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genderkoolaid · 17 days

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sorry if you've talked about it already, but what is it that makes KOSA's idea of online safety wrong? I don't know much about the bill, what does it intend to do?

What do you think is a good way to protect kids from things like online predators or just seeing things that they shouldn't be seeing? (By which I mean sex and graphic violence, things which you'd need to be 16+ to see in a movie theater so I think it makes sense to not want pre-teens to see it)

From stopkosa.com:

Why is KOSA a bad bill? KOSA uses two methods to “protect” kids, and both of them are awful. First, KOSA would incentivize social media platforms to erase content that could be deemed “inappropriate” for minors. The problem is: there is no consensus on what is inappropriate for minors. All across the country we are seeing how lawmakers are attacking young people’s access to gender affirming healthcare, sex education, birth control, and abortion. Online communities and resources that queer and trans youth depend on as lifelines should not be subject to the whims of the most rightwing extremist powers and we shouldn’t give them another tool to harm marginalized communities. Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by expanding the use of age verification and parental monitoring tools. Not only are these tools needlessly invasive, they’re a massive safety risk for young people who could be trying to escape domestic violence and abuse.

I’ve heard there’s a new version of KOSA. What’s the deal? The new version of KOSA makes some good changes: narrowing the ability of rightwing attorneys general to weaponize KOSA to target content they don’t like and limiting the problematic “duty of care. However, because the bill is still not content neutral, KOSA still invites the harms that civil rights advocates have warned about. As LGBTQ and reproductive rights groups have said for months, the fundamental problem with KOSA is that its “duty of care” covers content specific aspects of content recommendation systems, and the new changes fail to address that. In fact, personalized recommendation systems are explicitly listed under the definition of a design feature covered by the duty of care in the new version. This means that a future Federal Trade Commission (FTC) could still use KOSA to pressure platforms into automated filtering of important, but controversial topics like LGBTQ issues and abortion, by claiming that algorithmically recommending such content “causes” mental health outcomes that are covered by the duty of care like anxiety and depression. Bans on inclusive books, abortion, and gender affirming healthcare have been passed on exactly that kind of rhetoric in many states recently. And we know that already existing content filtering systems impact content from marginalized creators exponentially more, resulting in discrimination and censorship. It’s also important to remember that algorithmic recommendation includes, for example, showing a user a post from a friend that they follow, since most platforms do not show all users all posts, but curate them in some way. As long as KOSA’s duty of care isn’t content neutral, platforms will be likely to react the same way that they did to the broad liability imposed by SESTA/FOSTA: by engaging in aggressive filtering and suppression of important, and in some cases lifesaving, content.

Why it's bad:

The way it's written (even after being changed, which the website also goes over), it is still possible for this law to be used to restrict things like queer content, discussion of reproductive rights and resources, and sexual education.

It will restrict youth's ability to use the Internet independently, essentially cutting off life support to many vulnerable people who rely on the Internet to learn that they are queer, being abused, disabled, etc.

Better alternatives:

Stop relying on ageist ideas of purity and innocence. When we focus on protecting the "purity" of youth, we dehumanize them and it becomes more about soothing adult anxieties than actually improving the lives of children.

Making sure content (sexual, violent, etc.) is marked/tagged and made avoidable for anyone who doesn't want to engage with it.

Teach children why certain things may be upsetting and how best to avoid those things.

Teach children how to recognize grooming and abuse and empower them to stop it themselves.

Teach children how to recognize fear, discomfort, trauma, and how to cope with those experiences.

The Internet makes a great boogeyman. But the idea that it is uniquely corrupting the Pure Innocent Youth relies on the idea that all children are middle-class suburban White kids from otherwise happy homes. What about the children who see police brutality on their front lawns, against their family members? How are we protecting them from being traumatized? Or children who are seeing and experiencing physical and sexual violence in their own homes, by the parents who prevent them from realizing what's happening by restricting their Internet usage? How does strengthening parent's rights stop those kids from being groomed? Or the kids who grow up in evangelical Christian homes and are given graphic descriptions of the horrors of the Apocalypse and told if they ever question their parents, they'll be left behind?

Children live in the same world we do. There are children who are already intimately aware of violence and "adult" topics because of their lived experiences. Actually protecting children means being concerned about THEIR human rights, it means empowering them to save themselves, it means giving them the tools to understand their own feelings and traumas. KOSA is just another in a long line of attempts to "save the children!" by dehumanizing them and giving more power to the people most likely to abuse them. We need to stop trying to protect children's "innocence" and appreciate that children are already growing, changing people, learning to deal with discomfort and pain and the weight of the world the same as everyone else. What people often think keeps kids safe really just keeps them ignorant and quiet.

Another explanation as to why it's bad:

#m.#ask box

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onlycosmere · 2 months

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REGARDING AUDIBLE

Brandon Sanderson: Hey, all. Brandon here, with what I consider to be some pretty exciting news. Many of you may remember when I wrote last year about my worries regarding audiobook royalties (particularly for independent authors). You can read it HERE, but some of the main bullet points are as follows:

I seriously worried about the opacity of reporting to authors about audio sales. We didn’t know what a sale meant, how much of an Audible credit was given to authors when a book sold via one, and how royalties were being accounted.

I felt that the industry was taking advantage of authors because of their lack of powerful corporate interests to advocate for them. While video game creators and musicians get 70–80% (88%, in fact, on two major platforms) of a sale of their products in a digital platform, Audible was paying as low as 25%–with the high end being instead 40%.

I felt I could have gotten a better deal for myself, but the entire state of this industry was seriously concerning to me. So, I made the difficult decision NOT to release the four Secret Projects on Audible, costing me a large number of sales, to instead try to bolster healthy competition in the space, highlighting some of the smaller Audible competitors.

I hoped this wake-up call would prompt change. I didn’t refuse to put my books on Audible out of retribution or to declare war; I did it because I wanted to shine as powerful a light as I knew how on a system that highly favored the audio distributors over the authors. I was convinced that the people at Audible really did love books and writers, and that with the right stand taken, I could encourage them toward positive change.

I’m happy to say that this stand has borne some fruit. I’ve spent this last year in contact with Audible and other audio distributors, and have pushed carefully–but forcefully–for them to step up. A few weeks ago, three key officers high in Audible’s structure flew to Dragonsteel offices and presented for us a new royalty structure they intend to offer to independent writers and smaller publishers.

This new structure doesn’t give everything I’ve wanted, and there is still work to do, but it is encouraging. They showed me new minimum royalty rates for authors–and they are, as per my suggestions, improved over the previous ones. Moreover, this structure will move to a system like I have requested: a system that pays more predictably on each credit spent, and that is more transparent for authors. Audible will be paying royalties monthly, instead of quarterly, and will provide a spreadsheet that better shows how they split up the money received with their authors.

This part looked really good to me, as I understand their decisions. I tried poking holes in the system, looking for ways it could be exploited, and found each issue I raised had already been considered. This doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect, and people smarter than me might still find problems that I didn’t. However, I think everyone is going to agree the new system IS better. We will better be able to track, for example, how Audible is dividing money between books purchased with a credit and books listened to as part of their Audible Plus program.

It’s all very technical, but I have to say I’m impressed with the effort they have made. The people there listened to my complaints, and have tried to improve. I’m not at liberty to explain in its entirety their new structure right now, as they’re still tweaking it, but they did say I could announce its existence–and that I could promise new, improved royalties are on the horizon.

Now, before we go too far, I do anticipate a few continuing issues with the final product. I want to manage expectations by talking about those below.

What I’ve seen doesn’t yet bring us to the 70% royalty I think is fair, and which other, similar industries get.

Audible continues to reserve the best royalties for those authors who are exclusive to their platform, which I consider bad for consumers, as it stifles competition. In the new structure, both exclusive and non-exclusive authors will see an increase, but the gap is staying about the same.

Authors continue to have very little (basically no) control over pricing. Whatever the “cover price” of books is largely doesn’t matter–books actually sell for the price of a credit in an Audible subscription. Authors can never raise prices alongside inflation. An Audible credit costs the same as it did almost two decades ago–with no incentive for Audible to raise it, lest it lose customers to other services willing to loss-lead to draw customers over.

These are things I’d love to see change. However, this deal IS a step forward, and IS an attempt to meet me partway. Indeed, even incremental changes can mean a lot. When I was new in this business, my agent spent months arguing for a two-percent change in one of my print royalties–because every little bit helps. These improvements are going to be larger than two-percent increases.

Because of this, I will be bringing the Secret Projects to Audible very soon. I consider Audible to again be a positive force for the industry, and I have decided to shake hands with them. Audible has promised to release their new royalty system for all authors sometime in 2024, though I should be testing it in the next month or so.

And…if you’ll allow me a moment, I’d like to say that this feels good. It isn’t what I wanted, but I’d begun to think that nothing would ever change–that even my voice, loud though it can be, wouldn’t be enough. Yet change IS possible.

I know that there are plenty of people out there who are tired of hearing about me and my works (I’m sorry–I do have quite the group of evangelists, and we can be an enthusiastic lot). However, for better or for worse, I am one of the bestselling authors in the world. Historically, one of the best ways to change things in my industry is for authors like myself to force it to happen.

Feeling this responsibility, when I was first talking to Audible about these issues in 2022, I made it very clear that I wasn’t just seeking some quiet deal that gave me an individual advantage. I wanted to see positive change for all authors. And while I don’t think I can take sole credit, I do feel like my efforts this year have had a significantly positive effect. Soon every independent author who publishes on Audible (and maybe, eventually, traditionally published authors with the huge publishers–depending on what New York decides) will be getting a larger cut of the profit, with more transparency about how that cut is allocated.

So, for those who have been waiting until Audible had the Secret Projects, you’ll get your chance soon. I hope you’ll support them, and support Audible for their decisions. And thank you to all of you who shared the news about my problems with the audio industry last year; I believe that pressure really did help. This is a victory for all of us, because happier authors able to make a better living (particularly those authors who are struggling in the midlist trenches) make for a more vibrant world for everyone.

#Brandon Sanderson #cfsbf #audible #branderson #root #wob #kind of #long post

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awanderingtortoise · 2 months

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i really love how much jack and belle complement each other with how polar their strengths and weaknesses are. it goes so deep into the relationship but ill discuss two examples: for one, the learning styles. so belle's very theoretical/educated approach as to jack's experience-based and hands-on learning. jack is very much hands on, kinesthetic, and experiential in his learning. thats because of his circumstances, not just the fact that hes dyslexic and really struggles to learn text-wise, though thats a factor. life in london with fagin-- from the beginning he had to learn on his feet. thievery is very much a hands on learning thing. then he goes on TRANSFERRING those skills of quick thinking, adaptability and quick fingers when he is thrust all of a sudden into surgery and war in the navy. thats really proof of how intelligent he is, that speed of learning and transferring skills, though its not a 'traditional' kind of smart. his physical dexterity is very much echoed in his mental dexterity, an aspect i love in how his character was built.

BELLE, on the other hand, total opposite. she literally cant get experience; shes a woman, shes a governor's daughter expected to live and act like a proper woman. though her headstrong nature and the way she swings around her privilege like a flaming torch lets her get experience later, she spent most of her pre-show life learning from books because that was the only resource she had. she's educated, she's rich, and she's really really smart and really really determined, so she CAN and WILL learn.

another thing is their worldview. belle's very much visionary and idealistic, jack is a realist. theyre both limited by society (not EQUALLY, and not in the same way, but they are both limited by society), but they respond in opposite, and equally flawed but valid ways, and its literally only with each other that they are able to balance out that response to the world and be the best they can be. they learn from eachother: belle gets a crash course in the reality of abusive governance and empathy for the realities of the lower class, jack is able to open his eyes to how much he can initiate change on the global scale with his skill.

belle's upbringing makes it so she has the social power and desire to fight and advocate for herself, something evident from the moment she threatened jack in episode 1 (essentially 'teach me or go to jail, fucker'). now the morals of that im not going to get into, but its a kind of power jack never had. because poverty. hence his complacency to hospital standards he doesnt agree with, because while belle can afford to fuck around and find out, he could lose his job with a single misstep.

BUT BUT BUT, with her at his side; his experience plus her social status and her idealistic vision for the world, theyre able to do SO MUCH GOOD! for the world, for eachother. she pushes him and he balances her out and opens her eyes to reality. he doesnt shatter her idealism but shes exposed for the first time to the dark side of the system her father runs: why people steal, why its not as morally black and white as theyd like her to think. but they literally couldnt do any of this: the revolutionary surgeries, the personal development, without eachother.

they change each other, irreversibly, for the better. thats a powerful relationship.

#dodgerfox #tortoise analysis #brainrot oh god #the artful dodger #jack dawkins #belle fox

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darkonekrisrewrite · 2 months

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The villains dying is the worst ending

If shigaraki, toga or Dabi die, that would be the worst outcome for everyone who matters in bnha.

And if the heroes win this final war and achieve everything they want, that will only then lead to the "bad ending" where nobody actually gets what they want.

Anything the hero kids are trying to protect and achieve isn't going to exist without the villains.

Specifically their villains.

So far, out of everyone, ochako is at the top when it comes to success in dealing with her villain.

Stopping Toga's threat and getting toga to see that her efforts were genuine in trying to help someone all of society had rejected.

Wanting to understand why toga was a villain and wanting to talk further with her after everything.

But then toga had to save ochako, and if toga does die (though unlikely considering what she and other characters have survived already) then ochako's arc, and any future that had any impact, is over.

Because ochako isn't going to make anything better for people like Toga, for those who have quirks that aren't easy to live with.

(The only logical next/endgame step for ochako's character-

-with the current state of their society's infrastructure, there's no way ochako's parents/construction jobs will be hurting for business and therefore money-

-and aside from deku (in his reckless nature and self-sacrificing personality), the heroes really aren't the ones who ever needed saving.)

Ochako doesn't know enough about what Toga went through yet, and there's no one else who could reliably tell her everything from the perspective of someone born with a quirk that's rejected by their society, what exactly led to toga becoming a villain and what it was like.

Toga's perspective and presence is the only way that ochako's own presence would be more effective.

Because she was barely able to convince the civilians to let deku into the heroes' own shelter, literally begging them to have some compassion for the young hero who's fought for them all this time.

And it only worked with the support of others deku had directly saved. (Kota and the heteromorph woman)

She can advocate for how things should be, use another megaphone and talk about what changes need to be made, but if that's it, just talking and asking, then nothing will happen.

It's the same problem with deku for the same reasons.

The civilians/government don't want to do what would be necessary to make sure more villains like the Lov aren't made and Deku doesn't have any real power to make them.

Or rather he doesn't have the willingness to force what needs to be done.

All-might made change to their society, making it more peaceful (and more apathetic), but that was only because it benefited those in power.

The government wanting to maintain control and order, and the civilians who were absolved of any responsibility to help others in need and abandon anyone who has "villainous" traits.

All-might intentionally gave people exactly what they wanted and unintentionally gave them permission to take the easy way out.

So just because deku or ochako are powerful heroes, that does not mean that they can influence the system/people or government.

If the hero kids commit to saving the villains and changing things, given everything we've seen of the civilians and government so far, there's no reason to think that they'll will go along with any of it.

Because it is the harder path and risks them losing their control and oblivious peace/permission to be their apathetic selves.

Same for shoto too.

Dabi's main beef with heroes is centered around endeavor but that doesn't mean he's wrong about everything else.

The heroes aren't held to a standard or accountable for anything.

They'll say they have to set an example and publicly apologize when things go bad (only if they're found out), but there are never any real consequences to be pointed to from within the system itself, much less any safeguards.

There's nothing stopping another future Endeavor from trying to make another "masterpiece" and thus creating another Dabi.

Shoto is currently still more focused on improving himself and being a hero/helping his family.

Which isn't a bad thing at all.

There's just no "bigger picture" or "this needs to be fixed" view from him yet, despite this aspect of hero society being a big part of his origin.

The civilians and the higher ups in hero society (as well as most all of the pro heroes) don't want anything to change, they all only want their "normal" back, the same state of things that created the core villains in the first place.

So the goals of: helping those with difficult quirks before they become villains, making sure the government helps with that and doesn't start assassinating people again, no more hero rankings/no more emphasis on being better then your peers-

-and overall change for the better can't be done by the hero kids alone.

But their villains, being alive and there in their lives, fixes all of that.

Toga, shigaraki and dabi would inform and push ochako, deku and shoto in the direction they need to go in to make a difference, and give them the force they wouldn't have on their own to ensure it happens.

If ochako (through toga) knows what needs to be done and asks the civilians again to show basic human decency to those who they previously rejected/abandoned and the civilians inevitably (because it's the more difficult path) say: "Yeah...no."

Toga (backed the Lov) would then respond: "Bet?"

If deku really commits to shredding the Rug of hero society and the government has a problem with that, and says no to what Deku tells them needs to happen, as a hero he can't really force them to do anything.

Unless shigaraki comes in behind him saying: "Work with him or deal with me again..."

(Lady nagant could, in theory, fill this roll, but she's not as powerful or untouchable as shigaraki, so the threat is lessened.

Not to mention it wouldn't be as narratively strong.)

If necessary, life or death-future in the balance, change doesn't happen willingly, then it needs to be forced.

As for shoto, he did say that there were still arguments that he wanted to have with his brother, so maybe that will set him on the way to pushing to make sure another endeavor can't get away with any quirk marriages and stop another touya from becoming Dabi.

And if this doesn't happen and heroes/hero kids get their ideal ending, the kind seen in endeavor's vision where everyone is all cool and successful pro heroes with the villains out of the picture?

Then nothing in bnha will have mattered and they're all still going to lose everything anyway.

Not right away but sooner rather than later, hero society's flaws (which again won't be fixed by the hero kids alone) will create another group of villains just like the Lov, putting everything back to square one.

Then after that: Quirk singularity doomsday.

The last plot thread that the heroes definitely can't beat, they won't even acknowledge it as a threat or as truth.

Even through some heroes have seen evidence of it's truth, like at the Provisional Hero License Course where they clearly saw that children were being born with more powerful quirks than before.

The villains know the quirk singularity is real and only the villain side, however evil or immoral they are, accepts this threat and has the knowledge to counter it.

(Through their own power and the doctor.)

Compared to the hero side who has none and no one who would work with them to even attempt to deal with the quirk singularity.

And no, Eri is not a solution to the quirk singularity, they would literally have to sacrifice her body like overhaul did to mass produce anything, and even then it wouldn't be enough for the entire world.

Same with the "AFO and OFA destroys all quirks theory", since the quirks only work through direct physical contact, how would that even be feasible for all of humanity??

Final flaw in this:

It's true that this presently isn't what the Lov want (definitely shigaraki and Dabi don't) but it's been shown, through toga and ochako at least, that the possibility for change is there, it's just that both parties have to make concessions and put in the effort-

-and obviously all involved need to survive.

Because the only way that there's going to be any kind of good ending in bnha is with the core villains being alive and with the heroes.

#bnha #bnha meta #mha #mha meta #league of villains #bnha spoilers

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coldalbion · 1 year

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"And in many ways, that complaint has only gotten louder over the decades. Stop talking to each other and start buying things. Stop providing content for free and start paying us for the privilege. Stop shining sunlight on horrors and start advocating for more of them. Stop making communities and start weaponizing misinformation to benefit your betters.

It’s the same. It’s always been the same. Stop benefitting from the internet, it’s not for you to enjoy, it’s for us to use to extract money from you. Stop finding beauty and connection in the world, loneliness is more profitable and easier to control.

Stop being human. A mindless bot who makes regular purchases is all that’s really needed.

Over and over again since that prodigal moment of shame and hurt and confusion, I’ve joined online communities, found so much to love there, made friends and created unique spaces that truly felt special, felt like places worth protecting. And they’ve all, eventually, died. For the same reasons and through the same means, though machinations came from a parade of different bad actors. It never really mattered who exactly killed and ate these little worlds. The details. It’s all the same cycle, the same beasts, the same dark hungers. [...] And while Twitter hurts, I’m not sure anything will ever hurt as much as Livejournal did. It feels like no one even remembers anymore what happened to lovely, flawed, dog-eared, wacky old LJ in the twilight of the aughts and the dawn of the tens. Even though in this year of our lord 2022, when there are some pretty fucking good reasons to remember it, and learn its lessons...

So when Livejournal was sold, not to Viacom or Google, but to SixApart, a company no one had ever heard of, it was confusing. As was its refusal to develop anything like a usable mobile app. When fanfic communities started getting banned for gay content in the name of “protecting the children,” it was alarming and confusing. When it started going down regularly due to constant DDoS attacks, the new owner accused the community of trying to blackmail and destroy him for questioning what the hell was going to happen to all of us, when the Russian Prime Minister was commenting on fucking Livejournal, and when Russian users started put posts in English to let others know what was going on…we all just felt so helpless. It was sold to SUPMedia, a Russian company, and by 2016, had moved its servers to Russia and changed the entire site to conform with that good old very free and inclusive Russian law, but by that time, the community had long fled. Which was the point. Make it unusable and unreliable, bleed off the Westerners and the eye of Western media, and use the database to find and shut down dissenters.

And as hard as it was for us to lose that space where so many of us found family and work and connection, I cannot begin to imagine what those brave dissidents lost. What Russia lost. What they are still losing.

It was a small piece of what was to come. Like Gamergate and the Puppies, an experiment to practice taking apart a minor but culturally influential community and develop techniques to do it again, more efficiently, more quickly, with less attention. To lay out a reliable pathway to commit harm and lie about it for so long and in so many ways that by the time the truth is available, it doesn’t matter, because the harm is a foundational part of the system we’re living in. The harm is the new status quo.

Lather, rinse, repeat."

As someone who's been online nearly 30 years (I'm 18ish months younger than the author) who cut his teeth on dialup BBSses, Fidonet et al rather than Prodigy, I cosign this and beg you to read the whole thing.

#catherynne m. valente #elder millennial #internet history #fandom history

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tittyinfinity · 28 days

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I still can't believe that this election year of all years isn't the deal breaker for a lot of people when it comes to the two-party system.

Not willing at all to organize for another candidate or even protest the fact that many states aren't allowing you to vote for anyone but Biden for the democratic candidate.

You won't even demand that the Democrats put forward a different candidate to vote for? Even though you know that the guy running is a lifelong conservative who only recently put on the liberal sheep's clothing?

Just put your head down and vote for him No Matter What under threat of violence from the other party? No matter who the candidate is? No matter how bad they get, until they come for you? "You'll always have my vote as long as you keep ME safe from the Actually Evil party. Damage control!"

As if telling a political party that they can be as horrible as they want & STILL have your vote is any kind of "damage control." Maybe it's short-term damage control for you. But why would dems be incentivized to give you rights and work for your vote if you tell them that you'll vote for them no matter what policies they have? How will that look years down the line?

Why would they even try to stop republicans if all they have to say is "vote for us because the other party is worse?" Whenever every time something bad happens under a democratic presidency, you say it's not really their fault? How in the hell does that "push the democratic party to the left?" Because I see a lot of "vote for them first, THEN push them to the left!" Well then how the fuck do you expect to do that? Just ask them pretty pretty please? Are you "pushing Biden to the left" right now? How does telling people not to criticize Biden "because it increases the chances of the other guy winning" push him to the left?

Biden is issuing executive orders to send weapons over to Israel but won't do that for Roe v. Wade or trans rights. He's threatening to take away some of our first amendment rights and cut us off from outside information. And if that isn't enough, you know what happened because of the weapons he sent to israel? And how it affects you personally? Look at what happened to Fall and Winter. So much progress towards combating climate change. Lost. The US military is the largest polluter in the world & the military industrial complex will eventually kill us all if we don't stop it.

NOT TO MENTION his fucking track record? If a lifetime of advocating for racist policies that have killed and continue to kill tens of thousands of people doesn't make him as bad as Trump, what does? Trump's shitty 4-year presidency somehow cancels the decades of lives lost to Biden? WHAT? The fuck do you MEAN one of them is the "lesser of two evils"?!?!?!?

It ultimately comes down to "I prefer the violence to be where I can't see it." You're not afraid for the people that the Democrats are currently killing and have been killing while lying to your face about it, you're not afraid for the people who have been watching their family members be blown to bits for months – but you're so terrified of a republican president that you'll put up with tens of thousands of people dying in another country in order to have better domestic policies. Instead of ever fighting for anything different.

"Well then what's your plan?" Are you not embarrassed to admit that you've been actively ignoring every person who's laid out clear options for you? You can't think of anything else yourself other than "vote blue no matter who?" Newsflash, literally anything is better than enabling TWO FASCISTS to run for office.

We stop BOTH of them. Not just one of them. Step the FUCK up.

#joe biden #biden #election 2024 #.bdo #byeden

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tamamita · 1 year

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Maybe this is a stupid thing to express, I've just seen so much Isr*eli violence today and I feel like maybe you can help me understand. All I've heard from people talking about the situation in Palestine is that it's "very complex" and requires a lot of research into the history of the place to get a "better understanding" of it. But like. Why can't they work to solve the conflict without butchering people? Why is the international community allowing Israel to keep doing what they're doing? I guess the answer is their American alliance, but is there no one willing to step up and actually do anything about this? What can I do about this? I've raised money, I've boycotted, I've signed petitions, it feels so hopeless, is it all for nothing?

Politically, americans need a stronghold in the middle east and use Israel as a puppet state. If there was an armed conflict between Israel and the Arab state, the US would be the first to intervene on the side of Israel, thus keeping the other states from intervening. The U.S keeps vetoing any resolution the UN presents on anything relating to the illegal occupation of Palestine, effectively making the UN one of the most useless peacekeepers in the world. So Israel makes a valuable ally in the geopolitical game. With the Trump administration, several deals and political changes undermined a lot for the Palestinian struggle for liberation not to mention the large support for the Christian right. Furthermore, negotiations become challenging when the Israeli Regime keeps allowing Zionist settlers to colonize Palestinian lands and evict Palestinians from their homes, and with every UN resolution that is presented to prevent these actions, the Americans keep vetoing them away. As a result, Palestinians have no choice but to retaliate, and when they do, they become demonized by Western media. When a Palestinian Christian journalist was shot in the head, the US and Israeli government did nothing, showing that Israel is an apartheid state that will surpress Palestinian voices and continue its oppression of the Palestinian people. The international community (sans the US) does condemn Israel, but there is little they can do with the Veto system in place. However, US influence of the MENA region has decreased significantly over the past few years.

Religiously, there is the ever-growing Evangelical movement in the U.S that adheres to the idea that Jewish people should be allowed to return to Israel so that they can hasten the return of Jesus, who will convert them enmass (144.000 to be precise). This is also referred to as Christian Zionism and is a very popular doctrine among the Evangelical sector. The Christian right is extremely vocal in its support for Israel in the hopes that Israel will become fully Jewish (this means they won't take any other Christian life into account). This idea is rooted in the Book of Revelation where the idea of a Jewish nation will signify the end times, and only can the apocalypse take place once the Holy Land becomes exclusively Jewish. Israel becomes a large tourist attraction for Evangelical Christians as a result and there are even Evangelicals disguised as Jewish people (such as Messianic Jews) that go around and lure Jewish people in the hopes of converting them.

In short, Fuck Zionism and the settler colonial state in general, and the Evangelical Christian Church is an evil death cult that advocates genocide in order to bring about the apocalypse.

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headspace-hotel · 1 year

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Bums me out that people are being so combative with you about dairy and ethical farming. The overwhelming majority of examples of inhumane practices are coming from huge factory farms and it’s like yes, we agree! Industrial farming is bad! Let’s seek out ways to decrease the negative impacts and find alternatives!

If your goal as a vegan is to reduce animal cruelty and environmental impact, can’t we talk about harm reduction? It’s much better for the environment, for the animals, and for people to source their food locally from small farmers using sustainable and humane practices. And as much as you may hate industrial farming, I do believe that consumer advocacy in buying free range eggs, grass fed and organic meats, etc has resulted in improved quality of life for those animals relative to before those things were popular.

You will not be very effective advocating for change if you reject all incremental improvements for not being perfect enough.

the problem is that there are too many people whose only relationship with the agricultural system is "consumer of a product" and when you say things like "buying locally grown food from small farmers" they are thinking of it like. "Buy Product with the veneer of being more environmentally friendly, when it's probably just as bad"

no I mean we should be able to go to a farmer's market and talk to the guy who raised or grew that food. I mean keeping goats and chickens in your back yard and growing your own garden, and giving eggs to all your neighbors. I mean community gardens where everyone helps nurture and grow their own food and watches the plants that will feed them physically emerge from the ground. I mean food forests. i mean People Coming Together Within Their Own Communities to produce food for the community.

we were part of an ecosystem long before we were part of an economy

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vivalas-vega · 1 year

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Hi there! Can I request a fic? Jake is not deployed for the time being and his wife (reader) has been really busy with work she has no time to spend with him. Eventually, she starts neglecting taking care of herself and Jake steps in when it goes too far and is there to support and advocate for her well-being. Thank you so much! 💓

ahhhh you guys are sending me requests now and I love it so much !!! my requests are open so keep em coming! :) this one isn't super long but I hope you like it!!! :)

add yourself to my taglist

You felt your head pounding against your skull as you pored over case files spread out across your desk in your home office, you felt like you were sifting through wreckage as you tried to find your notebook and you groaned when you realized you left it at work. Checking the clock you realized there was no one there anymore to take photos of the pages you needed and you stood up with a sigh, walking into your bedroom and finding Jake sitting in bed as you walked into the closet to change.

“What are you doing, honey?” he asked, looking up from his phone.

“I gotta run back to the office,” you said and he furrowed his brow, standing and coming to meet you in the closet.

“At midnight? What for?” He watched as you stripped down and slipped into jeans and a t-shirt and he ached to reach out and touch you but he knew he would be brushed off.

“Left something I need, first court hearing is in a few days and I have so much prep I need to do,” you replied, slipping on your shoes and heading for the front door.

“Sweetheart, all of that work will be there tomorrow, I really think you should come to bed.”

“I can’t, Jake! This is a major case, I’m lucky the firm is letting me take the lead on it and there is so much I need to get in order.” you said as you grabbed your keys and slipped out the front door, letting it slam behind you and Jake let out a frustrated sigh as he watched your headlights pull out of the driveway. You frequently got like this with work and he understood better than anybody what it was like to love your job this much and to want to be the best of the best. Of course he did, he especially understood when he was on deployment, you were just like he was… always a busy body, never wanting to slow down and him being gone so often and for so long took its toll on you so you disappeared into your work, and he knew timing was never in your favor but he had hoped you’d stop and take a breath now that he was home for a little while. He’d missed his wife, even more so now that he was home and seemingly living with a ghost.

You missed Jake too, you really did… but you couldn’t let this case fall through the cracks, your firm frequently took on pro-bono cases for clients who desperately needed good representation, not whatever public defender they assigned to the case, and as much as you wanted to take a step back and spend time with your husband you just couldn’t… not in good conscience when you were the only person in the legal system fighting for your client. What you didn’t know though, was that Jake had a point… the work would still be there tomorrow and what you didn’t know was that in your absence he had decided to take a tough love approach when you arrived home.

“Go change,” he said when you walked through the front door, and you sighed as you looked at him sitting in the kitchen like a disappointed father.

“Jake, I’m not getting into this right now, I need-” he stood and took your bag from you, setting it aside on the floor.

“That wasn’t a question, go put something comfortable on, now.” he repeated and you sighed again, padding down the hallway and slipping into your pajamas. When you returned he’d set a plate of pasta on the table along with a glass of water and he gestured for you to sit. “When was the last time you ate?” he asked.

“I don’t… uh-” you started but you genuinely couldn’t remember. Was it breakfast this morning? Or dinner last night…

“Yeah, if you have to think about it, it’s been too long.” he said, pushing the plate closer to you and encouraging you to eat, which you did, and as you put the first bite in your mouth you realized how hungry you had been and how much you missed your husbands cooking while he’d been gone. “Honey, you can’t keep doing this.”

“What do you mean?” you asked in between bites, looking up at him inquisitively.

“Running yourself ragged, you know I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world no matter what, but you look tired. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping… it’s not healthy and this is scaring the crap out of me.” he said with a sigh, and you could see just how serious he was being and you softened.

“You don’t have to be scared, Jake…”

“Yes, I do. Because if this is how you are when I’m here, what are you like when I’m not?”

“You don’t need to worry-”

“Yes, I do. This right here symbolizes that I will worry about you for the rest of my life,” he said, pointing to the ring on his finger. “And I need you to take better care of yourself, honey… I know how important work is, I know that you are the lifeline for a lot of people but you cannot help them if you burn out,” you could tell he was pushing back tears and you felt your heart crack wide open. “And this part I’m not saying to make you feel bad, or guilty because I understand but… I’m not going to have this time forever, there will be another deployment.” You pushed your plate aside and walked around the table to come sit in his lap.

“I’m sorry, baby…” you said, wrapping your arms around him and he rested his head on your chest. “I’m sorry, you’re right… I’ll make more time for you.”

“And for you,” he said and you nodded. He pulled the plate across the table and wrapped his arms around your waist, “now finish eating.” he said, and you did. You made sure to finish the whole serving and the glass of water while he gently rubbed along your thigh and you couldn’t help but giggle when he scooped you up and carried you down the hallway. “And now, we are going to go lay in bed, I am going to show you all of the ways I’ve missed my wife, and you are not going into work early tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded, “yes sir.” you said as he pulled you against him in bed.

“I love you so much, honey… you are the most important thing to me and I need you to start treating yourself better because I just won’t stand for anything less,” he said and you softly smiled.

“I love you, too.”

#comet answers #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin fan fiction #jake hangman seresin fluff #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin #jake seresin fan fiction #jake seresin fluff #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman #hangman fan fiction #hangman fluff #hangman x reader #hangman x you #top gun maverick #top gun fan fiction

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 8 days

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After seeing your beautiful new piece with the cute vignettes of team 7+team kakashi, i was wondering — how do you feel about Naruto (the boy)?

o thankyou! ;u; my feelings on narts the boy are so torn tbh so im gonna throw my ramblings under a cut bc idk if i can articulate this correctly

og naruto narts? love him. adore him. i miss that dumb little punk kid i loved him challenging the system and wanting to change it and help people. i /wanted/ him to inspire people like kakashi and gai's gen to do the same and realize how fucked up their childhoods were being weapons of the state at like 6 and 7

shippuden narts? He just rubs me the wrong way. started out good with gaara rescue arc, but then all his pizzaz left and let his obsession of sasuke be the only priority. (This isnt his fault, but kishi writing it so ONLY naruto could kill or defeat most of the enemies with his new op move was so boring to me. none of the secondary cast got to do shit) He also didnt take one second to question if his endgoal is still the same since he turned out to be exactly the opposite of "anyone can be hokage" bc he turns out to have the specialist blood of all and got revealed as a nepo baby and chosen one. He licherally became complicit and changed next to nothing as hokage in the end. the status quo remained the fucking same. Naruto rejecting the hokage position bc he recognizes neji was right is so much more interesting to me

Naruto is at his best when sasuke isnt involved imho. I adore his interactions with everyone else bc he truly loves his friends and family, but him and sakura were so delusional over sasuke but didnt actually Know him and his trauma they just loved the Idea of him. the way they talk about it, they act like sasuke was kidnapped and didnt CHOOSE to leave and even tried to kill them multiple times. shikamaru stronger than me, it'd slap the shit out of both of them

I wish they'd head on addressed the whole "sasuke's whole family was slaughtered in front of him" together and not "you have to come back so we can be a team and things can be normal again like nothing ever happened and fight me!" naruto would be the first one to offer to pull up on itachi with him lets be real lmaoo. I wanted him to offer sasuke support to BOTH tackle the injustices of the leaf. it's kinda like hiruzens passiveness with orochimaru and danzo. never holding certain loved ones accountable he was the same way with obito and even hiruzen himself. (is he even aware of hiruzen's part in the uchiha massacre or obito killing his parents?? then pardoning orochimaru?? HELLO???)

There were moments where i did see our boy shine thru, but then the god powers bullshit hit. in short, bring back my punk little man. his pure intentions were ruined by bad writing

my naruto endgame for him is not stuck at a deskjob he hates with a nuclear family he neglects and more he chooses to give up the hokage job to someone who actually can enact change and who isnt from a prestigious family. travels around helping people hands on and finally gets the peaceful life with found family he never had. advocating better for the next gen.

part one naruto, my baby boy

#its so funny bc i defend sasuke when i talk about naruto bc he was..... not a great friend in hindsight to me #sasunaru toxic rivals kakagai healthy rivals truly #making naruto minatos son was probably the worst choice

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letteredlettered · 27 days

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Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

#work #jobs #capitalism #life

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world-of-wales · 12 days

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The Indian PM is asking for votes in the upcoming election by saying that voters shouldn't support the opposition leaders coz they eat........Non-vegetarian food.......

This isn't him relating environment problems and veganism/vegetarianism, but rather him campaigning that in a secular country only his party is the best because they follow the moral and vegetarian majority religion. Which is funny in itself since, except for North India, the rest of the Hindus in other parts consume all kinds of non vegetarian food items.

And to most people outside India, this vegetarian vs non-veg debate might seem foolish, but here it is proving to be the main election agenda now. A lot of people may think oh he's advocating for being vegetarian, that's great. But unfortunately not in this case coz his party which is filled with upper caste Hindus mostly use this argument of food choices to demonize minority communities in the country, they deny protein to poor children in the meals provided to them by the state in public schools, their supporters go and harass & have in many cases k-worded innocent people in name of 'Cow protection', force butchers who come from low income backgrounds to shut down their stores making them unable to earn even the meagre ammount that they do etc etc. So veg/non-veg in the case of Indian elections rn is so much more than just a debate on dietary choices.

So, no talks of education, health, economy, jobs etc this election season but rather cheap and completely nonsense topics during campaigning. And I wish I could call it satire, but unfortunately this is what the so-called largest democracy has come to.

This issue is just the tip of the iceberg of all the things that need to be changed in this country to take it back to where it was before this train wreck that the past decade has been and to start rebuilding it brick by brick.

The reason I'm posting this today is that, I want to request anyone who's eligible to vote in India to PLEASE GO VOTE! exercise ur right. Don't let anyone tell you that your voice doesn't matter coz it does. And it's never been more essential for you to make use of Article 326 and cast your vote. It is ur fundamental right.

I don't think there could be a more appropriate time to ask you for this, as it is the 133rd birth anniversary of Dr. Ambedkar today, the father of the Constitution. The man who fought all his life to make sure everyone in his country had democratic fundamental rights. He gave you that Constitution that protects you and your interests and rights. The tip of his pen changed the world you live in today for the better. So please don't let that the sacrifices made by him or of all those in the Constituent Assembly, of all those who came before you go to waste. They gave this country their all, so you could have all the freedoms that you do today. They gave you a constitution based on liberty, equality, fraternity, secularism, socio-economic democracy etc to protect you, the citizens. And now, as these rights slowly get encroached upon, it is more important than ever before for you to assert these rights.

Go read the election manifestos of the parties and learn about the candidates fighting elections from ur constituency. Please make an informed choice. Don't go and vote for people on the basis of religion, caste, etc. Go and vote for that person who actually talks about the on ground issues you face, who has plans to make ur life, and the society you live in better. Who promises to give you the basic rights that you deserve, someone who promises not to infringe upon the fundamental rights as enshrined in the constitution, the one who talks about creating better employment, creating a robust health system, making sure every child in this country has access to quality education, someone who wants to create a safe space for women not just out in the world but also in the private sphere, someone who promises to work towards dealing with the problems of inflation & other economic problems you face, someone who wants to work towards dealing with the vast enomic disparities that exist across the board. Someone who wants to work towards providing safeguards for the most vulnerable people and communities, etc etc.

Go on the website of the election commission, check out the dates of vote casting in your area, mark that date, wake up that morning take ur voter id card and please go push a button on the machine at the particular booth you fall under.

Don't let people tell you that you are young, you don't know what you need, you shouldn't be jumping into political discourse, don't let them discourage you from exercising the most important right the constitution has given you. TRUST ME, YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, POLITICS AFFECTS YOU TOO, THE GOVERNMENT POLICIES AFFECT YOU TOO, SO YOUR VOICE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT IN THESE UPCOMING ELECTIONS AS THAT OF THE OTHERS!

YOUR VOTE MATTERS. IT'S NEVER MATTERED MORE!

#psa

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didalexiabreakupwitholgayet · 15 days

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hi :) thanks for all your answers!

lingering question from a while back, but do you consider the players who made themselves available for selection after being part of las 15 to be scabs? the article that lucia garcia wrote sort of made it sound like that, and it's hard to read the situation differently.

it makes me respect Mapi and Patri so much, to stick to their guns even when everyone else went back.

I get all their careers have a lot on the line, but like.. collective bargaining only works if it's collective, right? Is there nuance i'm not seeing?

sigh...i have gone back and forth so many times throughout this entire saga. and in some ways, i'm still working out how to make sense and reconcile it all. it's complicated, and i think you have to factor in the prior history.

first, spain has the unique situation of having its draconian sports law in effect. according to this law, players who refuse a call-up risk sanctions and losing their license to play football.

second, there have been prior protests before that were unsuccessful and only helped to damage individual players. vero boquete essentially threw away her nt career because she decided to speak up after the 2015 world cup. that has to have been percolating in the back of some players' minds.

third, you are right. you can't have a successful revolution with partial participation. people kept comparing the uswnt lawsuit with las 15 and they are both completely different situations. however, what uswnt had going for them was unity. all the uswnt players signed on. that never happened with las 15 (there were only 15 of them!). and there was even pressure from liga f clubs to back out of any protest that prevented other spanish players from signing on. so it wasn't so easy to have every player in the spanish nt system just sign on. if there are so many divisions from the start, then there's no way that movement can be successful. (especially when you had players who went out of their to way to kiss vilda's/rfef ass, but that's a separate conversation!)

plus, there was so much media backlash and skewering of the players that made the divisions worse. rfef was talking to players individually and breaking down the lines of protest even further. it was a huge mess. and ultimately, some players felt that they could have better progress by working within the system. as alexia said in the oliva conclave, if they left, then they knew rfef would just call in the youth players who would have no voice or say in the matter. so no, i don't think they are scabs because there was no proper picket line in the first place. it was a fractured mess from day one.

and of course, i have the utmost respect for mapi, patri, and others who basically sacrificed a world cup to stand up for their ideals. that takes so much guts. but i also understand why others returned to the team to advocate for change from within because they saw how corrupt and messed up rfef was in quashing any dissent.

there is still so much left to go with improving conditions in spain, and some days it feels like spain never won the world cup because we never had the boom that england did after winning the euros. but vilda/rubiales would still be here had it not been for the spain winning the world cup. there never was that amount of world pressure and scrutiny and political will to actually get things improved. so that's something.

#rfef ruins all the good things #futfem #woso

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compassionatereminders · 14 days

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Hey, so I am currently dealing with a really horrible situation. Trigger warning for emotional manipulation

Basically, I had a fight with my mom and stepdad 2 summers ago. I tried to stand up for myself, and they freaked out. They basically tried to victim-blame me and gave me the silent treatment. They told me I had to apologize for their reaction. I did, but it was the emptiest apology I've ever given. I didn't mean it at all.

Fast forward to now, I have moved out and I told them I needed some space since they were helping me with setting up my place, and it was uncomfortable for me. I think I felt uncomfortable because they have continued to ignore the fight we had, and are just acting like it's fine. And also, I felt weird they were doing all this work, painting and setting up lights.

I told them I needed space, and they said it was convenient timing that we just finished painting. My mom sent me a literal spreadsheet of things I had to reimburse her for, while also saying she felt like I used her. Which I did not. I feel upset that she thinks our spending time together was me using her. Like I would buy her lunch. I bought all the paint and stuff. It was a fun project we were doing together. But I just grew increasingly more uncomfortable. I did consider asking someone else to help, but I thought she would be offended and say, "I can do it. Don't waste your money hiring someone."

But it's really not about the painting. She's just shifting the blame off of how she treated me. She's not taking accountability for the actual harm this has caused me.

She basically is treating me like she's a collections agency, collecting invoices. I'm the one who feels used and discarded. And violated.

I feel awful. Like I completely messed everything up. And I know I did the right thing logically by creating this boundary, but I feel like I've ruined my life.

And I don't know how to make this better. I feel like I've done everything I can to advocate for myself. And now it's time to step back. But it also feels like my support system has been ripped from me.

I'd appreciate it if you had any advice. I'm not really sure what else to do.

As unfortunate as it is, some people are not going to acknowledge and face how they hurt you let alone apologize and change their behavior. When it comes to dealing with those people, the solution is usually to avoid them as much as possible, to keep any unavoidable interactions short and superficial, and to prioritize relationships with people who are meeting you halfway and treating you right

#chat with kat #manipulation tw #guilt tripping tw #victim blaming tw #emotional abuse tw #abuse tw #gaslighting tw

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whetstonefires · 10 months

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so the op of that anti-voting post DMed me just now, transcript follows:

slash-dot-com

even if all democratic systems were inherently always going to be "inadequate" i think our american democracy is severely flawed in glaring ways, its just literally antiquated and i think there are much better democratic systems. our voting system is not representative of the people either, which almost everybody admits, i'm not saying theres some nefarious mastermind behind it, but it is a design flaw, whether the flaw was made on purpose or on mistake. its easy to quit american democracy because it doesnt even seem to Want you to participate, like from so many factors its difficult to engage with it in any meaningful way

whetstonefires

yeah it's not a fantastic system

it's just also pretty pointless to try to punish it for that by leaving it in the hands of people who hate you

it won't get its feelings hurt and try to woo us back

i used to be really mad about how stupid and ugly it is but the more history i've studied and the older i've gotten the more it's been like, oh human society is a clown show always

slash-dot-com

but for several election cycles the popular vote nor the general will of the people have even impacted the people who are elected, the people who hate us are in power because the system is designed to benefit them

whetstonefires

i mean?? biden did in fact defeat trump, and the democrats did make gains in congress in both the last two cycles

slash-dot-com

my vote in my state genuinely does not matter in federal elections, in local elections yeah sometimes it does, but there needs to be an overhaul on our democracy and its election process so its more reflective of the people. currently its so broken that voting legit doesnt change anything

biden sucks

whetstonefires

he sucks less than trump tho????

like to a screamingly significant extent

slash-dot-com

i'm trying to make a more general and large scale point than one single election cycle and sitting president

whetstonefires

and i've made my counter point which is that not voting is not a constructive response to the problem

slash-dot-com

doing other things than voting is just as effective if not more so than voting, so not voting in a broken democracy isn't nonconstructive

whetstonefires

and in fact the broad tendency of idealists and leftists to be disengaged from the political process because it's dirty and inadequate, especially at the local level, is the *cause* of many of the systemic problems

doing other things can be constructive, but not voting is a non-action

and advocating against voting is a *harmful* action

so it's not constructive

the other things and the voting are independent of one another

slash-dot-com

thats just really ill conceived, i'm honestly just surprised by that response, you should really think more deeply about this. i'm not sure what you think this way of thinking and approaching politics is accomplishing

and then i couldn't send anything else (it was going to be a ?? because that didn't really follow naturally but before they said that i'd been typing a bit listing all the voting-related activism that it made sense to dip on due to alienation from the process, because energy and funding better spent elsewhere etc, but opposing voting itself was not in the same category) because they blocked me, which is just rude. you started this conversation man!

also i can't figure out how to make tumblr let me block them back.

so i made a post about it lmao.

i still don't know what positive good they think arguing against voting is supposed to achieve. like why is that a good use of energy.

#hoc est meum #i throw salt #little bit #politics #independence day

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