#spiritual fucking experiences

[chewingonsneakers]

yall it’s seeping into my dreams. last night was the second instance. first instance was a couple days after i read tsc for the first time, i had a very vivid dream where i was jean moreau but i was also in my childhood bedroom and i was curled in bed with bandages on my hands and kevin motherfucking day came in to bring me soup and put new bandages my face and calm me down cuz for some reason i got scared when he pulled bandaids out of his pocket. it was smtg straight out of a hurt/comfort fic.

and LAST NIGHT dear god i was neil josten, in the flesh, and i was walking with andrew goddamn minyard to go see aaron who for some reason was in juvie but the juvenile hall was in the middle of the woods. as we were walking through the forest i remember telling andrew something like “he hooked up with the vixens btw… not katelyn vixen tho… yet…” and he looked at me like ‘why do i care’ and i responded with something like “he hooked up with them but they refuse to keep their hands away from him, since” and he just started pulling a pocketknife out. THEN jesus holy christ T H EN when we finally got to the cabin and entered the room aaron was in it was like a bathroom and he was checking his face in the mirror for some unknown reason and i remember saying hello and then… oh lordy… andrew minyard HUGGED ME. it was like half a second long and just a goodbye so i can leave them be for a moment and obviously i am neil josten in this dream but i could fucking feel his arms, and i get it now neil. that man was sturdy. dear god. i would have stopped working had that been irl. then i left them alone to converse and i don’t remember anything after that.

#it was so cool seeing them as living breathing human beings #like holy shit #spiritual fucking experiences #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #the sunshine court #all for the game #jean moreau #neil josten #aaron minyard #twinyards #kevin day

[yuri-is-online]

Missed Connection Section of the NRC Gazette (Floyd, Leona, and Ruggie)

While cleaning the Ramshackle guest room, the prefect occasionally finds items that remind them of their guests. Sometimes that is because those items actually belong to them and need to be returned, other times it's just a happy coincidence. Either way, the item needs to be delivered, might as well invite them over again? Or just chase them down, whatever is most convenient.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, Yuu is implied to be short, based off the personal items you can find in the guest room and a line from Floyd's dormwear card, title inspired by a country song that has nothing to do with the subject of the fic. I got a request for the 300 followers event, but since it's closed and I had this kicking around for Floyd anyway I added the other two requested characters. If you liked this you can read my other fics here.

Grey Scarf

"Floyd." Azul has a boring look on his face, all grimacy and angry and not worth Floyd's attention. Unfortunately he is very close to his face making it a tad impossible to ignore. "Where is your scarf?"  

"Dunno." He says. "I ain't wearing it." 

"I can see that." Snaps Azul. "You need it for your shift, you look sloppy enough as it is.  You scarf is a part of your uniform!  How can you be so careless with it?"

Because it's ugly.  Sure, it matches his dorm uniform kind of but his socks get to be a snazzy purple with a cute octopus pattern, why'd the scarf have to be such a boring grey?  Rules are rules though, and he does need it to work so he drags himself back over to his room and starts looking around. Normally, he would just steal Jade's and wait tables until he figured it out and forced Floyd to take the kitchen off his hands, but Floyd really didn't feel like cooking today. He didn't feel like waiting tables either, but money was money and Azul paid well. Only if he could find his stupid scarf apparently which was nowhere he could see, and he was far from happy about physically looking. Jade opens the door as he's halfway through emptying his bedside drawer on top of his bed, alongside all the laundry he'd had scattered across the floor.

"Looking for your scarf?" Floyd throws a pillow at him which is quickly returned with a pointed look that dares him to escalate things further just obviously enough Floyd doesn't want to do it. Instead he falls face first into the pile of laundry and nick nacks he'd been sorting through, making Jade sigh in disappointment.

"'s not here." Floyd grunts, muffled by an ok smelling t-shirt.

"Have you tried retracing your steps?" Jade is saying it just to be annoying but it is ok advice. Floyd tries, he doesn't usually wear his dorm uniform outside of school stuff, so it would have to be somewhere on campus. He hauls himself up from the pile and shuffles past his brother, the walk out of the mirror and towards the main campus passing by in a blur. There's a vague memory of club practice, but that could have been from any day this week, and it's not like he wears it to classes. Floyd chews on his lip in annoyance, he feels like he remembers where the last place the scarf was, but his bad mood is keeping him from sorting through his memories intellectually. It also keeps him from looking where he's going, smacking him directly into a very tiny, very familiar looking person who pointedly ignores his angry snarl to shove something in his face. Something very familiar, very boring, and very clearly the only reason either of them had left their dorms this evening.

"Seriously," the little shrimp has to stand up on their tip toes to throw the scarf around his shoulders "you have got to stop leaving your things at my dorm!" He thinks they're angry. That would explain the look on their face, but it's making his heart do weird flips between his chest and his stomach that keep him from thinking straight. A smile finds its way to his face, wide and unbidden coupled with outstretched arms that can't catch them fast enough, like he's reaching through honey even though he finds his mark and tugs them thrashing into his embrace.

"Awww," the words that come out of his mouth don't really feel like his "was little shrimpy wooooried about me?" He should say thank you. That's what Mamma Leech would say, and it's not that he doesn't want to, it's just there's a weird weight to the words he can't quite figure out. Something that wants to be said, but not just yet. They deserve a better tone, a better mood.

"No!" Yuu yells, muffled by his squeeze and unaware of how struggling is only going to make his hold tighter. "You just always burst in and whine about being bored-" Floyd nuzzles his cheek against theirs, trying to ignore the pushing against his chest as he sets them down.

"It's ok little shrimpy, you don't have to be so modest. Good shrimpies get rewards, I'll make sure to bring you something after I get off work, make sure to leave the door unlocked for me~" Or maybe don't, he could find his way in anyway he's sure of that but there's something about the fantasy of them wanting to see him (it's not a fantasy, they've invited him over before he knows that they don't fear him as much as they should) after work that's going to get him through the shift. Maybe he'll ditch the scarf again and make them come running after him on purpose this time, he thinks to himself with an uncharacteristically gentle smile.

Grand Wallet

Contrary to what he would say out-loud, Leona does think that the Ramshackle Prefect is quite smart. You do not survive as a magicless student from a different reality without some flexibility and raw intelligence. The consistency with which they could pick up on things and see through concealed intentions demands respect. But, he supposes as he idly thumbs through his bill fold disappointed to find it just as thick as when he left it, they are also... he decides to go with nice. The concerned way they stare at him is nice, Leona likes positive attention. He just wishes it wasn't from the nicest person he knows, is it so wrong to wish he had some reassurance that there was someone willing to be only nice to him? There's an ugly sort of suspicion they might have refused to steal from him out of fear, he's certainly more of a threat to them than he is to Ruggie.

"Well I guess I owe you a reward huh?" They jump, not helping the accusation (unvoiced) that they're only doing this out of fear.

"No?" Yuu says, looking around them probably to make sure that bratty cat monster isn't within earshot. Leona doesn't care about rewarding Grim, this is between him and the prefect, not some gluttonous bastard who is half the reason he was expecting to be stolen from in the first place. "You- Just stop forgetting things at my place!" He smiles slightly at that choice of phrasing just as they cringe at it. It almost makes him sound like a normal guy, if a Prince was leaving things around someone's place that would invite speculation; and Leona knows better than anyone that speculation invites scandal.

"Real shame no one ever does things out of the goodness of their hearts these days." His voice drawls as embarrassment settles over their face. They look almost mouse-like, if they try to speak Leona just knows they'll squeak and they clearly know it too. "You're really twisting my arm here, pretty shameless, prefect." That does it, the deep breath they take does nothing but really accentuate the harsh contrast of the squeaking to their normal voice.

"I did not," Yuu is so mortified they can barely get the words out, if he can't be the only recipient of their kindness he will satisfy himself with batting them around in his paws until they can pull together some nerves and force him to stop "return your wallet just for a reward. It's yours it belongs to you and now it is back where it belongs. Which isn't my guest room on top of a fucking couch seriously Leona-" Mice still have claws, even if the dent they leave is just a little scratch to such a big cat, he finds himself pleased with the annoyance of Yuu finding their voice. "It was like you were practically begging to be robbed. What if one of the Leech twins found that huh? Would you be getting it back?"

"Only after I paid the finders fee." He can ignore the tickle caused by the unsavory image of an eel inviting itself into your personal space. "Which is what I am doin' now, you're demanding it remember?" He tunes his ears to their footsteps as he walks towards the cafeteria, content with how quickly they jump to follow. The typically steady beat of their heart is skipping in tune with the directions of their thoughts. Good, the mouse is smart contrary to what the trapped lion thinks, so let them; they'll realize the hold they have over him soon enough.

Empty Lunch Box

This was really starting to annoy you, but no matter how much you turned the whole thing over in your mind you couldn't figure out why. You had been tempted to try and ask someone about it, but you could already tell what the general reaction to the situation would be.

The "situation" being that simply put, Ruggie liked to hang out in your guest room. That wasn't the issue. You liked having Ruggie over, it's actually really nice. Sometimes he brings small projects from some odd job or another and you'll work on them together while having a chat. He likes to ask you things about your world, it started as just small talk about the sort of jobs you'd had in your world but evolved into much more meaningful talks about your hobbies and the family you missed. You had even had a lengthy conversation about death and the difference between cultural beliefs about where you go after you die. Yes it was very nice and domestic even but then you made the mistake of trying to be nice.

Ruggie liked to bring a lunchbox with him when he visited. Sometimes it had food in it, and while he hadn't shared it with you at first, but then you started talking about your families and he had slightly warmed up to the idea of sharing snacks. You hadn't taken anything from him until he explicitly offered, and when he forgot the now empty lunch box you had pulled some of your personal savings to get him something from the Mystery Shop. It was supposed to be a cute surprise for him to find when you returned the lunch box, and it worked. Granted you had intended for him to find it after he got back to his dorm, but he had sniffed it out as soon as you handed it over. His reaction was cute, he was cute, it was almost like he thought he was dreaming with just how excited he had been to receive some packaged pastries. When he came over later in the week and left the lunchbox again you had done the same thing. Fair is fair, he gets you jobs and shares his food and you give a little food back in return. Lately though something has been different. Ruggie has still been coming to hang out, he still brings work, you still talk, and he still leaves that damn lunch box. But he hasn't been sharing anything, meaningful; personal information or foodwise.

Maybe it was the death conversation. If you had revealed you were an orphan and that you never knew your mom to someone you had a crush on (not that Ruggie like likes you no matter how much you might might want that) you would be pumping the breaks too. But it still kind of hurt, it felt like a rejection of something that you knew hadn't existed in the first place.

"Y'know you don't have to give me stuff." Ruggie had come over today too, with shitty plastic garbage that needed packed into boxes. He's either read your mind or noticed you brought the remainder of the packaged goods out to snack on while you work. You try to asses him from behind your pile of card stock, he's overly focused on his task. Reflective maybe? He is almost pouting.

"I wanted to." You decide to stick with honesty, sure Ruggie might be sneaky but he deserves that much, doesn't he? "You share with me, I share with you. Fair's fair, right?"

"Right." Ruggie says, audibly disappointed to your confusion. You have never seen him so... gloomy over the concept of someone owing him a favor. Especially one paid back in food. "You do that for everybody, yeah?"

"Yeah?" You say, pausing in your work for just a second to try and collect yourself. Up until a few seconds ago you had been under the impression that had been one of your better qualities.

"So like," he isn't looking at you and his ears are saggy, tugging at your heartstrings painfully though just a tiny part of you is starting to hope- "if Leona left no that doesn't make sense. If Jack left his lunch box here and it was empty would you buy him a snack?" You think for a second.

"Did he share his lunch with me?"

"Yes." Ruggie's looking at you again, like he has a bone to pick.

"Maybe." You don't really have to think about the answer, as much as you like returning the favor Jack would probably just be happy to find his lost item and leave it at that. "If we were hanging out and he wanted something from a vending machine I'd spot him."

"But you wouldn't go out of your way to get him something?" Ruggie's stopped working now, he's really staring at you almost like he is trying to sus you out as if he hasn't been friends with you for a while now. As if he doesn't know more of your secrets than anyone else.

"I-" for some reason what you want to say gets stuck on your throat, maybe it's because Ruggie leans across the couch to get a bit closer to your face. Maybe it's because you are suddenly a lot more aware of what your little actions might have meant to him as your previous conversations play over in your mind "no. You're the only person I've really gone out of my way to get food for. Well except for maybe Grim but he doesn't really count..." You both let out sharp breaths, your eyes fall down to your work, hands going back to the task out of habit and desire to distract yourself.

shishishishi

Ruggie is silent and back in his perch across from you once your head snaps up to look at him. His small grin is intoxicating, his tail is swishing in pride like he's just won a great victory in some war you had no idea he was fighting. It is a smug look, too smug for someone who just put you through a few days of mental torture.

Maybe you'll make him some food next time, you'll see who is smug after that.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #floyd leech x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #when i realized leona leaves his whole ass wallet at your guest room i screamed #the soul of ruggie bucchi became my stand #and we had a spiritual experience with the amount of horror we felt at the idea of a fucking PRINCE LEAVING HIS GODDAMN WALLET #WAS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THAT LEONA? EVER THINK OF THAT #FORGET THE CASH AND CARDS YOUR FUCKING LICENSE??? LEONA???

[raytorosaurus]

it aaalllllll started to make sense. now i know why we're here.

#my man is having a spiritual experience in there #he's such a DORK <333333 #^what anon was just talking about btw akandjsja #another favourite moment is just after when ray is trying to show off by playing and talking at the same time #and has a 'what? like it's hard?' moment and then IMMEDIATELY fucks up the next chord 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 i need him #ray toro #gerard way #in the studio 2002 #video #**

[anuspastor]

doodles for @neuroticreno bc he stayed up w me while i was sick last night :)))

#valencock #bad hat boyfriends #nick valentine #john hancock #fallout 4 #fo4 #AWGJALKWGAGWLJKGA SEX #gaysex even... #watching hotel transylvania w boss is actually such a spiritual experience #hope ya like em boss thank u <33 #SHIT FORGOT TO MIRROR THE SECOND IMAGE BC OF NICK'S HAND FUCK #uhhh imagine it's made of metal

[ef-1]

the slow arc of daniel/george is literally unmatched, enigmatic, insane, mysterious, esoteric, fascinating, baffling, confounding, confusing, headscratching, addictive I am GRIPPED BY THE THROAT

#this is the year of danorge #what the FUCK IS THIS #they confuse me. this is a spiritual experience #what do they have in common. why do they ride so hard for eachother #how does daniel get along so well with max and george #WHAT DO THEY TALK ABOUT #IM SO FUCKING OBSESSED #ALSO NOT A SINGLE REAL BITCH AMONGST ANY OF YOY #BC HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME???? #f1 #daniel ricciardo #george russell

[solradguy]

I need to get a degree in particle physics so I can explain the quantum mechanics of drawing/posting pictures of Sol Badguy while being a Sol Badguy kinnie in the same convoluted brain-hurting way this magic book I've been reading explains that magic works because something something subatomic particles manipulating reality

👆alterhumanity

#textpost #I don't believe in magic even slightly it's just interesting/funny to read about #I've got a lot of grimoires and various magic guidebooks lol #It's agonizing that so much literature on alterhumanity/otherkinity/etc is spiritual or religious based #There're no ghosts or magic here my brain's just fucked #(not that it's bad to explain an experience with magic or with religion. it's just not an explanation that works for me personally)

[karamazovanon]

Do you have any thoughts about Alyosha's momentary crisis of faith? Because I understood why he had one, but not so much why he was immediately ready to drink and go see Grushenka. Interested to see if you've any opinions on the matter, either regarding Grushenka or just in general.

OOOOOO this is an interesting question and my answer is going to get kinda long, warning you now LOL

i think alcohol & drinking in general is often a big part of "the karamazovian nature"—fyodor pavlovich and mitya are open alcoholics & hedonists, and ivan's heavily implied to be an alcoholic as well by his delirium tremens at the end—and more generally as one of the wordly temptations that human nature as a whole is susceptible to (tangent, but this is also really interesting when you keep in mind ivan's cup analogy!! drinking & cups are tied to living & life so often; mitya chooses to "fill" his cup/life with alcohol, ivan drinks in secret until he throws the cup/life to the ground at 30 in rebellion, and alyosha instead chooses to fill his cup/life with god. one of the schiller verses mitya quotes in the ardent confession chapter even says "To the soul of God’s creation / Joy eternal brings her draught, / In strong secret fermentation / Flames the cup of life aloft")

and the common denominator is that they don't believe enough to overcome the natural urge to indulge. mitya does believe, but he can't stop himself and reproaches himself for it; ivan doesn't believe despite wanting to and that contributes too imo. but alyosha doesn't drink and is an ascetic for the most part bc everything for him is based off of his unwavering faith—and so when his entire worldview and moral system is shaken by both ivan and father zosima, he questions EVERYTHING and begins feeling detached from reality when it doesn't match up. without his bulletproof faith intact, he no longer has the external ruleset to dictate his behavior, and the karamazovian desire to ease pain with alcohol wins for a moment without being able to trust his prior moral compass

(on rereading for this post, i don't have a formulated thought on it but it's interesting that he agrees to rakitin's initial offer of vodka even though they end up having champagne instead—there's probably some connection there between vodka and worldly/russian baseness vs champagne, which while not communion wine is still wine LMAO)

this quote from the onion chapter is what stands out the most to me, bold mine:

"Alyosha cried out with a wail in his voice. ‘I speak to you not as a judge, but as the least of the judged. What am I before her? I came here in order to be destroyed, saying: “Go on, go on!” – and that was because of my cowardice, while she, after five years of suffering, no sooner did someone come and say a sincere word to her, forgave everything, forgot everything and cried! The assailant of her honour has returned, is summoning her, and yet she forgives him everything and hurries to him in joy and she will not take the knife, she will not take it! Oh, I am not like that! I do not know whether you are like that, Misha, but I am not like that! Today, the moment I received this lesson, I … She loves in a way that is loftier than yours or mine … Have you heard her say this earlier, what she said just now? No, you have not; if you had, you would have understood everything long ago … And let the other woman, whom she offended the other day, let her, too, forgive her! And she will forgive her, if she learns of this … and she shall learn of it … This soul has not yet been reconciled, we must spare it … This soul may contain a treasure …" (tr. mcduff)

when he loses his infallible external/divine guidance, he has to turn inward/to the world around him instead, where he finds guilt and the human urge to self-destroy (as well as the influence of rakitin & his schadenfreude) and as a karamazov, it naturally comes first in the form of alcohol (women, too, but alyosha never really shows any desire on that front) when he sees grushenka's kindness and forgiveness, he snaps out of it and his faith is reinforced (while he believes he's a sinner and unworthy, he sees in her christlike forgiveness and is reminded that although he has these karamazovian urges, giving in to them entirely isn't the answer etc etc im not a theologian and have been writing too long anyway)

this has been such a long ramble with so little structure but this is SUCH an interesting plot point, thank you for asking my thoughts on it!! :D

#lmk what yall think!!! i only skimmed so its not impossible for me to be misremembering or misinterpreting something LOL #his Temptation is so so interesting #i think its bc seeing his doubt result in even stronger faith is so opposite to my personal experience that it FASCINATES me in literature #anonasks #the brothers karamazov #also i originally wrote “the karamazovian need to get white girl wasted” but decided to be serious for once instead #Also the fucking whiplash from the last ask to this one icb. #to me its like. he loses the spiritual morality so all he has left is to turn to the worldly morality and everyone around him drinks and #is a bad influence lol #and changing your faith is a HUGE paradigm shift too bc its a TON of beliefs rolled into one #for the devout like alyosha its the basis of EVERYTHING. your epistemology morality your perception of reality and people etc #so once the first domino falls you get a novice drinking champagne LMAO #i hope this was clear!! i keep ruminating and adding thoughts but i feel like my attempts to articulate them just make it more confusing LO #anonpost

[toshidou]

just returned from the hozier concert and i am a new woman

#☁︎⋅chats #fr #that was the closest to a spiritual experience i'll ever get #i'm in shock #he straight up just #tore my heart out in the most gentle and caring way #he owns that now #gonna let him carry my still beating heart around in his pocket #he earned it #FUCK #gonna go lie in bed and pray i can somehow live in a world where every day is a hozier concert

[spotsupstuff]

Anon from the karma flower ask here, just gotta say i have no regrets, hows sparrows recovery going?

according to doctor (Euros) she'll be just fine after grounding herself a lil. nothing bad essentially happened, she just wasn't ready for all those feelings

#Spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #to try n explain a bit: i mentioned it in an answer to alter from yesterday but basically the physical world is a muffler. absorber. #what the karma flower does is basically like. boosts the meditation effect. assists in the subtle bodies departing from the physical body #and since the physical body becomes eliminated from the equation everything will hit stronger and More. sparrows dad is a sore- #-subject for her normally already n getting any kind of input about him while in this Seeing projection state just fucking. rowed her over #shes ultimately okay. maybe even better off. just had to confront the feelings head on without anything to make it lighter or to hide behin #lookin at moons explanation of it fuckin... 'imagined worlds'... Bitch What If Its Real Tho. i like to think that moon is kind of- #-skeptical of the spiritual. the iterators cant experience the effect for themselves ofc so shes 🤨 but nah we already have folk gods in- #-here so the karma flower allowing the user to really See other planes? aiya true dat up in this bitch yeehaw #'have no regrets' tho you ASSHOLE /lh GLSKDCLSKDMLCK

[shiftperception]

I was watching someone cover the MiA manga who mentioned Bondrewd’s weapon, sparagmos, being an ancient greek term. For ritual sacrifice via dismemberment.

It’s foreshadowing.

#made in abyss #oh so the exact thing he does to get his curse repellent #so fucked and fascinating how his experiments double as sacrifices. his lab is even built on a ritual site #really plays into the paradox of him. seeing them as test subjects=clinical indifference. but a sacrifice can imply #something emotionally or even spiritually significant. he’s also his own white whistle and a bit spiritually dismembered himself #in terms of his consciousness be shared/split(?) among the umbra hands #DAMN i hate his organ harvesting ass he’s a literary analysis dream

[vilsoo]

#lana is so real for this #did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd #i cant wait for this album on march 10th omg #streaming the fuck outta this song #i was not the same person i was before this god sent song #don’t forget me 💔 #lana del rey #hearing this for the first time is a spiritual experience #lana my mother

[wittyworm]

oh god, learning about the origins of tobacco, or tabako, and the spirit that is being used and abused in these massive tobacco companies is actually breaking my heart.... my taino great grandmother died from a lung disease because of years of habitual tobacco smoking........ god i wish i could talk to her now

#shes communicated with us for many years #her energy is so fucking strong but now i feel it stronger than ever im so glad i have avoided smoking tobacco all of these years #im sure it would harm me greatly #much like when i took birth control #im sure i would experience endless spiritual horror #god that was a nightmare #again i implore anyone to do research into the history of birth control and the sterilization of puerto rican women #my ancestors were NOT happy about that one 🧍‍♂️ #period for 3 months straight .weak muscles. indescribable spiritual paranoia. anemia. weight loss. seeing ghosts and seeing things move. #i didnt know where to turn i was terrified so i started wearing a Rosario

[obituarybug]

Everytime I play Disco Elysium the ghost of Harry Du Bois takes over my body like I'm nothing more than a mere vessel and uses it to harass working class women, dig through trashcans and continuously spout his undying love for Lt. Kim Kitsuragi

#When I play in VC I have to remind my friends that Harry is speaking using my body #I simply become Detective Harry Du Bois #We are one and the same #This is the true video gaming experience #Dare I say I am the only one who plays the game as intended (fucking insane) #Like I got to the ship yard WAY earlier than intended by ignoring Measurehead and getting distracted looking for drugs by a jacket 😭 #ALSO NO SPOILERS PLEASE #I AM NOT DONE WITH THE GAME #Harry only takes over my body at opportune moments so progress is slow going #The best games involve spiritual possessions #Disco Elysium #Harry Du Bois #It's not an ObituaryBug post if the tags aren't 2x longer than the actual post

[constantly-deactivated]

This is what happens when you mix mercury with aluminium.👇

Both extremely toxic when injected, and both used as adjuvants in vaccines. Obviously they don't react this way when in the vial, but what happens when inside the tissues and bloodstream?🤔

#pay attention #educate yourself #educate yourselves #wake the fuck up #wake up #wake up america #wake up people #wake up world #do your own research #do your research #do some research #do your homework #did you know #spiritual knowledge #knowledge is power #medical experiments #medical history #medical tyranny #medical corruption #vaccines #mercury #aluminum #toxic chemicals #chemical reactions

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Man those people on your ‘why are you straight edge’ poll are really showing their disdain for people who engage with any sort of drug… if I may add, I voted for having a medical restriction (my liver is failing thank youuuu immune system) AND I also take prescription opiate medication to help with pain. Every time I take my painkillers on days where I’m not working so that I can enjoy my hobbies I have complicated feelings about it because anti opiate rhetoric is just EVERYWHERE and it’s like… I just want to have a nice day. Getting over the ‘oh but it can be ADDICTIVE’ stigma is so important and it’s really not different just because I have a prescription. People who are so nasty about drug use for recreation are so stressful to me.

Ikr it's like people have such disdain for addicts, and drug users in general. I get upset about this because while I personally am a very casual user and I spend most of the time sober and am self assured so I can walk people being dicks about it off, but I know addicts and their lives are hard enough without all the stigma piled on top of it. I just wish everyone could be addiction neutral and pro harm reduction but they're so moralistic about it. I wasnt the politest I could have been about people not drinking and having sex because I was trying to keep it light and I know people take things like this really serious and it kinda backfired.

But like I totally know what you mean about the opioid thing. I really think that our society could benefit from being a little more addiction neutral, because yeah sometimes substance dependency does ruin your life, but I'm neurodivergent and I've met people where I think that doing life with drugs is better for them. Like you raise a great point about opioids. They're dangerous and addictive but if you're in pain because of a disability you need pain management. It's not really an option if you want to lead a normal life. There's a lot of heroin addicts who got that way because they needed pain management and their doctors refused them on the basis that they might become addicted, but taking a daily pill to improve your life, while it may be illegal depending on the substance, isn't bad. I bring up my own neurodivergence because I've heard of the same thing with ADHD and stimulants. Most people who have an ADHD diagnosis can get an Adderall prescription, but undiagnosed people and people falling through insurance cracks will sometimes turn to the street version. And it's like those people, both the ones with a script and the ones who are self medicating, should not be forced to live a substandard life because of someone else imagines there's some purity to a life without drugs. The goal should be to get those people the drugs they need in the safest way possible.

And I come down really easy, to the point where I forget to take prescription meds and don't experience any ill effects, but I have a friend who experiences a come down from their adhd meds thats not unlike the comedown ive seen from my other friend who's a meth user, and this friend with the ADHD meds can't function without them. But when the doctor and the pharmacist get them their meds on time they live a perfectly happy fulfilling life. That's what I mean when I say I'm addiction neutral. Most people who get addicted didn't just pick up heroin or whatever one day for shits and giggles. When I fuck around with "highly addictive" substances I make sure I'm in a good place and it's not a problem to drop them. People who develop problems are usually either they're escaping from something or self medicating. The goal for society can't be to never do drugs we've had drugs literally for longer than we've been humans.

I've heard second hand of a study which I haven't gone looking for, I might, because as you can tell this is a bit of a soap box for me, where they gave Heroin addicts a prescribed dose of heroin like you would pick up Percocet for chronic pain at a pharmacy, and because those addicts weren't shooting up mystery amounts and worrying where they were going to get their next hit from so they didn't start rattling and all the other things that make addicts lives hell, they were able to start doing things like holding down jobs. That study should have been a game changer. I want addicts to be able to live, and selfishly I want to be able to go to the drug store when I'm bored and say "one mdma high no fentanyl please" and leave with something to spice up the afternoon. That's like, not a moral failing on my part even though I'm not self medicating I'm just having fun.

The way the war on drugs has ruined drugs, which like, genuinely drugs are sort of magical when you think about it. Not just the fun ones either. Like when I was a baby I had a really bad bladder infection that absolutely would have killed me if I had had that same situation just like 100 years ago, but my mom was able to force a pill down my throat and it went away. Since then I've probably had at least a dozen little things like that that would have killed me dead if someone hadn't invented a chemical that could interact with my body and make it genuinely not a problem. and the fact that we have that for things like chronic pain and we're too afraid to use it because of stigma is so insane. Like god forbid people get high.

#drug posting. #my soap box #im sorry you activated my trap card anon #this isnt even getting into how hallucinogens can be a genuinely spiritual experience. #not everyone can do them obviously ive had some people on that poll who said their doc told them not to smoke weed due to a family history. #...of schizophrenia and that totally makes sense brains are weird and you wouldn't want to fuck up the chemical balance if its precarious #but also I can do them and i really really like them #i talked to Yuggsothoth and i want to do it again some day #i think thats beautiful #like people have used hallucinogens in Religious ceremonies for centuries and i understand why #what is the reason to take that away? other than bigotry?

[nullcoast]

Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.

We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.

#essentially #get class conscious #explore spirituality #and understand that a human being is an astounding phenomenon and every single one is amazing and terrifying #and is worth the effort of understanding #and accepting #ok yeah I had 6 shots at 3pm whatever #but fr the time someone cut me off bc I said I don't care about hehim lesbians #like in real life #crazy shit (they later apologized which was sick as fuck of them) #just the fact it spills out beyond the internet is horrible and the internet isn't great itself #bc it could otherwise be utilized as an extremley effective tool for praxis #were it not for infighting #like. i know a lot of white queers who avoid 'straight' seeming poc or jocks or whatever the fuck #idk I understand anxiety fully #but if u continue to stay within a social comfort zone #you will never see the beauty of expression possible within humanity #and placing more value on queer white friends than a straigh black friend..... not great. it's not great. #implicitly aligning with your anxiety or discomfort over how another person operates #not great #I've seen queer white ppl treat homeless ppl like SHIT bc ' my anxiety!!' #its fucked up #and it makes me understand why certain demographics see queerness as a rich white phenomoneon (it's not but it makes me understand how ppl #can accept such a ridiculous narrative) #bc white queers such as myself only experiment with radical thought and action within the comfort of whiteness #anything outside that it's the same old white attitude towards others #idk like. what do u do when u meet a homeless guy who is antivax and scizo #do u jsut write him off as a loony conservative? anti lgbt? what do u do? #I've seen this contradiction arise and I'm #just deeply ashamed of how my community is prone to reacting