#theo favoritism is very real and effects all of us. so true.

[mattodore]

100 questions with Matthias | playlist, pinterest | ←

1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

Hm… I think Matthias and I are similar in that we’re both all-in when it comes to love, but I think just about every other aspect of Matthias’s personality and life are different from mine. Or, I hope so... lmao.

2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?

Absolutely not. I would be calling for this man’s beheading online. He wouldn’t like me either (let it be clear that he doesn’t like much of anyone, though). If we had to have a conversation I’d maybe listen to his thoughts on literature or history. I like listening to people much more intelligent than myself talking about the things that interest them. I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him, though.

3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?

Incredibly competent. Matthias is a savant with huge swaths of knowledge touching on a countless number of subjects, has analytical prowess, is strong and sturdy, manipulative, charming, and a natural born leader. He has all the makings of a solid survivor and could wind up on the other side of any survival scenario as the head of some fucked up cult, honestly, but…. If the situation in question is dire or inconvenient enough he’s simply not going to bother. He’d let someone else kill him off without putting up a fight. And I’d say he’s better in a group just because he needs people to make him feel real.

4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?

Daredevil. Matthias has little value for his own life and often winds up doing some rather outrageous things in order to feel anything other than the numbness he's used to. I think the most daring thing he’s ever done has to be blackmailing the headmaster of his boarding school just because of the sheer gall of it.

5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?

Matthias is never in any kind of rush. He leans and lounges and sprawls. He doesn’t move much, but I think he does have a certain lofty demeanor about himself when he’s waiting that’s reminiscent of a big cat swishing its tail and flicking its ear; if he’s crossing his legs you’ll see his foot sort of dip and swish while he’s waiting… he taps his forefinger on his temple… and he stares very intensely.

6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?

Matthias pretty much figured out what worked best for him when he was a teenager and has stuck with it since then. He has a simple skin care routine and only uses a few hair care products, so it’s not something he has to put much thought into anymore as it’s all just rote memory now. 

In terms of his clothing, he’s not very adventurous and knows what already works versus what doesn’t. He gravitates toward pieces that flatter his physique while also remaining in a color palette more suitable to his tastes (he likes plain clothing without logos or lettering and wears blacks, grays, whites, and darker shades). 

But Matthias also has a dermatologist, a stylist, and a personal trainer on retainer… he could always get them on the line if he needed to. 

7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?

No material possessions, but he does seek out knowledge, if that counts? He also owns a lot of books, but not because he’s collecting them on purpose… he just reads a lot.

8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?

I think he likes both sweet and bitter flavors the most. He’s used to eating a wide array of foods, so I don’t think there’s any flavor he doesn’t like exactly. Matthias can’t handle spice at all, though, which is a shame because he does actually like the flavor. Theo finds this to be very funny, by the way… he thinks Matthias is cute when he’s trying to play off how badly the food is getting to him while drinking water in these precise, measured gulps that’re meant to be subtle but just make it all the more obvious that he’s kind of dying. His ears and the back of his neck go all red while eating spicy food.

9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?

Matthias doesn’t trust easily at all. I think it’s partly because he never had anyone to trust in those development years of his childhood, but also partly because of the way in which his mother shipped him off to a reformation school to be abused and tortured and then essentially abandoned him there. Even despite never being close with his mother or even particularly loving her… he still knew that there was something meant to be there between a mother and their child that was… betrayed. So he finds it nearly impossible to give his trust over to another person, especially because he hides so much of his real desires, impulses, and personality from the world. Imani is the first person to ever gain that trust and the only person after to get it from Matthias is Theo. 

As for himself… it depends on who you are. If it’s Imani or Theo that are putting their trust in him, then they can be assured that they will never have to doubt him. If it’s someone else, however… he’s only trustworthy when it suits him and his little games. He lies a lot just for the hell of it, cheats often, and amuses himself with the power of holding secrets. Do not trust this man.

10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?

Matthias was trained in etiquette for years, and despite frequent participation in debauchery as an adult, and a strong distaste for rules, some of his training has stuck with him regardless. That is to say that poor table manners make him feel homicidal. Open mouthed chewing and talking with your mouth full has to be what he finds the most atrocious, especially as it nearly makes him nauseous. His way of handling these annoyances is to simply leave without another word, no matter how important the conversation or the person having it with him is.

11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?

Matthias has a very good memory (a detriment, really, considering how much there is in his life that he’d really like to forget) and a good sense of direction follows that naturally. He hardly ever gets lost.

12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?

Like a fish to water. Matthias has lived his whole life placed at the top of the food chain and leading the pack already. He takes up that space with grace. But does he actually want it? Well… no, he’s rather bored of it now. He wants someone to follow instead but so few people are deserving of his devotion… 

13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?

Matthias has the confidence of a man who has never found himself to be intellectually inferior to anyone and has only ever stood above everyone else. He’s arrogant and disdainful. Comes with the turf that he also likes himself a great deal… he’s prideful to an irritatingly high degree unless you’re into that sort of thing.

14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?

Matthias is silver-tongued. He enunciates every word carefully and speaks very precisely. He speaks confidently and never mumbles or stutters. However, if he lets his mind wander or slip (whether aided by intoxication or just simple distraction) his Polish accent—which was trained away when very young—slips through the cracks. You can hear his accent most notably over the letter “a” in words (Bambi becomes Bahmbi, for instance… which I mentioned months ago but now there’s the added context that this is his nickname for Theo… grins a little). 

15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?

Perhaps it’s because of how regularly he exercised his mind from a very young age, but Matthias’s memory is astounding. More than anything, though, what his memory latches onto most is violence. The traumas of his teenage years have followed him like a second shadow. His dreadful nightmares are fueled by just how much he remembers of his time at the reformation school he was sent to from ages 15-18.

16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?

Platonically? He’s very warm with Imani. He often holds out his arm to her so she can place her hand on his bicep as they take walks in the morning. I don’t think they verbally affirm to one another how much they love and care for each other, but that’s mostly just because they already know they do from over a decade of friendship. Plus, Imani kind of has a hard time accepting love from others, so that’s also why Matthias doesn’t speak to his love for her as his dearest friend.

Romantically? Matthias is always showing his affection and love for Theo openly and without shame. He meets Theo’s needs exactly where they are, seeing in Theo just how badly he needs to be reassured and pursued, even when Theo is still trying to deny himself what he desires. Matthias conveys his affection most through words of affirmation and acts of service. He’s always in Theo’s ear whispering about how his heart beats through Theo’s or how nice he’ll be to and for Theo, how good… how he’d crawl for him… he’s incredibly devoted and Theo is very aware of that fact. Make no mistake, though, Matthias is also affectionate in other ways as well. He’s incredibly tactile with Theo, because Theo’s most comforted by the physical reassurance that Matthias is there to catch him, you know? If Theo falls, he’s got him. Matthias also isn’t shy about voicing how badly he wants Theo either. Time and place don’t matter to him at all when faced with Theo’s presence (or, even, the absence of his presence; Matthias wants him all the time). Matthias would let Theo do anything to him. He could ask anything of him.

17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?

Matthias is… hm. Generally speaking, he’s polite, but it’s not exactly… sincere. He’s all charm and pretense, I mean… he’s just following the social contract to get what he wants. In formal situations, he’s the picture perfect gentleman. He has a lot of experience from etiquette lessons to cotillions and has undergone rigorous training in boarding school to ensure infallible success in the upper echelons of society.

18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?

Matthias is very strong. You can tell just by looking at him that he’s strapping. His muscles aren’t the kind that are just for show… he’s thick all over and isn’t concerned about having a movie star six pack. He wants real, animalistic strength. He wants to ensure he’s never put in a situation where he can’t protect himself ever again. And I’d say his endurance is better than his agility by nature of having previously undergone a lot of forced labor. Plus, he’s had to adapt and has a high pain tolerance now that he’s in his twenties, so aside from, like, pretty high stamina, his actual ability to endure pain itself is high.

19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?

Hm. I think he’s not very… imaginative? Creatively, I think Matthias is very much someone who just sees what’s there… he doesn’t draw from it and add on, you know what I mean? He does some art, but it’s observational realism. He sketches landscapes almost exclusively (in fact, it’s one of the things he does in the mornings). He has a lot of free time not only because of the nature of his lifestyle but also because of how little he sleeps… so he’s had a lot of time to practice and is good at it. He’s trained in ballroom dancing but he’s not explored any other kinds of dance and doesn’t try letting loose any other way. He can play the viola and the piano (as he’s legally required to do as a fictional rich love interest™), but doesn’t compose his own pieces. He’s not a writer, surprisingly, despite reading obsessively… I don’t believe he’s ever even tried writing himself. Well, he does journal, on occasion, but that’s just drawing from his real life… his imagination is stilted. One could draw the conclusion that this is perhaps because of the childhood he had or a result of trauma… hm. Take your pick.

20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?

Well… he plays mind games, if you count those. He likes messing with people. Other hobbies… well, what I just mentioned in the previous question, for starters. Hm… I think he treats sex as a hobby. He reads a lot and always has. Birdwatching. Going on walks. I think he’s pretty boring, honestly. Sorry, Matthias. No, um… I really think he just… appreciates the world. It sounds weird to say, considering he’s rather nihilistic… but I feel as though his nihilism actually plays a part in why he just… sits back and appreciates what’s there, because what else is there? The birds in the trees, the rising and setting of the sun, the movement of his body while dancing, the base pleasures of his sexual appetite… yeah. That’s what life is. Experiencing it is his hobby, I suppose.

21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?

Matthias isn’t very expressive. Sure, he smirks and offers an inscrutable smile, but… he’s hardly ever actually expressing his true emotions or thoughts. I’d say he normally has an intense, persistent stare no matter which mask he’s wearing for the evening. If he smiles, it doesn’t meet his eyes. He’ll raise a brow if he’s amused, and his mouth will quirk, but he never fully laughs—not easily, at least. You’d have to work very hard to earn a laugh from him.

22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?

Matthias wears sunscreen every day and is meticulous about reapplying it. If he tans, it’s very light. Mostly he just burns. Trust that he complains about this all the time to Imani as she’s often the one with him while poolside. She thinks it’s hilarious, because even when they were kids he’d burn along the bridge of his nose just from being out for a handful of hours in the courtyard of their boarding school.

23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?

Matthias is poised and confident in his movements and commands attention through them. He glides gracefully around the room when he’s entertaining guests and mingling. His tread is light, despite his size, and he has a tendency to creep up on people when they’re not looking. The way he moves is unsettling to some who’re watching on the outskirts, because it often appears as if he’s prowling. 

24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?

Oh, Matthias is a true romantic when he finds someone worthy of his affection. Or, rather than just his affection, should I say his absolute devotion? He worships at Theo’s feet. He’d debase himself just for a rare glimpse of Theo’s smile. He’s at Theo’s beck and call.

Additionally, Matthias would never be disgusted by any of his desires or urges as he doesn’t let society dictate how he feels about anything; rather, the more his desires deviate from what society at large deems acceptable, the more he’d delight in them. So the love he feels is something he exalts, even when it skews off in jagged directions.

25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?

Matthias is pretty stubborn, I think. He values his own opinions above all others. He’ll move only if he’s been proved wrong or outsmarted… which is something that always gives him a delicious little thrill. He loves meeting people who can get the better of him.

26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?

Matthias is an insomniac and gets very little sleep. When he does sleep… hm… I think he doesn’t move around much unless it’s to accommodate someone else in the bed with him (Theo…). Matthias sleeps on his back using one pillow under his head. He doesn’t like feeling constricted, so he sleeps naked with only a sheet covering his body, his comforter put away in the storage bench at the foot of his bed and only brought back out to make the bed in the morning.

27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?

Matthias likes the mornings best. I think he normally manages to get some sleep in at around 11AM-1PM in the day. Theo actually helps him fall asleep… Matthias will lay his head in Theo’s lap while Theo’s studying and the motion of Theo’s fingers carding through his hair will put him to sleep like a child with warm milk. His nightmares ease around Theo.

28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?

Matthias is very efficient and organized. It’s personally very important to him to keep his area clean as it was a habit he developed in boarding school.

29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?

I think Matthias’s signature fragrance is already a good enough representation of who he is. He wears Francis Kurkdjian’s Oud Extrait de parfum. A strong scent that’s spicy and rich with saffron notes that’re soft and leathery. He smells warm and masculine without being ostentatious.

30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?

Matthias has very little empathy for people who aren’t of his concern. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a true sadist… but he does have violent urges and enjoys toying with people. He’s protective of children and teenagers, though… it’s not something often seen, as he has no reason to be around younger people, but… Imani’s seen it first hand with her younger brother.

31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?

Theo. I’ve talked about this over here, but Matthias as a character exists because of Theo. His actual appearance is meant to contrast Theo’s. His life is meant to mirror Theo’s. His personality is both a mix of hard differences and similarities to Theo’s.

32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?

Matthias isn’t actually all that judgy. I mean, he definitely looks down his nose at people, but that’s hardly their fault. I’d say he’s open minded, but he’s also a lofty asshole.

33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?

Matthias doesn’t have material possessions that he feels he has to carry around at all times. 

But… I suppose he’d have his phone on him, a watch on his wrist, and his driving gloves tucked away in his back pocket. He doesn’t have a wallet, but he does have a card he’ll carry in one of his pockets. He doesn’t carry keys, as he has people who’ll let him inside his home when he needs to be let in. 

When he’s dating Theo, though, he often makes sure he has a hair tie or two on his wrist as well (which does in fact make me feel insane, thanks for asking). 

34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?

Surprisingly, yes. Matthias has a cat named Odious. By nature of Matthias being rich, Odious is spoiled, but not exactly by Matthias himself. He’s not very affectionate, but he does like her. She just wandered onto one of the estates and didn’t leave.

35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?

Matthias has a very noticeable scar on his chin from a decanter his mother threw at his face when he was fifteen years-old. I do think he’d have more scars on his body from the three years he spent at a reformation boarding school, but I haven’t yet decided where or to what extent the scarring goes. He has no birthmarks, freckles, moles, or tattoos otherwise. 

36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?

Matthias is the fight response without question, but it takes a lot to get him to break and resort to it. Matthias has an impeccable amount of control over his own impulses and can hold off on reacting for a long time. But when his control snaps and he turns violent, it’s most likely a response to Theo getting hurt in some way. He has very little control when it comes to Theo.

37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?

Matthias gives the impression of being impenetrable, but I do think stress is something he feels. If he’s stressed, it’s most likely because of mental challenges he’s facing. As for coping mechanisms for it… he probably doesn’t have any, just by nature of stress being something he chooses to ignore most of the time. Hm… I can’t imagine he’d handle it any differently than how he normally handles his other challenges: with wine, sex, and a crowd of murmuring bodies.

38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?

By all means, Matthias definitely seems as if he’d be pretty relaxed, but he’s actually on edge a fair amount. His insomnia gets pretty awful at times and he has audible hallucinations. The best way he’s found to deal with it is to relax outside, listening to the sound of the birds and letting the breeze ease the fevered rush of noise his mind tries tricking him with. He doesn’t live close to people at all, so he knows the hallucinations aren’t real (mostly, he hears screaming)… still, it’s not like he enjoys them. He views it as a weakness of his.

39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?

Matthias doesn’t like when his name is shortened, so he doesn’t have any nicknames based on his actual name. Hm... Imani calls him baby whenever she’s making fun of him, if that counts? It’s not really a nickname, though, but whatever. Theo doesn’t use nicknames with Matthias, I don’t think, but Matthias would go crazy for it if Theo ever did. He’d do anything to hear Theo call him his pet… I’d bet he fantasizes about it all the time. I’m sure he’s probably coaxed Theo into calling him a few nicknames during sex, though, so there's that.

40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?

Matthias is a polyglot. He can speak and write in Polish (and can generally understand a handful of other Slavic languages), English, Spanish, and French. He also knows ASL.

Matthias wants to be able to read as many languages as he can. Right now he’s learning Mandarin but is in the early stages of memorization. He’ll probably start working toward learning either Arabic or Hindi next… I’m not sure. He likes Arabic poetry (the translated forms he’s read) a lot, so that’s probably what he’ll gravitate toward.

41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?

His worst injury has to be the broken ribs and punctured lung he got while he was at the reformation school. It’s the source of one of his most frequent nightmares.

42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?

I’m honestly not sure that Matthias goes either which way. Everything is so… nothing to him that not even I can say how he feels in concrete terms. I don’t think he feels like there’s going to be better days ahead! or that everything is awful and will be awful forever. He’s just… apathetic.

43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?

Matthias has never seriously cared about rules and in actuality spurns them. The only time he observes them is when he can use them to his advantage or because he’s had to in order to ensure his safety.

44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?

Well… he’s had violent urges since he was very young. He doesn’t act on them hardly ever (now, at least), but they are there in his mind. And Matthias doesn’t avoid conflict per se, but there’s very little that he views as worthy of his attention in that way. He gets mad for a time, sure, but then he lets it go. When he does act on his urges, it’s… well. It gets bloody fast. He kind of lets it all out at once. 

45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?

Matthias is stilted with animals, including his pet cat. He talks to her like she’s a fully grown human person… he pets her a few times on the head and then pats her bum and tells her to go on her way. It’s a little funny, in my opinion. 

Matthias doesn’t really hang out in circles where children are present hardly ever, but when he is around them I think Matthias is surprisingly soft. He’s gentle with them and talks to them like they’re his equal; he doesn’t use baby talk or dismiss them. Kids really like him because of that. Matthias treats children and teenagers better than any of the adults in his life ever treated him.

46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?

Matthias thinks lying is fun, lmao. He only considers the truth to be important when he’s talking to people that he views as respectable. If he cares about you, he’s probably not going to lie to you. Perhaps it’s because of how good of a liar Matthias is, but he can see through lies eerily well. So when other people lie to him… hm. I think he enjoys it, because you can learn so much about people based on what they chose to lie about. He finds that fascinating.

He doesn’t like when Theo lies to him, though. Not about the important things at least, like Theo’s safety. It’s what Theo lies about the most to him.

47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?

He doesn’t pull pranks. He thinks they’re simpleminded and uninspired. He can think of much more exciting ways to mess with people.

48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?

When Matthias is nervous he’ll thumb at the scar on his chin. He catches himself doing it occasionally, but I don’t think he’s ever been aware of why exactly he does it. He stops himself when he realizes he’s going through the motions, though. He thinks the impulsivity of it is inelegant.

49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?

I’m honestly not sure. Matthias doesn’t necessarily care about material possessions, so you couldn’t really buy him something and expect much of a reaction from him for it. But I’m also not sure if there’s anything sentimental that would move him either. So not something made for him or something bought… but maybe something personal that belonged to you at some point. Hm. I think he’d let the mask slip and he’d offer a smile… a genuine thank you. He’d be fascinated by the choice of gift… it’d be different from what he’d expect someone to give him and it’d thrill him in that way.

50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?

Matthias models his behaviors off of others, so he’s attentive and watches closely. I think he’s perceptive, but not as much as his gaze might lead you to believe. Matthias can get caught up in his own orbit. His haughtiness gets in the way sometimes, so he slips when he’s having his ego stroked… it’s the best time to get one past him. Theo uses this to his advantage when he’s prevaricating and trying to avoid being caught lying.

51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?

Matthias has received numerous kinds of academic awards while in school. He’s also won awards for his manners and dancing in his etiquette lessons. No specific award I’d give him… not seriously, at least.

52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?

Matthias used to be a lot more aggressive when he was younger and was stubbornly argumentative, but he learned to control his… not anger, exactly, but his derision, as a natural consequence of physical violence at the reformation school he went to in his late teens. Matthias does get angry, but… he lets it go if it’s not actually worth his time. If you’ve pissed him off, he’ll give this tight, inscrutable smile and his eyes will glint once in warning before his features will smooth back over. He’ll keep staring until you get uncomfortable and look away first, change the subject, or leave. But if he’s actually furious over something that he can’t just ignore… he lashes out like a viper. You’ll get dizzy from how severely he dresses you down. Or he’ll hurt you, if your offense is grievous enough. I don’t think he’d be quick about that, though. He really does enjoy playing with people.

53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?

Oh God… Matthias absolutely cannot be given an audience. It would be detrimental to world order or something. Um… but I think he’d do great talking about history or literature… or manipulation tactics. I don’t think he’d have any guests on, though. He’s a one man show.

54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?

Matthias’s voice is low, cold, and seductive. There’s a gravitas to his voice and an arrogance you can just hear. If you close your eyes while Matthias is speaking, you’ll get the impression that you might need to crane your neck up to look at him… the force of his presence just spills over into every part of him, including his voice. He enunciates the letters in words precisely and has a measured way of speaking that adds a layer of… command to his words. 

I don’t have an exact voice claim… but I think his voice would sound like a harsher, deeper version of Michelle Gurevich's in Temptation (especially when Michelle’s voice starts to growl/rasp at the end of her words).

55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?

Hm… it depends on what the noise is coming from. He’s used to all kinds of distressing noises. In general, I’d say he prefers low background noise or silence.

56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?

Matthias doesn’t have a favorite color… like, at all. And I’d say silver reflects him well… I can’t say why exactly, it’s just the first color that comes to me when I think of him. Maybe pale blue as well… he’s icy.

57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?

Matthias has perfect eyesight. The fucker.

58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?

I think Matthias is actually incredibly easy to spot. I’d tell them to look for the tallest guy in the room who’s pale all over and broad shouldered. I honestly think that would be enough to spot him. I think his pale blond hair is the most identifiable feature he has, especially when light hits it.

59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?

While Matthias does have staff who’re paid specifically to cook for him, he actually waves them away a lot of the time to do it for himself instead. He’s a good cook. Not, like, Le Cinq level cooking, but he’s good regardless. I think Matthias spends a lot of time practicing things like cooking specifically to impress. He gives off the impression that he’s just innately talented at many things, but that’s by design. He’s actually worked very hard to develop the skills he has. It’s a fun aspect of his character, in my opinion. He seems like he wouldn’t care, but he actually cares a great deal.

(Additionally, being on Matthias’s payroll is pretty cozy, because oftentimes he just ends up doing what the staff are hired to do for himself and the staff still get paid regardless. Putting up with his uncomfortable staring and odd waking hours is worth it in the end.) 

60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?

Time slips away from Matthias frequently. He’s normally late to things, but because of his personality, a lot of people think he’s just being fashionable… he’s not. He genuinely just gets so wrapped up in whatever it is he’s doing that appointments on his schedule slip his mind and he winds up ten minutes late to everything.

61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?

He’s quick-thinking. His mind is agile and connects dots faster than most. But he’s not even half as perceptive as Theo despite having a similarly quick mind.

62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?

He’s both mentally and physically quick. He exercises regularly and boxes, which is something he would hardly be able to do well if he couldn’t react fast. The way he carries himself, his grace and poise, has also aided his reflexes. I think he reacts fastest when catching things… you should see how adeptly he can catch and maneuver Theo’s legs around him when Theo jumps on him.

63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?

Matthias is incredibly self-disciplined due to how he grew up and the experiences he had in his teens. He thinks first before acting, without a doubt. The times in which he does act first are always the moments in which his control snaps and he lashes out. He tries to avoid that happening as best as he can.

64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?

He’s lust, easily, but pride and wrath speak to him as well. 

As for the seven heavenly virtues, the only one I can even entertain for him is patience.

65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?

I was going to be funny here, but actually… I think I’d give him the ability to sleep whenever he wants. Is that really even a superpower? Probably not. But it’s all just made up anyway, so, sure. He’d have sleeping powers.

On the other hand, I think Matthias would be interested in something that could give him either greater knowledge or a deeper insight into the way people think. Telepathy, maybe? Not, like, mind control, or anything. That’s not very fun for him… he’d want to have to work for it more.

66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?

I don’t think Matthias has the interest or sensitivity necessary to give people advice. I don’t know… he doesn’t really have many opportunities to try, anyway. I doubt Imani goes to him for advice when she’d rather handle things on her own, and Theo would never ask anyone for anything, especially for help. But I think Matthias would be the kind of person you would go to when you want to indulge. He’d stoke the flames of your passions and persuade you to reach for them rather than staying still.

67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?

Matthias prefers to be in crowds of people. He has to feel alive somehow. He lives both because of others and through them. 

It’s only when he feels seen and understood through Theo that he begins to reassess and prefer the company of just a few friends and his lover.

68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?

Rather than feeling sad exactly, Matthias is more unresponsive. I’d say he has a very childlike sadness buried deep down that he’s carried with him his whole life to the point that he’s now numb to it. Nothing cheers Matthias up, not really. Maybe Theo.

69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?

Matthias is an insomniac, so by nature he’s sort of always tired; however, Matthias has had nearly a decade to adjust and is a master of performance—you would never notice how exhausted he truly is. It’s not that he’s dull or low energy… but he’s languorous. All of his movements are languid and unhurried. Even the way he talks is measured… he draws things out. His actions only pick up if he’s excited by something. 

70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?

Nothing.

71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?

The personal trainer Matthias has had since he entered his twenties is an ex-boxer, so that’s how Matthias has learned to fight in a more refined, professional capacity. Before that, though, he learned how to fight from hands-on experience at the reformation school… meaning, he fought dirty and there was absolutely nothing off limits. He had to defend himself any way he could. Because of this, Matthias is rather crafty in what he’ll reach for to use in a fight, but he prefers to do it with his bare hands if it’s… a more personal attack. 

Matthias actually spars with Sehyuk at times to blow off steam. They’re never fighting to really hurt each other, which is good… Sehyuk could put Matthias out of commission for quite some time if they ever wound up actually fighting. Well, if they were playing clean. If they fought dirty it’d be a toss-up on who’d win. They’re both rather brutal.

72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?

Matthias enjoys warm weather. He enjoys nature and likes tropical locations or locations that’re at a great distance away from other people. He likes being separate from everyone else at home… it gives him the space to drop the act and be who he really, truly is underneath it all. Space also allows him the clarity of knowing he’s just hearing things when he’s hallucinating. (Though, later this becomes unnecessary when Theo finds out about Matthias’s hallucinations and shows Matthias to record the things he thinks he’s hearing. If they don’t come through the recordings, then he knows they’re not real.)

73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?

Matthias has never actually been arrested, but if he were to be arrested for anything it’d be for public indecency, without question. Justified, obviously, because he’s fucking and sucking everywhere. 

74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?

Matthias is very intense when he’s actually drunk. He’ll stare without talking for a long, unsettling amount of time. He forgets to mind his strength and leaves marks behind if he grabs an arm or a shoulder. He doesn’t shy away from voicing his thoughts, of which he doesn’t filter… meaning he says things that are weird and also deeply disturbing if he’s feeling angry (again, violent thoughts… he’s always had them). Matthias is also direct in a very blunt, unrefined way when he’s drunk—he’s always direct about what he wants, mind you, but normally he’s charming about it. The charm’s gone when he’s intoxicated. He’s incredibly meticulous about never drinking too much because of all of this.

When he hasn’t slept for days, I think he becomes… very quiet. He doesn’t even talk to himself, which is a thing he does frequently when alone (a habit from childhood). I think the softest he ever is is when he’s tired. Theo’s seen him like this a lot. He’ll lay his head down on Theo’s lap and just stare into space. If he speaks, it’s a few words at a time and that’s it. He becomes pliable… he’ll press into Theo’s touch and sigh… he’ll make quiet sounds of discomfort and hurt if Theo tries to shift away or leave. He’s clingy. The hallucinations are incessant if he hasn’t slept for a long time, so… I think that’s why he gets quiet. There’s already too much noise.

75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?

He doesn’t really have a dream home. To be clear, Matthias did actually buy himself a large home to his taste shortly after getting his inheritance… but it’s not like he’s attached to it. He doesn’t have that… desire for material things, including for where he lives. He dreams about locations, sure, but the actual house he lives in doesn’t factor into it. He just wants to live somewhere warm and in the heart of nature… he wants to always hear birds outside.

76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?

Matthias’s father died when he was fifteen and since then he’s been completely estranged from his mother as well. His relationships with both parents have always been nonexistent. His mother has resented him since birth and his father only saw him as a means to continue his legacy as well as a way to entrap his mother. Physical abuse came with his parents’ marriage, but Matthias is completely unaware of that fact as he was neglected and left on his own for nearly his entire childhood. I’d say he can hardly even recall a handful of instances where he interacted with his parents when he was young. Rather than being under the care of his parents as a child, Matthias was taken care of by the staff of the estate (who had orders not to interact with him more than necessary). He received no love, no praise, and no physical affection. He grew up on silence, literature, and the sounds of the birds in the gardens of his home. After his father promised him the entirety of his wealth in his will, his mother assaulted him physically and then sent him away to a reformation school that psychologically tortured and physically abused him until Imani got him out of there the day he turned eighteen.

77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?

The most Matthias wears are his driving gloves and one of his watches.

78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?

Matthias’s social skills are award winning. He’s exceptionally charismatic and well-mannered. Of course, that’s just for show. His grasp on social cues is stilted, but a smile can get him very, very far with that face and all that money.

79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?

Well… I think either way you view this question in relation to Matthias’s character, the answer is going to be because of Theo.

80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?

Matthias’s handwriting is clean and romantic. Huge swooping curves and artistic strokes. You can tell his handwriting has been something he’s worked very hard on perfecting. He writes in cursive most of the time, but not always. His print is sharp and clean, but not as extravagant.

81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?

Matthias is good at drawing. He draws in sketchbooks and prefers simple graphite pencils. His art style is observational realism. (Refer back to #19 for more on this.)

82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?

Whisking Theo away to wherever Theo will allow him to would be Matthias’s dream. Theo has many different responsibilities that he’s bound to… and, really, Matthias just wants to take him away from it all and keep him in bed for days. He wants Theo to rest and act on his own wants and desires for once. He wants Theo to be somewhere safe.

83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?

There’s nothing Matthias doesn’t like about himself, honestly. He favors his own intelligence the most.

I think he’s valued by others for his money the most, followed closely by his looks. Most people who haven’t been privy to Matthias with his mask off probably would say they feel uncomfortable when he goes silent and just… stares. If they’ve seen him without the pretense, then his derision is what they dislike most.

84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?

I think he’s more masculine.

85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?

In the Echthroi universe? Hm… he doesn’t covet fame in any way, so I can’t imagine it’d be because of anything he himself has willed. Maybe someone snaps a photo of him and posts it online and it blows up? I don’t know… he doesn’t even have any social media himself, so… yeah. I got nothing.

86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?

Matthias has been carefully crafted to look exactly as haughty and duplicitous as he is.

87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?

He’s weak to being kissed behind his ears, touched along his spine, and having his head pet or his hair pulled. He’s weak to Theo and Imani… and there’s this small, trembling thing inside him that’s weak to his mother.

88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?

Hm… I have a hard time imagining him carrying anger with him long enough to foster a grudge (outside of the grudges he has with his mother and the people at the reformation school he went to). I think if he had an issue with someone he’d do something about it rather than stew in it. And by “do something about it” I don’t mean by talking things out.

89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?

Sexy. What? Who said that? 

No, but Matthias doesn’t genuinely laugh very often. Instead he has this rehearsed laugh that he uses to charm and manipulate in social settings. It sounds nice… breezy and light… a trustworthy kind of laugh.

His real laugh is actually pretty startling. Matthias’s voice is cold and seductive… dripping… but his laughter, when it’s honest and real, is rumbling and comes out at a much lower register. He laughs with his entire diaphragm. You can press your hand to the center of his chest and feel it rumble through your fingers. Theo actually jumped the first time he heard Matthias laugh. Matthias’s laugh is inviting and warm and always makes Theo all flustered. Even if you're immune to Matthias's looks and charm, his real laugh will draw you in.

90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?

Matthias doesn’t form attachments to material objects and has nothing he holds on to. He also sees zero value in family heirlooms and his lineage as a whole. I suppose he does still have his family home (and other Evanoff homes) in his possession but he defiles it regularly.

91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?

Matthias (like Imani) was forced through years of etiquette lessons and has a very precise bearing with an easy upright posture, standing tall and elegant in the center of any room. He’s both physically large (he’s 6’3” and would potentially have been taller had it not been for his experiences at the reformation school while still growing) as well as figuratively; Matthias has a very… imposing presence and is at ease with himself no matter where he is.

92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?

I believe it’s a three-way tie between intelligence, wit, and viciousness. Matthias doesn’t want to be bored by conversation and he seeks out stimulation and amusement to prevent that.

93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?

He prefers to learn by himself through reading and observation. Obviously, though, there are some things he can't learn through simple observation and does actually seek those who're better educated to learn from—like his personal trainer and language tutors. He has a very good memory, but he takes notes regardless. He likes the activeness of pen and paper while learning.

94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?

Logical, definitely. Matthias experienced very little emotional output for most of his life and it was only once he truly bonded with Imani that he started to develop more sentimental feelings. When it comes to Theo, however, he becomes almost entirely ruled by emotion… nearly too much of it for him to bear.

95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?

He keeps secrets very well. It’s not that he feels especially beholden to keeping his word, but rather that he enjoys knowing that he’s the keeper of a hidden kind of knowledge. That said, when the secrets he’s keeping are on Imani and Theo’s behalf, it becomes much more about a sense of loyalty and love than about… mastery and power, I suppose.

96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?

I would describe Matthias best as a man who is intimidating, imposing, and impossible.

Matthias would describe himself as detestable, irresistible, and… a mouthful.

97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?

Matthias is in his mid-twenties physically (I think 26-27 is a more solid answer, but nothing’s set in stone). Mentally… it’s complicated. When he was young he had a sort of agelessness about him… it was only when he first entered his teens (and the public) that I believe he began to act more like a real child and then more rapidly like a teenager. Abuse did a number on him, though, late in his teens… He’s both stuck at the ages he was during the worst of the abuse while also seeming older than he actually is. His maturity is best exemplified in crisis situations or when he’s taking care of someone (Theo…). Conversely, his maturity goes down the drain when he’s being stingy or possessive.

98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?

Matthias only has one best friend and that’s Imani, who is also the first friend he ever made (they've been friends since they were eleven and twelve, respectively). He’s also friends with Sehyuk but they aren’t particularly close. His relationship with Sehyuk is... one of convenience, I'd say, but they do have an interesting bond... Matthias is able to fully be himself around Sehyuk, which is rare for him.

99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?

Matthias is an insomniac so most mornings he’s not actually waking up but rather was already there waiting for the sun to rise. Matthias will sit outside with coffee and a book in the morning and listen to the birds. If he’s having breakfast it’s most likely something light that compliments his coffee.

100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?

In casual conversation I’d say he doesn’t often swear since he’s more imaginative than just saying “fuck you” or similar phrases, but if he does swear in conversation he’s most likely doing it in Polish (pierdol się is easily what he says most). When he’s in someone’s ear talking dirty, however, he’s vulgar to the point of pearl clutching on his partner’s part.

#posting matthias's first since it's like 2k shorter than theo's #river dipping #ts4 #matthias evanoff #echthroi #a burning house to live in #oc extras #s: echthroi #cw domestic abuse mention #(<- briefly mentioned in one sentence and it's between his parents!! forgot to tag this) #cw child abuse mention #adding links to mattodore's playlists because i think they really set the mood while reading about them like this #plus links to their boards which i think make a lot more sense after you've read their answers... #also after going through theo's answers i'm actually a little bothered by how brief matthias's are in comparison... #theo favoritism is very real and effects all of us. so true. #i'm just going to leave matthias's answers as is but maybe i'll come back and add onto them later on... shrugs #also can you even tell that i changed matthias a little... i kept the forehead shading and then lengthened his brows #and made his nose a little bit bigger... #didn't resize the new photos i've taken of mattodore so feel free to zoom... i know i sure am

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

#thegirlwhowatchedeverything #asks #death by kindness #my death #i am dead #oh also yes #they rumors are true #im writing a soulmate story next #i intend to hurt you #you being ALL of you #*evil laughter*

[blissfulalchemist]

9, 12, 14, 21, 22 and 24 for John and Cat ☺️

Thank you Lydia! Sorry this took a hot minute, but a few of these were better and easier written on a keyboard and the laptop we have is still MIA. But thank you for letting me talk about them!

9. How open are they with their feelings?

Once together they are very open with all their feelings. Before that though they were and they weren’t. See here’s the thing Cat is very much someone that has their heart on their sleeve and while she can hold back, it’s only so far. She by default is open with her emotions and feelings, however she didn’t always speak on everything that she was feeling which allowed her to sort of just keep them away or found ways to write off certain reactions to things. Her distrust for the Seeds wasn’t held back so much but she never tried to let on just how much she was scared of them. John as we all know is a master manipulator and doesn’t show emotions when he feels in control of situations. With Cat it became a balancing act of how much he should fake and how much should be left genuine in order to gain some form of trust with her and have her open up to him, as the more she opened up the more likely he was going to find out just how to get her to assimilate to Eden’s Gate. It was through this constant game of hide and seek with emotions that the two eventually caught real feelings and became more open after that.

12. Do they have similar goals? If they clash, how do they deal?

Truly when you get down to the heart of their goals they are very similar. For all of John’s more aggressive methods there’s the motive to help people and create a safer and better world for everyone. He wants better than what he had. Cat chose her career path because of the same reasons. She tries to promote that while in Eden’s Gate, doing a little more than what John was able to accomplish among the locals (though we can blame this on Cat’s unthreatening demeanor and height). When it came to fights about the methods that were being used to fulfill the confession aspect of joining Eden’s Gate neither really wanted to budge on their opinion, eventually though they came to the compromise that it should be a choice to have the more physical route or a less physical route where people were able to just talk it out and have the sin placed where it wouldn’t hurt that badly to the person or not at all if they fulfilled other duties that would count towards the same atonement. Now once Cat was gone the old methods resumed and those that didn’t have a sin got one.

14. Is their anything they associate with each other?

For John it was the wedding ring that he got for Cat once they started to have a true relationship along with a few of the small dried out wildflower bouquets that got left around the house and office. John kept the ring closest to him and upon finding out Chance stole it he did double down his efforts to finding him as he desperately wanted the ring back, Faith does eventually convince Chance to give it back. 

For Cat it’s the birthday gift that John gave her outside the Spread Eagle. She wasn’t allowed to have it while hospitalized and once she got out she wore it almost everyday until she felt and knew that there was no way that she could get back together with John. It does stay where she can see it on her nightstand. If Liz ever asked about it she would tell her that it was from her father but wouldn’t elaborate on the details. 

21. Personally, do you think they are a good couple? 

I had….so many intentions to make them a better couple when I first joined the fandom and developed their story. However as time went on and Cat became more developed they aren’t a good couple in the sense of it being healthy as there are many unhealthy things about it, however! as a dynamic though! Yes they are a good couple.

These two are very much living and presenting lies when they first interact and meet. The two, though mostly John, egg the other on to bring about parts of themselves neither want to see to the forefront. When they come to a middle ground it starts to look a little more obsessive especially when John gives her up to let her attempt to go back to a normal life with Theo. John doesn’t really leave her be, leaving gifts for her, speaking to her, seeking her out, and still telling her that he loves her. Vice versa Cat has a more subtle obsession with him for a long time with her seeking him out, asking him for advice, and making decisions that keep her and those she cares about in Hope County in the hopes of John joining them (really it’s because she can’t come to being okay with being away from John).

Once embracing the Mary Seed persona her clingy-ness to John is much more apparent. She takes on this role with the sole purpose of making a better life for her and John that will guarantee she never lose John prematurely like she lost Theo. She adores being at his side and just being with him, so much so that when he sends her away once again for good Cat does everything she can to contact him, escape to him, and just be with him. It’s these behaviors that have many professionals telling her that John’s affection for her was fake and induced by Bliss (which granted played a very small role with it just being around and having a background effect that just kept her a little more open really). With John it does turn into trying to get her back while also keeping away from his mistake and in a way finishing what she started. Once in the real world again John never fails to try and re-establish their relationship. 

He keeps his distance for a long time but knowing that eventually Liz will have questions and will try to seek out the answers, which is where he will slither his way back into Cat’s life. He does go to lengths to try and ask her to be with him again and Cat wants to, truly she wants too but she knows how bad it got and doesn’t want to risk losing Liz as it would feel as bad, if not worse, than when she lost her first child. There was no untangling them from the other once they came together, but thankfully Cat’s stubborn in keeping her distance from John romantically. 

22. From the outside looking in, what is their dynamic like? 

Very back and forth with how they play off of their good and bad qualities. Cat may not have had the same experience as John but she has the empathy and patience to help him and work through it. Once there is some trust between them, John no longer really holds back his displeasure and anger outbursts and image is everything so he needs Cat to not look like the meek little wife that Joseph more hoped for with her. She loses her spine a bit and John pushes her to stand up for herself with everyone and not just him. Vice versa John can become too much as she offers the different perspective and calms him down so he can get a better grip on his emotions and work through them, even if he’s only a calmer and nicer version of himself around her only.

24. Is their any moment that happens between them that you know happens and just makes you melt? 

God okay so I headcanoned John to be a Leo in my story because the real change for John is when Cat makes a little private birthday celebration for him, despite how much of a jerk he had been to her prior. Cat knowing that there hadn’t really been much in the way of birthday parties for the Seeds takes to making a nice dinner of what she can manage of John’s favorite meal and makes a nice cake for him with the best she can manage decoration wise as she’s no artist. She makes this little empty cabin the destination of it and decorates it to feel fancier than it is. There’s music in the background on a radio and eventually they just kind of dance under the stars and moonlight and its just so! God its just so soft and probably one of the most self indulgent parts of their story.

#x: tribulation #Thank you again Lydia! #also not me almost forgetting that I had this ready to post Thursday 😅

[nicolebehariewce]

KELLEE TERRELL: What about being in the Black Mirror universe appealed to you?

NICOLE BEHARIE: First, I just really like genre and sci-fi and imagining the world, the future. That, and Black Mirror is one of my favorite television shows and one of the only ones I look forward to. It's also nice to see people of color on-screen and [Charlie Brooker, the show's creator] has done a good job of creating a diverse world in their universe.

Also, a year ago, they wanted me for a part for a different episode, and I wasn't available. So this time around when they called, without even reading the script, I was like, "I am not going to miss the opportunity. I'm in!"

KT: I read that "Striking Vipers" was shot in Brazil. If that's true, Nicole that's like a free vacation and a paycheck.

NB: Listen. When I first read the script, I felt like the story and my character were pretty domestic, so I was sure we were going to shoot in Atlanta or Los Angeles. Then they told me we would be shooting in Brazil and I was like, "What! Come again?" And with all the different architecture and the beautiful, lush outdoors and how that world was constructed, it was so beautiful. Plus, it was like a free vacation, and it was amazing. 

KT: This episode is such an intense exploration of sexuality, marriage, and technology. What did you take away from it?

NB: The themes were spot-on and on time, especially for Pride Month. As a culture, we are currently going through a period that is more approving [of the LGBTQ community], and more of us realize there are a lot of different ways of loving, living and choosing your life.

As a woman who grew up in the South and was raised in West Indian culture, there are things that "were not allowed." Luckily, throughout my career, I have been able to explore some of that, just like in the film Shame with sex addiction and now [with "Striking Vipers"]. And as an actress, I am always interested in how women exist in these different spaces and how they confront and deal with the expectations placed on them.

KT: Theo is juggling a lot. Being a good wife, a good mother, and wanting to get pregnant again, but still wanting to be sexy, seen and content.

NB: Exactly. I feel like in the very beginning of the episode, Theo had ownership of her body and her sexuality then fast forward to her speech where they are sitting at the table at the restaurant, and she says that other shit [that is opposite of how she used to be]. Now she is raising a family and, in her mind, things are different. Her body is different. And this is real. Often women are living that life and also trying to be fulfilled and wanting to be able to be honest in their walk. 

KT: Let's also talk about the intersections between black masculinity, male friendship, and sexual desire. Because let me tell you, when Karl told Danny he'd virtually slept with a polar bear and it wasn't as good as it was with him, Black Twitter was shook.

NB: Yes! I love how this explores black male masculinity and all of that unsaid things that people whisper about and don't say out loud because they are afraid. And I don't even think Charlie Brooker and the other folks behind it were even aware of that particular conversation when casting us.And when I look back at the scene with [Anthony and Yahya] kissing and that was all about these two brothas' trying to figure it out — and figure it out together. In the end, that's what everyone is trying to do — black, white, trans, whatever — somehow figure out how we fit into this world being ourselves.

KT: Let's also talk about that ending! While Danny is getting his yearly dalliance on with Karl, Theo is also getting hers at the bar. I thought it was empowering and even feminist that she isn't just sitting at home letting him have all the fun.

NB: Honestly, I have mixed feelings about it.

KT: Really? Do tell.

NB: I mean, I think it's cool that there is some type of balance, but it's also kind of sad. I don't know. Why can't Danny play online with Theo instead? But as an actress, there are times when we play parts we don't necessarily agree with, but that's the beauty of this work.

KT: Throughout your career, you have been in so many things, but genre looks really good on you, especially with Sleepy Hollow and now Black Mirror. Why is it so important for more black women to be portrayed in sci-fi and horror?

NB: Whether it's Black Panther or Get Out, I think it important to expand what the world looks like and for us to have the power of letting our minds fly in these different universes. It's also important for actors to have these breaths of experiences in their craft. Super early on in my career, I had a conversation with someone about my skill level, and they were telling me what I needed to work on in order to be in these types of projects. And my response was that it's not that I don't have the ability to do this, I just don't have the same opportunities to do it. But things are changing, slowly, and it's an exciting thing to see.

But even in genre, black women can get stuck cast as the strong and long-suffering archetype. I would love to see the neurotic, quirky black woman because to me, genre is about trying new things, not staying in the box and I hope we can keep building that out, because I'm here for it.

KT: Your fans really missed you and Sleepy Hollow's Abbie Mills, so when the trailer for Black Mirror first came out, people were beyond excited to see you back on television.

NB: Wait, really? Is that true? I took a social media fast from January to March, so I'm so out of the loop.

KT: I swear. I wouldn't play with your emotions like that. [Laughs] Every three months, folks on Twitter want to know where you've been and when you're coming back.

NB: Wow. That's so awesome to hear. I mean, I knew I have fans and that I was missed, I guess I just didn't know it was to this extent. Maybe I'm just too reclusive and shy. It's funny. There was this Iconoclasts interview between Dr. Maya Angelou and Dave Chappelle where he asked her about how she handles criticism and admiration, and she said something to effect of, "I don't pick it up and I don't lay it down." I try to do the same, because I still have work to do and I don't want that to change. I don't want me to change, you know? But I am so grateful to be seen and just know that I see y'all who have been there with me and with Abbie. I appreciate you and feel this love. So while I might not be on Twitter all the time, I am reaching out and connecting with you all through the work. We got some metaphysical shit happening between us. 

KT: Finally, what's next for you?

NB: I don't think I can talk about it yet, but I have some really cool things cooking that I am excited about. Some of it will be familiar, and then there will be things that some people are going to be like, "OMG, Nicole is really going in!" So you will just have to stay tuned. [x]

#Nicole Beharie #Nikki Beharie #black mirror #Striking Vipers #abbie mills #sleepy hollow #black love #love #lgbtq #black girl magic #nicolebeharie

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

yuletide 2k19 recs

what does the zombie apocalypse mean for the democratic primary? (538 politics podcast)

Micah: Okay, they're not zombies.

Nate: They are too!

Micah: They're not dead! You can't be a zombie if you're not dead.

Nate: Let's not get bogged down in semantics. Anyway, the only good thing about it has been the twitter jokes. If you stop calling them zombies it's not funny.

Galen: Let's get through the intros before you guys start fighting about whether they're zombies or not. Also here with me in the studio, Managing Editor Micah Cohen. How are you?

reader, i SCREAMED. a series of transcripts of the 538 politics podcast, the absolute only thing keeping me sane for three years and counting, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, this fic is hilarious, sharp, and like, shockingly well-characterized, from clare telling micah not to worry that she's stuck in the midwest to nate silver reminding us all that the president's approval rating has been pretty steady his whole term to galen shutting down a spat about whether it's stupid to talk about how carpet-bombing the south is going to affect the democratic primary by butting in with a ziprecruiter ad. i... feel like the audience for this is small enough that if it's for you you've found your way there, but on the off-chance that's not true or you are just feeling very adventurous, run don't walk!

273 moments of silence (4'33")

He used to smile with his eyes more than his mouth.

Why the actual fuck would you use that font in work correspondence?

Pillows seem to hold lost scents longer than physics should allow.

i am wildly in love with the fact that "4'33" - John Cage (Song)" was a requested fandom and that MULTIPLE people wrote fics for it, several of which were pretty good! this one was my favorite - a weird prose poem with some truly lovely images and turns of phrase and a great control of tone that made it beautiful without veering into preciousness.

speak truth to knowledge by equivalence relation (tswift MV)

TAS04: Visual: Both sisters are sitting in chairs. The color variation on their garments is complex and appears planned. Cinderilla is standing. Her garments are far simpler and the color variation is haphazard: compare code patches?

TAS07: cannot independently compare visual to anything without visual itself.

TAS07: visual is embedded in file 29021-h?

TAS07: Sarah is unwilling to provide that or any other storybook to any unit currently without, for unspecified reasons related to Lucy.

this is... technically... fic for the taylor swift "ready for it" music video? but also it is just a marvelously weird, slightly creepy, linguistically intelligent, formally inventive science-fiction story about cyborgs learning with an assist from fairy tales, used to great contrasting effect.

til tomorrow's show (american vandal)

“If we had died in there,” he says, “your last words to me would have been ‘Oh fuck, ghosts are real. Ghosts are fucking real.’ You good with that?”

“It’s… not ideal.”

truly a holiday miracle: a PITCH-PERFECT story for AMERICAN VANDAL, the greatest television show of this or any decade, in which peter & sam deal with the post-cancellation blues by getting stoned with dylan maxwell and catching a tip to go hunt some ghosts. the voices are peeeerfect, with several notes that just killed me and at least one that legit made me scream out loud with delight. funny & sharp & sweet please go read this if you have watched this the most perfect art of all time.

how you celebrate (the goldfinch)

Theo clears his throat. “So... you flew three thousand miles for me to make you a cake?”

Boris laughs, big and unrestrained. It echoes down the hallway, a reverberation of Borises. “Yes. Yes! I flew three thousand miles so you would make me another cake that tastes like shit. No, you idiot. Fourteen was my best birthday because I spent it with you. I thought, this birthday? What do I want to do? What would make it good?” He points squarely at Theo, pokes him a few times in the ribcage. “Here I am."

basically everything you would want out of a goldfinch yuletide fic: solid, clean writing; great characterization & dialogue, with just enough moments of subtly devastating observation dropped in; sunnier than the source material but not by much. left me equal parts sad and smiling, which feels right!

talk of the town (into the spider-verse)

Okay, look — Miles and him have had their differences lately, especially since Miles started at Visions, but he knows his kid. There’s something about the jerky, excited way Miles moves that Jefferson will always recognize.

hugely sweet but never cloying bite-sized fic about jefferson figuring miles out. their relationship feels familiar and lived-in here, complete with A+ correct bodega ordering, and it managed to carry a real sense of completeness in a very short word count.

my portion of fire (the iliad)

She smiled up at him, his favorite sister Cassandra once more, and told him that his wife had sent her fine wool to help her practice her weaving. “Better to learn now,” she said, “than someday alone in a courtyard in Achaea.”

Because it was one of her good days, she stopped when he flinched. “Not while I live,” he promised.

“Yes,” she said.

i mean, aren't we all just crying about hektor of troy, the one good man with the one loving relationship in the iliad, every day of our lives? this fic brings the hector-appropriate pathos, along with nicely channeling what i think is the right amount of homeric rhythmic weirdness for a setting like this.

#i didn't do this on purpose but #the fandoms represented here taken together feel... very revealing of me as a person/media consumer #fic i like #american vandal #what the fuck was my spiderverse tag #spider mans #mcu #altho is that movie mcu? i feel like it's not... whatever #the goldfinch

[secretradiobrooklyn]

Two Lions In Love Edition | 6.19 & 6.26.21

Secret Radio | 6.19 & 6.26.21 | Hear it here.

 6/19: Juneteenth “Two Lions in Love Edition”

“Tropical use only” — drug salesperson

1. Daddy Don’t - “Bottom Side of Texas”

One of our favorite spots to play in the whole country is the Pilot Light in Knoxville — it’s not just the club, but the neighborhood and really the whole drive into town, digging into the Tennessee mountains. There’s a little St. Louis in its bricks and pathways too. One evening brought us a night with Daddy Don’t, which was a gal on guitar singing songs about the gal on drums, plus a guy onstage strictly to blow bubbles. They seemed so shy and so completely cool. Their set was hilarious and touching and maybe a little stumbly and thoroughly charismatic. I felt an overlap with Birdcloud and Schwervon and ‘90s Olympia but also definitely their own thing. I hope they’re doing cool stuff these days too.

2. Ennio Morricone - “Guerra e Pace Pollo e Brace” - “Grazie Zie” soundtrack

The great music find from the wedding of Josh and Ashleigh. We spent some time recently remembering what a fantastic time that was…

3. Panjabi MC - “Mundian to Bach Ke”

…because we all met up in Chicago this month to celebrate the marriage of Ren and Kiera! It was in the Morton Arboretum, bringing together both American and Indian families in one grand event. The music throughout the evening was lovely, from the ceremony (Josh on solo guitar) through the early events and the meal. Once the dance floor was opened, however, a whole new flavor dropped: the DJ rocked between Nelly and Indian dancefloor music, then over to Michael Jackson, then into Panjabi MC and on and on. We danced our faces off!

- “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” karaoke version with special guest star!

4. Sparks - “The Number One Song in Heaven”

“Gabriel plays it and God how he plays it!” I know everybody’s gonna be talking about Sparks soon because of the doc that just dropped, and it’ll be both from people who know everything about Sparks and from people who are brand-new zealots. Bring it on — I’m so looking forward to learning more about these guys… especially because, in just over a month, on August 6, there’s going to be a whole other film dropping that we’ve been looking forward to for years. It’s called “Annette,” and it’s directed by Carax, who did “Holy Motors” and “Lovers on the Bridge” — it’s his first movie in English and his first musical. But check this: Sparks wrote all the music! The cast includes Adam Driver, Marion Cotillard, Angèle AND Russell Mael … I mean, we couldn’t be any more excited for this film. It’s entirely possible that it won’t work at all, but it’s also entirely possible that it turns out to be the combined efforts of some of the most interesting artists working today.

5. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou - “Noude Ma Gnin Tche De Me”

We met up with Theo Welling recently just off Atlantic Avenue at a place with a questionable name and a brothel theme but a pretty epic back patio. Not only were there chandeliers and a disco ball hanging from the broad branches of the tree overhead, but the music was DEAD ON our tastes. When this song came on, it was like: they got us. There was some Francis Bebey a little later on, I mean it was the very stuff. And the thing is, this song totally rocked that patio. Because T.P. rules.

This is from Analog Africa’s crucial T.P. collection, “Echos Hypnotiques.”

6. Elsa - “Ecoutez”

The energy in French records from the ‘60s is crackling hard — this one 

We picked up this record at Dave’s Records when we were in town for Ren and Keira’s wedding. It happened to be Record Store Day as well, so we went to Dave’s Records, an old favorite with a “CDs — Never Had Em, Never Will” sign in the window. “They powered through CDs,” says Paige. That sign is this relic of them living through the ‘90s and ‘00s, really.”

7. Velvet Underground - “White Light/White Heat”

Theo was wearing a Lou Reed Transformer shirt that night and we spent some time talking about this crazy band. I feel like this track is the ultimate experience of VU where they find the most ragged frayed edge of pop music to ride and they spend the whole song there, until the end when they jump on the song like leopards on an antelope and start attacking it. But the song resists, takes off running, and actually gets quite a long ways before it is finally taken down. The ending sounds like a brutal act of nature.

8. Sroeng Sari - “Kuen Kuen Lueng Lueng”

It took me a while to stop and actually listen to this song — the opening riff is kind of blinding. You stare into that riff and think that you’re gonna have to deal with a whole version of “Iron Man,” but on the other side of the riff lies a fascinating new riff and completely independent verse shape. (I have no idea if the lyrics relate to the concept of “Iron Man.”) In fact, it turns out the riff is practically only used like a sample within the structure of the song, and it’s mainly not Iron Man at all. 

9. [REDACTED] Keep an eye out for the Extended Drunk Scarface Cut Edition.

[9. Paige Brubeck as Scarface & Tony S. in - “Favorite Gangster Friend” feat. Chumbawumba]

10. Midnight Oil - “The Power and the Passion”

Paige was a little too late for Midnight Oil, but she’s extremely receptive to an ideologically, ecologically driven band. “If I had heard that band when I was listening to ska music, I would have fuggin loved this band. I think I would have listened to this band a lot. The part of me that likes Reel Big Fish and the Pietasters… it’s very punk and then when the horns come in it’s like, Oh yeah I love this stuff.”

For me: I love the drum solo. It’s such an interesting full-length exploration of a few different ideas, and it helps point out the ways that the percussion operates in Midnight Oil songs. The overdubbed variations on the singer’s voice reminds me of techniques we used in Bound Stems. I really like that way of recording multiple emotions within a single line and just kind of smashing them together for a multi-faceted take on the lyric. I feel like “Jane Says” was the first recording where I noticed that approach. I also love the crescendo structure to the whole song. But to me, this feels like a song that was built to be played live but someone thought should be represented on the album. I think the transitions between the A, B and C parts are weird and unfinished, even though each of the parts is really good.

11. Phuong Dung - “Do Ai”

What a truly incredible voice… and the guitar accompaniment only slowly reveals its depth and litheness through the course of the song.

12. Group Inerane - “Ikabkaban”

This was a lucky discovery. It’s as much a state of mind as a recording of a song. The sound is very live and not ideal, which I do think ultimately makes it more interesting. There’s something about live recordings that can be embarrassing and compromised… or it can feel like lightning in a bottle. I think this one feels special. This sounds to me like desert blues. These are some of the notes on the track itself: “This album by the rebellious Tuareg musicians from Niger is certainly more hypnotic and less ecstatic than the first (which was recorded at a wedding celebration). It should be said that the guitarist Adi Mohamed, who played on the first album, was shot dead in a skirmish between the nomads and junta forces.”

Yow.

13. The Lemon Twigs - “As Long As We’re Together” (video version)

Now I should just say A) this is the video version of the song, and B) that’s the real version of the song as far as I’m concerned. This video is a perfect thing, at least to me. It was directed by Autumn de Wilde, who went on to direct the film “Emma,” which was one of the most enjoyable pieces of art we saw during the pandemic. (She initially got notice as a photographer before going into music videos.) The recording is masterful, with an intentionally pushed back main vocal and all kinds of panned effects both minimal and baroque. These guys were all teens when they wrote and recorded this song with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, which only makes it more (annoyingly?) brilliant. Also: this is our candidate for the song likeliest to get stuck in your head.

That video (I love the ending): 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ4nqnVOfMo

- Nisar Bazmi - “Aesi Chal Main”

Pakistani music from a collection labeled “Folk and Pop Instrumentals 1966-1976.” It’s easy to imagine this as a folk song, but the instrumentation is so radically electric that it feels like new information being learned on the spot.

14. Katty Lane - “Ne Fais Pas La Tête” 

Another live recording. Actually, that’s probably not true: it’s a recording from a TV of a TV appearance that Katty made, almost certainly lip-synching the vocals. But it sounds better than the album version to us. Katty Lane is going for a cross between Nancy Sinatra and Brigitte Bardot, and it’s really interesting how close she gets but how far away she remains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T4gWLi5RUw

15. Ezra Furman - “I Lost My Innocence”

Man, the rhythmic arrangement of the opening verse knocks me out. The production on this whole album really, but the minimalist rhythmic clarity that comes from splitting the beat among a variety of instruments is so amazing. As a drummer I just find the pattern-building in this song enviable.

We got to know these songs well during a tour we did with Ezra Furman. The whole band is full of heavy hitters, including Tim Sandusky, the guy who recorded the album and plays a variety of instruments there and live. He’s one of my favorite musical brains, period, and “Transangelic Exodus,” the album this comes from, is one of my favorite pieces of album production, period.

16. Voilaaa - “Pas bon”

These are apparently contemporary people! This album is from 2015. I think Josh pointed us to this one.

17. Francois and the Atlas Mountains - “La Verité”

This a band Paige came across a couple of years ago, at 2222 Jefferson I believe. This chorus is a true tonguetwister and thus irresistable to try to sing along with. The melody is really strong, and check out how the guitar enters the solo!

18. Ata Kak - “Daa Nyinaa”

We had an amazing night in the back patio zone we share with our building. Dexter had a few friends over including a dude named KG who turned out to be super interesting on a variety of subjects. As we were talking about music he brought up Ata Kak, whose “Obaa Sima” we’ve played on here and who we absolutely love. Paige disappeared inside and came back with our tape of this whole album. He fell out, like what are we doing with this thing? I started telling the whole back story of how the album was discovered in a street tent in Ghana by the guy from Awesome Tapes From Africa, and eventually after many adventures actually tracked down Ata Kak, who was surprised to be found and even more surprised to find that the tape Awesome Tapes had found was distorted and ran way faster than originally intended. But then KG started playing that original tempo track, which does indeed sound comPLETely different. I still haven’t been able to find a way to get ahold of that original track. “Daa Nyinaa” is another banger off the same tape. The man just has a really great sense of what makes a hook.

19. Sakuran Zensen - “Taxi Man” 錯乱前戦　タクシーマンのMVです

This was a video that flickered through my feed a couple of years ago, I think thanks to Steve Scariano (not Steve Pick as I claim aloud). I don’t think a single recommendation of Steve Scariano has ever been the wrong answer — the man has impeccable taste. This song has all of the rock and all of the roll PLUS a ladder. It’s a strong song and an even stronger video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNmubstNGFs

20. New York Dolls - “Looking for a Kiss”

As soon as we were in the nasty distortion of Sakuran Zensen it was probably inevitable that we would go looking for the New York Dolls. The live performance of this song is worth the price of admission… and the drummer looks like one of the brothers from The Lemon Twigs!

21. Mina - “La verità”

Sometimes Italian is the only language that will do. It does tend to have its own melodic shapes separate from French. I adore the way she goes for the high notes in the chorus only to get to the climax, which is her dropping down into her lowest register to bitterly and sarcastically deliver the title phrase: “La verità:” “the truth.” I know just enough Italian to catch that her final declaration is “Sono stato io,” or: “It was me.”

22. Pylon - “Cool”

Pylon has been back in the news recently thanks to a big ol’ rerelease at the 40 year mark, and it’s a great way to get more in touch with a band that lies at the source of so much music we love. They are every bit as cool as the song.

23. Dalida - “Aghani Aghani”

Dalida is Egyptian born, in an Italian household, who first gained fame singing in French — or in Italian to French audiences. She ended up singing in 10 languages in all. She is a blockbuster French star with no parallel, though she died young by her own hand. “Aghani Aghani” is an Arabic medley that became a gigantic hit all across the Arab world and has since entered the fabric of the language and culture.

24. Betti-Betti & T.P. Orchestre Poly Rythmo de Cotonou - “Mbala”

We have been falling deeper and deeper for Betti-Betti’s songs. This one has so many of my favorite things that she does — the fantastic melodies that cycle past each other, the expressive horn lines, and the mouth percussion that totally transforms the song for me. We just recently got a different album of hers that we’re also really excited about; that one features an entirely different band in a different style. This one is T.P. though, those consummate collaborators, and this song is an epic joining of forces.

- Mulatu Astatke + Black Jesus Experience - “Mulatu”

25. Nick Drake - “Pink Moon”

Oh that strawberry moon with its red halo.

[nothingneverforever]

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I remember sitting through the first episode of this series with my mom, thinking that it wasn't the best option for us to commit to, worrying that it would be a waste of our precious mother-daughter bonding time. The pacing of the first/second episode was too.. American, the emotional expressions too unsubtle, leaving little room for my audience participation, the acting too stilted, and the actors behaving too much like stage thespians .. and because I'd chosen the series after seeing rave reviews online, I remember sitting through the first episode thinking, huh, this is the shit people been losing their minds over?

And then.... suddenly, quickly, it became one of the most deeply affecting and disturbing shows I'd experienced, and thus eventually, one of my favourites. I'm deciding to write this now, about 9 months after I finished the series, because I've just started on The Haunting of Bly Manor, which is described as a "follow-up" series to Hill House. The narratives are not connected, but much of the cast and crew are the same, which is nice because I was so so so so so impressed with the acting of these specific returning actors in Hill House, and after reading a little more into the production process, I've been allowed to understand that the crew is fucking epic and genius as fuck too. I love this series!!!!!

The title of a Youtube video that I love a great deal on this series, by one of my absolute favourite film analysis video essayists, Ladyknightthebrave, is: Stretching Genre - A Haunting of Hill House Video Essay. And maybe this is what I'll talk about first - genre. I've never particularly cared for 'horror' because I'd rather be able to engage with themes and tropes I can relate to in my own life, stories that resemble my own world from my own ever-romantic perspectives. I've always wanted to delve into horror, to appreciate the elaborately designed surfaces as well as be affected in whatever ways by any depth of conversation or concept, but I don't think I've ever been able to achieve any of this. I've tried to enjoy both superficially (i.e. entertainment value) and also more real-ly many horror productions, but always left with a deep sense of meh.  Crimson Peak (which I reviewed here back in 2016) might be the closest I've come to engaging genuinely with anything from this broad genre, but even then I think I liked it more for its kitsch value, its beautiful beautiful beautiful soundtrack, than for the genre-specific parts of the narrative. But I mean, everything makes a film right? The soundtrack and the costumes and the acting are the horror elements in themselves too, I know.

Even then, a lot of the simple reactions I've read for Hill House are ones of surprise, where audiences went in not realizing that a series with the words The Haunting of.. in its title would leave them feeling utterly heartbroken, distraught (sad), emotionally-invested as it were any other drama series. In that Ladyknightthebrave video I mentioned, at multiple points in her essay she says, simply, "hey,... I'm sad" when referencing a particular scene or conversation. And that was, too, my overwhelming reaction to the whole series.... I'm sad!!!!!

Perhaps I should describe the plot a little first.. so the Cranes are a family of 7, mother and father and 5 lovely children: in descending order of age, they are Steve, Shirley, Theo, and twins Luke and Eleanor (Nelly). Here is the official synopsis:

This modern reimagining of the Shirley Jackson novel follows siblings who, as children, grew up in what would go on to become the most famous haunted house in the country.. Now adults, they are forced back together in the face of tragedy and must finally confront the ghosts of their past. Some of those ghosts still lurk in their minds, while others may actually be stalking the shadows of Hill House.

And, from wikipedia, here are some of the notable reviews of the series:

Corrine Corrodus of The Telegraph graded the series with a 5/5 rating, calling it "the most complex and complete horror series of its time." Brian Tallerico of RogerEbert.com gave unanimous praise to the Netflix adaptation, describing it as "essential viewing," and stated that "[the show] contains some of the most unforgettable horror imagery in film or television in years." David Griffin of IGN gave the series a rating of 9.5 out of 10, calling it "a superb and terrifying family drama," and Paul Tassi of Forbes described it as "absolutely fantastic" and stated that "it may actually be Netflix's best original show ever."

Horror author Stephen King, who holds considerable admiration for Jackson's novel, tweeted about the series, "I don't usually care for this kind of revisionism, but this is great. Close to a work of genius, really. I think Shirley Jackson would approve, but who knows for sure."

Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, in interview with The Jerusalem Post said, "My favorite Netflix series, with no competition, is The Haunting of Hill House."

Due to obvious reasons I give zero fucks about what either King or Tarantino might have to say about, uhh, anything on this planet, but YASSSS RETWEET everything above!!! It is essential viewing!!! Indeed the most complex and complete series of its time!!! Unforgettable imagery!!!

Okie so now on to my own original thots... 

My main learning was this: Horror, i.e. the presence of something horrific, for it's characters in the show/story, isn't about feeling frightened or them 'losing their minds' or being driven to questioning their own perceptions of reality or anything like what we've seen in the last 7 decades or so of seeing the genre develop and evolve. In Mike Flanagan's beautiful ode to Shirley Jackson's incredible story, we come to understand that horror is only ever about genuine trauma. I guess, like I talked about earlier, I never really understood what horror's raison d'etre was at all.. like... why?? What is the greater, lasting impact of having audiences shaking in their boots? What is intended by eliciting a gasp or a scream? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!

I asked, and I've been asking and asking for years, and finally Hill House provided: Horror is, in fact, about unspeakable pain.. Pain that has no outlet in a world that will only ever be skeptical of such experiences... it's about being genuinely haunted in such a way that you can never dream of stability in your life ever again; it's about developing into a closed-off, maladjusted adult, knowing that your experiences of early life cannot be related to anyone else's in any way, not even that of your siblings. I remember taking away this lesson very early on in the series, possibly midway through the second episode. Because the siblings (Steve, Shirley, Theo, Luke, Nelly) are all utterly flawed and thus 'real' characters, we're able to quickly why they are the ways they are. (Important note: the siblings are not flawed in ways that make them unlikable at all, or unrelatable, or downright unpleasant to watch - this is a flaw that other productions have definitely fallen prey to before in the name of achieving that 'realness' however Hill House judges things so perfectly that we are endeared to their flaws and never put off by them.) Their disparate experiences with Hill House growing up, their subsequent very personal meaning-making journeys (some looking more like denial, some resulting in substance dependency), their different levels of having access to the 'truths' about what went on in that cursed home, all of this meant that the siblings ended up, where we see them in 'current day', being broken adults with a lot of misplaced anger, unprocessed trauma, and resentment toward one another. It is the aloneness in all their experiences that is the true horror, and the horrors were a very personal, existential kind and so there was no room for mutual bonding and sharing until it was too late, until their babiest of baby sisters had lost herself to the pressures calling her ‘home’.

And suddenly, I realised: this is the true evil. Ghosts don't ruin lives by doing a good epic scare here and there or by turning your irises white by revealing some fucking scary shit: ghosts are seriously... so... fucking... evil because they ruin your whole entire lives..!!! Horrifying realities take the form of many different things, even if they all originate from one main source. The Crane siblings, as children, had to deal at once with their mother being predisposed to falling victim to the spirits of the house due to, as hinted, mental health conditions of her own, while also dealing with differently confusing aspects of a house and a home that taunted them by making them feel unsafe and secure all at once. Now I say all this from an.. artistic appreciation pov, because I am myself unconvinced that the 'supernatural' or anything of a spiritual realm influences our daily lives. Which is all the more significant, right? That a ""skeptic"" like myself (although I'm not an insensitive and stubborn over-rationalizing dumb male like Steve is in the show) could suddenly realise the tragic effects on many many vulnerable souls of a world that clutching on to its medical models and objective scientific truths.

From the series' wiki page: The Haunting of Hill House received critical acclaim, particularly for its acting, directing, and production values, with many calling it an "effective ghost story."

So yea... finally I know what that means. Finally I know what effect a ghost story can and should have. Finally I understand the potential of the genre!!! Sigh there is literally SO much I could say about how and why this is the best series in the world but maybe I'll stop here for now..? There would be no end if I were to discuss everything because it's one of those series that has 'easter eggs', in the form of hidden ghosts (visual) lurking in the dark or specific lines that foreshadow something else later on, but I've never really cared much to 'reveal' these things so yea, go forth and enjoy this best show everrrrr :-)

(For example there is a lot of discussion online about how each of the 5 siblings represent the 5 different stages of grief à la Kübler-Ross, with the eldest Steve being in complete denial that there was ever any supernatural presence to explain their experience, Shirley reacting with sheer anger to all around her, Theo bargaining her way through her own internal conflicts, Luke being surrounded by swirling depression fueling his drug dependency, and Nell eventually accepting the so-called inevitable, etc etc etc but this kinda analysis is a little too lowbrow and heavy-handed for me to get into so yea haha)

There is a specific dialogue that I want to reference however on my way out: when Nell's suicide/death is revealed early in the series, Shirley has the difficult talk with her young children about it. And these 2 simple lines umm basically summarize the entire plot:

Shirley's son: Why did she die? Shirley: I don't know.. I'm just so sad that she did

Everyone watching the show would relate to that immediately but also that sentiment rings more and more and more true as the episodes come to reveal what a painfully innocent and giving soul Nell was... :(

So sad !!!!!

----------

Edit: copying below my mom’s initial thoughts after I forced her to read this post hehe, because her words describe a lot of what I think and feel too, and because I want to remember our discussion and reflection forever!

Each of us -  lives scarred at some time – in some private way – religion drowns it, cosmetises – but horror – is the Couch of reflection, reliving and something of a letting it out.  Feeling again the horror/fear/anxiety/pain/aloneness of that  real trauma – but in an shared room, even if only shared with an older, saner, wiser, learning you.

[michair-vn-blog]

12 Reasons That We Should Buy Clip-In Hair Extensions

Clip-ins are actually the least damaging of all extension types and way less risky than the permanent kind. The great thing about your clip in hair extensions is that you can remove them after a few hours and give your hair a break. In case you’re still worried because it is your first time you decide to buy a clip in hair extensions, we’ve decided to break down the biggest concerns to give you a bit more peace of mind with the 12 reasons that we should buy clip in hair extensions. Here, we will tell you about the reasons that make clip in hair extensions become your favorite products in the long run.

Advantage 1: Suitable for special events

Clip in hair extensions is our most popular product which makes our most popular hair extension product. Clip in hair extensions is the most effective and easiest way to change your hairstyle. Hair extensions are suitable for almost any occasion, whether you are attending a wedding, first date, class reunion or going on vacation, clip in hair extensions will make your hair look very different and make your hair look healthy and full. The benefits of hair extensions are not limited to updos. Use clip-in extensions to increase the volume and length of curly hair and braids to provide you with the princess hair you always wanted.

Advantage 2: Low maintenance

Remy clip in hair extensions is low maintenance hair extensions. Because it is simple to install and can be installed or removed at home, there is no need to ask a professional hairstylist for easy operation. Since the best clip in hair extensions are made of 100% human hair, daily maintenance is just like maintaining your own hair, no extra care is needed.

Advantage 3: Little damage

The clip-in hair extension consists of multiple pieces. You can determine the weight of the clip-on hair extension according to your hair volume, and you can remove it at any time. Therefore, it will not cause excessive stress on your hair, which will cause your hair to be thin or damaged, so don't worry.

Phần mở rộng tóc clip-in bao gồm nhiều phần. Bạn có thể xác định trọng lượng của phần mở rộng tóc theo khối lượng tóc của bạn và bạn có thể loại bỏ nó bất cứ lúc nào. Do đó, nó sẽ không gây căng thẳng quá mức cho tóc, khiến tóc bạn bị mỏng hoặc hư tổn, vì vậy đừng lo lắng.

Advantage 4: Increase confidence

Everyone knows the destructive power of bad hair, but wearing clip-in extensions can fix any problems and make sure the hair is flawless. Clip-in hair extensions will give you full, thick hair that will give you the confidence you need to be yourself. Giving you a self-esteem boost, along with longer and thicker hair, you can confidently show everyone just how great you're looking and doing.

Advantage 5: Safe and natural

One of the main factors to consider when wearing hair extensions is whether it will affect your natural hair quality, safety, and potential damage to your hair? clip-in extensions are currently one of the simplest and safest hair extension types. It uses clips to install hair extensions and does not require any adhesives, glues and other chemical products and heating tools to install. This is very safe for your hair and will hardly cause damage to your hair.

Advantage 6: Multi-style

Clip in hair extensions come in a variety of hair colors, hair types, and weights. You can choose your favorite clip hair extensions according to color, black hair extensions, brown hair extensions, blond clip-in extensions, and red clip-in extensions. There are always clip in hair extensions that are right for you. These different color clip in hair extensions bring you different changes, enhance your appearance, be different, and be eye-catching in the crowd.

Advantage 7: No commitment

Clip-in hair extensions are temporary. Clip-in human hair extensions are easy to install into your hair, which means you can change your hairstyle and appearance at any time. It can be worn on special occasions, giving you the princess's hair or winding it up. If you don't like it, you can remove them yourself to reduce stress on your hair. No one promises that you will have only one hairstyle in a few weeks, such as tape in extensions or u tip hair. It allows you to have moments of regret, relax and try boldly.

Advantage 8: Clip-in hair extensions can prevent breakage and thinning

Clip-in extensions use very small combs. This can go a long way towards preventing the breakage and thinning of your hair. If your hair is brittle or otherwise not in good health, this is a key factor in maintaining your hair. The small combs will clasp securely onto your hair. As a result, they will not tug painfully if they have been set in place correctly.

The combs are also a great option for the health of your hair. They don’t bring the risk of pulling out your hair when you remove them. If you remove the clip-in combs carefully, you should not snag or break your natural hair. This is due to the fact that the clip-ins do not place direct pressure onto the roots. With the placement of an extension a half inch away from the root, you will be allowing the area to breathe freely even after you've added several pieces. Advantage 9: The clips won’t pull your hair extensions out

This is so not true! The clips have a little rubber strip on them which stops the hair extensions from slipping and gives them a better grip on your hair. As they have a strong hold, they won’t pull or snag at your hair or cause any damage. There are also several clips on one weft to evenly distribute the weight making them safer for your hair. If you have fine hair though you could always sew extra clips onto your wefts to distribute the weight even further.

Advantage 10: Clip-in hair extensions can not cause hair loss

Clip-in extensions don’t cause any more damage to your hair than wearing it in a super tight pony. However, we don’t advise you wear them everyday or for a really long length of time. If you use them occasionally and look after the condition of your hair you won’t see any damage at all. All hair extension methods cause tension on your strands but the best thing about clip-in hair extension is that you can take them out to avoid any damage. If you want to wear them more often it’s worth considering a shorter and lighter set that will be gentler on your strands.

Advantage 11: Clip-in hair extensions won’t stop your real hair from growing

Clip-in extensions won’t stop your hair from growing. In fact, most people use hair extensions while growing out a haircut they don’t like or until their hair gets to the length they want. As long as you don’t cause any damage to your hair by making any of the mistakes above, your hair will grow exactly as normal.

Advantage 12: Multi-style

Clip-in hair extensions come in a variety of hair colors, hair types, and weights. You can choose your favorite clip-in hair extensions according to color, black hair extensions, brown hair extensions, blond clip-in extensions, and red clip-in extensions. There are always clip-in hair extensions that are right for you. These different color clip in hair extensions bring you different changes, enhance your appearance, be different, and be eye-catching in the crowd.

If you wear your extensions every now and again, remove them when you’re sleeping and keep them in good condition then they won’t damage your hair at all. Have some more questions? Let us know in the comments box below!

[keywestlou]

NUMBERS TALK, BULLSHIT WALKS

Day 34 of my self-quarantine. I’m beginning to enjoy it. Worries me.

We are all familiar with the poker phrase…..Money talks and bullshit walks. I have altered it a bit to use as my introductory topic: Numbers talk, bullshit walks.

Very simple.

On March 15 there were 67 coronavirus deaths in the U.S. As of yesterday morning, 22,021. In just short of one month!

Donald, you should be ashamed!

I do not blame Trump for the virus. I do blame him for not taking effective action earlier. He was more concerned with the economy than the lives of “his people.” In this regard, Trump does have blood on his hands.

He now is apparently considering taking a bath in it.

Trump is anxious to get the economy going. Get people back to work. Make the corporations happy. See the stock market go up again.

From his perspective, the key to his victory in November.

He has told us he is establishing a Second Task Force. This one to do with when to restart the economy. He has said May 1 and May with no definitive date.

The new Task Force will primarily consist of corporate representatives. Business America.

Great thinking!

I don’t care how many face masks or testing kits corporate America has donated or will be donating. They will not be interested in the health of the American people. CEO’s are concerned about the bottom line of their company’s profit and loss statement. Period!

CEO’s jobs are to generate profit for their corporations and satisfy shareholders.

They will not be thinking coronavirus and the health of the people of the U.S. first. Not their job. It is Trump’s however. And in the end there is no question he will use their recommendation to rerun to work as license to call at least some sections of the U.S. back to work.

It will be the Last Supper for many called and some not called. Trump will have automatically increased the number of bodies available to the corona virus.

Andrea Bocelli brought happiness to an otherwise sad world yesterday. His performance in Milan was outstanding! What people world wide needed.

His performance was streamed world wide. I missed it. However, caught it earlier this morning. Bocelli yesterday is available all over the internet.

He sang inside and out of the Duomo Cathedral.

Some of the inside shots show the gigantic round pillars. It was behind one of these in the back on the inside of the pillar that I fell asleep. Thought no one could find me.

Wrong, I was. Must be a favorite hiding place for homeless and tourists like me who need a place to nap.

My friend Jim Brown lives on Crete. We have never met. However have corresponded for several years. Met via the internet.

He e-mailed yesterday: We live in troubled times, he wrote. So correct. He thought a good understanding of our present concerns can be found in the song That’s Life, sung by Frank Sinatra.

Jim sang it on video and sent me a copy.

He was correct. The words fit.

It was Greek day yesterday again. Heard from 2 other friends.

Theos wrote. He has been a frequent visitor to Key West over the years. I am not the only friend he has made. He is close to Pasta Pantaleo in Islamorada. Pasta’s real name Roberto. However is called Pasta by everyone.

I have never met Pasta. He is an artist. Operates the Signature Gallery. In the “Heart of Downtown Islamorada” as he describes it.

Theos wrote to tell me that Pasta refers to me as Mango Man. Why? How?

On occasion, I have run off to Islamorada to spend a weekend. Occasionally there is a need to get out of Key West. Off the rock as the locals describe it.

Islamorada is just far enough away. A one hour forty five minute drive. A quiet community. Not Key West. Some great restaurants. The next time, I will make it my business to meet Pasta.

One interesting point. I have met many Islamorada residents in the Chart Room. They come down to Key West to vacation a couple of days. Works both ways.

Another person of Greek origin yesterday. “Greek.” Her last name and the name everyone refers to her as.

I have not seen Greek in years. I first met her when she bartended at Square One. At least 20 years ago. The last time I ran into her was on the street about 5 years ago.

Greek liked me. She was protective. She wanted to be sure no evil spirit would hurt me. She gave me a little brass trinket to wear. I forget what it looked like. It was to ward off bad spirits. She told me to wear it every day. I did for 2 years. Why I stopped, I don’t know.

Greek e-mailed me yesterday. I assume because of the blog. It was good to hear from her. She is now a realtor.

Additional Trump time.

Trump lies. We all know it. Something like 16,000 plus times since becoming President.

He lies about China and the timeliness of their warning. He is seeking a scapegoat for his failure to timely move his ass re the virus.

The true facts indicate more than 400,000 persons from China were admitted into the U.S. after Trump became aware. Even worse, after he imposed the ban against China, 40,000 plus additional persons were admitted from China.

Trump may be getting ready to fire Fauci. I am surprised Fauci lasted this long. Fauci is smarter, does not lie, and has been in conflict re covid-19 with Trump. Trump follows his own advice rather than that of the scientist all America trusts.

A tweet by another started flying around the internet last night. With a hashtag: FireFauci.

Trump is upset because Fauci said, Earlier measures “could have saved lives.” Also, it “would have been nice if we had a better head start.”

Fauci wanted to do social and physical measures as early as February and Trump refused. Fauci also does not believe in hydroxyehl as Trump does.

The worse to come in a few days. Trump dislikes people getting more publicity than he. Fauci will appear on on the cover of The New Yorker. The article is titled: “The Most Troubled Man in America.”

Russia and the Saudis have been fighting over oil. Both are getting killed. The price of crude has dropped dramatically.

In the meantime, the U.S. continues to be in good shape oil wise.

Putin is our enemy. I consider the Saudis our enemy also. Neither has done anything but screw the U.S. for years. Now Trump helps the 2 to make a deal to save their economic asses. Not the U.S.’s.

In order to accomplish the result, Trump agreed to do his “friends” a favor. Drop the U.S. price of oil to make the deal work.

Again Trump gave something away with no benefit coming to the U.S.

“Our friends” will screw us the first opportunity they get and every time thereafter. Trump once again bullshitted!

Enjoy your day!

  NUMBERS TALK, BULLSHIT WALKS was originally published on Key West Lou

[joneswilliam72]

The Great Recession of 2008, desperation, and the documentary of the Great Cocaine Treasure Hunt: meet director Theo Love & Rodney Hyden.

We love a great based on a true story flick at The 405 Film. It's one of our favorite things to cover for a variety of reasons, but above all because – quite often – truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Such is the case in Netflix's wildly entertaining, documentary tale of quintessentially American desperation, dreams of wealth, and the power of mythic storytelling: The Legend of Cocaine Island, out now on the streaming giant.

The Legend of Cocaine Island tells the true story of a Florida man (Rodney Hyden) who came into hard times – like so many – with the Great Recession of 2008. Hyden owns a construction business in central Florida (a state hit harder than most others) which was booming until the real estate bubble burst and triggered a huge part of this story.

Yet, what makes the story different is the tale Rodney was told by his neighbor Julian. You see Julian lived in Puerto Rico for a time years before, when one day he found a suspicious… package, on the beach. Inside – according to Julian – was roughly $2 million worth of cocaine. Apparently, a trafficker mistakenly dropped it either out at sea or in the air and it washed up on Julian's beach.

As Julian did not want to involve Puerto Rican police, who likely would not have believed he was innocent in all this – he generally wanted to avoid that hassle – he decided to bury the package near the trailer he was living in at the time and leave it there.

This became a "southern fairy tale" as it got passed around bonfires in Florida with each telling from Julian and others who heard and retold it. That is, until Rodney Hyden heard it, and decided he was going to try to find the cocaine and cure his post-Recession financial woes. Will he succeed? What will happen with this strange tale of desperation and the American dream? You'll have to watch the film to find out – trust me, you won't regret it.

Theo Love – the mind behind the 2013 documentary Little Hope Was Arson, about a series of 2010 church arsons in East Texas – director of Cocaine Island, took a novel approach to telling this story. Rodney Hyden plays himself in the film, with his daughter and wife also making appearances. It was a tremendous gamble which really paid dividends in Love's final product that is the film.

(L-R) Rodney Hyden and Theo Love at a 2018 event for THE LEGEND OF COCAINE ISLAND. Source:IMDb

Check out our interview with Hyden and Love below – we talk film-making, myth-making, great movies, the Florida Man Challenge and much more. And check out The Legend of Cocaine Island on Netflix worldwide now.

Hello Theo and Rodney.

RH: Hey, how you doing?

I'm great. How are you guys?

RH: Good.

TL: Doing good. Doing good. We're excited to be putting the movie out but a little nervous, too.

It was fantastic, and I just have to ask as the first question. Not totally related, but a little related. Have either of you guys done the Florida Man Challenge that's going around social media right now?

RH: No.

TL: No, I haven't. I just heard about it today. This is the second time it's come up, so I should probably do this today. Rodney, we should do it together.

[Laughs] Could be interesting.

RH: Tell me what I'm getting into first before we make that decision, Theo.

Yeah, it's googling "Florida Man", then your birthday (month and day), and you're supposed to share the first article that comes up.

RH: Oh, wow.

Like for instance, mine was Florida Man gets sent back to jail after not paying taxi that picked him up from jail.

[Both Laugh]

TL: That's a good one.

But yeah, it made me think of that with this story's very Florida-centric nature. Yeah. Rodney, what was going through your head when you finally decided to pursue Julian's story?

RH: Nothing was going through my head until I was approached about it. That's as simple as I can answer it.

Interesting. Did you ever think that something like The Legend of Cocaine Island would come out of it?

RH: Absolutely not. I mean, come on. When Theo called me, I didn't believe it would ever happen. Come on. It's surreal. Totally surreal.

TL: Yo. Yo Rodney, you said that you were waiting for somebody from Hollywood to call you when I first called.

RH: Yes. Hollyweird.

Rodney Hyden in Florida. Still from THE LEGEND OF COCAINE ISLAND. Source:Netflix

[Laughs] Well, there you go. Theo, I was curious, what was it about the story that made you wanted to do it in a documentary format versus doing it in a more conventional format like a fictionalized true story or based on a true story?

TL: I look for true stories, and I am leaning towards narrative. That's a goal of mine, but a lot of times when you are researching these true stories, the real people who lived the events are better than any actor you could get, and people like to tell their own side of the story.

Absolutely.

TL: Rodney wanted to make sure that this was accurate, and that we portrayed him the way he was. Frankly, we were a tiny little indie film, and we wouldn't be able to do it justice. But kind of doing it in the documentary form allowed this to have that anchored in realism to it.

Another interesting thing about it that I found really cool was the way that you did it almost as mythic storytelling. Mythic in the sense that it's a big story, it's what you would think would be an improbable story, and I was curious what your process was like in writing it to accent that?

TL: Yeah. Pretty early on, we realized that this was a story about storytelling, and the power of storytelling. Growing up, and honestly still to this day, a lot of times when I'm hanging out with my friends it's sitting around… and drinking, and we're smoking and telling stories. Rodney and his group of friends out there in Archer [Florida], they had the life that I wish I could have, but I'm in L.A. making movies. But just the whole atmosphere of how this came about was really attractive. Then, when I actually met the storyteller, Julian, he's this barefooted hippie. He looks like kind of like Gandalf, and he's just larger than life. Wouldn't you describe him like that, Rodney?

RH: Pretty much except ... yeah. Don't forget the bottle of wine. He loves wine.

TL: Yeah.

Gandalf if Gandalf lived in Florida [Laughs]. Yep.

RH: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

A question for both of you, I'm sure there's probably many, but any funny or memorable moments that stick out from the process of filming?

RH: Yeah. The digging scene, I'll never forget it 'cause Theo makes you do it about a hundred times. That ground is solid rock, believe me.

[Laughs]

TL: That's hilarious. Rodney agreed to act, and I fully pressed him for it, and I think it wasn't ... at the end of the day, Rodney, are you glad you did it?

RH: Hey, let me say this, I work with two of the most brilliant people and their staff. Now, their crew was excellent, and the little I know about movie and film-making, I think you should call Theo "Mr. Innovation" and that's all I need to say about it.

Nice.

TL: Oh man.

RH: Who else has brought a guy in that lived it and did it, and said "look, you're gonna be a part of it if you want to. I think it was a great experience."

Absolutely. Quite the novel and effective approach.

TL: Rodney, you're gonna make me cry.

RH: I'm being serious.

Yeah.

TL: We just honestly had a blast making this film. We really did, and we got to know all the people who were involved, their friends, and yeah. I hope the audience has half as much fun that we had making this film.

Julian in Florida. Still from THE LEGEND OF COCAINE ISLAND. Source:Netflix

You know, I think they will. I had a hell of a lot of fun watching it. I'll tell you that.

TL: Well, thank you.

RH: Thank you so much.

My pleasure. Thanks for telling the story. Let's see. Looking for that next question there. Rodney, what do you hope people will take away from your story?

RH: That it could happen to anybody. This story could literally happen to anybody, Wess.

Interesting.

[At this point, we had an issue with the phone connection which was quickly resolved]

Let's see. Rodney, if you could do it over again, would you?

RH: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. In the future, hell no. Absolutely.

TL: It's this attitude, Wess, that I heard on the very first call where I called Rodney. I just cold called the guy.

Having worked in sales I have great admiration for that approach Theo.

TL: Called him at this business, and this is how he talks. He is self-aware, and he's able to laugh at himself, and if that was the case for everybody else, it's just a good story. It's just a good story. Is something that we recommend people doing in the future? No, but we might dare you to, but we don't think that you should. But yeah, you could.

Yeah didn't mean to imply that you're recommending it because the film doesn't. There's definitely that playful suggestion at the end which worked really well with Cocaine Island considering the film's tone though.

Julian in the reenactment of the original tale. Still from THE LEGEND OF COCAINE ISLAND. Source:Netflix

Let's see. This is one I had for both of you, although you might be answering it separate. What were the challenges like?

RH: Go ahead, Theo. I want to bother you first.

TL: What were the challenges. Honestly, I think that it was the creative decisions that we were making. It was a bold choice to cast Rodney in these movie moments, these recreations, whatever you want to call them.

Definitely. That was a gamble that paid brilliant dividends.

TL: We were really gambling on that. But when we thought about it, we were like, man, I think that this is just ridiculous enough to be good. That thought that ... and we really felt like we were going out on a limb like, "Oh my gosh, man. The documentary community, they might hate us. We're not making a serious documentary."

[Laughs] the blasphemy! Wonder how many were clutching their pearls?

TL: It shouldn't be this fun making a movie in the Caribbean. It was kind of a dream scenario. As a filmmaker, I feel like I'm never gonna have a more fun set.

That's great. That's excellent you guys had that experience. Theo, one question I like to ask all filmmakers that I talk to, what movies and directors would you consider as the most prolific influences over you?

TL: I would say that ... I grew up watching just the big blockbusters. My family didn't even have a TV until I was in middle school, and we didn't live in a place where there was movie theaters. By the time I got into movies, it was just the big Steven Spielberg blockbusters. When I'm in high school, the big Michael Bay movies.

TL: But then, once I got actually into filmmaking myself, and started to break down kind of who are the filmmakers that I want to emulate, it really leads to the Coen Brothers I'd say more than anybody. I find myself just going back over and over to their movies, and with Cocaine Island, I watched The Big Lebowski quite a few times.

Well, there you go.

It's a very Coen Brothers story, too, when you think about it. Cocaine Island I mean. It's a modern tale of misadventure that does echo the Coens.

TL: Hey, if the Coen Brothers are available to do the remake of this, the narrative version, I will take that meeting [Laughs].

[Laughs] I bet.

Rodney, how about you. Favorite movies?

RH: Favorite movies. Scarface. No, just joking.

[Laughs]

TL: [Laughs]

RH: Grown Ups, Adam Sandler.

Cool.

RH: Yeah.

One that came to mind there, you guys were watching, was it The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly in the hotel suite?

RH: Yeah. When I was a young kid, that's what my dad liked. The early Clint Eastwood Italian movies, and it brought back memories when we chose that scene to watch. Seen it before. Probably seen it 50 times.

Oh, me too with the spaghetti westerns. One of my favorites as well. Let's see. Yeah, another question I'd like to ask everybody. What makes a great movie to you? Kind of a big question.

TL: Yeah. That's a good question. What makes a great movie?

Thank you.

TL: Rodney, you want to go first?

RH: Yeah, I've got a pretty quick answer that didn't take much thinking, and I'm only gonna speak specific about the genre of this movie or documentary. I think the biggest thing was that ... tell me your question again.

What makes a great movie?

RH: In this case, based on what I saw at the film festivals, it's the audiences' reaction and that's all I'm gonna say.

That's interesting.

TL: Whether the audience likes it?

RH: Oh yeah…

TL: That's actually a pretty great answer. What makes a great movie is whether the audience responds to it. We have taken it to a few film festivals, and audiences really enjoy it. That feels amazing as a storyteller and as a filmmaker. Yeah. Good answer, Rodney.

It is a really good answer.

RH: Sitting in the middle of everybody with my hoodie on, nobody knew who I was, and everybody around me was cracking up. It was just great.

Rodney, I've gotten quite the variety of answers to that question in the numerous interviews I've done, but I don't think I've ever got your answer: the audience's reaction. That's a fantastic answer.

RH: [Laughs] There's only one… Let me tell you, man.

It is fantastic. Let's see, actually the last question I had for you guys is what's next for you?

TL: Well, Rodney is gonna be an actor. Right Rodney?

RH: No. No, I'm gonna take an early retirement.

Great.

RH: Let me say for me I'm in the construction industry, and it's just booming right now. I'm just blessed with what I've got, and I never forget this memorable ... one of the most memorable things of making this movie in my life, the other memorable was getting in trouble, but this one really, really was the best. That's what I take with it.

Fantastic. Theo, how about you?

TL: I'm in post on my next feature, a future documentary. Can't talk much about it, but I've got quite a few projects in the works. But I'll let you know when I can give you more details. How does that sound?

Hey, that's great. We'll definitely be watch for it. Yeah, and even your first movie, Little Hope Was Arson is excellent. I watched that the other night, too.

TL: Oh really, wow. Thank you so much. Not a lot of people saw that one, so yeah, that means a lot. Thank you.

Yeah. More should. I try to do that with everybody I interviewed to at least catch one more of theirs…

TL: A lot of journalists sometimes ... yeah. You're going above and beyond. That's all I'll say. That's amazing. Well, cool, I'm glad you enjoyed them. Thanks so much for doing this, and asking us all these questions.

LITTLE HOPE WAS ARSON (2013) trailer.

from The 405 https://ift.tt/2JTxJLN

[crazysabitch-blog]

                                                  Crazy’s A Bitch

                                                Glory

‘The blessings always outweigh the curse,’ my mother always told me. She always stood by that statement to the bitter end.

           If you ask me, life is more like a rabid squirrel, chasing you through a mine field.

Which I guess you could say started when I was nine, when Mom went on to her great rewards in Heaven. My brothers and I stayed behind on Earth, with Dad and our two grandmothers. My very first glimpse at the rabid squirrels you might say.

Mom came from a long line of people of faith. She also came from a long line of looneys, hypocrites and assorted con-artists too. So, you can take your pick in our family.

After all, it’s all about balance people.

I was told all my life Mom nicknamed me Glory because she saw greatness in me.  I remember her telling me I would do something amazing in this world. I always felt like I was on a pedestal while she was here.

My ex-husband however, called my Nutsy.  

See?  Balance.

To be honest, I did come unhinged during my marriage, but let me tell you David was a real winner. The way I see it, if you tear at my last nerve, you deserve what you get. And sometimes it comes in the form of Satan in high heels.

You need to stand your ground in this life. You know what I’m saying?  I may have been blessed with grace in my mother’s eyes, but in mine, I was blessed with a good right hook. Which is I find becomes increasingly necessary as I get older.

Because, let’s face it, most people are idiots.

There’s always somebody running around on somebody, or lying about someone.  Or cheating someone, stealing or beating the system.  And I’ve run into most of those chuckle heads.  Hell, I think they had me on speed dial or something.

Personally, I think I should have been given a medal or something for dealing with my ex-husband, the winner I mentioned before. A saint would want to pull his head off.

Far as I could tell, he wasn’t using it anyway…

In my defense, I married young, without an ounce of sense.

We met at a party. He walked in, and my brain died. There could be no other explanation for it. He just about led me around by the nose, that night. Which ended up lasting seven years. Seven long, crappy years.

David Alverez was a good looking, smooth talking, knuckle dragging, cave dwelling Neanderthal. How’s that for accurate? He could charm the birds out of the trees as my Nana would say.  

Just call me Tweety.

From day damn one we had problems. Problems like, he wanted to be single and free on the outside of our front door, and the Rockstar when he came home. I turned myself inside and out trying please him, hoping to make our commitment to our marriage work.

I thought love could change him. And he was savvy enough to let me believe that.

Huh. The only thing that changed was my self-esteem. It nosed dived off edge of my sanity.

Six years into the marriage and he was still working as a part time mechanic and I was working full time for the New York Transit Authority. We were barely getting by, and he was full of promises, excuses, bad ideas, and get rich schemes.

I am sad to say I fell for it all at first. Year four of our marriage I was in it for the kids. Great plan, right?  And I knew better, that was the worst part, I knew it and I just kept going out of desperation.

The breaking point came when, David had come home late, expecting a hot meal and a quiet wife.  

I got close enough to smell the booze and see a smear of red lipstick that Romeo had missed. “You didn’t get all of her off you, you know,” I said, slapping the back of his dark head as he went past me.

I’m five foot eight inches tall, but David still towered over me at six foot-four.  

He staggered forward. I huffed in disgust. He put his hand out to catch himself on the doorframe.

Then David’s head snapped around. His black eyes were dull, and I wondered how much of his paycheck was left. “You better watch yourself! I don’t need to come home to this shit every damn night. I’m entitled to some time to myself,” he yelled, his face was flushed, and his eyes were getting watery.

David leaned on the faded yellow wallpaper in our tiny kitchen. He smelled of motor oil and stale cigarettes. The three top buttons were undone on his light blue mechanics shirt. He was a well-built man, and he liked showing it off.  

One of the things that caught my attention when we first met, those three damn buttons…

He didn’t seem so seductive at that point in our barely-there kitchen. It was so small that the only way to fit the tiny table and two wire back chairs in there was to shove them up against the wall. So, there wasn’t much wall left for David to lean on.

The living room was even worse, with the thread bare sofas and a stained rug. The kids ate kneeling in front of the nicked-up coffee table for meals. There was a crappy little television we had bought second hand, sitting on a scarred-up desk we had found in the trash outside on a random garbage day.

It was pathetic.

“You need to start taking care of your kids!” I shouted. “I make the money around here and there ain’t much left after the bills are paid. You need to put money into this household and not on some damn slut in a bar!”

The fact that I was still in my transit uniform because I had no time to change after picking up the kids, and rushing around with shopping, dinner and homework; had no effect on David.  

I also had had to dislodge a raisin out of my son’s nose after said dinner, but that’s another story.

“You want a better life? Get a better job,” David slurred at me.

He was slamming around the kitchen, looking for his dinner. The one that was sitting in the garbage. Chicken and rice, his favorite. Too bad.

“The day I got to buy a man, I can damn well afford better than you!” I yelled back, dragging my kids behind me into the bedroom until David went to sleep.

I packed my up my little ones that night. My daughter Cindy was only five at the time and my son Theo was three. I hated to see the confusion and fear in their eyes from my fights with their father. We moved in with my Dad and my two grandmothers.

That was twenty-one years ago.

I am still with the MTA.

I have no regrets, it has great benefits, and my bills are always paid. A nest egg was waiting patiently for me when I retired, decades from now. But it was there.

Cindy and Theo were now adults, out there on their own. Doing their own thing. Cindy thing was going better than Theo’s thing, I have to say.

Cindy was good a fending for herself. Always could come up with the rent, sometimes late, but it got there. She didn’t party, checked in with her family, and paid her parking tickets on time. I had no real issue with my little girl.

Except when it came to men. Like mother like daughter. But honestly, she was drop dead gorgeous. She had long wavy black hair, with my striking blue eyes. She had my mother’s fine bone structure, and a smile that lit up a room. Her only issue? Her weight could creep up on her.

Just like her mother, sorry kid….  

Cindy was like me, a cross between the Latina roots on my mother’s side, and Irish on my father’s side. We got the dark hair and olive complexion from Mom. From Dad we got brilliant blue eyes, and the height. We got great tans in the summer and looked good in a pair of heels. Pretty good genes if you ask me.

Now, Theo was all Latino. Tall, dark and handsome. Girls had been throwing themselves at him since before he hit adolescence. I only wished he would chase jobs down the way he chased women. Some people say I favor my son, not true. I worry myself sick over his antics and his irresponsible ways. Any mother who got frequent phone calls to save their kid’s ass would worry

And sometimes hyperventilate and have a meltdown or two; depending on the call.

That boy is gonna be the death of me. Always scraping by, I should’ve cut him off financially years ago. He drifted from one job to another. But what can I say, he’s Mama’s baby.  

What are you going to do right?

It didn’t help that my Abuela was forever comparing Theo to his cousin Mateo. “Why can’t you get a good job like your cousin? He makes good money, and benefits,” she would harp on him.

This would frustrate Theo to no end.

“Lela, Mateo is in broadcasting!” I would tell her, willing her to keep quiet.

Lela was my childhood nickname for Abuela since I was two. It’s pronounced Lay-la. Something that I passed on to my kids. It’s so damn cute, I don’t care how old we are. It’s cute.

“Huh, well then how about Ricky? He has his own house, a car and takes care of his mother,” Lela shot back, nodding her little knobby head.

“He’s an accountant.” Theo said rolling his eyes.

“What? You can’t count? Excuse me Mr.-I-don’t-even-want-to-try.” she answered looking away and folding her arms.

I had to admit, Lela might be on to something...

Nana Clara, my Dad’s mother, wanted to know why Cindy wasn’t married, or even in the ballpark.

Because Cindy brought home all the broken ones, that’s why. She was her mother’s protégé when it came to men. If there was an award to be given out for collecting idiots and losers, let’s just say, we would be neck and neck right about now.

That didn’t stop me from giving Cindy advice. Not that she ever asked me. Not that that ever stopped me. I am her mother after all. I have to say something. Not that she ever listened to this advice. It went in one ear and out the other.

But my girl had damn well better get better taste in men. Because that last man of hers almost killed me. Him and that slutty Beverly Walker.

I shivered at the thought. A sharp pain suddenly gripped me. I froze.  

A faint whisper of a memory floated by.

Uh-oh. Something bad had happened. It was just on the tip of all that darkness swirling around, painfully in my head. My teeth were suddenly on edge, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath.

“Gloria? Can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes for me. This is Jared, I am a nurse and you’re in the hospital. I need you to open your eyes.” Jared’s loud and intruding voice said from somewhere over me.

My eyes were throbbing, and my mouth was dry enough to spit cotton. All I wanted was to keep drifting back to the dark, comforting space that I was being yanked out of. Why can’t people just leave me alone?  I tried to shift away from Jared.

Noisy thing.

I should slap him I thought.

Pain exploded in me when I moved. I gagged. My tongue was thick, and my lungs felt raw. Had I been in a fire? Dear Lord, did Nana set fire to the kitchen again? Because Dad had proven to be the worst firefighter.

I started making this weird, involuntary clucking noise. What the hell?

And my head felt like it had been hammered to pieces and glued back together with cheapest glue they could find.

“Oh no you don’t. I see you moving. You can hear me. Gloria, open your eyes. The doctor is waiting to see you” he said.

Doctor?!  What doctor? What the flaming hell was he talking about? Oh Damn, that’s right; that skank tried to kill me. It was attempted murder through and through. And I needed to live. I had to make sure Skanky paid for this crap.

My mind raced at the flash of memory.  

It had been about eight thirty in the morning and I had been ready to start my shift. I was driving the one train, from Manhattan to the Bronx. A few people I worked with were on the platform as well. They were heading for the train yard like me.

I had just finished my egg, cheese, and diced jalapeno pepper breakfast sandwich, and was in the middle of gulping down the last of my coffee, when I heard people start whispering around me.

Well, that can’t be good, I thought in the back of my mind. I rolled my head around, trying to find the reason for my new-found attention.

That’s when I saw Skanky, also known as Beverly Walker. I knew it was me she was waiting for. It wasn’t hard to locate her. Somehow, she managed to look like a hooker in a transit uniform.

She was a real sight, Skanky street Walker. Busting out of a uniform, two sizes to small.

The name took off the first time I said it at a union meeting. I couldn’t believe it. But it’s not like she hadn’t earned the name herself, as I had told people countless times. But it had taken quite the imagination to come up with, if I do say so myself.

But she was a whore, no imagination needed for that.

In her first year alone, Beverly had hooked up with a quarter of all the men in our union. It was a joke that she was the unmentioned benefit, that the union was supplying. How anyone could consider a walking STD, a benefit is beyond me.

I personally think Skanky should be sanitized before and after hours. Because, you just don’t know where she’s been. And do you really want to sit anywhere near, where she has parked her lady bits?

Beverly worked hard at getting male attention. She wore heavy makeup, just shy of clown status. The only thing that was beautiful about her was her long blonde curly hair. It was a crowning glory.

Damn her.  

Other than that, she relied on sex and booze to get by with men.  

I have no use for that kind of crap. Especially, when she went after my Cindy’s boyfriend.  

Chris Harper. Just hearing his name could piss me off.

I never liked Chis, not from day one. He was mouthy and shifty eyed. If he had been attentive to Cindy, or even smart, I could have tolerated him. Nope, he was dumber that a bag of rocks. And he was always putting my girl down. I don’t know what Cindy ever saw in him.

But when I caught him and Skanky doing the deed on one the trains that had been put away for the night an unholy rage was unleashed.

First, I videoed the show on my cell phone. Then, I stomped right on in there. You should’ve seen them both trying to pull their pants back up. Chris’s drawers were hanging around his ankles and Skanky was trying to ram here fat rump back into her skinny slacks.  

Would’ve been easier to stuff a squirrel through a keyhole, if you asked me.

Then I beat the crap out of both.  

You would think it would have been harder than it was, but half naked people get really distracted. Even if you are trying to break their necks.

Chris was scooting around on his bare ass, with his hands up trying ward me off. He looked like Theo when I had to take him for his measles shot when he was three.

The whole time Chris is wailing, “Please don’t tell Cindy! She meant nothing to me. Bev was just some hoe.” he whined.

Blood was streaked across his face from his nose. It was also on his chest, his pant leg, and the floor. Never had I seen a more disgusting, sniveling creature.

Me and my girl needed to have a heart to heart.

Skanky, had pulled most of her body parts into place, and was cursing him and trying to kick him too. That boy didn’t know who was going to beat his ass that night.

But that’s the price you pay when that’s the game you play.

I swatted Bev around the car for good measure too.

As I was leaving, I heard her yell ‘watch your back.’

I guess I knew I’d find her eventually waiting for me somewhere. And that somewhere was on a platform with coworkers and passengers.  

Great.

“I hear you been telling lies about me again,” Skanky had shouted, tossing her hair as if she was in a shampoo commercial. She pouted and looked around to see who was paying attention.

Oh, they all were. Sonny and Mitch the tunnel custodians, had stopped placing bets on the ponies on their cell phones. Victor and Daisy two other conductors stepped closer to hear. A handful or more started to come out of the woodwork. They knew about the feud between me and Skanky.

This was gonna be high noon in every way.  

The main feud had started when Skanky tried sweet talking our supervisor into giving her my run on the one train. When I had confronted her, she said I was too old to drive a train anymore. Excuse me?  Forty-seven is the new thirty thank you! And I had been there in that union, doing that job when she was stuffing her first bra in junior high school.

I told her in no uncertain terms that she was unfit to do any job other than on her back.

We had to be pulled apart after that.

And so, it began.

Now I am standing downwind of the skanks cheap perfume. Nice way to start the morning. I rolled my eyes and checked my watch. Train should be here any second.

“You think you can talk crap about me and I am going to just sit there and take it?” Skanky said. She took a few steps in my direction. She turned to see if everyone was still watching.

“What have I called you that you’re not?” I asked in bored flat tone. I tossed my empty coffee cup into the trash can and turned to face her.

She looked at me smugly, and it began to dawn on me that she should be a little more discrete since I have video footage of her doinking Chris on the train. She had no evidence against me.

So, what the hell?

“I’m going to end this here and now.” Skanky said loudly, standing on her tip toes and craning her head around.

Dumbass. You want your close- up now, I thought. I was already tired of this.

“Well what you gonna do?” I asked throwing arms out to the side.  You want it? Bring it, I figured.

I got a measured look from her, “Think you hold all the cards, don’t you?” she asked. Her bright pink mouth twitched, and her eyes danced.

Didn’t I? Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so superior. Suddenly, it felt like the rug might get yanked out from under me. And suddenly, I wanted to go home.

           “It’s too bad your career after all these years is probably going to end up in the toilet.  You’re going to be begging me soon to save your job.” Skanky finished.

“Me? Beg you? You’re off your meds, right? Listen, get your butt out of here before I go to the supervisors about this.” I blasted back.

Skanky threw back her head and laughed. Why wasn’t she scared?  I had witnesses, I had seniority, I had the video. I was safe. Right?

Then it hit me. I should have figured it out sooner. She was mixing it up with one of the supervisors. There could be no other explanation for her newfound confidence. I gritted my teeth.

And Skanky winds up on top.

I eyeballed her. Pure satisfaction spread slowly across her face. She knew I understood. Damn her. She whipped out her left hand from behind her back. And even I was struck dumb.  On her ring finger was a brilliant rock. She slowly brought her hand up and deliberately stroked her shiny hair. Holy crap.

“Well?” Miss Walker asked, stamping her foot. Her beady hazel eyes were on me. “Aren’t you going to apologize to me, for all the mean things you’ve done to me?”

I nearly choked. I’ve done to her?  I could hear my blood pulsing through my ears.

Our coworkers started mumbling under their breath, they got the picture too. A look of utter disgust went over Sonny’s face. She had been with his brother a few months back, so he knew she had something coming to her.

Just not this.

“Never fails. Nice guys finish last.” I heard him say glaring at the ring that was still glistening like a disco ball under the light.

I grimaced. Look, I get how the world works, but I will be dipped in donkey dung before I apologize to Skanky Streetwalker.

I shrugged, “A ho’s a ho, no matter who lays claim to her.” I said, and people gasped around me.

Some of the guys cheered.

Skanky looked like she had been slapped. Her mouth shaped a perfect O. Apparently, this was not the response she had expected. I allowed myself that small satisfaction, while not letting myself think what it could be costing me.

I might be more like my son than I liked to admit.

I heard that familiar clattering behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. I checked my watch again; the train was late. And if it had been on time I would’ve missed this episode of ‘who’s screwing who’.

From behind me I heard a screech. I realized I had made a fatal mistake, one you don’t make in the streets of New York. You never, ever, turn your back on your enemy, even if they seem weaker or stupider than you.

Because sometimes stupid is more dangerous than anything else.

All I saw were distant headlights coming down the dark tunnel before something jumped on my back. I lurched forward under the weight, the breath knocked almost out of me. I couldn’t lift my head so all I saw were peoples pant legs and feet.

Fear gurgled up inside me.

“Look out!” Daisy yelled.

Really? Now you’re gonna yell that? Thanks Daisy.

I gasped, and my arms flailed for a moment. I was getting pummeled with her right fist, while being choked out with her left. I staggered around, careful to avoid the edge of the platform. My heart squeezed painfully at the sight of the bright yellow caution border on the ledge.

I squirmed and bucked trying to get her off. She was screeching in my left ear, making me more confused as I struggled to get my bearings.

My right hand reached around my neck and started pulling on her arm that was choking me.

She was a lot stronger than the last time we grappled. Having no other option, I grabbed the rock on her finger and twisted it hard enough to break her finger. Then I tucked my chin into my neck. She yelled out in pain and I swung my whole body around, knocking Skanky off.

She landed in a heap to the concrete floor. Glossy blonde hair splayed all around her. The light still danced off the diamond on finger, as she pushed up off the floor to a kneeling position.

There was blood in her eye when she jumped up. Straight into my fist. This time when she fell, it was on her ass. I stood there waiting for her to get back up.

“Help! Someone, call the police!” Skanky hollered.  

I was breathing heavily, as the everything spun around me. A fine sweat broke out all over me, and I prayed I wouldn’t pass out. I would never live it down. Skanky Streetwalker did in Glory Shanahan, it would be humiliating.

Skanky was scrambling to standup, but her legs were wobbling badly. At least we were both in bad shape, I told myself. I must have given her a good shot in the head I realized.  I wondered what the union could do for me at this point. Regret started creeping up inside me. I still needed this job.

My little nest egg that was waiting for me flashed before my eyes.

Instead of helping, people started laughing at Beverly. Panic was starting to seize me and the need to get the hell out of there was nearly overwhelming. I looked over my shoulder to see the train’s silver car racing towards us.

Again, stupid move.

I never learn.

I was shoved this time. The last thing I remember was grabbing her blonde hair in a desperate attempt to keep myself up on that platform.

Joke was on me; her luxurious blonde hair came with me.

Oh, shit!

The train had whooshed over me while I had tried covering me head with the stupid wig.  Not exactly a helmet.  “Help!” I screamed. I tried to keep my body as flat against the tracks as I could. Not an easy task at one hundred and sixty something pounds.  

Dear Lord, I prayed. Let me live. I’ve got kids. I got a family. I’ll be nicer. I’ll get a new job, a better job. Helping kids maybe or the elderly. Before I could make another plea. I heard it.

The voice.

“Do not worry child. You are being saved for a much higher purpose,” the voice said.

Yeah? I strained to listen. Strangely enough, I couldn’t hear the train anymore. “You will live out your days as Karma. And be a reminder that I am always watching,” the voice said.

My body instantly relaxed at the words. I started getting this floaty, warm feeling inside me. The air around me now felt like a breeze. I waited to see if the Angels would sing for me.

But that didn’t happen.  Maybe next time, I told myself happily.

 “Gloria!�� somebody yelled, and I was shaken out of my thoughts.

“What do you want from me,” I roared, sitting up.

There was a little Chinese man there beside me in pink scrubs.

Jared.

He jumped back in terror, arms crossed over his chest. Jared’s mouth was open in a silent scream. He dragged in a breath, almost doubling over.

Drama queen.

“I want to just see if you’re alive. Is that alright with you?” he snapped. His eyes were wide with fear and aggravation as he contemplated me.

“I am fine. Don’t you know who I am?” I asked. Better to hit the ground running with this.  It was time to start flexing some mystical muscle here.

Claim my destiny.

“You’re Gloria Shanahan,” the nurse said flatly. He reached for the blood pressure cuff and pulled out his stethoscope from his front pocket. He had the nerve to look down, like I wasn’t even there.

You have got to be kidding me.

“Wrong little man. This is Karma your dealing with,” I informed him. I shifted and the whole room waltzed around me. I put my arms out to balance me. Dear Lord, why was I in pain like this? I was of a higher calling now.

I am damn sure I am not meant to suffer like this.

“Carmen?” Jared asked blankly. He blinked and ran over to his chart. He glanced it over. “I have you down here as Gloria.”

“Not Carmen. Karma. K-A-R-M-A” I spelled out for him. I had to turn my head to see him. One of my eyes wasn’t working.

I reached up and touched it. Pain shot through every nerve I had in my body. “Eeesh!” I shrieked and fell back.  I needed to find out if there was somebody to complain to about these Earthly sufferings.

“Hey, I may need a barf bag or something,” I told him, begrudgingly.

“You’re…” the nurse sputtered, clutching the chart to his stomach now. “Oh Lord.” he muttered. Jared knuckles turned white from clutching the clip board, as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

“No, not God. You crazy or something? Karma. Although I am kind of up there now. Huh let’s see what Skanky pants thinks of this,” I laughed. I almost forgot about the raw shoulders and back, and throbbing headache.

Almost.

“Uhm, right. I need to go get the doctor Miss uh Karma,” the nurse said backing away.  He was giving me a real toothy smile, still clutching my chart. Jared toppled backward over the IV pole behind him. He scrambled to stay upright.

I couldn’t blame him. This was all kinds of awesome. I would be a little overwhelmed in my presence too. After all, it’s not everyday Karma shows up in your bleak little world.

I laid back. “I’ll be needing pain meds” I called out. I had a feeling my closed-up eye looked like a mini eggplant.

No one answered. Huh.

[lhnicolelegendary]

  2017 was a fun year for great movies and tv shows. But more than that it was a great year for movies and TV with powerful and inspirational female characters and their stories!

There are some true standouts that are getting a LOT of well deserved attention but some of the ones that I personally connected with the most have not gotten a whole lot of recognition. I want to take a few minuets to really talk about the ones I really love!

I am picking my top 4 Female Power fav’s from 2017 to showcase.

Before we dive in don’t forget that all this month I am running a very special giveaway for Legendary’s coming birthday! I’m giving away two big prize baskets, one that even included the elusive and wildly popular Rose Gold Minnie Mouse ears from Disney! Don’t miss your chance to enter below in the rafflecopter! So many ways to win 🙂

#1 WONDER WOMAN

This one should come as no surprise! I was going crazy when this came out in theaters, and even back in 2016 when the media campaign really kicked it up. Wonder Woman has been a source of fascination, amazement and inspiration to me since I was nine! I loved to watch the Justice League cartoon shows (and its many forms over the years) and read the comics when I could get my hands on them.

I truly do not think they could have chosen a better actress than Gal Gadot to play Diana Prince, Princess of the Amazons of Themyscira. Gal captured the innocence, the strength, the iron will wrapped in the finest silk, and the open, honest heart that is rooted in doing what is right, no matte the cost.

The genius women behind this movie broke the mold of female characters with the visuals they used. Showing all the Amazons training and fighting in ways that were not meant to entice or capitalize on sexy female body images like Marvel does so damn often. They showed these women working hard to have the skills they do and the steel bonds that weave them together. They supported each other and empowered each other to be better, and they were there for when the other fell to help them back up. That is what gave Diana such a strong moral compass, even when she had to defy her mother, and leave her home forever to do what she believed to be right.

Diana charged across the WWI battle field when no men were even brave enough to dream of doing such a thing. For me this was the most powerful part of the movie because she had no fear of facing such danger alone and she couldn’t bare the thought of just walking away from people who needed help. She stood up for those who could not stand up for themselves and that is a truly rare and inspiring act of heroism.

I loved reading all the cool tweets and articles that came out in the weeks after. One that really sticks out for me was an article with a bunch of young children’s reactions that I read on Cosmo’s site.

Seven girls playing together during recess on Tuesday, saying that since they all wanted to  be Wonder Woman they had agreed to be Amazons and not fight but work together to defeat evil.

A boy threw his candy wrapping in the floor and a 5-year-old girl screamed ‘DON’T POLLUTE YOU IDIOT, THAT IS WHY THERE ARE NO MEN IN THEMYSCIRA’

#2 SUPERGIRL

There are so many great things this show has done on 3 seasons. I loved the light-hearted quirkiness of season one with the added layers of Cat Grant snarky inspiration and powerful sisterly devotion. Then the slightly more mature, more dynamic second season where Kara learns how to love an enemy of her planet and also how much she’s willing to sacrifice to do what’s right. And now we have season three which has gone darker than both previous seasons, but I can understand why because of what Kara is dealing with, and the underlying layers of danger that are shaping her world.

I am only going to focus on the things that happened in 2017 that really got to me about this show. The biggest moment is two-fold. To save her city, Supergirl took on her revered and god-like cousin in a battle Royale that would put Superman and General Zod’s battle to shame. Clark was at his full-strength, and fighting enraged because of the effect of silver kryptonite which made him see his worst fear (General Zod, pun fully intended above). Despite the odds being so far skewed against her, and everyone in the world thinking that no one could beat Superman, Kara-Supergirl-did. And she did it on her own, with no help or interference; my mind was blown! Part two is the even bigger fold of this scenario because of what Kara had to end up sacrificing to save the innocents of National City and the world.

Mon’el and Kara had a very intense and passionate build and burn to their relationship. I have to admit I was not happy that James got thrown to the side, but I really started to like Mon’el about half way through the 2nd season. After the truth about who he was on his planet came out, that was when I fully committed to team KaraxMon’el. She loved him, truly loved him despite the stupid things he did. Then she had to do the one thing that would rip him from her life permanently. To stop his Psycho Daxamite mother from taking over she set off a bomb created by Lena Luthor that saturated the atmosphere with lead, the one thing Daxamite’s are deathly affected by. Kara knew that doing that would mean that Mon’el would die too, and it would break her heart, but she still did it.

She was able to save Mon’el but only because she put him the pod he came to earth in and sent him into space where he was sucked into a black hole that we found out in season 3 dropped him several hundred years in the future.

At the end of season 2 in ’17 even Clark came to Kara and affirmed to her that she was the superior kryptonion, and not just because she beat him, but because she made a decision that forced her to give up her heart, and Clark admitted that he would not have had the strength to do it.

There are many more reasons to love this show and the fantastic female power that it delivers every week, and that is because of the amazing cast of strong, independent and capable female characters that don’t need men to save them. Lena Luthor, Cat Grant, Alex Danvers and Meghan–in addition of course to Kara Zor-el ;D They even threw in the most popular and well-known actress who donned the Wonder Woman gauntlets and lasso, Lynda Carter, as the president of the good old US of A. It doesn’t get much more powerful than that.

#3 PITCH PERFECT

“Say your prayers because Fat Amy is coming for you.”

I had NEVER expected to see the action sequence that kicks off the whole movie and set up for an aca-spectacular finale to a franchise I love so much! (Yes, that is largely in part because of the amazing songs and musical sequences.)

The two parts of all this that got me the most focused around my fav Bella: Beca. Yes the premise of the movie, all the girls abandoning their lives to tour with the USO to perform on military bases hoping to get picked by some crazy big shot DJ to be signed by his label is very far out there, but this is not the typical Bella competition.

Beca of course immediately catches the attention of the producer, and you can totally tell he’s fascinated by her, and she in turn is strongly drawn to him, thought she seems to not realize it. Said hot producer and DJ Khaled eventually offered a contract for JUST HER but she turned it down because she is a Bella and she was not going to stab her girls in the back like that. The best part was in the end when she told the girls about it they told her she was crazy for not taking the deal! They all go on to tell her that they realize now that they don’t want to keep singing and that real friends, real sisters always support each other and don’t hold any one back from getting their dream!

The second part about this I loved so much, and something that is so NOT a normal thing in dramedies is the fact that despite the attraction, Beca didn’t fall into the arms of the hot producer, Theo, that clearly had a thing for her. Instead she held him off and made a crack about how he now worked for her and she was going to drive him crazy.

I also loved that we got to meet Fat Amy’s estranged father and the aca-crazy he brings to the already guaranteed to be a disaster shenanigans of the Bella’s. Despite Pitch Perfect’s plot having several holes, the expected final of sisterhood and female empowerment felt natural and impactful without being over done.

#4 The Bold Type

                  I am the first to say I’m not much of a contemporary books or shows that don’t have some kind of action element to it, but this gem snagged my attention right from its first seconds! I love the dynamic chemistry between all the stars of this show, but especially between the characters of Sutton, Jane and Kat. I love seeing three girls who are so inseparable. I love that when one of them does something bitchy or stupid or hurts the feelings of one of the others, instead of losing their shit, they come together, apologize and support each other.

This show broke a lot of molds like the other shows and movies I’ve listed here and they took on a hell of a line up of real issues facing women today. They took on everything from sexism and racial issue to online bullying and rape survival in a powerful season finale that had tears in the eyes of every person that has a heart.

When the series starts we find that Sutton is in a relationship with a man in a powerful position in the company. They highlighted the age-old assumption most people would have made accusing Sutton of sleeping her way up. Instead the relationship was NOT at all about that, they truly cared for each other; but they also showed the strain it put on the relationship to have to hide their love from everyone they know. Sutton is my favorite of the three girls because her personality is so close to mine, plus I loved seeing her gain her confidence to go for her dream of working in the fashion department of the magazine and finding her courage to show what a kick ass talent she is and how she refused to give up despite making many mistakes.

Little Jane is my second favorite. I like that her story focused on her admitting that she was not what her image portrayed and her journey to discovering who she is and what she really wants in her life and career. Jane had several major story lines from having to write an article admitting she had never had a Big “O”, getting into a relationship with a notorious player,  finding ways to break past the assumptions others made of her because of her look and where she worked, and having to face the fact she was positive for a gene that can cause breast cancer in women–the same cancer that killer her mother. At the end of the season they had Jane making a huge decision that put her out on her own, but I love that they showed how supportive her tough as nails boss was of it and how she knew that no matter where she was her friends would stand beside her.

Kat is a wonderfully complex character. She had some of the more crazy but impactful story lines. She dealt with falling in love with a truly beautiful and strong feminist Muslim photographer and realizing that her sexuality was NOTHING like what she had believed all her life. Her relationship with Adina was riddled with everything from cheating to getting arrested (and dealing with the ignorant hate that people have for those who look or talk differently, especially an Arab woman.) She also had to learn how to step up into being a boss and managing the people working for her. And most importantly she learned that she needed to step away from all the things that held her back from growing into the woman she wanted to become.

There are so many shows that could be included in this list but for me these are the ones that I loved the most and I hope that if you haven’t checked out any of these movies or shows, you will and see if maybe you can’t find something of yourself in all of them. I know I sure did!

❤ always LH

a Rafflecopter giveaway https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

'17 Screen Favs, Disney #RoseGoldEars & more on the blog #Legendary @PitchPerfect @WonderWomanFilm #Supergirl @TheBoldTypeTV #femalepower 2017 was a fun year for great movies and tv shows. But more than that it was a great year for movies and TV with powerful and inspirational female characters and their stories!