Beginnings Part 2
read Part One, and Interlude first. Part 3 is done!.
Eddie was the opposite of calm. He was terrified well beyond rational thought and he had one intention. Survive. By any means necessary. When he jumped out of the boat and pressed the edge of the broken bottle against his attacker’s throat nothing could have stopped him. Except. “Steve, this is Steve!” Steve. Steve who he had wronged. Steve who he had bullied. Steve with the perfect life that maybe wasn’t so perfect. And he stopped.
************
Eddie’s cup runneth over. His public display of dominance had been more than enough to establish a reputation that he was not to be fucked with. He didn’t even need to torment Steve to keep the memory alive, but Eddie continued his menacing glances and subtle jabs nonetheless. Because he could. Because it was fun. It was that feeling you get when you’re five years old and you’ve just completed some kick ass move like jumping off the swing at it’s zenith and you shout to your parents, “Look at me! Look at me!” His own parents had never looked. They had never been there to begin with. But now. Now everyone was looking at what he had done and it felt so fucking good. He couldn’t be too obvious since the basketball team had rallied around Steve, keeping him out of bounds most of the time, but he still found sly little opportunities to flash his knife or murmur a not so subtle threat when Steve came near. It was enough to keep his high feeling fresh.
By the time the school year was over, even local drug dealer Rick Lipton had heard of him. When Eddie decided that manual labor didn’t fit his new image, he proposed they begin a business relationship and Rick was quick to agree. He knew that Eddie could handle himself if there was trouble and having a dealer embedded in the high school made sense. Eddie spent the next two years dealing at school and weekend parties and while he wasn’t exactly accepted, no one messed with him and he only rarely had to display his feral nature to the jocks that ran the school. In the meantime, he convinced the theater teacher to sponsor an after school club for his gang of nerds. Mr. Hughes didn’t know what Dungeons & Dragons was, exactly, but it felt dramatic and he was happy to oblige. If only Eddie put as much energy into his academic responsibilities as he had done with his social life he would have been out of High School in a quick minute. But he was too busy enjoying the life he created for himself to consider the consequences.
Senior year, Steve pulled up to the school in his BMW feeling pretty great for the first time in his high school career. He had an amazing girlfriend, basketball was starting soon, and best of all there would be no more run-ins with Munson. It wasn’t that he was scared of him, exactly. After that day in the cafeteria Freshman year Munson had backed off for the most part. Sure he still glared at him and whispered threats and flashed his stupid knife, but for the most part Steve was able to avoid him and pretend he didn’t exist. It helped that they never had any classes together. And while the freak had managed to be at every house party Steve attended, he preferred alcohol over drugs anyway so they had zero interaction. And beyond that, Steve now knew there were much scarier things in the world than a high school kid with a knife. No, he wasn’t afraid, it was just…a lot. Munson was obviously still a live wire waiting to strike and Steve had to be vigilant. He had put up walls and created a persona of his own to balance out the bully that still dogged him and it took a lot of effort to mask his more vulnerable, sensitive side. Most of his energy went to creating the character of King Steve that everyone now expected and that he hated.. He had done things he regretted, that shit show with Jonathan Byers for example, and he had willingly lost friends in the process, good riddance to Tommy H. and Carol, but he was trying to scale back the arrogant jock attitude and be more himself, especially with Nancy.
His guard was so low that when he sauntered into his first class ready to take on the world Steve was completely blindsided when the freak, himself, pushed past him to grab a seat in the back. Steve could feel the pinpricks of tears forming. He couldn’t do this. Not again. Not when he thought he was finally free. He bolted from the room and straight into the bathroom before anyone could really register he was gone. Shit. Shit shit shit. He was pretty sure someone up there hated him these days. He had fought an other-worldly creature no problem, but it was still Eddie Munson who had the power to make him run. This year was officially going to suck.
Eddie watched Steve run from the classroom and grinned. He still had it, baby. Maybe his second senior year would actually be fun.
Steve’s senior year was anything but fun. Steve graduated. His parents didn’t come. His ex-girlfriend didn’t come. A bunch of middle school kids came and cheered for him and that was nice, but also kind of embarrassing. This was apparently his life now. The brightspot? Eddie Munson’s name wasn’t called. Not that Steve was listening for it. Eddie Munson could go to hell as far as he was concerned. But he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved not to have to share this day with him.
Eddie watched from under the bleachers as Steve Harrington received his diploma along with the rest of his class. Whatever. Fuck him and his perfect hair and his perfect life.
Eddie was definitely pissed to be doing Senior year for the third time, but there were still moments of joy like when he gathered new freshman sheepies. His original group of freshmen had finally graduated without him, but he still had Jeff, Frank, and Gareth and now he was ready to induct a new crew. They were a little wary, and if he didn’t know better he’d say they looked kind of shellshocked, sort of like some of Uncle Wayne’s friends who had been to ‘Nam. With Eddie’s outlandish personality and dramatic welcome they opened up eventually. He liked the curly hair kid, Dustin, the best. God that kid never shut up, though which, depending on the topic, could be annoying.
Right now Eddie was extra annoyed because the topic he wouldn’t shut up about was Steve Fucking Harrington. Was that guy going to haunt him for the rest of his life?
“Eddie, you’d like Steve if you knew him. I asked him and he was kind of weird about it, but he says he didn’t really get to know you in high school and I think that’s a shame because he was bullied really badly and I bet you could have helped him and protected him.”
“What are you talking about, kid? King Steve was never bullied a day in his life.” Eddie scoffed.
“No, he was.” Lucas nodded sagely. “He said that the only reason it didn’t totally destroy him was that he had the basketball team on his side. That’s one of the reasons I’m doing basketball. You got to have people on your side. That’s what Steve says.”
“Steve says,” Eddie mimicked, “Jocks can’t be bullied, they ARE the bullies.”
“That’s not true. I’m not a bully.” Lucas muttered.
“Yeah, well you’re more nerd than jock.”
“Steve’s a nerd too.” Dustin insisted, “He just doesn’t show it, but he watches Star Wars with me all the time and he has a huge collection of Spiderman comics stashed in his bedroom. Even Robin calls him a dingus. Do you know Robin? I think they should date but she says they are platonic with a capital P. I think that’s crap with a capital C. They’ll get their shit together eventually.”
“I….don’t know if I know Robin?” Eddie’s head is starting to spin. “So who bullied King Steve?”
“He won’t say, but it started freshman year. He gave us a big talk before school started about being safe and staying in a group. I guess the kid, like, followed him around and would push him and stuff. And one time he even pulled a knife on him. That’s crazy right? He said he was afraid to go to school for all of freshman year. It’s awful because Steve had, well he wouldn’t want me to say, but he doesn’t have great parents so home sucked and school sucked. I wish you guys had been friends. And then maybe he could have been in Hellfire or something. He’s great with a bat and I bet his character…”
Eddie couldn’t listen anymore. His brain was on overload. Had he really done all that to Steve? Actually caused him pain?
Well. Fuck.
“Roooobin,” Steve whined, “Are you even listening to me?” They were behind the counter at Family Video rewinding tapes while they waited for even one customer to come in to relieve their boredom.
“I AM listening, Steve,” she reasoned, “But I think you’re letting your jockish prejudices get in the way of rational thought. Hellfire is just a group of nerds who role play and I know Eddie can look all scary and intimidating, but he’s totally not a bad guy. We were in band together last year and he’s honestly just a big goofball. Yeah, he’s loud and okay, a drug dealer, but I know for sure that he doesn’t sell to underclassmen so you don’t have to worry about that. The kids are fine with him.”
“You don’t know him like I do.” Steve glowered, “And…well, I’m afraid that if he knows the kids are associated with me that he’ll, like, take it out on them.”
“Why? What did you do to him?” Robin glared and Steve knew she thought there was some bullshit King Steve incident in their past and all of a sudden it was too much. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her how weak he had been, but also this was ROBIN and he couldn’t stand the idea that she thought of him that way.
“NOTHING!” he burst out, “I did NOTHING to him EVER.” And suddenly he couldn’t breathe. Tears pooled in his eyes and it felt like something was going to burst out of his chest, like that gross Sigourney Weaver film Robin had made him watch. He sank to his knees and pressed his hands to his eyes.
“Okay. You’re okay, Steve.” Robin hunched over him. She placed a firm hand on his chest, “I've got you. Breathe with me. In and out. You’re safe. I’m here and you’re safe.”
Steve managed some gasping breaths and could feel his heart rate coming down. Right. This was Robin, his soulmate, he could tell her and she would understand. “It started the first day of freshman year…”
Eddie didn’t end Hellfire early, even though he felt nauseous and increasingly distracted. He owed it to the group as their DM to see it through so he pushed his feelings aside and let the kids get through a tough battle before calling it a night. “Okay, that’s it for now. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Y'all got rides lined up?”
“Yeah, we’re getting picked up,” muttered Mike, “He’s probably already out there waiting.” “Alright then, chariots may wait no longer. Scram!” Eddie hurried everyone out the door and quickly cleaned up the papers and books sprawled on the table. As he made his way out he could hear the kids chattering away about the most recent developments in the campaign and as he burst through the gym door he heard a sharp whistle. “Can we please let’s go before your parents kill me for missing your curfew? I’ve been out here forever waiting for you guys to be done.” Eddie knew that voice. He looked up straight into the eyes of Steve Harrington. He was dressed in his regular polo and jeans, hair perfect as always, leaning confidently on the hood of his BMW, but as Eddie caught his eye he saw the boy flinch and round his shoulders. Christ Almighty. What had Eddie done?
Eddie didn’t even remember driving home. He was at school in his van and then he was fully dressed in his bed. Over and over his mind replayed the events of the last four years. He wasn’t a stranger to reminiscing about his days as the Freak who humbled the King, but this time he tried to remember that Steve was a flesh and blood person, a kid, really, like Dustin or Mike or Lucas. A kid with real feelings and problems who, maybe, didn’t deserve to get picked on for entertainment. And wasn’t that the thing. Eddie had never stopped to consider that what he was doing might have been just as bad, or even worse, than what had been done to him. Maybe Harrington had deserved it? By his junior year he certainly seemed like a real asshole. But also, Eddie never really remembered seeing Steve initiate any of the prickish behaviors his sports ball friends liked to engage in. Now that he thought about it, he remembered a few times where Steve hung back and helped pick up dropped books and papers or check that a kid was okay after having been tripped in the hall. Eddie groaned. This wasn’t the first time he’d messed up in his life, but it felt like the most important.
Eddie didn’t get out of bed for three days. His uncle tried to coax him out with favorite meals and rented movies, but Eddie couldn’t face him. Uncle Wayne still thought Eddie was a good person and that was decidedly untrue. On day three he decided that he needed a new plan. He wasn’t even sure of the ultimate goal but he knew that step one would be making sure that Steve was okay.
“Robin,” Steve hissed. “He’s out there again.” Steve was staring out the front window of Family Video trying to look like he wasn’t staring out the window at the man casually leaning on a telephone pole across the street. He knew it sounded crazy, but he was pretty sure that Eddie Munson was stalking him. It was nothing he could prove because it was always in public but increasingly when he was out and about he would feel eyes on him and when he turned to look, Eddie would be there. Yeah, alright, he was always doing something totally normal like buying groceries or having a smoke. And sure, Eddie never approached him or glared at him the way he did when they were in school which, honestly felt weird. And even weirder, a couple of times when Eddie noticed Steve noticing Eddie, he had smiled abashedly and fluttered his fingers in a little wave. If Steve had to define it, he would have to say that Eddie was 'reverse bullying' him. Was that even a thing? Maybe he was just fattening him up with his pretty smiles and doe eyes like a lamb being fed before he was slaughtered. It was disconcerting to say the least.
Robin gave Steve a sympathetic shrug. She had been appropriately outraged when he had given her the details of his run-ins with Eddie but it was still hard for her to see him as anything other than the loud funny guy from band. “Just ignore him. He lives in this town just like us so you’re bound to see him now and again. And, so far at least, he’s been good to the kids. Maybe try to let it go? And speaking of band, did I tell you what Vickie did yesterday?....” Steve turned away from the window to concentrate on Robin’s latest installment of the life of her crush. Let it go. Okay. He could try.
Eddie watched as Steve turned away. He had learned a lot from watching him these past months. Steve was kind to cashiers, patient when he was rung up incorrectly, and flirty in a dorky kind of way that never paid off. He was always carting Eddie’s Hellfire kids places like the arcade or the diner or the mall two towns over and it seemed like he did it out of the goodness of his heart. He was a hard worker, staying late at work to clean thoroughly and lock up. He was a good friend to Buckley, dancing with her and running around when the store was empty. Eddie could see why Dustin thought they were more than just friends. From the outside, Steve seemed to be just fine, but Eddie watched and he saw more. When he thought no one was paying attention, Steve looked sad. He flinched at loud noises. And at night he went home to an empty house where, Eddie knew, he had to be lonely. Eddie wasn’t so naive as to think all Steve’s problems stemmed from a stupid kid in high school who wouldn't leave him alone, but Eddie felt responsible for adding to his pain. He felt lost, except for one thing. Every so often he would catch a glimpse of Steve with Robin or Dustin and his face would light up with the most painfully beautiful smile. It was like looking into the face of the sun after a long rain and Eddie couldn’t catch his breath gazing at him. “I see you Steve Harrington and I will do whatever it takes to keep you smiling. I goddamn swear it."
———————-
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Everybody Hurts
Chapter 23
Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader
Summary: You needed to escape, escape from your life, your messy divorce, and all the pitying looks. Looks you couldn't ignore when everyone in town had known you and Cam, had known your shame and failure. So, you took the first job you could get, teaching third grade in a town called Hawkins. Little did you know, you were walking right into another messy situation, a messy situation with big brown eyes and long dark waves. But he's resistant, at times unbearable and you start getting curious about the town's past, his past, especially when things don't start adding up.
18+ Only for eventual smut
Last chapter: 01/31
Word Count: 7.8K
Masterlist
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
You pulled off into the grass in front of Eddie’s uncle’s trailer. The small driveway was already filled to capacity with the monstrous truck and the oversized van. Your eyes roamed over the small dwelling with trepidation, wondering once again why in the hell you'd agreed to this, why you were the one who was coming to talk to him. Anyone else had to be a better option than you.
You'd only known each other a little over a month. Eddie clearly didn’t trust you yet, at least not completely. He definitely didn’t trust you enough to tell you what was haunting him night after night. What would make any of them think that he would be open to spilling his innermost thoughts and fears with you? What could possibly make them believe that you would be the one to get through to him?
Your arms came to rest on top of the steering wheel, forehead pressed against them as you tried to muster up enough courage to get out of the damn car. Because the minute you did so, the moment the two of you came face-to-face, Eddie was presented with the opportunity to end things, to tell you it was over. If you just stayed in the safety of this car, this little car that he’d so sweetly fixed up for you, then you could stay ignorant. If he didn’t get the chance to end things, then you remained in limbo.
And you were convinced that was exactly what he would do if given the chance. How many times had he reiterated that the two of you were a bad idea? He was going to run from you as fast and as far as he could, convinced that he didn’t deserve this, didn’t earn the right to be happy, that he was doomed for the rest of his life because of circumstances beyond his control. How would you ever get him to see how wrong he was? What could you say or do to show him how very much he not only deserved happiness, but the entire world?
In such a short time, Eddie had elicited feelings within you, feelings that were stronger and deeper than anything you'd ever felt before. A veritable roller coaster of intense emotions that came out of nowhere and swept you off her feet. It was a wild ride, one you couldn’t stop whether you wanted to or not. If someone would have asked you a few months ago if it was possible to fall in love with someone in just a few weeks, you would have laughed in their face but here you were, completely head over heels.
And that was the problem, that was why you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of this car. Because, ridiculous though it may be, you were already in too deep. The waves were crashing over your head, you didn’t know up from down, swirling in the mass of darkness that was Eddie. The very thought of him ending things, of never looking into those whiskey depths you wanted to drown in, of never running your fingers through those delicious waves, of never being held in those deceivingly strong arms, knocked the wind right out of you. You had already suffered one heartbreak and you'd survived. But you weren't sure if you would make it through losing Eddie.
How could losing a relationship that lasted thirteen years possibly hurt less than one that had been going on for a few weeks? You didn’t know. There wasn’t a single rational explanation for it. You could never put it into words because you didn’t understand it yourself but there it was. Losing Eddie would hurt worse than losing Cam ever had and whether it was crazy or not, it was the truth.
Jesus Christ. What were you going to do? What were you going to say? You had been racking your brain the entire ride over here, trying to think up some magic words that would make Eddie see how wrong he was, how wrong this town was. A guy like him didn’t belong in a small town like this, where the people were small-minded, ignorant, set in their antiquated ways of thinking. It wasn’t his fault that he was surrounded by people who couldn’t look beyond clothes and hair to see the good person underneath it all.
He wasn’t a monster. Eddie Munson was the farthest thing from a monster you could find. He was soft, sweet, nerdy, empathetic, and thoughtful. He put on this armor that was him being a jerk to try to protect himself but that’s all it was, just a thin shell he used to keep people out. Underneath all of that, he was just a little boy that wanted to be loved, that wanted to matter, that wanted acceptance. Was that really such an awful thing to want?
A light rapping on your car window had you jumping with a shriek. Hands clutching your chest, you looked over to see Uncle’s Wayne’s weathered face, a kind smile, and amused eyes peering at you. He chuckled softly, holding both hands up. You released a slow breath of embarrassment at having been startled so easily, reaching for the handle and cranking the window down.
“Sorry ‘bout that sweetheart. I didn’t mean to startle you or nothing. I just happened to step out for a smoke and saw you sitting in here with your head down. I waited for a bit but when you weren’t getting out, I started to get a bit worried. You okay?”
“Yeah. I actually came to talk to Eddie.”
“Well, you’ll have to get out of that car if you want to do that because I can tell you right now, he ain’t coming out here. I’ve been trying to talk some sense into him all morning but that boy is more stubborn than a damn mule. He don’t want to listen to nothing.”
“Well, then maybe I should just head home. If he’s not listening to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”
Wayne straightened, taking a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes moving to the trailer and then back to you, “Now, I don’t know about that. I have a feeling my nephew might be more inclined to listen to his pretty girlfriend than his old uncle. He’s convinced I don’t know what I’m talking about, like he’s the first one to be tarnished with the name Munson in this town.”
“You too? I guess I just thought that people thought that stuff about him because of his dad.”
“Yeah, well, where do you think my brother learned it?” A long plume of smoke fell from his lips, his hip coming to lean on the side of the car. “My dad was a thief. Cars just like my brother. He’d sell them to this guy at a chop shop for the parts. He taught us how to hotwire at a young age. Well, one day he stole the wrong car off the wrong guy. This guy happened to keep a pistol under his seat and caught my dad right between the eyes.”
“Oh my god…I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
Wayne shrugged, “Well, when you choose the criminal life, you choose the consequences that come with that. Anyway, my mom struggled being all on her own. She worked two jobs just to make ends meet but we still got evicted from our house. She bought a trailer in this shitty park because it’s what she could afford and that’s where we grew up. Don’t think the kids in this place were any nicer then than they are now.”
“Are they ever?”
“True. We were the trailer park trash, you know. Our mom had to shop at thrift stores so we were always wearing whatever she could get for cheap. It was often too big so we could wear it for a while before she had to buy more. Sometimes our stuff had holes she’d try to mend or stains she hadn’t been able to get out in the wash. We always packed our lunch. Nothing fancy. Just some bologna on Wonder Bread. Maybe some pretzels if she could swing it. But those kids teased us something fierce. White trash, trailer park trash, Oliver Twist, bums…and the shit they said about our mom…” He sighed, shaking his head, those kind eyes saddened as painful memories revisited him. “Anyway, my brother refused to live that life anymore. He swore he would make himself a bunch of money and get out of here. But then he met Ed’s mom and she got pregnant. I tried to tell him that he needed to grow up and get his shit together, to be a father, someone his son could be proud of. But he had it in his head that the only way to make his son proud was to make lots of money. Clearly, he didn’t learn anything because he went down the same exact path our dad had. And then Ed’s mom…it was just too hard for her. She wasn’t strong like my mom. I tried to help her but she was too far gone. She couldn’t…I’ll never forgive myself for letting that boy see the things he did.”
“That’s not your fault,” you assured him, your hand slipping through the window to rest on the older man’s arm. “Eddie told me you tried to take him but she wouldn’t let you. There was nothing you could do without going through the proper channels. You could have wound up in jail if you’d just taken him. Even if it would have been the best thing for him, it would still have been kidnapping.”
“Yeah. I know. But I knew she was heading down a dark road. I knew he wasn’t safe. I went and talked to a lawyer but money was tight for me too, you know? It wasn’t a fast road because I had to save a bit up so I could afford the fees. I just wasn’t fast enough.”
“You saved him. Eddie thinks the world of you. You’re the one person who has always been there for him, who has always had his back, who has always believed in him. You’re everything to him. That’s why I don’t think he’ll listen to anything I say. If he won’t listen to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”
“Now, I don’t know about that,” Wayne countered, tossing his Marlboro on the ground before grinding it down with his foot. “You’ve brought about a change in my boy, a change I haven’t seen in too long. To be frank, a change that means more to me than just about anything in this world. He’s been unhappy…hell, he’s not even been living since all that nonsense with those murders. He’s just been going through the motions for a long time. Ever since he saw that girl die and this town wasted no time accusing him for it, he’s not been the same. Ed was sad for a long time after his mom but he always had this…this spark about him, I guess. He was animated. Boy could not tell a story without his hands getting involved in the telling too. He was loud as hell, always playing on that guitar or yelling about something, talked a mile a minute, that kid. I had trouble keeping up half the time. He could be downright obnoxious. Back then I would have given anything for him to be quiet for just a little while. But after everything, I would have sold my soul to get that rowdy kid back. You did that.”
“I didn’t do anything, not really,” you insisted, shaking your head. Your fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, gripping it tight as a shadow moved behind the curtain in the trailer. Eddie. He was right there, so close, and your body pulled toward him, compelling you to go to him but you stayed rooted in your seat, your fear winning.
“Don’t sell yourself short there, darling. I saw it from the moment he brought you here to look at that old car. Which, by the way, he did a hell of a job on. I hardly recognized it. Took me a moment to realize who was sitting outside my place. But the way he looked at you, I ain’t never seen that boy look at anything like that before, not even that damn guitar and his eyes lit up like firecrackers when he opened that thing.”
You laughed, rolling your eyes, your hand coming up to nervously brush your hair behind your ear, “Now I know you’re seeing things because he was mad at me that day. I asked if this was where he grew up and he got bristly, expecting me to judge him.”
“No. He got bristly because he liked you and he feared you’d look down on him like everyone else once you knew his past. That boy looked at you like you were the sun, like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I knew you were something special right then.”
“I don’t think that’s…”
Wayne held up his hand, skin worn from years of hard labor just inches from your face, “You need to stop thinking so hard. I’ve known that boy his whole life and I know what I saw. Ed hasn’t ever brought a girl around here. Trust me. You’re something special and a girl like that, when a man feels a certain kind of way about her, that girl can convince him to do just about anything.” Grabbing onto the handle, Wayne pulled open the car door. “So, you think you’re ready to go in there and give it a shot? Maybe do what I couldn’t? I’d sure appreciate it.”
Blue eyes that you just couldn’t bring yourself to disappoint begged you to try. You had two choices. You could tell him no, drive out of here, and hope someone else reached Eddie. But what would he think if you just avoided him? Would he assume that you didn’t want him? That you believed all that bullshit about him? No. You couldn’t let him think that.
So, choice number two it was. You had to push back all the fear of what could happen, walk into that trailer, and tell him who he was. Tell him the man you saw, the man you wanted, the man you loved. Maybe you didn’t use that word just yet. The man had enough scares for a lifetime in the last twenty-four hours. Your irrationally intense feelings could wait. No reason to make him leave an Eddie shaped hole in the side of the trailer as he tried to run from your insanity.
“Alright,” you finally said softly. “I’ll try but I’m not making any promises.”
“Not asking you to, but listen.” His hand came to rest on your shoulder, even more lines appearing on his forehead as he furrowed his brow. “Don’t you let my nephew push you away, okay? He’s gonna try. I know he is because he’s just as stubborn as I am. But he don’t mean a damn word of whatever bullshit he’s going to spout at you about why you shouldn’t be with him. He’s gonna think it’s for your own good. But if you care for him the way I think you do, push right back.”
You gave him a tight lipped smile, your hand covering his, “That’s the plan.”
“You in this for the long haul, honey?”
“I’d like to be. Eddie…” Your lips pressed together, wet emotion clinging to your lashes. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him and I was with my ex for a long time. I can’t explain it. I know it’s nuts. We haven’t known each other that long but I…well, I am crazy about him. And I don’t want to lose him.”
“Then don’t and nothing you said is crazy. Maybe that other guy, your ex, wasn’t the one you were supposed to be with. Maybe your heart just recognized the person who completed it when it saw him. Maybe it looked and went, this is what was missing. Because, I gotta tell you, I think you’re what was missing for my boy.”
You grinned, teeth showing, at the older man’s words. You'd never thought of it like that. Could that be how it worked? Cam clearly had not been the right choice. If he had been, he wouldn’t have strayed because you would have been enough for him. Could it be that something within you, your heart or soul or whatever it was, saw him and went, oh there you are. It recognized him, as if he were the piece that it needed to be complete. Could that be why your feelings for him were so strong, so fast?
“He’s definitely the piece I’ve been missing,” you told him.
“Then maybe it’s time you tell him that,” Wayne called over his shoulder as he ambled toward his truck, pulling open the door and climbing up into the driver’s seat.
“Where are you going?”
“Well, damndest thing, I just remembered that 8 Ball is almost out of cat food. Think I would have thought of that earlier.”
Throwing you a wink, his hand giving a short wave out of the window, elbow resting on the frame, Wayne backed out and drove away, leaving you standing in front of the trailer. There was no way he just randomly decided to get cat food. He was trying to give you some privacy for this conversation with Eddie. Maybe he just didn’t want to be there when Eddie crushed you or lost his shit on you for being too pushy. Either way, you were on her own now.
Taking a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever outcome awaited you, you turned to face the trailer. A long shadow appeared behind the curtain, disappearing and reappearing just as quickly, an anxious body pacing. Would that anxiety cause him to push you away, to get rude and nasty the way he’d done so many times? Maybe but there was no turning back now. You'd given Wayne your word and something about that man would not let you go back on it. You didn’t want to disappoint him.
Slow steps up to the door. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. You could do this. You could be what Eddie needed you to be. You could make him see. You knew all the facts now. You knew what he’d been through. No more secrets. No walls between them, concealing everything that was hurting him. He could talk openly to you about everything he’d been through and you could listen. You could be whatever he needed you to be, do whatever he needed you to do.
Raising your hand, you knocked on the door gently but firmly. You barely got in one knock before the door was wrenched open, revealing the face you'd been longing to see ever since the moment he’d been led away from you in the jail.
“The door wasn’t locked, old man,” Eddie began, stopping when he realized the person knocking was not his uncle. His head dropped, fingers gripping the frame of the door, a soft groan escaping his lips, letting you know he was less than pleased to find you there. “Prom Queen, what the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m here because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
His bottom lip was swollen, his tongue playing over the scab from where it had been split. His eye was a dark shade of violet along with his cheek. A butterfly bandage sat over his eyebrow where the skin had also been split in the fight with Andy.
You stepped toward him, your hand reaching for his face, every part of you aching to comfort him. As if this man needed any more scars or injuries. You were pretty sure the bats and the freaky science fiction shit that you'd just learned about had given him more than his fair share. But as you opened your arms, needing to feel him close to you, he took a step back, his hands held out as if fending you off.
There it was, a physical barrier to match the invisible one he was quickly assembling around his heart. Armor to keep you out, to protect himself from getting hurt again. But the last thing that you wanted to do was hurt him. All you wanted was to make every single injury, both internal and external, better. You wanted to heal every bruise. To give him something good, something that he deserved, probably more than most after what he’d been willing to sacrifice to save a town that hated him.
“Eddie, please don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t shut me out,” you pleaded, your hands dropping to your sides as you stepped into the trailer and closed the door behind you. Maybe he could shut down on you but he wasn’t going to make you leave, not until you'd had your say. “Don’t put up that wall again. Don’t tell me that we shouldn’t be together.”
“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, hair tumbling around his shoulders as he shook his head with annoyance. “Princess, are you delusional? I attacked a man. I would have killed Andy if Harrington hadn’t stopped me. I was headed to jail, which is probably where I belong. I mean, it is what us Munsons do. It’s where this whole town figured I would end up, anyway.”
“You don’t belong in jail, Eddie.”
“Then where does a monster belong?”
You leapt at him, grabbing onto both of his arms, the warmth of his biceps seeping through the thin cotton, heating your palms. You felt your entire body relax just a bit, relieved to finally have him close enough to touch.
He jerked and then stopped, two pairs of eyes so full of pain that you could drown in it. He was drowning in it, drowning in all the doubts he’d ever had about himself that had been thrust to the surface. A man who struggled to believe there was anything good in him after so many years of being told there wasn’t.
“You are not a monster,” you stated, trying to convey how much you believed that with your eyes. “You are a good man. You would not have killed Andy. I know you wouldn’t have. He’s been tormenting you for years. He grabbed me. You reacted because you were defending me, defending yourself. Years of torment and pain took over in that moment and nobody can blame you for that. If this town knew what you’d done for them, none of them would have a bad thing to say about you.”
Eddie’s head tipped, eyes narrowing, sweet little lines appearing between his eyebrows, “What do you know about it?”
“Everything,” you told him, feeling like a ten ton truck had been removed from your chest, no longer being crushed under all the secrets, all the information you didn’t have. It was a barrier that had been removed from between them. “After you got arrested, everyone talked and decided that I needed to know what had happened. All of it.”
“All of it?” he questioned, disbelief etched within his features.
“I think so. I know about the lab, Eleven’s powers, the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, Vecna, how you saved everyone with your guitar playing skills, how you put yourself at risk to give them more time.” You swallowed hard, your last words coming out as a sob. “How you almost died…”
“Then you know that I ran,” he spat angrily, pulling his arms from your grip, pacing across the room. A shaky hand rested on top of his head. “I saw Chrissy and I ran. I didn’t stay to help. I got scared. I was a goddamn coward. I’m still a coward. I can’t even sleep without being terrified by my nightmares. That was how he got you, you know? Vecna. I never saw him. He killed Chrissy in her mind. And then Patrick…how do you hide or protect yourself from someone who can access your damn mind?”
“Eddie,” you urged, taking a step toward him. As your hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped, lurching away from you. “Anyone would have ran. That doesn’t make you a coward. If I watched someone get plastered to the ceiling and their limbs started snapping I would run. You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
“What credit? You think Harrington would have run? Hell, you think Henderson would have? No. Harrington got pulled into the lake by those damn vines and Wheeler and Buckley dove right in after him. No hesitation. They put their lives on the line because he needed help. And Henderson? He jumped through that gate, hurting himself, to come and find me. He didn't think twice about those bats. He just came to save the day.”
“And according to him, you cut those sheets and raced out to distract the bats so the others could end Vecna. Eddie, how can you not see that’s the same damn thing? You risked your life, you almost died, to protect all of them! This town couldn’t be more wrong about you.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not…I’m not good, okay?”
“No. You’re perfect.”
“Goddamn it! No I’m not! I told you when this whole thing started that being with me was a mistake. I tried to be a dick so you’d stay away from me. I fought it because you…you’re too good. You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re sweet. You’re a fucking teacher. You are a blindingly bright light and I am the darkness that will drag you down. You don’t deserve this shit.”
“This isn’t a mistake! Stop saying it’s a mistake!”
“Why?” He spun, chest heaving, soft brown eyes as dark as a moonless sky. “It is and the sooner you see that, the better off you'll be. Hell, the better off I’ll be. Because one day, maybe not today, maybe not next week. Hell, maybe not even next month, but one day, you are going to look around and realize that this was one giant fucking mistake in your life. That I am a mistake and then you’ll leave and it will be what’s best for you. I won’t even be able to be mad at you but I…”
“You’ll what?”
Eddie closed his eyes and when they opened, there was the man you knew, the man you'd fallen for. Sweet chocolate brown gazed at you, like two windows into his soul, a soul that was fighting for its life right now between what it wanted and what it thought was right.
“I’ll never recover,” he admitted softly. “There won’t be any getting over you. I’ve never…I’ve never had a real relationship, princess. No one has ever wanted me like you do. No one has ever looked at me like you do.”
“And how is that?”
“Like I matter. Like I’m worth something.”
“You are worth something and you do matter. And I’m not going anywhere. Eddie, you are not a mistake. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. With you…with you, I feel things I didn’t even know were possible. You’re everything. You’re worth everything to me and you can push all you want but I am going to push right back.”
“What if I just end things?” he challenged.
“Is that what you want?”
“Sweetheart…”
“No. If you can look me in the face and tell me that you don’t want to be with me, then I will leave right now and I will never bother you again. But if you can’t…why are you fighting this so hard? I don’t care about your past. I mean, I do, but only because I want to be there for you. I want to be the one to soothe you out of your nightmares. I want to be the person you talk to when the shit in your head gets to be too much. I want to kiss every scar, ice every bruise, and clean every cut. I want to be here. I want you.”
“Why?”
It was such a simple question. One syllable, three letters, but the answer was anything but. Three words, eight letters…but the weight behind them was so heavy. The potential for how wrong everything could go if you said them was a train bearing down on you, you standing on the tracks, watching it come, waiting for the impact that would crush you.
But you had to say it. You had to make him see how much he meant to you. So, you braced yourself for collision. Your eyes squeezed shut as if you could keep it from happening if you just couldn’t see it.
“Because I love you.”
Silence. You stood, eyes closed, a boulder the size of a house sitting in your stomach. Was he going to laugh at you? Say how could you even say that when it hadn’t been that long? That you were just starting to date, to get to know each other? Would he tell you to get out?
Then large hands, metal rings cool against your flushed cheeks, cradled your face gently between them. Your eyes fluttered open to find Eddie looking down at you, his swollen lips curved up slightly on the side into the softest smile, those pools of chocolate melting right down, slipping between all the crevices within you. His head tilted forward, soft ends of his waves tickling the curve of your cheek.
“Say that again,” he implored, fingers wrapping around your jaw, thumb coasting over your bottom lip.
You swallowed down the fear that had risen up at your declaration, whispering, “I love you. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s too soon. I probably sound insane and I am not trying to scare you and I don’t expect you to say it back. I just…I realized it yesterday. I mean, I think I knew before that but I ignored it because…totally insane, right?”
“Prom Queen.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Hands wrapped around your hips as his lips slammed into yours just before he pulled back, hissing, covering his mouth and yelling, “Son of a bitch!”
“Your lip!” you shrieked, fingers prying his hand away to reveal his lips bleeding fresh, the skin split anew.
“It’s fine. It’s fine,” he grumbled.
“No, it’s not. Here. Hang on.”
You walked over to the small kitchen, opening drawers until you found one that had a few kitchen towels. Pulling one out, you ran it under the cold water in the sink for a bit before carrying the blue checked cloth back to Eddie.
“Let me see,” you commanded.
“I said it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. Stop being so damn stubborn for one minute and just let somebody help you,” you huffed, stepping in front of him. You brushed his hair back from his face, gently applying the cold, wet cotton to the spot on his lip. Blood was running, a little red river, down over his chin. Using the dry part of the towel, you dabbed that off before it ruined his white shirt. “There. Is that better?”
Eddie’s eyes rolled upwards as he nodded, “Yeah.”
“See? You know, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a little help every now and then. Especially when you have people who want to help.”
“It’s not that. I just…ugh!” Eddie huffed, taking the towel from you. Holding it to his lip with one hand, he took your hand in the other, leading you over to the couch. He sat, tugging you down with him.
“What?”
“We had this really important moment and I fucking ruined it with my stupid lip. I just wanted to…look, I’m not great with words but I make up for it with my hands.”
A shiver raced along your spine because he was not lying. That man could write sonnets with his hands, he could write epic tales with his fingers, and compose complete novels with that mouth. An endless adventure that had you craving more, turning page after page until the sun rose because you just needed what happened next.
“I wanted to show you…you know? How I feel?”
Your body twisted toward him, arm resting along the back of the couch, head tilted in interest. You'd confessed that you were in love with him and no, he didn’t have to say it back. The only thing worse than him not feeling the same way you did was for him to lie and pretend he did. But you couldn’t help the desire burning within you to know exactly how he did feel about you.
“I’m listening.”
“I…well, you know, you’re…I mean, I’ve never…” He groaned, head rocking back against the couch, free hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never had…no one’s ever looked at me like you do. I’ve hooked up with plenty of girls but it never meant anything, you know? I was just getting my dick wet and…fuck, why is this so hard? Why am I saying that to you? Jesus H. Christ.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” you assured him, fingers dancing over the back of the couch, slipping along his shoulder to his neck, your palm pressing against the side of it. No, you absolutely did not want to hear about Eddie getting his dick wet with anyone but you also knew talking openly about how he felt was foreign to him. So, you weren't going to comment on that, to give him any reason to shut down on you. “You’re doing fine, baby. It’s just me and you.”
“I know. I don’t know why it’s so hard to just say the fucking words but I’ve never said them to anybody who wasn’t my uncle or Henderson, but I mean I thought I was dying. Not that I don’t love the little shrimp but it’s just not something I throw around. It’s never gotten me anywhere, you know? My dad never said that shit. Men don’t get all emotional. And my mom, she did but then she was gone and…it should be easy. They’re just words, right? But they’re not just words. Those words are everything and once you say them there is no taking them back. And if you say them and everything goes to shit, then it sucks so much more. That’s why it was always easy because I never felt that for any girl I was with. Even some of the girls that lasted a few weeks. Never and now it feels fucking impossible to just tell you and I want to tell you. I want you to know.”
“Eddie…” you said softly, your heart bouncing around in your chest like a pinball machine. Could he mean what you thought he meant? Did you dare allow yourself to believe it?
His body rocketed forward as he sat up, tossing down the dish towel, his hands grabbing onto your face. He held onto you as if you were going to disappear, turning to dust in his fingers, as if you were a balloon that he was desperate to keep from floating away into the clouds.
“I feel like that too,” he whispered, his words urgent. “I…you know, that thing you said. Me too. I mean, you’re right. It’s nuts. We’ve only known each other for a handful of weeks and yes, I just knew. I knew it was you. I knew that this wasn’t just some way to get my rocks off for a bit. This wasn’t some girl who just wanted a taste of the dark side for a few weeks. But I have nothing to compare it to because I’ve never felt this. I wasn’t married. Hell, I haven't had a relationship last for longer than two months. So, is it that crazy?”
“Is what crazy?” you urged, knowing it was hard for him but needing him to say it. You needed those words like you needed your next breath. You needed to know if you were in this alone, if you were insane for feeling the way you did, or if he felt it too.
“Me…you know…”
“I don’t know.”
Eddie groaned, his forehead dropping to rest against yours, fingers slipping into your hair, cradling the back of your head. Your eyes slipped closed, breathing him in, swearing you could hear the sound of his heart beating in time with your own, thunderous and purposeful, like a herd of horses racing down the beach.
“Damn it, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”
“I need to hear the words, Eddie,” you pleaded, fingers grabbing the white cotton of his shirt, twisting it. “If you really feel it, I need to hear it. I promise you, you’re safe with me.”
“But what if you decide to go? What if you realize, like everyone else in this town, that I’m not worth it? That you could do better? What if you don’t have the energy to deal with what’s broken inside of me? I’m exhausting, sweetheart. Even my friends will tell you that.”
“Eddie, I am not going anywhere.” Your lips pressed against the side of his mouth, tender, careful not to touch his freshly split lip. “I could never do better than you because, I think, the reason I fell for you so hard, so fast, is because something in me recognized you. It recognized that you were the thing it was missing. Eddie, I have never felt with Cam even a fraction of the things I feel when I’m with you.”
“Well, we already established that he sucks in the sack.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” you chuckled, one hand slipping underneath his shirt, resting over his heart. “I’m talking in here. My heart somehow knew you. It sounds nuts. I know. But something in you made my heart go, there he is. That’s the one we’ve been waiting for. You’re not getting rid of me. I already told you, you can push all you want but I am going to push right back even harder. I’ll knock you on your ass if I have to.”
His nose traced over yours, over your cheekbone, until his lips were resting right neck to your ear, “I love you. Fuck, I am so in love with you and it scares the shit out of me.”
One hand still pressed to his chest, the other cradled his cheek, your insides going warm when he turned and nuzzled into it. You leaned into him, lips pressing gentle kisses to every inch of skin that wasn’t bruised or split open. You felt as his heartbeat slowed, the tension slowly easing from his body, relaxing under your touch.
“Don’t be scared of me,” you breathed, your cheek rubbing against his and then he was cradling your arm, bringing your wrist to his mouth, his lips pressing lightly against it.
“I’m not scared of you,” murmured Eddie, lips moving over your forearm, along your bicep, featherlight ticklish kisses, as much pressure as his mouth could handle. “I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of not being the kind of man you deserve. I’m scared of losing you, of what I would become if you left, of what I would do to keep you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” you managed, struggling when those lips reached your neck, fingers skimming over the skin just above your waistband. “I’m not scared of you. I’ve never been scared of you. I know you won’t hurt me.” Your fingers tangled in his hair, gripping it, whimpering when his tongue ran up the column of your throat. “You do deserve me. You’re more than I deserve, my real life superhero.” Your body trembled when that tongue slid up to your ear, teeth catching your earlobe. “And you’re not going to lose me. I’m yours, hopelessly and completely yours.”
“Princess, those are very dangerous words,” he growled against your ear, that hand trailing ever higher until he grazed the underside of your breast. “Because I’ve never had anything that was truly mine.”
“Well, I am,” you whimpered when his thumb ran over the hardened peak of your nipple.
Eddie leaned forward, his body pressing into you, forcing you onto your back on the couch. His hands came to either side of your head, that face, so beautiful even bruised and bloody, hovering just inches from yours. Brown eyes, dark with something dangerous and promising burned into you, setting your entire body ablaze, turning you into a pile of ash.
“You’re sure you want that?” he challenged, fingers working at the button on your shorts, hand slipping under your waistband, cupping your heat. “Because if you’re mine, I am never letting you go.” He pushed your panties to the side, two thick fingers pressing into you, your entire body clenching around him. “Fuck. If you’re mine, you’re only mine. I don’t like to share, sweetheart. Never been good at it. You are everything I never thought I could have.” Those fingers curled within you, your back arching, fighting through the haze of pleasure to focus on his words. “You’re everything that I want. You’re the first thing that has made me truly happy in…forever.” His thumb brushed over your clit and you bit down on your lip, hips rocking up to meet his hand. “I won’t give that up easily. I would burn this fucking world to the ground before I lose you.”
“Yes…fuck yes. I want that. I want you,” you groaned, each word a gasp. His words and his touch worked in tandem to send you flying toward the edge, teetering as you looked down at the vast drop before you that was inevitable.
“Thank fuck,” he rasped, “because I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. You mine, baby?”
“Yes. Yours. I’m yours…” you whined, thighs trembling, toes at the edge, rocks tumbling down, the wind pushing at your back.
“Good. That’s my girl. Now come for me, baby.”
And with those words, a softly spoken command, you tumbled over the side, plunging into the unknown. You cried out, fingers digging into the muscles of his back, your body arching into him as your orgasm took over your body. Every inch of you shook with the force of it while Eddie worked you through it.
“My beautiful girl,” he whispered, nuzzling your face gently. “Mine. My girl.”
“Yours,” you mumbled in agreement, your body ice cream that was melting into the sidewalk on a warm sunny day, incapable of rearranging itself into a formed shape again as you sunk into the couch. “I love you.”
He grinned, wide and goofy, the skin on his lip pulling. “Son of a bitch. I love hearing you say those words. Say it again.”
“I love you,” you repeated with a giggle.
“Again.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you,” you yelled.
“I love you,” he said back and then you were both grinning like the lovestruck idiots that you were.
“So, while I am happier than a fox in a henhouse to hear you two yelling how much you love each other,” came a voice from the other side of the door, “I am back and I am going to open the door in about two minutes. So, if any clothing needs putting back on, consider this fair warning so none of us got to be embarrassed about anything.”
Your eyes widened as you looked up at Eddie, both of them breaking into fits of giggles as you struggled to get your shorts back on before Uncle Wayne came barging through the door. The door opened just as you were sitting up on the couch, Eddie’s arm slung casually around your shoulder, feigning an innocence you didn’t have.
Wayne raised an eyebrow, looking at them both, “Don’t you both have homes you could be doing all the naked stuff in? I thought my days of walking in on Eddie’s bare ass were long gone.”
Eddie leaned to the side, tilting his ass toward you as he looked down at it and then back at his uncle, “My ass is fully covered, thank you.”
“Mmmhmm, and I am sure all clothing was in its proper place before I walked in.”
Eddie shrugged, “I mean…no promises but seriously. How often did you ever walk in on me and a girl?”
“You didn’t need no girl to be naked, boy. I walked in on you playing guitar in your birthday suit one time. You seemed to be allergic to clothing. That boy would strip down whenever he could. Just sitting at the kitchen table, stark nude, munching on a bowl of Honeycomb. Argued with me because he wanted to sleep naked. Not in my house, he wasn’t.”
You pressed your lips together in amusement, “Really?”
“I mean, look, sometimes it’s just nice to feel a breeze down there, you know? The Scottish have the right idea with those kilts. Little Eddie doesn’t like confinement. It’s like girls with bras.”
“I don’t think you can compare a bra with basic pants and underwear,” you teased.
“So, I am assuming, based on what I heard and what I can surmise happened in here, that this girl was able to talk some sense into you?”
“She might have,” Eddie smirked. “She’s a bit stubborn like that.”
Wayne scoffed, “Hmm. Well, then you are two peas in a pod. Ain’t nobody more stubborn than you.”
“Oh come off it, old man. Says the guy who refuses to go to the doctor for anything.”
“I don’t need to pay some quack for the common cold.”
“It was pneumonia!” Eddie argued.
“Whatever. Now, don’t you two have a house you could choose that isn’t mine? Not that I don’t appreciate the visit but I would be mighty grateful for my chair and some quiet time to watch my programs. It’s Saturday night, you know.”
“Oh shit. We’re interrupting his Walker, Texas Ranger. That’s a sin in this place.”
You grinned, “Sorry Wayne. We’ll get out of your hair, okay?”
“What hair?” snorted Eddie.
“Boy, you ain’t too old for me to put across my knee,” warned Wayne. “Don’t you be insulting my hair just because you have a beehive on that head.”
Eddie gasped, his hands coming up to his dark locks, “Beehive? This is no beehive. This is a majestic mane that deserves respect.”
You snorted, earning an offended glare from Eddie. Laughing, you took his hand in yours, “Enjoy your show, Wayne.”
“Thank you.”
As they headed out of the trailer, you asked, “Your place or mine?”
“I don’t care as long as you’re there with me.”
And your heart fluttered because you felt the same exact way. You didn’t care where you were as long as this man was next to you.
Chapter 24
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