Well that was certainly a rollercoaster of emotions--
26 notes
·
View notes
4 :)
mythical creature you think/believe is real?
Definitely @ablogofbipanic
3 notes
·
View notes
i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue
85K notes
·
View notes
My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.
119K notes
·
View notes
my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
89K notes
·
View notes
bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time
62K notes
·
View notes
tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.
39K notes
·
View notes
the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
159K notes
·
View notes
When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.
I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.
One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.
The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?
The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”
I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.
It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.
58K notes
·
View notes
Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo
Shes just a fucking baby
Baby with a 60% successful kill rate
50K notes
·
View notes
gertrude
[ID: a picture of an old, grumpy-looking brown tabby cat gazing dead-eyed into the camera.]
47K notes
·
View notes
> mom spilled trace amount of curry powder on the floor
> cool ok ill sweep it up in a sec
> go to the bathroom, come back
> curry powder is suspiciously less
> cat is suspiciously yellow
86K notes
·
View notes