#prepared moving forward.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#srry to be all vent posts and no art but the stress is high rn #i feel a little better now. i forgot how much i love working with the culture collection #i go in when theres no one there and i just spend a few hours listening to podcasts as i move slime from tube to tube #it forces me to do one thing bc once i start i cant stop. i just like it a lot. i havent done for like the last 2 semesters bc we had the #money to pay a student to do it. and at the time i was in the thick of taking photosynthesis measures and it was causing me a lot of pain #and transfering was like the one lab task i liked to do so it felt like i was being punished. i could no longer do the thing most aligned #with my interests. and i just let it go bc in my brain im not allowed to do things that i enjoy. if i enjoy it its not hard enough. #so i just let it go. and let myself be crushed under the weight of things i don't enjoy and now here we r #a little light has returned to me #and its not all bad. i am looking forward to giving a lecture next week. i like communicating info to others and deciding what to talk abt #ill try to make it fun. if i have the time. and im looking forward to my meeting tomorrow morning. everyone ive met with so far does really #cool research. id be happy to wind up anywhere. but if i get into the big scary uk uni then i have to go there bc the project is so perfect #i dont dare get my hopes up. and tho my interview today wasnt the best i learned some really cool things by talking to the guy and im more #prepared moving forward. #however i did agree to make both my sisters sticker sheets for xmas and that is gonna take so much time i might die. so ya kno rip #but like i said. not all bad. #unrelated

[cyberianpunks]

anti-authoritarian pro-human

#art #collage #helicopter #martial arts #sword #green #retrofuture #design #aesthetic #iaido #unless you are prepared to move forward and take risks #the truth of your life and that of the universe is never realized #antiauthoritarian #free palestine

[jorvikpov]

While you turned your eyes away for what felt like no more than a moment, the island stepped away from the firm, safe embrace of summer and into autumn’s melancholy gold. Now, the sun hangs low in the sky even though the evening is still early, and its golden beams shine with as much warmth it could possibly muster over the southwestern ocean. A gentle wind blows along the shore, rustling every leaf and every blade of grass in its way, and despite your coat you shiver just a little.

You do not think of how she would have loved this evening. You do not think of how she might have been standing right where you are, watching the last rays of sun slowly disappear from the ruins’ stone walls, or how she might have sat in her kitchen over a cup of tea lit up by the golden evening light, or how she might have been tending to her garden in the ever-colder breeze, taking special care of the roses as their bloom slowly came to an end. By now, of course, they have already wilted, but it was all too early this year. The gardeners knew something was terribly, terribly wrong, they said, when overnight their rose bushes withered and died, their thriving garden suddenly no more than a mess of crumpled, brown decay.

The ruins are filled with all those who loved her and all those she loved. At the edge of the cliff overlooking the Jarl’s tomb and spilling out into the meadow of wildflowers stands, secluded, a large group of Druids clad in the same sort of silvery grey robes as always, hoods pulled up further and hems sewn longer than you have ever seen before. By what once was the corner of the Abbey stands the stargazer—or, as he would prefer to be known today, Elizabeth’s closest friend—with his gaze fixed on the darkest point of the sky and something like anticipation in his eyes, as if expecting to see a constellation that wasn’t there before. The innermost circle of the Keepers of Aideen has gathered around the central altar, so completely and entirely silent that they are a stark contrast to even the rest of the gathering, and in the centre of the half-circle they form lies a lone red rose. It bloomed this morning in the lovingly cared for wild bushes outside her cottage, one of its kind in the crowd of withered flowers surrounding it, and it will remain bright for as long as it is remembered and loved.

Even long after the memorial ends and the sun sets, your group of five remains on the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea. When you finally leave, all of the Abbey’s candles have long since burnt out, the stars are so bright and countless that all of them cannot possibly have been there before, and left behind on one of the many memorial stones is a small, pink crystal.

By morning, even though it is far too early for the seasons to change, the wind will have turned and brought in a thick, chilling fog, and every one of Jorvik’s countless trees will be a vibrant shade of yellow. You will hear it, then, as a whisper in the rustling leaves, just as clearly as you will feel it in the sting of cold morning air in your lungs and see it in afternoon’s golden sunbeams disappearing over the horizon far too soon: even the island itself cannot remain the same without her.

#sso #star stable #star stable online #ssoblr #jorvikpov #no post next week as I prepare to move forward from this gigantic milestone in the story #I plan to post again Tuesday the 26th at 15:30 CET and from then on make that my weekly posting time #thank you all so much for your likes reblogs follows and lovely lovely words in the tags this week #I hope this post makes for a worthy wrap up (as devastating as it is) #I apologise for this one as well but I also have cried kind of a lot while writing it. so I feel like the price is paid already #oh and a special thank you to Manda for helping make this even more devastating than it already was

[noweverybodysdead]

#the 1975 #matty healy #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald #DO NOT disappoint me. there is ONE clear winner #and contrary to my url it is NOT robbers #i want to do a bunch of self titled era post then move chronologically forward. just for fun #to prepare for the concerttttttt #self titled

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 3

"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against

#song of the day #'I don't ask for much / truth be told I'd settle / for a life less frightening' #another song that when I sing it alone it doesn't sound much like the original but I do so like to sing it #check me stirring my roux humming 'these lives we live test negative for happiness' sweetly to myself #today was Friday and I'm still trying to decide if I'm satisfied with the amount of work I got done this week #I suppose I'll have to be #I had my weekly report meeting and again the updates my boss asked for in the meeting were not the ones she asked me to prepare #so I split-screened her and delivered the prepared updates as I frantically opened and updated the new request #and then when she finished making politely falsely interested sounds (I'm not bitter I'm not I'm not) she asked again for the new update #and by then I had it ready! saved it as I brought up the share-screen and showed it to her #too frustrated in the moment to be properly proud of myself but now it's hours later and I'm feeling a little smug about it #little back-pats for me #I have something like a project timeline worked out for the idiot project #and I did some good work in the garden (nasturtium growing up the post under the bird feeder. very pleased it took the transplant so well) #and I sooooort of sorted the freezer stuff. kind of. mostly we ate the things I wanted to rearrange but I've got a plan for moving forward #the last non-work thing I'd really wanted to accomplish this week was getting my queue set up again here #I've gone through my drafts and done some prep but as you can see the queue isn't actually running again yet #hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. we'll see how it goes #the queue may have to wait until Sunday because I must confess if I can accomplish only one single solitary thing tomorrow #I would like it to be six hours of uninterrupted sleep. may it please the gods I shall rest tomorrow. blessed weekend #edit: wait wait I'm a fool I'm a fool I just typed 'May 3' and still I am a fool #it's May the Fourth!! #happy star wars day my loves if I don't get the queue up today after all #it's because I'm reshuffling everything because I've got a new influx of SW posts to distribute!!

[allbeendonebefore]

today was a total wash, I had to ask where to go for volunteering since there was No info and just as I was about to leave the house at 11am i got the email that oh actually It's Already Been Finished for a Week and im like

i literally i planned my whole weekend around this, like i was going to meet the person I would be volunteering with on Saturday, I was going to get myself a specific treat after, I made sure to actually eat breakfast which i never do, I already input my work hours for this, literally about to go cross town and I'd even coordinated picking up some materials for the exhibition to drop off on site and get some work done (which was also a total wash due to the office closing and getting stuck in traffic for ten minutes after barely even leaving the house!) I packed my library book to return on the way and planned Conversation Topics about Professional Things Hell, I Even Made Cookies because i wanted to befriend my coworkers that i never see because I work 99% remotely, and like they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me?? what would have happened if i'd actually crossed town and showed up without emailing first?

like im not mad at anyone in particular and I know organizing something like this is a complicated deal and I bet everyone involved is already exhausted but i signed up as a volunteer to get free admission and i'd like to at least feel like i've earned it yknow?? and i could have been like. meal prepping or getting other work done or relaxing but nope entire day down the drain aarrhghghg

at least i had the athenian archon poll to entertain me today smh. tomorrow should be better but also worse. and then i have to be up at 6 at LEast on saturday and be there All Day so its like i am Annoyed that I could have been doing my work which actually has a deadline arrghghgh. and on top of that since i aged another year recently and haven't been stretching Of Course i slept funny and now i feel like i need to be cracked like a glowstick before i can be normal aaAAAAAAA

and then on top of that my neighbours didnt move their car so only one side of the street got swept >;T rocks in my eyes for eternitYYYY

#hapo rants #hapo's workventures #personal hapo #also just went to a talk on accommodating neurodivergency in museums #and how having the museums dictate the once a month time for accommodation is WHY they have low turn outs for those events #and messing with people's schedules or treating them as unimportant is not a cool move #and its talks like that that make me think Huh Maybe The Undiagnosed Whatever It Is That I Have is playing a part here #like Hmm I wonder Why I get So Angry about Wasting my Time #when i had like planned my outfit i had prepared Friendship Offerings i had marked out how long i would need to look lost #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im fine im cool im calm #i am so stressed and tense and its partially because Slept Wrong but mostly because i spent ALL DAY in waiting mode #the worst part is i was actually looking forward to it today #normally i just put in all this work and still feel awful

[bunnihearted]

.

#im just so sick of doing and feeling bad #im stressed af for my schoolwork. bc all my energy goes to dealing w my anxiety and i barely have energy to do my work #i NEED to talk to someone bc im doing so so bad. but i've contacted my healthcare center & the psychiatric #but everyone just sends me on to the next place bc they cant help me :// so now im stuck waiting for this new clinic to contact me. #and with my health issue.... i need to wait up to 3 months to get an appt with a surgeon. then wait 3 months for a surgery appt #i might not get rid of my gallstones problem until april next year ._. #and bc of my gallstones i cant eat much at all. so im losing sm weight. #im actually so worried abt it bc i already feel weak and tired. and dizzy and ice cold. i will literally turn into a skeleton.... #and like it feels so lonely when i realize nobody cares. i contacted my healthcare center and said i was worried and dont know what to do #but all they said was 'yeah... u just gotta wait' #so... i need to prepare that i wont be able to eat or drink for another 6 months before surgery :D #this next phase in my life is gonna suck so fkn bad and idk how to get thru it #i just wanna feel ok. have energy. be able to eat and drink whatever i want. not be in pain. i wanna move forward not be sick

[pastafossa]

SQUEEEEE!!!!! MY TWO FAVORITE HEROS MIGHT TEAM UP IN MY FAVORITE DD FIC!!! IM FEELING FERAL!!! But, seriously, I probably wouldn't love DD as much as I do now if it wasn't for all the mentor matt fics that came out after NWH that got me to watch the show so the idea that spidy/peter might show up soon has me fucking ecstatic

Wouldn't be a long DD fic without Spidey showing up! 🥰🥰🥰 I've honestly been so excited to bring him in, biding my time until the timeline matched. He was one of the first superheroes I latched onto via cartoons as a kid and then the movies started and I just - I fucking love Spiderman, I've loved all of his movies, loved the different takes on him with Tobey and Andrew and now Tom and all the Spideys in Into the Spider-Verse, too, so I knew I couldn't do TRT without having him show up - and especially since NWH and the ensuing fic was a LOT of peoples' introduction to Charlie!Daredevil, and that makes me so, SO happy cause it gives me more people to talk about Daredevil with, and it means Charlie gets more love, which I'm all for obviously. 😂

It's basically an open secret now so I may as well just confirm he's going to be our next cameo when we hit Queens, and it's not going to be the 'two people removed' cameo like Tony Stark. This will be actual Peter and he'll be popping in and out going forward, as will some other characters. Cause at this point, we're not only approaching Sokovia Accords: Population All Enhanced, but we're also reaching the tipping point at which Jane is going to be known enough for other heroes to come knocking.

ding dong who's that oh it's steve who could he be looking for

#ask response #i was honestly worried when i added the queens reference like 'are people going to know what i'm implying???' #and then my inbox and comments were just like 'PETER??? PETER???? SPIDERMAN??? PETER PETER PETER YES YES YES' #so i'm pretty happy #i've always loved spiderman and he has a special place in my heart #(not me preparing to BINGE his comics cause i'm told a marvel sub is coming as an early birthday gift/belated Christmas gift) #anyway i'm excited to bring him in and have plans for him to weave in and out of trt as we move forward #jane's just gonna be stan lee we're gonna meet folks on and off #I'M CONNECTING EVERYTHING IDC WHAT CANON IS #X MEN YES #THE WIDER MCU YES #ALL OF IT #I'LL BRING IN DEADPOOL TOO IDGAF #EVERYONE GETS TO VISIT THE PARTY IN TRT #all of that aside this is exactly what i was hoping for with NWH #i'm always happy to hear other people have come to join the fandom and love on DD <3

[daydadahlias]

i’m crying you did NOT gaf about LH1 😭

oh i loved LH1 !! I think it's an absolutely bonkers insane piece of art but it's not really an album that I can listen to tbqh and i do not say that in a derogatory way at all. it just sends me into absolute hysterics every time and that's not very productive for me, so i dont really listen to it (just bc i genuinely can't handle it) and, because of that, im not personally chomping at the bit for LH2 (even if I know a ton of people are) because I just know that I, Jess, am not the target audience for it and i shouldnt have to pretend that i am

#it's an incredible album !! it's a masterpiece !! luke is one of the most phenomenal poets/songwriters ive ever read/listened to #but like that shit fucks me up in a way i cannot describe lmfao #i genuinely cannot listen to LH1 without having a full blown hyperventilating crying breakdown. like it's my anxiety attack album y'all #music has a really strong affect on me. i am really sensitive to auditory stimulants and so i cry *super* easy to music #so if i listen to LH1 i have to be prepared to bawl my eyes out for multiple hours #and i usually dont have time to spend crying so i dont really listen to it. i mean baby blue + saigon i will BUMP i fucking LOVE those song #but the rest of the album just hits too close to home. and i know that's what so many people *love* about it #and what makes it so incredible. but for me? i would just rather listen to songs that make me happy #i thought abt not answering this ask bc i think it might be ~controversial~ lols #but the fandom is so small on tumblr now that im actually just gonna say whatever tf i want moving forward dfghjk #this is my turf ! #(secret time) i also have <3 personal resentment of LH1 bc of how fans treated superbloom <3 #but what're u gonna do abt that yknow #not luke's fault. his artistry is incredible. ashton's is too. and they attract different types of listeners #and just bc im a 5sos fan doesnt mean i have to love all their solo projects yknow?? it's just abt what i enjoy as a listener :) #pigeon #anon #i feel so brave saying this #will i get attacked #i doubt it. surely there's not enough people left on here to care dfghjk #if my luke friends see this im sorry guys i love him ily i love his album i have NO bad things to say about it from an artistic point at AL #it's a masterpiece !!! #i just dont listen to it #and nobody gets to make me feel bad abt that >:(

[victorluvsalice]

-->And with that, it was finally off to Van Liddelton Groceries once more! Alice got to open the place up this time, though first, I had her set the prices to “Sale” (aka 15% markup) down from the regular 25% markup. Why? Because they DO NOT need the money, and I wanted to see if stuff would sell faster if it was a little cheaper. She then got sent to have some zoomies to deal with her slowly-growing Fury (no wolfing out at work!) while Victor bunked down for a nap in the break room and Smiler went out to handle the sales floor (after consulting their future cube for advice, since I wanted them to do something while waiting for customers – “the cube abides,” apparently)! Amusingly, the very first Sim to show up for the day was L. Faba – guess she was tired of Morgyn getting all the attention whenever the gang visited the Magic Realm. XD (Which reminds me, I really gotta bind Victor’s dragon familiar to him already...) Anyway, after a bit of lag, Smiler was able to let off one of their patented vampiric happiness bursts for the incoming customers and chat with Catarina Lynx for a bit to try and convince her to buy stuff –

-->And then Alice came back, and I decided that I wanted her to make some more food downstairs rather than force her to chat with customers. A decision that led to me transferring $40,000 of their household funds over to the store so I could upgrade the downstairs kitchen area with the best Schmapple fridges and ovens, and add a counter by the corner so I could put in a stand mixer, a waffle iron, and a pizza oven! All in the blue swatches, since I thought those looked nice. :) I then had Alice use the bulk food processors from Simsonian Library to process some potato flour so she could whip up a batch of dough –

-->Aaand suddenly EVERYONE WAS BUYING SHIT. Yeah, apparently cheaper prices DO encourage more sales. I quickly had Alice run up there to help Smiler with the initial rush (since Victor was still working on taking care of his needs) – Catarina picked up a loaf of cheesy bread for $71; Christen a jar of blueberry jam for $80; and Janae a small mushroom for $5. We got a brief break while some of the customers got distracted by the sight of celebrity Brytani Cho in the store (long enough for Victor to get up and go to the bathroom), but after that and another annoying case of lag, the sales started coming again, with Bella Goth grabbing a box of dried sage for $413, and L. Faba getting a box of cheese for $621. I took a moment to check downstairs and saw that Alice’s dough was ready, so I had her go downstairs and grab that –

Aaand got an LE as she did so. However, that was shortly followed by customer Olivia grabbing an avocado from the produce fridges/warming racks, so I think the LE was actually related to that – specifically, to my Brazen Lotus stuff. Meh. At least I'm pretty sure I know what it is (the game doesn’t have a proper animation to play if a Sim is getting a normally-not-allowed-in-produce-fridges item out of a produce fridge, so it goes “hey”) and that it’s not TOO game-breaking!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #yeah I'd been meaning to lower their prices for a while now #as stated they do NOT need the money #and I want to get this place emptied so I can rethink what I want to sell and how I want to sell it #thinking of going toward a more 'prepared foods' model #we will see #in the meantime you can see things remain pretty busy on the lot #good thing Smiler loves socializing :p #and Victor and Alice can tolerate it :p #and I liked upgrading the processing area downstairs with the new small appliances #looks a little more professional now #Alice seems to enjoy using everything #though now I'm thinking we should have more than one of each appliance #so we could have multiple items getting cooked at once #I mean I have two ovens and two fridges already #things to ponder as we move forward! #and yeah that LE really does seem to be related to people trying to buy things out of the produce fridge #that normally wouldn't go in a produce fridge #and since I have a mod from Brazen Lotus that allows you to put things in the produce fridge that normally don't go there #not gonna worry about it for now but #it is a factor in me considering redoing the store a bit #we'll see what happens! #queued

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#caint sleep because my brain wont shut off and also because its super hot #i just keep. thinking #a lot of it is fake scenarios of telling people off that i hate #other topics include: mentally applying to jobs. worrying about my financial state. remembering how much i love my animals #fantasy high. my summer camp job (a loooot of that). my friend that i have a crush on. my rats being incredibly loud #and more! and then it is so fucking hot in my room. like its all boiling. i might be dying of heat (not actually) #but it was raining earlier so i couldn't open my window (i just opened it so im dying less) and we dont have the ac on and i dont own a fan #its a difficult life that i lead #but most importantly: im moving in less than a month. back to my hometown. and im truly not prepared #very much not packed. the place is in a state of disrepair. its unclean #very sleepy. tired. overwhelmed. etc #but its okay! its all gonna be okay. there are things to look forward to and things that make it okay #in a few weeks im meeting one of my oldest friends who is also a tumblr mutual. i didnt know that could happen. but its happening! #so theres that. and also i have a friend i havent seen in a year but we're gonna be working together this summer!! i get to spend #the whole summer with her! and i have animals that i love. and birds exist. and i have a lot of cool friends #and i live with my sibling who is also moving so that's someone to share the burden with #so its all gonna be okay. it just never feels like that when its 6am and youve been trying to sleep for two hours but cant #okay have a good night everyone i love you

[dykedragons]

self affirmations

#delete later #ive done so many things im proud of myself for and have changed my life for the better and yet the fear remains #it wont ''prepare'' me to suffer twice. i just need to move forward. even though i dont fully know how. even if im afraid of what ill lose.

[mercurialmilk]

..

#quick lil update on my cat #I asked for the actual results of her urine test and she's on the cusp of stage 4 which I wish the vet would have explained #At this point I'm expecting a few weeks tops before she decides to go to her last sleep #Ive come to terms with it in the last few days and am preparing myself as much as I can #for now she will get subq liquids every few days to keep her comfy and her heated blanket #its been really hard to eat and I have absolutely no appetite and im exhausted all the fucking time #oh good ol grief and despair #but I gotta feel it to move forward. #expect me to be on tumblr lots more because thats what I use to distract myself :) #and some grief knitting

[saturnisfallingdown]

song that makes you dance in your kitchen soo so bittersweetly

#picked one hell of a time to rewatch dances moving. great heavens #i am moving forward in life at a rapid pace into a phase i feel unprepared for despite years of preparation but i have to stay hopeful!!! #* does the crab #the altogether

[waywardsalt]

*saloon doors burst open, i stumble in, eyes wild and frothing at the mouth* hey what if i make bellumbeck a sort of metaphor for linebeck transitioning between just lingering in survival mode and really processing and moving on from his trauma

#does this make sense. one mutual likely knows what specifically spawned this idea #like. i imagine link just has ptsd while linebeck has c-ptsd and im not sure what the difference in recovery is #if there even is one #like i think link def had some time after ww to decompress and he was with a support system and was able to get some processing done #while linebeck has spent like. most of his life in survival mode and has done some light processing but hasnt actually been able to really #move on and stuff until after ph. like he talks with oshus its basically therapy and airs everything out n is essentially prepared to reall #process and bellumbeck kinda just smacks him across the face with his trauma and forces him to speedrun that processing #like ive said i like bellumbeck being a weird catharsis it ends up helping him move forward it forcibly breaks down some walls #its added to that trauma pile ofc but he processes it like immediately so dw hes on track #uhhhh. #salty talks #linebeck #bellumbeck #phantom hourglass #loz #legend of zelda #anyways. i did some writing thats nice #is this how metaphors work

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I have found the christmas gift I believe will lead to the least negative comments from my mother.

I only care because I will be presenting them live and in person. I still don't have any proof that last year's gifts arrived because no one ever said.

But god forbid I don't text five seconds after my birthday card arrives.

#i'm looking forward to my mil moving very far away from my parents #one longer flight is way better than always having to plan to see my folks #because god fucking forbid my mother travel to me at any point she can get away from it #the list of excuses she has for not visiting since 2012 gets hilarious the longer it goes on #oh but i can't leave grandma #funny you did that for two weeks and grandma did fine #i haven't actually said that part #but i'm prepared to when i point out in person that we are once again travelling to them