#really sab never should have happened the way it did

[flythesail]

Lockwood & Co. really does have the best book to screen adaption I've ever seen. And the changes that were made not only improved upon the source material, but most importantly - felt true to it.

#like sometimes you watch an adaption first and go oh this is so great let me read the books #and the books are nothing like it lol #but going from show to books #the show captured the books very well #and not to bring shadow and bone into this (well nvm because that's exactly what im doing) #ive been thinking about sab recently #and even the difference with the creators behind the show #like with l&co you can see the passion these people had for it #sab has the cast but some of the writers have said some stuff :/ #really sab never should have happened the way it did #netflix wanted it's two for one deal #and there's also a lot of discussion about when cancelation is likely.. do you write in a way that plans for that #or take the risk and let the story do its thing #sab is a show where they put in later stuff for the fans just in case #see: kanej #so like im grateful for it #but from the start it's almost like sab was restricted in a way it never would be able to meet its full potential #two conflicting series in eight episodes makes it hard #and i really enjoy sab when i watch it #but it's also true i havent even rewatched s2 all the way through #it doesnt have the same staying power as i wish it did #yet with all this being said netflix BETTER green light soc #it's cast and written and likely our only chance for it to happen #id love to see what theyre capable of when they can focus on one book #plus the cast MORE than deserves it #love them #flythepost

[turtlesnails]

I don’t want to lose you again

Alex gets a phone call from the hospital saying that his uncle was in a bad accident. Except, Ian Rider died four years ago...

T+, Alex Rider Fandom ( Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Alex Rider (TV 2020)), Alex & Yassen, Pre-slash Alex/Yassen

Written for @shehungthemoon prompt for @alexinchainsfest

~7k words, No warnings apply, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Sickfic,

Preview under the cut:

Alex was already running late to his university class when his cell phone started to ring.

He reached into his pocket intending to turn off the phone's ringer, assuming that the incoming call was from Jack, Sabina or Tom. They were the only people who kept in contact with him regularly. 

It was an unknown number, with a 115 area code, Nottingham if Alex remembered correctly. It was likely a spam call; someone trying to sell him something or waste his time. Ian always said to never answer them, plus if it was really that important whoever was calling could just leave a message. 

And- Alex stole a glance at the time, if he did not get out of here in the next minute he would miss his train. 

There was just something odd nagging at him. Alex pulled the slightly burnt piece of toast out of his mouth and pressed down on the answer button. 

“Hello, May I speak with Alex Rider?” The female voice on the other end of the line spoke. Whoever this unknown number was…well, they knew who he was.

“Who is asking?” 

“I’m Sarah, a nurse at the Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham. I am calling for Alex Rider?

“What?” Alex responded rather confused. Why would a nurse from a hospital miles away call him on this dreary weekday morning. Heck, why at all? It’s not like he had an appointment up there. “Uh… This is him.” 

Alex slid himself onto one of the high stools. He did not know anyone in Nottingham. Jack and Sab were both in America, Tom was or should be in his Uni classes. None of them were anywhere near Nottingham. His mind briefly flashed to Ben Daniels. It had been months, almost a year now, since he had spoken to Ben. Ben might have been from Birmingham or Manchester. But if it was Ben…. Alex would have expected Wolf or Crawley to pass the news on to him.  

“Well Alex.  I’m calling regarding your loved one, Ian Rider. And, I wanted to inform you that they have been admitted to our hospital.” 

“What the fuc-“ Alex started to respond before catching himself, “Sorry. I just am really not expecting this. You said my uncle, Ian Rider, is in the hospital?” 

“Yes. I know the news can come as a bit of a shock,” She continued, “He was involved in a serious accident when his motorbike collided with oncoming traffic. He listed your name and phone number to the medical personnel at the scene, before being med flown to Queen’s Medical center. He is currently in the Intensive Burn unit at the hospital. I am calling firstly to inform you of his condition but also because you are listed as Ian’s medical proxy, and legally are able to make decisions on his behalf for treatment.” 

Alex ran a hand through his hair. It was unbelievable. There is no way Ian is still alive? Or was there? It was a closed casket at the funeral. Ian or even Alan Blunt could have faked his death. Four years…

It was a long time. And, if Ian was alive why didn’t he try to make contact with Alex before that? Why would he just abandon him? Especially if he knew Blunt and Jones would take advantage?  Alex felt just a bit angry.

“Alright,” Alex repeated, turning his focus back to the phone call,  “What happened? And what do I have to do?” 

“Firstly, Ian has suffered from second and third degree burns on his right side. The third degree burns extend through the entire thickness of his skin, are more challenging to treat and may require skin grafts.  He also sustained a head injury. We’ve conducted relevant diagnostic tests which showed swelling. Our main concern here is increased pressure on his brain from his skull. But, we need consent in order to do surgery.” 

“My consent, right?” Alex asked 

“Correct. We also want to make sure that you know the procedure, the risks and the benefits, along with answering any questions you might have.” 

“That is the best thing to do, right? That’s what the doctors are recommending?” 

“The sooner we reduce the swelling and pressure on the skull the better.” 

“Alright, yeah do that. I’m definitely not going to make it to my class today…. You said Nottingham?”

“Yes, that is correct.” The nurse responded.

“Good. I’ll be on the next train up.”  With that Alex ended the phone call, and pondered what had just happened. He felt nauseous, like the room was spinning way too fast around him. 

On one hand, Ian could be dead. There was always a chance that there are two Ian Riders with the same birthdays in the UK- maybe the other Ian had a nephew named Alex. Alex was a common enough name. So was Rider.  On the other hand, Ian could be very much alive. Which brought Alex full of emotions. If he was alive why did he wait four years to contact Alex, why was he in Nottingham, and why didn’t anyone tell him? A thought dawned on Alex. Maybe they did not even know Ian was still alive.

(Continue reading on AO3)

#ao3 #fanfiction #alex rider #yassen gregorovich #ao3 fanfic #AlexinChains

[malinaa]

TOP 9 BOOKS

tagged : @hmsharmony ty jennifer this was SOOO hard oh my god like. genuinely agonized me for days to think about what to choose but it was SOOO fun tho <3 tagging : @rosesau | @evcndiaz | @pendrgcn | @gayarthur | @the-tenth-arcanum | @oretsev | @wherepoetsdie | @bellamyblakru | @ryekat & anyone else who wants to do it !!! rules : list your top 9 books obviously. i cheated a little and put series as as one option because that's just who i am as a person. most of these i chose at random from my 5 star reads from the past few years btw

1. percy jackson and the olympians (series) by rick riordan

i was never a big reader in elementary school—or at least not to the extent that my classmates had been. my sixth grade english class required us to bring a personal book from home for silent reading and i stole my brother's spine-cracked copies of pjo and brought them to class. i finished the whole series in less than a school week (i had to scramble to the library to pick up another series because the single novel should have lasted me at least three weeks). pjo literally kickstarted my love for reading as a hobby and i truly don't know how to state the importance it had on my little ten-year-old brain fr

2. on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong

i have never read a book more beautiful in prose and so uncommonly human than this. there's just something so incredibly heartbreaking knowing this whole book is the narrator's letter to his mother who can't read! like what the fuck

3. alone with you in the ether by olivie blake

this came as a surprise to Me when i first read it. i meandered through the first quarter, loving the writing style but feeling disconnected from the characters until the Church Hand Scene™ and it was hook, line, and sinker at that point (i have since come to love the disconnectedness in subsequent rereads, knowing that the feeling was the Point). i have read this book four (4) times since i read it first last year. LAST YEAR!!! olivie has like... fundamentally altered my brain chemistry or something because i feel like everything i have written since having read this book has been somewhat influenced by it.

4. much ado about nothing by william shakespeare

what can i say! this is theeeeeee romcom ever. i have watched so many adaptations of this play, read it countless of times and can recite some iconic lines, and still the banter between benedick and beatrice is sooo elite. cannot be topped!!

5. a place for us by fatima farheen mirza

fun fact: seed rec'd this book to me and has been reccing it to anybody who would listen. the prose is so lush and melancholic. it's one of those books where nothing Really happens, but you feel Every Emotion Under The Sun and you're just like. altered by reading it

6. the song of achilles by madeline miller

obviously.... OBVIOUSLYYYYYYY this had to go here. if i had two nickels for every greek myth retelling i read during school that fundamentally changed me etc etc u get it. i read this as a junior in high school when we, yet again, had to bring a personal book to read durin class. i think at that point of my life, i've never read something that tragic yet so beautiful at the same time and now i am always looking at the beautiful and tragic in media. so! there u go! brain cells rewired and whatnot!

7. the grisha trilogy by leigh bardugo

this is funny because i . technically did not rate any of these books 5 stars i'm sobbing. but like, considering the fact that my url is what it is and the way i always have them in the back of my mind, it's no wonder that i put them here. i have such an odd attachment to these books and these characters. i had copies of these books since their release but didn't touch them until ... before the sab tv release which is so fucking funny. like i don't know what i would be like if i read this as a t(w)een. i would've been so fucking insufferable ngl

8. when my brother was an aztec by natalie diaz

i actually read this for an assignment and had to write a report on it and i had SO much fun doing it. diaz plays a lot with hunger and her imagery is literally unmatched. i think about the way she contructs sentences and am filled with such envy. my beginning sentence for my paper was a nod to her style (though i failed miserably). it was: "in a paradoxical sleight of hand, hunger feeds in natalie diaz's debut." she is just. so fucking good at words i need to CHOMP on it

9. sharp objects by gillian flynn

you know the thing where you see a really popular author for a really long time and they have their work adapted to the screen and it's so good but you still haven't read their actual writing? yeah, that was me with gillian flynn (specifically about gone girl). i read gone girl, i read sharp objects, i read her short story the grownup, i'm currently reading the last novel of hers that i haven't read, dark places, and flynn is just so... incredibly good at constructing harrowing stories. it's no wonder why all three of her novels got adapted to the screen! her prose is so grounded. vivid. there's this ease to her writing that, whenever i concurrently read another novel, i always find the other piece to be lacking. i slink back to flynn's prose and immerse myself in her awful, human worlds.

#tag games #book recs #text #tais toi lys

[littlestingray2]

The Worstest Day!

Scout has a bad day and regresses. Engineer takes care of him.

🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧

Scout swore today was the worst day of his life! Today's battle was tougher than usual. The Blu team really pulled out their A game. In retaliation, the Red team did the same. Scout had gotten destroyed more times than he cares to admit. After the terrible loss Red had suffered at the hands of the Blu team, the only thing Scout wanted to do was curl up and sleep. Instead of giving into the urge to go into a coma for the rest of the evening; Scout showered, slipped into his pajamas, and combed his short brown hair. He never really cared about personal hygiene, but the last thing he wanted was a lecture from one of his teammates. Especially Engineer or even worse Spy. Spy was always whiny after a loss. Today would probably be no different, but Scout didn't want to find out personally. Scout scarfed down his meal. He swiftly left the dining hall / kitchen and headed to his bedroom.

Scout sat down on his bed thinking. He really wanted to see Engineer tonight. He wanted to lay in his nice warm bed and have Engineer read a book to him. He wanted Engineer to tuck him in and hold his bottle for him until he fell asleep. He wanted Engineer! He wanted his Papa!

Scout had a secret. A secret only Engineer and him know, something special! Scout was an age regressor. Engineer was his caregiver, his Papa. He wanted nothing more than to sink into his younger headspace, and let his Papa take care of him. He knew he couldn't ,though. His Papa was working very hard in his workshop. He really wanted his Papa.

Scout tried to stay big, he didn't want to regress without his Papa. The more he thought about his Papa the more little he got. Then, Scout started to cry. He wanted his Papa, now! He missed him all week and his papa is always in that stupid workshop! Scout became very sad and sat down on the floor.

Scout flapped his hands up and down and bounced his legs. He let out sad little sobs. Everything was too much! He wanted his Papa to make it stop, but his Papa was working. Scout sobbed because he knew he wasn't going to see his Papa tonight.

Then, a knock rattled against his door.

"Go way!" Scout shouted, trying to sound big.

Pyro, stuck his head in the door. Apparently they had heard him crying. They rushed to his side. They mumbled something that Scout couldn't understand. Scout looked up from his spot on the floor.

"Go get P- Engi…. Go get Engi." Scout choked out through tears.

Pyro nodded their head and ran off to find Engineer. Scout stayed on the floor trying to calm himself down. He was still crying when Pyro got back with Engineer a few minutes later. Engineer waved Pyro off before crouching down next to Scout.

"Hey, pardner. What's wrong?" Engineer questioned.

"Y- We… we" Scout struggled to talk through his gasps and sobs.

"Hey, hey. Let's jus' calm down 'for you make yerself sick." Engineer said.

Scout nodded his head and took shuttery breathes, trying to ebb his panic. Engineer gently shushed him before pulling Scout close. Engineer rocked them both back and forth gently, humming a relaxing tune. He used his gloved medal hand to trace shapes on Scout's back. After a few minutes, Scout had calmed down enough to breathe normally. He had stopped crying.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened, Bud?" Engineer asked softly.

Hearing his little nickname made Scout even smaller. Scout's eyes were sore and his face was red. His head felt all fuzzy in a very familiar way. Scout knew he should tell Engineer what happened.

"I wa sab 'cuz yoo wer workin' an I wa libble an we losed an m seepy an ODAY AS BEEM DA WORSES DAY EVR!!!" Scout explained, agitated.

"Oh, buddy. You shoulda' told me you were feelin' bad. You know I woulda' helped you!" Engineer said calmly.

Scout just nodded and cuddled farther into Engineer's chest. Scout's hands gripped Engineer's overalls tightly. Engineer ran his hand through Scout's hair before getting up. Scout whined in protest but Engineer shushed him and chuckled.

"I'm jus' gettin' yer stuff ready for bed. Get in yer bed an I'll tuck you in!" Engineer said with a smile.

Scout rubbed his eyes before climbing into his bed. He got underneath the covers and waited for his Papa to get out his stuff. His Papa pulled a little box out from under his dresser. Scout smiled excitedly. That was his little box, he loved his little box. Scout shimmied in excitement.

Engineer rummaged through the box and pulled out a few items. Scout waited patiently in his bed. Engineer walked back over to the bed holding a few things. Scout gently snuggled the small fuzzy blanket his papa gave him. He took the small stuffed lamb and snuggled it, too.

"Aww, yer so cute." Engineer said and he hooped Scout's nose.

Scout giggled and scrunched up his nose. Engineer then pulled out a blue pacifier. Scout made grabby hands at him, hoping his papa would give him the paci. Instead Engineer put it in his pocket.

"Not yet, buddy. It ain't clean. I'll go wash it off an' get you some juice, how 'bout that?" His papa asked.

Scout really didn't like the idea of his papa leaving him alone but he really wanted his paci. He was really thirsty, too. So, he nodded his head and snuggled his stuffie.

"Hmm, how old are ya feelin', kiddo?" Papa asked.

Scout thought about it before holding up two fingers. His papa nodded and pulled a sippy cup with bunnies on it. It was Scout's favorite cup and he squirmed excitedly when he saw it!

"Now, I'll be right back, kiddo. I'm gonna clean yer paci and fill yer cup." His papa said before walking out the door.

Scout laid in bed trying to fight off sleep. He wanted a bedtime story, but he was so sleepy. A few minutes later Engineer walked in with his paci and juice. Scout sat up and took a drink of his juice before papa put his cup on his night stand. His papa handed him the pacifier and Scout put it in his mouth happily. Engineer turned off the lights and turned on the bedside lamp. Scout often used it as a night light. Scout closed his eyes as his papa tucked him in. His papa read him a story called Peter Rabbit. Scout listened to half of it before falling asleep. Engineer leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight, kiddo." Engineer said as he left the room.

🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧🧦⚾🧰🔧

#sfw littlespace #age re safe space #agere little #age regressor #age regression #sfw agere #tf2 scout #tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 agere #tf2 age regression #Age regressor scout #Caregiver engineer #light angst #crying #sadness #angst with a happy ending #angst with comfort #comfort

[wednak]

A Message for Weddud

Dear Weddud,

My god have I mulled over this, trying to figure out what to say, how to behave or whether or not to just let it all go. The truth is that regardless of how hard I’ve been trying, I don’t have any answers.

I’ve spent so many hours trying to reflect and analyze so I could come to a place where I feel like I know the right path of thought or of action, with any sense of surety or finality. And at the end of it all, what I keep coming back to is that I do not know. Maybe it’s okay to not know and maybe that is an answer in itself but either way those are not the reason I am writing this today.

Because one thing that I do know is that every time I said I cared more about your well-being than my ego and selfish desire to have you in my life, I truly meant it.

There was a time when I thought that meant I had to let you reap the natural consequences of your actions. So that maybe you could have the same aha moment I did one day and break free of your trauma in way similar to how I did. I still kinda think that in a way. But not entirely.

I remember one of the things I thought over and over again last year was “If he cared about me as much as he does his gym goals, he wouldn’t be acting this way.” I thought that if you couldn’t care about keeping me in your life with the same dedication and commitment that you had for achieving your PRs then you didn’t care about me enough to deserve having me. And so I very intentionally decided to take a step back and instead let you show me where we stood.

But one of the few things that I actually have come to realize is that maybe you physically can’t care about me or anyone else the same way you care about the gym for example. The gym is your safe space, your place of refuge, the thing that kept you alive and pulled you out of the darkness that threatened to overtake you, maybe even still does. The gym has never hurt and scarred you, the same way people have. You can control the gym, trust it and be it’s master. Of course you wouldn’t be able to do this with people. People are the very thing that caused your trauma in the first place so of course you wouldn’t be able to care about and trust them in the same way, even if you really wanted to.

So I shouldn’t be able to blame you or be resentful for something that you did not choose out of your own accord. None of the things that have happened to you and have shaped who you are today are things that you chose to experience.

I went into writing this with the intention of not making any assumptions about you and then I’ve just gone ahead and made a whole lot of assumptions. But I’ve thought about it for a bit and I think that perhaps, after everything we’ve been through, I might be “entitled” to make at at least a couple. They could very well be wrong anyway, I’m not naive enough to think I understand you to any degree of accuracy, especially now, but I do hope when you get to the end of this, you’ll understand why I’ve decided to make them and that there is a purposeful intention behind everything I‘m saying.

I know deep down behind that avoidant and cold facade of yours, there is someone who was abandoned and disregarded and ridiculed over and over again, to the point where you’ve become lost and trapped in a wrongful self-perception that never should have been yours in the first place. A deeply-engrained and self-perpetuating cycle of self-sabotage and stuckness that keeps you misaligned on such a fundamental level.

I’ve thought long and hard about what the point of writing this is and how to make it all sound like it isn‘t just platitudes. I think maybe the point of it is this: It doesn’t have to be like this EG. You can break out of the cycle of constantly running away from your ghosts, feeling like you can never slow down and everything you hold dear always seems to be slipping through your fingers. Life doesn’t have to be so heavy that you only find refuge in the gym or in reckless, dangerous and self-sabotaging behavior. You don‘t have to be so numb that the only time you feel alive is when you‘re going too fast on your motorbike. Life can be processed and dealt with and FELT without having the pain overcome you. It can be tragic in all its entirety but also beautiful and magical. You aren’t doomed to some fate just because of your genetics, your childhood, a diagnosis or the decisions you’ve made since. And you never have been. You can find the light again and feel the meaning and grace in experiencing a life that encompasses ALL the emotions, not just the good ones.

But the truth is, you have to be willing to make that change and work for it. I won’t ever be able to pull you out of it with my care and my patience and my understanding, regardless of how badly I may have wanted to try. Nor will anybody else. You can’t drown it out of existence or rationalize it away. And it won’t eventually go away just because you’ve “gotten it out of your system”. It’s not just a phase or a habit that can be broken. Trauma is real, every part of it. It is deep and all-encompassing and it is not something that anyone chooses to experience or even to perpetuate. And it’s not something anybody should ever be ashamed of. It’s like the devil that possesses the best of us and is nearly impossible to shake. I understand that it might be the scariest thing to even just think about facing the darkness that once threatened to engulf you.

But it can be faced. And it can be shaken.

I’m not gonna sit here and lecture you about how all of it can just go away and you’ll live happily ever after. It’ll never go away completely. But trauma CAN be healed enough in order to get to a place where you can control it, not have it control you.

I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve seen countless stories of people doing it. Change is possible if you give yourself the chance to actually pursue it and not just put it off by saying “behavior change takes time”.

I made you a promise once that regardless of what you and I did to sabotage and destroy our presence in each other’s lives, I would never abandon you the way everyone else has. Now I don’t mean that in the romantic sense because quite frankly, I could write 5 of these essays and still not have come any closer to making any sort of conclusion as to our compatibility and dysfunction. After everything we’ve been through there is so much of our own shared trauma that we’ve created that it would take significant effort on both our parts to work through it together. And that isn’t the topic of this essay anyway nor is it reason I’m finally writing. Because your priority needs to be you, and only you. Not self-prioritization masked as continuing self-sabotage and self-abandonment. Real prioritization because you too, deserve to break free from the life you think you are doomed to live.

Like I said before, I started writing the essay saying I wasn’t going to speculate on your experiences or make any assumptions. I realized halfway through that I am most definitely making many of those. I am making assumptions based on the years of having known you. I am making assumptions based on having watched you play the part of tortured soul for so long and default to distrust everyone you meet. I have watched you surround yourself with unworthy people that I know you hate, just so you could perpetuate a narrative and belief that insists you also are unworthy. I have seen you say one thing and then do the complete opposite, over and over and over again. Trapped in cycles of wanting and pushing away. Slaving away towards a better future but all the while just running in one spot and never actually moving forward in any meaningful way. I have watched you create the most beautiful mind with an extraordinary value system for yourself over the years, but never have I actually seen you operate your life and make choices based on that value system at all.

Behaviors like this exist for a reason. They are coping mechanisms and trauma reactions that are designed to protect you from pain. But if held on too long, they actually become the chains that bind you and cause more suffering and pain than you ever experienced in the first place. I know you have what it takes to break out of these chains EG. You’re the most determined mf 🐐 I‘ve ever known. You’ve broken every gym goal you’ve ever set for yourself. If you actually tried with the same kind of commitment, you could break this too.

Even if everyone in your life (including you) may have abandoned hope for you, I will never do so because I continue to see who you could become and I’ll spend my life trying to push you to become that person.

Even if everyone and everything in your life is trying to pull you deeper into the dysfunction or to abandon you to it, I’m never gonna give into either of those things. I know what the darkness and the agony and the self-hatred feel like. I’ve swam in those waters for so many years and I understand their allure. How it becomes an addiction to loathe yourself while pretending everything is fine. As with any addiction, your brain tricks you into WANTING to hold onto it and fearing to let it go because for some fucked up reason, the self-loathing feels GOOD.

It has the devil’s name written all over it.

It’s hell on earth.

And there is an entire religion founded on the principles of mastering the devil‘s attempts at possession so that you can learn how to truly be free and experience heaven in all its glory.

So start surrendering yourself to God, not just in your mind but in your actions.

Or look up EMDR. Or Dr. Gabor Mate (!!). Or commit to learning about Weddud the same way you commit to the gym. Don’t hide behind labels and diagnoses as if they were irreversible and start to learn about how every decision you make is a learned coping mechanism that can be unlearned. Stop neglecting yourself with willful ignorance and watch how your entire sense of self starts to transform.

There are many, many things you could do to allow yourself to create the life that you deserve to be living. It doesn’t have to just be religion or just be therapy. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you start as long as you don’t give up.

Everything we have been through has made my heart break in more ways than I ever could have imagined possible when we first met in 2017. But I mean it from the bottom of my beautiful patchwork heart, letting yourself be dragged to hell by the devil and never even trying to fight it, that will break my heart more than any mount of loss or earthly separation ever could.

Interestingly, this essay feels very similar in energy to the last one I wrote on here. But I think what happened then is that even though we might have had the best of intentions, perhaps we both fell back into patterns of using each other as emotional crutches that continue to perpetuate the same cycles. I’m no longer interested in recreating cycles like that. Both of our behavior may be understood in the context of our past but that doesn’t mean they have to be excused.

What I am interested in however, is offering you the support and encouragement that anyone of us may need when embarking on such a journey. Helping you to safety, the way you did me, with real and meaningful actions and accountability, not with meaningless sweet talk about an imagined future that just vanishes from one moment to the next.

If you ever get to the point where you hate yourself so much you cannot continue to bare it; if everything in your life disgusts you to the point that it hurts, if you understand that the only way forward is to actually start to change; or if you ever just need extra support in holding you accountable because you do not trust yourself to do it, please know that I always am (and will continue to be) right here.

And if you are reading all of this and it does not resonate with you right now, that is okay too dear Weddud. Just because it was the right point in my timeline for me to say it, does not mean it needs to be the right time for you to hear it just yet.

I started this off by saying that I do not have any answers to the questions I‘ve been asking myself day in and day out for the last few months. Sometimes I don’t know if I haven’t gone mad. What is the purpose of this bond that I have so blindly stumbled into? This thing that neither of us actually chose to create. Why is it that regardless of all the hurt and the pain and how hard I may try, I cannot escape it? Why has god shackled me to this bond with you? Why won’t he release me from it, even though when we try, we cannot be together without imploding? Why won’t he release me from being faithful to a man who has betrayed me over and over and over again since the very first day that we met? How can this thing that feels like heaven on earth also feel like absolute hell? Is this divinity or is it just another trauma addiction? Am I grossly misunderstanding the role we are supposed to be playing in each other’s lives or am I just too afraid to fulfill the role that feels so obvious?

Look. I said before that I do not have the answers to any of these questions. I do not know why this world has shackled me to someone who resides in hell and whose fire continues to burn me and set me aflame. The only reason I can think of is because I have a role to play in helping you extinguish your fire. The same way you had a role to play in helping me extinguish mine.

I don’t know what will happen when our fires are out. If that is when this bond is released or when it only begins. I guess that is for God to know and for us to find out. So the last thing I want to say is this:

We all get tried in the fire EG but that does not mean we have to reside there. So if you ever find yourself wanting to find your way out of hell, I will be here and pass along all of the water I have.

————

Alrighti, for the fact that I have written to you again and again for nearly a year, always deleting or stacking away the papers, racking my brain as to what to say or if to say anything at all, procrastinating out of fear of taking any sort of action or even as much as knocking on a door that was very intentionally closed, all of these words really just flowed out of me without any previous planning or overanalyzing whatsoever.

One might call them careless whispers. But I actually think they are pretty care-full ;)

Non refert ubi es, ego semper est tecum,

Niknak

[rexxyrattt]

Drama: Gen Y-1&2

Favorite Friendship.

Mark and Wayu. Mark was ready to give up everything to protect Wayu. He was always there for him and always cared for him. In the first season when Pha and Wayu break up and Mark pulls up with an umbrella in the rain. This remains one of my all time favorite friendships. L

Secondly. The “Children” as I call them, which would be Sab, Phai, Sandee, Pok, Tong, Galae. This group of friends and how they support eacho other even through the fight between Sandee and Tong. -SPOILER- When Pok kicks Tong out and they “break up” and Tong moves in with Galae and he’s explaining how he would break his words… i honestly couldn’t explain how my heart broke.

Favorite Couple:

This will also have two sections.

MarkKit- The way Mark chased and fought for Kit I can’t get over. He really went the extra mile to love him and I appreciate that. Mark has so much loyalty and love for Kit and he never stops showing it. Kit on the same hand has so many walls up and Mark breaks all of them down. Kit has such a hard shell. He is very tough. But he is also one of the most loving characters. When he rejects Mark the first time it’s because he hasn’t shown him all the effort that he should of. He hasn’t matched Marks energy and love yet and I think as a character he felt like he needed to express that he ALSO loved Mark and wanted to be with him.

PokTong: I have no idea why this couple grew on me. Because they are toxic. I love that they were both “interested” in each other but I feel like Tong had no idea how to show it. Or really knew what it was. But he still cheated for Pok. He switched his answers so he could “help” him. Tong made such a bad choice here. He did it wanting to help Pok but it did a lot of damage when it finally came out. I have a lot of feelings about what happened with them. More so later on in the season when they hooked up. I knew Tong cared about Pok, and he did love him. He just hated himself because he was lying to him the entire time.

#gen y #gen y the series #gen y 2 #poktong #markkit

[sneakybananabox]

Would it be ok for u to write a fic where Bea gets absolutely drunk (to rid of jealousy because seeing poppy with carter hurts her) at a bar causing her to makeout with another woman where said girl takes her to a private room to get intimate and Bea passes out in the middle of it? And Poppy happens to see this all unfold and…. U can decide what happens next

I got really into this prompt. Thank you for the request.

Warning: Cursing, drinking, SA

I'm sorry

Bea waited for her popcorn to finish and thought about what she would watch on Netflix, ready for her night in. She decided early on that night she just needed a break. Like every college kid, she was being crushed by tests, notes, and more tests. She was ready to watch some shitty show and enjoy some snacks that probably weren’t the best for her health. Not like it mattered much since her body was toned from working on the farm and her fast metabolism.

Staying in felt like a relief, she didn’t want to be around anyone, especially a certain strawberry blonde. It had been a week since their encounter and it took every part of her thoughts. Everything, in the end, led to her thinking about Poppy and she hated it. She wished that night never happened, even though it was the night she knew she had feelings for one Poppy Min-Sinclair. 

“This is going to be a blast.” Sabina jumped excitedly in costume. She fixed her zoot suit hat and suspenders. The black button shirt and white suspenders with the gray striped dress pants gave her the perfect mafia boss vibe. She kept three buttons open to show off her chest tattoos. 

“I guess.” Bea threw on her red puffy vest, she loved back to the future so when she found the Marty Mcfly costume she was ecstatic. She even found the Nike Bruins with the red swoosh. 

“Don’t be a buzzkill, Bea.” Zoey came from her room in her Dorothy costume. Sabina couldn’t help but admire her. She looked at her smooth legs and the way the dress captured her figure. 

“Wow Zoey. You look beautiful.” 

“Sab, better pick up your jaw off the ground before you trip over it. Bea, I know Halloween isn’t exactly your thing. Tonight is about us letting loose though. We deserve a night to relax and forget all our problems. Now my gorgeous roommates let’s go.”

After arriving the trio went straight to the bar. Now with the strength of liquid courage, it was time for dancing. They were enjoying themselves, letting the music drown out everything. Sabina danced with one of the Zetas before disappearing with her newfound dance partner. Bea looked around for Zoey before seeing her talking to someone from one of her classes. An arm pulled Bea out of the crowd and was met with Veronica.

“Hey Hughes, follow me.” Bea was skeptical. Why was one of Poppy’s minions actually talking to her? She let the alcohol make the call and followed the Zeta anyway.  Veronica entered a room upstairs and sat joining the circle on the ground. Bea looked and saw Chloe, Poppy, Carter, Ford, Liam, and Luis. 

“Veronica what the fuck!? Why is Farmsville here?”

“Well, I figured the most attractive people should be here. Zoey and Sab were unfortunately busy or nowhere to be found. Plus Bea is hot as fuck.” Veronica winked at Bea. She couldn’t help but blush at the compliment.

“Whatever. Everyone just sit down. We are playing spin the bottle. The group will rate the kiss and if you get a low score then you do seven minutes in heaven with that person. The queen will go first.” Poppy spun the bottle and it landed on Carter. She pulled Carter by his costumes and they definitely made sure they got a high score.

Bea went next and the bottle landed on Veronica. 

“Well, Veronicats I hope you enjoy the show. 'Veronica sauntered over to Bea and wrapped her arms around her neck. Their lips met, Veronica’s lips tasted like cherries, and Bea did love cherries. She grabbed Vi by her hips and pulled her closer. She wasn’t always this bold, she would have to thank the vodka for that. Veronica nipped Bea’s lip, but her soft lips soothed her immediately. Finally, they pulled back.

“Damn Bea. We should have done that a lot sooner.” Veronica smiled and pecked her lips one more time before going back to her spot.

“Shit that was hot.” Ford cheered on the two girls.

“Whatever, it wasn't that great,” Poppy mumbled. She didn’t know why everyone was impressed with Hughes. She had done nothing but ruined everything from the moment she stepped onto campus. Another feeling was bubbling in her chest. She decided to just push it down.

The time passed and almost everyone had kissed, even the Alphas had kissed each other. The only person Bea hadn’t kissed was Poppy. She was sure Poppy was using any telepathy to keep the bottle from landing on her, she wouldn’t have been surprised with how much she hated Bea. 

Poppy spun and the bottle twirled, the only thing that could be heard was the glass on the floor. The bottle slowed and landed directly on her arch-nemesis. Bea looked up and wasn’t sure what emotion flashed across Poppy’s face. She got up and approached Poppy and offered her hand.

“Looks like you are unlucky tonight Poptart.” Poppy dreaded this moment but knew it would happen eventually. She grabbed Bea's hand and got up, she stumbled a bit and landed in Bea’s arms. “Falling for me already? We haven’t even kissed.” Bea smirked at Poppy.

“Let’s get this over with.” Poppy grabbed Bea’s shirt and pulled her close. Their lips met hard, but soon they found their rhythm. Poppy tasted like strawberry, way better than cherries. As quickly as it started they broke apart. 

“Hm, I don’t know guys. I think Poppy and Hughes got the lowest score of the night.” Liam announced to the group. 

“I agree Liam. Looks like you two have to do the seven minutes.” Luis agreed. 

“You two are out of your mind.” Poppy complained while glaring at the Alphas. Everyone agreed with Ford and Luis. 

They found themselves in a closet. Bea looked at Poppy and admired her devil costume. It made her look devilish and it made Bea want to sin. 

“Keep your eyes to yourself, Farmhand.” Poppy snarled, she would have to think of a way to get back at the Alphas for forcing this situation. 

“Are we just going to stand here staring at each other?”  Bea wanted to change the subject, she couldn’t help staring at Poppy otherwise. 

“If you think I am going to kiss you again then you are out of your mind.” 

“Okay, I am out of here.” Bea began to walk out of the room, but Poppy grabbed her hand. The room suddenly became ten degrees hotter. Poppy pulled Bea closer, she could feel her breath on her neck. 

“I am no quitter Hughes and I don’t want it live-streamed on Veronica’s stupid channel.” Poppy kissed Bea, snuffing out any words that were at the tip of her tongue. This kiss was different, it wasn’t as angry as before. Poppy rested her arms around Bea’s neck and got closer. She could feel the warmth radiate from the Zeta queen. She pulled her close, emitting a moan from Poppy. Her heart felt like it would beat right out of her chest. Her tongue met Poppy’s lips parting her lips. Their kiss was more than lust, Bea could feel it. They heard a timer, reluctant to part from one another. Without saying another word Poppy disappeared out of the room. All Bea could do was look at the spot the woman once stood in front of her. 

Whenever they would encounter each other after that time, Poppy would avoid her. Her words during their sporadic encounters weren’t as angry. It was like the ice queen lost her chill. She missed seeing Poppy as much. She was grateful that Sab and Zoey came to interrupt her thoughts. 

“Hey sis. I know you have a date with popcorn and Netflix, but there is a party at this crazy house. I heard they have the best catering in the city and Lil Nos F is going to be performing.” Sabina hopped on the couch next to Bea, stealing her popcorn.

“No, absolutely not.” Bea snatched her popcorn back away from Sab.

“Bea, please. I am a huge fan of Nos and if I can talk to him maybe it can help with my djing.” Zoey pleaded while batting her eyes at Bea. She knew that her roommate wouldn’t be able to resist the power of her gorgeous brown eyes. 

“Ugh fine. Only because you asked and not for Sab.”

“Hey! I am right here.”

Bea got ready and they all piled into Zoey’s Mercedes-Maybach GLS 600 SUV. They reached the new house at the height of the party. While coming in they greeted their peers as they passed, the trio had taken the campus by storm and were popular amongst the student body. There were waiters with different drinks on platters and different snacks. Bea thought this had to be the fanciest university party she had ever been to, that was saying something considering the school she went to. She grabbed a glittery purple drink from one of the trays to sip on. It tasted fruity but still had the burn going down.

She tried her best to mingle and enjoy herself, she should have snuck some popcorn into the party. She went to the kitchen in hopes of scrounging up her favorite buttery snack. She wasn’t prepared for what she walked in. Sitting on the counter was Poppy making out with Carter. Her head tilted up as he kissed her neck. The whole house could collapse and Bea wouldn’t be able to notice the difference, she had already been crushed. 

Poppy looked at her, but before she could say anything Bea ran out the room. She tried so hard to hold back the tears but failed as they ran down her cheeks. She was mad at herself, of course, Poppy would never be with her. She only saw her as some farmhand. She thought Poppy and Carter had broken up a long time ago. It didn’t matter now, her chance at the ice queen was gone. Bea took another drink, this time a brown liquid, and downed it in seconds. She would do anything not to feel anymore. She needed another drink and quickly.

Four and a half drinks later and the only thing felt was spacey. The music seemed better and everything seemed more vibrant. She was having a blast dancing in the main living room. A girl caught her eye across the makeshift dance floor. She was gorgeous and she couldn’t keep her eyes off Bea. Tonight was a good night to try new things, so with all her courage, she went over to the woman. Walking wasn’t as easy as before, the drinks were doing the walking now, and Bea was just along for the ride.

“Would you care to dance?” Bea offered her hand to the mysterious stranger, only slightly slurring. The woman gave her hand and they went over to the dance floor. They danced closely, their hands roaming each other’s bodies. Bea felt thirsty from the dancing, downing two more drinks to quench her thirst. The stranger and Bea’s lips met messily. Things were getting heated quickly. The woman led Bea to a room upstairs, closing the door. Bea stumbled over to the bed barely able to walk straight. She landed on the bed and could barely keep her eyes open. The girl started kissing Bea and took off her jacket. Bea looked up at the woman and that was the last thing she saw.

Poppy just wanted to get Bea Hughes off her mind tonight. That night back at the costume party meant more than she knew. Poppy had felt something that night in the closet. What would it look like if she ended up with her arch-nemesis? She would lose any credibility she had built for herself. Her pride caused her to take a couple drinks back and almost hook up with Carter at the party tonight. She didn’t think she would run into Bea that night but also wished she would. The look of hurt would be ingrained in Poppy’s brain forever. She left Carter at that moment and just stayed with the Zetas. She watched Bea from afar drinking and enjoying the company of some stranger. The jealous feeling ran through her veins. She had no right to be jealous after the events earlier in the night. She pried her eyes away only to see Bea later stumble barely able to walk going upstairs. Something felt wrong. Poppy went to find Sabina and then get to Bea.

Poppy went to the first door and knocked and heard the girl. She couldn’t hear Bea though. Adrenaline took over Poppy’s thought process, and she was lucky her parents enrolled her in taekwondo. She kicked in the door and saw Bea passed out on the bed. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” The mysterious woman shouted. Poppy wasn’t going to let her get another word out. She rushed and threw a punch at the stranger, landing straight on her cheek. The woman fell to the ground out cold.

"Don't you ever fucking touch her again or I will ruin your fucking life," Poppy growled at the woman on the ground.

Sabina, Zoey and Poppy ran over to Bea. They helped carry her back to Zoey’s SUV and back to the dorm. 

Bea woke up, feeling like she took a brick to the head. She looked around and saw she was back in her room. Sleeping in the chair in her room was Poppy. Maybe she was still drunk or asleep. She looked over and saw aspirin and water next to her bed. She drank the water with the aspirin, knocking over the bottle of pain meds when setting down the water. Poppy jolted awake and blinked sleepily.

“Sorry for waking you Pops.” Bea looked down instead at the blonde in front of her. 

“How are you feeling Bea?” Bea shot her head up making herself dizzy, she had never used her first name before. 

“I feel hungover and stupid. I drank way too much last night.”

“Do you remember anything about last night Bea?”

Bea felt sick as Poppy retold the events from last night and it wasn’t just from the hangover. She was grateful Poppy saw what was happening. She couldn’t help, but feel impressed at the thought of her throwing a punch. Bea looked over and saw Poppy’s lightly bruised knuckles, damn and she hit hard. Shuffling to the kitchen Bea got an ice pack wrapped in a napkin to help Poppy’s knuckles feel better.

“Thanks, Hughes.” A sense of disappointment washed over Bea already missing hearing her first name move past Poppy’s lips.

“I am the one who should be thanking you. You saved me.”

“Be honest with me Hughes. Why did you drink so much?” Bea didn’t know how to answer the question. She didn’t want to burden Poppy with any sense of guilt. 

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit Hughes. We may not always have been friends, but I know you well enough that you just lied.”

“Ok. Ok. I let my emotions get the best of me last night. I was um- jealous and hurt seeing you and Carter.”

“Shit,” Poppy mumbled under her breath, when would she stop hurting people.

“Don’t do that, Pops. I know what it’s like taking on guilt for other peoples’ actions. You carry that shit around with you and it will ruin you from the inside out.”

“I hurt you and you are still trying to console me. You are something else Hughes” They sat in silence for a moment. Seeing Bea in trouble made Poppy realize that she felt something for Bea. It was more than a kiss that night a month ago. It was time she worked on putting her pride aside. “Bea, what you saw in the kitchen with Carter was a mistake. I did it because I was trying to deny what I felt for.. you.” 

Bea wasn’t sure if it was because of last night or all the emotions coursing through her, but she thought she was going to throw up. Poppy was admitting her feelings for her.

“Poppy Min-Sinclair, are you saying you like me? With this much luck I better try the lottery tonight.”

“Don’t ruin it Hughes. If you don’t feel the sa-”

“Poptart I feel the same way.” Poppy thought her heart exploded for a moment. Her smile beamed across her face. “I know a great breakfast place. I swear the omelets could solve any problem.” 

“A date Hughes? Already?”

“I move quick.” Bea got up and offered her hand to Poppy. She was inches away from Poppy’s lips. “Maybe this kiss gets a better rating than last night?

“Don’t ruin it, Bea.” Poppy closed the distance and kissed Bea, her girlfriend. 

#poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc #queen b choices #pb choices #belvoire #bea hughes #thanks anon! #anon reply

[lilisouless]

I really like the scene of Ruin and Rising where the girls are taking a break and talking about the things they miss before the war , even if they seem shallow it´s still little things in their life that were mundane and may never see again. It´s probably my favorite scene from the book.

The only thing that stops me from loving it completely is that, this is a moment of friendship but ,with the exception of Tamar ,...they were all AWFUL to each other in the first book.

FOLLOWING THERE IS A LOT OF SAB RANT. Beware if you love the first book. While not anti Genyalina or Zoyalina , i am definitely not saying good things about either (as relationships and not ships themselves) some Alina critical and NOT book!Nadia friendly. If you are not in the mood for all this maybe you should keep scrolling OR give me your best counterpoint, you know i am flexible.

However, if you like the show version of Zoyalina/Genyalina/Nadia, then you may like/want to see the last points

-Nadia hated Zoya yet pretended to be her friend ,only hung out with Alina because she was the sun sumoner and look down on Genya because she was a servant

-Zoya phisically attaked Alina and insulted her for coming from an orphanage ,out of jelaousy

-Alina , as much as i hate her inner monologue, is probably the least bad since she only complains about how much she despises Nadia and Zoya in her thoughts and not out loud. The thing that irritates me is that she talks back to a guard for yelling at her YET (inconsistency is Sab!Alina´s middle name) she doesn't do shit in order to defend Genya from Nadia and Marie . Honestly, they may be friends in the second and third book but they are definitely not in the first one.

-Genya, look: i don't hold it against her, i get her position and i know she didn't mean to harm Alina. But cutting her comunication with Mal and helping her boss to do what he did to Alina is probably the worst any of the girls have done to each other (again, she undid this by helping Alina at a crucial moment, becoming a real friend and definitely didn't deserved to being desfigured). Also i still don't get why getting into Zoya´s room to mock her, like why was that necesary?

The thing is not that i wished they were nicer to each other (although it would have helped) i wish there was develoment to make the prev scene being more powerfull:

-Alina actually hating Genya for what she did , even if she also wants to save her form the king and the general. So when Genya helps her THEN forgives her and feel guilt for what happened to her because of that. But in canon she just goes , "oh Genya stole the letters? It´s cool i´m sure she had her reasons?" which would work if Alina was forgiving but the next three books she completely despises Zoya for sleeping with Mal, which is honestly way less bad.

-If you want to keep Alina not standing up to Genya to M&N then exploit it, have Genya saying "i hate doing this to her...but she clearly doesn't care about me and just sees me as a servant like everyone else here" then after Alina helps her standing up to the king and confort her about the scars realizing that Alina does care.

-Nadia was completely retconed, none of her hypocritical and haughty personality shown in SaB are reconigzed in the next books , they are just gone like "hey, remember she was a jerk in the first book? well forget it now, i need you to like her now" . Alina barely seems to remember she didn't like her and her fake friendship with Zoya is never adressed again and unlike the other three; she doesn't have an arc nor a disernible personality. With the other three, flawed as their relationship can be, at least you can get the nature of their interactions. What is the nature of all this girl´s interactions with Nadia?: Well, she and Tamar are into each other...and thats it, you can't really tell the bassis of her interactions with either of the three beyond what happens in the first book , which again: were not good. So with Nadia you either have her with no personality (S&S ,R&R) OR an awful one (Sab) and i can't tell which one is worse. In adition, does she ever brings up Marie? I don't remember. They were supposed to be best friends,they were the exact same character with the sole diference that one is gay and the other is dead. The scene would have been good if Nadia recalled a moment she had with her. In short: a sudden change of personality does not equal character develoment. Alina went from self absorved in SaB to actually compasionate and tolerable in R&R and while still had annoying moments ,the change was more gradual and easier to apreciate. Nadia just stopped being mean and no one ever remembers and this actitude ended up being useless , so she was awful for absolutely nothing.

-Zoya/Alina may be the only relationship with some develoment, i wouldn't expect Alina to inmediately being friends with Zoya. The problem here is the extreme opposite: that in the scene ,even after all they´ve been trought : ALINA STILL HATES ZOYA. One would think that after Zoya was the first one to offer her help , when Marie,Sergei and Nadia still doubt her, Alina would at least reconigze she is not as bad as she thought.

So i really like that chapter but hell, it could had been so much better. Maybe i got this wrong, i don't like the first book so it´s possible i have skipped something important.

The good thing is that , the show is 98% likely to do the scene with the power it deserves.

-Alina actually called Genya out about the letters. The audiende and she can see Genya´s face, trying to justify herself yet clearly in remorse and thats why Alina chooses to give her another chance.

- Nadia and Marie are not mean towards Genya here , so there is no need to question why Alina wouldn't defend her

- Not to say Alina actually dragged Genya out of the palace for some fun, have them actually acting like friends.

-Alina offers Genya a chance for forgiveness BUT so does with Zoya. The problem i had with the double standard is completely gone here because Alina´s moral compass has actual consistency.

-Nadia is not a fake friend with Zoya anymore, so there would be no issues to adress. In fact, remember the scene where Zoya attacked Alina: there, talking bad about Zoya is completely justified because she could have hurt Alina badly. Marie actually says "i can't believe she did that": they are surprised Zoya would act like that,meaning they think better of her and clarify she is just jealous (which was completely true) Nadia even takes the time to admire her (calm down Nadia i actually like, your wife is already cast and she is pretty). True, she doesn't have a lot going on with her here either and has less of a presence than in the books but she and Marie are actually pleasant to hang out with, you would understand Alina missing those two. There is absolutely no need for retcon here.

-So when we get the scene we will have Alina with: a friend who she enjoyed to hang out with (Nadia) a friend who protects her like a sister (Tamar) a rival turned friend (Zoya) and her best friend whom she had serious ups and downs with her but stayed together at the end (Genya). It may be a little too much to ask but i would love a little mention of Marie.

#i really like the grishaverse #but i hate the first book SO much #grishaverse rant #netflix shadow and bone #that scene with develoment? it would have been beautiful #the scene like it actually was? pretty fine but doesn't hold enought power #i am convinced that leigh created ninej as an apology for all the girl hate in the first book #grishaverse critical #ruin and rising #alina starkov critical #but book!alina #genya safin #zoya nazyalensky #anti nadia zhabin #but book! nadia #tamar kir bataar #sab netflix #shadow and bone netflix #don't know if i tag the ships because i am talking bad about the book version #but fine about the show

[eelistolvanen]

Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny Pt.4

A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter and it’s probably more of a filler. After this the next chapter (Pt. 5) is probably going to be the last one(Hopefully longer than this one).  Thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged or commented! Let me know if you like it! Happy reading <3

Words: 2.9k 

Warnings: Angst, more heartbreak, mentions of a panic attack, no proofread (as usual)

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3  

------------------------------------------------

Nobody else on the team knew anything more about your suspicion. They were just as clueless as you were about what exactly happened.

Christmas was coming around and you were busy with work most days. You were still hanging out with some of the boys and the girls on the team, just not as frequent. And even though the situation with Travis still wasn’t really resolved you were trying to avoid him. Not that he was looking for you or reach out for you, but you made sure that there wasn’t a chance of an unexpected run in like there had been at Halloween.

You mostly hung out with Kevin. Nolan was hanging out with Kelsey most days and as much as you loved both of them, you tried to stay away from third wheeling a couple for now. And Kev was fun to hang out. He never pressed the Travis issue and was always able to get your head away from work.

And it was just before Christmas when Maddie broke the happy news to you. Provy proposed to her and you needed to be one of the first to know. At least that’s what she was telling you when she stormed your apartment that day. You were happy for her, they were a great couple but you couldn’t help the heavy heart you got when she mentioned what her dream wedding looked like. You smiled through her showing you her wedding pinterest and telling you about the place she wanted to get married at. That the wedding would be perfect.

You felt a sab in your heart. Your wedding was perfect, everything had been picture perfect. Besides that one thing. That ruined everything.

 He slowly shook his head. “He’s not coming, Y/N.”

At first you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t really understand, you didn’t want to understand because understanding would also mean that you in a way accepted it. And you didn’t.

“No, Nolan. This can’t be right. Maybe… maybe you misunderstood him. I.. I-“ There wasn’t anything he could say that would make this hurt less and he needed to tell you the truth. He couldn’t sugarcoat this. No matter how many times Nolan had protected you before, tried to keep you out of harms, this time he wouldn’t be able to do so anymore. He couldn’t protect you from harm. From heartbreak.

“He called the wedding off, Y/N. I’m so sorry-“ You couldn’t listen to him and you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to hear him apologize for something he didn’t do.

“I have to talk to him, Nolan. Where is he?” Nolan stayed silent and you could already guess his answer but you weren’t just heartbroken anymore. You were angry.

“WHERE IS HE?” You barely raised your voice and Nolan visibly flinched at your change in tone.

“He already left.”  You were in denial and angry so you were only half registering what Nolan said. And as much as Nolan tried to convince you that he’d already left and that it was stupid to run all the way to the room where he was supposed to get dress for his own wedding, you weren’t listening.

You swung the door to his room open, by now halfway believing Nolan that he had left and expecting an empty room, but you were met with Travis’ silhouette. At least you mistook it for his silhouette for a second. His brother had enough similarity to Travis to fool you at first glance.

Then Chase turned around and the expression on his face would have broken you if your heart hadn’t already been shattered minutes prior.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. He’s gone.” He looked at you the same way Nolan had. Full of pity, sorrowful, hurt.

You only spotted the letter he had in his hand once he stepped closer to you.

“He asked me to give you this.” He handed you the letter but before he could blink you had thrown it across the room. “Why didn’t you stop him Chase!” You were hammering your fists onto his chest. You knew it wasn’t his fault but your anger had taken over, he slowly caught your wrists while your punches lost force. “I tried Y/N, believe me I tried.”

You didn’t wanna hear it, you ripped your wrists from his grasp and made your way out the door. Nolan’s “Where are you doing?” were left unanswered.

On your way out you ran into Maddie. And apparently everyone already knew that the wedding was called off. You brushed off her inquiries about your well being and quickly appointed her to your personal chauffeur. You could sense that she wanted to fight this but by now you had turned into full on bridezilla and she knew better than to get in your way.

She had barely stopped the car in front of yours and Travis’ shared house before you jumped out and made your way up the stairs. And for the next couple minutes you ran around your house like a mad person, still in your gown and everything while trying to process what had happened.

When you came to a standstill Maddie was already standing in the doorway.

“Y/N…” Her tone was cautious but laced with pain. She hated to see you this broken and she hated Travis for doing this to you.

“He’s gone..” You said it more to yourself than to her but it was still loud enough for her to hear it.  

“What..-“ Maddie barely got a word out. She knew Travis left the wedding but this felt different. It felt worse.

“His suitcase for our honeymoon is gone.” You gestured towards an area in the entryway. “His favourite snapbacks…” You moved towards an empty shelf. “His fishing rods… All the dog leashes… His grandmother’s picture on the nightstand… Everything that’s important to him… It’s all gone..”

This was it. This was your breaking point, for the first time that day you started to cry. “He’s gone, Maddie.” You sobbed under tears while she rushed to you to you. You felt yourself starting to hyperventilate, you were panicking.

“Ahrgh,.. get me… out.. get me out of this.” You were trying to rip your dress from your body but the lacing on the back kept it in place.

“Hey, hey, hey, Y/N. Breath Y/N, breath. I’m getting you out of this.”

It felt like forever till she had finally cut all the lacing open and shed you from your wedding dress. Your entire body was shaking as you fell onto your knees and completely broke down.

“It’s over, Maddie. It’s over.”

-----------------------------------

You had holed yourself up in your house for the next days. You didn’t want to see anyone right now. You knew they meant well, you just couldn’t take it. The only people you let in were Nolan for his daily check ups, Maddie and your sister. The day before Maddie had told you that she needed to get back home and that she would see you in Philly soon. You knew that you wouldn’t but she didn’t had to know that now. You weren’t in the mood to explain that your life in Philly was over. So you just nodded in agreement and said your goodbyes to her. This morning your sister had dropped to tell you that she had to fly back home. But not before telling you that you should consider coming home for a while as well. Your parents home or your sisters were always open for you. You tried to fight her, tell her that as long as you stayed here you weren’t giving up, that there was still a chance but deep down you had already contemplated the move back home before she had brought it up.

Now Nolan was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, nervously bouncing his legs. It was driving you nuts. You knew there was something he wasn’t telling you and you also knew that he was aware that you sensed this.

“Spit it out Nolan. What is it?” Your tone was irritated.

He took a deep breath before making eye contact with you.

“Chase got a hold of Travis.” His eyes were searching yours for a reaction before he continued

“He’s in Fiji. And he told Chase to move all his remaining stuff out of your house if you want to stay here. He won’t be back here for a while.”

You knew this was coming, deep down you knew he wouldn’t come back to you. But it still hurt more than you thought it would. It was over.

“Fiji? Please tell me he’s-“ Your voice broke before you could finish the sentence but Nolan knew what you were gonna ask anyway. His slight nod let you know what you wanted to know soon enough.

“Please tell me he’s by himself. That he didn’t take some mistress to our Honeymoon resort..”

Nolan’s eyes went wide. “I don’t know if he’s alone or not… You don’t.. you don’t think he’s cheating on you? Y/N?” He was almost to shocked to form a coherent sentence.

“I don’t know, Nolan…” You felt tired. And numb. Suddenly you felt like Nolan’s presence was crushing you.

“Thanks for stopping by Nolan.” Your tone made it clear that he wasn’t welcomed anymore. It was cold and unfair what you did to Nolan but you wanted to be alone.

It took you a while to realise that he left something on your kitchen island after he left. It dawned on you what it was after you picked it up. The letter you threw across the room that Chase gave you. It had your name on top of it in Travis’ scrawny handwriting.

You turned towards one of the kitchen drawers and started searching through them until you found what you were looking for.

For a moment the thought of burning the entire house down crossed you mind. No, you could probably go to jail for that. The letter, however, went up in flames seconds later.  

That afternoon you cleared everything that fit in your car out of your house. You had made your choice. The life you once had was gone. Travis wasn’t coming back to you. So instead of trying to hang onto a life that was only inflicting you pain you decided to leave it behind. All of it. Travis, the dogs, the house, Nolan, all your friends in Philly. An entire life, really.

By the time Nolan came around the next day for this next check up you were already miles away from your old life. You said goodbye to the last pieces of that life a few weeks later. By now you were able to transfer to a local school near your hometown. You emptied everything that belonged to you out of your and Travis’ shared Philly place.

Quietly, like a ghost, you vanished from your past life until there were no traces of you left anymore.

You tried to share Maddie’s excitement as much as you could. She knew herself that this wasn’t easy for you and was a little more lenient than usual. You also got invited to the Flyers Christmas party but had to decline because you already had something school related that evening. In a way you were relieved that you had an excuse but you were also a bit sad since you loved hanging out with the team.

It was already mid January when you saw Travis again. Strictly by coincidence. It had nothing to do with the team or Nolan or Kevin. You were out shopping but since you were looking for something different than usual, something for your students actually, you found yourself on the other side of town. Not in your wildest dreams did you think you would run into Travis in a parking lot. You probably wouldn’t have even noticed him if he hadn’t called out to you.

“Oh, hey Travis” You were sure he realised how shocked you were to see him, and he kinda looked at you the same way. Like two aliens from the same planet meeting each other on another planet or something. At least that’s how it looked to you.

“How are you Y/N?” His voice was soft, contrary to his appearance.

Was he seriously trying to make small talk with you in parking lot?

“Good. Busy with school and stuff.” You weren’t quite sure what to say, were you just gonna talk like some people who barely knew each other? Or was there more behind his question?

“Ah, yeah, Haysey told be that you’re teaching in Philly again.” You raised your eyebrows, he talked with Kev about you? He seemed to notice your questioning look on your face.

“I ask him about it. I just wanted to know how you’re doing.” Your heart sunk towards your feet at his words. You wished he didn’t care so much, it would be easier if he wasn’t trying so hard to fix this.

“Yeahh… It’s good.” You turned back towards your car, enough small talk.

“Don’t just run away again, Y/N. I’m trying, I am.”

You felt your emotions flare up again. Why couldn’t he just let it be?

“Your not trying hard enough.”

He was stroking through his hair in despair.

“What do you want me to do then?” You stared at him. How many times did you have to tell him again? Why couldn’t he answer the one question you wanted to know.

“I want you to tell me the real reason! What was in that letter Travis?”

“ I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N.” You scoffed, of course he would deflect again. He always did. “Oh really? What did you think would happen when you left me at the altar then? That I would be happy? Why Travis, why? I just don’t understand your reason.”

“Why is it so important to you? Why do I have to explain my reasons to you? I fucked up, ok? I made the biggest mistake of my life. I ruined my life. And I’m so sorry, Y/N. If I could turn back time I would do it all differently. In a perfect life I would have married you and we would have kids by now. But I fucked that up. It was all my fault and I’m so so sorry. Isn’t that enough?”

You stared at him for a while. You knew he would wait til you spoke up. You slowly shook your head.

“No, it’s not. I wanna know the real reason. I know there is one.” You tried your hardest to keep your voice steady.

“Why do you wanna know so bad?!” His voice was rising and so was yours as you shouted,

“Because I need to know it to move on!” Travis was visibly taken aback. He looked like someone slapped him in the face. He was left speechless so you continued.

“Since the wedding I’ve been running away from it all. From all the memories, from the pain, from my life, my friends. I thought that running away would ease the pain. I thought I could move on. But deep down all the pain was still there, bottled up deep down. And I realise now that I have to face it and work through it to move on. But I need to make peace with the reason why you left me, I…-”

You didn’t get any further before Travis finally found his voice.

“Move on? You’re… you’re moving on? I thought we could work this out.”

You looked at the sky and let out something between a laugh and a groan.

“There’s nothing to work on, Travis. There is no us, not anymore.”

“But you still love me!” He sounded angry now, his tone throwing you off guard.

“No, I don’t. Not anymore.” That was a lie, but you couldn’t give him any hope. Not when you’d already lost yours.

“That’s a lie, Y/N. I know you and I know when you’re lying.”

“You used to know me, Travis. Not anymore. Things have changed. The pain you put me through changed me.”

Even a complete stranger could detect the absolute agony in your voice when you said that. And Travis knew that you meant it, you wanted to move on.

Defeated he turned away from you, he didn’t want to tell you the reason. Especially not when knowing that it meant that you would move on once he told you. But he had to, he owed that to you. Even if it was the last thing he would ever get to say to you, he owed that to you.

“It’s not any of the reason that you think. There was never anyone else. And I knew that I would never find anyone better than you. But I promised you, I promised I wouldn’t do this to you.”

It took you a moment to understand what he was talking about. What promise he meant. And when you did, suddenly everything seemed to fall apart inside you. A silent sob escaped your lips. A disbelieving, shocked “No..” was all you came up with. This couldn’t be true. He’d turned around now and when you looked at him you could see that silent tears were running down his face. You didn’t remember ever seeing him in so much despair.

“ I promised you, Y/N…”

Part 5

#travis konecny #travis konecny imagine #travis konency fic #travis konecny x reader #philadelphia flyers #nhl fic #nhl imagine #My writing

[82mkl]

a week at the cafe (na jaemin)

a week at the café (na jaemin)

pairing: na jaemin x reader

word count: 2.1k words.

content: fluff

notes: lowercase intended.

day one.

“good afternoon! what’s your order?” “one large americano and a watermelon shake please” you say. “can you add a cheesecake too?” mark adds. “i’ll pay for it this time y/n, but you have to help me pass college.” you chuckle at his words, “sure markie.” you sat down at an empty table waiting to be called. “can you believe we have one week left of summer and then we are officially college students,” mark groans. “i can’t wait to study medicine!” you say sarcastically. “i should have chosen music too,” you frown. he flicks your forehead, “you’re crazy! you’ll be one of the best doctor, i’m sure of it.” before you could reply, mark’s phone rings. “it’s my girlfriend.” you smile at him and say, “tell sab i miss her and i can’t wait to study anatomy with her.” you both laugh and he goes out of the café to answer the call.

seconds later, the barista calls out mark’s name. you look up to the barista and see his gorgeous smile. oh god. “one large americano and watermelon shake for mark?” he asks, smiling at you. you look at his eyes and is easily captivated by the way it sparkles. he lets out a chuckle which makes you go back to your senses. “uh yeah mark, here’s the receipt” you stutter as you show him the receipt. he stamps it and you immediately bring the drinks and go outside to find mark. as he ends the call, you start telling him about your encounter with the cute barista. “oh god, i didn’t even check his pin for his name,” you tell him. “y/n, you can just go back and ask you know?” he tells you. “yeah, but i’m shy.”

day two.

“so, who’s this cute barista you’re crushing on?” jennie asks. “the guy with the most beautiful smile behind the counter.” you tell her as you look at him. “drinks for y/n!” he calls out, and you suddenly panic. “oh god, jennie what do i do?” “get our drinks,” she says obviously. “make sure to ask for his name,” she winks at you. you playfully smack her arm and walk towards the counter. “y/n?” there he goes with his killer smile again. you smile at him and gave him the receipt. “weren’t you mark yesterday?” he asks, and you look at him confusingly. he lets out a chuckle and you suddenly remember that it was mark’s name being called yesterday. “ah, it’s y/n. i’m y/n.” you laugh, and he asks, “so is mark your boyf-“ before he could finish what he was saying, he was called by the manager. “oh sorry, i have to go. see you again tomorrow y/n.” he says and gives you the most beautiful smile you have ever seen.

day three.

“mark, can we wait for jennie before we enter the café?” you ask him. “y/n, i am starving, can we just go?” “no because he thinks you’re my boyfriend. you can’t ruin this chance i have.” “i have a girlfriend!” he laughs at you. “but he doesn’t know that markie!” you whine again. where even is jennie? you thought to yourself. “you look so funny when you crush on someone,” he says as he pats your head, and it just so happens the cute barista suddenly shows up outside the café. what is he even doing outside the café? you both look at each other and he gives you a small wave, and you give him a smile. “hey!” jennie suddenly appears. “you’re late,” you tell her. you look back to where the barista was standing to see him nowhere to be found this time. “can we eat now? y/n didn’t want to enter because the barista thinks we are together,” they both laugh, and you roll your eyes at them. “you know if you just ask his name, he might give you his number too.” jennie tells you. “you are quite obvious with this little crush going on.” mark adds. “we aren’t eating here, let’s go somewhere else,” you tell them as jennie laughs and mark whines.

day four.

you were planning to do advance readings for your class, so you decide to go to the café alone. there are three things you love about that café; the food, the ambience and the cute barista. you order the usual and find a table that is secluded. after a few minutes, you see a shadow going near you and it towers over your book. you look up at the person and saw the cute barista with your order. “i saw you studying so i decided to just give your order, i hope that’s fine with you.” he says as he places your drink and cake on the table. “thank you! that’s so kind of you,” you smile at him. “is that anatomy you’re studying?” he asks, and you give him a nod. “college starts next week and i want to come to class prepared, you know?” you chuckle. “i have anatomy notes, i can share them with you.” “i would love that.” “i’ll bring them tomorrow if you plan on dropping by that is,” he says with a hopeful glint in his eyes. “sure! i plan on studying here for the rest of the days anyway” “okay, see you tomorrow y/n” he says as he leaves. you forgot to ask for his name once again.

day five.

as soon as you enter the café, you see the cute barista standing behind the counter. he gives you a smile and you smile back. you do your usual café routine, and just like yesterday, he gives your order personally. “here are the notes as promised,” he hands out notebooks to you. “thank you! are you perhaps going to take med too?” you ask, and he flashes you with a smile again. his smile is so contagious, you catch yourself smiling whenever he does. “yup! my college starts next week as well.” “oh, won’t you need your notes?” “i’ll just get it back when you’re done using it, no worries,” he tells you. “thank you so much uh- what’s-“ before you could even ask for his name, a girl suddenly pats his shoulder. “reina!!” he says as he hugs her. “you’re finally back!” he tells her, and you could feel your heart dropping. “y/n, i have to go. see you tomorrow?” he asks, and you just give him a smile.

day six.

you enter the café again, alone. you look at the counter, but don’t see the beautiful barista. before you order from the counter, you go to your usual table first to place your things. as you go near, you see the cute barista sitting on your table with your usual drink. “hi, good afternoon!” you greet him. “hey! you finally came, i was waiting for you,” he smiles at you. you felt your cheeks going red, but you remind yourself that he might have a girlfriend already– reina might be his girlfriend. “what are you doing here?” you ask him, and he frowns. “oh, don’t take that in a wrong way, i would love to hang out with you, but don’t you have a shift or something?” you add. he laughs at your flustered self. “i was working here just to cover for my cousin, but she’s back, so i’m free i guess.” cousin? could it be- “see, that’s my cousin over there,” he points to the girl at the counter just like he could read your mind. “oh, reina is your cousin.” you said with a hint of relief. he raises one of his eyebrows, and asks, “did you think we were-“ before he could even continue, you start getting flustered again and he laughs. “you’re cute, you know.” he pats your head, but immediately stops when your phone rings. you look at your phone and saw mark’s name appear. “one sec,” you tell him. you stood up to go outside the house, but before you could even start walking, mark’s girlfriend talks, “hey y/n! i’m sorry i accidentally pressed your name, i was supposed to call mark’s mom. sorry for bothering you!” “ah, it’s fine sab. goodbye!” you say. you come back to your seat and look at the cute boy sitting in front of you. “so, you and mark?” he asks. “we aren’t together. oh god no, never. he has a girlfriend.” you say, all flustered. “you’re cute, have I mentioned that?” you did, you mentally answer. “i was just teasing. i saw mark with his girlfriend come by here during my shifts.” you let out a sigh of relief, but as you check the time, you remember that you have plans with jennie in 5 minutes. “i am so sorry but i have to go!” you tell him as you hurriedly pick up your things. “no worries, goodbye y/n! stay safe!”

day seven.

it’s the last day of summer, so you go back to the café to give the beautiful barista his notes back. it has been seven days, yet you still don’t know his name. you promised yourself that you will ask him this time but to your dismay, he was nowhere to be found in the café. you went up to reina and ask her, “hey! i was wondering if you know where your cousin is?” “he has plans with his family today! come back tomorrow, i’m sure he will drop by,” she tells you and you give her a thank you and left. does the world really hate you? doesn’t it want you to have a love life? is this their way on telling you to just give it up and start anew during college?

first day of college.

“first day of college!” jennie screams. “i’m so nervous and excited!” sab says. “can you believe we are now starting our journey to being doctors,” you tell them. “this feels surreal.” sab says. “what are your first classes?” “i have anatomy, and it starts in 30 minutes. i think i should go find the room. see you at lunch?” you tell them and they nod. you walk to your class and surprisingly you found it almost immediately. you sat at the chair at the middle of the room, and start opening your notes. as you were fixing your things, someone calls your name. “y/n! is that you?” it was the cute barista boy. “oh my god! we go to the same college and we have the same class?” you both laugh. “oh, here are your notebooks! i dropped by the café yesterday, but you weren’t there.” “ah, i’m sorry about that,” he says and you give him a smile. “oh, it’s no problem,” you tell him. you both stare at each other, and you find yourself getting lost in his eyes again until he starts to frown. “y/n, honestly, i am quite disappointed in you,” he tells you and you look at him confusingl. what is he talking about? “i put a note with my number on this notebook i gave you,” he pulls out the sticky note on his notebook, and showed it to you. you were shocked because you did not even notice the sticky note when you went through the notebooks. “i didn-“ he cut you off, “i figured you weren’t interested in me when you didn’t call for days,” he frowns. “i’m sorry, oh god, i didn’t see it.” you stutter. he pouts at you, and you panic. “i think you should make it up to me by going on a date with me,” he says, now giving you a smile. “what?” you say. “i mean, what? did I hear you correctly?” he nods and you can feel your cheeks blushing. is this really happening? you look at his eyes again and smile, “it’s a date then.” before he could reply, the professor arrives. “good morning everyone!” the professor greets, and the class greets back in unison. the boy beside you suddenly gives you a sticky note, you look at him then the sticky note. same café after our class today? you look back at him and nod. he gives you the most beautiful smile again, better than his past smiles if that was even possible. “my name is jaemin by the way.” he whispers, and you freeze. “you’re cute, you know?” he adds as he pats your head and lets out a chuckle before he focuses on the professor again with a smile on his face as you look all flustered.

#jaemin #nct jaemin #jaemin scenarios #jaemin au #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin smut #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct au #nct angst #nct smut #na jaemin scenarios #na jaemin fluff #jaemin blurb #nct jaemin scenarios #nct jaemin fluff #nct imagine #nct imagines #jaemin x reader #jaemin x y/n #jaemin x you #jaemin imagines #nct blurbs #jaemin blurbs #nct jaemin au #na jaemin #nct

[nettles-bo-bettles]

Two Plus Two Equals Five

Third Person POV: It had been three years since Marinette had moved to Gotham City to study design at Gotham Academy. As usual she went to one of her favorite coffee shops in Gotham so she could get some energy after pulling all nighters for the past month and just living off of coffee. After walking 6 blocks from her apartment she got to the coffee shop, Loca Mocha (Ty Sabs). She went inside and ordered her usual, a six shot latte with cream, whipped cream on top and salted caramel sauce drizzled across the top (idk if that would actually taste good but I don’t drink coffee so don’t mind me). She went to find a seat and was unsuccessful until she found a free table in the far back of the coffee shop, however, someone else was looking at the same table at the same time as her and they ended up bumping into each other while not paying attention and heading towards the same table.

“Sorry sorry, I’m insanely clumsy.”

“No it’s alright, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” “That makes two of us, I should’ve paid more attention. I’m Marinette by the way.”

“I should’ve paid more attention too. I’m Tim, it’s nice to meet you Marinette.”

“So I guess we both just had our eyes on the table huh?” “Yeah.”

“Should we just sit together then? There’s no other empty tables or seats.”

“That’d probably be easiest.”

“I have an order for a Marinette, six shot latte, with cream, whipped cream on top and salted caramel sauce drizzled on the top,” one of the baristas yelled. “I should go get that, I’ll be right back.”

‘She seems like an interesting person, I kind of want to get to know her’ Tim thought. Marinette came back to the table and sat down, Tim already had his coffee since he had ordered before Marinette came into the shop. Marinette was about to pull out her laptop to start working when Tim stopped her. She looked at him confused,

“I- I wanted to get to know you better before the both of us have to leave,” he said nervously.

“Oh, I supposed I understand that,” she said and put her laptop away.

“So, what are your hobbies?” Tim asked her.

“Well, I love designing. It's my passion and dream to be a designer and I’ve been doing it my whole life so I guess I could count that as a hobby. I also bake a lot, my parents are bakers so I’ve been taught by the pros,” she said, the last part with a joking tone.

“Those are a lot more interesting than my hobbies, all I do with my life is work and then work some more, get some coffee and sleep once a month,” Tim said jokingly.

“I’m sure you have more hobbies than that but okay.”

They continued to learn more about each other and got more and more interested in the other every second. Customers came and went and eventually it was 1pm. The tables were full again and another customer walked in, this time, however, Marinette and Tim watched them order. Marinette just happened to recognize the customer as Lê Chiến Kim. Kim ordered his drink and went to look for a table when someone caught his eye, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

“Long time no see Mari-bitch.” Kim said to her, clearly trying to offend her though it didn’t work.

“Nice to see you too, Kim.” Marinette replied calmly.

“Still sending death threats to Lila?” Kim asked snottily.

“Still a sheep following around a liar with no evidence?” Marinette said smoothly.

“You still don’t believe Lila huh? You know she’s friends with the Waynes right? Plus she’s dating the youngest Wayne son and she could get 15 lawsuits put on you with a few words. All she’d have to do is tell her boyfriend that you sent her death threats and bullied her in highschool.” Kim said stupidly in front of the second youngest Wayne son.

“Hi, Kim right?” Tim said stepping in.

“Yeah? And what’s it to ya?” Kim replied in a rude tone.

“I’m Tim Drake, and I sure as hell think I’d know if my younger brother was dating a lying bitch. Damian is smart enough to avoid people like that and this ‘Lila’ person seems like a golddigger, my brother also isn’t the type to cheat on his boyfriend.” Tim said, glaring at Kim.

“What do you mean? You just said your last name is Drake, that’s not Wayne you dumbass.” Kim said, thinking he knows everything.

“The thing is Bruce Wayne, my adoptive father, has adopted all of his kids except for Damian and we all kept our last names. Damian is the only biological child of Bruce that we know of and he most definitely is not dating anyone named Lila, he’s dating Jonathan Kent. I would, however, like to know the last name of this Lila.” Tim said.

“Oh Lila’s name is Lila Rossi, I’m sure you’d love to meet her, you see she knows tons of celebrities and she even taught MDC how to design, though, MDC did steal some of Lila’s designs.” Kim said, completely oblivious to the fact that he just landed Liar Grossi- oops, I meant Lila Rossi about seventeen lawsuits.

“Thank you for the name, now if you don’t mind I’d prefer if you just leave.” Tim said.

Kim left and forgot about the coffee he ordered.

“So...what was that about?” Tim asked.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story…” Marinette responded.

“I’m willing to listen to any story coming from you no matter how long it is,” Tim said without thinking. (The amount of cheesiness in that sentence is the reason why it pained my soul to write that)

Marinette laughed, “Whatever you say.”

And so we start from the beginning of Sophomore year at Francois Dupont Highschool. (Idgaf if it’s a middle school)

“Well when I was in my freshman year of high school I had a pretty good year, I was class president, I was friends with everyone, had a crush on a guy I thought was nice, and thought that nobody would ever believe someone they just met over myself. Then, Sophomore year came around and there was an exchange student, Lila Rossi. She claimed to be best friends with one of Paris’s heroes, Ladybug, and my best friend was obsessed with Ladybug so she automatically became friends with Lila. I, however, knew that Lila wasn’t friends with Ladybug because I myself was friends with her and knew that she would never become friends with someone that easily. I confronted Lila about her Lies about Ladybug and a few other famous people but she ended up threatening me. She told me that she would take all my friends and make everyone hate me, she almost succeeded completely but I still have my friends Chloe, Nino, Kagami and Luka. She told everyone that I had bullied her and that I had sent her death threats, though, she had no proof and everyone believed her because she said she knew celebrities which meant she would always tell the truth to them, they didn’t need proof. They ended up bullying me to teach me a lesson in their words, one time I almost died, they beat me up and stabbed me in the stomach multiple times resulting in me going into a coma for months. Lila also told my biological parents these lies and sadly they believed all of them, when I tried to explain it to them they just ignored me and became distant with me, they ended up disowning me and my honorary uncle adopted me with his wife, I applied for a few colleges after I graduated and even though I was accepted to harvard something just called me to go to gotham academy instead so I did, I don’t regret it to this day, I’ve learned a lot more about design and myself than I would have learned at harvard or any other school. Plus, I found Loca Mocha and like- this place has amazing coffee, I could never say no to it.”

“Wow, you weren’t lying, that is a really long story. But it was an interesting one and one that made me want to murder whoever this Lila person is.”

They talked for a while more just talking about ways to murder Lila for just being a bitch. The one they decided on was to torture her and make her wish she were dead and then give her a very slow and painful death and then chop up her limbs, throw them into a volcano, collect her ashes from said volcano and place them in a separate galaxy. Eventually it was 7pm and they didn’t even realize the amount of time that had passed until one of the baristas asked them to leave as the coffee shop was closing.

“Um Ma’am? Sir? We’re closing up soon, I hate that I have to interrupt but it would probably be easiest if you guys left before we start closing up.” The barista said.

“Oh, sorry I guess we didn’t realize what time it is, we’ll get going now.” Marinette and Tim said at the same time.

The two collected their belongings and walked out of the coffee shop hand-in-hand. Eventually they got to a crossing point between Wayne Manor and Marinette’s apartment so they had to part ways, not before exchanging phone numbers of course. Tim told her to text him immediately once she got home so he knew that she got home safe.

Marinette got home about five minutes later and texted Tim once she unlocked her apartment door. She made herself some ramen for dinner and binge-watched Haikyuu. She was in the middle of watching Tadashi yell at Tsukishima about being more excited about winning when Tim texted her saying that he was home and asking if she wanted to meet at Loca Mocha again the next day. She, of course, said yes and told him she’d see him the next day. A few hours later, while Marinette was working on one of her projects at two in the morning, Tim texted her asking if she was awake. She texted him back once she saw it and asked him why he was awake.

Coffee Addict: I could say the same to you -_-

Workaholic: Well I have a reason to be awake, I’m working on design projects. What’s your excuse?

Coffee Addict: Insomnia. Work. Patrol. Coffee.

Coffee Addict: Ignore the patrol part.

Workaholic: You’re a coffee addicted insomniac obsessed with getting their work done and you’re a hero?

Coffee Addict: ...you just met me yesterday you shouldn’t be able to know me that well.

Workaholic: I’m good at reading people.

Coffee Addict: Damn

Workaholic: You should be asleep, go to sleep

Coffee Addict: I have patrol tonight though. Workaholic: Ask someone to cover for you because someone you met at a coffee shop who also happens to be a sleep deprived insomniac is telling you to sleep.

Coffee Addict: Fine but only if you agree to go to sleep too.

Workaholic: Okay :)

Coffee Addict: I got my sister to cover for patrol for me.

Workaholic: Now sleep then

Coffee Addict: Fineeeeeeeee

After a few minutes of back and forth telling each other to sleep they both said goodnight and went to bed.

~Time skip brought to you by who gives a shit~

Marinette woke up at 8am as usual and got ready to meet Tim. She wore her hair down and wavy, put on some light makeup, some black doc marten combat boots, light wash ripped jean shorts and a black crop top. Once she was ready she left to go to Loca Mocha. Time woke up at 7:30 am, a little later than usual. He got up and styled his hair, put on some jeans, a plain t-shirt tucked into his jeans, and white converse hightops. He went downstairs to get some breakfast from Alfred when everyone looked at him weirdly.

“Are you guys okay... “ Tim asked.

“Tim- what are you wearing? Why are you dressed up casually instead of your usual work suit? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY DON’T YOU HAVE COFFEE? WHY DO YOU LOOK AWAKE AND SANE?!?!” Jason asked, starting to think that he was drugged.

“Oh well yesterday I met this girl at Loca Mocha and I spent the entire day getting to know her and last night at two in the morning I asked if she was awake and she made me go to sleep after I asked Cass to cover for me on patrol. I’m meeting with her again today.” Tim explained in a hurry to get to the coffee shop.

“You landed a girl who can get you to sleep- how the hell did that happen?” Jason asked.

“I’m still not completely sure myself. But I’m glad I met her.” Tim replied with a smile.

Everyone else in the room just stared at Tim expectantly.

“What?”

“When do we get to meet her???”

“UM- NEVER THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!”

“Oh yes I can and I will.” Tim said and walked out of the manor.

When Tim got to the coffee shop he waited for Marinette, at 8:15 she texted him and told him she was on her way, Tim realized he might have gotten there a little earlier than he had to. He waited for a while knowing she would probably get there around 8:30. By the time it was 8:40 he started to get worried but stayed put just in case, once it was 9:00 he couldn’t help it, he got up and started walking towards her apartment, once he got there he looked for her and asked people if they saw anyone who looked like her until he turned his head to an alleyway and was horrified at what he saw…

Hehehehehehe I’ve always wanted to do that. I swear I never knew how fun it could be. Anyways that’s it for the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it.

Page count: I’m too lazy to check.

Day Posted: 04/23/21

Word Count: 2380

#lettuce #timari #two plus two equals five #first chapter #L e t t u c e #Lettuce supremacy

[fandomkru]

Thanks for the tag @travllingbunny! 😘

1. First Ship:

Ok i know I'll probably get hate for this but my first ever ship was Dramione (Draco & Hermione from Harry Potter). I know what you'll all say "mari that's toxic. He bullied her." so just to be clear.. i don’t ship the book!dramione or the movies!dramione bc well it's non existent. I ship the fanfic!dramione and more specifically the fics were there is an actual character growth for Malfoy, where he owns up to his mistakes, understands what he did and what he believed was wrong, let go of any prejudice and changed.

2. First OTP:

That would probably be Captain Swan (Emma Swan & Killian Jones from OUAT). I remember being obsessed with it when i first watched it. I think Thuke (Thalia and Luke from Percy Jackson) are really close too.

3. Current favourite Ship:

Easy. Kanej (Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa from Shadow and Bone) all the way baby!! Love them. Nothing else to say lol

4. Your Ship since the first minute:

Jeresa (James Valdez and Teresa Mendoza from Queen of the South). I decided to watch this show due to the UTTER disappointment that the final season of the 100 was. Never intended to ship anything or become obsessed. But the BOOM. Ep 1x02 happens and I'm obsessed with the ship bc they just looked at each other. Sold then and there lol

5. Ships you wish had been Endgame:

BELLARKE (Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin from the 100). Do i need to say more? But you know what? In my mind they are. Season 7 WHO?

6. Ship you wish was Canon:

Probably Quakerider (Daisy and Robbie from Agents of Shield). The chemistry was up there as well as the dynamic. Power couple to the core. Could have had a lot of potential if they went with it

Also Tandy and Turone from Cloak and Dagger. The show was cancelled before we got a chance to see where their relationship was going😒

7. Ship that Most of the Fandom hates but you love:

Book!Malina (Malyen Oretsev & Alina Starkov from Shadow and Bone). Ok guys i just finished the sab trilogy and someone please explain to me why the fandom hated Mal so much in the books.. i don’t get it. He was there for alina every step of the way, their relationship was really well written. Am i missing sth here? Someone please explain it to me..

8. You don't even watch the show but you ship it:

JJ & Kie from Outer Banks. I am thinking of watching it bc of them lol

9. Ship that you wish had a different storyline:

Hmmm.. probably Tiva (Tony & Ziva from NCIS). I know the actress wanted to leave after the 10th season and that kind of killed the storyline they were planning but they should have handed it better.. both hers and Tony's departure

Also Skyward (Daisy & Ward from Agents of Shield). They made ward hydra at the last minute just to tie in with the Winter Soldier movie when there was no clues throughout the season indicating that he was indeed hydra. I don't like ward anymore but i wish the character and ship was handled better

10. Favourite Ship(s) that are Endgame:

Ok let's see.. Darcy and Lizzie from Pride and Prejudice, Captain Swan from OUAT, Deckerstar from Lucifer, Jeresa from QOTS, Daisy and Daniel from Agents of Shield, Thorton and Margaret from North and South, Kat and Justin from Spinning Out and I'm probably forgetting some

Tagging for anyone who wants to do it @marvelousfandoms @la-ermitana @sometimesrosy @stan-of-many @countrysong-x and anyone else who wants to do it!

#i was tagged #tag game #number 9 was hard.. #I'll probably change it at some point but nothing came to mind except those two #the writing wasn't bad but the shipper in me wasn't content lol

[americasass81]

Make Her Mine - Chapter Two

Tony Stark x Reader Warnings: Dark!Tony, mostly just mild swearing and stalker behavior here.

A/N:- Also re-editing this chapter from original female character to reader. 

Word count: 2000 approx.

Letting yourself into your room, you locked the door behind you before heading towards the bedroom.  Sitting on the bed, your accountant's brain began to work through your survival plan for the next seven days.  You knew a week wasn't a long time, but since credit cards could be tracked, you knew that cash was the only safe way to stay under the radar and you were now woefully low on that.  You also figured your sister might be the first port of call for tracking you down, so that left your best friend.

Calling Sabrina, you gave her a very brief account of your predicament and that if she was willing to help, she really only had until about four o'clock to get what was needed from your apartment.  Being better to you than your own sister, you told her where to find your getaway bag and also asked for some basic workout gear, figuring you didn't need anything fancy to outrun an Avenger.  Then you told her where to find you and the name you were using before hanging up to wait for her arrival.

One hour later, a text message told you she was outside your room, and upon opening the door you checked to make sure no one else was there before you pulled her inside and locked the door again.

Dropping your bags, she pulled you in for a warm hug before stepping back to give you the once over.  "Angel, what exactly is going on and why do you look like crap?" she asked, taking your hand and leading you to the nearest couch.

Sighing heavily as you sat down, you stared at your hands before speaking.  "Do you remember the reservation I had Monday night for La Scala?"

"Is that the Italian place you've been going on about for the last three months?"

"Yes.  Well it turns out that when they were switching over reservation books, they lost my booking and the best they could offer me was a seat at the bar until a table became available.  Obviously I was fine with that, until I drew the attention of Tony Stark and had to turn down his offer to join him."

"Wait, are you telling me you said no to THE Tony Stark?  The same Tony Stark who probably doesn't even know the meaning of that word."

"Exactly, and whether or not he knows the meaning of it, he definitely doesn't like hearing it.  Apparently he's had Happy Hogan trying to find me since then, which was made kinda redundant when my boss sent me to deliver reports to one of his meetings this morning."

"Well damn, Y/F/N, that must have been some shock.  What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, it's fine.  I mean you have a right to know, since I may or may not have put you in harm's way."

"You what now?"

"Look, I think it's safe to say that Tony Stark is not the hero he appears to be and I think I may have pissed him off a lot more than I should have."

"Y/F/N, what did you do?"

"I barely gave him any information when he questioned me before the meeting, and when he had me threatened and brought to his office afterwards, I said I'd report him to Human Resources."

"Wow, you never do things by half, do you?  But that doesn't explain why you're hiding out here or why you think I might be in danger?"

Refusing to look at your best friend, you took some deep breaths before continuing.  "Well because when a meeting with Steve Rogers interrupted us, he told me to go back to work and then wait for Happy to drive me to his place afterwards.  Obviously I didn't do that and I don't know if he's willing to let this go.  If not, I don't know who he's willing to hurt to get to me."

"Fuck Y/F/N, all this because his ego couldn't handle the word no."

"I know right.  I'm so sorry for putting you in the middle of all this, but I didn't know who else to trust.  I love my sister, but you and I both know she'd sell me out in a heartbeat."

Wrapping her arms around you once more, Sabrina held you tight as she thought through the situation.  "You know Y/F/N, this situation might not be as dire as you think.  Considering who my husband is, do we really believe that Tony Stark is willing to go up against New York's mob boss just to get to you?"

"I don't know, Sab, and that's the worst part.  I don't know what he's capable of.  I mean Happy threatened to have me arrested for stealing money from the company if I didn't go to his office.  You really think Sebastian can protect you?"

"Oh Angel, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt Seb won't let anything bad happen to me.  But what about you?  Should we see what he can do for you?"

"No Sabrina, you've done more than enough.  Hopefully I'm just overreacting and this will all blow over.  If not, then I have my getaway bag and more than enough cash to start over.  Your husband would be proud of me." you finish with a chuckle, hoping to ease the tension lines you could see appearing on her forehead.

The next hour was spent with a bottle of wine and some girly chit-chat until Sebastian texted Sabrina to let her know he was in the lobby.  Giving your best friend a smile and a hug, you said goodbye and decided to head for a relaxing bath, not knowing the shitstorm that was about to kick off at Stark Industries.

*************

No pun intended, but upon arriving at your desk ten minutes before clocking off time, Happy was not a happy camper.  After finding your desk empty, he made enquiries from Melinda who informed him that you weren't feeling well and had gone home early.  Deciding that it was best not to upset Tony unless absolutely necessary, he brought up your employee file and got a hold of your address.  Getting in the car and driving to your place, he was pissed to discover that it was locked tight and no one had seen you all day.  Swallowing his anger, he headed off to Tony's to relay this development and see if he really was serious about pursuing you.

Upon walking in, Tony told him to take you to the living room and he'd be right out.  However, on entering said room and seeing only Happy, Tony was full of questions.  "Happy, would you care to tell me what is wrong with this picture?"

"I know Tony, I can't explain it.  From what I've been told, shortly after you sent her back to work, she complained about not feeling well and no one has seen her since."

"No one?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Nobody just disappears without a trace.  F.R.I.D.A.Y. I want a trace put on all credit cards in the name of Stark Industries employee 2474789, back timed to two months ago.  I want to know where she's been and where she might go."

"Tony, don't you think all this might be a bit excessive over someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you?"

"You know I was kinda resigned to not knowing who she was, but my god, when she walked into that meeting room and I discovered that I've technically been supporting her for three years.  I can't explain it, Happy but she's awoken something in me.  F.R.I.D.A.Y. what's the status of recent activity?"

"Nothing Boss.  The last credit card purchase was Tuesday at the cafe in the lobby of Stark Industries.  Mint flavored hot chocolate with whipped cream, around lunch time."

"Damn, how does one disappear and go over twenty-four hours without financial support?"

"Um Tony, I don't want to state the obvious, but do you think she might be using cash?"

"Cash?  Seriously Happy, people still do that?"

"It would explain how she's getting by, while staying off F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s radar."

"Ingenious.  My little girl's a clever one, it seems.  Thanks Happy, but I think I can handle her from here.  You can show yourself out?  F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up any footage you can for Y/F/N's apartment for the last forty-eight hours." Tony ordered, as he headed towards his lab.

Sitting at his workstation, Tony combed through all available footage from your apartment, starting from half an hour before he knew you left work.  Noticing nothing out of the ordinary, he was prepared to try some other approach when he saw a young woman exit your building carrying what appeared to be two black duffel bags.  Watching her deposit them into a black SUV, he waited to see if her face became visible.

"BINGO!  F.R.I.D.A.Y. freeze frame 17a and run facial recognition on that individual."

"Facial recognition scan identifies the young lady as Sabrina Stan.  Wife of Sebastian Stan.  Current head of the New York mob."

"New York mob connections, huh?  Well that could explain her ability to fly under the radar.  Still, let's try this without starting a war.  F.R.I.D.A.Y. I think it's time I stopped fooling around, run Miss Y/L/N through facial recognition and let me know the second you find her."

"Will do boss."  Fifteen minutes later, he heard a beep and looked up from his desk to see footage of you walking through the lobby of the famous Waldorf Astoria towards the elevators.

"Well I'll be damned, either my girl has expensive taste or her mob connections go deeper than a passing acquaintance.  F.R.I.D.A.Y. do a complete, deep data scan.  Cross reference everything to do with Y/F/N Y/L/N, the Waldorf Astoria and the New York Mob.  I need to know if I have to mobilize the Avengers."

Two hours later, having torn himself away from his pet project to play Iron-Man, Tony barely gave himself enough time to rehouse his nanoparticles armor before harassing his A.I.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y. do you have the results of that search?"

"Indeed Boss.  It appears the connection is nothing more than an acquaintance.  Mrs. Stan and Miss Y/L/N were both part of the same book club and writing group a year and a half ago.  It seems a friendship developed out of it."

Though it bugged him, all the bother you were putting him to, this new information coupled with you appearing to be somewhat of an introvert, gave him renewed confidence in his plan.  Having so far found you utterly fascinating, he knew that once he had you, he would make sure you never said no to him again.

[konaizumi]

Gen Y ep 11 thoughts/reaction

- yeees, make thanuwayu canon!

- i literally just want wayu to be happy

- one of my favorite things about this show is how mature the characters feel, like a majority of the conflicts are caused by the characters being confused or unsure of their feelings and trying to take time to work through them and this unintentionally hurts other characters, but this feels more genuine than a bunch of drama created by stupid misunderstandings and characters being petty, and yes, communication would help a lot of these problems, but it never feels like the writers are just adding things in for no other reason than ‘drama’

- anyways, back to thanuwayu and that beautiful hug and wayu’s precious smile

- that brief flash of thanu’s smile, looking so genuinely happy to have wayu in his arms

- poor phai tho, I don’t want any of my babies getting hurt

- anybody else freak out for a second when he took off his shirt in the mirror and worry that he had gotten the tattoo then were immediately relieved when his back was still bare? just me?

- i tend to prefer college shows rather than high school ones, but my favorite thing about high school thai bls is how accurately they portray high school boys, just boys goofing off, showing their sexy hips

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already, i liked you a lot better when your genre was fluff

- watching pok being all flirty and douchy just seems out of character

- 15 min in and still no markkit

- i’m glad the whole blackmailing plot has now been fully explained, but seeing sandee suddenly smirking and being an asshole is giving me the same feelings as when poktong got weirdly aggressive last ep (by feelings i mean confusion and dislike)

- i wanted phai to end up with sandee bc sandee was so cute and sweet but i don’t know if i want that anymore

- also i forgive tong a little bit for what he did (getting pok beat up not switching the test scores) knowing that he had good(ish) intentions, he still fucked up tho and did a bad thing

- i’m calling it now, either next ep or next season, right when poktong is finally making progress, pok will find out about the switched scores and bam, drama

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already

- i know this scene is supposed to be romantic and all but i can’t stop cringing at the placement of the kisses, like next to the mouth but not quite the cheek? the chin??

- back to my preferred high school babies

- i can’t stop laughing at how they all got the coming of age parted bangs hairstyle to symbolize that they’re in college now

- all the high school babies look good except for pok who now has too much forehead, not that his style before was great but it was better

- thanu is such boyfriend material

- that phaiwayu hug hurts my soul, wayu looks so happy, i just want them both to be happy and not get hurt

- Finally!! 25 min in and finally we get markkit

- i want more of this thanu, thanu with a smile and joking around with his friends

- I really want jiw’s butterfly shirt

- jack and jew kidknapping mark like that was prob my favorite moment of the whole episode, that gif is now my header

- alright, padbok is back, still waiting for their story, but i kinda hope their resolution waits till season 2 bc i want character development for padbok and there’s already so much that needs to happen next ep that i think his story would only be rushed and somewhat glossed over

- i know some people hate padbok, and i also find him annoying, but ever since they dropped the idea of padbok x sab in an earlier ep, all i want is padbok redemption ark

- i guess thanu is somehow going to feature in the poktong story

- i absolutely love sab and klui, they are my favorites of the high school babies

- i guess i can’t call them high school babies anymore

- jackkoh, just admit your feelings for each other already

- aww, markkitwayu choosing custody over the babies, mark wants to be a good senior so badly

- soon as kit said they hadn’t picked a medicine beau, i was like, it’s going to be tong, and i was right, it’s ittpai all over again, but whether it’s better or worse remains to be seen

- kit really does attract the beau’s doesn’t he

- don’t worry mark, you’re much prettier than pok

- pls give me more kitwayu bonding and helping each other heal from pha

- damn kit, you were so close to getting phai to spill

- yes phai, make kit move in with mark

- i absolutely need to know what kit’s test is for phai’s suitors

- i would just like to admire dun’s ability to look so completely lovestruck, like his gaze is just so full of love and it’s so sweet

- that kiss was so cute, i’m sorry i ever doubted you thanuwayu

- that’s pha’s car isn’t it? he’s watching them? I thought he would come back this ep and cause some drama, but he didn’t so he has to come back next ep right?

- i like that they’ve softened poktong bc i like them much better as friends to lovers rather than enemies to lovers

- honestly, their story has a lot of potential but something about it is just really not working well for me and i think its the weird aggression bc they don’t annoy me when their being sweet and smiling. I think if pok had more of a bad boy vibe originally it would’ve been better bc the aggression wouldn’t seem so ooc and the conflict would feel a bit more natural

- their story also has a ton of parallels to ittpai (my gear your gown), so im interested how it’s going to go bc i did like ittpai despite the narrative issues of that show

- poktong: *doing whatever tf they’re doing*

  mark: tf did i just step in

- i really appreciate thanu just saying straight out that he has feelings for wayu, i know he struggled with it, but i like him coming to this point that’s like yes, he feels an attraction to phai, he feels drawn to him and he’s seen their poential future, but right now he has actual, solid feelings for wayu built up from their interactions over months

- what he has with phai isn’t real--it could be real, if he went down that path and choose to get closer to phai, but right now his feelings for wayu are real, so that’s what he’s choosing

- him saying they should never meet again was a little tho, spare my poor baby phai at least a little bit

- i get a dose of serotonin every time i see kit wearing mark’s gear

- the markkit is lacking this ep but they are trying to make up for it with all this good good thanuwayu content

- i’m torn between wanting and not wanting thanu to tell wayu about phai bc it will hurt wayu if he does but it’s gonna hurt more later on when wayu finds out on his own

- I can’t tell if wayu has a suspicion about phai, like he def senses there’s another person but I can’t tell if he knows it’s phai

- okay but thanuwayu are so cute and sweet together

- pls let my babies kiss, i couldn’t appreciate their first kiss bc i didn’t ship them then and wayu thought it was pha so pls let them have a do over

- you know what, i like thanuwayu having visions like thanuphai. I can’t quite tell if that was the writers’ intention, but i hope it is bc that would imply that thanuphai aren’t actually soulmates and that what they see is just a potential future, like they could be happy together, but there are also other people who they can be happy with

- i’m not super crazy about this whole ‘let’s rewrite my memories of pha with memories of you’ bc that doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to move on from pha or to start a new relationship but whatever makes wayu happy i guess

- however i do like how it ties into the whole ‘no predetermined fate’ thing and shows how life is shaped by choices and chance

- pls let my babies kiss tho

- hey so i am not liking this preview of the next ep

- anyways, so i’m liking how their handling the thanuwayuphai thing so far, but it is going to be bad next ep as im assuming the envelope that has phai’s picture is probably phai returning the picture to cut ties but obvi wayu is going to find out about their relationship

- still not sure how i feel about poktong, its better than last ep which i did not like and def shows more potential, but i think we’re gonna have to wait and see, don’t like the direction they’re taking with sandee tho

- also whoops, this got really long but i have a lot of feelings about this show

- fingers crossed for actual markkit content next ep

#gen y #gen y the series #gen y ep 11 #gen y spoliers #gen y ep 11 spoilers #konaizumi reactions

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 16 + 17.12.20 lb

16.12.20

riddhima having completely opposite reaction to me, on discovering ki iss shakal ke do do bande ghoom rahein hain dharti pe.

hubs praising wifey’s intellect (he has a real low bar huh) in attached note and saying ki yeh birthday kamaaaaaaaal ka hoga.

meanwhile kabir has come back to investigate the trap door. bhai you keep saying “policewaala hoon, policewaala hoon” but i don’t see you actually going to work. “policewaala hoon” is this show’s “main AAAAADIIIINAAAAAGIN hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!” to which literally all of us just respond, haan toh???? nahi matlab, sach mein.......... TOH??? hum kya hi karein iss bohut hi obvious yet useless information ke saath?

A+ hide and seek game going on here.

lmaooooooo iski shakal dekho, on being interrogated. he’s suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a shady fuck.

oh boy she said the word that shouldn’t ever be said to tellywood MLs..... “warna”....... it only leads to one thing:

yup. this fuckery.

“tumhe har baat kyun jaanni hoti hai??? nahi bataana.” lmao well, when you put it like that......

some ainvayi ka blah blah meant to deter her but only makes her more determined. coz hubs knows wifey veryyyyyyyyyy well by now.

also he just said that the raaz is “khoobsoorat”. so this has a positive result ultimately i think?

andddd he dropped a new aag metaphor: “aag dekhne mein khoobsoorat hai lekin usmein haath daalna akalmandi ka kaam nahi hai.” (remember when he told her as vansh wrt the whole ragini thing ki “aag mein haath daalogi toh aag ko kuch nahi hota, lekin tumhare haath jal jaayenge.”)

also lmao kab karti hai riddhima akalmandi ka kaam????? yes MO is literally just “is it questionable and are people telling me RIDDHIMA NOOOOOO? THEN RIDDHIMA YESSSSSSSSS.”

so of course she’s like fuck you i wanna know at alllll costs.

“yeh raaz tumhe ek aisi duniya mein le jayega riddhima jahaan se laut ke aana tumhare liye impossible hai.” ....... so exactly like being stuck in this house/family????? pfttttt, warn her with something she HASN’T been dealing with everyday for the past 6 months.

some more dumb mysterious metaphors and he finally leaves. 

NOW WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING HER FROM OUTSIDE?????? OUFF THIS FUCKING HOUSE IS FILLED WITH CREEPS AND PERVERTS.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIRROR KE PEECHE THERE’S ONE ITTTU SA SAFE  MADE SPECIALLY JUST TO HOLD ONE (1) THIN PIECE OF PAPER. AMAZING.

OH?

OHHHH??????

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

meanwhile idhar someone badeeeeeee safaai se maarofied the photo. ok you were spying on her from outside and knew that there was a compartment behind the mirror. BUT HOW DID YOU CRACK THE PASSWORD ON FIRST TRY??????????? IDHAR MERE KO APNA HI GMAIL TUMBLR INSTA PASSWORD 3 BAAR ENTER KARNE HOTE HAIN BEFORE IT LETS ME IN.

“happy birthday, Dollar Biwi!” mmmmhmmm got you all wet under the shower in black, Happy Birthday to all of us, indeed!!!!!

“i hope tum hamesha aise hi girti raho aur main pakadta rahoon!” snort. vihaan babu, permanantly yahaan ghar basaane ka plan banaa liya hai kya???? not even pretending anymore that he’s not in this mess for saath janam.

lmao she’s like fuck you i just wanna know the secret.

smarmy fuck is like hmmmmmm, birthday ke din bataaa hi doon kya? fucking tease.

he’s like ok fine, in the evening, at the party you’ll get a gift that’ll be your answer.

she’s like if you break your promise and don’t give me the answer?

“toh koi aur de dega.” this fuckerrrrrrrrrrr. he playing 3d chess, he fully knows what’s happening outside with the picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she’s like pls no one else knows this secret, i have hidden it verrrrrrrrrrrry safely; and he’s like, if there’s one thing i learnt from vansh, it’s that the walls of VR mansion are neverrrrrrr safe. kabhi bhi kuchhhhhhhh bhi ho sakta hai.

Chehra Appreciation Break.

she runs out and........... the photo is goneeeeeeeee.

riddhima constantly wanting to beat up/murder vihaan is such a Mood lmao.

anyway he beat her with the powers of Logic. and Handsomeness. mostly Logic tho.

so if he didn’t do it................. she concludes ki obviously it was kabir.

ok but what if it was ANGRE, who’s milofied with boss to give bhaabiji an excellent birthday surprise???? he too knows howwwwwww much sis loves to do jasoosi and play these games. MAN JUST GIMME MY V/ANGRE BROTP BACKKKKKKKKKK.

anyway, birthday surprise has now turned into a headache and hubs like oh nooooooo, this is not what i wanted???? i wanted her to be happpppy and enjoy herselffffff.

girl back at bappa’s sharan. coz where else to go, really?

oh shit dadi’s here ranting and raving about knowing the truth. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

dadi has decided to make herself the birthday candle that riddhima has to blow out.

man, the matriarch of the house is throwing kerosene all over herself and everyone’s just standing around watching, instead of intervening in any useful way. everyone just want that raisinghania $$$$$$$ huh?

oh. dream tha. this bloody show and its never-ending dream sequences.

waise bhi iss set pe roz 4-5 cake aate hi honge, toh unko bas stack kar liya, ho gaya kaam. production mein se extra budget nahi nikaalna pada iske liye.

V has specialllllllllllll gift for Dollar Biwi. yeh hua na gifttttttt. yisssssss gimme that USD, sonnnnnnn. exchange rate 73 touch kar gaya hai and the way it’s going........ it’s gonna reach even higher soon.

aslkjdaslkjdlaskjdlkaslksajd riddhima and kabir’s reactions. they’re honestly so fucking done with this asshole.

ishani like since when you have such a sense of humour, bhai????? arre tha hamesha se hi, tum logon ne mauka hi kab diya hai bande ko joke maarne ka? har waqt kuch na kuch kalesh chalta rehta hai iss ghar mein jo bechaare ko sametna hota hai.

kabir adding to anxiety with this birthday will be so special blah blah blah.

and now the cake R cut just exploded with red liquid that ishani injected into it. birthday ke din hi tum sabhi manhooson ko bachchi pe bhadaas nikaalni hai???? ek din toh baksh do bechaari ko.

LOL DADI KNOWS IT’S ISHANI AND SHE’S JUST LIKE

sab ka cake khaana khilaana blah blah.

hubs takes a moment to actually wish her sincerely with mushy eyes and soft voice. sweet.

ouff one moreeeeee surprise. aaj shaam birthday party. organized by kabir. greaaaaaat. 

riddhima’s face = mine when i too am forced into social events that i have less than zero interest in attending.

lmaooooooooooooo kabir called him “vansh bhai” and the slowwwwww turn V did to look at him like ‘bitch what you say??????’

snark snark snark.

kabir rolling out some tray and......... the episode ends. god this is so fucking boring so much buildup to a bloody partyyyyyyyyyyy.  just get it the fuck over with my god!!!!!!!

———————————————————————

17.12.20

K’s presented her with a buncha envelopes to choose the theme of the party or some such shit and riddhima’s like the fucker had put the photo in one of these for sureeeeeee.

Chehra(s) Appreciation Break

anyway she picked one envelope and there’s a letter from K saying i have the secret you were hiding, it’ll be out in the party, blah blah.

interesting thing is that this letter is written in hindi. the letter from vansh was hindi transliterated in english. hmmmmmm. i mean, lol, this has no larger bearing on the plot, just an observation i’m making and wondering about the show’s choices.

lmao he did this lil eyebrow thing that just neeeeeeded to be giffed. i love this face so much!

hubs is sensing something is realllllllllll wrong and taking charge of the conversation and declares party ka theme colour is gold, and that riddhima is gonna look hot in black and gold. uh....... ok?

everyone disperses and V is warning K ki if you fuck this party up in anyyyyyyyyy way that makes the birthday girl upset..............

vishal is making sooooooooo many amazing gif-worthy faces today. about time i make a set on him.

riddhima turning K’s room uthal-puthal to find the photo and obviously failsssss.

and he’s here with a bouquet of balloons and OMG BURSTING THEM ONE BY ONE LIKE THIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lotsaaaaaaaa threatening blah blah and riddhima is trying to reason with him and............ god i’m so bored.

“tum na riddhima bohut hi ajeeb type ki ladki ho. jis kaam ke liye mana kiya jaata hai tum EXACTLY wohi karti ho!!!!” hahahahahaha both her boytoys should meet up over a drink about this very special characteristic of her’s. they’ll find they have more in common than they think.

lmao literally noone else can make a party horn and the birthday song seem this hilariously threatening. i love him so muchhhhh.

behen is now crying in front of vansh’s photu. you know, to spice things up a lil.

saw some random photo frame sitting there, and just opened it and happened to find a bank transfer reciept from vansh to vihaan. for 5 crore. and on the 8th of december, 2017. ok but my question is what about the frame said ki open this and find exactly what you’re looking for behind the picture???????

storming off to find V and............

lo ji aaj ke girrne ka karyakram shuru.

lmao the contrast in reactions.

“kismat tumhe har pal, har kadam mere aur kareeb laa rahi hai, riddhima.”

he’s being very cute in this scene. he genuinely does want her to have a good birthday, it seems.

unffffffffff. aise na mujhe tum dekho................

lmao she’s like you are the singlemost biggest fucking reason of all my stress, birthday or otherwise. wtf vansh give you 5 crore for????/ he’s like patience lil birdy, the answers are your birthday present. it’ll come in good time.

she’s yelling at him for being so chill when kabir is about to expose them and he’s just putting it all on her saying you’re the one going down for it anyway. and maybe if you’d told me about that mysterious letter earlier, i coulda helped you. SO BLOOOOODY ANNOYING HE IS.

anyway he’s like don’t worry i’ll handle it. but you have to give me apni zindagi ki ek khoobsoorat shaam. which............... gross. didn’t have to frame it like THAT.

she went to slap him but ofc he intercepted. ugh he’s so massive how the fuck is someone to even subdue him????? god i hate men.

anyway she told him he’s disgustaaaaaang and won’t take his help and he’s like yeah but it’s not just about you, there are manyyyyyy lives at stake here.

HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE FOR PLAYING WITH HER THIS WAY. THERE’S NO WAY SHE WINS HERE IN HIS EYES. IF SHE DOESN’T TAKE HIS HELP, THAT MEANS SHE HOLDS HER EGO AND SELF RESPECT OVER THE FAMILY’S SAFETY. IF SHE DOES GIVE UP HER SELF RESPECT TO SAVE THE FAMILY, HE’S JUST GONNA USE IT TO THROW ACCUSATIONS AT HER CHARACTER. FUCK IT’S JUST SUCH A HORRIBLE, BAD FAITH EXPERIMENT. I HATE HIM. AND SINCE WE KNOW ALREADY THAT SHE’S GONNA AGREE FOR THE DATE OR WHATEVER, I SWEAR TO GOD IF HE SHAMES HER FOR THAT LATER, IMMA CLIMB INTO THE SCREEN AND CASTRATE HIM WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE.

the signal for the yes to the offer is a........ “flying dance” during the party. which sounds as fucking ridiculous as.......... everything else in this fucking show, i suppose.

LMAO SHE IMITATED THE LIL SMUG EXPRESSION HE MADE IN SUCH A CUTE/FUNNY WAY. WHY THIS SHOW DOESN’T LET HELLY ALSO BE MORE EXPRESSIVE WITH HER FACE IN A CUTE WAY???? SHE LITERALLY HAS A DISNEY PRINCESS FACE AND ALL THESE FUCKERS MAKE HER DO IS CRY AND SCREAM AND BE WORRIED.

what a fucking simp for his wife. i love it.

askdjlksjdlkasjdlksajldkjlkdjlkj there’s a watermark on the mumbai stock footage. this show gives nooooooo fucks about quality at all.

party time. and the lights have gone out.

someone messing with the electronic equipment in the worsttttttttttt fucking way, by putting kerosene on the floor and setting a fuse alight??????? like????? just cut all the wires instead of causing a fullll fucking house fire like this?????????

lmao ishani is like lights ko gaye itna time ho gaya, yeh zaroor riddhima ki kismat ka koi ishaara hai. sis you need to chill with the savage. ek din toh chhod do usko.

ok they’re really hot today. really fucking hot.

lmao she’s smiling but chabaa chabaa ke saying ki i’ll never say yes to your shady idea.

kabir walks up to her, gives her flowers, AND ACTUALLY THREATENED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF V’S FACE. THE WAY V’S FACE CHANGED IN SECONDS YOU GUYS................

coldly impassive.....

...... to YOU’RE REALLY TRYING TO RUIN MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY WHEN I EXPLICITLY WARNED YOU NOT TO?????????

..... to OH HE GON’ DIE TONIGHT.

.......... to silently giving reassuring look ki he’ll handle this.

that fuse is stillllllllllllll burning. at the fucking speed of paint drying on a rainy day.

speech timeeeeeeeee by kabir. and he has a video too. lorddddd.

V still cheekily offering his services, and she’s like bitch i did my own intezaam already. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. kerosene aur fuse waala stupidass plan iska hi tha. should have guessed from the level of sheeeeeer dumbness that it was her and no one else.

lmao he’s like ok but this was too good an opportunity for me, so i counter-attacked YOUR counter-attack. that wasn’t kerosene. i switched it out for blue paani. OH GOD RIDDHIMA DUMBASS DID YOU NOT EVEN SMELL THE FLUID TO CHECK WHAT IT WAS??????????????

“kahaani kuch bhi ho, important yeh hai ki uska climax kya hota hai. aur iss kahaani ka climax tumhare saamne hai, riddhima.”

bitch yehi toh dikkat hai, ki abhi tak koiiiiiiiiii climaxes nahi milen hain issko. na vansh se, na vihaan se. what’s the use of all this thopda and ambidexterous haath if there’s no climaxes resulting from them? waste fellow. get working on delivering those climaxes PRONTO, sir.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[lilisouless]

Ruin and Rising has it´s problems.

The whole "Mal is an amplifier" is a big issue, not because it doesn't make sense, but because it should have been brought up earlier instead of dragged on near the end for the sake of the plot twist.

It would had been good ,having at least half the book wondering the moral issues of killing him, what would be the diference on killing him and hunting the animals, how Mal fells about it, it would have been a nice chance but it was kind of wasted and it felt like it only justified Mal´s reason to exist (which was not really a given the rest of the book)

Also, it would have worked in favor of the romantic subplot, finally a conflict that does make sense and doesn't make the characters unlikeable.

Another thing: let´s give Sergei a big standing ovation for becoming my least favorite character in the whole grishaverse. Congratulations!

Despite all this, i´ll gain the hate of many, many people, but i´ll say it: is still the best book in the trilogy. I´ll take all of the previous things over the stupid and forced teenage romantic drama on the second one and whatever the hell was the first one.

There is more develoment here, more things happening , hell Alina´s lack of a personality is actually kind of a plot point here. There are a little more fleshed out scenes on side characters, ex: the part when everyone is talking about Baghra is an actually example of good exposition without making it feel unatural.

Alina is probably at her best here, she is not amazing by any means , nor groundbreaking, interesting , but she is fine .Fine is way more that i would give SaB or even SaS Alina , so please don't push it. Is clear Leigh didn't want to write with her anymore by that point so this was her farewell.I like that her morality is questioned, i can undestand if she is anyone´s favorite character , after all: she is writen as an audience stand in first and character last, but if i talk about the grishaverse to someone , i wouldn't keep Alina as a highlight,but again, she is fine ,tolerable and even sympathetic. It completely fails at making her tridimentional or a grey character but it does suceed at making people root for her.

Also some dynamics were nice, Zoya´s banther with Harshaw ,Alina and Nikolai is pretty good here not gonna lie. I actually think in alternate universe where Zoya and Mal didn't exist (and therefore the shippers wouldn't bash them to dead) i would actually be on board of the ship. In fact, my problem with the ship is how Alina never loved Nik that way and unrrequided relationships/the losing spare of the love triangle , are kind of a huge pet peeve for me.If Alina had romantic feelings for Nikolai and had choosen him, i would have gladly supported the desition.

Speaking of romance, a lot of momments were quite tender. I stand for what i said earlier: Mal and Alina´s romance really didn't had to exist, but still have actually sweet interactions since the reviled book 1, Genya and David had only one but wasn't it charming? (although the kiss was a little awkward)

For the ending and Alina´s fate, i don't have a veredict yet, i´ll have to sleep on it, so i won't say it here. since i am not sure. The only thing i´ll say: i hate ressurection in an universe where is not common, so you can imagine that i did not like this plot point. As the ending itself my feelings are tooo mixed up, like i said; i have yet to decide what i think of it since any of my inmediate feelings are interrumped with a "but"

But overall, i actually enjoyed Ruin and Rising quite a lot and from the trilogy, is my favorite.I do like how i changed my mind about some characters and relationships.,some of them worked , some didn't but that´s pretty normal.

And there are things that i hope the show fix, specially the Mal amplifier problem, that one needs to be in check.

The good news is that the biggest issue i have with this book, the one thing i truly hated,that made me say "oh please" and "shut up" so many times actually already was fixed in the show so no problem there.

#reading ruin and rising #spoilers ruin and rising #spoilers shadow and bone #sab spoilers #malina #tagged so mutuals won't see it #or see it with a warning #genyavid #safyk