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bubbleteaimagines · 3 years

Text

Pants on Fire

Reiner Braun Oneshot

Summary: Part two of this

Pairings: Reiner Braun x Reader

Warnings: Angst

when you woke up, you had a killer headache. moaning, you grabbed at your head wishing the pain would just stop. you opened your eyes to see what the hell was happening, but you quickly gasped and scuttled away when you saw who you were sitting next to.

“woah, woah, easy,” reiner’s voice caused panic to swell in your chest. letting out a scream, you swung in his direction and jumped back.

“get away from me!” you yelled out, your fearful eyes locking with reiner’s.

those eyes, those damn eyes that once brought you to your knees now filled you with utter terror. those eyes that you once could never get enough of now belong to a murderer.

“y-y/n,” reiner’s face flashed with hurt as he reached out for you. “y/n, baby it’s just me.”

“no!” you recoiled from his grasp as tears filled your eyes. “no, no, no! you’re a monster! g-get away from me!”

you tried to scramble back but your back ended up hitting a tree. it was then that you noticed exactly where you were, a yelp escaping your lips as you noticed eren and ymir with you, titan’s scratching at the trees below you.

“eren! ymir!” you yelled out for your comrades, seeing as they were on another tree. eren’s arms were cut off and so were ymir’s.

eren offered you a weak nod while ymir said nothing.

“what did you do to them?!” you shouted at reiner.

“don’t worry, they’ll heal,” bertholdt told you. he was standing a good distance away from you, reiner having been the closest.

“y/n—”

“shut the fuck up,” you found yourself staring at him with hatred in your eyes, even though you felt quite the opposite. on the inside, your heart was hurting. scratch that, it was burning and it was burning for reiner. your body had become so accustomed to his touch that you were aching for it, but you couldn’t. because he wasn’t your reiner anymore.

“you don’t get to speak after everything you’ve done,” you snapped, pain in your voice.

“baby please,” a frown tugged at his lips, “please, let me explain.”

“oh boy, here we go again,” ymir rolled her eyes.

“get away from them!” eren shouted out, his glare intense on reiner. but in his state, he couldn’t exactly do anything.

“i said shut up!” you growled again, flinching as reiner leaned closer to hold your face.

you couldn’t help it— you immediately began to melt. his touch was your weakness, after all. it always had been. it sent electric shocks through your body and reiner knew you had felt it.

he was gentle, just like he had always been.

“baby...”

“don’t touch me!” you cried out, smacking his hand away. “don’t you fucking dare!”

“please, y/n, you have to understand!” he pleaded. his eyes were sad, begging you to listen. “everything i did, that was before you. and everything i’m doing now, it’s for you.”

you would have scoffed if you weren’t so heartbroken in the moment. everything inside of you wanted to reach out to reiner. you wanted to be in arms, you wanted for him to hold you and comfort you and explain all of this confusing stuff to you.

you wanted him, even after everything you saw. and that absolutely disgusted you.

“please,” a tear slipped down your cheek as you looked helplessly at eren. “just let me go. let us go, we won’t tell the others where you are. you can let us go, reiner. you can turn yourself in and end...whatever this is!”

“i can’t,” reiner turned away as he gritted his teeth. “i wish i could baby, but i can’t.”

“stop calling me that!” you broke down, pain coursing through your veins at the nickname.

baby.

reiner had called you that during your first date.

baby.

reiner had called you that when he held you in his arms, peppering soft kisses on your face while telling you how much he loved you.

baby.

reiner called you that when he made love to you, whispering how good you felt around him.

your fists clenched. “you lost the right to call me that the minute you revealed your true self to me. you’re a murder, reiner braun! do you hear me?!”

you could tell that your words were hurting him, like a knife digging deeper and deeper. he looked utterly heartbroken as he heard you speak but oddly, it brought you satisfaction.

by the way he had shattered your heart it was only fair he felt the way you were feeling right now.

“you killed my family,” you continued, “terrorized my friends! you sat there and listened to me cry about them when it was you the entire time!”

“i’m sorry,” reiner looked away, tears filling his eyes but you weren’t listening.

“you held me when i had nightmares from that day and whispered how much you understood! you stood by while our friends were killed by the titan’s you let in! you made love to me, reiner, you were my first! you were my everything goddammit and you...it was all a lie!”

finally, your voice broke and you leaned back against the tree, sobs raking your body.

everything inside of you began to shut down, and you just couldn’t take it anymore. how could you after you just learned the man you had loved for three years was a traitor?

“y/n—” reiner tried to reach for you but you were unavailable. “i love you, you have to believe me. nothing i told you was a lie!”

“won’t you just shut up already?!” eren’s voice cut the atmosphere like a knife. “can’t you see that you’ve done enough damage? for three years you’ve strung y/n on and lied to them, why can’t you just stop?”

“because you don’t understand!” reiner suddenly yelled, causing you to flinch back. “i...we don’t have a choice! we have to do this!”

“no you don’t,” you whispered brokenly, letting out another sob. “reiner, please.”

“i’m sorry baby,” he sunk down and held his head in his hands. “i-i wish there was something i could do...if i wasn’t such a coward...”

a stray tear ran down his face and you hated yourself for getting the urge to wipe it away.

“reiner,” bertholdt’s voice caused the blonde to look up with pain behind his eyes. “i know this is sad for you but you’ve got pull it together. someone’s coming!”

at this, all four of you strained your necks to see what he was talking about. peering around reiner’s tall frame, hope flooded your veins as you saw green smoke.

“the scouts,” you whispered, your eyes widening. “the scouts are coming!”

you could have laughed in that moment. even though you knew they weren’t necessarily coming for you, you were still going to be rescued.

“shit,” reiner and bertholdt became frantic bad the sounds hooves echoed closer. “we gotta leave — they’ll be here soon.”

“no!” ymir was the one to protest. “i’m not leaving without christa! we had a deal, braun!”

“w-what?” you stared at ymir with betrayal. she had made a deal with them?

“there’s no time,” reiner snapped, ignoring her request. “we have to go before they get here and take eren and y/n from us!”

“what do you want from me?!” eren yelled angrily, thrashing around.

“what we want is for you to come with us — no resisting. can you do that?” reiner grunted, strapping on his ODM gear.

your eyes widened in fear. “no! no reiner you can’t leave!” you involuntarily blurted out.

this caused reiner to pause, hope filling his eyes.

“i-i mean,” you were quick to cover yourself, “you can’t take me with you! it’s not fair! i won’t — please, don’t make me!”

“i have no choice,” reiner frowned, bending to your level with sad eyes.

“you do,” you spit out, rapidly nodding your head. “you do reiner, please. eren was right — don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

“y/n you don’t understand,” he shook his head. “i can’t lose you baby. you’re the one thing that’s kept me sane. i have to...there’s no other way.”

he reached over to grasp you in his arms and it was then that you realized you weren’t even tied down in the first place. you had been completely free the entire time. so why — why did you not try to run? why did you not try harder to escape, when freedom was right there?

“baby, please,” you locked eyes with reiner. “please don’t do this.”

you knew he was on the verge of collapsing as you reciprocated the nickname. your voice was so soft, so small that reiner actually feel to his knees.

“there’s always a choice,” you reminded him, delicately placing your shaking hand on his cheek. “and if you love me, if you truly love me then please, reiner. leave me here.”

reiner eagerly grabbed at your hand, desperate for your touch. his large palm overlapped yours and he savored the feeling of your skin on his.

“i’m sorry,” his voice broke as he shook his head and took out a small dart. “i love you, baby. so much,” he promised.

“that’s why i have to do this,” he whispered, and then your world went black.

when you woke up again, you found yourself staring at the familiar patterns on your ceiling.

confused, you sat up, the last memories of reiner lingering on your mind.

“hey,” a gentle voice caused you to jump slightly, but you calmed down once you noticed that it was only armin.

he looked a little worse for wear, his blonde hair messy and his blue eyes swimming with emotions. but hey — at least he was alive. and so were you apparently.

“armin,” you groaned out, your throat raspy from being knocked out. “what happened?”

you remembered reiner’s eyes and his face contorted in pain. that was the last sight you saw before everything went black, and apparently a lot had happened since then.

“we found you in a tree when we went to rescue eren,” armin explained, fiddling with his fingers. “eren said that reiner left you there before he and the others ran away.”

“what—”

you remembered your conversation with him.

“if you truly love me then please, reiner. leave me here.”

you let out a gasp. against your will, more tears began to fill your eyes. pretty soon, you found yourself sobbing again while armin gently held you in his arms.

“hey, hey,” he frowned as he heard you call out reiner’s name, “he’s gone, okay? he left with bertholdt and ymir. you’re safe now — y/n i know he lied to you. and i know it’s painful but he’s gone, you hear me? he can’t hurt you anymore.”

another cry left your lips as you heard that reiner was gone. so that was it then. the love of your life was gone and you were never going to see him again.

“armin,” you managed to choke a sentence through your sobs. “i’m not crying because reiner lied to me.”

armin frowned. tilting his head, you could tell that he was confused. “y-you’re not? t-then why are you crying then?”

you sniffled as all the memories of you and reiner began to play out in your head. every kiss, every delicate touch. every time he made you laugh up until the very last time he made you cry.

you replayed it all, and then you stopped once you got to his last words to you.

“armin, i’m crying because he told me the truth.”

#reiner braun imagine #reiner x reader #aot reiner #reiner braun x you #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagine #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin

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katiebug445 · 5 years

Text

You Promised

Pairing: Jean/Armin Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 1478 A/N: Listen... This does not follow the basic function of how Titans work, and I realize that. I however do not care. Things have been changed to fit the story, partially because I haven't gotten that far in the manga or the anime, partially because this is my design and I can do what I want. Have a merry Christmas! HUGE MEGA SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 84 READ AT OWN RISK

He knew something was wrong as soon as he heard the scream. He recognized it almost immediately as belonging to Mikasa, and his heart seized with complete and utter terror. Jean’s breath caught in his throat as he turned his head towards the sound, just in time for a bullet to whiz right by his cheek. He jumped, knowing he needed to get out of there as soon as possible, before he ended up getting himself killed. Jean turned on his heel and took off in the direction of that scream that chilled his blood, his mind going a hundred miles a minute trying to figure out what caused it.

Of course, his first thought was that something happened to Mikasa herself, and Jean knew that if that were the case, he and Eren would have another round. But, he thought, Mikasa was too much of a badass to be taken out by a Titan. He’d seen her work her way out of situations no normal person could come back from again and again. More likely, something happened to Eren himself. Either that, or…

No, Jean didn’t want to think about that.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a small group of people huddled around something, and once he was a little closer, he recognized the figures standing there. They were in a small circle, all looking down at something and looking distraught.

Oh, no.

“Hey!” He called, getting a couple heads to turn his direction. Sasha and Connie. Good, at least they were okay. The two shared a look, and were on their way over to him, the gap behind them closing up with the remaining spectators. “What’s going on?”

“Jean, stay back!” Sasha said, putting her arms out to stop him. “Don’t go over there.”

“What happened?” he said a little forcefully.

Connie glanced back at the crowd, and then to Jean again. “Stay here, man.” He said. “Trust me.”

Figuring he wouldn’t get an answer out of his friends, Jean shoved passed them, his heart pounding in his ears as he made his way up to the others, looking over and around shoulders to see what ended up being a body. A burned, almost unrecognizable body.

Jean’s eyes swept over the small form, his heart constricting painfully in his chest, looking for any sign, any proof that it wasn’t who he was thinking. The height was right, the shape of the chin… What remained of the nose…

No.

“Let me through.” he said weakly, pushing his way through the line of people. Jean could smell burning flesh as his eyes roamed over Armin’s form once again, his mind finally catching up and processing what he was seeing. Armin was dead. Jean swallowed, a barely audible whimper falling from his throat, and was able to take one more step before his legs wobbled, and then gave out completely.

Jean dropped to his knees right in front of Armin, his hands shaking as he raised them, reaching out to the corpse in front of him. There was barely anything left of the smaller boy, all of his soft, blond hair had been burned away, leaving behind it nothing but the smell. His soft, round cheeks had melted away, and there was only the imprint of his nose still left on his face. But it was still Armin. Jean lowered his hands, a shaky breath falling from his mouth, and he swallowed again. “You idiot.” He said, eyes falling to one of the smaller boy’s hands. “You weren’t supposed to die like this.”

Behind him, the crowd began to fan out just a little, giving him just a bit of space. He was vaguely aware of Connie and Sasha’s reappearance, but he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. “You promised me, Armin. You fucking promised me you were gonna make it out of this. Do you remember that, asshole? You promised me!” His voice broke as it rose in volume, the first of the tears pooling in his eyes. “You fucking promised!”

Jean curled in on himself, his arms wrapped tightly around his middle as his shoulders shook with his sobs. He couldn’t believe this was real. Armin had always been so careful, and he’d promised, goddammit! He promised Jean before they left that he’d come back safe, that they both would.

So why was he the only one still here?

“Give him some space, guys.” He could hear someone saying, and then footsteps fading away.

“Jean?”

“Are you okay?”

He didn’t know who was asking him, and he didn’t care. Jean couldn’t bring himself to answer anything, because it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did. Not right now.

Oh, God.

“Sasha, come on.”

Two more pairs of footsteps fading away, and then they were alone.

The tears kept coming harder faster, and soon, Jean was fighting to breathe. Everything hurt. Nothing made any sense.

Eventually, he finally cried himself out, and Jean was left sitting by the body, numb and broken hearted. “Goddammit, Armin.” He whispered, wiping the last of the tears from his eyes. “If any of us were supposed to go, it was gonna be me.” Finally he reached out, his hand enclosing gently over one of Armin’s, the once soft skin rough and cracked and blackened. In a strange way, Jean was reminded of when he found Marco, laying half-eaten in a street in Trost. Then, Jean had gone into shock. Then, Jean hadn’t cried like this.

Then, Jean still had Armin.

“You know,” He started, slowly unfolding his stiff joints, “you’re the entire reason I kept on after Marco. You gave me a reason to go on, to keep fighting, and just get out of bed in the morning. You were there for me through all of it, and I’m thankful.” A hurt chuckle worked its way out of his mouth, and, much to his surprise, new tears spilled down his cheeks. “As shitty as this world is, and as shitty as being in the Scouts is, I don’t regret any of it. I don’t regret meeting you.”

Jean paused for a moment, his lip quivering, and shot a quick look around to make sure nobody would hear his next words. He took a breath and closed his eyes, hating himself for never taking the chance to tell him while he was still alive, and hating that he’d never get the chance to now. “I love you, Armin. I think I always have. And probably always will.” More tears slipped down his face, and he wiped them away. “How dumb is that? I’m pathetic.” But he knew it was true; He’d already lost his first love to the Titans, and now he’d lost the love of his life to them, too.

And now he had nobody to help him grieve Armin’s passing.

Suddenly, Jean looked up, thinking he heard something on the wind, and squinted against the sun. There was someone coming towards him, running at full speed.

“Wait!”

Jean sat up, realizing after a moment that it was Jaeger and Mikasa and, was that… Captain Levi? Eren kept screaming at him, but Jean wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do aside from wait.

Finally, the others reached him and Eren immediately dropped to his knees, plunging something into Armin’s arm. What?

Jean sat there, dumbfounded, too exhausted and heartbroken to even make a comment to Eren about interrupting his moment with Armin, and kept his eyes fixed on the spot where the needle had gone in. Slowly, very, very slowly, steam started to rise from Armin’s body, and Jean’s breath once again caught in his throat.

The titan serum.

Gradually, the charred meat on Armin’s body was replaced by new muscle and skin, new hair grew from his head, and his nose regenerated almost within the blink of an eye. A shaky, relieved breath fell from Jean’s mouth, and his stomach felt like it had dropped from his body.

After a moment, his breathing became deep and even once again, and Armin Arlert opened those soft blue eyes once again. A disbelieving laugh worked its way out of Jean’s mouth, and the blond sat up, blinking and looking around at all of them.

Jean managed to restrain himself for a total of five seconds before pulling Armin in and kissing him full on the mouth. After a second of shock, Armin slid his fingers up into Jean’s hair as he returned the kiss. “You’re okay.” Jean whispered once they broke apart. “You’re alive.” He held Armin’s head in his hands, pressing quick kisses across his face. “You’re fucking okay. Your nose is okay.” He couldn’t stop the smile from tugging at his lips before leaning in, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of Armin’s nose.

“I’m okay.” Armin replied. “I promised I would be.”

#jearmin #jean x armin #katie's writing #MERRY CHRISTMAS HAVE SOME CHARACTER DEATH #i wrote this in like a half hour and hurt christy's feelings #it was awesome

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concussed-to-pieces · 6 years

Text

Sunnyside

Fandom: Mass Effect (2)

Pairing: Zaeed Massani/Female Commander Shepard

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thirsty Crew, another branch off from the usual fare! And just in time for N7 Day! I don't know whether anyone among our fine shipmates has played the Mass Effect, but if you have (and enjoy suffering over non-romanceable characters), this one's for you. This installment depicts a period of time between the second and third games, after the last mission in the second but before Shepard is...detained in the third. This also illustrates a slightly different approach to Zaeed's loyalty mission and the Paragon/Renegade options therein. Enjoy!

(I miss Robin Sachs.)

It had been raining for days on end. Weather on Zorya had never been easy to deal with, and that was when Zaeed had all the resources of the Blue Suns at his disposal.

Now he was huddled in a cave next to a smoky, barely-burning fire. With all the vegetation as green and damp as it was on Zorya, the chances of finding nice dry twigs for a fire were slim to none. If the Vorcha ever found his ass scavenging for Boy Scout supplies, he was relatively certain he could kiss it goodbye.

Thirty-three days. He had been stuck here for thirty-three goddamn days. Might be thirty-four at this point. Shepard had blown a proverbial fucking gasket and he had blown a literal fucking gasket and (in retrospect, anyhow) he could maybe see why she might have been irate.

Slightly.

He probably should have let her in on the whole Vido thing. After all, they'd survived the suicide mission, and she wasn't obligated to help him, not by anything but her word. He’d led her into the mission blind and Zaeed knew if there was one thing she hated, it was the way the Illusive Man withheld information. Goddamn girl, goddamn woman.

“I've done something for nearly everyone else. Let me do something for you.” She had said when she came to him with a smile on her face.

That goddamn smile. He would gladly suffer through hours of Nanny Garrus if he could see that smile aimed at him again. Instead, he slept fitfully; waking up sweating from dreams of women with gun muzzles prodding at his skull screaming we're a team Massani!

He wondered if this place and its goddamn spores was getting to him, making him feverish. Sometimes it seemed almost like she was still there. Still standing over him, gloriously tall like a furious deity casting damnation upon some sinner in a lake of fire. Maybe it was the damp, or lack of food and clean drinking water.

Goddamn, but they were a team. Her and him, usually accompanied by the tattooed biotic clusterfuck or the baby Krogan. A damn good team no matter who she picked.

And he had thrown it away. Twenty years of merc experience and then some (much more ‘and then some’), laid at her feet yet she still found him wanting. He had watched her test everyone else. He didn't really know why he had expected something different, something other than him emptying a clip in the direction of Vido's gunship and screaming with years worth of rage as he fucking failed and fucking turned on her like a goddamn rabid dog. The heat sink had been what did him in, ejected in a clumsy rush and clattering onto the ground to ignite a trail of leftover fuel.

He definitely would have left someone like himself under that beam after the explosion. She'd briefly held her pistol to his temple, but he imagined that was more out of fear and shock at the fact that he'd been about to attack her than anything else. The fact that she had pulled the beam off of him before eventually stalking away, her fists balled up so tightly he could hear her gauntlets creak in protest, spoke to the kind of person she was.

In retrospect, he should have known better. He should have told her.

Zaeed pulled his battered body closer to the guttering fire, curling up on his side with the sandy, damp floor for a mattress. He was so goddamn tired of thinking, tired of the circling questions in his mind. He cursed his stubbornness. A normal man would have died by now, instead of struggling on.

Why was she crying? His brain asked, almost in sync with the pounding headache brought on by lack of nourishment. Was she crying for me? Why didn't I listen to her? It's goddamn ludicrous to think that Commander Goddamn Shepard would leave a bunch of innocents to burn.

“We're a team, Massani!”

Goddammit.

“Massani!”

The tears dripping down her cheeks had shone when they fell off her chin, catching the flame's light...

“Massani!”

Zaeed shook his head wearily. “Losing my fucking mind, cherry on goddamn top.” He grumbled to himself, armor scuffing against his skin as he tried to force his fever-achy body into a tighter curl. Anything to try and keep off this goddamn wind and rain...

A hand grabbed his shoulder, roughly shaking him conscious. Zaeed groaned at the dull throb of pain, though it seemed oddly far-off to him. He mostly just felt damp, chilled to the bone. A little confused. Nearly overwhelmed by a quiet sense of disconnect from everything. Her face floated, wavering, in front of his eyes, and he felt a smile pull at the side of his mouth. She looked unbelievably cross, and for some reason that made him happy.

“Figures that I would dream up something like this,” He wheezed, “Sad goddamn old bastard I am, having a pretty girl come comfort me while I fucking die here in the dirt.” Zaeed almost laughed at the expression her face twisted into at that. “I know I'll...fuck it Shepard, I'm never gonna see you again, am I? I deserve this goddamn shit, I know. Dying on the site of what was supposed to be my most fantastic revenge. You weren't ever that big on revenge, were you girl? No, you were about your goddamn 'no man left behind' lifestyle. Figures that I was the one you'd break that rule for. You had to know that goddamn beam fucked me up. Couldn't even lift it off myself.”

“Zaeed, I'm so sorry.”

“Shep, I ain't blaming you. If anything it gave me some goddamn clarity. Maybe...maybe if I had told you from the fucking start what you were in for. You never gave me a goddamn reason not to trust you. You were always good to all your raggedy little misfits, even the Cerberus china doll and the Krogan braintrust.” Zaeed paused. This had been more talking than he’d done for over a month. “But you weren't a fucking pushover Shepard. You knew exactly when to pull goddamn rank. I guess I just never expected you to have to put me in my bloody place. Sorry 'bout that.”

His side fucking hurt. His legs hurt, his head hurt, everything throbbed.

“What sort of garbage hallucination are you, anyway? Shaking me awake like a goddamn bastard.” Zaeed tried to laugh but it was mostly a hacking cough, a wet, spore-filled rattle in his chest. “Everything fucking hurts Shepard. I hate this goddamn planet. I just want to be back on the fucking Normandy. Even with that goddamn AI and your goddamn pilot made of glass.” He groaned, blinking slowly as he felt someone slide an arm around his shoulders. “What kind of goddamn...”

The someone hoisted him onto their shoulders like a human backpack, like he weighed nothing.

“Shep I swear to God, if this is real I'm fucking...I'm eating you out first chance I get as a big goddamn thank you.” Zaeed slurred, fairly certain that he was being dragged to his grave by a bemused Vorcha scavenger. The startled exhale of breath that ghosted across his cheek made him curious though. “You gonna’ kill me? Vido send you?”

“You need to be quiet.”

It was Shepard! Zaeed had thought he was too exhausted and sick to be embarrassed, but his face heated weakly all the same. He lolled his head forward, resting his chin on her (bare?) shoulder and opening his eyes. “Oh...” What the fuck is she wearing?!

There was a velvety chuckle to Shepard's left. Zaeed felt the embarrassment take full hold as he realized that Kasumi had heard his enthusiastic promise of oral thank-yous. “A grungy, half-dead bounty hunter. Sure is a lovely change of scenery from what Hock was promising you, Shep!” The thief quipped.

Zaeed snapped into clarity for a second. “Th' fuck were you doing near Donovan goddamn Hock. I sure as fuck hope you weren't in this, er...garb around that slimy bastard.”

“A favor for Kasumi. I had to look the part.” Shepard replied curtly. “I did not enjoy it. I did not enjoy him. More importantly, he's fucking dead now and can never attempt to touch me again.”

“Can I just say, I fuckin' love your combats with this dress, great goddamn combo. Ten out of ten.”

“I'm not hauling your heavy ass around in the fucking jungle in fucking pumps Massani. Now shut the fuck up. If we're spotted we are fucked.”

“Been a rough night, ey Surimi?” Zaeed asked Kasumi, his head falling off to the side of Shepard's shoulder as he ignored the barrage of f-bombs (just slurred enough for him to guess that the commander may be a bit into her cups).

Kasumi nodded, but what he could see of her hooded eyes looked sympathetic. “Be gentle.” She said quietly. “It has been a trying day, Zaeed. Shepard has been out of her element for the duration. And she might be a little tipsy. Just…just a little.”

“Got that fucking right.” Shepard snarled, coming up over the last hill. Zaeed was more than content to fall silent, propping his cheek up on her shoulder and watching her breasts rub and shift with vague interest. She could be his commander all she wanted, but at the end of the day it was nice to know she was still soft and female in at least a few senses. Hell, was she even his commander anymore?

“Sorry 'bout all the goddamn armor Shep. I'll bandage up your scrapes once we get to the Norm.” He mumbled the apology almost too quietly for her to hear. If we're even going to the Normandy.

Shepard shrugged, and Zaeed watched the side of her mouth curl up briefly in a grin. “I've had worse, old man.”

“Still, you shouldn't have to fucking carry me. I should be able to walk. That goddamn beam.” Zaeed groaned. He felt Shepard wince underneath him. “Hey, not like fucking that. I know why you did it, Shep. I'm no goddamn whiner. I've had plenty of time to yell at myself, I understand.”

“You hurt anywhere else, Massani?”

“My side. My legs are the main goddamn problem. Pretty sure they're fucked.” Zaeed grunted as Shepard carefully set him into a seat in the Kodiak. “Not a lot of food either, or clean water to drink. I thought you were a goddamn hallucination, Shep. I thought I was dead.”

Shepard hushed him as the shuttle took off. Zaeed noticed with tired interest that when she comm'ed Chakwas there was a tremor in her voice. That beautiful goddamn voice...

“We found him. I think he's going to be okay.”

...

Zaeed had never seen Shepard hover this much. Chakwas, the old fussbudget, had him stripped down to his smalls for her exam and Shepard was still in the med bay and in that fucking dress. At least Kasumi had headed back to her room with a view after making sure he was settled.

Zaeed heaved a sigh. “Shepard if you're going t--goddamn--going to stick around you really ought to change out of that number.” He gestured to the doctor with a flash of his old humor. “Pretty sure if Chakwas keeps rummaging around in my goddamn legs and ribs, fluids will splash. Be a shame to ruin--goddamn woman!” The mercenary flinched, clenching his fists reflexively when Chakwas literally scraped into his knee with some odd little instrument.

“Oh please Mr. Massani, you'll have to do better than that.” Chakwas chided, slathering medi-gel across his kneecap. Zaeed grunted, Shepard's nervous laugh washing over him.

“I know, I know. It's weird seeing me in this. I do kind of like it though, wearing the dress.” Shepard admitted, smoothing her hand down the side of the skirt. “It makes me feel pretty.” She continued with the characteristic honesty of a drunk.

“Y' don't need a goddamn hunk of material to make you pretty, Shep.” Zaeed blurted, almost biting his tongue in half as soon as the words escaped. “Guy like me now, you'd have to put me in six goddamn suits to come even close to fucking decent.” He scrambled to add, trying to play off his compliment.

Shepard's eyes widened slightly, her head cocking to the side. Zaeed swallowed hard. “Thanks, Zaeed.” She murmured.

Oh Christ, what fresh goddamn hell have I slammed myself into.

...

Zaeed hated being on bed rest. He had been ordered to stay in his bunk and regain his strength, and Chakwas' orders bore no disobedience. It had been a week of this shit, just letting his immune system work through whatever plant life had taken up valuable real estate in his lung space.

He must have cleaned Jessie six times today, bored to goddamn tears. In the middle of another knife-tossing contest with himself, there was a warning chime from his door. “Who dares disturb my goddamn solitude?” He asked loudly, pulling himself to his feet and keying the door open. Oh. It was Shepard. “You're a sight for sore goddamn eyes, make no mistake about that.” Zaeed grumbled, waving her in. “What brings you down to my humble little abode?”

He noticed after returning sulkily to his bed that she hadn't walked into the room at all. She was just camped out in the doorway. Zaeed took in the way she was wringing her hands, and raised an eyebrow.

“Shep?” She looked like she was about to go to pieces. He'd never seen her so pensive. Well actually, right after that goddamn fruit Alenko spouted his preachy Alliance bullshit at her on Horizon... “You alright? Something on your mind?”

“I uh. I wanted to apologize.” Shepard mumbled. Zaeed was thrown for a loop. Shit, the time on Zorya had been more than sufficient for him to get his fill of eating crow. Shepard rescuing him had been an apology and then some, so why...?

“Get in here.” The grizzled merc ordered, auto-locking the door behind her. Obediently Shepard took a half-step into the room and stood there, staring at the floor like a child in trouble. Zaeed got back to his feet with a strangled swear, making his way to her and grabbing her chin. “How dare you.” He snarled, watching her eyes light angrily. “Who is this, this timid goddamn mouse of a Shepard? You ought to be ripping me a new goddamn asshole, Commander. What's fucking happened to you?”

“I made a mistake!” Shepard exploded, jerking her chin out of his fingers with ease. “I shouldn't have abandoned you! It was wrong! And...And I'm sorry!” She all but yelled her apology in his face, her step forward making him take a wary step back. She seemed to deflate then, returning to staring at the floor. “I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't stop worrying about you. Even when I tried. And I tried so fucking hard Massani. I know that to you, being marooned on a hostile planet by the 'great Commander Shepard' would be the ideal end. And I couldn't...I couldn't do it.” She wiped her eyes and sniffled quietly, surprising the fuck out of Zaeed when she muttered, “I couldn't get you out of my head. I missed your 'goddamns' and your 'fuckalls'. I missed your advice and your expertise. There's been a few situations that I could have used your input on while...while I left you to rot on a tropical rock.”

“Goddamn, Shep.” The mercenary was at a loss for words. “I didn’t know.”

“Of course not. How could you?” Shepard retorted. “I didn’t exactly announce that I appreciated your blood-soaked experience.”

“You goddamn missed me, though?” Zaeed asked incredulously. “I did not expect that.” He sat back down on his bunk, running a hand through his hair. “Not for a goddamn second.”

“Yeah, I missed you. I was at that stupid party with Kasumi and all I could think about was what you might say as far as the stuffy art on the walls, or the shit music and terrible company. I drank more than I should have and after that, well, you know the rest.” Shepard shrugged. “Kasumi didn’t try to stop me though. Also didn’t try to get me back into my armor. I think she just wanted to see if I’d actually do it.”

“Th’ hell would she have done if you were goddamn spotted?” Zaeed questioned, his stomach dropping out unpleasantly at the thought.

“She probably would have sent me out on a rampage. In that dress with my Claymore.” Shepard snorted. “Helluva’ fight, as you would say.”

“That’s goddamn outrageous and you know it. Fucking hell.” Zaeed hated the warm feeling he got in his chest from her using his terminology. “I can hear the headlines now, 'Commander Goddamn Shepard killed in a Blue Suns shootout, found in slinky black number.'”

“I want to be buried in that dress, Massani.” Shepard grinned at him. “Look, do you accept my apology or not?”

“Goddamn it, Shep, you got nothing to apologize for.” Zaeed protested. “If it'll make you stop though, yeah, alright? I accept it.”

“Okay good, because Garrus said if I kept pacing in the mess area he was going to throw me out of an airlock.” Shepard laughed and grabbed the merc's arm, an action that would have resulted in a broken nose for nearly anyone else. “C'mon, I finally got Gardner those new ingredients he's been hounding me for. Let's see how well the evil genius works.”

…

Rupert didn't necessarily outdo himself with higher-grade ingredients, but even Zaeed had to admit that the new fare was a bit better than his usual grub.

He also had to admit that maybe...maybe he saw Shepard a little differently after her apology. A lot differently.

Goddammit.

This whole business had started out harmless enough. Somewhere along the way though, things had gotten goddamn messy in his head. Mass relay. Suicide mission. 'Your Illusive Man can move a lot of credits.'

And then they hadn't died. On the suicide mission. He would be the first person to tell anyone that he specified in impossible operations, but that one had tipped the scales significantly as far as his credibility went.

He told himself that he stuck around afterwards because Shepard goddamn owed him. She had promised that the contract he'd picked up prior to being hired would be seen through. Didn't mean he wasn't surprised all the same when she'd approached him to ask about Zorya. “I've done something for nearly everyone else.”

She would listen to his stories while she compacted the trash, quiet mechanical whirring barely audible over the heavy rasp of his voice. He regaled her with an assortment of his nostalgic tales, his ‘helluva’ fights’ and cautionary warnings about how smoking killed. “Got a minute? You might learn something.”

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he’d started looking forward to her visits. He’d rattle on with just about any willing ear, so it was strange when he found himself holding on to better chunks of a story and thinking, ‘Shep will love that’. It was strange when he ended up beside her on more and more of her missions, him and Grunt of all aliens, bless both of that poor, conflicted Krogan’s hearts. Helluva’ alien, that bastard, even with his shiny peach skin. Zaeed was hardly one to talk about appearances though.

It became normal at some junction of their adventures that he would shout at the Commander to get down!, to force her into cover. She didn’t seem to have an ounce of self-preservation in her genetic makeup. He supposed being brought back from the goddamn dead would do that to you but according to Joker, Shepard had always been that way.

“She protects with her whole body, Zaeed. A soldier to the end.” Joker had been uncharacteristically serious when he said that, the pilot’s eyes set straight forward.

Massani had heard mutterings of the fact that Joker was a large part of why Shepard had wound up dead in the first place. He imagined that guilt could weigh heavy on a man, especially if the dead person you had on your conscience was rebuilt from the ground up as a goddamn science-y mishmash of Frankenstein’s Monster proportions.

Goddamn Cerberus.

Her focus was absolute when they were on fieldwork. She would have been a damn good merc back in the Suns, if it wasn’t for that goddamn morality she carried like a backpack full of emotional bricks. Every damn life she could spare, she did. She didn’t even seem to give a shit that it made her look impotent, spineless until she pulled rank.

He still respected her leadership, of course. He knew as well as the next man that they couldn’t just lop the head off of every Batarian slaver. Zaeed’s favorite missions were still the ones where they had no other option but to fight their way out. With a roaring, blood-soaked Krogan on one side and a swearing, shotgun-toting Commander on the other, he felt like they could take on the world. If Jack was with them instead of Grunt, Shep tended to try and be more level-headed. For the sake of the self-proclaimed ‘Psychotic Biotic’.

He’d never had a Krogan fall asleep on his shoulder before he’d met Shepard. Never faced a Thresher Maw, and on foot no less. Certainly never dealt with a goddamn Human-Reaper hybrid, that had been one for the PTSD nightmare library and make no goddamn mistake. Those huge, glowing eyes and massive grasping metal fingers hungrily clawing their way around the platform. The strange part was that the worst bit wasn’t even that giant monster.

It was when he and Jack had already made their jump to the Normandy and that last sketchy platform had plummeted into the darkness, leaving Shepard on the other side of a gap that seemed to yawn wider with every second that passed. And of course she’d jumped, like a goddamn lunatic, and caught the rim of the hull door with her goddamn fingertips.

Jack had frozen, the biotic exhausted and horrified into being paralyzed. They were already crowding Joker in the tiny area as-is, the glass-boned pilot raining bullets down on the Collectors that had followed them. Zaeed did the only thing he could do. What any sane man would do, faced with the notion of someone goddamn important to him dying.

He sacked up and grabbed Shepard’s arm.

For a panicky moment his fingers slid over her smooth hardcase armor, then he found a groove where her elbow joint was and bit down. Shepard clung as high on his own arm as she could, her gauntlet digging into the tattooed skin between his armor plating.

They hung there for a breathless second that seemed to last a goddamn eternity. Zaeed would swear he could feel her pulse thundering even through her armor. She just looked up at him, and it disturbed him on a deep, rarely-visited level to see how peaceful she was. She would die here if she needed to. If it meant saving their lives. You selfless bitch, he remembered thinking in irrational fury, rage giving his weary body the strength it needed to pull her up onto the loading area. “Not goddamn today, you’re not.” Was all he’d grated out, shoving her face against his chest and crushing her to him.

Grunt had given him a light (by Krogan standards, anyway) headbutt in thanks for saving his Battlemaster. “She has no equal.”

“You’re goddamn right about that.”

Twenty-something years of mercenary experience laid at her feet. His revenge plan was shot to pieces and that damn irrational fury of his reared its ugly head. He'd considered her important enough to save, whether she knew that or not was irrelevant and he wasn't about to goddamn tell her. The cold chill that ran down his spine from having the muzzle of her pistol pressed to his forehead had nothing to do with the actual temperature of the weapon. She hadn't even cocked the damn thing. He could have easily torn the gun from her slack grasp, turned it on her.

Cerberus may be damn good at bringing people back from the dead, but Zaeed had the feeling that the Illusive Man wasn't quite so onboard with Shepard once she'd announced she was saving humanity her way. If Massani (or anyone else for that matter) put two in her head, she'd stay goddamn dead.

Yet he didn't, even in a blind, seething rage. He'd ruminated on that a bit during his vacation on Zorya. The fact that he'd even thought that was an option made his guts seize once he'd cooled his heels for a few days. And when it was apparent that he was well and truly alone (or as alone as one could be on a planet populated by a two-bit sham of the hostile force he had started with Vido), the regret had set in goddamn beautifully. He hadn't thought it would end quite like this. After all, that handsome amount of credits from the Illusive Bastard didn't do him any good holed up in a damp, humid cave.

“Got a minute? You might learn something.”

She had missed him. Tense emotions warred in his mind. Just how much had she missed him? Enough that she needed to get goddamn smashed at a party and fly God only knew how far to get back to Zorya, so...how much did that equal out to?

He wasn't about to ask. Better not to press his luck on that one. It was probably a legendary moment in the 'Commander Shepard' book that she admitted to being wrong in the first place. Not that she'd actually been wrong, he had drawn a gun on her with the absolute intent to kill. Old habits died hard, old mercenaries died even harder. She should have abandoned him.

“I don't want you on my ship.” There had been a quaver in her voice. He'd mistaken it for fury back then. “You're a danger to the others, Massani.”

“Goddamn leave then!” He'd screamed at her, all piss and vinegar even as he fought to free himself from beneath the heavy metal. “Go on! Nobody fucking asked you to goddamn stay, Commander!”

“I'm not leaving you to fucking burn Massani, Jesus. Give me your hand.” She'd grappled with him for a moment, Zaeed stubbornly avoiding her grasp until she gave an exasperated huff of breath and just lifted the whole beam off of him like it was made of cardboard. “Give me your fucking hand, old man.”

“Fuck you, you...self-righteous, goddamn mechanical husk of a bitch!” The raw insult had rolled off his tongue and she had the grace to fold her arms across her chest instead of slugging him in the mouth like she should have. She had confided in him a deep fear that she may not even be the real Shepard, but some gruesome approximation of Commander Shepard cooked up by Cerberus to gain the trust of humanity. Zaeed rarely fought fair though. “Standing up there all high and damn mighty like you didn't just cost me twenty years of my goddamn life!” He knew spit was flying at this point but he was too enraged to care, turning onto his back. “Look at my fucking face, Shepard! This goddamn ugly face that I see every goddamn day in the mirror! He took everything from me! My life, my livelihood, my men--everything!” He jabbed a finger at his own face, at the scars and non-functional eye. “You expect me to let a man walk free as a goddamn bird after he mutilated me?!”

“I expect you to understand that I didn't intend to cost you your closure, but I'm not standing by and watching civilians burn to death if I can help it, Massani. If you don't know that by now I guess there's no helping you.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “If you had just been straightforward about this-”

“-I would have gotten some grand speech for my goddamn trouble.” Zaeed had replied bitterly, the pain in his legs and ribs settling into a searing throb. “You and I both know you wouldn't have helped me kill Vido.”

“Never underestimate what I would do to help my friends.” Shepard answered through gritted teeth, extending a hand yet again. “We can drop you off on Omega.”

“Like fuck you will. Get the hell away from me.”

When he refused to take her hand for the second time, she had retracted it and clenched her fists tightly. She had left without another word, marching back to the Kodiak and not sparing him so much as a last glance over her shoulder or her infamous 'I should go'.

He'd figured that was it. Staggering and half-walking away from the area as best as he could, his patchy memory reminded him of one of his old hidey-holes. Upon arrival he'd collapsed, his knee giving out and his side momentarily hurting worse than anything else. Goddamn, he was too old for this shit. Zaeed grimaced when he heard the faint whine of the Kodiak’s engines.

So that was it, then. All because he just had to go in all cloak and goddamn dagger. Nobody could know that he was Zaeed Massani, betrayed co-founder of the Blue Suns. Couldn’t have let her know. Nope. Too risky.

Zaeed thumped his forehead against the cave wall and groaned.

I’m a goddamn fool.

…

Kasumi tipped him off before Shepard actually got to his room and Massani knew he shouldn’t ruin the surprise. He tried to be nonchalant, laying on his back in his bunk and doing his best to seem bored. Not difficult, due to the fact that he was going stir goddamn crazy being a layabout.

Shepard keyed the door open and practically ran across the room to his bunk. “Massani!” She said excitedly, a datapad gripped tightly in her hands. “A contact came through! Guess who we’ve got a bead on?”

Zaeed sat up slowly, took the datapad from her just as slow. Her smile began to fade while he tapped at the screen, the mercenary silently absorbing the new information about his target. “You…” Zaeed was at a loss for words yet again. His palms were sweating, adrenaline spiking because here it was, he hadn’t missed out on his revenge after all. Just delayed it a bit. “I…dammit woman, come here.” He said finally, standing up and pulling her into a tight embrace. “You goddamn clever little bitch.” He muttered affectionately, startled when she relaxed in his arms and made no move to leave. He cleared his throat, then gingerly rested his cheek on the top of her head. “Thank you for not giving up on me. Even when you tried to.” The words felt strange. This whole scenario felt strange.

“Someone has to make sure you’re not left to your own devices. It’s a big galaxy, but I don’t know if it’s big enough to contain you.” Shepard pulled back, smiled up at him and-

Oh no, oh goddamn no. Absolutely not. Zaeed was ashamed of himself for even considering that. What the hell was wrong with him? She’d just given him the keys to the goddamn castle and yet his greedy ass wanted the goddamn impossible. Zaeed stepped back, clearing his throat again. “Am I going alone, Commander?” Something in his chest pulled tight when he saw a bit of the excitement ebb out of her.

“I wanted to go with you, but…I mean, I can understand if you’d like to go in by yourself this time.”

“As if it would be a helluva’ fight without Commander Goddamn Shepard.” Zaeed replied before he could think, a stupid smirk quirking his mouth up. Her smile returned full-force and he decided that no matter what happened, that was important to him. “Any goddamn bleeding-heart collateral I have to worry about this time, Shep?”

…

Never underestimate what I would do for my friends.

They stormed into Vido’s shitty little emergency bunker (these places all looked the goddamn same after a little while) and before he could move, Shepard had her shotgun to his chest. “Remember us, Santiago?” She asked coldly.

Zaeed relished the fear in the other man’s eyes, the terrified confusion that slowly settled into recognition. “Should have known.” Vido snarled. His fingers twitched over the gun on his hip.

“You’re goddamn right you should have.” Spoiling for his revenge after he’d been cheated out of it last time, Zaeed snapped a fresh heat sink into his pistol and leveled the weapon at Vido’s head.

“Killing me isn’t going to fix anything, Zaeed. It’ll just make the Suns turn on each other. You really want to burn down everything that we built together?” Vido sounded incredulous.

“I’ve seen what your leadership made my men into already.” Zaeed prodded the muzzle of the pistol into Vido’s face, pressing it none-too-gently against the socket of his right eye. “They’re little better than goddamn guns for hire, you brainless fuck. Some of ‘em too young and stupid to be in charge of pulling a trigger.”

“I had to take care of the trash. It left our numbers weaker, even with the Batarians.” Vido’s eyes narrowed. “You and your fucking slaver hangups. If you weren’t such a bleeding-heart shitbag, I wouldn’t have had to put you--”

“I’m not ever going to be goddamn willing to deal in slavery, especially entire shipments of little goddamn kids!” Zaeed roared at the younger man, silencing him. “You’re paying for every goddamn shipment you ever sent through, with your life and the lives of the men you had stationed outside. You’re paying for what you did to me. And you’re paying for what you’ve done to the once-proud Suns.” Zaeed smiled then, a nasty, bone-chilling grin. “I’ll see you in hell, Vido.”

Vido had always been the faster gunman of the two of them. The bastard had his pistol raised and pressed point-blank to the Commander’s stomach before Zaeed could finish pulling the trigger on his own gun.

Their almost-synchronized shots rang in Zaeed’s ears and Shepard made a strangled noise. Vido tipped back over the bunk, his eyes rolled up in his head. His pistol dropped from his limp fingers and clattered onto the concrete floor. Shepard fell to one knee.

Never underestimate what I would do for my friends.

Zaeed wanted to scream. His throat went dry as a bone, his brain already calculating how quickly the Kodiak could make the trip. What the hell will Garrus say? He still had some medigel, maybe he could-

Shepard grunted and got back to her feet. “Ugh, knocked the wind out of me for a second. That’s gonna’ leave a bruise.” She grimaced, briskly dusting off the plating over her stomach before turning to the mercenary. “Alright, let’s-”

Zaeed jerked his pistol down into its holster, swept her up in his arms and pressed a kiss to her mouth. Greed be fucked, propriety be fucked. “What the fuck, woman?” He growled, immensely gratified by the way she tucked herself into his chest. “Christ, I was halfway to slinging you over my goddamn shoulder and hightailing it back to the Kodiak. You know damn well your nanny Garrus would tear me six new holes if something happened to you.”

“Didn’t you pay attention to all those upgrades I worked so hard to get?” She asked, lacing her fingers shyly through his own. “Lots of interesting specifications.”

“All I care about is the fact that your insides stayed where they goddamn belong.” Zaeed had never seen her so kittenish, she was practically kneading his armor. “Thought…hell, I thought I’d lost you for a second.”

She made a dismissive gesture. “It’ll take a lot more than that peashooter to stop me.”

“Goddamn right.” Zaeed realized that he’d put them in an incredibly compromising position with his idiotic emotions. “Look, Shep, I’m uh. I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for in a…partner. I know you and Alenko had something, because I doubt you’d let just any goddamn punk upbraid you. I’m not a young man, not as spry as I used to be.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I’ve still got a few years in the tank, if you’re…er, interested.”

Shepard ducked her face into his chest and Zaeed saw her shoulders shake. His stomach dropped out. Had he disgusted her? Was he taking advantage of her at a moment of weakness? Christ, getting shot in the gut was still bound to bring back some unpleasant memories, better plating or no. But after a second he heard a stifled snort. She was laughing at him, the cheeky little bitch. “I mean, if you think you’ll be able to fend off the Alzheimer’s long enough for me to get some use out of you. I’d hate to have to visit you at the old folks home for date night.” She teased.

Zaeed found himself smiling without meaning to, gently knuckling the side of her head. “Goddamn lucky man, I am. Spending my last fragile years with an exciting young thing like yourself. You’ll have to go easy on me. My hips are a bit frail.” He squinted. “Also who the hell are you? I’ve forgotten my goddamn spectacles.”

Her laugh was delighted and it sent a warm shiver down his spine. Like the first, glorious taste of whiskey after a long tour away from Omega. He could tell he was in for a helluva’ time.

…

She was much younger than him, but it was good to know he still had it. He had promised to eat her out, hadn’t he?

He wasn’t sure what kind of action she’d gotten from Alenko. Kid was a biotic, so he probably had a few tricks up his sleeve. But judging from the way she was whimpering and squirming against his mouth, Zaeed got the feeling he didn’t need to worry too much. Her fingers dug into his short-cropped hair, making him hum softly.

This is goddamn perfect.

Zaeed paused, propping himself up to carefully kiss the bruise on her stomach. “You’re not taking another bullet for me ever again, got it?” He asked seriously, meeting her eyes. “I’m goddamn firm on this one, Shep. I’m not one foot in the grave but I’m sure as hell ahead of you on the list. So please.” He rested his forehead there for a minute, unable to maintain eye contact. “You’d better be goddamn careful from here on out.”

“I will be. I promise.” She said softly, still kitten-kneading on his scalp. Zaeed ducked back down to finish what he’d started, fingers pressing into her beneath his hungry tongue. He loved the way she rolled and bucked her hips like she couldn’t get enough of him. Scarred, grizzled bastard that he was, every twitch and whine was absolutely stroking his ego.

“Goddamn come for me, Shep.” He snarled finally, feeling her quiver. “You’d best goddamn come, hear me? Come on my mouth, because I’m not putting my cock in you until you do. Come for me, come for me-” Shepard sobbed out, working her hips up at him and then going totally still as she came. Zaeed greedily devoured her, the high-pitched noises that she offered him almost as delicious as her taste. Her hands trembled in his hair and he chuckled when she yanked on a handful. “You alright up there, Shep?”

“He asks, like he didn’t just give me the best oral I’ve ever had.” Shepard was still panting for breath, smiling that goddamn smile.

Zaeed was sure his own grin was outright insufferable. “Picked up a few tricks here and there. You still up for round two?”

“Give it your best shot, old man.”

“I goddamn intend to.” Zaeed languidly crawled up over her, pressing kisses here and there on the way to her mouth. “Helluva’ woman, you are.” He said quietly, feeling almost reverent as he kissed the hollow of her throat. “Putting up with an old merc like me. Hell, coming back for an old merc like me. I’m goddamn honored, Shep.”

She cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together, searching his eyes. Zaeed glanced away, clearing his throat, but she just turned his head gently. “Don’t hide from me, Massani.”

“Love it when you’re forceful, Commander.” He teased, getting her to smile again. The first lazy brush of his cock over her cunt had her closing her eyes and relaxing underneath him. Her hands slid to his shoulders, fingers resting on the tattooed skin while he slowly pushed the head of his cock into her. Zaeed meant to hum again but it came out as a growl and she trembled all over at the sound. “Goddamn Christ, Shep, not hurting you right?” He managed to ask.

Her response was a growl of her own, her fingernails raking over his arm. “More.” She demanded and he found himself unable to do anything but obey.

“Yes ma’am.”

He would never forget their first time together. Every touch, every taste was burned into his memory. She kept gently caressing the scarred side of his face, like she was trying to remind him that it didn’t matter, she didn’t care. Zaeed had never really been one for meaningful sex before he’d had half his goddamn face blown off, even less so after he’d healed. For obvious reasons. So it was…odd, to be alright with someone touching that part of him. Especially while they were being intimate.

“It’s not goddamn fair that you’re so good to me.” He grunted, brushing the hair out of her eyes and cupping the back of her neck to press their foreheads together (albeit clumsily, this was new territory). Her eyes were half-lidded, hazy with pleasure that sent a hot wave of satisfaction down his spine. He was doing well, her little sighs and moans of his name (his name!) encouraging him to continue, “That’s right, Shep, that’s right.” He rasped, not sure if he was smiling or smirking and not much caring either way. “I’m goddamn close, so if you’re planning on getting off again you’d better-”

Her teeth sank into the Suns tattoo on his neck, hard enough to break the skin. Zaeed faltered, legitimately embarrassed by the pitch of the noise he made. His hips crushed down to slot with her own and she keened through her teeth, her inner walls gripping his cock.

“You wicked little bitch.” He gasped when he trusted his voice again, resting his forehead against her shoulder as she came with a scream muffled by the skin of his neck. “I love you.”

She responded by digging her fingers into his spine and taking him as deep as she could, biting and licking feverishly at the tattoo on his neck. “Love you--too-” She panted, and Zaeed closed his eyes and surrendered to her.

When he could feel his extremities again, Zaeed rolled onto his back. His arms were absolutely screaming at him and he got the feeling his back would not be far behind. It had been years since he could attribute the soreness to something good, though. She shifted to her side, the two of them laying in companionable breathlessness.

“God damn.” She announced with authority, making him burst out laughing. “Guess you might have a few good years left in you after all.”

“I aim to please, Shep. Afraid my recovery time is going to disappoint.” Zaeed stretched his arms over his head, groaning quietly. “Goddamn worth every ache.” He murmured, more content than he could remember being in ages.

She tucked herself into his side after a moment, tugging her sheet up over the two of them. “Thank you.” The words were mumbled against his chest so softly he almost missed them.

“For goddamn what, Shep?”

“Forgiving me.” She twiddled her fingers and refused to meet his eyes. “I…I know I already apologized, but…”

“It’s a goddamn shit gig, being the savior of humanity. Can’t do hardly anything without some goddamn asshole judging you for it. Can’t maroon some insubordinate, belligerent old fuck on a hostile planet without feeling like a bad person for doing it.” Zaeed tapped the bridge of her nose. “I’ve had much worse done to me by men who I’ve known for goddamn decades longer than you, Shep. You’ll have to try harder the next time you want to get rid of me.” He eased an arm around her shoulders, settling her in comfortably beside him. “So, Big Goddamn Hero, what’s next on your Reaper to-do list?”

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