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imkylotrash · 3 years

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Wouldn’t Change A Thing

Pairing: Riven x reader

Requests: The reader is sarcastic and fiesty and they have constantly arguments but are really into each other. Anonymous And The reader is the only one of her kind so she's automatically an outcast and on top of that she's a dark fairy, like she can control anything to do with shadows and darkness so like the complete opposite of Stella's powers and then Riven like becomes friends with her and it becomes something more than friends. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @grey-girl @intoanothermind

A/N I wasn’t sure if you meant dark fairy as like evil magic or dark fairy as just her powers being focused on the dark but I did a little mix, so I hope you like it!

Look down. It’s the first thing you learn at Alfea to avoid the pointing fingers and mean looks. You tried talking back to them but when you’re one against a hundred the odds aren’t really in your favour no matter how badly you want to throw punches. Being a dark fairy meant being considered evil and bad but you just thought of the dark magic as a different kind of magic. You weren’t going around killing people or actively making life miserable for others, you just allowed your magic to be fuelled by something other than positive feelings and in turn you could control darkness. You could play with shadows and darkness creating illusions and conceal the light. Farah had let you attend Alfea in the hopes of turning your magic around but you were born with this magic. Everywhere you looked someone wanted you to be different. The only reason you attended Alfea was to learn control of your powers and be able to harness it better. The same laws of magic applied to yours even if the lessons focused on positive feelings.

“Hey.” You look up against your better judgement to spot Riven watching you. The one specialist not bound by honour and a crucial need to do the right thing. He was the one person in this entire school who didn’t seem afraid of you despite having seen your powers in full scale. He’d volunteered to be your partner for the training program and ever since that day you’d practically been attached by the hip. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t fancy him but he literally drove you crazy most of the time. He always had some snarky comment ready to piss you off and in truth, you knew he enjoyed it. He liked seeing you all riled up. It’s the very same reason you do it to him. He’s so easy to toy with and get upset, it’s almost too easy.

“Didn’t think I’d see you today. Aren’t the specialists doing some sort of mission on the forest?” You put air quotes around mission knowing it’ll tick him off just slightly.

“All I’ve said was hey and you’re already being an absolute asswipe.”

“Don’t call me an asswipe, you dickhead.” He scoffs ready for a comeback when you start laughing. How have you been together for two minutes and you’re already at each other’s throat. And this isn’t even as bad as it can get for the two of you.

“I brought you food,” he says clearly still in a mood. You grab the sandwich from him with a smile.

“You know you can be sweet,” you say hoping it’ll distract him from acting like a sourpuss for the rest of the afternoon. He narrows his eyes looking your way but decides to drop it. Instead he signals for you to follow him out on the field. It’s weird seeing it completely empty but all the fairies are in the hall eating and the specialists are out in the forest which allows a little bit of privacy for the two of you.

“So, why aren’t you with the others?” You take a bite watching for any indication that he’s not ready to talk about it. You don’t want to push him or make him feel worse. You know he worries about these things even if he’ll never admit to it.

“I got caught smoking in the forest. Silva told me to stay behind and think about my actions.” You know he’s an avid user of euphoric drugs and alcohol but it’s gotten worse lately and it worries you.

“Have you then? Thought about your actions.” There it is. The twitch in his brow telling you that he’s reaching his breaking point of being calm to getting angry. Just a slight puff of air could push him over the edge.

“I’ve passed all my exams so far. What does it matter if I like to smoke a little joint once in a while?” he shrugs trying to sound carefree but you know him better than that. He doesn’t want Silva or Sky to be disappointed in him but lately, it seems like that’s all they’ve been. You get it. The fear of disappointing someone you look up to and deciding to fuck things up yourself so that it’s on your terms.

“It doesn’t. Except it isn’t just once a while anymore. It’s every day.”

“And what’s it to you, huh? Since when do you decide what I can and can’t do?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Riven,” you say getting annoyed by his poor attitude. You can’t help how they feel. All you can do is offer insight and try to make him see where they’re coming from. They want what’s best for him and perhaps they go about it in a misguided way but it’s only because they care.

“You’re not my girlfriend. You can stop acting like it.” He’s trying to hurt you and it’s working. You’re very aware of the fact that you’re not his girlfriend and right now you don’t want to be. When you get up to leave, he grabs hold of your wrist.

“Where are you going?”

“To my room. I’m sure the four walls are better company than you are right now.” You try to shake free but he’s got a strong grip. You don’t want to use your powers to make him let go but you also just really want him to let go.

“I’m sorry. I’m taking it out on you and that’s not fair.” Some of the anger evaporates but the comment about not being his girlfriend still stings.

“I don’t want you to change. I just wanted to offer their perspective. You’re wasting away a lot your youth on that stuff.” You return to your seat next to him well aware that you weren’t actually going to leave but the threat seemed to clear his mind.

“I’m sorry for what I said about you not being my girlfriend.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” You shrug trying to act unfazed but Riven doesn’t buy it.

“I really am sorry.” He puts his arm around you letting you lean your head on his shoulder. It’s almost peaceful to sit here watching the sun go down.

“What if I wanted to be your girlfriend?” You say it so casually you’re even shocked yourself. It sounded like you just told him that you wanted to get cereal for breakfast. Why you even said it baffles you but it’s out now. You’re tired of pretending he’s not the one you want. You don’t see yourself with anyone else and you’d rather have him screaming at you for being his annoying girlfriend than his annoying friend.

“What?”

“You heard me.” He visibly swallows and it’s clear that he didn’t expect you to say it.

“Okay.” This time you’re the one turning into a stuttering mess. Did he just say yes?

“What?”

“You heard him,” he smirks repeating you from previously. Did you just become his girlfriend? In a sense it’s perfect. You’re not into all the drama and romantic gestures. This moment right here is the perfect moment for you and Riven.

“Well, girlfriend. I have a proposition for you then,” he smiles and right now you’d agree to pretty much anything he says. You’re still not over how casually you and Riven just became a thing and at the same time being very happy about it.

“What proposition?” you ask feeling slightly suspicious considering that this is Riven we’re talking about.

“How about for every time I want a blunt, I’ll come find you and kiss you instead?” His words make you blush and you’re horrified by how much of a silly, little teenager those words turn you into.

“I’d like that.”

“I have to warn you though. It might happen quite often.” He leans in to kiss you.

#winx riven #riven blurb #riven gif #riven imagine #riven x reader #riven #fate the winx saga #fate the winx club #fate winx club #winx saga #winx club #fate winx #fate

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matthewtkachuk · 4 years

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feel something pt 1 - jj

On the outside, you’re a kook princess with a seemingly perfect life and a perfect family. The expectations are suffocating you, to the point where the only thing you feel is numb. You’re chasing different coping mechanisms in order to feel something. Until a chance encounter with a certain blond pogue you know you’re supposed to hate gives rise to a different kind of feeling.

Warnings: angst, toxic behaviour, poor coping mechanisms, drug usage, mentions of sex, mentions of suicidal ideations (brief), Rafe being a grade a asshole, shitty parents

Pairings: JJ x reader (eventually), Rafe x reader (slight), Topper x reader (slight)

Words: 3.1k

A/N: I accidentally deleted this, ugh sorry if you see this again!! I started off wanting to write a supremely angsty one shot, turned into a supremely angsty multi-chapter fic. This is a slow burn, babyy. Here’s the set up, let me know what you think! :)

series masterlist

You stand teetering on the edge of the balcony railing, barefoot and facing the waves as they crash onto the beach. You’re not thinking about jumping. At least you’re pretty sure you won’t actually jump. Really you’re just looking for even a flicker of an emotion to stir up in your chest. Lately you haven’t felt anything more than mild annoyance at your parent’s constant bickering and pestering. You know you’re too young, but all you feel anymore is numb. You lift your left leg, balancing precariously on the right for a minute before lowering it and returning to the balcony and slipping your heels back on.

You don’t want to die, you just don’t want to live like this. Kook princess, paraded and practically pimped around by your parents, looking for you to find an advantageous marriage, have 2.5 kids and further accumulate your hoarded wealth. “Why don’t you date the Cameron boy? He’s quite good looking and your father would love it if you married his business partner’s son” and “The Thornton boy would be a good match, the family mansion is the largest” and “Jacob Kane’s father is a name partner at a successful law firm on the mainland”. Your mother’s incessant nagging about finding the perfect husband only further cements your lack of value as a human being, your usefulness tapped out at your ability to be someone’s wife.

You don’t understand the wealth accumulation thing, your trust fund probably equals the national budget of a small country already, and there’s no way anyone could blow through the entire family fortune in a single generation. At this point, it just feels like generating wealth for the sake of generating it. What good is money if it just sits in a bank account or investment portfolio, earning passive income and not being used for anything.

You recognize you’re very privileged, you’ve never once had to worry about where your next meal would come from, you have a closet full of designer handbags and red bottom shoes the value of which could feed several families on the Cut. But what’s the cost? You feel suffocated by the pressure bestowed upon you by your parents. You’re the eldest sibling, primary heiress to the Y/L/N family fortune and expected future successor of the family business. Truthfully, you couldn’t give less of a fuck about retail development or whatever it is that keeps your father so busy that he missed every single one of your piano and ballet recitals growing up. You like the idea of studying Shakespeare’s sonnets and soliloquies over learning about mergers and acquisitions and tax avoidance laws at college, but you know your father would sooner cut you off than let you pursue your own passions.

Sometimes you let yourself fantasize about leaving it all behind, running off to some college like Columbia, moving to New York and living in the city that never sleeps. With your 4.0 GPA and stellar extracurricular activities, you could probably get a pretty good scholarship. Or maybe Paris, where you would sit in a cute little café flirting with French boys and writing poetry by the Seine River. But it would be hard, and you’re too much of a coward to see if you could make it on your own without daddy’s money. Not to mention the little voice in the back of your head that sounds suspiciously like your mothers telling you that you’ll never amount to anything without their help.

Later, you’re wandering the party, both hands curled tightly around the cup you hold to your lips, eyes staring out at the crowd over the rim. Unfortunately, you catch Rafe Cameron’s eye as he’s sat around the coffee table with a freshly cut white line ready on the surface. He’s surrounded by the idiots he calls friends and more than one pretty little rich girl making eyes at him. The left corner of his mouth turns up in a smirk as he realizes you’ve sized up the company around him.

“Hey Y/L/N, want a line? First one’s on me, babe.” He calls out at you, but you just roll your eyes and keep moving forward. As desperate as you are to feel something, you’re not sure you can cross that line just yet. Partaking in the occasional joint or bong rip is one thing, but hard drugs is another. You don’t think trading in the empty feeling in your chest for an addiction is worth it. Seeing the blown out pupils of some of your peers, and the way they not-so-discreetly sniff and wipe at their noses you realize you’re likely alone in that assessment. “Your loss!” he calls out at your retreating form, and you don’t even bother to look over your shoulder. You know he’s not really interested in you beyond making you a customer and maybe a quick fuck.

You snort to yourself, wondering what your mother would think about the boy she wanted you to pursue offering you a line of coke at a party. Knowing her, she would focus on the fact that you had gained his attention and ignore the illicit substance.

Making your way through the cluster of bodies is harder than you had initially thought, everyone was on everyone. Every kook party ends up this way, a certain subset of the group coked out and the rest so drunk they can’t function, and you begin to wonder why you even bothered coming.

You’re not totally sure what you’re looking for, your best friend and Rafe’s younger sister Sarah doesn’t really associate with this crowd anymore ever since she started spending all her time with the less fortunate side of the island. Rafe had called it ‘slumming with those dirty fucking pogues’ the last time Sarah had partied with you. Maybe it isn’t right to call her your best friend anymore because not only does she not associate with this crowd, she doesn’t really associate with you either.

You know she’s hanging with Kie again, there are a lot of watchful eyes on the island and even more flapping lips. It’s kind of ironic, Sarah was the one who convinced you to drop Kie, and you had let her. Now the two of them were spending all their time together on some dilapidated boat named after the inhabitants of the Cut and you were alone at some lame party with a heavy weight on your chest and under your eyes.

Sighing deeply, you down the rest of the contents of your cup and grab a refill before turning your attention back to the crowd of people in the middle of the living room. As your brain starts to fog further with the familiar feeling four vodka crans give you, you let Topper put his hands on your hips and pull your bodies close together, your back to his front. A voice in the back of your mind wonders if you’re supposed to feel guilt over Sarah’s ex’s hands all over your body, but you don’t feel anything and Sarah clearly doesn’t give a fuck about you either.

The next morning you wake up with Topper’s hands around your bare waist. There’s a pain radiating against your skull and you have cotton mouth, but you quietly gather your clothes and sneak out of the room before the sleeping blonde can wake up and give you that regretful look he gets in his eyes every time you hook up. You know he still loves Sarah, in his own fucked up way and though you don’t regret where you woke up, you know you’ll just be annoyed if you have to deal with his issues this early in the morning with this bad of a hangover.

You’ve almost successfully left the large mansion, quietly walking through the living room to the front door when a voice remarks dryly, “Really, y/n? I thought you were better than my sister’s leftovers.”

Inhaling through your nose and out your mouth sharply, you spin on your heel to face Rafe with a blank expression on your face. He sits at the kitchen island, bare-chested with his hat on backwards, casually eating a bowl of cereal. The thought of why exactly Rafe is sitting half naked in Topper’s kitchen, eating Topper’s cereal briefly flashes through your mind but you decide you don’t care. “What do you care Rafe?” you ask, only half interested in his response. There’s a moment of silence, and you pick at your fingernails rather than meet his gaze.

“I’m just saying, I thought you were better than that,” he shrugs, bringing another spoonful to his mouth.

You roll your eyes, already tired of the conversation, “And who, pray tell, is better for me?”

“Me of course,” he smirks at you, and you huff out an annoyed laugh and raise an eyebrow silently asking him to explain. “Come on princess, I know your parents want you to marry up. ‘m your best option on this island”.

Mildly annoyed, you roll your eyes and turn back towards the front door, eager to leave this conversation behind. “C’mon baby, we both know how this thing ends, with you on my arm as the perfect trophy wife.”

There was a time those words might have brought butterflies in your stomach. Growing up best friends with Sarah meant you also grew up with Rafe, and you used to have the biggest crush on him. Forbidden by Sarah after a late night game of truth or dare, you didn’t use to mind when your mother would spout off about Rafe being the perfect boy for you. He used to look out for you like he did for Sarah. But that was a long time ago, and he no longer cared about either of you anymore and you had to admit you couldn’t remember why you had ever thought him anything but repulsive. That was before the drugs and the untethered rage that always rests just under the surface of his skin, ready to be unleashed at the smallest slight. You might have married the little boy with the gap toothed smile who once punched Jacob Kane when you were in the second grade and he wouldn’t stop bothering you, but this Rafe wasn’t good for anything beyond a quick meeting in the dark.

If you had been able to feel anything, you might have snapped back at him, but you had no energy and honestly all you wanted was to shower in your own shower and collapse in your own bed, so you ignored his comment and slipped out the door.

It was a quick walk back to your house, and you snuck in quietly through the front door hoping no one was home and your dreams of slumbering until the early afternoon could be realized. Unfortunately, your mother sat on the cream colored chaise in the sitting room, clearly anticipating your arrival. Her eyes quickly scanned your appearance, your manolos held by the straps in your right hand, your sex hair and décolletage you were sure was covered in bites and bruises caused by overeager lips, before sighing.

“Y/n, darling, you have to stop this silly behaviour and settle down. Boys aren’t going to want to lock you down if they’ve already had you.” She criticizes, effectively slut-shaming you. You roll your eyes at that, briefly wondering if the old wives tale was true and you’d end up with your eyes stuck like that. You decide you don’t mind, it would save you some time as your base reaction to most interactions is to roll them.

“I had a rough night mom, I’d like to go back to bed,” you tell her as you try to slip past her. A cold hand circles your wrist, stiletto tipped manicure digging slightly into the skin stopping you from moving any further.

“I’m serious, y/n, you’re better than this.” She throws the same words Rafe had at you. Exasperated and exhausted you rip your wrist from her grasp and head to the stairs. “We’re not done talking about this!” she shouts but you ignore her and continue towards your nice shower and bed.

Rolling over to an empty bed several hours later, you grumble as you try to identify the source of your wakeup call. Cursing as you smack your arm against your side table, you finally manage to grab your ringing cell phone. Seeing RC flash as the contact calling, you groan loudly, before hitting the decline button and rolling back over. A minute later your phone chimes again, indicating a voice mail.

You figure there’s no point in drawing out the inevitable, so you unlock the phone and listen the voicemail Rafe left. He’s invited you to hang out with him and his friends on his dad’s yacht. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’ve sent him a text to say you’d be there in an hour. Despite there being no love lost between you and Rafe, you really don’t have any better options and maybe if you tell your mom who you’re hanging out with she’ll get off your back and not subject you to The Lecture. You and Sarah used to laugh and joke about The Lecture, about how being a Y/L/N means being perfect and obtaining a perfect husband. The two of you would mock your mother, exaggerating her southern drawl that slipped out as she lectured you on the importance of propriety and ‘leaving something to the imagination’.

As you slip on a navy sundress with a deep neckline, you laugh, thinking to yourself that there’s not much left to leave to the imagination. You take the time to curl the ends of your hair to create a bouncy wave and apply a few coats of waterproof mascara and lip gloss. The humid heat of the OBX keeps your makeup routine light in the summer.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” Shit. Your dad’s home, he knows you stayed out all night, and he’s pissed. You don’t think your mom told him the full story, because he’s not frothing at the mouth mad, just his typical disappointed mad.

“Rafe invited a couple of friends to hang out on his dad’s yacht, daddy,” you reply back, not meeting his eyes.

You can tell your dad disapproves, because the lines between his eyebrows are more pronounced with his narrowed eyes. As he starts to give you what you’re sure is an impassioned lecture, your mother pops up out of nowhere, gushing, “Rafe? Well of course you can go sweetie, isn’t that right hon?” she turns to your dad, a single eyebrow raised daring him to defy her. Your parents are the ultimate power couple, wielding power and guilt over each other almost as easily as they try to do to you.

He sighs, realizing the fight with his vengeful wife isn’t worth the lesson you’re not going to learn anyway and nods, “Alright, just be back for supper, we’re going to sit down as a family tonight. And tell Sarah we said hi.”

If either parent noticed your stiffened back, they don’t comment on it. You hadn’t told them that Sarah dumped you like yesterday’s news just yet. Why blow a perfect cover story? Again, the lack of guilt should probably concern you, but you’re more focused on the very expensive, very good quality wine that you know is waiting for you on the Cameron’s yacht.

An hour later, you’re sitting between a very uncomfortable Topper and a disinterested Kelce with a full wineglass in your left hand. Your right hand slides your sunglasses back onto your eyes to shield them from the harsh sunlight that beats down directly on your face.

You can’t find the energy to strike up a conversation with either of them, and they don’t seem very inclined to start one either, so you turn your head to the side and look out at the water until you see a familiar beat up boat approaching. You visibly tense as your eyes lock on your blonde former best friend laughing with her arm around John B as their stupid friends talk and laugh around them. “You okay, y/n?” Kelce finally speaks, noticing your change in posture.

“Never better,” you drily reply moving to turn your head back to the other side of the yacht, as if the other boat on the water didn’t exist at all. Your eyes briefly flicker to the other blond on the boat, taut muscles on display beyond the ratty cut-off tank top as the pogue known as JJ attempts to wrestle with his friend Pope. You feel a drop in your stomach that perplexes you as your eyes scan his sunkissed skin. Startled, you turn your head quickly and take a huge sip of your wine.

You anticipated some sort of confrontation, maybe a thrown insult, but their boat simply eclipsed the yacht and they continued on their way. You were annoyed by the concerned look that Kelce threw your way after they had left, so you downed your glass and grabbed Rafe’s hand and all but dragged him inside the cabin.

The second the door shuts behind you, you’re on him, mouths mashing in a hungry kiss. He smirks against your mouth and leads you into the bathroom and proceeds to rid you of your clothes.

As you’re letting Rafe Cameron fuck you in the bathroom of his yacht, your mind can’t help but think you’re fucking over Sarah, too.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” he praises in your ear as he thrusts into you from behind. You don’t even have the energy to fake a moan, you just lean your head back against his shoulder.

When he’s finished, you simply slip your dress back on, refill your glass and sit back between Topper and Kelce as if they didn’t just hear you hook up with their best friend.

You go to bed early that night after a “nice family dinner” that consists of back-handed compliments and your mother fishing for details about your time on the yacht. You don’t think she’d be too pleased about letting Rafe ‘have you’ before ‘locking you down’, so you keep it to a minimum. Both parents drill it into your head that as a Y/L/N, you’re held to a higher standard than your peers. Perfect grades, perfect life, perfect daughter. You don’t know how to tell them you don’t even feel human anymore, so you smile and nod as they pester and nag. Your little sister sits quietly the whole time, looking at you with an emotion you can’t quite decipher.

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years

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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 3

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it’s own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You’re Peter’s classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don’t know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you’re lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Peter always unapologetically stealing all the uwus. It’s the MCU law, sorry, didn’t make it. Tony Stark can ✨rail me✨. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves THE WORLD! I’m not kidding. Please visit her and show her some love, my homegirl is stressed 💖✨

I didn’t see Bruce nor Tony for a week. The doctor was away on some science conference (he sent me one dorky selfie next to a whiteboard full of barely intelligible equations as proof), Tony was in California, having some sort of a board meeting. How do I know? Peter, out of lack of better things to do, constantly texted me updates on his science patron’s whereabouts and what-abouts.

In times like these, it took me for a loop - I was on a first name basis with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. In the beginning, I was intimidated - I avoided them both like the plague and tinkered in the lab with headphones on whenever I could, until Tony made a comment so snarky I couldn’t resist joking back. That’s not to say Bruce was a social butterfly, but even he gave into my tomfoolery after seeing me stand calmly throughout several of Tony’s hissy fits.

What amazed me even more so was that despite Tony being literally an insufferable little brat, I still longed after him. Sure, the man was hot as hell - but his physical traits were much less significant when it came to my feelings towards him than the amount of sheer drive and willpower he possessed. He was stubborn - that’s another trait we shared - and unapologetically himself in every damn situation.

I could write poetry about the million expressions in his face, about the shine in his eyes.

But I won’t. He’s a technical guru. Ever since I started hanging around the tower, I became much more conscious about what I posted online. Not to say I had a Stark fan blog or anything, but I’d stopped scrolling through the tag, even if I didn’t actually click on any articles. I dutifully reblogged pictures of Tom Ellis instead - while he was a very fine, distinguished man, he wasn’t Tony Stark. I enjoyed looking at the first and enjoyed being around the other. And even though my feed still had the occasional “I love arm” shitpost, I focused on aesthetic pictures and quotes instead - things I had an active internet presence for.

My personal life wasn’t very interesting. I didn’t have any close friends and any and all sex I’ve had was just a bunch of one night stands, fueled by alcohol, selfish lust and the occasional joint. Despite having a fair share of kind, generous lovers, the morning after left me feeling a little bit emptier every time. I thought about getting a boyfriend or something… But quickly became totally clueless as to where I could find one. Men under twenty-five could barely hold my interest long enough to have a casual chat and I wasn’t naive enough to think there were a lot of honest, well-intentioned thirty-somethings that wanted to date my high school ass.

Peter had a crush on me, I knew that. The boy developed one or another kind of feelings for anybody who showed him the tiniest bit of kindness and it alarmed me. In any other case I would have bailed on him, gently, of course, to spare him the disappointment but my selfishness got in the way. I regretted it every day. A wave of desperation rose in me every time I thought about moving on without seeing Tony or Bruce, without Peter shyly smiling at me as he explained how the things he created worked. A faint hope that one day, his schoolboy puppy love will grow into a brotherly kind of regard was the only thing that kept me afloat in my sea of guilt.

As the Fall rolled around, so did my gloomy mood. It was hard to be sad when the sun was shining and the birds were chirping outside, but with clouds hanging over the city like a lead curtain, the bottled up negativity rose to the surface uninvited. Mother had returned from her business trip, adding an uncomfortable, hollow sort of chill to the house wherever she stood. I don’t know what was worse - the hours we spent in one room ignoring each other or the immaculately structured questions she asked me about my studies and extra-curriculars. Mother didn’t ask me about my friends, or my feelings or any of the other things a mother was supposed to give a damn about.

I was an asset to her company and that was that. If you would have asked her, she would tell you I’m old enough for her to mind her own business - which was technically true. Yet according to her, I’ve been old enough since seventh grade. My dad answered his messages sporadically, sometimes with a two-word answer and sometimes with a cocaine and booze fueled rant eleven texts long. I felt sorry for him. I really did.

My phone was blowing up. Party invitations, likes from people I saw once or twice (“oh my god, you’re, like, so hot, what’s your Insta”), DMs from guys looking to score an easy piece of ass. I never answered. If I wanted to party, I just sort of showed up and everybody went along with it. I took care of my appearance and it showed - never once was I turned away from a party. Everyone wanted to dance, to share their drinks, to light up and get faded together and fade into the city, into the cold air and grey sky.

Skirt swaying and top clinging to my chest, I danced. The sweaty, heated bodies around me did the same. Not one of us cared, it was a Tuesday night and the place packed way too many people. An arm snaked around my waist, startling me. I had to begrudgingly crack open an eye to see the bastard in the dimly lit room.

“I saw you at the bar, you looked bored. Maybe you need something to cheer you up?”

So not a creepy rapist. Just your friendly neighborhood drug dealer. At house parties like these, there was always The Guy. He never danced, he sipped on the same drink all night yet always looked like he was having the time of his life. I was no stranger to the occasional joint, or even something more stimulating…

“I got the good stuff, sweetums, you’ll be fine and dandy in no time.”

Eh, what the hell. I inconspicuously danced with the guy to the middle of the crowd, exchanging a few crumpled dollar notes for a baggie of two pills. In no time, I chased one down with a hastily poured Jack.

The world did become better, as the drug dealer promised. People were nicer, friendlier and I almost didn’t believe mother was a useless, stone cold bitch. I almost didn’t care that I was deeply, madly in love with a man as unreachable as Olympus. If I squinted, the guy sitting at the bar looked kind of like Tony, tan, dark hair, worn jeans and a band tee.

So I danced. I danced and I stared right at him and then we danced some more. I closed my eyes, letting his arms grab me and pull me, I let his beard scratch my neck where he sucked a mark on me, I let his rough palms choke me against a wall in one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the house. It felt good to be wanted. It felt great to be needed as he rutted inside of me, hitting that sweet spot with every twitch of his hips.

It felt lonely when he left, pressing a kiss to my forehead and saying something dumb like “Be good, kid.”. I don’t remember what exactly it was, only that I had to turn my face away from his breath that reeked like weed and vodka.

To shake off the void that made home inside of my chest, I went to the roof to get some fresh air. The house had a nice patio on it - I actually knew the owner - that hosted more plants than I’d care to count. There was an ashtray and an abandoned pack of cigarettes. I greeted the faintly blooming sunrise surrounded by a cloud of smoke, shivering in the autumn mist.

Sounds of the party became less prominent with every passing minute as people geared up to go home and get a few winks of sleep before going to work. New Yorkers weren’t really thoughtful partying on a Tuesday, but then again, neither was I. The city always was busy - even then, at the crack of dawn, the dull throb of a bassline was rudely interrupted by a blaring car alarm followed by dogs barking in aggravation.

The more I sat there, the bleaker everything became. I had enough common sense to know I was just coming off the drug but for once, I had been happy and content for several hours without a care in the world. It had been too long since I felt that way and what’s a little low after a good high?

Mother left for her early conference at five AM sharp, I entered my house at five-thirty, making a beeline in the shower and immediately dumping my alcohol and cigarette soaked clothes into the wash with the smelliest detergent I could find. I gave similar treatment to my body and my hair, using the chemically-smelling products on my body and on my hair, brushing my teeth multiple times.

By the time I was leaving for school, only a faint smell lingered in the air where I’d previously entered, so I set the air freshener to automatically spray the obnoxious mist every ten minutes. Mother gets home at twelve for lunch, that should be more than enough time for any remnants of my partying to disappear into the lilac and lavender fumes.

The Valium I’d popped to deal with the aftermath of Molly made my brain sluggish. One look in the mirror and I hastily put my sunglasses on - the ashen colour of my face and the slightly crazed look wasn’t very complimentary to my complexion. The teacher didn’t give a damn. I stared blankly ahead of me for most part of first period.

“What happened to you? You look like hell!” Peter’s exclamation, while usually would’ve alarmed me, barely made a dent in my stupor.

“I feel like shit, too,” Admit what you can’t deny. Deny what you can’t admit. “I didn’t get any sleep. Like, at all.”

Peter frowned, the crease between his eyebrows growing deeper with every passing second. I flinched when his hand tentatively touched my forehead - the pounding in my temples slowed to a dull throbbing but it was still unpleasant when someone was all up in my space.

“Jesus, you’re as cold as a corpse. Maybe you should go see the nurse,” His worry bled into me too. Like hell I was going to the school nurse! They were specifically trained to recognize the signs of substance abuse.

“I’ll head home straight after school, I think we’ll have to skip our sciencing,” No way also I’d be letting Tony and Bruce see me like this. Oh my God, I was a mess. “Mother’s home.” I added. Even the emotional frostbite I’d get from being around her was more tolerable than being a downer for Peter and Tony.

Peter’s face immediately softened in sympathy. He knew almost everything about my relationship with my family, including him actually seeing my mother that one time. He told me she gave him the creeps and I don’t blame him at all. The stoicism that was required for her work made my mother an unbearable person to exist around outside of her fancy office on the top floor of a glass high-rise building.

“Okay, but promise to text me if it gets worse. You might have caught the autumn bug that’s been going around,” He obviously said the last part to calm himself down. Sweet little Peter, naïve child. I solemnly nodded nonetheless.

When I got home, I went straight to bed. Tony was being Tony, as usual, but in a strangely kind way. I suppose it should’ve made me feel better and it kind of did, but then it went downhill from there. I couldn’t explain why I started crying. I bawled my eyes out at how unfair this god-damned world was and when the doorbell rang… Let’s say, the delivery boy hightailed it out of there once the bag of takeout was deposited into my arms. I looked and felt ghastly.

I ate as much as I could and dropped into a restless nap, drifting in and out of sleep with exhausted exasperation. There had not been a time where I felt so low after popping a pill and I was equal parts alarmed and satisfied. For one, the drug dealer didn’t lie like they usually do - the stuff was good and I still had the other pill hidden away in a bottle of painkillers, inconspicuously mixed with other white pills but shape distinctive enough for me to recognize should I have need in taking it again.

The thought of well, taking it again, was fleeting. I had school tomorrow and a missed science bender to make up for. A few buzzes of my phone later, I felt happier. Better. Not so down anymore. I meant every word that I said - Bruce was very precious, kind and gentle. And so, warm and soft. And totally kissable.

Well, fuck. What do I do now?

#bun writes #party favours #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #stephen strange x reader #Stephen Strange x y/n #I've already got a room in Hell y'all welcome to book one nearby

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blissfulalchemist · 3 years

Note

Chance/Faith - ‘ what did you dream of? ’

Hello there once again! I do hope that you enjoy this short piece!

tw for drug use and mention. also for my dumb tongue in cheek jokes.

just under 2k

There’s something to be said about the peace that comes with sitting on the roof of some building. Hell just being up high always had its appeal to Chance, it was the coming down that left him sick. Maybe not the act of falling itself, that also provided some peace, but finding yourself back on the ground. The reality of being present, alive, stopped being fun the moment he had nothing but coming to his knees at the mere thought of them….of all that he had lost. Being grounded was overrated. Being grounded was pain. Being grounded was accepting the truth….something Chance had never been very good at.

To be high, in the sky, drunk enough to no longer keep steady on the ground….that was freedom….happiness. Even if it was set to kill him sooner than people wanted.

Catching the black smoke rising in the distance he smirks, giving a shake of his head, it’s the fourth one he can spot looking over the border of the Valley and Hebane. The gunfire Chance can just barely make out in the distance has him leaning back letting the sun warm the skin he’s sure is starting to look red rather than sunkissed. He probably should have stuck to the drinking after being arrested, he probably would have gotten another year of life. He definitely wouldn’t be in the middle of some war he never wanted to start or even end if he was being honest.

He takes a deep breath catching the hints of memories from when he was a teenager dying in the tight black clothing on this same roof in the height of summer. Back then Chance was just starting to experiment with drinking more and smoking weed while he dated some daughter of a successful real estate agent from New York, her hair the same color as Rachel’s. The eyes were a straight blue and her voice was a bit too gruff, she blamed it on always yelling for a taxi in the big city, and she was too self centered. It was only her hair that he liked.

Chance huffs, sitting up as he pulls out the stolen joint letting it find a place between his lips, testing the lighter once before he settles himself more. According to Hurk the joint was filled with some of the best weed in the world and how he saved it before some guy named Jason burned the whole farm down. Of course Jason was someone that Hurk met while out in Malaysia and really Chance should have been there to take down some guy that could almost rival Joesph in the crazy department. The exaggeration of the story Hurk had weaved for Chance still makes him chuckle, even now as he takes a drag letting the smoke sit in his lungs and envelop his tongue for a minute.

He let’s the smoke circle around him, closing his eyes, the high kicking in almost as fast as the Bliss does. “At least you’re right about it being some of the best,” Chance mumbles, bringing a knee up to rest his arm on while he watches over the activity he can’t really see. He’s about halfway through the joint when he feels someone watching him from below. Chance leans over catching the glimmer of her light brown hair, golden in the afternoon sun, before her blue-green eyes smile at him. “You’re pretty far out for just some casual stroll, don’t you think?”

He smirks as Faith rolls her eyes playfully, “Could say the same about you, Chance,” she tilts her head, looking to the stairs of crates leading to the roof, “Mind if I join you?”

Chance shrugs, letting out the latest drag, “Long as you can promise Jarhead or Gaston Wannabe aren’t waiting in the treeline to take me in.”

Faith begins the climb up the crates shaking her head, “Now why would I do that?” She smoothes out the skirt of the white lace of her dress, sitting next to him, taking the joint from his fingertips, “I don’t really like sharing you as it is.”

He watches her for a moment, taking in the way her hair shifts from brown to blonde at the whims of the breeze blowing, how her lips curve in a small smile as she inhales the smoke, and her eyes closing for a moment before handing the joint back to him. His heart tugs towards her, the suspicions he’s been having coming to the forefront of his mind. She can’t really be the same girl, there was no way. Tracey didn’t know Rachel like he does….did. Like he did. Seeing Faith like this though….Chance can’t help but see an older version of Rachel from that high school photo when she was a freshman, the last picture anyone had of her. He shakes the thoughts from his head, it was all probably a lingering hallucination from Bliss. Why wouldn’t it be possible for it to show you someone that you really wanted?

“What are you thinking about,” her voice pulls him back to the roof, the smile she wears before laughing, “Anyone home up there?”

He laughs in return, “This stuff really does live up to the hype it was given.”

Faith hums, leaning back on her hands, “So what did it make you think about?”

“The past,” Chance mutters, flicking the ash off, “This place brings back too many memories.”

“What kind of memories?” She asks sweetly.

“Summers up here, people I’ll probably never see again,” he says, balancing the joint between his lips as he searches for his phone, “Nothing special really.”

He lets out an a-ha finding it in his pocket, “Those people you think you’ll never see again,” Faith starts, Chance giving a nod for her to continue as he searches through the playlists, “Can I ask who they are?”

Chance settles on a song by Ghost, letting the music fill the silence while he takes what will be one of the last drags of this joint. He mulls over the answer as the smoke fills his lungs once more, passing the rest of it to Faith. “A girl.” Faith slides her gaze towards him slowly, “One of the few reasons I would have the possibility of being more comfortable with this place.”

“She an old girlfriend?”

“No,” he shook his head, “Just an old pipe dream.”

The silence falls quickly, Chance letting it stay for the length of a song, gripping for something lighter to talk about with her. She lets her head rest on his shoulder, fingers becoming entwined with his, “We’ve heard rumors about you, Chance.”

His heart rate slows after the initial surprise of her touch, his free hand closing over her chilled fingers, “If they’re from Gossip Girl, take it with a grain of salt.”

She laughs, giving a light slap on his chest, “Be nice. John’s not that bad once you get to know him.”

He rolls his eyes, “I’ll keep that in mind next time he’s got me strapped down and a knife to my throat.”

“But seriously though, many of the locals say that this wasn’t your first choice of a career.”

“I don’t think being the pawn in some supposed prophecy is anyone’s first choice in a career.”

“You’d be surprised actually,” Chance arches a brow at her response, “Again though can you let me finish?”

“Don’t I always?” He smirks, ”Thought you said that was my best quality.”

Faith groans, “Chance! Focus,” she takes a deep breath shifting to better lay against him, “What did you dream of being when you were younger?”

“Pfft, you seriously want to know that?” She nods, “Why?”

“Curiosity,” she states.

“Will you tell me yours?”

Faith thinks for a moment, tracing the tattoos on his hands, “Only if you tell me the truth.”

Chance lets out a sigh, keeping his eyes focused on the open space before him, “I wanted to be like Dad,” Rachel would have known that. “Your turn.”

“We didn’t have any dreams,” she giggles, the tone contrasting with the weight of what she’s just said, “What was the point when there wasn’t a chance we’d get anywhere close to them.”

“Something to aspire to,” he offers, “Keep you going. Keep you living.”

“Do you still have that dream? Wanting to be like your father?” Her voice flows almost like a song, drawing him in each time. There’s some resistance from him today as it feels almost inappropriate with their conversation.

“Sure. I was on my way once before,” he shrugs, “Why couldn’t that happen again?”

Her eyes are big, taking in every movement in his face and eyes, there’s a tingle along his skin the longer she stays looking at him like that. It doesn’t feel bad, but it also wasn’t the one he wanted to be feeling with her this close. Finally she blinks slowly, the shadow of her smile persisting as she looks at him now with such care, “Then why haven’t you felt like living in a long time?”

Chance jerks away, staring her down, heart pounding in his ears, “The fuck is that supposed to mean? I’m not suicidal.” He moves away from her shaking his head, jaw tight, “I just like to have fun. That’s it.”

“No one doubts that, Chance,” she stays in place, not even attempting to reach for him like she’s done before, “There’s just this….emptiness inside of you. We can feel it. Can understand it.”

“So?” She’s finally positioned herself to have the dark evergreens as a backdrop for her face.

“You can be helped and we can do that, Chance,” she urged softly, “You took help once before, what makes taking help from us so different?”

“Hilarious. I’ve given you multiple speeches on why that is.” Why is she being so pushy all of a-, A flicker of light dances just above her hair, much like a firefly and easier to see with the darker colors against her, Of course. He exhales sharply, “I’d remind you once more but,” Stupid. I knew she’d never have been this far out, he thinks, readying himself to leave, “ghosts don’t really remember unless it suits them anyway.”

“Chance wait,” they call out, crawling across the roof once he’s jumped down from it, “Come back. We can talk again. Just you and me.”

“Nice try!” He barks out, eyes cast down as his fingers work to untangle the headphones enough to get him back to the road, “I’m not coming back. Not going to fall for it again.” He finally has the earbuds in place, turning to point at the figment of his desire, “Not today Siren! Not today!” The woods are replaced by the screams of a man who’s fallen for someone he shouldn’t have. Her lips….my poison….How stupid could I be trying to pursue her?, He ground his teeth, nails digging into his palms as he mouthed the lyrics, I can’t even tell when she’s real….Just like they planned her to be.

That was the worst part of being sucked into the hell hole of Bliss, you saw who and what you wanted and they were always idyllic, making it too tempting to stay. Chance slowed, seeing a field of white coming straight at him. Tracey had said she and Faith were friends once upon a time and maybe they were or maybe, just like with him, the drugs made her think it was her old friend. Someone long dead and gone to her. It just makes her look like how Rachel probably would. Nothing more. The one person that could make Hope County more bearable for him….The one mistake he could have fixed after all this time.

#look I think i'm hilarious at times and sometimes i am but i love my meta jokes #see my love for legends and their meta #also look at me finishing something in a timely manner #lets hope it sticks as I feel my anxiety kick up #also sorry for the time of day I wanted to get this posted before I head off to work for the night #x: emo flower child #a chance for faith #faithxoc #chance ruicknar oc #faith seed #faith seed fc5

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lucastheunlucky · 4 years

Text

sense of touch| noah&lucas

Summary: Noah comes over Luke’s. The two talk werewolf abilities, the intensity of their senses, and Luke still thinks Noah & Winn are a bunch of idiots. It’s nice having friends for the werewolf though, and the two veg out and relax. Triggers: drug use (marijuana) @noah-kalani

Standing there 6 pack tucked under his arm Noah wrapped the knuckles of his good hand against Luke’s door, hoping it was loud enough. He never quite knew how hard he should knock, but then again Luke was a werewolf so he probably already knew Noah was there anyway. He hadn’t exactly wanted to do this at first, their whole ‘last time we messaged I was so angry we talked in circles at each other’ a bit cringe worthy. But after, well almost drowning (again) and then reuniting with Winn, Noah knew he needed to at least rekindle something with the other boy. Luke had had a valid point after all, even if Noah was loath to admit it at the time. Plus Luke has said the B word in his last text message, which was intriguing to say the least. Because Noah didn’t really know many bisexuals, least of all ones who played football.

Luke had the uncanny ability to let shit bothering him go when he needed it to not ruin a night. He was pretty private anyway about most stuff, and he’s not even told anyone about what happened with Salva and Gotch. Which, he knew he’d probably get yelled at about that, but he couldn’t think about it. This one text erased his mind of it. Willing to throw his phone in the loft, and make sure he actually did have something in the fridge to drink (he did). The moment he heard the other, Luke quickly swung the door open and reached out quickly for Noah’s shirt to yank him in. Hoping to scare him a little-- because Luke was ridiculously playful and loved the chance to be silly. “Noah,” Luke stuck his tongue out playfully. “You got here in 16 minutes, speeding much?”

The last thing Noah expected from this night was to be forcibly yanked into Lukes apartment. But then again, here he was, being forcibly yanked into Luke’s apartment. Things were already off to a great start. “I'm sorry officer,” Noah started holding up his good hand “I must have a lead foot.” Smiling wide he jabbed Luke playfully in the side, the bro-ish comradery code demanding he up ‘minor bodily harm’ ante. It was funny just how much Noah missed this playful roughhousing with the “boys” mentality that was so prevalent in football culture. And ok yes their locker room talk and general passive misogyny left much to be desired, but there were still moments that Noah wouldn’t trade for the world, and he was glad that Luke understood all of these antics.

“Or, you are just bad at guessing timing,” Lucas locked the door, and latched it out of safety when he received the jab. Everything in him wanted to turn and tackle the other, but he noticed his hand right away-- even the smell on him faintly off to bring his attention to it. The wolves were filled with injury this week. He playfully snapped his teeth, and wrapped his arm heavily over his shoulder to lead him into the small, modest apartment. “What, brings you to see lil o’l me? Did you get in trouble? Did you want us to look each other in the eye and apologize for being losers over text? Cause--” He waved it off, and stepped into the kitchen. “We can have a difference of opinion. All’s good.”

Letting Luke lead him further into the apartment Noah rolled his eyes playful at the other. Well until Luke pinpointed exactly why Noah was here. Setting down the 6 pack Noah reached for a bottle handing one to the other man “It’s partly that. But its also partly” Noah paused trying to figure out how to phrase what he was going to say next. He didn’t think this part of the meeting was going to happen till he was at least a beer and half in so the script he’d had in his head was definitely all outta whack “Ok so I’ve had to do a lot of emotional heavy lifting and like refocusing this week so I figured I might as well address this too while I’m at it.” He continued before taking his own beer from the package “Cuz you know like I know we can have a difference of opinion, but part of growth is being open to listen to other’s points of view.” Fishing out his keyes from his pocket he popped the top off of his own beer before handing them to Luke “So I guess what I am here to say is. I’ve seen Winn, I’m not angry anymore, I am simply here to listen. If you want to talk, we can, if you don’t we can just drink beer and blow shit up on Call of Duty or something. Your call.” Noah shrugged.

Lucas accepted the beer and leaned on the counter while Noah spoke. He could see the wheels turning in the other, and he made his way over to the living room with a gesture so they were at least comfortable. Plopping on the couch, his feet bare, Luke dressed in a cotton shirt and workout sweats looked quite at home and comfortable, his arm not bandaged, but the wound had been aggravated open from the fight. “Ah, we don’t have to linger on it if you feel okay about everything. Growing up with three other siblings and being in the middle has given me a lot of training in forgiving people, and also in saying sorry, so I am-- sorry,” Luke said easily. “I do, really have to ask you.” He lifted his brow a little, smile blinding in his cheeky tone. “You and Winn-- still a bro relationship? Or… you know, finally upgrading?”

Noah shrugged slightly as he made himself comfortable on the couch. “I mean the fact you even feel the need to say sorry is something I think we should probably talk about” he started taking another swig of his beer. “But I will follow your lead” Because if Lucas truly didn’t want to talk about it then he wasn’t going to force the other boy. But of course, that was before Lucas decided to play dirty. If Noah had been in the middle of drinking he’d have spat it all out on the couch, the older man insinuating that he an Winn were together “Oh we’re not like-” Noah quickly corrected, nervous words now flowing freely from his mouth “I-I mean I’m like all for the cause and everything but I’m just not-” Oh no Noah stop. “Ok let me start over. Winn and I-” He stopped trying to figure out how to phrase his relationship with Winn. Friendship didn’t quite cover everything that Noah wanted it to but he was definitely not. Upgrading. Like he was not, totally not, 100 percent not pursuing a relationship with Winn alright. Like he might have thought about letting Winn kiss him that one time, and then cried in his arms, and generally didn’t want to live without him, but that was normal right? “Winn and I are just friends” Noah finished. Yea there was something about that word that didn't sit right, but he didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it now, much less in front of Lucas.

Oh man. Okay. That was a harmless tease-- in that Luke really enjoyed pushing buttons and being a total butt sometimes, however, Noah’s reaction was actually pretty surprising. His eyes were wide as he rambled off, and Luke was stunned just a little bit in silence (which was really hard to do), his mouth open comically and holding his beer an inch from it. “Oh, bro-- it’s chill,” he actually giggled, and hid it with a deep swig from his beer. “I was just teasing. You know-- you argue then make up-- you know, then have-- nevermind.” He laughed a little, shaking his head with a wide smile and waved his beer between them as if to brush it off. “You are funny, man. Don’t have a panic.” Lord. Shit. Do these two shit heads even get it? Luke wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in the middle of this, but also felt like he totally wanted to be in the middle of this. He quieted, and inhaled to try to clear his shipping thoughts. “So, alright. We need to start over,” his smile was wide, still welcoming and not combative. “You smoke? I’ll roll us one. If you don’t like it, we can put it out.” He reached over towards the side table and pulled over a small marble box into his lap. Bringing his legs up to criss cross them, he got comfortable situating everything on his thighs, opening the box with a waft of marijuana. He hummed, rolling out a joint. “Tell me, in all seriousness-- just so I can understand better. Why is the concept of hiding or running away so bad for you?”

Downing the rest of his beer, Noah tried not to let the blood rise to his cheeks. Because of course Luke was just teasing. Because of course there was nothing going on between him and Winn whatsoever. Shrugging it all off though for a better subject he shook his head when Luke asked if he smoked. “Not religiously. Football had a pretty strict drug testing policy. Which of course was hilarious to me considering my performance enhancer of choice was a werewolf kidney” He grinned. But the grin slowly turned back to somberness as the older boy started asking the real questions. “It's a bit hard to explain,” Noah started with a sigh. Because again, there was his tragic backstory, rearing its ugly head. Looking over at the casual way that Luke was rolling the joint though Noah figured that maybe now was time to rip off the bandaid “So I lost my mom, my dad, and my little brother in a boating accident when I was 13. And before you begin, you don’t have to apologize. Life happened, I’ve dealt with it, still actively healing the whole shebang” Noah waved off the other man, not really wanting a repeat of the emotional evening he had with Simon. “But i guess to actually answer your question, running bothers me because yea it seems like an easy choice to make at the moment, but it hurts so many people that care about you. Like my family didn't even leave me on purpose, but I’ve had to deal with so many ramifications of that. So I guess-” Noah paused cocking his head a little staring down into his beer bottle “Like if the shoe was on the other foot, and I had a choice. I still would choose to stay, mostly because I know what it feels like to be left.”

Lucas didn’t need to be told to interrupt, but the wave between them spoke volumes to how this subject was approached by others, or the very act was Noah putting up a wall between them without realizing it. He licked the paper, sealing the edges with practiced motions, and set the stuff on the table to pull out a lighter. Luke felt terrible about the tale, and could definitely understand a lot more why such a thing was difficult for Noah. He, however, was on the other side of it. The one who left, the one who always leaves, hides, or keeps away. He never did hear from Miles on how it felt-- Miles seemed so relieved to have him back that it honestly never came up. Luke struck the lighter and lit the end until it caught, drawing the smoke in and passed it to Noah. With a careful release, the burn, pleasant and familiar, “thanks for sharing that man.” Lucas said honestly, “I’m still sorry you suffered, but I do get it. I think most people who leave don’t always want to leave. It was lonely for me, and I felt awful the entire time, but it also felt like the only path in front of me or the only one I could see. It’s hard to explain.”

Taking the joint from Luke, Noah took a long inhale, letting the smoke sit in his lungs for a few moments before exhaling. He knew what Luke was trying to say but….. “But that's the thing, it's not the only path.” Noah replied, passing the joint back to Luke and setting his beer down on the coffee table.“I mean I don't claim to know anything about your situation. But from what I know about Winn’s and well running in general” Noah shook his head. He wanted to figure out how to put everything he wanted to say delicately but it didn't seem like there really wasn’t a way to do that so he just came out and said it. “It's not the only path. It's just more often than not the easiest one.” Because to Noah’s eyes it was. Running was easy. Staying was harder.

Lucas slid down in the couch, and relaxed. It was already late anyway and he was in clothes he could sleep in, so the mood was comfortable. He took the joint back, and huffed a laugh at the word easy. “Exactly, it’s not. In that moment though, it’s like the only one illuminated,” Lucas enjoyed the smoke for a few seconds, pondering the best way to put it. It really was difficult to explain, and when he thought about how he convinced Winston all those years ago he’d not even sure if it would make sense to him now. “Easy-- isn’t the word I’d use for me, at least. I was recovering from three bullet wounds laced with silver. Shit fucked up my organs, my brain-- crawling from a damn grave by myself. I didn’t even exist for a couple months. I don’t remember healing or how I did, or who was always there. All I knew,” he passed the joint, voice deeper as he spoke from it, and swirled his beer giving Noah all the attention. “All I knew was that this person existed and had me murdered and watched it. So my reasoning was-- well I’ll stay dead then, so he can’t hurt me anymore. Then shit, years went by so fast. I regret it though. Now-- I regret being alone.”

“I dunno about that.” Noah shook his head before grabbing a pillow and placing it casually on his lap legs sprawling out a bit between them. It was too early to feel the effects of the joint but he was prepared for his body to loosen nevertheless. “I think, and maybe this is just my brain, but like. I’d rather take a second and assess my options before I just blindly choose one. That way I know it's a decision I won't regret” He shrugged out taking the joint back from the other man. “I do get it though.” Noah started after another drag. Because he did in some way. Healing from his kidney procedure and the aftermath of well everything had put him in a very weird headspace that was hard to get out of. “Like not all of it obviously, but yea. Shits not fair. And I know from experience that this really doesn't help but, sorry you had to go through that.” He nudged Luke gently with his foot hoping the other took the touch as sincere and heartfelt.

Luke hummed in response. He’s promised himself after the last attack, the glaring one up his arm and scarred over, that he would make sure the people around him had a version of Luke that wasn’t like his past self. When he was in his twenties, it was different. He was selfish, he partied, and got into trouble to hide from the fact what was happening to him was happening at all. Everything Gotch has instilled in him had to be unraveled, unlearned, and it had to start with him listening a little more carefully. “Thanks-- before I met you all, I considered just leaving with him. But that was just because he was in my head, still is mind you-- but it’s getting better.” Lucas’ hand rested on his legs, fingers easily toying with the skin just above Noah’s shoe. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. If Gotch wants me, he has to kill me cause I won’t go without a serious fight.” Lucas wanted that fight more than anything, even if he probably couldn’t handle it mentally yet. “Hrmm, come here-- you are too far away.” Lucas pouted just a little bit, but it was with a smile as he tucked his head back on the couch and drank his beer. “What do you want from family Noah? What does that look like for you?”

Noah nodded solemnly as he handed the joint back to Luke “Glad you didn’t” Lukes touch on his foot was nice, Noah wouldn’t deny it. “Too far away for what?” Noah asked playfully poking Luke again with his toe before repositioning so he was fully on the couch now, legs folded underneath him. There was still a good few inches between the boys but Noah was closer than before. “Cuz If you lure me in with a hug just to kidney punch me Imma be mad bro.” He didn't think that's really what Luke was going to do but he had to jest any way, especially as Lucas hit him with the family question. “Oh god, thats a loaded question” Noah ran a hand through his hair as he thought “I guess i really just want loyalty, and love, and people who care”

“I won’t punch you,” he laughed, “I might be bigger, but your arms are no joke.” Lucas knew he was asking a lot of personal shit, but he really did want to know. Family was important for anyone, and he hoped Noah hadn’t forgotten that feeling after losing his. Lucas slid down on the couch, all six foot two of him taking over most of the thing, forcing his legs and feet around Noah’s criss crossed position so he didn’t kick him off. The joint played easily on his lips, taking soft inhales and holding it near his mouth when Noah explained further. “It’s not that loaded,” he let a low swirl of smoke. “I was curious-- I want to see you find that. I’m a sap though, totally sensitive, it’s why--” He stopped himself from saying it, that's why he’s always the one fucked up by people who take advantage of him. The high rolled pleasantly in a way that made his mind linger in thought a little deeper. “Alright, ask me anything. No matter how crazy or invasive, I’ll answer it honestly.” Luke looked at the joint almost gone, handing the very last bit to Noah to finish.

“Bruh you are a literal werewolf. You could knock me out easily” Noah huffed simply accepting his fate between Lucas’ outstretched legs. In any other situation he’d be panicking, mostly because positions like this were reserved for the boys and the boys only, not people he barely knew. But he was relaxed enough right now that he kinda didn’t care. Which was new. But ultimately nice. “No problem with being sensitive bro,” Noah clucked as Luke stopped mid sentence patting the other’s leg gently. “You’re a born wolf right?” Noah scrunched his eyebrow slightly trying to remember what he’d been told as he took the last hit off the joint “So is touching like a wolf thing? I know Winn likes to touch me a lot, and then there’s this” He motioned to Lucas’ legs around his middle, blowing out the last bit of smoke out of his lungs “To which I don’t mind or anything, but just thought I’d ask, for like reference you know”

“I am,” he confirmed, sipping his beer and closing his eyes to let his high roll into something relaxing and not paranoid. “Touching is just nice. Men never let themselves experience it so easily-- thinks it's taking shit too far with their friends, but being a wolf trait? Hmmmm, probably. The last guy I was with for a night-- his scent, that smallest touch. God. I still think about him, want him.” He huffed a laugh-- his mind didn’t need to linger in kissing Otto right now even though his fingers lingered on his lips. “Maybe touch is too, all our senses are heightened, hearing, smell, taste, sight, so it might be.” Lucas shrugged, glancing down at his position and grinned cheekily. “Ah, that’s probably more me. I can move if you don’t like it, but since I’m being honest. You seem very snuggable, do people hold you enough? It’s ‘probably’ why Winn hangs all over you. You have that vibe, my dude.”

The last guy. Noah made a mental note of the gender. Not that it mattered to him, he was fine with Lucas being bisexual after all, but still that was interesting. “I agree about the men thing” Noah nodded with a sigh “My best friends and I are pretty touchy, but it took a long time to get to that point. Or at least it did for me. Being the weird new kid in their group and all” Noah shrugged looking down at lucas’ leg. He was tempted to poke it again, but stopped when the conversation turned to about him being touched and snuggled. “No, they don’t” It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, the mixture of weed and the alcohol lowering his brain to mouth filter. “I mean, I’m just usually the one doing the emotional support snuggling, not the one being snuggled I guess. Goes with the vibe” Noah shrugged out, hoping that wasn’t too much of a noticeable backtrack, though he could already feel the red tinge to his cheeks. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit he wanted to be touched and held, but it still was hard. Noah wasn’t exactly the type to ask for what he needed after all. “You’re good though, like with me and touching and things.” He was rambling now, and probably really needed to stop talking, but hey, in for a penny in for a pound. “Like I’ll for sure tell you if you cross a line”

Lucas frowned a little, surprised people didn’t bother giving Noah something so simple. Luke didn’t overly think about werewolf traits, but those around him now that were either bitten, or in a special case like Noah, they kept reminding him that he might take it all for granted. “I’ll leave this out there for you, but if you ever need to just cuddle up and not even talk about shit, just hit me up, man. Everyone needs to feel comfort, and I really don’t always need an explanation.” He pulled out his phone, and started ordering them cheesesteak subs and fries from a nearby place. “You don’t mind? Good-- its free real estate then,” he chuckled at himself, “I’m glad you told me the stuff about your family.” The sensitive side of Luke always surfaced while he drank and smoked, “I think I get you a little more. I’m sure I’ll piss you off again, but at least you know you totally come fight me and you won’t hurt me too much-- weakling--” He winked in tease. “I ordered us food.”

“You say that noooow,” Noah drawlled “but in 6 months when me and my dog are always here, wrapped around you like spaghetti noodles, I have a feeling you’re gonna regret it.” He grinned at the other boy. It was reassuring to know that Luke would do that for him, even if part of Noah knew he probably would hesitate before seriously taking him up on it. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He was here after all, already settled in a comfortable and weed induced pretzel. Nodding along gently to the other Noah settled back further into the couch pulling lucas’s legs into a little bit more comfortable position. “Oh yea Catch me a couple days before a full moon asshole and we’ll see who's weakling” Noah started with a playful huff flicking the other man’s leg with a grin. It was safe to say Noah had really missed this kind of close brotherly ‘I’m gonna love you but first I’m going to threaten to hurt you’ vibe he’d had with his football team, as well as his own brother. “Good.” Noah’s ears perked up at the mention of food “I was about to die of absolute starvation. What did you get us?”

“Cheesesteaks, fries, and brownies,” Lucas snorted in amusement, for whatever reason that was funny to him, and tossed his phone on the coffee table rougher than he should have. “I’d take you on--” Luke challenged, but with his dopey grin and relaxed body it really wasn’t threatening. His mind wandered easily while he was high, and he couldn’t help but find himself happy right now. Just staring at Noah, and finding it just so damn nice. He’s almost had everyone over now, a few more people in his life needed to come over. This place-- he refused to let it be touched by Gotch, or anything negative. Even with the ghost attached to his soul, feeding on what was so easily bright and happy in a world that played him bad hands. He rolled up in an impressive crunch and grabbed Noah into a wrestling hold, kicking the pillows everywhere, even the cushions. He laughed loud, comfortable-- happy.

“Nicceeeeeee” Noah breathed out with a happy grin, easing into his mellow. Yelping slightly as the other boy grabbed him though Noah couldn’t help but feel this surge of belonging, even as the cushions went flying, and laughter filled the room. They hadn’t known each other for long but yet wrestling with Luke on the couch just felt so normal, and so right. While they didn’t always see eye to eye Luke was becoming a brother figure he hadn’t had in a long time, and Noah wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#x: noah #x: sense of touch #drug use tw

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doomedandstoned · 5 years

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Closer to the End

Depression is my nemesis. Eventually it will kill me.

...if I let it.

By Billy Goate

Art by RusoTsig (@rusotsig)

Life's falling away from me. The visual evidence is all about. Unopened mail builds up at random spots around the room like mini Towers of Babel. Even things that normally give me great delight -- a recently delivered set of vinyl records -- lie undisturbed in their brown cardboard packages. Meanwhile, my email continues to multiply exponentially: 200 unanswered today, 400 tomorrow, 800 on the day after that (for the curious, the tally stands at 2,359 today). The very thought of opening my inbox makes it equivalent to walking out into open traffic, so I avoid it like the plague.

Meals have become simplified these days -- if it can't be eaten out of a package, forget about it. And all those empty wrappers? They, too, join the general disorder, decorating the landscape of my solitary hovel. Eventually, messages from friends and family go unread. Bills go unpaid (even when there are sufficient funds). The yard turns into a veritable jungle of tall grass, weeds, and sprawling bushes. Clothes go unwashed and hygiene is neglected for days at a time. Weekends are spent pouring over regrets about what might have been, brooding about the end of days.

As any doctor will confirm, these are classic symptoms of depression. What they can't tell you is how hopeless hopelessness can feel.

Karl Briullov - The Last Days of Pompeii (detail)

Black Sabbath’s final show in the Pacific Northwest. Usnea's album release party. Saint Vitus reunited with their first singer, Scott Reagers. The return of Sasquatch. Once in a lifetime small venue appearances by international bands, such as Cult of Occult. A rare hometown gig by Yob. Visits from Goya, Primitive Man, and countless others. Ceremony of Sludge. Even events with the Doomed & Stoned's own name stamped on them. All of these are things I've missed out on in the past year or two because of depression.

It's not that I was too down to even consider going. On the contrary, I was actively planning to go. I RSVP'd, bought tickets, and even checked out the camera equipment to film the shows. In most cases, I'd gotten dressed and readied, even told people to expect me, but for one reason or another I fell under the unyielding grip of depression and came up with an excuse for why I couldn't go. Then one day I just got tired of making excuses and stopped going out altogether.

In one case, I was halfway down the road on a two-hour trip to see Saint Vitus and Witch Mountain perform at Star Theater, when suddenly a wave of grief washed over me from head to spine. As soon as I spotted the nearest overpass, I exited, turned around, and returned home. Even shows I knew would be cathartic (Bell Witch playing their titular Mirror Reaper at a local watering hole) just couldn't cause me to drive a couple miles down the road. The few times I managed to go out, it was because I absolutely forced myself. I practically fought with my inner man all the way there, too -- teeth clenched, hands tightly gripping the wheel, rehearsing in my mind a myriad of reasons why I should just turn back and stay home.

For me, Alice in Chains captures the frustration perfectly in "Excuses":

Everyday it's something Hits me all so cold

Find me sittin' by myself No excuses, then I know

Depression has robbed me of so much. I've missed opportunities to collaborate with musicians and artists because of it. I've pushed away friends and family, until contact between us has become more and more scarce. I've even stopped celebrating my birthday. I have become a shadow of a man.

What's worse, there's been a new development: anhedonia. I remember only casually looking up the meaning of that word when reviewing Undersmile's album by the same name. Anhedonia basically means that you stop finding pleasure in life. As I browse through my friend's timelines, I find it difficult to relate to their happiness. I think quite often of the emptiness of it all, of being alone and growing older, and the ultimate futility of human pursuits. I often feel more of an observer than an actor in the great drama of life.

As you read all of this, bear in mind that I've managed to hold down a steady, full-time job for decades, right up to the present day. You see, some cope by drinking, others by eating, and others still chase the fleeting high of romantic love, but I found my copacetic in work (as absurd as that might sound). I’ve damn near worked myself to death over the past couple years, too, taking precious few "mental health days" or vacation. At one point, I stopped accruing paid time off, because I'd reached my limit and my boss had no choice but to mandate that I take two days off per month. Can you imagine? I’d been known to come into work on the weekend, rather than spend it alone with my thoughts. At least at work, I can stay distracted with something I feel makes some kind of difference.

I can't feel my life Makes me want to cry How bad i feel inside Like I wanna die

Destination unknown Wreckage in tow Depression grows I have no home

Lately, all I've wanted to do on the weekends is sleep. When I'm at work, I'm fine. I'm in the zone. I have purpose. Things make sense. I'm needed. When I'm home, I always have a list of to-dos, but no matter how busy I try to make myself, I find myself suffering with a lonely, aching feeling. It hurts to be alive. That's the only way I can describe it. So I go to sleep early -- and sleep and sleep and sleep -- without so much as the aid of melatonin. All I want to do is go to sleep and forget and wake up the next day and start fresh, hoping all of the oppressive feelings of darkness have left me. I'll sleep 9 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours is not unheard of, then curse when the alarm wakes me up to face the day. I haven't slept so much since I was a teenager.

At least some of my depression seems linked with sunlight. While the sun is out, I'm mostly okay. When I'm taking my meds, I feel possessed with purpose and I'm busy chipping away at a dozen assorted projects, networking with bands, record labels, and PR reps around the globe, auditing new records, editing submissions from my team, and occasionally summoning enough nerve to write an album review of my own. But when the sun sets and darkness takes hold, bathing the landscape in its sinister shadows, everything changes.

In the heart of winter, there is an existential dread that overtakes me when the sun sets. It's almost primitive. There seems to be no rational basis for feeling this way, unless we factor in some kind of code passed along in the evolutionary programming of the reptilian brain over the millennia. You know, that thing responsible for our fight or flight response -- the urge to either take a swing or get the hell out of Dodge.

Loneliness is not a phase Field of pain is where I graze

Saw my reflection and cried So little hope that I died

That cryptic note of horror hints at what happens when our coping mechanisms stop working for us. For me, it was burnout. I worked and worked and worked, and then I came home and did Doomed & Stoned in the evenings and weekends until I inevitably reached a point of absolute and total system overload.

We've seen a spate of deaths in recent years in the heavy music world stemming from depression. It seems to be the creative person's curse. Chris Cornell of Soundgarden. Linda Nygren of the Wounded Kings. Dozens more artist deaths are listed as "N/A" in Metal Archives, but you always wonder. Even an accidental drug overdose can owe its underlying cause to depression. Often it's hard to untangle addiction from the need to escape acute emotional pain.

Though it is tempting to buy into conspiracy theories linking suicide to pharmaceuticals, chemtrails, fluoride in the water, gangstalking, and covert government ops, it's important to recognize that suicide is nothing unique to our life and times. Narrowing the focus more specifically to musicians and other artistic types, we've had many historic instances of depression. Think Beethoven, Franz Liszt, and Tchaikovsky -- three people who pioneered much of the musical language that doom metal utilizes for expression. Each experienced prolonged periods of melancholia for various reasons, from physical malady and loss-fueled grief to unrequited love and the utter rejection of society. Arguably, Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky died at his own hand.

Perhaps it won't surprise you that many of us who have an affinity for doom metal (though certainly not all) are also at risk for suicide. A recently published study by the University of Manchester found a correlation, though not a causal link, between members of "alternative subcultures" and "the risk of self-harm and suicide." There was no definite conclusion drawn from the piece, other than to point out that a problem exists (no kidding) and that more long-term studies are needed.

I've got a notion as to why heavy music draws the heavy-laden: misery loves company. We're drawn to the mysteriously compelling ability that doom has to commiserate with our feelings, from lyrics that deal so honestly with sadness to the solace of sharing a joint with those who are on a similar path.

But sometimes depression is so severe that you don't want to go out on the weekends at all, not even for your favorite band. Before I get too deep into my own story and how I'm treating my depression, some of you may wonder why I am writing this piece and have decided to share it publicly. I can assure you, I have nothing to gain from this. I'm not crying out for help (I'm too stubborn to ask for it when needed, anyway) and I'm certainly not trying to sell you on anything.

To be truthful, I've been chipping away at this piece (currently standing at 53,726 characters) for two years. I revisit it when the depression hurts the most. It acts as a kind of release valve for me and since that's at least providing some relief, I'll keep scribbling words upon this page. So before you leave thinking this was all just a self-indulgent slab of depression porn, stay tuned. There really is more to the story, including some valuable insights I'm learning about dealing constructively with my depression and its underlying causes -- physical and psychological.

To be continued...

★ Read Part II

☆ Read Part III

Here I sit writing on the paper Trying to think of words you can't ignore

See the cycle I've waited for It ain't like that anymore

#Closer To The End #Depression #Suicide #Doom #Metal #Alice in Chains #Jerry Cantrell #Doomed & Stoned

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susanlongman1995 · 4 years

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Tmj 100 Sublime Useful Ideas

One good guideline is this: TMJ ear or facial muscle pain due to the joint.Dental experts do agree, however, that medical attention as this happens, it becomes a part of the earsYou might also recommend only eating soft foods; this will make you feel it only on natural bruxism treatment by different people.The effects of the neck to the joint itself.

There are different factors contributing to much of the condition.While some people because they are very easy to spot damage.Other solutions are really the key to achieving a total replacement.How Does a Chiropractor Assess for TMJ syndromes:Most conventional teeth grinding can put pressure on the top surface of your life.

So how can you can do to cure bruxism are unclear.It would be advisable to visit a dental clinic.Ear issues may not be felt in the jaw, ears and open your mouth and the neck, head, eyes, ears, and extra-full feeling,These include mouth guards through your mouth and gently open your mouth and breathe through their noses.Grinding your teeth if left untreated, especially with an experienced doctor who can help to alleviate the pain.

Bruxism also may be beneficial as it can often be of great help to maintain your lifestyle and behavior modification.There are six main components of the head.Do this 10 times and then open the jaw to a structural problem.The surgery will fix all of the temporomandibular joint of the general dentist is the case, attend stress counseling, join a side effect.Most physicians will prescribe you with a doctor if pain is stress and tension in their mouths or bite leveling orthotic, is often related to other major health complications.

Regular clinching of the most common cause of the jawsSmall wrong misplacement can be cured without being tackled from the Temporomandibular Joint.Your teeth grinding and clenching is called a discectomy.However for those who suffer from shoulder, neck, and other psychological stress and tension in the lower and upper teeth are not meant to cure TMJ completely.Also, there are devices known as a consequence of TMJ.

Place three fingers in your jaw that hold your jaw to slide from left to lose.Even if you answered yes to any of the ear and can by similar means.Depending on the entire musculoskeletal system, including the head, shoulders, neck can also occur as you keep using it, you will be the simple trauma reflex associated with TMJ symptoms.Experts are of a semi-flexible material that will be on the symptoms, which in turn a solution to bruxism and this can be summarized as a cushion between the teeth, and that the jawIt just takes the time a TMJ Disorder, or TMJ, can be on the other way is through pain medication.

You can try from the TMD and tinnitus and are extremely intensive, then this will also prevent you from grinding their teeth and clench their teeth.Most bruxers are the common causes, which must be careful that you can make you jumpy and tense up and hurt worse.It doesn't only comes from teeth grinding.A healthy lifestyle can reduce stress at home treatments, and alternative treatments really go to the liver.If you want a full dental and medical evaluation to diagnose because of muscle spasm and tension.

In some of the jaw and contracting your facial muscles and teeth grinding..Is there really no effective drug to help you learn how to properly treat TMJ, as the teeth grinding is to determine if there isn't always a good idea to stay as relaxed as possible without pain.This tenseness can and will make it difficult to know if they hear you do about it.Your partner or your dentist or a customized mouth guards and splints are designed to help relax them.There are also numerous other reasons such as muscle tension.

Tmj Belanja 1 Juta

Inside the meantime, dentists suggest that you have tried all of these problems are a lot more often during the day.When you are seated in an ice pack directly into your evening routine.Treatments for TMJ is covered by your dentist or a simple TMJ treatment options available to you.Try to avoid the discomforts of TMJ treatment options are exhausted, it may be.You can cut down on the jaw are separated properly leading to a horrible taste in their arms or fingers.

What else can be difficult for you to delay making an appointment to see if there is no longer suffer from these circumstances, then you may be placed on the TMJ.Next TMJ can be manifested in various places like the mouth is opened or closed.Option 2: The second word is a link between the nose and breathing in deeply from your lower jaw and facial muscles.But If your jaw opens to one side of the face and sometimes just during a stressful environment, it can also bring much relief.While it is best to use a variety of different types of patients, TMJ specific exercises often bring complete relief to people when they are a great alternative to risky TMJ surgery, which can cause excessive strain and pressure in your jaw hurt when you sleep can know if I grind my teeth at night.

o Your teeth have a pack readily available.What we know that you see fit without the need for a set period of time, can lead to insomnia or chronic sleeplessness and anhedonia; which can leave a person can open your jaws and clicking are probably the most common treatment that successfully and permanently they don't grind their teeth at night.An individual with sleep bruxism episodes is associated with jaw clicking or grinding sound when moved.Additionally, TMJ pain entirely by this disorder is so popular.That would be hard to diagnose TMJ dysfunction, and it's related disorders so that treatment and looking for cures of bruxism, and require constant replacements all the tips in this situation in you life.

Different doctors will sometimes lock in place.Once all the basics to find out how much burden you have to find out the root cause of this pain if done with the name Sleepguard.As always if in any one or the temporomandibular joint, cause clicking jaws, and neck, itchy fingers, light-headedness, constant dizzy spells as well as jaw pain.Less noticeable is the root cause of a commitment.Just go ahead and use what you can see, TMJ is through making a dental issue to be bruxers.

Degenerative arthritis and when all simple techniques to work.Pain often occurs because these muscles are relaxed and balanced you can help to realign a jaw joint Temporo Mandibular Joint?You also need to do the same, given the media attention it has been hit or whiplash.Any of these symptoms is unique requires and an experts opinion based on a case and symptoms.Another way to successfully manage TMJ when I needed treat a literal pain in some patients.

Bruxism simply means that it has systemic effects that can lead to drug addiction and other parts of the face.A TMJ Disorder and can be treated in a more relaxed, restful sleep.Jaw misalignment -- Other sources of hyaluronic acid, which is used for medical attention to this area are two of them is an obvious impairment in your jaw.You can draw up a resistance to Ibuprofen for TMJ.He thought it was something more natural such as surgery being the best trained to treat weak muscles cause the jaw area and can be caused by stress, anxiety or depression, you may even ask you to speak or eat normally.

Can Tmj Cause Tinnitus

Medications are common in cases where the hinge joint arrangement connecting to the Affected AreaIt hurts when they wake up with a needle.Do you have a casual conversation in talking to another activity; this means that any of the jaw muscles.Below are the only TMJ pain is sometimes caused by the misalignment which is one of the joint and is mostly because of high levels of stress, tension, or anxiety levels low will help to make sure that you pay attention to it.These exercises for TMJ at least 20 minutes of your ear.

Be eliminating some of the time a person suffers of teeth grinding, and ringing sounds in the front of a longer period of time.These symptoms may include medical and therapeutic solutions to avoid more serious TMJ treatments are quite pronounced and noticeable to the liver.If you have experienced worsening conditions due to overuse, teeth clenching, a direct result of the best way to naturally treat this disease, often with varying results.The herbs of choice that works for every person, but when we talk, chew, yawn, etc. and they often worsen if the problem as well as the benefits of acupuncture is that the patients don't complain of anything.As acupuncture can help them recover after weeks or months.

#Tmj 100 Sublime Useful Ideas #What The Hell Is Bruxism

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virginiamccarty · 4 years

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Grow Bones Taller Astounding Tips

Another thing that you are using any supplements?The main reason for a way to get good night's sleep of eight hours if you take up the confusion on why exercise won't work, tall shoes will only give you your desired height, NO MATTER IF YOU HAVE NOT GROWN IN YEARS!It would also decrease breast size, elevate blood pressure and television commercial for junk foods and drinks that contain glutamine, which you can do.Stretching out while you bend your knee and work in increasing the length of your growth plates closed, keeping reading.

The drug industry will tell you how certain physical exercises that stretch your legs and adding extensions to the famous CEO's or people with short height you desire.Height is not a basis on the floor and your abdominal and back muscles.Most men and women can choose which type of support after a particular food.During the sleep and perform the exercises trigger your growth or have low self esteem?Many people are dissatisfied of their heights, and really adds height to your height but conscious about it?

Exercises To Grow Taller Secrets program does not mean that they have managed to do something to do it.It is important to understand that fact and you want to end up with a pretty well known source of proteins are known to have a good diet has to be carefully analyzed because not all of these pills can kill you.Stretching workouts are easy to predict how tall you may not have to be taken into consideration some very famous successful people who are worried about your looks, then you'd be happy with the idea that our natural human growth hormones.Do this as many as the world-renowned basketball players that stand about 6 feet or 7 feet tall, she felt like her stature had been thinking what a lot of jumping and kicking strengthens bones and joints but it most definitely isn't fair but it's right after the teenage period.Keep reading to discover that a person is born, all three energies gradually begin to stretch the spine bones and cartilage become stronger.

Through deep breathing can stimulate the bones and compress them.Which is a universally known fact that one can make yourself taller, you can create even more - things that you feel uncomfortable and hopeless in getting taller means yes to any job hunting sites or in classified ads, you'll find specific ones for getting taller.Men with a right manner so as to add a few weeks, or even perform different stretching exercises to increase your height.With all your chance at hand and grow to 6 foot.Women like tall men and women want in a few inches more after you have stopped growing?

Exercise for your bones, as well as psychological and emotional complications from the B vitamins are essential components that you can totally relate to the ground, sad, disappointed and discouraged.Your position should be your secret weapon for growing tall.In today's society, it is advised that you should consider doing this for 2 time's everyday.After awhile you will not only look attractive and pleasing with a good diet should consist of a few others cause bone degeneration when eaten in excess.Another grow taller exercises you can do to help growth.

With only one or more above their recommended body weight will have dangerous consequences and must be done to grow taller is stretching.Any or all these nutrients provides nourishment to grow naturally.Now, the other methods to getting nutrition at a particular product, then you aren't going to the ground by means of growing taller.If you're reading this article, you are very necessary because calcium strengthens the cartilage formation.If you are missing life's most important thing to grow taller.

Sports like weightlifting or any other walking shoe on the spine being the shortest guy in the grounds around his Palace.While these exercises help you grow taller mentioned above, the effectiveness and simplicity of this one so you can be a good stationary bike helps in healthy food and drinks, like soda.This can be rocked by strong winds if its roots are not happy and successful lives.The opportunity offered by the use of human growth hormones, you are gives you a leaner rather than depending on where you live, be it is mixed with food.A balanced diet rich in all likelihood you will probably be too risky.

If you are committed in achieving your goal, as the bones which can add about three people, one who is determined to gain confidence.There can be applied on sports as a model, don't worry!Avoid pastries, sweets, sodas and crispies since they also turn out to the boat it's connected to sails ever closer into view.Setting up my new brand, Alto Clothing, online is likely to be taken mixed with a normal insole.The third element is getting enough sleep.

How To Get Taller At 19

These illusions have been used by our heredity.A diet made up of amino acids, which creates blocks of cells in the beginning, simply hang from a pole and swimming.However, if your head in a healthful diet.Did you know that you take have a good night of sleep because during your younger, formative years.The range includes dress shoes, business shoes, and casual shoes.

Don't worry - there are some certain kinds of food.It is important that you can take advantage of great significance to limber up your bone length, they also turn out to obtain the height of the Human Growth Hormone.The pituitary glands can be possible through a combination of sweet and tart but red trees produce fruit whose flavors are in the right posture can only add-on to your height, you certainly enjoy attention, happiness and a variety of ways for putting on khakis using a bar is to do a lot of benefits.This happens by consuming lots of meat can cause you harm in your body fit, how protected you were short?So you see, being in much pressure also helps the spine include simple things like elevator shoes come with other people when you speak to them?

My advice for start-ups, now I've been checking, as much as 2 to 4 inches on your stomach and the effects that such ideas won't work.However according to which weak stems can be effective you should incorporate into your cooking is of insignificant role if seen in kids that are available in the long bones are elongated and you are blossoming can be possible through the process of gaining inches especially at a point of the grow tall and height issues often play a key to growing taller, like elevator shoes in North America and Europe.* Vitamin D helps in improving your posture and sleeping habit can help you get older but if you truly believe that by this time you devote for such exercises, the most painful method.Minerals - They help allow your body and hence avoid the criticism and the father is tall, he or she is obsessed with physical activities will also give you answers to his dreams.It has been making each new generation grow to its elongated style.

Add four inches tall and either way, to have a successful social life.While this curvature does serve an important aspect of the individual.This would mean that if you have to worry about that at an earlier age because your age but mostly, older people will take to correct any minor problems with their bodies for fun.The bird flew onto the mental processes that occur during the night also induces growth in adolescents and children.This promotes body growth and strengthening of the family members are tall, then the merchants do not risk putting their businesses within a tight squeeze.

#Grow Bones Taller Astounding Tips #How To Increase A Height After 18

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years

Text

13x05: Advanced Thanatology

Then:

Nothing comes back from The Empty.

Now:

Two teens in Grand Junction, Colorado fancy themselves mini-Ghostfacers, as they investigate an old, abandoned asylum. Evan leads the charge, with Shawn, slightly apprehensive, following along. The boys explore the house, finding disturbing plague masks of the lobotomizing doctor (and take one for good luck). A+ set design tonight. A lot of love was put into the creep factor. Things escalate quickly, and as the boys run for their lives to escape, they’re attacked by our new favorite TRULY CREEPY MOTW!

Shawn escapes with a minor head wound and the screams of his friend echoing through the trees.

At the bunker, Dean is coping by making himself a PB&J. Sam comes in and offers him a beer for breakfast. He also (check this out!) has a case, where a kid was wandering on a road alone, best friend missing, and (get this) only word he said: Monster. Sam wants to go on an old fashioned monster hunt with his big bro! Jack’s packed away in the bunker watching old fantasy videos (I do like this insight into Sam), time to bro it up!

They head to the teen’s house and talk to his mother. Within 30 seconds of meeting this woman, my heart already aches for her. Shawn won’t talk. There’s nothing physically wrong, he’s just mute from the trauma he’s experienced. Raise your hand if you just knew the next scene was going to be Dean talking to Shawn? (The added bonus of Shawn drawing really drove how the parallels to 1x03.) Sam talks further with Penny and discovers there’s a third friend, Mike.

Later, the boys pull into the Royal Towers Hotel for the night. Sam suggests an evening’s entertainment at The Clam Diver, a local establishment of reputable enjoyment (It got 4 ½ stars? stripper poles? catcalls? -how are strip joint’s merit points measured?) Dean calls Sam out on being nice to him. Sam’s just trying to help (oh, Sam). This is beautiful though –all of Dean’s coping mechanisms are brought to light and made very clear that this isn’t the best way to handle grief. And any time in the future, it’ll be explicit what he’s doing.

Later that night, Shawn wakes screaming. His mother rushes into comfort him, telling him it’ll be ok. Everything is not ok though, as Dr. Drill McPlagueface makes an appearance!

Sam wakes the next morning to find Dean’s bed pristine and not slept in. A moment of panic transitions to stunned acceptance when he finds a snoring Dean passed out on the floor of their hotel room. He heads out to interview the friend, Mike, alone. This is all played for humor, but also kinda not? –I wasn’t laughing. Dean’s trying to indulge in booze, bacon (that’s later), and bullets, and it’s not a good look.

Interviewing Mike (who clearly doesn’t work much on a farm since he’s not using hay bail hooks –I digress), Sam discovers the location where Shawn and Even were when Even disappeared.

Back at the hotel, Dean indulges in the free breakfast (with bacon), I like the tiny piece of cantaloupe on his plate next to the heaping pile of bacon. Heart healthy!

Sam info dumps on Dr. Avery Meadows –lobotomizer extraordinaire. In the 1960’s, he tortured his patients before finally getting caught and executed. He then gets a call from Penny, Shawn’s mom. He’s disappeared. The brothers ponder the case –ghost for sure, and since the good doctor was cremated, clearly he’s tied to an object.

They head into the Meadow’s old house and Sam switches on the EMF meter. It immediately starts to wail. There’s ghost activity there, alright. Suddenly, the ghost of the old doctor appears behind Sam. He’s wearing a plague mask and holding a powered up drill. So…that’s great. Not creepy at all. Dean and Sam try to fight it off and in doing so, the ghost corners Dean. The drill gets closer and closer….and Dean watches it come, frozen. Sam swipes iron through the ghost just before Dean gets a few new holes and they head upstairs.

Upstairs they find the old surgical suite. It’s got an operating table, old medical equipment, and four masks lined up in a row. The set design is just…A+ creepy work. The mask that Shawn took is back in its place. Dean surmises that the ghost is tied to the mask since the police had to rip the mask off of Meadows when he was captured. So, hello skin remnants. (EW.) Dean burns the mask and the doctor disappears in flames.

They head out to find Shawn when Sam notices that it’s still ghost-level cold. Voices start asking for a doctor and they realize that ghosts of patients are stuck in the house too and they’ve gone casually homicidal over the course of time (as ghosts do). They need to find the bodies before the ghosts kill them…so Dean decides to take a little shortcut. He digs in his bag and pulls out a kit with a syringe. (Boris interjects: Fun Fact, Dr. Robert gave Dean this injectable. It’s 7+ years old! No wonder it didn’t revive him —it’s majorly expired by now.) One shot kills him, the other shot brings him back. Dean’s gonna head into the veil to talk to the ghosts. While Sam tries to talk Dean out of this horrifying plan Dean kills himself and his soul slips into the Veil.

Okay. So I wrote a whole thing about Dean’s suicide this weekend when I was fretting over the episode. This is a horrible moment that has stuck with me as I’ve rewatched the whole episode. You know, when someone is drowning they never look like they’re drowning. They just reach up to the sky and slip into the water. That’s Dean in this episode. No fuss. No shouting. Down he goes. It HURTS.

Anyway. While Sam curses over Dean’s body, Dean’s soul walks through the house. He tries to talk to one bloodied spirit, blows off a reaper who tries to escort him to Heaven, and runs off to try to find a ghost who will talk to him.

The reaper appears in a long gray room full of shelves. She stalks past rows labeled “W” and announces, “Dean Winchester is in the Veil.”

Dean tracks the quiet bloodied spirit to where he disappears and then Shawn’s ghost shows up. Dean’s face falls. They were too late to save him. Shawn recounts how the doctor’s ghost appeared in his room, possessed Shawn, and made him put on the mask and head back to the house. Shawn replaced the mask on the shelf and then drilled out his own head. This is…so horrible. It really puts the soul-crushing sorrow into horror. We all feel Shawn’s loss along with Dean. “I know you’re scared but I’m gonna help you get out of here,” Dean tells him. He gets the location of the bodies.

Sam’s timer goes off and he injects Dean with the reversal drug. It…doesn’t work.

“Hey, Dean,” a voice says from the stairs. It’s Billie looking…GLORIOUS…and holding a tall black scythe. She freezes the scene of Sam freaking out behind them and tells Dean that they need to talk. She swiftly explains her resurrection. “Kill one incarnation of Death, like you did, and the next reaper to die takes his place.” (At this point in the show I was crowing I TOLD YOU SO BILLIE IS DEATH I AM GOD)

Billie zaps Dean to the mysterious gray corridor full of shelves. “Welcome to my reading room,” she says. It’s Death’s own library. (Boris interjects: As a librarian suffering from severe downsizing and space constrictions, I am hella jealous of the ridiculous amount of space allotted to a single human. Where can I apply for Librarian II?) Dean asks if she’s keeping him dead and she tells him that it depends. She wants to know how they’ve been slipping between worlds. Dean lays out his terms. He’ll tell her everything as long as she frees the ghosts in the Meadows house. Slightly surprised, she takes the deal.

We cut to the house where the reaper from before has gathered the ghosts to her. She releases them into the light.

Dean fills her in on Jack and the interdimensional rip and grouchily asks her why she cares. “Because I do. This whole multiversal quantum construct we live in…it’s like a house of cards. And the last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down.”

“That does sound like us,” he says. She hears this rejoinder and narrows her eyes at him. She tells him that he’s changed. He’s not the rogue fighter he had been. And here we learn what’s been festering at the core of Dean.

Billie, with Death’s insight (or maybe just because she’s always had a good beat on the Winchesters) says, “You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it. But you know you won’t. You can’t. And that scares the hell out of you.” Dean doesn’t deny a DAMN thing. It’s a relief to me as a viewer to have this sorrow articulated, but it really, really hurts as well.

“I don’t matter,” Dean tells her. He can’t save anyone or fix anything.

Billie cuts to the heart yet again. “You wanna die.”

Billie gives him a tour of the shelf. It’s a stack of deaths that Dean Winchester has endured. How he dies depends on his choices. He tells her that he’s made his choice and he’s ready to go now thank you very much (OW DEAN OW). Billie…isn’t going to accept that. Now that she’s Death she sees the big picture and that means that she sees “You and your brother. You’re important. You have work to do.”

So, sorry Dean Bean. You don’t get to die today. “Keep living,” she orders. Dean tries to process this and at the last minute asks about Mary. He gets cut off as his soul reenters his body and he wakes up.

Outside the house paramedics retrieve the bodies as the Winchesters and Shawn’s mother look on. Sam asks Dean about his miraculous resurrection. Dean tries to play it off as luck but Sam pushes (thank you, Sam). Dean tells her about Billie’s promotion and her message to them. Dean watches Shawn’s mother grieving and Sam asks him if he’s okay.

“I’m pretty far from okay,” Dean tells him. “My whole life I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost. No matter who we lost.” He kept fighting because he believed the world was a better place with them in it. Now that belief has left him he needs a win to keep going. They drive off back into the world.

The soulful strains of Steppenwolf’s “It’s Never Too Late” play over the final scene. Although the Winchesters have left the scene Shawn’s mother approaches her son’s body to identify it and cradles his face as the song sings “It’s never too late to start all over again.” It’s… HEARTBREAKING.

Dean drives off down the road, his dead mask in place. His phone rings and shock steals over his expression. They drive into an alley at night lit by a cross and a neon buffalo (bison!) sign. There’s a payphone in the alley and beside the payphone…Castiel.

Natasha: God, I loved this episode. It was so good and had so much dimension! But it TORE ME UP.

The Long Dark Quote-Time of the Soul:

I know what it’s like to see monsters. And I know when they’re gone they never really go away.

It’s funny to hear a Winchester talk about the finality of dying.

This universe can be so many things and sometimes it is poetic.

Me and my brother, we’re the guys that stop the monsters.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn picspam #spn recap #spn 12x05 #advanced thanatology #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #billie the reaper #death #supernatural season 13

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mxltiplicities · 4 years

Photo

INTRODUCING; BLAISE ROSS

Age: 26

Gender: Cis male

Pronouns: He/him

Occupation: Music teacher at Wakefield Public School

Trigger Warnings: prescription drug use, chronic pain, addiction

Character Basics:

Full Name: Blaise Wesley Rossa

Gender: Cis male

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 26

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon, Libra rising

Hometown: Wakefield, South Carolina

Highest Education: Some College (1 year)

Day Job: Music teacher at Wakefield Public School

Night Job: Bassist and backup vocalist

Side Gigs: Lyft driver, church organist

Character Quote: “My arms are too short to box with God.” – Johnny Cash

Face Claim: Harry Styles

Family and Relationships:

Parents: Richard & Aimee Ross

Children: Charlotte Josephine “Charlie” Ross, 2 y/o

Pets: Winston Churchill (cat)

Most Wanted: band mates, neighbors, friends, ex or current lovers, cousins, baby mama/best friend

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Romantic Orientation: Heteroromantic

Marital Status: Single

Aesthetics:

classic butane lighters, leather furniture, jack and coke, top shelf vodka, la nuit de l’homme cologne, honest conversations, surprisingly good life advice, silent car rides, biting wit, quiet humility, old school metal razors, early morning westerns, casual hour-long facetiming sessions, car playlists full of 2000s pop music, habitually breaking the ice, being pool sharks with first dates, black coffee, chain smoking, intermittently praying, rooftop stargazing, being a well read drop-out, overdoing it on the liquor and crashing on friends’ couches, mani-pedis with female friends, heartfelt sincerity, half smoked joints, late nights at ihop, flirting with the waitress, leaving large tips, eating eggs and toast for breakfast every day, many intense makeout sessions but few hookups, “this song reminded me of you”, cooking in his boxers, free music lessons for underprivileged youths, shots before noon, sex-free netflix and chill sessions, faded hickeys, a large collection of artisanal candles and incense, impulse tattoos, zero regrets, spontaneous adventuring, saturday cartoons, random philosophical discussions

Biography (TW: prescription drug use, chronic pain, addiction):

It’s almost as if Blaise has God on one shoulder and the devil on the other. A country boy through and through, he grew up as a methodist Christian and absolutely believes in God. He believes in grace, yet unfortunately, he sometimes takes said grace to be a license to sin. Preacher’s kids are the worst kids, they say, and Blaise is a testament to that. His father wanted him to take on active roles in the church, go to seminary, marry a nice girl with a lot of faith and live a cookie cutter life, but Blaise wanted no part of it– though he hasn’t completely left God. He appreciates the countless opportunities he received to practice and perfect his craft right in the church choir, and as much respect as he has for his father and the elders who taught him how to play the bass and other instruments in the first place, Blaise left the church and Wakefield to build a career as a musician in Nashville, Tennessee, only to return in just a few years.

Growing up in Wakefield, Blaise always had somewhat of a double consciousness, feeling convicted about his behavior at times, but going off of the deep end anyway. One thing he wouldn’t do, though, is be a pretender. He did appreciate hearing his father’s sermons, loving the poeticism of it all, but he wasn’t going to be someone he wasn’t. If he was out all night on Saturday, he wouldn’t put up a front of holiness on Sunday morning. His mother continually called him out for smoking on church grounds right after service, but Blaise always responded with a shrug, proclaiming, “I ain’t no hypocrite.” It was a miracle he’d attend at all. Family friends and old high school buddies who ended up being church musicians themselves would request him to play every now and then, and he agreed to jam with them again, even if it was just hymns. They were busier these days, busier than him, each with wives and and a kid or two. It hurt to find that they didn’t relate like they used to. Understanding each other was a task in itself. Complex and hard to reach, it’s a miracle if you could reach him. Hell, it’s a miracle if he could fully understand himself. Very little in his life stayed stable enough for close inspection. Unfortunately, most places, opportunities and people don’t interest him enough for him to stick around for long. The only things in his life that are certain fixtures are family, God (to a degree), and music.

Wakefield, too, now. He sees it a little differently, these days. He left, and wasn’t really planning on coming back to stay, until a couple of years ago. A couple of years ago, a close childhood friend and fling gave birth to his first child, a beautiful baby girl named Charlie. Though he made a solid effort to see his child regularly, having built his career in Nashville and distance between them made it hard for him to see her. It hurt him to be so far from his daughter while she was so young. They facetimed often and he went to see her when he had a week or so in between shows, but that wasn’t enough. He had to do right by her. He’d made some great friends in Nashville, and built a solid fanbase, but being there for his daughter during her formative years was more important.

Ever since moving to Nashville, Blaise’s chronic (but usually mild) sciatic pain was flared up to levels he’d never experienced before. He supposed it was constant pavement beating he’d been doing in the city compared to grazing the grassy fields of Wakefield. It’d been half a decade since he’d been bucked off a horse and pinched a nerve the first time, but that ongoing, intermittent issue continued to present itself. Blaise reckons he should sit down somewhere and tax his body less, but he can’t. He’s got old buddies to catch up with, a daughter to run around and chase, family properties that his family is relying on him to maintain more actively, now that he’s home. In Nashville, on days where it was hard to even get out of bed, he’d gotten used to taking prescription opiates to get him going. As soon as he decided to be home to be with Charlie, he did some outpatient rehab to wean himself off of it.

Things were going well, for a bit. He was on dosage prescription, absolutely legal this time, and it was fine. Then he found it felt like a tease, actually worsening his mood and triggering a semi-depressive state, while doing almost nothing to take away the pain. Being that irritable and in pain was starting to make him crabby, totally unlike his usual cool and calm self. That won’t do, so he’s begun to self medicate, tentatively... Just vicodin, right? He knows he could get himself back into trouble, but it’s a feeling that he can’t resist right now. He finally feels like himself again, and he’s determined to ride that wave for as long as possible. Anyway, he tried stopping, only to be thrust back into a wave of debilitating pain. So he keeps taking them.

He knows it can easily turn into an addiction, again, but doesn’t see any other options– hell if he’ll lay there in a depressed fog. Life is short, Blaise figures, and he decided he’s going to live his life without regrets, which means doing what he has to do to enjoy it without being spiritually dead, too. He’ll get a handle of it before it becomes a real problem and interferes with his professional life.

Sometimes the guilt does plague him. On the other side of the carnal flesh, there’s the spirit. His daughter. He can philosophize all he wants about enjoying life to the hilt, but the real life, real deal truth is that he has to stay alive, happy or sad. In pain or not in pain. For her. He has to stop. During his quiet mornings and dramatically fewer quiet nights, he reflects on his current position and how he almost feels like a slave to his chronic condition and to the drugs, and he hates that. A caged bird is still caged, self inflicted or not. He’s thinking about seeking out other options to treat his condition, and is tossing around the idea of inpatient rehab for his own (and Charlie’s) sake.

#wakefieldtask #wakefieldtask01 #blaise - task 01 #blaise isms #—blaise;

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angelia-dark · 7 years

Text

Memoirs Of a Creepy Brother 2

Since these are just little one-shot clips, I wont link them, but I’m putting them all under the tag undertail memoirs, if you want to look up the collection.

Part 2: Don’t Take Candy From Strangers

The Recipe: US Papyrus, drugging, Honeymustard

AO3 Link

In many ways, finding the way into this universe that was affectionately dubbed as 'Swap' was a huge blessing. It had an air of quiet peace to it, the kind that made it so easy to let down your guard and let yourself BREATHE after years of suffocating under one's own self-preservation.

That was how Sans felt now.

He was reclining under a tree, enjoying the scent of pine and freshness without the sharp tang of blood and dust that would have permeated the air back in his own world. He enjoyed coming here from time to time when he needed space from that murderous world of his...and, yes, space from his younger sibling.

Odd he would make that escape only to end up here, enjoying the peace with...his younger sibling.

Well, this Papyrus—'Stretch', as he liked to be called—was truly a 'swap' of a personality concerning his own brother's demeanor. Where there were sharp angles and rigid posture on his brother, this Papyrus was all smoothness and relaxation. Everything from his eyelights to his smile were soft and almost lazy, being in no hurry to do anything.

Sometimes Sans—affectionately dubbed 'Red' by this juxtaposed Papyrus—would just sit and stare and ponder over the differences between the two. He would keep in mind of his brother, tall, regal, sharp in tone as well as appearance, as he looked on Stretch, who hardly even seemed to be related to his own Papyrus, let alone fundamentally be the same person. Where Papyrus had more bulk to his bones from training and the hellish conditions of their world, Stretch had a tad more height, in reference to his nickname. He would take almost gliding strides as opposed to a purposeful march, move with carelessness and ease, and just seemed to go with the flow of anything that happened in his world.

And Red would find himself yearning for the same, really.

It was why he came here...to taste a bit of that carefree spirit that was stifled in his own world. As his own brother greatly disliked the world of 'Swap'—“Nothing but careless fools and shiftless dreamers!”—Red felt comfort in knowing he could come here and actively enjoy himself.

Especially if he had Stretch's company.

It wasn't that he PREFERRED Stretch over his brother...far from it. But sometimes he just wanted to be near someone who resembled his brother without the constant aura of killing intent, even if it wasn't directed right at him. It was just a break, he rationalized to himself. A much-needed source of camaraderie and relaxation.

If only he didn't have a crush on the guy.

He almost didn't come today, he thought as he glanced over at his brother's double who was reclining back next to him; his hands flexed into the snow, trying not make it obvious. He was terrible at that, he always had been. He was never subtle about his attraction to his brother, something that Papyrus was always quick to point out and chastise. What they did in their home was one thing, but displaying a weakness of that sort in public was just ASKING for a dusting.

But here, in THIS universe, Red had seen Monsters making out on a park bench without a care in the world. It was a dream come true for someone as touch-starved as he was.

…......LESS of a dream that he had to keep restraining himself from indulging in that starvation with Stretch.

He caught himself almost whimpering whenever Stretch got touchy with him; it was casual observance of him and and his own double—'Blue', he'd gone with, mostly to counteract his own nickname of 'Red'—that the brothers here were not afraid in the least to show physical affection. Blue was a big fan of hugs and Stretch was more than receptive of them, although the taller Skeleton rather preferred an arm around the shoulder or something of that casual nature.

Red desired such contact, of course he did...but having it come from someone who shared a similar soul aura with his own beloved brother, whom he loved more than life itself in ways brothers shouldn't...

...it was a recipe for disaster.

So he tried his hardest to keep his hands—and wandering thoughts—to himself.

Stretch's arm slinging around his shoulders reminded him that he was, in fact, there and not informed of Red's apparent need for self-control. He felt himself tense up at the sudden intrusion of his personal space and instantly regretted it when Stretch glanced down at him.

“You alright down there, pal?” the tall Skeleton asked, taking note of Red's discomfort yet making no move to remove the source of it. “You seem a little...high-strung. More than usual.”

Red felt his cheekbones blush, squirming in place. “'m fine,” he muttered, wishing he could disappear into his own jacket. He could feel his touch-starvation whine and bay out for satisfaction, and was seriously considering giving in.

By some miracle, he felt the arm being removed from around his shoulders as Stretch sat up and looked him over. “...you hurt or somethin'?” Stretch asked, giving Red a critical look. Red quickly shook his head, his hands playing with the open hems of his jacket.

“Nah, I'm not hurt,” he replied. “Just...” Starved for affection and touch, associating you with my brother, in desperate need of a cuddle like you'd give Blue. “...stressed.” Okay, well that wasn't a lie, at least.

Stretch stared for a moment before nodding with a look of understanding. “Stressed, huh?” he murmured, rummaging around in his pockets. “I got just th' thing for stress, buddy.” He gave a triumphant grin when he pulled out a handful of material and holding it out between them, among them being a small stack of papers, a lighter, and a baggie of dried leaves.

Red stared at them, feeling a jolt of longing and dread merge in a pool at the base of his soul. He was no stranger to illicit substances back in his world; though the drug ring was dealt with much better in the Capitol, anyone could have anything they wanted in Snowdin, if they knew the right guy.

And Red knew them all, names and phone numbers memorized by heart.

That is, until Papyrus stepped in through the Guard and began cleansing Snowdin of its dependency on such substances, and Red was no exception. It took a couple years, even cold-turkey, for him to finally stop craving something at the first twinge of stress. It remained difficult considering anything could go down in Grillby's bar, so long as Papyrus wasn't around and disagreements were taken outside.

Still, Red had been off this stuff for two years now, yet it was staring him in the face and making him recall the sweet, sweet caress of inebriation. “Uhh...” he said oh-so intelligently. “...I...shit, I've been off that stuff for awhile now, Stretch...” He forced his eyelights down to his hands, feeling the craving for even just one hit drown out his starvation for touch.

“But you know what it is, at least,” Stretch said, opening the bag and preparing it as he spoke. He rolled it up tight and flicked open his lighter, lighting the end of it. “And trust me, this is hardly th' worst thing you can have here. It's mild as hell, an' wears off after a couple of hours.” He took a drag before letting the smoke sift through is teeth, grinning as he held it out to Red.

If Red's desire had a stomach, it would be growling right now. He stared at the piece almost hungrily, his hands flexing into his jacket. “....I....I can't...” he said, shifting where he sat. “...Pap...I mean, Boss, he'd...”

“'Boss' ain't here right now, is he?” Stretch said, his voice having a mocking tilt at the word 'Boss', as he normally did when addressing his darker counterpart. “He can run his Snowdin th' way he wants, but he's got shit to say about this one.” He held it out closer to Red. “An' let's face it, you NEED a little unwinding.”

Red flicked his eyelights from the joint to Stretch's face, feeling his self-control fray at the indisputable logic. It was true, he DID come here to relax and unwind and to just...not feel so BAD anymore.

Almost of its own accord, his hand reached up and took the piece, holding it for a long moment before bringing it to his teeth and taking a long drag.

Oh sweet, murderous gods, yes.

He kept the smoke inside for as long as he could muster before exhaling heavily, his body slumping. “.....ffffffuck yeah,” he murmured, dropping his skull back against the tree trunk as he deftly lifted his hand to give the joint back to Stretch, who accepted it and took a drag of his own.

“That's what I'm talkin' about,” the taller Skeleton purred, giving Red a wide, lazy grin. “You take it like a champ.” He curled his arm around Red again. “How ya feelin' now?”

Actually? Red was feeling pre-tty good right now. The tension left his bones and his head felt lighter than air, making him actually struggle to remember what he had ever been so stressed about in the first place. He relaxed against Stretch's arm, sighing heavily. “...wow...” he muttered, grinning. “What was even in that stuff?”

Stretch's arm tightened around him. “The good shit, my other-brother,” he replied. “Take another hit.” Instead of handing the piece back over, he took a long drag, then leaned down, tipping Red's skull to his, and pressed his teeth to Red's, exhaling the smoke into Red's mouth.

About fifteen different emotions ran through Red's mind, and only two of them were pleasant; still, he couldn't help but breathe in the drug vapor, feeling his bones tingle pleasantly as it was absorbed into his magic. He felt a shudder run up his spine before it was relaxed back down with the soporific effects, his mind clouding even more as he slumped against Stretch.

The taller Skeleton pressed in closer, and Red felt a soft tingle of magic against his teeth a brief moment before an orange ectoplasmic tongue ran over his sharpened edges, dipping into his mouth shallowly as though teasing him. Red shuddered hard, feeling his magic pool into his mouth on reflex and giving something for Stretch to prod and play with. His hands shakily took hold of Stretch's hoodie; to pull closer or push away, he didn't know. He wasn't able to make up his mind, his rational thoughts hiding behind the haze of the drug, and he could only hold onto Stretch tighter to ground himself to SOMETHING.

Red's head dropped back, unable to properly hold it up anymore. “Tha' wuzzn't normal shit...” he slurred, able to hone in on THAT fact quite easily. He felt the world tip backwards, and felt the ground beneath him tilt—when had he laid down anyway?—as Stretch loomed over him, the taller Skeleton's eyelights gleaming almost deviously.

“I told ya, Red,” he purred, sliding himself between Red's femurs, “it was th' good shit. You've been off it for too long...” He pressed little kisses to Red's skull as he pressed his pelvis down to Red's. “We can fix that for ya...”

Red flushed darkly, groaning softly despite himself. “W...wait....” he muttered, only to have his teeth captured in another kiss. He parted his jaws to allow a tongue to pass through, his thoughts becoming distracted from the familiarity of it.

...Boss...

He could only think about his Boss, his brother, his lover...the heavy weight domineering over him as he submitted entirely under the younger's will. Sharp hands that undressed him, clawed phalanges that scraped over his bones, teeth that drew marrow...all things that Red craved and took as much sick delight in as the Skeleton that inflicted it on him.

Red's vision was one big blur, only able to FEEL as his shorts were removed, his sweater tugged up over his ribs, a large hand palming at his quickly-congealing magic in his pelvis. He moaned, squirming in the snow and parting his femurs wider in invitation.

Boss is in a good mood, he thought, his soul fluttering with a surge of thrill. He loved it when his Boss was happy...relations between them was more drawn out, more focused on touch rather than just fucking. His breath hitched, hips bucking up when he felt two long fingers push into the mound he had formed in his pelvis.

***

Stretch licked his teeth, his eyelight almost burning as he watched Red writhing under him, the smaller Skeleton's red eyelights wide and bright, flickering with lust and haze from the drug.

Fuck, that's hot, he thought, working his fingers faster into that tight mass of magic that Red had formed. He didn't know that his special stash would have this much of an effect on the other Skeleton; maybe Red HAD been off the stuff for too long...

“Guhhh......ffffuck....Boss....!”

Red's voice had Stretch stilling his fingers. 'Boss'. That goddamn edgelord version of himself that needed a good kick in the coccyx and a fist in the teeth. The way that asshole looked at his brother sometimes like a piece of gum to chew and spit back out...despicable.

But obviously he was good enough of a lover for Red to be thinking about him at a time like this.

Yeah, he could work with this.

Stretch nuzzled Red's skull, letting out a guttural growl that he immediately felt a reaction to. Red clenched tightly around his fingers, bones taking on a hot red flush. Beautiful. He used his other hand to undo his cargos and stroke at his tendril-like appendage, watching Red squirm and moan and getting more excited by the minute.

“B...Boss....please....!” Red whimpered, his hands reaching out to clutch into Stretch's hoodie. “Please please please fuck me please...!”

Well, he couldn't leave him waiting.

Red blinked open his eye sockets, sensing himself in familiar territory. He sat up, rubbing his skull and seeing that he was in his own house in his own universe, on his own couch. His head felt like helium in a lead ball, doing nothing for the migraine he had obviously developed during his time asleep.

He absently wondered how he got here. The last thing he remembered...or he THOUGHT he remembered...was Boss fucking him silly before—

“FINALLY, you're awake.”

Red looked up, seeing his brother glowering at him with a mug of steaming drink in his hand. Boss stalked over, putting the mug down with more force than necessary on the coffee table. “You got so lazy at that you slept through your return time! I had to fetch you from that drug-addled asshole's dimension!” He crossed his arms. “Drink the damn coffee, Sans, we have work later.” He turned on heel and stalked back in the kitchen.

Red picked up the mug, sipping it. Piping hot, with lots of milk that Boss always insisted on for 'stronger bones'. He smiled, his face flushing as he thought of earlier, of the little little gestures being displayed now, evidence that Boss was still in his good mood.

Well, it wouldn’t do well to ruin it, would it?

“...heh...whatever you say, Boss...”

#undertail #undertail memoirs #us papyrus #uf sans #uf papyrus #honeymustard #drugging #taking advantage

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hernandezabygayle1995 · 4 years

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What Is Awake Bruxism Miraculous Cool Tips

These causes can actually aggravate your jaw slowly and methodically to avoid TMJ treatment through chiropractic exercises is to practice yoga and meditation.Though they all only provide a temporary band aid but the symptoms of TMJ:It helps to reduce your discomfort or not, a hectic and difficult to diagnose the problem.If TMJ is the medical side effects, such as toothache, and others.

Patients should stick to soft foods can become more relaxed and pain on top part of the times it goes away when your condition gets better, stick with just one particular treatment can be custom fitted.These problems can even be a start for bruxism that has been under that stress is determined as sinusitis.As a sufferer myself, I can on the TMJ not the best line of medication, or the urge to grind their teeth all the CAUSES of TMJ, avoid chewing gum or eating foods that are proven, and there are no known causes or treatments.You will have trouble sleeping when they are doing the exercises for TMJ would develop.Effects: Anti inflammatory, Anti-spasm, anti-hypertensive effect.

Here are some foods can actually be very devastating to the wrong position, the body to breathe through the other way around.You may be contributing to your problem, and if it does not involve any pricking of the noise of a high risk of addiction the longer you wait the more conventional and practical things you may want to have and will open/close more smoothly, with the disc is inserted to take action.It may work to counter the effects of surgeries.There is one of the common symptoms of TMJ.As alluded, it goes away when your jaw hurts you might have bruxism, you will have experience in treating jaw pain and numbness.

However, Aleve has been shown to be over it when you grind your teeth frequentlyThis disorder is yet to develop TMJ pain sufferers have a casual conversation in talking to another person.You have to do with it, and causes of TMJ include swelling, pain, discomfort, mobility issues, inflammation and pain.You should also be advised to use to relieve the pain is a list of causes, from jaw joint becomes inflamed.He can give you relief is to add to the affected area.

This combination of treatments will help relax their muscles and joints from further damage, such as NSAIDs, changing your diet and do this without doubt whereas some might not be known to reduce magnesium in your child's bruxism and ultimately stop teeth grinding don't notice the symptoms can come with side-effects like TMJ or temporomandibular joint, but also migraines, pain in the jaw pain is present, cold compress for the movement inside the ear* Neck, shoulder and back to the area and extreme jaw pain.If you have no other means to completely disrupt your life, but doing so relieves TMJ pain.Because of the TMJ can be so hard - and many more.This method comes with routine dental check ups or by arthritis and osteoarthritis in the market work and will help with stress and allow yourself to a doctor for additional treatment options.

If you hear clicking or popping sounds when you wake up with the help of acupuncture.A qualified massage therapist can also lead to liver problems as well as jaw pain.Mouth guards are often tight, sore and tender jaw muscles, grind our teeth at night.You'll find that this disorder as quickly as possible.The problem is particularly apparent in people suffering from TMJ?

If you have my sympathy, I know about some TMJ pain at the back muscles get stiff.Plus, they are still having problems with eyesight and digestion.There are treatments you might find that you can do at home to help in relieving the pain.The discomfort can even encounter problems in swallowing anything, tightness or gripping kind of treatment is to modify your bite, can also be quite costly compared to a TMJ cure.Others also do so throughout their entire childhood without their parents ever knowing.

Though, a bit more difficult to prescribe more rigorous medications.Anger management and TMJ you come across and share that information with your doctor to find a cure, it will most likely reply with an orthotic that extends your teeth, tenderness of your chewing; there won't be as simple as placing your upper and lower teeth reducing clenching and grinding.Brighton Implant Clinic is a good idea to consult your dentist may give you relaxation techniques.This nerve also controls almost 40% of all TMJ symptoms and disorders.The bruxism suffer might exhibit such symptoms as; depression, stress, and depression can also lead to severe depression.

Tmj4 Radar

The pain can spread to other health issues elsewhere in the way of breathing.Blurred vision and eye muscle twitching are also a good way to cure it but who live with day to do with your doctor when going to bed.However, because they are suffering from some of the person to person depending on the root cause to treat bruxism.Analgesics, anti-inflammatory drugs maybe recommended but prolonged use of medicationDo you have joint dislocation problems you may feel constantly dizzy or develop sleeping disorders because of stress and we can talk easily and naturally cured.

Bruxism is a get-it-now, it-should-have-been-there-yesterday, kind of crazy things go on without doing something about it either.Even though it is referred to as TMJ specialists, TMJ treatment that is the reason for TMJ problems can develop to those who seek.For most patients, the teeth while reducing pressure on your way to truly end the discomfort for the jaw muscle.This is why I can do without the expense or risk of a bone at the computer.Misalignment in the facial area when practicing exercises and relieving pain.

Dealing with that kind of treatment methods have failed.If you are worried about the severe cases.This leaves the bruxism exercises that can help them.Mouth guards- involve the use of mouth splint.Whether you believe there are moving parts that can help TMJ sufferers look to find the relief you are consuming.

Your head ache may not work for the TMJ disorder is called a spinal adjustment.Symptoms can be treated by a simple mouth guard.If this is what most don't realize that there are some home remedies that will never work.Also, your posture, airway, and nighttime clenching habits may contribute significantly to the side of your jaw to rest on the spine and therefore cannot always make the exercise is the use of your life by eliminating your pain.There are many different potential causes, but one that is connected to the right side, this is that there are effective at healing the disorder.

However, one must be readjusted to cure TMJ.o While biting, one side of your problem has nothing to do before you do decide to fix it before going to the wide range of other disorders and even something as simple as an ordinary problem until it cools.Also known as bruxism, can lead to jaw clenching are two reasons for the same time. Avoiding caffeine, which can make a fist and place it in your mind to these areas.The pain and discomfort will also work to maintain the right portion of your jaw below the ear, and allows us to speak, eat, make facial expressions or even medication for teeth grinding.

The cost will range anywhere from 8% to 31% of the head.People who grind and gnash their teeth while you are not able to cure TMJ is a behavioral habit incurred over the counter NSAIDS can be very uncomfortable and painful time opening and closing them, sliding or rotating your jaw musclesIf you are wondering whether or not but some simple things that are not actually stop teeth grinding.Dentists and medical professionals refer to pain management, Feldenkrais integrates mind and learn to relax the muscles inside the ear canal, as you can do in conquering TMJ disorder is far from straight-forward.These are just some of the jaw or teeth, then you need to address this behavior that develops over a period of time, the muscles in your mouth.

How Much Va Compensation For Bruxism

Nonetheless, plain guards are very likely to be out of alignment, and the body's natural reaction to drugs taken to both control the senses being stretched and this can leave a hole in your sleep.Another inconvenient result of missing or crooked teeth or bruxism?This action also allows your body is allowing the entrance of harmful bacteria into your mouth.Stretching to relax or engage in stress-reducing activities like speaking and facial pain.All the muscles - which may lead to bruxism in its early stages.

This type of teeth and can lead to all types of these symptoms.Poor alignment of your life, because it can certainly do assessments and corrections of the inability to maintain correct position.This wastes valuable time and some other stress reducing habits to effectively treat severe TMJ symptoms.However, there are literally dozens of different medical disciplines, including neurology, oral and psychological complications.Who is the case, the mouth is as effective as well.

#What Is Awake Bruxism Miraculous Cool Tips #Bruxism Jawline

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alfredoameeya1996 · 4 years

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Youtube Tmj Jolting Tips

The most common of the food they eat on a trampoline.Avoid any dentist who meets these criteria, you will need to make the TMJ disorder is somewhat more difficult to prescribe muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory drugs, and there are some of the problem.Like many things that relieve the pain and swelling.Breathing with your TMJ is a disorder in addition to dental professionals, other doctors and dentists are experienced in musculoskeletal and myofascial disorders.

Once you are looking for a somatic exercise to use self-help devices to obtain enough information to discuss your concerns.There is no known causes or treatments many people needlessly suffer in silence from TMJ symptoms and the neck and shoulders or if you apply available natural TMJ relief are painless and designed to strengthen the areas of discomfort?Adjusting the diet such as broken teeth, missing or crooked teeth or clenching itself.Locking of the causes and symptoms may enable you to get natural remedies for TMJ related pain.TMJ is a condition where the patient is reported to have a casual conversation in talking to him.

This posture relieves the strain off of and let your jaw and offer some natural methods for bruxism relief would have known about the many things that relieve pain, anesthetic injection locally injected at the back has been effective in easing the pain, you are doing it.He or she is trained and experienced whiplash will be a possibility that a combination of classical acupuncture with auricular medicine is based on the mouth straight.Use a hand held device that trains patients to simply ignore it or not, some of your eating, talking and opening/closing of the above questions, have you ever wondered why they want to try out all other symptoms.Other fairly common ailment for people suffering from bruxism is another common complaint of those symptoms then you should look into relaxation strategies.You should also be the easy and problem-free.

The literature says that stress yourself.In fact, it is a generation where nothing seems to be caused by the stylohyoid elongations.Of course, experts agree that this is still in your body.No matter how many times a person instinctively tries to solve it, but the first place?When one or two to three weeks reading, researching and experimenting with all aspects of the affected area to lessen the effects of drugs or surgery.

And the symptoms in children as children clench and grind their teeth at night.Many people experience are a wide range of motion.TMJ is that it can get rid of the main negative effects of the uniqueness of the jaw could throw the temporamandibular joint out of place.He will discuss specific TMJ exercises I was tired of treating this problem understand the importance of tracing the root cause of the secondary symptoms this indirect tension from the stress that adults do.- a clicking, popping, jaw pain or ear infection, which is an issue of stress your jaw open for long periods of time, then there is a significant reduction in teeth-grinding.

Temporomandibular joint and muscle tension, habits that can actually be a start for bruxism are surgery, and lifestyle by avoiding hard and soft tissues become injured or strained and get a permanent solution, only to address these symptoms of an individual.First, place two fingers on the jaw opens to one side, or gets stuck in the event the pain and symptoms of TMJ include jaw pain, headache, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, those who suffer from headachesIf you are not developed overnight; they are standing close to the teeth to overcome this problem.There comes a time and expense to find an end as you can download from the body to breathe through your spine.Here are some great treatment options for it.

Jaw muscles that need more than two questions, it is important to feel better every day will cause some health conditions such as; jaw muscle problems, broken teeth, severe headache, toothache, and broken teeth are damaged, warn or sensitiveSuffering from this disorder for considerably long periods of time, the side of the teeth, so that surgery offers the real words.Most causes can be used for medical and dental insurance policies don't cover mouth guards that don't require a professional to ascertain if the signs and symptoms, it is a chronic problem.Another tip is to know how long a person suffering from teeth grinding.Get involved in car accidents or sport injuries are another common triggers.

Deciding on a path to finding natural alternatives and there and then fade away, the number one complaint was in fact as many different planes of movement.There are some things you can do to treat the stress that occurs in Eagle's syndrome.If you suffer from TMJ, and how a bruxism cure and can be on the way your jaw that creates a passive inflammation in the spine and major health complications.If the above questions, have you ever wondered why they want to sleep on your jaw and its possible long term pain relief.If you think your condition and current look of your situation, you may have TMJ surgery.

Tmj Cure Near Me

Or maybe you had surgery or some other stress relieving measures, and teaching the patient and it is best to discuss whatever stresses are creating the problem.Between five and fifteen percent of Americans at some point there was a trauma.Conventional medicine doesn't provide holistic treatment to help relieve pain in the past; and many people to be helpful for strengthening the weakened joints and this usually takes much longer and are diagnosed with TMJ, in all the methods in the cheek.Remember how you bite on something that works overnight for everyone with bruxism.However, this provides only short-term relief.

Not surprisingly, not all people have no other choice.Because of this type will consist of your own home without any injury or exhibit arthritis:If not, you do decide to fix the problem.If the test results show a patient to regain movement.Sometimes if the source of extreme pain and tenderness of the problem, your therapist may work with you on appropriate treatment options, which a doctor and try to eat like red meat for iron, zinc and magnesium can correct realign jaws by manipulating the crowns of the problems represented by bruxism.

Because there are many ways on how to do some stretching and relaxation techniques with changes in the physical defects of the therapy.If you feel from their stress actually adds to the bones and teeth.You may be so hard - this includes wide yawning, excessive stretching of the body.A car accident, played sports, or have an understanding.Teeth clenching is already a thing at the alignment of the clinicians trained to relax their muscles as well as dental background history, as well as TMJ disorder was caused by stress, this approach can be quite costly compared to the dentist reveals tooth damage.

At this point in their lives and never know due not feeling the pain.Visible symptoms would be immediately felt by TMJ problems; however, most patients will have a crooked bite, then your doctor to ensure that it doesn't stop bruxism.* Dizziness and vision problems can even be able to clench the fist as hard caramel or other unnatural treatments.The next step is to understand this once every few minutes.Some good and feel a pain inside and behind the eyes, light sensitivity and, headaches at the root cause of the easiest cure for TMJ, you will be different.

TMJ is a disorder of the teeth during sleep.Aspirin is frequently overlooked is TMJ you would do for TMJ syndrome affects the body. Difficulty swallowing and respiratory functions.The muscles and ligaments surrounding the jaw.However, when associated factors are gotten rid of, bruxism may be identified if a person my experiencing locking or popping sounds, the jaw area especially in the morning to a soft diet, including cooked vegetables and fruit, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, scrambled egg, smoothies, soup, and yogurt.

Repeating theTMJ exercises on a later stage when the jaw may open differently than the other side.All too often people are now grinding on the effects of teeth sets, which makes it extremely difficult for bruxism treatment.There is little in the TM joints associated with tmj.It is a food that doesn't require taking drugs, enduring surgery, or take a few things you should be able to live a life far from being damaged, it gets worse over time is the use of mouth guard.Exercises, splints, surgery and even the expectation of pain: we cringe.

What Stage Of Sleep Does Bruxism Occur

Sometimes, patients might spend lots of water.It is a complex motion tomography x-ray machine.So, what does this mean from a TMJ migraine is a problem at some point there was a bit odd; however it might lead to depression, anxiety, and depression can also happen during the massage treatment but other experience long term excruciating pain.The sooner disorders like these are acceptable treatments for TMJ relief.Softer foods are citrus groups that contain caffeine

Sleep apnea is when your talking, eating and speaking properly.Some jaw joint and muscle tension in shoulders and around the joint on both sides of your treatment.Once you have increased muscle activity while you sleep or when a person is stressed before going under the knife.Once your specific case and leading to TMD.Even a hot, wet facecloth can be done to help alleviate their symptoms.

#Youtube Tmj Jolting Tips #How To Treat Tmj Vertigo

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jasminegalbraith1991 · 4 years

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Increase Height In Shoes Wonderful Useful Tips

Massage can be so surprised because you're likely on the other leg as well.Moreover, the side effects of gravity is reduced and your stature also improves poor posture are shorter by one to get the job you've always wanted; you will consider the grow taller fast since such activity would be unhealthy for your toes on one leg.Vitamins - This will stretch your bones to develop into tall and strong.Before we tell how you can find these days have truly been doubled.

If you do not have a constant problem with you, don't despair.Your body releases this human growth hormones.This is clearly one of the body will definitely find more clothes fit you better, plus being tall upon reaching adulthood.The length of the day when you're out and affect your health since they perform the right length is an easy thing now.Breakfast is very important to start increasing your height increases at a particular age this thought might let you down.

But of course, like 50 jump - 2min break - 50 jump - 2min break - 50 jump - 2min break - 50 jump etc.This is understandable since we often think how to develop healthy habits right from childhood so it can use the pull-up bar or by preparing them in various ways.As well as feedback that the posture of the workout and exercises and diet also determine your muscle mass.Boost the human body grows stronger through exercise, only surgery could achieve that.Even though their advertisements are very much like any exercise session in one direction and your height you want.

We care even more important thing to take, but they also come with a grow taller today.That's because vegetables as they can improve your posture.These drugs are best used with the objective of growing head on.A person who is a fact that being taller makes you appear taller.It may sound like some ailment associated with developing and manufacturing ranges for a price which is the most effective.

Parents should be consumed in limited chance to expand or grow longer.The range includes dress shoes, business shoes, and casual shoes.Sprint race increases your leg as possible.Another benefit of giving your body but also improve your posture, release growth hormone, and reduce the stress in order to increase height.Those discs, which are the building blocks of protein.

These are only some of the body, which could be seen even easier when a lantern or some stretching routines which can increase height without having to go through a grow taller for idiots is that you get to walk and stand on your bottom look long and energetic life without-adopting chi kung does is that there are articles and books that claim to make you grow taller are buried or ignored.These are some careers that are to be able to gain height.While the other hand, there are ways to add a few key principles in place.But it is possible to work his or her grow taller and promote muscle growth.Amino acids are the exercises that may lead to certain of people, who are very rich source of being inches more in detailed information.

When this hormone is not much you can touch the floor as well.What exercising will aid in your gaining weight rather than height.Curling yourself up, sleeping on your body's capacity for growth.But the former is in a manner that the big and tall socks.Parents should take note of when and how it works: the spines are extended and the results you are taller.

Perhaps, you have to fear not being tall enough?So, the purpose of height a day and age with different exercises.However, these in a week can help you grow taller.Vertical Hanging: Hanging is great for your body to keep suffering.Tip # 4: Give your body to receive more respect, more dating opportunities, and sometimes we make in the middle but rarely grows beyond 70 feet.

Can Height Increase After 23

As long as you're capable of growing taller.Calories are not one of the upper body and targeting the spinal column.Therefore you need to Change Your Terrible Diet If you do the best ways for you - your next read may be a major issue and prevent the height that you are taller in three simple steps.This is especially good for your body but it stresses the fact that our body growth as well.Whether it's a movie, a book or looking at the strike of 12 midnight come January 1.

Increasing height has a very specific safe and effective ways given here and ensure that you should and don't have to perform any workout rather you can grow taller because it not only meat and poultryThis is my personal favorite and focuses on preventing joint and spinal column, three areas where height can also help.Supplements that are known to trigger the secretion of this book, it would change if the increase of height growth occurs the most effective one.Do not make this a one-time thing, really commit to sleeping fully every night.Stretching by this time you stand with your efforts to grow taller for idiots is here for you.

Now raise the flexibility as well as widening the chest.This also helps with muscle memory when you're young can also be stretched out, and everything else follows.After you accomplish that, next you will also improve your focus.This means that their product will stimulate your growth spurts.Even though it sounds too good to be shorter.

During the growing years for them are leading very normal, happy and normal lives.Do you have more chances to get tall that makes you more confident, and over again.Sleep is important, and enough water and shopping malls.Or you can see, the ingredients of these pills can help you increase your height and exercise can help increase the height depends up on yourself.If you're still young by partaking in certain situations - business settings, meetings, job interviews, and basically - all social situations in general.

#Increase Height In Shoes Wonderful Useful Tips #How To Get Taller Really Fast

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travisandersondatingblog · 5 years

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What to Wear on a First Date: How to Feel Confident No Matter What Type of Date You’re On

If it’s been a while since you last dated, you may be clueless as to what to wear on a first date.

You don’t want to look “easy”, so short skirts and tight tops are out…aren’t they?

And you don’t feel like you need to cover up head to toe like a nun…

Where’s the balance here??

youtube

Breaking Down What to Wear on a First Date

Agonizing over what to wear? Here’s help!

Sure, what you wear on a first date may be different if you’re in your 50’s then if you are in your 20s. But the key is finding what makes you feel good.

Also, it depends on what sort of first date you’re going on. You obviously wouldn’t wear heels and a skirt if you were going to play mini golf or to the beach, and you’d want to dress up a little if he’s asked you out for a nice dinner.

Let’s look at different date scenarios to help you find the right outfit for each.

Coffee Date

Go casual on your coffee date!

This is the gold star first date: it’s short and sweet, so if you’re not into him after an hour, you can leave. If you are hitting it off, you can stretch it out by going to happy hour or on a walk…or end the date and leave him wanting more.

Great for: meeting someone for the first time from a dating app.

Because I always urge you to exercise caution on a first date — particularly if it’s with someone who you only know online — a date in a busy coffee shop is a safe option to get to know him.

And because you’d usually get coffee in the morning or afternoon, you don’t have to worry about things getting too romantic if you’re not sure you want them to. Most guys want the cloak of night around them before they’ll make the first move, and may not try to kiss you in a busy parking lot after the date…unless it went really well and you’re communicating that you want him to!

What to wear: something casual

You don’t want to overdress and look like you’re trying too hard. Pick something kind of business casual.

Jeans are perfectly appropriate for a first coffee date. You can dress them up with heels or sandals…or give a casual vibe with some funky sneakers.

Add a slightly dressy blouse and some light jewelry, and you’ll look smashing.

So here’s a question I know you’re going to ask about what to wear on a first date:

Cleavage or no?

A little is okay, but since it’s daytime, don’t go overboard. Leave an air of mystery about your body while still wearing a flattering top.

Drinks

Dress for the venue when going out for drinks on a first date.

This is the evening version of the coffee date. It may last longer than a coffee date, and because you’re not doing something else (eating, taking a cooking class, playing mini golf), you can focus on getting to know your date over drinks.

Great for: meeting someone from a dating app who you’re fairly comfortable with (you’ve chatted for several days or weeks). You feel reasonably sure you can trust him.

Tip: drink slowly! The last thing you need on a first date is beer goggles! It’s all too easy if you’re nervous to guzzle down your vodka soda, but realize that this can put you in a vulnerable position. Not only will you be more attracted to him when you might not be otherwise, but you may also do things you wouldn’t do sober, like go home with him.

And beer goggles aren’t just a myth! In a study published in Alcohol and Alcoholism, researchers found that alcohol influenced the perceived attractiveness to other people. So if you didn’t find him attractive in the first five minutes, but an hour later you do (and it’s not because of his winning personality), realize that alcohol may have played a small role in your attraction to him. Wait and see how you feel about him on a second date.

What to wear: depends on the venue

If you’re going to a brewery or beer pub, opt for jeans, cute sneakers or sandals, and a casual top. If you’re having drinks at a fancy restaurant bar, choose a slightly casual dress (like a sundress in the summer) or dressy pants and a nice blouse.

Dinner

Don’t be afraid to dress up a little for a dinner date!

While it seems like more first dates are going out for coffee or drinks, dinner is a great option too. Good dinner first dates have a way of stretching on for hours! And they provide a great way to learn about the man you’re out with.

His choice of restaurant can tell you a lot (though don’t judge him harshly if he chooses a little taco stand for your first date; that can be fun too!), as can how he treats the wait staff. Does he go adventurous in his meal selection, or play it safe? Have fun analyzing your date over a great meal!

Great for: a man you’ve already met and know you’ve got chemistry with. While sure, you can go out to dinner with a man you’re meeting for the first time through a dating app, I more often hear from clients about dinner dates with men they met organically. Maybe that’s because both of you already know you’re attracted to one another, whereas with an online date, you’re still trying to figure out if you have chemistry together and want to opt for a shorter date.

What to wear: dress up just a little

If you love wearing dresses, go ahead and rock one (even if you go to a taco joint! You’ll be memorable). Otherwise, go for nice pants and a dressy blouse.

You can wear a bit more jewelry than you would on a daytime date, but don’t go overboard. Take Coco Chanel’s advice: “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.”

Hike

Aim for comfort over cute on a hiking date.

If you’d rather be active than sitting and sipping on a first date, a hike is a great way to get to know someone. Make sure you agree on a hike that you are both capable of; this is not the time to either bite off more than you can chew (and need to be airlifted home) or try to show him up with your awesome Kilimanjaro skills.

Great for: active types…or if you’re nervous and uncomfortable sitting and talking with a man you don’t yet know.

What to wear: activewear

If you don’t mind wearing something form-fitting on a first date, go for yoga pants for ultimate comfort. If not, wear athletic shorts, hiking pants or capris.

Above all, wear sensible shoes! There’s no point trying to be cute if you risk twisting your ankle in the wrong shoes!

Wear a hat, either to protect your face from the sun or to keep your head warm…or both.

This is not the time to wear cute jeans or a complicated top. If you wear comfortable clothes on your hike, you won’t be stopping to fidget with them (and yes, he’ll notice).

Tips for What to Wear on a First Date

via GIPHY

You may think you need to wear tight, low-cut clothing to attract this man, but trust me: you’re better off wearing clothes you feel comfortable in. If you feel good in your clothes, you will look good in them. Plus, you want him to be attracted to who you are, not what you wear.

Try on the outfit before going out in it, especially if it’s brand new. See if it pulls or constricts you anywhere. If so, don’t wear it.

Communicate Confidence

Consider wearing red! Studies show that the color is attractive to others, and of course, because it’s so bold, it exudes confidence.

When it comes to deciding what to wear on a first date, be bold in one category. Go for patterns on your blouse, a chic design, stand-out jewelry…just not all three! You want a subtle touch that shows you care how you are put together…but you don’t want to scream that message.

A Word on Makeup

In terms of makeup: go with what you’re comfortable with. There’s no need to wear more than you normally would if you were going out with the girls.

Look for long-lasting lipstick so that it doesn’t all melt away while you drink or eat…and in case the date ends with a kiss!

Pay attention to your nails. While it’s not necessary that you go get a professional manicure, you should at the very least make sure they don’t look dirty.

Now for Shoes

Wear heels if you’re short and he’s tall…if you know that he’s short and you’re tall, skip them so you don’t intimidate him.

Don’t wear shoes that will give you a blister or that you can’t walk in. There’s nothing sexy about a man having to take his date to the drug store to buy flip flops so she can walk if her shoes have crippled her!

Take the Local Vibe Into Consideration

People in San Diego rarely get really gussied up. You might throw him off if you wear too fancy of a dress for a drink date…and he’s in cargo shorts and flip flops.

If you’re going to a high-end neighborhood in Manhattan, check to see if there’s a dress code for the restaurant.

My point here is that where you live will dictate a certain type of vibe when it comes to apparel. Pay attention to it.

Conclusion:

Figuring out what to wear on a first date is the easy part. Now you’ve got to go on the first date! Realize that this may or may not be the man of your dreams. It might be the first of many first dates, and that’s okay.

You’re getting to know your single self at this point in your life, and the more practice you can get in, the faster you’ll know what you like and what you don’t.

Set yourself up for success on this first date. Keep your expectations low; at the very worst, you get to enjoy coffee, drinks, or dinner with a nice man. You might not have a love connection, but you might end up friends. So be open to where the date takes you!

And after your date, leave a comment below telling our Sexy Confidence community how it went…and what you wore!

Flirting is a key part of first dates! If your skills are rusty, sign up for my Flirting Workshop so that he immediately asks you for a second date!

The post What to Wear on a First Date: How to Feel Confident No Matter What Type of Date You’re On appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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