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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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HOUSE-ELF

Warning, this chapter is pure head canon. There's never been any official statement from JK Rowling explaining the House-elf thing, so this is my answer to it. I am not for slavery, I do not approve of owning anything with even a glimmer of human intelligence, and all views I express through the characters do not necessarily reflect my views or opinions on these matters, these are just how I picture these characters talking about this.

HPHPHPHP

Lily took several deep breaths before starting in a peaceable tone, "alright Sirius, explain to me why this is apparently okay?"

No one needed to ask what she meant, she'd clearly taken James at word and wanted to have a real argument about house-elves with Sirius.

Remus decided to scarper before his name could be tossed around again and muttered something about the baby, plucking him away from Lily and quickly exiting the room. James really wanted to join him, but thought it was best if he sat down and refereed these two. Harry just wanted to know more about this.

Sirius rolled his eyes at her tone, he found it more condescending than neutral, as he snapped, "I don't know how to nicely put this for you Evans-"

"Potter," James quickly corrected, clearly never growing tired of doing so, but both ignored him.

"-but house-elves are stupid. Plain and simple. That's why they aren't on our map, they're not intelligent enough to be registered.* They can't bleeding do a thing unless they're told, hell they can't even take care of their life long term. Why do you think Dobby came up with all those cockamamie plans? House-elves don't understand the concept of a plan! If they didn't have wizard families telling them what to do, they'd die off at the first sign of danger."

"I don't understand how you can say that," she seethed, already cracks were appearing in her calm façade. "Goblin's aren't treated like that, nor Centaurs or Were-"

At Sirius' peeved look and a warning shake of his head from James, Lily decided to quit with the list and press her point, "have you ever even given them a chance? How the bloody hell do you just know they're that way? Dobby-"

"Is the best example for both points," Sirius cut her off. "They're not all treated like Dobby," Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair in agitation. Truth be told, he actually didn't get into that many arguments, so he wasn't even sure how to win one. Sure he snipped at his friends on a daily basis, yes he spent the majority of his life telling people what he thought without remorse, but an actual structured disagreement like this was not his forte', plus he wasn't even sure what Lily wanted out of this. He just knew he wanted her to stop glaring at him every time they were mentioned. "In fact most of them are treated fairly well, like mine. Kreacher f'ing adores my Mum and Regulus, he's all too happy to parrot what they say, and do anything they ask. He just hates me because my Mum does, and I don't conform to what she, and by extension he, thinks."

"You mentioned he's been beaten though," Lily wheedled, thinking she'd finally found a way to make Sirius understand. Even if he didn't like his house-elf, surely he must admit that wasn't right.

Sirius though just snorted and waved his hand around without a care, "beaten is an exaggeration, he never even had to do some of the things to himself Dobby did, and they were for stupid little things. Like he was seen during a house party, or he creased my dad's trousers the wrong way. It never went so bad he tried to run away or anything. Plus, my parents are loons who'd beat the wall if it looked like it did something wrong, they shouldn't be the mark of how most are treated." Sirius didn't appreciate that the next expression he registered on Lily was pity, and not for the house-elf that time, but for him, so he kept going just a tad louder, "plus, the Malfoy's aren't any f'ing better. No, most are treated like Winky, and they enjoy their life. You've been down to the kitchens, you know the Hogwarts elves are treated just fine."

Lily sighed as she rubbed at her temple, this wasn't going anywhere, but she wasn't going to stop now that Sirius had spoken the root of her problem. "That's not the point Sirius, just because they're happy doesn't make it right. They've lived their whole lives being that way, so they don't know any better."

"What would you do then?" Sirius snorted. "Outlaw the owning of house-elves? Force everyone to sack them? You'd cause mayhem woman! House-elves would be losing their minds, and even if by some miracle they didn't all die of shock, any future house-elves wouldn't be any better because all generations would have the same mind set, except now they'd be bitter they couldn't be doing what they were meant to. Think of what Hogwarts alone would be like, the castle would crumble without those elves keeping it up."

Lily fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, she really didn't know where she wanted to go with this, she just couldn't stand the ideas of more Dobby's out there. She'd like to think that wizards were above owning other living things as property, but knowing how some Muggleborns were treated by purebloods, and purebloods were the main cause of her ire against house-elves, she really couldn't see it going in any great way. So instead she gently offered, "well, I still don't see why some laws shouldn't be in place, to at least acknowledge you shouldn't be so cruel to them. There should be standards for their living, punishments shouldn't be so horrid and frequent an elf fears its masters, they should have a voice in the Ministry if they feel they've been wronged just like anything."

Sirius just shrugged, but slouched back to indicate he at least wasn't going to argue that point. He still didn't have any great hate towards the actual species, they'd been friendly enough to him at Hogwarts, but Dobby and Kreacher in particular irked him. Dobby because, well because he'd tried to blow his godson's head off with a Bludger, and he still couldn't forgive that particular transgression no matter the end results. Harry had enough crap going on in his life for a 'friend' to be adding. Sure he'd redeemed himself by attacking Lucius at the end of that year, so he supposed Dobby at least balanced himself out.

Kreacher on the other hand he knew he'd never give two knuts about. All he ever saw in that thing was his parent's ideals. They had always treated Kreacher even better than Sirius, like that stupid thing was a better son then he was. Sirius had never endeared himself to his parents even at a young age, he'd always asked one too many questions and been punished for it, often far worse than some simple transgression the elf would do. As a child, he'd hated Kreacher for the small smiles he'd see his Mum give to the elf because he never got that. The older he got, the more he realized his Mother actually cared more for that thing then her oldest child. Still though, he supposed he wouldn't want his agitation at that vile little thing to be put on other elves who didn't deserve it nearly as much.

The other three kept watching him like they expected some revelation to take form in front of them, and Sirius' only response was to smirk. "What? If Lily wants to go on some crusade to save house-elves, I'm not going to stop her. Just wish she'd stop giving me death glares like I'm the one beating them with a stick in the meantime."

Lily wanted to explain that she so often got mad at Sirius because he acted one way, but she knew damn well he was thinking something else. She'd suspected once in awhile his upbringing hadn't been that dissimilar from Harry's honestly, and she hated to think on it. Sirius didn't speak about it much though, he actually kept himself as restrained as Harry around her at least, so she was left to wonder if he wasn't projecting most of his hatred he had at his name onto house-elves. She wanted to ask him about it, but she didn't feel she had the same right. Harry was her son. Whatever Petunia, or by extension Vernon, had done to him she had a right to know. Sirius was just her friend, he should tell whoever he wanted about that type of thing, and she wasn't sure if she asked what kind of answer she'd get.

Nothing had really been resolved between the two, but since they'd said their peace neither looked ready to blow a gasket anymore. James had certainly relaxed back, watching them bicker at each other was certainly more normal to him. Harry though was watching Sirius with interest. He, like Lily, had picked up on some of his comments and was wondering just what Sirius had gone through to hate his own elf so much, and he wanted to ask, but thought he'd be a hypocrite if he did. After all, he hadn't even told what the Dursleys had really done to him.**

They were all saved the trouble from anyone having to say anything else by Remus poking his head back in and saying, "I haven't heard any shouting or limbs being pulled apart yet, is it safe to come back?"

"I don't know," Sirius mockingly rubbed at his jaw as he eyed Lily critically, "Lily's still in the same room with me, and we all know that's a disaster waiting to happen."

Remus gave a snort as he walked back to Lily's side, happily flopping down beside her and cuddling the baby to his chest as he said, "I'll risk it. As it's her turn next, I don't think she can do anything to grievous to you."

HPHPHPHP

Hope you guys don't think too harshly of me for this chapter. nahte123456 is the one who originally came to this conclusion, but the more I thought about it, the more I really liked it. After all, Hermione eventually quit SPEW. After all those years of passion, she gave up on the idea, and instead just made a standard of living for them. Why did she quit on the idea? She must have learned something new in her own later years that no one would have explained to her. My idea is that she never got into this with Sirius, and Remus wouldn't really know any more about it than Lily because he never looked into it either, so she came to realize what Sirius said on her own in the end. They're not intelligent, at least not human levels.

I can still see an argument being made for both sides though and I'm not trying to dismiss the wrongs done to them regardless, it's a heavy topic that I'm not prepared to deal with.

Maybe Hermione did get a few free and realized the end results. Also, sorry it kind of went into a character study on Sirius there at the end...actually no I'm not, I love him too much to apologize for basing a chapter around just him.

*This was pointed out to me recently and it has boggled my mind ever sense. Holly crap they aren't, are they? Same with all the other animals except Mrs. Norris. So, is it because they have their own magic that made them uniquely not visible, or because they're really not of human intelligence enough to be registered in the maps protocol of tracking all 'living humans' in the vicinity? I'm at a loss...

**Sorry guys, I know you're all wanting Harry to share what really happened at the Dursleys, but I have a specific spot in mind (which many of you have guessed already) where that will be shown. Back to actual chapters next time!

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #Reading the books #GoF #The life that Never LIved #Marauders #house-elf #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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daybreakx · 3 years

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AHSHDHAHAHDHHAHAHZHDHAHAHDHAHZ IM SORRY BUT WTF is this a joke? There are sooo many groups and every one of them making comeback so frequently what did she/he/they expect ? Like girl get a life🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ You cant stream 24/7 and you dont have to. Just because you stan them doesnt make your responsibilities disappear. Sometimes it doesnt even about responsibilities 🤦🏼‍♀️ its so f'ing stupid for them to judge you oh and that birthday posts😨 its so emberassing ugh

-💎🐩

right? like why would I keep up with every single thing? and I don't want to be stuck doing something i don't enjoy just because people like these treat it like a freaking job, ugh.

idk at this point she's just trying to piss me off and it's working😩

#daybreakx answers #💎🐩 anon

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slightlykylie · 3 years

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1. TMS* is a good thing and I recommend it for anyone with treatment-resistant, non-situationally-based depression.

2. Like I was depressed as fuck three weeks ago and pretty much incapable of having a thought that wasn't about suicide and now I'm better, so that's good.

3. I do, however, get frustrated with the whole "Rate your mood on a scale of 1 to 10" thing as a person with bipolar, because, like, is a 10 euthymic or is it the happiest I'm capable of being? Because the happiest I'm capable of being involves being manic, so if 10 is maximum happiness then 8 is about the highest I can safely be. It would probably make more sense for mania to be numbers higher than 10, but it's sometimes difficult for me to tell the difference between hypomania and... happiness, which makes rating these things difficult. (I have asked several providers how this system is supposed to work for people with bipolar and none of them have had an answer. Guys, you should have an answer.)

4. But seriously. How happy am I allowed to be before it's a problem? It's been 20 years since I was able to just be happy without worrying about whether I'm too happy and I'm tired of it.

4a. Like, right now? Am I heading in the direction of hypomanic right now?

4b. Because if I am then I need to stop the TMS immediately because it can trigger mania BUT my psychiatrist suggested that if TMS got me to a good enough place then we could maybe try decreasing my antipsychotic dosage and I f'ing hate my antipsychotic and its side effects so I'd really like to hang in there as long as I can to make sure the stability is really thoroughly grounded BUT if I hang in there too long and it does trigger mania then I probably lose it as a treatment option in the future and I really need it to be a treatment option in the future so I guess what I'm saying is

5. aaaaaaaaargh

6. Bipolar is stupid, throw rocks at it.

____________________________

*Transcranial magnetic stimulation. Basically they put a helmet on you that makes loud hammering noises and sends... magnetic... stimulation? into your skull and then you get less depressed. (For the record, it's like a psych-hospital thing, not a we'll-stimulate-your-magnetic-fields-while-we-realign-your-chakras-with-a-crystal-grid thing.)

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max--phillips · 3 years

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I totally get the tag you spoilers thing. I haven't had a chance to watch it... still at stupid work. I've been spoiled A LOT. I've unfollowed a couple people. I also shouldn't have to NOT be on tumblr... it's not the f'ing difficult. Ok. Rant over.

Yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like, mistakes happen (I literally just did that gjfbdjdbd I posted a few of my things w/o a specific spoilers tag BUT I at least have a “Tori watches the mandalorian” tag so??) but y’know . Just tag stuff pls

#tori answers questions #nerdysuperchick

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ajw720 · 6 years

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i bet d can't wait for the day he doesn't have to plan every f'ing holiday around staging some bullshit w/ m or hiding where he really is. d, the *actual celebrity*, has to haul his ass to HER turf, to make a cameo on the SM of people no one outside of fandom even cares about. for the sake of fans who'd believe m+d were together anyway even if nothing was posted. how ridiculous. and it shows how the whole operation now is just about letting her use d as a prop to make her look good & important

Anon. Some if this has become so ludicrous. If I didn’t want to scream. I’d laugh. I’d say amongst D fans. Maybe, maybe 5% know who Lulu is. Sadly I follow her. But trust me, she is part of my mass social media unfollow the day m is gone. Can’t wait. She’s as attention hungry as M.

The whole day was set to prelude D’s cameo. She woke up in LA. Made sure to set up her arrival in Palm Springs. At mama beard’s house. Children present. Dinner. And suddenly literally in a blink your eyes and you missed it moment (I did) there was d.

It’s so infuriating. Whether filmed yesterday or in the days prior. He had to leave his family. Drive there. To be seen for 1 second. To keep the illusion they were together. To do this required him to spend his holiday I’d assume in LA. (Though maybe done earlier? Hard to know).

Why? So 10 people can continue to worship her and bonus, be excited about her stupid bar. This whole thing makes no logical sense and I still don’t understand how she’s entitled to do much including completely inconveniencing D&C& their families.

I only hope. But will never know. Despite this utter ridiculousness. D&C were able to celebrate with loved ones.

When’s the expiration? Today isn’t soon enough.

#written at the mall while having a snack

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dolona · 4 years

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I probably found this image on Tumblr but I got it printed and now it's in the front of my mini binder.

Half self deprecating, half humor but whole truth.

Reminds me of this quote

"The first duty of everybody in life is to realize that they're a piece of shit. Selfish and self-centered and not very good. You're willing to sacrifice 20 thousand people in another country just so you can go to a Wings concert. You sacrifice the lives of a hundred thousand Chinese female babies just so you can rent this f'ing camera and do your stupid art project. No problem! You're a piece of shit. Once you realize you're a piece of shit it's not so hard to take. Because then you don't have this feeling that you're a good person all the time. And let me tell you something, feeling that you're a good person all the time is like having a brand new car with no scratches on it. It's a real responsibility which is almost impossible to live up to. Being a piece of shit and then occasionally doing something that's good and true is a much easier place to be. I think that's really important and I always try to raise my kids to understand that they're not that terrific. And that not being that terrific, that's okay 'cause most people who say that they're terrific, Bill Clinton, Cardinal Egan, anybody you want to talk about, they're not so terrific. Martha Stewart, they're not so fucking terrific either. And there's nothing wrong with being not-so-terrific. In fact, it's what the whole ballgame is about, being not-so-terrific... and accepting it" -Kenny shopsin, I like killing flies

#dick and jane #humor #kenny shopsin #i like killing flies #documentary #mine #captains log

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gurguliare · 6 years

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berrysphase replied to your post: Wait wait, can you explain your views on the oath...

I should stop clogging your replies and write a post on my own stupid blog where it’s easier for you to ignore haha

berrysphase replied to your post: Wait wait, can you explain your views on the oath...

see, I don’t think that saying that they couldn’t break the oath means that they didn’t have options! They did have options! Sure, they were all bad options, but they consistently chose to pick the ones that made other people suffer and die for their own mistakes.

berrysphase replied to your post: Wait wait, can you explain your views on the oath...

Ok ok I do think the oath has some magical compulsion aspects to it but I ALSO think they DEFINITELY had options re Doriath and Sirion, namely: f'ing attack Morgoth first. they can have magical compulsion and still make terrible awful morally unforgivable decisions

Nah, I understand that perspective, but again, I wonder how to reconcile it with the period during the Siege when it wasn’t, “choosing between greater and lesser targets,” but real nonaction. Is it a delayed response? Is it that harrying Morgoth by keeping him besieged was somehow “enough” (since the oath’s actual terms demand vengeance, not successful jewel-retrieval)? I’m not saying that a compulsion would excuse them, but I don’t buy the existence of an outside compulsion at all. (Which doesn’t rule out a subjectively “magical” experience of growing terror and fixation on this one last legacy of their father’s, the reawakened awareness of ~duty after the end of peace, and so on. I’m not trying to draw hard-and-fast lines in the sand about like, the nature of elf reality, I AGREE that language is powerful and creative in that universe, but an oath is not a curse.)

#berrysphase #tumblr as she is spoke #i also think maglor and maedhros' last conversation is less interesting if maglor's position is based in fantasy #again i know this is a... very dry and literal approach but it's the only one that really works for me in the context of the larger silm #BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY i've considered the alternatives though. i see the appeal it's just not for me

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rogueslove · 7 years

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Question of the Week Results

Q: Have you gotten more or less enthusiastic about comic book movies/TV over the last few years?

A: I’m a bit burnt out on them, personally, and I don’t like that the comics have changed to better reflect the movies. . .

“It always depends on a plot, writers and arstist who work on those. When they fuck up everything about the character (like what Nick Spencer did to Steve Rogers) - I just wait until a good group of people will come and fix such arcs but until then - don't even wake me up!”

“Less enthusiastic, there are still good ones put out but the level of excitement has dropped considerably.”

“Overall I'm still looking forward and am really happy to get so much stuff. I wanted to see all the comic characters in action for so long... most movies are at least entertaining the first time. With tv shows it's sad how much potential is wasted (but I am so ready for The Gifted to start tomorrow). Since the comics themselves are hit or miss with lots of mediocre plot, but wonderful standalone character moments in the mix - that's kinda all I hope for with the movies/tv.”

“Less enthusiastic about the comic books, but more enthusiastic about the movies and Netflix shows.”

“Less enthusiastic, idk I love the movies and some tv series (mostly Netflix) but remembering everything that's happening behind them (with those companies fighting for the X-Men's rights) I just don't wanna see them. But The Gifted looks pretty good 👌🏼, hope it's X-citing!!!”

“much much less”

“Less, typically, but Legion and Logan this year blew my f'ing mind, so I'm starting to think it really is about the director behind the stuff. Worried about the X-Men movies slated for 2018 though. Very, very worried.”

“More, solely because of Legion and Deadpool”

“Heavily less. Marvel has done so much damage to itself and hurt a lot of people in their stupid choices, and for what they have been promoting of late, it is something I don't want to encourage or give money to such ideas.”

“Gotta go with more. Even just 3 years ago, fans were starved for content. I do believe we are reaching peak-comic entertainment, and that's not a bad thing since there are more and more shows for different genres. We truly live in a great time for airwaves/streaming to have readily available content.”

“Less. Too much of something gets boring real fast.”

“I've definitely become less enthusiastic about comic-based movies of late. The last comic movie I saw before "Valerian" was DoFP, but specifically the Rogue cut, of course.”

“Somehow, less about the movies and more about the tv series (thanks, netflix) if it makes sense at all.”

“Less. Oversaturation of mediocre comic book movies and shows will do that to you. And it's been a rough few years for an X-Men lover regarding comics....”

#question of the week #results

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fakingitfanfiction · 7 years

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Her Latest Flame Chapter 23: It's About F'ing Time

Previous Chapters

Where were we?

Wait. Rephrase.

Where were you?

Oh, hey, Sophie. Long time, no see.

Fuck. Right. You were there.

You’d hoped (prayed) (wished) (been willing to offer up a sacrifice) (like your first born - if you ever have one and if you don’t then Lauren’s and then you thought about that for a second and felt even worse) that, somehow, it had all been a dream.

Not a good dream which, you know, is sort of odd coming from you cause, let’s face it, there haven’t been many times when you would have considered a dream of Karma mounting you and professing her love to be bad.

Especially the mounting.

And yes, you do mean that. Cause, as much as you don't want Karma like that (girlfriend) and as much as you really don’t want Karma doing that (the whole professing bit) there’s still a part of you - the so exceptionally masochistic, often drunker than your brain, and just plain fucking dumb part - that’s always wondered what Karma doing that (the mounting) (duh) would be like.

“I kinda feel like I deserve it,” you told Sophie once, on one of those rare nights when you both struck out (which was really you striking out and Sophie choosing to cause she didn’t want you to be alone and drunk - and you were already one of those - and fuck all, that’s just another in the long long list of reasons why you don’t deserve her.) “Like, I went through hell cause of that girl and she broke my heart in like five or six or, you know, nineteen different ways and, if she ever does decide to do the whole ‘I’m in college now and that’s when we try’ route, I kinda feel like I earned being the… the… ”

“The try out,” Sophie offered up - she even finishes your semi drunk, semi problematic and all ridiculous sentences - and you nodded (which your swimming in cheap beer and even cheaper schnapps brain regretted, immediately.)

“Exactly,” you said, reaching out a hand, which she took (and damn, she’s always so warm) and steadied you before you toppled over in the street. “The try out. If Karma’s gonna go out for the team, I at least should get to be like a judge, don’t you think?”

An eight. You’d give her an eight. You’d go higher but the other judges would probably accuse you of favoritism and no, you had no idea what the hell you were thinking-slash-talking about.

Also, in answer to your question ('don’t you think?) (just to refresh) Sophie didn't think though, in fairness, her 'didn’t think’ was a bit different than your 'didn’t think’ as in hers was much more of a 'didn’t think that was a good idea’ and yours was a 'didn’t think’.

Like at all.

Not unusual for you. You know.

Still. You always did wonder (even if you told Sophie over and over that you didn’t) and you always did suspect, as in “I suspect it will happen, someday”, even if you only ever said that

to other girls, drunken girls, girls whose names you didn’t remember in the morning, so you

also didn’t remember all the weird looks they gave you whenever you started babbling about hooking up with your 'fake’ high school girlfriend (like everyone had one of those) and, come to think of it - no pun intended - you were so incredibly lucky that you were so incredibly good with your tongue (in all the ways that weren’t talking) or you probably would have had a lot more of those drunk and alone nights.

You wouldn’t even let Sophie make a rule about it. “I think I can keep myself in control around Karma without adding it to the list.” Of course, it did help that Karma was several states away and only came home on breaks - you hardly even saw her at Thanksgiving - so 'control’ wasn’t much of an issue.

Also of course, that was right up until that last time Karma came home and then there was that hug at the airport and you texted Sophie that there definitely needed to be a rule and that, you remember now, was the day.

This is Amy, my roommate and Amy, this is Reagan, my fate.

Wait.

Date. She said date, not fate and oh, who’s projecting now, which is sorta silly cause no one else was projecting then and yes, you’re totally stalling (again) cause not stalling would mean dealing with what’s going on right now and that takes us back to question #1.

Where were we?

Ah, yes…

Previously, on your fucked up, oh who writes this shit and - seriously - maybe you’d be better off just going straight (and no, you don’t mean that in the that you should stop committing crimes sense, unless you’re talking crimes of the heart) life:

You roll over, damn near causing a midair two head pileup as you come face-to-face and then, seconds later, lip-to-lip, with just about the last person you expected to see, this morning. Or kiss, this morning. Or feel quickly straddling you and sliding a pair of very soft yet surprisingly cold hands up under your shirt, this morning.

Or any morning.

And oh, guess what? Karma’s home.

You barely have time to register that she’s there - and by there, you mean on you and by on you, you mean on you - or to try and pull your lips from hers (which takes a surprising amount of effort, mostly because she’s chasing you as you move and one of those so cold hands is now on the back of your neck and damn, Karma’s been working out) when you hear the sound of your door opening back up.

“Amy, your mom said I could just come on up…”

Your eyes squeeze shut as Karma’s lips disconnect from yours with a loud smack (and you can already sense another one of those, the slightly more painful kind, in your near future) as she turns to the door.

“Oh, hey, Sophie,” Karma says and oh, how you wish you were fucking deaf. “Long time, no see.”

That's right. This is where we came in. Right about the moment when you were thinking, well, you were thinking several things:

1.) Sophie’s going to punch you. Again.

2.) Sophie’s going to punch Karma.

(You hope she waits until Karma's not still straddling you to do either #1 or #2.)

3.) Later, after the punching (assuming you survive) (which seems likely) (unfortunately), you’re going to have to have a very long and very pointed chat with your mother about letting people just 'come on up’.

4.) The fact that the word 'thruple’ has actually crossed your mind in the thirty seconds since Sophie walked in is - most likely - an indication that you need some serious therapy or that you’re still somewhat drunk or both.

(Your money is on both.)

5.) You thought it was like seven in the morning but that just clearly can’t be - Sophie's awake - and so, at least, you got some sleep last night.

Gotta find the silver lining somewhere, right?

Oh… and…

6.) Please don’t say 'this isn’t what it looks like’ cause, really, it's exactly what it looks like, though with perhaps less participation by you than first glance might suggest but, really, that’s like a minisculely minor point.

You finally open your eyes (and the brightness of the room and the way it blinds you and no, that isn’t just some angelic glow behind your roomie (totes is) suggests that it’s probably a bit past noon, so yay, sleeping in!) and glance in Sophie’s direction. She’s leaning up against your door with her arms crossed over her chest and one brow arched - it looks only slightly less sexy when she does it - and you open your mouth and… well…

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

Oh, for fuckity fuck fuck fuck’s sake.

Sophie eyes you from the doorway and you’re not sure - hopeful, but not sure - that you see a familiar twinkle in her eye, the same one she gets every time you’ve done something incredibly stupid (so, like, at least once a week, on average, twice or even three times in weeks when the bars run two for one specials, four or five in weeks when you run into Elsie) and Sophie knows she’s gonna have something to hold over your head, at least until you do something incredibly stupider.

(That’s usually not that long a wait.) (It may be more so, this time.)

“It looks,” Sophie says, stretching the word out - looooks - and judging by the shit eating grin on her face, it 'loooooks’ like she’s having a ball (no pun intended) (but you will have to tell her that one later cause she’ll totes snort) “like Karma showed up just before me, climbed up on the bed, whispered that she loved you too, you rolled over in shock, she kissed you and then she put her apparently freezing hands up your shirt and you were trying to get away.”

Well… um… so…

Apparently, it really is exactly what it looks like.

(And later, when you ask - cause you'll have to know - Sophie will tell you that no, she doesn’t have the ESP and yes, she was standing right outside your door the whole time and yes, that was absolutely cause she wanted to make you suffer just a bit and no, you can’t blame her for that at all.)

“My hands are not cold.”

You and Sophie both turn and look at Karma incredulously (you’ve always wanted to use that word) (even if only in your head) cause, really?

That's her take away?

“Of course they are,” Sophie says and you recognize that tone, her 'I’ve totally got you whupped on this so please, please please try and argue with me’ tone and, to be honest, you really hope Karma does.

“How do you figure that?”

And maybe someone upstairs is listening to you after all.

“Well…” Oh, this is gonna be good. A Sophie 'well’ means someone’s about to get schooled and, for just a moment, you feel a rush of panic, but then you remember.

It’s isn't you.

(For once.)

“First of all, your hands are still on her stomach,” Sophie says, nodding at the twin spots where Karma’s hands are resting on either side of your abs (you knew she always did have a… thing… about those.) “Which means you haven’t gotten to second base - and, just so we’re clear, that does mean the same thing for the gays as it does for the straights, in case you weren’t sure of the lingo and all.”

Oh, how you've missed Sophie.

“So,” she rolls on. “Even though Amy could cut glass… like five inches of it, at least… with her chest right now, I’m gonna go ahead and chalk that up to either an excellent Reagan dream that you interrupted or her body temperature dropping like eight degrees from the… well… 'magic’ of your touch. And since she’s got goosebumps running all up her arm…”

You do. You really do.

They’re only partly from the cold and mostly from watching a master at work.

“Plus,” Sophie says (and oh, there’s more!), “I shook your hand once, when we met, and, I gotta say… cadaver… was kinda the word that popped to mind.” You wanna yell 'burn!’ but that’d be kinda bad - what with Karma still on you - and, also, it would so not fit the whole corpse motif Sophie’s got going. “Like, I seriously thought that maybe I should give you the number for my grandmother’s heart doc, in case of some kinda… issue… with your circulation. But then, I figured, it was just you and, well, you know, cold hands, cold heart.”

Karma glares and her skin flushes and, surprisingly, her hands don’t warm at all. “That’s cold hands, warm heart.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sophie says, “but we were talking about you. So…” She takes a couple quick steps across the room and drops down into your desk chair, spinning around one complete revolution just to let that sink in. “Now, Karma sweets, if you don’t mind, could you unmount my roomie so she and I can have a very overdo chat without me having to stare at… all… this.” She waves a hand in the general direction of your… situation. “I don’t feel like washing my eyes out with holy water today, K?”

Did you mention that you missed her? Cause you did. You totes missed her.

Which is a bit more than you can say for Karma.

“Amy… will you please tell your roommate," (she says it like it’s a dirty word) (like fucker or twat waffle) (or Liam.) "That whatever it is she thinks you two have to discuss, it’s far less important than what we need to talk about?”

She looks at you, expectantly.

Sophie looks at you, expectantly.

And if this is anything like the beginning stages of a thruple (no ice to go breaking here) then, really, you're so gonna stick to twoples for the rest of your life cause this?

So. Much. Pressure.

(and not just the Billy Joel song and why, of all times, does Billy come to mind now, it’s not like you know anyone who still listens to him, like in the tape deck of their truck or something and, wow, that’s a very specific and weird image to have and you feel like you should know, but…)

But… the pressure is lessened, somewhat, by Sophie cause, yes, she is looking at you all expectant like, but also a bit amused, like she’s enjoying this, with this being watching you squirm - and not in the way Karma would like - and no, you can’t really blame her if she’s

finding a little joy in this and, as long as she keeps smiling at you like she is, well,then it’s

all good.

(And oh, that still sounds so…ugh.) (Leave it to Karma to ruin another phrase.) (She takes 'all good’ from you but leaves 'thruple’? That’s just wrong.)

“Amy?” Karma nudges you which is less nudge and more gentle squeeze near your abs and oh, the look on face as she does… well…

What was that about holy water?

“Um… well…” You clear your throat cause, other than 'this isn’t what it looks like’ (and really?), you haven’t spoken since you talked to Lauren yesterday and man, it’s suddenly dry in here and where’s that glass of water you’re sure you brought to bed -

“Amy.”

Right. No water. And, really, no clue and, for once, you don’t think that's your fault.

“Karma, Sophie and I have a lot to talk about,” you say and she gets that look on her face, like the one from that night at Communal when you told her you 'had it’ (and you did, for that one single night) and if she looks like that now…

“And we don’t?” she asks, those fingers tightening ever so gently against your skin and you really didn’t ever think there’d be a day you wouldn’t like that.

You were wrong.

Again.

“I don’t know,” you say. “To be honest, Karma, I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing here.”

She pulls back, her hands slipping out from under your shirt (warmth! there’s warmth!) and fixes you with a look you haven’t seen since Hump Day. (Her video) (Not Wednesday.)

“I’m here because you texted me,” she says and that just clears absolutely nothing up. “You said you loved me.” She reaches into her purse which, apparently, has been sitting on your

bed the entire time, and pulls out her phone, cueing up messages from you. “See? Look! It’s

all right there!”

You see. You look. And it is. It’s all right there.

Every bit of proof that you should never ever be allowed to use a phone again.

You told her. You told Lauren.

I should not be allowed to own a cell phone.

You told her. And she told you.

Yeah. Because the phone is the problem.

(Well, it was the phone that got you and Reagan busted and it was the phone that had all the pictures of you and Reagan that sent you spiraling down 'good times with the ex’ memory lane and it was the phone that you were looking at right before you saw her again, standing outside your door.)

(Common denominator? The phone.)

(And yes, you’re aware that there's another common denominator there, but two denominators is math and we all know how well you do with that.)

But, you reminded Lauren, she hadn’t seen the messages. The texts that you 'wrote’ (and you use that term so very loosely.) The ones that read:

I miss you.

It was all my fault, I know that. I soooooooooooooo know that.

I don’t deserve you.

And you don’t deserve me. And I mean that in the you don’t deserve to suffer the horrible horrible horrible fate of having me in your life, not in the way I don’t deserve you.

You probably knew what I meant.

I’m so sorry. Sorrier than I’ve ever been for anything. Even sorrier than when I slept with Liam, which is probably not a thing to bring up right now, but you know me, open mouth, insert foot and oh, please tell me you’re not thinking of other things I’ve put in my mouth and oh, I’m just making it worse and I am so deleting this before I hit send.

I hope someday you can forgive me and I hope someday my feelings won’t be such a problem for us and I just hope you know that you are the best part of my life and I really do love you and I hope that someday

The texts that you wrote (still loosely) (but one air quotes is enough to make a point, right?) and sent to Sophie. Lauren never saw them.

And, apparently, neither did Sophie.

“I’m here because you texted me,” Karma says, again cause it wasn’t clear the first time.

Well… actually… it wasn’t.

But it is now. Oh, so fucking clear. And, if the smirk on Sophie’s face is any indication, it’s clear to everyone but Karma.

“You texted me and apologized for ignoring me after Christmas,” she says, “when I tried to talk to you about how I was feeling, and then you said you loved me.”

“Uh, Karma?”

She is not to be deterred. “You apologized,” she repeats (and you totally do notice that that’s the part she seems most stuck on.) “And you said I was the best part of your life and that you loved me and I hopped a plane as soon as I got them and flew right here because I couldn’t stand to be apart for one more minute.”

“Did you get that, Amy?” Sophie asks. She's so loving this and if you hadn’t, you know, just recently fucked her girlfriend (or semi-girlfriend) (kinda girlfriend?) (quasi-girlfriend?) you’d

so be planning how to get her back for this. “Not one minute more!”

Karma nods enthusiastically, pointing at Sophie as if to say 'what she said!’

Some people have beer goggles (you) (usually on Thursdays) (dollar pitcher night) and some people have rose colored glasses (Sophie) (when it comes to you) (usually) and Karma?

Obliviators. Get it? Oblivious and Aviators cause she’s always trying to be fashionable and cause it so totally sounds like something out of Harry Potter and you just couldn’t resist.

“Karma -”

You try. You to cut her off, to head her off at the 'oh, honey’ pass. You really do.

Not very hard (that’s what she said) and not very well (also what she said) (if she was you and you were asked about Liam) (or about Elsie) (or, frankly, about Karma, given her cold hands on the abs technique.)

“Amy, it’s OK,” she says and no, it’s not and no, it’s not going to be and yes, you were thinking that you’d lost a best friend and while you haven’t (apparently), you’re pretty sure that’s a matter of yet. “I understand,” Karma says. “It was easier to text, so much simpler than saying it face to face. I know we don’t have the best track record with that…”

You think?

“So, I get it,” she says. “I understand. But it’s just you and me now -”

“And me,” Sophie says, barely holding back the laughter. “Don’t forget blondie over here.”

Karma glares. “Your hair's purple.”

Sophie nods cause, well, yeah. “Right you are, buttface. It is purple. Gotta say, Karma, you don’t miss a thing.” She leans back in the chair, smirking away. “Except for, you know, the obvious.”

She’s talking about now but she’s right about, well… always. There’s a list of the obvious that Karma’s missed over the years, one about as long as your arm. One that starts with you and,

it would seem, ends with you too.

“Buttface?” Karma wheels back to you (which has the effect of grinding her down onto you and you don’t know whether to moan or wince.) “Amy! She called me buttface! You call me that and only you call me that.”

She (this time the other she) is right. You do call her that. You’ve called her that for years. In fact, that’s always been her name.

In every cell phone you’ve ever had.

“It’s funny,” Sophie says - and Karma whips her hips back around and damn, you so should’ve worn thicker shorts to bed - “but Blondie and Buttface. Two B’s. I mean, that kind of puts us close together, doesn’t it?”

She jumps out of the chair and climbs up on the bed, shoulder to shoulder with Karma and, really, all you need right now is for your mother or Lauren (or Reagan) (especially Reagan)

to walk in and this day would be complete.

“Will you look at that!” Sophie says (and quasi-girlfriend fucking or not, you’re gonna get her for this), “we're right next to each other.” She grabs your hand and holds it out, between them, like you don’t know which to touch. “I mean, it’s almost like, if Amy were confused or blindfolded or maybe, you know, drunk out of her mind for like six days running, she might just 'reach out and touch’ the wrong one.”

Karma looks at Sophie. Karma looks at you. Back at Sophie. Back at you.

Your arm hovers there the whole time and you haven’t been to the gym in like… ever… so it’s a bit too heavy for you to keep holding it up there while she figures it out cause, you're sure, that’ll probably take a while.

“You’re next to each other, Karma,” you say - and she looks at you like 'duh’ cause, well, they are - and you need to clarify. “In my phone. Blondie and Buttface. I sent all those texts to the wrong one. They were meant for her, not you.”

Karma cocks her head (you’re not thinking of that beagle video you watched on YouTube, you’re just not) and you can see it sinking in, the wheels turning, it all finally coming clear for her.

“Oh my, God,” she says and your heart breaks (really) (no, really) at the embarrassment she must be feeling. “You meant to say all that to Sophie.” Karma scoots back - and oh, there is

still feeling in your legs - and crouches at the end of the bed, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of you. “Amy…” she says, sounding a bit too much like that night for your comfort. “You’re in love with Sophie?”

Wait.

Just… wait.

Just… “I'm what now?”

“The texts,” Sophie says, cutting you off before you reach the 'holy balls did I say something I didn’t think I said but maybe I secretly meant to say’ whack-shack your brain will obviously go to. “You said you love me and, to her, that means you're in love with me.”

Oh. Right. You forgot that you had to translate drunken Amy into sober (but may as well be drunken) Karma.

“Wait,” Karma says, and oh no. Just… oh no. “So, you're not in love with Sophie?”

So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

You stammer and stutter and you’ve got no idea how to tell Karma the truth cause, well, let’s face it, the best way, the easiest way - the only fucking way that makes any sense - is to tell

her the truth.

You. Tell Karma the truth.

(Go ahead and laugh.) (Come back when you’re done.)

…..

(Ready?) (OK…)

Fortunately, you’ve got an ace up your sleeve (if your shirt had any) that you’ve never had before. A purple haired, all out of every conceivable fuck Ace.

“Of course, she's not in love with me,” Sophie says, which does nothing to squelch the fire of hope in Karma’s eyes. “She’s in love with Reagan. And Reagan’s in love with her. Trust me, I know.”

And that’s the funny thing about hope. Sometimes (Karma) it dies. It dies a horrible, bloody, this is 'my worst nightmare’ and 'didn’t we get rid of her like two seasons ago' death. But then sometimes… well… sometimes (you) it springs eternal. Sometimes, it sneaks up on you and smacks you upside the head and makes you think that maybe… just maybe…

And Reagan’s in love with her.

So… she’s telling you there’s a chance?

#faking it #faking it fanfiction #reamy #oc #update #amy #submission #Her Latest Flame #secretmonkey

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plagued-knight · 7 years

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Overwatch: Home of the get on the f'ing point you stupid idiot. So tired of people thinking this game is all about the kills and ignoring objectives. Play the game right or fuck off back to COD

#Overwatch #srsly fucking play the game how its suppose to be played or fuck off #So tired of shitty players #And by shitty players i mean people who ignore objective for kills #Don't have to be good at a game but know how to fucking play it

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ouraidengray4 · 6 years

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7 Steps to Take to Be Nicer to the Most Important Person in Your Life

Why even try. Nobody cares about you.

This thought crosses my mind at least once a day, thanks to my struggle with negative self-talk. And if you're also someone who consistently makes mean comments to yourself, you're far from alone. Thoughts like "Oh, you're so stupid" or "You're too fat to wear that" are prime examples of the way many of us talk to ourselves every day.

"Negative self-talk can be hugely impactful on your daily life," says psychologist Ashley Hampton, Ph.D. "Our thoughts influence our feelings and then our behaviors. This can lead to negative behaviors, like isolation, lack of motivation, and a desire not to engage in activities that bring you happiness."

Beyond adding to depression and isolation, negative thoughts can lead to physical changes. A 2015 study found that adolescents who viewed themselves as overweight, even though their body weight was in the normal range, were more likely to become obese later in life. Now, thinking "I'm fat" once or twice will not make you heavy one day, but the study showed a direct connection between negative thoughts and a negative outcome.

(And let's note that I'm not saying that being overweight is negative, I'm saying it was the negative scenario for those participants. Be whatever weight you want!)

Negative self-talk promotes a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies and prevents you from seeing the bright side. Most of us have probably felt its effects before. When you tell yourself, "I'm going to do terribly in the job interview. I'm awful. Oh, God, let's prepare for this disaster," you're setting yourself up to do a terrible job when the interview actually happens. We think we'll do badly, which makes us perform badly, which makes us think we'll do badly again next time.

But instead of getting stuck in this cyclone of sadness, you can change the way you talk to yourself. It's not always easy, but coaches, counselors, and psychologists have some tips on how to turn your Negative Nelly voice into a Pollyanna of Peace.

1. Check Yourself

"Building an awareness of your negative self-talk and recognizing every time you are giving yourself a negative message is the first step of minimizing its impact," says life coach Shefali Raina. When you're used to being crappy to yourself, you might not even notice how negative your thoughts are.

Raina recommends tracking your negative thoughts for two weeks. Simply write down every time you say something mean to yourself. Maybe you'll have a couple lines on a page or a whole journal full of hate. Either way, by recognizing the negativity, you're making a good step toward changing it.