#the ladies here are scheming bitches i love it

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Hello I know you just wrote for D.M. but can I request ❛ you're mine. you've always been mine. ❜ with D.M. too? Maybe the reader is his ex gf who left him cos she realized that he was a red flag

Thank you and sorry if my English isn't that good! Have a nice day/night!

Your english is fine no worries! Hope you enjoy this i based is lot on Sherlock Holmes lol

Rated Mature (to be safe) | Warning: possessive behavior, kidnapping, reader is done lol

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The end of engagements is not uncommon, it is something that happens in the search for the soul mate. It will hurt, it will take time. Yet telling the bastard D.M. to acknowledge you are no longer accessible to him or how the engagement ring is returned to him with a letter telling in long-winded words you no longer want to see him.

Well, he is delusional at first believing you simply needed space. You need to reflect and realize how good you have it with him. He gave you a week. Then another week, he was busy. Then another week due to once again, he after all, masterfully artfully creating schemes. When a month passed, he sent you a letter. There was no reply, in fact, the letter he sent was returned to him.

You moved. You moved. You moved.

Désire Mélodis never had someone leave him. He has broken many hearts of both genders, but when he read your letter— Actually read it, he saw the seriousness of your words. You rejected him, you gave up on a comfortable life with him… Are you stupid!?

The man’s rage is cold, he simply burned your letter before going to the desk where he has a poster of you from your performance here long before he approached you.

How ungrateful are you? The nonsense you wrote him is just that: Nonsense! The lord professor is the most desirable man you will ever meet! To have caught his eye means you should be grateful! Along with feeling special. He scoffs before laughing hysterically.

“Mon amour,” His finger tracing the jaw of your picture, “Enjoy your time away from your cage.” A dastardly smirk on his face, “For once I find you: I will clip your wings.”

You should have known sooner or later your former love would come back in a blaze of glory. All you could do is just prepare for that, mentally. You sigh the second you see Lady Truth, Mr. Inference, and Mr. White entered the theater and sat in the back. Oh, lovely.

Not even the first bloody act the stage is on fire and there is a villain who shows up by crashing from the ceiling. 

You are not even going to try to figure out how the man survived falling from that height to the stage.

There in the spotlight, there you stand wearing red, there the most dramatic moment happens before your eyes.

“You crazy son of a bitch!”

Is he serious? Is he serious about showing up like this?! In a dashing white suit with a top hair and cape, he appears, the curtain falls behind you, and he snatches you as if you magically weigh nothing. What madness! Wait, the man is too tall, and the long claws are not D.M.’s style.

“Tuberose put me down right now— Aaaaaa!!” Screaming as the terrifyingly tall man steals you away as the fire starts to consume the stage. Pointing at the place where he fell from, he points and launches the hook before sending you both flying through the air. The hook to pulling you both out of the theater.

“Please stop kicking me.” Once on the rooftop, he tosses you over his shoulder.

“Maybe I will stop kicking if you put me down!” You are beyond pissed. Honestly, you know D.M. is dramatic but burning down the opera theater, dramatic speech by his assistant, and what the hell is this get-up he put on Tuberose? “This suit is ugly by the way!”

“His request.”

You roll your eyes as you are forced to endure being chased after from rooftop to rooftop. “If you turn left at the next street you can lose them in the alley.”

“Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.” Bored. This is honestly why you ended the engagement! The drama was ridiculous, not to mention how you felt like you were competing for your ex-fiance's attention. “How is he?”

“Colder.”

“I see… I missed you guys.”

The assistant, you know you do not if Tuberose is an assistant, puts you down when close is clear.

“Are you going to change?” Watching him undress, “Oh your hair is messy.” As he changes, you fix his hair. “There.” Smiling then pouting when he puts on his fedora. He gives you his shawl to keep you warm given what you are wearing is a red costume for your part.

“Welcome home, mon petit gâteau.” Open arms as you are brought to his manor. His smile is fake, the foyer looks nice still, oh, you noticed a new maid.

“Hm,” Looking around. Nothing changed. Guess you shouldn't be surprised, you only left two or three months ago.

It took a bit of walking to the rendezvous point where Gatto sat in the automotive waiting. The drive was unbearable, you only compiled because you care for the safety of these two over your own.

Plus, D.M. would never hurt you… You hope.

“Sir, I know you understand this is kidnapping.” Crossing your arms after giving back Tuberose his shawl before that adds to this long overdue argument. “What were you thinking doing that!? Couldn't you have waited until I was home!?”

“Dear, you were merely a distraction to my true objective.”

“Ah, using me again. You never change.” Throwing your hands up in the air, “Did you at least have something made before stealing me away?”

“Dinner is prepared for us, my love. Your favorites.” Bowing as if so pleased with himself because he is, he thought of everything.

“And this is going to be civil?”

“As civil as you remain.”

And so you take his hand as he leads to the prepared dining room, alone. Alone with him.

Into the belly of the beast moment.

“Same chef?” You finished dinner, now having a shared dessert with D.M. beside you. It has been civil, a few quips or sarcastic remarks, for the most nothing argumentative. Yet.

“You said you like the way she makes the velvet cake.”

“And I told you she needed to be given time off to see her son.” Eating a spoonful of cake, “Did you?”

“Of course.” His foot rubs against your calf under the table.

“Désire.”

“I have missed you a great deal.” The lord's free hand touching yours, “We could have talked about this.”

“There was nothing to talk about, Désire.” Slipping your hand away to take a sip of the wine you have been nursing throughout dinner. Must be from his personal collection. “You have your pursues, I have my wants.” Speaking with some liquid courage in you.

“And your wants are for me to fulfill, (Name). Anything you desire and I can grant you it.”

“Do you love me?” Serious as you put the spoon down and lean on the table.

“Of course.”

“You say that but not once did you say it!” Annoyed, “I had to hope you loved me. But it seemed you loved playing games with those detectives over our relationship!”

Then you started yelling, tears ruining your simple stage makeup. God, doing this with a costume on makes this so ridiculous!

The former key to your heart is prepared, you know for he is sounding a lot calmer than you are as emotions flare out. The lord professor, son of a bitch, always so perfect; the Creme De La Creme of society, when your engagement ended— When you ended it, they blamed you. Because Désire Mélodis could do no wrong!

“(Name),” When he stands, you turn in your seat about to follow to stand your ground but when he goes on one knee, reaching into his pocket to pull out the ring, the engagement ring you sent back to him, you stop. “You're mine.” Sometimes it frightens you how sure he sounds. How can this man say without a shadow of a doubt that you are his? “You've always been mine.” The pain of that truth is you have yet to look for another. Oh, and there are suitors who have tried to do the song and dance, none have swept you off your feet like this bastard has.

“You can’t own me.” The wine hits you, “You don’t own me.” He chuckles at those words for it is the last thing you say before he kisses you. The sort of kiss he would give when you are mad at him, the sort that makes you dizzy and cling to his jacket pulling him closer. His finger outlines your jaw down to your throat, his lips leave yours as much as would enjoy staying there…

He is sweet, the sweet that makes you cry more, his arms the safest place you have ever been, and you let him slip the ring back to its rightful place.

The gentleman that he is, painfully at times, he does not take you on the dining table though you hint for him to do it. Instead, he takes you to the guest room (prepared beforehand) to sleep off the wine you drank (he knew to give you more than himself, snake).

In the morning, you will be upset. The lord likes that fire about you, keeps him entertained.

#reader insert #idv #anon ask #idv photographer #photographer x reader #identity v x reader #identity v #identity v x you #identity v photographer #identity v joseph #idv joseph #idv joseph x reader #idv x reader #joseph desaulnier #joseph desaulnier x reader

[that-one-random-writer]

That's My Kind Of Night Chapter 3 *Mature 18+*

|Complete|

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x (Southern!F)Reader

*Rough!Jake* *Protective!Jake* *Shower scene!Jake* *little bit fluff!Jake* just all of the Jake

Summary: Jake takes leave and goes back to Texas. His friend is now married with a woman. This woman's friend gets under his skin, and he loves it. Word count: 3,439

Warnings: cussin', flirtin', heavy banter, guns, party with alcohol, Straight Smut 18+ for sure, a different party man that is too touchy.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Southern Masterlist

Jake looked back through the window, Blake leaned against his ax. "I think that's enough. So Jake..." He trailed. "You know my wife is trying to set you up with Honeybee."

Jake glanced back at Blake after chopping the last piece of wood. "Yeah, your old lady isn't exactly stealthy." He chuckled, leaning against his own ax.

Blake laughed, "Yeah, she's about as subtle as a frieght train."

"I've seen you two sneaking around keeping up with what we were doing." He smiled up at Blake.

"You got them trained eyes, don't you?" He chuckled nervously.

Jake nodded. "Well, yeah, when I'm in the air, I have too." He picked up his ax and put it away.

Blake smirked up at Jake. "So what do you think? Spitfire, ain't she?"

Jake chuckled, "You're scheming with your woman. You'd better be careful, Blake." He paused, shifting his eyes back to the window and then back to blake. "She's definitely a firecracker."

The party begins, and the new and old friends are all showing up. Big boy toys are being taken off trailers and put into the water or on the muddy tracks. Four-wheelers, gators, and dirt bikes are being raced around the trails. Poles are in the water, from boats and on the dock, pulling up catfish, brim, and bass saved to be cooked in the fire later.

Jake sat on the diamond plated tailgate of his truck. Unfortunately for all the women he had threw his shirt back on when people were arriving. He raised his beer as he saw one of his buddies reel in a huge catfish. "Hell yeah, Florence. That's a nice size cat!" Florence, an old buddy waved in appreciation and held the fish up.

Jake took a sip of his beer. He looked towards the shooting range. You stood there with a double barrel shot gun laid against your shoulder lined up for the target. You had on the same muddy pants, only teasing him with holes to show your legs underneath. Your top had changed. It was a tiny black tanktop that dipped low enough it showed your lacy, black bra underneath. There was fringe that fell around your breasts. The fringe stopped where the shirt cut off just below your bra line. He watched your arms as you held the gun. Your sun-kissed skin teased him under the sinking sun. You took your shot, the knock back was there, but nothing you couldn't take. Jake had to admit. He was impressed.

You stood there reloading your weapon. You felt a hand reach to your back and down to your hips. You felt uneasy and folded the gun back together slowly, not being able to load the barrels. You could smell hard liquor on this man's breath. "You look real cute, babe. Do you want me to show you how to use this thing?"

"Get the fuck off of me." You were rough with your words. You pulled away from him and he tried once again to put his hands around you. "I said, get the fuck off of me!" You jerked away turning towards him and kicked faster then he could react due to the intoxication. Your boot connected with the bare flesh on his stomach. He was knocked back and on the ground.

He started to get back. His world spinning around, and it showed as he struggled to get back up.

"You fucking bitch." He screamed. You could see people gathering, one person walked up calmly. He made his way in front of you. You could tell by the cocky walk, the tight ass in his jeans and the bulk in his arms who it was. Jake stood tall in front of the man. "Look what we have here. Dustin Jones, as I live a breathe. Looks like you've done well for yourself. You look great man. I love the missing tooth. Was it the meth or did you just pick the wrong woman to fuck with and she knock it out for you?"

Against Dustin's better judgement, he finally made it to his feet and ripped his fist at Jake's face. Jake caught it in his palm and twisted just enough to make a statement shoving him back to the ground. "Let's face it Dustin, you weren't shit back then and you still ain't shit now." His voice held power, it was slow, deep, smooth. His voice never broke and never faltered. His voice never raised above a talking tone. "I suggest you get on outta here before you get yourself hurt." The group that brought Dustin as an acquaintance grabbed him and dragged him out of view. They were loading his flailing body into a car.

"I'm gonna whoop your ass, Jake!" His voice then got quiet, a car door shutting in his face. The crowd cheered and continued their activities from before.

"I could've handled him." You directed your attention back to the gun in your hand. You hit the release for the break action and quickly replaced two shells. With a quick flick of your wrist you folded the gun back up ready to fire. Jake watched you maneuver the gun with ease, it was hot to see you handle such a powerful weapon. "That's a strange way to say 'thank you'." He watched you shoot both targets and hand the gun back to Damien.

You started walking away from Jake. He followed behind you. "I didnt ask for your help." Jake smirked down as you both stopped.

"You don't have to." He was so reassuring. You almost felt like you could rely on him. A certain level of trust was building around the walls that guarded you. "Thanks, Jake."

You spoke softly.

Jake lifted his brow and his laugh lines lifted with a smirk. "Anytime, Honey"

"Bee." You finished. He had dropped the bee in your nickname, the sting had vanished in your tone of voice so the 'bee' should vanish for him too. "How about we get on the gator? I tell you what..." He trailed. His face softened. "You can drive." He wrapped his arm around your waist and he led you to the track.

The truth was you had decided to give him the chance you promised Vanny. As much as you hate it she was right. He needed a chance in fighting hell, and if you didn't open up at least a little then there was no way you could convince her you at least tried.

He let go of your waist walking to the other side and sitting on the passenger side. "How many times have you been here at the lake house property?" He looked over at you while you turned the key starting it up. You turned on the headlights with it being so close for the moon to start its rise.

"More then I can count in the six years Blake and Van have been together, why?" You shifted to drive, you accelerated and chose the trails at random. "Take me to your favorite place here. You have to have one. I do." He leaned back in his seat while you thought about your favorite place.

You changed course and took the trails. "Why did you join the navy?" Your genuine question took him by surprise. He was expecting your attitude to come back just as fast as it disappeared. "It's been something I wanted to do for as long as I can remember. My family has a military background, and I like the look in peoples eyes when they see me in uniform. The military has its risks, but also has its perks. What about you? Why did you want to be a stylist?"

"I like brightening someone's day. I have women and men come in, their day, week, month even year is absolute shit. They sit in my chair and walk out happier feeling more confident then they did when they walked in." Jake leaned his arm over the seat behind you.

"You've definitely got plenty of confidence to go around." He chuckled. You slapped his leg softly with one hand on the wheel. "You're one to talk." He continued while laughing. "Damn right have you seen me?" You rolled your eyes. "Yeah I have. I see a cocky, arrogant, smoking hot ken doll with a vanity problem" He flashed an award winning smile.

"You think I'm smoking hot?" You glanced at him then turned down another trail. "I'm not saying it again. Your ego is big enough with me saying it once."

"Oh come on, just say it one more time. I'll tell you what I think." You were honestly curious. You weren't insecure. You had your flaws of course, but you knew you had some features that were desired. One great thing that came out of aging is realizing that rule 34 in porn applied to people, too. Someone out there would always find you beautiful, no matter your shape or size. It saved your confidence a lot. You might not be one man's cup of sweet tea, but another would drink you to the last drop happily.

"Jake, you know that you're smoking hot, I don't need to say it." He wrapped his arm around you.

"Yeah, but it sounds so much better coming from a gorgeous woman."

Your Eyebrow raised. "Is that what you think of me, Im gorgeous?"

"Yes. I can't tell you all that I think. It's filthy in there..." You laughed, he reciprocated your laugh with his own. "The mud honey. I've only seen you covered like you just got done taking your four-wheeler out for mud bogging."

"Good thing you asked me to take you to my favorite place..." you trailed as you pulled up to the river that feeds into the lake. There was a sizable waterfall ahead.

"You can't take this one. This is my favorite place." He said, looking up at the water falling. His eyes followed the water pattern.

"Shut up and come on." He looked back at you. His eyes widened. Your shirt was already on the seat. Your lacy bra was squeezing your chest in all the right ways. You unbuttoned your pants and shaked them down your legs. Jake would pay all the money in the world for you to do that again, just this time he wanted to be behind you.

He didn't question you. He just followed your lead. "You are wild, honey bee. I'll give you that." You grabbed the eco soap from your purse.

"I always come here and take a shower in the water. I was going to do it when everyone went to bed tonight, but it's going to be a little harder sneaking out this time..." you trailed unsure if Jake knew the two of you were sharing a room in the cabin. You continued "normally, I dont have anything on but youre not getting a full show." He pulled his shirt over his head.

"You are wild." He was lost for word, speaking the same sentence again. He continued trying to find the right words to say. He loved this embodiment of pure freedom you seemed to have. He just couldn't find a way to tell you how much he liked that about you. He took off his clothes leaving his boxers. You took a heavy flashlight and set it on the hood of the gator. It shined like a spotlight on the water flowing off the mountain. You made your way to the flat rock that created a nice floor and stood under the water.

Jake stopped watching as the water flowed down your hair and skin. Each drop of water seemed to be slow motion. Your lips spilt into a gasp as the cool water teased your neck. You lifted your hair drenching it in the liquid. Jakes eyes trailed down your body. He wanted to soak up every inch in fear that it was the only time he would see it. His eyes connected to your ass as you turned your chest to the water. He realized you were wearing a g string. He couldn't stop the bulge from forming. His hands begging to give the swelling some relief. You turned back towards him. "You gettin' in or are you just gonna stand there in your boxers and watch?" The bubbles forming around your body with the soap being added.

He honestly thought about just taking the show. Jake decided a shower with a hottie in a waterfall would be some story worth telling the boys when he got back home. He walked up to the flat rock and the water cooled his skin.

You watched as the water hit his back. You traced down each muscle with your eyes. Your gaze peeked down to his boxers. You giggled. "God malibu. Your boxers are screaming 'Barbie'." He looked down while adding soap to his body. His pink boxers had palm trees speckled across them. He met your eyes.

"You checking me out?" Your eyes traveled down his strong legs. Then, back to his eyes.

"I'm just making sure you know what you're doing." You spoke softly.

He smirked. "You used that one already." He looked down at you, watching your eyes. You looked back down his body and noticed the growth in his palm trees.

"Oh, I know." You weren't focused out your words. You were focused on the sex appeal of this dream man. It had been so long since you've been touched. You could feel the warmth stirring between your legs. You wanted to hear him say your name in the dirtiest ways, forcing you into positions where you were most vulnerable, you wanted to smell his chemistry mix with yours, you could almost feel his fingers teasing your clit making you beg to cum. You broke from the daze. He was so close to you. His lips were inches from yours. You had been pulling like gravity closer to him, lost in the thought of his sex. If you just take this step. You know you won't turn back. You could feel his throbbing erection where his hand was in your daze. It had pressed perfectly against your clit. You moaned so softly. Just one step. Just one more move, and this could be it. "Jake I, I-" you shuddered as he stepped closer, his member pressing harder against your sensitivity. You wanted this so badly.

"You're driving this time, remember, you tell me where I'm going." He stated so simply.

"I'm - I'm sorry. I'm not the type to just sleep around." He stood still fighting off every nerve in his body.

"What if after tonight we go out on a date, just you and me?" You looked down at his lips looking for the lie, looking for the truth, looking for anything to tell you what his intentions were. Your hips jerked slightly as you tried to fight the urge yourself. You let out another moan as he rubbed unintentionally against your aching body.

"Then what? I move to California? Thats not realistic. I have a life here and we just met." He grabbed your hands pulling them to his chest holding them delicately.

"I have a month here, if you take a month's vacation, you can fly home with me. See how you like California. Ill pay for your expenses. You can run a business out of state. You can build a new life in California. You're free. We dont have to do anything tonight. Just say yes to a date. We can really give this an honest try." His word cut you like a knife. You were so close, your body was ready to take every piece of him. You just had to take one step. You had promised to give him a shot. Your pledge is your reason. You take the step closing the gap suddenly. The kiss is passionate and needy. He releases your hands and grips your waist firmly as if he is worried about losing you. He rocks back and forth teasing your clit with the tip of his boxer covered cock.

The cloth was giving you no protection from the teasing. "I can tell you what I think now." He mumbled into your lips. "Mmm" was all you could muster as your tongue danced with his. He picked your legs up with ease and guided your back to the smooth rock wall. You whined against his lips losing the feeling of his tip on your clit. He broke the kiss, released your legs, and rubbed his fingers up and down the folds of your warmth. "The waterfall wasn't exactly what I had in mind before now..." he trailed. "It wasn't mine either." You cried out as he rubbed softly on your clit again. "Please..." you begged bitterly.

"That was on my mind." He kissed you again and removed his hand.

"Please... Jake." you cried out again.

He rubbed again but it was so soft. You were aching for more force in his touch. "Scream my name as loud as you need to sugar, were miles away from the party. No one is going to hear you cum. I want you to beg for it. Scream my name and your pleads for what you want me to do to you."

"Jake, please touch my pussy." you screamed out as his hand added pressure to your sensitive clit. "Please Jake make me cum." He pushed your thong to the side and pressed his bare palm rubbing with intensity. "Please will you lick my pussy, I need you, Jake. I want to taste myself on your tongue." His laugh lines lifted into his signature smirk.

"You are so fucking sexy." He melted down to his knees. Wanting nothing more then to please you in whatever way you begged him to do so.

His hands pulled down the thong leaving it level to the ground. His tongue rubbed on your clit. You could feel the warmth. You screamed in pleasure as he quickened his pace.

"Please Jake, I'm so close." You could feel the rough texture of his tongue against the most delicate part of your body.

"Jake, I'm cumming!" You scream. He continues as your knees buckle beneath you. You scream in such pleasure. You feel euphoria course through your nerves. Each second feeling the sense of high reaching every possible area on your body.

Jake let you ride out the high against his tongue. He lifted to his feet and you immediately met his lips. Your tongue grazing across his. He gave you everything you asked for. The sweetness of your flavor on his lips giving you what you craved.

He grabbed a handful of hair at the base of your neck. He tilted your head back and sucked the bottom of your neck. He pulled back, letting go of your hair, and looked deep into your eyes. "Please let me make you cum, Jake." His eyes flashed with sheer pleasure. "I'm on the pill. I can take it. Please, Jake I'm begging you. I want your cum." He bit his lip and led you back to the middle of the flat rock. He laid down and you followed him. You straddled him and rocked your hips against his.

"Make... me... cum." He was direct with his order. His eyes rolled back. He could feel the warmth of your pussy rubbing against his throbbing cock. You stripped his boxers down and ripped off your bra. You slid the tip in and circled teasing him. He groaned breathing heavily.

"You're such a tease." He shoved his cock into you thrusting his hips. You screamed out in the sudden pleasure. He groaned as he could feel your walls wrap around his cock. You recovered then bounced up and down his shaft. "You're so tight" He bit his lip and groaned his lifted his hands rubbing you nipples. The cold water of the waterfall now closer, misting your hot bodies. "Jake you're going to make me cum again." Your fingers teased your clit. Your other hand was stabilizing your speed and balance.

"Cum all over me. Cum while I'm inside you. Beg me to cum inside you when hit that high." His thrusting paced matching yours.

"Jake!" You screamed as you clit tingled under your pressured fingertips.

"Please cum inside my tight pussy!" You felt the euphoria take over your body again. Jake sped up and suddenly was thrusting deeply. His eyes rolled back feeling his own high. You were riding it out together as his cum released filling you.

Chapter 4

Go ahead and give me some feedback, please! I'm adding a chapter 4 to this series just to get the ducks in a row. 🥰 Love y'all!

No permissions to share the story as your own. Do not repost to any site. Don't steal from aspiring authors that makes you a 'C U Next Tuesday'!

#glen powell fanfiction #glen powell x reader #glen powell #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman imagine #jake seresin #jake seresin smut #jake seresin x y/n #jake seresin x you #jake hangman smut #hangman smut #hangman x you #hangman x reader #hangman imagine #hangman fanfiction #hangman x oc #hangman fluff #jake hangman fic #hangman angst #top gun fanfiction #rooster bradshaw fic #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw imagine #top gun maverick hangman #top gun maverick #top gun x reader #top gun smut

[whumpster-fire]

Rating the Overlords in Hazbin Hotel:

#10: Valentino. Bitch ass motherfucker supreme. I want him to die and I want it to hurt the whole time he is dying. Fucking scumbag. Also IDGAF if he's a moth I will always maintain the headcanon that the sleazy prick is a pubic louse.

#9: That one blue firey skeleton dude in the meeting who didn't say anything. Has literally no characterization.

#8: Zeezi (that one pink and green lady at the meeting): Has literally no characterization but that color scheme is eye bleeding and I'm here for it.

#7: Rosie. Man she's cool and all, helpful to Charlie, friends with Alastor, but she just doesn't capture my interest the way the others do. Being the overlord of cannibals is a really niche thing it seems like compared to being in control of major forces that are fucking up society, I have a feeling she maintains her position because (a) she's smart, and (b) the other overlords don't really want her domain because taking eating human flesh to the level of an obsession is kind of dweeb behavior.

#6: Velvette. Horrible cringe zoomer iPad kid (or Millennial, I don't know). I absolutely love the fact that she showed up at the meeting and literally everyone else in the room was like "What's with this sassy... lost child?" Has so much potential though for her character to embody the absolute worst of internet culture. Next season I want to see Velvette trolling, going "L + Block + Ratio," and doxxing random sinners and getting them killed for her own entertainment.

#5: Carmilla Carmine. Awesome. I like seeing people in hell who are still people and not obsessed with becoming the most cartoonishly evil motherfucker possible because "hey we're already in hell, might as well get crazy." People can have friends, family, etc. and still do shit that gets them sent to hell. I'm getting "was leader of an organized crime family in life" vibes. Also has vibes of being one of the less horrible overlords to work for because she's emotional stable enough to know that being cruel to your minions for fun is bad for morale.

#4: Husk. Okay he's a former overlord but let's say Overlord Emeritus. He has my respect as an overlord for dying in like the 70s but choosing an absolutely classic vice to make his domain: drinking and gambling. Also the timeline here implies he rose to power when Alastor was already around. I wonder if there was a power vacuum because Al killed the previous overlord of gambling?

#3: Vox. I hate his cringey techbro ass but in a "I want to put this man in a jar and shake it vigorously" way. The fact that he actually enjoys Valentino's company is a major minus though. I kind of wanted to see a strained business relationship where he dislikes Val immensely but works with him because sex sells and Val has the market cornered. Also his voice is kind of... generic. I was really hoping for him to have a Mid-Atlantic Accent but of a more "mid-century TV anchor" type to make it extra clear how much he wants to rip off / replace Alastor and as a part of him that isn't as hip and modern as Mr. Died In the 50s wants to present himself as.

#2: Zestial. Hello Mr. Tall Dark and Mysterious. He is so fucking cool. I want so badly to believe that he and Alastor are genuinely friends and respect each other but also Alastor respects Zestial enough to want him to think he's cool, and when Zestial showed up Alastor internally panicked because of 'Oh shit my friend showed up while I'm being trailed by the lamest minions in hell, he's going to think they're mine this is so embarrassing!'

#1: Alastor. What a fucking guy. This man is being dragged kicking and screaming into character development and I am here for it.

#hazbin hotel #overlords (HH) #alastor hazbin hotel

[columboscreens]

i was going to suggest you do “columbo victims who had it coming” but honestly i think there are really any candidates that fit the bill. the only murder victim who really deserved die was the hack writer in Publish and Perish. harsh, maybe, but his prose was REALLY bad, what can i say.

(combined with)

(i agree that the prose was bad in publish or perish but i do not think that merits death)

i'm gonna omit lauren staton from it's all in the game and grace wheeler from forgotten lady because i feel like they're kind of out of bounds in this consideration. same goes for cases that kind of toe the line between murder and manslaughter, like death lends a hand, dagger of the mind, lovely but lethal, and columbo likes the nightlife.

tommy brown in swan song may be a creepy pedophile, but his belligerent harridan swindler wife who uses tommy's victim as a pawn in her effort to build megachurches...is really asking for it

speaking of bitch wife havers, paul galesko in negative reaction was arguably pretty justified in popping his good lady wife in the head with her constant nasty attitude

roger stanford in short fuse may be a glib, obnoxious young prodigy, but he actually...seems rather justified in his scheme, all things considered. as an eccentric chemist slated to inherit his parents' chemical works company, he's about to have it all ripped from his hands from his sleazy uncle by means of blackmail. honestly the ONLY course of action is to blow him to hell

speaking of eccentrics who pour their entire life into their work...do i even have to say it?

and speaking of nasty piece of shit brothers, beth chadwick in lady in waiting agrees with adrian carsini--sometimes it's the only reason you need

does it smell like fratricide in here or what? in old fashioned murder, ruth lytton defends her museum from her money-grubbing brother in the noble pursuit of the integrity of science and art

kay freestone in make me a perfect murder was very specifically ASKED to do it by her shitty smug fuckbuddy higher-up. don't sleep with your boss folks

try and catch me's abigail mitchell, if she's right about edmund killing her niece, is pretty justifiable. if not...

but i think i'll leave the choice to you guys:

#columbo #ask #swan song #negative reaction #short fuse #any old port in a storm #lady in waiting #old fashioned murder #make me a perfect murder #try and catch me #poll

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Thunder on the Mountain · Bob Dylan

* * * *

Thunder on the mountain, and there's fires on the moon A ruckus in the alley and the sun will be here soon Today's the day, gonna grab my trombone and blow Well, there's hot stuff here and it's everywhere I go

I was thinkin' 'bout Alicia Keys, couldn't keep from crying But she was born in Hell's Kitchen, I was living down the line I'm wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be I been looking for her even clear through Tennessee

Feel like my soul is beginning to expand Look into my heart and you will sort of understand You brought me here, now you're trying to run me away The writing on the wall, come read it, come see what it say

Thunder on the mountain, rolling like a drum Gonna sleep over there, that's where the music coming from I don't need any guide, I already know the way Remember this, I'm your servant both night and day

The pistols are poppin' and the power is down I'd like to try somethin' but I'm so far from town The sun keeps shinin' and the North Wind keeps picking up speed Gonna forget about myself for a while, go out and see what others need

I've been sitting down studying the art of love I think it will fit me like a glove I want some real good woman to do just what I say Everybody got to wonder what's the matter with this cruel world today

Thunder on the mountain rolling to the ground Gonna get up in the morning walk the hard road down Some sweet day I'll stand beside my king I wouldn't betray your love or any other thing

Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches I'll recruit my army from the orphanages I been to St. Herman's church, said my religious vows I've sucked the milk out of a thousand cows

I got the porkchops, she got the pie She ain't no angel and neither am I Shame on your greed, shame on your wicked schemes I'll say this, I don't give a damn about your dreams

Thunder on the mountain heavy as can be Mean old twister bearing down on me All the ladies in Washington are scrambling to get out of town Looks like something bad gonna happen, better roll your airplane down

Everybody's going and I want to go too Don't wanna take a chance with somebody new I did all I could and I did it right there and then I've already confessed – no need to confess again

Gonna make a lot of money, gonna go up north I'll plant and I'll harvest what the earth brings forth The hammer's on the table, the pitchfork's on the shelf For the love of God, you ought to take pity on yourself

[Bob Dylan]

#Bob Dylan #music #songs #lyrics #my favorites #rock and roll #poem #poetry #Youtube

[greenmeanqueen]

Daemon and Rhaenyra, Tyrion and Shae, probably Jaime and Cersei....

I should note that the reason strangulation is especially abhorrent for me when its done by a man to a woman is because victims of strangulation, especially in a domestic violence setting, are overwhelmingly female. It starts as a way of exercising control over a partner, but has an extremely high risk of becoming fatal. It’s a sad reality that I don’t enjoy seeing translated onto the page/screen. Strangling is also such a creepily sexualized form of death, especially for women. Sorry I hate to be serious on Tumblr because I'm here for a good time, but I went through domestic abuse myself and it's a sore spot.

thank you for your ask, anon, and don’t apologize!! your feelings are valid. i think so many of us (including myself!) can say that we’re here for a good time, but there are just some things that put a damper on it, and it’s okay to express that.

i think something about the most recent example of this horrible act that especially bothered me was the public outcry. of course, there will always be apologists for this kind of behavior (especially within the tyr!on stans) — but when GOT whitewashed his actions, him murdering shae was perceived as a sympathetic moment for a betrayed man, while with dæmon i’m mainly seeing that it’s “out of character” and the result of faulty writing. which… no. HOTD has had some messy writing, but dæmon being a shitty partner? that’s perfectly in-character. let me count the ways:

blatantly insulting nickname for rhea royce (“bronze bitch”) because how dare he have to marry!! especially a strong-willed woman who won’t kiss his ass!! and for these heinous crimes, dæmon murdered her.

dragging mysaria into his political scheming when all she wanted was to be “liberated from fear”, i.e. survive in a world that had treated her like garbage with her best chance (a privileged man who still had power over her). lying about her pregnancy to spark conflict with his family because he was no longer being considered for the most uncomfortable chair, which could have gotten her killed.

disregarding the wishes of laena to return home and raise her daughters and unborn child on driftmark around her family. treats her like an afterthought, a “consolation wife” because he didn’t get who he really wanted.

grooming his niece rhaenyra since she was a child. and when she dares to no longer worship the ground he walks on, when she dares to know things that he does not (have this shred of power over him), he strangles her.

this has all been there, since episode one. the whole of HOTD so far has been very clear about the kind of partner dæmon is. while everything that has happened in the show is not necessarily book-accurate, his fundamental personality is, and was received well by the GA until the finale. he was never going to magically change because of some “true love” with rhaenyra. she is, and always has been, a victim of him, alongside these other ladies.

#if i have forgotten to mention another shitty thing demon did to a partner forgive me and please add on #anti daemon targaryen #anti daemyra #anti daemon x rhaenyra #anti targ stans #anti tyrion lannister #rhaenyra targaryen #mysaria #rhea royce #laena velaryon #house of the dragon spoilers #ask a gal

[thephantomcasebook]

Any headcanons for Alicent Hightower’s mother???

I cover a lot of this in my fanfic stuff, but, since that's been on hold for awhile, I super don't mind covering it here.

Lady Hightower (The White Lady of the Hand)

My take on Alicent's mother is that she was Dornish, the daughter of the former Lord of Starfall, and that after a border incursion and battle, that part of the peace brokered by the Hightowers on behalf of the Tyrells and Jaehaerys was that Otto was to marry the new Lord Dayne's aunt. Otto was duty bound and unflinching, till he saw her on their wedding day, and then he was completely in love with her. He was never sure if she ever loved him, but he knew that she loved their children more than anything, and that' when he held her at night she snuggled to him. And that was enough.

She was often considered the most beautiful woman in all of Westeros. Her nickname was "The White Lady" or "The White Lady of the Hand" cause she always wore the most exquisite white dresses with silver belts and circlets, or satin of the most beautiful pearl. People said that she was more queenly than Rhaenys and Aemma combined and that Aemma was secretly bitter and incredulous of her, and that she didn't like being seen together, because, people would start comparing them.

Daemon hated her with a passion. He wasn't the worlds biggest fan of Aemma, but she was a Targaryen, and a Valyrian Queen, and he saw it as a personal insult to House Targaryen that Lady Hightower was more beautiful and regal than his sister-in-law. He took joy in insulting her but then retreated behind an air of jovial spirits when Otto and Viserys called him out. He saw her beauty and glamour as a manifestation of Otto's ambitions, making his "foreign bitch" grander than the royal family. When she died, was one of the best days in Daemon's life.

She was the sounding board for Otto and knew all of his plans and ambitions, and helped him achieve them. But she was against him using their children in his schemes and was even against Alicent being friends with Rhaenyra, not only because she felt that their friendship seemed manufactured by Otto and would hurt Alicent in the long run, but that Lady Hightower knew the measure of Rhaenyra since she was young, and knew what kind of person she would turn into.

Lady Hightower always referred to her children as "The Babes" no matter how old they were. While she was alive she closely guarded her children's childhoods, and made sure that they knew that it was safe to be children and enjoy childish pleasures.

One time, while staying in Oldtown, Lady Hightower and Alicent were walking by a toy maker with the most beautifully crafted dolls imaginable. She caught that Alicent was taken in by them, despite being just a bit too old for dolls anymore. The girl didn't say anything, but Lady Hightower caught the girl looking back wistfully one last time as they walked away.

Later, on her name day, Alicent opened her gift to reveal that it was one of the dolls from the shop. It was commissioned by Lady Hightower before they left Oldtown and delivered to King's Landing in time for Alicent's name day. To protect her from Rhaenyra's mockery, Lady Hightower said that she knew Alicent was too old for dolls, but she would always be her little girl no matter how old she got.

The doll in question was made and commissioned to be in the exact same likeness to Lady Hightower, so that Alicent could always have her with her, no matter what happens. Alicent didn't know what that meant ... till she died some months later. Then, the doll became her most prized possession, that no one was allowed to touch - not even her own children.

However, when Daeron was sent South to Oldtown - ripped from Alicent's arms due to Rhaenyra and Harwin's schemes - Alicent gave the doll to Daeron, saying to him that "Grandmamma will keep you safe". Daeron kept the doll with him the entire time and slept with her every night in his arms. When he returns to King's Landing, he tried to return her to Alicent, but she told him that his Grandmamma was serving a far more important purpose now, telling him to keep her close in this war. Thus, the doll becomes Daeron's most prized possession and Lucky charm - either held in his arms in sleep while on Campaign or stuffed in his inner coat during battle.

It is also fortuitous that Alicent gives Daeron the doll, cause, out of all the children of Gwayne and Alicent, Daeron is the most like his grandmother - sometimes her spitting image in the moonlight. And when Otto first lays eyes on Daeron as a small boy, he is thunderstruck by his likeness to his late beloved wife.

From that moment on, Otto takes a very hands on mentoring of Daeron and the two have a special connection. Sometimes when Daeron gets mad, or says something in jest, he turns to find his grandfather stricken or haunted by the way he spoke, his expression ... it was so much like ... like her.

Sometimes, at night, Criston hears humming, and when he checks, he sees Daeron sleeping with his cheek nuzzled to the breast of a beautiful dark haired woman in pearly satin gown that reflects moonlight. She rocks him back and forth comfortingly, humming as she strokes his hair loving.

But when Criston blinks, he only see Daeron nestled to the doll of Lady Hightower.

#House of the Dragon #Alicent Hightower #Gwayne Hightower #Otto Hightower #Daeron Targaryen #Daeron the Daring

[greypetrel]

✨Meet the Blorbos✨

Or: a small guide to my characters and AUs in Dragon Age universe. They’re all in continuity, I played more than once and suffer from a sever case of indecision, so here you go.

A small scheme, and more details under the cut! Yes they're colour coded of course.

Dragon Age Origins: Alyra Mahariel. Double-wielding Rogue, Duelist + Bard, True Neutral, ❤️ Alistair / Morrigan

Dragon Age II: Raina Hawke. Double-wielding Rogue, Shadow, Chaotic Good, ❤️Merrill+Isabela > The Trash Raccoon Garrett Hawke. Mage, Spirit Healer + Blood mage, Chaotic Good, ❤️ Fenris

Dragon Age Inquisition: Aisling Lavellan. Mage, Lightning + Knight Enchanter, Neutral Good, ❤️Cullen Radha Lavellan. Double-wielding Rogue, Tempest, True Neutral, ❤️ Solas

THE AUs:

DadWolf AU: Modern time AU, follows da2 + Inquisition. Solas woke up 30 years before, Varric is older and Malcolm's best friend. They co-parent Aisling and Dorian, shenanigans happen.

Dark Lady AU: Someone on Instagram asked me if Aisling was Sauron. It's a crossover between Dragon Age and LOTR/The Silmarillion where Aisling is Sauron. "It was all a big misunderstanding". Read it here!

Whale AU: Fully historical, non fantasy AU. Aisling is a zoologist with an hyperfixation for sperm whales, she saves Cullen, a harpooner after a shipwreck caused by a whale.

Cuties Coexisting: A parallel world, Fenris met the Lavellan and hid with them until Act 2 in Dragon Age. Fenris/Lavellan, very very angsty, I'm not planning on writing more of it, but it's open for prompts if you like it. Read it here! (named by @/daggerbean )

Alyra Mahariel

Double-wielding Rogue, Duelist + Bard, the shade of True Neutral that’s tired of everyone’s shit and is not remotely paid enough to deal with your problems, but will do it anyway because somebody might as well.

No-shit-taken person, she appears to be cold and unsympathetic, dued to the mother of all resting bitch face and the nice tendency to not blink when you’re saying something particularly stupid and she wants to underline that she’s judging you. Will go down in a fight when she’s dead, and it will take a while to kill her. Under the surface she’s very caring: her Vallaslin is for Sylaise, the goddess of the Hearth, and she will do many things to protect her loved ones. She’s reliable, once you’re on her good side or she feels responsible in keeping you alive, she will. Would manage to sell ice cubes to penguins.

Pansexual and poly, romanced both Morrigan and Alistair. Currently Warden-Commander of Fereldan, in a tense relationship with Weisshaupt, Arlessa of Amaranthine and Chancellor (and mistress) of King Alistair. Did the ritual, Kieran is 100% her son if you ask her. Don’t speak good of the Guerrins to her.

Raina Hawke

Double-wielding Rogue, Shadow, Chaotic DumbassGood and official Purple trash raccoon.

Would reply with a witty remark even in a life or death situation, is the queen of awful coping mechanisms. Very street-wise, never had some formal training, learnt everything on the go becoming something very difficult to predict in a fight. Human disaster, disappointed her mother in every single one of her life choices, on purpose after Malcolm died and the mediator between them was no more. She took care of the farm and her siblings, will go the extra mile and some to keep everyone safe and fed and warm, but refused to abide to any other request. Is the chilliest person in the world, will not question and be friendly -if you like a witty, sarcastic friend that is- until you step outside her boundaries. Won’t shut up if the ideals she believes in are crossed, and can’t stand people in power who do nothing. She knits like her life depend on it, all her friends have hand-knitted garments as gifts. Will only refer to Varric as “Her beloved husband”, particularly if there’s Bianca around.

Lesbian, in a happy poly relationship (after fucking up gloriously with both) with Merrill and Isabela. Sided with the Mages, exiled Anders at the end. Carver with the Wardens, Bethany in the Circle, if you ask her it’s all her fault.

Garrett Hawke

Mage, Blood mage + Spirit healer, Chaotic Good and the one who just knew he would have better stayed in his bed today. He knew it.

One year younger than Raina, they grew up together, joined at the hip. He just wants to live a peaceful life, have his own farm, grow pumpkins and cabbages and go with the flow. As it is, will let Raina lead towards the next crazy adventure and tone her down a little, or catch her when she’s choosing something overtly risky. It was him who convinced Raina to take Carver but leave Bethany at home for the Deep Roads and he never really forgave himself for it. Particularly because Raina took the blame for it. Got the message from Malcolm that if he wanted to make it as an Apostate, the number one rule was to lay low, be pleasant. Will not stay at home if his family or friends are in danger, tho. Learnt Spirit Healing from Anders, but he’s not extremely talented for it: knows the basics, can stitch up cuts, his talent with Spirits are bones. Learnt Blood magic spending more and more time with Merrill when she moved in with Raina, and that’s his talent. He usually mixes the two things: if he’s a mediocre healer with Spirits, he is pretty talented drawing energy from blood, manipulating it and the body to heal. Keen for the same reason on manipulating and using Water in his magic. Everything that flows. Has a severe case of Dad humour.

Bisexual, romanced Fenris. Same choices as Raina, he would have forced Anders to fix his mess up, but considering he used him and his sister and de facto involved them without telling them… Didn’t put up a fight.

Aisling Lavellan

Mage, Lightning + Knight Enchanter. So much of a Neutral Good she is your mom friend and therapist and she's not cottagecore, she's directly grandma-core. Will ask if you ate. And serve you something more anyway.

She was adopted by the Lavellans at 6 and put her whole effort into becoming the best Second ever. And she managed: she passed as First as soon as she got her Vallaslin. The former First, Pavyn, was more socially savvy than her, but didn’t put her effort. Could be a Spirit Healer, but when she was 20 she had to restore to Blood Magic to save her friend and got scared that she never touched any Healing spell again. Instead, she’s a decent herbalist, convinced that everything can be solved with enough Elfroot treated in the necessary way. Horse Girl extraordinaire and a very practical person who likes to work more than to talk. Nice and welcoming, will give a second chance to almost everyone (the big exception is Erimond). Hates being called the Herald of Andraste. Magically very savvy, she’s not the most powerful spellcaster around, but she’s extremely precise: would catch a running rabbit with a lightning. Loves to experiment on magic with Dorian, they formed a great team working together: he theorizes, she puts in practice, they’ll invent teleportation given enough time.

Bisexual, romanced Cullen (tried to romance Cassandra, you can mock her for having a Templar kink). The Inquisition is for all, strongly refused being the Herald of Andrasted. Mages as full-fledged allies, Wardens rehabilitated, Celene reconciled with Briala and on the throne (with some blackmail just in case, but she couldn’t bring herself to like Gaspard or trust he won’t turn on Briala at the first chance). Didn’t drink from the Well, disbanded the Inquisition and became a Red Jenny. Chose to redeem Solas if that was possible.

Radha Lavellan.

Rogue, Tempest. True Neutral and a person who’ll read you in five minutes, the Keeper told her her Vallaslin was either Dirthamen or none.

Elder adopted sister of Aisling, she and Pavyn (eldest) are the sons of the Keeper. She stood around mages for enough to know some theory and use it for her specialization. A woman of few words, won’t speak if she has nothing important to say, and passes as haughty and judgemental even if she’s not. She just likes to observe people and gather every single scrap of knowledge she can get her hands upon. She should have been the one to travel to the Conclave and spy, but Aisling convinced the Keeper and the Clan to go in her place. Feeling guilty, she jumped on the first ship as soon as Aisling wrote and told them she had to stay with the Inquisition, to help her. Sees her as her responsibility, and struggled to accept the fact that she was not. Since it was clear when she arrived at Skyhold that Aisling couldn’t get back to the clan any time soon, she joined in, and started to work with Leliana, as a spy. And oh she’s good at it. Hurt her hand badly in a fight, her right hand can’t grab fully and isn’t strong at all. Learnt to work around it, is pretty much ambidextrous in activities that doesn’t require a strong grip.

Romanced Solas. (ouch) Didn’t agree with Aisling on the Wardens, Celene or the Well of Sorrows, but she was the one educated to lead, and she trusts her judgement.

#dragon age #dragon age oc #warden mahariel #inquisitor lavellan #female hawke #aisling lavellan #aisling the dark lady au #dadwolf au #cuties coexisting #alyra mahariel #raina hawke #garrett hawke #radha lavellan #greypetrel #writing petrel #character masterpost #Ask me about my blorbos #it's been AGES since I planned on doing something like that and finally it's here! #Radha: “She's my sister.” *Aisling proceeds in making a joke about poop* Radha: “... She's adopted.”

[4-hour-naps]

Tom Cardy lyrics as incorrect Dazai quotes from every song

In order of most fun/fitting. I feel uniquely qualified to make this. But I add more unnecessary commentary as we go.

Big Breakfast

“Hey Patricia can you bring me a kitchen sink so I can drown myself infront of all your clientele”

Artificial Intelligence

“So i guess that i feel a little sad, that i can't feel all the ways it feels to be human”

Perception Check

“you’re a short motherfucker and nobody likes you”

Why am I Anxious

“I would try to do anything to make my life feel better, except anything that my life feels better”

High Five

“Could it be me buyin' everyone a round of Fireball, but then drinkin' them all. And then tellin' your girlfriend that you're cheatin' on her with me” (This whole part tbh)

The Ballad of Smoking Joe Rudeboy

“I know that their packing heat, and I know they know I’m the man to beat”

Mixed Messages

“I’m really sorry for punching your dad in the dick I won’t do it again…I ball up my other hand and punch your dad in the dick again” (does anyone even have a dad in bsd)

Business Man

“Ahh! You shot me in the leg!” (Like he could’ve said literally have said this, bonus: “no, you’ve got a dumb name”)

HYCYBH

“Have you checked your butthole” (specifically after the grandma dies part. I can see him doing this to Kuni for like a week straight, purposely hiding stuff just to say it)

Read Between the Lines

“please don’t misunderstand me I’ll always leave you a clue” (the clue in question only Ranpo understands)

Big Dumb Idiot

“Light on my feet as I sneak into your house, be a giant fuckin' idiot, then sneak back out”

Hey I don’t work here

“That way I could teach your kid to drown in front of you” (he is an expert… or is he?… I mean cause he..)

.・゜゜・ things get a little iffy here ・゜゜・．

Paint That Lady

“Do you want to be my lady? I want to raise your babies. My only job is to pleasure you” (Lying through his teeth to get laid)

Carol Brown

“Mimi will no longer see me. Brittany, Brittany hit me. Paula, Persephone stela and Stephanie. There must be fifty ways that lovers have left me” (womanizer king /j)

Get Louis Theroux

“I was being to feel 👹 omnipotent👹” (okay maybe he wouldn’t but… like to scare Chuuya or smth? Idk I just like this part okay??)

Party Dog

“So kiss the ring motherfucker and then I’ll let you stay”

Beautiful Mind

“I, know, so sit back and enjoy thе show” (said after he has crafted the most devious of schemes)

Your Love is Not Enough

“You’re love is not enough, give me some really cool shit”

Call Your Mother

“You've got the power to be a massive sick cunt” (somehow trying to encourage atsushi)

Monster Truck

“I’ll stab you in the face bitch” (? To Mori idk)

・゜゜・．I struggled with these songs ・゜゜・．

Naughty or Nice

“When he thinks no one is watching, I’m watching” (uhh.. )

#inspirational

“I use emojis to deflect” (he would)

Future of Humanity

“Spit in my mouth for mankind” (I will not be taking feedback here)

Red Flags

“You know the deal (Pucker up)” (did I just pick this bc it’s funny? Yes)

(That’s all the songs on Spotify + perception check, there are probs other unreleased songs but)

#bsd dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs dazai #bsd incorrect quotes #what is this? idk but I was giggling making it so that’s what matters ig #cw cursing #cw cussing #tw sui ideation #nap talking

[hiddenwashington]

                                       we are the april fools

welcome to the brain cell of the admin team working! we love a good bit so, here is a compilation of our bullshit for your memeing pleasure. enjoy!

**tw for nsfw, drug mention, alcohol mention, swearing

‘ fuck off you fucking gremlin ’

‘ mister mistoffelees is my cat boyfriend ’

‘ one is a kink, one is a crime ’

‘ i live for chaos you gotta feed me ’

‘ i’ll continue being an asshole for your amusement ’

‘ i’m ready, bring on the anxiety ’

‘ hey bro, what the fuck ’

‘ we’ll scar ourselves for valentines day ’

‘ and then she wrote me a novel about his cocaine addiction ’

‘ sponsored by ritz cheese crackers, absolute shit ’

‘ you have no legacy, your legacy is to be disappointed all the time ’

‘ you’re like some sad soccer mom that came for the wine instead of your kids soccer game ’

‘ karen can choke i would never forget the sangria ’

‘ your moms dead, i’m your problem now ’

‘ it is i, the mullet of your dreams ’

‘ you cannot mention pornhub! this is why you’re not hr ’

‘ i’m on the clock to knock your lights out ’

‘ i’m livin la tiddy loca ’

‘ she was hot, i don’t know what to tell you ’

‘ righting the world and the economy one karen at a time ’

‘ you can fight my brain and my anxiety sis we’re having ✨a terrible time✨ ’

‘ i’m on it drag that bitch to denny’s i’ll take her ass out ’

‘ can god stop vibe checking me ’

‘ today i learned that cocaine could be an antidepressant if the government weren’t cowards ’

‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can’t stop me ’

‘ ted bundy is up first i will square up ’

‘ one day i will have the pleasure of going to hell and murdering freud ’

‘ i will not face consequences for my actions. you can not make me ’

‘ i can accept that i have a flaw or two. that’s it though, just two ’

‘ i know you try very hard, but you are very stupid ’

‘ let’s go straight, a thing we’ve never said before in this groupchat ’

‘ you better be ready to sleep with moth man - hi dad! ’

‘ that’s like the saddest uwu i’ve heard in my life ’

‘ i just want the thrill of rejecting a god ’

‘ you really think you could take on the kool-aid man and take no damage??? ’

‘ i don’t have a foot fetish, i’m just autistic ’

‘ i haven’t even learned multiplication, how am i supposed to know what a pyramid scheme is? ’

‘ do i look sexy while dying? ’

‘ have you been watching too much youtube? ’

‘ fucking ipad kids, man ’

‘ i can be sane about this i promise but not today ’

‘ i’m a catch and i can also sleep with a younger man ’

‘ how do you milk an oat ’

‘ fuck my dad ’

‘ sometimes you just need to start swinging ’

‘ i just watched a cat girl walk out of thin air in a starbucks ’

‘ isn’t that that furry thing people are into ’

‘ i’m gonna go on The Google and see if i can figure anything out ’

‘ am i high too? ’

‘ fuck off bambi ’

‘ since there was no warning and i make the rules here ’

‘ you’ll go where i say you’ll go ’

‘ does a - mother fucker ’

‘ gonna play chase the emo ’

‘ we love biting dilfs….? ’

‘ optimistic nihilism, right? none of us matter ’

‘ it’s kinda cringe to be kidnapped ’

‘ you rolled a 5, stfu this rabbit’s coming to brand you ’

‘ is he immune to KNIVES?? ’

‘ alright – now to kill this dad ’

‘ if you think garfield is going to stand against me in court, you’re out of your fucking mind ’

‘ no offense but you have like no mom vibes ’

‘ i think i got threatened by a furry ’

‘ speak of the cat lady and she shall appear ’

**shotguns frappuccino** ‘ there’s many ways to drink a drink ’

‘ these hands are magic, baby ’

‘ are you saying naruto is jesus?? ’

‘ your pride is going to get us killed ’

‘ you look like you could fit under a bush ’

‘ y’all test me… ’

‘ it’s your reward for being a dumb bitch ’

‘ i am SO GLAD you didn’t get vored by a cloud ’

‘ did you get so high/drunk you circled back to sober? ’

‘ try to crowd surf the third graders! ’

‘ some things are better off unknown , the phrase will haunt me but… ’

‘ we’ve summoned satanic tennessee ’

‘ what’s a chakra? i didn’t bring anything with me ’

‘ hey lady, did you give me crack ? ’

‘ there are no nutrients in my body, only spite! ’

‘ i’m here to be fun and cute! not smart! ’ 

‘ i don’t joke about setting timers ’

‘ eggs aren’t meat... yet ’

‘ this is being run by a bisexual maniac ’

‘ maybe nessie’s lonely, maybe nessie needs to get laid! ’

‘ biting is my kink ‘

‘ don’t worry, i will slowly eat away at you until you are a husk of a person ’

#meme day #long post tw #featuring the hits from two dnd campaigns and nightmare comments in the admin discord

[drkxsh]

If These guys were Gangsters

Follow up from the last post

Mammon

• Mammon rides solo which makes him more of a plug, since he’s real scary but them witches might as well be a gang themselves

• He takes you out for drives at night since you’re busy in the day. His clients usually invite him to these crazy parties or get togethers so he likes to take you with him

• You spend most of your time together in the car so prepare for him to talk your ear off when he’s driving.

• He loves things that aren’t his so if you’re seeing someone else that’s right up his alley. He doesn’t like fighting but he fights baby and he shoot back if he gotta. He’s so fun and open that you gone leave yo old hoe.

• He’s the type to purposely break your window, claim it was an accident just so he can sneak in when he pleases.

• Like I said he gets into a lot so he tries a lot of things. Like piercing himself, he’s gonna fake like he can’t do it so you can be on him but if your scared he’ll do it himself until you can’t watch anymore and he’ll stop. He likes reactions so he’s gonna manipulate his actions to get them.

• Now Mammon is about his money so if by any chance he gets robbed… you won’t have a man cause he’s gonna die about his money

• Speaking of money if you do a lil dance you will get some bills thrown your way. He’s banned from every strip club cause he likes to steal the money so you don’t have to worry about that.

• Mammon’s Instagram attracts the masses cuz u know… HE GOT THAT SHIT ON. He fly asf, he gets distracted at the ladies in his comments… and on the block but he has self control.

• He doesn’t wanna disrespect you, but he will unknowingly test his limits. He loves his clients and the money he makes.

Lucifer

• He’s the corrupt Mayor

• It depends on who you are, if you’re more of a hood rat or you volunteer. He doesn’t care he like it all as long as you can listen and act right when the time come

• Behind close doors I know Lucifer loves all that ghetto shit. Yell, talk back, get mad, roll your eyes, twerk with no music, blast music in the burbs, because at the end of the day Lucifer always has the upper hand because he simply knows he does. You WILL do whatever he says.

• He doesn’t ask for much just sit pretty and count his money. That’s all he needs and you will have everything you want.

• Just don’t let him catch you where you’re not supposed to be.

• He really doesn’t want you around while he works, he makes you count money so you won’t wanna follow him. He already knows how much it is, he’s always scheming to have a child- I mean to have something to keep you occupied.

• he is the Mayor so you’ll have to go out the community and give little speeches. He’ll tell you what to say and it’s probably the worst time you’ll ever have. There’s a tremendous award if you do it right.

• Lucifer is quiet so he’s a whisperer which means he like to get up close. Especially behind closed doors, he even keeps some of your things in his desk drawer.

• He goes to the gun range on his free time. Whenever he feels you staring too hard, he’ll smile slightly, look back at his target and miss

• He loves it when you put him on, music, dances, food trends, jewelry. He likes when you try on new styles, even if doesn’t like it he’ll never say it to your face

Asmodeus

• Now Asmo isn’t the gang type, I really put him here cause you know. He’s a pedestrian around the block. But I got something for him.

• Asmo be outside, every block party, every club, every stripper know him. If you don’t know Asmo you don’t be outside.

• I can’t even imagine Asmo smoking but he’s got a few pics of him. He’s held a firearm like once. He doesn’t drive or work but he takes Miami trips.

• He’s a scammer and you gotta pay to learn his methods. He does hair, nails and designs clothes so I guess he does work but not for real.

• You’ve got to be one fly bitch to get Asmo’s attention because if he doesn’t know you like him and you hang around him, you’ll be heartbroken at the sights you see

• Don’t look through his phone either, or his contact names… probably not his snap either

• Since you are that bitch, big money Asmo will buy anything for you and fly you out. He’ll also delete every number, he gone act right when he gets cuffed.

• He does all the holiday couple stuff, takes your pictures and posts you everywhere. Just be his test dummy for his new wig and nail colors.

Beel

• For the sake of, we’re gonna say you also don’t know they sellin crack out the family restaurant.

• He starts out subtle, giving you extra food and telling you not to worry about it. Making you sweets and telling you that it’s only a test item for the day.

• He’s pretty formal so he’ll ask you out, then you decide to surprise him because he said he was at work. When you got there he wasn’t in the kitchen or behind the register. So now you think he’s cheating.

• You text him and he doesn’t answer so you leave, he calls you when he gets off and invites you to his place. He doesn’t sound like he’s trying to hide anything cause he’s a bad liar so you go.

• So you told him what happened and he says that he was working in the back the whole day. He complains how it’s not his favorite cause it’s messy and the clean up takes forever.

• So you like cool he probably seasoning and prepping meats. So as time goes on the people know you and are cool with letting you come through the kitchen

• So he tells you to pull up during a slow day while he’s in the back… he opens the door for you and why do you see a full wash and set crack lab. You’re stunned cause you’ve been dating a dealer this whole time. Like the mayor Lucifer walk through this bitch and pay him big money.

• Beel doesn’t care cause that money is sweet and it keeps him beyond feed. You can’t care enough cause Beel’s favorite thing is to sneak peeks at your phone and buy whatever you’re looking at without asking.

• All of Beel’s friends are gangsters and dealers that come through the restaurant. He’s cool, level headed, likes to eat, play sports and always where you can find him.

• They tend to purposely make him mad and put him against strong guys just so they can bet, $100 a seat and his friends don’t like to fumble bags.

• A cool dude that keep his baby fly and well fed

Diavolo

• He may not know exactly what he’s doing, but all he knows is that he has to make money and he has to have people under him. Good thing he’s charismatic and a natural born hustler, a go getter

• Once he’s comfortable at the top he’ll be focused on other things. Like you, he sees you with one of his guys and he wants in. Who doesn’t want the man on top?

• He has like this natural sense of responsibility and an instinct to spoil you. So once he has you, you start to to know all the tea.

• Mfs cannot stand how Diavolo eased his way to the top and can actually do it right so he got opps. He’s not a killer but people push him, now you watch him sing apologies on the news, preaching about less violence.

• He’s got the mayor scared sometimes because even though Lucifer chose the route of the mayor, Diavolo took it a step further so Lucifer comes to Diavolo with all his street problems

• Diavolo can still live his life with you and have ample amount of free time. He has to be in hiding most of the time anyways

• Per usual you get what you want when you’re with him. You easily double cross or murder him he won’t fight back but his men would, that’s just the type of guy he is

• You almost wouldn’t think he was a simp or a killer when you first meet him. That’s why he’s dangerous too bad he can’t read a room. Good thing he has you to explain it to him when he comes back home and tells you the tea.

Barbatos

• A real menace, cold blooded and hearted killer. A true deceiver and a man of many crafts almost like he’s lived a few lives.

• Freak hoes are my favorite out the labels. He’s a big one, he was pimping at one point so he knows a few things. Keeps a few playthings in circulation so if you think your a main you’re mistaken

• If you piss him off your getting robbed and roasted, start acting up and he will just shoot you. He’s got money to make but he’s also got fighting words.

• If you get random jewelry gifts you walking around with dead money around your neck. He only works for Diavolo and he’s the best at cleaning up his loose ends.

• If you see him more than just the weekends that means Diavolo is probably laying low and that means he is too, and you just happen to always have nothing going on.

• If you continuously say stuff he likes that catches him off guard he might settle down. He’s like a completely different person behind closed doors. Peace really changes a person.

•He’s really petty so if one of old hoes give him a look he’ll smile and kiss you in front of them. You just think he’s being sweet cause he’s so slick. He’s grimy so cross him and he’s sending pics of him with your whole family if that’s what it takes to get back at you.

Simeon

• If Barbatos needs a favor he’s gonna ask Simeon. Simeon doesn’t fight or shoot back but he’s a trickster and he’s convincing. He’s seen a lot but he doesn’t do much. Plus Barbatos is the only one he would never backstab.

• He doesn’t tell anyone he has a son so if you know that Luke is his son then you’re special. The most people know is that Luke sells mini cakes and Simeon drives for the deliveries.

• Simeon hustle too, how do you think that crack in that restaurant be getting around?

•Simeon has face so he gets hit on by all the customers but he’s loyal and he’s got a kid to feed. That’s why he doesn’t do too much, Luke the first priority.

• When he comes back home to see you and Luke icing his cakes he feels less guilty. Easy money is still good money but one day he’ll leave it behind.

• Very affectionate, visits you at work with food. Takes you out all the time, cooks, hard to imagine what he does for money.

• Very clean, doesn’t take anything from work back with him, immediately takes a shower when he walks through the door. Luke is a fed fr so he absolutely can’t be caught lackin.

• He could start sellin plates but Beel would run him out of business like he does Luke. He does preorders for the regular public.

#I do not write #I’ve been dead busy #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #otome game #obey me brothers #obey me mammon #obey me luficer #mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me headcanons #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon

[redwolf17]

genna taking joy hill her bastard niece with her rather than stay behind to help tywin's golden twins (not that she could have done much) gets more satisfying when you remember the state of gerion and tywin relationship which was not good

I guess? Gerion and Tywin weren't mortal enemies or anything; Genna being fond of Gerion wouldn't offend Tywin, although he probably would not be thrilled that there was help to be had for a bastard Lannister but not for his own children… Then again, when he learned about the incest Tywin wanted to have Cersei's tongue cut out and stick her in the silent sisters 😬

Side note, while Genna is amusing in her brief canon cameo, she's pretty approving of Tywin's actions:

"Men say that Tywin never smiled, but he smiled when he wed your mother, and when Aerys made him Hand. When Tarbeck Hall came crashing down on Lady Ellyn, that scheming bitch, Tyg claimed he smiled then. And he smiled at your birth, Jaime, I saw that with mine own eyes. You and Cersei, pink and perfect, as alike as two peas in a pod . . . well, except between the legs. What lungs you had!"

"Hear us roar." Jaime grinned. "Next you'll be telling me how much he liked to laugh."

"No. Tywin mistrusted laughter. He heard too many people laughing at your grandsire." She frowned. "I promise you, this mummer's farce of a siege would not have amused him. How do you mean to end it, now that you're here?"

...

"Tired?" His aunt pursed her lips. "I suppose he has a right to be. It has been hard for Kevan, living all his life in Tywin's shadow. It was hard for all my brothers. That shadow Tywin cast was long and black, and each of them had to struggle to find a little sun. Tygett tried to be his own man, but he could never match your father, and that just made him angrier as the years went by. Gerion made japes. Better to mock the game than to play and lose. But Kevan saw how things stood early on, so he made himself a place by your father's side."

"And you?" Jaime asked her.

"It was not a game for girls. I was my father's precious princess . . . and Tywin's too, until I disappointed him. My brother never learned to like the taste of disappointment." She pushed herself to her feet. "I've said what I came to say, I shan't take any more of your time. Do what Tywin would have done."

"Did you love him?" Jaime heard himself ask.

His aunt looked at him strangely. "I was seven when Walder Frey persuaded my lord father to give my hand to Emm. His second son, not even his heir. Father was himself a thirdborn son, and younger children crave the approval of their elders. Frey sensed that weakness in him, and Father agreed for no better reason than to please him. My betrothal was announced at a feast with half the west in attendance. Ellyn Tarbeck laughed and the Red Lion went angry from the hall. The rest sat on their tongues. Only Tywin dared speak against the match. A boy of ten. Father turned as white as mare's milk, and Walder Frey was quivering." She smiled. "How could I not love him, after that? That is not to say that I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man that he became . . . but every little girl needs a big brother to protect her. Tywin was big even when he was little." She gave a sigh. "Who will protect us now?"

#the weirwood queen #always enjoy a good ask #genna lannister

[taintedsoul-if]

I’m having way too much fun with these prompts, I apologize in advance if I send too many 🥹

[ TAUNT ]  for one muse to flirt with a third party to try and get the other to act possessively. (The one flirting being the MC)

[ TAKE ]  for one muse to passionately kiss the other,  fueled by jealousy. 

And the RO is Cadmus.

I may or may not have an unhealthy love for jealousy and possessiveness 🫣

My beloved anon I forgot about this ask! Forgive me. I hope this is good enough!

Warning Unedited!

You were aware of his presences but at the same time you did not care. Didn't he disappear for over a month? You couldn't even contact him. You had tried questioning Nightingale, about his whereabouts but she was tight-lipped.

Your eyes flittered over the banquet hall, in boredom. Yesenia was nestled in the arms of Trysten with a smug look on her face. She looked as if she had won the noble prize of the year. The empress clinked, her wine glass gently with her spoon. The banquet hall quieted down as everyone gave her their undivided attention.

"It brings me great joy to see you all gathered here on this special occasion," The empress said earnestly. "It was not too long ago our imperial city was invaded by those cannibalistic fiends. But because of one woman's act of bravery, we're still able to see the heir to the throne reach the age of adulthood. Let us raise our glass to Lady Anaya."

Your eyelids drooped gloomily. To think this scheming bitch would have the audacity to even mention the OH mother. You frowned irritatably. Something tugged at the confinement of your heart, wanting to break free. Your hold tightened on your wine glass until your knuckles turned white. "Pretentious." You spat under your breath.

You pressed your hand against your chest to calm down your racing heart.

"Are you alright MC?" Atticus whispered in your ears. His warm lips brushed against your skin, making you shiver against your will.

"Instructor!" You responded, nervously. You quickly distanced yourself from him. His eyes darkened.

Both your eyes locked and he slowly raised his wine glass to his lips. "Where you expecting someone else?" He asked after donning his drink in one gulp. His angelic light green eyes peered at you in inquiry and doubt. Atticus slowly took a step forward.

There it was again that familiar breath. This was the same feeling you felt when you met, Cadmus the first time. You licked your dry lips, to hide the panic in your eyes. "A little birdie told me today was your birthday, instructor." You blurted out, in hopes of changing the topic.

A look of shock flickered in his eyes. Your fingers curled into your palms. Is it a coincidence, that Atticus and Cadmus birthday is on the same day? Or is it that you're over thinking things?

Atticus expression closed up. "MC you're mistaken."

"Am I?" Your mouth twisted, into a fake smile. "Nevertheless instructor I brought you a gift. I hope you don't dislike it." A beautiful moon-shaped pendant dangled loosely from your fingers.

Atticus fingers trembled. The wine glass crashed to the floor. His lips were pursed into a thin line.

"Would you wear it for me instructor?"

Atticus swallowed nervously. He took a step back, clenching and unclenched his fist, sadness clouded his features. "That is not necessary."

"Instructor you have such a beautiful neck-"

Atticus ears flushed red at your compliment. You couldn't help moving towards him until you were standing toe to toe with him. Unlocking the pendant, you tipped on your toes to place it around his neck. Your fingers grazed against his neck. His hot breath enveloped your entire body, dispelling the chilled air.

"You-"

Atticus didn't even get to finish what he wanted to say. You were wrenched from his arms. Terror overtook your face when you came eye to eye, with a pair of swirling blood red eyes. "Cadmus you're here." You said calmly, with a forced smile.

Cadmus stared at you expressionlessly.

Atticus warm palms clamped down on your wrists holding you captive. Now your body was trapped between two men, who was brimming with hostility. Atticus fingers slowly caressed your wrist soothingly.

"Cadmus Glaurung. I would say it's an honour to meet you, but honestly it's not." Atticus said, with a look of insincerity.

Cadmus snickered. "Atticus Levesque. Long time no see."

The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. You felt as if you should explain yourself before this escalates. "Cadmus I-"

"Why haven't you claimed them as yet?" Atticus asked coldly. Bright flecks of gold flickered in his eyes. "I am disheartened to think you and I have known each other for eons and not once have you mentioned me."

"Let her go." Gloomy eyes, peered at Atticus. If you weren't standing in the middle of these men, Cadmus would have probably ripped Atticus throat out.

"Or what Cadmus? They belong to me, just as how they you."

Cadmus eyes flashed with indescribable anger. Leaning close, his freezing lips pressed against yours in a bruising kiss. Both your teeth knocked together. But that did not stop Cadmus. He forcefully sucked your tongue into his month. Your legs trembled and you sagged against him. You were most certainly not regretting attempting to flirt with Atticus. Your stomach tingles in anticipation. You wanted this man to toss you on top of the buffet table and claim you infront of Atticus!

Cadmus nipped at your lips with his fangs. "You're still here?" Cadmus asked lazily, with a wide bloodthirsty smile.

Atticus took a deep breath. "You need to tell them the truth. Or I fucking will."

"Remember Atticus, you were the one who clawed your way out of the abyss. I never forced you out!"

"You're a madman! Your possessiveness will lead to their demise once again! Can't you see you're doing them more harm than good......"

Cadmus laughed maniacally."Shut up! Even now you're still gullible. You make me sick." Milky white sparks of light swirled around Cadmus fingertips, with a flick of wrist his sword unsheath itself. The cold light glint off the blade, as it flew towards Atticus with unfathomable speed that could not be seen with the human eyes.

#Cadmus ask #jealousy #possessive red eye man #atticus #i couldn't help myself. As soon as Atticus approached the MC my thoughts flew out the window #i will tackle the other ask tomorrow when my mind is fresh! #This is the second time to try posting this ask #my shitty internet is acting up! #lovely anon #thank you for the ask #banquet #a brief mention of the crown Prince and Yesenia. 👀 they ain't shit. #i deserve a treat for actually typing up something that could lead to more. time to make a cup of tea! #have a good day one and all

[delphi-dreamin]

@leavesandflowers , you asked for it! So here they are!

From top to bottom, first is Moose. She's our oldest. Kait got her as an ESA in college. She's been with us since 2015. She's a grumpy old lady, but we love her.

Second is Ontario. She's my baby. Like, this cat is my child. I've had her since 2018 when she was about 6 weeks old. She was born sometime around my birthday, too. So like. She's my baby. She grounded me and got me out of my only sleep paralysis spell I've ever had, so we have a special bond.

Third is Winnie (short for Winnipeg). We found her on the side of the road like a year after we got Ontario. We really missed an opportunity with her name. We should've named her Yardstick 'cause she only has 3 feet. She's my lap cat. If I'm on the couch, she wants to be in my lap.

Fourth is Q (short for Quebec) (Do you sense a theme?) We got her because Kait texted me one day and said "Go get me a kitten." I said "Right now?" And she said yes. So I did. She's the most regal priss you've ever seen. But also she's my cuddlebug.

Fifth is Nova. Short for Nova Scotia. So named because her mom's name was Space Cadet. And Nova fit both our naming scheme AND the space theme. We just got her last April and she's...a bitch. I love her, but she tried to eat my hand last night because she likes the smell of my shampoo.

Number six is Stevie! She was named after Steve Harrington. Because Kait is obsessed. She's my good girl. Too smart for her own good and too damn heavy for me to pick up. But suuuper trainable! She also loves to go out to dispatch to play with her friends.

And last but not least is Milo! The babiest! He quite literally walked into our lives like two, three weeks ago? He's a sweet little boy and the only male mammal we've ever had in the house! As a pet...that sounds weird. Anyway, I love him.

Bonus!

Moose after being shaved today. I'm trying to give her a complex. 🤣

Bonus bonus!

Our garage cat, Cookie! This was taken at our old apartment. But she came with us to our house when we moved because I couldn't abandon her. We'd been taking care of her since we moved in.

#long post #pets #pet pics

[tsuki-sennin]

Ooooooooh, boy! It's ghoooosts! And I finally get to see Don Kaito in his...goddamn rockabilly Evel Kneivel outfit.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Yeah, Tarou is like that, huh?

-Don Murasame... who are you anyway, kid?

-Auntie Yuriko. Truly a boomer.

-Ah, Line. That's the service with all the stickers and stuff.

-10 yen.

-Hey, Haruka. Y'know how many Rangers are from that there Showa era?

-Oh. Phonebooth lore.

-Oh fucc

-New guy.

-Block that bitch Haruka, you deserve better.

-"No imagawayaki! Only battle, my companions! Wahahahaha!"

-Oh, he a ghoast.

-Oh, he a car too.

-...We had Turboranger, Carranger... Engine-ki?

-Yeah, Engine-Ki.

-Oh, poor gal.

-Haruka Jumpscare.

-How far is this phonebooth from her apartment, anyhow?

-Minako Sagiyama, A type blood, Virgo, horror fan. Gotcha.

-Be fwiend :)

-Ooooh, ghost! ...is she the Hitotsuki?

-Haruka getting no respect around here, smh

-I really like Minako's fashion, it's super nice.

-Spooky.

-Shinzo?

-Oh, that name is uh... fairly unfortunate.

-Man, what a pretty dusk shot...

-Saruhara, Tsuyoshi, you're literally fighting monsters on a regular basis, are ghosts a bit too much to believe?

-Hoo... well, nobody tell them about angels, space pirates, humanoid robots, fairies, and whatever the hell Shurikenger is then!

-"WAAAAAAAAAAH GHOST! AND MIHO-CHAN'S NOT AROUND TO GET IT OUTSIDE LIKE THE SPIDERS!"

-Ore wa Sagiyama Minako. On my 18th birthday I was killed by rampaging Ganma.

-She's so nice though!

-Ohhhh, Don Kaito, you and your nonchalance.

-Man, I guess she really likes Haruka.

-Tadokoro Shinzo, okay.

-Ooooh.

-MOMOI TAROU! Who else but the man!

-Oh. I see who it is.

-"Hi, I'm Kaito. ...I don't exactly offer ghost discounts, but you can join our rewards program."

-Shinzo San! (Three)

-Sorry lass, that doggie has a lady friend.

-Wow, she didn't mistake Shinichi or Tsuyoshi for him. ...that musta hurt.

-Shin Sonoza

-"Yeah okay

-First Love Hero! :O

-Tsuyoshi at the office. What he doin'?

-Yeah, of course you bombed with Tarou.

-Wow. Tarou's type. Must... have... strong... appetite.

-"So uh... I'm contractually obligated to ask if you like dogs."

-Oh.

-If that was how Tsubasa's identity got discovered, I'd have shat myself laughing. Inoue has some chill.

-Oh! I see how it is, this spoopy down to earth ghost girl is way more """"""normal""""" than the funny red mailman who turns into a giant robot and the wanted criminal who turned into a dog on command for a chick. Really, what a double standard.

-...oh no, Don Kaito.

-OH GOD IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I IMAGINED

-Kiito Komagine's good looks are far too much for the moms of Japan to handle.

-To be fair, he kinda fits the ideal image of a mid-late 20th century action hero. At least, from America. And aside from that, Zenkaiger is an homage to the 70s Gorengers... At least he knows his audience.

-"Well, shit... this is not very poggers at all."

-Poor Minako :(

-Tadokoro Shinzo... oh my God, that's Kazuhiko Inoue!

-He voices Kars in JoJo, and Ginis in Zyuohger. Also Red in Happiness Charge PreCure.

-Minako, Shinzo...

-Well, if you wanna make things go smoothly, maybe... talk to her about it?

-Ah, no, convoluted schemes.

-Wow, putting his voice acting skills to good use.

-Oh my god, she got ran over.

-That's brutal.

-Ikuzo! Avatar Change! It's time for another exorcism!

-Doggy

-...I wonder... does Minako recognize InuBrother in her frenzied state?

-Who else but Jirou!

-OH GODDAMMIT MURASAME

-Uh... today's a bad time, little buddy.

-Oh wow, already goin big!

-Leggy, shoulder, chest!

-:O

-Did she somehow break from the Hitotsuki?

-...or is she just projecting herself?

-Gotta wait.

-Aw... :(

-Nin Nin Alter! Fight Ninja with Ninja!

-Damn.

-:(

-Go to heaven, lass.

-Oh shit.

-Her desire has been fulfilled.

-She passes on quietly.

-No boisterous laugh from Tarou or fanfare.

-Take the booth on off.

-Oh goody, cuck boy's still here.

-...DID HE SERIOUSLY MAKE HIS MAMA MOTHER MISTAKE IN WRITING

-...oh god, is he calling her Mommy.

-...oh... I feel very unclean.

-Seriously Haruka, block his ass.

-What the fuck, Mom???

-Dragonfires!

-Ohhhh, Don Torabolt!

-I get to see you, finally!

-...it'll take a week, but that's very good!

#donbrothers spoilers #avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers #super sentai #momo monday

[eviltiddyprodnz]

The way I've been tagging whatever I wrote wrong lmao. It's season 12.

I'm skimming through the boring parts so I'll just write whatever I find amusing.

- Could this ghost lady not hide??? Like she's holding a gun as Rudra tries to open the lock. Like just hide? It's a dusty room with covers everywhere. What was her game plan? Shoot someone as the door opens 💀 How'd she escape then?

- I love how Gauri beat the shit out of fake man ghosts in Bareilly and Om beat the shit out of fake man ghosts in Mumbai-Lonawala road territory. #OTP4LYF #babeswhobeatghoststogetherstaytogether

- Omkara has the same reactions to finding out Gauri is the planmaker as he has to Rudy. 😭 Hey her plans work 4.5/5 times !

- Agent Gauri #yuh

- Violent Gauri favourite Gauri

- Um isn't that lady ghost too calm? She's like me like she just gave up under the blanket 😭 they put her in the chair and she's like I guess I'm sitting. 0 reluctance. 0 fighting back. And yet she was the one with the gun.....

- Gauri holding her down. Strongest bitch in the house.

- Omkara slapping Rudra in a light sibling manner is my favourite thing to laugh at. 😭

Carnival time 🤡🎉🎊 S12E12

- Rikara scenes make any episode worthwhile. Idk whose hair I'm more jealous of atm. Maybe Gauri's because I want my hair to fall like that too !!

'baal khule rakho, zyada sudar lagti ho'

1) the truth 2) he notices her a lot 😏 lmao who wouldn't 3) HER LINE TO HIM IN THE REDUX

carnival ke liye late ho raha hai 💀 babes voh tumhare peeche chal raha hai

MY WOMAN WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK. compliment her more jatadhari

- sasuma Tej is here y'all. yes Pinky fight!!!

- Rikara dancing with the biggest smiles 🥺🥺🥺 wait I think I literally saw Kunal try to remember a step 💀

Tag yourselves I'm Rudra just shimmying around.

- why did the evil waiter look straight into the camera and break the fourth wall??

- YES OM PULL YOUR WIFE BACK. Woah how many times does Om get slightly burnt through this show? Isn't this like the second time this season 💀

- Veer channeling his sasta IT

- thumb rule to follow through life, if you see a clown, run in the opposite direction, always.

how is he kidnapping her so slowly and obviously in broad daylight??? what was the gameplan here

skimming because I've seen all this before but how long were Rikara there for the ointment lmaooo?! yalls bhabi got kidnapped and then unconscious in her own house for like half an hour with a man rambling next to her.

If there's one thing that's always going to be true in the IB mess, it's Svetlana being hot.

Spoiler 🚨

Maybe I watched too fast because he wants Anika but he also let's go of that want super fast in the next few episodes. Then it becomes all about the FAM and the lost rights. also Tia, Svet and Soumya are sisters and he's their half brother how??? considering Roop killed their dad (from what I remember) Maybe I'm remembering wrong wait 😭 I guess they share a dad.

E13

I know we're 12 seasons in and this never changes but I need these people to believe each other in a heartbeat after all the fuckery they've been through. she says she saw fake ghost lady again? It's true!

- Gauri saying chubby ka accident bhi abhi hona tha 😭🙏 lmaooo

- they're gonna make everyone dance again oh no. AAAAH GAURI CUTEST. her lipsyncing to the line about sacrifice. my girl 😭

- yes omkar hug your wife

- how many fake wives/wives does Veer have lmao. how many plot changes does he get by episode 🤔

- shivika morning kisses, Rikara absent😭

- sasuma Tej kinda called out Gauri's name sweetly. In dadi logic, aren't Pinky and Tej takkar waale ishqbaaz. She fights with him, doesn't let him win, keeps an eye out for his nonsense and they scheme evil shit. (Pinky is 7000 times better than him though and that says something but still 💀) the first episode hoodwinked me for a few minutes into thinking he was Shivaay's dad and she was his mom.

- Gauri makes a costly mistake is true and she's too smart to fall for it but plot kab characters ke saath match kara hai jo aaj karega.

- Om side eyeing Tia. (Also again considering how they forgive her again in the future plots, their heat truly is reserved for their partners because, although I love Tia too so who am I to judge them)

-Defend your wife Om! Sad that it's always a set up for something much worse 😭💔

Tia looking in the camera too, what is with y'all making eye contact with me!?!

#ishqbaaz #rikara #tia #tia please get out of this mess #S12 #watching oberois get messed with is so boring its giving dal chawal #now im hungry