#where my Phil enjoyers at

[icaruspendragon]

to be clear, none of these hurt my feelings (except the sheldon cooper one), they were just so funny they’ve stuck with me.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Not Like I'm in Love with You

Summary: For the longest time, it was you and Maria. A package duo. A dynamic team. Agent Hill and Gaia. But you were always just friends, nothing more. Until a mission goes wrong forces Maria to admit her feelings for you.

Warnings: jealously, angst with a happy ending, surgery, medically induced coma, bomb, eco terrorist?, reader is enhanced, mention of drinking and sexual activity, love confession

Word Count: 5.2k

“My savior,” Natasha groaned as you handed the redhead a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. She moaned, taking a sip of the coffee. “I could marry you right now.” You shook her head at her antics and passed the rest of the goodies to the team. Clint had his feet on the table and head thrown back, and a pair of sunglasses covered his eyes. He grunted out a thanks when he set his order down. The rest of the team was in different states of hungover, barely muttering a greeting. You chuckled.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone out on a school night,” you teased, sitting down at your desk so you could eat your own. Clint groaned.

“You aren’t my mom,” You felt like it.

“Where’s the boss?” You questioned.

“Probably untangling herself from the blonde she went home with,” May mumbled, holding a cold towel to her forehead. Why did your stomach drop when she said that? The team had the right to party after a job well done. The case had a breakthrough, and they wanted to go out. Like always, you refused, you weren’t much of a drinker, and you didn’t trust yourself drunk with your abilities. You were an Eco-empathy, allowing you to connect deeply with the environment and sense, understand, and manipulate the natural world. SHIELD nicknamed you Gaia, and your fellow agents called you various Earth-related names. You and Maria were just friends, right? When Fury picked her as Deputy Director, she prompted you alongside her. You were her second in command; while she went out in the field, you stayed behind to run point. It was how you two operated a well-oiled machine. Co-workers. Best friends at most. Like you’ve been, right? Natasha raised an eyebrow at you.

The door opened, and Maria walked in. “Ah, she emerges from her walk of shame,” Natasha teased. Maria flipped her off and thanked you with a smile for her breakfast.

“Ain’t nothing shameful what I did last night,” Natasha cringed. Thankfully, Maria’s back was to you, so she missed the frown on your face. The redhead saw it. “Alright,” she said. “What’s the plan?”

*

“You missed a hell of a party,” Maria said as you handed your mock battle plan for the upcoming mission. It would go through her than Fury before it was green lite; the more eyes, the better when it came to people’s lives.

“All these years you’ve known me, you know clubs aren’t my scene,” you sat on the edge of her desk. There was a picture of you and her during your SHIELD graduation. “Besides, how long were you there until an innocent woman fell under your spell?” You teased, but it didn’t feel enjoyable in your mouth.

“She wasn’t so innocent when I had my way with her,” you faked a gag. It was typical behavior between you two to talk about the woman you brought home; more times than not, Maria had the stories. But why did you feel like you could throw up right now?

“I can tell by that hickey on your neck,” you pushed the bruise, and she squatted your hand away. She was your ride-or-die. So you weren’t jealous.

“What is your schedule like today?” You sighed, looking at your nails on your left hand.

“Leading a training with May, a meeting with Phil, and I think Clint wants to go over some new trick arrows,” you rattled off. It was a typical busy day for you. Maria nodded.

“Do you want to go get lunch? We could go to that Mexican place you like.” That sounded nice, and you liked the burritos and mock tails they had. You sighed.

“How about a ring check? Nat asked if I could get lunch with her today,” Maria liked to joke that you made her soft. She rarely held up the mask to hide her emotions around you. There was no need. Now you saw the mask slowly creep up to hide her true feelings.

“Yeah, of course, she forced a smile. “Now get out of here before I write you up,” she teased. Rolling your eyes, you jumped off her desk.

“See you later, Ria.”

“Stay safe out there, Willow.” You rolled your eyes at the nickname but her office to start your day.

*

“You love her,” Natasha said as you took a bite of your sandwich. You choked on it, and the Black Widow smirked at your misfortune. You rubbed your chest to help the food pass and took a sip of water.

“I have no idea what the hell you are talking about,” she took a fry from your plate and popped it in her mouth.

“Please, Cherry, you’ve been in love with Maria since I’ve known you, and according to Phil, it’s been since the academy,” you gasped.

“Why is this office gossip?” You asked.

“We have to talk about something,” she shrugged. SHIELD agents were moths to a flame when it came to gossip. “Don’t worry, we won’t discuss it with Maria.” That was not reassuring.

“Look, Maria and I are friends. We have been forever; the way I feel is black and white.” You were curious to know if Natasha believed you. Hell, you barely believed yourself. It wasn’t like you stayed up at night overthinking the possibility of you and Maria has a couple. Nah, that would be dumb.

“Are you sure?” Yeah, it was fine. It was cool. It wasn’t like every time she talked about having sex with some random hookup at a bar, it made your stomach burn with jealousy because you wanted her body all to yourself. You wanted her more than anyone else. It’s not like you were in love with her.

“Shit,” you mumbled, slumping back into her hair. Natasha smiled, sipping on her chocolate milkshake.

“Glad you admitted it,” you hadn’t admitted anything. What was she talking about? “So, are you going to tell her?”

“No!” You shrieked, and you drew the attention of the other patrons. You felt your body warm up due to the extra eyes. Natasha chuckled. “God, no. I can’t. It will ruin everything. Besides, I doubt she feels the same.”

“She does.” The Black Widow glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Shit, we have to get back.” It was supposed to be a quick lunch because Fury called for an emergency meeting. You nodded, throwing your half-eaten food in the bag to take with you. “You know,” Natasha held open the door for you as you walked onto the busy DC sidewalks. “You should tell her. You both could be happy.” She said it as if it was easy and not scary. It’s not like you were losing your mind thinking about her in your bed. It started slow, but like dominoes, you started free-falling with no control. You were doing a shit job at hiding it if your friends knew the truth. It’s not like you were in love with her.

*

“I’m going on this mission,” you said, a little surprised.

“Yes,” Fury said, his arms behind his back and one good eye trained on you. “Your skill set is what this mission needs. Is that a problem?”

“No sir,” you said without hesitation. You kept up to date on your physical and firearm certification, and you met with SHIELD’s psychologist. You were always mission-ready when the time called for it, but it never did. You glanced at Maria, who was oddly quiet. Her face was in a permanent frown. But you couldn’t worry about her now; you had a mission to lead.

*

Maria found you in the locker room, tackle suit around your waist, and you were holding your dad’s dog tags in your hand. It was your good luck charm. “Want me to put it on you?” She asked. You nodded, handing her the necklace. Carefully, she placed the chain around your neck and locked it. The cold metal caused goosebumps to cover your shin. “I don’t like you going on this mission without me.” She admitted and sat down next to you on the bench. You chuckled.

“You’ll be watching my back,” you looked over your shoulder. “No, you’ll know how I feel every time you run off into danger.” You tried to make light of the situation, but there was a frown on your face. “Here,” you removed the necklace and placed it around her.

“What are you doing?” She asked. “You never go anywhere without it.”

“I don’t need it,” you said. “I got you watching my back. That’s all the luck I need.” Maria was quiet. It was unsettling for her to be quiet. “Ria, we got this. I get this. I’ve learned from the best, so I’ll be the best.” She laughed, and you were glad you could pull a sound out of her.

“Just-”

“Clover,” May walked in and cut Maria off. “We are all set, just waiting for you.” You told me you’d be there in 5 and turned your attention back to Maria.

“Just stay safe out there, Willow.” You wondered what she was going to say if she wasn’t interrupted.

“I’ll see you later, Ria,” you smiled. “Promise.”

*

You learned to listen to your gut instinct. It was your most valued tool as an agent. Even when you ran point back at headquarters, you listened to it when your stomach tightened with anxiety as you sat in the wooded area that surrounded the factory. This factory was responsible for releasing toxins into the air. Usually, this type of case wouldn’t gather attention from SHIELD, but the damage they were doing to the environment was affecting the locals: memory loss, muscle spasms, and strange hallucinations. The problem was that it was impossible to locate the idiots responsible for the mess. You could feel the environment dying in this area. May place a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay? She asked. You nodded, unable to open your mouth. You let out a few shaky breaths, trying to loosen the anxiety knot in your stomach, and tapped on the com in your ear.

“How are we looking?” You asked.

“They are about to make the guard change,” hearing Maria’s voice helped calm you down. “Are you doing okay, Willow? Your heart monitor is spiking.” You rolled your eyes and bit back a huff of annoyance. It was Phil’s idea to add pulse and heart detectors into the suit.

“Yeah, they’ve caused a lot of damage to this area. It’s making me all jittery,” you admitted.

“We’ll stop them,” this time it was Natasha’s voice through the coms. The Black Widow was recovering from a shoulder injury that left her benched until it was healed. You lead the team with Clint, May, and a handful of qualified agents.

“Shift change is in 3,” you put on your gas mask. “2 and 1. Stay safe, agents.” That feeling remained in the pit of your stomach. Anxiety, dread. You needed to figure out why. You moved through the building with ease and worked towards the control room. It was your, May’s, and two other agents’ job to turn off the factory while Clint protected the outside in case the alarm was tripped.

“We made it to the control room,” May said.

“Perfect, insert the flash drive. It should take 5 minutes to shut down the factory and copy the information they have on it.” Maria explained. May pushed the rolling chair out of the way.

“Go stand guard,” you ordered the other two agents. They obeyed and went into the hallway. The mission was almost over, so why were you so anxious? When May inserted the flash drive, an alarm went off, and metal walls trapped May and you inside the room.

“Houston,” your friend said. “We have a problem.” The room began to shake as a trap door opened, and a bomb rose from the floor. The red numbers clicked down from 10 minutes.

“Houston,” you repeated, and you took off the gas mask. “We have a bigger problem.”

“Turn on your cameras,” you turned on your body camera and heard the sharp intake of Maria’s breath.

“Guys, we have multiple heat signatures heading towards the factory,” Phil said. You walked over to the bomb, staring at the mysterious liquid.

“Barton, pull back. Gather all agents to the secondary position,” you pulled your hand back, clutching your hand against your chest—a fertilizer bomb.

“Willow, what is it?” Maria asked. You glanced at May; you knew she saw the panic in your eyes.

“It’s a fertilizer bomb,” you admitted. “Big enough to take out the factory and the surrounding bomb.”

“Fucking hell,” you heard Natasha mumble.

“May-”

“Already on it,” she cut off Maria as she rapidly typed at the control panel, trying to disarm the bomb.

“All agents have made it to the secondary location. Just need you two.” Yeah, that was going to be a problem. The sound of your team frantically discussing how to disarm the bomb became white noise. You walked the room length, gliding your hand over the metal wall. To your surprise, you felt pieces of earth within the metal sheets. Of course! All you had to do was focus on the impurities within the metal. You let out a shaky breath and concentrated. The metal moved underneath your palm.

“I have an idea,” you said suddenly.

“Am I going to like this idea?” Maria questioned. Probably not. You took your normal stance, feet shoulder length apart and knees bent slightly. You put your hands together, and then your palms faced the metal walls. Slowly, you began miming as if trying to rip something apart. At first, nothing happened. Beads of sweat trickled down your neck. Finally, the metal started to crumble and pull apart. A small doorway appeared. You fell to one knee, chest heaving. May ran to your side.

“That was wild,” she said. “I don’t know you could do that.” You chuckled as she helped you to your feet.

“Neither did I.”

“Nice work. No, get out of there,” Maria said. You quickly turned off your body camera and your and May’s com.

“You’re staying, aren’t you?” She asked.

“I think I can contain the blast.”

“You think?” It wasn’t an exact science, and you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to contain it.

“Go,” you told her. You had to try. If not, so many people would die, including your team. Your friend hesitated but took off towards the exit. You faced the bomb and turned on your com again. There were four and a half minutes left.

“Why aren’t you leaving with May?” Maria questioned. You took a shaky breath and retook your stance. “Willow, it’s just me and you. What are you doing?”

“I gotta try, Ria,” your voice strained with exhaustion, arms shook at each metal wall you bent around the bomb. “If I don’t, hundreds if not thousands of people are gonna die.” You said. It was your responsibility to get your team home and protect the innocents in the area. Maria whispered your name. It was so rare that someone said your real name it took you by surprise. The bomb was fully wrapped in metal, but you were exhausted already. “You got my lucky charm, right?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I got it.”

“Good, good,” you mumbled, digging your feet into the metal floor. “I’ll see you later, Ria. I promised, didn’t I?” There was so much more you wanted to say. A three-word sentence danced on your lips, but you held it back. It wasn’t fair to her to say it now. Each nerve in your body was vibrating. Every breath you took burned. You sent a silent prayer to your father as the explosion rocked your body. You held the metal to contain it. A scream left your lips as it became too much, and your world went black.

*

Maria knew she had this aura that surrounded her. An aura that screamed authority. It told newer agents not to fuck with her. She knew she was good at what she did and wanted everyone to know that. As she walked to the med bay with Natasha close by, she was murderous. Rationally, she knew it was no one’s fault. It was par for the course when it came to this line of work, but she needed someone to blame and push guilt onto someone. May was resting in a chair with an ice pack on her head. She looked up when she heard the approaching footsteps. “She’s still in surgery,” she mumbled, and Natasha sat beside her. “Doctors are worried about the amount of blood she lost and the toxins that entered her lungs.” A heat of anger washed over Maria, but she tried to push it down.

“May, go shower and eat,” Maria ordered. Her voice strained. She saw the protest form in the agent’s eyes. “That’s an order.” You risked your life to save her and the rest of your team. It would do no one good if May stopped taking care of herself. “That’s an order.” May sighed.

“Yes, Hill.” She stood up and left. Maria took a seat in her spot, elbows resting on her knees.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Natasha asked. Maria refused to look away from the wall she was staring at.

“I need her to be okay,” Maria admitted.

“Is this why you wrote her out of every mission?” The Black Widow questioned. Maria slowly leaned back and looked at the redhead. “Come on, Hill, it was obvious. With her on the field, missions would be over in half the time, but you didn’t want to risk her getting hurt.” Maria remained silent. “Now, why would you do that?” Her eyes locked onto Natasha’s green ones; there was no judgment like she had expected to see. “We do crazy things for the people we love.”

“I-” Maria let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know, Nat.” She whispered. “I just need her to be okay.”

“She will be,” the Black Widow smiled. “She’s strong.” Of course, Maria knew you were strong. She’s seen you at your lowest point when your father passed away, but you pulled yourself out of it. Your screams right before you collapsed were repeating inside her head. It was like a bad song stuck in there. The only thing that gave her hope was the steady beat of your heart monitors within your suit. You were alive, barely but alive.

“Deputy Director Hill,” her name said, but the approaching doctor caused her to stand up.

“How she is?” She asked.

“Stable,” the doctor said. “The next 24 hours are critical. I must admit she has a few guardian angels looking out for her. There was a major piece of metal in her stomach and left thigh. She also had small pieces in her arm. We think she hit her head due to a cut on the back of her head.”

“May said you were worried about her lungs,” Natasha said. The doctor nodded.

“She inhaled a great deal of the fertilizer before she was found, so we are worried about the lasting effects.” She explained.

“Can-can I see her?” Maria asked.

“Of course, we’ve placed her in a medically induced coma to allow her body to heal.” She faintly heard Natasha say she would inform Clint and the others of your condition. Maria wasn’t sure if the doctor was talking about your prognosis, but soon she was alone.

The only noise in the room was the steady sound of the machines connected to you. It seemed unreal that you were hurt. For the longest time, you seemed untouchable. Now, you were bedridden and too pale for Maria’s liking. She took your father’s dog tags off her neck and opened your hand to put the chain in it. “Lucky charm is back where it belongs.” She formed your hands into a tight fist and placed it on your heart. “Come back to me,” she whispered, kissing your forehead. “Please.”

*

There was a heaviness that surrounded you. It started at your chest and then moved to your limbs. The pressure was suffocating. Catastrophic. Slowly, you opened your eyes to the bright light of med bay. You felt metal in your hand and opened your palm to see the dog tags you gave Maria. “You’re awake,” you turned to see Natasha. A deck of cards in your hands and glanced down at your chest. You interrupted a game of war.

“Why are you using me as a table?” You deadpanned. Natasha shrugged.

“Had to kill time as we waited for your dumbass to wake up,” you rolled your eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a semi-truck,” you groaned and sat up slowly. The door opened to the bathroom, and Clint walked out.

“Shit,” you said. “You’re alive.” You scuffed, rubbing the bandages on your chest.

“I’m glad you had so much confidence in me, bird man,” Clint took a seat across from Natasha. “The team is okay, right? They all made it out.”

“Yeah, you saved their lives,” Natasha said. “Maria is pissed at you.” You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I’ll deal with her later.” You closed your eyes. Now that you were a little more awake, you could take a better inventory of your body. Every small breath you took caused your chest to burn; it felt like a fire was starting. You sighed, wincing slightly, and turned to look at Natasha. “How bad?” The Black Widow sighed.

“There is potential damage to your lungs due to the fertilizer, and you had a metal that they had to remove from your stomach and thigh.” Cool, you thought, real cool.

“Just think,” Clint started. “At least you are off breakfast duty for a while.” You laughed at his poor attempt to lighten the mood but hissed. “Shit, sorry. No laughing. Got it.” You waved him off that you were okay.

“I’ll go get the doctor. Don’t move.” Natasha said, standing up. You scuffed. Yeah, you would make a grand escape with a hole in your stomach.

“You had everyone worried,” Clint said once Natasha was gone. You remained quiet, lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t your intention to scare everyone. It was your job to protect your team and bring them home. So, you completed that part of the mission. It so happened you were hurt in the process.

It was night when you woke up again, and Maria was in Natasha’s seat. Her eyes were closed, but you knew she wasn’t asleep. Even in the dim light of the room, she looked exhausted. Bags were under her eyes, and her face looked pale. Natasha told you that you were in a medically induced coma for five days. Maria barely slept, had to be forced to eat, and left her office. “I know you aren’t asleep, Ria,” you whispered. Her eyes shot open. “You look like shit.”

“Says the girl with the hole in her stomach.” You smiled.

“They stitched it up all good. Besides, I had my lucky charm,” you picked up the dog tag around your neck. To your surprise, Maria took your hand in hers. Your body felt warm at the simple act. It wasn’t like you hadn’t held her hand before this moment felt more intimate. “Ria,” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

“I thought I lost you,” she admitted. “God, Willow, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Didn’t mean to,” you said. “I needed to save the team.” She shook her head.

“It was the right call to make, but,” Maria sighed, and you felt her take her hand away, but you held her tight, not wanting to let her go. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you promised.

With the surgery and injuries, your movement was limited. The most straightforward actions were impossible for you to do without pain shooting through your chest. It was deemed you would move in with someone until you fully recovered. Natasha was the first to offer but was quickly overruled by Maria. So you moved in with the Deputy Director, and it was strange. You needed help washing your hair, changing, and undressing yourself. You couldn’t understand the look in Maria’s eyes for every action you required assistance with. It wasn’t the first time you shared a living space with Maria, but now you walked on eggshells around each other. A part of you wanted to go back before the mission before everything felt complicated between you and your best friend.

The physical limitations weren’t the worst part of your recovery. It was the mental scars. Nightmares plagued your mind almost every night of that mission. It would change constantly. Sometimes, your team would die, or you would fail to save Maria. It was exhausting, waking up in a pool of sweat, your heart racing, and your lungs unable to get air into them. You wanted all to stop.

*

Maria was sitting at her dining room table, a bottle of whiskey opened, and she needed to work on a few case files. Her mind was a million miles away and not on her duties as Deputy Director. It wasn’t entirely her fault; a lot had happened over the past two weeks. Her best friend was almost killed; Natasha forced her to admit she was in love with said best friend, and she had to watch you piece yourself back together. It was exhausting, but she knew you would do it for her. This was how it had always been. You and Maria. Agent Hill and Gaia. A package duo that never crossed the line as friends. So Maria filled the void that was missing with one-night stands and drunken sex that meant nothing to her. All she wanted, needed, and craved was you. She could not risk the friendship; it was the most important thing in her life.

Small whimpers from your room pulled her out of her thoughts. Standing quickly, she made her way to the guest room. She carefully opened the door. You lay on the bed, mumbling something Maria couldn’t quite understand. On socked feet, she walked over to the bed and sat at the foot. “No,” you mumbled. “Take me. Not her. Please.” Maria’s heart broke.

“Sweetheart,” Maria whispered. “Wake up. Come on.”

“Maria,” you mumbled, thrashing slightly. “Maria, please, I’m sorry.”

“It’s just a nightmare. Wake up. Wake up.” You woke with a start, chest heaving and eyes frantically looking around.

“Ria,” you forced out. There was a thin layer of sweat on your body.

“It’s okay—you’re safe. I’m safe. Breath,” she gently touched the back of your neck and brought your forehead against hers. Your eyes closed as you took a few deep breaths in and out. Finally, you pulled away, and Maria hated to admit she missed you being close. You slumped back on the bed, arm across your face.

“Thanks,” you whispered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked. She was curious to know if you heard her. With your other hand, you grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“I’m scared,” you said. Your voice shook at every spoken word. “I feel broken and weak and-” You aggressively rubbed your eyes as tears filled them.

“You are not broken,” Maria said. “You are healing. In time, you will return to your old self that I-” Maria cut herself off. You removed your hand from your face and slowly sat up.

“You what?” You asked, crossed your legs, and tried to cover the grimace of pain that crossed your face, but you moved closer to her. “Come on, Ria, tell me,” she was looking at every decoration in the room so she wouldn’t have to look at you. Finally, you used your index finger to tilt her chin to look back at you. “Finish your sentence,” you wore a smile on your face. It was a smile that Maria learned to look for in a crowd, in a meeting, or on a video call while on a mission. Your smile filled her with a sense of peace. It warmed her body and made her feel at home.

“That I fell in love with,” Maria softly spoke as she finished her sentence. You made a surprise sound that originated in the back of your throat, but you recovered quickly.

“You love me, Maria Hill?” the agent huffed a laugh, shaking her head.

“Shut up,” she mumbled. “If you are going to make fun of me, get it over with.”

“I’d never make fun of you, not about this, at least.” You added with a smirk because you have made fun of her about other things. “Can I kiss you?” You asked, inching closer until Maria felt your breath mingling with hers.

“Please,” you connected your lips with hers. Maria hated how often she thought about this moment. She would go to her grave before admitting out loud how many times she had to bite her lip during sex to stop herself from moaning your name. Fair too soon for her liking, you pulled away and rested your head on her shoulder.

“Why have we waited so long to do that?” Maria chuckled. “Will you stay?”

“Always,” the open bottle of whiskey and mission reports could wait another day.

*

When you woke up the following day, you are disappointed to find an empty bed. Maria’s side was cold, but you heard a commotion in the kitchen. Carefully, you stood up. The mornings were always rough due to being in the same position for so long. You slowly made your way out of the room and into the kitchen. Maria was at the stove, her back to you, and you walked over to her. Your arms wrapped around her waist, and you buried her head in her shoulder. Her body tensed up but soon relaxed in your arms. “Morning,” you mumbled.

“Morning. Breakfast is almost done. Why don’t you go sit down?” You shook your head.

“Your arm,” you said, kissing the skin you could reach. You were happy with the goosebumps that formed on her skin. Her body shook with laughter.

“Go sit. I’ll get your medicine, too.” You pouted, walked over to the couch, and pulled a blanket over your lap. It wasn’t long before Maria joined on the sofa with two plates of food.

“I can help you know,” she said with a smile. She brought back two mugs of coffee and water with your medication. You kissed her cheek as your thanks and took the three white pills with water.

“I should probably say this,” you bite into the eggs. “I love you too,” she smirked.

“I would hope so, or this entire thing would be incredibly awkward,” she teased. You rolled your eyes and pumped your shoulder against hers.

“You are a dork,” you smiled.

“I’m your dork,” that was also true. Oh, how you liked that sound.

“Mine,” you mumbled, kissing her. “And I’m yours.”

#maria hill x reader #maria hill x you #maria hill

[its-time-to-write]

Omg I'm loving your response to my prompts!! thank you

I have a few ideas (You don't have to do them all) just throwing them out there to see what sparks ideas!!

I love secret admirer stories (I know its no where close to valentines day but still) maybe Reader is Rebecca's assistant and keeps getting gifts leading up to valentines day but she is pretty sure its like Sam or Isaac and tells friend Jaime (even though its really him) then the day of the grand finale and she comes to the lovely surprise of it being Jaime!

also if you could include Scarlett red roses in it for me (They are my favorite flower and the only flower I'm not allergic to)

So. I liked this one. Maybe too much? It might be the longest one I’ve written so far, so, uh, sorry about that. But I liked it a lot. It might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy. also the gif isn’t Jamie Tartt but it is Phil Dunster so hopefully that’s ok

honey, i’ll give you all my time

Good god, it’s February all ready. You have a love-hate relationship with the month; love, because Galentine’s Day and hate because Valentine’s Day. You and your friends would go out on February 15th to get discount chocolate from the shops, then return home for an ungodly amount of takeout and a movie. On the whole, you all preferred action movies with a good romance. 

You’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it’s when your boyfriend of two years held your hands in his, and told you he wanted to break up. 

That was a year ago. You’re mostly angry that he’s a dark stain on one of your favorite holidays. You’re absolutely determined not to let him ruin your enjoyment. 

This is also the first year you’re not with your friends. You moved away last March because you realized your ex had been holding you back in far too many ways. 

So. To recap. 

You’re alone. You love Valentine’s Day, despite it forever being the day of your breakup. Your friends aren’t here. You have new friends. There is no one to go to the shops with on the 15th. But discount chocolate is still discount chocolate. 

Your current job is as a personal assistant, something you excel at. You basically anticipate needs, meet them, and just generally make your employer’s life a whole lot easier. The application said the job required a lot of travel, but all expenses (minus some food) were covered. 

You were shocked when you got an interview, then a second, then a third, then were hired. 

Your boss is a woman named Rebecca Welton, and you’re half in love with her, but who isn’t, really?

You swear you’ve never been in such a healthy work environment. You mention it one day, early on, and she says it’s all thanks to their head coach, someone named Ted. 

You meet him for the first time later that day, and you understand. 

It’s impossible not to love him, because he has vision. He knows what he wants from his team, and he knows how to get it. 

He believes the team extends far beyond the players. 

He believes it extends to you, too. 

Ted and Coach Beard steal you from Rebecca as often as they can, claiming emergencies such as “a toxic amount of testosterone from all these boys,” “life-threatening boredom,” and last but not least, “there’s a new pun Ted absolutely needs to test right now and he won’t take no for an answer.”

(You like to give Ted honest feedback on his puns.) 

You also find yourself in their office when Rebecca is out for lunch, eating your respective sandwiches and swapping life stories. 

They remind you a lot of your parents.

It’s mid-June when you mention the Valentine’s Day story. 

It doesn’t hurt as much when it’s punctuated by Ted’s “he didn’ts” and Beard’s perfectly-timed gasps. 

You find yourself laughing halfway through, unable to stop. 

“And anyway,” you finish, cheeks painful from smiling so hard, “that’s why romantic love is a joke and I am drowning myself in platonic love forever.”

Ted and Beard share a look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Beard says. 

You shoot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Well sweetheart,” Ted says, “between the two of us collectively,” here points between him and Beard, “we know of at least three of the boys on the team who are madly in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp, “How did you- where did you- who??”

Ted zips his lips and Beard tips a finger to him. “We know of five if we count Rebecca’s intel.”

You’re sitting cross-legged on the edge of Beard’s desk, in shock. “Rebecca knows about this??”

Ted and Beard shrug in unison. “We all have our opinions on which one should shoot their shot, but that’s neither here nor there,” Ted says. 

“Coincidentally, it’s the one thing we unanimously agree on,” Beard nods. 

You’re cut off from saying anything by the door opening. One of the players stands in the doorway. 

“Excuse me, coach,” he says, accent thick. 

Ted motions in a you have the floor type of way, and the footballer turns to address you of all people. “We’re all goin’ out tonight, and Keeley sent me to invite the new girl. None of the lads have really met you yet, just seen you ‘round. Thought it might be good for team bonding, or something. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. “I guess- yeah, I guess I haven’t really met them. I mean, I see you guys around and stuff and I’m at your games, but I don’t really know you. Are you sure you want me to come?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach is always on us about bein’ a team or some shit. And, havin’ a girl around makes the lads look good.”

You think that makes sense, and then find yourself agreeing to go out that night with a group of footballers you don’t know, and (thank god) Keeley Jones. 

You’re going to figure out which five before the summer’s over. 

—

You have nice time out with the lads. They go to a bar and cram into separate booths. You’re wedged in between two who have introduced themselves as Isaac and Dani, and across from Sam, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas. Roy, Richard, and a few others you don’t know are milling about, and you see Jamie and Keeley at a table, surrounding by giggling girls. The sight is so absurd that you catch yourself smiling and turning back to whatever conspiracy Bumbercatch is telling you about now. 

—

You put Sam at the top of your list as soon as you get home. The man wears his heart on his sleeve, or maybe in his eyes, but you’re positive that he’s one of the five Ted and Beard referred to. One down, four to go. 

— 

It’s the end of July, and you begin to become friends with the team. You know for an absolute fact who is not interested in you, Jamie being one of them. Coincidentally, he’s the one you become closest to. You think it’s because you’re not worrying about sending mixed signals or leading him on. You dropped public hints about not really looking for anything romantic, just to be sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

As it is, Jan Maas and Dani have made the list. Jan Maas, because he stifled his Dutch bluntness for you and Dani, because he openly declared he was madly in love with you in front of the whole team. 

—

Isaac makes the list in December. It had been in between him and Bumbercatch, but Isaac was the one who walked you to your car every night and the first one to say hello to you every morning. 

You’re not gonna lie, it was cute. 

You shared some of this with Ted and Beard, who remained impressively stone-faced. Rebecca proved to be equally impervious.

You shared all of it with your lunch-buddy-turned-work-bestie, Jamie. 

You ate with him because Rebecca was constantly in lunch meetings these days, and Ted, Beard, and Roy were always revamping their football strategies.

Jamie would plop down at your table and say, “What’s the news, Amy Hughes?” in his perfect Mancunian accent, and then listen/add commentary to whatever you had to say. 

You explained to him that the reason you wanted to know who liked you was so that you could be extra careful with their hearts. You knew what it was like to be led on, and you did NOT want to do that to someone else. 

Jamie nodded thoughtfully at that and then said, “We’re all footballers though, ain’t we? We get the shit end of the stick all the time, hearts broke by models and whatever. Even ends up in the fucking press. Everyone here’s has their heart broken before, and we all know you aren’t doing it on purpose.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s short end of the stick, Jamie.”

And thus begins your lunch hour of bickering. 

—

No one has made a move on you yet, and you don’t have a read on number five. You still think it may be Bumbercatch, but in reality, it slips from your mind. Sam’s moved on, Jan Maas has accepted defeat, Dani swears he will love you until the day he dies, and Isaac stays, well, Isaac. Still sweet. Still walking you to your car, coming round extra early in the morning with a coffee or a water, depending on which “looked less like shit.”

Really though, you don’t think about it until February first, when you walk into your office to a small box on your desk. 

At first, you think it’s a box of Ted’s biscuits. 

Then, you notice a small, scarlet-red rose taped to the top. There’s no note, and all that’s inside is a tiny paper heart. 

It’s folded with extreme care, and you place it on your shelf, smelling the rose. It smells amazing and you make a mental note to figure out where the heck it came from. But for now, it’s time to work. 

—

You don’t mention the gifts until February third, because now there’s been one a day. Each one with a scarlet red rose, and a different gift. Yesterday was an incredibly expensive bar of chocolate (it was life-changing) and today is a tiny gold bracelet.

It’s a simple enough chain, but it is absolutely breathtaking. There is no mistaking the fact that it is not cheap, so you take it and march straight to Rebecca’s office.  

“Rebecca,” you say, hands outstretched, “look.”

She does, smiles, then says, “It appears you have a secret admirer.”

“But I don’t want that!” you cry. “I don’t even have time for that! I don’t even like anybody right now!”

She peers at you over her glasses. “Don’t you?”

The sheer weight of those words is enough to physically knock you back two steps. 

You don’t, you swear you don’t, you’re absolutely sure. 

What about Vienna? a voice in the very back of your head nags.

You reply, out loud, “We don’t talk about Vienna,” and Rebecca just shrugs. 

“Have it your way,” she replies in a tone that means this conversation is over, but you’re the one ending it.

You turn on your heel and find yourself taking the route to Ted and Beard. 

You burst into their office in such a flurry that the entire room turns to look at you. “Close the door,” you say with such urgency, that Trent hurries to comply. Beard even shuts the blinds. 

“What’s on your mind, Ollie Cline?” Ted asks. 

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand. You point to Roy. “Do you want to be here? It involves feelings.”

“Fuck no,” says Roy, “thanks for being fucking considerate.” He follows it up with a pointed glare at Ted, then goes into his office and firmly shuts the door. 

“Can he be here?” Ted asks, tilting his head toward Trent. 

“I don’t care, he’s probably a good one to have around for this because look!” You present the three collected roses and the bracelet. 

“Someone’s started leaving me gifts, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Valentine’s thing because of the roses, and it was fine for the first two days but this is expensive, and I can’t accept this!”

Ted and Beard share a look. You hate it when they do that and leave you out. 

Ted sighs. “Listen, do you think this about Vienna?”

You fix him with a glare. “No. We are not talking about Vienna ever again.”

Trent pipes up, “What’s Vienna?” and you wheel around on him, taking your glare with you. 

“Vienna," you spit, like it’s poisonous, “is a terrible, awful place where people think terrible, awful things. I never want to talk about it again and I never will.”

Trent nods. “Noted.” 

You turn back to Ted and Beard, pleadingly. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

Beard gets up and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Kid, if you want my advice, take the damn roses and wear the damn bracelet. These boys make more money than they know how to spend, so just let it go. They all know how you feel about dating, so if someone’s shooting their shot, they know the stakes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let it go.” 

—

You decide to tell Jamie on day five, because it’s a Friday and you’re dying to get his take. You tell him everything, show him the roses in your office (hanging upside down to dry), and then hand him the notebook that was in today’s box. 

“Jamie,” you say, “this is an expensive notebook. There was a typed note inside that said, ‘for your drawings.’ How did this person even know I like drawing? I never talk about it!”

Jamie looks at you and laughs a little. You’re very flustered for something most people would enjoy. “Dunno, love, but we’ve all seen the sticky notes you leave Coach. That might be it.”

You groan and flop down into your chair. 

“At least tomorrow’s the weekend,” you say.

—

Jamie’s phone dings at 9:00am on Saturday with a text from you that says, what the actual heck and a picture of a brown bag at your doorstep. Inside is a plastic box of your favorite lemon muffin from a local bakery. He emphasized the image, then waits for your response. 

It was still warm, you write. It was someone who knows where I live and knows what time I leave to get breakfast.

Jamie grins and sends you a shrugging emoji, and you respond with an eye roll and a you’re no fun.

Jamie reads that and privately disagrees. He thinks he’s lots of fun

—

You’re pretty sure it’s Isaac. After all, he’s the only likely candidate. He’s one of the few who knows where you live and knows your routine. Not in a creepy way, in a we’re-good-friends type of way. You bring this up to Jamie, after personally banning all talk of this with Ted, Beard, and Rebecca. Stupid Vienna. You should never have told them. 

Jamie shrugs for the millionth, infuriating time. He’s been noncommittal this whole time. You’re over here pouring out your heart and soul, considering whether you like Isaac romantically or not, and all he can say is, “I dunno?” 

This is not the Jamie Tartt you’ve become best friends with. 

That Jamie would be down to hunt this secret admirer with you. That Jamie would be helping you figure out if Isaac had a chance with you. That Jamie would be way more engaged than the one sitting in front of you right now. 

But, you suppose maybe that Jamie died in Vienna, so you stop bringing it up.

—

It’s day ten. Valentine’s Day is in four day, and you’re nervous. 

You’ve decided you don’t like Isaac like that, mainly because it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you like anyone. There has to be an initial spark, and you shouldn’t try to manufacture it. 

Still, you’re not sure it is Isaac, so you’re not going to say anything about it. The scarlet red roses hang on your office wall, permeating the room with their scent. 

You feel like you’re dying. 

This is a cruel joke and you’re dying. 

The building is basically empty right now. Rebecca and Higgins have some meeting, the team is on the pitch (including Will) and various other staff are somewhere far away from you. So, you jump a little when Trent Crimm comes tripping into your office. 

“Vienna,” he says, no greeting. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you wouldn’t have told anyone. I’m assuming you do want to talk about it, but you don’t want judgement from the people you love. I’m here to offer my services as a neutral party.”

You look at him. “Trent. You are a journalist. Your whole job is writing down people’s secrets. Why on earth would I talk to you about the worst day of my life?”

Trent shrugs. “I’m good at keeping secrets. This would be off the record. I’ve never lied to people about off the record, also. I consider it bad journalism.”

You consider this for a moment, then sigh. 

“Alright,” you concede. “At least if this gets out, I know whose head I’m shaving in retaliation.”

Trent looks at you in surprise, seeing you in a whole new, slightly threatening light.

“It happened two months ago. It was around Christmas, and I didn’t have anywhere to go…”

—

Your family all had their own separate plans that Christmas. Plans that didn’t really involve you. Same with your friends. You said something casually to Rebecca, and the next day she told you she had booked you a trip to Vienna. Call it an early Christmas present, she said. It was at the Aumaris Vienna, and it was gorgeous and ridiculously out of your budget, but she said you worked hard and gave her peace-of-mind, and you can’t really put a price on that, can you?

So you went. 

But here’s the thing. 

Someone else didn’t have Christmas plans. 

So when you brought up your trip at your daily lunch, said someone else casually asked, can I come? 

You almost choked on your sandwich. 

Because here’s the other thing.

You were, maybe, kind of, possibly just a little bit head over heels in love with this someone else.

You’re not sure when it happened, really, just that it was probably in August and that it was soul-crushing because you knew for an absolute fact that he did not, and never would, feel the same way. 

You didn’t tell anyone except Keeley, but under the condition that she just let you say it and that she never, ever give you a response to it. Just listen. 

She did, but you were pretty sure she almost combusted. 

But who are you to say no when Jamie Tartt invited himself on your luxurious Christmas vacation saying, I’ll pay extra to get a plane ticket next to you? 

You were doomed from the start. 

To make matters totally and impossibly worse, he couldn’t find another room. 

He had his tickets, but the hotels, he said, were packed. 

It was Christmas, after all. 

So that’s how you ended up in a luxury hotel with Jamie Tartt for a week and a half, one day of which was Christmas. 

You know the, “there was only one bed” trope that everyone thinks is so cute?

It was that, but only if you add deep, shattering heartbreak to it. 

Because every night, you had to listen to Jamie say, “goodnight, love,” and then get into that giant, soft bed as far away from him as you could manage. 

Every morning you woke up to the pillow barricade long gone, one of his arms thrown around you. Or one of your legs on top of his. Or a million different scenarios where you end up literally asleep together, some weird gravity pulling you to each other. 

You were falling so hard and so fast, that you felt like the air was knocked from your lungs when Jamie started talking about the girl he liked. 

“She’s just so fucking beautiful,” he’d say, staring at an Alpine mountain. Or, “Swear she’s the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met,” while traipsing through the city. Or, “Pretty sure she’s ruined me for everyone else,” while getting facials at the hotel spa. 

To be fair, you were the one who teased him into admitting he liked someone. 

You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. 

The entire trip felt like heaven and hell had simultaneously converged on you, and you never wanted to leave but also desperately counted the days till it was over. 

You came back and broke down in Rebecca’s office. Ted and Beard were there. The whole thing came spilling out, about how you loved the trip so much it felt like your heart would explode but that Jamie loved someone else. 

They all exchanged looks amongst themselves and did their best to comfort you. 

You pulled yourself together and they promised never to say anything to anyone. 

—

“So that’s Vienna,” you finish. 

Trent is just staring at you, mouth slightly agape. 

He finally says, “My god, that’s fucked,” with such emotion that you decide right then and there that you like Trent Crimm and his rainbow mug. 

Now, you just shrug. “I did it to myself, honestly. That’s why I’m tripping out about this secret admirer thing. And god, Trent, the roses. They’re so beautiful and it’s so romantic, and whoever it is obviously knows me well so there’s a part of me that wants to like this person, but…” you trail off. 

“But there’s a part of you that’s hoping against hope that Jamie’s behind it all,” Trent finishes. 

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Trent looks at the roses, then at you. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie,” he says, gently. 

You reply with a forceful, “No,” and then follow up with a small, “That’s what Ted and Rebecca say, too.” 

Trent stands up, shrugs, says with a small smile, “Just a thought,” then he’s out the way he came. 

—

It is Valentine’s Day. And it’s a Sunday, which means you are legally required to stay in bed until 10, at which point you will get out only to make yourself decent enough to go buy a good cup of coffee and maybe (definitely) something to eat. 

You’ve just finished putting on your shoes, when there’s a knock at the door. 

You take a breath, and get ready to let down your secret admirer as gently as possible. 

You swing open the door to reveal- 

“Jamie! What are you doing here?”

Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep, hands behind his back, looking shyer than the day you first met. 

He opens his mouth and says the last thing you’d ever expect:

“D’you remember Vienna?”

Your heart, which had already been going fast because his dumb floppy hair was all dumb and floppy in his stupid, cute headband, is now working double time. You manage a nod. 

Jamie takes this as permission to continue. “D’you remember how I couldn’t get another room, no matter how hard I tried? That wasn’t true. I could’ve.” He pauses, and you wait for him to continue. 

“And d’you remember when we met, when I told you Keeley told me to invite you out? That was a lie too.”

You tilt your head, confused. He keeps going. 

“Look- I fucked it. I fucked it a million times and I told Ted and I told Beard, but they kept helping me un-fuck it and giving me chances, and then Rebecca bought two tickets to Vienna and slipped me the other one, and they all told me I had a perfect shot.” 

You’re still not understanding what he’s saying. He might as well be speaking another language. Jamie sees the confusion in your eyes, takes a breath, and tries again. 

“Keeley told me to invite you out, but only because I’d seen you around and thought you were fit. Then Isaac and all the lads thought the same thing, so I didn’t even get to fuckin’ sit with you. And then you started sayin’ things about not bein’ ready for a relationship, so I tried to let it go. I really fucking tried. But I just couldn’t. Your eyes are too sparkly and your laugh is too fucking cute and I couldn’t let it go, so I started eating lunch with you and you fucking let me. I knew the moment I said anything about liking you, it was over.”

Comprehension has started to dawn, but you push down hope until Jamie’s done speaking. 

“Everyone told me to shoot my shot in Vienna. We shared a bed, for fuck’s sake.” Here, Jamie looks bewildered. “But I dunno, I didn’t want to make shit weird. So when you asked if I liked anyone I said yeah, and started fuckin describing you, but you never fucking picked up on it. That’s when I got the idea to try one more time. All by meself, no help from anyone else. So…yeah.”

Jamie Tartt is standing on your porch confessing his love for you on Valentine’s Day and it is not a dream, because if it were your teeth would be falling out and his hair would probably be neon pink. 

“I’m an idiot,” you breathe. “You like me? Like, like-like me?”

Jamie quirks a smile at that. “Not quite, darling. Pretty fucking sure I love you.” He pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a bunch of scarlet red roses. The same from each gift. 

“Got these for you,” he says. “D’you know how hard it is to get red roses in February?”

You don’t answer him because you’re leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve thought about doing every day for what feels like forever. He’s kissing you back, hand with the flowers pressed against your back, other hand in your hair. 

“I love you too, Jamie,” you whisper against his mouth. He smiles and pulls you in again. 

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Well, ig it's time for me to talk about one of my favorite lores and streamers at this point.

Fit MC of 2B2T and his tragedy.

Honestly, when I watched the launch of QSMP I was full on Philza watcher. I never knew Fit before, but I was charmed by his voice, humor and friendship with crow father. And honestly I never even expected any lore from him, so when his first lore stream happened I was pleasantly surprised! So, I really want to express how much I love Fit's lore. It's not in your face and has a lot of subtle hints and build up. Honestly, it's not an essay but rather an expression of true admiration of masterful story telling in form of incoherent ramblings.

(I'll try to compose it, but I can't promise it'll always be coherent)

So let's start with quick review of his lore. FitMC of 2B2T is, evidently from the oldest anachy server. It's described as wasteland, where you can't trust or be trusted. Once he was approached by a person, whom Fit can't remember. It was a contractor who sent our favorite war criminal to the Qsmp with a mission to steal player data. Everything up from there is in vods.

Well, it is a great start, isn't it? At this point we have a very sad start. Practically no trust and emotional connection to anything. The eternal destruction, explosions, deaths and betrayals don't teach you anything different. So once he came to the server, I imagine, Fit didn't care about anything but mission. Player data and that's all, but right from the start this mindset started to change because of the greatest misfortunes of any mercenary or a 2b2t player. Emotional connection.

So now let me break this up into some sections.

Philza: you really thought I won't bring him up? As a greatest (platonic) Fitza/Wallflower duo enjoyer or just a Phil watcher, I couldn't leave him out of this post. I really think that Fit's learning started with crow father. From the start we know that they're at least are acquaintances. But throughout all this months they grew into something more. Philza's trust is hard to get, but if you get it this'll be worth it. Yet Fit got it. Throughout the good old days of Qsmp, when everything was easier, Fitza always were together. No matter was it a life threat or a camping trip with kids, they're with each other. Trusting to each other enough to letting each other in eggs' homes. And after feces hit the fan, it didn't change. A person, who was taught to never trust a soul and to survive no matter what, was standing there, saying "I'm with you, Phil" In the midst of attack. The trust between them is just incomprehensible. A paranoid hardcore survivor and a war criminal, with a lot of secrets and separetion anxiety, became best friends. If anything goes South for Phil, Fit'll be spying, controlling situation. If a wise crow ever starts loosing his sense of reality, this soaked in blood hand will lay on his shoulder, reassuringly. And it isn't one sided. If Fit needs anything Philza instantly passes him it ("You're too good to me"). Phil shares everything he can with Fit and even trusted the Dream to him. And Fit even had a small separation anxiety attack, just cuz Phil was gone for a few seconds. They are so close, Fit even considered letting in Phil on his purpose, Aaaaah... They're gonna be the death of me. Philza learned Fit friendship/ platonic love.

"You [Phil] and I [Fit].... We walk into churches and they burn just by our presence."

Ramon: the baby boy made in heaven by God himself. There's so much to be said here. Once again, coming into the island, Fit never expected to connect with someone, especially to have a son. After having a rocky relationship with Spreen was left one on one with a child. The absurdity of situation is just as laughable, as ironic. A man, who's hobby was killing kids with no back thought, was now stuck with a child, having no idea of how to raise him. And, honestly, he did pretty good! He gave Ramon freedom, but always was here, close enough to help if needed. Of course he wasn't the saint, yet he always tried to be as honest as he could, even letting him on the "Family secret". Ramon loves his dad, and it's obvious by how he helps Fit with his job, building him a communication with his contractor. The little one even taught this cold person to be kinder and more open. They only have each other. And Fit is ready to do anything if it means he'd get to leave with his baby boy by his side. Also I don't wanna hear a scrap about 2b2t historian not caring about his son's disappearance. He does. After behaving and distancing himself from his past antics, he decided to burn the ship, where Ramon lost his first life, just to avenge his baby. He visits his sons house every stream, looking if maybe he came back. If you want any prove of how much they care about each other search Ramon's graduation. They made each other better and their love is just aaahhh. I love them. Ramon taught Fit parental love.

"Baby boy, made in heaven, by God himself.."

PacTW: the last, but not least, Pacman himself. Oooh, love, oooh, lover boy.... Now, I haven't watched a lot of their interactions, but from all I've seen they're suuuuper in love/crush. All those little glances to each other, protection, quality time... Honestly, I think these two videos explain everything. They trust each other and at least have a crush on each other. And once again, there're a lot of small moments that prove this point. Fit having a small panic attack over not seeing pac for a few seconds and even helping to find Walter Bob and Mike. And Pac, no matter how much he loves Mike, didn't drop Fit after the latter was accused of being a traitor. Love is blooming, and even though it's "baby steps" These are still steps. It takes a lot to relearn trust and especially this kind of intimacy, when all you knew before was war, betrayal and lie. And thus Pac taught him love and trust.( I'm not big on shipping but every time hide duo hug my life gets a little better).

"Baby steps, chat. Baby steps. (Puts roses Pac gifted him)"

But, why did I call Fit and his fate tragic, and then just list all the good interactions Qsmp gave him. After all he experienced at 2b2t , this island seems like a heaven. But, Fit was, is, and forever will be stranger at the paradise (this man is way too good at presenting lore. Even music gives us soo much things to think about... I love it.). No matter how much Fit loves people around him and feels this being reciprocated, he'll never have this full closure. He knows and believes that once everyone knew his mission, they'll hate him. Even people I listed before. He'll never be fully honest with anyone (apart from Ramon), and no matter how people love him. Fit truly feels for Baghera, when she told him about her past and her fear of telling it to BBH. It is literally what he struggles with. This dialogue has a lot of good foils and parallels. The fear of their past, full trust/ forced lie, darkness/ light, and eventually positive outlook. Baghera was eventually able to trust Bad with her secret, yet Fit wasn't. But this paradise spoiled this war criminal. It made him more trusting, more social. Fit can't now be alone, cuz he connected with people. This server, though is full of secrets, lies and danger, is still a paradise. A heaven on earth for a lonely man...

So the last part of this long ahh post is about his desire. The one thing that convinced Fit to go to qsmp. Freedom. Which he doesn't have. By making this deal with Contractor he fell into the trap. He must to find this player data, or else he'll return to the world he tried to escape. For forever. With no way out. But once he came to the server, Cucurucho will never let him go. So he's now in double trap. Yet the biggest trap is Ramon. He's prepared to sacrifice everything for his baby boy, and can't leave the island without him. And without Ramon Fit wouldn't be able to contact the contractor. So in creating connections, Fit traps himself further.

I can't really call it a character analysis, but it's all I see in Fit's lore. A very lonely war criminal, that got so tired of distrust and destruction, that he agreed on a spy mission. But once his mission started he learned how to love and care, that he trapped himself further. Love isn't a miracle that saves you, but it's a very useful tool. Once you learn to understand and reciprocate it, life may become better. (Sorry, it's super cheesy, but I think it encompasses Fits character very good) .

Fit is a spy. They're not supposed to have a family and love, because they can't stay for long. And I think at first, Fit saw everything and everyone as just a means to an end. Just the player data. But after all that has passed he can't be the same. He has a son, friends and a possible love interest. Will he be able to still continue his mission? Will he still betray them and they're trust? I don't know.

But I now I love how cc! Fit does his lore. It isn't so in the face and doesn't affects other, yet it is so layered. Everything is so important down to the music choice aaaaagh. I don't even pretend to analyse everything in his lore like contractor, memory loss, head aches and ect.

I just love it. It's marvelous.

#qsmp #q fitmc #qsmp fitmc #fitmc #q philza #qsmp philza #philza #q pac #qsmp pac #pactw #qsmp ramón #qsmp ramon #qsmp rambles #qsmp analysis #qsmp character analysis #fitmc lore #this rabbit hole is so deep yet so interesting #btw i hope it's obvious that i talked about characters this whole post. apart from start and finish. #also sorry for ramblings and terrible English. #I've said it before and I'll say it again. English isn't my first language; sorry #hide duo #wallflowerduo #hideduo #fitza #qsmp baghera #q baghera

[solsays]

okay guys hello hi so a (more serious) post before we’re back to the sillies but like I’ve seen a bit of this in the QSMP community recently and I feel like it needs to be addressed

you’re free to dislike a creator/cc’s fanbase, but don’t lump them all together. Every fanbase has its different parts, and that means that not everybody is the same. I’ve seen this most with Wilbur and Phil mains, how people are like “oh you’re oblivious and don’t care to watch other streamers” or whatever it is, and often they get accused of summing characters/creators up to all they know them as through Phil or Wilbur or their relationships with other characters. This isn’t to say that doesn’t happen, but it’s not nearly as common as many seem to think!

This is coming from someone who has been watching Phil for going on four years now; we know more than you think, and often there are actual reasons for why we don’t watch other ccs. For me, it’s because I can rarely tune in when people are actually live thanks to school and work and such, so I take to watching vods and clips to keep caught up on the events. I am also not fully bilingual (English, and I speak partial Spanish but fast Spanish still confuses me sometimes) which makes it hard to watch people like the Brazilian or French players (I don’t speak either language) outside of clips where they’re playing with the English or Spanish speakers! As a result, my knowledge of many of them (Mike, Bagi, Antoine, etc) is pretty limited. I try my best to keep up with everyone on character stuff, but it can be hard if we’re busy. Another thing is that a large part of (especially) Phil’s fanbase are adults, who have families or college or work and they can’t always keep up with every minute detail or trait of characters, and I know this is true for many other cc’s fanbases as well.

of course, everybody is allowed to have their own opinions, and it’s okay if you aren’t a fan of a cc or their fans! All I’m asking is that we don’t hate on those creators or their fans, especially if it’s because you’ve had not great experiences with some of their fans. Often I think the former DSMP members fans are seen as stupid little kids who are toxic and childish, while in reality most of us are over 16 or even adults. Phil, Foolish, Slime, Quackity, etc were never really the problematic part of the dsmp fanbase, which was kind of split into Techno’s friends and their fans (who were always pretty chill for the most part) and then dream’s friends and their fans (who were and still are pretty problematic a lot of the time). I never was a huge dsmp enjoyer, so I never really watched the lore and preferred to watch their other stuff, but I always disliked the dream team and their little group, they always rubbed me the wrong way.

I only truly watch Phil’s streams, but I’ve taken up watching Cellbit and Fit as well, even if I can’t understand Cellbit sometimes, so remember that we won’t know everything niche about characters because of the language barriers! Don’t be a dick or rude to people who are unaware of certain parts of lore and such because they don’t watch multiple creators, we want to keep the QSMP fandom a chill safe place where people don’t feel hated or excluded just because of which creator(s) they watch, so in summary just be nice to everyone and don’t hate on people just because they don’t do things the same way as you. This community was created with the purpose of bringing people together and breaking barriers, so let’s try and keep that moral in mind while interacting with other fans!

TLDR: you’re free to dislike creators or their fans, just don’t lump them all together and say they’re all clueless or don’t care about any other characters! Let’s keep the point of the QSMP fandom what Quackity intended—breaking language barriers and bringing people together/lifting them up instead of putting them down :)

#this is all /lh btw #and /nm #I’ve just seen a lot more of this recently so I think the reminder is good #qsmp #qsmp fandom #qsmp favela five #qsmp purgatory #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp philza #qsmp lore #qsmp liveblog #qsmp wilbur #qsmp fitmc #qsmp cellbit #roier #fitmc #pactw #cellbit #foolish gamers #baghera jones #etoiles #bagi #philza #philza minecraft #jaiden animations #tubbo #badboyhalo #forever player #foreverplayerg #aypierre

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

Would a pilgrim die from the Chuckle/Sorry boys content?

Just something for thanksgiving :)

Schlatt

Most of the content that Schlatt makes would kill a pilgrim easily. There’s too much goon talk, the funny mic would give them a heart attack, and I’m pretty sure they would think Schlatt is a witch or something because how he has beef with the pope.

The only content I think a pilgrim would survive watching are the Jambo centric videos. That and the one where Schlatt is in that pet store in Japan with the cats. Just any of the cat content.

8.5/10- could kill a whole colony but there’s still a chance of survival

Ted Nivison

Could a pilgrim get overstimulated from his Rainforest Cafe and Margaritavil videos? Yes, definitely.

Could they kill a pilgrim? No, sorry :(

4/10- good attempt

Chuckle Sandwich itself

Yes. I’m sure of it. I also asked my mom and she also said yes.

11/10- Look at me in the eyes and tell me a pilgrim wouldn’t die from hearing the docking talk. (bonus mom point)

Slimecicle

Slimecicle’s content would start a plague if left unsupervised here present day then imagine what it would do in a small, unaware village.

15/10- those pilgrims are fucking dying.

TommyInnit

He’s the reason I made this.

11/10- Most pilgrims wouldn’t even survive the “Most people find me annoying at first-” bit (bonus point for British)

Wilbur Soot

Ngl I don’t really listen to Lovejoy I’m sorry- But from what I have listened to and knowing fun wasn’t allowed back in the pilgrim days, any pilgrim that would be caught enjoying Lovejoy would be burned as a witch.

8/10- Content can kill a pilgrim but not directly

(British bonus point)

Ranboo

They’re too fruity to be suitable for pilgrims.

10/10- too slay, too silly

Philza

If we are talking about the QSMP then they will perish but let’s be real, most of us are not doing well after the QSMP.

I must confess, I don’t have twitch and haven’t watched much of him so the only references I have are from either Tommy’s videos and the sand video.

But from I watched, it is with a heavy heart for me to say a pilgrim can survive Phil’s content. Out of everyone I might even say pilgrims are most likely tolerate/possibly enjoy Phil.

10/10 for QSMP (basically cheating)

3/10 for normal (bonus point added for British, point deduction for possible enjoyment by pilgrims)

Sorry Boys itself

…Is this even a question?

14/10 (+3 British points, +1 gay point)

Moral of the story: fuck the pilgrims

#chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #sorry boys #schlatt #jschlatt #ted nivison #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #tommyinnit #tommy innit #wilbur soot #ranboo #ranboo live #philza #thanksgiving

[miniaturesketches]

Skyeward Fic Recs

Here's a new list including both old and recent works! I'm always on the hunt for beautifully written fics with great plots and compelling characterization - or you know, just enjoyable and quick fixes, that too - so this list will be updated from time to time. (Note: some fics are abandoned or incomplete.)

The Head & The Heart series by Poetgirl925 is my all-time favorite long fic, featuring a non-HYDRA Agent Ward who ends up planning and working on operations with Skye at the Triskelion. It's the lesser-known sister of the famous Under Your Skin fic by the same author.

the death of peace of mind by hellfxres involves a Hellfire! Ward working as a firefighter. That is, until Agent Daisy Johnson shows up at his station. I haven't finished reading this, but the premise is so interesting that it's on my list.

There is Nothing Special About Grant Ward by NezumiPi is one of my only two bookmarks. That's how good it is - a complex and absorbing exploration of Grant Ward's childhood as the son of a mob boss, his abusive relationship with Garrett, and his subsequent crimes. In custody at the Playground, Ward slowly is allowed to participate in operations again. (Note: this is not for the apologists and while there are interactions between Skye and Ward, they are not romantic in nature.)

You Know You're My Saving Grace by GreenEyedStone is historical fiction set in WW2. Unapologetically Skyeward, it follows the life of Skye, the daughter of the United States Air Force Major Phil Coulson, as she gets married to the soldier Grant Ward and has a child. She works on the frontlines in Europe as a journalist. (I'll admit I'm biased as I beta'd some of it, but I think this fic is criminally underrated.)

How to Keep Your Distance, Unsuccessfully by miniaturesketches, aka me, is an old two-shot. Set in Season 4, Daisy Johnson is on the run as a wanted vigilante, hunting down the Watchdogs. When she's severely injured, there's only one person she can call - Grant Ward, her old partner at S.H.I.E.L.D. (Note: "Ward Is Not HYDRA" fic.)

Four Bullets and A Dirty Smile by thefrenchmistake is one of the most popular Skyeward fics of the early 2020s. Not S.H.I.E.L.D-friendly, it's a classic Grant Ward redemption story. But my personal favorite from this author is the oneshot Maybe in One of Those, We Can Win It All, involving the multiple tragic universes in which Skye and Ward meet. So much angst.

I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day by go_astray_with_me, who is the queen of fun-to-read Skyeward. I'm always excited to read her oneshots (and PWP) when they turn up on the Skye/Grant Ward tag. This one is pretty much as the title says.

The Fine Dimensional Line by Kylia has one of the most exciting plots I've read. Grant Ward and Kara Palamas, desperate to escape HYDRA! Skye, take a gamble on one of Fitz's mad ideas - and end up in an alternate world, one where the fine line between loyalty and treachery, love and hate, worked out completely differently.

Real or Not by DrawntoDarkness is a classic oneshot. After being tortured, Skye has trouble differentiating truth from her implanted memories. She spends a day with each member of the team.

The Persistence of Memory by Eienvine is a "Ward goes through T.A.H.I.T.I." fic. James Shaughnessy is a respectable but average person living a respectable but average life . . . except for the dreams. Except for the scars on his body that he can't explain. Except for Daisy, the beautiful girl who comes to his restaurant sometimes and looks at him like she knows him.

The White Silence by starshine is a beautifully written oneshot. After they crash in the Canadian mountains, Ward must get an injured Skye to Providence. The fact that he is an enemy of SHIELD is of little importance in the face of hypothermia threatening to set in.

A Spy Like Me by colormeblue. After the Battle of New York, Grant Ward decides that he no longer wants Hydra to win its war with SHIELD and becomes a triple agent. Nick Fury gives him orders to work with Coulson's team in order to get valuable intelligence on Hydra but Grant finds his triple status and working with a team quite difficult.

Shades of Grey by imadetheline is another slowburn, Grant Ward redemption fic (unfortunately, abandoned). It was one of the first SW fics I read and I still have fond memories of it!

More coming soon!

#agents of shield #skyeward #grant ward #daisy johnson #fic rec #brett dalton #chloe bennet

[atthebell]

do you have any favorite days on the qsmp? if yes which ones?

SO MANY these are not in order they're just whatever i could think of. also idk if you mean like vod recs or just like fave days either way i'm gonna list them somewhat like recs

the french speakers' arrival is a wonderful day from several povs (bagheras, cellbits, quackity's, although his is fairly short as always)

similarly, brazilians arriving is also great! watch any of the brazilians or q or roier or even phil who was losing his mind waiting for them to give the eggs back

WATCH A DAY 1 VOD!!!! if you already have watched one pov, watch another from someone else! day 1 vods are so funny and deranged and really set the initial tone that really was the server's vibes basically up until the brazilians arrived

the egg event day! tbh watch any pov but roier's and jaiden's are really really good

the conclusion of the happy pills arc was an incredible day; i know it's probably soured for a lot of folks, and that's understandable, but if you never watched it and feel up for it, check out pac's and cellbit's pov of it because it's wonderful (pac didn't stream the actual conclusion himself, so you'll have to watch cellbit's to see the full conclusion of pac and forever getting the risus antidote)

idr what day it was exactly but the day bobby was killed by the code and lost his first life is a super interesting vod from several povs-- namely roier's, cellbit's, phil's, bad's, and probably some other folks? a LOT of lore stuff happened that day that was super interesting

cellbit's may 7 vod (featuring the cucurucho chainsaw hallway) + his may 10 vod (featuring him screaming and revving a chainsaw at the sight of cucurucho); tbh, if you're into qcellbit, watch his first week vods if you haven't because they're IMPECCABLE they decided to immediately torture him and also gave him so many puzzles it was great. this whole era of theory bros/ordo theoritas was incredible generally too so max's and bad's vods are also very very fun watches and they didn't spend a million hours deciphering an ARG so their vods are easier to get through

the day wilbur found tallulah is so fucking funny we were all losing our shit over the admins making an egg literally just for wilbur and to his credit wilbur did actually log on a ton those two weeks

bagi's arrival IMPECCABLE tbh watching anyone's day 1/arrival vod is a good idea they're usually pretty enlightening & fun; watch her pov as well as anyone else's because from what i remember they had to do a bunch of weird puzzles to get to her

similarly, carre's first day is very funny and chill vibes very enjoyable

gemeos do misterio reveal need i say more

the time roier and vegetta got quackity drunk at casualonas and got him to reveal his plans to kill the eggs on tape

literally any roier vod frankly roier is just so entertaining i could watch him wash dishes and have a good time

jaiden's birthday party vod

jaiden's vod where she was going on a break (i think when she'd been to japan?) and we got the reveal that she'd worked with the feds in the past

whatever day it was where they went and found kameto again in some federation hq

the juanaflippa life trial was deranged i didn't watch it myself (i think i was at my nephew's birthday party or something tbh) but every part of it sounded WILD

related, the funeral streams from any of the parents whose kids died are pretty interesting

the day quackity found out tilin died is BRUTAL but a great watch-- q is, of course, a brilliant rper and what he did with tilin's death was masterful and really heartbreaking. i think it was the day after tilin died? something like that

bobby dungeon. obviously. that was crazy and it set so much up for jaiden and roier's chararacters gahhhhh

the event with the new members' arrival (like tina and everyone else in that whole big crew)

any romero richas moments i cannot think of dates or anything off the top of my head but montelyson lore is so cool and genuinely creepy i miss it so much

the furniture prank came at such a wrong time but it was genuinely so fun along with the deranged waystone prank i lowkey wish they'd happened like. three days before or something bc they would've been really really funny

hide and seek!!!! again idr the day but when they finally got to do that event it was so cool

festa junina!!!!!! so many shenanigans and fun times

dia de los muertos EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!! seeing bobby again ough and all the newer members getting to meet the old dead eggs.... gahh

spiderbit wedding i am unbiased. nodders.

the day where baghs and cellbit did the first day train station puzzle was so good i NEED them solving shit together again sigh

BLUE BIRD MISSION + TIMER DUNGEON!!!!! event(s) of all time fr i loved that shit.

that time elq kidnapped dapper was kinda lame in that it didn't actually make sense BUT baghera went IN on that man and the whole thing of them following him was very cool

max and bad assassinating elq KING SHIT

wilbur party explosion need i say more that shit ruled fit's pov is great for that particular bit of the night bc you get to see ramon figuring it all out

the day they did a server reset so they let roier and bobby and tilin (i think it was them three? its been ages) blow a bunch of shit up that ruled

spiderbit ocean temple hangout very very good day

tazercraft prison break (the one where they escaped with walter bob but then he got taken away at the barbie house)

tiny mike day idr what was going on that day i jsut will never recover from tiny mike. miquinho. smaller than richas even so itty

#asks #anons #sorry i got really into this i am. normal about this server #also if you really meant fave days events and arrivals are always fun #well okay events prior to september are always fun #okay its 4am jfc i spent ages writing all this #vod recs

[artistnerd24]

(TLDR: I’m depressed that Jaiden is gone and now it feels like a huge chunk of my enjoyment of the server is gone. I completely respect ccJaiden’s decision to leave and am happy that the stream where I found her playing Qsmp led me to find such an amazing fandom and such a talented creator who I want to still watch in the future (seriously though, I would not have found her incredible animations if it wasn’t for that stream). I will probably be taking a hiatus from Qsmp though because now such a huge part of my experience is now gone and I realized how I’ve been prioritizing this over real life which has been damaging my mental health. I don’t know if I will return to the fandom or not (I probably will because I am way too addicted but it depends what life shows) but if I don’t, thank you Qsmp for allowing me to be part of such a great experience :D)

… just heard the news that ccJaiden is leaving the project and that qJaiden is dead…

I hope that ccJaiden feels better, I know how overwhelming Qsmp can get and I respect her choice to leave very much…

But… is it okay if I just feel very depressed now? Jaiden is who got me into QSMP, she has been my main for months and I loved her and her content and was planning to make so many animatic, arts, and fics about her (in fact she was one of my biggest driving motivators for it). She was truly such an amazing character. I loved her lore, I loved her personality, I loved Bubbleduo, I loved the Jaidens, I loved the idea of her and Empanada meeting… I just loved her character… she and her streams helped me feel better a lot… it’s the main reason why I’m still in the fandom… but now… with her gone I actually just feel like a huge chunk of my love for it has been ripped out, and I’m just sad. I’m sad that we lost her and everything that could have been in qJaiden’s future…

But hey! If it weren’t for me discovering her through a Qsmp stream that was recommended to me, I probably wouldn’t have become a fan of ccJaiden’s animations and probably wouldn’t even know about such an amazing creator! I’m happy that ccJaiden was able to be apart of this server and that now she will be able to do more stuff that she loves and doesn’t overwhelm her.

But as for me… I might take a hiatus from Qsmp for a bit…

If you look at my posts you probably knew how much I love Jaiden’s character and how she is probably my favorite thing about the server besides Gegg but he’s gone too…

There is a part of me begging me to not leave this fandom. I’m still in love with so many other characters’ stories like Tina, Tubbo, Phil, Bagi, etc.. But there has been so many times that situations and other events also just overwhelmed me and made me detached from real life and now with one of the main strings keeping me attached to the server gone… I don’t know if I want to still stay or not, so I think a hiatus would be good for me to just think things through.

Qsmp is truly such an amazing experience and like Jaiden said, Quackity has done so much and made something so very cool, but I think I just need some time away from it. Get back to real life again you know? I will probably be back, I’m way too addicted to these Minecraft cubitos leave, but in case I don’t… it’s been amazing to meet you guys and thank you for letting me be apart of this experience, it was incredible :)

#qsmp jaiden #qsmp #goodbye jaiden 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[g-xix]

favourite sidemen videos?

AGHHH I LOVE ASKS LIKE THIS!! Ty for asking this :)

In order of oldest to newest...

Sidemen Fear Pong - Featuring Harrry's doggo Herb and the iconic "DRIVERS OF LONDON!"

Sidemen Yoga - Featuring "PHIL!", prime sexiness JJ and zesty Harry... This video gave me sm ideas of making smutshots for Phil (but i thought nobody rly wants to see hardcore Phil smut and decided against 💀💀)

The Sidemen Show Ep4 - Haunted House - Literally just a Sam and Colby vid filmed by British idiots also featuring my fave JME

Hide and Seek at Wireless - Genuinely SO GOOD, like, Wroetostar combo goes SO HARD, Hide and Seeks were at their peak when they filmed this, they had sm energy and clearly were enjoying this shit so much... Plus all their charity match hairstyles are such a throwback to see

Sidemen Bowling - So goofy, loved this era where they were all just enjoying making budget ass content together which they somehow always found a way to violate

Sidemen Olympics - Tbh i just loved comparing my sporting ability to them + knowing i can throw a discus farther than all of these mf's and their highest scores

Christmas Football Challenges - Pervy Santa!JJ will also never be topped

Try not to Laugh: w Jack Whitehall / Shocking edition / Bad jokes edition

One word Interview - Shoutout Simon, one of the best YouTube series imo... He's got way more on his channel w each member + these answers are j so iconic

James Charles Makeup Challenge - featuring Click house, KSImon, and Harry's gay panic era

£10,000 vs £10: first holiday / roadtrip / Europe holiday / song

Sidemen Go Back to School - Literally the video that first introduced me to them. Absolutely iconic. Featuring Phil, Stephen Tries and Babatunde, this and the Sidemen Bake Off are their 2 vids that go hand in hand for most iconic atl imo

Worst Outfit Wins - not the exact title but summarises it better. Didn't like this thumbnail initially and put off watching it for a looong time but honestly it's too jokes to skip

Sidemen Become Parents - Literally the way that they descend to chaos and slowly become worse and worse parents is something special that everyone needs to see, full fuckin stop.

24 Hours Handcuffed - trust me.

Make a Christmas Song - Love these songs sm, literally have them on my acc Xmas playlist

Sidemen Dragon's Den - Featuring Niko, Max Fosh (Bosh), BambinoBecky, Chi With A C, Cal² and more

Hot Wings Challenge - Lol, love seeing their pain in this + JJ's Reddit absolutely peaked when this video came out

Sidemen Pub Golf + Europe edition- Just iconic, first post!lockdown pint with the boys where absolutely everyone got involved... and it ended badly for everyone except Harry and Ethan. Europe edition features Harry's birthday and just a lot more chaos i suppose.

Sidemen Gogglebox - Harry and Ethan are fresh off of a night out and cba, KSImon is released once more, and Josh, Vik and Tobi are just fulfilling their duty of watching the programs 🤷‍♀️ Thrilling post!lockdown entertainment imo

Sidemen Silent Library (1) and (2) - super new n unconventionial concept which was just really enjoyable to watch

The Cube - They're missing half the Sidemen but have Big Randy and Stephen Tries instead. They just get drunk to cope with the depression and it turns out for a pretty good vid.

Sidemen Hole in The Wall - solely for Waterman tbh

Forfeit Blind Dates - Ethan's pervy clown character, Deji's sheer energy (litr made me girl-crush on him) and that leng last lady, whole vid was a rare Sidemen banger

Japanese Gameshow - Loved the style with JJ as the host tbh he really fit it, and ofc the Deji feature was an added bonus

Weirdest Hotels - Featuring the Chrismd on a team w Harry n Vik, this rly was an absolute banger honestly

Mystery Box Challenge - idk something j felt very authentic excitement and interest about this vid

Sidemen Become Farmers - brought out the most wholesome and sexy side of the Sidemen all around

SMALLEST VS BIGGEST CAR - Hands down SUCH a banger, the chemistry between all these TERRIFIED mfs and the surprise guest (ᴉɾǝp upside down) ik the sidemen often feel overproduced, but this felt like such a genuine shiggles vid. Oh, and that kiss between Ethan and mystery guest was err... yeah.

Lol that took an hour of my life.

Anyways, if you're ever bored and wanna binge the unanimously decided best vids of the sidemen- I've collated these vids (and a few more) into a YouTube PLAYLIST which u can add to your libraries n watch whenever - or just check out to see whether you've watched all of these or missed any

anyways, hope you've enjoyed that bc that was LONG

And those are j main channel SDMN vids, but there's sooo many good vids on the moresdmn channel on top of these... MoreSidemen has sm mf hidden gems man, one day you'll see 🙏🙏

#WAFFLE!! #sidemen #sdmn #ksi #jj olatunji #sidemen sunday #miniminter #simon minter #ethan payne #behzinga #zerka #zerkaa #josh zerkaa #josh bradley #tobi brown #tobjizzle #tobijizzle #youtube #youtuber #vikkstar123 #vik barn #vikram barn #harry lewis #harry wroetoshaw #w2s #wroetoshaw #deji #comedyshortsgamer #deji olatunji #jme

[everything-is-as-it-was]

I know this has been asked before but:

I'm introducing my friend to Dan and Phil. Very scary, but I am brave.

I'm trying to give her two or three options; One will be the Halloween Baking video ("if you want chaotic gay energy") but I also want a more chill but very funny video. I was thinking about the swallowing glue video, but I think it's not as enjoyable if you don't actually KNOW DnP. So what's a video where their dynamic shines through but it's really funny to any audience?

much appreciation in advance <3

#dan and phil #dnp #d&p #phil lester #dan howell #amazingphil #dapg #dan and phil games

[anonymous-dentist]

ur so right tho like im embarrassed to like any team red content on my public accounts cause these other assholes r making the rest of us (normal/can be chill about a game folks) look bad

where did the attitude come from anyway? id be just as happy for any of the teams to win, but maybe thats just my casual enjoyer attitude coming out

Somehow, every fan favorite pov besides Quackity ended up on Red Team. Like. Somehow

And, not to point fingers, but the fact that almost every single Rude Red Post/Message I’ve seen has come from a crow and the fact that Phil’s chat had to be in emote mode for over half of yesterday’s stream and Etoiles had a whole moment yesterday like “People are saying I betrayed Phil???” and Phil’s fans unfortunately- like the other SBI groups- have a terrible reputation in certain circles for being toxic and I literally had to leave an entire discord server I was having fun in because the red team channel, which was made up legitimately entirely out of crows, was so toxic and negative that it ruined the vibes of the entire server.

Well.

#asks! #anon! #discourse ig

[rakkuntoast]

can u pls elaborate on the phiddies and renaissance paintings i asked my friend who’s a been a phil enjoyer longer than me and now we’re both confused

honestly i considered not elaborating cuz i thought it was funny but i think its way funnier new people now getting to know phiddies

(pardon older crows my memory is shit)

before kristin and phil got married, kristin had a bachelorette party and her friends made her this in celebration, hence the origin of phiddies

i cannot express enough how hell and back this thing was memed for years, at some point there were people just with phiddies layouts and replies full of the cropped image with only phiddies

the timeline gets blurry here cuz i dropped mcyt for like a year but at some point where phil updated his mc skin (the one we know of today) he covered the phiddies

i think it was wolfy who started it but on december 16th 2021 wolfy promised that if chat hit phil's subgoal they would draw phiddies, which they ended up redrawing the birth of adam as so

(note to add: that drawing also appeared on both the radar and the login page of tumblr, and got sent to the moon on that even mrbeast did... and also phiddies blanket and pillow is something wolfy owns LMAO)

and i guess this just made people draw more phiddies as renaissanse paintings like this one , or this one

and to this day it's still something that gets memed about in phils chat! just recently in one of phil's zelda streams where he was talking about a potental gamersupps flavor the chat was full of "phiddies flavor" (thanks to schlatt's cursed ass flavor name)

and that's all you need to know! hope you know i actually went out of my way to research all of this hope you enjoy <3

#ask tag #phiddies #philza #i took so long trying to find everything i cant believe i had to research abt fucking phiddies #but hope yall enjoy this cursed ass thing in phils community please bring them back along colorzas im begging #long post

[robby-bobby-tommy]

You may be a Fitza guy, but I am as well. Phil has my favorite duos and it is t even funny, but maybe biased… anyways, what’s your favorite Fitza quote that’s just gay for no reason? Personal favorite was something along the lines of

“Did I steal anything else from you?” - Fit

“My heart.” - Phil

I’m rambling now so don’t mind me-

I love these two, I watch Phil so just seeing these interactions are the best. He’s such a social guy but secluded himself to hardcore-

I feel like the QSMP showed a much different perspective on the two, how they take lore wise and as friends. They have such a close bond that they act so gay without somehow making it romantic and I love them-

Hii! Thank you for asking, fellow Fitza enjoyer!

Don't get me started. Man, I can go all the way and even give some receipts.

"Philza Mincraft is laying some pipes!" Philza VOD April 10 2023.

"We're so close"/" Don't mention it" I don't remember where it's from honestly.

"Not in front of kids, Fit" I don't remember where it's from, but it was said more than once.

"I got lost in your eyes" Phil to Fit.

"Fit Mc of 2b2t is an amazing lover and a great man, so muscley, so fantastic. Also I guess he is good at cleaning? Yeah."

An here's not so gay, but really friendship goals quotes.

"You and I.. We walk into churches and they burn down just by our presence." 10/4/2023 stream Philza Vod.

"I believe you, Phil" "You're not just saying that?" "Of course not!" 10/30/2023 Philza vod.

"You're too good to me, Phil"

"Fit, let me just add you to this stupid thing [gives access to the basement with Tallulah's farm]." "Oh, yeah, thank you" "It's been too long and you did just not had the access to it." "Thank you, means the world" 12/6/2023 Philza VOD.

"It's okay. We're gonna work through this together. We're gonna figure out what's happening. We got this." Fit about Crow's nightmares [fit is just a free therapy]. 09/25/2023 Philza VOD (this line is so powerful, so here's even a timestamp 3:26:49)

I'm not sure it's what you expected, Anon, but I hope I gave you something to work with:]

#qsmp fitmc #qsmp philza #qsmp #q fit #q philza #qsmp fit #fitza #wallflowerduo #i think people consider me obsessed at this point..... #qsmp rambles

[qritos]

hello pissa enjoyers can I offer you 2k words of Missa being a cringefail husband in these trying times

tw: british food

Summary:

Missa tried to bury his face in his hands. “I’m useless! I wanted to make something to remind you of home, but I fucked it all up.” Phil’s gaze wandered from the blackened burnt something in the pan to Missa in his arms. “Oh, Missa- I am home. With Chayanne, Tallulah and with you. That’s where my home is.” “But the food-” “Let me tell you a secret…I don't even like fish and chips that much.” “No?” “Yeah,” Phil cradled his cheeks, forcing him to meet his gaze. “It’s just too much vinegar for me.” Finally, Missa cracked his first real smile of the evening, even if he was still sniffling slightly. “Philzaaaa,” he muttered. “You’re so good to me.” “I’m your husband. If I’m not good to you, feel free to make me sleep on the couch.” - Or: Missa wants to thank Phil for everything he does for the family by cooking him something that will remind him of home. Just his luck, everything goes wrong - and it gets worse before it gets better.

#pissa #qsmp pissa #death duo

[death-is-a-workman]

The imaginary MCC team that I most want to see is Grian, Scar and Dream in an MCC where they play both Buildmart and Sands of Time. It can be early. They don’t have to use those games to catapult themselves to victory in order to satisfy me.

I just want to watch Dream and Grian take turns girlbossing each other through their best game. It would be great.

I want Scar there for two reasons. Reason the first: just want Grian and Scar to play Buildmart together. Reason the second: Dream is both a very rude boy when he is around his friends and it would be very funny if he found Scar frustrating, but also he is a Very Polite Young Man when he is around people he respects and doesn’t know very well for instance, Hermits. So Dream being a very good teammate and captain, an Extremely Polite Young Man, and a deeply infuriated teakettle all at once would be nothing but delightful. For me. And the Hermits, who are trolls.

Literally any fourth teammate would be good. You could add another Hermit, completely outnumber Dream, give him some backup with a Dream Team boy, add Philza and play Terra Swoop Force to double my bird boy enjoyment (Phil’s kind of a coin flip on raising or lowering the maturity level of the team, mans loves chaos), give me Wilbur ‘my skin is based on Grian’s skin’ Soot to fall to his death while bridging. There’s no wrong answer, any addition can only improve the team.

Would it be a good team? No idea, not the point. I would have a great time and honestly I think they would too.

#mcc #dreamwastaken #grian #goodtimewithscar