#s something wrong with my brain

[rosewaterbaptism]

I’m at this very weird point in my life where the circumstances that were making me depressed have changed, slightly, but I don’t FEEL better. At least not yet. It’s only been a week.

So either I’m never gonna get better because my brain has been permanently altered to make me feel bad all the time… or I need to follow the instructions of this post to feel better. Maybe recovery isn’t so simple. Maybe I’ll need to rewire the neural pathways of my brain. I’ve conditioned myself to be depressed for like 8 years, maybe it’s gonna take a lot longer than I thought to feel better

#sorry for the vibe of my posts today #I didn’t get enough sleep 2 nights in a row and now there la #s something wrong with my brain #I feel very foggy… kinda dissociated #there must be some retrograde planet to blame this on #tbd

[transsongtaewon]

Scam calls 👍

#sctir #sctir fanart #han yoojin #han yoohyun #the s classes that i raised #tsctir #s classes that i raised #my s class hunters #my sclasses #my art <3 #I only realised while typing up the id that I didn't change daughter to son/brother but didn't want to edit the picture again so #Yoohyun gets to be a filial daughter this time #good for her etc. #trans girl Yoohyun would be really fun I'll have to think about that #also Yoohyun's eye is black in the second panel because uhhhhh Irin left. yeah. #not because I rotated him wrong in my brain or something that'd be silly

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[homicidal-slvt]

I'm sexy in the same way that a mentally ill guy who's been nearly beaten to death is sexy

#vee's random thought go brr #all bloody and fucked up but in a hot way #bout to go murder mode #just absolute lost it but is so horrendously good looking because I am unbelievably crazy #i would be so average but look at me lose my shit #just a silly little white girl going feral and biting at someones throat violently #I'm so sorry theres something wrong with my brain #tagging a few characters that i relate this kind of sexy to #bo sinclair #stefano valentini #ruvik victoriano #simon riley #brahms heelshire #sebastian castellanos #leon s kennedy #valeria garza #chris redfield #karl heisenberg #ethan winters #alejandro vargas #jake muller #piers nivans

[sysig]

Dr. ZEXenstein (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #DAX #I made this before Halloween so it was appropriately spooky at the time of creation! I swear!! #I have a favourite Frankenstein: The Musical animatic that occasionally goes through the rotation but it was still a surprise to crossover #But you know how it goes - at first it's just a fun initial silly/spooky idea and then my brain clicks back on and Oh No This Is A Thing lol #But for now! Silliness! #I'm still really enamoured with the idea of ZEX as a warrior and a scholar - very Thucydides y'know ♪ #His extremely brilliant tactical mind needs puzzles! And I mean with all this free time on Cerenkov and given the right Ingredients #He'd certainly have the motivation to try and figure out the trick to life maybe-very-specifically-about-humans lol #It does raise the question of what a ''human'' made by a VUX might be like ♪ Yes he's a reanimated corpse(s) but like #Surely even with all his research - at the very least something /could/ have gotten lost in translation :) #Maybe even just the inherent Thing of humanness - the soul or respect of the dead? Like swearing in another language if you know what I mean #It's interesting :) I mean it's interesting either way haha it's a fun concept! #Especially with Frankenstein specifically since y'know - the creature's whole Thing of why he Came Out Wrong was mostly on Victor! #He rejected and abandoned his ''child'' - of course he's gonna have some emotional issues Victor! #ZEX tho - ZEX has no reason to abandon a human(oid) especially one he intentionally went about bringing about! #So his eyes are a little weird - so he's got some odd stitches and he moves strangely and smells a bit - how different is that from humans? #All humans are monstrous! What's a few extra details? ZEX is already a xenophile and a teratophile is what I'm saying lol #DAX on the other hand is not convinced lol ♪ Drawing his head tendrils change expressions so fast was fun haha #As was drawing the Captain all stitched and with the bolts! Yes yes they're movie addition shhh all art is scaffolded over time #The real question is where ZEX got all the parts from - is that the Captain for realsies? #Or a fun role fill-in ''What if ZEX made a human and it was the Captain [before the Captain would've existed anyway]?'' #It could go either way! It'd be sad if ZEX lost his Captain and then tried to bring him back :') #But then again the alternative is him like........harvesting? (Off the battlefield? Ew lol) #Oh yeah and do you like the broken-off head tendril as a stand-in for Victor's whitening hair lol #I imagine it went necrotic and wasn't quite fully reaccepted - it's still full of blood and healthy but the skin is faded and pale hehehe

[xxthefairywitchxx]

What happens when an 80's children's TV host ghost clown starts haunting a modern haunted house scare clown?

...No really, what happens now? Asking for a friend

Mostly effectless Jack under the cut

also ignore that a bitch can only draw like, two poses recently, I haven't been sleeping well enough to do anything new

#my art #selfship #self insert #proselfship #proship selfship #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #Sunny Day Jack #Sunny Days #I had to draw this clown bastard after he grabbed my brain and ran off with it #80's extinct megafauna clown encounters a teacup scare clown for the first time #das a huge bitch #antis dni #safeship dni

[buppypuppy]

.

#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad. #the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously. #being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like. #it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help. #i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!! #because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like . #i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad. #my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well. #i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate. #i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day. #jane mary cry one tear

[languri]

Went through my k-music folder and I just started giggling like a fuckin dumbass thinking about my ship help??¿?

#i feel like a girl again holy shit aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #iM A GROWN ASS WOMAN I SHOULD NOT FEEL LIKE THIS AKDHDIWOALSJSOQPAUAL S HINJIHAM RUINED MY FUCKIN LIFEEEEE 😭😭😭😭 #ALSO LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN CUZ WDYM I AM FORGETFUL BUT ALSO I JUST OPENED A SONG THAT I HAVENT HEARD SINCE HIGH SCHOOL- #AND I BELT OUT THE WHOLE SONG LIKE I JUST LISTENED TO IT A FEW HOURS AGO??? HUH???? #need someone to saw my head in half and check what is inside my brain that makes me not able to remember important stuff #asukablyat

[abluehappyface]

Not me getting suddenly super happy and STIMMING at the fact that my bestie called me "his"

#like don't get me wrong #i absolutely understand that I 'look' like a she #sound like a she #and to everyone everywhere is a she #and im fine with that because i still identify as a she #but maybe that's why i LOVE it when im called something other than she #because I've always been a she #so to suddenly see myself being referred to as a he #it just #activated something in my brain #like i just started stimming and kinda pacing around saying #his? His!? HIS!!! #H I S #anyway i gtg to bed #bluey's rambling #goodnight everyone

[reinabeestudio]

OFF has this effect on me that makes me obsess over it for days like some sorta drug. Like a bookmark between other interests

#yomiel speaks #I barely did any s/i content for it when i was into it ages ago #So its like all the ideas are crashing back to me and jamming my brain gears #Kinda funnie that my focus back then was zacharie/my sona and now its batter/cee #Something bout the possible dynamic between them calls out to me. Wrong devotion n such idk #I thought of giving her a face veil of sorts for that bride vibes #But its annoying as hell to draw so i might just stick to the usual blindfold and call it a day. Gotta cover zir eyes somehow

[thelaughingmerman]

When I've got symptoms but all the symptoms are for both severe anxiety or another life altering condition. Like which is it.

And then when you anxiety is triggered over health related issues? Buddy the wheel just keeps on going.

#are thr heart palpitations anxiety or do i have a heart condition #is the fuzzy feeling i get a lot of the time the anxiety or is there something phayically wrong with my brain #we wont know til january when my new insurance plan become s actove..maybe #ive got tragically bad anxiety but most of it is health triggered #so ill spend ages fretting over something and then it makes it 1000 times worse #because your brain makes uo scenarios then panics from making up scenarios #so it hits you with the physical response to the anxiety from those scenarios which in turn makes your brain make #up scenarios and then ad nauseum #ive always had health anxiety and i dont know why

[gibbearish]

> be me

> never send asks bc im scared ill mess something up

> type up lots of asks but never end up sending them

> finally type up an ask i feel like i can send

> check over it a dozen times to make sure im not missing anything

> send

> didn't actually read urls right

> sent ask to wrong person entirely

> mfw

#ik theres supposed to be a picture if they put mfw just use ur imagination #maybe that one meme of the guy in the blue shirt smoking looking super resigned #its good its fun like its a small thing so im not upset upset but it is def frustrating that this kinda thing always happens to me #i already know i check and recheck things excessively its one of the reasons im like 99% sure i have ocd #but i still. always miss something big and obvious #not specifically with asks just in general things i spend forever going over to make sure theyre perfect always end #up having something glaringly wrong with it that i just somehow didn't process at all #it gets frustrating cause it starts to feel like no matter how hard i check itll never be enough but also that can't be true #because i almost never see this kinda thing happening to everyone else‚ people just Send Asks without having to spend an hour agonizing #over it and nothing ends up being wrong with it. so clearly they're doing /something/ to be able to notice that stuff and im just. #not doing that thing. but i dont know what else i could do it's always something i never even thought to consider #it's like the whole 'expect the unexpected' thing‚ something truly unexpected will be something i. cant think of #so how am is supposed to think it ahead of time #so yeah its. hard #im tryin to stay positive esp bc i know this really was a minor funny one not an actual Problem i caused but #s just a little hard sometimes when it feels like my brain wont cooperate with my no matter how hard i try to think

[alarrylarrie]

.

#y’all your girl is Struggling with a capital S #so I’ve been having this chest pain? #and I panicked so hard I went to urgent care and the ER on Monday #and all of my labs and everything has come back ‘normal’ #so you think that would help and I’d be okay right? #wrong. #every morning I wake up and I have full blown panic/anxiety that is so bad I can’t function? I have taken this whole week off work so far #I literally don’t know what to do #like if I didn’t have my kid I might consider a grippy sock vacation or something #it’s never been this bad before? #I’m just really freaked out by how I cannot actually get my body/brain to stop #this morning I took half of a med I take for panic attacks #and that has helped some #but the nausea and the fatigue is UNREAL

[that-was-anticlimactic]

edtpa makes me want to tear my hair out and drop out of school

#ya girl isn't smart enough for this ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #normally i could do this stuff but in this context like trying to hype myself up and be like 'look at all the things i did right' when i'm #just a practicum student and it feels like nothing i did Was right because it's not because i'M A PRACTICUM STUDENT is like pulling teeth #and i'm so worried that they'll think i'm incompetent and fail me but i don't want to do well i just want to pass and i feel so stupid when #look at the example provided because it's all worded SO WELL and ik i need to stop looking at it but some of the questions are worded in #ways that confuse me because i swear this is something wrong with my brain and they're like fancy test questions meant to sound more #challenging than they are and i just want to bang my head against the wall and curl in a ball and cry but i don't wanna do that but i do and #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #sorry i'm stressed lol #this determined whether or not i graduate and costs three hundred dollars to submit and i still don't even have my student teaching #placement yet and i start in almost a little over a month and idk idk idk #sorry for the breakdown do y'all still think i'm hot #imma go take a break and watch dance moms or something and dip goldfish in salsa #s/o to my boss for being very nice <3

[claire-starsword]

you've heard of "shining force guide book makes me google a billion political terms and also bioelectricity", now get ready for "landstalker guide book makes me google how fast tectonic plates move"

#90's kids: oh boy a guide book! i can't wait to learn more about my little friends nigel and friday! #the book: you guys heard about pangea #also at least according to my admittedly shallow googling? these plates might be too fast #there's something wrong with this planet #also i'm once again regretting not making a liveblog tag for that guide book #tumblr's search sucks and now i can't find the parliamentary democrat zylo post #even though it lives in my brain daily since that day. good times #landstalker

[thekidsarentalright]

i actually need to get mental health diagnosis' so bad like i need 2 know what is wrong w me!!!

#im abt to rant in the tags it isn't gonna be like depressed bad ranting but just like. abt my mental health idk . #if u wanna read That go for it fkdnfm #anyways it's like. i feel like knowing would help me a lot like it wouldn't fix me but it would help #bc it's like. either i have anxiety and depression and that's it and those are my only symptoms to try to help #OR i have like. some combo or just one of ocd bpd bipolar . which would be anxiety and depression AND other symptoms to help #OR i have autism which could be like. different parts of all of those things. or autism and other things. which is a lot of diff symptoms #to try and help but like Not Knowing what Specifically is wrong w my brain but knowing Something is is haunting #im rly hoping going to see my primary care doc will help get the ball rolling on seeing a psychiatrist maybe #bc i really am going crazy like i am at such a low low i am doing so bad and like ik what's wrong but idk Why or how to Help It #and i feel like Knowing the disorder(s) i have would help a lot idk. done rambling thnks for reading if u did! #txt