#she gives me so many things

[lisxdumbr]

My drawing teacher gifted me her old watercolors and I feel. sighs

#some koi.sakura specifically #god i feel. i have mixed feelings #this doesn't feel ok #she gives me so many things #she gifted me some crayons the day we had wax techniques and I didn't have any material #she let me borrow her old bristle brushes because I didn't have any #and now. she gifted me these aquarelles.. #see i was already ashamed with the scholar crayons and the brushes but at least those are. y'know. whatever? in terms of materials #but some koi sakuras„ #i remember. i arrived class last Wednesday without my watercolors because I couldn't buy them. they're too expensive #and she sighed. a bit annoyed. ”sorry to be a bother” i just thought. and then she let me borrow these for class #she's always this kind. #but then today. she asked me again if i already had my watercolors and i told her ”oh I don't. but I'll work with my color pencils today” #and it was fine. because today we had free technique. we could use whatever material and it was fine #but then she called me and handed me the same watercolors from last class. and then said ”take them. as a gift” #i was. i didn't know jow to react? i blinked and tried to fight it back but she still gave them to me #some koi.. some koi aquarelles #i may be feeling something. maybe a burden #i used them for today's exercises and she told me they were amazing #but what startled me the most was. i tried to give them back one last time when class finished and she still refused #and she said ”you're doing incredible. i trust you'll achieve great things” #those words are resonating in my head constantly #i do not feel like a good artist. i do not feel good enough. the rest of my class better but for some reason she's always saying that #she's always pointing put how my art is so sensible and how I'm different than the rest #I don't know #i feel something #i feel a mix #my head is really bothered #rant #❝ ritz.txt !!

[porrigens]

ryuji kisses for kiss ryuji day!

#p5 #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #sakamoto ryuji #ren amamiya #pegoryu #ryuann #takamaki ann #ann takamaki #ryukita #yusuke kitagawa #futaba sakura #makoto niijima #ryumako #haru okumura #ryuharu #akechi goro #goro akechi #morgana #sophia persona 5 #persona 5 strikers #so many tags omg #actually posting the same day i draw the thing! #havent drawn them in while so sth special.. #strikers is my favorite in p5 so its the strikers designs :] #wanted to draw yoshizawa too but my wrist was killing me… im sorry… #just so you know she was gonna give him a jumbo sized bento for him #kiss ryuji day

[hum--hallelujah]

man I mean just. the SMFS album lettering is made of clay. the cover art is an actual physical painting. there's a lot less fx on the album as a whole than Mania (which is NOT a knock on my bbg Mania btw, just pointing out the different approach) or even SRAR and ABAP. the songs sound basically the same live as they do on the record because the production is so minimal. they have a huge vinyl dog head onstage with them, that they touch and interact with and talk to (and, in Pete's case, get eaten by). the attic scene is made by lowering a piece of rigging to literally make the stage smaller. there's actually a LOT of sets especially comparatively to their previous tours, the rigging around the stage is done up almost as a physical frame for it. they only have one screen onstage and it's small, its purpose is to be the 8-ball and to add a little bit of texture to the wider design. the backdrops, even the new desert scene for 2ourdust, are physical backdrops — one of which was made by one of Pete's kids — not LED or projections. the album title is made of clay. it's about existing in the world, making things so you feel alive, making the world a little more fuckin weird! do you get it yet?

#this has been in my drafts for a while and i meant to post it right after my show but. ough #pete said the thing about make weird art and he mentioned bracelets and i had made SO MANY bracelets #there was a kid maybe 11ish in the row behind me and i turned around during fake out to give her my fake out bracelet #and like. at the end pete had everybody clap for the venue and tech crew and that nearly made me cry #make the world a weirder place… the physical tactile things MATTER #she speaks! #fob #fall out boy #2ourdust #my show

[julijbee]

girlbossing too close to the sun.

#art #ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator #i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books #vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading #ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working #let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny.. #posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned. #morrowind #almalexia #vivec #im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment #so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized #it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor #and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result #i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was #vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking #acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention #like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is #but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc #anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving #but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials #and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc #so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize #and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough #the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right #that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things #and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that #important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree #oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad. #tes

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

#spn #vid #mind the warnings on this one for real #woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye. #pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl. #also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise #anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator #is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else #and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters #that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's #not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under #alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does #because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it #so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way #i am using them to make my argument. #oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to. #i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through #into everything in his life #that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.

[fromtheseventhhell]

The "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles" to "Lady of Winterfell and helping to rebuild the North after the Long Night" pipeline is real

#arya stark #asoiaf #I do think Arya would make an amazing councillor + it fits and prob the biggest thing that makes me think she won't #is that she directly states she wants to be that and that feels a little on the nose even for George #it could still be an in-universe subversion though since it isn't considered a typical thing for a Lady to be #but she /could/ also be one for a time by being on King in the North!Jon's council 🤩 #I would also give my left kidney for Queen Dany with Arya on her council but I'm not lucky enough to get that 😔 #King!Rickon with Arya as his council would also eat too though #so many options and I would love them all as long as Arya isn't reduced to serving another character and she gets her own agency #Thank God George loves her character and would never downplay her like that

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[mercisnm]

Sweater weather shenanigans

Plus the lines, before I throw colours on it like an excitable squirrel:

#yes i am aware that squirrels are colour blind #anyhow #sometimes i draw things #tissaia de vries #yennefer of vengerberg #it's been *cold* lately and i hate going outside so much #ill think of my blorbos being warm and cozy and comfy thank you #every lesbian's dream: to have an older girlfriend whose lap you can use as a pillow plus she will make you hot drinks if you ask nicely #yes tissaia in frumpy comfy cardigans. she has a collection of tartan blankets too. she's very Grandpa fight me #yennefer in one of those super large but comfy looking turtle neck cream colour sweaters and grey sweatpants #she wears the sweatpants as an experiment because everyone her age seems to go crazy over their partner wearing it so whats about tissaia #(tissaia doesn't give a shit about sweatpants. doesn't own them. doesn't need them. doesn't find them aesthetically pleasing) #(i've used the word comfy way too many times in these tags and i don't regret it one bit) #also i have that seal plush. just smaller

[cyb-organ]

happy lesbian visibilty week to her. i gave her a little bird

#yttd #my art #touko rikuno #yttd fanart #everytime i draw her it gets gradually more and more self indulgent but i promise this is rooted in canon #she refers to kai visiting her to give her materials and then leaving as #“like feeding pigeons in a park” the implication of course being that she is a pigeon #also yeah the big bird almost killing her thing but she made a pigeon metaphor which to me means she likes birds #headcanon time: she likes birdwatching or did as a kid and spent alot of time at the beach just watchin birds #i hit her with the autism beam im afraid #the highest honour to bestow #also if i were to add a symbolic meaning to the bird thing i would say her parents were really strict and restricted her freedom growing up #so she was drawn to the freedom of flight #which also plays into her icarus coding which is DEFINATELY real and canon and i DID NOT just make up #so many tags im sorry chat i promise im normal about ehr

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[burninginthegymplplinko]

MAG 102 - Nesting Instinct

doodle 102/200; days left 4/110 22/128

POV: Gertrude Robinson doesn't approve of ur new wife.

#tma #the magnus archives #gertrude robinson #gerard keay #gerry keay #tma 102 #mag 102 #tma s3 #at first gertrude had a lighter but then i was like 'u know what? i bet she had a flamethrower' #also this is the first time i remembered to draw gerry's tattoos (and u can barely see his hands akukugfh) #the non-statement part of this ep is so good but i wanted to draw something statement related ToT #too many cool things #sorry for any grammar mistakes but mum got angy at one politician and is giving me a lecture abt it and i cant concentrate

[jacarandaaaas]

I didn’t like how they drew mirabel in the w1sh end credits so I tried to do my own version lmao🦋✨

I’m not a fan of the pose they used in the original so I drew her in my fav promo pose <3 I feel like it captures her energy and vibe the best! Also the butterfly !!! I tried to make her eyes look less scary because they scare me in the original 💀 this was fun though! I love the glowy sparkle magic✨I hope I did best girl justice!

here’s the original with a bonus Bruno

#encanto #encanto disney #disneys encanto #mirabel madrigal #mirabel encanto #disney’s encanto #encanto fanart #encanto art #mirabel my beloved #I’m sorry the original gives me fnaf jumpscare #her eyes are so scary snd she’s like the sweetest ever she doesn’t deserve that #w*sh did so many things dirty including my girlie #I hope I did her justice #glowy sparkle magic is my fave #reminds me of waiting on a miracle #the visuals in that song GODDD #jacarandaaaaasart #this was purely self indulgent

[yellowsubiesdance]

i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume

for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.

and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.

all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.

HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.

you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.

#hazbin hotel spoilers #that’s not even touching on the fact that husk was an overlord too #he also owned souls that he used as currency to supply his gambling addiction #he’s also not a good person!! #the majority of these characters are in hell for a reason: they’re not good people #i quite frankly love the way this show blurs the lines between good and evil #our heroes are sinners and overlords and demons. while the enemies are angels. but that doesn’t mean our heroes are good people. #you HAAAVE to come to terms with that!! you have to stop seeing the world in black and white or you’re not going to survive this world #if you’re upset because alastor was cruel to husk fine! be upset! but explore why you’re taking yourself out of that world. #in this world sinners own other people. there’s no ifs ands or buts #‘oh alastor is a poc why would he own people’ he was a serial killer when he was alive do you really think you can apply your values to that #(and this is me speaking as a poc. specifically a mixed race poc.) #i cannot speak to who vivzie is as a person. but i’m interested in the message she’s writing and thus far i’m finding it compelling #it’s a similar story as the good place but it’s going the distance to explore even worse people than those in the good place #i don’t think it’s responsible to write something off just because unsavory things happen in it. #and she’s giving us so many different types of representation that don’t involve race (although we’re also getting a lot of hispanic rep) #just like cool your jets and maybe process some of the anger you’re feeling. and maybe nothing will change. #but if you act. instead of react. if you understand why you’re feeling some type of way and then make a choice. #that’s so much stronger and more responsible than reacting and not thinking anything through #hazbin hotel #alastor #husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin husk #anyway let me get off my soapbox #long post

[reinabeestudio]

Shares some quick studies of my wife when no one's looking

#undertale yellow #ut yellow #uty #starlo uty #uty starlo #fan art #my art #so many fucking tags help 💥 #this dude's head shape is a mystery to me. like i know it's a star but the thing is that i cant draw stars 0(-( #nor hats actually. this design is very yomielphobic /j #kinda man that says Aw shucks. guy that says Oh heavens #i have Many Thoughts about this silly sheriff. please talk to me i am Normal (<- real) (<- LIES SHE'S LYING RUN) #me vs the world (drawin starlo a bit wider bc he's still a farmer and not a twink /lh) #i've seen some people give him a tail tho... thats so darn cute.... #he's kind. he values & protects whats important to him. he's cute as well. he can sing. he's a dork. he can sew?? I'm buyin a ring right NO

[dizzybizz]

who else is a boy that loves pressing a mysterious button 🙋‍♂️

#🙋‍♂️ me !!! i am !!!!! #tgaa #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #dgs #obsessed with the way iris generalizes like “no that must be a boy thing bc the two boys i spend the most time w both do it” #shes so fkn funny man.. i lvoe the silly character interactions sm. literally spend so much time exhausting all the dialogue #i will click every little thing and i will do it even if i know theyre just gonna be like “we need to do smth else rn- remember??” #examine button my beloved. giving me so many treats. truly #guys im cooking rn we will see if it survives to see the day of light