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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “John Wick” Part 3

Y/N left The Organization 3 years ago for the one reason strong enough to make her settle down: love. But after tragedy crushed her to pieces, she decided to leave The Joker and seek refuge with an old friend and mentor - John Wick. Needless to say The King of Gotham can’t accept his wife running away without a word, especially since he didn’t have a chance to tell her things she might want to hear.

Part 1 Part 2

The Joker listens at the bedroom’s door, impatient to have a conversation with you. It seems you are engaged into a fervent phone call with Winston and figured he shouldn’t interrupt.

“Please, anything you can discover would be a great help! U-hum… U-hum… Thank you,” and you hang up, which queues your husband to walk into the room.

You completely ignore him, scrolling through the numerous text messages you sent to your connections; several are already answering back and hopefully you can get some news soon. The more people are involved into the project, the more chances to find Kase and untangle the mystery of what happened to him after he was removed from the car.

“You left me there,” The Joker sneaks in and closes the door behind him. “Luckily we had Wick with us so he gave me a ride.”

No reaction. He takes a deep breath, trying to get your awareness.

“I didn’t sleep with Evelyn; sex wasn’t the reason why I kept visiting her. I know how that asshole made it sound and he was totally out of line!”

You quickly glance at him, busy replying to Ares since you feel you’re going to explode soon.

“The only skill I was interested in is the fact that she is an excellent painter and a popular art smuggler, OK?” J raises his voice, sort of annoyed you neglect to participate into his monologue. “I did not cheat, alright?” he approaches his wife. “First of all: I’m VERY picky! Second of all: why would I want a woman everyone else had?! I don’t like used toys. Third: nobody’s been polishing my gun as you tastefully addressed the issue! I have one Queen and I married her!!”

A little bit of doubt in your eyes and he utilizes the opportunity.

“You said you saw me going to her house? I did! The Bowery King asked if it was for the last 6 months? Yeah, I did! You know why?!”

At least now The Joker got your attention: you play it cool but he guesses you’re torn apart by his confession.

Many unfortunate events crammed in lately and hating the man you love made life infinitely more unbearable.

“Why…?” you barely muster the strength to inquire and he sees it as a possibility to mend a few broken pieces; although you can hide your emotions well, J can still read between the lines.

Maybe that’s why he answers with another question:

“Do you realize there are just three Monet paintings in circulation on the black market in the entire world? You admire his work and it took a lot of effort and a substantial fortune to acquire The Water Lily Pond painting. Evelyn Black helped with the transaction, then I had her make some modifications to the original masterpiece.”

You keep staring at The King of Gotham, uncertain about the stuff being tossed your way: is he lying or telling the truth?... In your line of work translating feelings is a huge part of the job; ultimately you had the best mentor to teach you the ropes when you started with the organization: none other than the legendary Baba Yaga. Despite his reputation and to your own amazement, John was one of the few hitmen with integrity and perfectly mastered the aptitude of not being a jerk. Such a rare gem… And blissfully unaware of it himself.

On the opposite end, The Joker is a jerk and flawlessly acquainted with his own “captivating” personality that made you fall in love with him anyway.

Also, doesn’t appear to be deceitful for the moment.

And you despise yourself even more for wanting to believe him.

“What… modifications?...” you throw him a bone and J is definitely not going to pass on the alternative of explaining his actions.

“I wanted to surprise you so I took advantage of Miss Black’s capabilities in the art field; I had her add small images to the authentic canvas: an evolution of you being pregnant, the nine frames culminating with a tenth: the new mother holding our son. Similar to a timeline,” he emphasize and you look intrigued, which might be a positive sign. “Needless to say it was tedious, difficult work, especially because she had to apply special pigments you can’t find at every corner of the street. Apparently you can’t mix old paint with contemporary shades, thus I had to order aged, special colors from Italy, Spain and France. That’s why I went to her place so often: I had to supervise the long process and make sure it turns out astonishing. Then…” and The Joker pauses,”…Kase was gone and I didn’t know what to do with my gift: bring it home or not? Would you have loved it? Would it make you sadder? I continued to drive to Evelyn’s and glare at the stupid painting for hours, undecided on what to do…”

J watches you bite on your cheek, then straightens his shoulders as you utter the words:

“… … … You ruined a genuine Monet?”

Your spouse might be a smooth talker when needed, yet he’s not wasting his versatility on this statement:

“I didn’t ruin it; I made it better!”

Silence from both parties. A good or bad omen? Hard to decipher the riddle with two individuals tangled into a relationship that somehow worked despite countless peculiarities meant to keep them apart.

“I have to talk to Jonathan,” you finally mutter and The Joker steps in front of you.

“Talk to me!”

“Unless you know the exact location of the suitcase full of gold coins he’s been safekeeping for me, I really have to speak to him. Or do you want to hammer the whole basement searching for it?”

Y/N walks out of the bedroom and J lingers inside, evesdropping on the conversation happening downstairs. He can’t understand the chat, but you are probably notifying John about the details your husband left out.

Might as well join the party, therefore The Clown pops up in the living room with a plea impossible to refuse:

“Hey Wick, can I stay here? I don’t care if you say no, I’m not going to leave.”

Your friend crosses his arms on his chest, focusing on the random topic:

“How could I deny such a polite request? Of course you can stay Mister Joker; my house is your house.”

You’re watching the free show unamused; usually it would make you smile…now you lack the depth for such connotations.

“Don’t get smart with me, Wick!” J growls and Jonathan pushes for a tiny, unnecessary quarrel.

“I’m not; although generally speaking, I fancy considering myself a smart guy.”

The Joker opens his mouth and you’re not in the mood for whatever the heck they’re initiating:

“I’m going to pump, then after you dig out the suitcase I’ll take half to the Bowery King,” you announce your plans to them.

“You can do that and rest; I’ll deliver the coins,” John immediately offers. “I can stop by Aurelio’s car shop and ask for his collaboration: he has a lot of associates, doesn’t hurt to get him involved. You have plenty of gold.”

“I have two more suitcases in the Continental’s safe and two more at The Penthouse. It doesn’t matter if it’s all gone as long as I can find my son.”

“I know gold coins are preferred; don’t forget we have a lot of money too,” J reckons with spite.

Is he reminding you or Jonathan?...

*************

Your husband spent the last hour in the garden, talking and texting with a lot of people; needless to mention he’s capitalizing on his network also. Winston disclosed Stonneberg’s contract is still opened, meaning the son of a bitch is out there; you have to scoop him before anybody else does.

“Y/N…” The Joker tiptoes in your quarters. “I thought you were taking a nap,” he huffs when he sees you at the edge of the bed.

You glare at the vial on the nightstand, sharing your idea for a future you wish will come true:

“I didn’t have my medicine in two days; I won’t take it anymore because if we get Kase back… I will nurse him. It all goes in the milk and I want to be able to feed my baby… Do you think his little heart is still beating?...” you sniffle and J is currently debating on a clever response since his mind is blank; one could deduce messing up is encoded in his DNA, but on such a huge scale… well, it gives new interpretations to the term even for him.

The grieving woman seeking reassurance for their loss is trying to make sense of the pointless occurrences that lead to Kase being an innocent victim and The Joker can’t render clarification: he has no clue why he asked her to marry him and why she said yes, it’s not that he’s husband material or a family man. Perhaps Y/N thought he could be… just enough to get by, that’s why she accepted his proposal.

Most women would have cringed at the concept. Most women. Not Y/N.

Most women would have flinched at the notion of having his baby. Most women. Not his wife.

Above all, she trusted J with their son and he treated the three weeks old like a trinket: didn’t drive him home because he had an important meeting, didn’t bother to assign escorting cars nor extra security. The King of Gotham took his child’s safety lightly and it definitely had severe consequences. Too late now to fix past mistakes... but he can attempt.

“You’ll be able to nurse him, OK?” he sits by you and hands over his cell. “Can you enter your phone number in here? Or am I not allowed to have the present digits?”

You’re hesitant and he slides the screen while you hold the gadget.

“Lemme help you,” The Joker sarcastically mumbles. “It should be the first on my list, right where the old number you canceled was.”

You exhale and fulfill his demand out of pure frustration when he squeezes in a second innocent petition.

“Chose my avatar.”

You grunt at his rubbish, scrolling through his folders for a picture anyway; J hopes the largest file will get your attention and that’s the point. How could Y/N miss it?!

Entitled “Baby”, the humongous cluster of pics contains 5,723 items. You open it quite absorbed by its size; what’s more puzzling is the collection depicting Kase’s ultrasounds, hundreds of frames with you being pregnant taken without you knowing: there’s a few when your ankles were so swollen you had to sleep with your feet up on 4 pillows, others with you munching on strange food you craved, more with you in the shower focused on your bump, a decent amount of couple selfies when you were sleeping and J had to immortalize the moment without waking you up and approximately 1,500 images of the newborn.

“You didn’t gross me out when you were pregnant,” The Joker reminds a teary Y/N. “Not sure why you would believe such aberration...” he pulls you on his knees and yanks the phone away, tossing it on the nightstand. “I would also like to underline I didn’t have an affair with Miss Black, alright?”

J lifts your chin up, forcing to look at him.

“Let’s put it this way: why would I fuck around with another woman when I have a wife at home that wants to kill me on a regular basis, hm? Where would the fun be? I mean, she didn’t pull the trigger yet but it’s exciting to hope she might. You know me: I’m a sucker for thrills!”

“Do I?”

“Huh?” J steals a kiss and you frown at his sleekness.

“Know you?”

“Yeah,” the green haired Clown acts composed while in fact his feathers are ruffled. Before you catch onto it he has to ultimately admit: “I’m sorry I didn’t drive the car… I should have…”

The Joker holds in his breath when your arms go around his neck very tight.

“I’m suffocating…” he grumbles. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to hug me or choke me to death,” J keeps on caressing your hair, prepared to block your attack in case you’re actually in killing mode.

This is the excitement he was speaking about: with you, one could never know until it’s a done deal.

“I bumped into Magnus at the Continental,” you give him a bit of space to inhale much needed air and The Joker is surprised at your revelation. “I had no idea about his scheme, otherwise I would have skinned him alive right on the hotel grounds! I wouldn’t have cared about the consequences!”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” J cuts you off and he can tell you’re getting mad; maybe you think he doesn’t give a damn but the reason is simple. “You would’ve been declared excommunicado for murder on neutral ground and I don’t want my wife to be the target of such punishment from the company she so proudly retired from. I need my partner!”

The King of Gotham touches your forehead with his as you whisper:

“I hate you!”

“Mmm, regarding this true love affirmation, I’m gonna need you to take a break from detesting me until we have Kase, then you can despise me full throttle again. Deal?” he extends the palm of his hand and you reluctantly shake it, not realizing you’re reacting to his nonsense. “Is that a smile?” J returns the favor with one of his creepy silver grins.

“No.”

“Liar,” he pecks your lips and can’t explain the weird feeling in his heart when you kiss him back.

*************

Jonathan enters the house and becomes suspicious after a few minutes: too much silence.

Omg! Did you and The Joker engaged into a brawling that ended up badly? Did you end each other?!

John frantically runs to the garage, nervous to see your car and J’s are still parked inside. Shit!

“Y/N?” he shouts, concerned about your fate; The Joker’s… irrelevant. Nobody in the garden, patio is empty also. Downstairs is deserted thus he rushes upstairs to your room. The door is not completely shut and he slowly pushes it, knocking.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

The first thing he notices are clothes scattered on the floor, then he halts his movement at the sight of Y/N and her husband dozing off on the bed sideways: the naked bodies are covered with a blanket, but he can tell you’re snuggled in J’s arms.

Jonathan steps backwards, guilty of invading his guests’ privacy; he certainly didn’t expect to intrude in such a manner and softly closes the door, grateful it’s not what he feared.

You and The Joker are so worn out the sound of your phones vibrating on the nightstand doesn’t wake you from the deep sleep. Your numerous contacts keep replying back to the text messages, the most important one showing up on his cell: one of the people J reached to is Evelyn Black and the two sentence conversation lights up the screen.

“Let me know if you see Stonnenberg.”

“He’s here.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #john wick imagine #john wick x reader #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker jared leto #mister j #Mistah J #Mr.J #dc #dcu

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bojasonwalker · 4 years

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CONFESSIONS

Ally Brooke Gets Real About Fifth Harmony, Almost Quitting ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and More in Memoir

By Nicholas Hautman

10 hours ago

In the eight years since she competed on The X Factor, Ally Brooke has done just about everything: toured the world with the multiplatinum girl group Fifth Harmony, launched a solo career and made it to the finale of Dancing With the Stars. And now, she has added “author” to her résumé.

In her memoir, Finding Your Harmony: Dream Big, Have Faith and Achieve More Than You Can Imagine (out Tuesday, October 13), the singer, 27, takes readers through her humble beginnings in a Mexican American family in San Antonio, Texas, to the moment her life changed forever when she auditioned for The X Factor in 2012 and was grouped with Camila Cabello, Normani, Lauren Jauregui and Dinah Jane.

“I’d always performed on my own, but suddenly I was in a group with a bunch of strangers. This was a lot to take in,” she writes in the book. “In one day, my plans had changed drastically. I had spent a decade already, since I was 9 years old, working my butt off to become a solo artist. It was what I’d wanted, the goal I’d pursued so passionately, the thing my parents had sacrificed so much of their lives for. Yet at the same time, I was grateful.”

Although Fifth Harmony did not win the Fox competition, they went on to have massive success in the music industry. In 2015, they released their debut album, Reflection, which included the hits “Boss” and “Worth It.” Their sophomore effort, 7/27, came the following year and spawned the biggest song of their career, “Work From Home.” But in December 2016, Cabello abruptly left the group on bad terms (something Brooke goes into little detail about in her memoir).

Fifth Harmony forged on, releasing their self-titled third album in 2017, but Brooke, Normani, Jauregui and Jane announced an indefinite hiatus in March 2018 to pursue solo projects. Soon after, Brooke began working on an album of her own, which is expected to be released in 2021, and competed on DWTS season 28 in 2019. She and her pro partner, Sasha Farber, finished in third place.

“My time on the show was so special,” she writes of the ABC series. “It moved me, it changed me in so many ways and it gave me memories I’ll cherish forever.”

Scroll down to read 10 revelations from Finding Your Harmony!

1 of 10

She’s Saving Herself for Marriage

For her 18th birthday, Brooke asked her parents for a purity ring with “True Love Waits” inscribed on it. “It symbolizes the choice I’ve made to save myself for marriage, a commitment I have maintained to this day, even in an industry where such values are not generally celebrated, and I’ve sometimes been judged and made fun of,” she writes. “But I’ve just held my head high and remained true to who I am and what I believe in.”

Credit: Matt Baron/Shutterstock

2 of 10

Her ‘X Factor’ Audition Was Heavily Edited

Brooke will never forget watching her first TV appearance — for all the wrong reasons. “After the music stopped, the camera cut to the judges, and Simon [Cowell] looked annoyed. Other judges made cringing faces at me. The producers cut to people in the audience laughing,” she recalls. “The camera cut back to me as I sang, but the magic was shattered. Simon appeared even more irritated. This version of events was nothing, and I mean nothing, like what I’d experienced in real life.”

Credit: Broadimage/Shutterstock

3 of 10

Khloé Kardashian Comforted Her After Grandpa’s Death

The cast and crew of The X Factor rallied around Brooke after her grandfather Paul died in the middle of season 2. “One of the hosts that season was Khloé Kardashian. Radiating warmth, she pulled me aside, giving me a big hug, and I cried in her arms,” she writes. “‘I am so sorry for your loss,’ she said. ‘I lost my dad [Robert Kardashian] when I was very young. Even to this day, it’s still hard. But I’m here for you, and I’m praying for you and your family. One thing that I’ll tell you is don’t let anybody tell you how to grieve. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to try to be happy, be happy. But you grieve in the way that you grieve.’”

Credit: Shutterstock (2)

4 of 10

She Fought for More Lines in Fifth Harmony Songs

After the girl group recorded their debut single, “Miss Movin’ On,” in 2013, Brooke was heartbroken to learn that only one of her lines made the final edit. “This was our first single — our first chance to show the world we were more than just a reality TV group — and I’d only been given one line on the bridge, and one ad lib,” she writes, noting that she eventually mustered up the courage to complain to their manager. The track ended up being a hit regardless, and Fifth Harmony won their first VMA for the music video.

Credit: Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock

5 of 10

She Once Gained 20 Pounds by Emotionally Eating

In the midst of Fifth Harmony’s 7/27 tour in 2016, Brooke struggled with her confidence, in part due to her unflattering wardrobe and negative comments from social media trolls. She writes that she turned to food as a “temporary escape,” but overeating caused her to gain 20 pounds. “I’m only five feet tall, so on my small frame, it was noticeable,” she remembers.

Credit: Mediapunch/Shutterstock

6 of 10

Fifth Harmony Were ‘Nervous’ to Perform After Cabello’s Exit

Brooke breezes past Cabello’s departure from Fifth Harmony, merely writing that the group “underwent a change” and “became a foursome” at the end of 2016. She does, however, admit that “there was some uncertainty about what we should do,” particularly for their first performance as a quartet at the 2017 People’s Choice Awards. “We were so nervous that we were jumping up and down, trying to get out the jitters,” she recalls.

Credit: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

7 of 10

She ‘Seldom’ Sees Her Former Groupmates

Brooke admits that keeping in touch with Normani, Jauregui and Jane is “hard” now that they each have solo careers. “We message one another or comment on one another’s social media, but we seldom have time to get together,” she writes. “But one thing is true: I will always have love for them. And who knows, maybe one day, we will be at a major worldwide event together as a group again.”

Credit: Rob Grabowski/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

8 of 10

Record Labels Weren’t Eager to Sign Her as a Solo Artist

Brooke had meetings with several fruitless — and uncomfortable — meetings with record labels in 2018 as she tried to score a solo deal, which Cabello, Normani, Jauregui and Jane had already done. “Of course I was happy for them, but it also upped my anxiety, reminding me how far behind I was, and that there was not an infinite number of labels to choose from.” Eventually, Atlantic Records signed her, and her debut single, “Low Key” featuring Tyga, came out in 2019.

Credit: Erik Pendzich/Shutterstock

9 of 10

She Was Reluctant to Do ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Just a few months after signing with Atlantic, Brooke got an offer to compete on DWTS season 27. Although she was a “huge fan” of the show, she writes that she felt “the timing wasn’t right” since her “solo music career was still in its infancy” and she wanted to keep her schedule open for promotional appearances. Months later, producers approached her again for season 28 — and she agreed after weeks of weighing her options and praying on it. “It was hard to believe that I was really going to be a contestant on a show that I had watched and loved for years,” she writes.

Credit: MediaPunch/Shutterstock

10 of 10

She Almost Quit ‘DWTS’ in Support of James Van Der Beek

During her time on the dance competition, Brooke developed a close bond with James Van Der Beek. “He became like a mentor to me. He is such an amazing soul,” she writes. During the semifinals, the Dawson’s Creek alum’s wife, Kimberly Van Der Beek, suffered a miscarriage while pregnant with their sixth child. That same week, he ended up in the bottom two against Brooke, who offered but failed to go home in his place. “The judges had chosen [to save] me over James, after what he’d gone through,” she recounts. “And now I feared that I’d be known as the girl who’d taken James Van Der Beek’s spot, right after he’d lost his child.” Later that night, an emotional Brooke went to the actor’s trailer to talk to him, and he encouraged her to stay in the competition, which she did.

Credit: Courtesy of Ally Brooke

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polyrolemodels · 7 years

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Shannon Ouellette

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

As a teenager I remember wishing it was like the Archie comics where Veronica and Betty dated Archie, Reggie and others. I felt frustrated that attempts at casual dating resulted in slut shaming and social isolation. My husband and I have been together for nearly 27 years and throughout my marriage I struggled with the constraints of monogamy. Four years ago I read Sex at Dawn by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan and realized the only reason I was monogamous was because I did not know that I could be anything else and still have a healthy and functioning relationship. Knowing that others had a different relationship model was revelatory. I initiated a conversation with my husband and he was as interested in the idea of opening up our relationship as I was.

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

I began with some vague idea of open marriage thinking that my relationships would be compartmentalized away from my rural community and my 10 year old and 22 year old children. But before dating I found the concept of polyamory and I knew this aligned with my values. I inherently understood I would not be able to treat people as disposable. I quickly understood my partner/s needed to have say in the relationship. My husband and I had a strong need for personal autonomy. This set the ground work for a non-hierarchal poly structure.

I currently have two relationships. My husband works in Africa and my life partner is in the UK, and I am in rural Canada so I consider my relationships both long distance. My husband is polyamorous and has a girlfriend who lives with us but who I am not sexually or romantically involved with. My husband’s girlfriend is polyamorous and she has a boyfriend who is also polyamorous. Our relationships are all “V’s”

My life partner does not identify as polyamorous. I am committed to him in much the same way as my husband. We have been together for 3.5 years and we met when he was working in Canada. He was recalled but for over two years we have made it work by travelling back and forth to see each other. Although we do not mingle finances, we do have our futures planned, and we make life decisions together. We also plan to live together when he is ready to retire and I am done raising my youngest child in 4 years. I did live with him in England for 4.5 months, taking my youngest child with me and homeschooling her. This really helped cement our relationship.

Within our polycule each person has personal autonomy. Individuals can choose to be open or closed to new relationships at their discretion. Each person has the right to structure their relationships with others as they see fit. I do not need my partners to practise the same poly as me. I do not need the people in my polycule to practise polyamory like me. I think that people have the right and responsibility to identify and ask for what they want and need, and that everything is negotiated. Relationships succeed or fail based on compatibility, and they shift, evolve and transition all the time. My poly is constantly evolving and as such I identify closely with Louisa Leontiades description of Relationship Fluidity, with its three principles of Inclusivity, Humanity, and Integrity.

3. What aspects of Polyamory do you excel at?

I have above average skills at navigating and managing relationships. I have a background in counselling and deep interest in psychology, relationship functioning, and self-improvement. I am a tenacious relationship problem solver and a constant researcher who not only is learning new techniques and skills, I pass them on. Although everyone in our polycule is always working hard, I have a natural aptitude and skill for communication, negotiating, and mediating. I have some insight into my own issues and I am always actively addressing them, so that I can be a better partner. I am a social creature who is exceptionally collaborative.

4. What aspects of polyamory do you struggle with?

Being polyamorous in a mono-normative world, is not always easy. I choose to live openly and the constant potential for rejection and blowback is hard on the heart. The absolute hardest part of being polyamorous has been the loss of relationship with our families and many of our friends. People who loved me and spent time with me suddenly believed I lacked judgement and they questioned my ability to be a good mother. Many disapproved so much they chose to end our relationships. Some of these relationships I grieve, others needed to be ended. Every relationship was impacted, altered, or changed and I had a great deal of emotional upheaval to process.

5. How do you address or overcome those struggles?

I had to learn to accept that a life lived differently is always going to challenge others, and I had to accept that was the path I was on. I had to choose between comfort and courage. I had to decide to unapologetically claim the life I wanted, or to return to spending my life pleasing others.

I had to really get comfortable with my choice to be polyamorous. I looked for mentors, and models of success, and I learned. My education continues. Books, blogs, podcasts, workshops, discussions groups, Facebook groups, a nearby poly community, have all been affirming. I also have a wonderful therapist who is a tremendous source of support.

6. In terms of risk/aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

I struggle with answering this question. It isn’t a matter of personal privacy. If I didn’t want to share I would just say none of your business, or I’d prefer not to discuss.

I am very comfortable sharing personal information, even of a sexual nature. I don’t mind disclosing that I personally get tested regularly, and that testing regime depends on the sexual behaviors of my partners, and their partners. It also depends on the willingness of everyone else to get tested, share test results, and talk openly and honestly about the activities and number of partners they have. I ask questions of my partners, about their sexual hygiene practises and those of their partners and I also ask that information be shared so everyone understands the level of sexual activity and fluid bonding that people are engaging in to make informed decisions. I think if we can’t talk openly about it, we lack the maturity to do it.

So what is my issue with this question? I would like to ask why this information is relevant. If one was doing a blog about First Nations role models, or gay role models, or female role models I don’t think this question would be asked or considered appropriate. I don’t like the message the presence of this question sends. Too often, polyamory is seen as all about the sex. Having us lead with information as poly role models with our sexual hygiene practices shifts the focus on to the sex.

As poly people I don’t think we have to lead with this information, to reassure ourselves or others that we are being “good” and “safe” polyamorous people. I think it feeds into mono-normative and sex negative cultures that would shame us and have us believe our relationship model is inherently risk prone to STI’s. I know poly people whose sexual hygiene practises are exceptional, requiring a strict and frequent testing regime, along with use of dental dams or condoms for all sexual contact, including oral sex and even digital penetration. I know people who identify as monogamous but have way more partners, and can’t be bothered with condoms.

7. What was the worst mistake you have ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that?

I think the worst mistake I made was not educating myself about the coming out process. As a result I came out before I felt certain and comfortable with my choice. I was defensive, insecure, and a bit apologetic. While I expected a range of reactions I did not expect the phenomenon of people being initially accepting and then rejecting, shortly thereafter. I lost most of my family and many friends. I think if I had been more confident people wouldn’t have felt comfortable venting their moral superiority. If I had been more empathetic, patient, and willing to let people be upset and gave more time to come to terms, some of these relationships may have been salvaged.

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like being polyamorous intersects with or affects these identities?

I do describe myself as a polyamorous woman. I am a wife to one man and a life partner to another. I am a mother to one teenaged daughter and one married daughter. I live in a conservative, rural community which has been surprisingly calm about our openly polyamorous relationship.

I am involved with, and I am passionate about participating in polyamorous communities and discussions. I am a writer. I am a university student who has a goal of becoming a therapist specializing in supporting polyamorous relationships. I definitely define myself as a feminist, because control over my body, my choices, and my sexuality are all incredibly important to me.

I am also Metis which is a mixture of European ancestry (Scottish, English, Irish, and French) along with First Nations. My tribe are the Cree. The aboriginal side of my ancestry historically had a much more accepting view of sexuality. Women definitely retained the ability to select partners with less social stigma both inside and outside of marriage. I am Canadian which means that I have greater legal protection than many polyamorous people around the world. (All this means is that polyamory is not a basis for my children to be removed from my home).

Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?

I am a partner in a business called Mindful Hedonism which will offer relationship coaching, along with polyamory education and awareness in our local area. We are just in the beginning stages of development. You can visit us at www.MindfulHedonism.ca Mindful Hedonism @ Facebook and Tumblr and you can follow us on Twitter @mindfulpleasure.

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

#polyamory #feminism #metis #first nations #cree

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