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cat-mentality · 6 months

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Sad QSMP headcannons that have like half a toenail in canon.

The French version:

Baghera cries very silently, like someone who is used to having to keep quiet.

She also has a very high pain tolerance and she didn't understand why until recently.

When Pomme disappeared Baghera was terrified that the Federation had something to do with that, terrified that her little girl would be at the hands of the people who made her and hurt her so badly.

As much as she wants to hate the Federation for having hurt her, at the same time she can't and that makes everything so much worse.

Baghera doesn't have wings. But she does have two scars on her back where no feathers have ever grown.

Antoine was not prepared to actually get attached to any of the French, or even to Pomme. He knows he is in too deep, has too much to lose if he cuts ties with the Federation, and yet it twists something inside of him when he thinks about their possible reactions, especially Etoiles. For the first time in a very long existence he understands what friendship is, knows what it feels like instead of just watching others experience it, and is very aware that he will lose it all.

That is why Antoine was so pissed off at Osito for being careless with the picture, the earlier they discover about his true past, the earlier he will lose them.

If the Federation truly had Pomme he would have burned it all down himself just to bring her back.

The first time Cucurucho saw Antoine angry was after the torture session nearly killed Pierre for good. No one knows who was more shocked by his display, Cucurucho or Antoine himself.

Pierre continues to trouble sleeping and constant nightmares when he does, he can't remember the last time he managed to truly rest without waking up in a cold sweat or screaming, he is always on the verge of passing out and even when he does crash he still has nightmares.

He refuses to acknowledge it or even talk about it, hides his exhaustion with everything he has, pushes people away just to make sure they wouldn't realize there is something wrong, too afraid they will see a weakness to be exploited.

Pierre hates being alone as much as he craves it- He likes being by himself working on his machines and keeping his secrets close to his chest, but at the same time when he is alone is when the dark thoughts take over

He will, on occasion, not exactly seek to get himself hurt but not exactly avoid it either- If he can feel pain it means that there is something human in him doesn't it?

But Pierre hates dying and he will avoid and lash out when put into such a situation. He fears what will wake up, if it will still be him.

Sometimes Kameto look at the rest of the Islanders and he wonders what his own life could have been, what sort of bonds he could have forged with people, if the Federation didn't come for him first.

Etoiles does not know what his worth is if not as a warrior.

He is not smart like the others, he doesn't build pretty buildings or incredible machines, he doesn't know how to do anything but fight. And if he can't fight, if he can't protect the people he cares about, then why is he still around?

War is everything Etoiles really knows. By the time he reached his late teens and was released from the battlefield he had seen more combat than some people in their old age, everything he knew how to do was to fight, he had nowhere to go, knew no one, had nothing.

He was never able to settle down for too long or even to truly build himself a home, Etoiles knew so very little about the world that he just decided he would explore it. Some people in the army talked about things they missed, things they thought worth fighting for, and Etoiles wanted to understand that feeling of fighting for anything but his own survival.

To this day he still feel more comfortable fighting than he ever does doing anything else.

None of them ever had families.

The concept of family was something Antoine learned by watching other species and for a very long time it was not something he truly understood or could relate. It was only after the plane crash and Pomme that it hit him that maybe he can understand this thing now.

Baghera always thought she was just an orphan with amnesia. She had very little memories of her young years and none of them involved other people, just her and a room, so for a long time she believed she was alone in the world. Even now she struggles with that emptiness, especially now that she knows that the Federation may be the closest thing to family that she will ever have.

Etoiles had parents once. He knows he did, but he cannot remember their faces or even their voices most of the time. He was still just a small child when they came for him and sent him to war.

Pierre was always alone. He had parents but they could as well be ghosts haunting their home, he hardly could see glimpses of them from time to time, all he ever truly had were his machines.

#enough happiness it's sad bitch o'clock #im just here to bring the mood down and peace out #qsmp #qsmp headcanons #qsmp baghera #qsmp etoiles #qsmp antoine #qsmp aypierre #i hate all of those people and their fucking depressing lores #i hope they get hugs and hot cocoa #im just dumping my thoughts out because i need to focus on other things #i may do one of those for the others but idk yet #i have like 50 hc for one character and like 0 for others lmao #and i feel genuinely bad for not including everyone #so fuck me i guess

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cursedpinterest · 6 months

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#thanks for bringing down the mood #comments #image

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ughgoaway · 2 months

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you're just a stranger I know everything about.

Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)

a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?

word count; 3.5k ish

(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)

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The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain.

“Hey y/n, long time no talk.

I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did.

Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please.

Give an old man his birthday wish?

See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.

Matty x”

You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.

But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.

And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.

You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.

So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget.

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As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around.

Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.

People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.

You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.

"How's work?"

"How have you been?"

"you seen any good films lately?"

but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.

why the fuck were you here?

Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.

You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.

But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.

However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together.

The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.

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“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.

Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.

It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.

His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features.

He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.

His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.

You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.

“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.

“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.

“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said.

He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?

Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.

“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.

“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.

Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.

You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember.

“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.

“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down.

“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet.

Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.

Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.

So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.

He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?

“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face.

Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.

A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”

Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.

“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.

“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.

“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.

After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”

Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.

And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.

In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.

If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.

But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.

“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?

Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.

“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.

“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.

“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.

"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.

“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.

“I won't” matty says, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return.

Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.

"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts.

Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.

Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.

Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.

#starting off the celebration strong #by bringing the mood down #my fav activity #sorry if this is bad! angst is fun but HARD #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy angst #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 angst #teacher au!#Matty35

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what-even-is-thiss · 2 months

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#bad news that brings your whole week down kinda day #the kind of bad news you can’t bring up or else it’ll ruin everyone else’s mood kinda news #but I feel like I need to tell someone or it’s gonna tear me apart #my grandma is in the hospital and we don’t know how serious it is yet #it could be an easy fix or it could be bad we just don’t know #the waiting is the worst part when someone’s in the hospital #it always floors me #makes it hard to do anything #I’m praying it’s a fixable problem but we just don’t know yet #and I’m half a continent away so I can’t do anything #I just have to wait and I hate the waiting #I haven’t told any of my friends or classmates yet because I don’t wanna bring the whole room down #but it’s hard waiting for answers #it’s really hard #anyways sorry for rambling at you guys about my personal problems #I just needed to tell someone

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catboygretzky · 5 months

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My kids still in his "everything my dad does is amazing" phase and I acknowledge that but damn if a six year old coming up to me as I'm warming up leftovers and saying "DADDY YOU'RE THE BEST AND CUTUEST RICE WARMER UPPER EVER 😁" doesn't warm my heart like yeah!!! You're right!!!!! Who warms up rice as good as me????? NO ONE

#he loves me so much #this boys heart is so big #not to bring down the mood but how the fuck could someone abandon this glowing little brave boy #anyway #my crown jule

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skunkes · 6 months

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the unhealthy dynamic

#smunker's unwillingness to ever give up on somebody/unwillingness to Leave First vs #talon's severe hot and cold moods where he's good for a few days then #brings smunker to tears another day and then the next day its like nothing happened because talon #struggles to apologize and decides to make up for it with nice actions instead...before it happens all over again #oc text #a doodley #some days it'll be fine and talon will wish he could get to the level smunker is with small optimism in the face of everything #the next he'll be getting angry at smunker for being too excited about something #ive mentioned this before but he has issues with seeing skunker as ''me if i was Better/if it had Gone Better''#+ sometimes he gets jealous + just wants to drag him back down to Anguish

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yet-another-haven-of-dollya · 7 months

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Window shopping with my sister. She suddenly turned and showed me a cute four-petals flower ring and said:

"This must be a ring R-boy (how she often calls Robin) would give to your OC eh?"

The ring:

Lol.

Of course I bought the ring

#She's the one “helikopter helikopter” not me #i admit I draw Lya and Robin too everyday even my sister understands their dynamic almost as good as myself #she often brings me lemon-themed decoration and said this should suits R-boy #she's sweet #especially when she sees me down in the mood like this #*sigh* if only she can always be sweet like this

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ranpd · 2 months

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attention pleasepleaspleaseplease

#onyx.txt #fia almost revealed #smth ab me like last week while regressed and they told me later cus they felt bad even tho they didnt and i briefly considered using the #power i have for more evil things than bringing our mood down and splitting

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canisalbus · 1 year

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If you're still taking Machete asks, what if your favorite relationship (of any kind) to explore with him?

Do you mean, like, theme? CW mental health talk:

Honestly, I think he's sort of a manifestation and a surrogate sufferer of a bunch of mental health troubles I'm very familiar with. Stuff like depression, anxiety, isolation, anhedonia, repressed anger, hopelessness, inferiority complex and so on. Not to sound too bleak or anything but you know. Back in the old deviantart days all of us edgy kids had "vent ocs", I think he still counts as one despite having an extensive backstory and a life outside of getting mangled in various ways.

I'd like to think many of my characters represent different parts of my personality and interests and Machete definitely falls to the "vessel for negativity" end of the spectrum. Then again, during the past few years I think I might've pigeonholed him into that role a little too heavily, you only ever see him looking 1. vaguely unhappy or 2. thoroughly miserable , and I know he has a little more range and depth than that, I've just kind of failed to communicate it.

#answered #anonymous #sorry every time I get asked about his contexts and meanings I end up bringing the mood down #just spilling the sadness spaghetti everywhere

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enden-k · 1 year

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You’re cursed prince Kaveh wearing mourning flowers in his hair is so,,,, so,,,, so,,,,,

Like. He’s always displaying how much time he has left. Constantly. It almost feels like a Warning for those around him to not get attached.

yes 💔

#and probably the only time al haitham closes his eyes and ignores it despite knowing better #the first time he feels attracted and fascinated by someone and that someone is in the process of losing himself-#his existence about to vanish as if he never was there to begin with #haitham doesnt let the flowers disturb him but the first time he notices them wilting a bit more #he spends a long while pondering about a stronger spell to hold back the curse #while kaveh doesnt want to burden his friends or bring down the mood. smiling even though hes the one in pain #never losing his shine despite the curse trying to stifle his light #and hoping it reaches his friends too; not mourning the time passed but using the time he has left #idk if i make sense ahjf i shall sleep now #reply #fantasy au

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 9 months

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Comte Drama CD Translations, Track Four: A Gentlemanly Escort

Once again folks, I am not a professional don't try this at home, these are just my rough transcriptions of each track in the CD because I need fodder for my simping. More beneath the cut, since most of these are pretty long, don't wanna clog anyone's dash:

So after Comte and MC go shopping for a dress, they leave for the party they're attending that night. This track begins with their arrival to the venue.

Every time we arrive at a ball together, it makes me remember when we stepped into your debutante side by side. There’s no need to thank me. …You were the one who dared to enter a new world, and that boldness attracted the people around you. All I did was lend a helping hand. …But I did enjoy decorating you with my own hands, styling your hair beautifully. The excitement I felt that night is still fresh in my heart… I was a little jealous when the eyes of the men all around you would linger, my dear. Come a little closer, I’d like to ward off their gazes. It’s best to show that you belong to me like this.

The way I went from awwww to clutches pearls lustfully 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 he is just the perfect mix of "that's adorable" and "oh. i like that--"

It’s time to dance. (When you listen to the audio he literally says: "HO? DANCE TIME" I'M DYING) My lady (OJOU-SAN!!!!!!), would you do me the honor of your hand…and join me for this dance? Come now, surrender yourself to an exciting and sweet night Beneath a dazzling chandelier, hands enfolded like this… Tucking our hips together, eyes on each other, stepping to the rhythm of the music, …my heart is always racing at times like these. (AWWWWWWWW)

I swear this man invented romance, what a smooth criminal. Although I can't lie, I love when he's charming 🥰 (I just love his honest self even more!)

Now, listen carefully to the waltz triplet/triple time… Un, deux, trois, un, deux, trois…on the first turn, turn right Yes…you executed that turn beautifully You seemed a lot more relaxed, spine straight. You did just as I taught you. Since we’re on the topic of dancing, men’s roles are often compared to frames. As a pair, they’re termed the Flower and the Frame The insinuation is that a man must lead a woman, who is the “flower” in order to make her movements shine as brightly as possible. So right now…my mission is to make you bloom the most beautifully on this dance floor. …I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You shine more beautifully than anyone else.

I love this bit just because I was like "lore. IS THAT LORE???? WOOOOOO GIMME THE L O R E" but also incredibly interesting when it comes to gender roles and Comte. Only because a lot of his content manifests at this fascinating crossroads: he's been raised under these sorts of conventions so, on some level, he acts on them without thinking. He also lives under the current impression that that's what people expect from him in the present to gain their approval. Yet, how he actually conceives of a significant other and how he is in private make for a disconnect by comparison.

(If I'm not being perceived, do I exist? Is honestly the uncharted territory that's saturated with so much intrigue for me when it comes to Comte)

Because when he feels comfortable being himself in more private settings/moments he calls MC his "life partner" (and is very adamant about regarding her in equal terms), and he tends to be the more relationally/socially/emotionally savvy of the two (which are qualities often relegated to women). I think I particularly enjoy the way he tries so hard to cultivate a working image of "a proper man" because he's just so accustomed to it for survival; he's doing it on a level of awareness and unawareness, all while believing something entirely different. It makes for such a vivid character study, a very realistic intersection of lived experiences and unspoken feelings.

Also. "You shine more beautifully than anyone else." stares into the distance with so many feelings. I just have such a fondness for the way he can be so silly and so smooth, but in the depths of his heart he's so truly in love. tackles him

Oh, the next turn is a bit tricky, so be careful. I’ll give you the signal…un, deux, trois, now, to the left… Yes, that’s it~ (HE’S HAVING FUN SOBS) My goodness…have you gotten so good at dancing I can hardly recognize you? Compared to when we first started, you don’t look away shyly as much as you used to. Every time I dance with you, I can see how much you improve Ah…I’m sure we’ve practiced quite a bit at home, but more than that, it’s the result of your endless effort.

I thought it was cute to see some of MC's growth here c: he's sweet to compliment her~

I would be honored…if you were trying to get better for the sake of dancing with me. I really enjoy dancing with you, too. When you’re in my arms, it makes my heart flutter to see you moving as smoothly as a bird flapping its wings. And every time our eyes meet, my heart tightens so sweetly in my chest. …None of my childhood tutors ever told me that dancing with someone else could feel this way. (HE SEEMS????? SO GENUINELY CONFUSED?????? TEARS IN MY EYES BABY NO) You’re the one who taught me the most important part about dancing Thank you

Aight but this was the part that hit me straight in the kokoro. So many things here I want to touch on (other than him ofc)

The way he seems so...genuinely, almost demure? In that first line? So 👉👈 about her trying to keep pace with him, trying to meet him halfway. It's even sweeter to me considering it's something that he really enjoys, so the idea that MC would want to learn because she wants to share it with him and make it more fun for him is so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (personally I love dancing so this is a hard mood). Ig I'm so softe for how he's like 'not that that has to be the reason, but if it was I would be so happy.' (of course it's for you king, everything I do is for you because you're the sweetest 😚💜💜💜💜💜💜💜)

The way?????? He describes her enjoying herself??????? I. I'm not really sure if it's something specific to me, but I found it really moving. I don't know if it's the fact that he appreciates how much effort she puts into things, or this implicit like...recognition of her as her own person?? It's a little funny, it's going back to that contradictory idea I mentioned a bit ago. He's operating within the conceptualization of "the Flower and the Frame" but he's taken the conventional meaning and expanded/changed it, in a way. While he does recognize his role in it, part of it is operating more in line with the real parts of his personality: he thinks people who are talented and try hard at things are beautiful, and he likes to support them however he can. (There is an implication here that he assumes he's not special in quite the same way which makes me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pls Comte, I think a considerate and mindful person is just as wonderful)

And then that last part. Like. Do you ever just want to stick your head into a volcano because that's where I'm at ladies and gentlemen. The absolute heartache????? The agony inside me, the way he seems so earnestly surprised that one of the few things he did enjoy could feel even better, that it could take on an entirely new meaning. That, where it was once a way to pass the time or entertain people, now it has become something charged with so much love. The way a relationship is being deeply in tune with someone, and how dancing together can bring out the full potential/another permutation of that building synergy. The way, for lack of better phrasing, he falls in love with her a little more each time they dance together. (JUST BURY ME IN THE BACKYARD AIN'T NOBODY GONNA LOVE ME LIKE THIS)

The little sincere "thank you" at the end, the very real gratitude to be able to experience that. That she would gift him that. GOD I AM SO UNWELL, RICH BOY STOP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!! "A heart is a heavy burden" ass mf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm sorry I'm just that meme where I'm carrying him away from all those purebloods/aristocrats that make him feel like life is just one elongated and tiresome performance. Let me love him Crybird I'm fragile

…that went by so quickly. (IM YELLING HE’S SAD ITS OVER) Dancing with you is so much fun I find time just gets away from me all together. Well, let’s take to the floor again later and enjoy a little break for now. Are you thirsty? …Then I’ll get us some champagne, so please wait here. ---

And now we interrupt Minnie's sappy pining with a champagne break, we'll be back shortly.

Although man, he's like a little kid when he gets to dance--it's so cute??? The way he gets so excited, the way he's so clearly sad it's over despite this probably being like the hundredth time.

The implications. How he mentions that an eternity seems insurmountably long (and even after he runs the mansion, he felt that way), but dancing with her makes "time get away from [him]." What if I disappeared mysteriously into the ocean never to be see again

And his consideration for her, taking a break even though he could probably go for another song 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sorry for the wait…Oh, who might this be? ("O Y A?" OMFG THE WAY HE’S LIKE 'bicc. Who u.' CRYING HIS TONE CHANGES SO FAST) …I see. Alas, she is my lover. I’m sorry, but could you give up on seeking her for a dance? Tonight is a special night, and I don’t intend to share her with anyone. It seems I can’t take my eyes off you for a single moment, that you were propositioned while I was only a few steps away. (Comte: NO TALK MC I'M A N G Y) I shouldn’t have let you go for a moment, even when the song was over.

…I don’t mind if you find it overprotective. I have no intention of concealing my possessiveness towards you. I won’t let it go like I used to. I decided to be more direct about my feelings when we agreed to be together. No matter who it is, I intend to proudly claim you as my lover. (O//O) …More, come closer. There is still another man interested in you. I’m in trouble if I don’t protect my beautiful lover from the likes of these opportunists.

Comte possessive and jealous makes brain go brrrrr, I regret to inform you all that--[obnoxiously loud Windows error sound]. Honestly it's hot every time I got nothing more to add, horny longing, awooga noises, be still my beating [redacted] etc.

…I think I’m full of contradictions. (LAUGHS AT HIMSELF BUT ALSO MURDER) I want to show off my beautiful lover, but I also don’t want anyone else to look at you. And when I look at you, my heart is at war between reason and instinct. …It takes everything I have just to hold back. …Is it repulsive/do you regret us now? I wouldn’t hold it against you if you said something like that. Then…shall we take our leave for some time alone? I’m not joking, I’m entirely serious. I always want you…

First of all Comte, contradiction is my kink (apparently?????? I am The Bearer of the Curse) so write that down. Second of all--

I love MC having the same brainrot as Comte stans of like 'oh no you being just a smidge yan is actually ungodly sexy and exactly what I signed up for, so dw about it 👍🏼.' I applaud Crybird for giving the people what they want. Although it makes me a little sad when he thinks he's too much/needy, I always want to pat him 🥺💜 I know who I married Comte CMERE

Also it will never stop being funny to me the way he's deadass that meme of the dog with the tennis ball/frisbee. It's hilarious every single time. Comte is seriously out here like:

Comte: Meet MC? Meet my lovely wife whom I cherish and is beautiful in every way conceivably possible?

Person: I like her too

Comte: NO TAKE ONLY PERCEIVE!!!! NO PERCEIVE ONLY SCRAM!!!!!!

Like this is peak comedy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I really do love how much Crybird has fun with the purebloods in the sense that they can be so mature but also a bit childish??? He's so adorably petulant and petty in these moments it's hard not to coo.

Also the way he always wants her like he hasn't seen her in 17 years every single time. I LOVE THE UNADULTERATED AND UNMITIGATED YEARNING!!!!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!

Aight that's it for this CD track, but the upcoming one is the hank pank. Until next time everyone, hope you enjoyed this ???th installment of Minnie's Brainrot Hours.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #not incorrect quotes #drama cd translation #**lies down on the floor**#do you ever just have so many feelings.......#i'd give my left kidney to dance with him just ONCE #'do you regret marrying me?'#comte if you ask me one more time i will not be held responsible for my actions #narrator voice: actions include “jumping him every waking moment and babying him”#“and/or redacted whatever the mood brings in the moment im not stingy”#but at the same time #**holds him gently in my arms** its okay gorgeous your vibes are immaculate and your companionship is invaluable #there's no one else but you for me

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