#get class conscious

[nullcoast]

Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.

We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.

#essentially #get class conscious #explore spirituality #and understand that a human being is an astounding phenomenon and every single one is amazing and terrifying #and is worth the effort of understanding #and accepting #ok yeah I had 6 shots at 3pm whatever #but fr the time someone cut me off bc I said I don't care about hehim lesbians #like in real life #crazy shit (they later apologized which was sick as fuck of them) #just the fact it spills out beyond the internet is horrible and the internet isn't great itself #bc it could otherwise be utilized as an extremley effective tool for praxis #were it not for infighting #like. i know a lot of white queers who avoid 'straight' seeming poc or jocks or whatever the fuck #idk I understand anxiety fully #but if u continue to stay within a social comfort zone #you will never see the beauty of expression possible within humanity #and placing more value on queer white friends than a straigh black friend..... not great. it's not great. #implicitly aligning with your anxiety or discomfort over how another person operates #not great #I've seen queer white ppl treat homeless ppl like SHIT bc ' my anxiety!!' #its fucked up #and it makes me understand why certain demographics see queerness as a rich white phenomoneon (it's not but it makes me understand how ppl #can accept such a ridiculous narrative) #bc white queers such as myself only experiment with radical thought and action within the comfort of whiteness #anything outside that it's the same old white attitude towards others #idk like. what do u do when u meet a homeless guy who is antivax and scizo #do u jsut write him off as a loony conservative? anti lgbt? what do u do? #I've seen this contradiction arise and I'm #just deeply ashamed of how my community is prone to reacting

[lazycranberrydoodles]

COME ON GUYS DON'T LET DIANXIA DOWN

#images i drew on my phone approximately 90 seconds before class started #tma vs tgcf is pitting two bad bitches against each other but #from the other guys propaganda he is apparently a beloved side character #which i totally understand. #BUT HUA CHENG IS THE DEUTERANTAGONIST WHO LOVED XIE LIAN SO MUCH IT UNDOOMED HIM FROM THE NARRATIVE #HE DIDNT CLAW HIS WAY OUT OF TONGLU TO BE BEATEN LIKE THIS #also tma has gay people that dont undoom each other from the narrative. L + ratio (/j/j/j/j we all love tragedies here) #hua cheng will never rest in peace and he doesn't want to because he has a smokin boyfriend #they are both angry goths but has gerry died THREE TIMES????? no. just once. lame. #gerry got his skin bound into a necromancy book that was eventually burned but hua cheng ripped out his eye to craft a sickass scimitar !!! #hua cheng haunts the narrative before he dies in a hundred tiny ways and then HEAVILY after he dies a second time #he's an awesome city owner and has violent beef with HEAVEN. and he carves statues and paints and builds temples #and is also a self conscious loser <3 #his gay awakening was intensely traumatic and religious for everybody involved. and he's had the same life mission since he was 10 #he is actively fighting ghost discrimination and getting dangerous magical items off of the normal human market #also he is always bedecked in elaborate silver and chains and eyeliner and ALWAYS in blood red clothes #HE CAN MAKE IT RAIN BLOOD!!???!?!? ALSO #he stick and poked his god's name on himself but his handwriting is so bad it's unrecognizable and the signs he puts up have evil auras #this has ceased to be propaganda. now im just gushing. only tgcf fans will see this anyway. whatever youre getting blorbo rant #tgcf #art #poll #hua cheng #lmao #my art #tian guan ci fu #hualian #xie lian #hob #heaven official's blessing

[elysianymph]

big hater of the "james repeatedly asked lily out in ridiculous ways even though she kept rejecting him" headcanon BUT i think the idea of james unconventionally 'courting' lily after they both admitted to their feelings is very cute and should be used more

#he definitely wrote really bad poetry and charmed birds to sing it while lily walked through the halls #and they'd meet late at night in the common room when everyone was asleep #and lily would be all like 'james stooop you're embarrassing me' but her smile gave away to the fact that she enjoyed it #just james knowing lily is self-conscious and thinks she doesn't fit with james or that she's not worthy of him #and james making sure she knows he loves with big and small gestures #he carries her books to class #he waits for her to get ready every morning so he can walk her to the great hall #he sends her congratulations notes and flowers after she does aces an exam #he loves her so much :(( #james potter #lily evans #jily

[transvaltrans]

Looking back on the books I read this year, and was reminded of just how much Megan Whalen Turner's The Thief- absolutely frustrated and disappointed me. Spoilers ahead.

To some degree, this was going to happen; the whole series has been heavily hyped up to me, it's hard for any book to live up to such lavish yet vague praise. But, you know, I actually got through most of the book without being distracted by my own expectations. It was tense, and spare- it felt like every word mattered and hinted at an underlying truth. I love when books withhold from the reader, and nudge at you to consider what might be left unsaid. And I was so, so satisfied when my predictions paid off (totally called Gen palming the stone rather than losing it).

The worldbuilding was interesting and unique, I enjoyed that the author wasn't committed to a super specific and our-world-accurate timeframe for technology, and I found the characters compelling and variable. I always enjoy travel stories, nevermind stories about thieves.

Which is exactly why I was so annoyed by the ending.

Again: I love twists. I love being able to predict them, and I love being surprised. I did not feel like any of the twists in The Thief were unearned; it's a well-composed book, with plenty of foreshadowing.

However, one of the twists, despite being foreshadowed, absolutely blindsided me- because I would not have considered it as a possibility, due to undermining exactly what had me so excited to read The Thief in the first place. Fantasy literature sometimes shies away from politics, into pure escapism and fluff. Even some of my favorite fantasy books are pretty hollow when it comes to their fundamental beliefs, and shy away from challenging the status quo- unless it's to restore old glory (cough The Old Kingdom series).

But I can almost always count on stories about rogues, and thieves, and con artists, to at least bring up the issue of class. These characters so often come from disenfranchised backgrounds, from the poor and displaced. They're street rats and gutter scum, who have clawed their way up from the bottom, and never forget where they came from- can never forget, from the way others treat them. Theft is subversive; there's a reason we won't let go of Robin Hood, but even more self-motivated thieves often have something to say about the unfairness of wealth distribution. Stories about thieves almost always have something to say about the relationship between the wealthy and the poor.

So, yeah, I was really fucking annoyed at the reveal that Eugenides was actually the Queen's cousin. That pretending to be from a lower class background was so insufferable to him; that of course he's only so educated and knowledgeable because he's a noblemen, that it was so hard for him to pretend to be stupid and crass like a peasant. That the reason he was so pissed about being disrespected by his captors wasn't because they beat him and imprisoned him and insulted him constantly, that they treated him as less than human because he was poor and a criminal, a tool for their own use and disposal- but because he was one of them, and it injured his pride- his noble pride, not his human pride- to be treated like that. Like he wasn't one of them, and deserving of their respect.

Fuck, I hate it so much. It immediately took away my favorite parts of the book- the tension between Gen and the magus's companions, the weight of the magus having been a commoner once, the way Gen constantly stuck by himself and refused to just accept his shitty treatment- the way every monarch treated him as a means to an end. I thought there would be more tension in Gen having conflicted feelings of resentment and camraderie with the magus- I thought it would pay off with either some of them acting in his interest for once, and/or some of them rejecting their freindship and leaning back into that class difference between them.

I'm not opposed to Gen having been working for the mountain kingdom the whole time! But there are so many other ways to do that- I was suspecting that someone was holding his family hostage in some way. It's easy to imagine a story where Gen is a lower-class thief, who was also being used by his own country's royalty.

But, making Eugenides a nobleman is a subversion of the classic trope- which means it's clever and interesting. Uugh. It just exhausted me, and- disappointed me. I loved so much of this book, and it had been a while since I'd read a good low-fantasy story about thieves. It was suspenseful, with rich descriptions, and interesting character dynamics. I thought I was getting something like Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge, or The Goblin Wood by Hillary Bell- not necessarily stories about thieves, but stories about the underestimated and undervalued, peasant con artists and hedgewitches. But with more of the tension and bite of your average dnd rogue getting up to stupid shit (my go-to class since I was a kid).

I totally understand why people love this book. There is a lot I really admire within it. But man, I don't think I can get over how much that final twist- not just rejected my original interpretation of the story. That's fine, plenty of good science fiction or horror does that. But that it specifically rejects the character and story type of the lower class thief. The very name of the series, The Queen's Thief, had me expecting a story about that seeming contradiction; about the power imbalance, and a constant game of cunning, of maintaining autonomy despite being bound to a royal power. And I expect there will be some of that, in the later books; it just loses a lot of its appeal, when it turns out Gen himself is a nobleman, who was doing a favor for his cousin, the queen.

I liked that the book ended with more insight into the mountainous kingdom, and Gen's feeling of belonging and pride to a cultural group everyone else had been deriding- but that didn't have to be accomplished by him being related to the nobility of that country. None of this had to be accomplished through Gen being a nobleman; it just felt like a 'gotcha' subversion, taking away, rather than adding more.

#I emerge from the mists a hater sdfghjdf #god I wanted to love this book. and I did- up until the very end. #also gotta be clear: I was not expecting The Most Class Conscious Themes- just the basic ones all thief stories dip their toes into #anyways I read this several months ago ergo me not naming the various kingdoms. because I'm lazy and just needed to get this out of me #going to main tag it because- I'm curious if anyone else felt the same way! I've seen so much love for this series on tumblr #and again: totally get why! It's well written! it's fun and compelling and tense! #but boy it was a let down for me personally #the thief #the queen's thief

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[wanderingmind867]

My social skills class ends next week. I don't know how many times I can do it again now, but let's not think about that for now. Instead, let's just focus on how I think it has improved my social skills a bit. I mean, I still have no irl friends besides my dad, but I am still only 19. I guess that's something to try and be hopeful about? Anyways, I just wanted to vent about this, I guess. I swear I had something more to say, but it is eluding me now.

Oh, yeah, now I remember. I use my camera, but I never show my whole face. I'm still self conscious about how I look. Idk why. I'm just going to guess a lot of people don't like how they look, but can't really tell you why. Maybe there's a psychological thing to it? I feel like there could be. Maybe I should look into it. But really, I prefer to just not think of how I look. It's easier that way for me most of the time, honestly.

#I think the class has helped me a bit at least #and I just like the routine #In a world with so little of that #you get it where you can #autism #asd #neurodivergent #adhd #school #social skills #shy #lonely #vent #self conscious #You think there's something psychological there? #I'm betting there probably is #but i don't know #autistic #audhd

[ilynpilled]

I really love your latest Jaime posts honestly they make Tumblr a more freeing place. The time of making apologies and disclaimers is over 2024 will be the year of backing our problematic faves into hell knowing its been 10 years and we're all aware of that shit we're just here to have fun

i do think he becomes #terrible post aerys but im just gonna repeat myself here and say that i love how the build up and backstory is written and how the moral and ethical dilemmas are actually interrogated and how this feudal society is not at all ready for the precedent set by an elite guard actually killing his own king to prioritize the king’s subjects (in any form). like vows, the honor system, and the kg as an institution and its codes of conduct exist to reinforce class stratification and when put under scrutiny it falls apart as a result and is not a sensible moral construct at all and westeros is not ready to confront this obv. idek if im defending this man as much as i am defending the writing since i am not justifying his conclusion/reaction, i just think it is well contextualized. also when it comes to jaime initially and his own values vs code of ethics or conduct and laws is that giving your word and honesty and conviction is a core component of love, knighthood, and honor, all things that he values at the beginning as an idealistic person, especially in the abstract sense. and the thing is that these promises will come into conflict by virtue of what they are. and they do early on since he swears to always love cersei too, and that is a value and relationship that he is gonna be committed to as a result. he is less focused on rules and codes of conduct when it comes to vows and more on personal values that end up being confronted with contradictions and/or systemic flaws that he is not brave enough to properly confront, stand up in the face of, and triumph over, so he gives into a form of cynical and selfish amorality. until he finally doesnt

#ask #and jaime obv is not criticizing it from a class conscious lens he just realizes the contradictions #and its relevance to his specific values of heroism and dreams of knighthood #but the reader obv can #especially when jaime highlights that nobody cared about who killed rossart bc he was a lowborn nobody #and ‘how much can a crown be worth’ #like it ties into the series’ other themes #but george does value emotion over the politics like he is more interested in how this affects the characters #i am kinda turning into his lawyer tho recently and it is getting obnoxious #ill get back to shitposting

[benadril]

Ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted to go home and be on my phone

#my final class lasts 3 hours today im so sick of it get me OUT #ben's conscious stream #ben highschool hours

[fingertipsmp3]

No one:

Me at 12:30am on a Tuesday: I’m going to relearn French, teach myself to draw and teach myself to sing. And read classics

#i say RElearn french because i used to speak french pretty well #i was the person everyone came to for answers in french class and i had a penpal i only communicated with in french #it has deserted me because i haven’t practiced since i was 16 #i’m really tempted to try to learn it again #the only thing that holds me back is the accent is so hard to get right and it’s so unfun to speak because of that #the french people i’ve met have NOT cared at all if your accent is off but i still feel self conscious #oh and the classics i want to read are the iliad; the odyssey and lives of the caesars #it’s time i learn the canon. let’s be honest #personal

[spatio-rift]

2 more days of internship and its finally overrrrrr i miss my friends

#dont get me wrong i LOOOVED IT but like being alone all the time is tiring like Mentally #also i didnt really Do Much in terms of like Manning the Class (i dont know how to say this in english LOL) but i did see a LOT #of like all the other little jobs teachers have at the school and just life at the school #which i dont think the other groups did a lot of or at least certainly not the other group that was at my school #cuz their tutor is disliked by everyone else so he always works somewhere else so theyve NEVER talked with other teachers than him #well all of this is just me trying not to feel too bad and self conscious about not doing as much Teaching as everyone else (sweats)

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey #Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else #It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize #You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt #Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc #Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t #And it gives you a crisis at age 14 #Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice #and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it #Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something #I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’ #and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir #Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :) #I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag #I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something #More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please #doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue #But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today #(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back) #And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it #TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos). #I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start #Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything #Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing #I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation #But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south #It certainly does not help and can be disheartening #Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious #lion’s lair

[the-casbah-way]

PLEASE can u tell us more about sugar daddy Octavius

we were basically talking about the fact that octavius has so much money and nothing to do with it and gift giving is his main love language so he starts spoiling the shit out of jed and buying him whatever he wants like it’s nothing. more of my sugar daddy octavius thoughts include:

• octavius buying all of jed’s sisters plane tickets to come and visit

• him casually giving jed his credit card when jed wants to go out to a bar or club with his friends (plus all of jed’s friends seeing him pay for drinks with his boyfriend’s card and teasing him about accidentally snagging a sugar daddy)

• octavius buying jed a literal bmw for his birthday one time because it’s jed’s favourite car and he’s never been able to afford a car before. octavius is at the car dealership like ‘are you sure this is the newest model you have. does it have cupholders. i will put you in the ground if it is not running perfectly now take my money’. then on jed’s birthday he’s like ‘your present is in the driveway go and have fun’ like it’s the most casual thing in the world

• when jed wants something more expensive like a new guitar or a tattoo and he can technically afford it with his wages but he’s worried about spending that amount of money all in one go octavius is like. shut up and take my money

• also octavius giving jed money so he can get rid of all the clothes he has that he gets overstimulated by but couldn’t afford to replace

• if jed is having a rough week or going through one of his phases where he’s super stressed and overwhelmed octavius will pay for him to go and do anything he likes to cheer him up and usually buys him a nice dinner from somewhere fancy too

• jed is not materialistic At All and literally never asks octavius for anything but he ends up getting spoiled anyway because octavius makes up the stupidest excuses to buy him shit. jed will pick up something really random and stupid in a shop and octavius is like ‘don’t be silly you do not need that put it back. ok FINE if you insist. god. here’s my credit card’ even though jed didn’t open his mouth

#jed’s not like. poor #engineers usually get paid a decent amount #but living in london is Expensive and jed is bad with money #and he stresses a lot because he’s used to struggling to pay rent and bills etc #it’s just SO draining being so conscious about money for so long yknow. jed deserves to get spoiled #octavius has a good solid pay check and a pension and enough money to retire whenever he wants #he might as well spend a little bit on his sexy beautiful husband #they probably have a few disagreements in the beginning because jed feels bad and octavius doesn’t understand why #because octavius has never wanted for anything monetarily in his life. he doesn’t know that feeling of being a charity case #he’s like i’m giving you money. for free. because i want to. why is that bad #and jed is like chomping at the walls like can you stop being so painfully middle class for two seconds #but once octavius explains that it’s kind of his way of saying i love you #and promises to always ask jed first before he buys him anything beyond birthday presents etc jed is like…… #so be it. and everyone has a lovely time about it #down then left

[hauntedfalcon]

actually, upon seeing a totally unrelated post it occurred to me that people in Exandria think of the gods like people in America think of corporate brands, and I'm gonna turn that one over in my mind for a while

#Critical Role for ts #religion mention for ts #arguably that could be the point of the campaign. for people in general to recognize there are stakes beyond which god gets their worship #the existence and power of the gods is not in question but it's still treated very casually #Deanna makes the commitment of being a cleric as a 'thanks Sunny D' for her resurrection #FRIDA has a level of cleric because they like Deanna not because of any connection to the Dawnfather at all #and FCG was out casting cleric spells before he ever considered a deity #Pike seemed to be an exceptionally devout cleric by all the campaigns' standards (I have not watched C2) #for everyone else it seemed to be a matter of utility #which I make a conscious effort *not* to read as players wanting a particular spell list while not wanting to engage in the devotion aspect #(simply because cleric *is* the all-around performance class for when you join a preexisting campaign. fills the gaps in the party you know #and have there been any paladin PCs besides Zerxus and Yu? again. I've only watched C3 in its entirety and a handful of C1 + LoVM #(pour one out for Emily Axford's original concept of playing the horniest possible paladin. even hornier than Zerxus)

[dawntheduckrb]

Someone drew pearl on a wall in the art building lol

#in class for the next hour and a half #we're doing self portraits again #i hate doing these because this is where me being self conscious gets in the way of my work #and i take my own shortcomings as an artist and turn that into distaste for how i look #not feeling good but thats because I've been working on the same draft for an hour lmao #once i get settled with it though that'll likely go away so just gotta get over that first hurdle lol #im debating whether or not to post it #as you might have noticed i took the last one down #i might not but I'm still thinking (TM) #''dawn pulls out random images from their gallery so they can use their blog as a pseudo diary'' moment #not rb

[arnold-layne]

as it turns out, reading is much easier when you don’t have to go to work and have some energy left by the evening. who could have thought

#i hope i will get to read mote during my vacation. im trying so hard to read more but #its a conscious effort for me and takes a lot of energy. which i dont have #and i also have to read for classes which is. way less exciting #arnold’s diary

[indescriptequilibrium]

i think a two-party system rots ur brain in a way that makes u unable to differentiate between different classes n how they fall on a political left-right axis. at least the finnish party system is somewhat representative of the demographics of the country so if somebody was to say, for example, that finnish farmers weren't aligned with capital they'd only have to be pointed at where the party that advocates for rural areas n farmers (keskusta, LITERALLY called center) sits in the political axis n which kinds of governments it usually takes part in n what kind of political maneuvering they're known to do.

kepu ei petä

#im not sayin finns r particularly class-conscious. weirdly ppl think we're all somehow middle-class???????????????? #but if u said keskusta is a leftist party cuz farming is somehow not capitalist or something u would get fuckin laughed at foe years.