#or am i just overthinking this like usual

[dyne-osaur]

might be rambling this might mean nothing but omg has anyone thought about how a huge thing™ in dead boy detectives is how women were wronged ?? (and also not just women who were wronged but boys who were shitty assholes but in this essay i am focusing on how women were wronged) am i looking too much into it.. (this is prob not intentional and i am overthinking as per usual but like)

spoilers duh

also this got really long i apologize

so in episode 1 we meet crystal who is basically like the catalyst for everything happening right and this is kinda obvious but like the whole kinda happens because her toxic demon ex bf stole her memories (fuck you david) and like? that was a horrible thing to happen to her and he sucks boo >:( and also throughout the whole show she has to deal with his shittiness and whatnot

and also in episode 1 we obviously see becky aspen who is like a child (specifically a little girl) who was kidnapped by esther (who also only goes after girls like hello?) and about to be fed to her giant snake which like ?? hey now,,, and they have to go in and save her and i feel like it's kinda important esp with the last episode ("she killed hundreds of little girls to stay young; who gets justice for them?" or smth) like it's built on the backbone of women who were wronged

in episode 2 with the dandelion sprites we have niko who lost her dad and her mom wants her to just be better and the sprites literally like infected(?) her while she was trying to feel better or smth (prob a bit of a stretch ngl) so we don't rly see much of this in episode 2

in episode 3 the most obvious thing of all is that the devlin guy murdered his entire family (his wife and two daughters) because he was a bitch and hated that they wanted to leave him which like ?? okay fragile male ego (as crystal so eloquently puts it) like these girls felt haunted by him in life and even in death they were stuck in a loop getting killed by him over and over and over because of his fear they would leave them. he was controlling and abusive and a creep and in the end he killed them. (obviously this episode has other important themes like how charles' trauma is reflected in this and his emotional response to devlin and the horror of controlling/abusive family members but i feel like there's smth to be said with how women keep getting wronged in this show idk)

in episode 4 we get crystal who is still dealing with the effects of her lost memories and her desperation to find her mom (we all know how that turned out) and importantly we get the stuff in the gift shop (specifically lillith and ig the washer woman)

the washer woman is washing away the blood of humanity yadda yadda (she's a rly interesting character i love her) and like when she and crystal are left alone crystal is desperately trying to find how she can have her lost memories and past back and the washer woman gives her that riddle to help her smth smth (basically crystal's memories)

lillith is more introduced here as the goddess of wronged women (and blood magic) (this is self-explanatory i hope)

in episode 5 (this one i feel is also obvious) we get those charming-but-actually-really-shitty jocks who died because maren (brad's gf) murdered them because they were being really horrible. we get shelby who killed herself because they drugged her and ruined her entire life and her future and everything and even in death the boys (though i love them, this was a fault of theirs) were skeptical because the jocks were just so charming

and then we get maren who invites crystal over because of her fear that she would get caught when she was trying to protect herself and she made a(n albeit huge) mistake. brad sent her nudes to his bff richie and they never thought they were in the wrong like hello? i was like wtf but anyways they practically ruined the lives of these girls (maybe not maren because they never fully got out but they could've and either way she ended up turning herself in from her guilt and stuff)

(also note: crystal says "we all lost our lives to boys who went too far" and like.. a big thing™ from my perspective is also how men/boys go too far e.g. the schoolboys (edwin and charlies) and david (crystal) and also the jocks and devlin and later esther's husband and arguably the cat king (don't come at me i actually love him towards the end but for more info check out this post i love their take on him) etc. there's probably more i just can't think of them atm)

in this episode we also meet maxine for like a second(?) time (first being devlin murders in ep 3) where she obviously wronged jenny by stalking her and she doesn't see what's wrong with what she did when she literally tried to murder her, she stalked her, she's apparently done this MULTIPLE times (smth ab this happening "again" which ? oml) and jenny feels horrible about this because she put herself out there for once and she got hurt. and at the end of this episode we see them all hang out and of course david comes back because crystal can't catch a break but back to the topic jenny was almost killed by maxine who did a horrible thing to her

episode 6 we finally hear tragic mick's story. sedna was literally a girl who got sacrificed by her dad because he thought it would help. she was a woman wronged out of the many women wronged on this show and she became a goddess for her trauma yay?? but at the core of that backstory was sedna who was a woman wronged by her father. (and ofc tragic mick and how he became human POOR GUY)

we also have crystal who finally has a way to get david out of her head (did anyone notice it doesn't break till she says "i just wish i could be normal" or smth which is prob kinda why she lost her powers?) all of this has been culminating since the beginning and then later he comes back and he's taunting her and yelling at her for giving up "the one thing that made you special" (come on man :|) she does get her powers back later though yippie (and sees her badass ancestors)

and jenny who is still dealing with the trauma is obviously upset throughout the episode because yk maxine was crazy

episode 7 we have the boys in hell but to keep in theme we have crystal who feels horrible that charles won't let her help and she just goes out to get david to open a gate and jenny follows. jenny then gets violated as david literally possesses her and we get kinda the climax and then the resolution of david and crystal as she realizes her power and takes her memories back and buries him because he was a horrible horrible person to her (and also the comments he made were so creepy like "i want to get back inside you" "let me back in" WHAT THE HELL no way that wasn't intentionally creepy)

and then jenny (poor jenny) has to deal with the fact that she has now been possessed and has to deal with all this creepy shit like can homegirl catch a break goddamn (and speaking of jenny we see maxine on the stairs still clueless to what she did wrong MAXINE OPEN YOUR EYES)

crystal eats her memories

episode 8 she finds out she was a horrible person and her past was not as great as she thought it would be. she treated her friends and strangers badly and she wakes up and she feels horrid. and she thinks it will get better and she calls her mom and her parents did her dirty. they neglected her (didn't even REALIZE she was MISSING) and didn't do shit for her and she probably acted out for attention (in horrible ways i am in no way defending what she did btw but she can be a horrible person and changed as a person crystal they could never make me hate you) and she swallows the rest of her memories and finds out that she was not the person she wanted to be

in episode 8 we also find out esther's backstory. the big bad of it all and i think a huge point in the story is how at the core of it all was a woman who was wronged and turned horrible for it. her husband cheated on her and she killed him but then she couldn't get enough and just wow. just to me the fact that at the core of the story is a woman who was horribly treated and as a result turned into a horrible person (and kind of parallel to crystal who was horribly treated (by her parents and by david) and she finds she can still turn things around and be good) and esther is too far gone as she yk decides to continue being evil

in episode 8, the end of it all, we see that turning point where crystal goes into esther's head and summons lillith. the goddess of wronged women. we see her as crystal yells that esther has been tormenting girls, WRONGING WOMEN, for decades (centuries?). we see the rage in lillith's face as she turns her stare on esther for skewing the gift that lillith gave to a woman scorned. we see lillith drag esther out of the house screaming and AGH i love that so much idk

but yeah those are my thoughts on the amount of women i just saw wronged and this could all mean nothing and i could be very insane and crazy but ! whatever !

#hello i'm back with a new obsession and it's dbda #dbda #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #i love them sm #crystal palace #esther finch #lillith dbda #themes question mark #the crazed ramblings of a mad man #the mad man is me #this could mean nothing #LONG text post #this is one of my current obsessions btw #these women deserved better

[baseball-mom]

Soooo I’m thinking of maybe changing my username.

I like Baseball Mom a lot but…considering how much KinnPorsche has rotted my brain vs Bad Buddy, I think a memey KinnPorsche/VegasPete name would be more on brand.

idk what do ya’ll think?

#feel free to ignore me #i’m just thinking aloud here #on one hand now would be a good time to change up my brand #but on the other hand i don’t wanna restrict myself to just kinnporsche fandom #hmmmmmmm #my name was loosely inspired by the delightful youtuber ‘phupha’s fake beard’ which makes me chuckle every time i see an update from them #i wanted a name that would make people chuckle #idk maybe i should just stick with it? ugh i’m so wishy-washy #or am i just overthinking this like usual #pointless text post

[tvlandofficiall]

future chapters' possible darkners i am thinking of them

#ooc #deltarune #trying to workshop my thoughts on em so theyre not too similar to the ones we already have orz. but #im always like. this concept could be so neat. but am i reinventing the wheel #(the answer is usually no. im just overthinking. but im skittish alas... at least i'll always have tvland tennar)

[coquelicoq]

after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.

#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA #i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol #but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be #and sent him this text #and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason #i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process #but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol) #and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it #which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this #but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me #sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time! #and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends #it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay #baby steps! working on it! #i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know #so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things #but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I love that way know almost essentially nothing about Diane's personality, and yet somehow through the small little hints that we've gotten I can completely see them being such a simple, lovey, awkward little dovey eyed couple together.

I can't believe there was ever a time when I thought Rick was actually the narcissist that he claimed that he was for the first three and a half seasons at least-he was literally just emulating the person that he was told that he should be by Prime and probably by other countless versions of himself and obviously as a defense towards the fact that all he ever wanted to be was Diane's husband, and having that taken away from him, the only thing that he had left was to emulate something that he never wanted to be to begin with.

He seems like such a dopey, simple, goofy soppy, sad sack of a man now. 💜 Compared to who he was in the first four seasons for sure, even season 5.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #kind of reminds me of all the people in this society and world that probably initially just want to do simple sweet things #like find a husband and a wife and a family but they're gradually corrupted over. of time into thinking that they need to be #a complicated famous twisted successful interesting person #and then they lose anything that was actually worth living for #I'm ridiculously overthinking and melancholic tonight #I always am but I don't usually publicize it in the Rick and Morty tag

[cha1cedony]

I love that Discord has the ability to be so cozy and close-knit, but I hate that it’s so blocked off from the rest of the internet. And you can’t lurk; you HAVE to be active (or at least active enough to get in in the first place). Ahem anyway. you should invite me to your Discord servers.

🌀 Oooooo you want to invite me to your extremely niche DnDads Discord servers so bad ooooooooooooooooooooo 🌀

…or send me an anonymous ask about my favorite uhhhhhhh? mustelid or something. Ask me for good Lieder on a specific theme.. I’ve been listening to them all day. Maybe this shouldn’t be on my fandom blog???? It has been derailed ANYWAY idk I’m just feeling antsy and rambly hi 😁 How are you HAHA

#theoretically I could make my own #however. too shy #but also #want friends #hueurggh. truly Herculean #I am in one server and I love the people in there :) shout out #😁😁❤️ #but I am simply too shy to talk most of the time #and I’m in the Patreon server but it’s TOO scary I will NEVER speak in there 😭 #my problem is that I LOVE talking over the phone and in person #I am soooo talkative. love 2 yap #but when I have to TYPE I have more time to overthink #maybe I just need to get into. other bigger fandoms (lol) that have multiple big public servers #usually I like to send long voice memos (the Chalcy Podcast….) but I feel like that’s weird to do with strangers idk #OKAY SORRY WHEW LONG RAMBLE #HI #don’t take this seriously I am just antsy and feel the Urge To Post #also my only human contact for the past semester has been choir 3x a week aaaaand occasionally dnd #🥲 might be going a lil stir crazy #I would get out more but. home cozy comfy and I can pace all I want and not pay for gas #can’t wait to have public transit when I move next semester. rural girl moves to the big city yeehaw 🤠 #chalcy stuff

[theworstcreature]

“Don’t overthink it one day at a time kid add up the days you got someone to do life with”

“Don’t overthink it it’s not fuckin science add up the days you got someone to do life with”

“Love isn’t big kid it’s little and quiet”

I think about these particular lines so damn much I’m so glad that song exists

#like sometimes my brain will take little snips of a line #like you’ll catch me falling ass over monkey into the pit of despair and overthinking and awfulness #and then I’ll just hear “don’t overthink it it’s not fuckin science’ just like repeating in the back of my head #and this usually makes me realize that yeah #what the fuck am I over-analyzing this one particular thing or thought #why am I making my own hypothesis about others or myself #it’s NOT fucking science #(unless ofc it overthinking about something relating to science like how i have so many misssing assignments in that class and-) #yeah then it’s not terribly helpful #I get that isn’t what the songs about like at all #but hey man if it stops the stupid ass speeding train that is my brain then who am I to complain

[focsle]

The one unfortunate thing about GTW being inked digitally instead of traditionally is....traditional hatching was really one of the best insomnia solutions I had.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just pencil up an 'in case of insomnia' piece. But the premeditated element of that seems like it'd just trigger insomnia. It was nicer when it was cos I had a behemoth project that I could keep working on but would also put me to sleep.

#my sleep problems aren't as bad as they used to be #but I do still have moments...usually if I'm not asleep by 2am it doesnt matter what I do I won't sleep until morning #and my insomnia is annoying too because it's not like...I'm overthinking or stressed or whatever #I JUST LAY THERE LIKE A CORPSE....HEAD EMPTY....and just don't sleep #all this to say I am really staggering about today and thinking about how I'm gonna last another 6 hours #also do not give me insomnia advice lol...whatever you're gonna say I tried it #lorazepam is what works but that is something I prefer to avoid if at all possible...and I don't have a scrip for it anymore ne way

[steelthroat]

Heart-warming: Local pansexual makes the first move regardless of the fact they were almost having a panic attack from just being approached by the subject of their interests after 3 years of reciprocally languid staring contests on the bus.

#this is one of those situations in which I don't care if something even comes out of it #I needed this moment for character development #it's like my small version of the landing on the moon #an imperceptible step for humanity #a step so massive for me I almost stumbled and fell face on the ground #no wait now I'm being unfair to myself #I usually am the one to make the first step in all my relationships #it's just that I overthink it so much that if it's a miracle if I don't short-circuit before doing so #I do brave actions but I am a scaredy cat ya know #steel rambles #shitpost #btw for the queer people following me #signaling is useful #wear those pins or rainbow bracelets if you're out or in a safe situation #it's a game changer really

[pawbeanies]

one of my lovely friends sent me a really nsfw dogboy type shitpost and while i go "oh im puppyyy" around them i didnt think they'd do that . and now i am like .. am i........ obvious..? am i that obvious..???

#i hope they see me as oupy.. we make jokes abt me being a litle pupy dogboy but like. jumpscare.! #i cant tell. what the goal was here ... am i... missing something integral... #like perhaps it was just to be silly and send me smth funny but #it was a post talking like oh noo dont let him sit on your lap and rut on u like a dog oh nooo! which . is funny silley but..? #persnaps i am overthinking... as per usual

[ohnoitsdevoo]

i love to draw ocs during school while having a shit ass day. makes me feel good. but???? im still having a shit ass day and i still feel bad????? jot like. "oh i did something now i feel bad" like "oh i feel terrible physically and mentally and im scared whats gonna happen next"

venting in tags a little bit kind of ihhuuh

#kinda vent #oscar vents?????? #oscar draws something #oscar says shit #i sure just did that! #woo! #school is RUUIIINNGGIJNG me #ive had more bad days at school than usual #like its happening daily now #and im overthinking too much #aandd idk hwat to do #i have not seen my therapist in over a month and i dont wanna get a new one and i wanna cry and everythign is going BASdddlyyyy #BUT DRAWING helps #i kinda feel a little bettwr i guess #but uhhhh #yeaaahhhh im having a shit ass day. #my house isnt my comfort place #i dont HAVR a comfort place dude #i am too scared to go home bc i feel like my moms gonna yell at me and stuff and im gonna end up crying and im SO ANXIOUS #i dont like venting really #because i feel like it will trigger and scare peop.le #so i dont vent to people often when i need to #yk? #venting makes me feel guilty #but it makes me feel something else #i dont know what elsee #but i hope i didnt like. #scare any of u #or trigger anybody #im done venting BYE!

[daybreakrising]

i am always too anxious to like shipping calls but just know that i am always down to ship

#;forever yelling into the abyss (ooc) #( usual rules re: discussion and chemistry apply ofc ) #( i'm just here like: i don't want to assume / put pressure on people ) #( like kaveh i am a chronic overthinker )

[blujayonthewing]

🕸🕷

#spider #spiders #spider web #figured I'd post the finished pic on its own without the process shots :D #also I measured it this year and the capture spiral is just about six feet in diameter #I really like this year's but I think what it needs in the future is that less dense spiral zone in the center where the spider usually sit #I mean it also needs A SPIDER but in theory I could still get around to doing that this year #I just overthink it I get too caught up in 'how can I make the legs posable' and 'how am I gonna attach the feet to the web lines' #like... it doesn't have to be a lifelike scale model it doesn't NEED to attach BY its feet but also I WANT IT TO weh #about me #me #spiderweb

[possum-tooth]

scared to go to training again today

#i just dont think im cut out to be a server!!!!! im better if people approach me!! not me approaching them!! #like all of the jobs ive had in food service have been customers come to me to place their order. i dont know if i can be a server :( #idk. im overthinking it like usual but. still Scared :(( #at least i have a paper pad to write on now bc no way in Hell am i just using receipt paper to write shit down. its just annoying #anyway. scared. #talk tag

[thecataclyzm]

an interesting issue is occurring. I have discovered that I have strong yet unnameable connection towards a specific character, my soul as to speak feels as if this specific character is trying to speak to me, but not in the traditional system way. (As host, there is a specific way us members find and sense new arrivals, this… is much different.)

This complication goes beyond my current mortal understanding and i most desperately want to find out the cause behind this. Weither this is a soulbonding thing or if we’re becoming a gateway system is out of my knowledge, and as far as I am aware, I am the only being here who feels this feeling.

If anyone has any suggestions or such to give me, feel free.

#chaoticanomaly✨ #plurality #actually plural #plural system #plural community #As a side message’ I will say the the sensation is like someone is trying to communicate with me #Through emotions and vague concepts #all through my soul (or whst I believe is my soul) #Just yesterday I attempted to push through emotions in the ‘direction’ of the flow of emotions #And silence followed afterward #The sensation only becomes noticeable whenever I think of the character usually in a positive light #There may be a chance that I’m overthinking this and this is merely a weird mortal thing. #But until that is proven I will be searching knowledge like the true eldritch silly I am #A Reblog update should be expected eventually #AnomalicRambles

[catchmewjsn]

.

#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least #this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of #place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone #hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always #called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know #i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a #nightmare to make this work now #and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not #at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector #today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first #and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕 #walking isnt the best best for me tbh #also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same #time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔 #i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am... #anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again #anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon