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aclosetfan · 9 months

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5 for the prompt list! Maybe Brick and Princess are doing villain shenanigans and Boomer is randomly like, “Omg my brother is legally actually capable of getting married! Please don’t split up!” It’s up to you if Brick and Princess actually like each other or if Boomer’s just being sentimental

this ask was a challenge. I don’t think I’ve ever written these three together without one of the girls before. Literally, just three people who’d stare at each other until someone breathed too loudly, and they’d all start yelling. so i added butch

This isn't romantic. Sorry, anon. To me, Princess is gay forever and always no exceptions lololol but this story aint about her. Boomer’s a show stealer. It just is what it is.

Prompt 5: this marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen,

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“Princess!” Brick yelled from the other room, evidently at the end of his rope, “Get it through your thick fucking skull! You broke up with her! She isn’t coming back!”

“I’m not paying you to hear your opinions! I’m paying you to break! Them! Up!” Princess screeched back.

“They’re getting married in a month! Nothing you’ve done has worked! Throw in the towel!”

“Do I have to remind you? You’re under contract, and—and don’t walk away from me!” Princess stomped after Brick, “We have work to do! There’s no way in hell I’ll allow this wedding to happen!”

“No!” Brick bellowed, “I’m done! I quit! This relationship is over!”

A door somewhere in the depths of Princess’s Mega-McMansion slammed shut, echoing down the large, empty marbled halls. Princess and Brick’s argument was now muted, moving deeper into the labyrinth Princess called home. Boomer’s head shot up from the massage table at the sound of the door slamming shut. Their argument planted a seed of panic in his gut, and he scrambled to get off the table. He kicked the masseuse away and ripped the layers of fine linens and silks he had draped over himself earlier that morning. However, as tangled up as he was in the imprisoning grandeur, he fell to the floor in one massive heap.

“Butch,” He hissed at his brother across the room, “Butch, did you hear that?”

“Hard to miss.” Butch sniffed, eyes glued to his phone. He sat in an obnoxiously big recliner, which, at this point, was practically molded to his body.

Boomer scoffed, waving off the masseuse’s attempt to help him up, “Stop acting so casual! This is bad!”

“Uh-huh.” Butch flatly agreed.

Boomer freed himself from the expensive fabrics and jumped up, fixing the Gucci sunglasses that sat askew on his head. He shuffled over to Butch, careful not to let his freshly pedicured toes touch the ground.

“This can’t be happening!” He whined, pulling his mulberry silk robe tight around him as if he had pearls that he could be clutching.

“Welp,” Butch popped the ‘p,’ placing his ratty ass sneakers onto the gold-leafed and marbled coffee table Princess had imported from Italy, “it is, so, yep.”

“No,” Boomer shook his head, disturbing his beautifully deep-conditioned golden curls, “No, no, I’ve grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. I can’t be poor again. I can’t drink tap water. My palette is far too delicate for harsh minerals. I know that now, an-and I can’t just go back!” He brought a hand to his chest, “Oh god, I think I’m having a panic attack. This can’t be happening! Where’s Jeeves? Or Carmichael? I need a vitamin water, now, or—or—” He threw himself across the fainting couch, ringing his tiny service bell, ”—we have to do something, Butch!”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yeah,” Boomer sat up, accepting a vitamin water from Carmichael and a protein-infused snack, “We have to—” he talked through a mouthful, “—do something, you’re right.”

“I did not say that.”

He continued to stuff his face as Carmichael fluffed and placed a luxurious cashmere pillow behind his back and dabbed at the crumbs at the corners of his mouth.

“This is making me stress eat, and Stacy—” Boomer shuddered as he thought about his poor beloved personal trainer “—will not be happy. What are we going to do!”

“Nothing.”

“Couples counseling? Maybe a honeymoon?” He mused, gesturing for Carmicheal to fan him, “Tahiti's wonderful this time of year.”

Butch didn’t respond.

“If they get divorced, what are we going to tell HIM? They’ve already made plans for Christmas—” For a moment, this seemed to be a sweet sentiment, until Boomer tacked on, “—on Princess’s dime! I don’t want to lose a vacation!”

Butch groaned and put his phone down, “Princess and Brick aren’t actually married. You get that, right? This is all just an elaborate plan to make Blossom jealous and stop her from marrying that Robin chick. As much as we’d like it to, this—” Butch gestured around the room, “—wasn’t ever going to last.”

Boomer followed Butch’s hand gestures with a frown. He loved this room with its big bay windows and indoor water features. He had scoped it out for his and Butch’s personal use the moment they had stepped foot in the McMansion. Princess had only requested Brick’s services, but Boomer had shown up anyway and dragged Butch along. It had been maybe the best decision of his life. Even if he was technically freeloading, he now considered this room his home.

“I just don’t think I can say goodbye to all the memories we’ve made here.” He sighed.

Butch’s eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, “We’ve been here, like, two weeks. Frankly, I’m surprised Brick’s made it this long.”

“Long enough to form a bond!” He argued.

“With Princess?”

“No, with all the cool stuff!”

“What are you talking about!” Butch sneered, “We can just steal all this shit. We usually do steal all this shit! And it’s not like Princess would care. Like, seriously, Boomer, I doubt Princess would even notice if Carmichael went missing—” He grimaced, “—uh, no offense, Carmichael.”

“None taken, sir.” Carmichael bowed.

“But I don’t want to steal it,” Boomer fell back onto the fainting couch, a breath away from throwing his own Princess-sized tantrum, “I don’t want to do the work. I don’t wanna! I want it to all be right here at my fingertips forever and always!”

“Yeah, I know, you’re fucking lazy.” Butch sniffed, “I get it.”

“Like, why can’t Brick just do this one thing for us? Why can’t he stay fake married?” Boomer asked, voice thick with tears, “Don’t I deserve nice things? And fancy food? And expensive jewelry?”

“Well, one day, if you’re lucky, you can be fake married to.”

Boomer sucked in a breath and shot back up, “Oh my god. They’re not actually married.”

“Yeah,” Butch deadpanned, “welcome to the fucking plot.”

“No, Butch, they’re not actually married."

“I just said that.”

“Do you know what this means?” Boomer asked, diving towards the minibar.

Butch watched him carefully, “uh, they’re not actually married?”

“Exactly!” He cackled, shaking a bottle of Bacardi. “But not for long! Don’t you think it’s about time we threw our happy couple a little wedding shower?”

Butch regarded him and the bottle of booze as he connected the dots, “Wait, dude, are you saying—”

“—that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Boomer’s smile grew into something menacing, and it wasn’t long before Butch’s face mirrored his own.

“Give me twenty minutes,” Butch jumped up, “I’ll go get a minister license online.”

“Perfect! I’ll round up a few witnesses.”

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Extra:

“I can’t believe you’ve done this! I can’t believe you got me drunk and married to Princess, on purpose, for money!” Brick looked up from the toilet bowl he was puking his guts out into, “It’s plain evil!”

“You’re fine!”

“We’re going to get a divorce, you know that, right! The marriage means nothing! Your little scheme was all for nothing! Why can’t you ever think things—”

“—girlie,” Boomer sniffed, interrupting him, “did you sign a prenup?”

Brick froze, thinking it over.

“Exactly.” Boomer smirked, taking a long sip of his boba.

#not so much princess and brick #but definitely has boomer lol #i couldn't think of any scenario where Brick and Princess would willingly get married #prompt ask game!#second time ive done this prompt and they're wildly different

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curedeity · 2 years

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Shogun Steel Episode 8:

-whats that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! Its misogyny!

-i do like the idea of the gang going around ti show off the cyclone stadium, but i do remember them going through it too quick

-side note i love how everyone is standing casually while tsubasa talks to them while shinobu is stiff as a board. Hes such a fucking disaster.

-the line readings are kinda stiff this scene im really wondering if it was just a problem with scene length

-"the dream of holding a beyblade world tournament! I have really fond memories of my mental breakdown!"

-zyro and maru traveling together! Zyro and maru bonding! Only not because theyre gonna skip over it!

-shinobu teaching everyone how to battle by kicking their asses

-eight shouldve tried to skate into the stadium

-honestly if people tried to teach me like this id unionize against them

-sidenote at this point i actually left to watch a nice lesbian anime with my brother so i know that i am now in the perfect state for this episode to dissappoint me.

-sakyo should be the youngest of the older cast. Just for his intro line.

-okay i do like the lead up to be a left rotating bey, the way kite talks doesnt immediately clue us into that but going back already knowing it makes that line hit

-takanosuke is here legit to steal rens job again!!!! Bro!!!! How are you so misogynist! Ren isnt even allowed to have her time! Takanosuke has to ruin it!

-"im going to beat zyro and shinobu and become the ultimate gay!" You cant be the ultimate gay if you dont respect women takanosuke

-if they make ren lose again i swear to fucking god-

-"GrIiIifIiIn" have i mentioned i love takanosukes voice actor

-takanosuke can you stop being so demeaning

-hi sakyo im gonna shoot your ass

-sakyo is here to surpass ryugas legacy of misogyny

-why does sakyo talk like that, i forgot he did

-the choir music pfffft

-im so sorry im so sorry guys but sakyo kinda sounds like a cowboy to me-

-okay an actual cool battle trick from shinobu

-"WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN MY BATTLE? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ALL OF MY BATTLES? I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO PUNCH HIM WHEN I MEET HIM BECAUSE HE IS FUCKING DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME"

-"i dont need a reason. I just hate women."

-omg now theyre talking about ryuga honestly guys stop making him sound so cool he was a little idiot without any common sense. He didnt know how to interact with a kid.

-time for rens fourth loss in a row. Im not bitter.

-DID HE FUCKING THROW REN OF THE PLATFORM I AM SO MAD. BITCH I HOPE YOU FALL IN A PIT AND BLEED OUT

-did not like that scene did not like this at all. Has very hikaru getting beaten in two seconds just to establish a mans power vibes. At least hikaru had a win before that.

-takanosuke stop holding ren like that pleade

-takanosuke watches sakyo be misogynist and is like "yeah thats the type of blader i wanna be!"

-takanosuke is getting karmic treatment for his introduction

-OH SO TAKANOSUKE IS ALLOWED TO CHALLENGE SAKYO BUT NOT REN MHM BECAUSE WOMEN CAN ONLY BE QUICKLY DEFEATED WITHOUT BEING GIVEN A CHANCE

-"those two beys are so much alike! Just like their users misogyny!"

-i need pics of manga sakyo to clear my palette

-sakyos only goal is to fucking demean people

-bro whered you even get ronin dragoon did you just find it in a cliff somewhere and decide it was time to be a theater kid now

-i hate the anime versions of both takanosuke and sakyo

-shinobu has been hilarious this whole episode

-omg this guy looks like aguma

-akuya. They arent even trying.

-maru should go kick them in the kneecaps

-summary: i dont know if i hate this episode or episode 6 more but both of them are awful. The blatant misogyny of this series in specific becomes apparent every time ren is on screen. Its awful. There are very little redeeming qualities this episode and ultimately i think it was a terrible mistake. Sakyo and takanosuke both deserve violence commited against them in the name of feminism.

#beyblade #beyblade metal fight #beyblade shogun steel #mfb #deity rewatches shogun steel to bully it #and to lose her mental health #i take damage every time ren is treated poorly

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liquidstar · 2 years

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Same anon again 👋 how did saiph and mira become siblings? Also what hobbies do the main cast have? Or do they not have time for that?

omg hi anon!!! im happy to see you again :) thank you for sending another oc ask omg... my hero 🥺

Saiph and Mira were both brought into the guild at around the same time! Mira was a newborn and Saiph was about a year old, since they were both close in age they were always paired together from the getgo. They both know they’re not “biologically related” but that never mattered in the slightest because they were basically raised as siblings (even if it’s not in a typical nuclear family dynamic) so when they refer to each other they’d always say “my brother” or “my sister” like there’s absolutely no question about it. Some of the other kids that were raised together since they were young share similar dynamics, Felis takes on a bit of an older sister role with Saiph and Mira, who in turn are like cool older siblings to the younger kids of the guild. But with people around their age who joined later on in life they just see each other as childhood friends, or new friends entirely for people who joined very recently.

Also yeah the main cast totally have hobbies! Aside from training with whatever their weapon of choice is that is lol

Polaris is into maps, so like, orienteering and making her own maps and layouts of places she’s been, or just generally keeping track of her location. She’ll collect old maps and study cartography and everything. Also hiking by extent but she takes notes the entire time- She’s based on the pole star after all, she’s a navigator.

Saiph actually likes cooking, like, he’s good at it and everything. He’s pretty much the go-to foodprep person whenever they go on missions. Part of the joke is that he can start his own fire but in reality if he DID do that he would actually just burn the food to a crisp, so his methods are completely natural. Suicidality be damned my boy can work a campfire.

Bella is the one who throws herself into work the most (It’s why she’s the highest ranked despite being the last of the group to join before Polaris). She has things she likes, like sweets and stuffed animals and shoes with a lot of spikes in them. But she doesn’t really put in time to do much with them. In theory though she would take up cake decorating, it looks peaceful and when you’re done you get a reward (To eat the cake).

Al won competitive chess championships at age 9, but don’t tell his friends because they’re assholes and they will make fun of him for being a dork. Until he challenges them to a game and kicks all their asses. He’s not rusty because he regularly goes to the park to completely eviscerate the old people sitting by the chess table, he won’t show mercy on this. Also yeah it’s partly just a joke about his black and white color palette.

Mira likes birdwatching, because, you know. Wind powers. Birds. It all lines up. Butterflies too, she likes the freedom and grace of anything that flies. Since they all travel a lot for missions she actually gets to see all sorts of birds and the like from different places. At the moment she’s looking to find a kingfisher. This is important for reasons.

Anonymous asked: Also does felis still not speak?

Felis speaks now, she didn’t for a few years as a kid but she had the help of Vesta who was assigned to help her, though speaking again was Felis’s choice and not something forced onto her. In fact she actually talks a lot now, she jokes that it’s to offset the time she spent not talking. That being said she was taught a bit of sign langauge as a kid and nowadays it comes in handy for communicating with Noctua, who’s selectively mute and only talks to his stuffed animal, and Ran, who just doesn’t have a mouth. Her big sister role extends to everyone, really!

#finn's ocs

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syrupyyyart · 3 years

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2D Forest Mob looking up to 2H Reigen with maybe a palette like all star?

spirit convinces local esper child not to exorcise him.png

#hes a ghost now #reigen arataka #mob psycho 100 #arataka reigen #Shigeo Kageyama #mob #fanart #palette challenge #sorry for all the mp100 lately. back to normal content #that all star palette really kicked my ass #my art

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enchantedpendant · 3 years

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Could I maybe get a Kakashi + 3C + Fistfight with God for the color/emotion palette challenge? 👀👉👈 Thank you!

#kakashi hatake #naruto #dani draws #you could! and youre welcome kind anon<3 #sorry for the delay lol ob/gyn had been kicking my ass these last two months #emotion/color palette challenge #i havent drawn shit in two months and im tryna fight through the art block lol #and this color palette is perfect for it i think! v adventurous #or at least for my standards haha #also i'll try to work on the rest of this challenge soon enough lol

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the-soupiest-artist · 3 years

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FEBHUEARY STARTS TODAY

Because I got into a depressive rut during Huevember and I wanted to try again. And because I know @lazyvoyager did Febhueary last year, WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO SEE ALL OF LAZY’S WONDERFUL ART!! Then again it always is. I really enjoyed it and I want to actually finish a drawing challenge for once.

SO HERE WE GOOOOOOOO (I know it still says huevember I’m just doing the same challenge just in a different month)

If anyone would like to join me in this endeavor please feel free too!! It would be so nice to see all the other wonderful art people have done!!

#febhueary 2021 #febhueary #art challenge #art #Layne speaks #I know this is still the same palette from huevember #I’m just scared of cancel culture coming to kick my ass because of this post.

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

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Master Post - The Untamed

All of my CQL original content! This consolidates & replaces my previous CQL masterposts.

You MAY repost any gifs or images from ANY of my “Restless Rewatch” posts as long as you credit me (Canary3d) or my blog (@canary3d-obsessed) somewhere in your post or comment. For non-Restless Rewatch images, please ask me first. (If you’re using Tumblr’s weird gif feature there’s no need to ask because that embeds a credit and it’s impossible to tell if it came from a RR post or not).

Restless Rewatch Gifs and Memes

Restless Rewatch Full Posts

Now also on AO3: Restless Rewatch: The Untamed by Canary3d

I’ve updated these links with gaps between the A and B parts, so hopefully they will work properly in the phone app, unlike before. If they’re still not working, please drop me a note, thanks!

Ep 40 (part one) and (part 2) (NEW)

Ep 39 (part one) and (part 2) and (part 3)

Ep 38 (A) and (B)

Ep 37 (A) and (B)

Ep 36 (A) and (B)

Ep 35 (A) and (B)

Ep 34 (A)

Ep 33 (A) and (B)

Ep 32 (A) and (B)

Ep 31 (A) and (B)

Ep 30 (A) and (B)

Ep 29 (A) and (B)

Ep 28 (A)

Ep27 (A) and (B)

Ep26 (A) and (B)

Ep25 (A) and (B)

Ep24 (A) and (B)

Ep23 (A) and (B)

Ep22 (A) and (B)

Ep21(A) and (B)

Ep20 (A) and (B) and (C)

Ep19 (A) and (B)

Ep18: (A) and (B)

Ep17 (A) and (B)

Ep 16: (A) and (B)

Ep15 (A)

Ep14 (A) and (B)

Ep13 (A) and (B)

Ep12 (A) and (B) and EXTRAS

Ep11 (A) and (B)

Ep10 (A) and (B)

Ep09 (A) and (B)

Ep08 (A) and (B)

Ep07 (A) and (B)

Ep06 (A) and (B)

Ep05 (A) and (B)

Ep04 (A) and (B)

Ep03 (A)

Ep02 (A)

Ep01 (A)

Restless Writing Prompts

Clipper’s Guide to The Untamed

Mo Dao Zu Shi Adaptations Available in English

Parallels

I love digging into the many, many visual, stylistic, and thematic parallels in The Untamed.

A cave, a baby, a fever

Wrist Holding: Parting & Reunion

The Blurry Sword of Doom

Bichen at Wei Wuxian’s Throat

The Honor of a Glance (more of a “see how time changes things” than a parallel, exactly)

Troublemaker (ditto above)

Letting Go

Arm Holding on Mount Yeet - Gif Overlay Challenge

Protective Lans

Putting Lan Zhan to Bed

A Gentleman’s Revenge

Answer Me

When the Man Comes Around

I Am Leaving

You Touch It You Buy It

The Sky is Vast and the Earth is Wide

Pay It Forward

Wen Ning’s Boat Rides

(Here’s a cut so I don’t kill your dashboard)

Holding on/Letting go

Don’t Cry

Having a Spat, Yunmeng Style

Like Father, Like Son

Let Me Carry You

Never

Great Idea, Thanks Bro

Assorted Gifs & Memes & Stuff

Mood: Serious

Lan Wangji Watching Wei Wuxian, Episode 33

Wei Wuxian screaming with Xiao Zhan’s voice

Rainy Argument 1 | 2 | 3

Rainy

World’s Second-Worst Party Guest

Wei Wuxian is here to make you feel better

Yu Ziyuan’s daughter

If you don’t trust me, how can you help me?

Do You Want Revenge?

Wei Wuxian Blindfolding Jiang Cheng

Contemplating the Future

Which unlucky family’s place did you take?

Hands, Episode 16

Zidian Beatdown

A Man Should Have Scars

Trauma Survivor Wei Wuxian

Mood: Neutral

Reciting the Lan rules at the Wen indoctrination

Question and Answer Time

Lan Zhan, do you like rabbits?

Right in Front of Lil Apple’s Apple Salad

Jiang Cheng and his facial expressions

Besties

Wei Wuxian wants you to know: you’re awesome

LWJ looking at WWX

I adore you//Fucking hell

Color Palette Challenge

Blindfolded

The many loves of Wei Wuxian

Significant Glances

Flute Fixing

Study Time in Yiling

Single Plank Bridge (Untamed/Yanxi Palace)

Soft Papa

WWX Jumps into Battle

Wen Siblings @ Burial Grounds

Flower Boys

Flower Boy Nie Huaisang

Fisherman Nie Huaisang

Kicking Your Ass: Teen Edition

Kicking Your Ass: Adult Edition

This Beautiful Hothead

Mood: Silly

The Adventures of Paperman (NEW)

New Problems Have Appeared (NEW)

Let’s have a cooking sequence but make it terrible

That Twitter/Tumbler Meme but it’s CQL

Reactions to Sisi’s Story, Ep 45

Wangxian Communication

The Untamed as Dear Prudie Letters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Curses, cockblocked again

The Tuber of Disappointment

Wei Wuxian & Wen Kexing

Wen Qing and the Lan Nymphs

No Time for Necromancy

When the landlord says it’s ok to repaint

How did you express the pain (WOH spoiler!)

The Untamed as Psychology Today Articles

Voice Actor Wang Kai Yelling at Xiao Zhan

Half-Incorrect Subtitles

Wangxian Brothel AU

Nie Mingjue Yells Merry Christmas

Wei Wuxian making out with his Lunch

Wei Wuxian x Unnecessarily Erotic Drinking

Nie Huaisang Reporting In

Strong Hanguang Jun

Jiang Cheng’s Purple Jammies

Wei Wuxian searches Xue Yang

Adolescent’s observation

Failmaster Lan Qiren

Oh No He Noticed

Super Regularly

Oh Crap! Act Normal!

Emergency Hairpieces

Acceptability Review Meeting Episode 45/46

Acceptability Review Meeting Episode 45

Fanvids

Drinking, Drinking, Drinking

Xue Yang/Dandy Highwayman

Fight Moves/You Spin Me

Wei Wuxian/Not an Addict

Fanfic

Fractured Spirit (Warning: EXPLICIT)

Other Stuff

Adoption meta

#the untamed #canary3d-original #this combines all my previous untamed masterposts #into one untamed master masterpost #masterpost

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quickspinner · 4 years

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Side by Side

Written for the LBSC sprint fic challenge. If you’d like to join in follow @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers for more information!

Challenge rules:

Pick a prompt and write for that prompt in up to three 15 minute sprints. No writing outside the sprints until you have completed all three! After the 3 sprints are complete, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions, etc). After those 24 hours, post what you’ve got!

Prompt: "As long as I'm next to you, I don't care"

More information on the challenge here!

“You don’t have to stay with me, you know,” she says, distracted, around the pins in her mouth. Her brow is wrinkled and her expression is one of concentration. “This has to be really boring for you.”

“It’s not.”

Marinette huffs in a way that can’t be safe considering her mouthful of pins. “I’m totally ignoring you.”

Luka smiles, and strums his guitar. “As long as I’m next to you, I don’t care. You don’t have to entertain me. I just like being with you.”

Marinette shoots him a look from under her bangs, one that is part reproach and part amusement, but as her eyes fall back to her work, he can see the corner of her smile shift the pins, and the touch of a blush on her cheek. He grins, and strums on.

***

“You really don’t have to do this,” he tells her with a gusty sigh as he plops down beside her in the blanket nest they’ve made on the Liberty’s deck. A matching one made of pink and purple blankets waits a short ways off. “It’s Jules’ turn to pick. We could have gone somewhere else.”

“That’s not really fair, though,” Marinette pointed out, snuggling into his side. “She sits through the movies that we pick. We can’t just ditch her when it’s her night to pick.”

Luka makes a face. “Yeah, but…I know how much you hate horror movies.”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighs, making a face that matches his. “But as long as I’m next to you, I don’t care.” He grins and lifts his arm and she snuggles into his side. “Besides,” Marinette adds, resting her head on his shoulder as they get settled in the blanket nest. The smell of popcorn warns them that Juleka and Rose are on their way. “Nobody ever actually pays attention to the movie on movie night.”

Luka grins and kisses her, and then picks up a piece of popcorn from the handful Juleka flings at them and pops it in his mouth.

***

“I’m sorry,” she gasps as they land on the balcony. Ignoring the blinding flash of pink and green light that follows, he throws his arms around her and crushes her to him. “That wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

Luka says nothing, just curls closer around her, and buries his face in her shoulder. For once, he’s not careful, and Marinette sinks under his weight, and they end up kneeling on the floor of the balcony. Marinette presses close, turns her face to kiss his hair, but he doesn’t move. Finally, she has to push at him gently. “Luka, we can’t stay up here.”

“Don’t make me let go,” he pleads. “Not yet.”

“Okay,” Marinette says, but she breaks his hold, and takes his face in her hands, forcing him to lift his eyes to hers. “But not here.” His long fingers wrap tightly around her wrist, but he fists the other against his chest. She fumbles behind her one-handed for the latch, and somehow gets it open despite the awkward angle. Sass is at Luka’s shoulder, whispering, and Luka is nodding, but he won’t, or can’t, let go of his grip on Marinette.

She pulls him down through the skylight, and then they’re in a heap on her bed, trying to arrange themselves. “I’m sorry,” she says distractedly as she finally manages to slot herself up against him and wrap her arms tight around him. “I know it’s a bit cramped.”

“As long as I’m next to you, I don’t care,” he gasps, and then he’s sobbing into her hair. Marinette can only hold him and press close, so he can feel that she’s here and alive. She’s not sure what she saw, but Viperion’s stricken face when he looked at her after the battle—stared at her in disbelief and fear and maybe even denial—she knows it was bad, and she knows that whatever he might have suspected before, now he knows.

She holds him until he falls asleep, and has a quiet conference with Tikki and Sass. When dawn comes, Luka shimmies down the outer wall of the bakery, the snake miraculous still glinting on his wrist.

***

“Are you really sure about this?” Luka asks with a sigh. “You know how demanding he is.”

“I can handle it for a summer,” Marinette assures him.

“I’m not even sure I can handle it for a summer,” Luka grumbles, looking at the huge, ostentatious tour bus with a sense of dread that he would die before admitting to Jagged or anyone else besides Marinette. “And all I have to do is stand where they tell me and play. There’s no telling what craziness he’s going to ask you to do.”

“As long as I’m next to you, I don’t care,” Marinette says, reaching up to cup his cheek and make him look at her. “Hey. We’ve faced a lot worse than eccentric rockstar together. It’ll be fine, and this way I don’t have to be away from you for a whole summer. I know this is hard for you, with all the...drama, between him and your mom. I know you must have questions and I don’t want you to have to face this alone.”

He bends down and kisses her, not even caring who’s watching, wrapping his arms round her waist and pulling her as close as he can get her. There’s whooping and catcalls from somewhere behind them but Luka doesn’t care, overwhelmed with love for her and touched by her concern for him.

Marinette giggles when he finally pulls back. “Exhibitionist.”

Luka shrugs and grins. “Gotta get used to the audience sometime.”

***

“Are you really sure about this?” Marinette sighs, straightening Luka’s collar and fixing his tie. “I’m afraid you’re going to be miserable all night.”

“It’s just a party, Marinette,” Luka shrugs. “I can handle a party.”

Marinette wrinkles her nose. “It’s a stuffy, schmooze-the-rich-people party. You’re going to spend the whole night following me around bored out of your mind.”

Luka smiles at her. “As long as I’m next to you, I don’t care. Besides, this is your dream. I want to be there. For all of it, not just the glamorous parts. And you know I love watching you in your element, talking shop and kicking ass with that pretty little smirk on your face.” Marinette giggles and he dares a quick lean forward to kiss her forehead. “Maybe I can’t do much to help, but I can at least be with you.”

“You always help,” Marinette tells him, smoothing his suit coat down before stepping back. Her gaze shifts from critical to appreciative and he suddenly feels warm. “You’re presentable. Let’s go.” She turns to grab her purse and Luka’s eyebrows soar.

“Is it me, or did the back of that dress get a lot lower than the last time you showed it to me?” he asks, and Marinette smirks at him over her shoulder.

“I can’t give away all my secrets before the big night,” she says, coming back to take his arm. “I wouldn’t want you to get bored with me.”

Luka has to laugh at that. “You could never be boring. But I appreciate the effort.” He drops his hand to her extremely bare lower back to guide her towards the door. “Very much.”

“Come on,” Marinette says capturing his hand and arranging his arm back where it belongs, with her hand at the crook of his elbow. “We took down Hawkmoth. A bunch of stuffy old rich jerks are going to be a piece of cake.”

The comparison gives away her nerves, so he just covers her hand with his own and presses as they go down the steps to the taxi waiting for them.

***

“Luka,” Marinette complains, dropping a stack of magazines on the counter. “You’re not even listening.”

Luka sighs and tries to smile. He’s not a morning person and while he’s glad Marinette’s excited, he’s having trouble waking his brain up enough to care about napkins and color palettes and frilly decorations. “I’m listening,” he says, leaning his cheek on one hand. “But I might hear more if you let me finish my coffee first.”

Marinette pouts, and snatches his cup from him, taking it to the coffee pot to refill it. She sets it in front of him and sits down at the table, folding her arms and looking like she has every intention of watching him drink it so that she can hold him to his word.

He opens his mouth and Marinette points at him accusingly before he can say anything. “Don’t you dare say you don’t care,” she warns. “This is our wedding, Luka.”

Luka picks up his coffee cup. “We’ve been engaged for a week, Marinette,” he points out before sipping it. “It’s not that I’m not excited—” He’s so excited, and the sight of the ring on her finger makes him nearly giddy. “But we do have time.”

“Luka,” Marinette groans, tipping her head back. “When do we ever have time?”

Luka pauses, the cup nearly at his lips, suddenly considering his schedule and hers and how hard it was to even remotely coordinate their work so that they could spend what free time they had together. “Okay, point,” he conceded, and sighed, drinking his coffee a little faster. “And I do care, but at the same time, I don’t.” He gave her a smile that he was sure looked utterly besotted—which was fine, since he was. “I just want to marry you.”

She smiles back at him, softer this time, and he takes another sip of coffee before he adds, “And I want to wear a kilt.”

Her expression goes from sweet to shocked so fast he nearly choked on his coffee trying not to laugh. “A kilt?” she demands, slamming her hands on the table. “You want to—but you never—now you decide to be Scottish??”

Luka bites his lip to keep in his laughter and shrugs. “Tuxes are boring.”

Marinette splutters for a moment, and Luka drains the last of his coffee before reaching over to pull her into his lap. “Come on,” he coaxes, rubbing his nose against hers and dropping a couple of light kisses on her lips. “We’ll get it all figured out and it’ll be beautiful, and half a dozen things will go wrong—”

“And I won’t care as long as I’m next to you at the end of it,” Marinette reluctantly admits, looping her arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss him more thoroughly. “I’m still going to make you look at ten different place settings,” she warns, and Luka shrugs good-naturedly.

“Can we cuddle while we look?” he asks, nuzzling her jaw. “We can look at every china pattern that ever existed. I don’t care as long as I’m next to you.”

Marinette giggles and kisses his forehead. “Sap.”

“You sure you don’t want to just go down to city hall right now?” he sighs, laying his head on her shoulder.

“Oh no you don’t,” she scolds, pushing him back. “You’re not cheating me out of my dream wedding with your—Couffaineness. First of all do you have any idea the kind of hell that would descend on us from my Maman’s half of the family alone—”

Luka puts his head back down on her shoulder and lets her rant on, smiling to himself as he closes his eyes. As long as she’s next to him, he really doesn’t care about anything else.

Fiction Master Post

#quickspins #lbsc sprint fic challenge #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #miraculousladybug #miraculous ladybug #ml fics

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katsukikitten · 4 years

Text

Ready Set COOK!

A/N have this random ass fic I cranked out cause I watched some food network. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it!

"Y/N is arguable the best cook in the dorms." Mina says salivating over the thought of dinner as 1A figures out what they are going to try to convince you to make.

"Tch. Yea fucking right. I cook the best!" Bakugou chimes in suddenly flipping through the channels with fever.

"Ha!" You laugh dryly, "Maybe when I'm having a bad day."

He grinds his teeth as he glares at you, channel surfing forgotten.

"Let's settle this." He snarls although he barely moves from his lounging position.

"How do you declare we do that spicy boi?" A hush suddenly falls over the room at your most recent and his most hated nickname.

Explosions threaten to pop but the TV blares before he can.

"THIS WEEK ON COOK OFF!"

"OH OH!" Kirishima pipes in, jumping up to point at the TV frantically.

"Fuck no." Bakugou bites out, sending daggers the red heads way.

"Oh come on Bakugou it will be fun!" He whines only to be shut down again. This time with an explosion. The hot head jumps to his feet with smoking hands.

"I SAID FUCK NO!"

"Why? Too scared you'll get your ass kicked?" You prompt, looking at your nails as you speak. He stalks your way leaning over you as you sit on the couch.

"I'm too scared you'll lose so badly you'll have to commit seppuku to regain your honor." The tension is palpable in the large living room, making some of the students feel small from its weight.

"Oh so you admit you worry about me?" You say in your most flirtatious voice, placing your hand onto his shoulder because you love to get under his skin. He jerks back with crazed eyes.

"I don't give a fuck about any of you extras!"

"Good! Now we need judges. Todoroki?" You ask but Bakugou shakes his head.

"His palette is as expanded as a fucking toddler's." The ash blonde shakes his head, "Mother fucker eats cold soba for breakfast lunch AND dinner."

"Ouch." An invisible arrow pierces the two toned boy in the chest.

"Well..." You look around the room, "It can't be biased..."

"Deku? Oh no wait then you'll use him as an *excuse* when you lose." You giggle, his cheeks burn from the sound.

"Fuck you and fuck Deku." He snarls, "What about Shinso?"

"Aaahh that's a good one. He hates everyone equally." You chime in, placing your hand in your chin as you look over your peers.

"Wow glad you noticed." He rolls his amethyst eyes although he does not object.

"Oh Denki!" You point at the electric

"OMG YES MY TIME TO SHINE BABY!" He fists his hands into the pants of your legs, so happy to be included.

"NO! Not pikachu! His brain is FRIED!" Bakugou snarls and Denki let's out a sad 'hey' while a crocodile tear rolls down his cheek.

"Yes, that's what would make him the best wild card! You'll never know what he's gonna think!" You absentmindedly let your hand pet over the curve of his skull.

Part of you wonders if suggesting him is a bad idea. Your eyes flicker to the TV just to see someone asking the sweating chefs what they are planning.

"Kirishima can be the host!" You say with excitement, "Now we just need one more judge. Someone who likes to eat."

Silence settles over the room aside from the now low roar of the TV

"I've got it!" Your new ruby eyed host pipes in, "I'll ask Sun Eater senpai!"

"He's so meek. How are you going to get him to agree?" You ask as a some what devilish smile crosses his face.

"Oi, I forgot you came in after. Poor guy got pestered by shitty hair until he said yes to taking him to his agency." Bakugou crosses his arms.

"We'll compete tomorrow! I've got to prepare!" You stare after Kirishima who runs to get his phone, you cant see him bullying someone into helping him.

×××××××××

You had never been proven more wrong as you stand in the dorms over sized kitchen in front of the panel of judges.

Shinso who looks bored, Denki who reminds you of a kid hopped up on sugar and a petrified Tamaki.

"Welcome chefs!" Kirishima announces, it's funny how quickly he made the kitchen look much like the studio. Even forcing you and Bakugou into real chef jackets while Kirishima wears one of his suits.

"Oi, you really went all out." He growls, somehow making the compliment sound like an insult. You roll your eyes before you let them linger over Bakugou. Much like you he wears the black jacket with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, he has a towel resting over a broad shoulder.

Somehow this outfit makes your cheeks burn. You swallow, looking out over the "live" audience, aka class 1A with every chair they could find in the dorm piled into the smallest part of the kitchen.

Sitting on the edges of their seats.

"Today the two of you will be placed head to head agaisnt one another to become UA's top chef!" Kirishima announces with gusto even earning a small cheer from the audience.

"Tonights prize does not only include bragging rights BUT this!" He gestures widely to the obviously paper mache trophy, Bakugou snorts.

"Really? You could have asked Momo over there?" He points in the dark and Kirishima blushes a bit. Although he is saved as Momo walks towards the front, not breaking the attire with her long sleep dress that looks more like a ball room gown. Kirishima thanks her silently before punching the old trophy off with the new one.

"Who will when this amazing trophy and the title of UA's top chef?" Kirishima looks to the audience before adding, "Let's find out!"

"Contestants, today's challenge is broken down into three parts. Appetizer, entree and dessert! The three dishes must meld flawlessly with one another! You have ten minutes to look over the ingredients and come up with a meal plan. Starting.....now!"

The two of you jump, pulling open at the two large fridges behind you to be met with an array of vegetables and meats.

"Are they like timed?" Shinso asks, as he twirls his fork.

"Good question, Shinso. Yes each portion of the competition will be timed!"

As you begin to put together your game plan you rush towards the pantry. Fear making you hesitate, the pantry was mostly empty just yesterday.

"Oi! Open the fucking door!" A yell behind you before you rip open the cabinet with blatant rage.

Surprisingly the pantry is popping at the seams, ingredients pop out at you that you hastily grab.

"Chefs your time is up! You have fifteen minutes to begin prepare your first dish! GO!"

Excitement pushes your body into motion as you slice bacon strips down the middle. Your thoughts compete with the vigorous chopping from the station next to you as you delicately wrap sliced puff pastry around the now bacon wrapped asparagus.

"Chef Bakugou what are you preparing?"

"Use your fucking eyes." He growls, adding something to a bowl.

"Hey..." Kirishima sounds crestfallen, almost hurt and its hurt enough for Katuski to sigh.

"Alright alright. I'll tell you. Stop pouting!" He chops into a radish harshly to emphasize his point before going on.

"I believe its important to go a little on the lighter side for a starter. Almost refreshing cleanses the palette." Your ears perk at his deep voice as you pull your starter from the oven, "So I'm making a radish and cucumber salad with rice vinager and chili flakes for a small kick."

"It looks wonderful chef!" Kirshima comments before adding, "Five minutes to plate!"

"Shit..." You hiss to yourself as you delicately arrange your asparagus twists, while popping hands roast sesame seeds in an instant before tossing them into the salad.

The two if you plate, arrange and present until kirishima finally shouts

"TIMES UP! STEP AWAY FROM THE PLATES!" Both of you back away with raised hands.

"First up. Y/N-chan." Kirishima says happily as the judges look over their food.

Shinso takes a bite first.

"Flavorful. Savory. Its delicious." Is all he offers as he eats his second.

"Kaminari?" Kirishima prompts. Denki is smiling ear to ear before a rare seriousness washes over his features as he chews.

"I dont like asparagus." He states with a harsh tone.

"IM FUCKED!" You scream internally.

"But you've made me like it."

"IM UNFUCKED!"

Kaminari takes another bite, thinking it over

"The puff pastry is airy and buttery and surprisingly the bacon is crispy without your vegetable drying out. Very well done."

You glance at Bakugou who mouths

"Is he fucking Gorden Ramsey now?" To which you giggle.

"Tamaki senpai, please do not judge on usefulness for your quirk but by taste." Kirishima encourages as Tamaki almost shrinks away. He takes a bite before smiling.

"I..its delicious. Togata would enjoy this."

"Next up Bakugou!"

"Nice kick, cool cuc flavor. I like it." Shinso nods to Bakugou as he makes a mark in on the pad provided.

"Honestly, Chef Katsuki. I was really worried about the heat level when I saw your heavy handed toss of pepper flakes into the salad. But the flakes really bring out the tang of the rice vinager, the smoky flavor of the sesame seed while the radish and cucumber take the edge away *just* enough." Kaminari says before taking another bite, scribbling as he chews.

This time Bakugou looks to you and you laugh aloud at his bewildered scarlet eyes.

"Just got with it!" You call from your station. Struggling to keep your giggle.

Who knew confusion could look so cute?

"Its just the right amount of spice. Togata would enjoy this."

"Take your station, Katsuki as we will now begin the main course. You have thirty five minutes to prepare!"

Time ticks by faster than you'd like as your watched pot of water finally boils. You add in chopped golden potatoes setting a timer before butter flying your chicken breasts for a more even cook and better grilled sear.

Bakugou works furiously with his steak, pounding at it to quickly tenderize it, adding an aromatic garlic herb butter to a heated pan. He swirls the melting blob until it coats the bottom of the pan.

Both of you are about to start your meats before Kirishima breaks your concentration.

"Chefs! I've found an ingredient you HAVE to incorporate into your main dish." He presents a rectangular package that has you seething.

"KIRISHIMA WHAT THE FUCK?!" You both yell in unison, slamming your meats on your cutting boards.

"Dry packs of ramen noodles!" He announces in case either of you couldn't read the damn packaging!

"What the fuck?" Is all the two of you can say as you're tossed the package of ramen noodles. You stare at your dish, you couldn't easily shift your meal plan into Asian like Bakugou could thanks to his universal salad. The dishes had to be cohesive and you had fucking POTATOES BOILING TO BE MASHED

You stare almost stunned as the red rectangle stares back at you.

You hated ramen.

Meanwhile Bakugou grumbles to himself as he slices his steak into thin strips, adding ginger, a bit of sesame seed oil, green onion and some beef broth to boil.

He tosses in the package of ramen.

"This is cheap shit." He grumbles to himself before adding the steak in a few moments later slamming a lid onto the pan. He was lucky he picked a deep pan as opposed to his original idea of a shallow one.

"Half of the time is remaining chefs!"

"Perfect!" You slam your fist into your palm as you make haste. Quickly grabbing eggs, milk, flour and the food processor.

You begun to crush the noodles until they become a fine grain.

"Eji do we have to use the stupid flavor packet?"

"Fucking why would you ask?!" Bakugou snarls your way, ruby red eyes slide to the panel.

"Judges?"

"No." They answer in unison and you both sigh in relief. For you it would have been hard to incorporate to your sudden idea of fried chicken while the flavoring would be too salty and undercut the flavor building he had done for his dish.

You mash your potatoes, adding in garlic cloves, cubes of butter, a bit of season salt all before emulsifying it to a whipped state.

"Five minutes chefs!"

You begin to really sweat now, you didnt want to rush your chicken for fear of the batter not becoming crispy enough or worse yet an undercooked breast.

"Three minutes chefs!"

"Fuck! Cook chicky cook!" You mumble to the fryer, scarlet eyes shift to your bouncing frame, plating his own food, swiping juices that splatter.

"Come on plate damn it! It's done!" He shouts to you.

"You *do* care!" You tease, although your heart is in your throat as you place the chicken onto the plate, drizzling a honied mustard over the breasts.

"Like hell. It's just winning by default is boring. I want to watch them spit your food out." His voice comes out soaking in malice but his eyes say otherwise. Mischief and excitement dance along his scarlet iris.

"AND TIME!" You both step away from your plates. Breathing heavily as the two of you look down at your master pieces.

Bakugou places his hand on the small of your back to guide you in front of the panel as Kirishima grabs your dishes.

"Bakugou you're up first."

"This is not thirty cent ramen." Is all Shinso says as he slurps up the noodles before biting into the beef. No one misses his eyes flutter.

"Wow." Is all Kaminari can say chewing with delight, "Just wow. I would have thought the noodles were homemade. The beef is tender, all cooked evenly. The sauce flavorful, a hit of ginger and I'm surprised you hadn't added any heat. I would have loved to have seen a five alarm ramen from you."

Bakugou grinds his teeth to keep from shouting at his last remark.

"Togata would enjoy this."

"I'll be sure to make him a to go plate." Kirishima winks before presenting your dish.

"I never would have thought to use ramen as breeding." Purple eyes glitter as he devours the chicken.

"Me either. Its excellently light, you matured everyone's favorite honey mustard by making it with a sharper brown mustard and the potatoes are soft, beautifully whipped and garlicy!"

"This is 'southern food?'" Tamaki asks, "Togata would like it."

You smile warmly.

"Last round chefs! You'll have forty five minutes to prepare a dessert with *this* ingredient." He holds up a green can and your stomach sinks.

"Is that fucking wasabi?" Bakugou snarls, even the heat king is stunned.

"Yes chef it is. Please incorporate this ingredient into your dish. Starting...NOW!"

You stare at the green can. What in the actual fuck? Maybe you should have made a menu more geared towards Asian cuisine.

I mean you were in FUCKING JAPAN AFTER ALL.

You snatch onto the can, now was not the time to damn yourself. You could do this. You could beat Bakugou!

Even if it killed you.

You decided to taste it, youd never actually had it, just knew that it was potent.

"That's too much idiot!" Bakugou yells from his station just as your about to put a heaping teaspoon into your mouth.

"Like scoop with a chop stick." He says, showing you himself. His chopstick dips into the wasabi to return with the smallest of green.

You mimic him, popping it into your mouth as instant regret washes over you as you try to break down the components of the flavor.

It was hot with underlying notes of freshness, almost herbal as the heat began to fade.

But with that regret comes an idea.

You work vigorously grabbing all the chocolate you can find before making a batch of brownies, wasabi mixed into the batter.

Nothing was more southern than cake or a brownie.

"I'll fucking tell you what..." You finish the thought aloud as you worked.

All the while Bakugou glances to you with concerned eyes before he measures out the perfect amount of coconut milk to reduce with almond milk, a split vanilla pod, some sugar, honey and wasabi powder.

Soon his odd mixture becomes fragrant, the freshness of it competing with the richness of baking brownies.

Time ticks by too quickly as you snatch the wasabi powder from Bakugou adding the smallest amount to powdered sugar, cocoa and milk as you make the frosting to your brownies.

You feel like you're ahead of time as your plate, eyes looking over to Bakugou who is garnishing ramekins with edible flowers and flakes of coconut.

"Fuck." You murmur before pipping on some icing. Smoothing it out with a knife. Plating it as Kirishima obnoxiously counts down.

"Time!" He yells. You're shaking before glancing at Bakugou who seems nervous himself. Again he guides you to the panel, you lean into him for a bit of support.

Your heart was racing, sweat still dripping down the nape of your neck and beading on your brow.

You couldn't tell who's dishes they favored and there was a chance you could very well lose.

You'd hate to admit but Bakugou's station smelt fucking amazing all night.

"Y/N!" Kirishima smiles a wide tooth smile, "Wasabi brownies. Interesting."

"You mean fucking fire." Shinso says.

"Its astounding how the chocolate adds to the heat with out one overpowering the other. A delicate scale was balanced today."

You find Bakugou's hand by his side. giving it a squeeze to keep yourself form laughing. He leans towards you and whispers into your ear.

"Bet you're regretting adding Flavor Town onto the board."

A giggle escapes your lips that drives Katuski mad.

"Togata would love this! Please save a square for him!"

The judges cleanse their palates before moving into Bakugou's dessert.

"So delicate." Shino adds, looking down at the purple flowers.

"Watch it." He bites but you again squeeze his hand, this time whispering to him

"That means he likes it. You did an amazing job plating."

He watches you smile as you drink in their comments about *his * dish.

"I like that you start and finish things with a refreshing yet memorable dish. The edible flowers add immense color to this dish, the wasabi heightens the sweetness of the honey and the coconut flakes add a little bit of both crunch and depth. Excellent."

"So pretty..." Tamkai stares at his dessert before adding a small bite into his mouth. His eyes flutter and you know then that you've lost.

That's two different judges with different meals that he has impressed. He squeezes your hands, you look up to him expecting a smug smile only to see nervousness.

"The judges will now debate. Please sit in the waiting room while they discuss who will be UA's top chef!"

"Where the fuck is that?" The blonde snarls.

"The living room!" He whispers as you drag an agitated Bakugou with you.

The two of you sit in silence, sinking into the couches with tired bodies.

Adrenaline can do that to you. Minutes tick by before you sigh out.

"I'm pretty sure you won. You..." You gush, "Amazing. That salad looked so damn good!"

Katuski cannot help the smile that spreads across his face as he watches you sing his praises.

"Honestly your southern dishes were something new to them. That's far better and seriously ramen as a breeding? Innovative as fuck." He sags in the couch closer to you. The two of you half fighting over who really one by pointing out the best moves the other did.

Gradually gravitating closer to one another with heatedexcitement fueled by friendly competition. The two of you are butting foreheads as you argue.

"But the flowers were stunning...." The vigor in your tone dies down as you stare into something else that else stunning.

Scarlet eyes sparkle like gems in the low light of the side table lamps. Suddenly you are hyper aware of your proximity to him. You try to scoot back only for your hip to hit the arm of the couch, barely moving a centimeter. You were safely nestled between the couch and his amazingly muscular arms.

Bakugou swallows his desire as he drinks you in this close, having never realizing how pretty you actually were.

Add that to your ability to kick ass on the battle field and in the kitchen had Bakugou looking at you in a whole new light. He seems to choke on his desire as one strong hand finds the nape of your neck.

"I bet nothing tastes as delicious as your lips." He says before pressing his own to yours.

The saying alone has your body flushed and a small whimper erupts in the back of your throat as you closed your eyes.

Shit.

You liked arrogant, smart mouthed, excellent chef handsome ass Bakugou.

And now that you've tasted him, you'll never want to eat anything else again.

You kiss him back with matched passion and the two of you forget about the competition for a moment. Foot steps had the two of you breaking apart, cheeks burning brighter than the boy's hair whose entered the living room just missing everything.

"They are ready to announce the winner." He turns on his heel, expecting the two of you to follow. Both of you share a look before standing. Bakugou wraps his arm around your waist pulling you close to him so he can whisper in the cockiest tone he can muster.

"After they announce me as winner. Let me make you dessert."

@we-starlight-in-the-making @kiribakuho @babybakuu @zbops @crimsondream-1 @alwaysmy crazy ass did it. I made the fic I wanted

#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagine #bnha crack #bnha fanfiction #bnha fun #bnha cook #katuski bakugou #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #bakugou x you

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jimmythejiver · 3 years

Text

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

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