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blaintism · 1 year

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this morning i decided to rank every episode in which blaine appears or is mentioned by the merit of their blaine content. because, i don't know, i'm very neurodivergent or something. so here is, in my opinion, the best to worst blaine episodes:

1. 3x15 “Big Brother”: has a micro celebrity older brother, gets very upset about everyone pointing at him, skips skip day, gets a stuffed animal from his boyfriend, doesn’t feel good enough with his brother around, and reconciles

2. 5x07 “Puppet Master”: has an autistic meltdown, gets gas poisoning, imagines everybody loves him, wants to share his core wounds, gives jake strange advice, steals, and sends puppets to new york city

3. 4x07 “Dynamic Duets”: creates a superhero alter ego, meets evil warbler #2, does autistic stuff, and wants to stop feeling like he’s a bad person

4. 2x12 “Silly Love Songs”: makes a fool out of kurt accidentally, makes a fool out of himself in a gap, becomes a part of a ‘when harry met sally’ situationship, and sings two solos

5. 4x03 “Makeover”: becomes a huge nerd and the president, makes a friend, lies to artie, and realizes he is sad and alone

6. 2x20 “Prom Queen”: delivers part three of his traumatic backstory, is very afraid, makes his solo story relevant, and saves the prom!

7. 4x17 “Guilty Pleasures”: likes wham, is a swiftie in the alternate universe of the promo, sings sam a strangely emotional song, and sam is not homophobic to him

8. 3x17 “Dance with Somebody”: tells everybody that it’s not right but it’s okay, doesn’t want to talk about new york, and has weirdly tan hands

9. 2x16 “Original Song”: forms blaine and the pips, ignores mourning a bird in favor of love, conceives of the worst duet idea of all time, gains +1 boyfriend, and sings two solos

10. 2x06 “Never Been Kissed”: shifts the tectonic plates by making his first appearance, sings teenage dream, delivers part one of his traumatic backstory, and thinks that karofsky isn’t coming out anytime soon

11. 4x16 “Feud”: has cement hair, has his identity stolen, is on the bottom, and is forced to join the cheerios again by nicki minaj

12. 6x07 “Transitioning”: gets hit with some eggs, has a serious case of heart eyes, and cheats but in a cool way this time

13. 5x14 “New New York”: cheers up sam, becomes elliott’s facebook friend, has a good talk with kurt, and moves in with mercedes

14. 3x05 “The First Time”: gets virgin shamed, canonically masturbates, meets evil warbler #1, makes out with kurt hummel drunk, and has sex

15. 2x14 “Blame it on the Alcohol”: thinks it’s cool that kurt and finn are brothers, makes out with rachel berry drunk, defends bisexuals, and is 100% gay

16. 3x11 “Michael”: wants to be starting something, gives the warblers sensitive information, and could lose an eye!

17. 4x11 “Sadie Hawkins”: gets asked out by a girl, has a crush on a boy, and finds out the warblers are taking steroids?!

18. 6x04/05 “The Hurt Locker”: forgets his mom’s name, finds a bear in his house, remembers fettuccine alfredo, and sticks his tongue right in someone’s mouth

19. 4x14 “I Do”: gets groped in a prius, has his honor defended, has sex in a hotel room, and knows he and kurt will not be just friends

20. 5x16 “Tested”: has body image issues, watches porn, admits that he’s scared kurt will stop loving him, and is misinterpreted by the entire fandom

21. 4x04 “The Break Up”: screams, cries, throws up, sobs, falls to his knees,

22. 2x09 “Special Education”: helps kurt out at his new school, doesn’t audition for the solo at sectionals, sings the solo at sectionals, gives kurt bird advice

23. 4x10 “Glee, Actually”: who’s blaine? ice skates and has a mature talk

24. 3x01 “The Purple Piano Project”: joins the new directions, unknowingly blows up a piano, and tries his best to be friendly

25. 4x15 “Girls (And Boys) On Film”: sings three duets with three different duet partners, and has a starring role in kurt’s imagination

26. 4x21 “Wonder-ful”: understands kurt unlike anyone else, and wants to marry him

27. 5x01 “Love Love Love”: sings the best duet with kurt, gets back together with him, is more asian than sam and ryder, gathers every show choir in the state, and proposes

28. 6x02 “Homecoming”: gives us some information on his depression, wears curly hair until he remembers people are racist about it, and attempts to solve misogyny

29. 2x15 “Sexy”: takes advice from sue sylvester, is very cringe, and delivers part two of his traumatic backstory

30. 3x02 “I Am Unicorn”: #juniorgate, is the only person respectful of kurt, and gives great audition #1

31. 4x06 “Glease”: continues to suffer, breaks character, and stands hollow eyed in the hallway

32. 3x08 “Hold on to Sixteen” fights sam, fights finn, and does what his father said and let his mother mold him

33. 5x06 “Movin Out”: visits new york, considers being a doctor or a teacher, and is the piano man

34. 2x11 “The Sue Sylvester Shuffle”: sings a banger solo, mercedes and rachel talk at him while he eats, and he attends a mckinley football game

35. 4x01 “The New Rachel”: tells kurt to leave (affectionate) and is the titular character

36. 3x14 “On My Way”: has an emotional breakdown in front of god and everyone, and then raps

37. 4x05 “The Role You Were Born to Play”: cries and sings his best solo, which is great audition #2

38. 2x18 “Born This Way”: sings somewhere only we know, which should make the top but it’s his only scene

39. 6x13 “Dreams Come True”: becomes a father, and loves kurt very very much

40. 3x22 “Goodbye”: is now in ‘the notebook,’ shares a lot of meaningful looks, and wears a lobster cardigan

41. 6x08 “A Wedding”: he gets married i guess. points for his vows

42. 4x22 “All Or Nothing”: is insulted by brittany once again, buys a ring for kurt, and sings a duet with marley

43. 3x09 “Extraordinary Merry Christmas”: is kurt’s best friend and holiday roommate, and gets some good gifts from rachel

44. 4x08 “Thanksgiving”: doesn’t exist until kurt calls him on the phone, and yet it’s such a good phone call that it beats the episodes below

45. 5x11 “City of Angels”: is too gay to lead the glee club, reads the show choir blogs, and has sexual tension with skylar astin

46. 4x12 “Naked”: becomes santa, gets an unnecessary spray tan, and is a supportive friend

47. 5x20 “The Untitled Rachel Berry Project”: is given kurt’s trust, doesn’t want to sleep with brittany fictionally, and defeats a homophobic old lady

48. 2x17 “A Night of Neglect”: he gets taken on a date to a high school and pushes some people around

49. 6x01 “Loser Like Me”: has been in his flop era since Kurt broke up with him, but he does have a new boyfriend!

50. 2x10 “A Very Glee Christmas”: he sings a flirty christmas duet with kurt, who is much better than that girls gonna be

51. 6x03 “Jagged Little Tapestry”: sings in kurt’s imagination about how much he misses kurt, and gets a bad home makeover

52. 3x03 “Asian F”: gets flowers and a leading role

53. 2x22 “New York”: loves kurt

54. 5x19 “Old Dog New Tricks”: likes seeing kurt so happy

55. 4x09 “Swan Song”: joins the cheerios

56. 2x07 “The Substitute”: sees a purse fall out of kurt’s mouth, and is discussed by kurtcedes as if he’s kurt’s boyfriend

57. 5x17 “Opening Night”: knows a good gay club

58. 3x16 “Saturday Night Glee-ver”: loves dancing and otherwise disappears

59. 3x13 “Heart”: is back from the dead and more cute and compact than ever!

60. 4x02 “Britney 2.0”: sings my favorite mashup

61. 3x18 “Choke”: is a supportive boyfriend

62. 3x20 “Props”: wonders what a guys gotta do to get a little candy situation, and gets a hot pretzel at the mall with kurt

63. 5x04 “A Katy or a Gaga”: is obviously a katy

64. 4x13 “Diva”: points for him being a guy diva, singing don’t stop me now, being cute when he’s sick, being gay, and liking asian representation, but a huge subtraction for the non consensual touching from tina and him apologizing to her at the end

89. 3x19 “Prom-asaurus”: experiences discrimination, but at least he watches lesbians on tv, is an expert on the bill of rights, and has a very sweet boyfriend

65. 5x09 “Frenemies”: people are mad at him for having good grades, but he’s actually really cool about it and offers for them to share his valedictorian speech

66. 5x05 “The End Of Twerk”: unfortunately causes the entire twerking situation

67. 3x04 “Pot O Gold”: sings last friday night, to the dismay of people who usually sing all the time and will not sing any less in the future

68. 3x07 “I Kissed A Girl”: sings a corny duet to my delight, and otherwise has no thoughts about the difficulties of being gay suddenly

69. 5x02 “Tina in the Sky with Diamonds”: is as always a good friend, hits a really high note

70. 3x21 “Nationals”: is simply present, sings come on! hold tight!, and is the only person who isn’t kissed after they win

71. 6x12 “2009”: has stopped living a lie, but starts living a plot hole

88. 5x15 “Bash”: is strangely sidelined in an episode where his fiancé is attacked, but at least he reads star wars fanfiction

72. 5x13 “New Directions”: gets into NYADA, and makes out with kurt in tina’s mind

73. 5x12 “100”: gets his song stolen, and is given a gift for his wedding night sodomy

74. 6x10 “The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester”: is very very sad dalton burned down

75. 4x20 “Lights Out”: gets mostly cut from the episode, and is still a cheerio

76. 3x06 “Mash Off”: looks like a time traveler with quinn

77. 6x11 “We Built this Glee Club”: thinks glitter is pretty

78. 4x18 “Shooting Star”: is scared and sad, BUT PARENT MENTION???

79. 3x10 “Yes/No”: does not say a word but gives kurt a cute look

80. 5x03 “The Quarterback”: is understandably not in this episode very much

81. 6x06 “What the World Needs Now”: certainly appears as some point

82. 2x19 “Rumours”: doesn’t appear but is the subject of rumors, rachel thinks he’s better than sam

83. 3x12 “The Spanish Teacher”: burt wants to tell him kurt got a NYADA audition

84. 6x09 “Child Star”: he’s on his honeymoon off screen, which kinda rocks

85. 5x18 “The Back Up Plan”: is a lying liar

86. 5x08 “Previously Unaired Christmas”: gets told to shut up, and does

87. 4x19 “Sweet Dreams”: gets yelled at for not being responsible for a group of traumatized children by Mr. Schue, the teacher

#blaine anderson #glee #text #blaine meta #long post #feel free to let me know if you disagree #don't take it too seriously though #the tone of this is clearly pretty humourous #although there's some slight passive aggression if you wanna try to spot it #it's for fun

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gift-to-literature · 7 months

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1. Pilot : 1x1

2. Wendigo : 1x2

3. Dead in the Water : 1x3

4. Phantom Traveler : 1x4

5. Bloody Mary : 1x5

6. Skin : 1x6

7. Hook Man : 1x7

8. Bugs : 1x8

9. Home : 1x9

10. Asylum : 1x10

11. Scarecrow : 1x11

12. Faith : 1x12

13. Route 666 : 1x13

14. Nightmare : 1x14

15. The Benders : 1x15

16. Shadow : 1x16

17. Hell House : 1x17

18. Something Wicked : 1x18

19. Provenance : 1x19

20. Dead Man's Blood : 1x20

21. Salvation : 1x21

22. Devil's Trap : 1x22

23. In My Time of Dying : 2x1

24. Everybody Loves a Clown : 2x2

25. Bloodlust : 2x3

26. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things : 2x4

27. Simon Said : 2x5

28. No Exit : 2x6

29. The Usual Suspects : 2x7

30. Crossroad Blues : 2x8

31. Croatoan : 2x9

32. Hunted : 2x10

33. Playthings : 2x11

34. Nightshifter : 2x12

35. Houses of the Holy : 2x13

36. Born Under a Bad Sign : 2x14

37. Tall Tales : 2x15

38. Roadkill : 2x16

39. Heart : 2x17

40. Hollywood Babylon : 2x18

41. Folsom Prison Blues : 2x19

42. What Is and What Should Never Be : 2x20

43. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 1 : 2x21

44. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2 : 2x22

45. The Magnificent Seven : 3x1

46. The Kids Are Alright : 3x2

47. Bad Day at Black Rock : 3x3

48. Sin City : 3x4

49. Bedtime Stories : 3x5

50. Red Sky at Morning : 3x6

51. Fresh Blood : 3x7

52. A Very Supernatural Christmas : 3x8

53. Malleus Maleficarum : 3x9

54. Dream a Little Dream of Me : 3x10

55. Mystery Spot : 3x11

56. Jus in Bello : 3x12

57. Ghostfacers! : 3x13

58. Long Distance Call : 3x14

59. Time Is on My Side : 3x15

60. No Rest for the Wicked : 3x16

61. Lazarus Rising : 4x1

62. Are You There, God? It's Me Dean Winchester : 4x2

63. In the Beginning : 4x3

64. Metamorphosis : 4x4

65. Monster Movie : 4x5

66. Yellow Fever : 4x6

67. It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester : 4x7

68. Whisful Thinking : 4x8

69. I Know What You Did Last Summer : 4x9

70. Heaven and Hell : 4x10

71. Family Remains : 4x11

72. Criss Angel Is a Douch Bag : 4x12

73. After School Special : 4x13

74. Sex and Violence : 4x14

75. Death Takes a Holiday : 4x15

76. On the Head of a Pin : 4x16

77. It's a Terrible Life : 4x17

78. The Monster at the End of This Book : 4x18

79. Jump the Shark : 4x19

80. The Rapture : 4x20

81. When the Levee Breaks : 4x21

82. Lucifer Rising : 4x22

83. Sympathy for the Devil : 5x1

84. Good God, Y'All : 5x2

85. Free to Be You and Me : 5x3

86. The End : 5x4

87. Fallen Idols : 5x5

88. I Believe the Children Are Our Future : 5x6

89. The Curious Case of Dean Winchester : 5x7

90. Changing Channels : 5x8

91. The Real Ghostbusters : 5x9

92. Abandon All Hope : 5x10

93. Sam, Interrupted : 5x11

94. Swap Meat : 5x12

95. The Song Remains the Same : 5x13

96. My Bloody Valentine : 5x14

97. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid : 5x15

98. Dark Side of the Moon : 5x16

99. 99 Problems : 5x17

100. Point of No Return : 5x18

101. Hammer of the Gods : 5x19

102. The Devil You Know : 5x20

103. Two Minutes to Midnight : 5x21

104. Swan Song : 5x22

105. Exile on Main St. : 6x1

106. Two and a Half Man : 6x2

107. The Third Man : 6x3

108. Weekend at Bobby's : 6x4

109. Live Free or Twi-hard : 6x5

110. You Can't Handle the Truth : 6x6

111. Family Matters : 6x7

112. All Dogs Go to Heaven : 6x8

113. Clap Your Hands If You Believe : 6x9

114. Caged Heat : 6x10

115. Appointment in Samarra : 6x11

116. Like a Virgin : 6x12

117. Unforgiven : 6x13

118. Mannequin 3: The Reckoning : 6x14

119. The French Mistake : 6x15

120. ... And Then There Were None : 6x16

121. My Heart Will Go On : 6x17

122. Frontierland : 6x18

123. Mommy Dearest : 6x19

124. The Man Who Whould Be King : 6x20

125. Let It Bleed : 6x21

126. The Man Who Knew Too Much : 6x22

127. Meet the New Boss : 6x23

128. Hello, Cruel World : 7x1

129. The Girl Next Door : 7x2

130. Defending Your Life : 7x3

131. Shut Up, Dr. Phil : 7x4

132. Slash Fiction : 7x5

133. The Mentalists : 7x6

134. Season Seven, Time for a Wedding! : 7x7

135. Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel : 7x8

136. How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters : 7x9

137. Death's Door : 7x10

138. Adventures in Babysitting : 7x11

139. Time After Time : 7x12

140. The Slice Girls : 7x13

141. Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie : 7x14

142. Repo Man : 7x15

143. Out with the Old : 7x16

144. The Born-Again Identity : 7x17

145. Party On, Garth : 7x18

146. Of Grave Importance : 7x19

147. The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo : 7x20

148. Reading Is Fundamental : 7x21

149. There Will Be Blood : 7x22

150. Survival of the Fittest : 7x23

151. We Need to Talk About Kevin : 8x1

152. What's Up, Tiger Mommy? : 8x2

153. Heartache : 8x3

154. Bitten : 8x4

155. Blood Brother : 8x5

156. Southern Comfort : 8x6

157. A Little Slice of Kevin : 8x7

158. Hunteri Heroici : 8x8

159. Citizen Fang : 8x9

160. Torn and Frayed : 8x10

161. LARP and the Real Girl : 8x11

162. As Time Goes By : 8x12

163. Everybody Hates Hitler : 8x13

164. Trial and Error : 8x14

165. Man's Best Friend with Benefits : 8x15

166. Remember the Titans : 8x16

167. Goodbye Stranger : 8x17

168. Freaks and Geeks : 8x18

169. Taxi Driver : 8x19

170. Pac-Man Fever : 8x20

171. The Great Escapist : 8x21

172. Clip Show : 8x22

173. Sacrifice : 8x23

174. I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here : 9x1

175. Devil May Care : 9x2

176. I'm No Angel : 9x3

177. Slumber Party : 9x4

178. Dog Dean Afternoon : 9x5

179. Heaven Can't Wait : 9x6

180. Bad Boys : 9x7

181. Rock and a Hard Place : 9x8

182. Holy Terror : 9x9

183. Road Trip : 9x10

184. First Born : 9x11

185. Sharp Teeth : 9x12

186. The Purge : 9x13

187. Captives : 9x14

188. #thinman : 9x15

189. Blade Runners : 9x16

190. Mother's Little Helper : 9x17

191. Meta Fiction : 9x18

192. Alex Annie Alexis Ann : 9x19

193. Bloodlines : 9x20

194. King of the Damned : 9x21

195. Stairway to Heaven : 9x22

196. Do You Believe in Miracles : 9x23

197. Black : 10x1

198. Reichenbach : 10x2

199. Soul Survivor : 10x3

200. Fan Fiction : 10x4

201. Paper Moon : 10x5

202. Ask Jeeves : 10x6

203. Girls, Girls, Girls : 10x7

204. Hibbing 911 : 10x8

205. The Things We Left Behind : 10x9

206. The Hunter Games : 10x10

207. There's No Place Like Home : 10x11

208. About a Boy : 10x12

209. Halt & Catch Fire : 10x13

210. The Executioner's Song : 10x14

211. The Thing They Carried : 10x15

212. Paint It Black : 10x16

213. Inside Man : 10x17

214. Book of the Damned : 10x18

215. The Werther Project : 10x19

216. Angel Heart : 10x20

217. Dark Dynasty : 10x21

218. The Prisoner : 10x22

219. Brother's Keeper : 10x23

220. Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire : 11x1

221. Form and Void : 11x2

222. The Bad Seed : 11x3

223. Baby : 11x4

224. Thin Lizzie : 11x5

225. Our Little World : 11x6

226. Plush : 11x7

227. Just My Imagination : 11x8

228. O Brother, Where Art Thou? : 11x9

229. The Devil in the Details : 11x10

230. Into the Mystic : 11x11

231. Don't You Forget About Me : 11x12

232. Love Hurts : 11x13

233. The Vessel : 11x14

234. Beyond the Mat : 11x15

235. Safe House : 11x16

236. Red Meat : 11x17

237. Hell's Angel : 11x18

238. The Chitters : 11x19

239. Don't Call Me Shurley : 11x20

240. All in the Family : 11x21

241. We Happy Few : 11x22

242. Alpha and Omega : 11x23

243. Keep Calm and Carry On : 12x1

244. Mamma Mia : 12x2

245. The Foundry : 12x3

246. American Nightmare : 12x4

247. The One You've Been Waiting For : 12x5

248. Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox : 12x6

249. Rock Never Dies : 12x7

250. LOTUS : 12x8

251. First Blood : 12x9

252. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets : 12x10

253. Regarding Dean : 12x11

254. Stuck in the Middle (With You) : 12x12

255. Family Feud : 12x13

256. The Raid : 12x14

257. Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell : 12x15

258. Ladies Drink Free : 12x16

259. The British Invasion : 12x17

260. The Memory Remains : 12x18

261. The Future : 12x19

262. Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes : 12x20

263. There's Something About Mary : 12x21

264. Who We Are : 12x22

265. All Along the Watchtower : 12x23

266. Lost and Found : 13x1

267. The Rising Son : 13x2

268. Patience : 13x3

269. The Big Empty : 13x4

270. Advanced Thanatology : 13x5

271. Tombstone : 13x6

272. War of the Worlds : 13x7

273. The Scorpion and the Frog : 13x8

274. The Bad Place : 13x9

275. Wayward Sisters : 13x10

276. Breakdown : 13x11

277. Various & Sundry Villains : 13x12

278. Devil's Bargain : 13x13

279. Good Intentions : 13x14

280. A Most Holy Man : 13x15

281. ScoobyNatural : 13x16

282. The Thing : 13x17

283. Bring 'em Back Alive : 13x18

284. Funeralia : 13x19

285. Unfinished Business : 13x20

286. Beat the Devil : 13x21

287. Exodus : 13x22

288. Let the Good Times Roll : 13x23

289. Stranger in a Strange Land : 14x1

290. Gods and Monsters : 14x2

291. The Scar : 14x3

292. Nightmare Logic : 14x4

293. Optimism : 14x5

294. Unhuman Nature : 14x6

295. Byzantium : 14x7

296. The Spear : 14x8

297. Nihilism : 14x9

298. Damaged Goods : 14x10

299. Prophet and Loss : 14x11

300. Lebanon : 14x12

301. Mint Condition : 14x13

302. Ouroboros : 14x14

303. Peace of Mind : 14x15

304. Don't Go in the Woods : 14x16

305. Game Night : 14x17

306. Absence : 14x18

307. Jack in the Box : 14x19

308. Moriah : 14x20

309. Back and to the Future : 15x1

310. Raising Hell : 15x2

311. The Rupture : 15x3

312. Atomic Monsters : 15x4

313. Proverbs 17:3 : 15x5

314. Golden Time : 15x6

315. Last Call : 15x7

316. Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven : 15x8

317. The Trap : 15x9

318. The Heroes' Journey : 15x10

319. The Gamblers : 15x11

320. Galaxy Brain : 15x12

321. Destiny's Child : 15x13

322. Last Holiday : 15x14

323. Gimme Shelter : 15x15

324. Drag Me Away (From You) : 15x16

325. Unity : 15x17

326. Despair : 15x18

327. Inherit the Earth : 15x19

328. Carry On : 15x20

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notsowrites · 2 years

Text

to end up with you

michael looks for alex in the pocket dimension (a 4x10 malex coda)

a/n: i meant for this to be a short coda. that did not happen. also there is a bit in here that is 100% the fault of @haloud and @im-the-punk-who 💜

[AO3 Link]

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Isobel had asked him once, not long after Max had saved Liz, in those first few months where it felt like their secrets could be exposed at any moment, if he didn't understand exactly why Max had made the decision that night in the Crashdown when Liz had been shot. At the time, he couldn't answer her. Instead he'd sat there silently and let her believe he didn't know what that kind of love was like. And as she'd walked away, frustrated by his lack of understanding towards Max's decision, he'd made eye contact with Alex from across the room.

Because of course there was someone.

In a way he didn’t want to admit out loud, he understood that all consuming need Max had to save Liz that night. He let his anger show through, that fear of discovery taking a front seat despite the understanding. Max’s split second decision to save Liz, because he couldn’t live in a world where she didn’t exist was something he knew, something he related to. Because he knew, and had known since he was seventeen, that he didn’t want to live in a world where Alex Manes didn’t exist.

Three years later, and everything has changed. He walks through the portal to the alternate dimension, his only thought is finding Alex. And for once, no one had tried to stop him, or convince him he’s making a dangerous or reckless decision. Kyle and Maria had both warned him, their own concerns shining through about him heading into the unknown - but they hadn’t tried to talk him out of the decision, to stop him. Because he knows they are two people who love Alex, who miss him, and who understand just how important Alex is to him. He still feels a residual anger over Max stopping him from following Alex through the quicksand, and at Rosa for equating him wanting to search for Alex to the cover-up of her murder when they were seventeen. That he’d started to believe that maybe they were right, that maybe Alex wanted him to be smarter about all of this.

“Dallas said his name is Alex,” Bonnie starts as they walk along the road that Michael is sure leads towards town, “this man you love enough to walk through the portal for.”

He nods, glancing over at her, his hand reaching up to touch the pendant hanging against his chest. “Alex Manes.”

Dallas reaches a hand out, stopping Michael from walking, and he turns to look at him, confused by the action.

“Wait, Guerin. Your necklace. I’ve seen it before.” He digs a hand into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the other half, and holding it out for him. “This was there when I fell through the sinkhole.”

Maria had said the other night that she could see Alex’s necklace through the sinkhole, he remembered that. It was why he’d been so eager to jump in.

He takes the pendant from Dallas, running a finger over it. If Alex had left it there, if he’d done it so he knew he was alive when he followed him down-

“He’s leaving clues,” he blurts out, palming the necklace and slipping it into his pocket. “For me to follow. He thought I was going to follow him down the other night, and I didn’t but he left clues.”

“What happened the other night?”

“He’s been reaching out to Maria, to tell her he’s missing.”

“For how long?”

Michael shakes his head. He doesn’t know. Maybe the entire time he’s been gone searching for the weather balloons. “It only started a couple days ago.”

“But Alex left almost a week ago.”

“I know.” He hangs his head, once again feeling the disappointment in himself for not noticing sooner that something was wrong. “He could have been trapped down here the whole time and I - and I didn’t know.”

It’s then that he notices Bonnie has been unusually quiet. He’s never seen her this quiet in the time he’s known her. She’s always full of energy and excitement, looking forward to new challenges and discoveries. And he would have thought an entire dimension like this would be right up her alley.

“I think it was Tezca.”

“Tezca what? That trapped him?” Of course she did, and probably while she was under whatever mind control Isobel had been referring to. “But why?”

Bonnie shakes her head. “I don’t know. Like I said, she and Clyde were always keeping things from me.”

“Why were you part of their triad then? Doesn’t that-” Dallas looks back and forth between him and Bonnie. “Doesn’t that go against what a triad is?”

“I liked Earth too much. They didn’t expect it, I guess.”

Michael knows a little bit of what that’s like, to not be what people expected of you. He doesn’t blame Max and Isobel for embracing Earth all their lives, not when they were adopted, and got the family and the parents and the home. But it did make it harder for them to understand why he couldn’t look at it the same way.

There’s a billboard on the side of the road, an advertisement for a housing development. The perfect nuclear family smiling at the passersby - a true testament of what people believed ideal meant.

“Is this something normal on Earth?” Bonnie asks, and Michael looks to see that she’s standing near the corner of the billboard, pointing at it. “I wonder who AM is.”

He stops dead in his tracks.

“That’s Alex!”

Carved into the wood of the billboard, are the words AM WAS HERE . It feels like a scrap of hope showing up in the middle of the desert, that they’re on the right path. That Alex isn’t far away from them now.

At least, he hopes. They’re still a ways away from town, but Michael feels more determined than ever to keep going.

“We’re on the right track,” he continues, feeling a bit more hopeful suddenly. Why else would Alex have left that there, if not to tell him to head in this direction?

“I don’t understand,” Bonnie continues as they keep walking down the road. “What does it mean?”

Dallas laughs, shaking his head. “It’s something we used to do as kids. You write that you were somewhere to show others. Making your mark, in a way.”

“Oh.

He wishes they could move quicker, walk faster, find a car or truck to hotwire and use instead of having to walk. But they’d been out in the middle of the desert, there was nothing around. They didn’t have any other choice but to walk. Except as he rounds past the billboard he spots a truck.

It’s an old clunker, the back full of supplies - flares, canned meat, blankets and tarps. As if someone had left it all here on purpose.

“Come on,” he calls out to Bonnie and Dallas, still standing near the billboard. “This’ll be faster than walking.”

“You can get it to work?”

He laughs at Bonnie’s question. Of course he’ll get it to work, that’s what he does. He fixes things.

“It’s what I do.”

He’s surprised when the engine immediately turns over, and the truck starts. He hadn’t expected that out here, but now he wonders if the truck wasn’t left here recently. If someone hadn’t dropped it off with the supplies for a reason. Was this Alex’s doing? Had he been leaving clues and supplies for him to find so he knew where to go after he followed him through the quicksand?

The revelation makes him angry at Max’s actions that night all over again. All these little things that Alex had left for him - the necklace, the truck and the supplies, the writing on the billboard - it meant that Alex was leading him somewhere. It meant Alex had wanted him to follow him down the quicksand the other night.

He felt like even more of a fool now.

“Do you have someone, Dallas? Someone like Michael has?”

"Uh," Dallas begins, and Michael realizes he's never really heard Dallas put a label on what Heath is to him. Important, yes. But Michael is almost positive Heath is straight as an arrow. "I used to get these flashes - headaches - from a machine Michael's mom built to get a message to me from my father. Heath was the first person who figured out how to help drown out the noise from them. We thought there was something wrong with me neurologically - and Heath went to med school because he wanted to find out what was wrong "

"He chose his future because of you?"

Dallas nods, and Michael shakes his head. Maybe he's been too focused on Alex recently to notice just how close Dallas and Heath really are. "We found out last year it was just a side effect of the problem with the machine trying to get its message to me."

"So he knows you’re Oasian.”

That gets a laugh out of Dallas as Michael concentrates on the road and driving. “I didn’t even know I was an alien until last year when Isobel and Michael found me.”

“That explains your reluctance to embrace your abilities.”

A silence settles over them, but Michael can see Bonnie is thinking of something else. She’s watching the road pass by, but her eyes are unfocused, her mind preoccupied. He’d thought he’d understood her when they’d first met, but since that day she'd kissed him, he's had to shift his thinking. He still wants to believe she's good and innocent, but that deception, her belief that she was saving him by taking away his abilities, still weighs heavily on his mind

"This planet hasn't been kind to us," she eventually says, speaking up. "I thought it was different, there were so many things to try and enjoy that we'd never get the opportunity to experience on Oasis. But the more I learn about it, the more I wonder if Clyde isn't right."

"It has its moments."

Moments, he thinks, like the ones that led him to Alex. To allow him to cross paths with someone who wanted to give him all those things he'd been searching for, those parts that had been missing his whole life - a home, a family, the feeling of knowing and believing you are loved. And while the promise of traveling to Oasis is tempting, Michael isn't sure there is anything about that planet that could ever compare to how Earth has Alex.

“Have you really been dreaming of a place you know nothing about?”

Michael takes a deep breath at Bonnie’s question. He’s been thinking a lot about it since meeting her and Clyde, and if traveling there is even feasible.

“It’s easy to put your faith in the unknown when you’re the one left behind.”

“But would you go?” Dallas asks, following up with the question Michael has started to doubt. It’d been so easy before he and Alex had gotten back together, when there wasn’t a them to talk about. “If you had the chance, would you go back to that planet you don’t remember? Choose it over the life you have here?”

He hates when Dallas is right.

Bonnie had asked the same one, and Max had wondered as he’d started spending more time with Bonnie and Clyde, getting answers about Oasis.

None of it matters though. Not right now. Not until he finds Alex.

Because the only person whose opinion matters in all of this, and he’s somewhere out in this alternate dimension. Despite spending his entire life dreaming of traveling back to a planet he doesn’t remember, it still feels like a decision he can’t make on his own.

Years ago, when he’d first shown Alex the fallout shelter, and the incomplete console, he'd been so eager to show Alex what he was working on. The things he’d discovered in regards to his origins. Alex had asked to know not only who he was, but what as well.

He wishes he could forget the absolute panic that had taken over Alex the moment he’d announced he wanted to attach the console to a vehicle, that its purpose was to leave the planet. The way Alex had retreated out of the bunker as fast as he could, needing to get out and away from him. They hadn’t spoken for several more weeks, not until Alex had shown up at the junkyard asking for his help.

“It’s a complicated question,” he replies, repeating words he’s said before. Because there is no simple answer - it’s not yes and it’s not no. And right now, Oasis isn’t what he’s thinking about. Considering traveling to another planet doesn’t matter when his soulmate is trapped here. “I’ve had the same dream since I was seven years old. Whenever I could hitch a ride to Foster’s Ranch, I’d head out there, and I’d sit on the same fence post and I’d wait.”

“Wait? For what?”

He sighs at Bonnie’s question. “It’s where the crash occurred in 1947. I thought, if this is the last place I saw my family, people who loved me, maybe this is where they’d return one day for me. To take me home.”

“What about Alex?”

“And Alex, well. I fell in love with him. And I started to wonder if maybe Earth was home.”

They finally reach town, and Michael slows down the truck, taking in the differences - it’s as if they’ve been transported back in time. Nothing looks the same and yet - not much has really changed in the town. The shop fronts are different, but the roads are all the same, leading to the same places seventy years later. The empty roads and abandoned buildings remind Michael of a mindscape - void of people.

It makes him wonder if that’s what this pocket dimension is. A kind of mindscape - but for what purpose?

“You think their food is as good as the Crashdown?” Dallas asks, pointing towards the Atomic Diner.

Michael shakes his head, glancing around as he parks the truck on the side of the street - not that it seems to matter much where he parks.

“Michael, look!” Bonnie exclaims, her arm reaching out, finger pointing in the direction of the gazebo in the middle of town. He can see it too, the familiar shimmer of alien tech - alien glass.

The three of them take off across the street.

In the gazebo is a half built console, a pile of pieces off to the side, whether they don't fit the console or are waiting to be attached, Michael won't know until he tries. And there, next to the pile is a notebook full of writing. Locations and places scribbled down, coordinates that Michael recognizes as the path their ship had taken the night of the crash.

"What is all of this?"

Michael smiles, leaning down and picking up a piece of the glass, smiling as it shimmers to his touch.

"This is what my mom was building."

"But why do we need another console? The portal worked."

He shakes his head. There has to be a reason it worked with just one to open up to this alternate universe. Perhaps… perhaps it needs a second console in order to open the portal to somewhere else. From this side. Maybe those final pieces to his console had been hidden here in this dimension to prevent it from being completed.

But it also means that if there is a console on this side, there is probably the fruit for fuel.

Dallas takes the notebook, flipping through it, studying the writing.

"You think our parents left this here? It looks like a checklist-"

Michael steps back, realizing why things are written down, crossed off. He recognizes the handwriting.

"That's - Alex wrote that."

If he wrote it, why isn't he here? Why does he keep finding these hints and not actually finding Alex? He'd never really give up hope finding him, but it feels like each step forward is another road block.

"Your boyfriend is building this?"

Michael stares at the console in awe. Alex has been gone for a week. In a week the console is almost fully completed, which means Alex has been tracking it down piece by piece, all over the Roswell of this alternate dimension. Had he seen the holder the console would rest on top of in order to access the portal? Had he recognized the shape?

He grabs the notebook back from Dallas, inspecting the list. Foster's Ranch is crossed off but also circled, arrows pointing to the side of it with different coordinates listed. Coordinates Michael knows by heart.

When he'd begun building his own console nearly twenty years ago, he'd started at Foster's Ranch. The place their ship had crashed in 1947.

He hands the notebook back to Dallas and takes off back in the direction of the truck. "What are you doing?" Bonnie asks, following him.

"We need to go to Foster's Ranch." He gets the ignition going again. “Are you coming?”

Bonnie shakes her head, looking back towards Dallas.

"I'll stay here with Dallas. We can put together the console and look for other pieces on the list."

He takes off, doesn’t wait for her to say anything else.

Is he really about to find Alex? Could it really be this simple? After days of missing him, of allowing himself to be talked out of following him.

For years he towed his trailer between Foster's Ranch in the summer and Sanders' in the winter. Never settling in either place because neither was fully home, though Foster's always felt the closest he could get. He knows the exact spot where his trailer used to be, knows the footpaths and driveways around the land haven't changed much in seventy years.

And of all the people to come knocking on his door, to deliver to him the news that the ranch bad been sold to the goddamn Air Force, it had been Alex. Alex standing on his front porch, Alex delivering the news that he had to leave. Alex who'd laughed when he'd tried to push that Foster's was a historical site.

It doesn't matter now, any of it. Because there is a key in his pocket that opens the front door of a house they share, and he's got the code to the alarm system memorized and his own login to the camera security system Alex has installed all around the house. He got six months of waking up next to Alex and falling asleep next to him, the two of them eating breakfast and dinner and meals in between together. Six months of slowly realizing that maybe they could have had this all along, that if the world hadn't conspired against them at seventeen, they'd have been able to do this fifteen years earlier.

Sometimes he still had his doubts. Fear creeping in, making him wonder if it would all be torn away again.

There's a truck parked under the sign to the entrance to the farm, a familiar place to him that hasn't changed much in seventy years. He pulls up next to it, and curses when he doesn't see Alex.

Foster's is acres and acres of land. It's massive, a whole dairy farm that doesn't even touch the land where the ship crashed in 1947.

He pushes open the door, and glances around, trying to imagine where Alex could be, and what he's doing out here. And why he was constructing the console they'd found on the gazebo.

"Took you long enough."

Immediately he feels his knees want to give out, the voice the only one he's been wanting to hear since he found out he was missing several days ago. He doesn't even know how he's been sleeping, to be honest, his mind constantly racing, the chaos roaring inside him, thinking about what could have happened to him.

Grabbing onto the side of the truck, Michael walks around to the back, where he hadn't noticed the tailgate pulled down. There's an old blanket spread out that Alex is laying on, another bunched up further back that he must have been using as a pillow.

But Alex - he's the most beautiful thing Michael has seen in a week. There's a bit of a mustache growing above his lip, the beginnings of a beard from not shaving. He looks more tired than Michael has seen him in a while, reminding him of that day at Deep Sky when he'd almost watched him fall over the edge.

He lets Alex wrap his legs around him, and Michael pushes in towards him, hands reaching up to touch him, fingers brushing through his hair, across his skin. Needing to convince himself this is all real. He pauses a moment, holding Alex's face in his hands, letting himself take in the small changes to his appearance as Alex watches him, waiting.

"Michael-"

He dives forward, mouths colliding and cutting off whatever Alex was going to say. He feels like a man walking a desert who's finally found the water to sustain him. Noses squished together, foreheads pressed tight, none of his matters except that Alex is alive.

Salt from a tear makes him pause, pulling back slightly. Alex is crying, but he's also smiling - and that's when Michael realizes so is he.

“I’m so sorry,” he says in between kisses, tears mixing with saliva because Michael can’t stop. “I should have noticed, I should have known. You lead me to where you were and I didn’t follow-”

“Michael,” Alex tries again, letting him kiss him, before gently pushing back. He goes, leaning back enough to let him speak, but still pressed up against him, still holding onto him, fingers dug into the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

He hates how Alex just accepts it. That he didn’t immediately follow him down into the sinkhole.

Reluctantly, he lets go of Alex’s face, his hand dropping down to where Alex’s leg is pressed up against him. He’d noticed when he'd seen Alex, but hadn’t said anything yet. Now, he notices the prosthetic off to the side of the truck, the compression sock laying over the side. Carefully and delicately, he massages his fingers into the muscle of Alex’s leg, feeling it out. Worry sets in the more he thinks about it, about Alex stuck here without his supplies. But he can already see Alex is okay, he made do while stuck here, maybe there isn’t a point in bothering him about it.

“Remember what I told you? That night before I left?” He nods, remembering their conversation in the bunker that night Alex was set to leave to retrieve the weather balloons after the St Elmo’s Fire. “All that mattered to me was getting back to you. From the moment that woman trapped me here.”

He nods, leaning forward and pressing their heads together again for a moment before his head snaps back up. “What woman?”

Alex frowns at him, shaking his head. “I guess she was Jones’ contingency plan. She said I was another part of it.”

“You?”

“Before she trapped me here. She had a tattoo-” Alex reaches out, grabbing his arm and pulling it towards him, running a finger across the tattoo he’d gotten when they didn’t know if Max would be coming back. If he’d survive the transplant intact. “It was just like yours."

This changes things though, Michael thinks. Isobel had tried to convince him that she wasn't evil, just brainwashed by Jones. But if she’s the one responsible for trapping Alex here, he wants answers. What contingency plan was Alex part of?

Instead he nods. "Her name is Tezca. Isobel is working with her to break past Jones' cult programming."

Alex goes quiet, and Michael doesn't fill the silence, just lets Alex push his fingers into his curls, playing with his curls and scratching lightly at his scalp in a way that feels so incredibly good.

"Your mom built this place," Alex finally says, and Michael listens. "It's designed to hide something that doesn't want to be found."

"The console?"

Alex nods. "I think they were hiding it from Jones."

"Hiding what?"

"The way home - back to your planet."

Michael pushes back, all the questions he's had, the ones he's been asked recently about if he would go to Oasis given the chance, come flooding back. His own apprehension had disappeared the moment he'd discovered Alex was missing because he doesn't need Oasis then, it's secondary, it's not as important. One of the reasons, he's realizing, that he felt comfortable enough to explore about Oasis, was because he was confident that Alex would support him no matter what.

"I'm not going."

Alex frowns, as if not understanding and Michael needs him to know. Maybe he let his own insecurities take a front seat tok much over the past six months, maybe Alex is doubting his own place in his life - and Michael cannot have that .

"It's your home. I know it's important for you to see it."

Can't Alex see how wrong he's been? That he's been too focused on a world he still knows almost nothing about, somewhere he isn't even sure would want him. He'd lost his way over the past week, allowed Clyde to fill his head with notions of what an amazing place Oasis could be, to ignore all the best parts of this planet. Had he even been so naive to even tell Max a trip to Oasis was worth a conversation with Alex? As though he was still actually considering leaving?

"It was," he whispers, feeling the tears in his eyes. "But finding out you were missing, that something happened to you, nothing else mattered. When I was a kid, traveling there was my dream because earth never felt like home - no one here ever made me believe it could be. No one until you."

"Michael-"

"My dreams changed before I realized they had. But I was still holding onto those childhood fantasies, hard to let go of them when they've kept you company most of your life. And I lost sight of the future, of the home I want to build with you."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to choose."

He nods, remembering Alex handing him the piece of console years ago. The two of them believed it fit the one Michael had been reconstructing. That it was a piece Michael needed in order to fully make the decision to leave. It had taken him months to recognize the actual significance of Alex's choice that night, of his words.

Michael presses back in between Alex's legs, taking his face in his hands and gently pressing their lips together again. Until Alex pulls back, and Michael realizes he isn't done speaking.

"Is that why you're building this one?"

Alex ducks his head down, but he's smiling, and Michael knows he's right.

But all of a sudden it doesn't feel as important. Even with Oasis so close, it feels as though he doesn't need to step through the portal to that planet. He doesn't need to see or experience it. Traveling to the world they left behind all those years ago isn't quite as important anymore.

He remembers something Alex had said, when he'd been feeling insecure about moving in together, and about his overcompensating by trying to fix all the things that were quirky and broken immediately. How it'd ended in him smashing the gazebo miniature Alex had built with his mom.

"That planet was the dream I had when there was nothing else for me to look forward to. You changed that." He traces a fingertip down Alex's cheek, before settling his hand on his chest, over his heart. "This future, this life we're building together, is more important than anything I could ever find on that planet."

"Okay," Alex says, his voice quiet, wrapping a hand around his own, putting just a bit more force onto where his hand is against Alex's chest.

"Alex?"

"I wanted to be standing up for this, or well, I thought maybe we'd be back home, in our house. But-" Alex pauses to reach up with the hand that has been holding him up as he's sat on the truck's tailgate, fingers brushing against the beard on his neck and face, before slipping down and Michael can feel him gently lift to hold the alien glass pendant in his fingers. "The summer I left for basic, after high school, same sex marriage was legal in California. It had passed right around graduation, and I spent that summer wondering if things had been different, if my dad and the shed and your hand hadn't happened, if we'd been in a better place, we could have driven there. Gotten married."

Michael stares at him, wide eyed and in love, because he remembers that summer. Remembers reading about Prop 8 and the thought of being able to marry Alex, had spurred so many dreams of his own.

"When it got repealed later that year, I wondered if it was better this way. We hadn't parted that summer on the best of terms, and maybe we were too young anyway. But seeing you two years ago, standing outside that trailer, realizing that I had to be the one to have to deliver the news that you couldn't live somewhere you thought of as home - I hated myself for it. I'd joined the Air Force to learn how to fight back, to protect you , and there I was, doing the opposite."

"That wasn't your decision-"

"I know, but it didn't make it hurt any less. And I didn't know how to make us fit anymore. Deep down I knew I still loved you." He lets Alex pick up his hand, the left, the one that held the scars of that one fateful night until Max had healed them. At least, physically. "Loving you is this ache inside me that never goes away, that keeps me company each and every day I'm not with you. That amplified every single time I knew we couldn’t be together. And I thought, if I was taking you away from your home, then maybe I could give you another."

He looks down to watch as Alex strokes his hand over the skin, fingers lingering in the spots the damage had been the worst. He knows how often Alex had studied his broken hand, memorizing the scars and breaks.

“A long time ago, I settled thinking the happiest I could ever be was to marry Maria. It wasn’t - I knew I’d never get to be happy, not fully. But it would be enough. And then - and then you happened. And I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was a chance I could be happy. I could get the ideal Roswell I’d once dreamed of and started building with my mom as a child. Ever since that day you stole my guitar in high school, it’s always been you, Michael. Only you.”

He looks up at Alex, feeling slightly stunned. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to propose after finding out Alex went missing and after embarking on this search to find him?

"Are you asking me to marry you, Manes?" He glances around to the alternate dimension they’re currently stuck in, all the work they still have to do in order to be able to go back through the portal and back to Earth. But it feels like a promise, something he knows he can make to Alex. The pendant of Alex’s that Dallas had found is in his pocket and he pulls it out now, holding it up, smiling.

“You found it?”

“Dallas did, when he came through the quicksand.” He undoes the clasp and carefully puts it around Alex’s neck. “But we did follow your breadcrumbs.”

Alex pushes back, staring at him. “How’d you get here?”

“Through the gate. With my console.” He pauses, thinking about that moment he’d made the decision to step through. Hoping for this moment right here.

“You found the way out.”

He nods. “It’s not quite that simple, but we’ll do it together. And when we get out of here, I’m going to marry you, Alex Manes.”

“So that’s a yes?”

Leaning in, he presses their lips together. He doesn’t know how anything could ever compare to having Alex in his arms, to kissing Alex. Why a few words about a planet he doesn’t remember, a home that may not even want him, was all it took to make him forget.

“For a moment, I lost sight of the things that were truly important to me. But I’m not doing that again.” He presses their foreheads together, his hands sliding up Alex’s neck, fingers pushing into the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m not looking away.”

#roswell new mexico #malex #malex fic #notso writes fanfic #uhhhh this is 5500 words now #it was not supposed to be this long #i dunno what happened

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