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#strange people are chosen
autumnsup · 8 months
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Arthurian Musings
(in honor of Velvet Goldmine's 25th anniversary)
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Image sources (mostly screenshots taken from the film I believe): fanpop.com; artscenesa.com; screenmusings.org; fanpop.com.
The first few times I watched Velvet Goldmine, I was probably most drawn to Curt as a character, and through him and his mangled perspective, Brian and Mandy. Arthur was just a footnote, a sweet little fanboy cherry on top (or bottom, as the case seems to have been 😉).
But with repeated viewings, and as my understanding of fandom and identity has expanded, I've come to realize that of all the characters, Arthur is probably closest to my soul's reflection. He's a stand-in for the viewer, perhaps, but he's also a love letter to anyone who's ever found themselves forced into hiding from their family of origin and seeking out validation through art and his peers. That he got to meet at least one of the artists he'd adored from afar feels so fulfilling to me, after seeing the rejection he'd gone through at home.
I love watching how his appearance changes from past to present throughout the film, from the colorful stylistic mishmash of his young and out self to the spare muted palette of Arthur Stuart, journalist. As a younger person, I found his open-mouthed stares, stretched-out grins, and crumpled face in tears a bit cringe, but now I just see it as part of who he is, earnest and breathless and hopelessly in love with his idol.
He might be more jaded as an adult, more buffeted about by the winds of personal and social change, but his dogged persistence in finding out the truth of what happened is a driving force of the plot, and without his perspective and memories to guide us, we wouldn't have the same film.
"Give him a mask, and he'll tell you the truth," the saying goes. Most of the characters show this to varying degrees, but none so relatably as Arthur, in my opinion. Our masks can help us carry out the work we need to do in exposing the truth, and Arthur used it to his advantage. I like to imagine that he's able to put the mask aside eventually, once the day's work is done. Perhaps with a cold drink and a certain someone at his side. 🥰
🍻
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ehlnofay · 7 months
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There is a pie on the table.
Not part of one – a whole pie, its crust flaky and steaming, one of its sides beginning to split, leaking its innards onto the serving plate. A whole pie. On a table set for eight. And Torr doesn’t think that Babette even eats.
A whole pie. And sliced turnips, baked with melted cheese, also hot enough to steam; a dish of them. Torr briefly considers stealing it – stupid idea, where would he even take it? What would he do with it? It would be difficult to explain later. Right now his main goal is to not do anything difficult, at least until he’s got more of a sense of the place, of its boundaries. What’s expected. What to expect.
And they’re immediately cocking up that goal, because when invited to a friendly welcome lunch they stopped dead in the middle of the floor to stare wide-eyed at the table.
Veezara, standing behind them, raps politely on their arm with his knuckles. “Do you want to sit?” he asks; Torr has no bloody clue what they want right now – shovel turnips into their face, face stuck into the dish like a pig eating from a trough, maybe, or alternatively to steal the pie and hide it somewhere it will be safe to come back to on a rainy day – but people are sitting (that is generally what is done at lunch tables) so Torr casts a quick glance over the lot of them and sits too.
(He doesn't want to make them wait.)
His chair is one of the ones closest to the doors. It’s quite far down the table from Astrid, who is smiling encouragingly; but Veezara sits next to him seemingly without a thought and sitting directly opposite him is Babette, and Torr's spoken a little to them both. He can't make any claim as to knowing either of them well, but Veezara seems even-keeled and open enough as to be a little reassuring, and Babette, at least has made him laugh.
Next to Babette is Gabriella, her dark hood pulled low over her forehead. She has a perpetually secretive look about her face – one brow slightly raised, lips slightly curled – as if she knows something no-one else does, and the way she looks at Torr makes him think of the way people look at bugs. Not in a bad way – she looks at him in the way people fascinated by bugs look at bugs – but still, he’d rather not be a bug. She catches their eye, half-smiles. “You brought your bag to the table,” she observes.
Torr glances at the floor, where his pack spills out from under his seat where he’s stowed it. Shit. They probably should have left it on the bed Veezara said was theirs, but they honestly didn’t think to; they don’t really want to leave it behind, besides.
“Yeah,” he replies, and nudges it further under his chair with his foot. He feels painfully and awkwardly observed.
(They're all watching; Torr's been here for less than a day, and he's trying to get a sense of the place, and until he understands how it works he needs to keep his head down.)
A tall man wrapped in red readies a gleam-edged knife over the pie platter. At the other end of the table, Astrid smiles. It’s a scimitar of a thing. “You’ve all met our newest Sibling, then?” she asks, in her molasses-rich voice, and the knife sinks into the flesh of the pie in a way that makes Torr want to wince. His stomach feels shaky.
There are various noises of assent from around the table. Torr’s met most everyone by now, all but the white-blonde man sitting silent and displeased by the head of the table, though he hasn’t spoken with most of them for more than a few minutes. Gabriella reaches across the table and levers a slice of pie onto her plate with the carving knife, already sticky with the juices leeched from the meat, torn-up flakes of pastry clinging to the side of the blade. It smells nice.
(It is, Torr tells themself, a normal-sized slice of pie. The same kind of portion sizing they’ve always seen in taverns busy enough not to kick them out. And realistically – based on the numbers Astrid showed them earlier – there’s plenty of room in the Brotherhood’s budget, for, what even are the ingredients of that, flour and meat? Water? It can stretch to cover the turnips no problem.)
“We’ve spoken,” says the man from the kitchen – Nazir, that was it. The tall one, with the gold in his beard. He sounds unimpressed. He does not seem like someone who is often impressed. Gabriella passes on the knife; Torr's eyes track its movement. It's an unconscious effort, but they're stuck – in this moment, breaking bread with a close-knit household of people whose only commonality is a predilection for violence, they cannot stop paying attention.
“Lovely,” Astrid says. Her eyes flash in the torchlight as she turns to face Torr. “Torr, do you feel like you’re getting to know everyone? Settling in?”
Torr manages a quick glance around the table, the room as a whole. They’ve learned most everyone’s names and feel reasonably confident nobody’s going to start screaming at them or start doing blood rituals or something; nobody's going to do anything unprovoked, which is enough of a comfort. They’ve mostly learned the layout of the Sanctuary, too – this bit of the cave opens into the dormitory sort of space just up above, and the big room a bit to the left, the kitchen tucked away in the corner. As cave rooms go, the dining space is quite nice; warm light, lots of room, a relatively even floor. It’s not damp in here like it is in the big room with the little pond. It’s nice and dry. Torr could probably do without a bed – they could kip under the dining table and be fine. (They’ll still take the bed if it’s offered, though.)
“Mostly, yeah.” Torr watches the sticky-dark knife getting passed around the table, the beautiful enormous pie disappearing at a rate that isn’t alarming and is in fact a normal speed for things to be eaten. His throat is dry. “Uh, Veezara showed me the beds and everything. It’s a nice place.”
The old man sitting up the other end of the table pauses, his fork stuck into a slice of turnip. “I hope you don’t think you’re being smart, boy.”
Like Torr’s fool enough to try to be snarky about this. Like they'd try to act smart now, of all times, when he's still feeling out the limits.
“Nah,” he says, tapping narrow fingers against the edge of the table. The ends of them are flushed red; scars from old chilblains, an irritated colour that never goes away. He is breathing evenly; a scraping breath in, one, two, three, a steady breath out. Cave or not – “It’s got a roof, hasn’t it?”
It’s warm – almost stiflingly so – and dry in parts. The rain and snow and wind can’t get in. There’s a whole pie served at the lunch table. Hundreds in gold if he does his job right. What the hell is he going to complain about?
There’s a nudge against his shoulder that is too surprising to make him flinch; when he looks, Veezara is holding out the knife, handle-first. “Oh,” he says; he takes it, because what else is he going to do?
There’s one slice left on the platter, rich and dripping, and plenty of the turnip dish. Torr’s stomach is folding in on itself. They ask Babette, “Are you going to have any?”
“Oh,” she says, “goodness, no,” and she smiles wide, vicious teeth pressing into her lower lip. “No offense to Nazir’s cooking, of course. But my appetites are a tad more discerning.”
Torr replies, “Well, that’s disturbing,” and Babette laughs, and Torr is left gripping the knife hard enough to turn red-flushed knuckles white and staring at the food on the plate. Clumsily sliced pastry, the meat and juices spilling out, running down the sides. Still steaming, just a little. There’s no one else to eat it – most everyone else already served and waiting for them. There’s no-one near who needs it more. But Torr doesn’t quite need it, do they? Not yet. But everyone’s waiting. And good first impressions and all that. And Torr really wants some pie – they just also want to shove it all away, or lock it in a box to save for later.
“Are you not hungry?” Nazir asks, something not unlike challenge in his voice, and Torr is supposed to be keeping his head down. He can't be pushing it already.
It takes Torr a few seconds to even realise that they were spoken to at all. They’re very busy staring at the platter, knife dripping onto their knuckles.
“No,” he says, “I am,” and then Veezara’s cold-scaled fingers are on his hand and he’s taking the carving knife from him, and Torr's shoulders lock in place, breath catching in the base of his lungs – he dithered too long and now they're taking it away – but Veezara lifts the last of the pie on the flat of the blade and drops it, rather squishily and without ceremony, onto Torr’s plate.
Staring at it, Torr says, “Thanks.”
Veezara shrugs and takes up his fork.
The pie is nice, though it takes Torr several seconds to work up to having a bite. He doesn’t know much about cooking, so he can’t pick out each individual taste – but the meat might be veal, or at least pretty similar to how he assumes veal tastes, and it’s good. It sticks in his throat when he swallows. He can hear all the clinking of cutlery around him, twitching at every sound.
Babette, the only one without a plate, leans eagerly over the table, fine dark hair puddling on the wood below her chin. “Astrid told us she pulled the old choose a victim gambit with you,” she says. “I love that one.”
Torr presses their lips together, digs their fork into the misshapen lid of their pastry. “The three innocents in the shack? I didn’t.”
“Innocents?” Gabriella echoes, tilting her head. Her hood slides back from her brow just enough that Torr can see the light playing off the ridge of her forehead; she takes a neat bite and adds, “Wasn’t part of that game that they weren’t?”
Nasty game. An unnecessary piece of showmanship. Torr doesn’t say so, of course. “I think the game was that it didn’t matter,” he says instead, and shrugs, fingers playing at the fork stuck in the pastry lid. His pie slice is warping, spilling its insides over the pottery of his plate. The conversation twists his stomach into knots. “It probably doesn’t matter much now. They’re dead, right?”
He’d specifically suggested that Astrid let the ones left alive stay that way, but she hadn’t seemed all too amenable to it. And from a practical perspective – well, letting them go would just be a liability.
Up the other end of the table, Astrid nods once, vague amusement pulling at the corner of her mouth. Torr feels, strongly, that he has made some very bad life decisions.
(But they’re very bad life decisions that have led to ledgers that record payouts of over a thousand septims and a whole pie at the lunch table. He’ll live.)
Torr looks back at their plate. “It was supposed to be about readiness to follow orders more than about who was and wasn’t meant to die. I think. But all it really proved was the lengths I’d go to to get out of a locked room.” The tines of their fork scrape against a chunk of meat. “And, really, that’s not surprising. I’ve probably done worse for less.”
They immediately regret saying it. Babette’s eyes light up, and they know they’ve opened up an uncomfortable topic. “Have you?” she asks brightly, and sits up straight, shaking out her hair. “For what?"
It’s not an easy line of questioning from anyone, but it’s particularly uncomfortable asked by a girl in a grass-stained kirtle, sitting in a chair too high for her feet to touch the ground. Torr sticks his tongue into his cheek, asks, “Is this dinner-table talk?”
“It’s shop talk,” Gabriella replies.
Babette smiles with all her teeth.
Torr doesn't want to talk about this. Torr's not a snivelling child, or some moralising grundy who assumes that they're in danger of being gutted like the game for the pie at a moment's notice – the worst anyone has been so far is taciturn, it would be absurd to extrapolate so hugely – but it would be equally absurd not to be wary, and Torr is well used to keeping a watch when an unfamiliar situation could begin to turn sour. They want to keep to safer topics, easier things to talk about; they also don't want to say no.
“It’s not exciting,” he hedges, twisting his fork between his fingers; Babette stares until he continues. “Guards, more often than anything else, when I got arrested or – or other people did. People who would've hurt us, or we just needed out of the way." It's as close to a non-answer as he can give while still complying, staring into the smooth filling of the pie.
“How pragmatic,” Veezara says, focused steadily on his meal.
“Well, yeah. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t need to.” The pastry lid of Torr’s pie slice is slowly shredding into little pieces scattered around their plate.
Babette tuts. "I suppose I can understand that," she says, fingers pressing into the table; the rest of them watch with unsettling attention. "I wonder – you're young. You must have started about when I did."
Torr shrugs, noncommital; makes a pitiful attempt at changing the subject. “This pie is really good – Nazir, right?”
Nazir does not blink. “That compliment would carry more weight if you’d actually eaten any.”
Torr presses his lips together; manages to scoop some filling onto his fork and spend several seconds chewing. Babette keeps staring at him, unblinking; when he swallows, he says, "Ten years old with a beard knife," because he doesn't want to say no directly and he hopes there won't be any follow-up questions.
Babette’s face lights up. “Oh, really? I was almost ten years old with teeth.” The torchlight is flashing off the points of her fangs. “What a delightful coincidence.”
Torr shrugs and turns his attention back to his plate.
“If we’re talking business,” Astrid says silkily, a much smoother subject change than Torr’s earlier half-hearted attempt, “then I should ask – Nazir, do we have any smaller contracts open that might suit our dear new Sibling?”
The torchlight flashes off the gold in Nazir’s beard as he tips his head, considering. “I’m sure we do,” he says, “though I’d have to check our records. There are a few that I don’t think anyone requested I assign them lingering.”
Babette knocks her foot into Torr’s shin under the table (with considerable effort; she has to slide down so far in her chair to reach them that they can’t see her chin.) “You’re getting the dregs,” she says sympathetically. Her gleaming eyes don’t look particularly pitying.
Nazir tuts at her, slicing off a bite of his pie. “It’s only fair. He’ll have to be here longer than half a morning if he wants the glamorous jobs.”
“I’m fine without the glamour.” They’re not particularly confident in their ability to kill with the stereotypical panache that may be expected with whatever jobs qualify as glamorous. They’ll take the simple work.
“Good,” Astrid says definitively. “You’d be surprised at how much of our work is correspondence. Cutting deals. You know, the boring parts. Not that you’d be assigned to do any of that just yet.” Her head snaps up, blonde hair rippling over her shoulder. “Oh, that reminds me – I got word from our contact in the Three Coins. New intel, hopefully. Any takers?”
Torr, who barely knows what she’s talking about, stays silent, pushing his fork around his plate and gathering a third bite of almost all pastry. It’s the white-blonde man in the seat next to Astrid who speaks up (bit of a surprise, that – Torr doesn’t think he’s even heard him talk yet), saying gruffly, “I’ll go. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Nottov.”
Babette grins, fingers pressing against the table. “How sweet. Reconnecting with your little friend.”
The man bristles; Astrid, smiling, says, “Don’t be mean, Babette.”
“Me?” Torr’s only known her for an hour and change but even so they’re already beginning to tell when she’s playing it up – leaning into the rounded, girlish bubble of her voice, opening her eyes as wide and childlike as they’ll go. “I would never!”
“She would never, Astrid,” Gabriella agrees solemnly.
The old man almost audibly rolls his eyes. The white-blonde one is glaring so hard he seems to be trying to set fire to the table with the sheer power of his unrestrained rage. Torr takes a fourth bite to stifle a laugh.
Then, as they all keep chattering, shifting from shop talk to inside jokes and strange banter, Torr released slowly from the vice of their attention, they take a fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth. At the tenth, they stop counting.
It’s not neat. Their slice of pie was a bit lopsided to begin with, and it’s spent a while cooling on their plate, slowly spilling its innards out onto the ceramic. They managed to shred most of the pastry lid with the tines of their fork. And it isn’t that Torr doesn’t know how to eat with utensils – it’s just that they’re a tad out of practice, let’s say. Even in the short time they spent living in Aventus’ house they never brought themself to eating off a plate. It felt too easy.
Torr’s a bit out of practice, and he rips the pie apart as he eats it, crumbs and sauce strewn over the plate and a little over the table space between the dish and the edge where he sits. A little over his lap. He eats it bite after bite after bite after bite, each one begun before he’s even fully swallowed the last, and when he’s done he runs a sticky finger around edge of the plate, collecting the scraps, licking them off. His throat aches. Veezara, who is at the time in the middle of the sentence, reaches out for the platter of sliced turnip without breaking the thread of his conversation and slides it all onto Torr’s now empty plate. Their teeth are stained with gravy; there's a lump growing abruptly in their throat. They dig in to that, too. They wouldn't want to be rude.
It's so warm down here, the fires in the braziers ever-flickering, the food fresh-cooked. Torr is left in surplus and in silence to watch the rest of them chatter and laugh. It's nothing like a house in frozen Windhelm, clutter-full of waifs and strays; but Torr's stomach isn't so tight, his lungs relaxing enough to take in a full breath. He could be in any bunkhouse, dining with any unfamiliar clan. His throat aches. He could be okay.
(An hour and a half later, Gabriella finds him throwing up into the dank, mossy corner of a dark hallway.
“Oh,” she says, her voice shaded with distaste. “Okay.”
Torr wants to reply – to beg some sort of pardon, keep his head down, soothe the anxiety twisting in the hollow of his chest – but he’s a bit preoccupied by retching up his entire intestines into the dirt. His vomit tastes of rancid veal. It’s not nice; he’d forgotten how gross this was. The last few times he was sick like this he hadn’t eaten enough for it to taste of much of anything.
He hopes this doesn’t put him off the pie. It was really good.
He catches his breath – yuck – wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, gasps out, “Sorry.”
“You’re fine,” Gabriella says, satin-smooth.
It’s not fine, though; this is a shit first impression. Or second, third. Whatever. “Sorry,” Torr repeats. They twist their head to try to take a breath that doesn’t smell of half-digested meat. “Didn’t mean to make a mess. Just – ate too much.” They haven’t gorged themself like that since – who even knows, actually? It was more at once than they’d normally have in a day. Even when they had that much food – well, there was always someone who needed it more, wasn’t there?
They’re about to apologise again, but their stomach spasms and they lean over their nasty little puddle again, gagging.
“Okay,” Gabriella says. She has a soothing voice. Her hand, placed calmly on the ridge of Torr’s back, is cool to the touch. “Maybe you should slow down at dinnertime, then?”
She says it like it’s an inside joke, but it grabs Torr by the throat. More food. More food again, today; more food any time they want it. It’s a concept understood only in the abstract. “Dinnertime,” he repeats distantly, half wonderstruck; and then he’s sick again.)
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hella1975 · 6 months
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i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl
#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM))#anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM#is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it'#and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO#and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this#anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course#so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him#but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS#especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together?#very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact#and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact#but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc#and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times#over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc#AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE#AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM#SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything#so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill#so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow#and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN#AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful#hella goes to uni
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beesholmes · 4 months
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idk i feel like it shouldn't be /that/ difficult to use someone's correct pronouns
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the-busy-ghost · 1 year
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Benefits of audiobooks- I can listen to them while I work, and I am forced to hear and consider every word, rather than read at my usual flying pace, which means I don’t miss things as much and get a deeper and more sustained enjoyment from a really good book
Disadvantages of audiobooks- When there are emotional details they aren’t blunted by the fact that my uncontrolled eye is already skimming the next passages and there are some Emotions that are not appropriate for working hours
#The Woman in White#Because Mrs Clements saying 'I made her first short frocks' broke me#And yet if I'd been reading a physical copy of that passage I'd probably have flown through it without remembering that sentence at all#Also the bit where Hartright says that Anne is buried in a place that Mrs Clements would have chosen for her herself#Was very upsetting#AND to top it all off I've just gone back an dlooked up the passage again and there's a sentence about how#Hartright 'is certain that she was not neglected in her last moments'#WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WALTER#Ok so she had medical attention and all the kindness that strangers could give her#But she died in a strange place confused as to why she was there surrounded by people who only wanted to use her#and the one person in the world who loved her not only didn't know where she was but never heard of her death until Walter told her#At least I suppose when he says that he means it as a comfort to Mrs Clements and that's totally fair and valid but still#Honestly I quite enjoyed the book but Anne Catherick deserved so much better than a single line on a tombstone#Maybe I'm just susceptible to statements about people who died without their loved ones near them for personal reasons#And I know it's a very common occurrence and even in the Victorian era when many people died at home it was common then#But poor Anne deserved better#Anyway also proof that audiobooks count as 'real books'#Because even though I don't always count them towards reading challenges I actually find that I pay more attention#and get a lot more out of fiction books at least than if I'd been reading them in a physical copy#Non-fiction is a different matter but I learnt to race through novels at an early age and just eat them up without much mulling over them#And it's hard to control my eye even when I'm trying to savour a book#So audiobooks actually make me read more carefully and sensibly#Perhaps the main disadvantage is I never know how the names of people and places are spelt#Especially if the narrator has an accent#reading log
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steelycunt · 2 years
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just saw don’t worry darling…measures need to be taken against harry styles and they need to be taken now
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muu-kun · 1 year
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muu, why did you turn out this way.
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fishofthewoods · 1 month
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I see a lot of people clowning on the people of Pelican Town for not repairing the community center themselves or clowning on Lewis for embezzling and. like. Those criticisms aren't entirely unfair. But I think instead of coming at it from a perspective of "why can't the townspeople do this" we should be asking "why and how can the farmer do this?"
Like. Think about it. The farmer arrives in Stardew Valley on the first day of spring. By the first day they're obviously different. By day five the spirits of the forest who haven't been seen by the townsfolk in years or generations are speaking to them. By the second week they've developed a rapport with the wizard that lives outside town.
In the spring they go foraging and find more than even Linus, who's spent so many years learning the ways of the valley. Maybe he knows, when he sees them walking back home. Maybe he looks at them and understands that they're different, chosen somehow.
In the summer they fish in the lakes and the ocean for hours on end, catching fish that even Willy's only ever heard of, fish that he thought were the stuff of legend. They pull up giants from the deep and mutated monstrosities from the sewers.
In the fall, their crops grow incredibly immense; pumpkins twice as tall as a person, big enough that someone could live inside. The farmer cuts it down with an axe without even batting an eye. Does Lewis wonder, when he checks the collection bin that night and finds it full to the brim with pumpkin flesh? What does he think? Does he even leave the money? Does he have the funds to pay the farmer millions of dollars for the massive amounts of wine they sell? Or is it someone--something--else entirely?
In the winter, the farmer delves into the mines. No one in Pelican Town has been down there in decades. No one in living memory has been to the bottom. The farmer gets there within the season. They return to the surface with stories of dwarven ruins and shadow people, stories they only tell to Vincent and Jas, whose retellings will be dismissed by the adults as flights of fancy. People walking by the entrance to the mines sometimes hear the farmer in there, speaking in a language no one can understand. Something speaks back.
The farmer speaks to the the wizard. They speak to the spirit of a bear inside a centuries-old stone. They speak to the shadow people and the dwarves, ancient enemies, and they try to mend the rift. They speak to the Junimos, ancient spirits of the forest and the river and the mountain. They taste the nectar of the stardrops and speak to the valley itself. They change Pelican Town, and they change the valley. Things are waking up.
And what does Evelyn think? She's the oldest person in the valley; she was here when the farmer's grandfather was young. (How old *is* she, anyway? She never seems to age. She doesn't remember the year she was born.) Does she see the farmer and think of their grandfather? Does she try to remember if he was like this too, strange and wild and given the gifts of the forest?
And does their grandfather haunt the valley? He haunts the farm, still there even after his death; his body died somewhere else, but his spirit could never stay away for long. Does Abigail, using her ouija board on a stormy night, almost drop the planchette when she realizes it's moving on its own? Does Shane, walking to work long before anyone else leaves their house, catch glimpses of a wispy figure floating through the town? Does the farmer know their grandfather came back to the place they both love so much?
Mr. Qi takes interest in the farmer. He's different, too; in a different way, maybe, but the principles are the same. They're both exceptional, and no matter what Qi says about it being hard work and dedication, they both know the truth: the world bends around the both of them, changing to fit their needs. Most people aren't visited by fairies or witches. Most people don't have meteorites crash in their yard. Most people couldn't chop down trees all day without a break or speak to bears and mice and frogs.
The farmer is different. The rules of the world don't work for them the way they work for everyone else. The farmer goes fishing and finds the stuff of fairy tales. The farmer goes mining and fights shadow beasts and flying snakes. The farmer looks at paths the townspeople walk every day and finds buried in the dirt relics of lost civilizations.
The farmer is a violent, irrepressible miracle, chosen by the valley and destined to return to it someday. Even if they'd never received the letter, they would've come home.
They always come home eventually.
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sunniques · 1 month
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— 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ?
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➺ PAIRING: lee heeseung x female reader
➺ GENRE: stepbrother au, smut
➺ SUMMARY: the story of how your stepbrother’s girlfriend realizes her boyfriend has never really been hers.
➺ CW/TW: stepcest, infidelity, possessiveness, heeseung can lift reader, cucking kink, voyeurism, masturbation (f), oral sex (f), fingering, face sitting, unprotected sex, creampies
➺ WC: 4.6k
NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.
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A lot of people find your relationship with your stepbrother cute. How could they not? He’s always so doting and protective like a real brother would be. In spite of being only slightly older, Heeseung takes on a very important role in your life. He constantly goes out of his way to take care of you, making sure you have anything you could possibly need.
Heeseung’s girlfriend never thought too much about the relationship between you two. It was natural that he took the naive college freshman under his wing and constantly had you by his side. Mina found it endearing, actually. The way he worried about you like a mother hen who wasn’t ready for her young chick to go into the world alone is adorable and a good sign. After dating so many inconsiderate losers, she thinks she’s finally chosen the right guy.
But somewhere along the way, Mina starts to grow tired of it. Time has gone by, and you’re no longer a naive freshman who can’t get around without her boyfriend’s help. Of course family is important, but it’s not like you’re entirely helpless. And yet, that’s exactly the way Heeseung acts. He’s always ready to drop everything when you need him. On several humiliating occasions, he’s even left her half naked on his bed just to go to you because you bought something you couldn’t figure out how to put together, or because you wanted to hang out with him.
It’s hard for Mina to admit that she’s a little jealous. Especially because it all seems so ridiculous. There’s no way her boyfriend actually wants you like that. But as time goes on, she thinks that maybe she’s not all that crazy. Especially with the affectionate way her boyfriend looks at you. Despite all this, Mina doesn’t say anything. At least, not until Heeseung starts to bring you along to what were meant to be dates.
“Babe, why do you keep bringing your stepsister? i thought we were going on a date?” It’s hard for her to not sound bitter and annoyed.
“Her roommate is going to visit her parents, and I don’t want Y/N to be alone.” His tone is kind and gentle like always, but it’s also firm and leaves no room for arguments.
What’s worse is that Mina can’t bring herself to hate or blame you. In a way, she understands why her boyfriend is always so concerned about you. You’re so nice and trusting that it would be way too easy for someone to take advantage of that. There’s also the fact that you’ve been more than willing to let them have some alone time, but Heeseung never lets you leave.
It’s all so strange and frustrating that Mina feels like she has to take matters into her own hands. So she does.
The key to Heeseung letting you go is getting you a boyfriend—or at least getting you to start dating. It’s easy enough to find a guy who’s interested in you. That’s never been a problem for you, and all it takes is her showing your picture to the cute guy in her communications class for her plan to fall into place. As luck would have it, you’re also into meeting the guy and going out with him.
Little did Mina know, setting you up with him would be a mistake that would cost her everything.
On the night you’re meant to meet up with her classmate, Mina excitedly goes to her boyfriend’s apartment. It’s been a long time since she got to be alone with Heeseung, and she was going to make the most of it.
She’s dressed in tiny tank top and a cute little skirt that Heeseung loves—it barely hides the lingerie she’s wearing underneath. Mina quietly lets herself into her boyfriend’s apartment using her spare key. Quietly, she tiptoes to his room only to find the door wide open. What she doesn’t expect is to find you sitting on his the edge of bed while Heeseung kneels in front of you.
Mina feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on her as his pretty hands rub your soft thighs. You look incredible, clad in a cute little dress with your makeup and hair done to perfection. It’s a mistake for Mina to keep watching, but she can’t find her voice at the moment.
“Seungie, what’s wrong?”
God, Mina hates that you call him that. Mostly because she can tell how much Heeseung likes it.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out to meet some guy?” Heeseung sounds almost venomous, but it’s like you don’t hear it. “Who is he? How’d you meet him?”
You tilt your head, pretty lips pulled down in a confused frown. “Didn’t Mina tell you? She set me up with a guy from her class. He’s really cute!”
A chill goes down Mina’s spine. She can see Heeseung’s back tense when you tell him how your date came to be. The air feels almost murderous as he gently squeezes your thighs.
It kills Heeseung that he was almost too late in stopping you from meeting some strange guy in the pretty little dress you have on. He softly rubs your thighs, eyes simmering with anger and desire he doesn’t care to hide. Not anymore.
“Oh, angel.” Your stepbrother murmurs, hands slowly trailing up to your thighs. “You know you’re my favorite girl, right?”
An unsuspecting smile graces your lips. “Yeah. And you’re my favorite guy.”
Heeseung hums in satisfaction as his fingers ghost the edges of your dress. He watches your eyebrows furrow, but you don’t say anything. As always, you have blind trust in your stepbrother. That’s all the indication he needs to get up and push you down on his bed. Heeseung hovers over you, loving how you’re staring up at him with sparkling, wide eyes. He swoops down to capture your lips in a searing kiss.
Your heart is racing in your chest as Heeseung forces his tongue into your mouth. Despite the initial shock, you quickly melt into the kiss. He swallows your moans, pulling you closer as he deepens the messy kiss. You mewl into his mouth, carding your fingers through his hair with desire you had never realized you had for him.
Meanwhile, Mina can only watch as her boyfriend kisses you with a passion that he clearly never felt for her. It feels like her heart is ripping in half as Heeseung begins to undress you. Tears well up in her eyes when he groans at the sight of the lingerie adorning your body. Mina can see how hard he is from where she’s standing, and the desire in his eyes is very different from the way he looks at her.
“Can’t believe you got all pretty for some other boy.” Heeseung spits as he starts to undress. “Were planning on letting him fuck you?”
You shake your head and go to speak, but you can’t when Heeseung roughly pulls off your lingerie then his own underwear. His cock is thick and big, possibly the biggest you’ve ever seen. It’s twitching and leaking as he looks at you with his dark eyes.
“W-We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whine as Heeseung shoves your thighs to your stomach and licks a broad stripe up your wet pussy.
Your stepbrother groans at your sweet taste, thrusting his tongue into your dripping hole. He laps up the juices leaking out of your slit, circling his tongue on your clit for good measure. The noise you let out is downright pornographic and pure music to Heeseung’s ears.
“Seungie!” You keen as you spread your legs and tangle your hands in his messy hair. “I– Fuck!”
Heeseung pulls back with a wet slurp to spread your cunt open with his big hands. “God. You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, angel. Just had to taste it.”
Each one of his words is like a dagger to Mina’s heart and confidence. Wet tears trickle down her face, but she doesn’t say anything as you pull on her boyfriend’s hair. Heeseung only moans and dives back into your slick cunt. He greedily laps up everything that drips out of you, sucking and kissing your clit.
“We shouldn’t be doing this, Hee.” You repeat through a needy mewl, making no attempt to stop him. In fact, you buck your pussy into his mouth as he sucks on your sensitive bud.
“Shh, angel.” Heeseung shushes as he flicks his tongue across your swollen bud. “Just relax and let me eat you out. Been wanting to do this for so long.”
Mina swallows thickly, the hurt slowly being replaced by something else. Her eyes grow bigger when she realizes which feeling is taking over. She shifts slightly, feeling a familiar wetness begin to pool in her panties. Mina feels sick that the sight of her boyfriend cheating on her can turn her on, and she thinks that she should leave right now and never return.
But she stays.
Mina licks her lips and continues to watch. Even she can’t help but think how hot you look, whimpering and writhing as Heeseung pushes your thighs apart so he can bury his face deeper in your pussy. He flicks his tongue, slowly descending until he’s lapping at your hole, slowly fucking the wet muscle in and out. Your eyes roll back as your stepbrother eats your pussy like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
The sounds coming from your pussy and the way Heeseung messily eats you out has Mina’s own cunt clenching with need. She can feel her underwear start to stick to her cunt as she watches her boyfriend lap up your arousal like a starved man. Mina bites her lip, feeling sick and twisted for being turned on by your pretty moans.
Heeseung suddenly pulls away, but not before he slaps your thigh playfully. He goes to lay on his back all while wearing a filthy smirk. “Sit on my face.”
You bite your lip as a hot flash of arousal pulses through your body. Both your and Mina’s cunts throb at the suggestion. Heeseung sees your hesitation, but doesn’t back down.
“C’mon, baby. Be a good little stepsister and ride my fucking face.” He growls out with dark eyes.
With your pussy dripping, you crawl over to him and kneel over his face. Mina watches with heated eyes as you slowly lower your cunt on her boyfriend’s face. The heat in her stomach grows when she hears Heeseung groan in satisfaction.
“That’s it. I want your pretty pussy suffocating me.”
With that, your stepbrother grabs your hips and pulls your cunt down onto his face with a groan. Mewling quietly, you rub your cunt all over his mouth. Every time he moans or grunts, it sends little vibrations through your pussy. The delicious feeling has you grinding down on his tongue as you chase that feeling. Heeseung eagerly fucks his wet muscle into your hot cunt, already addicted to your sweet taste.
Mina swallows thickly when he sees Heeseung thrusting into the air as he eats you out. His cock is leaking and throbbing with need. Fuck. How she’d like to go and lick all that up, to have him fuck her mouth as he fucks you with his tongue. Mina rubs her thighs to soothe the growing ache in her pussy as she watches you ride Heeseung’s face.
Your eyes roll back when your stepbrother slaps your ass. A loud squeal spills from your lips as Heeseung keeps fucking his tongue up into your cunt. He grabs your ass and kneads it roughly. With one last groan and flick of his tongue, he sits up and takes you with him. The effortless display of strength turns both women on, one containing her moan while the other cries out as she’s pressed back into the mattress.
“Such a sweet little cunt.” Heeseung moans as he buries his face back into your dripping cunt. “Shit, Y/N. You’re fucking soaked down here.”
“Heeseung!” You cry out as he pries your thighs further apart. Your stepbrother shakes his head to grind his tongue against your sensitive cunt.
“Fuck, you have the hottest little pussy.” Heeseung lifts his head with a groan, lips shiny with your arousal. “Missed eating some good pussy. It’s been so long.”
Mina feels pathetic that her cunt throbs at his degrading words. She bites her lip, hands trailing up her thigh and to her soaked underwear. It’s so filthy and humiliating, but the ache in her pussy is getting to be too much. She slowly rubs circles on her covered cunt as she keeps watching her boyfriend cheat on her.
“Fuck, Seungie.” You mewl desperately. “S-Shouldn’t like having your face buried in my cunt.”
Heeseung smirks into your wetness. He gently circles his tongue on your clit, kissing it tenderly before he gently starts to nip at it with his teeth. Mina shoves her panties aside when you moan out in pleasure. Now she’s furiously rubbing at her bare pussy, wanting to see you cum on her boyfriend’s face.
“But you do, baby. You like me fucking you with my tongue, and I fucking love eating this sweet little pussy.”
Your hips buck up at the words, grinding your cunt against his mouth as you moan for him. Juices drip out of you lewdly, leaking down to your ass and onto Heeseung’s sheets. Your head is swimming with pleasure, and you have to remember that this is all so very wrong.
“You like that?” Heeseung teases you, loving how you’ve turned into putty in his hands. “Answer me, Y/N. Do you like your stepbrother telling you how much he loves tasting your juicy cunt?”
Your back arches when Heeseung sucks your puffy bud into his mouth. “God—yes! Feels so fucking good, Hee! Love having your mouth on my pussy.”
Heeseung growls, the vibrations making your cunt throb as he sucks and licks your swollen clit. Eager to have you cum on his tongue, he slips two fingers into your fluttering hole. Mina follows in suit, unable to take her eyes off the erotic sight of you getting ate out and fingered. Fuck. This was better than any porn she had ever watched. Her hand is dripping with her own arousal, and she can’t even feel disgusted anymore that she’s so turned on by the entire situation.
“Mmmh, shit, Hee.” You whine as the tips of his fingers brush against the gummy spot inside you. “You’re gonna make me cum.”
“Do it, baby. Cream all over my tongue.” He purrs in delight. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”
Heeseung flattens his tongue on your clit while his fingers grind into the spongy spot in your cunt. Your back arches off the bed, orgasm whiting out your thoughts as you cum around his long fingers.
Mina has to cover her mouth as Heeseung moans along with you. By now she’s shoved her fingers into her sopping pussy, the squelching sound is drowned out from the sounds coming from your own pussy. The filthy sight is driving her wild, and she’s so delirious with arousal that she wishes Heeseung would just fuck you already.
“You’re amazing, angel.” Your stepbrother praises with his fingers still buried knuckle deep in your pussy as he softly strokes your velvety walls. “So soft and wet. It makes me want to shove my dick into your tight little hole.”
Heeseung slowly pulls his fingers out of you, and you can only watched with a lidded gaze as he moves his body between your thighs. His cock is twitching and leaking as he grabs the base. He smacks his cock down on your slippery pussy, dragging his drooling tip up and down your slit slowly. Mina has to press her hand into her mouth harder to stifle her filthy moans. The sight of her boyfriend pressing his drooling cockhead into your soaking pussy is so hot she might just cum all over her fingers.
“S-Seungie—fuck. We shouldn’t.” You whimper as he leans forward and braces his arms by your head.
You and Mina both know you don’t really mean your words. It’s clear that you want your stepbrother to split you open on his big cock. That becomes obvious when you don’t try to stop him as he shoves his cock into your pussy until he bottoms out completely, balls pressing against your ass. Shuddering with pleasure, you scratch your nails up his arms as you sink into the bed.
“Pretty pussy was meant to take my cock.” Heeseung growls, already drunk on the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his dick. “Fuck. I know it’s wrong, baby, but I just couldn’t help myself. Your hot little cunt was just begging for my dick. Doesn’t it feel all nice and full having your pussy stuffed with your stepbrother’s big cock?"
Mina starts fucking herself harder when you nod desperately. Your hands go to tangle in his hair as you grind your hips up to meet his thrusts. “Yes! Fuck! Love my stepbrother’s cock stretching me open! Feels so fucking good, Hee!”
Mina knows better than anyone how good you must feel. Although, she imagines you feel must better than she ever did because from the way Heeseung’s fucking you, she can tell he’s doing it with much more enthusiasm and passion. Even his moans are more guttural and full of more pleasure than she’d ever heard. They’re deep as he pulls out until just his tip is spearing you open. Then, he pushes forward, thrusting his cock deep into your fluttering walls.
“That’s it. Tell me how good it feels.” Heeseung leans down, lips brushing against yours. “Don’t be shy, angel. Let me know how much you like this cock fucking you.”
You gasp wantonly and pull him down further to press your lips together. He groans and licks into your mouth easily, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock thrusts deep into your hot, wet cunt. Your hips buck up to meet his, loving how his dick rams into your sweet spot over and over until your sight is painted with pretty little stars.
“Fucking love it, Hee.” You moan between sloppy kisses. “God—I love your cock!”
The coil in Mina’s stomach is close to snapping. By now, her juices are dripping down to her wrist. Luckily, the lewd squelching and sound of skin slapping together drown out any noise she’s making. Heeseung is fucking you so hard and good that she can smell the musky scent of sex from where she’s standing. The erotic aroma turns her on even more, pussy clamping down on her fingers in desperate need of release.
“Tight little pussy feels so good.” Heeseung moans out between the quick pecks he’s giving you. “God, I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”
Your heart races as Mina’s breaks all over again. It hurts, but somehow that just turns her on even more. She keeps fingering herself as tears pool in her eyes.
With a low moan, your pussy clamps down on Heeseung’s dick tightly as you go to eagerly kiss him. A soft I love you, too goes unnoticed by Mina, but not by your stepbrother. He groans into your mouth, cock throbbing inside you.
“Mmmh.” Heeseung hums against your lips before he trails wet kisses down your neck. “I love my gorgeous girl. That’s why this feels so good. Even your tight little pussy knows how much I love you.”
His gorgeous girl? Mina thinks deliriously, orgasm dangerously close. It’s something he never referred to her as.
You cry out loudly when Heeseung bites your neck and sucks the skin into his mouth. His hips rock against yours, balls smacking against your ass as his pelvis grinds down on your swollen clit.
“Seungie!” You whine in ecstasy. “I’m getting close.”
Your stepbrother doesn’t let up. In fact, his thrusts seem to get faster and rougher. His cock pistons in and out of your cunt, creating sloppy wet sounds as you get even wetter. His eyes are dark as he pulls back to look at you, all pretty squirming and trembling on his cock.
“Cum for me, baby. Cover my cock with your sweet cream so I can fill you up.” Heeseung pants. “Cum on my cock, angel.”
His teeth sink into your neck again, and it pushes you over the edge. Your hot cunt throbs as you squeeze down on his cock. Somehow your pussy only gets tighter and tighter as you get fucked through your orgasm. You tighten your legs around his waist until he can barely pull out, rutting his cock in short shallow thrusts as your climax starts to taper off.
“So fucking tight.” Heeseung hisses by your ear. “Shit, baby. Get ready. I’m about to creampie your cute little pussy. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
With a strangled grunt, he buries his cock to the hilt and shoots his load deep inside your fluttering walls while your pussy softly milks him for every drop of his hot cum. Mina reaches her own climax when she sees her boyfriend cumming inside you. She has to stifle her moans as she trembles and shakes outside the room that’s filled with the smell and sounds of hot sex.
“You’re taking it so well, angel.” Heeseung kisses your jaw tenderly as his fat tip spurts rope after rope of his thick cum into your clenching heat. “Milking my cock like I knew you would.”
He grinds his hips down, cock pulsing as he finishes stuffing you full of his hot, sticky load. Your stepbrother fucks his cum inside a bit more before reluctantly pulling out. Heeseung’s cock throbs as he watches his seed drip from your messy pussy.
He licks his lips, heated gaze never leaving your body. “Let’s do it again.”
You don’t try to protest as your manhandles into a different position. Mina is still coming down from her high when she realizes her boyfriend is still hard and about to fuck you again. She knows she shouldn’t feel excited or aroused by the fact, but she does. Especially when your face is shoved into one of Heeseung’s pillows just before his big cock rails back into your needy pussy.
Heeseung starts fucking you so hard his headboard slams into the wall repeatedly. The harsh sound pairs well with the plop plop plop sound coming from your cunt.
“God, Y/N. You’re so fucking good for me.” Heeseung groans when you clench down on him.
You moan loudly, bouncing yourself back on his cock. “Fu-Fuck, Seungie. This is wrong. We s-shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I know.” Your stepbrother smacks your ass, not sounding the least bit remorseful. “It’s so dirty baby, but I couldn’t help myself. Had to get my dick wet using your pretty little pussy.”
“Mmmh!” You whine out mindlessly, face turned to the side with your ass raised in the air for Heeseung to fuck deeper into your wet hole. “Feels so fucking good!”
“Yeah, it does.” Heeseung’s laugh sounds almost mean as he speeds up his thrusts to fuck his cock harder into your sopping cunt. “Your cute little pussy is the best I’ve ever had.”
His words shouldn’t please you as much as they do, but those lewd words turn you on so much that you can’t stop your cunt from tightening around him as he keeps spearing into you like an animal in heat. They also shouldn’t turn on Heeseung’s girlfriend but that’s exactly what they do. She isn’t angry, only extremely aroused as your ass bounces back on your stepbrother’s pelvis.
“Fuck!” Heeseung groans, fucking his cock right into your g-spot. “You’re so fucking hot, angel.”
You are. So hot that Mina finds herself wishing she could eat Heeseung’s cum out of your pretty cunt. She just knows you taste good, and mixed with her boyfriend she’s sure you must taste even better.
“Seungie, please!” You cry out, dizzy with arousal.
“Shit.” He growls, slipping a hand underneath your hips to rub fast circles on your clit. “Gonna make you cream on my cock again.”
“Heeseung!” You squeal as he picks up his pace, ramming into your squelching pussy as he rubs soft circles into your swollen clit.
Your stepbrother shoves his cock deep into your cunt and grinds, making you squirm and whine as his dick rubs against the spongy spot in your pussy. Your hands twist in the sheets. He flicks and pinches your puffy clit. God, do you look good, and so does Heeseung. Mina is groping one of her tits while the other hand goes to play with her pussy again. Briefly, she thinks she wouldn’t mind having a video of you two fucking so she can watch it over and over again.
“Hee, I’m gonna cum.” You moan against the pillow.
“Do it, baby.” He encourages you, free hand coming down to slap your ass hard. “Cum all over my cock. Want to feel your hot cunt squeeze me.”
It’s not long before your orgasm hits. You’re screaming into your pillow as your cream coats Heeseung’s big cock. Your pussy clamps rhythmically around his dick. Mina can’t see you, but with the way your toes are curling she can tell your eyes are rolling to the back of your head in pure ecstasy.
“Oh, baby. You feel so fucking good.” Heeseung praises you. His hands move to slap your ass again, making you squeal and tighten again. “Fucking work your little pussy on my cock. Fuck. Need to fill you up again.”
“Want you to stuff me full.” You whine back at him, pussy fluttering at the thought of Heeseung’s cum filling your cunt again.
“Yeah?” Your stepbrother laughs, sounding way too delighted. “Want me to creampie your hot little cunt again?”
“Please!” You whine as Heeseung’s fingers slide over your hip to start working soft circles into your clit again. You writhe back on him, feeling yourself get even wetter at the filthy thought of him shooting his hot load inside you.
“Cum inside me, Hee.” You pant, mewling when his fingers rub your clit even faster. “Want it so bad. Want to feel it.”
“Oh, fuck.” Heeseung groans, hips snapping hard against your ass when he feels how tight you’ve gotten. “You ready, baby? Fucking take it. Take your stepbrother’s cum in your needy little cunt.”
You moan loudly when you feel his hot cum filling your pussy, stuffing you so full it drips out around his cock. Heeseung ruts his spent cock into your sloppy pussy as he pinches your clit, watching as your back arches as a fourth orgasm sweeps through you. You lazily fuck your cunt back into him, loving the feeling of his cum dripping out of you and coating your thighs.
Heeseung pulls out of your warm cunt with a low groan. He’s quick to pull you against his chest and lays you down with him. His face is buried in your hair, eyes closed in bliss as you both try to catch your breaths. You feel his smile in your hair as he cuddles you and murmurs sweet praises against your temple.
Through your drooping eyes, you catch sight of Mina. Her eyes widen when you two make eye contact. You can’t hide your smirk when you see that she was masturbating to the sight of Heeseung fucking you raw. Instead of saying anything, you give her a seductive wink. Mina clenches around her fingers because the wink is full of understanding and promises.
It’s clear that Heeseung was never hers, but maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing.
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drchucktingle · 5 months
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT
hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.
while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.
i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously
lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 
unfortunately i will also have to decline.
the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.
sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.
this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.
but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.
regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?
without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.
to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?
so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’
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nellasbookplanet · 3 months
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Book recs: black science fiction
As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.
Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!
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For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
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Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor
Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.
Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes
Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. They’re all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.
The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown
Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.
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Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*
Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.
Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson
In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.
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Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh
Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.
The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord
After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.
Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud
Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.
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An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship’s leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship’s sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon
The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.
Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden
Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. It’s also sapphic!
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Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*
In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.
Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*
In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.
Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor
Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.
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War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi
In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.
The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson
Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!
The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*
In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.
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The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*
In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!
The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden
South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.
The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*
Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.
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The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport
After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, could’ve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didn’t super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany
1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.
Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi
Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.
Bonus AKA I haven’t read these yet but they seem really cool
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Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes
Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow
Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.
Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase
Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.
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Orleans by Sherri L. Smith
Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa
Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.
Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole
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torpublishinggroup · 6 months
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GET BOOKT
A guide of books to gift the people in your life and yourself!
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For the person who made a 200+ slide powerpoint about Neon Genesis Evangelion for a presentation party… Also for those who attend presentation parties…
The Archive Undying by @emcandon
For all former and current theater kids (affectionate)...
Will Do Magic for Small Change by Andrea Hairston
For the reader who prefers their off-the-wall science fiction tempered with social commentary, or enjoys social commentary in a space opera font…
The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport by Samit Basu
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
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For the friend with the SHUDDER account…
Piñata: A Novel by Leopoldo Gout
For the burned-out chosen one who’s so, so tired…
The Saint of Bright Doors by @adamantine
For the tumblr mutual that fell down the wuxia cdrama hole…
The Water Outlaws by S. L. Huang
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
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For the gamer who fondly remembers their confrontation with Rayquaza atop the Sky Pillar…
Untethered Sky by Fonda Lee
For the “smash first, questions later” friend in your life…
Ebony Gate by Julia Vee & Ken Bebelle
For a tragic superwholockian in dire need of restorative sapphic fiction…
The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
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For the reader who wished Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell was actually Jonathan Strange/Mr Norrell…
The Last Binding trilogy by @fahye, including: 
● A Marvellous Light
● A Restless Truth
● A Power Unbound
━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━
Not enough books? We agree. Check out our other GET BOOKT guide.
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sea-lanterns · 4 months
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THE DRAGON'S BRIDE
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synopsis: (dragon! AU) you were sacrificed to become the dragon's bride.
featuring: ningguang, yanfei, ganyu, xianyun, kokomi, ei
rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)
warnings: sub! afab fem reader, transfem characters (all of them), arranged marriage, hemipenes (double c.o.cks), double pene.tration, an.al, monsterfu.cking, size difference, size k.ink, mating cycles, ruts, marking, hum.ping, hand jo.bs, mat.ing press, rough s.ex, breeding, unprotected s.ex, creampies, womb tattoos, fu.cking in middair, not proofread.
art credits: the ancient magus bride
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Every twelve years on the year of the dragon, the people of Teyvat offer sacrifices to Celestia’s most powerful beings; the heavenly dragons. Born with the power to bestow good fortune or destruction, the people of Teyvat have started a twelve year tradition, where they must sacrifice the best riches, treasures, food and gold they can, to honor these ancient beings, in exchange for another twelve years of success. 
However, on this particular year of the dragon, all the dragons residing in Teyvat have strangely rejected the people’s treasures. Worried that they might be facing a twelve years worth of bad fortune if they failed to please their dragons, the people of Teyvat asked the dragons, "Why did they reject such plentiful treasures?” 
The answers that were given were simple, yet heartbreaking.
“I wish for a bride. The most beautiful maiden in your region. I want her to be mine.”
Never had the people of Teyvat sacrificed a person before to the heavenly dragons. It terrified them beyond belief to wonder what would happen to the poor maiden who was chosen to become the dragon’s bride. But, in order to ensure another twelve years of plentiful success, the villages all across Teyvat began picking out the most beautiful woman they could find in their region, and that beautiful woman just so happened to be you.
Dressed lavishly in bright red silks, gold-clad jewelry, and chains binding your wrists together, you were left at the entrance of the dragon’s lair. The veil of your bright red wedding gown had covered most of your face, but underneath the fabric, a solemn expression of defeat wore down your face, tears running down your cheeks as you never expected that your wedding day would end up being sacrificed to a dragon. 
A gush of hot air emitted from the entrance, and heavy footsteps began approaching you while you stood there and sobbed. The red veil of your wedding dress obscures your vision, as you see the silhouette of a big, monstrous, hefty dragon begin moving towards you from within the lair…
Too terrified to keep your eyes open, you welded them shut, wishing for your death to be a quick and painless one. However, the moment you felt your veil be lifted up by gentle hands, your eyes flitted open and widened at the sight you saw: 
A beautiful, tall, draconian-looking woman, smiling softly at you before wiping away your tears.
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NINGGUANG
The moment you two had met, Ningguang had transformed into her human form in order to make you feel more comfortable. Yet despite looking more human-like, she kept traits of her true self, such as her elegant horns, a golden, shimmering tail that protruded from her tailbone, and patches of gold scales that littered her skin in some areas. The human side of Ningguang was a good two feet taller than you as well, with sharp, red eyes that bore deep into your own, yet held a sort of softness with the way she gazed longingly at you.
On the night of your wedding day Ningguang’s eyes were angered at the sight of your wrists bound in shackles underneath the sleeves of your dress. Convinced that you were probably beaten at some point and treated like a prisoner before being wed to her, Ningguang tore those chains off in a fury, kneeling down in front of you and holding your small hands within her claws… You didn’t expect such tenderness from the tall, draconian-looking woman, yet your wife had taken the liberty of looking up at you, showing the respect she had for you as she kissed your bruised wrists with her lips. 
“I will not let them hurt you anymore.” She whispered under her breath, and from that day on, you lived with Ningguang as her prized bride, realizing just how much she cared for you in comparison to the people of your hometown. Accepting her warm embrace, you spent your days as her wife being spoiled beyond belief by Ningguang and all her riches. The dragon woman loved to adorn you in the softest silks imaginable, have her jewelry draped across your beautiful body as she kept you curled up against her in her nest. It was clear that Ningguang truly loved you with all her heart, and she was intent on keeping you “marked” with her, till the very end of her immortal life. 
Several months had passed of this pure, domestic bliss, until one day, Ningguang began showing signs of entering a rut; a mating period for dragons that gave them the urge to mate. Having sensed when your body had become the most fertile, Ningguang gently nudged your face one night with her nose, humming for her beautiful wife to wake up as she needed to tell you her needs. You were aware that her mating period would be nearing the days of your marriage, however you didn’t expect it to occur in the middle of the night when the both of you were sleeping!
Nevertheless, not wanting Ningguang to spend the rest of the night pent up until you could please her in the morning, you managed to stir yourself awake and sleepily drag your hand down the robe on your dragon wife’s body. Seeing that she was already quite aroused judging by the sight of the two tents stirring underneath her thin clothes, you dipped your hands down to give them a stroke, gently massaging her two cocks while you looked up at her for her expressions. 
Breathing heavily, Ningguang stared down at you with those sharp, yet comforting red eyes of hers. “Undress me properly, dear.” She spoke in an authoritative tone, a smirk pulling at her teeth before she flips over to tower over you with her body. Because she was so much taller than a regular human, she loomed over you like a dark shadow, eyes glowing a fiery red, as she helped you slip off her robe and reveal her slim, yet well toned body. 
Agile that she was, your wife quickly made work of pulling your nightgown off, kissing your neck and letting her two cocks drip their precum down to lubricate your thighs. Just like her body, lithe and slim, her cocks were just the same; on the slimmer side, yet still quite long with the way they hit against your cunt during your intense make out session with your lover.
Using her long fingers to massage your folds and get you wet enough to take both her lengths, Ningguang leaned down to whisper into your ear, unable to contain herself as she practically purred. “Such a good wife…so wet and warm for me…” She chuckled darkly at the way you got even wetter at her praise, your wife deciding that you were ready and pulling your legs closer to her so that they could wrap around her hips. In one swift move, Ningguang pushed the first tip in, spearing open your folds as her second cock rested just above your pelvis, still dripping precum onto your skin while she got you to adjust to her first penetration.
It’s no secret that dragons were big, strong creatures, yet when it came to their dick size, they surely put humans to shame. At the feeling of being stuffed full by just one of Ningguang’s cocks, you felt as if you were being engulfed by her entire body, your wife grunting and biting your neck as she slowly thrusted her hips into you at a slower pace. Each drag of her hips left the ribbed texture of her shaft rubbing wonderfully against your walls, making you whimper softly into your wife’s ear as she eases her way deeper into you, forming a small but noticeable bulge in your stomach. 
Hours would go by of Ningguang just folding you in half. Breeding you, fucking you, just claiming you as hers over and over again as she filled your womb with her seed. It seemed that your wife could go on for even days, but at one particular orgasm, something felt different. As she shot yet another hot load through your womb, you felt a sudden burning sensation on the skin above where your womb would be. At your surprised yelp for help, Ningguang stopped her movements and immediately opened her eyes, staring down at you before gasping at the mark that had appeared on your skin.
A womb tattoo had appeared, an emblem unique to Ningguang’s status as a dragon, as it showed that the rut had successfully claimed you as Ningguang’s mate. Too happy to even care about the sex at the moment, your dragon wife immediately peppered your face in kisses and wrapped her long tail around your body, still sheathed inside you whilst she trailed the mark with her fingers. 
“Bounded forever by this mark, I promise you will be spoiled beyond recognition, my love.” She whispered, wanting to be as close to you as possible, as your body had long accepted being the dragon’s mate a long time ago. The matter of her sex drive was no longer on the mind of the insatiable dragon, but the thoughts of actually having a future with you, was all that Ningguang needed to think about to satisfy her needs.
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YANFEI
A dragon of morals and righteous principles, Yanfei was a dragon that intimidated you with how upright and intelligent she was the first time you met her. Upon first meetings, Yanfei had chosen her human form to greet you at the front entrance of her lair, her stature standing about just one foot taller than you, and having patches of green scales that littered her smooth skin.
The moment Yanfei laid eyes on you, the dragon woman immediately tensed up when she lifted up your veil, breath caught in the fiery dragon’s throat, as she never expected her human bride to be this beautiful. Her expression was quite adorable to say the least, a blush adorning the dragon woman’s features as she wiped away your tears that were streaming down your face. “Please don’t cry, my bride. Let me get those shackles off of you. You’re my wife, not my prisoner, I can’t believe they’d hurt such a beautiful thing…”
Though Yanfei was a dragon of morals and the law, it was evident that despite the calm exterior of her expressions, Yanfei was practically bubbling with anger. If she could, she would head down to your village to burn everything to a crisp for treating you so horribly, but because that was considered “unlawful” in her eyes, she settled for just having your abusers scorched to a cinder, while you were kept protected in her lair.
Of course, she’d never tell you she’d do that outright. Instead, Yanfei just keeps you in the safety of her den, surrounded by a library of law books from every time period and region of the world. When you showed even the slightest interest in reading one of the books from her massive collection, your dragon wife’s tail began wagging with how excited she was to show you and teach you the ways of the law. Whether or not you were genuinely interested in learning about the law is up to you, but it was worth it to see such a high and mighty dragon get so giddy and seat you in her lap, reading to you all the different laws she could find while stroking your stomach affectionately. 
Domestic life with your dragon wife is quite the pleasure if I do say so myself. Yanfei often spent her time with you curled up in her nest, one hand on your stomach while she spooned you from behind with her long tail wrapped around your thighs. Sometimes the two of you would get frisky with each other as Yanfei had a surprisingly high libido, but it usually only ended up with Yanfei fingering you from behind, or you giving her a small handjob while you read law books together in the safety of her nest. It never usually escalated from that, however things started changing around the springtime of your marriage…
This time, what usually was your “cuddling time” had turned into more of a “humping time” as Yanfei started to get more turned on when the seasons changed. Sensing that a rut was on the horizon, Yanfei whispered into your ear that it was time to claim you as hers once and for all, grinding her erections against your rear while breathless whimpers left her lips.
Eager to please your horny dragon wife, you turned around in her grasp and palmed her stiffie through the thin fabric of her clothes, adoring the way she growled with pleasure under her breath, suddenly pinning you down due to the draconian instinct of wanting to breed you right away. When you let out a surprised noise at her sudden string of dominance, Yanfei’s bright green eyes flickered with desire, steam leaking past her teeth with how hot her breath was, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t the least bit turned on at how hot this all was…
Fangs protruding from her teeth, Yanfei marked your body from your neck, all the way down to your tummy. With your clothes now strewn off, you got to see the mouthwatering sight of Yanfei’s two cocks just dripping with need, eager to slot themselves inside you and breed their wife silly with their warm, hot, seed. After a bit of prep, your dragon wife slowly slid herself in, her cocks a bit smaller, but on the girthier side when it came to actually fitting herself in.
With each thrust, Yanfei grunted and practically lifted your hips off the bed to fuck deeper into your cunt, serpentine tongue lolling out of her lips, as she couldn’t help but groan at the feeling of a tight, human pussy clenching so desperately around her. She wasn’t used to this, but hell did it feel so good. Pounding her hips into your thighs and purring at the way her cocks made a bulge in your stomach from how deep she was going inside of you. 
It wasn’t long before your dragon wife finally reached her high, shooting her hot, thick load into you and successfully breeding you for the very first time. You felt the burn of a womb tattoo successfully mark itself on the stomach of your body, and at the blissful sigh of pleasure, Yanfei cooed before kissing the mark with her lips and carefully nibbling on it to show her love. A lovestruck expression on the young dragon’s face, as she was extremely pleased to have her bride finally marked down for herself.
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GANYU
One of the friendliest dragons that resided in Teyvat, rarely anyone is afraid of the dragon named “Ganyu.” The first time you met, Ganyu took on a very gentle and mature form that gave her the appearance of a beautiful, petite, woman. In fact, everything about her was beautiful. From her form, to her lair, to her whole personality as well. Never in your life had you encountered such a caring and gentle “beast,” as Ganyu made sure that you were very comfortable on the first night of your wedding day.
When you first entered her lair, you were astonished to see just how homely it was. Ganyu had taken up the precaution of setting up human-like furniture for you. There was a lavish bed instead of a nest, paintings that adorned the walls instead of crystals, and even a nice, luxurious bath in contrast to a dragon’s usual hot spring. It seems that your new wife was very well prepared in ensuring your utmost comfort, and just seeing how she fidgeted nervously, hoping for your approval, was enough to have your heart beating at how romantic this dragon could be.
Even Ganyu’s dragon form wasn’t terrifying to say the least. While you’ve heard of dragons who were as big as islands, capable of obliterating villages in one, foul breath, Ganyu was quite the fluffy little dragon. She took on the form of a very soft and cuddly creature, just a giant ball of fluff that oozed such warm temperatures. As her wife, you had the luxury of curling up next to her dragon form every night to sleep with, and your dragon wife made quite the wonderful pillow if you did say so yourself.
All in all, living with your dragon wife was a surprising dream come true. She was gentle, protective, soft and sweet with the way she cared for you during your marriage. Domestic life with her was like living on cloud nine itself, but things started to change when springtime rolled around, as you found your wife starting to act more…distant for some reason. 
Several times throughout the night, Ganyu would get up from her slumber to go somewhere in the woods and then come back. When you finally confronted her about this, she blushed and nervously admitted that the reason she kept leaving so often in the night was to “relieve” herself of her sexual frustrations. It had struck you then and there that it was Ganyu’s mating season now, and the poor woman had been spending her ruts alone as she didn’t want to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable!
Ohhhhh poor Ganyu. Even as you were talking, there was a small tent beneath her clothes. She was just so aroused and pent up, but even then she thought about your comforts rather than her own instincts and lust. When you told her how you would be more than willing to help her out, that was all Ganyu needed to hear before excitedly pouncing on you and pinning you down on the bed. Too excited to control her own strength.
Admittedly, Ganyu didn’t seem like the type of woman with a big size. You were wrong. The moment those robes came off, you were met with the sight of two, girthy, hemipenes. Not long at all, but very thick in circumference. You could barely wrap your fingers around them when you tried to give her a hand job, and poor Ganyu was in awe at how small human hands could be in comparison to a dragon’s size. She was terribly worried for your pussy when she realized just how small you were, but the huge difference in your size was one of the biggest factors in turning her on in the first place.
Oh, Ganyu was big. It took almost a half hour of prep but somehow she managed to squeeze both her cocks inside of you. One in your pussy and one up your ass. It was extremely uncomfortable at first, but Ganyu was (as always) super patient and understanding, almost immediately wanting to pull out the moment you showed signs of discomfort. When you wanted to carry on however, oh; she was so smitten. To see her human wife being so determined to take her two draconian cocks, wanting to make dear Ganyu feel the relief she’s been waiting for, oh it made her feel over the moon with how much she loved you…
After a few more minutes of praise and sweet kisses, Ganyu would start to move. She was so startled at how tight a human could be during the mating process, yet she wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t the least bit turned on. In fact, as she slowly began to move, your tight holes squeezing her so blissfully, Ganyu began letting out breathless moans before thrusting a bit faster into your body. Each push of her hips felt like heaven to you the more you got used to it, and soon you found yourself cumming over her cocks several times throughout the mating process.
When Ganyu finally reached her first climax, cum gushing through your womb, the seal of your mating ritual had finally appeared on your tummy. A sign that Ganyu was your forever mate, bound by your love, and the moment Ganyu saw that you had been claimed, she practically cried tears of joy. “You’re mine…you’re actually mine…!” She couldn’t help but laugh, leaning down to kiss your new womb tattoo. “Thank you for allowing me to be your wife, my human bride…”
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XIANYUN
A dragon of the sky, who lived high up in the mountains where no man lived, was a dragon that very few people have ever seen with their own two eyes. A mysterious yet elder dragon of the heavenly dragons, Xianyun was the one you were chosen to be a bride for, and waiting so high up the mountains for her arrival almost made you lightheaded with how little oxygen there was in the first place. Already stress-ridden with the thought of being a dragon’s bride on top of such low oxygen levels, you were on the verge of passing out while waiting for your wife, nearly toppling over if not for the gentle hands that cupped your face.
Upon feeling someone lift up your veil and caress your cheeks, you remember looking up and seeing a mature looking woman with piercing blue eyes. You were too weak to do anything, say anything even, but the moment you locked eyes on your dragon wife, she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your lips, breathing out a cold, whispery breath that brought air to your lungs. Now filled with the oxygen you needed, your wife wiped the tears from your face and let you rest against her, muttering under her breath. “Human mortals are such delicate creatures. Can’t even breathe properly when the altitude is high…”
Though it sounded condescending, Xianyun placed a kiss on your forehead and brought you into her domain. It was clear that despite her disdain for the humans of this mortal realm, she had a soft spot for the delicate beauty that was you. Her bride to be as she wanted to make sure that you were comfortable in her homeland above the mountains. She cared about you so much in fact, that even after kissing you to give you a spell that’ll allow you to breathe at high altitudes, Xianyun summoned an eternal wind current to regulate the oxygen levels of the mountain. All for you, and only you. 
Your dragon wife was a cold one. She gave off a blunt, almost bitter vibe that elderly women seemed to give off. Yet you knew she loved you underneath all that cold exterior, curling up around you with her long, lithe dragon body in bed, feeding you medicinal herbs whenever you got sick, and even bringing you with her on her travels by allowing you to ride her back as she flies. Although she didn’t show it much, you were her most precious lover, and throughout her immortal life, she has never been so infatuated with a human woman like you before…
It wasn’t long before the seasons changed, and your bond with Xianyun grew deeper. Though still somewhat cold and blunt, you saw her begin expressing more shows of affection. Wrapping her arms around you and stroking your thighs with her clawed fingers, you realized that Xianyun began getting more friskier than normal, something hard and firm pressing up against your rear whenever she hugged you from behind. She was not ashamed at the slightest, whispering under her breath into your ear, “My wife, I wish for a family of our own. As I am entering the mating season of this year, please give me the honor of breeding you with my kin.”
Ah, Xianyun. Only she can make something like asking for sex, very romantic yet awkward at the same time. Though you laughed at how she phrased her request at first, you gladly obliged and let the dragon woman take you to bed, letting her maturity and experience guide you for the mating process. Xianyun was no virgin, after all she was an immortal, however; she found your inexperience absolutely adorable, as she slowly stripped off all your clothes and took in the breathtaking sight of her human wife before her. 
She never found humans to be that pretty, but the sight of you was just too gorgeous to take in. Immediately once your clothes were off, Xianyun’s two lengths began to rise with need, erect and aroused with how vulnerable you looked under her gaze. You were just so…small. So small and cute under the shadow of her body, and Xianyun was eager to dig in. Breath hitching when she moved herself forward, sliding her cocks into you while groaning with pleasure.
Like her daughters, Xianyun was on the bigger side, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to take you all the way to the edge, gently massaging your hips as she slowly thrusted forward. She grumbled deeply about something like how she wanted you to bear her children, wanted to see your belly all pregnant with her hatchlings, it was just too much for you to bear and you found yourself gripping the older woman with need. 
Upon feeling your hands holding onto her so desperately, it was like a switch had been flipped in your wife. She immediately pushed you down into a mating press and began thrusting at an even faster pace, dragging the rigid veins of her cocks in and out of your hole(s), and making you melt in her arms from the overwhelming bliss. 
With one last growl, Xianyun slammed her hips further into you and pushed your knees up to meet with your stomach, filling your cunt with hot loads of her cum and making you bear the mark of Xianyun’s sigil. It burned in a way that felt pleasurable at your climax and the moment Xianyun spotted it, a smug smirk appeared on her face before stroking the lines of the mark with her claws. “Looks like this mortal body has accepted me as a suitable mate. I hope I have met your standards, my wife…”
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KOKOMI
Chained to a rock near the beach of the seas, you were left to be the bride of the divine sea serpent; Kokomi. Though she was a very gentle and understanding dragon to the people of Watatsumi Island, she was capable of forging wars with other dragons from different regions, making the oceans shake from how brutal her battles were. You were very much scared for your life to even meet such a strong beast, and as you were left chained to the rock, waiting for your future wife, you felt your heart rate spike when you saw the waves part ways for the legendary sea serpent to take what was hers.
Shimmering pearlescent scales with fins that waded through the water, Kokomi emerged in her sea serpent form at first, coursing to a stop when the water grew too shallow. She transformed into her human form to walk the rest of the way, her clothes nearly translucent, glittering under the sun’s rays as she slowly waded towards you with  a gentle look in her eyes. “Oh, you must be my bride,” she whispers softly, a curious yet amused tone taking on her voice. “What a very cute human…you’re even smaller than I imagined.” 
Even when she was a dragon, her voice was soft and gentle. She patted your head gently before tilting your head up to meet her gaze, dragons were always bigger than humans after all, even in their human forms. “No need to be so scared, it’s time to go home, my bride. I hope you have a strong grip.” She quickly slashes the shackles off of you and eases you onto her back, beginning to waft back out to the waves and transform into her sea serpent form while you clung to her neck for dear life. Kokomi was a very fast swimmer after all.
After the quick introduction to your future dragon wife, you found yourself living amongst Kokomi within a huge, hidden grotto that resided behind a waterfall. Life with Kokomi was…quite intriguing to say the least. Due to being a sea serpent and living near the water, it took some time for you to adjust from living on land, to living somewhere that was almost fully surrounded with water! Your diet mostly consisted of fish and other various seafoods that Kokomi managed to hunt, though if you were unable to eat any of them, it surprised you to say the least to see that Kokomi would go out of her way to buy human foods from a nearby market, in order to satisfy your needs. If you needed anything, literally anything at all, you didn’t even need to leave the safety of her lair, as Kokomi would do it for you. Even though she was considered a “higher deity” in Teyvat.
Life was peaceful with Kokomi as your wife. She made sure to spoil you with everything you could ever ask for, and soon you found yourself falling in love with the gentle sea serpent. As the months slowly passed by and your love only blossomed even further, you began to notice signs of Kokomi getting more antsy as the seasons changed. She’s told you about this before, about how dragons (specially sea serpents) enter a rut-like process once every few months, but you didn’t expect it so soon. Nevertheless, you were fully prepared to help your wife ease up all tensions and stress, and the two of you set out to prepare for your “love making” in a special place…
Clothes stripped off before you could reach the sacred grounds, Kokomi took you to a hidden lagoon where sea serpents often took their mates to claim them for the first time. Seeing that it was not occupied at the moment, Kokomi helped ease you into the warm waters of the lagoon, guiding you to the middle before pressing her agile, lithe body against yours, causing her two cocks to rub up against your thighs.
She cooed softly at you before planting kisses along your neck, admiring the way your soft, human skin felt underneath her own. Kokomi was entranced, massaging your thighs to get them to open up, before whispering in a hushed tone into your ear. “This might hurt, but I promise I’ll go slow…” giving you one last kiss before sliding herself inside of you…
By no means was Kokomi huge, but two cocks was two cocks and you felt yourself being stuffed to the brim. As she slowly sheathed herself inside of you all the way down to her base, Kokomi let out an exasperated gasp before gripping your hips tighter from behind. She was blushing madly from how good you felt, all tight and warm wrapped around her, and she was beginning to get delirious from just how good your holes were, gripping her so needily. 
Her thrusts were shallow, yet addictive. Pounding into you quietly as the water sloshed around you with her soft movements. This “dangerous” sea serpent that people had told you stories about was currently whimpering into your ears out of pure ecstasy. Trembling while she fucked you from behind, as trails of precum leaked from both her cockheads to further stimulate your senses. Thanks to being a sea serpent, her body was naturally very slippery and wet, so fucking you deeper and faster was no hard order for Kokomi to do. 
So many dirty, wet squelches filled the air alongside your moans of blissful pleasure. Kokomi was getting close, whining behind you before finally ejaculating her seed into your womb. At the sudden sensation of the sea serpent’s cum filling your crevices, the mark of Kokomi bore itself onto your stomach, causing your wife to smile with pride at how you easily accepted her as her “mate.” “Well would you look at that, it seems like it only took the first try for your body to recognize me as a suitable companion,” Kokomi chuckled. “Well, who says we should just stop here, my love? Raise your legs a bit higher, I want to breed you some more…”
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EI
Unlike the other dragons, Ei was a dragon that was given sacrifices every twelve years, not in exchange for good fortune or success, but so that she wouldn’t get angry and destroy the villages with her rage. The people in your region were deathly afraid of Ei for the sole reason that she could wipe out their entire population, so when she asked for a bride this year instead of the usual treasures they offered her, they basically sent you on a deathbed to meet your inevitable fate.
Knowing that you were sent to a brutal tyrant of a dragon to be her “bride,” you had accepted your death a long time ago. Waiting idly in front of the dragon’s lair, you braced yourself for a whole world of pain when you saw your “wife” begin to approach you. With tears streaming down your face from how terrified you were of dying, you nearly screamed when Ei suddenly lifted up your veil, eyes paralyzed with fear as you met the cold, dark eyes of your wife. When she raised her hand to get closer to your face, you expected a hard slap. However, what came in contact with your cheek was a soft, gentle touch that felt juxtaposing to how large and battle-stricken her hands were. 
Rough calluses was the first thing you felt against your cheek, and then the feeling of Ei’s large fingers wiping away your tear-ridden face. It was the complete opposite of what you had expected the dragon woman to do to you, but you were too afraid to comment on anything when she took you inside her lair to get you away from the cold. 
Life with a tyrannical dragon wife was very…unique, to say the least. She was not as sweet, or gentle as any of the other dragon women, but she showed how much she cared for you with acts of service rather than physical affection. Though quiet when expressing her love for you, Ei would always feed you the best and biggest portions of her hunt whenever you two sat down and ate together. Ei would make the thunderstorms quiet down when she saw that they were bothering you in your sleep, and she would even cease the storms entirely if that was what you wished. 
Not only that, but your dragon wife was fiercely protective over you. The other dragon women would be territorial, sure. But Ei was on a whole different level. Anything that threatened you, her bride, would be faced with the full wrath of one angry, tyrannical dragon wife, and the thing (or person) that threatened you in the first place, would be blasted to smithereens by her thunderous breath alone. Though she was very violent and quite scary at times whenever you witnessed her destruction, you knew she cared deeply about you and that’s really all that mattered. 
Alas, as the seasons changed, not even the stoic and tyrannical dragon was immune to the mating cycle that all dragons went through in a year. She tried to keep it to herself so you didn’t have to find out, but it was near impossible as Ei would constantly have a massive boner under her clothes, every time she woke up with you right next to her. Unable to take it anymore, she quietly requested for you to “mate” with her, in order to satisfy her instincts, and you being the sweet little wife that you were, agreed since you didn't want her to suffer on her own through such an intensive rut.
Ei was big. Like, very big when she first disrobed herself in front of you. Her tall stature was very lean, athletic, strong, and that corresponded with her dick size as well. Lean, tall, and strong. You found yourself salivating a bit when you saw just the sheer size of her, a bit intimidated, but very turned on to have her all to yourself. 
Your wife wanted to be gentle. She saw humans as the most fragile thing in the world, so when she lifted you up into her arms, your naked body pressing against hers, she blushed for the very first time, realizing just how big she was in comparison to you. At the recognized size difference, her two hemipenes twitched to life, erect and swollen to stuff themselves in your cunt, while poor Ei was left gaping at how turned on she was. With her strength alone, she slowly slid you down to fuck you in middair. Your legs dangled helplessly over her thighs as you whined from the burning stretch, a small bulge forming under the skin of your tummy from how engorged Ei was when fucking inside of you.
Eyes landing on the small belly bulge, you felt Ei growl with predatory instinct, keeping you held tightly against her while she pounded into your holes. Each thrust left you bouncing helplessly in the air, clinging to Ei’s broad shoulders while her cocks dragged their ribbed lengths in and out of you like a toy. The feeling of it was just too much, leading you to orgasm multiple times in just under an hour, and the wetter you got, the easier it was for Ei to go faster, harder, deeper. It was all too much for your small human cunt to handle, and the deeper she went, the more you clenched down.
It took a while, but when Ei finally reached her first climax, boy was it a big one. Your entire lower body shivered as she spurted ropes of hot cum deep into your womb, your legs trembling as she burned her way into your body with her seed, and making a large womb tattoo engrave itself on your skin. As the mark appeared, Ei showed signs of pride and ownership, growling under her breath before biting your neck lovingly to seal the deal. “Mine…” was all she said in that dark, husky tone of hers, as she continued to pound her way into you for another round of mating.
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stars-in-a-jam-jar · 2 months
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I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.
Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.
Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.
Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.
I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.
After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.
To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)
He can't be upset about this.
He shouldn't be upset about this.
This is his reward.
This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.
It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.
Look... look where that got her.
He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.
And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.
And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.
Kristen was promised to Helio, too.
And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.
He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.
I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'
(There's a part 2 now that the next ep is out >:3)
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headspace-hotel · 1 year
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I agree with the idea that a lot of humans nowadays have a severe lack of curiosity about the world, but I think there has to be a solution other than shame.
I think about this every day because the fate of our world hangs on curiosity: either we will rediscover the importance and wonders of the soil and bugs and flowers and water and finally with the whole natural world, or this way will be forgotten.
People raised in the great wasteland of the suburbs and roads and buildings have never seen most of the plants and creatures that are supposed to fill every field and meadow. So many humans have never seen with their own eyes more than a scant few of the most common of hundreds of wildflowers that are supposed to surround them. Some live in biomes designated forest and have never witnessed truly mature trees. They do not know what the birds sound like. When they see an ordinary deer, they are awed and amazed by it or even afraid of it. They have never eaten any of the delicious wild fruits that grow in their homeland; all birds except starlings and robins and sparrows are so strange and beautiful that they stare in wonder. They confront insects like people on an alien planet encountering an unknown life form: What is this? Will it hurt me?
I cannot even describe the grief I feel on behalf of humans that grow up and live in the wasteland of pavement and lawn. That we are expected to live in these brutal environments, that we are expected to be content without the right or ability to live alongside living creatures, to walk among wildflowers, to hear birdsong, to feel the plush softness of moss, to see even common bees and butterflies—the fact that we live, work, and raise our children in poisonous wastes where nearly everything has been wiped out, and the simplest and most abundant of natural pleasures are rare privileges—it's cruel. It's a crime against the human spirit. It makes me so angry and sad.
When I started researching plants, I had no idea that I would end up expanding my mind so much that I would be virtually a different person within the year. Before I learned, I could not have imagined the diversity and beauty that exists in the world. My mind did not have the tools to come up with it.
I lived for over twenty years believing that there was only one species of firefly. I lived for over twenty years not knowing that the Southeastern US has native bamboo. I had never tasted the indescribable flavor of a pawpaw or seen the iridescent vibrance of a red-spotted purple butterfly. I had only seen a Pileated Woodpecker out the window of a car. I had never touched true topsoil, the soft, living blanket of rich, sweet-smelling earth full of mycelium, as springy and plush as a mattress. Just one year ago, I knew nothing!
Humans, as creatures, are insatiably curious and hunger for beauty. It is so cruel to deprive a human of relationship with their natural environment.
It is no wonder that we are all addicted to the internet—we have a crucial need that is unfulfilled. Compared with a forest, the world of lawns and buildings is so ridiculously flat and unstimulating. You would expect humans in such a place to feel constantly bored, restless, frustrated, and incurably sad.
I feel that lack of curiosity can be a chosen thing, but it is also a defense mechanism against a world that will feel like sandpaper on the senses of the curious.
But we need curiosity to fix this—we need the ability to notice the living things that have crept in at the edges of the wasteland and be infected and tormented by their beauty. We need to recognize the forest reaching into our cage in the form of tiny saplings. We need to discard the word "weed," not because it is derogatory because it is fundamentally incurious—it designates a plant as needing no identity outside of its unwantedness. We must learn their names. We must wonder what their names are.
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perlelune · 2 months
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Oblivion | Paul Atreides
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There used to be beginnings and ends, nights and days, dream and reality, before the haze took over, swallowing every thought, every memory, every whisper of free will.
Warnings: NON-CON, Fremen Reader, Kynes!Reader, Mind Control, Memory Manipulation, Padishah Emperor Paul, Loss of Identity, Brainwashing, Mentions of war and religious fanaticism
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Muad’Dib leads the way. 
It is what the prophecy dictates. That he is the voice from the Outer World. The one who will lead your people to paradise. The one who will turn Dune’s arid desert lands into bountiful, endless green fields. 
But as your eyes rest on him, you do not see the chosen one. You do not see the Lisan Al-Ghaib. You see your friend Paul, broken, lost, his heart shattered into a million pieces due to your cousin’s absence. 
He sits at the head of his bed, shadows fluttering across his delicate features from the glowglobes’ dull orange light. Wide black rings surround his sunken blue eyes, the result of his daily consumption of spice melange. Lank, greasy brown curls hang around his handsome face. A pang twists your chest. He hasn’t slept in days, has barely gotten a full night of replenishing sleep since she left on a maker’s back.
You cannot blame your cousin. Paul’s ascendency to the Golden Lion throne came at a cost. A hefty one. Promises were broken. Trust was destroyed. Only time will repair the damage that was done. Though you carry faith the two of them will find their way back to each other. 
You stir the spice-coffee in the pot, straining the shimmering dark powder before pouring some in a cup. A spicy cinnamon smell coats the cool night air. 
You rise and bring the cup to him.
“For you, Usul.”
A soft smile blooms on his lips as he takes a slow, weary sip.
“You make it so well,” he praises.
You glow at the compliment, returning his smile. Your grandmother used to show you and Chani how to blend coffee beans with spice and herbs. The knowledge never left you. Now, every time you feel troubled or upset, you make a fresh kettleful. A single sip of the familiar brew is enough to alleviate your frazzled nerves. Especially here, so far away from Sietch Tabr, between the strange stone walls of the Arrakeen Keep, you have craved little reminders of home more than ever before.
Fremen belong in the desert, not in peculiar tents made of marble and stone.
Paul’s brows crumple as he studies you. 
“You don’t have to take care of me,” he says.
“I can get another Fremen-”
His fingers latch around your wrist, desperation sizzling under his touch. 
“I prefer it to be you.” He sighs. A bone deep fatigue radiates from the sound. You halt in your tracks. You suppose you could stay a while longer. “Please, stay, your presence soothes me.”
You nod. “I’ll stay, Muad’Dib.”
Relief falls over his features. 
The doors suddenly open, the guards stepping aside to let Stilgar in. He bows to Paul.
“Lisan Al-Ghaib…”
Your friend’s mouth flattens into a thin line. 
“I told you to stop calling me that.”
Stilgar acquiesces. He will never stop addressing Paul with reverence and admiration. None of his followers believes in him more. At times, it scares you a little. While you share the same faith, the fervor with which every Fedaykin is willing to lay their swords in his name can be frightening. Sometimes you wonder if Chani was right. How much will it take to liberate your world? How much blood will require spilling? You’re not completely naive. No war was ever won without a few casualties. Still, part of you hopes the war will end soon and peaceful times will come.
“No sign of her?” Paul asks. 
A contrite expression tugs the older man’s face.
“Apologies, my liege. We scouted the Southern regions this time. We couldn’t find her. She knows the desert well. It is home to us Fremen. She will not be found…”
“...Unless she wants to be found,” you finish, grabbing the empty cup from Paul’s hands and placing it back on the table.
The faint embers of hope in Paul’s cobalt gaze flicker out. Your heart sinks, for both you and him. Though you do not wish to burden him, you miss your cousin too. Her practicality and common sense. Her strength. Without her, a piece of you is missing. A crucial one. Your mother died in childbirth and your father in battle, so both of you grew up together, close enough in age to share secrets and play together for most of your childhood. 
It was Chani who taught you how to summon a worm and ride upon its back for the first time. She is the sister tragic circumstances blessed you with.
Stilgar apologizes profusely once more before taking his leave.
As soon as he’s gone, Paul’s shoulders slump.
“She hates me.” 
You crouch beside him.
“She doesn’t hate you. She never could. She is your quiet in the storm, and you are hers. She will return when she is ready.”
A wry laugh escapes his lips. 
“I have Irulan, my beloved wife, who is likely plotting my demise as we speak. Qizarate missionaries pressing me to take action and purge the non-believers on Aldinor. I am surrounded by foes, everywhere I look.” That distant expression he gets whenever his visions haunt him touches his face. “Blades pointed at my neck at all times, waiting for a sign of weakness to strike.”
You grab his hand, reassuring him, “You also have friends, Usul, who believe in your cause.”
“Fanatics,” he corrects bitterly. 
Your chest swells with worry. You don’t like it when he questions himself as such. His cause is right. He freed Arrakis from the Harkonnen’s iron-fisted rule. He will bring peace to every world in the universe. It is written. It’s the only path forward.
“You are not alone.” His fingers squeeze around yours. Warmth rushes to your face, the realization that you’re awfully close to the Emperor striking you. You adjust the nezhoni scarf covering your hair and rise. “I shall let you rest, my Lord.”
“Stay, please.”
His tone is beseeching. Your gaze swings to the window. There, moon beams pierce through the colorful glass, scattering rainbow splashes of light across the floor. Vibrant stars pepper the dark sky, pearls lost in a sea of ink. It’s pitch black outside. You should be in your own room. Not his.
“Muad’Dib, it’s late…”
His grip on your hand tightens. When he speaks again, his tone is different. Disembodied. Powerful. Its tantalizing echo drips inside your head like honey. 
“Stay,” he mumbles. You plop down on the bed, your body moving on its own, driven by the strange, irresistible thrall of Paul’s voice.
“Usul…” 
He cups your cheeks. 
“Sleep beside me tonight.”
“I’m not her.”
“I don’t want you to be.”
“She should be with me and she isn’t. But you are.” His inflection becomes soft and inviting as he drinks you in. As if he were lumbering through the desert, parched and desperate, and you were a well overflowing with fresh water. “You are beautiful. I never noticed before.” He pauses, tracing your bottom lip. “Perhaps I should have.”
You blink, dazed. When did Paul’s face get so close to yours? You can outline each of his long lashes, the speckles of green lingering in his blue eyes. 
“Paul-”
His mouth grazes yours, his thumb stroking your cheeks. It only lasts a few seconds. The warm plushness of his lips on yours yanks you back to reality. You gasp and flinch back. When you recoil, his silky tone fills your ears once more.
“Don’t fight it. You love me, remember?”
A confused whisper slips through your lips. Two parts of your mind wrestle with Paul’s words. 
“I do?”
His eyes dive into yours.
“Of course, you do.”
“Of course I do,” you repeat, his tone nudging aside the doubts lurking inside your mind. 
A bright smile unfurls on his lips, his lids sagging to half-mast.
“It’s like you said before. You are my quiet in the storm and I am yours.”
Right. You uttered those very same words. How could you forget?
You are Paul’s quiet in the storm. He is yours.
His mouth covers yours. It moves slowly against your own. He explores your mouth as he cradles your face. His long lashes fall over his cheekbones as he loses himself in your taste. He hums against your lips, gentle fingers touching your face. You don’t move, eyes half-open as you let it happen. It’s foreign, the sensation of Paul’s lips on yours. Foreign and strange yet you can’t help but numbly accept it. 
Once he frees your lips, he rests his forehead against yours. 
“Come into my arms, my love,” he says.
You don’t resist as he pulls you into his embrace, nudging you onto the bed. Soft strands of Paul’s brown mane brush against your cheek as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your spice-coated scent. 
His arms circle your waist. Your back melds against his chest, the warmth of your bodies mingling through the thin layers of your clothes. 
“You smell so good,” he mutters. Your scarf shifts when he rubs his face against it. “Don’t ever leave me.”
When you don’t reply, his tone gets firmer. “Promise it.”
The words roll off your tongue easily.
“I won’t ever leave you, Paul.”
Tension leaks out of his tightly coiled muscles. 
“Good,” he says, drifting off to sleep quickly with you nestled in his snug embrace. 
You fall asleep too, no thoughts in your head, Paul’s soft snores lulling you into peaceful slumber. 
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You awake with a start, the stark unfamiliarity of the palatial chambers you find yourself in causing your pulse to soar. Your eyes dart about the room. Recognition hits you. These are the Emperor’s apartments.
Your eyes grow wide. You’re not supposed to be here. Panic sets in.
“W-What am I doing here?”
Paul’s quiet voice flows across your back.
“Calm down.”
“No. I shouldn’t be here…”
You start crawling off the bed but Paul’s fingers around your wrist impede your departure. 
He holds your face, vibrant blue eyes locking with yours. You find yourself incapable of looking away, ensnared by his unflinching focus.
“I said, Calm down.”
The alarms ringing inside your head fall quiet. You lean into Paul’s touch. What were you doing? What were you thinking? Every thought you attempt to grasp at evaporates in the heat of Muad’Dib’s stare. 
“There. Much better,” he coos, satisfaction hovering on his handsome face. His voice sinks into a sensual whisper. “Why don’t you kneel for me?”
You do as he instructs. Then all fades to black as quicksands of confusion engulf your thoughts. 
When you return to yourself, you aren’t on the bed anymore, but on your knees on the carpeted floor. 
Paul is looming over you, grunting, his throat bobbing. One of his hands is curled around your nape while the other is under your jaw. 
You note the saltiness coating your tongue, the drool on your chin, the soreness in the back of your throat. 
You choke on his length, air wavering inside your lungs. 
Paul’s cock is in your mouth. 
The sick, awful realization tumbles over you like a bag of stones. 
Muffled moans leave you as you lift pleading eyes towards him.
You place your hands on his thighs, shoving with all your strength. 
Paul doesn’t let you move. He cradles your face and thrusts inside your mouth until his balls are pressed into your chin. 
Clouds of lust obscure his gaze as it falls upon you. 
He caresses your face, dragging his cock out before pushing it inside your mouth again. Gurgled sounds leave your throat. Tears skip down your cheeks and you wonder when you’ve started crying. 
Fremen do not cry. Ever. Even for the dead. It is a rare, sacred act.
Paul wipes them off your face with his thumbs. 
“You love me. It is what lovers do,” he says matter-of-factly.
Your body relaxes. 
Right. Of course. You love him. It is what lovers do. 
You hollow your cheeks and suck him off. He unleashes a throaty sigh of delight as you pleasure him with your mouth. 
When his seed drips down your tongue, he coaxes you not to waste a single drop. You swallow all of it, showing no resistance when he nudges a stray drop between your wet lips. 
Several days in a row, you awake in the emperor’s chambers. At first, you experience great confusion. However, Paul’s soothing words always quell your rising panic. It becomes all you know. The Emperor’s mesmerizing voice. His large, soft bed. His ceaseless, ravenous touch. 
Sweaty, tangled limbs melting in lewd harmony.
You stop questioning it. Even the strange lapses of time when you are in one room and mysteriously wind up in another. It isn’t rare for you to wake up with the Emperor’s head bobbing between your thighs, greedily lapping at your folds, or with your hips grinding into his as he impales you on his cock. 
It is where you belong. And you believe him when he says that, mumbling loving promises into your ear in the dead of night.
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“If we do not strike fast and hard, they will not accept your rule,” Stilgar says. 
“They worship a false god. We are doing them a favor,” another man sitting at the table interjects. 
A shaky exhale flows from your tongue. You look around, dismay filling you when you realize you’re in Paul’s war room amidst a council meeting. Your head throbs. How did you get here?
You rise from your chair. Bemused gazes land on you. 
Princess Irulan snickers from her seat.
“Husband, your concubine is acting strange,” she sneers.
Concubine? You step away from the table.
You blink several times as you stumble outside. You grip your temples, your forehead scrunching. That cannot be right. Is it? 
You are no one’s concubine. 
You are…
You are…
Adrenaline pumps through your blood as your head buzzes. 
The answer will not come, your mind keeping it under firm lock and key.
Frustration mounts within you. You blindly waddle around.
You end up in a room that bears vague familiarity. You lean against a basin full of water. Water…just lying around. That seems strange.
Your eyes land on a mirror on the opposite wall. The reflection in the glass has your heart rate spiking. Who is this?
You bolt to your feet, the water in the basin splashing around your feet. 
Your tremulous fingers rise to your face, horror filling you when the woman in the mirror mimicks your exact motions. 
Your gaze travels across the wide, open space. Quick breaths rush from your throat. The Emperor’s room. Why did you think it was your room? 
You stagger backwards. You gasp as you bump into a solid form.
You whirl, eyes widening.
“Paul.”
He gauges you, slight concern etched in his blue eyes. Relief fills you as you soak in his boyish, slender features, much more familiar than those of the stranger in the mirror. 
You know Paul. Muad’Dib. Paul is familiar, safe. You trust him. He will tell you who you are.
“Yes, my love?”
“Paul, who am I?”
A displeased frown settles on his brow. He approaches you and grabs your face. His expression hardens.
“You are mine. Nothing else matters.”
“But Paul-”
Your protests are stifled by the feverish press of his lips on yours. A fog surrounds your thoughts as his kiss grows more passionate, his hands sweeping over your curves. You place your hand on his chest, pushing feebly.  
“Forget it. Forget it all, beloved,” he mumbles against your lips. You sag against him. You drown in Paul’s blue eyes, time stretching beyond eternity. 
When you gain a semblance of awareness, your naked form is writhing above Paul’s. Your palms are spread over his lithe muscles, your hips moving as he slams his cock into your cunt repetitively. Paul bites his lip, his gaze glued to the sight of his length disappearing between your wet folds. 
When did you get on the bed? When did you shed your clothes?
Every inquiry melts in the heat swirling across your damp flesh. 
Your lashes flutter as you unleash a broken whimper, Paul’s hard length touching you in places that send electricity rippling through your spine.
You tighten around him and he purrs. 
“Remember nothing but my name,” he rasps, clutching your hips possessively. He impales you on his length, thrusting faster. You choke on your breath, his quickening pace driving you wild.
You brace yourself on his chest and lose yourself in the pleasure, your breath hitching each time he pounds into you.
The filthy sounds of your coupling fill the room, bouncing off the stone walls. Paul’s deep, animalistic moans. Your soft, desperate whimpers. The blunt, wet sounds your cunt makes as he buries himself inside you. The bed rattling and squeaking under your writhing forms.
“Paul, Paul…” you pant as you bounce on his cock. An intensity ignites his eyes as his name falls from your tongue like a prayer. You toss your head back, voice dying in your throat as another wave of pleasure crashes over you. Your toes flex. You tremble, your body jolting as your slick walls flutter around his length. A husky moan leaves him. He twitches inside you. His back lifts from the sheets, his body tensing as he hits his peak too. Slick warmth spills from his tip, glazing your walls. 
An errant sliver of panic lurks inside your brain. Your eyes bulge as you glance down at where your body and Paul’s are conjoined. Rapid breaths burst from your chest.
Seeming to sense your distress, he shoves your hips back down when you try to squirm away.
His authoritative voice booms across the room, unnatural, multiplied. Everywhere at once. 
“Do not move, beloved. Let me fill you up. Make you mine in every way.”
Your breaths settle down. Your worries disappear. You look into Paul’s loving gaze. A smile unfans on his lips as you ride him with abandon again.
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“What are you doing?”
You pivot at the abrupt sound of Paul’s voice. You pause above the bag you’re packing. You peer at him, mulling over an appropriate answer to his question. You do not find one. You only know that you stirred awake that morning, feeling strange, sore…Lost. The urge to collect your meager belongings and leave the Arrakeen Keep seared inside you since then. A hollow, distant voice rings inside your head.
Return to Sietch Tabr.
“I have to go. Something…Something isn’t feeling right.”
The muscles of Paul’s jaw flare, his tone as ice as he states, “You want to leave me.”
Discarding your bag, you rush to him. You take his hands in yours.
“No. I made you a promise. I just need time to think…I can’t think anymore, Paul.”
It’s true. Every day feels like trudging through a Coriolis storm, your thoughts scattering as dust in the wind the minute they form.
Everything that was solid before is now sand slipping through your fingers.
Paul’s gaze corrals yours.
“You don’t need to,” he says, gripping your face. His tone dips to a soft lilt that penetrates your senses. “Who are you?”
You search his eyes. A breeze blows away every single doubt you had.
The answer to every inquiry you had is right there. In Paul’s fond stare.
The persistent little voice in your head, that pesky plea begging to be heard suddenly falls quiet. The truth echoes in your head, Paul’s powerful voice filling your mind.
You are right where you belong. 
“I’m yours,” you utter with certainty.
His face softens. “That is correct, my love,” he says, stroking your cheek.
“Now, why don’t you settle down, beloved?” You let him escort you to the bed, coaxing you to take a seat on the sheets. “Agitating yourself as such isn’t good for you.”
He sinks to the floor and drops a gentle kiss over your round belly.
“And it’s not good for the baby either.”
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