people have a price and they don’t realize that the emotional response is sometimes not the correct one.

Just because someone is doing something you don’t like doesn’t mean that it deserves a negative action on your part.

‘That person upset me so I’m gonna post a callout/vague post about them!’ Why do you guys think that literally fucking everything needs a reaction? It doesn’t. You don’t have to react to everything that happens. Sometimes things warrant a simple ‘oh that’s fucked up’ and then you move on with your fucking day.

Say you have thirty water bottles. Someone steals one and drinks out of it or whatever but you still have twenty-nine water bottles - why the fuck are you going to be angry all day about that one water bottle? What’s the point when you have twenty-nine other water bottles and you can forget about or throw away the one that was ruined/taken?

You see, that reaction is how you guys act about any one instance that goes wrong on Tumblr except you’re pissed off for a week and you want to ruin someone’s fucking life over a post/thread that you don’t like. Or, in extreme cases, you open blogs to run your mouth at these people. It takes more effort to act like a dick toward someone than it does to just keep fucking scrolling and it’s astounding how ready people are here to wallow in negativity/toxicity.

Puritan Ship/Roleplay Policing

So I mentioned it before, but there’s this super popular idea on Tumblr that if you don’t abide by a certain unspoken ship/roleplay guideline, people will tear you apart over it. But guess what, guys, it’s fucking bullshit.

Since when were people not allowed to make their own opinions on what they did or didn’t ship?

When did it start that people were considered trash for shipping something?

Who the hell made half of you the owners of the RPC so you think you can control what everyone does on their blogs?

You see, this is the same attitude that I see all the time in churches. Oh they’ll tell you to your face that you’re welcome to do as you like and come looking however you want but the second you actually fucking do it, you’re ignored and treated like a social pariah. All this because people love to go around spreading rumors and talking shit about one another all over a fucking hobby.

It’s actually kind of insane when you think about it. Like, you’re arguing over what two people are doing when they’re throwing internet Barbies at one another and you’re stomping across the playground to scream at them because you don’t like what they’re doing when it has nothing to fucking do with you. Remember what we called that in elementary and high school? Oh yeah, there’s a word for it: BULLYING. And now, it’s evolved into gatekeeping.

This attitude is literally as bad as someone going ‘you can’t sit with us’ just because you don’t like what they’re doing on their blog.

Now, I called this section ‘puritan’ for a reason - “practicing or affecting strict religious or moral behavior.” Does that sound familiar? Because it should. Tumblr wants to call everything wrong and, from what I’ve seen, the hivemind doesn’t want people making their own opinions. Oh and don’t forget, if you don’t already know something then tough fucking luck because it’s ‘not our job to teach you.’ Thanks for the reminder, Susan, but we all know that you’re going to resort to calling people toxic abusers just because they weren’t given the chance to learn something like you were. Because that’s a fucking great way to help people to understand things from your point of view.

Look. What I’m saying is that trying to force everyone into your moral alignment isn’t okay. Some people will write murder and abusive relationships and not romanticize them just fine. The same goes for incest, rape, dysphoria, and a great number of other things. Believe it or not, some RPers actually take the time to look this shit up so they can make sure that they’re doing it fucking right and avoiding romanticization. You know, what you people want them to do but yell at them when you see it trigger tagged without bothering to take a look at the entire thread in question. Goes right back to that knee jerk reaction people like to rely on - not everything is the end of the world.

Callout/Cancelled Culture

This one’s going to be fun.

So we all know that people love their callouts but we also know that people just fucking love cancelling people. Guess what though - you cannot cancel a fucking human being because they’re not a television show. Shocker right? I know.

Now, I’ll admit that there’s some callout worthy topics but there’s some callouts that are so goddamn stupid that I just can’t take either party seriously. Now Tumblr loves dividing people, especially in the RPC. Don’t fucking tell me that cliques aren’t a thing in the RPC because ‘RPing in your bubbble’ is the same as having a clique. It’s the same concept hidden behind another name, don’t try to tell me otherwise.

And yes, sometimes people want to run around and start ‘clique wars’ like it’s fucking high school all over again. Sorry, but no one has time for that shit. Do your replies and keep your nose out of where it doesn’t belong, Barbara. But, of course, people have trouble with this concept and get into fights. It’s natural that no two people are going to agree on the same goddamn thing. It would be ridiculous to expect this, especially on this website, but just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that they’re cancelled.

What you think is problematic and what someone else thinks is problematic are likely two different things. And sure, you’ll have people who agree with you and you’ll want them on your side but that doesn’t help because now you’ve created that divide. So things fester and get worse because you want to use your mental illness as an excuse (a popular choice from what I’ve seen) as to why you can’t communicate with someone. Next thing you know, there’s a huge callout against someone and that person didn’t expect it at all.

Knee jerk reactions. Fight gets worse. Divide gets bigger. Toxicity festers.

Well now, there’s this new thing in the RPC where you can get a PSD template and fake fucking screenshots. Sure, it’s for musings and character profiles for things like Tinder, Facebook, ect. Just fun little things for you to throw your characters into and stuff like that. But there’s always that 1% who decide to use it so they can make it look like someone’s said something when they haven’t. So, when that person tries to defend themselves with a full-screen shot of their own (whole desktop or mobile version), things get worse until there’s a giant blowout.

Once the dust settles you get this nice little ‘if you follow x, y, z then you can just block me bye’ behavior popping up. Well, that’s just childish. Unless something happened that was almost a ‘they found out where i live and they’re sending me glass filled cookies in the mail’ situation, then I have no reason to bother with that shit in your rules page. No one is obligated to tell you who they associate with just because you had a disagreement with them. However, if that person chooses to take your side, that’s up to them.

I’m sure damn near everyone has had a similar situation to this happen to them on Tumblr before and, if it hasn’t, were you the one making the call out? If you were, was it worth it? Did it make you feel better? Sure, it might have in the moment but if you’re having that much of an issue actually communicating with others then you should take a step back and work on yourself before you involve other people. It’s like that one saying I keep seeing running around ‘if bad things always happen to you, you should make sure that you’re not the one causing it.’

Now, that’s not to say that I’m trying to gaslight anyone, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve looked back and realized that my own knee jerk reactions have caused a lot of turmoil that I could have avoided had I stopped and thought on it. I’ll admit that because guess fucking what, humans aren’t perfect.

That’s the biggest issue on Tumblr. Half of you expect people to come on here and be perfect from the get go but humans make fucking mistakes and we learn from them. Do we not? How many of you can say that you were perfectly rational and amazing 15 year olds? Absolutely no one because teenagers have a lot of stress and expectations thrown on them while they’re going through a rough growth phase at that time. Things are unpredictable for them and they have school, teachers, friends, and parents throwing all of this shit onto them and then they come on here and have full-grown fucking adults slamming all this shit into their faces. It’s fucking ridiculous. And that’s another goddamn topic holy shit. The way some adults on here act is absolutely barbaric.

Sharing IP Addresses Out of Revenge/Anger

Oh this is something I’ve hated since I found out that Statcounter was a thing. Yes, I run it on my own blog but you’ll never see me sharing IP addresses on the dash. I’ll just quietly IP block you and go about my day, idgaf.

So there’s this huge trend and I’ve seen this on my own dash before (it was fucking disgusting, the response was atrocious on that person’s behalf, and I’ve since hardblocked) and it’s something I’ll hardblock over in a heartbeat.

Now, for those who don’t know, Statcounter has a little piece of code that you can put into your blog theme and it’ll track the IP addresses of people who visit your blog. For me, I use it because I’ve had two stalkers in the past and yes, I keep screenshots of their visits for my own records. Fuck them. First one started the trigger for me and the second one recently exacerbated it. Anyway, if the person doesn’t have something on their browser to block it, Statcounter will pick up on their visit, what links they look at, how long they’ve been looking, their ISP, general location (never their precise home location, just the ISP’s area), browser info, and screen resolution. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I recall for now.

Having it so you can protect yourself from stalkers is one thing but having it and using it to throw someone’s IP out there is another. When I say that people weaponize Statcounter, I’m not joking. People will go on there after getting what they believe is anon hate and see who the move recent /ask visitor was and start blasting their IP all over the place.

For one thing - people can send asks via the dash. They don’t have to click onto your page at all so, there’s a HUGE risk of throwing out an innocent person’s IP address.

Say someone does this - mistakenly throws out an innocent person’s IP after receiving anon hate. That person is likely going to have a panic attack. Not only have you shared their state and general location but you’ve blamed them for something they didn’t do. Throwing that IP out there, to any fucking extent can create a witch hunt for anyone who has Statcounter to try to figure out who the owner of that IP is.

This is related to gatekeeping because you’re essentially blacklisting anyone who lives in that state/general area from the RPC all because you saw they were in the /ask page. How fucked up is that? It ties right back to the knee jerk response and it shows that people given even a modicum of power abuse it at the first chance. This isn’t even addressing how vicious some people answer anons.

Sure, posting an IP address on it’s own isn’t illegal but when you tack a name onto it, then it is because you’re essentially creating a threat toward that person.

Point of this section - don’t fucking share people’s goddamn IP addresses on the dash, it just makes you a douchebag. I lose all respect for anyone doing this when I find them - fuck you for doing that.

Activism Forced into Roleplay

I used to be in the Marvel RPC. Key here: used to be. Part of the issue that lead to me leaving was how much people slammed IRL issues into RP. Yes, I’m well aware that Marvel comics has a long and deep history of taking on IRL issues and the comics themselves are quite political.

However my issue comes when this is happening outside of the Marvel community.

I’ve seen people trying to force IRL events down people’s throats. ‘You shouldn’t be happy - x, y, and z are happening right now and don’t you dare tell me to be quiet about it!’ Good way to get yourself blocked. People RP as a hobby and, for some, as a form of escape. Immersing into a character to find out what makes them tick is a form of method acting, so it could be said that we’re method writing out characters to an extent. So shoving IRL issues at some RPers can cause them to lose muse or abandon blogs entirely.

Of course, in the same breath, I’ve seen people told that they can’t RP something because they’ve never experienced it, people think they’re romanticizing it, or some other bullshit Tumblr reason. Look, I’ve experienced rape, self harm, suicidal thoughts, CSA (incestuous and non-incestuous), as well as mental and physical abuse. Don’t you dare assume that I cannot write about these experiences in an accurate way and don’t you fucking dare tell me that I can’t write it because I’ll tell you first off where you can shove your bullshit. The fact that people have to disclose that they’ve been through these things so people will stay off their ass on Tumblr RPs is fucking ridiculous too.

You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot write on my blog when I trigger tag the living shit out of everything to make sure that I’m protecting as many people as I can from seeing it. Do not try this shit with me. Censoring someone because it doesn’t adhere to your moral code is just as bad as banning books, televisions shows, and/or movies.

Censoring something doesn’t solve the problem and boy fucking howdy does Tumblr have an issue with that. Censorship is another form of gatekeeping, by the way! You might not like it but people don’t go to jail for writing about incest or rape, just fucking saying. Oh but there have been crime authors sent to prison, I was suspended from school for writing about murder, but nothing about rape and incest.

Sure, it may raise some eyebrows and people have to actually use gasp! postblock, tumblr savior, and any other method of tag blocking so they don’t see it but uh… that’s called being responsible for your content consumption.

Tumblr Is Not The Real World

Alright. So I’m gonna close this with a good reminder that I think some people on Tumblr could use.

Tumblr is not the end-all be-all of the world.

Yes, you can make some good friends here and that’s fine but when you stay on here too long, the toxicity can start to change how you view the world around you. No, not every man that walks by you is going to rape you. No, not every woman that you see is going to be okay with you treating her the way you do female ocs and canons on here (actually, I’ve met some women who were proud they could make a full-grown man cry with the right look so).

You have to think about how Tumblr makes you view others as well. All this ‘you messed up once so you’re cancelled’ behavior is a social media phenomenon that doesn’t carry on into real life. It just doesn’t. Sure, you can block someone you know IRL but that doesn’t stop them from talking to you if they were a Facebook friend you went to school with. If they still live nearby you, they’ll either talk to you or about you. What are you going to do? Take the Tumblr route and fucking scream at them like an incoherent banshee? No, you’ll suck it the fuck up and you’ll act like a decent person, don’t fucking lie.

You need to understand that Tumblr is it’s own entity, it’s own little sphere on the internet and, by no means, is it appropriate to carry on in your daily life the way some of you do on here. And if you do, please take a moment to stop and look at yourself.

Self improvement starts when you want to improve but gatekeeping, bullying, and acting like a total barbarian to people you don’t know isn’t okay. This goes for the ones you do know too. I’m not saying that triggers aren’t important in the real world but you need to understand that forcing the social climate to change will only make people dislike you. When they don’t want to change, they’re not going to and some will refuse to change to spite you.

Forcing anything won’t help.

Gatekeeping won’t help.

Censorship has never helped.

People don’t respond to being told what to do, feel, or think. Personally, I’d tell someone to fuck off if they tried doing it to me. So why do you think you can do it to others? Ever heard of ‘treat others how you want to be treated?’ Just be fucking decent and stop acting like other people are your goddamn doormat, jfc.

#chainedloyalty #;;bahamut's voice: ooc #;;salt #;;unpopular opinion #rape mention tw #rape tw #csa mention tw #csa tw #self harm mention tw #self harm tw #suicide mention tw #suicide tw #//this is a long post #//there's a lot of salt #//proceed at your own risk #//there's been two warnings - in post and in tags #//don't @ me - talk to me if you want to know more

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intrepidescapist · 6 years

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I don’t like talking about my home life in detail to people I don’t know well, much less post about it online, but I could use some help.

My name is Nico and I’m, mentally ill, non-binary, queer, and currently stuck in an abusive household with an alcoholic father that I’ve been trying to get out of for years, so far with no success. When I was eighteen I had a plan to leave home without saying anything, but I was too worried for my younger sister. Now that she’s an adult and has a support system of friends and family that are aware of the situation I’m a little more comfortable with trying to get out of my house.

My father is a very religious, homophobic, alcoholic, and I’ve been taking care of him emotionally and cleaning up after his drunken messes since I was twelve. I’m twenty two now. He uses me as an emotional sponge, and if I say anything to the contrary or even suggest he isn’t an excellent parent he either reacts with explosive anger, or starts drinking more aggressively, sometimes both. Over the course of a decade I’ve tried to get him to stop drinking by confronting him, staging family interventions, making him see a therapist, going to AA meetings –everything short of rehab, but it’s the same song and dance every time. He acts apologetic while making excuses for himself and then temporarily stops drinking. The longest he’s been sober in ten years is about six months.

Last summer he had a hemorrhagic stroke that came seemingly out of nowhere, but was caused by his excessive drinking. Miraculously he survived with almost no issues, but while I hoped that this would send the message that he needs to stop drinking, it didn’t. He’s drunk right now as I’m writing this. If anything this proves that unless he gets into rehab, which is extremely unlikely knowing him, he will continue to drink himself to death and I’ll be the one left to clean up after him.

I’ve had to deal with horrible suicidal depression and anxiety as a result with living with this man. He is impossible to reason with. He’s prone to angry outbursts and refuses to believe that he’s had any affect on my mental state. I once confided in him that I was suicidal years ago, and the only thing he said to me was that if I killed myself he would have to do the same, disregarding the fact that would leave my younger sister parentless. I stayed alive out of fear of what would happen to her and familial obligation. I spent years hanging by a thread. Since I was twelve I’ve had to literally clean his piss and shit off the floor and walls of the house, and escort his obscenely drunken self while he was sometimes naked, usually in his underwear, back to his room so no one would see. There was a summer when I was a teenager, and every day I’d come home from work at five PM and he’d already be shitfaced. I’ve had to confiscate his car keys so he wouldn’t drive drunk in the middle of the night. He has picked me up and driven me places while completely drunk, and I couldn’t say anything because I was afraid of what would happen. Before I could drive there were occasions where I had to hold onto the steering wheel to keep the car steady while he drove. I’ve had to lock my door at night when he drinks because he’s drunkenly mistaken my bed for a toilet and tried to piss in it, or in other areas of my room. I just had to clean his piss off the floor last week.

My father likes to go on rants about how homosexuality is going against god, how trans people are severely mentally ill and freaks of nature. I’ve been subjected to hours long rants about how being gay is one of the worst possible things that could happen, that it isn’t natural, that the only way a person could be gay is if they’re traumatized and even then they are disgusting and shouldn’t be that way. Coming out would be dangerous, and were I not legally an adult I’m certain if he found out I would’ve been sent to conversion camp where I probably would’ve killed myself.

I was in college, but the combination of going to school and taking care of my drunken father made me have several mental breakdowns and made my depression worse. It was a struggle to even get to a therapist because my father didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. It’s impossible for me to complete school while I’m living with him. My grades suffered, my mental health hit an all time low, I was actively self harming and doing everything but kill myself. stopped eating and lost lots of weight in short periods of time, I cut myself, I cried myself to sleep, I isolated myself. Some semesters I would be able to keep my grades up but most of the time I inevitably would hit a point where I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed. My father, again, was completely oblivious about what his habits were doing to me, and repeatedly yelled at me for my bad grades and drunkenly threatened to disown me more than once. I hit a standstill in my therapy sessions. I was unable to make any further progress because my depression is now entirely environmental. It is literally impossible for me to make any kind of progress in my life unless I get away from him. My sister is an adult now, and if things go south when I’m gone she’ll be able to stay with a close family friend, or with our aunt who is completely accepting of the LGBT community and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.

My father is entirely emotionally reliant on me and uses me as his emotional dumpster. He’s a high functioning alcoholic so he holds a job and no one there suspects what he’s actually like. I don’t think any of his coworkers would believe me if I told them what I had to deal with unless they saw it himself. He doesn’t go out with friends, and he refuses to see therapists because he is in complete denial, so I’m the one he unloads all of his issues onto. If I mention that I’m even a little unhappy he immediately takes offense to it, and the conversation will turn into me reassuring him that he’s a great parent, and end with him getting drunk. Even though I am an adult if I told him I wanted to move out he would do everything he could to make sure I don’t. Moving out shouldn’t be an issue at all, but it is going to cause an enormous rift in my family, and I have no idea how he will react. He may get violent, he may threaten me, the situation is too unpredictable.

I’ve worked myself into a bind. I took a semester off to take care of my father after he had the stroke, and after that semester the Excelsior scholarship went into place. My father told me to take it since it lets me get a free ride and we can’t afford school without it. I had time to look it over, but my sister already accepted it. After reading the fine print I noticed that if I take the scholarship then I’m legally obligated to live in my state for four years after finishing school. I can’t live here and stay with my father, who doesn’t want me to move out for another four years. I don’t know what I’d do to myself if I had to, so I dropped out. I haven’t told him because it would cause a shitshow the likes of which has never been seen, but I can only keep that under wraps for so long. I’m supposed to “graduate” next year, and being on his insurance requires me to show proof that I’m a full time student. I’ll be found out and suffer the consequences no matter what.

Despite all of this I’m currently dating an amazing woman two states away. I plan on moving in with her by early September at the latest. I’m working part time whenever I can while keeping up the ruse that I’m still in school and trying to save as much money as I can to get out of here. When I finally tell my father that I’m moving out and there’s nothing he can do, again, I have no idea how he’ll react. It might be violent, he may send people after me to try and bring me back home, it will definitely involve drinking, but despite that I need to get out of here. I expect the family that are trying to help my father to try and make me stay and change my mind despite the fact they’re generally well intentioned. When I move out I’m expecting zero support from my family. I have friends that will help me out as well, but it’s going to be a very difficult year for me, and I don’t know what my father or my family will do after I move. I don’t expect them to leave me alone even after I leave.

In addition to probably needing to cover a small U haul van, I’m also trying to change my name once I leave, mostly because it’s the name I’m most comfortable with, and also because I don’t want my family to be able to find me once I’m out of state. Any donations would help me and it’ll all be going into my savings until it’s time for me to leave, which will probably be in 2-4 months with how things are going at home. Thank you for reading, and if you can’t or don’t want to donate then please boost this post. I’m accepting donations via paypal but I also do tarot readings on Etsy if you’re more comfortable with that!

paypal.me/DEV7777 https://www.etsy.com/shop/BenthicOracle

#signal boost #boost #donation #donation post #alcohlism #abuse #suicidal ideation

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ommadusk · 6 years

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So, the @TSVoices (Transsexual Voices Matter) Twitter and Facebook came and went and is back again. There’s plenty I could say about the group’s initial statement. The claim to be diagnosed with ‘rare acute forms of gender dysphoria’ is just silly because whatever gender dysphoria is, the justification for treatment is that the condition supposedly is chronic, and anyway what we know about male transsexualism points again to this being a chronic condition. There’s a lot of whining about how the identity of ‘transsexual’ is being swept aside by ‘transgender’, which is a fair argument and one I’ve used myself, but as usual it’s what the statement manages NOT to say that gives the game away, and add to that the continual claim to ‘woman’ throughout the statement lets us all see exactly what this is:

It remains to be seen whether this group stand for anything different. They could have specifically identified and condemned the use of ‘TERF’ and the attack on female homosexuality; if they’re that concerned about respecting female culture, spaces and the lives of women, I’d look for an explicit distancing from the use of ‘lesbian’, ‘mother’ and ‘woman’. Unfortunately many of ‘the good trans’ still can’t bring themselves to this more evolved point.

Remember TSRainCrew? Tried to sell themselves as the ‘good trans’ and made similar arguments about cultural distinction. Yet in reality their spokespeople ended up being just as big dicks as the gendersists they criticised.

If they’re going to be different, they actually have to be different. Else this is just another attempt to claim a higher spot on the validity hierarchy.

– my comment earlier (16 August) on the resulting @TSVoices Mumsnet thread

Of course there are many other things their self-serving statement omitted, like how for example homosexual and gender non-conforming minors are being instrumentalised by transgender activists in order to validate their own claim to identity, but I digress. What is properly amazing is how quickly this group reverted to classic male transgender activist behaviour. NO SURPRISES THERE.

‘Choose your enemies’

‘Radfems verbal abuse of their allies too’

Unsolicited DMs

It’s pointless my analysing these further as, of course, we have all seen this sort of shit before: if they’re going to be different they actually have got to be different. And here they have shown so clearly how they really are no different at all, and the whole thing was an exercise in claiming validity: how can you credibly complain about your own erasure when you and other members of your group so freely steal women’s language, culture and lives? Idiots.

@AngryBird ‘identifies as a mother’

The problem here of course is that the people who are speaking for this group simply do not listen to what women have to say, instead they brush off their concerns with a casual mansplain and lap up the validation cookies thrown them by all the women out there who really do want a world where they and transsexuals can stand together to face a common problem, or even just be able to get on with their own lives and battles in their own way, without interference from the Manosphere.

Finally, despite our opposition to those transgender activists which have started this ‘rewriting definitions and rules’ campaign and ‘twitter sex wars’ we remain strong allies of both reasonable women and reasonable and genuinely suffering transsexuals. We all are humans.

— Transsexual Voices Matter (@tsvoices) August 16, 2018

Yes, transsexual voices matter, but again we are in the situation where these voices are elevated over and above the voices of women. No change there, then. In case I’m not making myself absolutely crystal clear, what I am saying to @TSVoices is, hear this: in the words of Pink Floyd ‘you’re just the same as all the rest’. And yes, that feeling of discomfort you are having right now is déjà vu.

So, where do we go from here? Well, I get to say exactly the same damn thing I have been saying for years:

Disavow any claim to ‘woman’ and ‘female’, including all subsets, ‘lesbian’, ‘mother’, ‘sister’ etc., these are never yours to take;

Clearly and unambiguously denounce male violence against women without exception or qualification or any other way you lot keep trying to wriggle your way out of it;

Affirm that human beings are sexually dimorphic mammals and that what you presently call ‘trans women’ are biologically male;

Be honest about gender, this means recognising autogynephilia as a primary cause of male transsexualism and that the entire concept of ‘living as a woman’ when applied to trans males is just sexism;

Use your activism to support the rights of transsexuals, but not at the expense of women, and not as is so clear in this case to claim a higher step on the validation hierarchy;

Don’t ever use threatening language to women, and while your’re working on that, learn to apologise for being a dick when you’ve been a dick;

Don’t try to undermine women’s voices by using the term ‘radfem’ as a synonym for extreme, just like you actually did;

Fight against today’s fashion of coding sex role nonconformity in children as these children being ‘born in the wrong body’, this is dishonest and incredibly cruel and should be right at the top of your agenda;

Recognise that your own interests are best served by repositioning the trans movement, not the women’s movement; and

Listen to women.

The End.

Transsexual Voices Matter So, the @TSVoices (Transsexual Voices Matter) Twitter and Facebook came and went and is back again. There's plenty I could say about the group's initial statement.

#stupidity

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covered-in-ash-archive · 7 years

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eddie is horribly abusive and y’all need to be aware of him

i really did not want to have to resort to this. i fully intended to not call eddie out and just let this die off. since it hasn’t, multiple friends have convinced me to come forward with the abuse, stalking, harassment, manipulation, gaslighting, misgendering, etc i have been subjected to at the hands of eddie over the past week+. i haven’t used tumblr in... ages, so i’ve completely forgotten how to use coding in tumblr posts. sorry in advance for that. this is going to be both a call out and a “hey, this is what really went down” type of thing.

before i hop into covering the hot garbage that has been happening, here’s is where to find eddie. i fully encourage everyone to block him and warn others. he has been getting away with abusing people for years.

his twitter: https://twitter.com/mrgluskin

his horror blog: https://outlastwikia.tumblr.com/

if anyone knows the url for his main blog, please let me know.

update: been told his main blog is gluskin. i have not confirmed it for myself because i simply want nothing to do with eddie.

this is going to be long, sorry. tw for... pretty much everything. reblogs are encouraged and appreciated. let’s expose this abuser before he can abuse anyone else.

alright. for background’s sake, eddie followed me on twitter because we had a mutual friend, catherine. right off the bat, he bombed me with positive attention, liking all of my tweets, complimenting me, etc. a friend has since pointed out that abusers often do this before abusing their victims. i just figured he was a friendly guy and didn’t think anything of it. catherine and i had a falling out because she kept frequently using the r slur, despite not being autistic, and it was really making me, an autistic person, feel extremely uncomfortable (this is a whole different can of worms, though. catherine has also been outed as an abuser and a suicide baiter). disgruntled by the situation, i posted this to vent my frustration.

this is my personal opinion on the issue, as an autistic person with autistic friends and family, all who agree with my stance. i’m not here to debate this. i want this to focus on eddie and not get derailed.

eddie absolutely flipped his shit at me. he claimed that since he has adhd (which he went on to say is EXACTLY LIKE AUTISM... not even gonna bother to explain how wrong that is. i have both. i should know) he is entitled to use that slur, my feelings be damned. he said that me saying he should not use the r slur erases the ableism people with adhd face. again, this is... not how it works. i wish i had grabbed screencaps because it seems that his tweets have been deleted. all i have is my side of the conversation, where you can see that i was perfectly calm and polite.

i ended things by explaining that i could agree to disagree for the sake of our friendship & that as long as he didn’t use the slur around me i would be fine. he stopped replying to the thread after that.

a while later, i received this message from eddie.

i’m going to point out real quick that the last time i posted to twitter about my makeup was months ago. eddie could only know this if he dug through MONTHS worth of tweets. this was where his stalking began. he went through hundreds upon hundreds of tweets looking for any tiny thing he could use to attack me over. he was actively looking for conflict & things to be mad about. he needed something to demonize me over, because “they asked me to not say r*tard” is obviously going to make him look bad if he cites that as his reason why he has beef with me. we discussed jeffree star briefly & then he blocked me. i wrongly assumed that was going to be the end of it.

i noticed that, during all of this eddie/catherine drama, someone had stolen my url. i thought it was petty/funny, and posted this to twitter. this is the only thing i said about the url. this is literally it. i did not and have not accused anyone of stealing it. i honestly don’t care because i very rarely am on tumblr nowadays.

i’m not sure of exactly what happened, but i’m assuming either catherine told eddie i had said it was him, or eddie somehow convinced himself of it. eddie unblocked me instantly and sent this.

he reblocked me after this. at that point, i consider it harassment.

as i’m combing through his twitter for all of this shit he did to me, i just now saw that he posted screenshots of our conversations in an attempt to turn people against me, while omitting that this whole thing began because he wanted to use SLURS. he posted a handful of tweets gossiping about me.. he has been attempting to paint me as a racist transphobe and he has been telling everyone i accused him of stealing my url, even though i told him i hadn’t accused anyone.

a mutual friend of ours (who has since ditched him) then contacted me saying eddie was posting screenshots of my social media while shit talking me.

the green thing is a screenshot of my listography. i don’t like or associate with q*eer because it’s a slur. i’ve been distancing myself from the lgbt community as of late due to the influx of rape threats, misgendering, harassment, racism, and overall nastiness i’ve been dealing with from lgbt people. i shouldn’t have to justify this. i have my reasons. this is, again, eddie grasping for anything he can use against me.

because liking problematic things makes someone a bad person, amiright? it’s not like i’m an adult who can recognize when something is problematic & still have the capacity to enjoy aspects of it. to put into perspective... eddie is vocally kin with a serial killer from a game that demonizes mentally ill people. he has no room to talk.

this whole time, eddie has been telling people that he cut me off as a friend over me owning jeffree star makeup and was incessantly trashing my name publicly while spreading lies about me. we have mutual followers, so i posted this, trying to keep his name out of things in an attempt to not escalate the drama.

eddie continues to vague and obsess. meanwhile, i’m trying to move on with my life.

not wanting to be associated with a community that treats me poorly doesn’t mean i suddenly don’t face the same struggles as them or can’t have an opinion on the issues i face, just so you know.

at this point, i sent him a message politely asking him to stop talking about me all over his twitter and to move on with his life. he deleted the response but the preview is still on his twitter.

here he is, again, lying about me. i have not contacted a single one of his friends once. i have harassed no one. i haven’t even spoken with catherine since this all began.

anyway.

1) i’m 22 but that’s irrelevant

2) anyone else think him calling my friend ‘babe’ is kind of creepy? just saying

eddie began implying if not outright saying that i’m abusive. he posted this while talking about me. he was “confronting” me at the time so... who else could it possibly be about?

i tweeted these in response, because i take abuse allegations extremely seriously. as an abuse survivor, i do not appreciate even having it be IMPLIED that i am abusive.

after posting these, i hopped in the shower. eddie proceeds to have a meltdown. he had me blocked but i had not blocked him. at this point, i had blocked our mutuals. the only way he could have seen these tweets was by refreshing my twitter over and over again, waiting for me to say something about him/the situation. eddie unblocked me & quoted my tweets with this.

i haven’t lied about anything, as my screencaps illustrate. he just wants to be absolved of any responsibility. i also did not “throw a fit” - i very politely requested that he stop gossiping about me publicly. he also messaged me around the time he quoted my tweets.

again, have not lied about anything. he attempted to gaslight me by saying he was actually calling jeffree star abusive, which is absolutely not what he did. check the screencaps.

i was tired of being nice to the person who had so far harassed and stalked me, lied about me, and attempted to gaslight me.

*drops this here*

well i mean, at least he admits he’s been harassing me?

this tweet below was confirmed about me. in it, he calls me a trans man. i have explicitly stated many times that i am not a trans man. i am nonbinary. i have told my twitter following countless times that calling me a man is misgendering. it is in my bio.

@ranunculae aka fawn reached out to me late at night on the 21st. we had a 5+ hour long conversation in which they explained to me that eddie had abused them and has spent the past 2 years harassing and stalking them like he was doing to me. eddie and catherine had teamed up and suicide baited fawn until fawn had to go inpatient. eddie and catherine have been attempting to socially isolate fawn for 2 years now by spreading lies and doctored screencaps in a sketchy “call out”. you can read fawn’s statements here.

https://ranunculae.tumblr.com/post/166659734265/i-never-abused-eddie/amp

https://ranunculae.tumblr.com/post/166779554950/ranunculae-ranunculae-keythecoward

the 2nd link includes a conversation in which a minor talks about eddie grooming him and attempting to be sexual with him.

i’m going to post some things that fawn sent to me over chat just because they’re semi-relevant.

my irl best friend, cat, was close friends with catherine. fawn and i felt that cat needed to know that catherine was involved in suicide baiting and abusing fawn with eddie. so, we approached cat about it and fawn explained their entire side of things to cat.

eddie, through his relentless stalking of me, noticed we were all in contact.

i want to clarify that fawn/katie has not been on his twitter once throughout all of this. fawn’s boyfriend periodically checks eddie’s twitter to see if he’s still stalking and obsessing over fawn. fawn’s boyfriend saw eddie harassing me, and he let fawn know that eddie had picked a new target to abuse. then fawn contacted me. it literally is a smear campaign. and fawn said the smear campaign was against ME, not them, even though eddie has been posting libel about fawn for years.

1) actual minors have come to me and fawn to tell us about eddie preying on them and grooming them

2) this was a response to cat taking mine and fawn’s sides

3) eddie called cat a ‘cuntbag’, which is misogynistic

4) these ‘victims’ have not come forward because they don’t EXIST. meanwhile, i am nearly the 30th victim of eddie’s that has ACTUALLY COME FORWARD.

eddie attempting to guilt trip and manipulate cat, a csa/incest survivor, for siding with fawn.

again, more lying about me. as you can clearly see, i never threw a fit. i have been calm during this entire ordeal. also... this is, once again, him trying to divert attention away from what really started this; his NEED to use the r slur around someone who is uncomfortable with it.

cyberfuneral = cat’s twitter handle

cat sent me screenshots. eddie does not have her blocked. this is, again, lies and manipulation. if it looks like we’re sneaking around a block, then we’re obviously the bad guys, right?

when cat confronted catherine about eddie calling her misogynistic insults, eddie lied to catherine and claimed he never called cat a cunt. he didn’t even bother to delete the tweets to hide his lies.

scroll up to see him calling me a man, which i am not, thus it was misgendering. also, childish insults.

this is referring to something i added at the bottom of my listography. i’d like to point out that he posted this within minutes of me updating my listography. further stalking right there.

this is what my listography currently says. it is a temporary placeholder in lieu of an actual call out. it will be replaced or updated with the link to this post after it is published. you wanted the screencaps posted, eddie, so you’re getting your wish.

i can only imagine what filth eddie is saying on his locked personal twitter. i think i’d rather not know, though.

it has been more than an entire week of stalking, harassment, gaslighting, manipulation, lying, smear campaigns, misgendering, misogyny, etc etc from eddie. he is awful. he is abusive and a manipulator. do not befriend him. the second you upset him, he will turn on you and treat you like he has countless others. i am just one victim out of many. stay away. block him. spread this to warn people.

@eddieabuser2

#outlastwikia #ranunculae #avas demon #call out post #abuser call out #gluskin #gayfreddy #edgiegluskin #ptsdgluskin

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badrpstories · 6 years

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Hey guys GUESS WHO’S BORED AND WAS REMINISCING ABOUT SOME HILARIOUS BAD RP EXPERIENCES.

Heyo Mod Anna here and let me share my tale of bad rp shit in which I am simultaneously a bad rper and still better than these guys.

First of all though, lemme just say, Mod Lup and I, not entirely in the right. We’ve grown since this incident BUT it’s still a good story so here have fun with hearing about an entire group of shitheads.

So it all begins on the offsite location that Mod Lup and I rp on. The site is in fact home to a large variety of different communities and people tend to reach out to others who they want to invite to their rps all the time. No big deal. We’ve both been invited to several and the same with other people in our community even though we’re both fairly private.

The story begins with the time that everybody in the community got an invite to one of these separate communities but me. And it was literally, every active player but me got an invite. Now being the dumb and emotionally volatile Mod Anna I am I got offended over this because my community only ever rped with my community. I was a very active part and anybody who read our posts would’ve seen I was one of the more active players. Now I’ve suspected that this was because I rped a self insert in the rp because when I’m very close to people I bring out my self insert sometimes and the fandom just happened to be the one she was a part of, and the host just happened to be my then time exboyfriend/best friend. But we’re not going to get into that. So anyways I was offended and stewed and we went through their forum and it was glorious for a laugh. I’m talking they had sexual content in every thread even if it wasn’t smut (like they didn’t know how to rp a romance without it getting sexual bad) and they had a “lemons thread” and yes you’re reading that right, a lemons thread. And it was full of awful, anatomically incorrect smut (including a dick penetrating into the stomach) that was literally one line or less. I’m not joking one liners in smut listen I don’t smut but even I know better than to think you can smut in one line or less. And to further the bad they really didn’t seem to know source material that well.

And so we got a good laugh, I got a bit huffy at them when they finally sent me a message inviting me, and after that they were forgotten in my mind besides as the really bad rp we could laugh at occasionally.

That was at least until months later, when they were STILL harassing several members of my community to join. Including my sister. We were all starting to get annoyed, it was around 2:00 AM my time, so we finally decided to retaliate to get them to stop. First it was just a friend stealing a second account of mine I used for talking to a couple of people I didn’t want on my main account to be a bit trolly. Then a couple of friends, I’ll call them Music and Ghost got involved once the big post was deleted. Which was understandable since they were the other two members still being harassed about this rp the most (I think they’d received four messages since the initial one. My sister got three for sure. And I think another person got two.) They immediately went on and started pointing out the bad smut.

This is when Mod Lup and I got involved. Since she’s a sex repulsed ace and I’m a sex repulsed ace (although at the time I thought I was sex neutral) so we decided because we actually write more than one liners, we’d have to be better at smutting than them, which we probably are. So we went on using a set of accounts dedicated to a set of fictional brothers and said so ourselves, acting completely in character because why not? But we also very much used our actual pronouns and completely pointed out and anybody who knew the characters our paired accounts were based on would kinda know we were just acting in character.

Then when they got all upset at us acting high and mighty over the fact that we were better smut rpers, they challenged us to a smut war. Which is far. Now Ghost and the friend who stole my alt are underaged, so we immediately banned them from the smut, so that left Music, Lup, and I. Since Lup is sex repulsed, Music and I volunteered to smut and I explained that we’d be the only ones up for the smut war because of the above reasons. So we take a couple of Lup’s ocs and actually start smutting. Now Music and I are real close so we had a lot of fun with it, worked on the buildup, spent time fleshing out the posts while continuing to chat in the ooc thread with people.

And then somebody came on and outright said that asexual people were just people who couldn’t get sex.

I was literally floored. Yes I came on and screwed with their forum but I expected them to make fun of our smut. I was ready for it. I did not expect them to say that asexuality didn’t fucking exist.

Like talk about your aphobic assholes. We left after it was clear they weren’t going to accept asexuality was real. And it was so ridiculous. I’m not saying I was in the right but at least I wasn’t bigoted either.

For the record, here are some quotes from them:

The only women we have either want to be men or don't like sex... So take your pick. (In response to Mod Lup pretending to flirt.)

“Want to be men” so they’re trans and they are men. Not want to be men.

The temptation to say asexuality is just a cop-out for those who can't get laid or choose to save themselves for marriage is increasing every time I see those words.

I'm not saying there is no such thing as a lack of sexual attraction, because there are relationships that don't have sex in them. That's entirely up to the couple. The largest number of vocal aces though just happen to be Tumblrinas who Love to exaggerate everything. You all do you how you'd do you.

The second was the post that made me drop it, because the second isn’t a lack of sexual attraction and the fact that they used “tumblrina” was enough to prove they were an asshole.

Oh yeah, and they left this lovely gem about us:

Waluigi: A pompous douche who actually believes we believe he knows biology and is not more-than likely just a 7th grader fresh from sex ed with more Mario puns than there are Sonic games. (Side note: Likely lied about having experience other than hentai games and pornhub premium)

Ghost: Didn't get much, but he seems to be a chaotic neutral in a way. Though, this is likely derived from my knowledge on his personality being minimal at best.

Actually not a participant of our forums: One of the people who ruined Undertale for the world, as his/her post clearly states; 'if you're gonna sin you gotta do it right tho' and likely enjoys having sex with an underage goat boy.

Music: Just another random I didn't get enough info on during that little dispute. Made a few grammatical and spelling errors but I won't use that as an insult as that's the most petty form of insulting another individual. Though what I did get was that he/she is also into undertale and since she had talked about our smut being "Low quality" when she CLEARLY knows how to smut better. More-than likely on a smut forum to have sex with dog cats named 'Tem'

Yuuka Sakazaki (Mod Lup): I'm afraid I don't have much to say about this one. He/she came in, insulted our rp style in terms of our smut, said they don't like our forum, and then proceeded to try and act like they wanted to stay and be friends. A two faced bitch at the very best and likely a liar at the worst. But that's just how I took their interaction with us. Used this format rather frequently to likely signify thoughts rather than speaking out loud for some odd reason since everyone can read it.

Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane (Myself): Likely also lied about being ace since he/she stated that they've never had sex. So (Jerkwad) more-than likely hit in out of the ballpark with his comment. Also insulted us based on 'how we write our smut' and then proceeded to say he and his "Brother" had done nothing to us, even when his "Brother" claimed to have a boyfriend and "Could have sex whenever he wants" even though he said he wanted to seduce our women after saying he was, indeed, "Ace". He's likely just a two-faced liar like his "Brother" And has no place here if he's going to act like he did with his band of merry men.

Yeah I forgot to mention that they took somebody trolling as Waluigi seriously.

#rp #submission #transphobia tw #aphobia tw #I sat with this in my drafts for five days before finally deciding to queue it

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