#or daddy issues cuz all the men i’ve been with are always like older my last boyfriend was 10 years older than me and Idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shijiujun · 3 years

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Okay I’ve decided to do a single rec after I finish one novel hahaha because if I wait to get around to it all it’ll never happen! Anyway because @sarah-yyy has been reading it and I’ve gotten a lot of asks/replies on this, I’m just going to do one huge list for one of my faves so everyone knows what’s going on and where to find things XD

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary:

This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

Read:

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua (You’ll have to download the KuaiKan app, the chapters are currently all free)

Characters:

1. 景韶 Jing Shao - 3rd Prince and is the first out of his three other brothers to be given a title 成王 (cheng wang). He’s referred to as 王爷, and also 小勺 (xiao shao) by Han Zhang. Went out on his first war when he was 14, and was thus given a title before any of his brothers. He’s known for being a merciless, cold and fierce army general/commander, but this was before his second life with Han Zhang, where he puts on like his doting mode and is basically a dumbass XD who listens to Han Zhang with a lot of trust, which is cool and all.

He marries Han Zhang when he’s 19, and in his first life he was very reluctant and resistant, and neglected Han Zhang for 10 years, until he was charged with treason and hunted down.

In his first life he wanted to snatch the throne, even from his blood-related brother Jing Chen, but more out of spite than anything else because he felt he was dealt an unfair hand by having to marry Han Zhang. Not only that, but Jing Shao is not his father’s favourite son, and he always felt that the emperor was biased against him. Anyway, a huge accumulation of daddy and anger issues, which is fair.

When he realizes that Han Zhang died for him, he decides he will be good to Han Zhang if they are reborn in their next life.

2. 慕含章 Mu Han Zhang - The 2nd son of Marquis Bei Hou’s, born to a concubine. He’s called by his 表字 which is 君清 (jun qing) by Jing Shao. Official First Wife Bei Wei Hou-furen and her son (who is in line to inherit the Marquis title from his father) has bullied him all his life, and wanted to push him into greater desperation by marrying him to Jing Shao, knowing he will suffer at the hands of the supposed merciless/heartless wangye. He has a weak body because of an accident when he was younger, and in his first life he was really sick after being neglected for 10 years, and knowing this in their second life, Jing Shao does everything he can to take care of him.

He is incredibly smart, has a brain for business and sales, and is also very good at handling people, especially scheming ones. He aids Jing Shao in the beginning of their second life, and then Jing Chen later as well, as both brothers begin to fight to put Jing Chen on the throne, against the 1st and 4th Princes. Is an incredibly good tactician in war as well.

3. 景琛 Jing Chen - 2nd Prince, Jing Shao’s blood related older brother who is handsome af too. His title, given later in the novel, is 睿王 (rui wang). He was misunderstood by Jing Shao in the first life as Jing Shao thought it was his brother who led to him marrying Han Zhang, and because he’s not very good at expressing himself and shows his concern to Jing Shao by nagging at him, Jing Shao always thought he hated him. In their second life, Jing Shao already knows that Jing Chen loves him and did a lot for him in his first life, and so trusts his brother and supports him right off the bat, because Jing Chen is indeed the most suited person for the throne.

He has a wife and a concubine, 3 sons and 2 daughters at this point. He ends up helping Jing Shao a lot, and when he realizes that Han Zhang is way more adept at politics and the whole scheming thing than Jing Shao is, he begins trusting Han Zhang a lot more as well! There’s a surprise with Jing Chen hahaha which I loveee and could see, but wasn’t sure until they confirmed it in the last few chapters AHAHAHAHA.

Other Notable Characters:

1. Song Ling Xin (Second Wife) on the left, and two other concubines on the right

They’re pretty much vying for Jing Shao’s attention, but at this point apparently he hasn’t slept with any of them before. Song Ling Xin is the daughter of the Military Department’s Head Song An, and Jing Shao married her initially out of interest. The right most concubine (I forgot her name oops) was a gift given to him by his oldest brother, the 1st Prince. The two of them played a huge role in Jing Shao’s downfall back in his first life, and so in his second life, he especially detests Song Ling Xin. Plus the three of them keep bullying Han Zhang in the beginning, but thankfully Jing Shao is like: “Anything my Jun Qing wants”. They don’t stay around for long either, watch as Jing Shao gets rid of them like he’s swatting flies.

2. Xiao Yuan & Zhou Da-Ge

This is another male couple who’s been married for 7-8 years if I recall. Xiao Yuan is one of Jing Shao’s important allies and friends in the second life, because in Jing Shao’s first life, this was one of the only young officials in court who spoke up for him when the accusations of treason came about. Zhou Da-Ge is his husband, who is a cook running a restaurant in the city. Whenever Zhou Da-Ge bullies Xiao Yuan in bed a little too much, Xiao Yuan punishes him by making him wear colourful clothes out (pink, bright yellow, purple, etc.) and thus he has a reputation for being eccentric and a weirdo, but oh well, all for love.

3. Gu Huai Qing

One of Jing Shao and Jing Chen’s most powerful allies, and he becomes blood-sworn brothers with Jing Shao without realizing who he is. Later he takes a liking to Jing Chen.

(Will update with photos when they come out, but they’re a bit further into the story so we won’t have them for a few months yet ahahaha)

Amazing Scenes:

Jing Shao & Han Zhang first looks in the manhua

Jing Shao being THAT clingy husband and helping Han Zhang to wear his clothes properly so cute!!!!!

Han Zhang and Jing Shao in their first lives (10 years later), about to die, sad and then Jing Shao jumps down the cliff with Han Zhang’s corpse, regretful cuz he a dumb bij

Jing Shao unable to resist kissing Han Zhang’s cheek, realizes what he’s doing, and gets embarrassed LMAOOOO 没出息!!!!!!! (This is different from the novel, because in the novel Jing Shao just kisses and is done with that, the embarrassment part is drawn in only in the manhua hahaha)

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

Jing Shao is like, he does a 180 entirely and he is very cognisant of all his faults and what he did wrong previously, and how badly he treated Han Zhang, so he legit forces his brain to go “I will listen to Jun Qing from now on” and he really sticks to it!

Loves kissing and teasing Han Zhang, but doesn’t force him into bed after their wedding night, and instead goes to Xiao Yuan and asks for tips on how to make his partner feel less scared about sex

The both of them end up with a pet tiger?!! That’s called Xiao Huang (little yellow) LMAO

They nap together a lot which I love <3333

Jing Shao knows he’s bullied at home, so when they go back to the Marquis Bei Hou manor, he holds Han Zhang’s hand in front of everyone to let them know Han Zhang has someone to back him up

Brings Han Zhang to war because he “cannot concentrate if Jun Qing isn’t with me at all times” - and asks for special permission to do so

Han Zhang notes that since he married Jing Shao, as the ‘wife’ he is supposed to serve Jing Shao, but it’s always Jing Shao serving him - Getting water for him, bringing him to baths, putting clothes on for him, putting food in his plate if it tastes nice, massaging his back and waist etc. - and best is he doesn’t have to deal with any in-laws?!! HAHAHA

Jing Shao gets revenge on those who hurt Han Zhang when he was younger for him, and the outcome is pretty hilarious but well-deserved

EPILOGUES are cute af!!!!

#the wife is first #you own my all #qi wei shang #妻为上 #danmei #danmei novel #stebeee recs #min's why you should read

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s1nderella-a · 3 years

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boku no hero academia fic recs!

i’m doing this cuz i’ve been told i have good taste in fics so now it’s my sole personality trait so pls give all of them a read the authors are so talented

full fic rec list

get cool; tdashshirts

krbk | 13,214 words | 1/1 chapters

summary:

Katsuki and Eijiro's four-step plan to get class 2A to ship Kiribaku.

blast and icy hot’s guide to not fucking up a baby; laurenshappenstobemyhusband

tdbk (this fic was dedicated to me omfg i screamed when i saw cuz this author is so. good.) | 6,012 words | 1/1 chapters

summary:

"Bakugou, it's your turn to change Hikaru," Todoroki says tiredly, handing him the doll. "Be gentle with him."

"I do everything in this damn house," Bakugou grumbles, reaching for the diaper bag. "Is it too late to get an abortion?"

"Just a little. Make sure to burp him too, he just ate."

"It's a doll. Stop calling it a he."

"He's our son."

OR: Bakugou and Todoroki are paired up in health class to take care of a (fake) baby to learn about the dangers of teenage pregnancy.

imputation; rabiddog

izuku-centric | 9,336 words | 8/? chapters

summary:

Shota Aizawa wasn't particularly surprised by the idea of a traitor at UA, he just hadn't expected it to be one of his students, and especially not Izuku Midoriya of all people.

weightless; drifting_manatee

baku-centric (krbk though) | 24,561 words | 2/2 chapters

summary:

He wants everyone staring at him in the corridors to get a fucking grip, because Katsuki is doing just fine. The world’s still turning and he’s still at U.A, he’s doing his calculus equations when asked and he's still training to become the number one hero.

He also happens to just... not have a mom anymore. Something that apparently has contaminated him in the eyes of every single person in the school.

(Bakugou Katsuki loses his mother in a freak and tragic accident. All he can do is watch as everyone else in his life treats him like glass and wonders why he hasn't fallen apart yet.

Maybe he won't. Maybe he's fine.

He just can't let Kirishima talk to him).

rinse, repeat; peas_god

bakugou family dynamics | 2,725 words | 1/1 chapters

summary:

It starts, as it always does, with a fight.

She is his mother and Katsuki loves and hates her in equal measure. They are cut off the same cloth and he burns with the knowledge that this is what he will become when he grows older, intense in the ways that matter and in the ways that do not. He sees what his future holds.

He bares his teeth.

Or: Katuski loves his parents. He hates them too.

between lion and men; aloera

krbk | 26,060 words | 3/? chapters

summary:

“Fight me,” Katsuki demands. “Your weakass got second in the entrance exam and you shouldn’t have, so fight me.”

The gym quiets around him, the wary gazes of his classmates burning against the back of his neck. Katsuki doesn’t care.

Kirishima is there, looking at him for the first time, his face contorted into a jarring glare, ridges emerging across his browbone.

“Bring it,” Kirishima growls.

There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw.

first love / late spring; bogliasco

bkdk alternate canon | 13,486 words | 1/1 chapters

summary:

Throughout Katsuki's life, there will only be two constants. Izuku, and Not-Izuku. Who is the stranger that takes over Izuku's body so unpredictably, and why does he always look so sad?

reaching for a nonexistent heaven (good thing one exists right here); cereal_whore

no ships just crack-filled gen (pj! au) | 91,282 words | 5/? chapters

summary:

Bakugou stares.

Aizawa stares back.

"You're half horse."

At this, the emo My Little Pony cosplayer's ear flicks, as if he's irritated. "And you're a whole idiot. What's your point?"

OR: I center every PJ book around Bakugou, with Midoriya forced to tag along because he doesn't have a ride home. Carpooling alongside the roadtrip around the foreign country America are under-qualified babysitters Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, and Kirishima.

Along the way, they accidentally befriend more kids reeking of daddy-issues who have a capable resolve against Bakugou's bullshit attitude, because nothing like the pressure of life-threatening, saving-the-world-and-Bakugou’s-mom scenarios that really creates bonds.

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years

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Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Or on FF

Tagging: @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook @itsfabianadocarmo

Chapter 6: As You Wish

Emma wasn’t waiting for Ruby to get back to her room. Not at all. She was simply staring at the door in case anyone interesting walked by. At least that is what she told herself. She had spent the last hour convincing herself that she didn’t care what Ruby and Killian were up to. She could barely stomach the guy at all and if Ruby wanted to deal with his bullshit, who was she to stop her.

She peeked her head out the door and peered down the hall.

“Help you with something Emma?”

She jumped and grabbed her heart. “My God you scared me.” Graham was standing behind her with a grin across his face. “Um no, I was just waiting for Ruby to get back from…” She paused and bit her lip. “The cafeteria.”

“Bit late to be eating don’t you think? It’s almost lights out.”

Emma panicked. She didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. “Female issues.” She said with a shy smile. “Chocolate make the cramps go away.” She cringed at her own words and he put his hands up in front of him.

“Say no more.” He backed away quickly and continued down the hall.

“Ugh.” She groaned just as she heard voices coming from the other end of the hallway. She ran back into the room and jumped into her bed, grabbing a magazine, and holding it up in front of her, quickly flipping it again so that it was right side up.

“Thanks again Ruby, you really are a very sweet lass.” Emma rolled her eyes, staring down at the magazine.

“Well, you know what I said earlier, you come find me, anytime.”

“Goodnight, Love.”

“Night Killian.”

Emma felt like vomiting. It wasn’t that she cared about Killian and Ruby doing whatever they were off doing together, she didn’t. Not entirely. Maybe she was just lonely. That had to be what it was. She’d felt alone since getting to the island.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true either. She and Jefferson had become like kindred spirits. He had a way of making her laugh that made her feel free. She hadn’t felt that way in such a long time that she found herself looking forward to hanging out with him. Not that she didn’t think he might have a screw loose, or maybe even two. But he was very sweet to her and she enjoyed the attention.

So maybe it wasn’t loneliness that had her seeing red when Ruby walked into the room, her cheeks flushed, and her clothes still covered in sand. “Looks like you had an interesting evening.” She said dryly.

The girl looked down at her clothes, brushing them off with a giggle. “Oh yeah well, we were um…”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I don’t care to hear the damn details.”

“I was right about one thing though.”

Emma looked up from her magazine. The girl stretched her hands apart and mouthed ‘big dick’. Emma shook her head, her insides fuming as she gritted her teeth. “Don’t care, Rubes.” She tossed her magazine to the ground and rolled onto her side, pulling her covers over her head. “Turn off the light when you are done, please.”

She didn’t sleep well that night. She told herself it was because in the morning she would have to go to another group therapy session, but she knew that wasn’t entirely the reason for her foul mood. Looking over at Ruby still sleeping in her bed, she got up and quietly dressed for the day, sneaking out to grab some breakfast before their session. She didn’t feel like spending the morning listening to her roommate talk about Killian or the size of any of his damn parts.

She grabbed her tray, a short stack of pancakes and bacon, before settling into a seat in the corner of the cafeteria. It was quiet and she was grateful to have a moment to collect her thoughts before she had to deal with the entire group again. Apparently therapy patients were not early risers because she continued to be the only person in the room for thirty minutes. However, as soon as she heard his voice, she started gathering her plates and stood from the table, watching as Ruby and Killian entered the room, both laughing about something stupid she was sure he had said.

She threw away her garbage and walked toward the door. “Something I said again?” He joked loudly as she approached the exit. She paused for a moment and turned back toward him, extending her middle finger, before continuing toward the hallway. She didn’t know why she was being so childish, but it felt good.

She was still early for group, but she didn’t know where else to go so she made her way to the room and sat in an empty chair around the circle.

“You don’t get any bonus points for being early.” She looked up to see August enter the room. “But I’m glad to see you came back.”

“Ready for round 2 of my interrogation.” She said mockingly.

“We haven’t really had a moment to chat.” He looked around the room. “Seems now is as good a time as any.” Emma shrugged, looking apprehensive. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for last session. I want you to know it wasn’t personal.”

“Really? Because it felt personal.”

“Look I’ve been here four weeks now, I get it. It’s not easy coming from a life you know to somewhere like this where you are forced to face the darkest shit about yourself. It’s not always fun looking that deep.”

“Or having someone tell you who you are when they don’t even know you.”

“Fair point, Emma. But have you ever had anyone just tell it to you how it is, no bullshit, no sugar? Because that’s where you gotta get to here. You have to rip the bandage off and let it bleed.”

“That’s graphic.” She scowled.

They heard voices and looked up as the others entered the room. Ruby coming in and plopping down in the seat next to her. “You got up early.”

Emma shrugged but smiled at her.

Killian took the seat directly across from her, his dark eyes meeting hers as Dr. Hopper walked in with Will and Jefferson.

“Looks like the gang is all here.” Will joked, taking the seat on the other side of her. “Mornin’ beautiful.”

Emma scrunched her nose, watching him from the corner of her eyes. “Um hi.”

“Alright who wants to go first today?”

“I will.” Ruby volunteered and Emma happily turned to her other side to watch her roommate speak.

“My Grans is coming to family day this time. I’m really excited to see her.”

“That’s great, Ruby. That’s a big step. You didn’t think she would come last time we talked.”

“Yeah, I guess she’s still upset with me. Disappointed, but she’s willing to come support me.”

“How are your phone calls going with her?”

“Good, a bit short still. She doesn’t want to have to talk about all the um, men, I’ve done around town. Apparently, I have a fan club that comes looking for me at the diner.”

“Is it just you and her at home?”

“Um yeah, she took care of me for as long as I can remember.”

“Your parents are gone?”

“Dad passed when I was five, mom didn’t handle it well. She wasn’t around much and then it was just me and Grans.”

“So, you grew up without a man in your life?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Do you think not having a father around might have led to an unhealthy obsession with men?”

She shrugged. “I guess. It’s not like I sleep with men because I want my daddy if that’s what you’re thinking?”

“Sounds to me like daddy issues is a common theme in this room.”

Emma glared at August. “Again, with that shit? Can a woman have self-esteem issues without you automatically assuming it has to do with a man?”

He held his hands up in front of his body. “Truce, please continue.”

“Anyway, in the beginning I liked being with them because they bought me alcohol. Treated me nice, bought me things. But then I just found that I wanted to please them, almost like I needed to, like it made me high anytime I was offering sexual favors.”

“I wish I had a sex addiction.” Will announced and every laughed. “Sure, sounds like a better way to get high.”

“Sex addiction is not a laughing matter, it’s very serious. It leads to unhealthy relationships, low self-esteem, depression.” Their therapist tried to explain.

“That about sums me up.” Ruby said with a shrug, a frown on her face for just a moment before her mask took over again and she plastered the smile back on her face.

“I don’t get how having sex is somehow a serious issue.” August rolled his eyes and crossed his arms against his chest.

“You know, you may not take it seriously, poor little rich girl, got drunk, had sex with a man who beat the shit out of her, took too many pills, and ended up here. Sex addiction seems stupid to you but try living with it every day. When the only way to feel good about yourself is if you please someone else.” Ruby had tears on her cheek and Emma reached over to take her hand.

August sighed. “I’m sorry Rubes, you’re right, it was wrong of me to say that.”

“I don’t need your pity. Or yours.” She pointed to Will. “Maybe yours, cuz you’re hot.” She winked at Killian and Emma flushed.

“Ok thank you for sharing today, Ruby.” Archie interjected thankfully before Ruby could continue her shameless flirting.

“Emma, why don’t you share something today.”

Emma sighed deeply. “I uh, not sure where I’m supposed to start.”

“Let’s talk about how old you were when you first started drinking.”

“I probably started when I was 14. I went to a party with a Neal.”

“And Neal is your boyfriend, correct?

She looked at her hands. “Um, yeah, he’s my boyfriend. We met when I was twelve and he was just always around.”

“Was he upset by your drinking?”

She laughed. “Not at all. Neal actually made me my first drink.”

“Are you and Neal the same age?”

“Nah he’s a couple of years older than me, so he was 16 when we went to our first party together.” She caught Killian’s eye and looked away.

“Emma, would you say that Neal was an enabler for your addictions?”

Emma flinched. “No.”

Her therapist squinted his eyes. “When did the drugs start?”

Her heart was starting to beat a bit harder in her chest. “I would say a couple years later. Maybe 16 or 17?”

“And where did you get them from? Was Neal part of the drugs as well?”

“Um, he had a dealer we would buy from.”

“Bloody hell.” Killian swore under his breath.

“What’s your problem?” She shot back at him and he glared back at her.

“Just seems like a real swell guy giving fucking drugs to a 16-year-old.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s none of your damn business.”

“Apologizes, M’lady.” He bowed his head toward her and she felt the anger building inside her.

“Why are we apologizing at all? Killian has a point.” August interjected and Emma’s head snapped in his direction.

“Aye, he has a point.” Will mimicked.

“I’m the one in rehab, not Neal.”

“Yeah, but it sounds like he had a hand in getting you here. Did he even try and stop you when you started drowning?”

Emma bit her cheek, her knee bouncing in front of her. “Neal tried. He’s a good guy.” She lied. She knew they were right, but that was none of their damn business.

Killian snorted in disgust.

“I think I’m done sharing for today.” Archie nodded and turned toward Killian.

“Killian, why don’t we move to you since you seem eager to talk today.”

Emma smirked when he looked up at her. “Serves you right buddy.”

“Alright.”

Emma noticed how quickly his demeanor changed.

“When did you start drinking?”

“I was in a band.” Emma snorted and then covered her mouth. He peered through slanted eyes in her direction before continuing. “I’m just saying, it was different circumstances. I wasn’t a 14-year-old rich girl who could have anything she wanted.”

“I beg your pardon.” She scowled.

“It’s different, princess. I had nothing. We practiced in a broken-down garage with instruments we got from a pawn shop. My dad wasn’t around much and when he was, he was passed out drunk, my brother practically raised me. And when I wasn’t with Liam, Rob and I spent a lot of time writing songs and drinking.”

“Hypocrite.” She mumbled.

“Besides,” He said loudly. “We were just kids messing around. I didn’t start abusing alcohol until much later.”

“What do you think brought that on?”

Emma studied his face. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so invested in his story or why she cared at all.

“I guess it was probably all the pressure I was under to perform. The band was touring and as soon as the tour ended, I was expected to start filming a movie, I had just gotten engaged, and everything seemed to be spinning out of control.”

Engaged? Now that’s something she didn’t expect.

“Most of the time all that pressure comes from within, man.” Jefferson laid a hand on Killian’s shoulder.

“I guess, I mean the money I brought in was more money than my family had ever seen. At first it felt good to be able to provide but after a while, everything I did became about making sure that money kept coming in instead of just doing what I loved.”

Emma studied his face, looking for any sign of deception as he spoke, she found none.

The room got quiet and Archie finally spoke. “Ok you guys did great today. Let’s pause here and congratulate Emma and Killian on completing one week of rehab. Great job.”

Everyone clapped but Emma could only sigh. She’d only managed to get through one week. She didn’t feel like she had gotten anywhere, instead it was like she was frozen in place.

The group stood and broke off into smaller discussions. Will and Jefferson talking about the next visit to the gym and Killian and Ruby whispering in the corner, probably making plans for another roll in the sand, she thought.

She slipped out the back door while no one was paying attention and went in search of her refuge. It wasn’t until her feet climbed the hill under the pier that she let out a large breath. She sat down on the sandy embankment, watching the waves coming in and out with the tide.

“Permission to enter?”

She saw him standing at the edge of the pier, rays of sunshine brushing his hair. “Does my answer matter?”

“Of course, it does, Swan.”

She groaned. “What do you want?”

“I came to apologize.” He stood at the bottom of the embankment. “For earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Which time.” She spat and then looked back at him; disappointment plastered across his face. “Sorry, habit. It’s fine. Seriously.”

He tentatively climbed the hill and sat down beside her. “I did not mean to make disparaging remarks about your boyfriend, Neal correct?”

She didn’t want to talk about Neal. She just shrugged and stared at the water. They sat in silence for a what felt like hours. It was comfortable, yet she couldn’t explain why.

“I started doing drugs when I met Milah.” He spoke softly.

“Is that your fiancé?”

He nodded sadly. “Aye.” He looked over at her and she noticed immediately that the bravado was gone.

“Is she coming for family day?”

He looked toward the ocean and released a deep sigh. “No.”

“Oh.”

“Can I tell you something?” Their eyes met and she nodded silently. “It was a car accident.” Her brow furrowed, not understanding him. “I had been drinking.” He paused, swallowing hard as if he was admitting something that was more for his benefit and not hers. “A lot. Milah and I got into a fight the night of my movie premier. I was angry and she was yelling at me. The road was wet, and I lost control of the wheel. I didn’t even see the truck.”

Emma swallowed. Oh my God. What was he saying? Her mouth was dry, and she didn’t understand why he was choosing to share this information with her.

“That’s how you lost your hand?” She finally spoke, hardly at a whisper.

He nodded sadly. “That was only part of my punishment. I lost everything I loved that night.”

Emma came to a slow realization for what the implication of his statement meant. Milah couldn’t come visit him for family day because she was no longer here.

“Killian I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize, that’s my burden not yours.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know.” He whispered. “You called me out for lying previously. No one else even batted an eye.”

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. I’m pretty good at knowing when someone is lying to me.”

“Well now I’m not. And now you can admit the truth.”

She stared at him confused. “The truth about what?”

“Neal. It seems to me that he’s been there throughout your entire beginnings and yet here you are, alone. Where was he?”

“I fail to see how that is any of your business, but if you have to know, he’s waiting for me at home. He’s always been supportive of my recovery.”

“I see, so no one can lie to you, but you can lie to yourself. Seems quite cowardly.”

“I beg your pardon. Do you think because you chose to share something with me that suddenly that makes us…” She glared at him. “What? Friends?”

He stood and started to walk down the hill. She jumped up and chased him through the sand. “Did you think pretending to open up to me, telling me your secret was going to get you in my pants. Was Ruby not enough for you?”

He turned on her. “First off, Ruby is a much better friend than you are even capable of, but you can be sure, love, I have no intention of getting anywhere near your pants.”

“Good, because I have no interest in you.” She glared with her arms crossed.

“Nor I you.” He yelled.

They stared intently at each other, time standing still, fire burning in his blue eyes. He put his hands in the air and turned. “Forget it, Swan, I’ll leave.”

“Just stay the hell away from me.”

“As you wish.” He bowed, turning back toward the center, and jogging away.

She wanted to scream but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Instead, she fell back into the sand and cried. He seemed so sincere just five minutes earlier. It infuriated her that he could so easily get under her skin. She didn’t want to admit that he had seen through her, that he was right about Neal without even knowing the full story. She hated him for being right about anything, but she hated him more for being right about her. She was a coward.

Why was he trying to connect with her anyway? He was already having sex with Ruby.

It had never occurred to her that maybe he was just reaching out for someone to share his experience with. Besides, he did come to her in private, he wasn’t like August, going after her in front of everyone else. And how did she repay that? She yelled at him. Accused him of divulging something so personal with her in exchange for sex. It angered her that she may be in the wrong.

After all, she was the one who had kissed him. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in her at all. He had never made any attempts to kiss her since that day. And now she was pretty sure he hated her. As Emma walked back to the center that evening, she realized that even in rehab she was a complete and utter screwup.

#wonderland fic #wonderland #stacy's fics #emma x killian #killian jones #emma x hook #emma swan #captainswan #captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fics #captain swan modern au

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praphit · 5 years

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Ad Astra: Dammit, Brad!

Just Ad some Astra, people! - and everything will be alright. There's a joke there somewhere; it's not in what I just said, and wherever it is, it's probably a bad one, but it's there! Sometimes, I like jokes that are bad. We all have a family member or two who tell the same bad joke over and over again, but love them for it. Or sometimes it'll be the same joke that people tell at work, you know?? - about the weather, or the weekend or something:

I'm always hearing jokes like "I'm off to HR. So-and-so grabbed my butt again. They'd better fire his ass this time!" - AND THEN WE’D ALL LAUGH. ... ... in retrospect, that's not really a joke. ... Ok, better example - sometimes people will be like "Oh no! My wife is leaving me. She found me in bed with another woman... she's taking the kids." - AND THEN WE’D ALL... ... Hmm... I 'm starting to realize what assholes we've been. But, y’all know what I mean, right? There are jokes that are bad, and then there are bad jokes! *sigh* That leads me to this movie.

Brad Pitt, baby! Look at those eyes! Damn he's pretty! I hope I look that good when I'm his age. I'm here for them sending Brad Pitt anywhere. Send him to the jungle - I'm there! Send him under water - I'm there! So, of course, if you're sending him to space - I'm there! The prob is, it's a bad joke. They sent him to space and he didn't do nothing! - I mean NOTHING! All he did was float around and narrate. Idc how pretty he is, nobody wants to watch that!

Brad Pitt, with this movie, joins that special list of actors:

with Tom Hanks, and Meryl Streep, and George Clooney, and Denzel.

We love them. They're extremely talented. Critics love them. AND their movies are boring as hell - this one is no different. Don't believe me?? - go to RT and you'll see a critical rating of around 80% and an audience rating of around 46% (tho it might be less by now). Normally, I say the truth is in the middle, which is still in the 60's, so... yeah, "Ad Astra", everybody *slow clap*

There's a lot of beauty to behold in this flick (especially in the beginning), so it might win awards in that arena, but damn the plot and characters! Dag gon you, Brad Pitt! It's not his fault that the movie is boring. It IS his fault for being in this boring movie.

Brad's character has daddy issues, and decides to work them out in space. Critics will say how deep this movie is... this ain't deep. Brad, your dad is a jerk - THE END.

Either make peace with that fact or say "bleep it" and move on with your life - don't drag us along for this boring ride.

Dammit, Brad!

You could have been a diva! You could have been like "I know we're in space, but imma take off this suit, and my shirt... trust me, the ladies will love that. I'm Brad Pitt. And I know in this scene there are dangerous highly flammable substances around, but Brad Pitt needs a smoke; make it work in the story! I know this is an Oscar craving drama, but I feel like fightin a mutha bleeper or two. Hey you! Yeah! Jamie Kennedy! Donald Sutherland! I've always wanted to punch y'all. Let's fight! Come here! I'm Brad Pitt! Where ya going?!

Hey, Liv Tyler!

Where the hell have you been? I know this scene doesn't call for it, but let's you and me make sweet, sweet love. What?! Why not?! I'm Brad Pitt!"

But, instead he kept his mouth shut (except for when the director made him narrate in monotone), and just floated around in space. Every now and then, Ruth Negga would appear or Tommy Lee Jones... and every now and then something beautiful would appear, but then back to Brad's thoughts about daddy in space.

DAMMIT, BRAD!

I mean...

I....

*deep sigh*

Grade: D

Plus, we've already made this movie! - several times! It doesn't have to be complex. They did... what was it? - Armageddon, with um... Bruce Willis, and... Ben Affleck...

... and wasn't Liv Tyler in that too? - Was that her last movie? And I think Chris Tucker showed up and started singing... with a crazy hairdo... that doesn't sound right at all, but that's what I remember.

They did Apollo 13!

The Hanky Pank Man went into space and probably won an Oscar or something.

Didn't Ryan Gosling go into space recently?

I don't remember much of that movie. He was probably crying, cuz that's his strength. He builds up to a cry for the whole movie, then at the end he makes us cry with him. Sorry, cuz that's pretty much a spoiler for all of his movies.

Matthew McConaughey went into space... something about time travel or something, I think.

Was Liv in that too?! Maybe she has actually been stuck in space. All of these movies are connected - they're just trying to get Liv Tyler out of space and back into Hollywood.

... nah, it was some other pretty pale white woman.

Sandra Bullock went into space.

She floated around for a while... but she didn't do that for hours whining about daddy issues like a lil bitch, BRAD PITT! (sorry, again, not your fault). SANDRA eventually did stuff... though I can't remember what. I remember ghost George Clooney ( at least I think he was a ghost) showing up in her space pod ... and then he made them both space martini's,

and.... and then she took off her pants. There was a butt shot, and roll credits.

Again, that doesn't sound right, but that's what I remember. Why did she take off her pants? Or is that what ladies do when in the presence of Clooney?

And I think Mark Hamill might have went into space and did some stuff as well.

I seem to have forgotten a lot about these movies, but that's kinda my point! Just go up into space, do some shit, and come back! We're going to forget most of it anyway; just entertain us in the moment! You don't just go into space and float around, BRAD PITT!

DAMMIT, Brad! Those are hours of my life wasted listening to you drone on and on about NOTHING!

Again, I'm projecting my anger onto Brad, but it's not really his fault.

A better movie would have been this -

Brad decides to go to space, and take with him a handful of other actors who got stuck playing boring roles. They'll all revisit one of their more memorable exciting characters:

Brad - Tyler Durden

Hanks - Woody

(yep, yep... that’s weird)

Streep - the witch from "Into the Woods"

Denzel - the guy from Training Day

(Wow, did they think Denzel was going to grow into that jacket during filming?)

Clooney - Batman

(his nipple game was immaculate)

Let's put Damon in there, cuz... yeah... - he'll play... what part was it when his movies started to... you know... ??? Was it "The Informant!"? He'll play that guy.

We still need more color, I think. And another woman... a lil older... um... Rosie Perez!

I hear that she's coming back to acting. Maybe I shouldn't call it a come back, but... has she done anything since "White Men Can't Jump"? or had she been in space with Liv Tyler? She's supposed to be in that "Birds of Prey" movie next year... why they grabbed her for that movie when she hasn't done anything in like 40 years, idk. BUT, she's going to be in MY movie dag gonit! - she'll play... Idk, we'll just throw a "White Men Can't Jump" T-shirt on her, and give her a basketball.

BOOM! The team!

They'll go into space in hopes to do something interesting or fun or.. something that generally doesn't suck ass.

And why does it always have to be about exploring the moon or mars? And why do we only meet stereotypical aliens? There always either cute and marketable or they want to kill us.

We wouldn't even have to go the alien angle. What about other entities? Ooo! Or what about God? Scientists often joke that they haven't yet found some white bearded old man surfing through space yet. But, what if they did?

How about this?!

Brad and his team find Jesus and the Holy Ghost surfing through the cosmos, looking for the Father.

(Jesus played by Lil Wayne and HG played by... Lady Gaga - sure)

BUT the Father (spoiler alert) is actually on earth. He came down in the form of... idk... Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Btw - did y'all know that Neil was Metoo'd? Somehow I had missed that. So, the Father takes that form, somehow forgets that he's God... maybe gets metoo'd, and now Jesus and the HG have to look for him. Brad and his gang have an interesting encounter with them, and end up joining their quest, and in the process come across... idk... a malfunctioning Optimus Prime (crossover, baby!) with a thirst for blood and vengeance!

All of that stuff gets handled in about 2 hours or so, and Brad Pitt and friends come back to earth and do a musical number with BTS.

THAT, Bradley is how you do it!

DAMMIT, Brad!

To be fair, "Once upon a time in Hollywood" is good! So, maybe we'll look back and give Brad a pass for this.

Sooooo, hit me up, and let's make THAT movie, Brad!

Annnnd don't make no more bullshit. Thanks.

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pacifymebby · 2 years

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Hope u had a nice day ❤️ n since ur blog is kinda a place I feel I can talk I decided to just go for it lol so on the topic of daddy issues I think I’ve been digging deeper into the past to evaluate things I guess.. ofc I know we all have diff experiences but do u think some of these things could stem from this ? I feel like I don’t have a dad bc he was shitty and I only saw him until I was 4 or 5. I have some vague memories of some scary stuff but that’s it but I do know what when I was a kid I really hated men like I didn’t want to be around then (apart from my grandad) and I recently remembered this too bc even now I think I get easily panicked or feel icky at the thought of guys sometimes but tend to find comfort in older ‘authority’ male figures in shows, like those who seem to save women from bad situations

** if you actually read that I’m like rly sorry cuz I see how I sound insane but anywayyyyy***

Aw am glad u feel so comfortable talking on my blog/to me!! <3 <3

I feel like those are exactly the kinds of experiences that lead to *daddy issues* for like want of a better phrase. I guess if you had two extreme different experiences with men like, your dad being really shitty, but getting on with your grandad, then what probably happens is you seek out older authority figures that *save* women and protect them, and that younger more immature men don't appeal to you because you don't feel they can look after you. And like, maybe the men thst make you feel icky remind you in some way of your dad?

With my own issue I know that something happened to me when I was a teenager and like, in that moment I really needed my dad, like I needed him to step up and protect/comfort his little girl but the situation didn't work out that way and instead we had a big falling out where he didn't speak to me for a month.

We get on amazing other than this one incident, but i think that because I never really healed from that incident I'm always seeking out the man that would be like *daddy* and protect and look after me and like dote on me. Cause I didn't get it when maybe I needed it most?

Anyway that was deep haha ❤️

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benbarnesescape · 7 years

Text

The Wager - Part 3

Warnings: None at all

A/N: This is a shorter part but it's fluffy and adorable because you know what, there's not enough fluffy Logan! Yes he’s kind of an ass and yes he probably kinda is a jerk but I think he’s a character that has the opportunity to change cuz like most of us daddy issues. Actually have no idea if this is reflected in his character on the show anymore cuz i haven’t watched Westworld since November, its just the background story I’ve decided to live for him ha ha! At least in my head…..either way enjoy

Read the previous Part here

Logan watched you carefully as you chatted enthusiastically to the older couple beside you, sipping your coffee occasionally as you droned on about how you were able to see the great master chef himself bake the buttery croissants placed in front of you all. He knew the smile creeping on his face was a result of the way your eyebrows furrowed together as you listened intently to the older man drone on about how the community had changed, the way you licked your lips before taking a sip of your latte, the way you absentmindedly pushed your hair out of your face.

He had it bad. He knew he did and yet he couldn’t stop himself from pushing further into it. You had every right to call him out on his newfound affection. Though you were both comfortable with each other and you always tried to cuddle with him while you both mindlessly watched Netflix, he never crossed the line, respecting the men you decided to have in your life.

But you were free now and he had started to notice small things. Like your perfume. The way it mingled with your shampoo when he was near. He wanted to bury himself in it. Then the way your skin felt, smooth and soft. He could spend hours worshiping it. Wanted to spend hours memorizing every inch of it.

You laughed, redirecting his attention and he groaned internally.

No, you weren’t like other women. If anything were to happen, it had to be on your terms. He had almost kissed you back in the kitchen. Wanted desperately to taste you again, claim you as his. He wanted every man who had thrown lustful glances at you while you weren’t looking to know that you were his.

But he had no right. He knew that.

“Logan actually is quite the accomplished chef. My croissants didn’t turn out so well,” you held up your light pastry, the intrinsic design a muddle triangle shaped bun. “But his are perfect.” You held one of his up and the woman and man agreed. Their waiter came over with their check and Logan waived his hand at the man.

“I’ll take care of it Louise. Put it on my tab.”

The couple begin to disagree but Logan shook his head. “You were very kind to join us for brunch and save my friend from a boring conversation. Please let me do this.”

They give a gracious smile as he stood, giving a slight stretch before extending his hand out.

“Enjoy your trip in New York. She gave some great suggestions for places to check out. And congratulation your daughter again on her first son.”

They continued to extend their thanks as he watched you hug them goodbye, before you both headed out of the restaurant.

“That was uncharacteristically nice of you. I had no idea you were paying any attention to the conversation at all.”

Your light voice broke him of his thought and he shot you a smirk, shaking his head.

“Why uncharacteristically? And I can multitask. I was just thinking about our next stop for today too.”

He allowed you to step into the town car first, trying to ignore staring at your ass before following.

“I don’t know. I guess that’s not kind of me to say. I’ve just never seen you be charitable to strangers before.”

You’re leaning back to look at him, a smile on your face and he laughs, shaking his head as he looks out the window.

“There’s a lot about me you don’t know Y/N.”

He watches your reflection give a short nod as you sit back in your seat, looking out the window. Your both silent as the car starts, taking you to your next destination as you both get lost in your thoughts before he decides to reach over and grab your hand. The move is absentminded and you jump up in surprise, staring down at the way his fingers grip yours before he pulls away mumbling.

“Sorry, I know you said you didn’t want me to…..ah just forget about it.”

His eyes are pulled back out the window, his eyebrows furrowed together, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. Shit. You had made it clear that affection was way too soon. And why did he care? Why did he want to connect with you anyways?

What the hell was wrong with him?

Its only minutes before he feels the warmth of your hand over his, interlocking them before resting your head on your shoulder.

“Sorry about that Lo. I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier – blame it on my lack of coffee. Of course you can cuddle with me whenever you want.” your voice is a soft whisper and he doesn’t realize he’s been holding his breath until he exhales.

He tries to downplay the action by chuckling though he knows the beating of his heart is a response of relief and squeezes your hand before placing a soft kiss in your hair.

He was definitely wading in unknown, fearful territory. Walls were falling fast and he was becoming someone different, a stranger to the guise he wore for the world.

And he wasn’t so sure how he felt about it.

You frowned, looking up at the cursive words that eloquently spelled out Rachel Saison’s name, the fine letters glowering down at you. It was too much. All of it. It was the second destination and you were standing outside a store, correction a boutique for a very expensive and well respected designer, and refused to walk in. Logan stood impatiently at the door, heaving out loud sighs but you kept your jaw set, answer firm as he continued to pressure you into walking into the store.

“No way.” You repeated when he asked for the fifth time to come inside.

“Why not?”

His deep voice that normally carried control and dominance was shifting to an annoyed whine and you crossed your arms as you looked at him.

“I can’t afford shit in this store. I’m a curator – and not a curator at The Met – for a network of local museums and artists. I don’t make shit for New York. Can’t afford the real stuff – I go to Chinatown and buy knockoffs. This leather jacket is a knockoff for her actual piece of work. No, I refuse to embarrass myself knowingly.”

He gave a sigh as he waded toward you through the busy sidewalk, ignoring the small group of people who had stopped to watch the small argument unfold.

“We had a deal remember? I won the wager and you have to do whatever—“

“Logan I can give two shits about the stupid bet we made right now.” Your voice is ice as you close your eyes, catching him off guard. He watches you for a beat before he places a hand on your shoulder cautiously.

“Y/N, talk to me.” His voice is softer and you open up your eyes, tears watering at the brim and his voice scowls into more concern.

“Did I do anything to upset you? I didn’t mean to offend you….” There’s an uncertainty now to his tone, his eyes desperately seeking your own as he places another hand on your waist, drawing you closer to him.

“Logan it's not that it's just…” you bite your lip. You hated this. Hated admitting your insecurities and faults. Especially to someone like Logan who carried himself with intense confidence. Though you knew and he knew that it was a cover to deal with his father and whacked up job of parenting the man had painted into Logan’s character.

Life sucked.

You take another breath before you breathe out, “ Logan it's just…stores like this make me so uncomfortable. I know that I don’t…never talked to you about it before but I grew up poor. Real poor. My dad left my mom when she was naïve and 17 and she scrapped by wherever she could to get us by. I don’t know how to walk into a place like this, in my outfit that is clearly a knock off, and act like I belong or can afford it without people assuming I’m your mistress. I don’t care about who I am, you know? I work hard and I like my life. But when I go to places like this, places that just reeks of wealth and pompous, all that comes tumbling down. And I feel like high school me, trying to pretend so desperately that I’m more than the outfit I’m wearing.”

You don’t mean to cry, don’t mean to unravel around him but you do, the last word coming out in a light sob before he’s drawing you into a hug, your face cradled in his chest. He hold you firmly in silence, rubbing your back occasionally while you unwind. It’s a stupid thing to cry about but you hated the pit in your stomach these places made you feel – these women who had grown up in elegance and wealth and confidence. Hated feeling out of place next to someone like Logan, who did belong and deserved someone on that level.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,”Logan's soft voice cuts through your thoughts once you’ve settled and you look up at him as he begins to brush your tears away. “I know it's hard to be…honest. But you belong here and deserve this. I know how much you like this designer and she’s an old friend of the firms and when I told her about this amazing woman who would die for some of her clothing, she happily agreed to do a special fitting for you. As a favor to me since apparently I never buy clothes for women.” He rolls his eyes exaggeratedly at the last part and you give a soft laugh before his fingers fall short of your lips.

“But if you don’t want to go in there because you’re uncomfortable we can do something else. This day is about you.”

His eyes are piercing as they look back at you. There’s no expectation but compassion and you give a small smile, placing a soft kiss on his finger. The action takes him off guard as you say,

“No, you’re doing something really sweet. And I would die for a special fitted session with Rachel Saison. In fact, Les and Jess would kill me if I passed this up. I can do it, but only if you’re there.”

He chuckles, nodding his head before he places a kiss on your forehead. When he pulls away he mumbles,

“I already told you, it’s one of my fantasies to have you model for me.”

Its meant as a joke but the way he’s looking at you reflects something else. The same way he looked at you at your party the night before, desire hiding behind his dark pupils. Before you can comment though, he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you into the store.

“I don’t believe you Logan.”

The sultry voice carries low enough for the other workers in the space to not overhear, but loud enough for his ears. He looks up to see Rachel Saison, international famous designer and good friend, stroll toward him from behind the dressing room. Her golden blonde hair shone in the fluorescent light, her blue eyes glistening as they narrowed in on him.

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking up from his blackberry and she rolled her eyes, taking a seat beside you. She quirks an eyebrow as she sits down beside him, shaking her head.

“When you told me that you had a friend interested in my clothing, you didn't tell me it was a girl you were into you.”

This time he quirked his eyebrow and Rachel rolled her eyes, snorting.

“Don’t play stupid with me,” her thick french accent rang in the air. “I saw the way you were gaping at her before you walked in. We all did. Half the girls in here couldn't believe that the man they fucked was giving his attention to some nobody.” she raises her arms before he can defend you. “There words Logan. But then to chat with her to find out that you haven’t even fucked and that’s even more curious.”

“Its true Rachel. I haven’t slept with her.”

“I know,” Rachel throws an arm over the couch. “Girls that sleep with you get desperate and clingy and annoying. She’s different. Affectionate but cautious. Intelligent obviously because she’s got you on a leash but funny. I like her. I don’t like women you normally fuck. The shitter of it is that she probably cares about you more than you realize and doesn’t even know it.”

He leans back, giving Rachel a knowing smile while shaking her head. Rachel and him were friends because she was the only women he could have conversations like this with. Could be honest and insecure without judgement. Had an equally crazy mother whose shadow she lived under her whole life. A lot of people always thought they would end up together but they were just to similar. To broken.

Needed someone else to help get through their emotional burden.

So when she said all of this, the vulgarity of her observation hitting at his ego, he only has one thing he knows to be true to defend himself.

“I’m not good enough for her.”

The words cause silence. So much so that Logan wonders if she’s gone into shock, her eyes watching his with curiosity. Rachel wasn’t a women to shock easily. In fact, most people had the opposite problem with her.

When she finally does find her voice, it’s a soft whisper.

“When is Logan not good enough for someone?”

She’s met with silence as one of her assistants pop out from the curtain you are getting dressed behind, a bubbly smile on her face.

“The first outfit is absolutely superb on her!”

She claps her hands giddily as she pulls the curtains and Rachel’s eyes widen, taking you in the short designer sun dress.

“My, my, I might have to recruit you as a model. What do you think Logan? Think she’s good enough for a Paris runway?”

You are insistent that you aren’t ready for any kind of runaway, let alone for her designs as you check yourself out in the mirror. Even if it does compliment your frame, still not good enough.

Logan; however, felt differently. He turned too late, after everyone else in the store had guffawed and was now struck by the way your body perfectly melded to the fabric, the navy blue and white designs swirling around your bosom distracting him. Your hair that you had thrown in a quick ponytail caressing against your shoulders, teasing your skin as your bright eyes sparkled taking yourself in. Your eyes meet his in the mirror and he holds his breath, at a lost for words.

This is what it feels like to have the wind taken out of you.

He’s unable to hear Rachel call out his name until you turn, looking at him with a huge grin on your face.

“Logan are you ok?”

You voice snaps him out of his trance and he shakes his head, trying to clear his brain of all the thoughts passing through. The most pressing being to push you against the mirror to fuck you senseless and then wrap you in his arms to protect.

What the hell was wrong him? The question for the past 24 hours. He was in deep need of a drink.

“I’m fine.” he falls back deeper into the sofa, his legs falling open as a dark grin graces his face.

“Just thinking about how beautiful you look in that dress.”

The undertone of the statement is evident as his eyes flicker with lust, never leaving yours and you blush, trying to detract from his intense gaze.

“I’d love to try the next outfit Rachel, if that’s ok?”

Rachel, who has been watching the interaction in silence clears her throat, trying to dispel the awkward air as she lifts from the couch lightly.

“Yea, I think that’s probably best even though,” she casts a glance at Logan whose eyes are still watching yours, the look never leaving his face.

“You got him all fired up sweetheart. Doubt you’re going to be able to tame that look down. At least until you leave. And even then…..”

“What?! No its not...Logan and I...” you stumble over your words and she laughs, closing the curtain behind her.

“How the hell have either of you maintained being friends is beyond me. But that's none of my business - fashion is.”

On the other side of the curtain Logan groans, holding his face in his hands.

Perhaps shopping wasn’t the best idea after all.

#ben barnes #logan westworld x reader #Logan westworld AU #logan westworld

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anonymous-wolf22 · 4 years

Text

Survey 3

Reblog | Bold what applies to you;

You have a lava lamp in your room. You like dreamcatchers. You have a flower tattoo. You are allergic to pollen. You were born in November. You love hiking in the woods. Your ideal vacation spot is a big city. You own a Snuggie. You were a huge fan of a celebrity when you were twelve. You’ve gotten lost in a big city. You don’t mind sleeping on the floor. You wish you had more money so you could do more shopping. At times you are are lazy. You are a target for bullies. You love music. You have a food allergy. You sing in the shower. You’ve held a baby. You’ve been to a baby shower. You’ve had an embarrassing moment at a school dance. You’ve passed notes in class and gotten caught. You’ve got a grass stain. You own or once owned plaid shorts. You own a button-up plaid shirt. You own skinny jeans. You own sunglasses. You’ve played a tambourine in church. You’ve danced in church. You don’t like mushrooms. You’ve seen a Broadway show. You have natural blonde hair. You have red hair. You know someone with red hair. You have freckles. You’ve had crutches. You’ve had to wear a cast before. You liked playing with scooters in gym class. You own a flip phone. You dislike texting and prefer people would just call you. You like talking in person better than on the phone. ..but you enjoy talking on the phone, too. There is someone in your life that you would like to get to know more. You’ve been keeping a secret, and you would like to tell it. You have a friend who’s just like you whom you love dearly. You’ve made a lot of mistakes that you wish you could undo. You live in an apartment. You have a basement. You own a telescope. You’ve looked through a telescope at night. You’ve seen an eclipse. You’ve seen a shooting star. You enjoy public speaking. …even though you feel nervous before making a speech. You find holding your breath to be a good cure for hiccups. You’ve been told you look like a certain celebrity. You feel like you could have chosen to be gay, but didn’t. You have curly hair. You wish your eyes were a different color. You’ve been told that you should model. You’ve burnt popcorn. There is something on your heart right now. You have an overdue library book. You can’t find your library card right now. You don’t care what your car looks like; you just want something that runs. You’re allergic to pet dander. You’re allergic to dust. You enjoy parades. You enjoy dressing up in costume. You have a younger brother or sister. You’re an only child. You are/were homeschooled. You like coffee shops. You like worship music. You believe in the supernatural. You enjoy church. You believe there is more to life than what we see and know. You love to worship. You feel a sense of calm when looking at the moon. You’ve been on a missions trip. You love someone. You like paisleys. You’ve driven a tractor. You can write in cursive. You’ve written in calligraphy. You can tap dance. You have a food sensitivity. You have a food intolerance. You believe in a higher power. You’re tired. You like taking selfies.

01. I believe in luck. 02. I believe in horoscopes and fortunes, too. 03. I’m fairly superstitious. 04. I’m feeling quite lucky right now. 05. I love entering raffles. 06. I love the song “Last Chance To Lose Your Keys” by Brand New. 07. I’ve never dyed my hair. 08. I use temporary dye all the time. 09. I have made a party cracker before. 10. I like to make treat bags for trick or treaters on Halloween. 11. I have a Christmas playlist. 12. I feel really good right now. 13. I don’t use candles as often as I’d like to. 14. I especially love the scented ones. 15. I read the newspaper daily. 16. There is an item of clothing I really want right now. 17. That item is a jacket. 18. I adore Polaroid cameras. 19. I don’t use Bing. 20. My friend’s birthday was this week. 21. I want to go to a party. 22. I’ve been to a Halloween party before. 23. I believe in the symbolism of numbers. 24. I know who Taylor Momsen is. 25. And I think she’s gorgeous. 26. I hate when people copy me. 27. I’ve used oil pastels before. (possibly..) 28. I like using them. 29. I cry basically daily. (in secret) 30. I get frustrated so damn easily. 31. I’ve never had a swiss roll. 32. They look amazing, though. 33. I’ve only been to one concert in my life. 34. I enjoyed it a lot, though. 35. I like messing with HTML coding. 36. I admit, I can be a greedy person at times. 37. I can also be very selfish. 38. I get impatient easily. 39. I actually enjoy greasy pizza. 40. At my high school, you only have/had to be a junior to leave campus for lunch. 41. I adore typewriter fonts. 42. I’ve been to a dermatologist before. 43. I feel achey right now. 44. I like to be solids more than stripes in pool. 45. I currently need new earphones. 46. I prefer earbuds. 47. I take antacids often. 48. I usually have a spare hair tie around my wrist. 49. I weigh less now than I did at this time last year. 50. I’ve seen how my favorite celebrity looked as a baby.

You’re a chick. You’re a girl’s girl, as well as a guy’s girl. You’re a freshman in college. You can’t decide if you love it or fucking hate it. You are obsessed with weight loss. You have sleeping problems. You miss someone, a lot more than you like to admit. You get along with people easily. You have a lot of secrets. You like books about murder and drug addicts. You drink soda like water. You secretly listen to country. Your shoulders are sore. You’re extremely self destructive. You take vitamins and fish oils. You always have one headphone in. And it annoys the shit out of people. Your hands are freezing. Your room mate thinks you’re a little weird. You’re blonde, but you don’t wanna be. You used to love your body, but now you despise it. You love to dance. You’ve never had any really good relationships. You hate dates. You hate your parents, but not really. You feel sick right now. You’ve drank about 4 liters of water in the past 10 minutes. You drink too much. You smoke too much. You are a vegetarian, sort of. Ha You’re a closet romantic. You can’t sleep, and you don’t know why. You have a thousand things on your mind. You’re spinning out of control. You’re undeclared. Your clothes are weird. You really need to do your nails. You love your sister more than yourself. You smoke a lot of cigarettes. You’re kind of a burn out. You’re very creative, but don’t know how to channel it. You miss the past more than you should. You’re very independent. You have major trust issues. You have anti depressants, but you don’t take them. You adore cheesecake. You wear dark eye makeup for some reason. People don’t take you seriously, and you like it that way. You have a lot of scars. You’ve lied about some pretty big things. You’re kind of a horrible person. You hate skype, but have one anyway. You edit all your pictures. You live for your cigs, chipotle and sitcoms. You go to weheartit.com a billion times a day. You have a secret blog. Hahaaa. You’re extremely insecure, but you’d never show it. You like to make other people happy. Christmas freaks you out. You had a major emo phase. You have no real goals in life. You miss your best friends. You miss your brothers. You miss not counting calories. You miss sleeping. You love watching the stupid news fluff pieces. Your favorite Kardashian is Kourtney because she has no feelings. You like guys who you know will always let you down. You like guys who have issues and addictions. You have daddy issues. You have mommy issues. You have a lot of issues. You don’t know what to say to therapists. You don’t know what to say in general. Your shoulders are really starting to hurt. You’re hungry, but you’re not gonna eat for a while. You love being alone, and hate it at the same time. You’ve had over 10 hamsters. You feel very insignificant and small in this giant world. Ocean water scares you. But you jump in anyway. You always forget to call back. You’ll always sort of be in love with someone from your past. When you get mad, you start yelling and use your hands a lot. You’re not very attractive without makeup. If you met yourself, you think you’d hate yourself. You like older men (ex. George Clooney) You regret eating so much last night. Your neck is in an extremely uncomfortable position. You have very pale skin. You have a very intense stare. You’re basically fuckin blind. You say fuckin a lot. You hate your smile. You spend way too much time thinking. You like weed cuz it makes you numb. you like alcohol cuz it makes you retarded. Alcoholism and drug addiction runs in your family. You do drugs. You come from a very dysfunctional family. You love going on walks. You don’t know how to get through the rest of this week. You love writing songs lyrics and poems. Your computer is making weird noises and you don’t know why. You’re scared no one will ever want to marry you. You don’t even support marriages, but it still scares you. You fucking love chipotle. You like spazzing out to dubstep. You’d never show anyone your art work. You’ve quit everything you’ve tried. You have had a lot of fucking fun. You’ve been really really heartbroken. You’ve gradually become very sarcastic and fierce. You’re scared. You’re exhausted.

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