#sorry for hijacking but I’ve been thinking about this all day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canmom · 1 year

Text

kerberos final comments

ok, i think this is the end of the latest week where i take a semi-deep dive into a semi-obscure film series from the 80s-90s. after all’s said and done, then... what the hell was going on with this thing? does it manage to justify, you know... that?

So. About the Nazi thing.

If we start with the manga, Kerberos is a essentially similar concept to Ghost in the Shell (which is ofc in Japanese 攻殻機動�� Kōkaku Kidōtai, “Mobile Armored Riot Police”) or Patlabor. It’s about a heavily armed, ethically dubious near-future paramilitary police force, the sort of people you’d find in such an organisation, and the political context that created it. Compared to GitS, its characters are much less vividly defined, but like GitS, it largely reacts to the world through the lens of Kerberos, and to a certain extent their rivals Public Security. Plotlines in Kerberos concern the individual lives of Kerberos soldiers, or the machinations of their leaders trying to expand the organisation and squabbling over territory with the normal police. It’s full of dog metaphors

Incidentally, if you’ve seen Jin-Roh, you’ve seen a better version of the first three storylines in the manga. The fourth one concerns radicals hijacking a plane, drawing on the actions of radical groups in the 70s. The leader of the the radicals takes more of a centre stage, although his motivations are kinda opaque at the end of the day; he seems like a prototype of the villain Yukihito Tsuge in Patlabor 2, at least in terms of affect, but he dies before his hijacking can get very far.

All of that on the face of it sounds reasonably interesting! The art of the manga is very nice in an Otomo-inspired sort of way, and while none of the characters are especially sympathetic, it’s a convincing window into an interesting historical pastiche.

But the first thing you’d ever notice about Kerberos is that they dress like this:

...big scary Nazis with glowing red eyes. That’s the iconic image of the series, and just about every work makes sure to have some scenes of a guy dressed like that machine gunning some poor unarmored sods, to greater or lesser dramatic effect depending on whether or not you’re Hiroyuki Okiura.

So my biggest question going into Kerberos is like, why do they dress up like weird Nazi space marine cosplayers?

Diegetically, it’s because Japan lost WWII to the Nazis, who used a nuke. Most Kerberos media that I’ve encountered doesn’t especially seem to bother spelling that out, but Jin-Roh - easily the most artistically accomplished of any Kerberos media, sorry Oshii - goes far enough to illustrate it with historical-photo styled still images of Nazi soldiers marching up the streets of Japan:

In Jin-Roh, at least, Kerberos are clearly continuous with this occupation, with an almost identical shot of Kerberos soldiers marching shortly after:

How did Japan end up in a war with Germany, a country that notably does not border the Pacific, and how the hell did they end up losing so badly as to be occupied when Germany lost the war hard even with Japan’s help in reality? (Who indeed fought the war besides Japan and Germany?) But none of the Kerberos media I’ve read have tried to address this wider geopolitical situation; the role of replacing the Americans with the Nazis seems to be to just slap a lot of WWII-era German aesthetics in a rather superficial way: replace an airline with Lufthansa here, or have the slogans of the protestors mention Lebensraum or Weimar there.

‘Nothing would have been much different if the Nazis occupied Japan instead of the Americans’ is a statement that would have a lot to unpack (an anti-American statement? discomfort over being allied with the Nazis?), but I’m not sure it’s really what Kerberos is going for. If you look at otaku-oriented media from this period, you do notice a current of Nazi military equipment obsession (which hasn’t exactly gone away, indeed acquiring increasingly esoteric iterations) coming from the ‘military otaku’ side of the subculture.

For example, in Gainax’s FLCL, there’s an episode where Naota’s father Kamon is dressed in a Nazi uniform for a paintball episode (the same one which has parodies of Western animation like South Park), complete with swastika:

Likewise, Oshii’s adaptation of Urusei Yatsura also has a few recurring bits with Nazi imagery, generally played for jokes. For example, in the second movie Beautiful Dreamer characters dress up a café with a WWII theme with a bunch of Nazi symbols, which is discussed well by Hazel in her video on Vladlove (around 11:40 if the timecode doesn’t work)...

youtube

So there’s definitely a sense that in the subculture at this time, Nazi imagery doesn’t have the ‘definitely an edgelord, almost certainly an actual fascist’ connotation that it does over here. In Western media meanwhile, Nazis are generally used as the ultimate villains over whom we were victorious, suitable for when you portray some morally uncomplicated violence. So putting in these scary Nazi suits as your main characters feels like a really dramatic statement to me, but it may not have been for Oshii.

Nevertheless, let’s see where we go with it. My general approach to the Kerberos films has been to assume that Kerberos members are by default unsympathetic, it’s drilling into the fucked up depths of fash ideology, and Kerberos certainly admits that reading. A lot of the Kerberos manga concerns the organisation’s overly violent methods and eagerness to accumulate arms causing escalations and needless deaths left right and centre.

Jin-Roh especially shows Kerberos’s conspiratorial ‘Wolf Brigade’ carrying out a ruthless purge of their enemies to preserve their organisation, and then performing a completely fucked loyalty test by demanding that Fuse murder his girlfriend to prove his dedication to being a ‘wolf’. In contrast to the stylised theatric approach of Oshii’s violence, Jin-Roh’s scenes of bodies being cut down by machine guns are about as sickening and hyperreal as animation can make them - they are honestly far nastier than they would be in live action.

In Jin-Roh, the Metropolitan Police come off every bit as fanatical as they describe their enemies. The revolutionaries aren’t necessarily cast in a particularly positive light, with Kei as the main member of the Sect to get extensive screen time - and she finds herself thoroughly disillusioned with being a bomb courier as she gets drawn into the machinations of Kerberos and Public Security. But, even with the playing around the ‘who is the wolf’ concept, by the end we see Okiura’s take on Oshii’s endless dog metaphors is that committing to Kerberos is to decide to assume the role of the rapacious wolf of Red Riding Hood, who would shoot anyone to preserve the unit.

But what about Oshii’s manga? I talked about how Oshii was of the Anpo generation, and certainly the Anpo demonstrations - and the various desperate terrorist actions of the New Left that came after - sit barely under the surface. However, the point of view it’s interested in seems to be much more the lower ranking members of Kerberos. Like dogs - good god is this man obsessed with dogs lmao - the Kerberos guys are blindly loyal, have little other place in society, and are unceremoniously disposed of every so often. The main characters of the films feature here and there - notably Bunmei is the one scheming against Kerberos here, recognisably modeled after his depiction in The Red Spectacles, and Midori gets to stop the plane hijacking - but it’s as likely to focus on a low-ranking soldier (the first Inui, model for Fuse) or a helicopter pilot. There is not, by and large, a lot of internal conflict for any of the characters.

Tachiguishi Retsuden, although it seems a different alternate history again, gives another piece of the puzzle. (Unfortunately the only subtitles I can find for this movie are badly translated from the Chinese subs, which makes it a little hard to follow.) The stand-up noodle bars are associated not just with crime but with stray dogs, who were poisoned in large numbers as a health control measure; this image is also shown in the Urusei Yatsura episode that invented the ‘tachiguishi’ freeloader concept, where we see a dog and a cat fighting outside. Oshii clearly sees something tragic in the extermination of these dogs who had no place in the more modern society, and seems to find this a suitable metaphor for his fascist paramilitary.

To me, the idea that the Kerberos were heroic in suppressing the crime and protests seemed like an obvious propagandistic fantasy, and given the choice I’m obviously gonna sympathise more with the leftist rebels rather than the Nazi-backed state in this conflict, even if the situation has decayed as civil wars do into a point where both sides are more concerned with self-preservation and ruling their turf than winning. Painting the state in Nazi colours then seems like a way of saying, don’t take this guys very sympathetically, and it’s definitely a convincing depiction of a bureaucratic state mired in infighting (no doubt because it’s drawing heavily from history).

But... I’m not entirely sure this is the angle Oshii is taking on it.

In StrayDog, lost puppy Inui searches Taiwan for daddy Kōichi to tell him what to do, with the help of a girl Tang Mie who kind of adopts these two exiles as they do their homoerotic bonding thing. They spend a long time wandering around Taiwan to slow music (it’s a very Oshii film), having muted conversations about Inui’s need to find a master to tell him what to do. Once the pair find Kōichi, although Inui is angry with Kōichi for abandoning Kerberos, they settle down and seem to be kind of happy just being some kind of lobster-fishing polycule. Inui here can’t be the same Inui as in the manga (since that Inui died), but he’s basically the same concept, a boy who is helpless without someone telling him what to do [there’s not exactly a consistent Kerberos continuity so much as variations on the same ideas].

Public Security are on the trail though, and Inui - loyal to Kōichi despite the fact that Kōichi is plainly not worth any sort of loyalty - overpowers him in order to carry out a power-armoured suicide by cop and give Kōichi a chance to escape (which we know that he uses to go to Japan and promptly get shot). If the action scenes in The Red Spectacles were weird disconnected montages that felt extremely theatrical, the action scene here, which sees Inui advancing through a building cutting down identically trenchcoated and facepainted men who run blindly towards him, feels mostly like a video game. In the end, Inui wins the battle but dies from it.

(Which means on the one hand, highly stylised and abstracted live action violence, and on the other, hyperrealistic animated violence with plausible military tactics and genuinely horrible depictions of gun death. Going in opposite directions from different starting points... I’d say they end up in a similar place, but tbh Jin-Roh, as in most things, is way more impactful.)

Anyway, StrayDog seems to have more of an “isn’t this sad” sort of flavour. The dog metaphor for Oshii in the manga is stated most explicitly in a scene shared with Jin-Roh, where Bunmei discusses disposing of the ‘Special Brigade’ in order to integrate Kerberos with the regular police. The dialogue in both versions is a speech full of dog metaphors, but in the manga, the scene is further introduced with a dead Kerberos member and a stray dog passing by. This metaphor then becomes central to StrayDog.

The manga’s Inui, like Fuse in Jin-Roh, hesitates before shooting and almost dies, but here the person he hesitates to shoot is not a bomb courier who’s prepared to take them both down, but a civilian who is trying to help one of the revolutionaries, who levels a gun at Inui. Inui’s story here is about failure to integrate into the Kerberos unit, who aren’t willing to accept this particular ‘stray dog’ despite there being no other place for him. Inui tries to prove himself with dramatic and reckless violence, gets rejected for refusing orders, and then on his way home, gets killed in a reprise of the first situation - oh this poor boy it’s so sad.

In Jin-Roh by contrast, Fuse’s hesitance to shoot is the first move in a whole character arc - at first it seems like his remaining humanity which he eventually abandons, but we are left with some ambiguity whether his original hesitance was genuine, and happened to pay off in the Wolf Brigade’s favour, or part of a very complicated ploy. (Despite being the central character, and even seeing his dream at one point, we’re given a lot of room to interpret Fuse, and the ‘why didn’t you shoot’ question is pointedly never answered.)

Anyway, so, my conclusion about all the Nazi imagery in Kerberos is... honestly I think Oshii just thought it’s cool? As we see in VladLove, he loves to just namedrop historical trivia. I’m not sure he even considers it as fraught as I do. Which isn’t fun but I feel like any other reading is unparsimonious at this point.

What is surprising is that Okiura managed to take what Oshii was putting down and make something genuinely compelling. Jin-Roh a real proof of the power of his realist style and ability to suggest character with subtle acting. Its realist animation becomes hyperreal, the abstraction of cel shading underlining how much is ‘right’ in how the drawing moves, and it works for what’s primarily a spy movie.

At the same time... Okiura did a way better job than Oshii ever did of making those scary Nazi suits seem powerful. Kerberos here are kind of the idealised supercop Judge Dredd types - I was reminded of the Dredd movie from a few years ago where Dredd unstoppably advances through a building, killing everyone in his way. Though maybe Robocop would be a more contemporary comparison.

It works for the movie, in that Fuse’s choice to side with Kerberos and use the armour to massacre the Public Safety agents moving to apprehend him is properly sickening. It becomes kind of like a horror movie at this point, with desperate attempts to stop him with grenades bouncing off the armour.

So I guess we’ve gotten back to the old question of the different ways of portraying violence in film, what a fascist film looks like etc. I don’t want to relitigate that one, although I think Okiura’s angle is appropriate - even if it is fetishistic? One Youtube commenter on the video essay I linked back on AniNight wrote:

Jin Roh is a movie about semi-realistic bullets physics. The creators be like: Guy 1: 'Hey, you know what's cool? Seeing dolls gets rag-dolled by flying bullets.'

and he’s kinda right lol, that is sorta what the movie is about. But it remains a very effective image, much like the gunfights and realistic educations in Dahufa.

All in all, I guess the result of this deep dive is basically the existing consensus: The Red Spectacles is worth digging up as a deeply weird surreal film; I wouldn’t bother with StrayDog, the manga’s OK but Jin-Roh is imo the only one that manages to justify what it’s trading in here.

And as far as all these Nazi images goes, the aspect of the Nazis we’re focusing on in any of these films is much more ‘fearsome invading and occupying power’ than ‘perpetrators of the Holocaust’. If Nazi ideology has influenced the reconstructed Japanese state in the world of Kerberos, the series never bothers to illustrate how. Despite everything... it really doesn’t seem to actually be about the Nazis on a level beyond the superficial. The conflict in Jin-Roh/the manga is basically a heightened version of Anpo, or like... any 20th-century anticolonial movement really. In the first two movies... idk, throwing darts at a board, the Meiji restoration doing away with the samurai lol?

Meanwhile Tachiguishi-Retsuden is kind of... ah, I know some of ya had fun with it, but honestly I found it dragged really badly. The janked out subs were a large part of that and I think a decent fansub could do it a lot of good, but I kind of felt like most of the gags went on too long to really work, even with the ‘spot the well known illustrator/anime director’ game it’s playing with the casting. Though maybe being tired after a long evening of films underlies that reaction, I need to learn my lesson about three-movie film nights. The animation style was interesting as an experiment at least.

And that’s quite enough of that, I think I’m satisfied. Though at some point as far as ‘fash aesthetics in anime’ go, I still haven’t gotten around to ripping Youjo Senki a new one. Expect that... sometime. It’s an exhausting anime to think about though so who knows when.

#anime #animation night #kerberos saga #jin-roh

20 notes · View notes

notstilinski · 2 years

Text

They Both Die At The End Starters !

Taken from the 2017 novel by Adam Silvera, They Both Die At The End! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“They’ve even been drilling into my head that I should pretend I’m the main character of a story that nothing bad ever happens to, most especially death, because the hero has to be around to save the day.”

“I guess what I’ll miss the most are the wasted opportunities to live my life and the lost potential to make great friends with everyone I sat next to for four years.”

“No one should spend their last hours second guessing people.”

“I think I’ll get a twelve to three shift where I do nothing but tell people their lives are over.”

I’m a ticking time bomb, and even if you’re not blowing up when I do, you might get burned—maybe literally.”

“You’re not invincible, dumbass!”

“It’s mad pressure to do all my living in one day.”

“I read our love wrong, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“I know no one lives forever, but you should live longer than others. You matter more than other people. That’s life.”

“I’m dying and we can’t trade lives.”

“I lived through my funeral, but I wish I was already dead.”

“No. The chance you might have to watch me die.”

“Surviving showed me it’s better to be alive wishing I was dead than dying wishing I could live forever.”

“Bucket lists are pointless. You’re not gonna get everything done. You gotta go with the flow.”

“That’s a pretty dark bright-side.”

“Sorry if I pressured you to leave. You asked me to get you out of there, but I’m not sure you meant it.”

“I just don’t think I should be the judge of who actually needs my help or not, like they should do a dance or sing me a song to prove they’re worthy. Asking for help when you need it should be enough.”

“This is my spot. I come here once or twice a week. I get to say stuff like ‘I’ll have the usual.’”

“Don’t waste your breath on a question like that. Just come out and say whatever you want.”

“Nah. Leaving means living before you die. Let’s bounce.”

“It sucks how we’re all being raised to die.”

“I keep my photos in black and white because my life lost color when they died.”

“I felt unwanted, frustrated, lost, and I needed to take it out on someone. But that’s not me. It was a glitch.”

Yeah, but I wanted every possible minute with them, even if it meant being left with the memory of watching them all die in front of me.”

“Okay. I’ve signed away my right to bitch I die.”

“I feel like Indiana Jones right now.”

“Anyway, I hijacked your moment. Sorry.”

“We never act. Only react once we realize the clock is ticking.”

“Could’ve been at the cemetery sooner if a hearse carried us.”

“Weird question: Do you believe in the afterlife?”

“There’s only really room for one. Get your own grave.”

“I’ve spent so much time being pissed at my family for leaving me, Mateo. Everyone’s always running their mouth about survivors guilt but…”

“I was nine when I bothered my dad about love. I wanted to know if it was under the couch or high up in the closest where u couldn’t reach yet. He didn’t say that ‘love is within’ or ‘love is all around you.’”

“How do you know when love is love?”

“I don’t want you to see me die, but I can’t watch you die either.”

“Why can’t we have a chance?”

“You really think you can beat Death in an arm-wrestling match?”

“And you don’t need the same blood to lose a part of yourself when someone dies.”

“I wish this had some kick to it. I can’t be sober when I loose you.”

“To smiling while we can.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I know there’s no time to waste, but I had to be sure you are who I thought you were. The best thing about dying is your friendship.”

“Affection from millions and intimacy from one special person are completely different beasts.”

“I don’t know every detail about his past. But what I’ve gotten out of him in one day is more than I feel like I ever deserved. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“You’re begging for them, right? You don’t give a shit about me.”

“Are you critiquing how I saved your life?”

“The suspense of everything is killing me. I can’t take being out here.”

“But if for some reason this plan doesn’t work, we need to promise to find each other in the afterlife. There has to be an afterlife, (Name), because it’s the only thing that makes dying this young fair.”

“I would’ve loved you if we had more time.”

“Come on, (Name), it’s me. You hear me, right? It’s (Name). Wake up now. Please wake up.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #starter sentences #ask meme #ask prompts #inbow memes #inbox prompts #novel sentence starters

31 notes · View notes

jackshiccup · 8 months

Note

hi there! sorry for such the long ask, but as someone who was super into Hijack/ROBTD back into 2012-14 time (was ripped away from tumblr for several years bc of home trauma) seeing blogs like yours still active literally sends waves of nostalgia wash over me - i’ve been scrolling through your blog seeing all these new and old posts from nearly 10 years ago, seeing active Hijack fanartists/writers and ROBTD weeks still going on (when i used to be part of them im 2013/14) has genuinely brought tears into my eyes. i’m 23 now and just going on here has healed a part of 13 year-old me who was ripped away from this comfort. so what i really wanted to say is, thank you and i wish you all the joy, happiness and love in the world <3

oh my gosh please don't apologize, thank you for sending such a sweet message !! believe or not i'm actually in the exact same boat as you so it warms my heart so much knowing i'm not the only one going through extreme levels of nostalgia visiting the hijack / frostcup (is this what they're called these days) fandom again... if i think too hard about how much i've missed it my stomach starts hurting bc i have so many memories of robtd from when i was 13 too 🤧

i hope you're doing much better these days. i'm beyond glad i was able to provide you with some comfort through this silly blog ;; (maybe i would even suggest re-watching the movies for maximum comfort hehe) again, thank you so much for sending an ask, you made my night. i'm also wishing you love and happiness and that more parts of you are healing :)🌷<3!!

#i actually only recently made this blog (4 days ago i believe..) so that i would have somewhere to channel and voice out my love for hijack #and in hopes to find the 5 other people that are still into them #so it was such an unexpected but welcoming surprise to see all the new art and stories i've missed #please enjoy your stay <3 !!!! we're genuinely in this together #ask #jackshiccup ask #anonymous #if you're still up to it and if you haven't already you should read of the northmost winds and skies #bc it's what got me back in here and i have no regrets aksdhjadkjf #woah the tags got long i'm sorry..

4 notes · View notes

13thsinnr · 1 year

Note

top 5 characters of ALL time

i ask the difficult questions around here

OH. FUCK

um. UM

good lord . im basing this off 1) the characters i’ve been most attached to over the years AND 2) the characters i think are most well written. im also limiting myself to two max per media. so. yes.. these will probably be the characters that have affected me the most so. yeah.

warning: a lot of shitty people!!! plus spoilers for: witch’s heart, danganronpa, your turn to die, and minor genshin story quest spoilers

5. izuru kamukura from danganronpa

one of them is from danganronpa. embarrassing! /lh anyways i loved danganronpa so much but i loved nothing more than hajime and/or izuru’s storyline. so royally fucked up. if u don’t know it and don’t care abt dr spoilers: hajime is average but wants to go to a school where talented people go but his family doesn’t have enough money to buy him into the ‘average’ part of the school so he gets a scholarship in return for becoming a human test subject for the academy to use as they please (and adding insult to injury hes named after the academy’s founder). they essentially turn him into an emotionless superhuman with no memory of who he was previously, however it’s possible some remnants of who he was before remained as we can see him cry after his former best friend’s death. but then this super weapon meant to be used by the academy is converted to the side of evil and manipulated into seeking destruction over protection all in the name of incurable boredom. eventually kamukura is put into a sort of “restoration program” where he and other students of the academy lose all memories beyond their first day at the academy, turning kamukura back into hajime and are put on a desert island in order to possibly help mentally rescue them, only for THAT to be hijacked and for hajime to live as himself only to discover in the end he was his own enemy. ANYWAYS after THAT long winded explanation: izuru’s character was just extremely interesting to me at the time and even now, i’ve read fics about alternative endings for him that i love and i really wish more was done with him tbh.. izuru/hajime is really an interesting character and i think he deserves a lot more love because he was FASCINATING

4. diluc ragnvindr from genshin impact

this one is actually gonna be very different from the others on the list probably LMAO but. first off. diluc made me realize i was gay and transmasc. so. there’s THAT SHAJSBAKD

but. anyways. i loved diluc’s story so much. like he’s such an interesting character. diluc was a prodigy destined for greatness at a young age, getting his vision at age ten, becoming the youngest cavalry captain ever, essentially doing everything his father never got to do. he was the perfect son, and he was happy. and then his dad died AND his adoptive brother admitted to being a spy both on his 18th birthday, causing him to become depressed and to abandon his vision, and soon after his post as a knight (along with some outside interference). diluc became a reclusive loner, distanced himself from the city he loved and even the people he loved. and yet, through all of it, he couldn’t stop himself from caring. from the shadows he helped to protect the city and put himself at risk numerous times for the sake of the people he loved.

and also, diluc is a BADASS.. like .. the bridge scene?? getting banned from fantasy russia for killing too many people??? idk. all in all diluc is and probably always will be my favorite genshin character and i think he deserves a lot more love in the fandom because GOD knows he deserves it

3. ashe bradley from witch’s heart

took out matty my apologies. i didn’t really talk abt him but was also crazy about him. ashe and matty (sorry got rid of his like 2 sentences) spawned the most batshit insane ocs of mine and they completely kickstarted me creating these horrible awful people. i’m not gonna go too in depth here cause i’m eepy but: ashe’s family was killed in a fire and he is trying to revive them by being a witch hunter. ashe as a character is so FUCKED and was the most fascinating factor of WH i think cause he just made it so much more interesting.. getting to see his motivation and how he was trying to do the right thing in the WORST possible way is soul crushing and amazing and i love this game so much for it. everyone in that game really deserved so much better than the hand they were dealt but. i’m a sucker for the ones who Cannot be normal about it.

2. shin tsukimi/“sou hiyori” from your turn to die

SPEAKING OF BEING INCAPABLE OF BEING NORMAL. literally. the first (second. fine.) unhinged motherfucker i loved. and he was so similar to ashe in some ways.. shin (i’m gonna call him that sorry) discovered he had a 0% chance of survival so he decided to pretend to be someone else and then pretended to be the most horrible bastard ever and i LOVED him for it. the atrocities were great. idc. but it’s also sad that it’s the circumstance he was forced into yk??? idk. anyways. shin had such an impact on me i was insanely mental illness about him for so lonnnggg i dressed up as him for halloween one year…. god. anyways. i just am a sucker for fucked up little guys and he was such a good one

1. “midori” (sou hiyori) from your turn to die

hey that. that name is familiar. ohohohoho yea this motherfucker changed my brain chemistry i think . so let me explain.

u will not find a lot of characters like midori.. i love him and i was STILL!! cheering when he died bc he is such a HORRIBLE dude!!! he manipulated people (including CHILDREN) into unknowingly consenting to a “game” in which their lives would be toyed with for FUN, he faked his own murder and gaslit/ruined the life of the person who “killed” him, he’s not even a HUMAN anymore because he has DOLL parts (fun fact: another person has HIS human hands now!!!!!! yay!!!!!!) i believe he did a lot of human experimentation, he also stalked someone (the previous character) and pretended to be a high school student in order to manipulate him into doing things for him!! he created an ai who was programmed to be obsessively in love with him so he could use her for his benefit!! he enjoys seeing people uncomfortable and relishes in others pain!! it goes beyond him being apathetic towards others, he literally WANTS people to be hurt. the only time we see real emotion from him is in the face of death, because the only time he’s afraid of pain is if it’s his own. he’s an awful person all around but a FASCINATING one who although has driven me insane has also fascinated me for years. and. yeah. he’s my namesake. a very very interesting guy and i recommend playing yttd if you haven’t already cause it’s suuuuchhhhh a good game. pls

#yttd spoilers #witch’s heart spoilers #danganronpa spoilers #long post #so sorry i went on so long #i have opinions

4 notes · View notes

perseusjackson-jasongrace · 2 years

Text

I got tagged by the delightful @ashilrak to talk about some of my current obsessions! thank you for the tag wonderful human sending so many happy things <3

okay I have actually been super busy with life stuff recently so I haven’t been watching any shows or reading anything :( so this is a very messy undone collection of obsessions

1. taking pictures of the sunset: I love the sun and sunset is my fave time of day but I’ve recently become obsessed specifically with taking pics of the sunset because my friend posts sunset pics his people send in on his status every day so I’m always trying to send some off for the daily submission

2. I know it doesn’t count but it’s taken up a lot of my time so I’m making it count: writing up my proposal for research masters next year. the amount of research I have to do y’all I am drowning! i have to be obsessed with this topic or I’m going to go crazy

3. I’ve posted about this a couple times across my platforms so I’m sure most everyone knows but these three songs have been on loop for the better part of two weeks: “the color violet” by tory lanez, “chicago freestyle” by drake & giveon and “sanctify” by years & years

4. the korean dish (often street food but can also be found as a dish in restaurants) tteobokki (basically cylindrical rice cakes usually in a sweet and/or spicy sauce). also Mexican candy (gummy sweets with chamoy and tajin) gosh I could consume frankly unhealthy amounts of both of these things

that’s all i can think of right now

I know it’s super not cool of me but I’m not going to tag anyone. I’m sorry :( my emotional/mental energy is so low and thinking of people to tag is just making me blue-screen right now.

Instead I’m making this an open tag so seriously please feel free to hijack this post and talk about your latest obsessions or even make your own post and consider yourself tagged by me <3

I hope the week ahead treats you all gently mwah!

#ciara’s convos #i love tag games

2 notes · View notes

sarah-dipitous · 7 months

Text

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 284

Patience/The Lie of the Land

“Patience”

Plot Description: when a protégé is killed by a wraith who’s targeting psychics, Missouri Moseley asks Dean and Jody to help protect her family. Sam and Jack bond.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: if this dude is the wraith (and he is), I’m good. He would not have been let in my place of work after we closed. Also, I’m not psychic

Watching Jack watch the video Kelly left for him 🥺

I’ve been spoiled for this episode, and I’m not happy about the spoiler. (Why even bring back a character like Missouri who we haven’t seen since season one or two JUST to kill her off??)

I get why we can’t have her around all the time but damn…it would have been useful to have Missouri around SOMETIMES to read objects

Did Missouri get Encanto Bruno’d by her family? Is that why she won’t go see her son?

Jesus…she died so unceremoniously and I’m not sure how to feel about it also being offscreen

Oh, the granddaughter’s name is Patience. Does she have psychic abilities too? Maybe she can take classes with Jack from Sam

Oh shit, how’d the wraith already find her here??

Oh noooo, this is how she finds out Missouri is dead? Because Dean keeps saying was when referring to her?

Jaaaaaack, your intentions are good, and I’m sorry things keep backfiring on you. And I’m glad Sam’s telling you that and actually letting you take a real break from trying to use your powers

Ok, fine. Missouri’s son isn’t awful. He was doing a Mary Winchester. He wanted to protect his daughter from the childhood he had

If I had three people (including my daughter) telling me a wraith was after my daughter just after killing my mom, I don’t think I’d let her out of my sight, sorry.

No no no…not Jody too. Also not the dad. Oh, ok, they’re gonna be fine. Dean’s not gonna die just yet. This is Patience’s psychic visions. And now she’s using them to keep her rescuers alive.

Damn, first you get abducted by a wraith and you still have to go to calculus class today?

I’m glad Jody is collecting teen girls like pokemon and just making sure they’re heard and they make their own choices

Uh oh. We gonna get some sort of zombie Cas? Dean and Sam were arguing about Jack (and Jack was eavesdropping). So when Dean (very broken up about Cas’s death) finally said the words out loud, Jack whispered Cas’s name and Cas woke up in some void

“The Lie of the Land”

Plot Description: Bill and Nardole must embark on a dangerous mission to rescue the Doctor

Has the Doctor been brainwashed to think this? Has everyone been brainwashed to think the monks have been with humanity this whole time? Or near everyone?

Oh Bill, what did you doooo?

Creepy ass smile from the Doctor there. Yikes.

Oh damn, Magpie Electrical is still in business?? Or is it a lie like Bill’s mom being alive?

Love Bill and Nardole bonding and reminding each other that everything they’ve already been through has been real

Wanna bet that he’s genuinely with the monks? Because they went through all this trouble to get to him?

Oh…so he’s allowed to know that the monks have played with history.

Ok I know he…huh?? Bill’s so confused and so am I. But she’s more confused. I’m so glad he’s not actually working with the monks. But I don’t blame Bill for wanting to beat the shit out of both the Doctor and Nardole

Ooooooooo we’re bringing Missy out??? !!!

Missy’s requests in exchange for her help are superb, also she’s only gotten hotter in captivity

Yeah, I knew the “solution” would be to kill whoever asked the monks for help

Three parts is too many parts for a dw story

I think the Doctor is going to hijack the brainwaves the monks are sending out to try to right history

“I don’t want our last conversation to be this” “I don’t want this to be our last conversation” 😭😭😭

She’s going to sacrifice herself…oh. Bill’s love for her mom is going to save the world

Do oppressors really run when they figure out who’s really in power? I truly thought this episode was gonna be longer because they would double down in an effort to gain control again. But this is feel good escapism for the most part

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

0 notes

greeneyedsnake · 1 year

Text

GES Vol 5 Status Update:

I recently got a question about the Green-Eyed Snake series on one of my other stories, and I wanted to share my response here because A: I figure at the very least I owe you all some kind of an update, and B: I think there’s good advice there for fic-interaction in general. So, to answer the question will I continue with GES?

I don't know. I have stuff written, I have lots of stuff planned, but it's hard to actually write it these days because it's difficult to immerse myself deeply enough in Potter to write a story like that without getting thrown-out of the writing by my overwhelming disgust for the author. Spite helps, and I've managed to slog through a few sentences over the past few months largely on that basis, but it's abysmally slow. So I just don't know. Which is why I haven't really responded most of the time when people ask me about the GES series, because "idk" isn't a helpful answer for anyone I feel. But: I don't know. I want to, but it's hard. The world sucks, and she's making it worse on purpose, and it's hard to focus on working in her sandbox—even with the goal of giving her a thousand middle fingers with the resulting story—because it's hard to focus past the evil she's doing in real life to work on the story. Maybe if every Republican in America suddenly drops dead of shame and stops trying to slaughter genderqueer children, or Rowling yeets herself into an abyss or has an epiphany to maybe stop being irredeemably evil on purpose, or some other such miracle happens to make the world less awful, it'll get easier. But otherwise: I truly do not know.

I'll also say that opening an e-mail from AO3 and expecting to enjoy reading someone's comment about my new LotR fic, and instead getting this, does not engender motivation to write anything. So your tip for the day is to ask writers questions like this through more appropriate avenues in the future (tumblr, dms, one of the stories in the series in question, etc) rather than hijacking some unrelated story. And maybe remind us or something you liked about that story when you do. The few sentences I have been able to eke-out this year have all been inspired by readers commenting on some chapter of GES, because their enjoyment reminds me of why I liked that story, too. Whenever I am trying to work on it, I page back through comments and messages that people have sent, and that helps me swallow the bitter pill of JKR’s existence enough to write a few more words. Every nice (or even insightfully critical!) thing that anyone has ever said about his series helps, a lot. And I know objectively that people wouldn't ask "will you continue?" about a story they didn't like reading, but you spark no inspiration like this; only disappointment. The only reward fanfic writers get is to have readers tell them what they liked about their work, so if you want to encourage your favorite writers to write more stuff for you to read, that's the best way to go about it. Not this.

So: sorry for not saying anything sooner about the status of this story, but it was because I didn’t feel that I had anything useful to say. But that’s where we are: the story is not abandoned, it’s just being drowned right now by the weight of the world.

I do want to take a moment to thank you each and every one of you for the beautiful comments and messages and encouragement you’ve given me, though. I do want to finish this series for you at some point, I truly do. I just don’t know how, or when. But someday I genuinely hope to.

Thank you for reading, and I’m sorry to disappoint you.

#green eyed snake #harry potter and the seer's prophecy #update schedule

1 note · View note

anime-dub-transcripts · 2 years

Text

Hetalia: The Beautiful World Episode #8: The Gentle Fight Between Russia and I Transcript

This episode has Estonia's blog being hacked.

Estonia: Hehehehehe! Congrats to me for winning the carry-your-wife competition, not that anyone was very much surprised! It was fun taking the pictures with Finland. I’ll put them up on my blog. AAHUH!

{Text on webpage: Estonia’s Blog}

Estonia: What the holy heck is this?!

{Text on webpage: I hijacked your site!}

Estonia: My precious blog! It’s been turned into a fansite for Russia!

{Caption: Gentle fight between Mr. Russia and me}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Estonian man: It’s big problem! All Estonian websites are hacked!

Estonia: Oh no, I just found out my blog has been with the hijacked as well.

Estonian man: Oh! Such horror!

Estonia: Heah…who would draw a picture of Russia looking cute?

Estonia’s thoughts: And then why would they put it all over my page? The truth is, only one person could have done this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Russia: What? Someone broke into your blogging website?

Estonia: That’s not all! Mmph! They put up a drawing. It was of you---aah! A drawing of you having all the cuteness! Aahumpfh…

Estonia’s thoughts: Why does he always do this to me?

Estonia: Not to be rude, but I am doubtful of your innocence, Russia!

(Russia: Auh!)

Estonia; Who else would pull this kind of crazy stunt?

Russia: I do not know, friend Estonia; it is not me, I swear it! Do I need to convince you? Because I know what will solve this with no more questions asked. Magic metal pipe of pain!

Estonia: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mochi Estonia: Heah?

{Caption: HERO!}

America: Estonia, dude! Lithuania told me the deets so I’m here to help, bra!

Estonia: Oh, America.

America: When it comes to this Internet stuff, I am the man, my man! Now let’s track this bad guy down, blow him up, and send him to Hell!

Estonia: Wow! Yes, thanks, please be having at it! Hmmmhm…hm…hmhmhm! Hm!

America: S’up, bird? What’s the haps? Bra, your connection is slow!

Estonia’s thoughts: Well, it is a DSL line, so…

Narrator: Estonia’s Internet is notoriously slow, so connectivity tends to be an issue. Or ‘90s retro, for the hipsters. Of course, American sites don’t help, what with flash pages, huge images, full-screen videos, and hilarious cats.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mochi Estonia: HAAH!

America: We’re getting close here, dude. And you? Find anything?

Estonia: Thanks to you, I think we’ll get him soon.

{Caption #1: Analyze}

{Caption #2: Analyze}

{Caption #3: Close in}

{Caption #4: Close in}

Estonia [narrating]: While he’s been closing in on his location, I’ve been analyzing the records left on the server. I am starting to see traces of him now. It is very exciting.

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

(Estonia: Zoom!)

(America: Hack!)

Estonia: Check and mate, hacker!

Estonia’s thoughts: This is where you lose, Russia!

Hacker: Wasn’t me!

Police officer: Yes, it was.

Estonia: Eh…who’s that?

(America: Yeah! That’s what I thought, hacker man! The hero strikes again!)

Estonia’s thoughts: I don’t understand. According to my calculation, the culprit was---

Russia: Estoniiiaaaaa!

(Estonia: EEHEHE!)

Estonia: I’m sorry about the other day, buddy.

Russia: So the culprit has been caught! I’m glad to hear that. Yeah, now I can read your blog again!

Estonia: Eh?

Russia: I’ve been cleared of suspicion and things have been settled amicably.

Estonia: What? Are you for serious?

Russia: No, is funny joke! You knew this would not be end!

Estonia: Ahehehe! That was funny! Ahehehehehe!

(Russia: Hahaha! Magic metal pipe of pain!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Credit text: Cast:

Estonia: Estonia

Russia: Russia

America: America}

{Credit text:

Ordinary Person A: Eric Beaton

Ordinary Person B: Clint Westwood}

{Credit text: Music: Austria}

{Credit text: Person in charge of continuing to intently trash the movie: Britain}

{Credit text: Hero: America}

{Credit text: The person who just takes surreal videos for the time being: France}

{Credit text: END}

{Text on screen: Independent Movie by Estonia}

{Caption #1: Movie}

{Caption #2: Ending}

Prussia: The end credits were three times longer than the movie!

#anime #anime transcripts #anime dub transcripts #hetalia #hetalia dub transcripts

0 notes

grumpyeagleandfriends · 3 years

Text

À Terre | Poe Dameron x OC/Reader

A/N: Reader is a Resistance pilot that manages to escape capture by hijacking a ship. Injured and disoriented, they rejoin the Resistance by crash landing just outside of the base. A certain distraught squadron leader runs out to help.

Hurt/Comfort. Gratuitous, self-serving one shot. I don’t like using “y/n” so I give the reader a generic, 1 syllable Star Wars name in the middle of this bad boy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been daydreaming about this scene for months, so I finally decided to write it out. There’s a little bit of a long set up, but I’m not sorry about it.

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions blood. References torture. Shellshock. Cursing. Injection (so needles)

Word count: 5,445 Masterlist Part II

You woke up on the floor of your tent sometime in the early evening. Your memory of exactly where you had been prior was unsurprisingly inaccessible. There were so many holes in your recollection of your time on Batuu. Certain details were lost much like when a computer fails to locate stored data. It was the only way you could describe the feeling, because you felt more like a malfunctioning machine these days than anything else.

Nearly all of your senses seemed dull and warped. Time, smell, touch, hearing…only your eyesight really remained proficient. There was no way to judge how long you had been asleep. They made the sessions so unpredictable that you could no longer determine the exact time of day. You only knew that at some point they would begin, and after far too long they would eventually end. The drugs made you sleep for stretches of time that varied. Depending on the cocktail they administered, you could be out for a couple of hours or multiple days. Slowly, you began to stretch and test your limbs. The familiar stiff ache in your body was still ever present. As you forced yourself to move about, your arms quickly found the limit of your restraints. They remembered to double lock the chains this time, you noticed. You could tell that sleep wouldn’t return for you anytime soon. You would be awake until well after the sunrise and following sunset. That gave you plenty of time to think. You were amongst the first to volunteer for the solo mission to Batuu. They needed someone who could pilot and who spoke decent Huttese. You were only supposed to spend five days max on planet before returning back to base. You needed to talk to some smuggler rings about intelligence on a possible First Order spy network. While remaining undercover you would help them intercept a supply shipment destined for a First Order post. It was a shipment supposedly full of inner territory riches that were hard to come by all the way out at Black Spire. In turn, they would give forth what information they knew.

An easy and simple reconnaissance mission. In and out. As someone still relatively new to the Resistance and only ranking as high as lieutenant, you would pass conveniently under the radar. Leia didn’t want to send a more experienced member and risk having their cover being blown. You saw it as the first opportunity where you could prove yourself as more than just a sky jockey, so you jumped. But now the five days you were meant to be on Batuu had stretched into an undefinable amount of time. You no longer knew how long you had been gone.

From the beginning, Poe was firmly against you signing up for this mission. He was furious that Leia had even agreed to let you leave by yourself. After you volunteered in front of everyone during the meeting, he pulled you into his quarters and began chewing you out like you were back in flight school. “I’m your CO. Did you even think of running this idea by me before opening your mouth?” “Poe, you heard what they needed! Pilot. Can speak to the Hutts. Low profile. Who else could that be?” He shook his head while he watched you list the criteria on your fingers. “Don’t you see that this mission is fucked? Do I need to spell it out for you?” He gritted this out through clenched teeth, his anger coming to a rapid simmer just under the surface. He patronizingly began to count on his own hands. “One. You aren’t experienced enough to go alone. Two. The risk is too great for very little reward. Three. Our resourc-” “Too little reward?!” You spat, effectively interrupting his lecture. “Weeding out this First Order spy network is not reason enough for you?” “We need every one of our pilots!” Poe bellowed back at you, shoving his desk chair as he stormed away. “Are you going to look me in the goddamn eyes and insist that you don’t hear what I’m saying? If there is one hiccup and the mission goes south, Batuu is too far out. Our resources are too strapped to scrounge up a rescue. You are entirely on your own.” Coming from him, all of those reasons seemed painfully hypocritical. “You don’t think I can do it.” You stated it as fact, not caring anymore if your voice displayed how hurt you felt. “Just fucking say that then! You’ve gone alone countless times for missions that were way far more doomed than this one. But the second someone else tries-” Poe made a sound of frustrated disgust. “I didn’t say that I don’t think you’re capable. That’s not what this is about, so don’t pull that childish shit with me.”

There it was, you thought. The real word that revealed how he truly felt—childish. You would always be on some lower level for him, never his equal. Never due the same respect.

It shut you down immediately. There was no talking with someone who didn't respect you. You watched him head for the door. He angrily hit the button for it to slide open. “I’ve said enough.” He spoke, leaning back heavily against the doorframe. “Either you listen or you don’t, but just know one thing. You leave on this mission and you’re done. I need people on my squadron who can follow orders when it counts, who know when to swallow their pride and take advice.” “You of all people can’t be saying this.” Poe only nodded curtly towards the exit. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re done talking. You have your orders.” Your heated conversation over the matter still rang sharply in your ears the next morning when you flew out from the hangar. What was happening between you and Poe was fucked up. Sleeping with your commanding officer violated just about every damn oath you ever swore. It was chaotic and messy on multiple levels, but you both clung to it with desperation and recklessness. There was just too much commonality between you - natives to Yavin IV, children of parents who fought in the Battle of Endor. You were two Rebel brats who inherited this new war against the very boogeyman your parents’ generation gave everything to defeat. History hardly remembered them and it would certainly not be any kinder to either of you. The bleakness of that shared truth took its toll. Lying pressed together in the dark was the only temporary balm either of you had.

Now here you were, battered and growing steadily weaker as you lay on the dirt floor of a canvas tent, somewhere in the jungles of Batuu. Soon you would be forced to confront the reality that Poe had been right. It was only a matter of time before infection or some disease took you. The thought made you bitterly angry. This mission started off relatively well, but times were more desperate than maybe you or the others had realized in the outer rim territories. You succeeded in working out a deal with the gang identified by Resistance intelligence, but things disintegrated when the heist fell through. The attempt to overtake the freighter destined for First Order systems quickly turned ugly. A rival gang had been hired to ensure its safe passage and you didn’t have the necessary fire power to respond. In a desperate moment to save your own life and the lives of your business partners, you made the difficult call to let the freighter escape. Terrified to return back to their syndicate boss empty handed, the gang decided to take you as a payment. They didn’t know who you worked for, but they felt that the person they currently served would be curious to find out. At least, that’s what they seemed to desperately hope for.

Ransom money was easy business in the outer rim, and even if you weren’t of any value to the First Order, offering a young, able-bodied prisoner wasn’t a total loss. You were shackled and transported across-planet to a remote camp out in the jungle. A hood was shoved over your head for the entire journey, but just from listening you were able to judge that they were moving you somewhere pretty far out. Your ears only detected animals and the occasional passing vehicle, which probably meant farms and maybe the occasional trading post. The hood was finally yanked off your head sometime after arrival. As soon as your eyes adjusted to the light, you tried to memorize everything. The camp was fenced off with guard spires at all four corners. You did your best to commit to memory the location of the big tent where they dragged you before their boss. Much to your surprise, the person they answered to wasn’t a Hutt, but a human named Mar Alem. He was tall and thin with no visible body hair. You remembered thinking that he resembled a muscular baby. His smile was unnerving and it never seemed to leave his face. You soon found out that his business was the slave trade, and with that revelation your situation suddenly became much more dangerous.

He laughed when your captors suggested that they would draw information from you to see if you were potentially of value to the First Order.

“Why would we ever do that? They have enough cheap labor from me.” He insisted, smiling behind his glass of fire wine. “No, no, I’ll be keeping this one for my personal collection. I’ll even see to her conditioning myself.”

He wished to keep you as one of his own, and you found out very quickly what he meant by “conditioning”. Mar Alem was a former pharmaceuticals manufacturer who became big in the Outer Rim’s slave trade after the fall of the Empire. He prided himself on providing some of the healthiest and most obedient workers on the market. That obedience came from his unique style of “conditioning”, which was just his fucked up way to say torture. His slaves were some of the healthiest because his methods involved very little physical punishment, he sought to break them through administering psychoactive drugs. Your sessions with Mar would begin with you being hauled out of your sleeping quarters to a separate tent. Inside there was a rusted imperial interrogation chair, one that you had only ever seen in those old holovids you watched during training. The chair was underneath two large surgical lights, which were used to blind you from your surroundings. They began each time by injecting you with different substances. Spice. Nerve-agents. Psychotropics. While under the influence, you would be asked questions or forced to recite things. The goal was to distort your reality, make you forget your own identity. If you answered incorrectly too many times, you received another dose. You didn’t respond as well as he would have liked to the sessions. After several days you were no more “broken in” than from the very beginning. Frustrated, Mar decided to intensify his approach, to take a more traditional direction. You became his little project, and after all, you weren’t for sale. The beatings never touched your face, a kindness in his eyes because were a woman and they wanted to give you a chance to “preserve your looks”. After two days, they progressed past beatings to holding your head under water. By the fifth day, they were frustrated enough to move on to electric shock. Sometime during the second week, they broke one of your arms. Fear set in and you realized that you were going to die on this fucking planet.

The pain in your arm and the lack of food made things difficult enough, but the drugs made you hallucinate and disrupted your sleep. You would have short, fitful dreams of home, of those who knew you agreeing to accept the loss and move on. When awake, all you could think about was the guilt you felt for failing the mission coupled with the infuriating fact that Poe had been right. But your captors left you with far too much time to think.

Too ashamed to let yourself die on a failed mission in some remote corner on the edge of the galaxy, you plotted your escape.

Whenever alone, you let your mind run through everything- considering the best you could every detail and noticeable rhythm. You knew by voice who kept guard outside, who dropped rations off to your tent, who escorted you to the sessions with Mar. You began to listen to different sounds outside, those of ground transport vehicles and the occasional ship overhead. It was rare, but once in a while you would hear small aircraft landing and taking off. It sounded to be just to the south of camp. It took time to see your opening, but after breaking your arm, your captors slowly grew careless. There were brief windows where you were left unsupervised. You managed to swipe a set of needles from the interrogation tent. At the end of one session you mustered your strength when Mar left you on the ground and reached up on the supplies table to grab the first thing you touched. It was a pack of hypodermic needles of different widths. The change in guards in the middle of the night became sloppy over time, leaving you an opportunity of several minutes to pick the lock and make an escape under the cover of darkness. Slipping out of your cell that night was relatively easy, even with just one functioning arm. The real trouble started once you reached the hangar and saw that the selection of ships was less than desirable. They only had two scrap ships to choose from, and neither of the poorly constructed hunks of junk looked promising.

You eventually chose the ship that vaguely resembled an old A-wing, completely unsure if it would even start.

Your captors were immediately alerted of your escape once the ship’s engine came to life. You took heavy fire as you closed the cockpit’s canopy and put the vessel into motion. The take off was far from smooth, but you managed to peel out of that hangar, only realizing once you were in the air and the adrenaline began to fade that you had been grazed by blaster fire.

Your side burned white hot as you fumbled with the ship’s controls one-handedly. The smell of your seared flesh filled the cockpit, making your stomach turn. The edges of your vision grew hazy, but you forced yourself to concentrate on navigating through the planet’s atmosphere. You could only thank the force when you discovered that there was a functioning hyper drive and just enough fuel to make the jump.

Just as you pulled into the comfort of hyperspace, you only barely succeeded in tugging the life support mask over your face before you lost consciousness.

_________

You sprung awake as the shrill alarm signaling the end of the autopilot and the ship dropping out of hyperspace blared through the cockpit. Your fuel reserves were dangerously low as you approached the outer atmosphere of D’Qar. It demanded all of your strength just to pilot the ship. The thumping pain in your head and right side dominated your thoughts when the command center’s first contact message buzzed in over your comlink.

“Unidentified aircraft, you are entering a secured zone. State your name and purpose.”

Your voice wasn’t strong enough to respond. You only managed to produce an airy moan, which was just muffled by the life support mask.

“Unidentified aircraft, I repeat, you are entering a secured zone. State your name and purpose or you risk being fired upon.”

You tried to wheeze out your call sign, but nothing comprehendible came out. You let go of the control stick just long enough to begin tapping a message in binary over the comlink, but you stopped when you noticed that they didn't hear you.

“Unidentified aircraft, you have twenty seconds to respond or your ship will be brought down.”

The warning messages continued on, unaware that you had no ability to respond. Your head bobbed around as you tried to navigate through the planet’s atmosphere. The low fuel alarm buzzed loudly as your pathetic excuse for a ship violently rattled.

You desperately tried to send out a distress signal, but your blurred view of the control panel only complicated things. Your one good arm struggled to keep control of the ship as you prepared to land. You were coming in much too fast and you knew it.

Hoping to land somewhere just behind the base’s underground hangar, you guided the ship the best you could towards a small opening in the trees. Your safest bet at that point was to graze a few smaller objects on the way down in hopes that it would break up the force of impact.

A screaming alarm alerted you of incoming laser fire.

In a last ditch effort, you felt down underneath the pilot’s seat for an ejector switch. You closed your eyes as you gave one desperate tug to the metal tab, but your heart dropped into your stomach when you remained firmly seated inside the cockpit.

Of course it’s fucking defective.

The ship went nearly sideways as the right wing took the brunt of the hit. You quickly took hold of the control stick once more. It was all you could do to keep from going into a spin as you sailed downward toward the edge of the clearing. The first tree limbs grazed by the ship hardly made much noise at all. Things moved in slow motion as you desperately tried to balance out with the horizon line, wanting nothing more than to land on the belly of the ship.

The real impact came quickly after, though. Everything began to move at a chaotic speed as a series of deafening and rapid cracks filled your ears. The scene through the glass canopy is a blur as you cut through what must have been dozens of trees. Your hand had no choice but to release the control stick.

You firmly closed your eyes as you rode out the crash. The straps of the harness were what graciously kept you from turning into a loose rock rattling around inside of a metal can.

The light began to fade. Everything went black.

________

The stillness was the first thing you noticed upon waking. The stillness was quickly followed by the painfully tight weight pressing against your chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe or move.

You struggled to open your eyes. It was impossible to know how long you had been out, but you saw that there was still daylight as you stared at the mangled trees outside. The inside of your cockpit was surprisingly intact, though the ship was tilted at a slight angle. It was far from being a textbook emergency landing, but you would gladly take being alive.

Your head throbbed as you slowly tried to take stock of your body. The only part of you that you were brave enough to try moving was your right arm.

You startled slightly at the sound of distant shouting.

People were quickly approaching the crash site. It was impossible to count how many voices, though one in particular was louder than all of the others.

You tried to make out the words, but your concentration was clouded by fear and the drilling pain in your chest and head.

The voice was maybe familiar, you realized, even if you couldn’t quite understand.

There were rushed footsteps before something knocked sharply against the body of the ship. You tried to smooth your shallow and ragged breathing as they came up along the side. Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared. Fear slows the mind and won’t let you think.

Some unintelligible command was shouted at you before a figure suddenly appeared. You immediately registered the blaster rifle they had trained in your direction.

It was unsure who recognized who first, but Poe’s figure went stiff when he realized who was stuck inside the cockpit.

You saw his lips move before he jumped into action. He left his blaster on the ground before he clambered up onto the wing of the ship. He was suddenly down on his knees working to get the hatch of the canopy open. You watched as he turned to scream over his shoulder for medtechs.

It was the first set of words that you actually understood.

Even though he was outside of the cockpit, the volume of his voice stung sharply in your ears and reverberated inside your head. You didn’t know how he managed to pop open the canopy from his side, but in the time it took for you to blink he was somehow down in the small space of the cockpit with you.

He began talking. Too much and too quickly.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Why the hell didn't you respond? They didn’t have a choice but to shoot you down!”

"Hol!"

You watched his lips move but it took you several moments to process that he was calling your name. Not your call sign, rank, or number, but your real name. For maybe the first time in your life, the sound was unfamiliar to you. It made you wonder for how long you had actually been gone.

His attention rapidly switched from his anger with you towards the gravity of your condition. The abruptness of the transition felt like having the rug pulled out from underneath your feet.

Your eyes finally managed to focus on his face. It was a surprise when you made out that he was in fact inches from you. Things were bad. That much you could see in his expression. He cursed under his breath as he looked you over, cataloging what he could of the damage.

“Fuck, baby…”

His hands began to gently check over your body, trying to get a feel for where the bleeding was coming from. All of his movements were rushed. His fingers went to press against the pulse point in your neck, but he continued to read your face as he took a moment to count the beats in his head.

“Why didn’t you just eject?” He repeated, though no longer with the same bite. His voice was strained, you realized, struggling under the weight of the worry and grief that you caused him.

“You didn’t follow a single procedure. You didn’t even-”

The lecture was suddenly abandoned as he turned awad to stand and pop his head out of the cockpit. He screamed for medtechs once more. You were someone who was very used to Poe shouting orders, but you had never quite heard him like this. There was normally a general sense of urgency in his voice, even when he was off duty, but this was so different. The intensity of the sound made your eyes screw shut.

Just as he began to stoop down back into the cockpit, he paused when your trembling hand blindly reached for him, desperate to grab a hold of anything. You needed his attention. You needed to make him understand.

“Poe…”

Your voice had no real weight or power. It was a struggle to gather the necessary air just for that one word. The oxygen flow coming from the life support system had gone thin. You knew that most of the reserves were probably lost during the crash.

His hand gripped yours as he squatted down once more in the cramped space. He must have been half-sitting on the control panel, you imagined.

“Okay, it’s okay, I’m right here-” He started to reassure you, but his brow creased in confusion when you tugged your hand free and began pointing to just below your seat.

“S’broken.” You managed to choke out through the respirator mask. The consequence of your effort was a painful cough that ripped through your chest and brought blood into your mouth. You were afraid that your voice was too faint to be decipherable. You began to worry that you would have to try and say it again, but his eyes finally followed to where your good hand was pointing.

His mouth formed a tight line as he took in the faulty dead man’s switch. Understanding finally flashed across his features. He quickly turned away to look over his shoulder at the control panel. Soft curses left him as he took note of everything: the empty fuel tank, the error message for the comlink system, the low oxygen reserves, broken ejector switch.

“Maker…”

He shook his head in disbelief as comprehension of your situation began to set in..

You began to wonder if you were imagining being there with him. Maybe you didn’t really survive that crash. Maybe this was some hallucination you were having while hovering between life and death. Tears pricked your eyes, a stinging sensation developed in the back of your throat.

“Need you to talk to me, Hol.” His voice went strangely soft as he regripped your hand, commanding your attention once more. “Can you tell me what hurts?”

You tried to say something through the mask, but it only came out as a rasp. You struggled to keep your head up. The safety harness fastened over your chest had gone crushingly tight, effectively knocking all of the air out of your lungs when you botched the landing.

Poe instantly saw the problem.

“All right, it’s okay, nevermind.” He was quick to tell you. His eyes fell to search for the release mechanism. “You know what, sunshine? New plan. You’re going to let me do all the talking while I get you out of this thing. How’s that? Just sit tight while I yap.”

You nodded your head vaguely as you began to blindly search with one trembling hand for the release button along your lap belt. The tremors made your movements clumsy and uncoordinated, your fingers failed to wrap around anything.

“Hey, hey, hey-Tarmin, stop!”

The moment Poe found himself battling against you for access to the buckle he snatched your hand. His grip was firm, causing you to regain focus.

“Stay still. Let me take care of this.”

It’s the voice he used when issuing an order, you realized. There was no anger, but the tone was stern in a way that instantly snapped through your cloud of panic and unease.

You let him place your hand down at your side. A soft click came down by your waist as the straps cutting into your chest and hips finally went slack. Your body slumped forward in the seat as Poe slipped the harness down from your shoulders. You coughed at the release of pressure, your face twisting up as you realized the restraints did a number on your ribs during the crash. Poe was there to catch your weight, letting your head settle onto his collar bone.

“Easy, I’ve got you.” He murmured. His hand braced the back of your head, fingers tangling easily into your hair. Gently as he could, he eased you back against the pilot’s seat. “Listen, can you hear that?” He continued slowly, lips brushing against your temple as he spoke. “Med crew is here now. You stay with me, okay? We’re going to get you to the medbay.”

It was true what he said, you realized. Over the sound of your ragged breathing you could hear people shouting outside. Every inhalation hurt. You recognized that he continued to talk to you, but the words stopped registering in your mind. Inhaling and exhaling demanded all of your concentration. The cockpit’s life support wasn’t giving off much air anymore.

A young med tech appeared up on the wing, dropping his large bag down just outside the cockpit with a heavy thud.

“Really need a respirator here!” Poe yelled over his shoulder.

“It’s coming, Commander. Did you get a name?” A new voice entered into the confined space with you.

“Lieutenant Hol Tarmin. One of ours. Black Squadron.” Poe fired back.

You didn’t miss the subtle message he passed along through that last piece of information. One of mine. So do your fucking job.

He was already going for the black mask around your face. You started coughing the second the device was pulled away. He grimaced when he noticed the blood coating the inside of your mouth. Panic began to creep in again as it suddenly became difficult to breathe. You sputtered slightly, your good hand nervously started to fidget, blindly reaching for anything to use as an anchor.

“Hey, I know, I know. Just need to get this off for a second.” Poe stilled you once more with a firm grip on your hand, quickly shaking his head. “Work with me, babe, c’mon.”

The medtech was now on his stomach, half hanging into the cockpit just so he could reach you. He handed over a small box with some tubes, which Poe promptly took from him. He fumbled with the respirator mask momentarily before bringing it to your face.

“It’s okay, this is going to help.” Poe assured as he was tugging the elastic around your head. You immediately noticed a difference as pure oxygen began to steadily flow through.

“Breathe as deep and slow as you can, Lieutenant. Don’t force anything if it hurts.” The medtech advised as he slowly ran a bioscanner over your body.

You winced when the blinding blue light reached your eyes. The medtech shook his head while he read over the results on his data pad. He turned to some colleague nearby and gave some orders before turning back to look at Poe. “We need to move her out of here as quickly as possible. The medbay is already on standby. This stimpack is going to keep her vitals stable enough for transport.”

You noticed a pen shaped object in his hand. He easily flicked off the cap to reveal a thick syringe needle.

Before you knew what was happening, Poe’s hand went to your shoulder, bracing you against the back of the seat.

“C’mon, Tarmin, eyes on me.” He ordered.

You obeyed the command, slowly lifting your gaze enough to meet his stare. His other hand gripped your knee. A nervous, unspoken question rose in your throat when he pushed down with his weight to hold your leg in place.

You prepared yourself for the pinch of the injection, but your body went rigid the moment a stabbing sensation tore through your thigh. Your teeth ground together as you tried to breathe through the pain. You faintly registered the medtech counting the seconds the needle was inside your muscle tissue.

“Breathe, it’s almost over.” Poe whispered, his lips briefly brushed against your clammy forehead. You realized that he must have his own personal experience with stimpacks.

After what felt like the longest ten seconds of your life, the medtech pulled the syringe away. Poe immediately released his grip. You looked down to see his hands working to massage your thigh muscle, helping the substance spread through your body quicker.

“Truck is here!” A new voice shouted from outside.

The two went back and forth about how they’re going to move you. Poe explained to the medtech that he found blaster wounds in your right side, that your arm was broken, and then something about your right leg. A vague numbness took over your body not long after. It became a little easier to focus on their words.

Poe gently took your good arm and wrapped it around his neck. “Need you to hang on to me.” He mumbled as he worked an arm around your back. “You let me do all the work, okay? Just don’t let go.”

He drew you up out of the pilot’s seat, holding you briefly against him as he maneuvered around the tight space. Your head felt like it was detached from your body and being tossed around in the sea, but you tried to focus on breathing through the dizziness.

“Good, Hol. Stay with me.” You heard him murmur as he shifted your weight.

Hands from above grabbed onto your flight suit. You were suddenly being jerked upward.

“Hey! Easy with her!” Poe barked from behind.

Light assaulted your eyes the moment you were extracted. Just as they maneuvered you down onto a gurney, you felt something split in your chest. Your body flinched as it felt like something gave way inside you. Your vision went cloudy white. The pain in your chest was sharply hot, like being stabbed with light. You couldn’t really inhale or exhale.

People were yelling. The gurney began to rapidly move. The sky passed in a blur overhead as someone shouted something about a punctured lung.

You slipped under.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron fic #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction #Hurt/comfort #original character #poe dameron x oc #poe dameron/reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x female reader #Tw blood #tw trauma #tw medical #poe dameron x f!reader

298 notes · View notes

thran-duils · 3 years

Text

Lost In Your Current (P.1)

Title: Lost In Your Current (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Tony Stark. After the snap, the team realizes that certain males were given Alpha status and certain females were assigned as Omegas, all across the galaxy, as a way to control procreation. Only Omega can give birth now. Both are marked and their DNA is tied through their marks. Tony lost Pepper and fell into depression after being rescued by Carol. Even the information that he could have happiness again could not pull him out. Until the loneliness and his new Alpha gene got to be too much. When Steve contacts him that his Omega had been found, Tony cannot resist to collect her. Words: 2,033 Warnings (for the whole fic): Dub-con, a/b/o elements, smut, forced mating

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

After he had been brought back from space and found Pepper gone, Tony had been devastated. He isolated himself despite the remaining Avengers efforts. He only let them know he was alive and was reviving himself from being starved and dehydrated in space. When he had received the intel that in the snap, males were given mates, an Alpha and Omega pairing, he had rejected the idea at first, ignoring the small A that had engrained itself on the web of his hand between his forefinger and thumb. But as time waned on, he found himself empty and even admitting that to Rhodes opened up the conversation again about finding his Omega. Rhodes was convinced Tony would find healing in that connection. Thanos had done it to set couples, control procreation. No out of wedlock. There would not be another overpopulation problem. Only Omega were able to breed now. In any corner of the galaxy, it seemed.

Somehow despite his isolation, Tony had gotten word an Omega had been captured and her imprinting mark, an outline on her gland yet to be penetrated, matched his DNA. It was not a surprise to Natasha considering his incessant need for information and adept ability to hack practically any system.

Or maybe it was because Steve had told him. That’s what Tony divulged to her upon his arrival.

“I did not tell you yet for a reason,” Natasha told him.

They were standing in the observation room. Like many Omega after the snap, she had gone into hiding as soon as the information was out, and she had noticed the mark on her neck. People were not keen on being forced into submission and this situation was no different. Quickly, a drug had been developed and distributed. Still, the Omega had stayed in hiding, still fearful they could be detected despite the suppressants.

“Yeah, I’m used to you not telling people things,” Tony told her coldly. “You learned that from Fury well enough.”

Natasha swallowed his insult, knowing he was getting himself riled up just at the sight of her. She needed to be delicate about this. She had planned on telling him and inviting him to the compound but she had wanted to give Y/N time, get her as calm as possible to meet her Alpha. Steve had ruined that. So, she had to just go ahead now that Tony was here, ready to pounce. He had held off for so long, but the loneliness and loss had gotten to him. Or the drive to find himself buried in his Omega had sunk in; hormones were a bitch.

“She’s been on the suppressants. It may take a while for her to feel her heat,” Natasha told him.

“’A while’? How long has she been off them?”

“We’ve had her in here a few days. But a week at least.”

Tony growled and turned away from her. His eyes found Y/N again on the other side of the glass, watching her meander in the room serving as her cell to keep her safe. “She’s so close! A few days at best!”

Tony could already see it, smell it. It did not matter there was a wall separating, she was coming in through the circulation. And she already smelled deserving of his veneration.

Natasha inhaled sharply and took a step towards him. Firmly, she asked, “Do you need to leave, Tony?”

“No!” he spat, shooting her a threatening glare. He was just daring her to try to force him to leave.

As if he would let his prize out of his sight. He had been lost the moment he had laid eyes on her, smelled her sweet scent of sea breeze and jasmine.

Natasha would threaten him in return. She was not afraid of him, unlike most people. She was firm when she told him, “I won’t allow you to mate an Omega without their consent. She won’t realize she’s in heat yet. You need to wait until next cycle. Even if it is your soulmate and you think it’s for the best. And by think, I use it lightly cause I can see your fingers are white with how hard you are trying to hold onto that ledge to keep a grip on control.”

Tony snorted impatiently. Next cycle? Fuck that. He had been stuck in space and been screwed over by Thanos. He lost Pepper. He deserved this. He deserved her, he deserved this new start. He had gotten himself healthy again. And why not for this?

His Alpha was rearing its head; he had his soulmate so close, and he was so convinced he could trip her into heat early.

His eyes were fixated on his mate on the other side of the glass. She was moving around unbeknownst that he could see her, that he was watching her. His cock was tight against his jeans, and he adjusted, shooting a glance at Natasha who did not miss the movement.

He paced more, keeping his eyes set on her. She licked her lips, her hands wringing together as she sat down on the bench at the window she was allowed. She would have so much to look at when she was at his house. He had moved north, bought a large house settled in the mountains. So much space for her to wander, under his direction of course. He could not risk losing her either. But he wanted her happy. Only if happy meant she was with him though. He would not settle for anything less. He would force that mating bond on her if that is what it took to ensure she would warm his bed.

Out of Tony’s sight, Natasha cocked her head towards the door and Carol followed her. They thought Tony did not even notice them leave. Not that that was unexpected considering how zoned in he was.

Outside the room, door closed behind them, Natasha told her, “I’m gonna kill Steve. She needed a week—”

“Steve is just as meat headed as Tony. As little of time I’ve known him, I’ve realized that I’m not shocked he gave him the tip. He has been pretty happy with his mate that he found. I thought someone as virtuous as Captain America would have at least given the situation a second though, but…”

“Hormones are not a joke,” Natasha murmured. She swore and said exasperated, “Tony is not going to leave that fucking room without an armed guard dragging him out.”

Carol shrugged. “Then leave him in there! Let him watch her and keep the eye out he thinks he needs to. As long as he doesn’t break the glass—"

“He’s on edge already, Carol. If he sees anyone enter that room — even IF they’re beta, which is the only people I will send in there now regardless — he could lose it. Send himself into a rut. But she needs testing still and food. She has to interact with our doctors.”

<><><>

Tony had certainly noticed them leave though. And he smirked as soon as the door closed. Idiots.

Waiting for the door to close after Carol and Natasha stepped outside the room, Tony hit his watch.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y…. Hit the ventilation. Knock them out outside the room I am in and hers.”

<><><>

Tony stepped over Natasha and Carol slumped on the ground and then over the guards in the hallway. He held up his watch to the keypad and F.R.I.D.A.Y unlocked the door, giving him access. He shivered physically smelling Y/N full on, her wafting out to him as he pushed the door open. The room was penetrated with her and it was intoxication. The alcohol had done nothing for him since he had returned, no amount of money spent, no amount of women he had taken to his bed. But he actually felt something when he stepped into the room.

She turned away from the window, eyes wide and curious. He made sure to close the door behind him, a barrier to her escaping. He had read in the information he had been given all those months ago that Omega were unruly when they were not claimed yet and the thought made him growl internally. If she tried to run from him… his Alpha was furious at the thought, ready to pin her.

The two of them stared at each other and he could hear her heart beating faster, reacting to him. Natasha was right; she was not ready quite yet but just being in his presence was having an impact. Yes, he could trip her if he got her home, immersed her in his environment. If he was all she could see.

His eyes raked over her and he said, “Well, they certainly don’t know how to dress you all here.”

She looked down at her loose gown and then flicked her gaze back up to his, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry…”

She was delectable. Submissive. She already wanted to please him, and she had not been properly introduced to him yet. Tony felt his cock hardening. If only he could take her here and now. But he needed to drive her home. He tried to fight the hormones trying to hijack his psyche.

“No, sweet one, don’t apologize. You still look lovely. You’re so fertile….. look at you. Dripping.”

<><><>

You perked up at the compliment. The multiple compliments. You were doing good. Weren’t you? On many levels. Fertile. And wet.

Wait, wait?

He came closer. Still looking entirely in the brink of losing it but he smelled good. He smelled like home.

And that instantly set you on edge, a clear thought cutting through your arousal.

No.

It was him. The Alpha you had been assigned to. And Jesus. It was Tony fucking Stark. Why else would he have this effect on you? Natasha had promised to speak to you and let you decide as you weaned off the suppressants. She had lied and now you were being thrown to the wolves. And no wonder. Tony was her friend. Why would she deny him anything?

You stood quickly and your back hit the wall. You were closing in on yourself, trying to be small. He bristled at your squirrely movement and cocked his head. He immediately placed himself between you and the door to prevent you leaving, holding up his hand. Your heart was hammering.

He was here. He was here to take you away, lock you away.

“You don’t have to be afraid…” Tony said, his voice rolling over you like a high. It was sugary, sweet. “You are safe with me, sweet one.”

Safe. Yes. He would protect you.

You shook your head, closing your eyes tight, trying to shake his influence. Safe meant under his thumb.

Tony was closing the space quickly and you cowered. He was stronger than you and would undoubtedly win a fight.

“Omega…” he said, the title falling from his lips like a song. You froze and he took a few more steps. He shivered, seeing your response. “Be good. You don’t have to be trapped in here anymore. This room is so small, confining. You can come with me… up to our cabin.” Our, the word usage was not lost on you. “There’s a lake. Space to wander. You will have freedom there. With me.”

Half of you was screaming to listen to him, go to him, obey. The other half was screaming at you to try to duck around him and find an escape to make sure you would not fully come off the suppressants and be his puppet, his breeding machine.

Tony was there, inches between you and your chest pulled towards him, wanting him to touch you. He noticed the movement, hunger swimming in his eyes, pupils blown wide.

“That’s it, Omega. Be good.”

A soft whine left your lips, embarrassingly, at the command to be good.

Yet, another thought flashed. This was not right. And your eyes hardened. His jaw clenched at the sight, and you knew you were in trouble. Before you could react, he brought his hand up, and all you felt was cold metal against your neck before you saw black.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

#tony stark x reader #dark!tony stark #dark tony stark #alpha tony stark #alpha!tony stark #dark marvel #my shit

230 notes · View notes