#tbh i only would if i were in on my own

[dustyfairywings]

So you know how Takayoshi gifted Akemi two songbirds in a cage together as a sincere apology for his mother?

I think those two birds are meant to symbolize both Akemi and Takayoshi. They are both marginalized in some way despite their privilege. Akemi as the daughter of a lord and Takayoshi as the disabled second son of the shogun are both denied agency in their roles despite their privilege. Takayoshi and Akemi both are song birds in a gilded cage. Two pawns to the political and social machinations of their parents. Akemi a victim to her father’s political aspirations and Takayoshi evidently a victim to his mother’s social manipulations.

(Aside: and possibly emotional abuse/neglect, with the way he was forbidden from speaking to women and who knows what actually happened to this first wife. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that it seems to me like this is all in service of maintaining a “respectable” image of the family, and cannot risk having people know he has a stutter. just spitballing here)

If I were to make a prediction for season 2, or a wish, it’s that I would like to see Akemi and Takayoshi form a genuine bond and alliance as two privileged-yet-marginalized individuals having to navigate a politically fraught and rigidly hierarchical society, and I think there’s at least some textual evidence to support this being a real possibility.

They demonstrate in the show Takayoshi is no fool and that he’s clearly an educated and well-read man. Take how he engages with Akemi’s poetry during sex compared to Taigen as an example. He simply has a disability and is somewhat submissive and subdued (likely due to being shamed or ridiculed for his stutter and getting little to no support as a child). They are capable of being intellectual equals. Any sort of power or control Akemi would gain over Takayoshi is by virtue of the kindness and empathy she is showing him, not because she’s outsmarting him. I believe Takayoshi is willingly surrendering himself to his wife and cognizant of this fact.

I think we may see a dynamic where Akemi will both advocate for her own political ends but also at times advocate for and try to protect her husband where she can where familial and interpersonal relationships are involved. I really really hope their union will be one that grows in political power through the healing power of love, compassion, and solidarity between two marginalized individuals.

They can acknowledge the humanity in each other and see each other as equals in their shared pain and victimization, and find empowerment through each other. If they cannot be their own masters at least they can be each other’s sole masters.

Takayoshi and Akemi may be two songbirds stuck in a gilded cage, stripped of their freedom and humanity. But they at least have each other and together they can harmonize.

#ramblogging #blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #takayoshi blue eye samurai #im convinced takayoshi’s gift of two birds is a symbol of his sincere willingess to build an emotional and political alliance with akemi #a recognition of their status as equals on some level #namely being marginalized #suddenly have the urge to draw akemi and takayoshi sitting together on a swing inside a bird cage #looking somber in bird-like kimono #i think people only see akemi as manipulating takayoshi #but tbh i think takayoshi might be a bit like her willing participant #well as willing as you can be when your choices are manipulative loving wife vs manipulative bitch mother #and akemi hasnt shown herself to be so utterly heartless that she would manipulate takayoshi against his own interests? #akemi has regularly shown concern and empathy for others #second to her freedom i think akemi wants nothing more but to genuinely connect with others #akemi would not be happy with herself nor would she be satisfied if her kindneds towards takayoshi were only skin deep #anyway that’s my 2 cents

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but #i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries #and it just made me miss it so much #+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore #like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that #but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too #so i'm kind of at a loss here #tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up #i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know? #like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right #i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries #that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way #aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea...... #i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3) #but yeah..there's that #also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while #like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that #but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut #ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there #do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer? #yeah... #that's essentially how it feels like to me #and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha..... #but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here #that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this #longing feeling to start again lol #hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up? #would you also *show* that you care? #i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol) #anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows

[eonars]

um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing

#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school. #what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this #when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it #tbf like all that other shit up there aside #this did actually come at the perfect time #i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person #i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was #in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while #kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before #and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters #even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity #and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell #so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone #and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore #im the most ready ive ever been #2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit! #im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement #entirely on my own #like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog #i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then #im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now #anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself #but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years #became a stable genius as it were #whos a lot more clearly defined and present #but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid

[frostfairysteve]

which one do you like more: ftm steve or mtf steve? or the special third option oOoOo

The secret third option is that I love femme Steve the most, be it ftm!Steve realising it doesn't make him less of a man to enjoy femininity, nb!Steve finding themselves, or mtf!Steve realising that she doesn't have to be "Steve Harrington" if she doesn't want to, and she doesn't.

I do think that there isn't enough amab representation in any fandom spaces, so while I as a ftm person do love seeing ftm!Steve, it's not my preferred way to go for my own ideas.

#uploxy #my answered letters #steve harrington #i'm trying to remember my own aus but i think steve's eddies is my only ftm!steve one and that's because it wouldn't work otherwise #tbh unless i specify otherwise all my steves should be read as genderqueer #thank you for the question btw! #i feel so awkward using amab/afab/mtf/ftm because that's not how i would want to be talked about. #it's putting too much weight on how my body looks/what it looked like before. which isn't who i am. a person is more than their flesh #with that said i do get how those terms help people. they were helpful to me when i was new to being trans and knew nothing #and they make it easier if you're looking for something specific on a site with a tag system

[mamawasatesttube]

What are ur thoughts abt Match? Do you think Kon could’ve found another brother in him?

OOOF honestly yes and no. i think kon would have absolutely been open to it (he was reaching out from the start, telling match they didn't have to fight and all), but match has... a LOT of issues he'd need to work through, both about himself in general and about kon specifically (like, all the stated issues, and then on top of it, i can't imagine replacing someone in a group of their friends for an extended amount of time makes you like that person. see also: thad and bart) before they'd get anywhere.

THAT SAID i haven't actually read any of the like. suicide squad match stuff or anything. so idk if they addressed any of those feelings somewhere or something!! i might go look into it later at some point just to see. but yeah i mean they def could have a v interesting relationship!!

actually now that youve got me thinking about it. peak comedy would be kon desperately like no guys i get it he's going through a lot guys give him a chance :( while match is like i don't WANT to be friends with you or your friends (kinda lying) >:( and tim cassie and bart, protective gatekeepers that they are, are just throwing tomatoes. boooo!! we hate your pussy!! boooo!!!!

#like i do think theyd be capable of extending kindness and understanding to him if he showed any receptiveness #but i Dont think theyd be willing to forgive that easily + offer *friendship* #not that its impossible! but it'd take time. and there would have to be effort on both sides #tbh match needs his own set of friends that were never kons friends first anyway #but yeah i Do think kon and match could have suuuch an interesting relationship. pity it was kept to EVIL CLONE WHO HATES MY ASS only #kon #match #answers

[adventures-in-re]

i ought to make a list of all the different dialogue changes that happen in last legacy as a result of whether or not the "upright" variable is true or false, comparing the dialogue differences (and being able to see from the code for a fact that it's an upright/reversed thing and not just a change based on some other variable) really gives some interesting insight into how the game might have ended, if it had continued

#i have a lot of speculations for where it might have gone if it had continued based on such things #but i try to keep my speculations and Opinions to myself on this particular blog #bc this blog is moreso for preservation than for sharing my Opinions #but i can share what i know from the code and let other people have their own speculations #tbh even if i were to share my own speculations #if i'm being honest i do not... have a particularly high opinion of the last legacy writers #and i think it's likely my predictions could be wrong. #if only because i don't really trust the writers would have done things that made sense. lol #but that's neither here nor there

[enden-k]

how are we doing fellow zhongxiao shippers, xiao really said “i will sacrifice myself so all of you can leave” and zhongli literally just went “no. you will not as long as i am here”

is he smiling a tiny bit or am i imagining it omg

#long post im emotional and need to save it somewhere shh #2.7 spoilers #as soon as zhongli popped up in the flashback i knew he would save him theres no way he would ever let xiao die #zhongxiao #myountalk #'fellow zhongxiao shippers' i think im the only one here on tumblr or smth tbh HAHAH #why does twt have to be so annoying 90% of time ahjscb id just ramble over there with the ppl if it were possible #sighs whatever anw #this cutscene gave me all the life back i lost just today (absolute worst shit day eugh) and re #REMINDED me how dear this ship is to me ahhh i wish i could post and ramble more about them #...i just should tbh.... this is my blog i get to do what i want AHHA #genshin tag #own

[fluffypotatey]

This is random but how do you think the knights would react to finding out about Will?

Like, Will is supposedly a sorcerer who died for Arthur yet Arthur still calls people like him evil to Merlin's face.

I feel like a couple of them would be very salty about that. What are your thoughts?

hmmmm

well firstly, i think Lancelot would find a way to speak to Merlin in private and actually help the dude mourn for his friend.

Gwaine, i think, would probably do something similar, like be Merlin's shoulder to cry on whenever it's Will's anniversary or birthday. his own thoughts on magic (as far as i'm aware) is very vague, like sure, he'll fight magical creatures and evil sorcerers but idk if he's someone who believes all magic is evil. so, if questioned on why he would honor a "sorcerer" like Will, he'd probably reply "so? he was Merlin's friend, and Merlin's never been one to befriend enemies"

Leon could feel pretty conflicted because camelot's ideals are all he's known. he was born in Uther's court and is the only one who was a knight for Uther and Arthur. if anything, i think Leon chooses to stay far away whenever Will is brought up in conversation.

Percival is actually the most neutral, i think, when it comes to this. one, he never knew Will. two, he wasn't raised in camelot. and three, most of his information comes from his friends about Will. tbh, he's probably the mediator when the topic comes up.

idk about Elyan tho. he left home to make his mark on the world and who knows the kind of people he ran into (magical or not, good or bad, morally gray or black and white). then he comes back home and learns that his father was executed for treason because he housed a man who wielded magic without his knowledge, leaving his dear sister alone and heartbroken.

who is he mad at? is he upset at the sorcerer who took advantage of his father's kindness? is he upset at uther, blinded by anger and paranoia, who didn't even bother to listen to his father's side of the story?

i think out of all the knights, it is Elyan who understands that Will was a man who cared for his friend and his home and despite the consequences, was willing to risk it all to help defeat the bandits terrorizing his home. Elyan looks at Merlin and how his face goes slack at the thought of his childhood friend, and understands that in the grand scheme of things, Will's life was a victim to this decade long trist against an intangible enemy.

#or i could just be projecting my own headcanons #but hey that's what they're for #tbh i don't think merlin even talks about will unless you were gwen or lancelot #like you have to be a level 600 friend to unlock THAT #also about the knight's reactions or thoughts on how arthur reacted insensitively to merlin's friend i think there might be some conflicted #feelings about that. bc this was someone merlin knew since...forever #sorcerer or no his death is going to greatly affect him and reminding merlin about the evils of magic is NOT helpful at all #(of course will wasn't a sorcerer and it was merlin who will was covering which just added to merlin's grief but that's not the point) #i think lancelot and gwaine would be the ones who might admonish arthur in like a 'stop putting your foot in your mouth and let him grieve' #kind of way bc they know that before he can even understand why merlin grieves he is going to have to unlearn a lot of prejudices #but yeah #my only problem with this is because since the knights are kind of pushed back in s4 and s5 we don't really get a true sense on their #thoughts about magic. just that they're loyal to arthur and that's it #anyone else is free to add their thoughts about this #bbc merlin #knights of the round table #sir leon #sir lancelot #lancelot #sir gwaine #gwaine #sir percival #sir elyan #elyan #merlin #merlin emrys #headcanons

[redysetdare]

Y'know, I'm starting the loathe the people who respond to things with "Why can't we have both" because in some cases it reads as ignoring the main point of a post, which is the fact that WE DON'T HAVE BOTH. Asking for one does not ever mean asking for the other to disappear. It usually IS asking for both and people only commenting on how "Why can't we have both" sound ignorant at best and dismissive at worse. Like, We cannot "have both" because no one is letting us talk about how we should have other options.

I've seen this multiple time on aspec people's posts about there being more X content or representation or spaces only for the replies and reblogs to be full of "Why can't we have both???" like... bro read the fucking post that is what the OP is saying. They are saying "Hey we should also have more spaces/rep/content for X" they never say "Y shouldn't get anything anymore"

#text #I've seen responses like this on my own posts too #and it's driving me nuts becuz it's like these people realize that I AM ASKING FOR BOTH #I'm saying Hey it would be nice to see more of X instead of only seeing Y #and they're like 'why not both! both x and y and coexist' like yes i know that's why i asked for more of X and didnt say we shouldn't have #tbh this is just a nitpicky thing #but to me when i read 'why not both' in response to a post it makes me feel that the person either #1. didn't read the post at all and just saw some keywords and decided they knew what it meant from that n that alone #or 2. they did read the post but took it in the most bad faith possible and felt threatened possibly because they were in group Y

[bisaster-energy]

sometimes you have to kill your dad because as long as he's alive you can't breathe

#im not in danger i just need to bloody my knuckles with his face #i wasn't given the privilege of teenage rebellion. all my older sisters got to do it #break away from our parents' control and tbh neglect and verbal abuse and do their own thing #and now they can talk to them more normally. they dont just bend to our dad's will #if they dont like something he's saying they can just leave bc while they were away from home they learned how to do that #i missed my chance i guess #i went from obedient child to obedient teen to obedient adult and i can never leave #because im the only one that can fucking deal with his shit by suppressing every negative emotion i have around him #even then it's not enough. i have to agree with him not just listen to what he has to say. im sick with rage #but he's only ever seen me smile because other emotions would just prove to him that women are overly emotional and illogical #i was kept on a leash maybe a little tighter than the others because the ones that came before left when the door was left open #ive never felt more like a dog than when im with my father

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

tiny kittens.

you agree.

reblog.

(via Etheridge House Fosters on fb)

#cats #kittens #cute #cat #mama cat #kitten #i want to put my face into this pile of kittens #im soooooooo glad they're based in tx usa otherwise i would be way too tempted to adopt cats from them way too often #this is p much the only thing i still go on fb for tbh #cries bc babies #their liddol faces. so stoopid #they r still at useless sausage stage of kitten #give it a week or two and they'll progress into trying to walk stage #another week and they'll be little terrors #i miss when my kittens were smol #they r full grown cats now almost oldies #i need a tag for my own rambles

[millenari]

Ive been going through a really rough time rn, and i am gonna be completely honest: Gold Rush is one of the only things keeping me going. Every Wed and Sat i keep refreshing around the same time you usually update, and seeing 'next chapter' pop up makes me so happy.

Then it hit me: how much this fic really means to me. Its really helping me take things one day at a time, which is difficult in my situation. This fic is literally like, the one good thing in my life rn. So, thank you. To some it may be a fun fic. But to me, its a reason to keep going and not give up.

:) I'm so happy my little fic can be of so much help

#thank you for sending this anon it means a lot #esp bc I've had my fair share of fics that were basically the only thing i looked forward to in my life #especially during high school- and so many of them i never really commented on or even spoke to the author #gold rush is the first fic ive ever posted publicly (its the only piece of long fiction ive ever even finished tbh)-- #--& when i finished it i had thought that it would probably get little/no attention bc the cats fandom is relatively small and inactive #but tbh i was fine with the idea of just posting it into the ether bc i knew from my own experiences that theres always *someone* who-- #--appreciates it even if they never say anything #and i kind of figured it as my way of paying my own experiences with those fics forward #so it makes me really happy to hear my silly lil fic has helped people in exactly the way i kind of hoped it would <3 #cats fan on main #gold rush fic

[monster42069]

Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD

#… #I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily. #TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes…. #well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug #dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues. #the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues. #the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol #it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos. #they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work #and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together #in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah #now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it #and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u #a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me. #that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or #like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty. #anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk #because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.

[ningtual]

can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....

#we agreed to make it fair by drawing lots for it #but i ended up suggesting to use the spinning wheel generator so that it's really up to luck #and i can't believe i shot myself in my own foot with this bc she actually got the big room #even though in the beginning of the year i asked if i could have it when the other roommate moves out #(we knew for a while that she'd move out in summer) #but then my roommate asked if we could draw lots maybe and i said yes bc i didn't wanna be an asshole 😭 #but now she actually got the big room and now i kinda regret not putting my foot down and claiming it #bc on my side everyone told me i could just say that i've been in the flatshare the longest and therefore i could claim the room #but idk i wanted to be nice and look where it got me #it's not the end of the world bc my current room is still nice it's just the smallest #but i'm really complaining abt nothing ig #at least i'm saving money on rent 😅 #but the big room would have been saur nice tbh.... #and the fact that my windows still fave the balcony and now the roommate who constantly invites friends over has the balcony ......... #you see where i'm getting at 😵‍💫 #let's hope i'll get some good sleep the next few week before it's too cold to be on the balcony CJSJCHS #but yeah with her friends working against me i also mean that a lot of them smoke so apparently they told her that she should get the room #bc she smokes and has friends that smoke as if i am not worthy of a balcony bc i don't smoke like 🫠 #idk i felt like i was the only nice on in the scenario who was willing to play fair even though i didn't have to and her friends were still #lowkey pissing on my leg behind my back yk #she was nice about it but her friends get the side eye from me abt the whole thing 😶 #sorry for the rant #delete later #000

[shadowedvales-a]

teresa delaney ives and janessa alexandra ives ,

❛❛ mom, it's me your daughter, calling to you from afar. a fish stuck out of waters, reaching out across the stars. buried in these pages there's a way into your arms. open up, let's take a ride, to see you on the other side. all the pain will fade and we'll be one. ❜❜

#⅋. [ ✦ ] ﹕ is this the end you meant for me ‚ visage . #⅋. [ ✦ ] ﹕ if only angels could prevail / we'd be the way we were ‚ teresa ives . #q. #no cause charlotte ritchie does have mia sara (older jane's) face shape #i use charlotte solely from ghosts. tbh i'll use her in anything except for you season 4 #they put so much make up on her it totally took away from her natural beauty look! in my opinion #also we are deciding to collectively ignore the quality of terry over there #i downloaded all the ghosts eps but when trying to put psds on it goes a bit bleh #but i love her too much as terry to give her up for someone with better quality :') #thinking about those failed lawsuits against brenner. and the way terry would just sit at the table #becky serving her a cup of tea #and just stare at it blankly. not understanding why this happened to her #(before she decides to take matters into her own hands)

[imminent-danger-came]

Honestly, if Sarai actually knew to ask all the right questions about Dark Magic, that almost makes it worse that she went along with it anyway. She said all the ways that DM was bad then went along with it and said "oh well, gotta support my husband, y'know?" If Callum did that, people would be raking him over the coals for all time.

GIRL. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE.

#raking him over the coals #tbh I support Callum's dark magic use. if it were my family I would do the same thing #HOWEVER. Would I have studied dark magic? No. And I couldn't do anything more than a snake or a bug. #But it definitely is tricky deciding when the value of life starts/starts to equal your own. ESPECIALLY in Xadia #where a lot of magical creatures are sentient and do deserve to be treated with respect #And not like a thing to glean parts from #God. ''makes it worse'' you mean makes it more interesting #Like she's the one to make the final blow on the titan #Like yeah man. She went along with her husband and saved 100000 lives at the cost of her own. #Because dark magic is all about consequences #And those consequences are fun to think about. #like sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. and you still have to choose #Dark magic isn't good. the other options weren't good either. #LIKE COME ON MAN #THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT #Just because I think Callum made a bad choice doesn't mean I think he made the wrong one #anyways thanks for the birthday present. I love ranting about tdp and it's trolley problems #asks