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secondtechnicianrimmer · 21 days

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Space Corp. Directive #1215225

For some ungodly reason, you fancy the second technician, but you'd be damned if you ever admitted it.

Pairing: Arnold Rimmer × (F) Reader

Warnings: Smut, baby! About 6k words of it too, so don’t say I don’t do anything for you

Chapter Fifteen: Legion

It was night. Or at least, you thought it was. It was impossible to tell. Legion had grown tired and sent you off to bed, so you’d all done as he said. Considering his great intellect, he’d probably adjusted the time on his ship to match Starbug’s.

Before you parted ways, you had caught Lister’s eye and silently tried to ask him if he had any sort of a plan. He had never been your leader but he was often the ideas man. But Lister had looked clueless, probably feeling just as overwhelmed and unsure as you.

This man, this creature, whatever he was, had been so cordial in his threats. He’d given and taken away so candidly, you were all still trying to wrap your head around the situation. Legion had known you all by name, he had fixed Lister’s infected appendix, he’d reached into Rimmer’s chest and… You couldn’t believe it.

It felt like you’d been pacing behind your closed door for hours now. When you finally worked up the courage to wrap your hand around the door handle, you still couldn’t bring yourself to open it

“Come on… Come on…”

You weren’t sure if you were allowed to leave. Legion hadn't said as much, but his meaning had been clear despite his soft tones and impassive mask. You weren’t getting out of here anytime soon.

One by one, he’d shown you all to your rooms. First Kryten, then Cat, Rimmer, and then you. Lister he had led around the corner, but you assumed he was as close by as the others.

The feeling that rushed through you as you parted ways with Rimmer couldn’t be described if you had a thousand years and all the universe’s poetry at your fingertips. His gaze followed you as Legion led you away, and you couldn’t tear your eyes from him. A silent agreement seemed to pass between you: a promise, a time and a place.

Everything had changed in an instant.

Already bewildered and struck dumb with fear, you had stopped breathing altogether when Legion reached into Rimmer’s chest and plucked his lightbee out of the air. He flickered and faded as his projection failed.

“Stop!” Feeling sick, you staggered forward and tried to grab his lightbee back. “Don’t hurt him, please. Just- Please give him back.”

But Legion had raised a calming hand to you.

“Do not worry.”

The idea was laughable but you did as you were told.

Legion turned the lightbee over in his hand, inspecting the little machine closely. Then to your horror, he opened the casing and began to pull out its wiring

Tears stinging your eyes, you would’ve launched yourself at Legion if Lister hadn’t held you back.

“You stupid bastard, I’ll- Stop, you’re hurting him!”

“Lefty…”

Lister squeezed your arms, trying to be reassuring, but he was watching Legion too, his eyes wide and fearful.

Legion roughly tugged out more wires, dropping them to the floor as if they were nothing. Then he replaced them with a thimble-sized unit, which rattled inside the hollow casing. Legion threw the lightbee back towards where Rimmer had been standing, then with a flash of light, he shimmered to life again.

Rimmer looked shocked but seemed unharmed. As he caught his breath, Legion explained the gift he’d given him, given you.

All through dinner, you had watched each other, hardly daring to believe what had happened. Despite everything, you hadn’t touched once, not when Legion explained that he’d upgraded Rimmer’s technology, not when you were sat opposite each other at dinner, your knees close under the table, not even when you said goodnight.

Slowly, steadily, you drew in a long breath through your nose, filling your lungs until you felt your racing heart begin to settle.

Six years. Six long years. And he was just down the hall. Worries and doubts shook off their wings, preparing to take flight, but never managed to get off the ground. It was too late, you were too in love. And he was just down the hall.

“Fuck.” You laughed, shaking your head in amazement. “He’s just down the hall.”

Still reeling, still unsure that this wasn’t all just some elaborate dream, you wrenched open the door before you could change your mind.

You found the right door and knocked quickly, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You were so full of adrenaline, it was starting to leave a coppery taste under your tongue.

Movement behind the door suddenly made you falter. You realised you had no idea what you were going to say. Your heart had jumped right up into your throat; you weren’t even sure you could talk.

The door opened. Rimmer stared at you, and you stared right back.

“Hi, I-”

You didn’t make it through another syllable.

Rimmer grabbed your hand, pulling you into the room and slamming the door shut behind you in one smooth movement. The next thing you knew, Rimmer had pressed you up against it, crowding your body with his.

“Hi,” he said, and then he was kissing you.

You didn’t have time to think, but maybe that was for the best. You could barely remember your own name anyway. All you knew was that Rimmer’s body felt warm and firm against yours, and that he was the clumsiest, daftest kisser you’d ever known, and you were so happy, you could’ve cried.

You kissed him, hard and desperate, your heart rising up and up and up when Rimmer groaned into your mouth, his hands sliding round to press against the small of your back, pulling you as close as possible.

You couldn’t believe this was real, that he was real. You couldn’t believe you finally, finally, got to touch him and feel him and smell him and taste him after all this time, after years of waiting.

Rimmer kissed you like a man starved, and in a way, he was. Three million years without any senses at all, you thought it might drive him mad to finally be able to feel and taste again, and it seemed you were right.

Your hands found their way into his lovely curly hair and he made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a whine. It was the most wonderful sound you’d ever heard, and when you pulled, hard, Rimmer let out a moan that reverberated right through you.

“So soft,” you murmured against his lips, twisting his hair around your fingers. “Didn’t think it would be this soft.”

“You feel…” He shook his head. “You feel incredible, I- I can’t believe…”

You felt Rimmer smiling against your mouth as he kissed you again, the most wonderful feeling you’d ever known.

You couldn’t compute what it felt like, to finally be able to touch him, to finally know how he felt under your fingertips. It had been maddening, all those years separated by an invisible barrier, and now you were so desperate to feel him, every bit of him, you didn’t even know where to start.

Rimmer seemed to have some ideas, though. His big hands slipped round your waist, his fingertips pressing into you hips as he gave you an experimental squeeze, and then he pushed back, pinning you against the door.

Your mouth fell open with a soft gasp, and he took the opportunity to run his tongue over yours. It was clumsy, just like the rest of Rimmer’s kisses. You wondered briefly if this was the first time he’d ever attempted kissing someone with tongue, but you didn’t care, it was so him.

Slipping your hands up to cradle his jaw, you pulled away ever-so-slightly, letting Rimmer catch his breath for a second.

You didn’t know anything about the technology Legion had passed onto him. You didn’t know if this was temporary, if it would still work if you managed to leave Legion’s ship. You didn’t know if the now archaic computers aboard Starbug and Red Dwarf would be able to keep up with the new data pouring into their systems.

Rimmer kissed you like his life depended on it. He touched you like he’d never get the chance again, like he was half afraid you might abruptly come to your senses and realise you didn’t want him after all, or he’d wake up alone in his quarters on Starbug.

Well, you couldn’t have that.

“I’m yours,” you whispered, brushing your thumb across his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

As you watched his hazel eyes slide shut, you felt the reins fall into your hands.

Grinning excitedly, you took him by the shoulders and span him around, so now Rimmer’s back was against the door. You kissed him hungrily, your hands back to that nice spot either side of his face, his body pressed so tight against yours, you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began.

Now that you were setting the pace, you pressed your tongue against his, trying again, showing him how to do it, and heard Rimmer let out a moan you didn’t think he was capable of.

Mouth still moving against yours, he murmured your name, a question, making sure that this was what you wanted, and you answered him with a groan, hands clutching at his waist, keeping him against you.

Then Rimmer tugged at the bottom of your shirt, trying to shimmy it up your body. It surprised you, and he must have sensed your hesitation because he broke away.

“Sorry,” Rimmer shook his head, his lips pink and kiss-bruised. “Sorry, love, I should’ve-”

“Arnie?”

“Yes?”

“Get on the bed.”

“Okay.”

With a grin, you pulled him around so now his back was to the bed. You pushed Rimmer down onto the mattress, flashing him a bright smile as you straddled his hips.

You groaned with relief into each other’s mouths as you sank down in his lap, starved of each other even after a few moments apart.

“Can I..?” Intrigued, you tugged at the front of his new, bright blue jacket. “Can I take this off? How does it work?”

“Erm…”

Looking equally puzzled, Rimmer popped a few of the buttons and found they gave way.

Your bottom lip caught between your teeth with excitement, you helped him the rest of the way until Rimmer had to sit up to shrug the jacket off his broad shoulders. Almost as soon as it slid off the ends of his arms, it shimmered away to nothing.

“I think I can…” Rimmer shook his head. “I can control it. Who cares just- Please don’t stop kissing me.”

Oh, you’d never been so happy to oblige.

Together, you shifted so that Rimmer’s back was resting against the headboard, and you could stay comfortably in his lap. You barely parted the whole time, just so desperate to feel each other while you had the chance, before the clock struck midnight and the spell was broken.

Beneath his sapphire blue jacket was your favourite part of his stupid uniform, the soft short-sleeved shirt that always looked so ridiculously good on him, and the braces, a gift just for you.

You slipped your fingers round them and tugged Rimmer closer as you rolled your hips against his, swallowing his desperate moan with a kiss. You couldn’t seem to get close enough, it was never, ever enough.

“Can I?”

You tugged at his braces again, and Rimmer nodded so quickly, you almost clunked heads.

“Darling, you can do whatever you want to me.”

Laughing softly, you kissed him quickly, then started to pull them down over his shoulders.

“Is that so?”

Your fingers tangled in the hem of his shirt and yanked it up, over his pale stomach and beyond, until Rimmer had to raise his arms so you could pull it over his head.

“I might hold you to that, Arn.”

“Please.”

Immediately, you pressed your palms to his chest, your heart beating hard and fast enough for the both of you. His lovely body had been on your mind since the psi-moon. You didn’t think it should be possible for someone as dorky and ridiculous as Rimmer to look so stupidly gorgeous, but here he was.

Running your fingers along the planes of his collarbones, then over his broad shoulders and round again, you smiled to yourself, enjoying the way he looked up at you in awe, his big hazel eyes shining in the low light.

You dragged your hands down over his strong chest before finally meeting his gaze again.

“You’re so beautiful,” you said softly. “Did you know that?”

You could feel Rimmer frowning as you went to kiss him again but you ignored him. You didn’t feel like arguing. There weren’t enough words to reassure him that you thought he was the most handsome man you’d ever met, but you could show him.

Distracted by his mouth, you didn’t notice Rimmer had tugged your shirt up until it got caught under your arms. Beaming at each other, you tossed your hands above your head and let Rimmer drag it the rest of the way.

Almost immediately, he began to press needy, desperate kisses across your chest, his hands shaking at your hips.

You slipped your fingers into his hair again, grazing your nails against his scalp as Rimmer’s mouth sank lower and lower, and his hands trailed up your back.

Somehow, he managed to get your bra unhooked on the first go.

“Wow.” You laughed softly as you shrugged it off your shoulders. “Didn’t realise you knew how to d-”

You were cut off by your own moan. As soon as you’d thrown your bra onto the floor, Rimmer’s lips found your neck again, then trailed down to your chest, leaving behind a series of deep purple marks you both knew would get noticed immediately. You didn’t mind, everyone already knew you were his.

The thought was pushed from your head as Rimmer’s mouth grew closer to where you wanted him. He groaned, low and rumbling, as he pressed his face between your breasts. Biting down hard on your lip, you tried to press your thighs together to ease the growing ache between them, but it was impossible still sitting in Rimmer’s lap.

“This is a dream…” he murmured, turning his face and pressing a soft kiss to your sternum. “I’m going to wake up soon and this will all be…”

You smiled fondly. Even now, even when he had you in his lap, his hands tight on your hips, his mouth wherever he wanted it, Rimmer couldn’t believe something good could happen to him.

“Arn?”

Rimmer tilted his head back to look up at you, and you couldn’t resist pressing a kiss underneath his jaw.

“I’m here.”

You kissed his cheek softly.

“I’m yours.”

The tip of his nose.

“But just in case this is a dream,” You smiled. “I think we should make the most of it. Don’t you?”

You shivered despite the heat between you as he let his slow, almost longing gaze slip over you. Then Rimmer smiled.

“I do.”

You exhaled softly, curling your fingers into his hair, about to reply, when Rimmer’s hands tightened on your hips. He pulled you closer, muttering something under his breath that you didn’t quite catch, and then all coherent thoughts left your head as Rimmer’s tongue flicked over your nipple, flattened, before sucking it into his mouth.

“O-Ohhh, fuck…”

You let your head fall back, your spine arching into his touch as Rimmer grazed his teeth over you, then his tongue again, round and round, his soft moans making your hips rock. You tried to grind down on him but it wasn’t enough. You let out an embarrassingly needy sound and saw Rimmer’s eyebrows jump in surprise.

He let his hands smooth down your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, then slipped them over your arse, squeezing you between his long fingers and helping you rock against him.

It lit a fire in you, and suddenly you couldn’t think why you were letting him take the lead.

With your hand beneath his chin, you pulled Rimmer’s head up and slammed your lips against his, all tenderness forgotten for the moment as your tongue slipped past his lips, kissing him so deeply, he saw stars.

You felt Rimmer moan against your mouth, deep and low and awed. His ungainly hands flapped at your waist before finding a home again, tugging your hips forward until you were grinding against him through his stupid velvet trousers that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

You couldn’t contain your soft sound of approval as you wriggled your hips, trying to find the right angle to finally get some friction. Rimmer pulled back to look at you, his eyes wide, and you thought he must’ve been able to feel your warmth even though all the clothes that still separated you.

For a moment, you let yourself wonder if this was the first time he’d ever been with someone who actually really liked him, and if any of this was new to him. You wondered if anyone had ever kissed him like they adored him, whispered to him that he was perfect, shown him with their body that he was doing well, wanted him so badly, they couldn’t express it with words.

You kissed his cheek, then his neck, the scar on his jaw, murmuring that you loved him against his skin, and Rimmer shook his head, eyes closing for a moment, as if in disbelief.

“You’re beautiful…” he murmured.

Rimmer kissed you, again and again and again, his hips jumping under yours when you rocked in just the right way.

“Arn…”

You moaned, grip tightening on his broad shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful.”

He kept saying it, whispering the words against your skin as he unzipped the front of your trousers and tried to wriggle them down.

Smiling at his eagerness, you pulled his belt from his hips, perhaps a little more roughly than necessary. Rimmer didn’t seem to mind. In fact he looked up at you like you were heaven-sent.

You took advantage of the newly exposed skin, sucking a mark just below his jaw, his whines making you roll your hips against his again, harder now.

“You sound so good, Rimmer,” you groaned, right by his ear, and he clutched at your hips so tight, you knew you were going to have a bruise.

He was stronger in his hard light form. Practically indestructible, Kryten had said. The thought made the pulsing between your legs even worse. Then you frowned.

“Wait, can I..?”

You wrapped your fingers around his chin and tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck to you. There wasn’t a mark on him.

“Oh, you’re kidding.” You laughed softly. “You’re so tough now I can’t even give you a love bite?”

“I guess I’ll have to give them for the both of us.”

“I guess so.”

You lifted off of him, making you both groan, missing the contact already. Both your hands scrambled at the waistband of his trousers, then yours, then his stupid boxers.

You almost whined at the sight of them straining against the obscene outline of his hard cock. Your mouth was practically watering as you helped him ease his boxers down his toned thighs, as Rimmer hissed slightly at the pressure it put on him. His gasp of relief as he was finally freed made you clench.

“Such a good boy,” you whispered and pressed a soft kiss just below his ear.

Rimmer was panting now, the muscles in his jaw flexing and his face flushed as he looked up at you intently.

You smiled down at him before your lips found his again, kissing sloppily and messily, teeth clashing, all tongues and desperate moans and pawing hands. His inexperience was a perfect match for your lack of practice; it was nice to figure things out together.

“Hang on, love,” you murmured, laughing softly when he grabbed at your hips, trying to keep you close. “Let’s change things round a bit.”

You settled onto your back, pulling Rimmer on top of you. Keeping your eyes locked on his, you reached between you and slipped your hand around him.

Immediately, Rimmer folded in the middle, like an old garden chair. He pressed his face into your neck, moaning noisily enough to make you blush.

“Always knew you’d be loud,” you grinned against his skin, begrudgingly kissing the spot where you’d hoped you’d left a dark bruise. “They’ll hear us if you keep that up.”

“Then stop- Ohhn…”

Rimmer bucked his hips into your hand, so sore and aching that the slightest touch was enough to get him close.

“If you don’t want me to make any bloody noise, you’re going the wrong way about it.”

“Just hurry up, Arn. Please, m’so wet.”

Cheeks burning, you met his gaze to find Rimmer looking at you, stupefied. It had been a long time since you’d said anything like that to someone, and by the looks of things, Rimmer had never heard anything like it.

One thing you’d always liked about him, when push came to shove, Rimmer always did as he was told.

“Can I..? Can I just, er- Ah!” Rimmer grinned as you lifted your hips for him, allowing him to slide your underwear down over your thighs. “Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome, dear.”

Rimmer paused, taking a moment to enjoy how soaked your underwear was, all because of him, before he threw them onto the floor with the rest of your clothes.

What little confidence he had seemed to fly right out of the window then. You could see uncertainty flash across his face, his eyebrows pulled together as his mind reeled.

You slipped your fingers over the backs of his hands, planted at either side of your shoulders, then grazed your fingers up his strong arms, up and up and up until you could slip them over his shoulders.

You pulled him closer, guiding him into the right position with a gentle smile.

“You ready, hot stuff?” you asked, hoping to bring back his lovely smile.

It did the trick. Rimmer’s grin could’ve put the sun to shame as he slipped his big hand under your thigh and carefully held it against his hip.

You could feel him shaking as he lined himself up. He kept exhaling softly, like he still couldn't believe that this was real, that you weren’t just a wonderful daydream anymore.

Slipping your hands into his hair again, you pulled him down to kiss you, hoping to distract him, but you had to break away when Rimmer finally eased into you. You moaned into each other’s mouths, your nose crammed against his jaw as you finally felt him fill you up.

It had been so long for both of you. You’d been waiting, even though you didn’t know what for. Now you knew, you both did, you’d been waiting for each other.

You swore under your breath at the delicious stretch, your fingernails cutting into Rimmer’s shoulders. The hand not supporting his weight clung to your thigh, keeping your hips at a good angle, clutching you tightly.

Rimmer groaned as he sank lower. You felt unreal; he could barely think straight. He huffed, gasping for breath as you rolled your hips, taking him even deeper, and now you were so close, Rimmer could feel your heart hammering in your chest. He’d never felt so alive.

“Is this okay?” he gasped out, his face all screwed up with concentration. “Does it feel alright? Are you okay?”

“I’m great, Arn. You’re perfect.” You laughed softly and pulled him down for another sweet kiss. “But if you don’t fuck me soon, I am going to go mental.”

“Aye aye, Lieutenant.”

Rimmer’s eyes shone. When he smiled, he put the moons and stars to shame. Then he was kissing you again, slow and delicate, searching and sweet. The change of pace made your head spin. It was clear he’d learnt a lot already. You could feel him smiling against your mouth and realised you were smiling too.

Soon you grew impatient and purposefully clenched around him.

Rimmer swore, his lips still moving against yours, moaning ‘Io, sweetheart’ right into your mouth.

You laughed softly, so unspeakably happy that for a moment, you forgot you weren’t the only two people on the ship, in the whole universe.

With the puzzled look of someone desperately trying to remember everything they’d studied just before an exam, Rimmer glanced up at you then kissed your cheek, probably for his own sake. Then he slowly pulled out, only to thrust deeply back into you, making your breath hitch.

You gasped into each other’s mouth, his nose brushing against yours, lips just catching as the two of you moved together.

“That’s it, that’s it, love.” You tugged at his hair, whispering feverishly by his ear, hoping some encouragement might wipe the focused expression off his face. “Feels so good, Arn, fuck- Oh…”

He hit a sweet spot inside you, making your back arch, pressing your chest against his. You wrapped your fingers around his jaw and devoured his mouth as he picked up speed, moaning so loud you were absolutely sure they’d be able to hear you down the hall now, but you couldn’t care less.

Rimmer gave you that look again, like he was completely shocked beyond all reasonable thought, and you couldn’t help cursing every single person who had ever written him off or bullied him or made him feel any less than he was, but you couldn’t help thanking them too, because it had led Rimmer to you, and you wanted to make him feel just like this for the rest of your life.

His movements grew sloppy and desperate and sweet and so, so hot as you felt yourself already tripping towards the edge. A lot of lonely nights and longing looks meant it wouldn’t take long at all, not for either of you.

“Rimmer, m’so close, m’so close-” you breathed out, and felt him nod, his nose bumping against yours.

The pressure was building and building, so you held his face in your hands, kissing him so hard it made him whimper against your mouth. You felt beads of sweat run down your thigh as he lifted your leg against his waist and held you there, his body starting to tremble.

Then suddenly, he shook his head.

“I can’t-”

You lifted your head, trying to meet his gaze, but Rimmer faltered and lowered his forehead to your chest.

“What’s wrong? Is it too much?”

“I- In a way.”

You blinked, confused, then realisation settled over you with a surge of happiness.

“Oh, Arn.” You laughed softly and ran your fingers through his hair. “C’mon, love. Don’t hold out on me. If you need to, you should.”

Rimmer groaned, though it was entirely without pleasure. You knew he was close, you could practically feel it pulsing through him, but again, even in the most euphoric moment of his life thus far, he’d found a reason to be angry with himself.

“Want to make you feel good.”

His face was still pressed into your chest so his voice came out all muffled. It made you laugh again as you kissed the top of his head.

“You will. You are. Hey, look at me.”

You gently tucked your fingers under his chin and lifted his head until Rimmer’s gaze met yours. Clouded and soft, his half-lidded eyes were so dark, it took your breath away.

“This is not going to be the only time we do this, Arn,” you said, quiet but firm so that he’d get the message. “Alright? I want you forever.”

Slowly, he started to nod, even though it looked like every fibre of his being was screaming at him to argue and doubt and depreciate.

“Alright,” Rimmer said, then again, almost to himself, “Alright.”

You kissed him, soft and slow, hoping he’d be able to feel just how much you adored him in every touch of your lips against his. You could feel him gradually starting to relax again, his body sinking into yours, his soft little moans and whimpers getting louder and gruffer as he began to pick up the pace again.

“Just let go,” you whispered by his ear, then let your head fall back against the pillow. “Feel.”

Rimmer leaned into you, and over his shoulder, you watched the planes and muscles in his back contracting and working and shifting under his skin. Mesmerised, you just held tight, watching the light pool on the thin sheen of sweat that lay across Rimmer’s shoulder blades.

“Io, I can’t even think anymore, you’re so-”

You let out a surprised groan when he hitched your thigh further up his side, tilting your hips upwards, the new angle made you see galaxies behind your closed eyes.

“So long as you don’t say ‘Geronimo’, anything’s fine by me,” you managed to get out, his sharp, erratic thrusts stealing your breath away.

Rimmer paused again, his brow furrowed. You could’ve hit him, you really could.

“How did you-”

“They told me.”

“Oh, for-”

“Arnie,” you laughed. “Concentrate. It doesn’t matter what you say.”

He scoffed like he didn’t believe you but it didn’t matter anyway, it was too late. With his face buried in your neck, Rimmer picked up the pace again, his free hand finding yours and interlocking your fingers.

“I’m-” His eyes squeezed shut, his mouth falling open. “Io, I’m going to- Oh, God, darling- You’re-”

You kissed him, swallowing his keening moan, but he made sure to pull away just as he slammed his hips into yours a final time.

“I love you,” Rimmer groaned, his head falling to rest against your chest as his heaved, his hips stuttering and his moans vibrating over your heart.

He all but collapsed on top of you, only the hand by your head kept him from squashing you. You groaned softly as he settled deeper into you, your bodies connected in a way you never would have thought possible.

He said those words again, I love you, but this time it was moaned into your mouth, and you could’ve cried as you whispered it back.

After a moment, he slowly pulled out, his sweaty, sticky skin rubbing against yours as he moved away, but only to sit up, looking down at you with open, honest, aching adoration.

You moaned his name, waving at him to come back to you, but Rimmer just smiled, tired but so, so stupidly happy. Then he began to mouth wet, open-mouthed kisses down your body, over your stomach, round your hips, and down the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, leaving behind a trail of marks you couldn’t wait to admire in the mirror later.

“Where are you off to?” you called softly, your heart beginning to skip as he settled between your thighs.

“Your turn.”

His words thrummed through you, the tension in your abdomen like a rubber band, about to snap. Your skin felt hot but you couldn’t stop shivering, kept on the brink of anticipation by his needful, desperate kisses.

You were disappointed when Rimmer moved past where you wanted him most. His teeth grazed the insides of your thighs, then he kissed the spot as if to apologise. He pressed another kiss to your calf, running his hand up the bare skin of your other leg.

He was taking his time. After all these years, he was desperate to feel you, to make a note of every tangible moment, to taste you and burn the memory of you squeezing around him onto his memory forever.

He kissed his way back up your other leg, then you whined as he gently sank his teeth into your thigh.

“Arnold…” you warned, but he got the message pretty quickly.

“Just exploring, darling. You know, I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m shocked.”

Rimmer shot you a weary look, and it looked so ridiculous paired with his messy hair and glistening skin, his bare chest and his pink lips, his big hands wrapped around your thighs and his mouth so close to where you needed him most, you couldn’t hold back a grin if you tried.

“I’ve read a lot of magazines. Hopefully, I’ll remember some of it.”

“Arnie, if I could make one suggestion? Go with your gut.”

He looked up at you, a crooked, dorky sort of smile offsetting the heated look in his eyes. He really did love it when you called him that. He couldn’t believe he’d managed to go all these years without it.

“My gut is telling me to yell in panic.”

“Okay, well, maybe not that then.”

Rimmer laughed softly as he settled deeper into the crux of your thighs.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ve got you.”

You didn’t have time to respond. The cold air against you was replaced by his warm, wet tongue, drawing a path up your core in a bold and breath-stealing move.

You bit your lip, your hands immediately falling to grab his shoulder and curl your fingers back into his hair, pulling gently, spurring him on.

Rimmer didn’t need anymore encouragement. He dragged his tongue against you, lapping up the mess he’d caused with a soft groan. His eyes rolled back as he pressed deeper, his hands pushing against the insides of your thighs to spread you open further.

You let your head fall back against the pillow, trying to keep your legs apart but it was almost too much to bear. He was moaning against you, whining and whimpering your name as he dipped his tongue inside you, then his long index and middle fingers.

“Oh, God, Arn…”

At the sound of his name, Rimmer groaned again, his voice reverberating through you as you began to rock your hips against his mouth.

God, the sound of him tasting you, it was obscene. You were sure you’d never been so stupidly turned on in all your life, and when you realised he was grinding his hips against the mattress, you honestly could have cried.

It reminded you of a dream you’d once had, a wonderful, mad dream, that led you to right here, right now, with Rimmer’s fingers crooked inside you and his teeth sinking into your inner thigh.

“Now, is this…” His eyebrows shot up. “Ah, yes!”

Rimmer wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking gently, his eyes on your face to gauge your reaction.

You gasped, your fist tightening in his hair, pushing his face deeper into you, and the groan you got in response was so low and virile, it made your hips jump.

You didn’t have a chance to warn him, the band across your lower belly suddenly snapped, and you came with a ragged moan, your back arching off the bed, his name and only his on your lips. But he didn’t stop, Rimmer kept sucking at your aching clit, his fingers pumping into you, his wrist coated with your wetness. He didn’t ease off until you came again, breathless, shaking, your whole body trembling under his.

When you finally came up for air, you weakly waved him closer, and with a tired smile, Rimmer clambered back to lay beside you.

Immediately, you fell into his arms, clutching at his toned back like a lifeboat in a storm. Tears began to well so you quickly closed your eyes, feeling stupid but just so happy.

“Was that..?” Rimmer panted, his chin glistening in the low light. “Did I do alr-”

“Oh, shut up.” You kissed him, deep and slow. “You were amazing.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

You choked on the word, wanting to say more but you were too emotional to get any further.

Rimmer kissed your temple, then the tip of your nose, gathering you up in his arms as best he could.

“Worth the wait?” he asked quietly.

You opened your eyes and found him watching you intently, worry and joy and hope alighting across his lovely face.

You smiled, slipping your hand around his jaw.

“Worth the wait,” you said, and felt your heart burst when Rimmer grinned.

You drifted off to sleep together, tangled and sweaty and exhausted, your hands between you on the bed. Your fingers were interlocked, never to be parted again.

Next Chapter

Master List

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #chris barrie #my post #arnold rimmer imagine #arnold rimmer reader #arnold rimmer smut #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold rimmer x you #arnold rimmer you

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awholebunchobananas · 1 year

Text

📣 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 📣

TOTTY-TOTTY-TOTTY HAS POSTED A NEW CHAPTER OF THE BEST RED DWARF FIC EVER, ALONE TOGETHER

Warning: it is pretty filthy. But if you’re into that, it’s excellent written smut. It’s good shit, Brent.

Besides the dong talk: it is also extremely in character, excellent dialogue, Rimmer’s internal monologue is on point and maintains his characterization as a total smeghead for the full breadth and width of the 30 years the fic covers. You will hate him at some points. He is a git. He is my favorite character. This is my absolute favorite Red Dwarf fic ever and I’ve reread the whole thing several times.

#red dwarf #red dwarf fic #rimster

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sochawrites · 2 years

Text

Requesting rules

There's a list of requests that are currently sent in via ask, since I know how much Tumblr likes to eat those

Wait 24 hours, if your request isn't there at that point, and wasn't answered, send it again

Please try and specify whether you want headcanons or a drabble/ fic/ one-shot/ scenario when requesting

I write for

Slashers

Michael Myers (OG, RZ, Peepaw*) Yautja

Bane (comics, nolan verse)

Red Dwarf

David Lister Arnold Rimmer

Considering writing for**

Hellboy Zaphod Beeblebrox Eddie Brock (+Venom)

*if comfortable

**these will take a bit longer, but you can request for them

I won't write

Pedophilia Incest Suicide/ self-harm Some kinks (If you're not sure whether I'm ok with them or not, you can always ask prior, I don't bite) Smut*** Rape/non-con

I will write

Platonic! reader (this does include child/kid reader) Gender-neutral!reader/ fem!reader Trans!reader/ male!reader**** Smut*** The usual (fluff, angst, hurt-comfort...)

*** My virgin ass is not comfortable with writing smut fics, since, u know, no experience in that area, but nsfw headcanons might be alright

**** As a cis woman, I can only try my best, but there's no guarantee it will be accurate, so proceed and heed the warning...

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rd-ficremixblog · 7 months

Text

Skipping

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45211207

This fic includes multiple versions of Lister / Rimmer, so go nuts. Although please no Major Character Death.

I should add that smut isn't essential, although very welcome. If someone wants to write these characters having a romantic dinner or something, feel free.

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energon-with-a-curly-straw · 3 years

Text

I have absolutely no memory and no object permanence which can occasionally lead to something amazing like this morning, when I had an idea for a wip I hadn’t looked at in a while and found this gem 😂🤣

“He was a raging meat thermometer and it was time to see if the chicken was cooked.”

#I write p//rn to make myself laugh and for no other reason #writing #the idea was for Boys and Their Toys but the notes have all the red dwarf smut #so this is totally about Lister fucking Rimmer 😭😭😭#I’ve been cracking up all day #I guess it means I’m doing better if I’ve been thinking about writing again

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secondtechnicianrimmer · 25 days

Text

Space Corp. Directive #1215225

For some ungodly reason, you fancy the second technician, but you'd be damned if you ever admitted it.

Pairing: Arnold Rimmer x (F) Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content

Chapter Fourteen: Starbuggin’

It had been a nice day.

This wasn’t particularly notable or odd; you’d settled very happily into life aboard Red Dwarf, and now Starbug. It’s just that the general day-to-day usually tended to involve running from an insane creature, something exploding, and quite a lot of arguing. Boredom was often just as dangerous. But, so far, today had been lovely.

You had been lying on your bunk for most of the afternoon, a book raised above your head, your arms outstretched in front of you. There wasn’t much to do in the tiny ship; thankfully you’d thought to stock up on activities before you lost Red Dwarf.

When the position grew too tiring, you lowered your arms until your elbows rested on the mattress, the book now too close to be comfortable, but you didn’t mind.

Across the room, at a low table in the centre of the sleeping quarters, Rimmer was sat with his hands inside a perspex box. He’d had it for years apparently. Kryten had found the specifications in the holosuite a few months after he came back to the ship. Rimmer had never really found a lot of use for it. Now, all you had was time, and Rimmer was finally setting some aside to enjoy himself.

Inside the Holo-Box, heavy black gloves covered his hands, allowing Rimmer to gingerly cradle an old-fashioned Airfix model.

As he carefully dabbed a paintbrush against the side of something called a Spitfire, you smiled fondly to yourself.

Yes, it had been a lovely day.

“I’m gonna say it.”

Rimmer didn’t even bother looking up.

“Don’t.”

“I’m gonna.”

“I’m concentrating.”

With a sigh, you turned back to your book.

“I just think you should know-”

“Darling…”

“You’re much artsier than you give yourself credit for!”

Rimmer finally turned his head towards you, very obviously trying hard not to roll his eyes. He’d always been a bit softer with you, and lately he’d been trying harder to be less of a dick, but he still had trouble sometimes.

“This isn’t art,” he said firmly. “This is… Engineering.”

Your fond smile only grew.

“You’re painting model aeroplanes, Arn.”

“Exactly! Aeroplanes. That’s technical stuff!”

He was so determined to ignore any sense of his own creativity, you almost didn’t want to argue with him. Almost.

Plus he looked handsome today, and who were you to argue with Rimmer when he looked so good? His short-sleeved red shirt was enticingly soft, and those braces pulled tight over his broad shoulders constantly played on your mind. Sometimes, you came close to asking him to put his puffy uniform jacket on, because the sight of his lithe forearms and strong chest was almost too much to bear.

“Okay,” You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

You turned over on the bed so that you lay on your stomach, keeping your book open with your fingertips pressed against the twin swells of its pages.

“But maybe if you explored your creative side rather than berating yourself for not passing exams about things your brain doesn’t compute as well…”

Half-smiling and doing a bad job of hiding it, Rimmer shot you a weary look.

“That’s enough therapy out of you, Lefty. Let me concentrate.”

Grinning, you turned back to your book.

“Yes, dear.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rimmer’s back straighten, just a little.

There had been a marked shift in his confidence, in the general way he held himself, since your matching confessions that night. You hadn’t noticed it immediately, Rimmer had always been a little gentler about himself when it was you he was talking to, he’d learnt his lesson, so it took you a while to realise the change.

You couldn’t touch him, but there were a thousand other ways to show your affection. So far, you’d discovered that warm words, sweet names, and soft compliments worked the best. They made Rimmer’s shoulders sink, his jaw relax, as if just having someone be kind to him for once in his life was enough to loosen the vice around his chest. And he smiled more now. That was perhaps your favourite thing of all.

You turned your head and watched him work. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his curls falling across his forehead. There, at the corner of his mouth, his tongue was sticking out ever-so-slightly.

You let out a sigh, long and deep, and sank further into the bed. Folding your arms over your book, you rested your head there and silently watched Rimmer work, just enjoying the sight of him relaxed, comfortable, happy.

What you wouldn’t give to run your hands over those strong shoulders, to slip your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and tug slightly, just to see what he’d do. You couldn’t help imagining Rimmer’s eyes rolling back into his head, his taut back arching as you slipped into his lap and rocked your hips against his. He really was torture sometimes.

“What’s your book about?”

Your mind still swimming with thoughts of all the lovely sounds Rimmer might make as you grazed your teeth against his neck, it took you a moment to realise what he’d asked

You hummed, trying to cast your mind back. You couldn’t even recall the title of the novel you stole from a chef’s quarters all the way down on C Deck.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you admitted. “I haven’t been concentrating, really.”

“Hm? What were you thinking about?”

“You.”

You beamed at Rimmer when he turned to look at you, surprised.

“Me?”

You hummed, smiling.

“Y’know. What it’ll be like when I finally get to kiss you. Touch you.”

A pink tinge made its way across Rimmer’s cheeks and down his neck, almost blending into his bright red shirt. He visibly gulped, obviously thinking along the same lines as you. Then he looked back down at his model aeroplane, at the lengths he had to go to for something so simple.

“You really believe that’ll happen?” he asked softly.

“Don’t you?”

“I… I’m not sure. I used to. I hope it does.”

Rimmer went quiet then, his gaze still fixed on his model.

You carefully closed your book and slipped off the bed, curling up in the chair beside his instead.

“It will,” you said firmly. “I know it will. And until then, I have a very active imagination.”

To your delight, that made Rimmer glance up. He raised his eyebrows, a smirk tugging gently at the corner of his mouth.

“Is that so?”

You hummed and watched Rimmer’s gaze grow unfocused.

“You just wait. And, I mean, there’s always Better Than Life? I could touch you there, couldn’t I? We could have all sorts of fun.”

You watched, beaming, as his cheeks, then his ears, slowly began to turn bright red. Oh, he was fun. It was almost too easy, but it was fun.

Rimmer was sweet but he would always have a stick up his arse, it’s just how he was raised. Getting a physical reaction out of him, especially when he didn’t even have a proper physical presence, was always a brilliant game.

You leaned over the table a little more, sliding your elbow across its surface and resting there in his eye-line, so that he couldn’t help but look at you.

“Oh, Arnie, you’re blushing.”

“I am not.”

“You are!”

Shaking his head, Rimmer tried very hard to pretend to concentrate on his model.

“I don’t think I can blush.”

“Oh, honey,” You grinned. “You definitely can.”

He shot you another weary look but he was still smiling.

“It’s a lovely idea,” he spoke with an unexpected gentleness. “But I think I’d rather wait.”

“Hm?”

“When I kiss you, I want it to be real. I want to be able to feel you properly.”

The air in the room shifted. Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you’d been teasing him about.

All around you, outside the emerald, pockmarked hull of your adopted home, galaxies and stars whirled around each other, intertwining and exploding and dying and creating, over and over again. And here, in your stark grey quarters, in the middle of it all, Rimmer wanted to kiss you so badly, he was willing to wait for the impossible.

You watched as his smile grew. Rimmer’s eyes were fixed somewhere near your mouth, any vain attempts to hold your gaze long-forgotten.

Laughing softly, you pressed the backs of your fingers to your cheek.

“You’re going to make me blush.”

“Well, now, there’s a turn up for the books.”

Rimmer looked pleased with himself. Again, you considered how far he’d come. It wasn’t enough just to show him some positive reinforcement. Even when the boys were kind to him, Rimmer either didn’t think he deserved it or refused to believe they were being genuine. It had taken a lot of time, effort, and soft words to cultivate that lovely smile.

“I don’t mind waiting, you know.”

You nodded your head to the side, gesturing for him to remove his right arm from the Holo-Box.

“I love you, Arn. I don’t need anything physical. Even though I am constantly insanely horny.”

As you slipped your hand inside the leather glove, Rimmer gaped at you.

“I really do that to you?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes, actually!”

Your fingers now safely nestled inside the thick, sturdy glove, you twisted your wrist and tapped your index finger against the back of Rimmer’s hand.

“Well, you do. I’m always thinking about you.”

He flinched. You couldn’t blame him, it had been so long since he’d been able to touch, Rimmer was probably starting to forget what it felt like.

The Psymoon where you'd first kissed felt a million years ago now. Every second since had been filled with a dull ache, a wistfulness for something you weren’t able to really appreciate at the time.

You could half remember how he tasted, that his lips were soft and that his hands had felt heavy and awkward and painfully endearing as they hung from your hips. It was wonderful, but so quick and full of fear. You’d give anything to have another go.

Slowly, carefully, so as not to overwhelm him, you slipped your hand around Rimmer’s and awkwardly fitted your fingers together, fidgeting left and right until finally, your gloved hands interlaced.

“You should know by now, honey. I’ve got all sorts of ideas,” you said, grinning.

As if transfixed, Rimmer stared at your entwined hands. A muscle, slim and overworked, twitched in his jaw as he swallowed hard.

What it must be like to have no senses to guide you. He couldn’t taste his favourite foods, couldn’t read his favourite books, couldn’t leave Starbug without a hollow tug in his chest.

Ever since you lost Red Dwarf, the fear of shut down had been hanging over your heads. Whenever the old ship met a new threat to its survival, you could feel cold dread seeping through your veins, long after you knew you were safe. And you couldn’t comfort each other.

Worst of all, with everything he’d spat about his family over the years, you didn’t think Rimmer had ever known a gentle touch. And now he finally had someone who wanted to take care of him, to love him, and he couldn’t feel it.

Well, you’d never been one to back down from an argument, and arguing with the universe was about all you had, three million years from home.

Rimmer’s fingers tightened between yours, then folded, his fingertips resting against the back of your hand.

“Better Than Life is looking more and more appealing,” he mused.

You squeezed his hand.

“I think you’re right.”

“Another turn up for the books. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“We should wait,” you went on, laughing softly. “Just think how good it’s going to feel when I finally get to touch you.”

“Oh believe me, I do. Often.” Rimmer raised his eyebrows. “Several times a day.”

That made your heart trip over itself in its hurry.

It wasn’t like you to be shy around Rimmer. He was ridiculous, it was impossible to be intimidated by him or to ever feel like you didn’t have the upper hand. You could tease him all you liked, annoy him, laugh with him, but it was all a distraction from just how much you really, properly fancied the pants off him. And as embarrassing as it was, sometimes he did manage to fluster you.

It was rare that you’d admit it, though. Somehow, Rimmer managed to maintain a massive ego despite also carrying more self-hatred than anyone you’d ever met. He was complicated, but loving him wasn’t, and neither was finding him so stupidly fit, it did seem like some kind of cosmic karma that you couldn’t shove him onto his back and ride him till the bunk’s slats snapped.

But then something Lister had once suggested popped into your head. It had seemed stupid at the time, back when you were sure there was more chance of Kryten fancying you than Rimmer. But now…

“Well, you know,” You squeezed his hand again, finding the gloves awkward and uncomfortable, but you were grateful all the same. “We can’t touch each other but… We can touch ourselves. That could be fun.”

Rimmer looked like he might pass out, then suddenly he was beaming like a kid at Christmas.

“You mean… You’d want to..?”

“Yes, Arnie.” You leaned closer until your nose was almost pressed against his, your lips forced to stay just millimetres from touching. “I want you.”

You meant to say ‘to’. I want to. But ‘you’ was more accurate anyway, and it made Rimmer’s eyes slide shut with a sigh.

You watched his chest rise and fall heavily beneath his scarlet shirt, watched the fingers of his free hand tighten over the curve of his knee.

When he finally opened his eyes again, they were clouded with a kind of frustration you’d both come to accept. This was life now. Loving but never touching.

“So,” You smiled as you tilted your head the other way, your gaze fixed on Rimmer’s mouth. “Are you going to come back to bed with me, love? Or are you going to keep playing with your aeroplane all on your own?”

Rimmer stood up so fast, you were sure he would’ve knocked the table over if he’d been able to.

At exactly the same moment, a shrieking alarm pierced through the thick atmosphere, tearing it in two.

Rimmer groaned.

“Smegging hell.”

The lights flickered, then died altogether with a sickening whoosh.

You whipped around, your heart in your mouth. For a moment, you were back on the Atalanta, terrified and alone. But Rimmer’s voice sparked like a Catherine wheel in the dark. You followed the sound of your name, half blind with fear, until he’d brought you back to reality.

The lights blinked back to life, unsteady and anaemic, but enough to see by as you charged through to Starbug’s tiny cockpit, where the others were already seated.

“What’s going on?” you asked breathlessly.

“Swirly thing alert!

Cat was at the main joystick, while Lister jabbed at the communications and navigation controls.

“Where?” he asked, frantically searching for something, anything, out there in the dark.

Cat shook his head.

“It’s not on the radar yet but I can smell it.”

Kryten took his place at the rear, overseeing the shipboard systems and long-range sensors. You stayed in the doorway, watching over Rimmer’s shoulder as his short-range sensor readers remained blank.

“Nothing here,” he reported back.

“Nothing on long-range,” Kryten agreed. “Sir, is it possible you could have made a mis-smelling?

Immediately and predictably, they fell about arguing. As Cat took umbrage at Kryten’s suggestion, Rimmer and Lister began to bicker over whether stepping up to Blue Alert was worth the effort of flicking the switch.

Still stuck in the gangway without a seat, you clutched the doorframe, your arms out at your sides like a bird in flight, and prayed that whatever was out there would just bugger off so you could go back to seducing your boyfriend. One day of peace, was that really too much to ask for?

“Wait!” Kryten suddenly cried. “I've got something. I'm punching it up.”

Leaning over Rimmer to see his monitor better, you held your breath.

Set against the stars and the endless cold night, a bright orange streak ricocheted across the screen. If there hadn’t been so many alarms flaring, you might’ve thought it was a comet.

“Too small for a vessel,” Lister said. “Maybe some kind of missile?”

“A missile?” You frowned. “Who would fire a missile at us? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Kryten shook his head.

“It's impossible to tell at this range. Whatever it is, they clearly have a technology way in advance of our own!”

“So do the Albanian State Washing Machine Company.”

Working as a team, Lister and Cat steered Starbug out of harm’s way. The little ship groaned as it suddenly jerked onto a different path but did as it was told.

You gripped the back of Rimmer’s chair, your gaze fixed on the monitor.

“Arn…”

He looked up at you, his jaw set. You could see he was frightened but he forced a grim smile.

You hadn’t told the others yet. It wasn’t a concious thought, you just didn't act any differently around each other and the boys hadn’t noticed. You weren’t sure if that said more about how long you’d so obviously been infatuated with each other, or about their observational skills.

He wanted to comfort you but there wasn’t time. You wanted to kiss Rimmer’s cheek and tell him he was doing well, but you couldn’t. Instead, you shared a thin smile and prayed this wouldn’t be it.

“You should buckle in, darling.” He nodded back into Starbug’s hold, where there were plenty of safer places to stand. “This might get-”

As if to prove his point, the ship rolled to the left, throwing you against the doorframe.

Instinctively, uselessly, Rimmer’s hand shot out to grab yours.

“It's still with us!” Lister cried. “It's some kind of heat-seeker. We can't outrun it!”

The ship rocked again, then heaved a sickly groan as it veered onto yet another course.

Rimmer looked pale.

“What on Io was that?”

“Some kind of suction beam. We're being dragged down!”

Next Chapter

Master List

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #chris barrie #my post #arnold rimmer imagine #arnold rimmer reader #arnold rimmer smut #arnold rimmer x reader #arnold rimmer x you #arnold rimmer you

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rimmers-swimming-certificate · 4 years

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So, I’ve been going through some old books looking for things I can sell, and I found a book I forgot I had, that I probably got as a present many many years ago. And it’s the best thing ever.

At first glance I thought it was a diary, and it kind of is, only the crew have filled it in themselves. Parts of it are hilarious. Parts are a little sad, like when it gets to December and all the crew draw a picture of what they want for Christmas and Lister draws the Earth.

But then there’s this, which is next level amazing...

Because yes, that is Rimmer and Kryten attempting to write smut. 😂

(You should get this book if you can. You won’t regret it!)

#red dwarf #dave lister #arnold rimmer #kryten #the cat

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smegdwarf · 3 years

Text

But Who Could Love Me? (Rimmer x Reader) - Chapter 9

A/N: 3 chapters in 3 days holy crapoly!

Warnings: This chapter does get a little tense (Rimmer has a breakdown) and I guess some implied smut 😏

Summary: Basically giving Rimmer the love he deserves :p

"What do you want me to do?" Rimmer shouted after you as he chased you down the corridor.

"Well for a start you need to tell Lister what you've done with Kochanski's disc?" You stood with your arms crossed.

"I can't tell him, he'll flush me out of an airlock" Rimmer was full of panic about possibly losing you "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, I understand why you did it but you need to tell him!" You spoke sternly as you walked off, turning back after a few steps "and until you do ...I'm off limits"

Despite telling him not to worry about you he quite clearly was, it also wasn't long before the others picked up on the tension between you two, hoping that distancing yourself from him would make him act quicker.

"Morning!" You smiled as you walked into Starbug's cockpit, standing next to Rimmer's chair as he looked at you a little upset that you weren't being your usual self, leaning against his chair.

"Krytes found a derelict on the scanner, thought we'd check it out before we head home" Lister smiled, clearly Rimmer hadn't told him yet.

"Sleep well?" Rimmer tried to spark conversation.

"Yeah fine thanks" You didn't even look at him as you sat down in Cat's seat, the feline must've already been on his second nap of the day, after all he has prepare for his main snooze.

"Is everyting ok ma'am?" Kryten asked as you turned to smile at him.

"Ooh trouble in paradise?" Lister smirked as Rimmer squirmed in his seat.

"No we're fine aren't we Arnie?" You smiled at Rimmer who was completely confused by your behaviour.

"Sure" He gave you a half hearted smile.

"Right bring her in Listy, I'll go wake up Cat" You patted Lister on the shoulder.

"Good luck!" Lister laughed.

"I don't need luck Listy!" You smirked as you left.

Before long you were all on the derelict, creeping quietly through the ship as the scanner in your hands lit up.

"Hmm theres life signs" You grumbled, Kryten peering over your shoulder to look at the scanner.

"Suggest we split into two groups" Kryten suggested "We're more of a target together"

"Kryten lets go!" Rimmer turned to leave as you shot your arm out in front of him.

"Krytes take Cat and Lister ...goalpost head is with me" You replied straight faced as the others walked off.

"I don't think the name calling was necessary?" Rimmer grumbled as you walked on.

It didn't take long for Rimmer to get frustrated with the silent treatment as you continued to walk round quietly, consistently monitoring the scanner in your hand.

"I know you're angry that I lied about Kochanski's disc and that you're off limits but you could at least talk to me" Rimmer finally broke the tension.

"You still haven't told him have you?" You asked not taking your eyes away from the scanner.

"I will tell him, but I want you to stop ignoring me" Rimmer replied as you stopped him at the end of the corridor buzzed.

"Can we talk about this later?" You whispered.

"Why can't we talk about it now?" He asked.

"Shh" You shushed him as you brought your finger to your lips.

"Y/N?" With a swift swing of your arm your hand was plastered over Rimmer's mouth.

"Take this and keep that" You whispered as pointed to his mouth and handed him the scanner "quiet!"

Your hand over his mouth was the only touch he had received from you since he confessed about the holo disc and while it wasn't exactly what he wanted ...it was still something and if it weren't for you holding a loaded bazookoid he would've had you against the wall with his lips firmly against yours. Those thoughts were knocked straight out of his mind by the sound of you firing the bazookoid although he was shocked to see the life form you had been tracking frozen in its tracks instead dead in a heap on the floor.

"How did you...? The bazookoids can't..." Rimmer couldn't quite finish a full sentence.

"I'm an engineer and we're 3 million years into deep space ...I get bored alright" You grumbled as you went over to the frozen creature "Niiice"

"I only asked" Rimmer muttered "What is it?"

"Some sort of transforming mutant" You pondered over it, resisting the urge to poke and prod it. For all you knew it could be poisonous or toxic.

"Polymorph?" Rimmer asked.

"A polymorph transforms into to different objects to blend with its surroundings" You looked at the mutant curiously "This simply turns itself invisible"

"Well what does it do?" Rimmer was growing impatient.

"I think I know" You smiled "But I'll need to Kryten to confirm"

"Meanwhile we're going to stay here with this thing ...how long will it stay frozen for?" Rimmer was starting to panic at the thought of hanging around an unknown mutant.

"Hey Krytes we've found the life form, we're at the end of B deck" You spoke into your watch.

"On our way ma'am" Kryten's voice replied through the watch.

With the derelict not even being a quarter of the size of the dwarf it didn't take long for the other 3 to find you. Rimmer was sat on the floor, leaning against a wall with his legs stretched out sulking while you were completely fascinated by the creature you had frozen.

"Is that it?" Lister asked as he spotted that it was frozen "Have you been modifying things again?"

"So what if i have? shoot me" You smiled as Lister chuckled "What do you think Kryten?

Before Kryten could answer the frozen mutant broke free, transforming into a huge green skinny monster, spitting as it hissed at you all.

"It's a psy-mutant" Kryten could just about be heard over the screeching.

"What the hell is a psy-mutant?" Lister shouted.

"Much like a psy-moon, a psy-mutant feeds of a persons pysche and transforms into their strongest negative emotion" Kryten explained.

"So who's it feeding of?" Rimmer asked as everyone locked and loaded their bazookoids.

"You sir!" Kryten answered as everyone sighed and rolled their eyes ...of course it was.

"Arnie ...thats your jealousy!" You looked at Rimmer and you could've sworn that had he been alive and had a heart you would've seen it drop to the floor, he never meant for this, he knew his jealousy was a problem but he never meant for it to become everyone else's problem.

"What have you got to be jealous about?" Lister growled as Rimmer became paralysed by the fear and guilt of being confronted by his jealousy.

"Should we shoot?" Cat asked.

"The bazookoids won't touch it" You sighed "The only way to defeat this thing is if you let it out"

"Let it out?" Rimmer looked at you a little confused but mostly terrified.

"If you keep this all bottled up, that thing will keep munching on it and we wont stand a chance but if you just say whats on your mind, let everything out thats causing your jealousy it wont have anything to feed on and we can kill it" You explained "I know its difficult Arnie but its the only way"

"I c..can't" Rimmer stuttered, the both of you knew it wasn't just his jealousy it was feeding on, it was slurping up his guilt too.

"Rimmer you need to tell him now" You looked at him, your eyes glistening over as you knew that what was about to happen was going to torture him "You'll feel so much better Arnie I promise"

"I'm so sorry" Rimmer looked at you with so much guilt and sorrow in his eyes as tears fell down his cheek.

"Don't worry about me, its Lister you need to talk to" You had almost forgot about the others watching you "Tell him Arnie"

"Tell me what?" Lister grew concerned.

"I..I ...I flushed Kochanski's disc out of an airlock" Rimmer stuttered as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the jealousy monster letting out a loud screech as it took a hit.

"Ah ...this is awkward" Lister looked at the floor.

"What do you mean?" You asked as you anticipated his answer, he already knew and had already plotted his revenge unbeknown to anyone else.

"I already knew about that ...and in retaliation ...I might have flushed your revision time tables" Lister replied as a small smile formed on Rimmer's face.

"I suppose thats fair" Rimmer sighed.

"Ok I'm glad thats all sorted but that green gooey thing is still here" Cat reminded them.

"I said everything why is it still here?" Rimmer asked.

"Because thats not everything is it Arnie?" You spoke softly "Maybe it would be easier if you three gave us a moment"

"Are you sure?" Lister asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry I'll kick its arse if I need too" You smiled as he nodded and lead the others away "Arnie you can do this"

"I don't want to think about it" Rimmer scrunched his eyes closed.

"Arnie you can do this" You spoke softly and calmly.

"No I can't" He shook his head as he fought back the tears.

"Yes you can" You smiled as you turned him away from the creature, cupping his face in your hands "I know you can"

"Why are you with me?" Rimmer started to break down.

"Because I love you" You could feel the tears fighting to escape your own eyes.

"I'm out of my mind, I'm a jealous good for nothing waste of space" Rimmer sniffed as you let his forehead rest against yours "If I didn't have such a problem with getting the breaks, if I didn't get jealous every time someone else was happy, if I just shut myself away from the world maybe this wouldn't have happened, I'm not supposed to be happy, things aren't meant to go my way. I don't deserve anything"

"You know thats not true" You sobbed as you heart ached listening to Rimmer completely breakdown.

"Even my own parents didn't like me or my brothers" Rimmer kept his eyes shut tight.

"None of the way you're feeling right now is your fault Arnie" You kept your voice quiet so only he could hear you "It's not your fault you were treated so poorly, you do deserve to be happy ...more than anyone"

"Then why does everyone treat me so badly?" Rimmer sobbed, it felt strangely relieving for him to be so open and vulnerable and not be shot down further, his legs began to give way underneath him as he fell to the floor. Dropping down beside him and wrapping him up in your arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he cried. He hadn't even noticed the mutant had gone.

"Unfortunately some people are just awful" You spoke softly in his ear before placing a much awaited kiss next to the 'h' on his forehead "and those people don't deserve you in their lives"

"Please never leave me" Rimmer looked up at you, his eyes glossy and his cheeks puffy and red.

"That never even crossed my mind Arnie" You smiled as Rimmer's lips started to curl.

"I love you" Rimmer sniffed as his hand found its way to your cheek.

"I love you too Arnie" You smiled as you helped him up off the floor "Lets get you back to Starbug"

"The mutant's gone?" It was only now that Rimmer remembered why they were there.

"You defeated it!" You grinned as he chuckled "Come on lets get out of here"

Once back on Starbug with the others Rimmer opted to go to bed, he was exhausted physically and mentally.

"I'll wake you up when we're back on the dwarf alright" You smiled sweetly as you leant down to kiss him on the cheek before turning off the lights and going back to the rest of crew.

Thankfully you weren't that far away so it wasn't long before you were back home. You assumed Rimmer had gone to his bunk to go back to sleep as you curled up in yours to read, so when he suddenly appeared in your door way at 3am you were a little surprised.

"I thought you were sleeping" You smiled as he stood in the doorway with his hands behind his back.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" Rimmer spoke quietly.

"Lister not up? It's not his bedtime yet?" You asked "Are you coming in?"

"He's happily munching on a curry I brought up for him" Rimmer looked down at the floor "And I didn't want to over step boundaries"

"Are you ok?" You looked at him a little concerned " Come in I won't bite ...not this time"

"Its nothing, just feeling a little bad about what happened and I know he flushed my timetables but I wanted to do something to say sorry" Rimmer blushed as he walked into your quarters "I mean he is my friend after all"

"Are you sure you're ok?" You laughed as Rimmer chuckled "Don't worry I won't tell him you called him your friend"

"Thanks" Rimmer smiled, revealing the beautiful bouquet of flowers he was hiding behind his back "These are for you"

"Where on io did you get these from?" You grinned as he handed them to you "They're gorgeous!"

"Kryten has been working in the botanical gardens, he let me take some flowers to make you a bouquet ...I should show you some time you'll love it" Rimmer was babbling, pleased to see you smiling.

"Thank you Arnie!" You smiled at him as you filled an empty red plastic cup with water to put the flowers in.

"Thank you for putting up with me" Rimmer mumbled.

"What are you muttering about?" You laughed a little as you raised your eyebrow at him.

"After what I put you through over the last couple of weeks, you're still here" Rimmer had gone back to the nervous, innocent person when you first started dating.

"You don't give up on someone you love" You gently took his hand in yours.

"Even if they're as messed up as me?" Rimmer's eyes finally met yours.

"I love you no matter what, you know that" You smiled as you stared into the chocolate brown eyes staring back at you.

"I really don't deserve you" Rimmer eyes lit up as he smiled.

"Hey no more putting yourself down ok?" You gently squeezed his hand "Promise?"

"Promise!" Rimmer chuckled.

"Now are you going to kiss me or not?" You smirked as Rimmer took off his jacket and threw it to the side of the room, after a little over two weeks of not being able to touch, hold or kiss you he was definitely a little touch starved.

"I thought you'd never ask" Rimmer grinned as he held your face in his hands, feeling his body press against yours as he brought you into the most passionate kiss he had ever given you or anyone for that matter, his arms dropping to your waist, sitting perfectly at the bottom of your back as you let your hands rest on his chest, feeling each other smile between kisses "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"I already assumed you would" You laughed as you brought him into another kiss.

"I love you" Rimmer replied softly as he took your hand in his and walked you over to the bed as you both sat down.

"I love you too Arnold Judas Rimmer" You smiled sweetly, his face lighting up like a child on christmas as you said the words. Delicately tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear with his fingertips he leant in to kiss you again, his arm around your waist as you both slowly fell down onto your bunk.

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