#punk hazard is so fun why would i ever want to miss out on this

[thousand-sunnies]

when i was first starting to watch one piece, my friend was like “if you ever get to punk hazard you can skip it” and that was SO WRONG OF HER

#punk hazard is so fun why would i ever want to miss out on this #also the trafalgar law content like. this is important material #one piece

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Fishman Island

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

i know i’ve said it before but i really, really love the entirety of reunion arc. it might be short, but there’s just so much fun and joy packed into it after the extremely fraught and upsetting paramount war. there’s something exhilarating about seeing characters who could barely compete on the world stage two years ago not just come back from nigh-obliteration, but come back so much stronger. this is true about fishman island as a whole as well, really, which is the main reason i enjoy it so much. 

every time we get to see luffy flex his conqueror’s haki absolutely fills me with delight.

brook’s return to the crew is, i think, the most meaningful of all of them. he knew them for, what, a week or two in-universe prior to the separation at sabaody? and in the two-year interim, he becomes basically an extremely successful rock star known worldwide and selling out stadiums. and yet he doesn’t hesitate a moment to drop all of that, to declare before the world that luffy is alive and will be king, because he might have only known the strawhats for a little while but they saved him, and he’s going to see his dream through to the end with them. 

this is possibly my favorite panel in all of one piece. it just makes me so fucking happy to finally see him again! 

i’m a big fan of oda’s choice in not revealing his full design until this moment, so that we get to see him finally appear in all his glory the same moment the rest of the world does, just in time for him to explode back into the public consciousness and fuck up sentoumaru’s whole day. 

i feel like i might be repeating myself a little with regards to reunion arc, but i don’t really care- it just makes me happy. this spread where luffy finally arrives back at the sunny- look how delighted they all are to see him! look how much they missed him! the strawhats are such a family, even though at this point they’ve just spent far more time apart than they’ve ever spent together, and i just adore them so much. 

roger is one of my favorite flashback characters and definitely one of the characters i wonder about the most, and a lot of the thoughts i have about him circle back around to this panel right here. where did he get the hat? why did he give it to shanks? why did he choose to set out to sea who is he- 

i think about kuma a lot. for such a minor character his tragedy is immense, and i would really like to know more about him, why he chose to do the things he did, what his relationship with dragon and the other revolutionaries was like- whether there’s any chance he can still be saved. 

fishman island is absolutely gorgeously drawn. i’d call it absolutely the prettiest setting in the series until wano, and i think that, like wano, it’s clear oda was waiting to draw it for a very long time. the amount of detail and care put into all of the big establishing shots is really breathtaking.

one of the reason i think fishman island is so fun is because the comparatively lower stakes, combined with how much stronger the strawhats are, means they get to be at their most fully chaotic best. they take ryuuguu palace hostage almost completely unintentionally, off-screen, and then immediately start bickering and making ransom demands. i love them so much. 

i love luffy and shirahoshi’s relationship so much- i love how much she trusts him to keep her safe, and i love how easily he does it. i love how he’s brutally honest with her but never really mean and how he encourages her to open up her world and do new things even when it’s scary and dangerous, and lets her take things at her own pace. 

i think the sun pirates’ symbol is probably my favorite jolly roger in the series, both because it’s so well-established in the story, all the way back to arlong park, and because it has so much meaning. the shadow of fisher tiger’s life and death is cast over the entire story long before we even know he existed. 

the symbolic destruction and replacement of the slave brand with the rising sun is so, so cool, and the knowledge of the reasoning behind the symbol also makes it clear long before its confirmed in-story just how empty hody and his crew are. their versions of the symbol are open, with the silhouette of a decapitated human, because they have no brand to cover. 

i care so much about koala and fisher tiger, and the relationship between them as two former slaves and two deeply injured people, and how fisher tiger still manages to muster the strength to be good and gentle to her even after how much humans have hurt him. 

i think it’s really a shame that he never got to see who and what she grew up to be as a direct result of his kindness. i think he would’ve been really proud of her.

i’ve always really liked that otohime isn’t perfect. she’s not as flawless as she first appears to be- gets angry and frustrated and even drunk and shouty when her own people won’t listen to her trying to help them, and it makes her feel so much more real. her patience and pacifism feel much more admirable when we’re also shown how hard she fights to keep them up. she works to be good.

one thing i like in one piece is how much value is placed on just the value of knowledge, of writing, of reading and understanding. it’s visible in how one of the rarest powers in the world is the ability to hear the voice of all things, and in the poneglyphs, too. 

one of my favorite things about luffy is how he becomes a hero by trying not to be one. he doesn’t care about how people view him, and he never has; he really only cares about his friends and loved ones. it’s just that he’s also an incredibly easy person to befriend, and if those friends need help, then he’ll help them, regardless of the cost. most of the island-saving he does is just positive collateral to luffy’s driving desire for the people he cares about to be safe and happy. 

i have always loved strawhat group shots ever since back in east blue when the crew was just three people, and they’ve only gotten more exhilarating as the crew has expanded and full-crew shots have become less common in the new world. it’s always just awesome, seeing them all together and united for a common purpose, whether it’s saving robin in enies lobby or kicking hody’s ass here.

my friend zeph grainjew calls moments like these, where other members of the strawhats deal with a problem so luffy doesn’t have to, ‘honor guard moments’, and i really like them. they’re a display of both the loyalty luffy’s crew has for him and the trust luffy has for them right back.

the thing about shirahoshi is that she’s not a coward. she’s a crybaby and overemotional and extremely skittish (which, for the record, is fully understandable for someone who’s been the subject of constant assassination attempts since she was six), but when it comes down to it, she’s fully ready and willing to let herself get killed by the noah in order to protect her people and her country. she’s so brave.

i sometimes see people complain that the villains of fishman island are flat and boring, as though that’s not the whole point, as though the entire arc isn’t a treatise on the importance of not passing hatred down to children. of course hody and his crew are hollow, they’re the equivalent of malcontented shitty white men who become neo-nazis because it’s easier to blame minorities for their problems. 

luffy’s victory over hody itself is nothing. it’s easy, it’s only barely a challenge because they fight in the open water and luffy is a devil fruit user, and in the larger scheme of the one piece world, hody is nobody to even take notice of, no matter how grand his ambitions might be. what’s important isn’t hody’s defeat itself, it’s that the children of fishman island see luffy come when shirahoshi calls, and that at the end of the arc, they all want straw hats of their very own.  

this might genuinely be a coincidence, but i’ve always liked that fishman island, an arc all about inheritance and what we pass down to our successors, is when luffy first pulls out red hawk, an attack clearly inspired by ace. inheritance can positive or negative- the negative examples in this arc are obvious, but there are positive ones, too. we can also see it with koala and fisher tiger, or with jinbe and both of the legacies he’s shouldered. it’s up to us what we leave behind. 

for all that fishman island isn’t the strongest arc on its own, i do think it has by far one of the strongest endings. it’s an arc all about hurt and loss and how it gets passed down and renewed over generations, and it ends with a return to zero. everything’s not better, but the wound’s been cleaned and bandaged, and now it can finally, finally start to heal. 

and into the new world we go! with skies full of fire and oceans full of lightning, looking just like the entrance to hell- and all our crew can’t wait to get there. 

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #long post #arc: fishman island #arc: reunion #not japanese

[featherlinneawriting]

My favorite One Piece self insert fanfiction

There are exactly 3 SI that I really like when it comes to self inserts in One Piece. Mind you I have not much knowledge over everything over the punk hazard arc, but I sure did watch the first 200 episodes many times as a kid! Just absolutely love One Piece and certainly will start to watch it again!

Technically some are more OC then self insert, but the gist is the same.

1. This Bites by Xomniac

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11515678/1/This-Bites

Is probably the most praised SI of them all! I love it too! It is a long, but fun read with the occasional serious moment. Yet it makes the SI feel like a part of that world while keeping the spirit of the original story the same. Cross the SI, gets thrown into One Piece on an Island, with a baby snail that has a devil fruit. They join the Straw hats after 2 weeks of being stranded on that deserted island. Point is the point of time where the Strawhats story is, is shortly before Logue town but after Arlong has already been defeated. I can recommend anyone who loves Self inserts and is looking for one in One Piece to give this one a read!

Currently has 79 chapters and a word count of ~1.885.000 words! Absolute fun to binge read! And certainly a story, that got far without ever being abondend, it is still ongoing!

----

2. Twelve Red Lines by Vikingr

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13167711/1/Twelve-Red-Lines

My personal favorite! Probably because I can relate to Jones the SI of this story. While there are darker topics, like depression, suicide, self harm and other dark stuff, like “This Bites” there are plenty of fun and hilarious moments too! The author deleted the story once before, but I am glad it’s back! I adore this story. So this story starts with Jones being the Self Insert landing or pretty much waking up on the Straw hats ship after a successful suicide attempt. Though that may be debately considering Jones is alive now.  She joins the crew, not that she had a choice, and point of time is before Sanji joins, they are on their way to the restaurant at that time. While the story is different from This Bites in plenty of ways, this is my personal favorite! If you like darker topics and not just sunshine and rainbows I recommend reading Twelve Red Lines! 

Currently has 35 chapters with a word count of ~700.000 words! Believe me when I say it is well written! It is still ongoing!

---

3. SI Seeking Straw Hat by Undying Soul98

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12572396/1/SI-Seeking-Straw-Hat

While this one is not anywhere the level of writing of the previous two, I just find this story pure comedy gold. Surely one of the better SI out there, but can’t compare to “This Bites” or Twelve Red Line, tho nothing will be comparable to the two anyway. I digress. This story also8 manages to capture the fun aspects of the original One Piece story, while being completely of canon. This SI tries to join the Straw hats, but seems to miss them by about a day. The SI actively seeks the Straw hats, and point of time? Around East Blue. This story gives fun arcs on different Islands then the original story would give, which makes it a lot of fun. Just absolutely hilarious read. Though I doubt this story should be taken seriously, yet I recommend to give it a light read.

Currently at 9 chapters with a word count of ~66.000 words. I am not sure if the story will be continued, but I still recommend reading it.

 -

End note: I in particular am not interested in SI in One Piece that are outside of the Straw Hats story. So there may be a lot more stories that are pretty good.

Yet often I see SI falter at certain arcs, which is why I like the first 2 a lot. The 3rd is just hilarious, but still well written.

I have a bit of a high standard when it comes to word count, I don’t like reading chapters that are less than like 5k words long. There are some stories that can do that and that I like, but I preferably read stories with an average word count per chapter of 10k+, but eh it is fanfiction, can’t be that picky.

So anyway, I’ll be recommending a couple of my favorite stories, especially SI’s on this blog. No, no one asked me to. I just want to share my favorites so others can enjoy it too.

#fanfiction #self insert #oc insert #recommend #recommendation #SI #fanfiction.net #Xomniac #This Bites #Twelve Red Lines #SI Seeking Straw Hat #Vikingr #Undying Soul98 #straw hat crew #straw hat pirates #straw hat #one piece #one piece fanfiction

[asexualzoro]

list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous

for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go

- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done

- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down? 

- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite-- oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad

- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now

- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren't even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda

- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like... Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart 

- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights

- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they're still at it

- Brook is older than... basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh... all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why

- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again

- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack

- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests

- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”

- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece.... and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”.... and someone has to look him in the eye (...or not) and tell him “i don't know” 

- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like... at least once? it was luffy’s fault

- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself

- when they're heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him

- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed

- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right

- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don't know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like... no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun

- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries

- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me

- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there's a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here

- yeah. sorry. 

- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying

- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark

- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark 

- there's a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they're planning for how they're going to get Zoro back and they're all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him

- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie

- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind........ made myself sad again

- he cries when a dragon won't eat him tho

- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you

- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man

- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it

- there's a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don't even think the manga shows how he got down

- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was

- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they're descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it

- this isn't Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.

- Brook literally doesn't have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be 

-  why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them

- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like... possibly days? is he okay

- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons

im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today

#brook #soul king brook #One Piece #my posts #ridiculous lists #zaria dont look #long post #this is like a condensed version of what its like to follow me pn twitter i think #i could probs add more but i wont

[stardustryewriting]

Original Plans

Law’s original plan - to die on Dressrosa - didn’t work out. Luffy’s original plan - to make Law accept his friendship - did work better than expected. There are just some bumps along the road.

Also on AO3:  here

When Torao first proposed an alliance to him, Luffy was elated. An alliance was basically a friendship and you could never have enough of those. Also Torao was a good guy, no matter what his other crew members said about him. They don’t call him the surgeon of death for nothing, Usopp had argued rather urgently and Luffy had brushed him aside. The Marines had called Luffy chaotic, completely nuts and even dead before, and none of that was true either. (Maybe he was a bit chaotic, but the other things were lies.)

Pirate alliances are marked by betrayal, Nico Robin had said, always the wise one of them, and so Luffy had asked Torao if he planned to betray them. He denied and really, that was enough for Luffy. If Torao had wanted him dead, he just didn’t have to show at Marineford. While Luffy wasn’t sure why he did show up at Marineford - Torao never gave simple answers to his questions, and thinking about what Torao gave as answers for too long made Luffy’s head hurt - he was sure that Torao wouldn’t have been there if he wanted Luffy to die. He did risk his own life and his entire crew on top of it. You don’t just do that out of a simple mood.

So an alliance it was. While Kaido was arguably the Emperor he knew the least of, he was still a better target than Shanks was. Maybe taking on Big Mom first would have been smarter, since he already started an argument with her on Fishmen Island, but Big Mom could wait. He would take her down eventually anyway and if Torao thought it would be smart to go after Kaido first, than Luffy would trust his judgement. Torso was smart after all. Also this seemed oddly personal to Torao. At least the part of the plan that involved Doflamingo did.

*

It turned out, Torao didn’t betray them at Dressrosa. At least not in the way his crew thought he would. He did try to end the alliance and by extent their friendship, which counted as betrayal in Luffy’s book. But he was unsuccessful, because Luffy would have never ended their alliance at this point anyway. There was a time and place, when they would have to part ways again, eventually. But it wasn’t on Dressrosa, not when Torao looked like he was ready to die and not when he tried to protect Luffy. (There was someone, in a somewhat distant past, who lost an arm to protect Luffy and someone, in a not so distant past, who did give his life to protect Luffy. He wouldn’t let it happen again.)

So no, Torao was not allowed to end the alliance. Which annoyed him, of course, but Luffy didn’t care. He could defeat Doflamingo without the elaborate plan Torao had made. He didn’t even remember most of it anyways, and he was somewhat sure, that the plan had failed the moment Luffy entered the coliseum in an effort to get Ace’s devil fruit back. Plans never worked out for him anyway, not in the way they worked out for Torao. He had a general idea of what he had to do and he would get it done. Somehow.

Maybe the Marines weren’t so far off, when they had called him chaotic.

But Luffy wasn’t upset now, because Torao betrayed their friendship. They would have to talk about that eventually, but it wasn’t the main issue. Torao was prepared to die in Dressrosa. He expected it, he probably even had his death integrated in his plan somewhere. (Maybe Luffy should pay more attention the next time a plan was presented to him.) And that was the most upsetting thing that happened to him since they entered the New World. Because Torao didn’t lack trust in Luffy or any of the Strawhats. He pretended he thought their were idiots and he looked like he lost hope in humanity when Luffy, Usopp and Chopper had fun on deck, but he really believed in and trusted them. He was confident they would still follow his plan after his death after all.He just didn’t think Luffy could defeat Doflamingo.

I would have been insulting, if Torao was any less scared about Mingo.

He never told Luffy why he was scared, he never even seemed scared. (Not like Usopp and Nami and most times even Chopper did.) But he was. He was scared and he went up against him anyways, fully prepared to die and Luffy hated everything about this.

„Why are you brooding here?“, a voice snapped him out of his thoughts and surprisingly, it was Torao. He would have thought if anyone came looking for him it would have Usopp. Zoro would have also been a likely candidate, if there were any less alcohol. But the drinks were flowing, so Zoro wouldn’t miss him for a while. Luffy wasn’t exactly a drinking buddy, he rarely drank alcohol as it was and that made him an uninteresting companion for Zoro at parties. Not that he minded, there were plenty of other people he could do plenty of other things with. Just Torao wasn’t really on the list.

„I’m not ‚brooding‘“, Luffy used his fingers to make air quotes, „I’m not you after all. I was just thinking.“

„That’s new“, Torao answered, sounding way more surprised than he had any right to, in Luffy’s opinion.

„I can think“, he protested, crossing his arms in front of his chest, while turning away from the other. And then, for good measure he slightly lifted his chin and added: „And my thinking doesn’t end in me dying either.“Which was probably something he shouldn’t have said out loud. Not like that. But it was also true and something he wanted to discuss with Torao anyways, so Luffy couldn’t find it him to regret saying it. (He did regret the way he said it, later, when he’d calmed down.)

„My survival wasn’t essential for the plan“, Torao informed him professionally. The same way he told Luffy not to exercise too much after he’d woken up on the submarine. The way he told Jinbei to keep an eye on Luffy, if he didn’t want the Strawhats to die. The very same way he told Rayleigh, that Luffy’s training would have to be postponed for a few weeks or else his stitches would tear. It made Luffy sick.

„Your survival was important for me“, he argued and Torao looked like wanted to say something to that too.Except that he didn’t. His mouth opened but no words came out and then Torao closed it again. Luffy waited a few more seconds, in case there was something to say after all. Makino might not have succeeded installing manners within him perfectly, but he knew the basics. He always let people say their piece. (Unless he was distracted by something.) When it didn’t seem like Torao found something he needed to say, Luffy talked instead.

„We’re friends and I like you. Usopp says you’re scary, but you’re really not. You saved my life at Marineford - “

„There’s no need to thank me for that“

„You saved my life at Marineford and I liked you ever since. You have awesome tattoos and a really cool bear in your crew and you’re really nice.“

„I’m really not“, Torao denied, but he sounded like he’s already given up that argument. At least he was learning. Slowly, but he learned. Luffy knew that that argument was just for show anyway. A reputation to uphold, or however Zoro phrased it. Not that Luffy had ever cared about reputations, his or those of other people. But if it was important enough for Torao to put in the effort, Luffy could respect that. So, no need to remind him that he did help all those children in Punk Hazard. Law still remembered it anyway.

„You’re my friend.“, Luffy said instead, because really Torao was very slow on the uptake on that. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want to call them ‚friends‘, they were friends anyway. Because Luffy said so and because he really liked Torao and because Torao seemed like he needed a friend. „Even though no one can say your last name“, he added as an afterthought, because a great as Torao was, he had the worst last name.

„Literally everyone but you can. And I’ve told you to just call me Law“, Torao shot back, tho it lacked any real fire. Like he was tired of arguing and was just accepting his fate. Good, he was Luffy’s friend no matter how often Luffy needed to remind him of that.

„I really like you“, Luffy told him, once again for good measure. He didn’t get a real answer from Law on that, but his cheeks got a light color, like Sanji’s cheeks did, when Nami or Robin complimented his food. Sanji was always really happy then, so Torao had to be really happy now. And Luffy just called him his friend. Which apparently Torao needed to hear that they were friends way more, if it made him this happy from just hearing it once.

„I really like you, too, Strawhat-ya“, Torao mumbled and he couldn’t even look him in the eye, but that was alright with Luffy. If Luffy brought it up in front of his crew, Torao would probably deny ever having said that, like Zoro denied being worried about Sanji, too. But that didn’t matter, because Torao had said it and that made Luffy happier than almost anything in recent memory. (Sabo still being alive was a big thing, that made him happier than he ever remembered being, but that was the only other thing. Even Sanji’s cooking didn’t come before this and Sanji’s cooking was perfect.)

„Okay, so no more plans that would have you die. You’re too important for me to just let you die. Okay?“, Luffy insisted and Toraos eyes glazed over like he remembered something very important and very far away. Luffy knew that feeling so he allowed Torao the few seconds he very obviously needed, before he inquired again: „Okay?“

Torso seemed like he was abruptly thrown out of something rather intense, but he didn’t seem mad. One side of his lips quirked upwards, as if he wanted to smile, but it didn’t become a real smile. Which was another problem that Luffy would tackle eventually. (He’s seen Torao smirk plenty of times but he couldn’t remember one genuine smile.) For now, Torao’s insurance that, yes, he wouldn’t bet his life this easily again would have to be enough. He didn’t want Torao to promise to survive. Not like Ace did, not again. But he wanted Torao to do his best, to see him become the pirate king. Torso smirked again, at that, and mocked Luffy for being too sure of himself.

„What if I find the One Piece before you do?“, Torao asked, clearly not as serious as he pretended to be. But he was lighthearted again, the tension in the air completely dissolved, so Luffy could humor him. Torao had asked an important question, after all.

„You won’t. But I will still really like you, even when I’m King of the Pirates.“

And somehow, Law seemed really happy about this. Maybe, liking Torao more than originally planned would work out for Luffy, after all.

#lawlu #lawlu fanfic #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #one piece luffy #monkey d luffy #luffy is luffy #luffy is people smart #law isnt #but we knew that already #heart to heart #law is bad at feelings

[misc-headcanons]

(The Straw Hats and Scabbards at the castle ruins, as well as Katakuri's children and O-Tama are eating dinner. The large dining room in the castle has been mostly cleaned of dust and cobwebs, but it's clear that it's been abandoned like the rest of the area for years. Vanilla is talking excitedly with O-Tama, Fritter is keeping to himself, Dochi and Ube are eagerly listening to Luffy talk about his previous adventures, and Maple is expertly eavesdropping on every conversation at once while she eats.)

Vanilla: Wow, you're a ninja-in-training, O-Tama? I'm a witch-in-training! Or, well, I dunno if "witch" is the right word. My momma always says that not everyone who uses magic's a witch, but I like saying it. Papa says I'm too cute to be a witch, but I think witches can be cute. Ninjas can be cute too, right?

O-Tama: I guess so. But I wanna be strong and stealthy as a kunoichi, not cute. I'm training to be a force to be reckoned with!

Vanilla: Yeah, but I think you can be a great fighter AND cute. I mean look at Mr. Chopper! He's a member of Luffy's crew so he can fight really well, but he's super fluffy and sweet too.

Chopper: Awww, who're ya calling a good fighter and cute? How dare you, hehehe~

Vanilla: See? Cool AND cute, just like you, O-Tama!

(Sanji notices Fritter's silence so far and gently puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Sanji: How do you like the soup, Fritter?

Fritter: Oh! Um, it's...it's really good. I'm happy I finally got to eat something you made, even if it wasn't at the castle. You really are a good cook, Uncl--Um, Not-Uncle Sanji.

Sanji: I think I remember Pudding saying you wanted to be a chef one day when you grew up, right?

Fritter: Uh-huh. Dochi and Ube wanna be fighters, and Maple's gonna be in charge of communi--um...comm-you...

Maple, offhandedly: Communications. What Uncle Monty does, remember?

Fritter: Yeah, that. So everyone in the family can talk to each other easy and not get messages wrong. And she's probably gonna be a really important Minister too, since she's so smart and good with magic. But I just wanna cook and bake in the kitchen with the chefs. They like to let me watch while they work, and I have my own chair where I sit and watch and everything!

Sanji: I bet you'll be a great chef, just like your Aunt Chiffon with cake and your Aunt Pudding with chocolate.

(Fritter smiles up at Sanji.)

Fritter: Thanks. I'm gonna make people happy whenever I cook something, just like you!

(Dochi and Ube are seated next to each other, practically bouncing in their seats as they hear more and more about the Straw Hats and the Scabbards)

Dochi: Wait, Miss Nami, you managed to make Zeus YOUR familiar!? Holy crap, that's so cool! I mean, Grandma probably doesn't think it is, but still...wow! Do you use magic like mom?

Nami: Well, I dunno if it's how your mom does things, haha. I mean the people I learned from were called "weather wizards", but it's more about science and learning about climate and stuff than spells.

Maple: Mom always says that "magic is just science turned sideways." Both have solid theories on how they work, and experimenting with both makes you more knowledgeable and powerful. Plus, even if it isn't powered by magic specifically, your staff seems like it has similar functions to mom's.

Ube: And Luffy, I still can't believe you fought Papa and didn't like...die! He's never fought anyone like you before. And the way you two weaponized your softer powers with rubber and Mochi with Armament Haki!? That was so cool!

Dochi: Yeah! Me and Ube were going nuts the whole fight while we watched through one of Auntie Brulee's mirrors. If Mama hadn't held us back, we woulda definitely tried to watch in-person.

Ube: And WE wouldn't ruin it the way Flampe tried to, either. I can't believe she thought Papa needed her help. OOOH, and when she started making fun of Papa's face--

Dochi: Yeah, that was WAY out of line... Mama had to put me and Ube into our own bubbles so we couldn't hop in there to kick her ass!

Vanilla, in a scandalized tone: Dochi! Don't say that! Auntie Flampe was really mean, but still...

Ube: You're right, 'Nilla. We were ready to kick Flampe's butt. And with that dress she wears all the time, it woulda been easy to kick that big, stupid, floating BUTT of hers!

(Fritter, Vanilla, and O-Tama snicker and try to hide how much they're smiling and giggling behind their hands.)

Luffy: How is Katakuri, anyway? I didn't really get to see if he got taken care of or anything before I had to get to my ship. That Mirror Lady probably got to him, right?

Ube: He had to stay in bed for a few weeks, but Mama and Auntie Brulee worked hard to make him better.

Vanilla: And me and Fritter, too! I helped with healing magic on his little cuts and scrapes, and Fritter always fluffed his pillows and stuff.

Fritter: Yeah, and I helped the chefs make donuts for his Meriendas too!

Ube: Oh. Uh yeah, they helped too. But most of it was Brulee being a good nurse and Mom being good with her magic. The day we fell through the portal here, he was taking walks and stuff every day.

Dochi: Heh, and practicing with his trident whenever he knew Mom wasn't around to scold him for getting too carried away.

Luffy: Aw, I get that. Chopper's always saying I'm not healed up enough to do stuff sometimes after a big fight, but I just do it anyway. I bet Katakuri's the same way with your mom.

(Maple's attention is turned to Law.)

Maple: So, I imagine that if you and Luffy are allies, you're the one with a plan to take Kaido on. You seem more...um, strategic than him.

Law: That's one way of putting it...Yes, I do have a plan.

Maple: Hm. You know, now that I know you two were planning to target him, some of the news about you makes a bit more sense. Destroying the main resources for SMILE production in Punk Hazard; kidnapping that idiot scientist to use as leverage in Dressrosa; defeating Doflamingo, Kaido's most powerful ally outside of his own crew and a major source of intel, manpower, and influence...I had a feeling that there was something tying it together.

Law: You're pretty sharp for someone your age. I'm not surprised your Uncle Mont-d'or would want you as the head of communication and intel for the Big Mom Pirates after he's gone.

Maple: Thanks. I'm just glad that there's some explanation for why you and Luffy's crew were seen traveling and fighting together so often. Though to be honest, I was surprised to hear that Doflamingo was sent to prison; if what I'd heard and seen about your history was true, I was expecting you to kill Doflamingo in Dressrosa. But Luffy doesn't seem to support killing your enemies if you can help it.

Law: How do you--

Maple: Don't worry, the Big Mom pirates don't know about that. Not even Uncle Monty does.

Law: And how do you?

Maple: The same way I know the Scabbards over there got sent through time and how they're the surviving retainers of Lord Oden, and that they're trying to defeat Kaido and this Orochi guy so Momonosuke can take his rightful place on the throne. Keeping secrets from me is a pretty hard thing to do.

Ube: Yeesh, quit acting so mysterious. You know everyone's business because you know Mom's spells on reading someone's memories and the All-Seeing Eye and--mmpgh!

(Maple's uses a quick spell to make Ube's tongue stick to the roof of his mouth. She narrows her eyes and frowns at him.)

Maple: And how to stop brothers from sharing too much with strangers. For someone who wants to be a leader within Big Mom's pirate crew, you'd think you'd remember that loose lips sink ships, Ube.

Vanilla: I thought most of Gramma's ships sank after people shot a bunch of cannons and bombs at 'em...

(After she stops giggling, Dochi uses some of her own magic to free Ube's tongue. Ube glares at Maple before turning to ask Zoro about what it's like to fight with a sword in your mouth.)

Maple: Look, I know you're a smart man and you clearly have a talent for strategy. But I just want to make what the backup is in case things go wrong.

Law: You're a newcomer, you don't even know the full extent of the plan, and you're demanding to know more? Just because you're a clever kid with magic, that doesn't mean I'm going to reveal every step of this to you. Your uncle had to have taught you that only one person should ever know the full strategy plan, and that's the one who planned it out.

Maple: Yeah, he did. I'm not asking you to trust me that much; if I were in your position, I certainly wouldn't. All I want to know is what my siblings and I can do to help and ensure that when things go wrong, we can be useful and get things back on track. You've just been handed a very valuable wild card, and I want to make sure you use us wisely.

Dochi: Whaddya mean 'when things go wrong', Maple? With Law's crew, the Straw Hats, the Scabbards, and all the allies they've got here, we're all super strong and you said that Law's really good with strategy.

Maple: True. But when it comes to HIM...(Maple gestures to Luffy, who's gulping down the last of his soup) you have the wildest card of all. And he seems to blow through any well-laid plan without any second thought. (She leans back in her chair a bit and crosses her arms) Whatever plan you have in mind, Mr. Law, it's pointless if you really haven't got a backup in mind for whenever he manages to completely ruin it.

Kin'emon: Do you really think someone as young and inexperienced as yourself could come up with a better idea?

Maple: I'm young, not inexperienced. Believe me, as the eldest in a family of five siblings imbued with magic and various forms of Haki, I'm an expert in making plans that are bound to be thrown off course by the chaotic whims of someone close to you. So, Mr. Law...what have you got in mind?

#one piece #one piece oc #dochi #maple #ube #vanilla #fritter #oc #wano #wano spoilers

[neverwatchedonepiece]

601-602: "Shaking up the New World! Caesar's Horrendous Experiment!" and "The Deadliest Weapon of Mass Destruction in History! Shinokuni"

Don’t think Law’s up for it, Caesar...

This may be a controversial opinion, but I think Caesar is great.

Not a great person, obviously. I mean, if you think Caesar is a wonderful person, you probably need therapy. But. As a character? As a villain in the crapsaccharine world of OP which is rammed with strong personalities? Yeah. Absolutely a good, fun-time villain.

So far, he is unrepentantly, unashamedly wicked. He is a business-minded, deceitful, manipulative snake with charisma through the roof, who also happens to be an excellent scientist. He has a flamboyant, dramatic, highly-strung personality, which is super entertaining. He has a memorable design and a hilariously expressive face. (YMMV, of course. I know a lot of people hate villains like Caesar, but I love them.)

It’s early days yet. I mean something could yet happen that might make me go off him (e.g. I hate it when villains are woobified). But right now, Caesar is stealing the show. I look forward to watching each episode because I wonder what that deranged monster is going to do next.

Now Luffy and Law’s fight back is about to begin, I await his screeching downfall with baited breath. (As much as I love villains, I also love watching their plans unravel.)

Last Christmas, a Clown Kept Your Heart

And the very next day, he gave it away.

Next year, to save himself tears, 

Law allied with Strawhat Luffy.

I’ll bet that joke has been done to death, undeath, and back again, but come on! Who can resist such low-hanging fruit? Caesar Clown is the gift that keeps on giving.

He was on sparkling form again across episodes 601 and 602.

The action kicked in with Smoker’s Marines hammering at Caesar’s front door. One Marine began to notice they were the only ones left outside. Caesar’s minions had hoofed it round the back. Wasn’t that strange? He was ignored. (Don’t worry. We heard you, random fodder Marine.)

An airship passed overhead (they must be a thing in the OPverse as the Marines recognised it.) Caesar arrived with the Lab Kiddies in tow.

“Come on, children, you can get off now,” he sang. “And remember, this is your home. Don’t ever go out on your own. And of course you can have candy soon. Go straight back to the biscuit room. I’ve left plenty of candy in there for you. Now, I have to go back to my research room. Relax and enjoy the delicious, delicious candies.”

Trans: you kids are bugging me already. Beat it back to your room so I can get back to marketing my chemical weapons to dodgy brokers round the world.

The black-haired girl called Mocha had a flash of regret. She was lucid for just long enough to realise she’d just walked right back into hell again. “Nami and the others were very nice to me!” she screamed, banging on the door, “why is it so scary here? Is it because I’m not a good child?” (Caesar must have said stuff like that to them before. Bad things happen to you if you’re not a good child. I only give my crack-candy to the good children, etc.)

Back in Caesar’s lounge/bar whatever it is, Vergo got a fucking spoon stuck on his face while drinking coffee. That guy must have adhesive stubble, or something. He was wondering what was taking Caesar so long?

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, right? 

The first thing Caesar did was apologise to Vergo for keeping him waiting. At this point I still had no idea why Vergo was there. To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure why Vergo showing up is a bad thing for Law. Like, of course Caesar would rat out a threat to his boss, but if Caesar had Law’s heart, he could have just squished it once Monet told him Law had been making arrangements with the Strawhats behind his back.)

Caesar bitched that Vergo didn’t have Smoker under better control (because when Smoker showed up, Caesar had a brief ohshit moment). Vergo admitted that Smoker is a wild card and that no one has control of him. Buuuuut.... now Smoker will be dead soon, so it was all cool.

Law Pushes Caesar’s Buttons

Caesar, who had missed the welcome party, took a moment to become acquainted his his new hostages and indulge in a spot of button pushing.

“Look at yourself, Law. I bet you were quite helpless against Vergo, hm? The deal I had with you worked in my favour.”

Now the heart-in-a-box squishing stuff makes much more sense. Turns out Law can also shamble his own heart into a box (not the best idea when dealing with a treacherous snake of a scientist, to be honest).

When Law first turned up, looking to stay on Punk Hazard, Caesar said: “In exchange for letting you stay, you’re going to give my people legs? Fine. But since you’re stronger than me and I’M the boss of this island, if you want to stay here, I need insurance. I want to entrust my dear secretary Monet’s heart to you. In return, I keep your heart and it’s a deal. As long as we have each other by the balls, you can’t do anything bad and I’ll feel safe.”

Interesting. Caesar sees Law as being stronger than him. Probably a known haki user? Caesar can’t be that strong then. He’s just tricky and/or has a strong fruit. Also, notice Caesar did not volunteer his own heart. He volunteered Monet’s.

For a moment I wondered why Caesar was blaming Law for the whole trust issue. Hadn’t Caesar called Vergo on Law for some random, unknown reason?

Nah, turns out Monet had overheard Law’s plan to kidnap him and forge an alliance with the Strawhats.

I mean, sure Caesar is pretty evil and all, but if I were him and my lodger was teaming up with some dude and planning to kidnap me, I’d call my boss for backup too. Why he gave the heart to Vergo is kind of a mystery, but whatever. I’ll find out soon enough if I need to know.

Law, being caught out, went straight for the roast.

“You’ve been saved by your diligent secretary, eh? I should’ve been more careful about Monet. Since the “Master” was so dumb, I didn’t care much.”

Ooooooooh, Caesar was maaaaaaad. He hates being called dumb. (I bet it’s that superiority complex. Vegapunk has always been the glorious, lauded genius while he has to work in the shadows for psychos.) 

Just before Caesar took out his wounded ego on Smoker’s heart, Monet said the Smiley-cam video feed was ready. 

No, You Didn’t, You Sentient Gas-Blob Murderer! How Could You?

So Caesar immediately switched his attention to his Big Marketing Campaign. A caged Marine could wait. Not a priority.

All over the OPverse, brokers and dodgy characters watched Caesar’s Big Moment (by the way, did I see Laffite in 602? I spied a tall top hat and a bottle of Jack Daniels-type booze on a table). 

Caesar gleefully explained how Smiley worked. Smiley was the HS2 poison gas bomb that killed almost everything on Punk Hazard four years ago. However, there was a problem with Caesar’s experiment last time round. It killed *almost* everything. Despite being at death’s door, some inconvenient survivors insisted on surviving. How rude!

To counteract that, he has given Smiley a boost that will sort the whole survivors issue.

And, oh, the fake tears! The hilarity when Smiley would not do what the fuck Caesar said. “SMILEY, I MISSED YOU! THIS BRINGS BACK WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! I HAVE A DELICIOUS TREAT FOR YOU---- WAIT, DON’T EAT THAT NOW... well, um... I suppose it’s okay... YES, HAHAHAHA, EAT THE TREAT!”

You’re not fooling anyone, Caesar. xD

The giant candy Smiley munched fizzed like a seltzer. Smiley was not feeling so good. It was kind of a shame, actually. I’d grown to like Smiley. It was like a giant, deadly, disobedient dog who does not listen to a word its human says when food is involved.

And Caesar disguised Smiley’s death as a treat.

With a Slasher Smile Like That, You Probably Petrify People on a Daily Basis

Well, Caesar would say Smiley is reborn. “Good work, Smiley! I will see you again! Be reborn, Smiley!”

But Smiley is definitely dead. (The whole bit with the apples was kind of confusing but I think I’ve worked it out... Smiley must have eaten an animal DF to become the sentient gas blob he was. This explains why the shot kept panning to apples in a sack. Then, when Smiley died, one of them turned into a Devil Fruit. Smiley had given it up when he died.)

R.I.P, Smiley.

And welcome Shinokuni, the Land of Death: the latest and greatest weapon of mass destruction!

Caesar definitely must’ve fallen out the psycho tree and hit every branch on the way down when he was a kid, because, man, that guy was *way* too excited to watch his fodder goons come croppers to Shinokuni. 

“Yes! It worked! No one can get away this time. The problem last time was survivors. They could still run even after being poisoned. This gas clings to their skin like ash, enters through the kind and paralyses the whole body! Yes, give us a good glimpse of hell!”

Now, I don’t know if any of you guys have ever watched a movie called Event Horizon, but there’s this messed up scene when the rescue crew discover the ship’s log of the crew who disappeared on a spaceship seven years before. The log is... yeah... it’s messed up. It’s like a glimpse of hell. (Don’t google it if you hate horror movies.)

(Something tells me Caesar would have been totally okay on the Event Horizon. Knowing him, it probably would have been his fault. He’d be in a room, absolutely fine, while literal hell is breaking loose outside on deck. xD)

That Moment When Everyone Really Hopes It’s Usopp

While Caesar is sacrificing pets to achieve an upgraded pet, the rest of the Strawhats were still outside while the Purple Mountain of Oh Shit What Is That? was thundering down the mountain and over the island. 

Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Foxfire had a front row seat! They were smart and ran sideways. This bought them a bit of time while Caesar’s minions were Pompeii’d. 

And that running scene was golden, by the way. I’m disappointed I limited myself to one screenshot of it. Loved it when Sanji tried to figure out what was going on and Foxfire yelled, “Shut up and run!”

Zoro was generally impressed by the all-round quality of running on show, but suggested if the assembled could run faster than the wind, that’d be great. Luckily, they caught up with a sled-pulling dragon (that Caesar deliberately set free so his minions would be stranded). I’m guessing the dragon will head home and that will be how Zoro and the others end up back in Caesar’s lab.

Nami and Usopp also managed to hitch a ride before the Purple Gas Cloud of Doom hit their patch of the mountain. Brownbeard hauled himself out from under a huge metal pipe. He gained the strength to do this from sheer hatred of Caesar Clown (lol). Brownbeard wants to save his crew from Caesar, which is kind of nice. He’s a good guy after all. Usopp suggested they join forces because they wanted to save the experiment kids from Caesar.

Brownbeard knows where the lab is and probably knows most of the entrances. He’ll smuggle Nami and Usopp inside no bother, I’ll bet.

Caesar’s Need To Show Off Will Be His Undoing

While most of the free Strawhats were hauling ass away from the Purple Cloud That Is No Longer Smiley (I’m still weirdly bitter about Smiley), Luffy, caged in the lab watched as Zoro and the others ran faster than the wind. Once Luffy established that, hey, the Samurai Guy getting his legs back was not a top priority right now, (lol, Robin!) he tried to shout advice to Zoro.

Unfortunately, Luffy, you can’t shout through a video feed. But Caesar hear him and floated over to gloat. “Are they your friends, Strawhat? Unsurprising. They’re strong. But soon they’ll run out of breath and be poisoned. And eventually, there will be only an uninhabitable land of death. No one outside this lab will survive. And neither will any of you! Now, prove it to the world! Before this weapon of mass destruction, a pirate with a 400 million bounty, a Vice-Admiral and even a Shichibukai are totally helpless against a tide of death.”

A lever was pulled.

And I think Caesar made his big mistake: letting the Strawhats out of his sight.

Law (I think it was him) chucked a rolled up message to Chopper, who fretted in the shadows about what to do. “Don’t do anything.”

This Face Does Not Bode Well for Caesar

Because now the Strawhats are out of Caesar’s line of sight, they can talk tactics, regroup and launch their fight back.

Can’t help but think if Caesar had not insisted on using the Strawhats as an example, he could have disposed of them quietly in the lab, or used them as test subjects forever. Of course, that would have been - bam! - end of manga. And we cannot have that.

Three cheers for Caesar’s need to show off! His arrogance and ego have prolonged the plot!

Thank you, Caesar, for that one dumb thing you did. xD

Chopper saw what you did that one time and is judging you.

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #caesar clown #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #sanji #usopp #nami #tony tony chopper #nico robin #franky #brook #vice admiral smoker #captain tashigi #vergo #monet #smiley #shinokuni #brownbeard #punk hazard

[jollyviscreal666]

The Fortune

This story is to get an idea. It is currently being edited. This is the original version.

One Saturday Night on a clear night a fair stood on the fairgrounds of Santa Rosa county fair. One different rather particular individual by the name of Samson Hilington was there at that fair on the fairgrounds. He had just arrived with his dad and sister. He’s been to the fair there before many other times, but recent times tell him that nobody wants him there. No one wants him anywhere. The only people that cared about him were his family and a very few friends. That’s just a little part of trouble that makes his life suck. People, especially peers treat him really badly.

His peers classify him as a socially awkward fool who nobody likes and nobody cares about. He’s been bullied his whole life. Tonight he was hoping to change that. He looked forward going to the fair to see people and ride rides and stuff. But the most best thing he looked forward to was this amazing attraction called the “Fortune Teller”. It’s probably been used up for some time. Samson was prepared for anything. He was really desperate to get to that fortune teller machine.

He didn’t even want to stop and watch the magic show, but his dad made him. Samson’s sister Elane was off with some friends she saw. Samson sat and watched the magic show in the tent. He did enjoy it. He’s seen it before though. Every time it’s similar or a little different. Whether it was better or not he couldn’t compare them. Samson enjoyed shooting the construction paper target with the Thompson air gun.

If you hit the center and make it completely disappear you get a prize. Samson has never succeeded it before. Sometimes Samson would see students he knew from his school and they would greet him nicely. But when he was in school they’d treat him like a piece of trash. The sad thing is they still treat him like that to this very day. Even when his emotions are changed and mixed. So he tries to avoid them in his school. He tried to become friends with students one grade below him. He recently found out the sad truth that they hated him too.

He knew it was the truth. They acted like his friend though. Especially some particular individuals. They were girls. Girls are kinder and easier to get along with. Plus they are beautiful and precious and fortunately their made to fall in love with man. That is what makes this matter about him so infamous prior to him. That is one of the most infamous things he is known for. Nobody wants poor little Samson. He’s a good kid it’s just that no one understands him and he doesn’t get why.

Then they treat him harshly. He demands the answers from his shady enemies. They just make him guess and continue harassing him. He didn’t realize how bad they truly were. They were so mean that all the other peers around him seemed nicer except for the same graders who will never change. He walked around the fair with his dad and they spoke. He ran into some enemies from school. They’re three guys.

Samson has a load of male enemies. Most of them he obtained from trying to talk to their girlfriends. He didn’t do it on purpose. He was just trying to talk and make friends. But every time he did, that often happened. Usually it was over the phone or on Facebook. Samson didn’t want to meet any in person cause he knew how it would end up. And he was right. He has the started intention to fight them all.

But he knows that the reality is that he couldn’t beat any of them in a fight. Anyone from 14 to 75 he had no chance. He immediately turned away and walked. Those guys were his most prior enemy right now. Since nobody likes Samson and he is treated like that. One day at his school the table he sat at was more crowded than usual. That’s because it was raining outside and everyone was more crammed in than usual. That means Samson had to be a little more closer to his enemies than usual.

It was tense and manic. It ended pretty badly. Samson rested his head on one side. The little punk next to him told him to move over. Samson was offended by this. He moved closer to provoke the punk. The punk got fed up and slang Samson’s tray to the side and Samson slanged the punks lunchbox to the side. The punk got up and Samson put his hands up ready for a fight.

Samson really wanted to punch the punk in the face but decided not to. What Samson hated a lot was the two worst enemies who pretended to be his friend would treat kids like that as normal friends. That punk was a shrimp. Just a little bit taller than Samson but definitely skinnier. Samson might be able to beat him up. But he probably couldn’t beat up the other two who were with the punk. They weren’t really buffed but they were taller than Samson. Ever since they would pick on Samson non-stop.

Samson got fed up with it and now he wants to fight them. They’ve never stepped forward though. Samson ran into a girl into his grade and she offered him a high five. But he declined. There was huge crowds of young beautiful girls. His favorite kind. There was music playing of course. R and B, Pop, rap, nice party songs. Samson didn’t ever ride any of the spinning rides usually. They make him sick. But he loves roller coasters.

He got on the Screamer at the fair. That’s a decent thrill ride that doesn’t go upside down but it’s still fun and thrilling. It’s the one that is on a pile and you sit with a group of people. The giant seat consisted of two rows. One below the other. It was a great ride. More people kept arriving. A lot were young beautiful girls that Samson likes. Samson did ride some of those spinning rides in the past.

It’s awkward because when he thinks of it now he wonders how he possibly have endured all that. The surprise of it is that he actually did that. He did go on that spinning car ride that spins stationary cars. They have that every year at the fair. He’s done it a couple of times. I guess he can ride some of those rides but at the moment he thinks they will make him sick recently in an instant. But he even rode those things that spin on the platform that moves. As well as those swings that spin.

He rode a super cool ride last year called the Clawster. It twirled you around as it spinned crossways. The ring of fire was an okay ride. He usually rode it every time but this year he didn’t feel like it for some reason. Probably because his cousin wasn’t with him or none of his few friends. If his cousin was there then he probably would have ridden it. His favorite ride at the fair of all time that they had was the one shaped like a hot dog. The carts attached to it flipped miraculously as the structure turned its course. Him and his cousin rode it a dozen times when they went to the fair together about two years ago.

It is a very fun ride. Around the twelfth time he did get sick though and he had to stop. He claimed that because he ate a total of seven popsicles that morning with his younger cousin. It was the reason why he became sick. It made perfect sense. It’s ridiculous because for three years in a row Samson threw up. Every time before he went to the fair with his dad and sister they ate chic-fil-a. When he rode the boat rocking ride it was great and fun but that is the one he kept vomiting on.

Three years and the same stuff. When he was younger, he did ride the dragon roller coaster. But he’s too big for that now. If he tried to get on it it’d be like trying to get in those tyke jeeps that have those little motors. He always wanted one as a child. They are plastic and battery operated. It’s like a go cart for two year olds. It barely moved but as a child he craved it. They had the dragon roller coaster every year at the fair as well.

They seem to have the same rides. The two rides he didn’t notice was his most favorite and the claw. They might have been there but he didn’t notice them. Him and his dad continued to circle the fair. There’s two slides this year. There might have been last year but Samson would have no idea. If there was only one last year then it would be remarkable. He would ride each of them.

With his father of course. You ride on a sack, you know and slide down in delight and joy. They had to pay in tickets because they didn’t arrive at 3 because they wanted to come more later because they knew more people would be there and they didn’t want to miss them. Before he rode the two slides he rode the electronic ride that takes you up and drops you down. His dad did not ride that one with him though. It looked somewhat hazardous to him. It went fairly high. It was white. The drop was okay but it wasn’t that thrilling. They also went into the house of mirrors.

His dad told him it was fun to try to figure out where to go into the mirrors. It seems like they have a lot of the rides that they previously had. The brands or the names have changed though. It was the same type of ride it was just that the brand was different. This year they have two shows. A magic show and a gymnastic trick show. Every year they always have something to do with animals. This year is pretty fascinating. They have a camel you can ride and a wolf exhibit.

The wolves are in a big cage and for a lot of the time they were out of their places to let people who came around to see them and listen to the lady talk about them. The wolves had names. It was a domestic organization that wolf keepers raise and domesticate and they take them on tour. It’s pretty cool. It’s amazing. Samson and his dad have never been so close to wolves before. When the wolves were put up the exhibit charge was five bucks per person. The primary exhibit was free as anyone who walked by could stand or sit and watch the wolves.

But afterwards you could get even closer if you paid the admission price. They did so. The camel also cost money to ride. Samson took a ten minute break between every ride. So he wouldn’t get sick and vomit. This is a precaution due to three years of vomiting. His parents forced him to eat because they think it’s so important. So he has to take great precautions.

So the wolves and the walking were a good thing. Plus the wolves really fascinated Samson. The wolf was probably his new favorite animal. The next attraction they attended was the gymnast trick show. It was a good show. All the people performing were Hispanics or Latino. The first to perform was a medium sized sort of chubby Latina girl. She handled a ton of hula hoops all over her body. She did tricks. It was alright. She was actually talented. A short Hispanic man dressed like a clown without face paint, but did have a red nose on, was tossing her hula hoops when he needed to. The next performer was a medium sized guy dressed as Spider-Man.

The costume was exceptionally legit movie merchandise. He hung from a pole designed for him in various different ways as it spun. At the end he flipped off. He went behind the curtains. The show was hosted by a sort-of-Latin like woman speaking in and out of view. The next performer was the little Latino man only this time he was dressed as a chef by the name of ‘chef Pepito’

He was to wash plates with his special machine cause the act was that he was the servant of the woman. She was making him do the dishes.

“Ladies, isn’t it fair for the men to do the dishes?” the girls hollered yes. This was his performance. His machine consisted of a good six movable metal poles with tips at the top. He was told to dry the dishes before she got back. He placed a dish on each pole. He wiggled the poles to keep them moving. To keep the plates spinning. Though some of them looked like they were going to fall, he maintained them no matter what.

When his performance was over, people clapped and the next performance was the woman herself. She was a gymnast. She climbed the rope and spun around and did tricks. The song that was playing was ‘Bring me back to life’ by Evanescence. That seemed like the end but sure enough it wasn’t. The last performance is a biker. The biker drove in a metalized ball with openings as if it were made of steel. The biker was a boy and he rode up, down, across, and diagonally.

Samson was questioning in his mind if the biker could do a loop in the ball. A full loop. Surely enough the woman announced that he should. He prayed and he took off. Success!!. It was simply accomplished. He did it several times. The audience clapped. The biker exited the ball. Another biker came out from the curtains. This was a girl.

She took the same steps as the guy did. Then stunningly, they rode in the ball together. They crossed each other. Diagonally and all. It was the best of the whole show. This was the most fiercest of them all out of the tricks that they did. Definitely the most dangerous.

“So the chef is the husband and their a family?” asked Samson to his dad.

“I have no idea” replied his father. The show was like the wolf exhibit. It wasn’t a tent like the magic show. Anyone could come by and watch. It did have mini bleachers but so did the wolf exhibit. The fair always has things like that. Last year they had Colombian gymnast fighters on a giant pirate ship. They were good.

As for animals. They had like a three legged sheep and two headed snake and a giant horse. Samson remembers that two years ago they had a giant man eating python. This year is better. The wolves are fantastic and the show is accurate. Samson and his dad talked and planned to see the show again. His dad suggested it. He was fine with that. He didn’t mind the nice peaceful show.

As they walked around they met Elane a couple of times. The reason why Samson wasn’t riding a lot was because most of the rides spin non-stop. The only two he can ride are the drop one and the Screamer. The drop one wasn’t worth it, the Screamer had a huge line, and he doesn’t feel like riding the Ring of fire. The Screamer was a great ride. He planned to ride it again but the line and crowd towards it was too big.

“We’ll leave in thirty minutes” said Samson’s dad.

“Pops! Can I at least have enough for the fortune teller? You promised” said Samson.

“Whatever, I don’t see what you want if for anyway” said Samson dad.

“Don’t worry about it” Samson replied quickly and took the cash and took off to the fortune booth. The fortune booth has a creepy wax fortune teller person. There’s a total of three booths per person. Soon it’s Samson’s turn. He is excited. The figure is eerily animatronic. A built in voice coming out of the box said “Step right up and claim your future, whether it be surprise or sorry place your money below and prepare to be bewildered” it said.

The robot barely moved. It definitely wasn’t a state of the art design in Samson’s mind. Samson put the dollar in and a ball shot out and came out of the slot out from the box. The metal silver ball is medium sized. He opened it and took out the paper and unfolded it. He stared hard and read it.

“Your parts will be apart in a hide of a canidean foe”. Samson put it in his pocket and he thought hard. He exited the tent. He couldn’t take his mind off the fortune.

“What the heck does canidean mean again?” Samson asked himself. Samson paced along. He has no idea where his father is. As he paced along he felt a hard hand hit his back. He flinched and then turned around astonishingly. It’s one of Samson’s classmates from school.

“Sup man, want to hang out with us?” asked Robert. Girls with other guys are laughing at him.

“Nah” replied Samson.

“Why not man?” asked Robert.

“I don’t know, but hey! Did you do that fortune thing?” asked Samson.

“Yeah man” replied Robert.

“What did yours say?” asked Samson. Robert laughed.

“Something about losing my money hold or something like that” said Robert.

“Did it happen?” asked Samson.

“Not really man, we got to go! See you later!” said Robert. He lightly tapped Samson on the shoulder.

“Hey wait!! What about mine?” said Samson. Robert turned around.

“Let me see it” said Jamal. Jamal looked at it and laughed. The girls snickered behind him. Jamal showed Robert the paper. Robert snickered strongly. Jamal handed it back to Samson.

“What does Canidean mean again?” asked Samson.

“I don’t know man, talk to you later okay?” said Robert. He turned around with his friends and walked away. Samson continued to move forward. He spotted a pretty girl he liked to talk to. She was in a group of other fine young women. Samson thinks she is fantastic. He talked to her and all of them seemed sort of kind for some reason. He is in joy.

He loves it when pretty girls are nice to him. It was a jolly great time for him. They are being so nice to him. After riding two rides with them they asked kindly if he could go back and come back later. They asked with a sort of desperate look on their faces. They told him to meet them at a specific time with a funnel cake. He heard them out and paced off with a smile on his face. He walked along and he spotted his dad hanging out still like as if he’s waiting for somebody.

“Pops!” called out Samson as he made his way towards him.

“My son! How are you? Are you okay? Did you have fun?” said his father. He put his hands on Samson’s shoulders.

“I’m fine pops! But I’m not done yet!” said Samson quickly and excitedly. He automatically started again. “I have to meet these girls at eleven. And they asked me to bring a funnel cake” said Samson.

“What!” exclaimed Samson’s dad.

“But we’re leaving at ten thirty” said Samson’s dad.

“Dad please, this barely ever happens. You have to let me, come on now!” said Samson. His dad threw out an expressionless sigh. He gave Samson the money for the funnel cake.

“Oh, and pops I got this fortune paper form the fortune teller” said Samson. He handed the paper to his dad.

“I can’t figure out what it means” said Samson. They paced along.

“I’ve got my phone, let me look it up” said Samson’s dad. He took out his phone and he looked it up.

“Canidae relates to all the animals in the animal kingdom that have four legs” explained Samson’s dad.

“Four legs crap” said Samson.

“You know none of those fortunes are true” said Samson’s dad.

“They’re just big lies for thrills, entertainment, and amusement” said Samson’s dad. .Samson nodded in agreement.

“Have you seen Elane?” asked Samson’s dad.

“No have you?” asked Samson. Samson’s dad shook his head.

“Oh snap! It’s ten minutes until eleven I got to go!” exclaimed Samson.

“Bye, see you soon” said Samson and he lost himself with a crowd. To his surprise, only about five minutes later did he spot Elane with a group of peers. They are near those famous adolescent spinning swings.

“Elane!” called out Samson.

“Hold on, my brother needs me” said Elane. She rushed out to Samson and visa versa.

“Where have you been? Where’s dad. Is he mad?” all said by Elane.

“No, dad’s fine. I’m going to see a group of hot girls and spend some more time with them!” said Samson excitedly.

“You shouldn’t stalk people” stated Elane.

“I’m not stalking them, they invited me. Therefore I am their friend” said Samson. Elane looked away.

“Oh, and did you do the fortune thing?” asked Samson.

“Yeah” replied Elane.

“What’s your fortune?” asked Samson.

“Mine said something about having relationship messed up things” responded Elane.

“Damn! Are all these fortunes negative?” wondered Samson aloud scolding like.

“Here! Look at mine” he threw the paper in front of her. She read it.

“Canidean means four legged animal” said Samson.

“Maybe it means you’re going to kiss the camel’s butt or something” said Elane laughing.

“In that case I’ll stay away from the camel” said Samson.

“What about the wolves?” asked Elane.

“I already saw the wolves” said Samson.

“I’m not petting no wolf” said Samson seriously.

“Then we’ll have to wait and see” said Elane smiling.

“Take it easy, we’ll talk later” she said. She went back into the crowd to find her friends. He ran and quickly bought a funnel cake. Then he went to the spot where they said they would be. He spotted them. A smile spread on his face. He began to make his way over. A figure came rushing out of the corner and knocked the funnel cake out of Samson’s hands and strongly force like shoved Samson to the ground.

It took a few seconds to realize who the attacker was. Grady. Grady is one of Samson’s worst enemies. Grady threatened to beat up Samson many times and shoved him hard in the hallway once.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!!? Scolded Grady furiously.

“This little R-tard is trying to hang with my girl!” said Grady. The pretty girls and THE GIRL had pathetic looser looks on their faces. Grady picked Samson up and Samson could do nothing but feel how tight Grady’s grip is. Grady slammed Samson down hard by throwing him by pushing his back down. Grady then kicked Samson in the stomach. Samson is almost on the verge of tears. Grady called Samson an A-tard before kicking him in the stomach again. Then Grady spat on Samson. Then Grady made his way over to the girls.

Samson stayed on the ground. There’s so many groups of teens that no authority adult figures saw it. Some teens witnessed it but just stared blankly as they walked by. Probably in awe, shock, and astonishment. Samson grabbed a rock and ran towards Grady. He threw it. Grady ducked and Samson missed. Samson, furiously on a rampage, continued to cycle. Samson did hit Grady in the back pretty hard. With a rock of course.

He chased him all the way screaming and throwing rocks. All the way to the entrance. Near where the wolves are being held and presented. One rock he threw hit a wolf in the eye and it roared angrily. Samson quickly blended with a big crowd. The wolf lady walked out to wonder who had done it. She couldn’t and wouldn’t find out who it was. When Samson met his dad, his father had asked him what was wrong.

Samson wouldn’t tell him. But he could tell Samson was bummed out about something. Probably had to do with people like his truffles in the past. His sister and his dad were going to ride the Ferris wheel. Troubled, Samson joined them. Unfortunately Grady knew the guy who was working the Ferris wheel or he probably did. Grady and the worker somehow managed to break the ride. Now Samson, Elane, and their father were in some trouble. To their shock they were stuck. Elane and Samson became uneasy.

Their dad told them to calm down. Not to panic. Help would be there soon. A helicopter came and it was to take everyone off to their rescue. His dad and sister made it onto the helicopter safely. Samson is nervous and difficult it will be to make the landing and climb down to safety. His worry got the best of him. As he made the jump he struggled and the rope latter he was on shook.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

609-610: "Luffy Dies from Exposure?! The Spine Chilling Snow Woman Monet" and "Fists Collide! a Battle of the Two Vice Admirals!"

Surrounded by trash, unsure of location or direction. Too real, Luffy. Too real.

I feel like a broken record at the moment but Punk Hazard really is delivering.

Across 609 and 610, we had Law vs Vergo with a surprise interruption by Smoker. Caesar was the subject of unexpected character development. Even Luffy vs Monet had a twist, with Luffy falling into a trash compactor and meeting a tiny talking dragon.

I bet that’s Foxfire’s son. The little dragon had a kid’s voice.

I’m just glad the big dragon the Strawhats roasted wasn’t Momonosuke (@mrkashkiet, I am looking at you sternly. xD)

Law Just Cannot Quit Smoking

And does not want to.

The action picked up with Vergo hoofing it to the SAD Room. Speed lines ahoy!

Inside, Law slowly drew his sword in front of a vast tank of SAD Gas. Not sure what he was planning to do, but let’s not dwell on it, in case his plan was literally explosive.

Vergo appeared at the door. “I feel like my hand has been bitten by my own dog. This is too much even for a mischievous child. You were always too smart for your own good. People like you tend to die young.”

You know, I’m not keen on stoic villain types but I’ve got to admit that Vergo has some killer lines.

“It would be easiest to crush your heart but I won’t do that. I’ll torment you slowly as I please and warp your smart ass face with fear.”

Like I said, good lines.

He wailed on Law with grim purpose to the point I found myself shouting, “Come on, Law! ROOM YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!”  Law was not having a fun time. (Dare I say, he was SAD?)

But his instinct for shit-talking was irrepressible. “Are you guys frustrated because your scheme is coming crashing down? Is this thing that important to you?”

Well, yeah... If Caesar is *the only person* who can make whatever it is that Doflamingo wants, then SAD must be profitable. Profits before pals seems to be Doflamingo’s modus operandi, but I don’t get the feeling Law is all that surprised Vergo is trying to kill him.

Law did fight back. There was an attempt.  He tried to Room his heart back. But Vergo is fast and snatched Law’s heart from the air.

The worst thing, though? Vergo punched Law so hard he lost his hat. That is not cool. It must have riled Law enough for him to try his (awesome) Counter Shock attack. It was big, flashy and high voltage, but it only left Vergo lightly toasted.

Vergo must have decided to kill Law then because he said, “I have a message from Joker. He said, ‘What a shame.’”

Law was weirdly zen about the whole situation. “Oh, well. It didn’t work. I was pretty sure I could take my heart back from Caesar, but I didn’t expect you here, Vergo.”

The lack of -san honorific was the last straw for Vergo. He squeezed Law’s heart like a stress ball. Toei’s red filter descended. Soul-shredding pain was experienced. Law screamed a lot. As you would if your heart was being squeezed by a maniac.

Then, a shaft of light descended from the vaulted heavens.

Except not really because it was Smoker.

It’s almost the same thing.

Vergo was typically cool about the interruption. “I’m in the middle of something. Does it have to be now, Vice-Admiral Smoker?”

And I did a backflip. Yes. Excellent interruption. Great timing, Smoker! Now stop being so fixated on the Big Tanks That Go “Blort” and execute your glorious revenge!

Really, now I think about it, Vergo is almost as bad as Caesar. When Smoker called Vergo out on his deceit and told him not to tell the G5 Men as he was a father figure to them, Vergo said, “Don’t tell me you actually care about those guys? I’m a base commander. I can do whatever I want to my no-good subordinates.” Another one who treats other people as disposable pawns.

Unsurprisingly, Smoker and Vergo came to blows. Smoker seems to be having more luck than Law, but then Vergo does not have Smoker’s heart in a box. What I’d like to happen is Smoker retrieving Law’s heart and they tag-team Vergo into oblivion.

That sounded wrong. But you get what I mean.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Rubbery Hope

How did Luffy end up in the Death Star’s trash compactor? 

His battle with a bird woman from Hoth went south. Literally.

And I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I kind of wish Luffy’s fight with Monet was a little bit longer. Her powers are great. Her self-awareness and cunning are too.

She maintained those ten layer kamakura walls without breaking a sweat. When Luffy smashed one layer, she wrapped another around her frozen prison without missing a beat. Luffy knew she was stalling for time and said he’d just break every layer quicker than she could replace them.

“I bet,” she said. Then swept up behind Luffy and, in an oddly flirty manner, whispered in his ear, “I don’t think I’ll win if I fight you, but the strongest isn’t always the winner in a fight.”

Then she grabbed him and wrapped him, literally, in winter’s embrace. 

That hypothermia power was quite cool (no pun intended). Paired with those desolate, snowy vistas and her eerily calm voice urging Luffy to let go, to sleep, relax and let it be, Monet’s Devil Fruit seems pretty strong to me.

But just as Luffy was about to pass out, Zoro’s voice - the very warning he yelled at Luffy a couple of episodes ago - cut through the darkness. “THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD!”

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the blue filtered haki moments. When he sprang up and let loose that Jet Spear attack, I cheered.

Then he fell through the floor into a garbage chute and I laughed.

It was cool, though. He’s rubber. He’d bounce. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before he was raking through broken gadgets for food. At which point a tiny dragon spoke to him and that is where the story ended.

I am now 75% sure that tiny dragon is Momonosuke. It had a kid’s voice. Probably should be a higher percentage than that but I like to hedge my bets, haha.

Chopper Looks Like Every Harried Substitute Teacher Ever

While Luffy was readjusting to life in a trash compactor with a small talking dragon, Monet flapped away to tick off another box on the never ending to do list: securing the Addicted Experiment Kiddies.

Said kiddies were knocking lumps out of Chopper with their ferocious addict strength. He could not restrain them without hurting them. He tried to convince them not to eat the candy. “I know it’s hard but you have to endure it!”

The thing is, Chopper was dealing with a double helping of trouble here. Not only are they kids, who are naturally more self-centred due to their developing brains. They are also addicts who are so far down the rabbit hole of whatever drug Caesar was peddling they’ll do anything for a fix.

When Chopper’s rumble ball wore off, the kids trampled him and thundered straight for the Biscuit Room, where Mocha was waiting alone.

Luckily, he was picked up by Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Robin, Brook and Foxfire. (Do not remember Brownbeard hanging around. Did he leave or did he just not have any lines?) 

Robin tried to restrain the kids. That was interesting for two reasons: one, I didn’t know Robin could feel damage sustained by her extra hands, and two, she asked Usopp and Brook to try and find a pair of Sea Prism Stone cuffs because Luffy had asked her to. (I bet his plan is to cuff Caesar!)

The kids charged Mocha, who tried to tell them the candy was evil! Then Monet whirled into the room on a frosty zephyr. (The best part of this entrance was when Usopp shouted: “I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A BIRD WOMAN!” He was finally vindicated.) 

Yay, thought Mocha. It’s Monet-san. She’s lovely!

Nooooope. Monet told her, in a sweet, ever-so-reasonable voice that it wasn’t nice to keep all the candy for herself. Mocha should share it with the others, like always. Mocha’s little face when she sensed betrayal was just heart-wrenching. “Why?” she whispered.

Because Monet is a nasty piece of work just like Caesar? Just a thought.

Not sure what’s going to happen here. There are a *lot* of Strawhats in the room, so I’m guessing Monet will be defeated by them. Then they’ll push through, deliver the cuffs and - BAM - we have one angry, kidnapped scientist. 

Sanji Acquires Unexpected Fans

This was a short scene but the fact that Sanji has a cadre of devoted fans in the G5 is hilarious. Yeah, he claims he doesn’t want their approval. And he probably doesn’t.

But Sanji cannot stop himself running back to save the poor saps who can be saved.

This is the Sanji I like: surly on the outside with a golden heart on the inside. More, please!

And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to . . .

CAESAR CLOWN!

Seriously.

The yarns this guy can spin could crush the GDP of a small textile-dependent country.

Caesar should run for office somewhere. Then he could appoint himself head of the science department.

For that is exactly what has been bugging him for years, it seems. He wants Vegapunk’s job.

Well... maybe not the job. (He’s getting by just fine thanks to pirates. A Government job would ruin that). It’s the fame and kudos. That’s what he’s after.

Plus he has a weird goal: to achieve world peace by obliterating all sources of conflict - collateral damage be damned. Unless he’s lying about that. Given his oscar-winning performance, that would not surprise me.

The action picked up with Caesar caesaring through a pipe and landing outside the Secret Room (I laughed when I realised everyone on Punk Hazard literally calls it the Secret Room).

He was bitching about having to enter the room because it was Vegapunk’s old office. Still, he claimed it was the only place where he could “pull it off”. (I am unsure why he had to go to Vegapunk’s old office just to close some doors, but I’ll chalk it up to plot and say no more.)

He promised to make Luffy, the Strawhats, G5 and Trafalgar Law pay for ruining his plan. It was all their fault! The experiment could have been a great show - everything perfect and beautiful and befitting of the world’s greatest scientist (Vegapunk says hi!) But they screwed it up. He couldn’t let the Strawhats do as they liked. They’d pushed it a little too far and he has Joker on his back now.

He ordered a minion to close the gates to Buildings C and D. This would lure all survivors into one narrow room. His plan? Trap them in the bottleneck and pump the room full of his poison gas through the air vents. He would broadcast it as a snuff movie for the brokers. That would show them what he was really made of!

But the minions hang on his every word and they caught one small discrepancy.

“Um... did you say that *you* had created the poison gas, Master?”

Caesar’s haughty reply was, “Yes, I did.”

“But it’s like Vegapunk’s gas. It freaks us out.” Understandably, the minions probably have ptsd from four years ago.

The moment when Caesar realised he’d let his ego run away with him and opened his big mouth was glorious. How could he spin this? How? The animators did a great job here. You could see the evil, conniving cogs turning in his mind. 

Then he broke out his Oscar winning performance. 

“This is . . . an avenging battle of science. My people! That day, I tried to stop the mad scientist, Vegapunk. No! If such a weapon exploded, what would happen to the people on the island?” Caesar even threw in a melodramatic “YAMEROOOOO, VEGAPUNK!” for some extra emotional sparkle.

“But the accident happened. And he still lords if over us as the head of the science department of the Marines. and he’s considered the world’s greatest scientist. I cannot tolerate it! He’s the cruel man who hurt you all! Do you think it’s right that people still call him the number one scientist? That’s why I want to prove them all wrong. I didn’t want to make a weapon of mass destruction! But I want to show them that there is a greater scientist here. That I am the greatest scientist in the world! When the Marines acknowledge it and when I become head of the science department, my dream will come true. I can use my scientific knowledge to bring peace to the world!”

I honestly had to stop myself giving Caesar a standing ovation. What a performance that was.

You know, it’s weird. Every lie Caesar told there has a basis in truth. That’s the most dangerous liar right there because the lies they tell are more believable. Does the Gas-Gas Fruit confer gaslighting powers too? Because Caesar is a hellishly efficient manipulator.

And while Caesar was congratulating himself, a flashback happened!

Caesar is Prime Material for /r/IAmVerySmart

Caesar with a bob was weird. I’m guessing when he moved to Punk Hazard, there was a lack of stylists, so he just grew his hair out. That hair you see right now? That is four years of growth.

At any rate, Caesar was doing something a bit more important back in Vegapunk’s lab. He was debating morality with some other scientists. They begged him to stop his experiment. If it exploded, it would kill everyone on the island. 

Caesar was typically receptive to criticism. “STFU, boneheads! Where do you think you are? This is a Marine research facility. They want to kill as many pirates as the can. What they need is a weapon that will do it for them.”

“But they don’t want one that will also kill civilians!”

Caesar’s rebuttal? “It’s called collateral damage! If we blow away everything, we can bring peace to the world.” (Does he genuinely believe that? That’s a properly depressing view of the world he holds there, if true.)

“You’re so...”

Caesar had a, “I’m gonna stop you right there” moment. They wanted to say he was cruel? What a joke. They were using prisoners as guinea pigs as if they were trash. What was the difference? (Fair point, Caesar.) Moreover, Admiral Sengoku was too soft, but Akainu, if he was in charge, *he* would want a weapon Caesar made. (Also interesting. I hope Caesar never decides to change sides again. He would be dangerous in Akainu’s hands.)

He went off on one about how Vegapunk had failed to turn people into giants again. Caesar knows you can’t turn people into giants in a short period of time unless you use magic, so had suggested Vegapunk just kidnap some kids and feed them drugs until something worked. What a lovely idea, Caesar! xD

The flash forward revealed Caesar’s “William Birkin Moment”.

Just as he made a significant discovery, Marines burst in and cuffed him with sea prism stone. Vegapunk himself came to see off his old colleague. I was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HYPED for about half a second. But there was no face. 

Blue balled. Again. xD

Caesar was summarily dismissed from the Science Department. “Your eccentric behaviour is intolerable and I cannot protect you anymore, Caesar.”

Interesting that what the rest of the scientists did was viewed as fine and dandy, but Caesar taking it a step further was regarded as “eccentric”. First off, eccentric is a gross understatement. Secondly, what they’re doing is pretty evil too. Caesar is just overtly, unashamedly amoral. They hide it better.

Suffering such a humiliation, Caesar had his “SCREW YOU!” moment and pushed the big red button. Punk Hazard went up in a Mighty Kaboom-Boom Cloud. 

Still wondering how they all survived that, but I will chalk it up to plot and say no more.

Of course, after Caesar’s theatrics, his minions fell over themselves to apologise. Sorry, Master! You are the saviour, after all.

“Thank you... thank you all,” Caesar simpered, while inside he called them unintelligent fools. So easily manipulated. Dumb as bricks.

This guy needs taking down several pegs. Maybe an entire cloakroom rack.

Luffy, please oblige asap.

Caesar tells a rip-roaring, thigh-slapper of a yo momma joke. 

(No one laughed.)

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #monkey d. luffy #caesar clown #trafalgar law #vice admiral smoker #vergo #monet #roronoa zoro #sanji #usopp #nami #tony tony chopper #nico robin #franky #brook #foxfire kinemon #mocha #punk hazard

[neverwatchedonepiece]

594-595: "Formed! Luffy and Law's Pirate Alliance!" and "Capture M! the Pirate Alliance's Operation Launches!"

After seeing what the Strawhats are really like and realising what he’s got himself into, Law has longing visions of the apocalypse.

That look on Law’s face.

You all know the one I’m talking about.

The one that started as a sweatdrop and morphed into a full-blown look of: I deeply regret this but am in way too deep to back out now.

I watched that scene three times. Pure gold.

If You Keep Telling Everyone About Our Plan, Maybe

So I think I misjudged Trafalgar Law.

Maybe.

Still not one-hundred percent certain Law does not have another hidden agenda but... I am about seventy percent on board with the fact he has good intentions. At the moment. Like Robin said, pirate alliances are marked by betrayal, so this could change in future. (But I don’t want it to. I like Law as a good-ish guy.)

Like Nami, I was also was not expecting Luffy to accept so quickly. Maybe at the end of the arc, I thought. Have no idea why I even entertained that daft idea. This is Luffy we’re talking about. 

Law sold it as best he could without giving Oda’s entire plot away. “I’m not saying we can beat the Yonko right away. There is a chance, if we do it step by step. What do you say?”

Luffy’s daft but not an idiot. He asked Law to which Yonko he was referring. I’m guessing that was important because I honestly can’t see Luffy going against Shanks unless something really serious puts something between them. I was pretty damned interested in Law’s answer, so when Oda used that favourite trop of his: a sudden howling blizzard carried away Law’s voice, I laughed like a drain and cursed Oda and his teasing ways.

Fine. I get it. I won’t know at least until after this arc.

I also liked Luffy’s reasons for accepting Law’s offer of alliance. One, it sounded like fun. Two, he thought Tra-guy was a good guy. And three, even if he wasn’t, he had his Strawhats, who had spent the last two years training to become stronger (with the implication they could kick Law’s ass if the misbehaved).

This totally won over the Strawhats. They sort of melted into a puddle of giggling, flattered, enraged goo. Law was standing there staring like, “Wtf are these people?”

Still, as a gesture of goodwill, he unshambled all those who were able to be restored to their bodies. I am guessing is because of plot. Chopper and Franky are back to normal (Chopper had to leave with Law for a reconnaissance mission to Caesar’s lab). However, Nami and Sanji are now inhabiting each others’ bodies (because Sanji was not nearby to be restored to his own. I’m guessing you’ve got to be in Law’s Room).

Law was also not keen on the experiment kids. They were a pain. A liability. Forget about them. He’d heard from Caesar they’d been drugged. Chopper and Nami protested. They knew about the drug. They had already decided to take the kids back to their families. Law revealed the World Government have been trying to turn people into giants for hundreds of years. Why? In order to manufacture soldiers to increase their military might.

Apparently, Caesar wants to perfect the process first and outsmart Vegapunk and the World Government. (Okay, so Caesar is not still working for the WG after all. Is he that wealthy he can fund himself or is another faction bankrolling him? Maybe the Yonko Law is talking about defeating?)

Law was still unconvinced helping the kids was a good idea. “Are you willing to stay here alone?” he asked Nami.

Luffy, the Best Captain, jumped in. He would not leave anyone behind. If Nami and Chopper wanted to help the kids, he was fine with that. Sanji felt responsible for the Samurai Guy too. So Luffy would stay with them.

Usopp was so funny here. He leaned over Luffy’s shoulder and gave Law some Strawhat Context. “You think an alliance is a cooperative relationship just for some common goal, don’t you?” 

Um... yes, Law answered.

Ha. Well Luffy’s idea was different. It’s like being friends to him. And if Law was thinking of taking control, it would not be that easy. Once Luffy feels sure about something He Will Not Back Down. His selfishness, Usopp said, was as formidable as a Yonko. (”That must he hard,” Luffy said. xD)

At that point, I think Law reached his Strawhat Saturation Point. These people were like freaking aliens to him. But whatever. He’d agreed to an alliance. So he laid out his plan of action. While the rest of the Strawhats took care of the samurai, he would go research the drug behind Caesar’s back. He needed the Strawhats’ doctor. Chopper was strapped to his hat. xD

Then, when that was clearly undignified, his back.

Before Law left, he issued a warning. Caesar wanted the Strawhats and the G-5 Unit dead. Until Caesar gets what he wants, he will not stop attacking. If any info leaked about him being on Punk Hazard, Caesar would lose his perfect hiding place. This is high stakes stuff for Caesar. He will fight tooth-and-nail to win. Not only that, he is a Logia type Gas Gas Fruit user who owns weapons of mass destruction with a 300 million bounty. Law cautioned anyone who couldn’t use haki to stay away from him.

Useful intel to have, to be honest. Thanks, Law.

And it was thanks to the conversation that I now know Zoro and Sanji can also use Haki. Did I miss that or is that completely new thing?

After that, came the part of the episode that was my Absolute Favourite. I definitely did not see this coming. Before Law left with Chopper, Luffy said, “So we’re gonna kidnap the Master, right?”

“Not for any money,” Law said. “To raise havoc.”

Despite the Strawhats asking, he would not tell them what lay ahead before they even successfully kidnapped Caesar. Focus on the job at hand. He would spill all later. Then said, rather ominously, “When we get Caesar Clown, things will move whether you like it or not.”

Ooooooooooooooh....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Now this is a juicy nugget of plot. I also do not think this has ever happened in One Piece: defeating the arc villain in order to kidnap him, use him as a catalyst and trigger some nefarious skullduggery in the New World with a view to taken down a Yonko.

Caesar Clown must be really something. I guess if he is an inventor and purveyor of weapons of mass destruction, his services will be in demand within certain sections of the OPverse. 

This is cool. I was a bit miffed when I realised this arc would end quickly as it has been great so far. You guys were right. This is an intro arc that seems to lead on to bigger things involving Trafalgar Law’s crazy idea.

Also, I cannot wait for Chopper to lay eyes on Caesar Clown for the first time. Chopper is gonna have to exercise some wicked self-control to not smack him for mistreating those kids. Chopper also asked Law an interesting question: if Law was so strong and could reach Caesar Clown that easily (because Law had just Roomed himself round to the lab’s back door), why could he capture Caesar himself?

Law deflected, as he always does. “I cannot because of a problem I have. That’s why I need help from you guys.”

A problem? Must be a pretty big problem. 

And by the way, where are your crew, Law?

I am making myself suspicious again.

I need to just believe in Law, like Luffy does. Because the arc villain is making a move.

And That Move Is Called Smiley

Smiley.

Cannot get over that. xD

Caesar, you crack me up. 

He’s probably one of those deranged scientist types who give their hellbeast creations adorable names. Everyone flees from the tentacled abomination that is Mr Binky Sparkle-Pants. Everyone knows Candy Smoochy Schmoo will devour your soul.

This one is called Smiley. Smiley is a sentient, hill-sized conglomeration of incredibly toxic waste left over from the chemical explosion four years ago. Caesar gleefully explain to Monet that when he escaped custody and returned to Punk Hazard about three years back, he did not purify the island of the poison gas (*the* only good deed he had left to his name!) I mean, why would anyone do such a wasteful thing? All that poison lying around? That H2S gas he had invented that killed everything on the island in second? It’s Free Real Estate, right?

What he did was (probably) use his Gas Gas Fruit (thanks for the confirmation, Law!) to gather all the leftover poison gas and compress it into a monster, which he secured in a vault on the burning half of the island.

And he called it Smiley. xD

I guess Caesar has a sense of humour?

At any rate, this squamous behemoth was unleashed by the gang of unfortunate fodders who were trying to break into a vault at the end of the last episode. I knew they’d meet a sticky end. I just didn’t know how sticky. 

They tried to call their wonderful Master to report they were being killed by a poisonous monster. 

Sympathy? In MY Laboratory? Get the FUCK OUTTA HERE!

But Caesar was in the lab, heard the DDM, was all like, “ugggggh, so needy!” He told his main minion not to pick up the call. Why? The fodders would just be screaming “Help, a monster is killing us! Save us!” How annoying, right?

And you know what else was annoying? The amount of visitors. Ugh. So many. Caesar seems to work in euphemism a lot because all he said was, “You can stop gathering test subjects now. We have enough.”

I’m guessing that’s code for “these freeloading Strawhats and Marines have overstayed their welcome. Time to die!” He had a jolly good lol to himself while Monet studied quietly in a corner (she must have learned to block out the cackling by now or she would get zero work done).

Caesar’s knowledge of how to manipulate human nature was summed up when he said, “People tend to forget tragedies in no time!” That is harsh but true. He knew sooner or later what happened in Punk Hazard would be forgotten by the majority, leaving him free to practice his wicked experiments with impunity.

He really is a piece of work, eh?

As of now, Smiley is currently oozing towards Caesar’s lab. Zoro, Sanji and Brook saw it approach on the horizon. 

They found Kinemon, by the way! His torso fell into the lake and sank like a rock because he’s a Devil Fruit user. Because of that, the rest of his parts became super weak and he almost froze to death. If Zoro hadn’t found him, he’d be dead. At least he’s finally grateful for the Strawhats’ help. I wonder what he’ll say when he finds out they’re working with Law, the guy who slashed him up? I wonder what Zoro, Sanji and Brook will say when they find out Luffy’s working with Law?”

It won’t be a secret for long, they way Luffy’s going on. xD

NO, WE DON’T HAVE A SECRET PLAN AT ALL. WHY DO YOU ASK?

While Law was sneaking round the back door with Chopper and Smoker and his crew were battling to seize Caesar’s ship, Luffy had a Big Idea. Back at the camp, he whispered to Robin and Franky, the Strawhats who would go with him. (I’m assuming Nami and Usopp are guarding the kids and waiting for Zoro, Sanji Brook and Samurai to return.)

Smoker was having a tough time. Fighting in someone else’s body was difficult. Poor Tashigi kept turning to smoke at random and couldn’t turn back. (You know what? If this wasn’t such a serious situation, it’d be well fun to have a go in a Devil Fruit User’s body!)

Then Luffy arrived with a literal BANG! He cannoned into the snow right at the front door of Caesar’s Lab and roared, “SHOW YOURSELF, MASTER! WE WILL KICK YOUR ASS AND KIDNAP YOU!”

I swear the impact from Law’s facepalm was heard as far as Raftel.

Trip Advisor Review: Punk Hazard

“Arrived on island. Was welcomed warmly by hotel proprietor. Accommodation was clinically austere but the bar was well-stocked. Woke up one morning and I was a centaur. Not pleased. Proprietor maintains he has no recollection of how this happened. Only other guest remains tight-lipped. Refused refund. One star. Would not recommend.”

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #trafalgar law #caesar clown #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #sanji #usopp #nami #tony tony chopper #nico robin #franky #brook #punk hazard #vice admiral smoker #captain tashigi