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kweebtrash · 5 years

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Cupid’s Chokehold(M)

Messy Chapter 12

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, fluff

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: slight anxiety/panic attack, overthinking and nervousness, talks about therapy and medication,

Features: unprotected sex, car sex, creampie, oral(giving/receiving), swallowing, classroom sex, little bit of bondage, rough/cute sex, general biting and hair pulling.

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well my beautiful angel babies, it’s here, The final chapter. i’m a little emotional writing it because i know so many people enjoy it and it’s made me a lot of friends. i hope you guys like it. it’s a bit shorter than normal and not as angsty (LOL). thanks for being there with me and keeping up with all the updates and loving the characters as much as I do. Some things are left a bit open ended and aren’t delved into just because this was already following the course of a few months and I wanted to focus on JnEri instead of Eri’s other relationships at this moment. I hope you guys stay with me in my future endeavors and thanks for being so supportive. I love my nctzens! Also, i’m so nervous that this reads terribly and i really hope no one is disappointed.

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Johnny’s POV

They shoved me away harshly, so much so that I slipped out of them. Their breath was increasing into a hyperventilating state and all they could do was shake their hands to try and direct the panic somewhere else. "Eri! Eri! What's wrong?!" I grabbed onto their shoulders but they slapped my hands away.

"Don't! Don't touch me!" Suddenly my cheek was blazoned with red as they hit me. "Don't say that to me ever!"

"What the fuck?! What do you mean?!"

"You don't love me! Don't you dare fucking play games with me you asshole!"

"Games? I'm not playing games! I mean it! I've been in love with you for months now! I was just too chicken shit to say it...and this is why…" My heart felt like it was crushed into pieces at their rejection. It was what I feared the most, well that and not being able to get my shit together or put the burden of my mental incapabilities on them. I felt tears prickling at my eyes and swallowed hard, trying not to unravel before them.

"You said I would never be your girlfriend!"

"I LIED DAMNIT! I lied because I was scared! I lied because I didn't want you to know how I felt! It was a lie!"

"And you're lying now!!"

"I am not! Fuck, Eri!! I'm in love with you!! I. Love. You. You fucking idiot!!"

"You're the idiot!!" They screamed back. They were the one to cry first; big, rushed tears.

"Why do you think I'm lying?!"

"Because!!!" They hiccuped. "My ex girlfriend never loved me and the only other person that did, I broke his heart. I've never had love or accepted it. How could someone love me?"

"I love you because your gorgeous. You're talented. You're there for me. You make me laugh. You make me irritated. You the best cuddler. You listen to me. You never judged me. You want to protect me. You've taught me so much. You've been there for me. I love you because you're you."

"P-please…" Their voice lowered to the softest of whimpers. "Please don't say that, Johnny. Please don't. Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."

I cupped their face in my hands and pressed gentle kisses to their lips. "Baby, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm right here. Right here… I'm not leaving."

They clutched onto my sweatshirt tightly, their little hands trembling. "I don't want to hurt. I've been through so much. I'll fucking crumble, Johnny."

"Eri, I'm right there with you. You know that. I'm down on my knees and desperate for something good in my life. You're that something."

"No no no. No I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not." They shook their head and I felt like they were just speaking nonsense now.

"Eri… look at me." They shook their head harder and I tilted their chin up so their eyes could meet mine. "I'm not joking. I'm in love with you." Another round of tears burst forth and they shoved their head into my chest. I held them tight, rubbing their back and trying to get them to try and breathe a little better. "Ssh baby...sshhhh." After a few mostly silent moments of their breath evening out and their sniffles dissipating, they finally spoke out in a whisper.

"I love you too."

I froze then. What? Did they just-? After all of that that was how they felt? I held them at arms length and looked at them, confused. "You-? You-?"

They scrubbed the tears away from their cheeks and exhaled a shaky breath. "I never thought I could or I would. I never thought you would. I fell for you faster than I ever had before. I've wanted you for so long and thought you were still a fuckboy who didn't want a relationship and just wanted to fuck around. You stupid bastard, I hate you for making me fall in love with you. I'm so scared…"

"Me too. I've never had a relationship where I've been in love before. I don't know what to do, I just...feel it."

"So...what do we do?" They asked.

"Do you want to make it "official"?"

We both sat awkwardly and in silence for a moment. Eri clasped their hands in their lap while I bounced my leg nervously. "Like...you're my boyfriend now?"

"Yeah. That."

"Oh."

I pushed my hair back then twiddled my thumbs. Jesus, fuck, why were they taking so long? What did it take to get them to say yes? Or no. Fuck, what if they said no? They wouldn't, would they? Oh god.

Suddenly they kissed me, catching me off guard. They wrapped their arms around my neck and sighed softly. "You're my boyfriend."

"About damn time." I chuckled and grabbed onto them, showering them in kisses and hugs.

"Stop being so lovey dovey! It's gross!" They giggled.

"Yeah right! You like it."

"I do. Also, I don't celebrate Valentine's day, just so you know."

"Thank God. I normally just deal with Jae's birthday so I don't have time for it but since Quinn will distract him maybe you could sit on my lap while I'm inside you and watch horror movies?"

"Hmmm, we haven't done that in awhile. I want that. Give me that. And pizza."

"You got it." I smiled and gave them another kiss. "My girlfriend."

"Speaking of being inside me...you were still hard that whole time."

"Yyyeeaaahhhhhh don't remind me. It takes forever to go down sometimes." I shoved my face in their chest to hide my awkwardness and embarrassment.

"Well….we should celebrate right? Maybe we could-?" Their hand slipped between us to rub at my erection and grip it slightly. “You know...”consummate the relationship” or whatever the fuck they say.”

"You don't have to tell me twice." I was so glad to get rid of all the tension and fear, everything that was holding me back from ever confessing. Here I was with my girlfriend, about to make love to them even if it was in the back of my shitty car. It didn’t matter because I was with them and I always would be. I laid them back down and wrapped their legs around my waist before plunging back inside. It was perfect now, everything was perfect. The way they felt around me, the way I felt inside them, this moment, and being with them. I never wanted to let them go. I fucked them slower, like I had been before with no protests. It was still a bit strange to grasp the concept of making love as I had never said that in reference to any of my hookups, but of course this was different. Eri wasn’t just a hookup anymore. They were the love of my life. Even our kisses were slower and the sensation of their tongue flowing over mine flowed straight to my cock. They let out a little gasp when I adjusted my hips to roll into them. "Good?" I panted.

They nodded and dug their fingernails into my lower back, hiking their legs up higher. "There...hmm!"

It was so cute to hear how good I was making them feel. I nudged my lips beneath their jaw and give it a small bites as I moved faster. "You feel so damn good, Eri." I whispered in their ear.

Their legs tightened around me and our hands suddenly came together squeezing tight as we didn't want to let go. With my other free hand I shifted it into the minimal space between us to give well deserved attention to their clit. Eri arched as their walls clamped down around me tight. When they did that my body would go insane. That tightness engulfing me made me a mess and I wanted to cum so bad. They seemed close too as they were now rolling their hips to collide with my own and get there faster. Their hand burrowed into my hair, seizing a fistfull as I felt their cum envelop me. I braced myself against the door chasing after their orgasm with heavy pants and groans. My mind was mush now, my hips snapping harder, and body finally sweltering in the cold air. I felt my cock swell and I remembered that they were going to swallow.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a loud honk that scared the shit out of me. I had no idea why that ended up triggering my cum to release, maybe the sudden movement or the fact that Eri would ease up on their suffocating tightness but thick ropes of cum painted their insides. I couldn't help by throw my head back and let out the deepest moan. Even if it was a mistake that feeling was so fucking amazing. "Johnny!!!" They yelled, snapping me out of my bliss. "You idiot! I told you not to!!"

"I was about to pull out! It was an accident!" I wiped away the fog from the window and saw that Jae and Quinn we're now approaching. "Fuck! It's them! They're here!"

"Oh Jesus, great! How the fuck am I supposed to clean this up? Do you have any napkins or something??" I pulled out slowly and just pulled up my underwear and sweats not caring about the uncomfortable wetness. Besides it definitely wasn't as bad as what I made Eri deal with.

"No, I don't think so. I'm sorry. Just like...maybe stay still and it won't come out?"

"Great. Wonderful. I swear to god Johnny I'm gonna kill you."

Yes, yes I know." I shoved my hoodie down lower to try and cover my slowly disappearing hard on so Jae wouldn't see it. He knocked on the window and I opened the door, getting out to open the hood of my car. I turned back towards Eri as they shimmied down their dress slowly, trying as much as possible not to move as they clenched their thighs tight. "We'll be out of here in no time and then you can shower, I promise."

"Just tell Jae to hurry the fuck up." They hissed.

"I will!....I love you." I said as a goodbye.

I could tell that made them smile at least.

Eri's POV

He was stupid and amazing and perfect. I hated him and loved him at the same time for making me feel a plethora of ooey gooey lovey dovey gushy feelings. Even if he had disobeyed my orders, his cum inside me felt oddly comforting. I never really told him outright that I liked it. I didn't want him to get used to it and play the dangerous line of creating a hellspawn. As I tried to stay as still as a statue Quinn jumped in the car. "Move your legs!" They said. "I'm gonna sit down."

"I can't," I grumbled.

"What? Why?"

"He came inside me…"

"ERI!!"

"I KNOW! I DONT WANT IT IN THERE BUT IT IS AND HE DOESNT HAVE TISSUES SO IM SUFFERING OK?!"

"Jesus Christ. You guys really fucked in the back of his car?"

"Yeah...and...I have to tell you something."

Their eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

"I um...kinda, sorta, maybe have a boyfriend now."

"FINALLY!!" Quinn, and outside, Jae, yelled. I assumed Johnny had told his best friend as they were hooking up the jumper cables. "Took you idiots long enough! I'm still gonna murder him."

"Please don't. He's good, I promise. He's not as bad as he seems. We really care about each other. He said he loved me first."

"Oh, shit. I never expected that." They sighed. "Fine. But if he so much as has ONE fuck up I'm burying him 20 feet underground."

"Uh, it's 6 feet." I corrected.

"Not the way I'm planning it." Quinn shuffled through their handbag and pulled out a pack of tissues. "See if there's enough to clean up."

"Hopeful fucking ly. That dude cums like a super soaker." I shifted my dress up and carefully sat up. "Well don't look."

"I'm not! That's weird!" With enough space now to sit, they plopped down beside me as I tended to this irritating mess.

Johnny got back into the car and turned on the engine and I was grateful to hear it roar to life. "Thank fuck! Alright babe, we're going home!"

"Yeah, thank fuck! Don't ever take me to this place again in the winter. I'm not about getting stranded!"

"Good job, lover boy." Quinn quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it half pint. And get out of my car. We're gonna leave."

"Johnny be nice before I throw this jizz tissue at you."

"Oh god, please don't." He cringed.

Quinn scrunched their face in disgust and stepped out. "I'll leave you guys to it and meet you back at the house later on."

"You got it."

"And please, for the love of God, do not fuck on the couch."

"It was one time!" Johnny and I said in unison.

Quinn slammed the door shut as Jae closed the hood and tapped it. "You're good to go bro!"

Johnny waved at him and Jae tossed his jumper cables in his trunk before he and Quinn got in the car and drove off. I switched from the backseat to up front, tossing the tissues on the ground (because where the hell else was I supposed to put them), and settled in. Johnny held my hand as he drove off. The heat was finally on and at last I wasn't freezing anymore. In fact I was happier than I had ever been in a very long time.

Being with Johnny had its ups and downs. We weren't perfect and had some kinks to work through but it was still enjoyable. Our first big argument came when I told him he needed therapy to work through his PTSD and anxiety. He had refused each time i brought it up and it put a strain on us. I wanted him to at least get some sort of help. I couldn’t be his therapy or spend our entire relationship trying to fix him. When he finally agreed to go i was so happy and gave him all of the encouragement that he needed. He even started a medication treatment and it seemed to be working for the most part. But it also changed him to a point where a distancing wedge was placed between us.

It started one night when my limbs were wrapped around him and our lips were in a flurry of never ending kisses. He was thrusting in me, vigorously at first but it had slowed down to an awkward pace that I wasn’t sure how to keep up with. Then he stopped completely.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered before I tried to kiss him again.

He snapped his head back and sighed. “I’m sorry i just...i’m not into it anymore.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. My Johnny, practically a nymphomaniac, wasn’t into sex anymore? My mind instantly panicked. We had been fucking so much since we had become an official couple that maybe he had gotten tired of me. Shit, was I getting boring? Was I not doing things he liked? My heart was pounding incredibly fast and I struggled to say a few words. “O-oh...is it something I did?”

He pulled out and laid beside me, folding his forearm over his eyes. “No, it’s not you. I just-” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I pulled the covers over me and closed my legs. “Um...is it stress, you think? You’re graduating in two months.”

“Maybe. Can I just sleep here?”

“Of course.” I said softly. I wasn’t sure what to make of this or if i should press him further. It could have been something in passing. I mean, there were plenty of times were I started masturbating and then just didn’t feel it anymore. I hoped that was the case and not that he wasn’t attracted to me or something. Our time laying together was filled with an uncomfortable silence. I rolled onto my side and tried to distract myself with my phone as silent tears spilled down my face.

Weeks had passed by since we touched each other. Not having sex wasn’t the end of the world, of course. I still loved him unconditionally and wouldnt leave him for something so trivial. But there was still a part of me that even craved our makeout and grinding sessions on the couch while some movie or tv show played in the background. Those were rare now but there was one night where I was a bit lucky. He had initiated it which made me excited that I was still attractive to him. Even though that seemed like such a stupid thing to worry about, I couldnt help it. Sure, we had cuddled, held hands, and did some minor kissing throughout this dry spell but when he was buried inside me it always made me feel giddy and warm, like a lovestruck idiot.

With his lips on me and getting rougher by the second, I pushed him down onto the couch and crawled on top of him, barely breaking our connection. He groaned softly and made a break to grab two handfuls of my ass and push me forward to grind on him. I took the hint and worked my hips over the center of his jeans eagerly. I parted from his sinful lips and buried my face against his neck to deeply kiss and nip at the skin there. I wanted to show him how much I needed him and how he made me an eager mess. I shoved my hands under his shirt and rubbed my hand over the soft hair on his stomach, swallowing back my squeal of delight. It always drove me insane to feel the dips of his abs and the trail of hair that lead to his cock. My hand was starting to follow that path when he whispered my name.

"U-uh, Eri."

I nipped at his ear and panted. "Yes, daddy?"

"Eri, I think-"

I kissed him again and smirked. "Don't think, just fuck." My lips made their way down his torso to the waistband of his jeans that I was trying to pry open.

"E-eri, um...hold on…"

"Oh yeah you're right," I giggled. "If we're on the couch Quinn and Jae will whine. But...we might have time for juuuusssttt a little fun." I started to unbutton his pants but he grabbed my hands roughly.

"Eri stop!"

I squeaked in surprise and stared at him wide-eyed. He shoved me away and sat up, adjusting his clothes and avoiding eye contact. I didn't know he had wanted me to stop. I didn't think he had even said stop before then. Oh god, I just traumatized him even more. "I-im sorry! Did you say stop before? Oh god, you did, didn't you? Johnny!"

"No I hadn't said anything before then. But maybe take a fucking hint next time."

"I..I mean I thought we were okay...that you were okay." I said softly as I covered my face with my hands and hid away from him, feeling like I was a total monster. He scooted closer to me on the couch and hugged me from behind.

"No, I'm sorry.” He sighed and kissed my temple. “It's me. It's just me. I'm just still irritated at the fact that I can't do it. It just won't happen."

I turned towards his chest and buried my face in it. "I don't want to hurt you like that, Johnny. Please, I never-"

He kissed my forehead then my lips. "I promise you a thousand percent it wasn't you. My head is still just...a mess."

I set my hand in his and rested my head against his shoulder. "Are you talking about it in therapy?"

"Yeah...we have been for the past couple of sessions. It's a lot and I don't like it." He confessed.

"Do you think maybe that's why you don't want to have sex? Like bringing up all those emotions, especially with all the stuff with Rixi...maybe it's just making it harder?" I should've seen this ahead of time. I mean, I'm his fucking girlfriend and if I hadn't been so selfish I would be able to tell what was actually wrong. instead i was worrying about my appearance and his attraction to me. I wanted to kick myself.

"Potentially. I'm still not sure. I know you've been wanting to for weeks and I keep ruining stuff."

"No, you're not ruining anything. I'm being a selfish brat. I seriously can't believe that it didn’t cross my mind that you would be talking about it in therapy and it would affect how you felt. Like how stupid am I? Of course that would happen???" I groaned in frustration. "I'm not being a good girlfriend…"

"You're being a great girlfriend, babe. We just gotta work through some stuff together, you know? You're always there for me and I promise I'll get better." I ran my fingers over the lines on his palm and sniffled just a bit. I still felt guilty, way too guilty for not stopping, for not thinking past my own needs, for taking his love for granted. It made my stomach churn. I felt Johnny press his lips to the top of my head again and enclose my hand in his. "Want to cuddle, maybe?"

I laughed and smiled a bit. He had definitely turned into the bigger cuddler after we had become official. "You're a big baby, you know that?"

"I am not! You're just comfy and so soft i cant help it. Come on, pllleeeaaasseee?"

I wiped at my eyes and stood up. "Fine, lets go." I dragged him along to my room. The problem was I forgot that I had my binder spread out on my bed as I had been organizing my kpop photocards before he had arrived. I was too embarrassed to let him see and rushed over to gather the cards and shove them haphazardly into the binder. I tossed it on my desk, hoping that he didn't really pay attention to what it was but when I turned around he had a card between his index and middle finger. "You dropped your Sehun card." He snorted.

I snatched it quickly and held it to my chest. "Shut up." I growled.

"So that's why you're dating me, huh? You wanna live out your idol fantasy?" He joked, but the words stung.

"No...that's why I never talk about it with you. That's the last thing I wanted you or anyone else to think. I didn't go after anyone just because of their race. I don't want to be seen as that type of person because I know plenty of people that do. I never wanted you to feel like I was fetishizing you. I get enough of that in my own community."

"Babe, it's not that serious. It's ok."

"It is serious to me...I know a girl that specifically sleeps with Asian guys because of kpop. I get that people have a "preference" but I think "preferences" about race are just an excuse."

"I mean I don't really see race…" He said quietly.

"You should. It'll help you understand the problems I go through and even what your people go through in America. It's not a bad thing; it's an educational thing." I sighed. "Anyway, the point is that-"

"You can talk to me about kpop or Korean shit or whatever you want. I don't see you as a fetishizer or anything like that. And I certainly don't give a fuck about what your race is. I mean I do in the sense that it's important to you but if you were something else but still had your personality and I fell in love with you it would be all the same to me." He ruffled my hair which made me shove him away gently. "Besides you tell me about your hair stuff all the time even though I don't exactly get it I think it's interesting."

I put my photocard on my desk and avoided looking at him. "I'm sorry. It's just something I think about a lot…"

"Well don't. Fuck what anyone says." He pulled me into my bed and laid down, keeping me close. "Wanna hear something funny?"

I knew he was trying to lighten the mood and make me not feel as shitty. I agreed to hear him out, gently running my fingers through his hair like he loved so much. "Ok, shoot."

"I wanted to be an idol when I was younger."

"Oh my god, really?!" I asked, totally shocked.

"Yup. I even started training for a bit; going back and forth between America and Korea. But it started to get super annoying. It was like I wasn't getting anywhere. Then I started to think I would never debut. Like I'd be stuck training for like 10 years and join one of those ridiculous groups with like 40 members or some shit and I wouldn't get to showcase any of my talents. They would underestimate my singing and slap some autotune on it even though I personally don't think I need it. Or I would get all of like...2 lines in a song or something like that."

"Yeah...a few of my favorites are like that and I hate it."

"I'm sure I wouldn't even be able to play the piano or dj anymore and I would just be the "English member" that could do all the interviews. Plus I'd be away from my mom for so long that I started to hate that too. So I basically quit and attended college here for what I really wanted to do and just did music on the side. I didn't want to lose my passion for it anymore."

"I have no idea what you would be like as an idol. I feel like everyone would screenshot you being a giant meme and you would trip on everything. Oh and of course allll the fangirls would talk about your cute butt and your nice arms."

"I bet you do that to your biases." He teased.

"....this isn't about me right now."

"I think I would like all the girls fawning over me. Not the crazy ones but like the ones that like put all the hearts all over my pictures and make nice fansites. And I would have to read all the fanfiction people write and laugh my ass off."

"Don't do that! That's like every writers worst nightmare!" I exclaimed.

"And you would know how exactly?"

"......again this isn't about me."

He snorted and shifted to lay on his back. "I should have expected nothing else."

"Shut up!! This is why I didn't tell you anything!" I covered my face and rolled away from him but he instantly spooned me and squeezed me to him.

"You always call me a dork but you're the real dork here." He kissed my cheek playfully before resting his head on my shoulder. I held his hand that was around my waist and exhaled softly.

"Let's just never leave bed or think about bad shit anymore."

"Sounds like a deal. I like it. Then I wouldn't have to think about all this old trauma."

"I know. You should keep going to therapy though. I'm glad you're doing that at least. I'm proud of you." I leaned back into his warmth and kissed his cheek.

"I know. I'll keep doing it. It's just a pain in the ass and these meds are fucking with me. It's so hard to get used to them."

"Trust me. I was the same way when I first started. But I changed and adjusted them all the time. It takes awhile to find your cocktail. When I got on one of my meds it skyrocketed my sex drive and now I'm a hoe so." I joked and laughed a bit.

"Wait, was it low before?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I would say it was average for the most part. But after my girlfriend I didn't have sex with anyone except Jungwoo and that was only once. Then Quinn started convincing me to do hookups and stuff and with the meds I changed to it just worked out I guess."

"Huh…"

"What?"

"Nothing...just interesting is all. Do some meds lower your labido or something?"

"Some do." I said. "It can affect appetite, sleep, thoughts of suicide. It just depends. That's why you adjust and work through some different kinds. It takes some time, so don't worry about it now."

"Fuck, you're so smart. That makes total sense."

"Not smart, just have experience." I shifted around so I could lay my head on his chest and bury myself into him. "Let's sleep for a bit. Clear your head so we don't have to talk about heavy stuff anymore."

He hummed in agreement and pulled the covers over us but I probably fell asleep faster than he did.. Sleeping to forget was always our favorite past time but it seemed a little less worse when I had him by my side.

He had been busy for a bit with all his meetings with his adviser, preparing for his finals, and making sure that he was ready to go for his graduation. We weren't able to see each other that often. Even his texts were more sporadic and though I missed him so fucking much this was an important milestone in his life. I only had a year left myself and I knew he would be there for me when my time came to graduate. I would often cuddle with his shirts while I slept just to feel like I had him close by. He had told me how he liked to sleep with the little rilakkuma keychain he had gotten months ago because it reminded him of me. We had similar feeling in wanting to keep each other close and it made me so so happy.

What also made me happy was that his portfolio show was coming up. Everyone would be able to see all the work and effort he had done as a photographer throughout his school career. It was one of the most important nights for him. I had been so excited and waiting for this for awhile now. He would still be busy in the gallery but at least I could be by his side and feel him close to me. I did myself up, making sure I wore a cute dress and my makeup was a bit more subtle than usual. I stuffed my hair into a more sleek bun and tried my damnedest to walk in some black heels I had laying around. When I arrived at the art building, the gallery show was going on full swing and I could see professors and head of departments looking at all the students works. I stepped into the space, immediately grabbing a free glass of champagne and a cheese cube they had on the refreshment table. With the cheese gone and champagne downed I click clacked my way through the wooden floor space looking for my boyfriend.

I found him caught up in a conversation that I didn't want to interrupt. I stood back, close to a wall but not disturbing any of the art pieces. My eyes wandered over his frame taking in the burgundy button up shirt and the tight fitting black dress pants that he wore. Dress pants were literally made for his ass and I found myself biting into my lower lip as I stared longer and longer. Even his thighs seemed to stretch out the fabric and I couldn't help but remember how good he looked when we got dressed up for the quince. I was already getting flustered, like an idiot, over someone that was already mine but he looked so good I couldn't help it. While I was still staring I noticed his legs starting to move towards me and instantly looked up.

"Hey, beautiful." He leaned down and gave me a kiss. I held onto his shoulders already melting at the smell of his woodsy cologne.

"Hey yourself. You look so good. And you smell good and-"

"Should I squirt you with a water bottle, horndog?" He chuckled.

My face flushed with embarrassment. "What?! No! I just...you look nice is all. I was admiring your handsomeness."

"And my ass, right?"

"I can't help that you have the cutest little butt ever, ok?" I pouted and crossed my arms a bit. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, him? He's the head of my department. He was telling me about some interning opportunities because he really likes my work. I think I'm gonna check them out."

"Whoa, really? Johnny, that's awesome!"

He smiled, bright and perfect as usual. "Yeah, I'm super fucking stoked. I'm gonna stop by his office next week to get more info and start applying but I'm hype as all hell."

I gave him another kiss and hugged him. "I hope you get one. This will be really good for you."

"Yeah. Who knows? Maybe we can work for the same magazine. You write and I take pictures."

"Oh yeah? Then you can come with me all over Europe to all the cool metal festivals."

He put his arm around my waist and took me away from my place by the wall. "I wouldn't mind that. I like traveling. Do you wanna see my stuff?"

"Of course! You never really showed me your work except from the pictures on your Instagram. I've been excited for this all day."

His cheeks turned a bit rosy and he clammed up for a moment as we walked to the far end of the gallery where his pieces were. When I looked up at the mounted pictures I took a step back. My breath practically ceased and my throat closed up. What the hell should I even say?

"Are they bad…?" He asked softly.

I was looking at myself. Dozens of pictures of myself in different settings. I had even recognized the picture he took of me on the night of his birthday party- the one where he had told me I was beautiful. I was crying, I was laughing, I was smoking, drinking, dancing, playing guitar. All these personal moments that he was now a part of and I never even knew it. I felt a lot of things, some that caught me off guard even. I felt a bit mad that he never warned me he was taking them. I felt embarrassed and shy for being captured so rawly. But I also felt honored that he would want to take pictures of me and display them for his final gallery. He had taken a chance with these pictures of me and showed it to the people who would judge him and sign off on his graduation. He had made me so vital to his career already and here I was absolutely speechless. All I could do was squeeze his hand tightly as a few tears slid down my cheeks.

"Eri, are you ok?"

"Why me?" I finally said.

"Because you're my muse. You're the realest person I know and I hate synthesized photos. I like capturing the reality of the world and what better way to do it then with the person who basically has had as much hurt and lost as I have." I didn't want anyone else to see me cry so I turned myself inwards towards his chest as more tears fell down my face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I never expected this...I never expected anyone to love me this much…"

"Well I do. And I don't regret submitting these for my final show. I chose these for a reason."

"Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"I had planned to but everything got into the way and it turned out being a surprise. So...surprise, yaaayyy." He tried to make the air between us lighter though I was still a hot mess. When I stayed quiet he let out a small sigh. "You hate it."

"I don't. It's just a shock to me, that's all. I feel like I'm responsible if they don't accept you or give you good notes on your gallery."

"Don't feel that way. I did what I did and like I said I don't regret it. Not one bit. I want to spend my career still photographing things that I love. You're one of those things."

"When did you start being less of a fuckboy?" I chuckled and sniffled as I wiped my eyes gently so I wouldn't smear my eyeliner.

"When I foun out that I wasnt invincible and someone made me feel like I was nothing. You made me realize I was worthy. And then I fell in love." He stared off at the pictures and I couldn't believe how confidently he was saying those words to me. Months ago he had been afraid to even tell me that he loved me. Now he could say things that made my heart want to pop out of my chest like an old school cartoon.

"You're really something else, Johnny Suh, you know that?"

"So I've been told." He rubbed my back gently before stepping away from me a bit. "Do you mind if I mingle a bit more? I want to do it before I want to kill myself from all the socializing."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Go ahead. It'll give me a chance to walk around and see how lame these other photographers are."

"Eri, don't be like that. Some of them are my friends. I appreciate you liking my stuff though." He kissed the back of my hand before heading off towards the gallery entrance. I took a few pictures of Johnny's work and sent them to Quinn before I started walking around. The show went on much later than I expected and I stayed the whole time just to keep up my support but my feet were absolutely killing me. Beauty is pain, that's for sure. I found a spare chair to occupy and plopped down to give my feet a rest. There weren't many people left and Johnny was helping to clean up and collect his photos to put back into his portfolio. He met me at the chair and extended a hand to me. "Ready to go?"

"Mhm." I took his hand and stood up slowly. "My feet are killing me. Why were heels even invented?"

"You don't have to wear heels if you don't want to. I hate them anyway. I like you extra short for me."

"Yeah I know, jerk. At this rate you're gonna have to carry me to the car." I hobbled behind him as he started walking out of the gallery space with my hand in his.

"I will, just let me put my portfolio in the art space. It's just down the hall."

I nodded and clutched onto his arm, walking beside him as we talked about the show a bit. The art space was an older classroom with a large wooden structure with different slots for students to house their work. When we went in the room was pitch black and Johnny turned on the light briefly to set his portfolio case into his slot. When he came back to my side I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "What's that for?" He chuckled.

"Because I'm a gooey, proud, happy mess for my man."

"And you say I'm a big baby." He set his hands on my hips and gave me another kiss which morphed into a us not separating for awhile. I held onto him tighter, pressing my chest against his as he moved me back towards a spare table that hadn't been occupied. "O-oh. Sorry." He whispered against my lips.

I shook my head and pulled him down to resume our heated kiss, begging for more. My hands were exploring every inch of his torso and gripping at his shirt as I whimpered against his lips. His fingers were clawing at the zipper of my dress, pulling it down and yanking the top part off my shoulders. He made quick work of my strapless bra, tossing it aside as his lips wrapped around my nipple, kneading as he sucked and groaned around the tender area. His other hand didn't devoid me of attention either. He had managed to trap my other nipple between his index and middle fingers, adding pressure as he groped and kneaded as well. It felt so so good even within the short amount of time. It was mostly because i hadn't seen this side of him in almost two months. My body instantly snapped to craving to be beneath him but my mind reeled it back instantly. What if it was just his small bursts that would start eager but fizzle out right after? I couldn't take that much teasing, as horrible as it sounded, but i knew he also shouldn't try and force himself to have sex just to make me happy

"H-hey, Johnny. You don't have to…" I swallowed back a small groan and tried to steady my breath. "We really shouldn't, e-e-especially if you're not ready. Please, i just can't take-"

"Mhm, do you want me to stop?" He spoke. His puppy dog eyes had shifted into something more devious but i couldn't be sure.

I set my hands on his shoulders to try and keep him at bay. "It's ok. We don't have to. I know you've been trying to work up your sexual appetite more but i dont think rushing through it like this is the answer. So maybe we should-"

"I want you."

I sighed. "I want you too, love, but if we go any further, it could be dangerous and I don't want that on either of our conscience. Lets just-"

"Not on my conscience. I want you."

He was starting to get a little too stubborn for my liking. "Johnny, we can have sex when you're ready. I'm not rushing this and you can't-"

"Eri, you dont fucking understand!" He cupped my face suddenly before chuckling. "I talked to my doctor about it and one of the side effects of my meds was a lower labido, like you had said, so i told him we had to fucking fix that. I got on a booster to go along with it and... well...i really really want to fuck you."

Oh.

Ohhh…

"So you're...ok? I mean to like do stuff? Do you think you really are? If you want to stop mid way again then that's fine! I just want to-"

"Eri, i am going to fuck you now and when im done, we're gonna go home and im gonna cook you pancakes and let you rest for a bit before i ruin you entirely, got it?"

I instantly felt that sentence go straight to my clit in the most agonizing feeling. I had been waiting weeks to hear him say something like this and now that it was happening, I was already a mess and surprised that he wasn't scraping me off the floor yet. I pulled his hands away from my face and leaned in to bury myself in his neck. "Yes daddy."

"I made my princess wait long enough i think." He grabbed a hold of the back of my thighs and lifted me onto the table. He didn't waste any more time in pulling down my panties and spreading my legs apart. He inhaled sharply when he finally saw me, staring for just a moment. I was confused, even a bit self conscious, but that went away the moment he dedicated minutes on end to kissing every inch of my legs and moving up towards my thighs. It had been a little 0-100 but with the way we had been craving each other, neither of us wanted to stop even if we were out in the open. He bit at my inner thighs, making me wince but desire the feeling more and more. He wrapped his strong arms around them and kept me as close as possible to his face as he sucked deeper and harder on the sensitive skin. He was trying to leave behind imprints of his teeth and bruises that would make me ache for days after. I knew he loved my thighs but with his lips being so close to where i wanted him to be the most he had me wiggling my hips in earnest. He disappeared completely under my dress so i only saw the form of his head beneath the fabric.

I could hear a soft grumble as his tongue parted my folds and swept up towards my clit. His fingers dug into my hips as mine scratched into the wood beneath me. His lips wrapped around my clit hungrily, deeply sucking until the blood rushed south and made me throb. He switched his tactics as soon as i arched slightly and let out a breathy moan, just to spite me, i was sure. He always liked to tease me, especially when he had practiced so much and found out what i liked most. The tip of his tongue was now creating lazy patterns between my inner lips and circling around my entrance, not daring to go any further just yet. My toes squeaked against the inner soles of my heels as they curled hard. I didn’t want to make any sounds and draw attention to the room though I was sure we were the only ones left in the building at this point. I breathed out his name in a soft beg as my need became more and more dire. “Please don’t tease me, Johnny. Please don’t…”

I felt his chuckle vibrate against my inner lips. “Sorry, I’m just so used to torturing you like this. Do you want me to make you cum like this first?”

“Y-yes! Make me cum however many times you want, pleasepleaseplease.”

“Damn...my princess really is needy.”

I wanted to kick him with the edge of my shoe for being a little shit but decided to behave. His tongue blessed me by plunging in finally, that warmth trailing through the beginnings of my walls and making more and more moans want to surface. He moved his hand from my hip to swipe his thumb over my clit. They were small strokes at a gentle speed to not take away from the magic of his tongue. He buried himself deeper, faster, hungrier to the point where he himself was making small growls against me. I pulled my dress up further on my waist to grab onto a fistfull of hair, careful not to pull him towards me. He had gotten used to me pulling his hair while he was down there but pulling him closer was a no go and stirred too many bad feelings for him. There were plenty of times where I had to remind myself to be cautious as it had been something I was so used to in the past. But a rough tug to jerk his head was enough for him to yank me to the edge of the table and and groan like a wolf in heat. He parted from me to grab a hold of my ankles and set my feet on the table leaving me to be splayed out for him. With such easy access his fingers were able to force their way in, two at first, and dig through my need.

While his tongue made long licks from the top of my entrance to my clit his fingers pushed and pulled in an incessant beat. I rolled my hips with him, plunging his fingers further and his face to be buried against me. A third finger slipped in to stretch me and i gripped onto his wrist as he nudged at a spot deep within me. My nails were creating marks into his skin and I could feel the pulse of his veins beneath my fingertips. “Here?” He asked simply. I nodded furiously and bit into my bottom lip. It was getting harder to stay quiet even if my moans and squeaks weren’t loud to begin with. With his idle hand he spread apart my lips to flicker his tongue directly on my clit. I clamped down around his fingers as my first orgasm hit me in a sudden wave. He kept his fingers inside me but slowed his licks until he stopped completely. He pulled away from me, wiping his face with the back of his hand before pulling his fingers out. He then grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me so I sat up and tapped his cum covered fingers against my lips. I instantly opened my mouth and accepted them, sucking lewdly to get my taste off.

I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as I tried to get it open to feel his muscles underneath. He worked with my fingers to free them and tugged off his shirt, pulling his fingers from my mouth to get it off completely. I licked my lips as I grabbed at his belt next, tugging it open and going for the fly of his pants. He shook his head and snatched it from the belt loops before grabbing my hands. He set them behind my back and wrapped the leather around my wrists, pulling it tightly and locking it into the buckle. I didn’t even pout, only latched my legs around his thighs to pull him closer. He shoved down his pants and underwear, palming himself for a bit before plunging into me. Both of us stopped, panting softly and realizing how perfect we felt when we were connected. It had been months since we started our celibacy spell and now that it was over it seemed so surreal.

“Holy-’

“Fuck.” I finished for him.

We looked at each other and kind of laughed before he cupped my face and kissed me hard. “You asshole, i love you so much.”

“M-me too. So fucking much…”

He buried his face in my neck then and pressed his hand onto my lower back. His hips pulled away and snapped harshly, filling me with a thunderous burst of pleasure. I needed that rawness and passion that he gave me every time we got lost in each other. He thrusted over and over, making the table shake beneath me. I rocked my hips fast to meet him, my mind making me blurt out whatever begs and pleads that popped into my train of thought. I wished I could touch him, that little bastard and his kinky ideas. I taught him too much. He kissed his way up my neck and nipped at my ear. I felt his warm breath against my lobe as he whispered, “Bite me.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I dove towards his collarbone, latching onto the thin skin and sinking my teeth in. He hissed and snapped his hips harder while i sucked deeply and pulled a colorful hickey to the surface.

He pounded faster getting more relentless in feeling my walls wrapped around him. My legs were trembling and struggling to keep their hold around him. I swallowed hard and pressed my forehead to his. "J-johnny…" I had no idea what I wanted to say but I felt the urge to beg for him.

He licked my lips and added a small nibble to the bottom one. "I want to bend you over this fucking table."

"Then do it. Make me yours."

"You're already mine." He yanked my hips off the table top and forced my torso down onto it, making my dress pool around my ankles. "You're usually on all fours on your bed. I haven't fucked you over a table or counter in a minute." He grabbed onto the loose end of the belt and tugged my arms back roughly. His other hand forced my hips back as he reentered me, ramming my hip bone into the edge of the table. I winced and gasped deeply as my legs almost gave out then and there. He used the hold on my arms as leverage to get the best angle and plow straight towards my stomach. His foot kicked my feet apart more and I could hear his satisfied chuckle behind me.

Johnny pressed himself close to my back and nudged his lips against me, signaling me to face him. His tongue pried open my lips, giving me no time to adjust to the thick invasion. We exchanged moans and suckled at each other until I felt my arms start to tingle. Pain was shooting up my forearms and I could hardly feel my fingers. "J-Joh…" He cut me off by filling my mouth again. I shook my head and tried to pull away. "Too tight!"

"What? You mean you're too tight?"

"Belt. The belt. It hurts. Take it off." I whimpered.

"Oh! Fuck, shit, okay! Hold on." He pulled away from me and untied the belt from my wrists, finally setting me free. I shook out the numb feeling and held onto my wrists that were bright red and starting to fade to purple. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry." He rubbed his hands over my arms, helping to get the feeling back as well.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It just hurts a bit. That's all.”

“I’m so sorry...” He whispered.

I took his arms and wrapped them around my waist, leaning back into his shoulder a bit. “I’m okay. Promise. Please keep going.”

“I don’t want to hurt you again. Should I...keep you bent over?”

I giggled. He could always turn into a soft dom at the drop of a hat. “Yes, keep me bent over. I want it like that.”

He nodded and kissed my neck gently. He morphed our hands together and planted them on the table, pressing me back into a bent position. My fingers clenched around his when i felt him thrust and my eyes fluttered shut. Each grind, thrust, and roll of hi hips dug deeper into me, resurfacing my quivering thighs and months of need. Johnny left blazoned trails of stinging bites down my spine as his blunt nails dug into the palm of my hand. My favorite little growls rang in my ear and i slammed myself back against him, wanting to hear more. our bodies were harshly slapping together now, echoing in the big room, repeating the sounds of skin on skin, rough contact with wood, and the table squeaking back little by little. The sounds were lost on us entirely. Even our pants and moans seemed to disappear as we vanished into a void of each other. Nothing was more important to me then his satisfaction and i knew he felt the same. We were chasing each other incessantly, begging for release until i broke first, practically crumbling beneath his heavy body. The table prevented me from falling onto my weakened legs and of course i couldn’t move being trapped between it and Johnny. I heard my orgasm each time he pounded into me, sloppier than the last and trembling with anticipation. I wiggled myself back against him and gave him a warning so he could pull out.

He finally let me go and braced himself on the table, dribbles of sweat from from his temple down to his chin. I worked myself down to my knees in front of him, giving him doe eyes as i popped my tongue out for him. He took the back of my head in his hand and urged me forward until his cock pushed past my lips and suffocated my mouth in a thick tightness. I squeezed my eyes shut and let him control his thrusting, keeping a hold on his thighs in case it got to be too much. He was holding back his want to obliterate my throat for the sake of me not killing him after but i let him go a little faster, gaining a tighter grip against my skull. Johnny tossed his head back and i watched as his chest heaved and fingers wrap tighter around the edge of the table. He bit down on his lip so hard I was sure he made it bleed as splatters of his cum coated my tongue and slid down my throat. It was never the most pleasant feeling for me, the rare times I did this for him, but i behaved and swallowed it all, even waiting until the last drop. He pulled out slowly and looked down at me and i hoped i didn’t have a look of suffering on my face.

“Y-You okay?” He stuttered.

I nodded and swallowed down the rest of it before gasping for air a bit. Johnny hooked his arms under mine and lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest, begging for his comfort. He held me tight and rubbed my back gently as we both came down from the intensity. “Can i get pancakes now?” I murmured.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Of course, princess. Let’s just...clean up and get dressed.” I pulled away reluctantly and he cocked his head to the side before swiping his thumb across my chin. “Ah...missed some.” I took his thumb in my mouth and sucked off his taste, lapping just a bit at the tip of his finger. He landed a hard smack against my ass. “You better stop that, you little shit. I don’t need to walk around campus with another boner!”

I giggled and turned away from him to pick up my discarded under wear and dress. As i bent over I felt his fingers between my thighs gathering up my own cum and making me shoot up instantly. “HEY!”

He smirked and popped his finger out his mouth. “Just a little payback.”

I hit his shoulder with my bra and we both laughed before getting completely dressed. He held me around my waist as we walked over to my car. He had carpooled with a few other students that were in the show to help each other set up so I was able to take him home and have him all to myself. “I’ll text Quinn to see if they’re spending the night with Jae so maybe i can watch you cook naked.” I joked.

“Honestly, I make a mess in the kitchen and i have to concentrate on not burning stuff. Burnt dick will not be on the menu tonight.”

“Your butt would still look cute. Maybe if you just wear the apron and that’s it. Like in those cheesy pornos. Easy access.”

“Excuse me, access for what?!”

I licked my lips and smirked. “Oh...nothing in particular.”

“Eri, you’re not putting anything in my ass.” He stated firmly.

“Yet.”

Though our sex life was back on track and Johnny was much more satisfied with his medication, we were still having trouble seeing each other. His graduation was tomorrow and just a few days ago i had to snap him out of a night terror. His anxiety was high and even though he had applied for those internships he still was hit with the “what exactly do I do with my life after college?” Art careers were harder to find a job to jump into and I felt his pain on so many levels. I tried to assure him that he was good enough to get those internships and he wouldn’t have to worry so much. He had calmed down since then and I was grateful but we had to zoom around to make sure everything was perfect for his big day. However, he sprung something on me that I hadn’t thought would happen so soon.

“So i’m going to pick up my mom from the airport and then tomorrow we’ll do the graduation thing. After that we’ll all go to dinner.” Johnny said as he put on his leather jacket.

“Wait...you mean i-i’m gonna meet your mom?” I sucked in a harsh breath and almost choked. We had only been fully dating for three months (not including fucking around since august) and now I was going to meet his mom, the most important person in his life? I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready at all. “Johnny, she’s going to hate me. Oh my god why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Relax! She’s not going to hate you! You’ll be fine. I need both my ladies there for me. I’m excited for y’all to meet.”

“What if I fuck up? What if she hates the way I look? Does she know I’m not Korean? Does she know i’m not white?! Does she know that I’m younger than you? Does she know anything about me?!”

“First of all my mom wont care about any of those things. I know her.” He grabbed onto my shoulders and gave me a little shake. "Eri! Trust me. It's going to be ok. I'll be there the whole time." He kissed my forehead in reassurance. "I'll be back, ok? I just have to pick her up, maybe get some food and drop her off at the hotel. I can sneak over a little later and I can maybe take your mind off things?" He said coyly.

I rolled my eyes and hit his shoulder. "Get out and go see your mom, idiot." I gave him a peck on the lips then let him leave, waiting until the door closed to run to Quinn's room. "I have a problem and I'm gonna die."

"What? What's going on?" They set down their phone and watched as I flopped face down onto their bed.

"Johnny's mom is coming for his graduation and I have to meet her!!"

"Holy fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Shit. Oof. Ok, um...that's like... astronomically huge."

"I KNOW AND IM NOT READY!!" I cried into their pillow. "I have no idea why I didn’t think she would show up. Of course she would show up! He’s her only son! He says everything is going to be ok but like...I don't really know how she is. What if she's super traditional? I know she's lived in America for decades but she could still hate that Johnny isn't with some lightskinned, non tattooed, Korean business lady that went to Harvard or something. She's going to hate me and I don't want her too because she's important to Johnny. I want her to like me."

"Eri, you're beautiful the way you are. You shouldn't be ashamed of that. If Johnny wanted to date some light skinned Korean business Harvard lady then he would have. But he chose you because you're what he wants. Don't beat yourself up like that. He will defend you if she's really prejudice against that."

"He probably would but still…" Quinn sat down beside me and I shifted so I could lay my head on their lap. "I don't know how to be like proper or good enough to make parents like me."

"Just act like me because I'm a perfect angel."

"Quinn."

"Ok, ok. Just...try not to curse. Try to talk about your goals or accomplishments you've done. Maybe gas up Johnny a little? Mom's always love hearing about when their babies are like amazing or whatever. Maybe don't be on your phone so much? And when Johnny's there he can probably guide the conversation more so you’re not completely making a fool of yourself."

"That sounds good…" I said softly. It didn't fully ease my anxiety but it did give me some good ideas to go off of. "Should I wear a dress and some heels or something?"

"Eri you're gonna break your ankles if you wear heels."

"I did good when i went to his gallery show! Mostly. My feet were killing me after but I survived. I have some wedges and I think I have a normal black dress somewhere. Oh god, how should I do my hair. Maybe I'll straighten it. Should I do a bun again? What hairstyle says "Hello Ms. Suh. I'm not a terrible person"?".

"Ok, how's this? You pick out all the dresses you have that aren't slutty and then we can look up some hair ideas later. Then I can tell you what looks best. Also, Jae and I will at least be there for the ceremony so it won’t be completely terrible. We can at least help you not hyperventilate.”

“Yeah, i guess so. I just didn’t really think this would happen so soon in our official relationship. I met my ex girlfriends parents and they were kind of racist and unwelcoming so what if Johnny’s mom is the same?”

Quinn sighed. “If she is like that maybe Johnny will talk her down or something. I know he would want you two to get along but I don’t think it will be bad. Don’t worry too much or you’ll just make your head explode. Now go try and find your dresses and we can see what we’re working with.”

“Okay,” I grumbled and got up from the bed. “But what if she doesn’t like black? I don’t know if I have colored dresses. His suit is dark grey, black wouldn’t be bad, right?”

“ERI! Shut up and go get your dresses!!”

I whined and went to my room flipping through my closet for the few dresses I had. That one had a low neckline, that one was super short, that one had cutouts, that one had bat wings, the other had an open back. Fuck. The dress I had worn to the gallery was already dirty and way too casual and the rest I had were skater dresses. I needed something more formal. “Quinn!!!” I called out.

They stomped over to my room with their hands on their hips. “What now?”

“It’s official. I have to go shopping.”

“Shit, it’s serious now.”

I wanted to throw myself on the floor. I hated trying on clothes. I got all sweaty and then sad when shit wouldn’t fit over my thighs or my ass and formal dresses were the worst to shop for. I got lucky with the dress I wore at the quince. My mom got that for me and it suited me well but now that I was on my own I was doomed. “What am I going to do? If i don’t find something tonight then i’m literally not going to make a good impression and she’s gonna think i’m a slut. I mean i am but i don’t want her to think that.”

“Put your shoes on. I think i have an idea of what might work for you. Come on."

Shopping was serious business but I managed to find a black dress with capped sleeves that was simple enough for me to look innocent. It took forever to find anything that wasn't a sweetheart neckline, strapless, or backless. I was tired and barely got any sleep that night as nerves got the best of me. Only a few hours separated me from my greatest fear and I had no idea how to calm myself.

When the morning came, I drove myself, Quinn and Jae to the auditorium. Johnny was already waiting there with his mom and I met him outside the front doors, ready to vomit. I tried to focus on how cute he looked in his cap and gown that was way too short for him. She was standing beside him, also shorter than I expected for someone who birthed a giant. She was fussing over Johnny and giving him tons of kisses and licking her thumb to wipe away whatever smudges she thought was on his face. When he saw me he took me in his arms and held me close before introducing me to his mother.

"Mom, this is Eri, my girlfriend. Eri, this is my mom."

I smiled and waved at her, softly saying it was nice to meet her. I swore her demeanor changed as she looked me up and down, making my nausea even worse. Her attention shifted as Johnny introduced Jae and Quinn, then we were off to sit at the boring like four hour long ceremony. I wanted to try and be good and attentive but I was slowly falling asleep, especially since Johnny would be called to walk across the stage more so towards the end. Every once in awhile my eyes would fall closed and Quinn would jab my side so I could stay awake. I was suffering to say the least. Johnny was texting me a bit as we both sat in boredom and I made sure his texts were PG just in case his mom looked over. Finally when he walked across the stage she was all smiles and claps, taking pictures and videos even though it lasted all but thirty seconds. It kind of made me chuckle. She was just as extra as my mom was when I graduated high school.

When the ceremony finished, Johnny spoke with a few of his friends who had also graduated, making the four of us awkwardly wait to take pictures together. I was reminded how much I fucking hated graduations. I needed a vodka and redbull asap. The pictures were taken, a steady rotation of Johnny, Quinn and I, Johnny and Jae, me and Johnny, Johnny and his mom, until the point that I was going crazy. I was also mega hungry and would've preferred to be at the restaurant right now. I tried my best to put on a proper face and not show my irritation but damn if it wasn't hard.

"Instead of dinner, were just going to do lunch. Is that ok?" Johnny's question snapped me out of my funk. The prospect of food was enough to get me excited until I realized we would be spending quality time with his mother. I looked back at Quinn as I was terrified but they just gave me the thumbs up and mouthed that I could do it. No I couldn't. I was going stir crazy as Johnny lead me and his mom to his car as Quinn used mine to head back to the apartment. I clutched at his hand tightly as he was driving, making our palms sweat. He looked over at me, giving me a look that said "calm the fuck down." Easy for him to say.

We got to the restaurant and took forever to get a table as dozens of other graduates had also picked this spot to eat. But as we were waiting for our food, he lead the conversation while I stared at my lap, occasionally sipping my soda.

"So Eri," the question made my head snap up and a lump appear in my throat. "What do you study?" She asked.

"I do music journalism. I want to write columns for magazines and interview bands and things like that. It'll give me the opportunity to travel too."

"Ahh, you're just like Johnny then. Always wanting to go somewhere and explore."

I finally smiled for the first time today. "Yeah, I think we have similar goals and stuff. Ideally, we would like to work for the same magazine. Hopefully we can make that come true but it will most likely be hard."

"So you have goals together then. That's at least better than the brats he dated in high school."

"Mom!" Johnny winced. "You can't count that! I had no idea what I wanted to do back then!"

"Oh I know exactly what you wanted to do," she scolded. "Sneak out the house and go hang out with those stupid skateboard friends of yours! And that hair! You would never let me cut it! With your heavy metal bands and what not!" She scoffed and said something else in Korean that made Johnny shove his hands into his face.

I giggled and took another sip of soda. "I still haven't seen those long hair pictures. Johnny won't show them to me!"

"Oh." She gave Johnny a shady look as she pulled out her phone. "Don't worry. I have them on Facebook."

He sighed and leaned into me. "She's excited because she's finally good at Facebook. Also, I hate you completely."

I took the back of his hand and kissed it. "I think it's cute! Hush!" Ms. Suh grabbed my attention and shoved her phone into my hand as she had pulled up the picture. I practically slammed it face down onto the table and pursed my lips trying so hard not to say that he looked fucking ridiculous. "Please don't ever ever grow your hair out that long again."

"Ughhh, shut up. I don't think it looked that bad."

"I always wanted to chase him around with scissors! Especially when he had that ponytail. I wanted to chop it right off." She said.

"I don't blame you. I like his hair now. I think it looks really cute." I smiled a bit as I tucked his hair behind his ear.

"He could use a haircut still. But he's always handsome."

"That's for sure." I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Alright, well you two can be gushy gushy. I'm going to use the bathroom." He rolled his eyes and scooted back from the chair, retreating to the bathrooms at the back of the restaurant. I watched him leave before turning back to face Ms. Suh.

"You're not the type of girl he usually goes for. Hes never liked the hair and the tattoos and all that." She stated flatly.

"Well...there's a first time for everything. He seems to like the way I look a lot." I tried to bite my tongue as much as I could so I wouldn't fuck up royally.

"Hmm…" She sipped her water and glared at me. "And what exactly do you want with my son?"

"A relationship, clearly." I sighed internally and clenched my fist around the fabric across my lap. "What I mean is I love Johnny a lot. More than I ever loved someone before and I was really scared to be in a relationship with him because I've been hurt before. But he's been there for me through a lot of rough things that has happened this school year and I've done the same for him. Now I can't imagine myself being without him really. I care about him a lot and I think I've tried to protect him from things that couldn't be helped but I never wanted him to be scared when he's with me. I know I don't look conventional, and I don't even act conventional. I'm not quiet, I don't hold my tongue, I'm not soft and I stand up for what I believe in. I will never be a lightskinned Korean business woman who went to Harvard or whatever you expected him to be with. I'm not sorry to be myself and Johnny loves me just the way I am."

"I can see that." She interrupted. "Eri, I don't care how you look. I know you've been nervous all day. It's written all over your face. But I can tell by the way he smiles that he loves you. Also, when he came to visit me before he told me everything about you and the feelings he's had. I just want you to make him happy. That's all I ask."

I felt tears prickling at my waterline and I tried to laugh it off though I was slowly unraveling into a mess. I dabbed at my tears ducts with the knuckle of my index finger and exhaled deeply. "I thought you would hate me and I didn't want that because I know how important you are to Johnny."

"No, I'm not a hateful person. You seem respectful and I know you were tense because you wanted to impress me. There's nothing to impress. I wish we could have spent more time getting to know each other but I was only here for the ceremony. Maybe you could come visit Chicago with him soon?"

I sat up straight and beamed happily. "I'd really love that. Like a lot."

Johnny returned then, looking at the two of us. "Well I'm glad you two didn't kill each other."

"Johnny, hush! Eri and I were having a nice conversation." Ms. Suh whacked her son's hand.

"Wait really?" He looked over at me and questioned the tears that were still watering my eyes. "What did you say?"

"That I just want Eri to continue to make you happy is all. And maybe she can come to Chicago with you next time."

Johnny smiled from ear to ear. "I would totally love that. I told you you had nothing to worry about, babe!"

"Yeah well...I couldn't help it. This means a lot to you, to the both of you. And it means a lot to me too." I entwined our fingers again and relaxed at last.

"I just have one question." Johnny and I both looked at his mom. "When am I getting grandkids?"

I had stood up waiting for Johnny to come back to my place after dropping his mom off at the airport for her return flight. I took off my dress and got a hot shower in before pulling on some basketball shorts and a hoodie he had left a while ago. I had cleared out a dresser drawer for him to put some clothes on the nights he stood over and had to get to work or class the next day. It was all becoming very domestic. I was curled up in my bed when I heard the door open. I had left it unlocked for him and he quickly came into my room, flopping down beside me.

"How was your mom?" I asked.

"Oh a crying mess as usual. But I told her I'll try and go back home once I find out stuff about those internships I applied for."

"Speaking of which, have you heard back from any yet?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his email app. "I have to check. I haven't been able to really look at my phone since the ceremony."

I stretched out my limbs, letting out a big yawn. "Anything?"

He sat up quickly and grabbed my hand tightly. "Eri."

"What?! What?! What's wrong?!"

"I got in! I fucking got in!"

"What?! You got an internship?! Is it the one you wanted?!"

"Yes! Fuck! Holy fuck!!" He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. "I'm so damn happy, you don't even know."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. This is gonna be awesome for you." I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him over and over between smiles. "When do you start?"

"I've got a couple weeks. I have to sell my car then find a place to live and then get a new car down there in the meantime." He said as if his explanation was perfectly normal.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean sell your car and find a place? Isn't your internship here?"

"What? No!” He laughed. “Babe, I'm moving to California."

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