#the listing doesn’t say anything about the weird thing but it does describe them as black which IS DEBATABLE

[girlbossnezuko]

Stobin Mandalorian AU part 1

(aka s3 stobin accidentally acquire a magic baby)

[part 2] [part 3]

It’s Robin that first hears the baby crying. She insists it’s coming from the vents on her right side — Steve’s left — but the concussion’s left everything kind of soupy so it takes him a few minutes to pick it out from the ever-present hum of the gate-laser and the rush of blood through his own ears. Once he notices it though, it’s hard to stop.

It’s a sad, lonely sort of crying that makes his heart ache. Robin makes a dubious sort of noise when he mentions this and insists that it’s probably just hungry — which Steve has to admit is likely, none of the Russians they’ve met so far can really be described as ‘nurturing’ — but something in his gut tells him that’s not it.

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything before the Russians come back with the doctor, and then they have a whole new set of problems to worry about.

The mysterious blue goop makes everything a million times soupier and having pliers around his fingernail is not great, but then Dustin and Erica are there and everything’s great again. Super great, even.

“Can you two hurry up?” Dustin hisses, pulling Steve upright when he starts to list to the side.

It’s a little difficult to navigate when your head is soup and your bones are blue and goopy and you’re bleeding from at least three places you weren’t bleeding from this morning, and Steve makes a valiant attempt to tell Dustin this because it’s important information he needs to know. He starts, then stops because he can barely hear himself over the siren and honestly this is just like earlier when he was trying to hear the— oh right.

“Baby,” Steve says, and Robin whips her head around in slow motion to stare at the vent.

“Did you just call me a baby?” Dustin demands, shoving them into the hallway.

“Nooo, no, no,” Steve insists. He takes two steps in the direction Dustin is going, then checks to see where the vent leads. It’s going in the other direction. He turns around. “Baby. The baby. Gotta get the baby.”

“It’s hungry,” Robin says decisively, even though Steve’s almost positive that’s not the problem.

“I don’t know why these two idiots are so focused on it but I did hear a baby,” Erica says, and Dustin groans.

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“I didn’t think I was the only one around here with working ears,” she says scathingly. “Clearly I was wrong.”

Steve and Robin are already halfway down the hall. Robin stops, cocking her head like a bird, and gasps.

“I hear it! This way!”

She books it around a corner, and she might be only going half as fast as she usually does but she’s still a lot faster than Steve. He stumbles after her, clutching at the weird tubes on the wall for support.

“Get back here!” Dustin hisses, tugging at Steve’s arm. “We have to go!”

“Steve!” Robin shouts at the top of her lungs. “I found the baby!”

Steve manages to drag both himself and Dustin around the corner and into a small room with a metal door. Clearly he needs to start making Dustin exercise because he should not be weaker than Steve is when his bones are soup. Dustin should have solid bones — he drinks a lot of milk, and it’s like, scientifically proven that milk makes your bones stronger. It’s that vitamin — or is it a mineral? Ca— Cancer? No, wrong one. Ca-something. Robin would know.

Anyway Dustin has strong bones so obviously it’s a muscle thing that’s the reason why his arms are really weak and Steve should make him play basketball about it.

Robin’s holding a baby.

“Put that down,” Dustin insists, letting go of Steve to gesture at Robin. She pouts and cuddles the baby closer.

It’s such a cute, perfect baby too. Steve stumbles closer so he can look at the perfect baby. It has soft wisps of brown hair and squishy pink cheeks, and when Robin smooths a thumb over those squishy baby cheeks it stops crying and opens its big brown eyes.

“Steve,” Robin says, staring at him with her own wide eyes, “it’s a girl baby.”

“She’s perfect,” Steve whispers, and he wants to hold her so so bad but he can’t even hold himself up right now and the only thing worse than not holding her is dropping her so he has to leave her with Robin even though it kind of makes him want to cry.

He’s always wanted a baby.

“Okay,” he turns back to Dustin, who’s looking very stressed. “Now we can go.”

“What do you mean ‘now we can go’?”

“We have the baby, let’s go!”

“We can’t just steal a baby!”

“Yes we can,” Robin says, and starts walking out the door. “See? We’re stealing her. Easy peasy.”

“But—!”

“Let’s go, nerd!” Erica says, shoving them all out of the room. “Cry about it later, we need to leave!”

Steve stops to grab a few baby things, though there isn’t much. A white blanket, a few cloth diapers, and a thick stack of folders — the last of which aren’t baby things, but he assumes they’ll be important anyway. The stitching on the corner of the blanket reads ‘Два’, the same as the label on her metal crib.

“Aba,” he mutters, following them to the weird red car. “Like the band?”

Well, it’s probably a beautiful name for a baby girl. In Russian.

[part 2]

#I’ve literally been thinking abt this fic concept for months #stobin with a baby is taking up some serious real estate in my brain rn #and hopefully now in yours!!! you’re so welcome (I’m so sorry) #stobin mandalorian au #<— dedicated tag for this series (for whenever I continue) #I might post this on ao3 once I have enough written but for now it’s going here #as a sort of palate cleanser to get my mojo back for dear cassandra (hopefully) #and!! ascu part 3 (featuring our favourite dead cheerleader chrissy cunningham!) #the greatest qpr hawkins has ever seen #<— stobin tag #envy writes #stranger things #stranger things fic #stobin fanfic #stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley

[eelfuneral]

I know I seem to be writing a lot about my issues with certain aspects of how the Jedi were written lately, but I will say that I do like them over all—especially when we look at individual Jedi characters. What has been prompting my flurry of dissection of the less than nice aspects of the Jedi as an organization has been seeing a number of really uncomfortable arguments in their favor. I’m going to elaborate on this, but I’m putting it below a cut and tagging it as “jedi critical” so you can avoid it if it’s not your thing. So here is a list of fandom Jedi takes that I don’t love:

1. The insistence that the Jedi having a repressive view of emotions is nothing more than a fanon myth. Star Wars canon isn’t terribly consistent: it has a number of different writers and George Lucas is famously indecisive about his beliefs regarding canon. As a result, you have a hodgepodge of differing portrayals of Jedi, but the one that people are most familiar with is the one from the sequel and prequel trilogies. While it can be argued that the Jedi are more about controlling how you react to your emotions and avoiding harming people, especially if you look beyond the films and at other canon material, the first six films don’t do a great job of portraying the Jedi in that way. When Yoda himself has multiple lines about how certain emotions (not reactions to them, but emotions by themselves) are of the Dark Side, can you really blame people for coming to this conclusion? The same goes for the idea that they don’t *really* forbid romantic love. When you have a whole subplot involving a prominent Jedi Knight having to hide a romantic relationship or face expulsion from the Order for having a romantic relationship in any capacity, then this argument doesn’t hold a lot of water. A rule stating that “romantic partner = automatic expulsion” does not line up with the idea that Jedi only ban possessive love.

2. Having any sympathy for Anakin Skywalker means you think that he’s never done anything wrong ever. I acknowledge that rabid Anakin stans who bash every other character to prop him up are very much a thing, but I don’t believe that we need to shut down every discussion of Anakin that doesn’t paint him as an ungrateful brat who needed to stop having so many damned emotions. Anakin was intentionally written as a sympathetic antihero and later a sympathetic villain. People picking up on the sadder elements of his life and the times where he maybe didn’t get everything he needed from the Jedi Order are sniffing out intentionally placed story nuggets that are designed to make his betrayal of everyone he loved in ROTS that much harder to watch. Also, acknowledging that the Order may not have been a great fit for Anakin isn’t the same as saying that it was somehow abusive or evil. No organization, real or fictional, can meet the needs of every single person. Anakin was certainly loved and cared about in the Jedi Order, but his personality and trauma arguably made him incompatible with their lifestyle.

3. The weird vitriol at the idea of Gray Jedi. Gray Jedi were very much a thing in the legends continuity and have been a fanon staple for literal decades. A lot of people aren’t fond of this concept, because they feel that it misrepresents how the force works, particularly in current canon. That’s perfectly fine, but acting like this type of Jedi was never, ever a part of canon is silly. Insisting that it’s a cardinal sin to depict a Gray Jedi in fanworks, which exist specifically to be a free-for-all that may not be canon compliant, is just mean. You didn’t have to like every fanwork or concept, but you cannot control what other people create for fun.

4. Outright denial that the clones are enslaved by the Republic. Clones are described as “property” and “equipment”. The Republic BUYS them. They do not have a choice but to go to war and don’t seem to be paid much, if at all. When a group of people are owned, bought, and sold, they are slaves by definition. I understand that the Jedi were dealt a bad hand and weren’t in a great position to do much about the situation, but I and a lot of other people would have loved to see more instances of Jedi advocating for clone citizenship and freedom. People noticing that the Jedi could have done more for the clones are not stating that they think the Jedi were 100% okay with the situation, and it is entirely possible to acknowledge the deep Jedi/clone friendships that we see in canon while acknowledging what the Republic was doing to the clones. Justifications of the clones’ enslavement mentioning that they liked being soldiers (they didn’t know anything different) or were treated well by the Jedi (Pong Krell existed, and they were still owned by the Republic) make me very uneasy. If your defense of your blorbos reads like Neo-Confederate chattel slavery apologia retrofitted to be about pretend space people, then maybe it’s time to do a little bit of self-reflection.

5. Ableism. When you throw takes like “if the Jedi philosophy regarding emotions is so hard for you, then you are a baby or a sociopath” into the tumblrsphere, they are always going to fall and hit people with disabilities that cause emotional regulation issues. The line between stating that people should not use emotions as an excuse to harm others and outright attacking people for having intense emotions in general is one that I have seen crossed, shat on, and lit on fire in defense of the Jedi.

6. Equating criticism of the Jedi to real-wold prejudice. Saying that criticizing the Jedi is the same as being antisemitic or homophobic is uncalled for. Queer and Jewish people exist in the real world, and pretend space wizards do not. Comparisons like this are insulting because they put real-world prejudice and fandom wank over space wizards on the same level. Do better.

#jedi critical #okay #really this is more fandom critical #fandom wank

[kaeyas-beloved]

Voicelines: Kaeya’s Birthday

Characters: Jean, Lisa, Klee, Diluc, (Y/N), Kaeya

Summary: Some people have some things to say in regards to today…

Genre: Fluff/Mild-Angst + Snippets

CW: romantic Kaeya x gn!reader & platonic for everyone else, not proofread

a/n: I uh wanted to try doing voicelines and what better opportunity than doing it for Kaeya’s birthday (yes I’m late but shhhhh)! Happy Birthday Kaeya <333

Jean

“Even though today is his birthday, Kaeya refuses to stop working. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s dedicated or simply forgot the date. Regardless, he should take the day off and enjoy himself.”

Lisa

“Kaeya doesn’t really celebrate his birthday. The most he’s ever done was drink himself silly and hardly anyone can consider that celebrating. Still, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it. Oh? You’re curious? Try asking (Y/N), cutie, they may know.”

Klee

“Today is Kaeya’s birthday! Klee heard that Amber is planning a surprise party for him later. Will you come too? There’ll be loads of yummy food and drinks. Oh and cake too! Klee hopes she made a good gift for Kaeya…”

Diluc

“It’s been a long time since either of us celebrated. Times were… simpler back then. Every year though Kaeya never fails to ask if he could get a drink on the house. Of course, I say no.

The staff at the winery miss him too and keep asking me to invite him over. Even if I wanted to, Kaeya always finds a way around it. So there’s no one to blame but him on that front. Must he make everything so difficult for me though?

*sigh* I digress. Traveller, one last thing. Could you deliver this bottle for me? I have no doubt you know who the receiver is.”

(Y/N)

"This year, I hope to make it the best for my lover. If you couldn’t tell, Kaeya gets… weird about his birthday. Yes, weirder than normal. Do I know why? I do, but it’s not my story to tell Traveller.

On top of the party, I have many presents for him for when we get home. Some material, others not so much. I’ve always had trouble picking out gifts, but it’s even worse when it comes to Kaeya. Still, it was fun. I’m smiling? I can’t help it, not when it comes to him and what he does to my heart.

...Do you think he’ll like this? It’s a feather earring. Did you know that Kaeya's vision isn't like the others? It's missing a set of feathers - the feathers required to fly.

...I want to give him his freedom. Even if it's only a little. Even if it's only for a day. He deserves that and so much more.

Kaeya

“When were you going to tell me about the party? Haha, I’m kidding. How did I know? Let’s just say I’m not a captain for nothing. Don’t worry, I'll act surprised when the time comes.

This is the first year (Y/N) will celebrate with me as my significant other. I’m truly blessed to have them in my life.

…Weird? Who told you that? (Y/N)? Oh, I see. I do tend to forget or celebrate in untraditional ways, there’s no denying that now that it’s out of the bag, but I wouldn’t go as far as weird to describe it. You think so too? I’m wounded.

(Paimon: “Uh! I don’t see why (Y/N) decided to get you anything. How do they deal with you!?”)

Wait. They got me something?

…

I can’t wait to see it. :)

Very important addition: Kaeya is teary eyed and smiling softly when he hears you got him a gift <3

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @stage-lucida

…

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

#kaeya x reader #kaeya x gender neutral reader #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin voicelines

[image-thot]

Would a request for PLATONIC! Yandere! Bad Batch headcannons with a preferably teenage reader be acceptable?

Ok gonna be honest when I saw your request one thing came to my mind " Two of those works don't belong that close together." But never one to back away from a challenge I shall do my best 👍 Also sorry it took so long with this one had some stuff come up in rl that stopped me from writing for a bit.

Warning ⚠️  It's been ages since I was a teen so my depiction of one may be off 😅 

Overall 

• They all see you in a similar way to Omega however as you are older than her, they know a lot more risks and have a harder time keeping you close/dependent on them.

• They'd prefer that you stay on the ship during missions, especially if one of them can stay behind and watch you.

• If they can't be prepared for what can only be described as being grounded to hell and back. Starting with Tech locking down the ship, no one is getting in or out of that thing. Echo has hidden away any of the dangerous items and Wrecker has put out some fun but safe things for you to do after you finish the list of chores Hunter has left for you.

• It's not all bad however, after a while they did think it best to use you as the emergency pick-up driver. Tech taught you how to fly and operate the ship under emergency scenarios, yes Hunter was present during those and yes he almost had a heart attack.

• Sometimes their styles do clash when it comes to how they want to treat and spend time with you, for example, Hunter is a lot very blunt when than Echo is when it comes to protecting you (think of Hunter as the Overprotective father and Echo as the kind but Overprotective Mother).

• Omega and Wrecker are the only two that don't but-heads over their needs for you, they are both clingy but they were like that before you joined them so they are used to being around one another that it would feel weird if either one of them wasn't there with you as well.

• Crosshair often gets into arguments with Echo and Hunter usually over something Crosshair wants to do with you, for example, Crosshair doesn't mind taking you on missions with him. He's often perched away from the fights and wants you to watch him work, maybe even show you a trick or two. Hunter and Echo strongly disagree with this and have had some physical altercations over it.

Hunter

Type: Overprotective 

Hunter can't be classed as anything but overprotective when it comes to you.

He wants to keep you safe and will do everything in his power to do so.

Which makes him the worst in the group.

 Why you may ask, well those keen senses of his. He can tell the moment something changes with you, then he's on you faster than you can say oh no. It can be literally anything as well, he knows what's normal for you and what's not. So even the smallest change in your vitals, behaviour, hormones and scent and it’s all 21 and counting questions.

If you happen to be a girl... Yeah if you've already had your first visit from aunt flow, you’re in for a real treat. Of course, he knows what it is but it takes a two-hour talk with both you and Tech to assure him that the process is completely normal. Still doesn't stop him from going into red alert (pun intended) every time it happens.

He does, however, respect your privacy, if you ask him to leave you alone for a bit or deny him access to your room he respects it. It doesn’t mean that he won't be listening in on you in other ways or that he won't bust down the door if he feels you're in danger.

Echo

Type: Overprotective 

Like Hunter, Echo is very protective of you in a mother goose sorta way.

He’s a lot more gentle about it than Hunter is, to you at least. To everyone else well I didn’t say goes for no reason.

He’ll often explain why he does/suggests something when it comes to keeping you safe and with them. For example, with a mission, he doesn’t stop at “It’s too dangerous” but goes on to say why specifically that mission poses a risk to you "It's too dangerous because it involves x which you haven't trained for that" etc.

He'd come off a lot more reasonable and a better listener than everyone else.

He's reasonable yes unless it involves current/former Separatists.

If there happens to be a mission that brings them into contact with them be prepared for him to not let you out of his sight and to go full lockdown mode. 

To be fair he has a valid reason after what they did to him he doesn't want it happening to you, he just gets a little too carried away with that.

Tech

Type: Manipulative 

He'll manipulate you with facts (I could just stop there but he's me boy so).

To put it simply anything that you think/want to do that would in his opinion be bad for you, he somehow has a fact that proves it's wrong. Even if the information is slightly skewed.

It's not like he's completely making up data, he's simply not revealing the entirety of it. Honestly, you'd think it would bother him but when he first started to use facts to persuade you they were all very much true. The only problem was that after a while he was running out of relatable factoids to use.

Like the rest of the squad, he is protective of you, in his own unique way. Yes, he would 100% get into a fight if needed for you but he also prides himself on preventing that from happening in the first place.

It works 99.9% of the time, mainly due to how persistent he is about it. It's easier just to do what he suggests rather than argue against him, it won't take you long to learn that. If you do manage to outlast him be prepared to face smug and sarcastic Tech. Don't get him wrong he's still going to fix it but not before/after he makes you feel bad first.

Honestly, he doesn't change too much, he seems a lot more interested in your health and well-being than his brothers. But aside from that to anyone else he could appear to be his normal self.

Wrecker

Type: Clingy 

Literally wants to be around you 24/7

He's the big bro that may be 1000% too Overprotective but will at least attempt to make up for it with tons of fun

He is the first one to go with you for after-mission snacks or to go out for a little bit of RnR. He's also the first one who's going to start a fistfight in the name of your honour or minor inconvenience 

He can be a bit impulsive and forget that he is way bigger and stronger than you, often leading you to either be dragged along with him or being crushed by his inhuman strength.

He tries not to use his impressive strength to do you any harm and he will try to avoid using it to get you to do what he wants, but at the end of the day, he isn't going to totally cut that option off.

Crosshair

Type: Stalker/Possessive 

Crosshair is the group's cat you could say. He loves your attention and company but at the same time also likes to have his space.

It often leads him to be caught between wanting you to hang out with only him and him wanting to be left the hell alone.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to keep an eye on you when he does have some solo time, he will watch you like the hawk that he is.

So expect if Hunter doesn’t know something about you then Crosshair certainly will know it.

He wants to teach you how to shoot properly, unfortunately, that is a no from both Hunter and Echo. It also doesn’t help that he is the world's worst teacher, despite being observant he forgets others aren’t always as quick learners as him.

He has numerous amounts of times suggested that you be assigned to him during missions, after all, he is often up and out of harm's way. 

He can be borderline clingy in public, but that’s mainly his strong dislike of regs with the small (very large) fear that you will be taken away from the group. 

(sorry that some of these are way off my norm, my brain was having a lot of trouble writing this.)

#the bad batch x reader #platonic #writing requests #yandere headcanons #bad batch headcanons

[arielmagicesi]

ok finished CBS Ghosts because again, I have nothing else to do for a few more days... Definitely grew attached to the characters. I’m less annoyed that Trevor is Jewish now that they’ve hardcore leaned into it so it’s not, like, he’s just an evil money-loving man that happens to say oy gevalt, he’s just a douchey frat bro with a surprising heart of gold who’s confirmed Jewish, which is whatever who cares. also I continue to have mixed feelings on Christmas Episodes- they’re usually the ones where we get to see the main crew in shows bond and have sweet loving friendship moments, which I love, but it’s also always in service of teaching everyone that Loving Christmas Is Equivalent To Morality, which is super weird, especially in the context of a several-thousand-year-old caveman who initially found Christmas to be a “new fad” saying that it might stick around (very “well, the other fads didn’t have Jesus Christ on their side” energy), or a Viking who was initially mad that Christmas appropriated his culture deciding that he “learned his lesson” that it’s about friendship instead? Again, I love Robin and Thor learning to soften a bit and accept the love of their found families, but what does that have to do with Christmas? (you can say the same for Abed Nadir or Leslie Knope or Frasier Crane, the list goes on) ANYWAY sorry for my annoying rants which I’m sure someone will come educate me on how it’s problematic of me to be Jewish or whatever, sorry, it’s not really specific to this show, I’m just PMSing which gives me a tendency to ramble on about unrelated things.

But re: the show itself I think CBS Ghosts is very cute and charming and heartwarming, and it’s fun to see them explore stuff that BBC Ghosts doesn’t. Like, it feels like fanfic in the sense that it’s self-indulgent, but instead of being self-indulgent with the specific details like regular fanfic, it’s self-indulgent about plot stuff, which I love. It’s like “fuck it, let’s have the ghosts be able to possess people. Fuck it, let’s have ghost romances and ghost romantic drama. Fuck it, let’s have Sam run into ghosts of people who are relevant to her life and the past lives of her ghost friends” which would not work with the more carefully crafted worldbuilding in the BBC version and would kind of feel like it was cheapening it, like “oh really, now the ghosts can just do anything? so all those emotional moments feel sort of unearned” but in the CBS version it’s already MUCH more lighthearted (again, I know they’re both comedies, but the BBC one is a little more... grounded? Well-written? Idk how to describe it) so it’s like, why not explore wacky Ghostbusters-level antics? It’s like the Three’s Company to the BBC version’s, idk, Parks and Rec. They’re both silly sitcoms but a Three’s Company plotline would feel out of place in Pawnee. Again, I am prone to rambling. But the point is that both shows are fun, even though I do like the BBC version better. It is weird that they currently have the same number of episodes released due to American seasons being way longer lol.

Also I thought it was fun how both Curtis and Cary from The Other Two AND Derek from Shadows show up in it

#bbc ghosts #cbs ghosts #written by me

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

This post has been ages in the making. It was supposed to be a list of new comedy hours that I’ve seen/heard “in the last week or so”, but actually it’s been about two weeks since I started writing it and then had a weird sort of writer’s block where I was too physically and mentally tired from work (and also maybe rather sad about real life but it’s fine) to want to write anything. But anyway, here’s the post. Some comedy shows that I saw/heard a while and had things I wanted to say about them, just didn’t get around to it until now.

Olga Koch – If/Then (2019), Homecoming (2021), Just Friends (2022)

I heard Olga Koch’s 2023 show Prawn Cocktail recently, and liked it so much that I found the other ones she’s released. I think this is just about all the ones she’s done, since her 2018 show (which hasn’t been released) was nominated for a Newcomer Award, and no one did anything in 2020.

I really liked these. I think If/Then is my favourite of the three, though I don’t know if that equates to it being objectively the best one, the structure just really appealed to me. Talking about her computer science degree and seeing the world in terms of programming. There may have been a couple of times when the connection felt slightly strained, but I liked it anyway and mainly it worked. The actual stories are largely around gendered expectations, and how women get misogynistically praised for being “not like the other girls” if they defy gendered expectations, and obviously that resonated. There was some stuff about her grandmother that I really liked too.

Homecoming is largely about getting a British citizenship (she’s from Russia, grew up going to American schools in Britain so that’s why her accent is like that, she also discussed the weird position of being from so many different places), how she can dissect British culture as an outsider, her perspectives on immigration. Also quite a few stories about sex. There’s a lot of that all across the shows, and I enjoy it more than I usually enjoy stories about sex in comedy shows. Which is a bit, if told well.

Just Friends is mainly (spoiler alert, I guess) about how she met her boyfriend, and my least favourite of the three, mainly because it takes a lot for me to really love a show about how someone met their boyfriend or girlfriend. That was still good, though. Lots of funny stories, the throughline hardly took up the whole thing and was still fun. It had this theme of describing “ho culture”, which didn’t make a huge amount of sense to me but I think wasn’t really for me, and might make more sense to people who are not me.

Across all three, I really liked the way she put them together, embedding the themes at least two layers deeper than I would say the average show does. Also, all of them were just really funny. Like I said about Prawn Cocktail – it made me glad to know I can consider a stand-up show great even if it doesn’t have an incredibly Important Message involved (although there definitely were some Important Messages scattered across these other shows, and I appreciated those as well, also there was definitely some interesting messaging in Prawn Cocktail about the nature of curated “content” and its relationship to reality, so I’m not sure why I said it doesn’t have a message either). The individual stories are fucking funny, almost every time. They can make me laugh when I do relate to them, but they can make me laugh just as hard when I don’t (as in most cases, I’d say, Olga Koch and I have lived very different lives, aside from the unlearning of the misogyny around Not Like The Other Girls), which I think is even more impressive and probably a sign of genuine comedic talent, however that can be distilled. If you can get people to laugh because you said something undeniable funny, not just from recognition.

Her performance style is really engaging. She always seems hyper-aware of how she’s coming across, physically and vocally and within the context of all her complicated identities and relationship to the crowd, and she’s constantly stopping to examine that. I think that, along with the way she goes back and forth among topics and points, makes it hard to get distracted or bored when listening to her.

Urooj Ashfaq – Oh No! (2023)

This won the Best Newcomer award in Edinburgh this year, so I’m glad I got to hear both it and Ahir Shah's show, completing the collection of winners. I liked this one quite a bit. It wasn’t flawless, as people’s first shows usually aren’t. But it was good. The parts that were good, I thought, were really good. There were some really original in there (or so I thought – one of those ideas did turn out to also be in Olga Koch’s Homecoming show, but I think it’s very unlikely that there was intentional copying, just weird that in the same week I heard two people come up with the same idea).

Urooj actually lives in India, which gives her quite a different perspective from most comedians I hear. She’s one of only three comedians I’ve heard who live there, along with Anuvab Pal and Aditti Mittal. So she immediately gets a few extra points for doing it in her second language. She also seemed quite affected by suddenly being thrust into the limelight, in an unfamiliar country, for winning an award. Given all that, she did very well.

A couple of parts of her show required some explanation, because of cultural differences. Some reminded me of Aditti Mittal’s show in that way, having to explain to a Western audience that these things we’d consider normal actually are edgy comedy where they come from, talking about blasphemy or divorce. It’s really interesting, aside from everything else, to try to see what comedy is like in completely different contexts from what I’m used to. And the context affected most of the show, even the parts that weren’t specifically about culture. Because of course it did – everyone’s culture affects every story about their life.

Anyway, I think this show probably deserved the award it got. It’s my favourite out of all the Edinburgh debut hours I heard from this year: Alexandra Haddow, Tadiwa Mahlunge, Bronwyn Sweeney, Dan Tiernan, Mamoun Elagab, Paddy Young, and Lorna Rose Treen. Lorna Rose Treen’s show might have been better to people who like that sort of thing better, comparing sketch/character comedy to “stand there with a mic and tell stories of my life” comedy is apples to oranges. But I tend to prefer the latter.

Anyway, I hope she ends up recording more English-language comedy, and I’m quite curious to see what she does next.

Joe Wells – I Am Autistic (2023)

I didn’t realize until I started watching this show that I’d seen a clip of it before. It’s this clip that went viral a while ago, which came up in my YouTube recommendations and I think I’ve even seen it shared on Facebook. A guy saying he has autism and his brother doesn’t, and then explains all the ways his brother can live an acceptable life with the right supports despite not being autistic. He’s not the first person I’ve ever heard make a joke along those lines, but I think he did it very well.

I watched this show because it was advertised as Go Faster Stripe thing that was put up for free on YouTube, so I figured it was worth checking out. Didn’t realize until after it started that it was that guy from that clip, but this did very much back up my belief that it’s always worth seeing a full-length thing rather than just a clip. The clip was funny, the full show is much better.

He talks in the show about that clip going viral, and how weird that is, and what the reality behind it is. I enjoyed that, as a person who is strongly against the reductive nature of people consuming things in clip form instead of doing it properly (although, to be fair, until I recently I had only seen the clip of this show). I enjoyed this quite a bit. It also wasn’t flawless, I thought some parts were better than others. There was a whole thing about how weird it is that we don’t answer the question “how are you?” honestly, which I think is now about five years past the point at which we could say comedians had fully covered every angle on that one and it could be put to bed. But much of the show felt fresh and funny.

Oh, to balance out the fact that I’ve now accused him a couple of times of being unoriginal, I should say that in one part, he made the point that people are wrong when they think social media is bad for mental health because we see other people living better lives than us and get depressed about it. That’s not a problem, he says, but social media is bad for mental health because we see other people posting racist shit and get depressed about how many racists we know. This wasn’t a particularly funny thing to say, it just a really good point, that I have said multiple times in the last few years but have weirdly not heard anyone else say, so I liked hearing that reflected. Thank you, Joe Wells, for validating my beliefs. Because what do we listen to comedy for if not validating our beliefs? Facebook does not depress me because I see pictures of my friends with kids and wish I had a kid. That’s one of the few upsides, if I’m tired from work and feeling burned out, I can remember that some people have to do all that and then go home, where the responsibilities and the requirement to be around people is only just getting started. While I can cast off the responsibilities and requirement to be around people, and sit in bed playing Pokemon and eating eggs. Their kids do not depress me. What depresses me is realizing how many racists I know.

Actually, as I write this I’ve just remembered I have heard that point made once before. It still counts as Joe Wells being quite original, if I’ve only heard two comedians talk about something then that’s a small number. But Fern Brady said something similar in her Love and Chaos show. I guess it’s an autistic opinion. (That’s not actually true, lots of autistic people are also racist.)

Anyway, it was a funny show. Obviously a lot of it was, in fact, about being autistic. I’ve already heard a whole lot of the jokes about autism that can be made, given that I hang out a lot on the autism website. Despite that, he managed to make a bunch that I hadn’t heard before, so that’s impressive. I recommend it to the many people on this autism website who want to hear more jokes about autism. And like I said, it's free on YouTube:

Finlay Christie – OK Zoomer (2022)

This is one that I forced myself to watch with as open a mind as possible, because I’m trying to be less of a judgmental dick about gen Z comedians. I’ve seen Finlay Christe once before, when he did Dictionary Corner in an episode of Catsdown last year, and I believe my only comment on it was “Why was there a small child in Dictionary Corner?”

I also know that this particular gen Z comedian has been working on it for a long time. Because last year, when I was looking at all those pictures from that one Flickr account that’s been posting pictures from comedy gigs since about 2006, I saw some pictures from some Comedy For Kids event from years ago, and the picture of one kid was labeled Finlay. Which I figured must be the same guy, since the face looked similar, and it’s not a common name. He confirmed in the OK Zoomer show that it was, told some stories about his time as a child comedian (a literal small child, in this case) doing Comedy For Kids nights, and even showed some footage of one. This footage had James Acaster introducing him, which he described as embarrassing, because James Acaster was his comedy hero, he’d grown up looking up to James Acaster as an older really successful comedian so he hates that James saw the dumb shit he did as a kid. James Acaster. He was a big fan of James Acaster when he was a young kid. I guess I can’t resent Finlay Christie for being young enough to have been a fan of James Acaster when he was a kid, the passage of time isn’t really his fault. But come on. You can’t be allowed to be that young.

That instinctive way of thinking is the sort of thing I was trying to stop about myself, as I decided to watch this comedy special and give the youths a proper chance (well, one youth). And… a bunch of it was pretty funny. Not all of it. But he had some good jokes. Just, straightforwardly, said something that had clearly been written and edited beforehand until it was quite funny. Which is the sort of thing that I stereotypically don’t expect from gen Z comedians, right? I sort of think of them as all Tik-Tok stars who do dancing or crowd work instead of writing material. Well, this guy wrote material. I’d say that solidly more than half of it was quite good.

He didn’t write a lot of it, I noticed. It ran quite short for a full show that he took to Edinburgh in 2022; the recording I watched on YouTube was only 38 minutes. And that’s padded out with a few of those videos and things like that. I looked at the comments, interested to see the takes of the other youths on this youth, and saw a couple of youths say they normally only watch clips and don’t have the attention span for long-form comedy like this but he was so funny that they were willing to watch this long video, which made me briefly despair due to my above-mentioned hatred of our culture’s move toward consuming everything through stripped-of-context clips, but anyway, it’s fine.

To be honest, the part of his identify against which I ended up having the most trouble overcoming my bias wasn’t his age, but his class. Specifically, he dedicated a chunk of the show to sort of bragging about being posh. I say “sort of” because I guess it was meant to be “banter”, making jokes about how his “team” in life – as someone privately educated – is better than the other “team”, people who went to state school. But it doesn’t seem like a great position to take, really.

I obviously don’t hate all privately educated people, some of my favourite comedians are privately educated people. I was about to say I don’t hate them in real life either, but actually they’re barely a factor in real life, I think I’ve only ever met two privately educated people in person. I think private schools are less common here than in Britain, because on British TV they keep making jokes about how private school is for the privileged middle class and state schools are for poor kids. But I grew up solidly middle class, and yet don’t know anyone who paid for school before university. Well, almost anyone. I knew a couple of people, and everyone knew them as the wildly, ridiculously rich kids, so ridiculously rich that they lived in mansions and went to a private school. I can’t tell if private schools are more common in the UK, or if most comedians just grew up so rich that to them, anyone who didn’t live in a mansion was a poor kid, and that’s where the “state school is for poor kids” jokes come from.

Anyway, like I said, I like lots of privately educated comedians. Some never mention it (you wouldn’t know it about Alex Horne, would you?). Some are self-deprecating about it (Ivo Graham). Some use their experiences to write more informed material that criticizes the way the private school system perpetuates class structures (okay, I only know one comedian who does this, and it’s Andy Zaltzman). But not many privately educated comedians choose to brag about their status in their comedy act, even as a joke. Finlay was joking when he bragged about it. But still, it was fairly off-putting.

So it was a mixed bag, that show. He had some quite funny jokes about college and living in a generation that knows it’s doomed and sliding into DMs. He had some weird bits where he made fun of state school kids, which made it quite impossible to find him endearing. He then played some footage of himself as a child getting introduced by James Acaster and then making a dorky joke, which of course was very endearing. He said a few interesting things that dissected how comedy worked. I tried not to be a judgmental dick. It was interesting to watch, anyway.

Other gen Z comedian Leo Reich has a special coming out soon, I've heard a few things by him that I quite like so I will watch that. So see, I'm giving the youths a shot. Leo Reich actually featured fairly significantly in the Olga Koch show Just Friends, that I recently watched. He featured as (spoiler alert, genuinely, for the end of that show) the guy who helped her meet her boyfriend, that boyfriend being Sam Williams, a third gen Z comedian that I have now heard of, and Finlay Christie thanks Sam Williams for doing tour support at the end of OK Zoomer. So there, small world and I am plenty informed about the world of gen Z comedians. At least, about the ones who've hung out with Olga Koch.

Harriet Kemsley – Woman Child (2022)

This is another special that was recently released for free on YouTube. I watched it because I find Harriet Kemsley breathtakingly hilarious on panel shows. However, some comedians are funny on panel shows in a way that make me think I bet their stand-up’s funny. Harriet Kemsley, however, is funny that’s so specific to panel show formats (her way of interacting with others, and her odd takes on rules and format points), that I wasn’t so sure if she’d be as funny alone on stage with just a microphone. But I wanted to find out.

For the first little while, I have to admit, I thought I’d made a bit of a mistake with this special. It was about her husband (Bobby Mair, a comedian who’s also fairly funny on panel shows, he’s got a special on NextUp that I should probably check out at some point) and her marriage, and it was so slow and boring. Sometimes, I hear comedians do material about marriage and/or parenting, and I think I’m not enjoying this, but it’s not aimed at me, this sort of humour works because it’s relatable, so probably someone who is married and/or a parent would like it. But in this case, I was sort of thinking – I’m not sure this is interesting even to its target audience. I’ve heard jokes like all of this before.

But once she got past the first little bit, it got better and pretty much stayed on that upward trajectory, with maybe a few stumbles along the way. But the end, I felt like I’d just seen a really enjoyable stand-up special, even if it wasn’t perfect. This is despite the fact that she did come back to the not-my-favourite topic by telling stories of her pregnancy and then of parenthood, but I actually still enjoyed those.

A lot of the show ended up being about gendered expectations, how society views women, how this affects the way she parents a daughter. And that’s a type of parenting story that I can find interesting. I guess I’m more the target audience for that – I’m not a wife or a mother, but I am a woman, so I can relate to gender material more than to marriage/parenthood material.

However, a lot of it was still not particularly relatable to me. This was something that occurred to me while I listened to Olga Koch as well. It’s something I’ve thought of before, when listening to various female comedians who are particularly feminine (I think I first noticed it when I watched Katherine Ryan’s Netflix specials a couple of years ago). I can hear a male comedian tell a story about being a teenage boy, and even if there are some bits that I can’t relate to because they were specifically gendered, I can put myself in his shoes and find the humour in it anyway. While if I hear a feminine female comedian tell a story about having been a feminine teenage girl, I struggle to do the same. Something feels uncomfortable as I try to do that, I think because they so often tell this story as “this is what being a teenage girl was like, we all remember it, right, girls? We all remember trying to put on makeup and impress boys and wear nice clothes?”

And not only did I not do those things, but a lot of my teenage memories involve feeling uncomfortable under the expectations that I should be doing those things, getting in huge fights with my mother because I wouldn’t be enough of a girl, getting negatively judged by girls who did do those things right because I didn’t. Not all of my memories, of course. Lots of my teenage memories are about playing sports, engaging in various nerdy activities with my mostly male nerdy friends, and liking girls who didn’t like me back. So actually, I find lots of male comedians’ anecdotes about being a teenage boy quite relatable. I spent most of my teenage years trying not to think about what teenage girls were expected to be doing, and getting upset when I was reminded of it by people telling me I should do it. So when I hear female comedians talk about teenage makeup mishaps with an attitude of “I know all the women in the room remember this”, I instinctively don’t like it. I’m glad comedy like that exists, for the people who do relate to it to enjoy. But I find it difficult, and then I feel guilty about the internalized misogyny that makes me find it difficult, because I just gave several paragraphs of excuses for what boils down to me being more open to hearing things from male comedians than from female ones.

Anyway. Harriet Kemsley’s show did have a bit of that. But I think I’ve gotten better, in the last while, at not having an immediate negative reaction to that. So I made myself just listen to her stories, and that was worth it. She had interesting things to say about how it felt to be a girl who did want to meet the expectations of what a girl should be. And she had funny things to say when criticizing how absurd those expectations are, and when describing how much of a mess it was when she tried to do it. She then tied that into her parenting stories, talked about her daughter growing up in a world that has its own set of expectations, talked about still feeling the need to meet those feminine expectations as an adult but not wanting to pass that need down to her daughter. Tackled some serious subjects, remained pretty consistently funny while discussing them – I think that was the strongest part of her comedy show.

Daniel Kitson – Maybe a Ghost Story (2023)

I watched this when he livestreamed it on Halloween a couple of weeks ago (a show that was originally performed in 2022, and the version that was streamed as pretty much exactly the same as the 2022 version, it’d be great if that just becomes a Halloween tradition to do this every year), it was very good, I was going to add it to this but I’ve decided it deserves its own post. Which I will write another day. But at least today I’ve managed to finish most of the post that I started like two weeks ago.

[kariachi]

Guess who has Save the Last Dance words this morning?

That’s all the warning you’re getting.

Because here’s the thing, I was raising an eyebrow at the shit Gwen pulled early in the episode already, back when it aired. Because Kevin doesn’t actually ask her out- he asks if she’s looking for him to take her to an event, she decides ‘that’s good enough’ gives him a time to pick her up and immediately fucks off, presumably in case he tries to clear up the ‘misunderstanding’ given later shit (you know we’ll get there), and then Kevin rolls with it because he does like her- and her purposefully misunderstanding him is, to put it simply, fucking rude. Who raised this child?

And then we realize that this happens the day before the dance, and this is a point where we very much hit ‘viewer experiences affect how they engage with text’ territory because I was an American teenager at the time this episode aired. I was an American teenager who had been to four different high schools. None of them were you bringing a last minute date who did not go to the school. That shit required paperwork, parent signatures, shit submitted at least a week in advance. And I am aware that this is probably a post-9/11 thing, and that the writers were probably all in at least their thirties, but, still takes a bitch out of the allure when they’re going ‘that poor guy’s gonna go through all this work to get turned away at the door because he’s not on the guest list.’

‘Either that or Gwen did all this shit ahead of time, which would be fucking creepy.’

But, let us put that aside, personal experiences coloring shit, yadda yadda, yackimy-smackity. This girl describes herself as having “made him ask me to the dance”. Quote from the episode, when she’s gunning for sympathy from Julie because she’s worried he might not show.

And she didn’t make him, because he didn’t ask her, but she did purposefully misunderstand him. Actually, one second, a quote from me from my rewatch of this episode-

“Ever since I made him ask me to the dance“ you didn’t even do that!!! He asked if you wanted him to ask you and you responded with a time for him to pick you up! Which, by the way, really fucking rude! And presumptive! And now you’re being all “oh but now he’s acting weird” you should be grateful he’s having anything to do with you. People with more self esteem would’ve taken that for the red flag it fucking is and backed off entirely!”

But what gets me about her saying that, really digs under the skin, is that her describing herself like that? Says a lot about her attitude going into the situation. Because, again, he didn’t ask her out, she didn’t ‘make him’ do shit. The proper phrasing, that I as a writer would use if I didn’t want my character to look like an asshole, would be ‘got him to’. Because ‘made him’ brings across the idea that the matter has been forced. And for Gwen to use it when she didn’t force the matter, after what we already saw, says to me that she intended to. Otherwise why would her brain be in the space to use that wording? Unless she’s realized she was being rude, overstepping set boundaries, and feels bad about it, but it’d be a first for her in AF and even then why not fucking say that? It’d be just as easy to have Gwen going ‘I’m worried I might have overstepped’ as it is to have her go ‘I’m worried Kevin’s gonna stand me up’. Or have her apologize at some point for being pushy, and then you could’ve had Kevin forgiving her and it could’ve been a really sweet moment letting them move forward with clear air and definitely on the same page.

But again, that’s assuming she uses the phrase ‘made him’ from a place of guilt or regret. Which we get no indication is the case. In which case, whether she did it or not, her own words imply that she may not have intended to accept a ‘no’ from Kevin on this. Which, given her behavior in All That Glitters, laughing at and ignoring a basic boundary while very very much trying to pressure Kevin into making a move, isn’t all that outlandish a possibility.

Which hits even harder when you consider, again, personal experience impacting engagement with the text. Because one really solid way to force the matter would be to have gone through all that effort ahead of time, and have that there to pull out as a ‘I went through all this and you’re going to make it a waste’. Which is very unlikely to be intended, but a very viable interpretation.

Even without it though, again, there’s the implication Gwen intended to try to force a date out of Kevin with this dance. It’s even entirely possible that part of her phrasing is that her plan was to just tell him when to pick her up and go no matter what he said there, essentially voluntelling him to come to the dance with her, in which case her plan went off as intended and so was her ‘making’ him ask her out. It’s entirely possible that if anything being able to interpret his words as asking her out, even if he clearly wasn’t, made her more secure in her decision to do that, which would’ve made him acting ‘weird’ hit harder and more something to whinge at poor Julie about.

#achi rambles #i think this counts as #ben 10 analysis #at least one non-papa fan of this ship follows me and i don't know why #but they don't want to read this

[dinitride-art]

Some weird things I’ve noticed about one/Vecna/Henry - an incomplete list/analysis (also not excuses for all his shit, I’m just trying to figure him out)

I’d first like to start off by analyzing what we don’t see in Henry’s backstory. First, with Victor Creel, we are shown Vecna’s first attack through a very flawed lense. His father cannot see that his son was the one that killed everyone, not a demon. He doesn’t see Henry as the problem, but we also don’t see any other problems with Henry from his perspective. We don’t actually see much of Henry at all from Victor’s perspective. The thing I find interesting about Victors story is that he says that him and his wife were tormented by memories from their past. We get an explaination for his past, but we never see his wife’s past. Or at least we don’t get an explaination for it.

When we go to Henry’s version of the story, we get a whole lot of stuff that Victor didn’t know or care to mention. Like doctor Brenner, he didn’t come up in Victors story. Whether that be because of the plot reveal of Vecna or whatnot, he wasn’t mentioned. Henry made note of the fact that it was his mother that called in the doctor. Victor described Henry as a ‘sensitive child’ but when Henry said what his parents thought of him he said that they thought there was something wrong with him, that he needed to be fixed. We don’t get any evidence for them saying that, nor do we get them saying anything. Henry’s mother, who is shown more, is still not explained. She called the doctor and Henry described both parents as having dark secrets- but he never gave us his mother’s.

There are many many years we do not see with Henry and doctor Brenner. We can assume that after Henry went into a coma he was taken by Brenner and was with him for all the years until el banished him to the upside down. But we don’t see any of that. When does he get that tattoo in this time line? Is it before he murders his family? After? If it’s after, then what was the final straw that Brenner had that caused him to put that implant in his neck to suppress his powers? We don’t know. We’ve been given a lot, but we’ve also been given nothing. Why does Henry want to destroy everything? If it’s because he’s inherently evil and bad then that’s just boring. It adds nothing to the story or too the plot other than a cardboard antagonist put up for eleven to pour water on.

Henry is the main antagonist. He has been the main antagonist since the first season. The discussion of motivations throughout the series is always the first thing the think about. The why. Characters and trauma and secrets were a major theme in season four. Lies in season three. Deceit in season two. The unknown in season one. If Henry has been the overarching villain this whole time then he’s been connected to those themes this whole time.

Henry Creel isn’t a one dimensional character. His thoughts and motivations haven’t been established yet. Why four as a number, why his mother first, why the library, why not try to manipulate eleven further when she tried to save max, why was he a sensitive kid? Why is he the main antagonist?

A lot of season four was finding out who Vecna was. And they found out that he was Henry. But they didn’t find out shit about his motivations. It’s not Brenner, because Henry didn’t seem to care when el said he was dead. It’s not anyone he’s already killed because they’re dead. His motivations don’t seem to be in line with anything we’ve been shown yet. So, maybe his motivations lie with what we haven’t seen yet, Henry’s secrets.

We’ve only seen the consequences from Henry: His family, the children, the people of Hawkins. He’s manipulative, he’s powerful, he’s a whole super villain. But what is the cause? In everything we know about Henry, we’ve been given what he’s done. But everyone- even Henry- glosses over anything that might have been a cause. ‘I saw what my parents had done’ great, why’d he kill his sister before his father then? ‘He was a sensitive kid’, that’s not enough. Will was a sensitive kid, he didn’t murder anyone. He was different isn’t a strong enough explaination for his actions.

Henry is the way he is because of reasons that haven’t been explained in the story yet. And if his whole thing is absorbing people and their secrets so they can all suffer together, then he’s got secrets too.

#stranger things #henry creel #st vecna #st 001 #long post #he’s and evil evil man with evil evil plans because- [redacted] #saw a post saying that he’s been evil since like birth and my brain went uhhhhh- no. #not in like a ahaha you’re wrong and incorrect #but because I truly believe that we haven’t been given shit #also inherently evil character go against some major elements of stranger things #billy could have been a terrible human from birth but they gave him a backstory that explained his character #he was a terrible human being BECAUSE- everything shown about his family #Steve’s redemption arc wouldn’t have been a thing if they were going will characterization like d&d alignment charts #lawful evil isn’t applicable to the shows previous characters and doesn’t really make sense to be brought in now

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Day Three

[This is the fourth part of a collected liveblog/analysis of Nona the Ninth!  See here for the other parts.]

In this section, the pieces start falling into place as more familiar faces finally show up!

Chapter 11

-p134 I’m amused at how Muir predicted just how much the fandom would obsess over the Pool Scene that we wouldn’t mind repeated clumsy re-enactments of it to tear apart for more specific details haha. Gideon and Harrow’s arms were where and where, you say?

On the other hand, the link to a beloved scene almost makes me think this is a feint - that it’s not the scene from GtN, but something else entirely. I can’t imagine what, though. John sealing away Alecto? The water being liquid rather than ice means it can’t be Harrow seeing Alecto for the first time or anything like that.

-p134 lmao Nona specifically saying the feelings in the Pool Scene were not sexy. *raises eyebrow at piles and piles of post-Pool Scene explicit fic*

Although honestly, Nona’s was always my interpretation of that scene - I’ve read a few of those fics, but they’re not really my cup of tea. In canon, there were so many new and conflicting and difficult emotions going on in that scene for both characters that it always feels jarring to transition it to straightforward horniness. I could see it happening later, perhaps. But not then.

-p135 So Muir wasn’t kidding in that interview about Nona wanting to talk about things that make her horny!

Nona finding flowers sexy is yet another one of those things that makes zero sense as Gideon or Harrow, but all the sense if you assume she’s Alecto/Earth. From a planet’s perspective, the shampoo ad is just another giant picture of sex organs, after all! Why wouldn’t it be extremely sexy?

[Later me: Given that Nona is indeed Alecto/Earth, I hope someone somewhere writes a fic of Nona getting off to like… watching bees pollinate flowers or other utterly nonhuman reproductive methods. Nature and sex are weird! Run with it! XD]

-p135 If Nona does end up being Gideon or Harrow, I imagine the fandom is going to spend a lot of time analyzing this scene of Nona insisting she has a deep need to know what Pal finds sexy.

After all, we did know Gideon was jealous of Pal/Harrow… plenty of ways to take that.

-p138 Oh. Hot Sauce has burns. Hot Sauce has burns and goes to the cages. She can’t be a necro because Herald madness, but hm. Hmhm. She has something to do with them.

Also, on the subject of the cages - my take on the implications here is that Pyrrha went to the cages not to rescue the people, but for info gathering and possibly to shoot them to give them quick deaths.

-p139 And now we’ve got a conversation about Pyrrha’s type. Which we kind of already knew from Wake’s notes! Woman likes to live dangerously, apparently.

-p139 I continue to enjoy how this series describes very pale white skin tones. (See also: descriptions of Ianthe and Cytherea.) I have that skin tone myself, and I hate how it’s usually romanticized and seen as the pinnacle of beauty. In reality, it is seriously gross!

Ooh, and Nona saying she doesn’t like redheads when Gideon is one… very hm. Even if Nona was very much not thinking about Gideon in her reply here, because Gideon has darker skin!

-p140 Welp, I see we’re going to have a bunch of nurse!Cam and nurse!Dulcie art and fanfic now given Pal’s answer…

I’m amused at how Nona immediately assumes Cam lied and not that she didn’t know. Which, tbf, is my read of it too.

-p140 Okay, Nona wishing she had someone else to eat food for her is both very #relatable and also something that I’ve seen in a few Gideon and Harrow fics!

-p140 end - WELP THEN

Chapter 12

-Describing Crown’s golden hair - oh. OH. Ha, how did I not figure it out before? She’s Coronabeth, isn’t she? Charismatic and beautiful and committed to BOE’s cause.

Judith isn’t We Suffer, is she? Or more likely, “The Captain” from the guest list?

p144 Yup, “The Captain” is Judith!

-p148 Ah, our first look at true BOE! Apparently, they’re really into the mask aesthetic,

Which is an interesting choice isn’t it? Usually it’s the evil empire and their Stormtrooper-esque grunts  who wear the humanity and empathy-removing masks!

Of course, the coronavirus pandemic also puts another meaning/implication on the table…

-p148 Ha! We get Corona’s full BOE name! No obvious other languages in the middle, so I’m not sure where the component pieces begin and end. Looking forward to seeing analysis of it on tumblr.

-The term Ctesiphon for the BOE cells has come up several times. Another thing I’ll have to read analysis of to understand the reference.

-p149 Oh boy, writing a character (We Suffer) with an accent can be… tricky… to pull off respectfully. Is We Suffer’s just a generic accent, or is the awkward grammar meant to be similar to another real language?

-p150 Heh, a good bit of humanizing here. Despite the mask and the voice changer, this BOE bodyguard is still spoiling for a fight.

-p153 As Ianthe coined “Harry,” Corona coined “Millie.” The twins really do think alike in some ways…

-p153 So Corona is bi! *briefly considers the shippable male characters in this series* yeah no, that’s still not happening

-p154 As I thought, Varun is the BOE name for the RB. Ooh, and later we get the BOE names (codenames?) for the Lyctors too!

If I ever do make that giant character names spreadsheet, should I add a column for these names… hm… probably...

-p156 Ooh, so Cytherea was working with BOE! Good to have that confirmed. It was speculated, but unclear how much she was working with Augustine and Mercymorn or BOE.

But yeah, seems like her deal on Canaan House was personal revenge, not a BOE plot in any way

-You know I’ve been assuming zombies = necros, but I think it might be closer to just anyone from the Nine Houses? Since they were all resurrected, after all.

-p159 Ah, so Juno Zeta is part of the hostage sixteen. Expected, but that continues to make the situation even more fraught.

Chapter 13

-p162 “Our Lady of the Passion” aka Pash was the bodyguard, and Nona knew her name all along. Huh. Also, nepotism? Is she related to We Suffer or Unjust Hope, or even Wake?

-p163 Yup, we’re visiting Judith. Who is probably completely Herald-mad at this point. Man, poor girl cannot catch a break, can she?

-p165 Hmhm! Is that the RB speaking through Judith to Nona? I’m pretty sure it is! Which suggests the other RBs are probably sapient too…

-p171 Heh, of course the RB wouldn’t speak in a human tongue. And of course, Nona understands anyway!

Chapter 14

-p174 That’s pretty much confirming Jodybeth is canon, isn’t it! (Now if only they would both stop being idiots…)

At the same time wiping out Corona x Cam. (And Corona x Harrow, but does anyone ship that on its own?) Sad trombone.

-p175 I wonder who Corona was reminded of here? Perhaps more of Ianthe, but perhaps Gideon? Harrow? Someone else? >p177 Ah, I think here she’s reminded of Gideon, and previously it was Harrow.

-p177 Hm, what does Corona think Nona is? I’m imagining it’s that she’s Harrow as a full Lyctor, but that also doesn’t seem quite right….

Chapter 15

-p184 Born in the Morning is a he and his name is in a different language, I’m guessing? Because Nona doesn’t realize when she translates, so she seems to have said it in the wrong language at first here.

[Later me: It will turn out that Born in the Morning really does have ties to BOE, but if Nona is translating without realizing it, then do all names sound like that to her? Maybe Honesty is actually, idk, Veronica or Kurt or something like that, and Nona just autotranslates it to be the root meaning.]

-p184 Seems like Hot Sauce is in a group that’s even more anti-necro than BOE. Perhaps one of the anarchist factions briefly mentioned?

-p185 Ohh, was Hot Sauce an original inhabitant of the planet? And her brothers died fighting the Cohort invasion. (The explosive bodies is a specifically Fourth trick, iirc.)

Man, the subtle tragedy of the 14 year olds in this series both being soldiers on the opposite sides of a genocidal war. If Hot Sauce ever met Isaac or Jeannemary, they would literally kill each other, and not in a funny way at all…

-p186 Hm, what is the Secret that Nona has? Have we been shown this yet

Yeah I don’t think we’re supposed to know the Secret. A clinic and organ markets - does Nona think her heart or brain will give out?

John 8:1

-p189 It was pretty obvious that if the “present” of the dream was ever reality, it was Alecto and John post-perfect lyctorhood. But if there were any doubt, John is now described to have the weird, inhuman eyes.

-p189 There’s a Mars installation and still Flat Earthers exist. Of course.

-p190 I have a feeling this section, with the references to YouTube and streaming, may be one of the aspects of these books that ages the quickest.

-p191 So Alfred was a hedge fund manager in a past life. Some cavs do deserve Lyctorhood lol.

-p193 We’re doing a lot to make John sympathetic here. My called shot in my HtN thoughts was that if John ends up “redeemed” or portrayed too sympathetically, it will cause a lot of furor within the fandom (based on my experiences in another fandom). *grimace intensifies*

[Later me: I shouldn’t have worried, this was one bullet NtN dodged! Even with these earlier sections, John is still the Worst!]

-Also, everyone was so sure necromancy came from John killing the ten billion, but it really seems like it didn’t? Unless all of John’s story is a convenient lie… And we do know that John lies…

Chapter 16

-Come to think of it, I’m surprised “necromancer” is a banned word for Nona. Pal called it “superstition.” But that’s what they’re called in the Nine Houses??

-p197 And now we see the House propaganda tactics. Apparently they have videos and projector tech too!

-p198 Noodle was bred to have an “arboreal” pair of legs? Wild. But at least the extra legs don’t seem to be hurting him, unlike poor pugs who were bred to barely be able to breathe.

-p203 When you’re in, you’re in. Given the mention of Hokey Pokey, this was almost certainly Nona remembering John teaching Alecto. No one on the Ninth would reference that lol.

-As a reader, of course I want to see more worldbuilding of the House overtures, but in-character - the contrivances to get Nona to go to the broadcast seem a bit awkward and forced.

-p205 Huh. So House projector tech involves silvery hexagons that light up. No idea what’s going on there, if it’s meant to evoke any real tech at all.

-I’m 50/50 on whether this is genuine overtures or as the people suspect, just getting a big crowd to kill them all. Actually going up to angry people and thinking that showing a nice, happy movie would help does seem like John being his funny doofus self - but underneath the “just some guy”-isms, John’s empire is also a terrifyingly functional fascist war machine, so it’s always hard to predict which way he will swing…

-...The unrehearsed and snippy nature of the speaker of the broadcast initially makes me think Mercy. But Mercy is dead. Ianthe, then?

-p207 Brown hair, but very pale skin, hm? Oh, and the blue-brown eyes are a giveaway. Did Ianthe get Babs’s hair color because of her dip in the River at the end of HtN?

Outside chance that this is Babs somehow (if Ianthe didn’t survive the trip back from the River at all?), though in theory he should have Ianthe’s eyes if that were the case.

-p207 New Rho! We finally have a name for this planet they’re on!

-208 Ah. So this is an ultimatum directed at Corona and the rest, isn’t it.  But mostly Corona I suspect.

-Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, eh? Seems like some level of Ianthe-Babs fusion went down... now that is something I wasn’t expecting!

Also, Saint of Awe? Hmhm, I’ve seen that as a possible title for Ianthe in fics before! Did someone leak ARC details, or just a good guess?

-p209 Oh, so THAT’S where Gideon’s body went!

Is… is she even alive at all, or just being puppeted by Ianthe’s necromancy?

And hey! Now we have a name for Divine Highness Gideon! “Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia” huh.

Also looks like I was right that the dream girl was Gideon.

Also also, I guess Gideon’s body was the precious thing that was lost in the attack mentioned way earlier!

-p210 Okay yeah Gideon’s still a corpse. Is anyone inhabiting the corpse?

-”Anyway!” Ianthe is still hilariously casual at these official proclamations, you’d think she wasn’t raised from birth to become a political leader. :P

-pfff OF COURSE this would end in a “is this still on?” joke. OF COURSE

-p216 I haven’t done much speculating about Angel (Aim?). But with the driver speaking good House - could they be another runaway House member? Even a Lyctor, perhaps?

-p218 Oh dear, Pyrrha is missing! But it’s Pyrrha, she can take care of herself, at least… right? Right??

-Huh, another John dream? Did Nona faint?

John 19:18

-p220 Ulysses and Titania were Fourth, weren’t they? Some historical rhyming going on with the Fourth representatives always being seen as kids compared to the others.

-p222-223 Ah, and as long predicted, here’s the disappeared trillionaires who abandoned the Earth. And presumably, John is still searching for them.

But it wasn’t even clear if the FTL travel would work. Maybe they all just phased out into a planet and died. And this whole quest for revenge is meaningless.

But then, where did BOE and the human population on other planets come from, if not from the trillionaires? So who/what is John searching for?

Or was Augustine wrong about the searching part? Maybe this is more of a [uh, FFXIV spoilers I guess?] Dragonsong War situation. Just an endless meat grinder of vengeance where the continuing suffering is the entire point.

Day Four >>

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #tlt analysis #my ramblings #my tlt stuff #read more #thoughts on ntn

[whatagirlwants]

I’m not trying to be confrontational and I know you want to talk about other things, but why is it vicious that he might have feelings for Olivia again? He was very mad at her for a while but then potentially being on okay terms and him catching feelings again doesn’t seem evil. Is it because you think he’s using her for clout and that these aren’t genuine feelings? Or because him having these feelings proves that he was still into her when he was with Sabrina?

no its okay u can ask if u have questions about this topic.

vicious in a sense why sabrina finds him vicious? its more than just him suddenly having feelings for olivia. i mean she sings about it: its the way he left her and the way things went down between them, the back and forth with him. he cant makeup his mind. i think theres layers to it and especially with those 2 things were complex for months even after they “brokeup”

tbh just my opinion from all this; i think s feels used cause he jumped from that relationship to having a relationship with her and then when shit hit the fan he couldnt take it and left.

i do think in some way he’s using o for attention. its no secret his tiktok comments are all jolivias any song he would post they’d always assume its for her. so in a way when he’s posting his lyrics now there or does things where it links him to O so it does mean its also for attention even if his feelings are genuine.

and we’ve seen S question him and his feelings for her in lonesome.

but yeah thats just how i see things idk id be pissed too. the guy brokeup with olivia the first time so fast so he could shoot his shot with sabrina… he wanted something from her then even if he was doing it unintentionally and actually liked her. but you dont just change your mind and leave and suddenly have confused feelings.

id be pissed too. id be like damn that guy cant make up his mind. S in lonesome she expresses feeling used like just an opportunity for him. he wanted a collab. she was more established. she has connections. she has recourses…etc

your question is a little off cause im not the one to call him vicious but i get why she felt that way or describe him as that in the song. and it was so many things in the song that she listed that made her call him vicious. the only thing she had to say about him and O is “when you’re insecure could be me could be her”. Sabrina’s hurt i think she feels like she wasted her time and its clear she never had answers thats what decode is about. theres no reason to understand things or try to fix things or understand why he left she just had to walk away too.

anyways back to ur question.. why do i find tha vicious? i just find that weird. he clearly has issues that he should’ve dealt with since 2020 instead he lead 2 girls on and had her wasting her time.

but oh well the musics good at least. it does feel like shes moved on but i dont think theres anything wrong with vicious. like i said if we just look at the situation the way it is and then listen to vicious like she has a right to be pissed off when she was and write it. cause that’s literally what happened.

[huniegloom]

I’ve been thinking about that tiktok video where that girl was listing all her requirements for a guy and all the incels got mad. It got me thinking about my own set of rules and I decided that I’m going to post ‘em here lol.

1. They obviously gotta treat me as an equal and not an trophy to boost their own ego. Basically treat everyone and themselves with basic human decency and genuine kindness without expecting anything else in return. This involves being nice to girls that you don’t personally find attractive. Normal people don’t even do this anyway. :/ just be a human being please.

2. Attractive, Confident and has a sense of self worth. I refuse to be with an overgrown toddler who can’t have a mature conversation with me without the fear of having a different opinion than me about anything. If you get mad or defensive over me saying this movie sucks especially if it’s a film bro type of shit nah you’re out bro. Also I can tell when you’re only saying shit to impress or please me you don’t need to do that. I’m seeing you we’ve known each other for quite awhile it’s ok to be vulnerable with me I don’t bite. Yet :)

3.This is a continuation of 2 but more on the self worth thing. Again I refuse to date an overgrown toddler whose afraid of do or talk about anything fun out of the fear of being emasculated. Men like this are boring as hell you can tell when a guy only does things to show off how “educated” & “masculine” they are than having genuine hobbies that they actually enjoy. These types of men be having the biggest temper tantrums over things that don’t even matter. You’re like 20 or older bruh chill.

4. They must be strong, talk with their hands, work out but don’t make going to the gym their whole personality, make eye contact if their comfortable. This is also mostly for aesthetics but bonus points if they are playful, sleazy, and a bit of a stoner. I can’t help it most of the guys I met like this are attractive as hell. I don’t mind being a little messy. They also need to have a cute smile, cute smiles, make me melt.

5. Lastly sometimes you can tell a lot about a person through the people they chose to surround themselves by. They can say one thing to you but act completely different around the “bros” if they are in a toxic friend group full of gross and vile men then they are probably gross and vile to. Not always they could be hiding who they truly are to fit in but 90% of the time their friends are a reflection of who they are deep down. If they don’t defend you after their bros “disapprove” of you than no. That is a terrible environment to be in and you shouldn’t tolerate inhuman treatment for some dude. That makes the both of you desperate. Either communicate with him tell him how you felt and if he doesn’t want to make the change drop them.

I never gave a shit about dating because through friendship I can tell who a person just by that dynamic alone. If I don’t like what I see on the surface than I probably won’t like what I see on a deeper level. It’s funny because looking back all the men in my life who called me weird and undesirable were the opposite of what I wanted in a man. They were basically the ones who had all the negatives I described. I find it ironic because they were always the same ones that were openly vile towards me as if I wanted them.

#dating #men are exhausting #preferences #tiktok #viral trends #long ass post #actually autsitic #autizzy

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 141

Slash Fiction/Vincent and the Doctor

“Slash Fiction”

Plot Description: Once again on the FBI’s Most Wanted list l, Sam and Dean seek help from a friend of Bobby’s when two Leviathans go on a killing spree as Sam and Dean

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: for the first time and given a universe where what the Winchesters face is real, my daily life is the subject of the first five minutes. And…if a leviathan decided to rob my branch, make everyone in there cower in the safe deposit box vault room, and then open fire? No. I don’t think i would survive

This leviathan they caught is pretty funny ngl

Ok. That tracks. He was able to get the boys’ aliases from when their souls were in Cas…that’s how he got the hit on the credit card Sam used

Bobby’s friend is…interesting, to say the least. A lil paranoid

Aw man. No more classic rock aliases. It’s a cash only existence for them now. And electronics? Forget about ‘em

Apparently, decapitation does SOMETHING to the leviathans

Oh nooooo not Babyyyyyy. Poor Dean

Bobby has a therapist?

Alright. Them playing Leviathan who HATE their actual characters IS pretty funny. JESUS. Deans not gonna get that burger he wants so bad

Uggggghhhhhhhhh hate when they download all the info on the person they’re pretending to be

THEY FOUND SOMETHING BY ACCIDENT???

Oh fun!! The leviathans are cops now…aaaaaand they’re back to being the boys

Oh no…is this one going to spill the beans about Amy to Sam? Yup. Thought so.

Dean. That shouldn’t feel good. You just decapitated “yourself”

Are those FBI agents ALSO leviathan?

Ok Bobby and Jody are pretty cute

I knew at least one of them was a leviathan

There’s so much I forgot about this plot line. Is the PRESIDENT a leviathan? Or is he just running for it?

Hey!!! Crowley!!!

Mmmmm…there it is. Omg, the way they keep splitting up. How many times is this? And how many times has that been the right move? Oh, none?

“Vincent and the Doctor”

Plot Description: Terror lurks in the cornfields of Provence, but only a sad and lonely painter can see it. Amy Pond finds herself shoulder to shoulder with Vincent VanGogh in a battle with a deadly alien

I. AM. READY. TO. CRY. (As long as “max” doesn’t fuck up too bad)

The Doctor and the tour guide complimenting each others’ bow ties ❤️❤️

I love seeing them bring all the VanGogh paintings to life

Omg Doc…just say you’re jealous of Amy and Vincent getting along.

LEAVE VINCENT ALOOOONE. HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING. This isn’t his fault

It’s not every day you get to watch the Doctor make a fool of himself while the person he’s helping gets to be the hero, but Vincent’s the only one who can see the alien, sooooooo

(Omg max is so laggy)

Shut. Up. The impressionists were proper painters. You ass

Oh. Amy among all those sunflowers is such a pretty picture

Oh I want to give a long dead painter a huge hug

But now he’s ready to take on the alien. With his paints and canvas in hand

I love when characters who are used to doing things really quickly have to slow down. They get so annoyed. Aang did it when Sokka forced them to walk instead of flying on Appa, and now the Doctor is experiencing linear time. But like…he says this as though he’s never had to stay in places for a few hours

When the historical figure falls in some type of love or admiration for the companion>>>>

I rag on spn for having monsters that look like humans all the time but I also gotta say something about how you only ever see this alien when it’s not engaged in combat with a character. Like, neither can be on screen at the same time

The Doctor calling Vincent Rory 😭😭😭

Oh, it was alone and frightened and it couldn’t see…and now it’s gone

They have such nice moments. Like this one in the field where he describes the sky to Amy and the Doctor

It’s so weird to see them take a historical figure to the “present” (2010). Omg, him just wanting to ask about whatever electronic device that was and the Doctor dismissing it as unimportant

Yeah. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

That man just had the weirdest and most wonderful day at work and…he’ll never really know it

Oh Amy…your optimism and it getting crushed

I’m getting so worked up over the “for Amy”

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[electricbluebutterflies]

Melissa/Chris + Pegging

Post-canon, NSFW, also on ao3. Not too much more to say about this concept.

This has got to be the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to her, and she does not say that lightly.

Like, the baseline for weird shit right now is on a level Melissa never expected until it was far too late for her to do anything about it. On a quiet day, she doesn’t have to deal with any supernatural beings who don’t live with her – and right now she’s got four different species under her roof, courtesy of her son deciding to rescue every stray on the west coast and bring them somewhere safe and needless to say she had very little ability to say no to so much as the underage selkie – and so few of her days are quiet. There is, she is learning more and more as years pass, so much out there, and the people she loves are determined to either bring it home or date it or try to save it or…

Her baseline for weird is either extremely low or extremely high depending on the view, but it does not have space for what her very human boyfriend of several years has decided he wants her to do to him.

Melissa would describe herself as open-minded on a mattress, fine. Her historic taste in men means she’s learned to like it rough, she’s more flexible than most of her lovers expected, and she’s willing to try anything… honestly, as many times as she has to if she thinks it’ll get the person doing it to her to stay. Compared to all that came before him, Chris has been a relief of a lover – whole new set of preferences, yes, and none of them within her usual baselines, but all of it easier. They’ve gotten comfortable with each other over the past few years, comfortable enough to debug that his submissive tendencies are a lot more real than hers have ever been, comfortable enough for-

“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Melissa asks, glaring once again at the neon pink strap-on currently still in packaging on her bed.

“Have I ever suggested anything I wasn’t…”

With clothes off, no. In this sort of space, the deprogramming has been relatively minimal. But this is the sort of request that reminds Melissa what came before her, the deceased wife who… Melissa knows it is not nice to speak badly of the dead, especially when she can’t prove ghosts aren’t real and she doesn’t need a haunting on top of everything else, but she did not like that woman. Maybe it was just a bad first (and second, and third) impression, but-

“You’re asking me to… fuck you,” she says, and she hates that there aren’t cute euphemisms for this. “I’m going to ask.”

Chris turns his head and oh he looks like so many contradictions right now, solid and masculine and lying on their bed all exposed and hidden at the same time. “This is why I didn’t suggest it earlier.”

Valid point. This is how calm she is about it now. A year ago, or worse two years ago when they were first getting involved? A snowball in hell would have a better day. As it is…

“I’m just not sure how that’s comfortable. I know internal stimulation is a thing but-“

“Mel. Trust me. This used to be normal.”

And if she were in a slightly different mood she’d start listing all the things that used to be normal for her once, all the shit she put up with because she’d gotten married at age too-young-to-know-better and thought she had to just go with whatever that idiot wanted to do with her and-

Not everyone has experienced what happened to her, she reminds herself. She will not accuse her lover of a past she cannot prove. She will give him this once, and then they will reassess.

He turns his head away again and she prepares herself – she knows how this goes in theory, at least. When the idea had been floated by her, a few days ago, there was a suggestion that she stick something inside herself too but… no, too much distraction, she needs to focus, and she’d rather ask him to kneel for her afterwards. That has been a pleasant surprise, the things that man happily does with his mouth, and-

“Tell me if anything feels wrong,” she says, because she is still everything she is.

“I will. I… it’s been a while, but that thing’s smaller than-“

“I really, really don’t want to know.”

This is how they function, as two people who have pasts that occasionally impede current intimacies. If it doesn’t matter, if neither of them is in flashback mode, it isn’t discussed. And his trauma isn’t sexual, doesn’t seem to involve that part of his past at all, and-

Melissa puts what feels like too much lube on her finger and starts the prepwork. Her partner’s body is as receptive as one could hope, responses lining up with her vague understanding of his past, and it’s easy enough to find his internal pressure point and he makes a low growl and-

“I’m ready whenever you-“

She could hesitate, could find a good enough reason not to do this, could get distracted by the strange object currently attached to her body, could-

Instead, she lines herself up and lets it happen.

Her movements are awkward, her inexperience all too visible. She is used to being on the other side, having something inserted into her body and enjoying it, she has become more comfortable leading in this love but she is still used to being the one with receptive parts, not-

She slips a hand beneath their bodies and oh at least her partner is enjoying this. She’ll take him apart like this, or try to, she knows how good his control usually is but this is a different kind of vulnerability, this is-

The fun thing about this position, Melissa learns, is that she’s not coordinated enough to take kisses at the same time and he makes no effort to stop the pretty noises he makes. How different that is from their usual, how different from the restraint that made him seem like a safe lover when she was still deciding she wanted him that way. Beautiful, she thinks.

Restraint is admirable but not infinite. Her hand is still under him when he falls apart, and she withdraws immediately, shifts into more normal routines, awkward pink fake prick still attached to her body as she cleans them. She has half a mind to do it with her mouth but she knows how weird he gets about that, only man she’s ever been with who regularly declines that kind of pleasure, but-

“Was that what you wanted?” she asks, using a damp washcloth instead as they are used to.

“It was. Are you…”

“That’s never going to be my favorite thing,” she murmurs. “But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m not saying never again.”

“Alright.”

“Maybe for special occasions?”

“I could live with that.”

Now she can take kisses, and she does, so much sweeter like this. She can almost understand…

They are not each other’s pasts, she reminds herself as he removes the device from between her legs and gives her cautious pets to check her interest level. They are better than that. But they do not have to deny desires either. She could do midpoints and compromise and…

As she shifts her body to allow better access, as they exchange a look of permission before he settles with his head between her thighs, she could do anything at all.

#ebf writes fic #mcargent #chris x melissa

[thebluewritingbench]

Hi! I would love if you could write something for supercorp with “I hope our kid takes after you.”. Thank you!

some v domestic supercorp from the prompt list! (happiness 12 I believe)

"I hope our kid takes after you."

Lena’s not quite sure when Kara’s kitchen became her own.

She knows where every dish is, knows where Kara keeps her spices, her utensils, her canned goods. There are things in the fridge that are hers, crackers in the cupboard that Kara bought because she likes them. It’s possible she knows Kara’s kitchen better than she knows her own, at this point, considers it as much hers as she does Kara’s.

She rarely cooks at her apartment. She tells herself she doesn’t have the time, opting for takeout or frozen meals instead. But it’s become something of a routine to cook at Kara’s, and often several nights a week finds them holed up in Kara’s kitchen, trying new recipes and arguing about vegetables. It was an easy transition from their old routine of weekly restaurant or bar hangouts—just one night where Lena was too tired to go out and Kara suggested this instead of calling off the occasion completely.

Somewhere along the way, it became their new normal.

Lena’s standing at the stove, stirring a pot of lentil curry. It’s one of the only completely vegan dishes that she can convince Kara to eat, so she makes it as often as she can whenever she cooks. Outside, the November wind moans, blowing uneven patters of rain across the windows of Kara’s kitchen. It’s warm and dry inside, though, the air spiced by the stew, the kitchen lights soft and orange. The radio’s on, faintly playing ABBA songs, and Lena hums quietly along as she stirs. At the sink, Kara washes the dishes as Lena dirties them, her hair tied back in a messy bun at the nape of her neck.

The song ends, and the next one begins: Andante, Andante, in its sweet swinging rhythm.

“Oh, I love this song,” Lena says, swaying as she stirs. She abandons the curry when the lyrics begin, still holding the wooden spoon as she spins slowly around the kitchen to the rhythm, holding out her arms as though dancing with an invisible partner.

Kara turns to watch her, grinning and leaning her elbows back on the edge of the sink, and Lena reaches for one of her sud-soaked hands as she passes by. Kara laughs and stumbles after her. She ducks under Lena’s arm in a messy spin and then pulls herself close, her other hand finding Lena’s hip. They waltz around the kitchen, Kara lifting her arm to spin Lena this time as she sings along to the few words of the song she knows, Andante, Andante.

It’s the kind of moment in time that stretches, unhurried and unimportant but sweet like honey. The kind of moment where it feels like there’s nowhere and no one else in the world.

“You’re so perfect,” says Kara, smiling as they sway together. “I hope our kids take after you, some day.”

Lena hums, the swell of joy warm and soft in her chest. Kara’s hand sits comfortable on her hip as the music swells, too, and they sing along and laugh and spin around and around in the warm bubble of their kitchen in a way that feels infinite, in a way that seeps light into every dark corner.

The song ends, and Lena breaks away, dragging her hand away from Kara’s slowly until only their fingertips touch and then break apart, reaching for each other across empty air. She laughs, turning back to her curry. It takes until Kara, doing dishes again, drops a bowl and curses softly for her to register the words properly.

“Kara?” she says, hands freezing on the lid of the rice she’s putting on.

“Mmhm?”

“What was that you said? When we were dancing?”

Kara looks up at her, confused. She seems to struggle to remember for a moment, and then her face brightens. “Oh! I said I hope our kids take after you. You, know, because you’re perfect, and everything. I want them to be just like you. Sweet and smart and fun and kind.”

“Okay,” says Lena. “Right. That’s what I thought you said.”

“Great.” Kara turns back to her dishes.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t see anything… weird about that statement?”

Kara’s hands pause in the sink, and she looks up, nodding her head slightly as though replaying the words in her mind. Then her eyes go wide.

She says, “Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

Kara claps a dripping hand to her mouth. “I said… and I haven’t even…”

“Our kids,” Lena says. “Our kids.” She grins, and there’s something in her chest expanding, growing warm and bright and alive. “When were you planning to tell me I knocked you up, Miss Danvers?”

“Shut up,” laughs Kara. “Fuck.”

“One thing, Kara.”

“Yeah?”

“People who want kids together are usually married. Or at least dating.”

“Generally, yes, I think that’s a fair statement.” She’s turned around again to look at Lena, leaning back on the counter with a sweet smile on her face. Lena props her spoon up on the inside of the pot and moves to stand in front of her, her fingers grazing across Kara’s forearms.

“Is that a dream of yours?” she asks. “Having kids with me one day? Something you think about when you’re falling asleep? Growing old and… becoming grandparents and… waking up together every morning, forever?”

And Lena isn’t sure whose late-night fantasy she’s describing, because it’s a dream that’s come to her, too, in the delirious, half-awake moments where she let herself believe it possible.

Kara’s arms drape around her waist, pulling her closer so they’re pressed together, Lena’s hands curled against her chest. “Sometimes,” she whispers.

“I didn’t know you felt that way, darling.”

“Didn’t you, though?” Kara smiles softly. “We do this multiple times a week, you basically live here. Everyone’s half convinced we’re dating already. I’d probably spend every night like this, if I could.”

Lena brushes a hand across her cheek, thinking that she could easily fall into nights like this for the rest of her life, and murmurs, “So would I.” When Kara leans into her palm, she adds, “I’m not sure I’m quite ready for kids yet, though.”

“We could start smaller,” says Kara.

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“I think, usually, before they think about having children together, people start with a kiss.”

“Oh, is that so?” says Lena.

“Yup. That’s step one.”

“A kiss.” Lena studies Kara’s features from an inch away, lets her fingers roam feather soft across them: the set of her blue eyes, the flutter of her fair eyelashes, the divot of a scar beside her eyebrow. She runs her thumb over Kara’s lips. “I think I could manage that.”

They have a penchant for doing things out of order, thinks Lena. Because it’s after they’ve been doing something like dating for years, after she’s learned every nook of Kara’s home and heart like they’re her own, after they’ve discussed having children and growing old together, that they share their first kiss.

Her hands slide into Kara’s hair as she sinks into it, like the final piece of a puzzle piece falling into place, and they kiss to the background track of rain on the windowpanes, the fan on the stove, ABBA still singing in the background.

On the stove, the rice bubbles over, long forgotten.

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp fic #supercorp fanfic #this is like. sickeningly fluffy #domestic supercorp my loves #I was making lentil curry and listening to ABBA the day i wrote this #it's a delicious recipe if anyone wants it #asks #prompts #anon #bluewritingbench writes #bluewritingbench ficlets

[bitterren]

Even though Phil says he's not that good at roleplaying I will actually disagree, heavily.

For starters what he described as "just a few pointers and the goal for the conversation" is literally the definition of improv: you have a goal, you have the situation, now go. And I think the full heavy scripted lore is kind of affecting the expectation, for lack of a better word, of what it should be. So in reality? Phil is doing it perfectly, the same way it was done, well, in the good old days.

The other thing I wanted to mention is about the way he roleplays? Legitimately, after being in the fandom for a while, Phil is for sure on my list of favourites, especially with how he deals with conversations and people. Every one on one conversation he has, either it's planned to happen, or happens naturally its always so so fucking good. It's raw and it's natural and it's both calming and nice and comforting but sad and real and heavy and emotional at the same time. There is just this "way" he speaks when he does it as well, it's like this encompassing sense of inevitability of the world and problems coming to be but it's also this immense comfort in, weirdly, acceptance? of it all? (this just might be my personal feeling but if y'all have that similar "vibe" you slip into when listening to him have regular but heavier dialogues? I don't think I'm alone in this tbh)

The most prominent ones for me were: the small Ghostbur conversation, with their just discussing things, calmly, comfortably, Ghostbur playing it up more than it actually was with the raindrops, just to get Phil to react, it was all just so.. weird comfort in the regularity of it all, despite the weight of the events around them;

His small natural conversations with Ranboo, from just small interventions in each other's day to day and care for the small issues, to more emotional discussions of guilt over the death of Wil and just the more calm approach to heavier topics; then switching, naturally, to lighter goings about, jokes, random occurrences and just mundane tasks;

Then daunting, emotional talks like with Wilbur, right at the start (or, well, the end), and with Fundy today; it's heavy.. of course it is, and even though he sticks to his character's behavior and approach to these kind of things, he still cares, in his own way; but even then, I love how despite the severity of the discussion, the sudden jokes or more lighter comments seem so so natural, instead of out of nowhere, interrupting...

Another small thing I wanna mention is the laughter. Like, it should, technically, feel interruptive? and out of character or conversation? Phil even mentioned he does it often and feels like it doesn't suit what's actually happening, but it's really really not. I honestly love that, despite the situation, good, bad, heavy, mundane, sad, or anything, he still incorporates that small laughter into the conversations, even if unintentionally. That also tips us off to his feelings about all of it, since he's been alive for so so many years that he can let out a laugh despite how fucked the world around is, or how bad he feels or should feel about something. So essentially, like the majority of the best bits that got incorporated into actual story, it's unintentional and seemingly unfit, but works really well.

Tldr: for all of my Phil enjoyers out there, (that better be everybody lol) what he described as more "unprepared" and unscripted rp is literally what improv is: a situation/conversation and a goal you have to achieve during that. Perfect for a lot of the dialogue on the smp. The way Phil approaches the conversations and speaks as well gives me a very specific vibe of weird comfort and the acceptance of the inevitability of devastating things happening or like, keeping a semi calm demeanor in spite of the topic. ( might be a very specific me thing so if anyone else gets similar vibes from those small 1 on 1 convos let me know)

Even shorter Tldr: Phil said he's not great at lore, I disagree heavily. Phil very pog actually. Vibes complicated and might be only me specific but really good. Unintentional character traits turned impactful my beloved. Yeah.

#I made a similar smaller rant after the Ranboo conversation like a bit ago #but yeah #where my Phil enjoyers at #improved lore with a plot outline pog #this is such a rant but thoughts have yo go somewhere so #<3 #anyway #dream smp #philza #ranboo #ghostbur #fundy #but today was ouch #like #L'pain #oh boy #long boi rant but ye

[clusterbuck]

how about 4 from the prompts list? "I'm here, aren't I?"

okay fun fact when i sat down to fill this prompt and turned my spotify on shuffle the first song to come up was i'm here by sweet talk radio so like... that's appropriate lmao

thanks for the prompt!!

"i'm here, aren't i?" buck mutters under his breath. "stop looking at me like that! it's rush hour on a friday, i did the best i could with the traffic conditions i had."

"i know, i know," eddie whispers next to him. "i'm not mad at, you, i just—" he cuts himself off and sighs. "i was going to talk to you about something before we went in."

"why am i here, anyway?" buck asks, looking around at all of the parents and teachers milling around the foyer of christopher's school. "i mean, you know i don't mind, but you made it sound really—"

he's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice, somewhere on eddie's other side. "mr diaz, there you are! and this must be the husband."

buck whirls to look at eddie, because—if eddie has a husband, this is the first he's hearing of it.

please, eddie's expression seems to say, desperate and cornered and a little hopeful. and buck's never been able to deny him anything.

he's always been quick on the uptake, and even if he wasn't, eddie's arm sliding around his waist would probably make the pieces slip into place. so he schools his features into his best approximation of what a husband probably looks like and turns to face the woman next to eddie.

she's bright and bubbly, the platonic ideal of a suburban california soccer mom. she holds out a hand, and buck grins as he shakes it. "that's me," he confirms.

"and are you mr diaz as well?" she asks, and buck breathes an internal sigh of relief when she doesn't add anything along the lines of i don't really know how it works with you people.

"buckley, actually," he tells her. "buck." then he drops his voice and leans in like he's sharing a secret. "makes it easier at work, you know, so our captain knows who he's talking to."

she laughs, and eddie squeezes his hip. "i've heard a lot about you," she says with a smile. then she inclines her head at eddie. "he won't shut up about you, actually."

buck grins. "is that so?" he asks, turning to look at eddie.

eddie rolls his eyes. "i talk about you a normal amount," he says. "don't go getting an ego about this."

the woman introduces herself as somebody's mother. next to him, eddie falls into an easy conversation about math homework and the upcoming science fair, but buck is only half-listening. he's mostly preoccupied by the fact that eddie, apparently, goes around telling people that they're married. which is definitely news to him.

he's also more than a little preoccupied by the warm weight of eddie's arm resting around his waist, and the casual way eddie's hand curls around his hip like it belongs there. before he can think better of it, buck leans further into eddie's embrace, and eddie adjusts his grip mid-sentence like this is something they do every day and not something out of buck's wildest daydreams.

eventually, the woman excuses herself to go and find some teacher or the other.

"husband, huh?" buck asks. "that's funny, i don't remember you proposing. or, you know, asking me out."

as he speaks, eddie detaches himself from buck. when buck turns to look, eddie is already wearing a guilty expression.

eddie sighs. "i was going to tell you," he says. "that's what i wanted to talk to you about before we came in."

"i mean, yeah, knowing ahead of time that i'm supposed to be acting like your husband would have made life a little easier," buck says. "also, uh, why am i supposed to be acting like your husband, again?"

eddie looks away, squirrely in the way buck knows he only gets when he's embarrassed. "there was a teacher a while back," he says. "she kept, uh, hitting on me? so i panicked and said i was married."

"okay, so, why me?" buck asks, and wonders if eddie can hear the unspoken question. why are you pretending to be married to a man? eddie's never given any indication that he's anything other than straight. it's the biggest reason buck has him firmly mentally labelled as never going to happen, buckley, you might as well stop dreaming about it.

it hasn't worked so far, but repetition is key.

"i guess christopher talks about you a lot," eddie says. "she asked if it was you, and it seemed easier to say yes than to invent some kind of fictional spouse that i'd have to remember details about."

"romantic," buck says, and eddie laughs and elbows him.

"shut up."

"so why didn't you just tell me?" buck asks.

"i was going to, if you'd been here when you said you would!"

"hey, it's not my fault the 146 didn't manage their pile-up scene properly and traffic backed up!" buck says. "besides, you could also have told me at any other point in time between now and—how long have you been telling people this?"

"uh... six months, give or take," eddie says. "that's why it was so important you come tonight—i've been making excuses for you at school events, but the other parents have started to question it and i don't want them thinking my imaginary husband is a shitty person."

"clearly you have better taste than that," buck agrees.

eddie sighs again, but it's good-natured. "god, i should have known you'd be insufferable about this."

"and yet you picked me anyway," buck beams. "so why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"i was worried you'd think it's weird," eddie says. "and i really needed you to be here."

"mm, being addressed as your husband out of the blue was definitely less weird," buck says.

"so it didn't go exactly to plan," eddie says. "thanks for just rolling with it, by the way."

"of course," buck says. "i've got your back, remember?"

"somehow, i don't think this is what either of us envisioned back in that hospital parking lot," eddie laughs.

and it's true—buck had envisioned doing a lot of things with eddie, back in those first few days before he'd realised he didn't have a chance, but fake marriage was never one of them.

"so is there anything specific you need me to do?" buck asks, in an effort to distract himself from thoughts of the things he did envision.

"just—sell it, i guess?" eddie says. "i'm pretty sure i've only told people things about you that are true anyway, so there's no elaborate cover story or anything."

"except that we're married," buck says.

"except that we're married," eddie agrees. "for—about a year now, i think i've said?"

"a year, okay," buck repeats. "cool, i'm on it." then he steps closer to eddie again and slips his hand into eddie's back pocket.

"buck," eddie hisses. "what are you doing?"

"selling it," buck replies.

"where? in high school in the year 1987?" eddie asks, but he relaxes into buck's side.

"hey, no judging," buck says. "maybe this is my signature move."

"i mean, you do you," eddie says. buck doesn't argue, because he doesn't want to have to tell eddie that he's mostly doing it because this might be the only opportunity he ever gets to touch eddie's ass.

it's only as they set off to meet with the first of christopher's teachers that buck realises he might have miscalculated. because now his hand is on eddie's ass, and he's suddenly hyperaware of even the smallest twitch of his fingers. how much of it can eddie feel? is eddie going to think he's trying to make a move if he accidentally flexes his fingers a little?

it's not that he doesn't want to make a move. it's just that he doesn't think that eddie would be very receptive to it.

except eddie turns out to be a very affectionate fake husband. if buck's hand isn't in eddie's pocket then eddie is holding it. when they sit side-by-side listening to teachers talk about how smart christopher is, eddie's foot is hooked around buck's ankle. in the hallway between meetings, eddie turns to drop a kiss on buck's cheek, and a shiver radiates through him.

buck doesn't know what to make of it. he's used to a certain amount of physical contact from eddie—shoulders brushing together as they walk next to each other, working together so seamlessly their limbs might as well be extensions of each other on calls—but this feels different. it's not just that the touches are different—there's an ease to eddie's actions that makes buck wonder for the first time in years if maybe his mental label for eddie isn't quite as accurate after all.

he doesn't know how else to explain the fact that eddie keeps touching him. it's more than enough to sell their ruse—bordering on excessive, even, especially for a middle school parent-teacher conference.

and buck isn't exactly innocent himself, either. he wonders if a year into a fictional marriage is too far to claim honeymoon period, because that's the closest he can come to describing the feeling—like now that he has permission to touch eddie, the dam has broken and he can't keep his hands off.

they're still holding hands when they spill out of the school doors and into the dark warmth of the september evening. eddie makes no move to let go, and so neither does buck.

buck's jeep is clear across the other side of the parking lot, but he follows eddie to his truck anyway. they reach the car, and eddie brushes his lips against the corner of buck's mouth, closer than he has all night. buck freezes.

eddie pulls back, horror clear across his face. "i'm sorry," he says. "i didn't—i just—i forgot. that we're not inside anymore."

there's just enough wistfulness in his voice that buck makes a split-second decision. he takes a step forwards and takes eddie's face in his hands, stands still for two heartbeats just in case he's reading everything extremely wrong and eddie wants to protest, and then he's kissing eddie.

eddie kisses the way he does everything else, with a steadiness that keeps buck tethered to reality and a quiet intensity that bubbles just under the surface. it's a combination that's uniquely eddie, one that makes buck feel like he could take on the world and win and like he's coming home.

"i don't want it to be just inside," buck says, just in case eddie didn't get the message. "i don't want it to be fake. i mean, it might be a little soon to get married, but—"

"someday, though," eddie says, and buck laughs.

"someday, yeah."

eddie grins at him. "in the meantime, do you want to come home with me tonight?"

"yeah, i really do."

send me a starter line from this list and i'll write a ficlet for it!

#i am so tired i hope this makes sense lmao #buddie #911fic #ask emma #emma writes #becominglionhearted #lol i was literally just saying the other day that i tend to default to eddie pov and here's my second buck pov in a row #oh well