#stop im going to cry if i think more

[julijbee]

girlbossing too close to the sun.

#art #ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator #i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books #vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading #ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working #let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny.. #posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned. #morrowind #almalexia #vivec #im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment #so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized #it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor #and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result #i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was #vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking #acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention #like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is #but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc #anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving #but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials #and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc #so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize #and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough #the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right #that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things #and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that #important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree #oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad. #tes

[mewtwo24]

I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.

Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????

Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????

It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--

In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough

#svsss #bingqiu #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #mxtx what must it be like to carry the gays on your shoulders like this #she ran so that the rest of us could walk oh my actual god #i just can't get over how much of the novels are sqq panicking because he needs to 'do right' by lbh #aka make lbh the absolute lunatic from the original #so its just this uproarious back and forth between a guy trying to make a bbg desperate for his love into a human weapon #AND make himself disappear before that weapon is turned on him (also probably the self-hatred talking) #amazing showstopping spectacular **slaps sqq's back** you can fit so many repressed internalizations of toxic masculinity in this mf #legit as i read these volumes i just kept thinking of that meme like 'congrats sqq buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it' (joke) #not that lbh is any better but in fairness the lad is going through a lot too so i spare him too harsh a judgement #also sincerely i dont think i was prepared for just how stupid how crazy lbh goes for sqq. it was. MAGNIFICENT #I was like 'surely he isn't that dramatic' and then by god everyone. by god I started reading and went #'jesus christ that's a nuclear missile shaped little meow meow and that's HILARIOUS' #i also just can't get over sqq insisting 'IM NOT GAY. I DONT GAY. IM THE STRAIGHTEST STRAIGHT!!!!' #while. literally. saying full stop to lbh of like 'wym i smile more genuinely at everyone else they're just scarecrows around me' #sqq--the man who couldn't bear to see lbh suffering as a young boy. #who was so affected he was crying in his sleep and calling out lbh's name over and over #ON WHAT LEVEL IS THAT HETEROSEXUAL SQQ. THE JIG IS UP #literally EVERYONE around sqq being like 'congrats on being the last to know' about his love for lbh #and can we talk about sqq being like 'we used to communicate so seamlessly that we had no need for words. there was no greater joy for me.' #and highlighting that though gongyi xiao was a similar and talented young lad he fell decidedly short because he did not have above quality #and then sqq still being in denial; i swear i LOVE the little hints mxtx drops i feel like the happiest mouse scampering around for crumbs #additionally a question: how does anyone take liu qingge seriously #when he's displeased he just yells 'HEY' and does nothing about it (most times) #that is the most boomer dad energy i think i've ever seen #also :(((((((( all the jokes about tianlang-jun (though accurate) were so deceptive my heart was broken at the end of vol.3

[bigkickguy]

fear and hunger? more like - kiss and hug her <3 I just wanted to draw olivia and abella about to enter the smooch zone :,)

#kickdraw #fear and hunger #abella fear and hunger #olivia fear and hunger #i still can't decide if i like abella with karin or olivia - but also why not just have 2 girlfriends? #i still need to play through more of the game without playing olivia so i can get more of her dialogue.... #i also need to save mr chef more but... abella is so cool... its so hard to let her go :'( #i think... abella's head is a little too small... but i am out of energy to do corrections for this daily doodle attempt lol #i thought of kiss and hug her when posting that and can't stop laughing - im going to say this 600 times #my bf just gave me the worst look when i told him im crying laughig

[demigod-of-the-agni]

FF7 REBIRTH SPOILERS ft A THEORY OF MINE

"Emptiness"

I may be reading too deep into this but bear with me. Sephiroth doing his damned best to reinforce that Cloud is nothing, that everything he feels his fake, that he's a puppet pulled along by Sephiroth's strings with no real purpose of his own. "Your tears are empty" is a line that really stands out to me, because Sephiroth insinuates that Cloud isn't a person and has no true substance as an individual. He's a shell.

Then much later, in the dream-esque Sleeping Forest, Aerith wants to spend one of their final moments focusing on Cloud, focusing on "finding the real [him]". Then Cloud hands Holy to Aerith, and she gifts him the clear materia in return, presumably having taken up Holy before she leaves. Aerith theorised earlier in the game that Holy was probably powered by her memories and dreams, and having lost them to the Whispers, to fate, has rendered the materia useless.

Basically, Cloud aptly describes not-Holy with, "It looks empty".

An empty man holding onto an empty materia.

I don't know, man. The thing about being given an empty thing after being told and tortured with the idea that you yourself are an empty thing is getting to me.

Part 3 is most likely going to deal with the fallout of Cloud's broken psyche and piecing him back together to "find the real [him]". I'm theorising not-Holy is only restored once Cloud has finally figured out who he is and what he wants to do.

Because materia isn't just the crystallisation of mako and the Lifestream. It's the physical representation of hopes and dreams and desires. The Black Materia was created to deliver the Gi from their unending existence. The White Materia ensures the prayers of the planet are answered.

And now not-Holy belongs to Cloud, so that whatever he finds in himself will fuel not-Holy and provide it with new purpose, maybe even allow him to finally heal after over two decades of suffering, because as Aerith said, "it's about saving the world — and you"

That is all

#ff7 rebirth spoilers #HOLLERING UNTIL I GET GIVEN FF7R PART 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT FOR YEARS #GENUINELY SO DISTRAUGHT OVER THIS GAME. FUCK #“maybe aerith doesn't die!!! maybe cloud saves her!!!!” oh sweet summer child past agni we got something even MORE CONFUSING #this has been on my mind all night. couldn't stop thinking about this. and also the fact that cloud needs cognitive reconstruction surgery #YEAH SO MATERIA JUST BEING THE SOLIDIFICATION OF NOT JUST MAKO AND THE LIFESTREAM #BUT ALSO THE DESIRES OF THE SOUL #YOU ARE HOLDING THE PUREST ASPECTS OF YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN HANDS #YEAH. ANYONE ELSE THINK ABOUT THAT #im going to cry about this forever now. and think about clerith...... fairwell #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #ff7 rebirth #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 rebirth

[dizquized]

FOR YOUR OWN SANITY, do not look in the tags, dont do it. its not worth it. a demon possessed me or something, i dont know.

#alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #WHY IS IT LIKE HTAT #every time i see his fuckass bob i break down cry-laughing #EVERY TIME #i legit cant stop myself from just falling to the floor because his haircut is just that bad #hes supposed to be like a super powerful demon #but he chose THAT haircut??? #he put all his points in Vertical and tries to fake horizontalness with his coat and also by folding himself so he's as flat as a table #he knows he is horizontally challenged #he also put all his points in 2014 uber duber scary oc #but he skipped past the haircut one #like #do you not see yourself in a mirror? do you walk past reflective surfaces eyes closed? #maybe he doesnt allow photos or videos because he saw his haircut once and he legit had no idea it was that bad #he doesnt allow photos or videos because he doesnt wanna get embarrassed more than he already has with that stupid bob #its so bad like actually #he can apparently shapeshift (unsure tho) which means that haircut was a conscious desicion #he CHOSE the “kick me!” sticky note life and he better regret it soon #anyways rant aside #yeah alastor's pretty cool #he's very fun to draw (from the front and the front only) #its honestly so fortunate that most times hes facing the camera #which is funny considering his hate for modern technology #yet he very often is facing towards the camera with his bigass smile #ok i think im going off topic oops #hazbin hotel #hazbinhotel #hazbin alastor

[note-boom]

BSD S4 spoilers!

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I'm literally crying. What right does Oda have to look so tiny and adorable??

#im not sure if the source i provided is the official anime twitter but i think it is? #happy to take corrections if so #anyway AFJIWE OFJASIOE FJIOSAJEFIOJDF ASI i cannot WAIT until i can watch the episode #but for now ill just watch the fandom go stir crazy /I/ am going stir crazy!! #BUT SERIOUSLY IM OBSESSED WITH YOUNGER ODASAKU I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS BABY WAS AN ASSASSIN IM CRYING #i cry even more when i realize that he and ranpo are just a year apart like why? #protect the boy protect him forever #bsd s4 spoilers #bsd season 4 #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd ranpo #bsd odasaku #bsd fukuzawa #also love that fukuzawa looks as stern and 'i didn't want to adopt but now i have and i cant stop' as ever #bsd official art #anime things #anyway AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! #rambling in the tags sorry #edit: also ill get rid of the read more tag later i just wanted to give a fair chance warning etc

[simmyfrobby]

― ”Agamemnon”, Aiskhylos, trans. Anne Carson, An Oresteia.

Hockey Poetry Post 22/?

(Photo credit: Michael Martin, Matthew Stockman, Bruce Bennett, Minas Panagiotakis, link, link, link, Michael Martin, Stephen R. Sylvanie)

@national-hockey-lesbian made a Kraken post so I had to make an Avs one to balance the humors

#heard this guy on the 32 thoughts podcast describe mackinnon as a rhinoceros and ive not been able to stop thinking about that At All #anyway: a mackinnon poem as promised #hes so intense looking even when hes not covered in blood #the dramatic potential is endless #ok: tags #colorado avalanche #nathan mackinnon #hockey poetry posts #anne carson #aiskhylos #Im also going w more obscure texts now but if one more person accuses me of being a theatre kid I WILL cry

[pothospant]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[good-beanswrites]

I already brought this up, but for quicker reference:

Order of Attack: Mahiru nightmare sequence about Kotoko's attacks. Gotta round out the guilty trio.

Feel free to not prioritize this. :D

LISTEN, I CAN'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE ANGST THAT YOU REQUEST (<- made myself sad over Mappi and worries I may be in trouble for this one). Obligatory "I don't hate Kotoko and think she's very complex but from these character's pov I had to make her solely scary I'm sorry." And of course I was prioritizing this 👀👀👀 I really loved your nightmare sequences, I tried to make one that completed the set but was still unique!! Thank you for the request >:3

TW for referencing her bf's suicide, and descriptions of the attack injuries

“Aw, come on, you can tell me~” Yuno turned her attention away from where she’d been helping Mahiru with dinner. “Both Fuuta and Amane have had nightmares about her. Hell, I’ve had a nightmare or two about her. I won’t think you’re a mean person for admitting it.”

“I’m not lying,” Mahiru insisted. Her lips rounded into a little pout.

Yuno studied her expression. The girl had a way of really looking at someone when she wanted to. Sometimes it was a wonderful feeling – her gaze could be full of understanding, warmth. You were seen. You were heard. She saw you for all that you were. 

But in times like these, Mahiru found herself shifting under the pressure of it. Yuno was truly seeing her. She could see how Mahiru’s smile was frozen in its forced shape these past few weeks. She could see the way she flinched at loud noises, or how all the blood drained from her face when Kotoko’s voice echoed from the room next door. In waking, there was no doubt Mahiru was afraid of her. In sleep, though…

Yuno took her hands in both of hers.

“Then… what do you dream about?”

—

Mahiru was in the woods. She was running, her feet bare, her breath hitching. 

At first, she thought she was fleeing something. Danger and death loomed around her. The trees closed in. The canopy plunged her into darkness. The branches reached out to tear at her flowered dress, or snag on her hair. The trees pressed close to suffocate her. She grabbed at her throat. 

At some point, it became clear she was running towards something. A figure came into her view, just ahead. Though he didn’t appear to be running, she couldn’t catch up to him. She had to. He was in danger. She had to get to him. She had to stop him. 

He entered a clearing up ahead. Mahiru could just barely see into it. She tried to scream out, begging him to stop, but no words came out of her wheezing mouth. She could stop everything, she could stop all of this, if only –

She burst through the clearing. The figure, now a young woman, stood in the center. She faced away. 

Mahiru tried again to tell Kotoko to stop, but it didn’t matter whether or not she could speak, now; it was too late. 

On the ground below, between tree roots and scattered leaves, lay two small bodies.  

Mahiru’s hands flew to cover her mouth. Her legs grew weak with horror. There was blood everywhere, and bones bent at wrong angles. Fuuta’s limbs were twisted and limp. Amane had curled herself to cover her face, blood streaming from between her fingers.

 Kotoko, too, had red-stained hands. She surveyed her work with pride.

“What… have you done…?”

Slowly, Kotoko turned. Mahiru wanted to turn around and run before those bloodthirsty eyes could land on her. Her legs stayed frozen in place even as her heart raced in her chest. 

Kotoko met her gaze. Then, she gave a gentle smile.

“Thank you.”

Mahiru stumbled back a few steps.

“You let this happen.” 

“No…”

“You did. You could have stopped this, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

“I-I didn’t –! This isn’t – ! I thought –”

“You knew this was going to happen.” She spoke a familiar name, and Mahiru shook her head violently. “You knew what he was planning. You had plenty of chances to stop him. You didn't. You knew what I was planning. You know how to calm people down, how to bring groups together. But you didn’t speak to me once about it. You wanted this to happen.”

“I didn’t!” She said it frantically, unsure if she was trying to convince Kotoko, the two beaten prisoners, herself, or someone else. “I didn’t.” The statement was true, but it didn’t change anything that Kotoko had said.

The forest closed in. Kotoko reached a hand out, beckoning to her.

“We make a good team, don’t we?”

“No…” 

Mahiru was struck with the thought that she didn’t want to take hold of such a disgusting hand, only to glance down at her own. They were just as slick with blood. She let out a shriek.

It was Amane’s. It was Fuuta’s. It was his. 

Mahiru’s legs finally gave out on her. When she looked up, Kotoko was still smiling.

“So… who will be next?” 

—

Mahiru slipped away from Yuno’s grasp. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about little old me!” She turned back to their work. She brushed her hands off on her apron, giving them an extra swipe for good measure. “I promise, Kotoko isn’t the villain in my dreams.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #kotoko yuzuriha #i kept it in the order i got everything but i was definitely thinking of it nonstop adfsdf #im forever crazy about mahiru's murder-through-inaction theme #since all of the others were pretty direct even if accidental #i firmly believe she knew what her bf was planning and didnt stop him/actively said shed join him because she didnt know how to handle #the situation properly #and if she prides herself so much on being good with people and making friends and bringing people together i wonder if shed feel #responsible for not deescalating kotoko beforehand #plus the more immediate survivors guilt that if she was just in the other room maybe it would have been her and not fuuta/amane #at first i wanted to work in more mv symbols (birds cake carousel horses) because i love wacky and surreal dream sequences #but it got to be distracting when i was planning it out lmao so i decided to stick with the two major trauma moments #vibing on my trip rn but i had just a few lines of this one to finish so i wanted to post it when i had a few minutes... #though now i need to go and pretend im not crying over mappi 😭😭😭😭😭 #drabbles #order of attack #(to go back and make it an official tag later)

[undefeatablesin]

Me whenever I am not playing Bloodborne: I sure do wish this was Bloodborne

#sin speaking #(ive exhausted bloodborne of its content well and truly but do u think that stops me from wanting it? no) #(all the while im bumbling around with my tarnished in the back of my head im like man...........i wanna go home) #(i.e to yharnam LFLSLFLLDLFLF) #(i cant explain why this game has me in a chokehold at all times i just know it does) #(i heard fromsoft was bulking their staff for future projects and i cry knowing bb will not be among them in any capacity) #(i wish and dream like the grand jester of clown kingdom that i am but i know. GOD DO I KNOW.) #(ill just. sit here with my bloodblorbos. and be self indulgent.) #(i should probably draw more of the canon characters but as a self indulgent fool i am brainrotted by my own hunters so.) #(LMAO) #(if you follow this blog u know to expect that already tbh i serve ocs here. and comics with suspiciously recurring background motifs 😂)

[sunblazes]

I could talk for a whillee abt how good I think family in flames was in fh s1

#i.really love the jail scenes. perfect mixture of funny escape scenes #and inncrredible scenes with the parents. #i think fig and sandralynn at this time are so interesting how fig rejects her reaching out and how sandralynn looked just like fig when she #was younger... the clear sadness of sandralynn that fig pushes her away again. the blame fig puts on her for gorthalax leaving #SOOO GOOD #amd then the fabian and bill scene BROTHER..... #i fucking LOVE that scene and what i love so much is they never get a chance to even talk abt it before hes killed #bc bill starts the fight but fabian finishes it its all fabians frustration and i reallylike when bill tries to get up after fabian stops #and fabian just beats him fown again LOVE IT SO BAD people do not talk abt it enough #and like thats only the prison scenes. the scene where adaine finds out shes the oracle is sooo good and WHERE THEY FINF OUT GOLDENHOARD god #ITS SO GOODDD the reveal is so crazy good #AND THEN THEEEE FJCJVNGJ. THE ATTACKS ON THE HOUSES. its genuinely so fucking stressful they need to do more shit like that i rememeber #shitting myself watcjing it likeee #fabians scenes CRAZY going for his mother and his fatehr dies #EMILY FIRST TIME CRYING ON D20 AND IT WAS SO GOOD her and her mommmmm..... she realises how shes just a personnn...oh i feel ill #figs reluctance tk go to the faeth house at all.Ugh.UGHHHH #RIZ FINDINNG OUT ABT HIS DADDDD oh my lorddd #anywayUmm to anyone who read this..im so sorry i love to talk

[nandermoenthusiast]

oh my god i got so emotional SHUT UUUUUP

#911 #911verse #evan buckley #so this is what crying about a character is actually like #like i do be crying at times dont get me wrong #but i just love buck so much. i kept stopping the episode and going. omg omg omg #omg its happening. omg idk if i can actually watch this. omg its happening !!!!!!!!!!! #jesus christ JESUS CHRIST #like i know we throw the word around a lot but this is MY SON #and everything that happened in the episode. it was like it was happening to me #i felt actual physical damage and actual butterflies as the kiss moment approached #like theY DID THAT #THEY MADE MY BI SON CANONICALLY BI #idk to have this shift in a characters perception this late in a procedural….. 911 you gods #i really hope they can somehow make more seasons cause they would deserve ti #it. and like. this doesn’t have to be the end of buddie?? #they could get them together at any time bc buck realizing hes into men is a lot other worm can than buck realizing hes in love with #his best friend. i just dont know how they would do it with eddie bc they would have to pull a lot of focus over there too with a big #chance of feeling repetitive with their narratives #maybe they just show them together after a timejump and say they worked some stuff out idk lmao #ANYWAY I AM STILL CRYING BECAUSE BUCK MY SON IS A CANONICAL BISEXUAL JEALOUS DISASTER JUST LIKE HIS MAMA ❤️ #THIS IS WHAT REPRESENTATION IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT (and i mean his horrifying handling of the feelings of being left out of course lmao) #THE LOOK EDDIE SHOT HIM TOO #i am too frazzled rn i just need to scream i think #hi. im sorry this is me coming out of the 911 closet now that wwdits is on hiatus #evan buckley!!!!! #SON OF MY SONS #LIGHT OF MY LIFE #APPLE OF MY EYE

[dandyshucks]

everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE #it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it #and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl #but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum #I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked #alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray #i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not #im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired #i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on #i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well #im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps #i do not have high hopes fjfkdl #MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭 #im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!! #if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl #i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit #augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

[needylittlegirl]

hi guys its 5am and im crying my eyes out does anyone want to play checkers or something

#me when i realize that i care about someone probably a lot more then they care about me #and if i stopped talking to them they probably wouldnt notice but if they stopped talking to me i’d be a little heartbroken #and i want to be really really close to them but i cant be because they dont want that too #and they probably dont realize my heart is in their hands #and yeah i probably have a childish little crush on them but they aren’t going to do anything with it #which is fine i wouldn’t even necessarily date them or anything #but i just wish that they held me as close as i hold them to my heart #i dont even think i have romantic feelings for them its really just #i like them alot as a person but they dont like me as a person #they dont Not like me. im just there and theres better people for them #sometimes i dont think they even consider me a friend #they just talk to me cause i talk to them i think #which sucks. a lot #i just wish i could be a person they like and not just tolerate #whatever cry cry whine whine thats all this is #if you actually read all my tags. hi what r u doing down here #i have to be up in an hour #tbd

[strwbrymlkshake]

It's difficult dealing with so many people who think we aren't meant to be with eachother. I don't get why someone else's relationship can mean so much to bystanders. Can't you find something else to do?

#mine #yandere #yancore #irl yandere #yanderecore #yandere vent #yanposting #i just. self confidence can only get you so far. surrounded by people who are saying awful things wears me down so much #i hate them so much and i wish they never existed. its making me stronger supposedly but the only thing i feel like its actually doing is #making me violent and miserable and angry and nauseous. please stop saying those things about him #i try to block it out but its literally everywhere. this is all i have. this is ALL I HAVE. BUT IT DOESNT MATTER HUH #and it feels like theyre all against me. and the only thing i can do is cry and hate them more and more #and the only thing i can do is love him the most. but only by myself. because no one can comprehend the lengths i would go #and no one takes it seriously and appreciates that its the only thing keeping me sane and the only reason why im here rn #but then again. they dont matter do they? #i just need to permanently kill that part of me that cares what they think. because nothing else and no one else matters!! ok??

[bunnyb34r]

Having a cranky crabby high frustration day and it made me think of something I hadnt in a long time

I was thinking ab how growing up I wasnt allowed to get mad or god forbid have an attitude (yeah having CPTSD and oh being a literal fucking child will do that to you) and how I would have to lie and say I was "just tired" bc that was more acceptable than "I'm fucking mad at you right now and I know that if I say anything about WHY I'm frustrated, you'll get mad back at ME"

And it's like we all knew it was a lie, like ffs let your kids be mad at you sometimes even when you think they have no reason to be! Especially if they have poor emotional regulation!! And for God sake look in the fucking mirror and see that they are reacting how YOU react to anger!

Idk it just made me mad to think ab how kids and teens aren't allowed to be angry or "have an attitude" and then parents wonder why kids act out. Like when you have no healthy outlet to deal with anger you're going to get it out however you can, and suprise grow up into an adult with anger issues! Who fucking knew!

#marquilla #what triggered this was i was frustrated w/ [rc] ab them correcting how i wrote the layout bc if they would just fucking read the plannogra #m on the app then we wouldnt even be having this happen! and i had said something that came off as attitude and she went #'why are you mad 😠' and i said im not im TIRED #my anger issues are so fucking bad lately it's not fucking funny and it's so hard to learn healthy ways to regulate it as an adult #and i was thinking ab how i dont have any coping skills on calming down in general bc i would ignore adults telling me to breathe deep #bc breathing isnt gonna make my problem go away and if i get quiet youre gonna go back to ignoring my problem bc well she stopped crying #so now i can't like take deep. breaths to calm down or count or shit bc my brain is like why so you can fucking pretend whats causing my #problem/emotion doesnt exist? #god i need more therapy