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shadowzmod · 2 years

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The Edge of Oblivion

I'm fairly sure this is actually canon, so enjoy Shadow almost loosing it.

The ARK's Eclipse Cannon was firing straight at Rift-form Super Sonic—not even Chaos Energy now, it was some kind of Illusionary power fueled by both the Phantom Ruby and the Master Emerald, channeling through Shadow's Hyper Form. He'd held on to a brief hope that it might actually do something.

And then, in that flash of a heartbeat, he saw Rift's smile, sickeningly smug, and some part of him knew that it was pointless.

He couldn't win.

He blinked, and suddenly everything was dark. The stars were gone, the ARK had vanished, Rift's form disappearing as everything around him dissolved into a deep black nothingness.

An echo of laughter shivered through Shadow's mind, and he whirled around, “Who's there?” But there was nothing. Just more darkness...

Shaaaadoooow.

He spun around again, and found himself practically nose-to-nose with a smirking vision of Rift. Shadow balled his fists, feeling a growl rising in his chest; he knew this wasn't real, there was no way, so he could spit out the first thing that came into his head, “I would like to throw you out a window.”

“NOOOOO YOU DON'T.” Rift drawled, and Shadow had to bite his tongue to avoid swinging a fist at the illusion.

“Yes. I do.”

“DO YOU REALLY.”

“Yes. That face you just made. It deserves defenestration.”

“WHAAAAAT. NAAAAAH.” Shadow snarled, and Rift grinned, that exact same expression that Shadow had seen on his face in the real world just a moment ago, “I AM JUST SMILING.”

“He is thinking mischievous thoughts...” Another new voice whispered in his head, and Shadow looked to see...one of the Vocaloids? Gumi...that was her name.

“Seems suspect.” Another voice, which sounded like it had been put through an auto-tuner, and Shadow stared to see what appeared to be a miniature green dinosaur, floating and see through and what the hell was his brain even doing to him?

“NOT AT ALLLLLLL,” Rift drifted back; well at least all his delusions could hear each other. That was...something.

And then there was the sound of slightly off-key singing, and Shadow whirled to see...two children, skipping up through the blackness. He knew them. Hansel and Gretel: exactly the way they had been drawn in Maria's storybook when she'd read it to him. He'd always disliked that story, burying his face in Maria's side when they got to the part about the scary witch...and he'd hated the artwork, the children with their smiles slightly too wide for their faces...

“I don't know, guys, he looks friendly,” the boy, Hansel, sing-songed.

“Really? REALLY?” Shadow couldn't help exclaiming. He had no idea what was happening but that seemed like a pretty reasonable reaction to all of it.

Rift turned to the two children, grinning wolfishly, “GIVE ME ALL YOUR ARTIFACTS AND GEMS. I WILL KEEP THEM SAFE.”

“No.” Shadow protested, “that is the worst idea,” but everyone ignored him. Even in his own head people didn't care about him trying to be the sensible one.

The children tilted their heads, perfectly together, and Shadow shuddered as they recited in unison, “We are only 14. We don't have any. But we'd give them to you if we did.”

Rift didn't seem deterred, just reached out to ruffle the boy's hair, “THAT IS OKAY. GO ALONG AND EAT SOME CANDIES.”

Shadow's eyes widened at the implication, and he could feel another snarl building in his chest as the children said, “Thank you.”

Behind him, he heard someone murmur, “Unexpected wholesome Fleetway moment...” and he had to hiss, “No. No it's not. I understand the reference.”

Rift looked back at him, batting his nonexistent eyelashes, “NOOOO. I'M NICE.”

Shadow snorted, folding his arms, “That might be quite literally the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life and that's SAYING something.”

Before he could blink, Rift was back up in his face, but Shadow didn't even flinch, just stared into the whirling purple eyes, “I AM SO FUCKING NICE AND NOT EVIL AT ALL.”

Shadow scoffed, “Sure.”

The little girl spoke up now, her voice slightly petulant, “Yeah Shadow is so mean.”

“Hey,” he glanced over Rift's shoulder for a moment to glare at his own mental delusion, but didn't have long to do so because Rift laughed as he drifted back to float next to the twins.

“I KNOW RIGHT? DUDE'S GOT A STICK UP HIS ASS.”

“Rude.”

“That's a bad word,” the children recited in unison, and Rift gave them a disbelieving look.

“I FEEL LIKE ASS IS LESS BAD THAN FUCK AND YOU DIDN'T MIND THE LATTER.”

Shadow put his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, “Can you all just get out of my head?”

Apparently the answer was no, because Gumi's voice sounded just as clear as if he hadn't covered his ears at all, “Kids, stop talking to Rift or you're grounded.”

“WOW. LAME.” Shadow cracked open his eyes to see the Vocaloid confronting Rift and the two kids, hands on her hips.

“That is good advice...” he muttered, before closing his eyes again and trying to focus on ridding himself of all of these nightmare fever dreams.

“Laaaame,” the kids whined.

“REALLY GONNA LISTEN TO AN AUTHORITY FIGURE, HUH?”

“I do not need more people destroying the world,” Shadow muttered, half to himself, but even though it was quiet Rift heard, and taunted.

“PLEASE HELP ME DESTROY THE WORLD. I PROMISE I WON'T KILL YOU AFTERWARDS.”

“Do not believe him.” Shadow countered, not even talking to anyone but himself now.

“WHO ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN TO? AUTHORITY FIGURE AND HOT TOPIC. OR ME?”

Shadow had a moment of clarity at the nicknames, and opened his eyes, looking at Rift for a moment. The golden hedgehog's head quills were standing straight out around his head, and Shadow muttered, “Death Star?”

Rift whirled towards him, face crinkling into a frown, “NO. THAT LOOKS LIKE A MOON.”

“It does...” Shadow said slowly, “But I think it fits you.”

“I'M NOT A MOON THOUGH.”

“I don't care. I'm calling you Death Star now.”

Rift seemed to considered this for a moment before he shrugged, “OKAY. AT LEAST IT SOUNDS COOL.”

Shadow exhaled deeply, looking away again, “It makes me feel better about all of this.”

“OKAY SHADS.”

Shadow shot a sharp glare back at Rift, who, of course, just grinned, “WANNA HEAR SOMETHING REALLY COOL.”

His expression as he asked it made Shadow very nervous, as he hesitantly answered, “...I feel like I should say no.”

There was a glittering spark in Rift's eyes, and when he spoke again, it wasn't in the screaming yell that he had used since his transformation, “Maybe you shouldn't. Saying no to things that are unknown may just make things pass you by, and you would never hear or see any of them again.” His voice was softer, with just a hint of laughter bubbling under the surface, almost sounding like...

Sonic.

And there he was. The same Sonic that Shadow had gone to Chili's with, way back before all of this started, standing right in front of Rift with his arms crossed, one brow raised in an expression that was heart-stoppingly familiar, “Y'know?”

“...are you actually...” Shadow balked, taking a step back, actually thrown off for the first time in all of this, despite the weirdness, “N-no. Don't do this again.”

“Again?” Sonic and Rift tilted their heads in sync, and Sonic brushed a finger along his nose in a gesture that made Shadow's heart hurt, “I don't know about a last time. Unless you did that to yourself.”

Shadow didn't have it in him to point out that since this was inside his own head, he was doing it to himself again. Gumi appeared beside him, her voice worried, “Oh crap, he's messing with us.”

Rift grinned behind Sonic's back as the blue hedgehog laughed, “This time it's just me mocking you. Making you see what you'll never get back.” He smiled, and it wasn't Sonic's smile, it was Rift's.

“PRETTY COOL HUH.”

Shadow curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his chest as he looked down, away from the two hedgehogs in front of him, “No. It's not.”

“IT'S TOTALLY COOL.” Rift's laughter pierced straight through his head, and Shadow tried not to wince, flattening his ears and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't need this. Not right now. The weirdness he could deal with. This...this was something else.

“...no...”

“Shadow, don't let him get to you...” Gumi's voice was right next to him, but he didn't react as he heard Sonic's voice ask.

“Why not? Should he just remain shut off forever? Maybe it would be best...”

“It worked til now,” Shadow hissed out through gritted teeth, “It is for the best.”

“Uh huh.” Sonic agreed, and Shadow could imagine the expression he was wearing without looking up, “Until you opened up accidentally. Letting your guard down.”

Gumi retaliated on his behalf, her voice shrill, “I MEAN DON'T LET YOU GET INTO HIS HEAD AND MESS WITH HIM, FAKER.” As if they weren't already in his head. Messing with him.

“Tch. So silly.” Sonic said, dismissively, and Rift agreed, “SILLY LITTLE GOOBER.”

“...rude...” Shadow managed to mumble out, still not looking at them. Any of them.

“Shadow...don't let it get to you, please...” And it was Gumi's voice, but it was also Maria's, but it didn't matter because their voices were so much quieter than Rift's screams, or Sonic's taunts...

“Oh that reminds us...” Shadow had forgotten about the creepy children, still standing there and watching him fall apart at the seams, “How did it go last time, Shadow?”

“Didn't you get your heart broken?”

“Didn't you get strung along?”

Shadow took a deep breath, knowing what they were referring to, “...no...” It wasn't entirely a lie. Evil Sonic had never actually made any intentions clear, and Shadow had never felt more than a stupid crush and so his heart was not broken from that. Cracked, maybe. But that was it.

Maybe.

Rift laughed, and Shadow finally looked up again, trying to ignore the fact that his vision was slightly blurry with unshed tears. The scientists who had made him had always been confused by the fact that he could cry. He wasn't supposed to.

“WHAT IS THE POINT ANYMORE EVEN? HAH!”

“What...what do you mean?”

“I MEAN THERE'S SO MUCH DESTROYED ALREADY.”

“I...I have to.”

Rift shrugged, “YOUR FUNERAL.”

“...I know.” He did. He knew what that smile had meant, that started this whole thing. He knew he couldn't win, even with the Ruby and the Emerald fueling him. He'd burned through too much chaos energy too fast.

“...AND YET YOU STILL CONTINUE...” Rift pointed out, his head tilted again in confusion.

“Yes.” Shadow pulled himself up slightly, trying to ignore the fact that it felt like there was a black pit eating him alive from the inside.

“ALMOST ADMIRABLE.”

Shadow would take what he could get, “Thank you, I suppose.”

But that was all he was going to get, because suddenly Hansel and Gretal's voices were twining around his head, pouring through his mind, “Aren't you tiiiiired though?”

“Don'tcha wanna take a break?”

“C'mon Shaaaadow.”

“I can't.” He did his best to push back against their whispers, his efforts weak.

“But then you could see them again.” That was Sonic again. He'd stepped forward, away from Rift, and Shadow could almost have believed that it was actually him, except for the weird purple-red glow to his eyes.

“I...I can't.”

“Isn't it tempting though?” Sonic circled him, as the children's voices continued.

“Iiiisn't it?”

“What's stopping you?”

“Some promise?”

“To someone who's already dead?”

Gumi's voice tried to call over them, but it was so quiet compared to everything else, “Shadow...don't listen to them!”

“You could be with Maria again,” Sonic's voice was right in his ear, and Shadow flinched away, curling up again, “Maybe Sonic will be there soon too. You did your best. That's what matters.”

Shadow grit his teeth, trying to fight back tears, “E-even if I died. I...wouldn't see her again.” Because he knew where Maria had ended up. And he knew where he would be going.

“How do you know?”

He'd forgotten about the ghostly green dinosaur until the auto-tuned voice said, “You don't.” And Sonic agreed, “Precisely.”

The whispers weren't stopping, and Shadow whimpered slightly, sinking into a crouch, “...I'm so tired...” He couldn't help it. It hurt. Everything hurt.

“You can take a break.” Sonic was there, next to him, nuzzling against his side, “Forever.”

“But...I'd be letting everyone down,” Shadow mumbled into his knees.

“There won't be anyone left to let down.”

“That doesn't make me feel better.”

“It's a part of life, Shadow. Better than drawing it out,” he felt the ghost of Sonic's fingertip trace across his shoulder.

“The destruction of the planet?” Shadow snorted, “I doubt it.”

“Literally yeah,” and that sounded so much like something Sonic would say that he winced, burying his face deeper into his arms.

“Why save them Shads?” Gretel whispered.

“They'll die anyway,” Hansel hissed.

“They'll die and you'll keep living.”

“All alone.”

“Don't you want to go alongside them?”

He shuddered, “...I don't...know...” He didn't. He was immortal. He couldn't die. Theoretically. But he didn't want to be alone. Not really. But it was just his lot in life. To be alone. Forever. Always. Eternity.

And Sonic spoke to those exact fears, “You'd outlive them anyway, wouldn't you?” Shadow cracked one eye, peering over at the blue hedgehog sitting next to him. He looked vaguely thoughtful, “That sounds like a sad existence.” As if they were talking about what ice cream to get, rather than whether Shadow should let himself die.

“Yes.” Shadow didn't close his eyes again, but looked down at his feet through the space between his arms and knees, “But I've come to terms with it.”

Have you really?

He didn't even know whose voice that was. Maybe his own.

But Sonic heard it too, “Have you come to terms with it? Or do you begrudgingly accept that you can't change it?”

Shadow picked his head up, looking blearily at Sonic, “How could I know that?”

The blue hedgehog shrugged, stretching his hands behind his head, “You know your own mind best, Shadow.”

He really wasn't sure of that. Since apparently his own mind was dead set on torturing him. And maybe he deserved it.

“You should stop running away from yourself.” The children whispered again.

“It's quite pathetic.”

You must be so tired, Shadow.

He was.

He really, really was. He could feel the chaos energy burning through his body, cannibalizing itself, eating through his very life force. How much longer could he keep this up?

“...I am...” he sighed, resting his head fully on his arms again, one tear trickling down his cheek. He kept his half-lidded eyes on Sonic this time, “So...very...tired...”

But no. He had to...he had...there was something...”But...I can't...” he tried to move his head, but it felt so nice to just rest here, in the dark, with Sonic, “I have to keep trying...I have to...”

Did he? What did he have to do? If he just succumbed to the voices, he could rest, finally; he could stop the fight that had continued for...he didn't even know how long, time didn't really have a meaning right now. He could just...stop...it would be so easy. His eyes fluttered, and he knew that if he closed them now, it would. It would just...be over.

“That's why i always b̵̾̅ë̶́͑l̴͎̎ḯ̵̋ḛ̸̍v̵̀̃e̷̊̚d̴͆̓ ̷̍̀i̴̎̕ǹ̴͋ ̴̛̑y̷͝͠ǒ̴̿ú̵̕ should give up.”

Shadow's ear flicked, and he blinked, slowly picking up his head, “...Sonic?”

“Sonic is gone.” Red-purple eyes stared back at him, and Shadow wondered if he was, literally, loosing his mind.

“I MADE SURE OF IT.” Rift finally spoke, for the first time in a long while, looming over them, but Shadow kept staring at the image of Sonic.

“Are you loosing it Shads?” The blue hedgehog tilted his head quizzically.

Shadow wasn't sure why he answered, “I...I don't even know anymore...”

Can you even trust yourself to know?

Probably not.

Sonic grinned, “Don't think you can k̷̽͛ė̵̛e̶̒̂p̶̋́ ̸̈͐g̷̛͝ö̵́̚i̵̇̋n̷̄̈́g̷̈́̕ anymore?”

Shadow furrowed his brow, trying to latch on to reasons, words “I...even if I can't...I still have to.”

Do you? The voice sounded more desperate now, Do you really have to do anything? Don't you just want it all to stop?

The children echoed, “You don't have to do anything!”

“You're your own person!”

“Why don't you do what you want to do?”

But Shadow kept his eyes firmly fixed on Sonic's. Because he'd seen the flash of green there, the quickest flicker, so fast that if he had been a normal hedgehog there was no way he could have noticed, “I WANT the world to be safe. I want the fight and the destruction and the pain to end.”

“Why, though? There will be nobody i̵͚̔'̴̇̊m̵̃̽ ̷͆͝c̴̽͝o̸̽̀u̸͂͐n̷͐̽ẗ̶͘i̷͑͛n̴̈́ͅg̴̈́̅ ̶̿͆o̸̹̅n̷̎́ ̸̌͂ŷ̵͛ö̸͖ù̶́,̶̿͒ ̵̔̚p̸̈́̀â̶͐l̶̓̇ left soon anyway.”

There's no reason to bother...

But Shadow's eyes were shining now, and he reached out to rest one hand on top of Sonic's, his voice very quiet, “...There will always be you. Even if everyone else is gone, I can still try to save you.”

His mind filled with static, and he could hear Rift crying in the background, “HEY UH WHAT'S...”

And Sonic's eyes were definitely green, and his smile was his own, “i̸̾́ ̴̿̀d̵̈́͋o̴̾͋n̵̂͝'̸̌͝t̶̋͂ ̶͗̆k̵̊͂n̶͑̀ơ̸͑w̴̎͂ ̸̬͌a̴̿̆b̴̑͠o̸͘͠u̶͐̿t̶͑͒ ̴̽̈́m̶͑̈́e̸͚͑ ̸̓̔b̴̨͝ǘ̸͝t̸͆̀.̸̈́͌.̴̄̕.̶̐̊ ̴́̐y̸͊̌o̶̍͛ū̵̓'̶͂́r̷̔̑e̷̯̿ ̴̇̏p̵̓̀r̷͋̽ó̴͒b̴̔̒a̷͐̊b̴́̇l̸̏̚ỹ̷͝ ̸̼̂g̴̒̈́o̴̪͌o̸͂̌d̴́͝ ̴̍enough to take my spot.”

“I never could.” Shadow smiled softly, “We'll just both have to keep fighting until we win. You have to come back to be the hero. To be my hero.”

And then Sonic was gone, and Rift was there, stumbling back, “HUH?”

Shadow slowly stood, facing him, and folded his arms, leveling a calm, steady look at the golden hedgehog, “I have to keep fighting.”

Rift shook his head, looking around at the other specters that were still taking up Shadow's mindscape, “I DIDN'T???? DID YOU GUYS JUST GET A REALLY BAD RINGING IN YOUR EARS???? HEY YO, WHAT DID I DO ASSHOLES.”

The other shades shrugged, even as they started fading, but Shadow replied, his voice soft, “I heard it.” Rift stared at him, as Shadow repeated, “I heard it. And I know what it means. I will find a way to beat you. I have to, for everyone. So I will. Now get THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD.”

And they were gone. Shadow was back in space, the Eclipse Cannon still barreling towards Rift's grinning form...but despite the smug look on his enemy's face, Shadow was full of determination to win this fight. No matter what.

#heritage blogs cinematic universe #shadow has a bad time #Rift is an asshole #but we knew that already

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