#there should be a i fucking hate them (affectionate) option

[madame-mongoose]

For the character bingo- thoughts on Victor Frankenstein?? 👀

EHEHEHEHHE ONE OF MY TOP BLORBOS EVER WORIWI I was soooo close to bingo man but Victor is not a beast. He's more of a thing. A sad pathetic little wet rag that I'd wipe my feet on before entering a room

#there should be a i fucking hate them (affectionate) option #literally my third favorite character ever #i love victor frankenstein #i love watching him suffer thr consequences of his actions #he sucks so fucking bad #monnie answers

[mondaymelon]

₊⊹ 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞! | genshin males x gn!reader

「 "𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫!"」

— in which you give him chocolates before he attempts to give you his??

— fluff. highschool!au but built like a shoujo manga lmao ... happy valentine's day ~ ♡ another fic will be going out tomorrow :)

THOMA, albedo, ayato, alhaitham, childe, KAVEH, HEIZOU, VENTI, GAMING, CHONGYUN, KAZUHA, wriothesley, tighnari, freminet, lyney ♡

Calling yourself a "romantic" person would be quite a stretch.

Saying Valentine's was your favorite day of the year would be even worse.

Sure, sure, you'd heard plenty of things, from the nagging old man manning the grocery store, always red in the face from regular swigs of cheap liquor, or the seemingly never endless musings from your classmates, swooning and fainting every moment anyone, or more specifically, the leads starring in those dramas of theirs, did anything remotely affectionate.

Young, innocent love, while a splendid thing, for someone like you, your really only option was to endlessly pine after someone who would certainly not return your affections.

The recipient of such foolish affections? That much was obvious. What a rather hopeless person, you were.

At the very least, he seemed to enjoy your presence. A smile would adorn his lips, and he'd always meet your gaze with his familiar greeting of, "Good morning, did you sleep well?"

Fuck, you hated how such a simple line, questioning of your wellbeing, could tug at your heartstrings so effortlessly. The man was playing you like a fiddle, and a part of you didn't try to resist that.

So the moment February 14th rolled itself around, bearing promises of youthful laughter, baby cupids, hearts, and sweets, you tried not to pay heed to the extra weight of chocolates in your school bag.

Had you stayed up late making them just the right sweetness, making sure they were perfectly heart-shaped?

Yes. As stated previously, you were truly hopeless.

"Ah, good morning." Wow, look at you, taking the initiative to greet someone? Truly, a day of magic and wonder! You're almost jump scared at the sight of him in your classroom, just what the fuck was he doing here? He leaned against the doorway, looking terribly pretty in the morning lighting.

This was not doing wonders to your heart.

Upon seeing you, he straightened his posture, looking suspiciously sheepish with an extra non-characteristic, flusteredness on his features. "You're here early today."

"It's Valentine's." That's all you managed to sputter out with that tied tongue of yours.

"Yes, and?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly, not entirely convinced, and followed you to your seat like some sort of lost puppy.

Your brain raced to find a rationale he'd deem reasonable. "Uhm, ah... my friend... is planning to confess to a guy, so I had to come early and help her... set up the place she's planning to do so at?"

"I see... ah," His eyes lit up like he had thought of something. "Are you free after school? We should meet up afterward, so you can tell me how it went...?"

"Yes!" You responded a little too quickly, and cussing yourself out in you head, you corrected it. "Ahem- yes, I'd like that." The burning feeling that arose on your face was starting to become too prominent to ignore.

He didn't seem to pay it any mind, and instead beamed in a close-eyed smile. "Perfect. Then, I'll see you?" You were to bid him goodbye, but he ran off before you could even utter a sound, leaving you rather dumbfounded, blank-faced and still feeling the tingling warmth on your cheeks.

Holy shit, is this my chance?? You’d made chocolates on the eensiest, weensiest off chance that you might grow bold enough to hand it to him, even if under the pretense of “as friends”, but with the violent way your heart was pounding in your chest, you didn’t think avoidance would be an option.

Ahaha, you were making a mistake, weren’t you?

Only one way to find out.

The rest of the day went by as predicted. Fanatic screams and a wave of crazed people chasing after the more popular figures of the school, throwing boxes of chocolates and bouquets of roses... hey, wasn't this a safety hazard? There were other screams too - but not of excitement, but terror as a man was crushed and trampled under a wave of love-sick girls chasing after the popular boy in class 2-A.

You just hoped that he wouldn't sue the school. The place was already cutting enough corners when it came to the monstrosity of cafeteria food.

The bell rang, signaling your freedom, and you massaged your shoulders with a sigh. You'd survived, somehow. As you stepped out the door, a ding from your phone alerted you with a text, and as you lit up the screen, the corner of your lips unconsciously turned upwards into a soft smile.

hot guy <3 - don't forget.

hot guy <3 - ill be waiting for you

Stepping into his classroom, you scanned your surroundings for the familiar sight of the man. Low and behold, there he was, sat upon, presumably, his desk, and staring out the window like some main character. You walked over, trying your best to disregard the clamminess of your fingers - or more specifically, the hand that was holding your homemade chocolates hidden safely(?) away behind your back. His features brightened at the sight of you, and he swung his legs, ushering you over to share the view with him.

"Sorry, did you wait long?" You sheepishly grinned as he scooted to the side to give you space to sit down next to him. As you did so, you were made painfully aware of how his body was still pressed up against yours. “I almost got trampled on my way here, not a pretty sight.”

“...Pretty sight?” He echoed his words, tilting his head as he pondered, the slightest curve of a smile tugging at his lips. “You?”

“W-What? No, I-” You cleared your throat before he could say another word, trying to dispel the blush on your features. Naturally, you failed to do so. “What kind of things are you saying now? Just who’d you learn that from?”

“Haa? What do you mean, learned? I just said the truth, that’s all…”

God, he was so adorable. This man had definitely run off with your heart.

Now or never, you supposed. Standing upwards abruptly, you pulled out the heart-shaped box of chocolates you’d been hiding behind your back the entire time, visibly trembling as you held it outwards.

“Will you be my valentine?”

It took him the count of three to respond, his eyes round and doe-like. He blinked rapidly, and then his cheeks flushed - not with his usual cheeriness, but a red that definitely spoke of flusteredness. “H-Hey, that's no fair…”

“...What?” Damn, was this your rejection? You had expected as much, but-

“I was supposed to give you chocolates first, y’know…”

And just like that, the familiar boy before you reached beside him into the darkly lit space and pulled out his own box of chocolates, lightly colored and wrapped beautifully in shimmering golden ribbon. “It took me so long to do this, and yet…”

“Holyfuckingshitwhat.” The curses flew from your mouth, condensed into a single word. “W- H- Y-You… You got chocolates for me?”

Now this was a first. Seeing his cheeks and tips of his ears all rosy, and seeing him all kicked-puppy-like. He nodded slowly, “Mhm… But, this is good too!”

He likes me.

He likes me.

He likes me.

Hoooooly shit.

“Ah, oh no, I didn’t give you an answer, did I?” His usually soft eyes now filled with panic. “Don't tell me I'm too late, I’ll be your valentine!”

The chocolates, surely, would be sweet. But the sensation of your lips meeting his, the undeniable warmth he bestowed upon you — it was sweeter than anything. ♡

(a/n) lmao guess what. i got sick again. i was sick last month and i mfucking sick and dying again and the only thing saving me is shitty couhg medicine that doesn't even work and like expired coughdrops my couhgdrop supply is running low and oh god i don't THINK IM GOINNA MAKE IT-

hahah anyways remember when i said id come back. well . guess what. ive been working on original works for a while now, but the delulu has indeed returned ( for longer than a week this time, hopefully )

i did work on some stuff during my inactivity! the post will probably be out tomorrow, but please don't be upset if i push the date back :)

anyways whipped up this quick drabble so all of you could be well fed on valentines. remember that its okay to be single on this day, and that there are plenty of other people out there like you. there is no shame in being single, and i love every one of you ! mwah <33

໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader, @fiannee, @aether-darling, @solxima, @sangoqueenkoko, @haliyamori

#★ ˎˊ˗ mondaymelon #astronetwrk #x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin x you #genshin x reader #childe #alhaitham x reader #thoma x reader #albedo x reader #kaveh x reader #ayato x reader #heizou x reader #venti x reader #gaming x reader #childe x reader #chongyun x reader #kazuha x reader #wriothesley x reader #tighnari x reader #freminet x reader #lyney x reader #alhaitham #kaveh #valentines day #reader insert

[theoldsports]

Moody.

Coriolanus Snow x Reader | 3.3k words

depression, arguing, manipulation/toxic marriage, fucking each other over, possessiveness. it’s tamer than some of my others in an objective sense, but emphasizes dark thoughts and internal monologue.

requests always open! thanks for your kindnesses. i think this one is more experimental than the others. the objective here was to show how both of them mimic regular human feelings because they know they should, but it’s a poor pantomime. two sickos with nothing else but each other <3 i think i am going to call these works the Truculent series.

Coriolanus grew cold fast and did not tolerate heat well. He only slept only in his underclothes and wore heavy layers at the first sight of winter. His alarmingly fair complexion meant excessive sun wasn’t in the cards. In spite of his name, his scrappy build wasn’t meant to cut through harsh January terrain either. His nails chipped at labor, and his mind grew uneasy at laziness.

The world was tough on Coriolanus and he was tough right back on the word.

There was little Coriolanus was designed to do. Many people were strong, or smart, or wealthy, or drop-dead-gorgeous, or violent, or talented. There was something about every person Coriolanus could think of that made them stand out. He could easily categorized people by them. Here was the group of people known for their beautiful voices; here, those who could benchpress four-hundred pounds… Coriolanus could not be quantified like that.

Coriolanus Snow had to take what was left, like a runt. He was only good at two things: enduring and controlling. Since those were the only options leftover for him, Coriolanus became the best at them both. When, like Coriolanus, one has been gifted such shitty talents and nothing else, they have to figure out how to use them well enough to win against everyone with a better gift. Eventually, he realized his talents were not the ability to endure and the ability to control, but actually the ability to win. Eventually, he won so much, Coriolanus forgot there was ever a time when he lost (most days).

(The days he didn’t forget were the Bad Days).

Coriolanus felt like he couldn’t get out of bed on the Bad Days when the crushing weight of his failures and his ego landed across his chest. He told himself he was done with love after Lucy Gray. Disgusting Lucy Gray, a name he never wanted to even think again. He thought he would marry someone he hated and be done with love.

But junkies and addicts quit every Monday anyway.

Once he found [Y/N] again after their childhood together, there was no quitting. He knew it was bad for him, so he married what was bad for him to make sure he had an endless supply. How he hated that familiar feeling of obsession, the feeling of being so desperate that he had to rely on something other than himself. Somehow, he would have to sustain the feeling without losing his girl like an idiot. Marriage was likely the thing to steel their attempt at a bond.

Upon waking up to the alarm that morning, Coriolanus knew this was one of those Bad Days. Maybe it was the weather, the stress of Games. First year as head Gamemaker had almost driven Coriolanus mad under the pressure to succeed. He reached over to turn off the clock that buzzed painfully at six in the morning every day ending with a Y.

“Coryo…” [Y/N] mumbled, hearing him stir beside her. The sound must have woken her. She tossed an arm over his chest.

“‘Mornin’, Darling,” Coriolanus replied, wishing he were dead.

[Y/N] immediately picked up on the flatness of his tone, but she knew better than to push him too far. “All good?” She asked.

Coriolanus grumbled passively. He rarely did anything passively. Coriolanus grabbed the hand over his chest and dragged it up to the side of his face to rest it there, but only after he had kissed [Y/N] palm.

“You’re affectionate this morning.”

“I just missed you. I’ve been busy.” He said dismissively, pressing his face further into her hand.

“Well, thanks, dear, but don’t you have work?” [Y/N] asked. She propped her chin up on his shoulder to stare at him inquisitively. This attitude was odd. First thing in the morning during Games seasons, she got a kiss on the forehead and then Coriolanus was gone for a run and a shower and out til nightfall, barring special occasions.

“Don’t you?”

“Not til early evening today. Normally, you’re up and out of here first thing on a Tuesday morning,” [Y/N] told him, as she rubbed from his cheek to the side of his throat gently. She dragged her hand up his face to rest on his worried forehead. “You sick, or something?”

“No.” Coriolanus replied weakly. He closed his eyes again. He couldn’t face the legendary blunder he had made at work. Coriolanus had allowed his aides to code the program for the arena wrong. The open water was nowhere near as deep as was needed for the aquatic muttations. It was causing all sorts of trouble. The Games would end too fast if he didn’t do something, yet the stress of thinking of reaching across the nightstand for his Communicuff was paralyzing.

“You sure? You don’t feel feverish,” She confirmed. [Y/N] sat up to press her lips to his forehead just in case her cold hands had misread his temperature. “I can call the doctor, though.”

“[Y/N], stop. I’m fine.” Coriolanus lied harshly. He tried to sit up, but his psychological anguish made him feel like vomiting.

“Call in. Stay here.” She suggested, watching his weak movement to sit up.

“I’m head Gamemaker, I don’t get to call in. I need to go for a run’n I’ll be fine.”

[Y/N] raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t currently fine? Because you said—“

“I know what the fuck I said, okay?” Coriolanus barked. “Wanna recap anything else, or can I go?”

Sharply, [Y/N] scooted away from him to the other side of the bed. His moods were hardly predictable. She sighed. “Fine,” She said, averting her eyes to her hands like a scolded girl. “I was merely concerned that you—“

Coriolanus scoffed at her and shakily stood up from the bed. He quickly stepped into the closet and stepped joggers and a wifebeater. [Y/N] hoped he would grab a jacket as well; the weather was much too cold for mid summer. The Capitol itself got disproportionately cold often. She didn’t say anything out loud, though. “Get off my ass. Can’t you sit there and be grateful for once? With all that I do for you?Fucking hell.” Coriolanus said. He did not so much as look back at her as he stormed out of the bedroom.

[Y/N] could not understand what she had done wrong. The only things she had were provided through Coriolanus or simply the man himself. Once Coriolanus was presumed out of earshot, [Y/N] dropped her head into her hands and cried. Not tears of frustration or anger, but tears of self-pity that her one lifeline had yelled at her like that.

—

By the time Coriolanus returned from his run, it appeared his wife had gone out for the day. Strange since she usually capitalized on the extra sleep if she was not working downtown with Capitol News until evening shift. Since their reckless young adulthood of media stunts, Coriolanus had watched [Y/N] grow a stifling love for spectacle. With his support and their shared deranged name recognition, she had quickly risen from an editor, to a correspondent (brief. He had helped her but her way up and out of that position) to Associate Head of Programming for Capitol News. It helped to have his wife steer both their media narratives from the inside.

Except for when she was mad at him.

Coriolanus wiped the sweat off his brow in the shower as he thought. There was no doubt in his mind that [Y/N] was going to run some sort of primetime bulletin that made him look a fool during his Games coverage that night. It was bad enough that Lucky Flickerman was beginning to look like botox had gotten better of him, in addition to Coriolanus’ own fuck up with the muttations. Fact of the matter was that viewership was down and [Y/N] was going to make it worse. She was going to make his Bad Day worse and he knew it.

He could feel his heart rate racing as he stood under the shower’s cold stream. His equally cold blue eyes glanced across the bathroom at the clock. Six-fifty AM. Realistically, he need to be into the Gameroom by no later than eight-thirty, but it frustrated him to be in later than eight. In roughly an hour, how could he perform the maximum amount of damage control? Coriolanus’ head began to ache at the thought.

She had never run that harsh of a piece on him before, but it was a Bad Day, and no doubt she was angry with him for his attitude. [Y/N] was capable of a great many horrible things. Wouldn’t Coriolanus himself want to sting somebody back who he had known was pissy with him?

When he exited the shower, Coriolanus rushed to dress himself. [Y/N] said she wasn’t working until late. But where, then, had she gone? With all the thinking about his own feelings, he hadn’t considered that conundrum.

—

Coriolanus called her secretary, a boring woman with a name neither man nor wife could recall. According to that woman, [Y/N] had not gone early to work. He rang Tigris. Tigris said [Y/N] had not been over unless she was lying which Coriolanus wouldn’t put past her. The Plinths swear they had not encountered her.

Coriolanus stared down at his datapad of phone numbers. He refrained from calling all of their friends because he didn’t want to to exude the panic he was starting to feel for letting his wife run away. None of her belongings seemed out of place. Her suitcase was present in the back of their closet. Still, Coriolanus was terrified in the back of his mind that his wife had finally left him. A year and half was a dreadful lifespan for a marriage in his opinion. [Y/N] was not getting away that easily.

However, his watch told him it was eight and the Games weren’t going to run themselves.

Throughout the day, Coriolanus could not get his heart rate to settle. It made him feel ill. So ill, in fact, that he couldn’t keep down most of breakfast, or all of lunch. He skipped dinner all together. Who was [Y/N] to up and leave him like that?

The slight rational segment of his brain told him to walk it back, but the rest of his brain paid no mind. Coriolanus had nothing going for him other than gut instincts and his gut instincts now were implying something was fundamentally wrong.

Coriolanus’ decision-making was way off of its game at work. Coriolanus, for ratings, could not allow the Hunger Games to end on a Tuesday night. Somehow, he would have to create obstacles to last the four remaining tributes til Friday. He didn’t much like those odds. He was going to cave and hand in his resignation before the end of the day, he was certain.

Though, at eight in the evening, the primetime announcement or chiron that Coriolanus was a shitty husband or a murderer never cut through his broadcast to make his Day irreparably Bad. Nor did it at eight-thirty, or even nine. Coriolanus felt shaky. Maybe with relief for his reputation, maybe because he had nothing in his system.

If nothing had aired at Coriolanus’ expense on TV, had something happened to [Y/N] while he was on his run, or later? Was this some rebel attempt to bring the head Gamemaker to his knees? An attempt from a bitter rival to play games with him? Coriolanus frowned. Many things could have happened to his wife between six in the morning and nine at night. Coriolanus could barely stand up as it was. He clocked out and summoned his driver as quick as he could.

The second Coriolanus’ key entered the lock, he started shouting with the energy he had left. The door had yet to even close behind him. “[Y/N]! [Y/N], my love! Are you here?” Coriolanus pushed open every cabinet and closet on his way to the bedroom. Empty. He checked the closet - her suitcase remained. Coriolanus had called her office on his way home. She had not shown up for work. Unheard of.

Coriolanus ran through every room of the townhouse shouting [Y/N]’s name over and over until he felt hoarse. He could only imagine what the neighbors thought. Then he saw the attic door open.

The door remained open, but the stairs to the attic had snapped back up halfway and gotten jammed. “Coryo!” He heard [Y/N] yell faintly from upstairs.

“Darling, are you… in the attic?” Coriolanus shouted back cautiously under the open door. He watched as [Y/N]’s tearstained face peered around the edges of the attic door. It was really her. Not a Jabberjay, not a setup. Coriolanus exhaled for what felt like the first time all day. “Let me come up. I’ll come to you. Hold on!” Coriolanus’ finally left behind the Bad Day as he leapt into action. Protecting his wife was his job before Gamemaker, or any other obligation. Anyone in the Capitol would remember their vows, or her smashing cake into his face much to his dismay. Marriage was socially his most binding contract of all. Coriolanus did not take contractional obligations lightly.

Coriolanus had not realized that his wife was so delicate and helpless as to get stuck in the attic. She needed him more than he thought. His heart swelled with pride. Coriolanus grabbed a broomstick and hooked the hinge in the stairs. He yanked with all his strength until the ladder descended. Quickly, he dropped a large sack of rice from the kitchen counter over the bottom step in hopes it would weight the stairs down and he took off up them.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” Coriolanus asked, popping his head through the attic door

There on the unfinished attic floor sat [Y/N], bundled up in her thin teddy she had been wearing when Coriolanus left. She had only that and a too-short blanket Tigris had crocheted as a child. There was very little in the attic at all. Some of the Grandma’am’s belongings in clear glass bins and whatever surviving relics had carried on from their post-war childhoods.

It was clear [Y/N] had been crying. “I thought you would come back.” She sniffled.

Coriolanus urgently climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and sat carefully down beside [Y/N], wrapping her in his long arms possessively. “I thought something happened to you,” Also, that you tried to leave me. “You’re freezing… How long have you been up here?”

“Since you went on your run.”

“Shit… All that time?”

[Y/N] thought her tears had long since stopped, but seeing Coriolanus appear upset about ignoring her all day made her want his attention more. She wanted him to feel bad.

The tears started flowing the second his arms were looped around her waist. [Y/N] rested her head on Coriolanus’s shoulder heavily. “Coryo, you just left. I come up here all the time to think and I didn’t think it would—“

The blonde man’s heart softened at the sight of her. “Darling, Darling, shh, don’t cry,” Coriolanus combed his hand through sobbing [Y/N]’s hair. “You’re okay. I’m here now.”

Coriolanus felt like he was able to play the role of comforter and protector nobly tonight in a way he had recently felt inadequate at. With ease, he draped her legs across his lap and adjusted her arms around his neck so that her body was completely supported by his. She clung to him like a desperate child. The skin-to-skin contact was most appreciated by Coriolanus after the Day he’d had. Coriolanus excitedly drew a breathe from her neck, taking in her scent.

[Y/N] sobbed dramatically into Coriolanus’ dress shirt, but he pretended not to care like a good husband. “I’m sorry. I c-couldn’t—couldn’t get down. I th-thought you would come get me. I shout-ted for you,” she played up her tears. [Y/N] played up everything for attention; they both knew that. But the situation was mutually beneficial for people that liked attention so damn much. “You didn’t hear me.” You never hear me.

“Oh, Princess…” Coriolanus rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping it would warm her up. He pulled away from her regrettably and stripped off his blazer. He wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it carefully in front of her. He knew [Y/N] would like the gesture. Now, Coriolanus did not say I’m sorry. It was not his fault that [Y/N] had fled to the attic. He did instead try to make good from now forward. “I was so worried, I started to think something happened to you. I wanted to give you space, but then I didn’t hear from you all day. I’m relieved to know the only monster that got you was the attic,” Coriolanus leaned into her neck to kiss her in his favorite place. “You sat up here in all this junk and dust today; how are you still so stunning?”

[Y/N] laughed through a wet sniffle as Coriolanus searingly kissed her neck. “I didn’t know I’d worried you this much.” She muttered.

“I didn’t know I’d upset you this much,” Coriolanus agreed. That was as close to I’m sorry as she was going to get. “What did you do up here all day?”

“W-Went through some boxes. Found your old uniform.” [Y/N] smiled back.

“My Peacekeeper uniform?” Coriolanus asked in surprise. He hoped that she had not found anything else, if there was anything more scathing up in the attic.

“Mhm,” she affirmed. [Y/N] stood shakily from the floor, snot dripping from her nose. Snot, which she knew better than to wipe on the sleeve of his blazer. She followed where the beams were in the floor nimbly so she didn’t put her foot through the ceiling below her. [Y/N] collected a decently sized metal crate with a handle on it. PRIVATE SNOW, CORIOLANUS B. was stamped on top of the dusty, dented metal. She carried it back to Coriolanus and sat down with it in front of him.

“I didn’t go through everything in here, that felt intrusive, but I did pull this out,” they both knew that was a lie and that she had absolutely gone through every item, but Coriolanus let her keep going without cutting in. [Y/N] decided she would still let him explain the history behind every item he wanted to share anyway.

When she shook the long gray-blue jacket out of the box, something happened that hadn’t happened last time she took the jacket out. “Coriolanus, what’s this?” [Y/N] asked, plucking a bulky chain off the floor that had tumbled from the coat’s breast pocket.

“Ah, I’d forgotten where those went. Dog tags from my time in Twelve.” Coriolanus said.

“I still have my father’s. You were like a real soldier then, huh?”

“Peacekeeper.” Coriolanus corrected.

“Yes, Peacekeeper.” [Y/N] agreed quietly.

[Y/N] held the two identical pendants in her hands.

SNOW, CORIOLANUS

CITADEL, CAPITOL

4147769218S 12

O NEG

CREMATE

His entire identity all on two pieces of nickel. While she squinted at the embossed metal, Coriolanus leaned forward across the box that had once held his entire world and grabbed the chain she was holding as well as her hands. [Y/N]’s red weepy eyes met his crystal clear blue ones. “Would you like them?”

“You don’t want to keep them?”

“Certainly not. My name right there on your chest? That’s preferable to them sitting in a dusty box forever. People will know who you belong to if you wander off like this again. ‘Know you’re not, hm, like… up for finders-keepers.” Coriolanus shifted them out of [Y/N]’s hands and dropped the chain around her neck as if it were the finest gold necklace he had ever purchased her.

Coriolanus put that box up in the attic because he had not wanted to think about it ever again. Above all, though, Coriolanus Snow was an opportunistic man and he put those dog tags on [Y/N] just like he had Lucy Gray because he knew this move was flattering. If it worked once, it would work again. Sickeningly, he pulled out the same words he had used before too: “There. All mine.”

“All yours.” [Y/N] replied.

TAGLIST:

@badwicht @stelleduarte @cinnamongirl127 @prettyppetty @soulessien @bejeweledreverie @jjstyles @arminsarlerts @chmpgneprblem @co1dmountains @miscellaneousmoonchild @lille999 @pumkinnxsmut @taykorsyogurt @ndycrls @watermelonharry @nananarwhal @ohantonia @catlover420sstuff @justaproudslytherpuff @notarabellasstuff @scarytiger111 @zucchinimalfoy @secretsicanthideanymore @h-l-vlovesvintage @dannydevsbbg @clintsupremacy @lookclosernow @10ava01 @or-was-it-just-a-dream @lucielsstuff @fairyydvst

as usual, apologies if your tag didn’t work. tumblr’s tough like that. also so sorry if i forgot anyone! remind me if i did!

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #hunger games #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #the hunger games

[shipmanisms]

valentine's day with the yjs ୧ 💌 ୨

cw: pretty much just fluff !!! may have swear words included tho ??

a/n: made this for me and everyone else who's single on valentine's day too :l hope this make you all feel a lil better and ily mwah mwah, happy ( early ) valentine's day babes <3

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

- pretends she hates valentines day and everything that has to do it but deep down she adores it

- will stand awkwardly looking at the different kind of chocolates and sweets and being like "uhmmmm.....reeses are never a bad option i guess?" ALSO I FEEL LIKE she'd ask other people buying stuff for their partners what they're gonna get them cuz she's so confused 😭

- we all know she's a sucker for kisses, cuddles, holding hands, AAAANYTHING that has to do with physical touch but hates showing it so i think she'd use valentine's day as an excuse to be publicly affectionate a bit

- ok that's all i might add more later on

JACKIE TAYLOR

- she's OBSESSED with holidays and celebrations, whether it's valentine's day, christmas, anything

- waking you up at like 7am and being like "hi hi valentine hey you're my valentine it's time to wake up my valentine" while shaking you and smooching you all over

- she's never letting go of you on vday. always clinging by your side, holding your other hand while you're brushing your teeth, talking to you from outside of the door while you're on the toilet, hugging you by the waist when you're cooking

- wearing ridiculous matching outfits with her in PUBLIC. i feel like she'd have those shirts that say "their queen" AND YOU "her king/queen/monarch(☠️)" OR GETTING YOU THOSE SILLY LIL HEADBANDS THINGIES WITH THE JIGGLY HEARTS..

- knows exactly what to buy you and she's already gotten everything prepared😭 it's adorable cause she'll give you a gift of something you forgot you wanted and you're just sitting there standing like :O

SHAUNA SHIPMAN

- ditches you for jackie. end.

- JK. i think she'd just treat it like a regular day honestly

- gets you a chocolate and calls it a day but not in a bad way??? LIKE she already loves you and does a lot of things to show it so she doesn't really think valentine's day is necessary

LOTTIE MATTHEWS

- she's suuuuuuuuch a softie for showing you off and getting to shower you with gifts :(

- she wouldn't wanna go out too much, she'd probably have everything set out already. your gifts hiding in the closet, your sweets hidden in the fridge, everything prepared and on point

- i feel like since some of the yjs were mean to her and telling her to just stop talking and stuff, she'd be kinda closed off at the start and she'd be scared to show you how much she loves and adores you, but then when she sees that you accept and give her the same love back and even more she's SOOOO hyper

- writes you cheesy letters that you keep in your drawer forever and probably even little drawings of your favourite things or you and her 😭

VAN PALMER

- THE SILLY!!!!!MAI SILLY!!!DE SILLY!!!:DD

- arcade dates w them on valentine's day or going like on an amusement park☝️☝️

- they'd go print out some silly t-shirts for y'all... like "i love my van" with a picture of a van LMAOO and they'd make you wear it all the time

- if you want to do smth on that day, you BET you will. they'll never let you down i SWEAR they're the sweetest pookiest babiest to ever exist :(((((((((

TAISSA TURNER

- hates valentine's day more than anything... "what the fuck im NOT wearing that" when you ask her to match outfits with you but does it anyway

- she's miserable doing anything on valentine's day cause she thinks it's cringe but warms up to it when she sees how happy it makes you

- she's the girl that said "happy wife happy life" btw so she'll do anything u ask her to no matter how much she despises it which is.. a lot probably

- gets you a chocolate and takes 2 hours to decide if she should write you a corny letter with it and she scribbles down some ideas but then just puts :)

LAURA LEE

- as a christian we shouldn't be celebrating vday but im not really that religious so????

- but laura lee is so anyways she would be all like "im not going to sin, i don't want to disappoint my lord" 😭😭😭

- she'd still go on a date w you, well more like flower picking and stuff and she'd probably pull out the the bible and start reading to you but you love her too much to say no so you just listen

- ok yeah that's it end of post mwah mwah

#natalie scatorccio smut #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio #nat scatorccio x reader #nat scatorccio #nat scatorccio smut #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets smut #shauna shipman #shauna shipman smut #shauna shipman x reader #jackie taylor smut #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor #lottie mathews x reader #lottie matthews smut #lottie matthews #van palmer smut #van palmer x reader #van palmer #taissa turner smut #taissa turner x reader #taissa turner #laura lee #laura lee x reader #laura lee smut #valentine's day #im too lazy to put tags ill put them later #my works ও˖ ָ࣪

[vhagarlovebot]

this is just me rambling about aemond’s personality. i see a lot of people saying he’s cruel just for the sake of it when there is so much more. if you read it, thank u. <3

aemond targaryen can be though, scary and agressive, very challenging too. you only need to look at the prince to know that. he exudes authority and confidence, everyone respects him because he has earned that. he’s determinated to get what he wants and we see that when he claims vhagar (the abuse he suffered has a lot to do with that), and he’s very aware that he is the best option to be king, not his brother. because he’s the one who studies history and philosophy, he’s the one who trains with the sword, he’s the one who rides the largest dragon in the world. not the drunkard of his brother who does not want the throne, who begged him to let him run away. aemond knows his brother should not be the king but he supports him, he supports his mother, his family; that’s why he did not do anything, he really thought about his words because then he would’ve the opportunity to claim the throne but what he wants is not a priority. duty means a lot to him. he has been raised that way.

aemond is controlling, he wants people to obey him, he likes to give orders and use people to get what he wants, what he needs. other people emotions (outside his family) do not matter to him (not much) if he has a goal in mind.

aemond can be impulsive, bold and direct. but aemond is also hurt, he was abused and bullied as a child, he lost an eye, and you can’t get over it like it does not matter, it’s not something easy to forget, it doesn’t have to be. he did what he did in that moment (the dinner-pig moment) because it was the only right way to react for him. he’s traumatized and angry, he wants someone to pay, but he also did it out of impulse, because he was fucking angry. and it wasn’t just for that specific moment, he’s been carrying that anger since he was a child, bullied by his own brother and nephews.

aemond can be all this things but he’s also someone who just wants to make his mother, his family, proud. he’s craving the praise because growing up no one, besides his mother, acknowledged him. he felt the need to prove himself and everyone around that he could be well-educated, always studying and learning everything he could. that he could also be the best swordsman in the seven kingdoms; he tried to compensate not having a dragon by doing all those things.

the abuse he suffered forced him to hide under that “scary prince look”, when deep down aemond is caring and attentive. he has so much to give but no one to give to. he loves his mother, he would do anything for her, she’s the only one who has always defended him, she was the only one to show him some kind of love. his father never loved or cared about him, his siblings suffered the same as him, so aemond does not know much about love, or how to be affectionate. he only knows cruelty and pain.

aemond wasn’t raised to hate his nephews. they forced him to hate them themselves by the way they always mocked and bullied him. aemond even tried to be there for jace and be friendly at laena’s funeral but it was jace who gave him the cold shoulder. it was also viserys fault, always showing his preference for rhaenyra and her children, it was his own mother and her rivalry with rhaenyra. it was also luke’s fault, taking away an important part of him. it was not aemond’s fault he grew up feeling the way he feels about them.

then what are you expecting from a boy who was so wronged like aemond? be fucking for real and realize how complex aemond targaryen really is. he’s not the way he is just because, there are a lot of fucking reasons.

#gwen’s time to: talk about aemond <3. #aemond targaryen deserves better #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen angst #hotd x reader #aemond targaryen x you #i’m gonna protect babygirl <3 at all costs

[fromkenari]

A mass of fools and knaves

The full email exchange between Alex Claremont Diaz and Prince Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor from Chapter Nine of Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. Put here for my best friend to read.

A mass of fools and knaves A [email protected]                8/10/20 1:04 AM to Henry H, Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t. You’d probably be disinherited for revolutionary sympathies. Well, since I got the boot from the campaign, there is literally nothing for me to do but watch cable news (diligently chipping away at my brain cells by the day) and sort through all my old shit from college. Just looking at papers, thinking: Excellent, yes, I’m so glad I stayed up all night writing this for a 98 in the class, only to get summarily fired from the first job I ever had and exiled to my bedroom! Great job, Alex! Is this how you feel in the palace all the time? It fucking sucks, man. So anyway, I’m going through my college stuff, and I find this analysis I did of Hamilton’s wartime correspondence, and hear me out: I think Hamilton could have been bi. His letters to Laurens are almost as romantic as his letters to his wife. Half of them are signed “Yours” or “Affectionately yrs,” and the last one before Laurens died is signed “Yrs for ever.” I can’t figure out why nobody talks about the possibility of a Founding Father being not straight (outside of Chernow’s biography, which is great btw, see attached bibliography). I mean, I know why, but. Anyway, I found this part of a letter he wrote to Laurens, and it made me think of you. And me, I guess: The truth is I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis. I say this to you because you know it and will not charge me with vanity. I hate Congress���I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you … Thinking about history makes me wonder how I’ll fit into it one day, I guess. And you too. I kinda wish people still wrote like that. History, huh? Bet we could make some. Affectionately yrs, slowly going insane, Alex, First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 239-241). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry [email protected]                8/10/20 4:18 AM to A Alex, First Son of Masturbatory Historical Readings: The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. Every time you mention your slow decay inside the White House, I can’t help but feel it’s my fault, and I feel absolutely shit about it. I’m sorry. I should have known better than to turn up at a thing like that. I got carried away; I didn’t think. I know how much that job meant to you. I just want to … you know. Extend the option. If you wanted less of me, and more of that—the work, the uncomplicated things—I would understand. Truly. In any event … Believe it or not, I have actually done a bit of reading on Hamilton, for a number of reasons. First, he was a brilliant writer. Second, I knew you were named after him (the pair of you share an alarming number of traits, by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c). And third, some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context. Are you angling for a revolutionary soldier role-play scenario? I must inform you, any trace of King George III blood I have would curdle in my very veins and render me useless to you. Or are you suggesting you’d rather exchange passionate letters by candlelight? Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? I think perhaps Hamilton said it better in a letter to Eliza: You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. If you did decide to take the option mentioned at the start of this email, I do hope you haven’t read the rest of this rubbish. Regards, Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 241-243). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves A [email protected]                8/10/20 5:36 AM to Henry H, Please don’t be stupid. No part of any of this will ever be uncomplicated. Anyway, you should be a writer. You are a writer. Even after all this, I still always feel like I want to know more of you. Does that sound crazy? I just sit here and wonder, who is this person who knows stuff about Hamilton and writes like this? Where does someone like that even come from? How was I so wrong? It’s weird because I always know things about people, gut feelings that usually lead me in more or less the right direction. I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn’t have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? I wanna see you again and soon. I keep reading that one paragraph over and over again. You know which one. I want you back here with me. I want your body and I want the rest of you too. And I want to get the fuck out of this house. Watching June and Nora on TV doing appearances without me is torture. We have this annual thing at my dad’s lake house in Texas. Whole long weekend off the grid. There’s a lake with a pier, and my dad always cooks something fucking amazing. You wanna come? I kind of can’t stop thinking about you all sunburned and pretty sitting out there in the country. It’s the weekend after next. If Shaan can talk to Zahra or somebody about flying you into Austin, we can pick you up from there. Say yes? Yrs, Alex P.S. Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky—1958: Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 243-245). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry [email protected]                8/10/20 8:22 PM to A Alex, If I’m north, I shudder to think where in God’s name we’re going. I’m ruminating on identity and your question about where a person like me comes from, and as best as I can explain it, here’s a story: Once, there was a young prince who was born in a castle. His mother was a princess scholar, and his father was the most handsome, feared knight in all the land. As a boy, people would bring him everything he could ever dream of wanting. The most beautiful silk clothes, ripe fruit from the orangery. At times, he was so happy, he felt he would never grow tired of being a prince. He came from a long, long line of princes, but never before had there been a prince quite like him: born with his heart on the outside of his body. When he was small, his family would smile and laugh and say he would grow out of it one day. But as he grew, it stayed where it was, red and visible and alive. He didn’t mind it very much, but every day, the family’s fear grew that the people of the kingdom would soon notice and turn their backs on the prince. His grandmother, the queen, lived in a high tower, where she spoke only of the other princes, past and present, who were born whole. Then, the prince’s father, the knight, was struck down in battle. The lance tore open his armor and his body and left him bleeding in the dust. And so, when the queen sent new clothes, armor for the prince to parcel his heart away safe, the prince’s mother did not stop her. For she was afraid, now: afraid of her son’s heart torn open too. So the prince wore it, and for many years, he believed it was right. Until he met the most devastatingly gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years and who turned out to be the most mad sort of sorcerer, one who could conjure up things like gold and vodka shots and apricot tarts out of absolutely nothing, and the prince’s whole life went up in a puff of dazzling purple smoke, and the kingdom said, “I can’t believe we’re all so surprised.” I’m in for the lake house. I must admit, I’m glad you’re getting out of the house. I worry you may burn the thing down. Does this mean I’ll be meeting your father? I miss you. x Henry P.S. This is mortifying and maudlin and, honestly, I hope you forget it as soon as you’ve read it. P.P.S. From Henry James to Hendrik C. Andersen, 1899: May the terrific U.S.A. be meanwhile not a brute to you. I feel in you a confidence, dear Boy–which to show is a joy to me. My hopes and desires and sympathies right heartily and most firmly, go with you. So keep up your heart, and tell me, as it shapes itself, your (inevitably, I imagine, more or less weird) American story. May, at any rate, tutta quella gente be good to you.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 245-247). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

#leigh #a mass of fools and knaves #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #out of credits

[princelylove]

Dear Prince,

Before I begin I just wanted to say I absolutely adore your writings as it hits the nail on the head for the characters personality every time and brings joy to my heart.

I’m usually rather shy but since it’s my birthday I decided to take a chance so if I may be so bold to ask what would it be like to have both Diavolo and Doppio share their darling? I can only imagine it to be both isolating and suffocating all at once.

Anyways thank you for all the wonderful writings I promise not to swallow them whole….at least today.

- peachy anon

Haaappy birth-day to youuu. Haaaappy biiiirth-day to-you. 

Aha. Why did you bring sizable utensils, anon? What are those for, anon? 

Asking for a protective and an obsessive together is like begging for no social life. You’re not extroverted, are you? Well, you’ll have plenty of social interaction with plural people! Two is the absolute minimum for plural, but it still counts. 

I dislike the common mischaracterization that Doppio wouldn’t stand up to Diavolo, partially because it’s also mischaracterizing Dia. Boss lightly suggests and guides poor, sweet Doppi, and Doppio does all the dirty work so Boss doesn't have to. Doppio has no problem telling him to just sit down, shut the fuck up, and let him handle it, though. Diavolo is the boss, duh, but sometimes Doppi just knows better. Who courted Donatella, huh? (Doppio says, as if he didn’t hate that entire thing and did it since Boss had zero chance of getting her himself.)

Still. Doppio relies heavily on Diavolo for long-term endeavors. He only knows how to take care of Diavolo, and… Dia isn’t the most normal individual. At least he blindly accepts your oddities. Doppio’s sweet, but he doesn’t understand that you cannot force someone who’s shy into a new environment, with a stranger, and have everything be alright. Why not? That’s practically how he met the boss! (Don’t ask him how he met ‘the boss.’)

Diavolo may know your needs better, and he's quite romantic, but he isn't really equipped to do it himself. That, and you cannot be casual with him, he’s just not the type of person you’d address informally. He’s also a terrible cook. And terrible at comforting you. Thankfully Doppio steps in where he’s lacking, but it’s not as if Diavolo is awful and Doppio is the easier option. 

There’s pros and cons to both of your options for what to do with your free time. Doppio has the advantage of, you know, not being a major creep, so you probably like him a bit more at the start, even though he’s clearly the one that took you. He doesn’t hide it, it’s not like he’s ashamed. Doppio’s pretty strong! If he can pick up Risotto then he can surely pick you up, for a little less violent (hopefully) ride back home. 

Doppio isn't very verbally affectionate, whereas Diavolo will smother you with every adjective and pet name he can think of. Sometimes he gets so overwhelmed (cuteness aggression, probably) that he can only make noses instead of proper words. Ohhh, you’re so cute, let him kiss youuu….. No kiss kiss? Just one kissy?

If you do not like change, it isn’t an easy adjustment. Diavolo demands that you all move from hotel to motel and back again, it’s safer that way. Now that he has you to worry about, which he really didn’t want to give in and take you just yet, he’s even more paranoid. There’s absolutely no wiggle room with him. You are allowed to have some sense of familiarity, but nothing too distinct or uncommon. Something that housekeeping wouldn’t think much of should you both need to momentarily step out. (Although he’d prefer to not do that.) 

A blanket or stuffed animal isn’t enough to help you adjust to an entirely new environment every two weeks or so, or every  month if he’s stable and Doppio is soothing him. It’s hard to feel like you aren’t intruding on their relationship, too, sometimes. They have their own dynamic and have loved one another for a long time, they’re both 33 by the time vento aureo takes place, so it’s… hard to socialize, even if they take the time to focus on you, and you obviously don’t see the two of them at the same time.

You'll learn, though. They can be bearable if you adjust to their lifestyle. Diavolo would never let his darling live a non-spoiled life, and Doppio is well intentioned despite how creepy he can be. You'll be taken care of.

#request granted #peachy anon #yandere diavolo #yandere vinegar doppio #yandere diadop x reader

[scullysflannel]

i remember seeing your post about why bcs is better than breaking bad, with this last episode, how do you think it stands as an antithesis of breaking bad?

it's become even more obvious this season that better call saul is not at all the antithesis of breaking bad, even though it is the antithesis of the kind of antihero story breaking bad exemplified. both shows are about moral agency in the wild west. they assert choice as identity (you are what you choose to do) and ask whether those choices redefine you or just reveal who you are intrinsically. they're both about men who become the architects of their own destruction and about how one person's actions can trap others.

I think better call saul is doing it in a much sadder and richer way. jimmy is acting out of deflected love, in a system that gives him fewer options to succeed without bending the rules. walt is handed an out early on from his wealthy ex-partners, but he doesn't take it because of his pride. he does what he does for entirely selfish reasons: money, power, ego, control. I've seen some pushback against walt hate on the premise that it ignores the humanity in the writing or whatever, so let me be clear: walt sucks because he's written like a human being. he's terrible to his son and only dotes on him when he wants to feel like a big provider. he ignores and lies to his pregnant wife. his students don't like him. he thinks he cares about jesse, but he's manipulating him, and he's at his most affectionate when he has the most control over him. that's not real care. I do think in the later seasons it sometimes borders on ridiculous how loathsome walt can be, and he's not the best character on breaking bad (jesse, skyler, mike, and hank are all more interesting. marie and gus are cooler). but the writers took care to root the worst things about him in personality traits that clearly predated his little meth empire. this is not a good guy we caught at a bad time. this is a small man who's masked his bitterness in socially acceptable ways for years.

in better call saul the chain reaction is more tangled. jimmy takes the opportunities that he's given to change, and then he tanks them, and his self-sabotage is both a fatal flaw and a response to legitimate structural problems in the legal system. (the rules are harder to justify when those rules are designed to maintain a status quo that makes upward mobility so hard, makes forgiveness so hard. think of jimmy's speech in "winner": one teenage shoplifting incident will follow you forever. they are never, ever letting you in. he got a whole law degree, but it was from an online university, so should it count?) he's much more shaped by other people than walt is ("people tell me how they see me"). better call saul builds on the big ideas in breaking bad but really commits to making the world around the fucked-up guy fucked up too, and it makes the tragedy so much deeper. because ultimately it's still a story about personal responsibility, just as breaking bad is. even when you have no good options, you still have to live with your choices.

being a prequel pushes better call saul to be smarter (which is what I was saying in the post you mentioned). it makes the characters more reflective. shoutout to the new yorker article that pointed out what it does to the show that the actors look older, as if the characters are trapped reliving their pasts without the power to change them. jimmy believes his fate is sealed, and as a result we get to watch him seal it. it's agonizing. that's where better call saul diverges from the breaking bad antihero formula: there's no (lasting) thrill in watching him make bad choices because we know what they'll do to him in the long run. but rebuking the walter white problem doesn't make better call saul breaking bad's opposite; it just makes it a more fulfilling version of the same story.

#bcs #breaking bad

[y-the-youthful]

✉ i want them all

㊁ : emergency

[TXT: Absolutely Delightful]

I think they tried to kill me. I'm scared. [Deleted]

Come see me please.

♡ : endearing/affectionate/loving

[TXT: Absolutely Delightful]

Is it strange that I like patching up your injuries? You should give me better times to be affectionate with you or it's going to get confusing.

👅 : sext/suggestive

[TXT: Absolutely Delightful]

You have beautiful hands, I'd like to feel them more.

♪ : musical/lyrics

[TXT: Gone.]

[CosmoSheldrakeOwlSong.mp3]

★ : wrong number

[TXT: Gone.]

We cannot let them incinerate him. I won't let it happen.

☯ : angry/hateful

[TXT: Gone.]

You bastard, how dare you leave me behind. What am I supposed to do with this?

This is what happens when you don't tell me things!

I hate you.

Bastard.

Scumbag.

I miss you. ♖ : drunk/drugged

[TXT: Gone.]

I wonder if this would have been a slower option than how you went? I don't think we can compare notes.

Is your ghost reading these texts in that coffin of yours.

If yes send me a vaguely ominous message in my ear before I finally go.

Fuck.

I'm still here.

I think I heard you.

♛ : worried

[TXT: Absolutely Delightful]

You haven't sent any messages in a while. I hope you didn't stay up all night again. I'll come up with breakfast, it's too loud downstairs.

♘ : late night

[TXT: Gone.]

I don't know if I believe in ghosts. You can say whatever you want to me, I think I'm too scared to see you. I cannot smell a ghost I think. I don't know where you are. What would happen if I dug you up? We weren't able to find your grave, but if you text me maybe you can tell us.

We can do whatever you want, I promise I'll do it. B will even behave.

One time when I asked L how he felt with being L he told me I would know soon enough. I didn't know it then but I think I do now.

Lonely.

Please come back, I hate this.

I promise I won't complain anymore.

#answered #a for alternative #man playing that Owl Song during this fucked me up #A in his coffin just flipping through his phone after waking up because they buried it with him

[zadrkinkmeme23]

Weekly Update Dec 23

(Dec 17 Update)

(Dec 10 Update)

(Dec 3 Update)

(Kink Meme Info Post)

Merry Jingly and happy holidays, all! 💚

We've had an outstanding week, with one new fic fill and six new prompts! I'll get into those more beneath the cut in a second~

With just three weeks left until the event ends, now is the unofficial deadline for prompts. You can submit your prompts right up to the actual deadline, of course, but to give our participants a chance to complete their fills before Jan 14th, we would highly recommend you submit them now!

Any fics completed after Jan 14th can still be added to the Collection, just message us to arrange something as we'll do our best to help! You can also post your fills here on tumblr and tag us with the tag 'zadrkmeme', or submit them directly to our blog.

Prompts can be used throughout the year for inspiration/however you want!

With all that being said, let's get on to the fun stuff~

First up, our newest fic fill!

'Dib's Game' - After Dib falls asleep in a compromising position, Zim is left trapped in something of a predicament.

Tags - Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Fight Sex, Hate Sex, Light Bondage, Handcuffs, Cock Warming, Vaginal Sex, Zim Has A Penis & Vagina, Somnophilia, Technically Consensual Somnophilia but Dib falls asleep by accident, Praise Kink, Affectionate Insults, Subspace, Sleep Sex, Ambiguous Relationship, Whether this is ZADR or ZADE with benefits it up to the reader, Predicament Bondage, Aged-Up Characters, ZADRKinkmeme23fill

Please check it out, as well as our other fics, and show our participants some love 💚

Next up are our six brand new prompts! These are all shortened summaries, so if you're interested in claiming one then please head over to our AO3 Event Page here.

Author’s Choice: Dib/Zim, Dubious Consent, Cock Warming, Zim Has A Penis & Vagina

Dib falls asleep after orgasming with his cock still inside of Zim, so Zim has to try and get Dib off of him

Butt Stuff for Zim: Dib/Zim, Anal, Zim Has A Penis & Vagina

Zim has a pussy but Dib decides to get all up in that green asshole anyway. He can use his fingers, tongue, toys, or shove his dick up there. It's all good. Should be enjoyable and consensual for both parties.

“Can I crush your balls?”: Dib/Zim, Cock & Ball Torture, Sadism, Masochism

Zim does some not-so-nice things to Dib's junk.

Untitled: Dib/Zim

Zim and Dib have sex in front of a camera.

YeeHaw: Dib/Zim, Anal Sex, Bottoming From The Top

Dib rides Zim's dick.

Sexy Attack of the Clones: Dib/Zim, Clone Sex, Clones, Threesome (Optional Tags: Spitroasting, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in One Hole

There's been an incident with a cloning machine, and now there's TWO Zims. Naturally, Dib fucks them both at the same time.

And that's everything for this week! Next week's update will also be on Saturday to accommodate the holidays. Until then, thank you for reading, and I hope you're having an awesome day! 💚

#zadr #zadrkmeme #18+ only #kink meme #prompt meme

[danceworshipper]

And now, a secondary HPHL quartet that no one, not even I, asked for:

In this universe, only one of them has the Ancient Magic connection. The rest are special in their own ways. Introducing:

The MC: Persephone Malfoy

- Persephone follows the game's storyline almost perfectly. The main change is that she's a Malfoy, and thus has previous knowledge of the wizarding world. Her family originally thought she was a Squib (and hated her for it). Receiving her letter was an absolute shock, even for her, and even more surprising was how quickly she took to the magic that had refused her for so long. Being the failure middle child, Persephone has grown to be a bit of a callous bitch, but she also bonds quickly with anyone that could be considered an underdog or anyone who ignores her family name when speaking with her. Her pink hair is not natural - she was born with the well-known Malfoy platinum - but instead dyed with muggle hair dye, a "nasty habit" she's had for a few years now. Being sorted into Gryffindor unlike her siblings is one of her greatest achievements. Her parents are furious, and that's just the way she likes them. Seph's not used to being a leader, but she quickly discovers that she's damn good at it. @autisticarachnid she's the one I asked for your advice for a while ago!

Wohali Hopkins

- Listen. I had a bizarre dream a while ago about the HP universe and for some reason, my subconscious gave me some new lore: purple people. The image shown of Wohali isn't entirely accurate - his skin should be purple too. Here's the lore: in pureblood families, a child could randomly be born completely purple. These purple babies are seen as (in this era) a sign of perfectly pure blood; the absolute pinnacle of wizardkind. Purple witches and wizards usually had much more powerful and advanced magic, and were capable of doing things all others could not. Wohali is half Native American on his mother's side and grew up in the US, but he was sent to Hogwarts in his second year because his father didn't think that Ilvermorny was treating him with the proper reverence, aka, special treatment. You'd think Wohali would be a dick with a dad like that, but he actually hates his dad and doesn't want that sort of attention - but like a true Slytherin, he will use it to his advantage.

Alistair Royce

- I made this guy for one reason and one reason only: Leander Prewett. I didn't mean to, but I ended up a little obsessed with the idiot and needed a suave oc to make him trip over his own feet, so here he is. Alistair is an openly gay, very flirty Quidditch star who happens to have his eyes set on this absolute fucking loser (affectionate). Besides that, he's a total closet nerd - he takes Arithmancy and Ancient Runes of his own free will and has been begging for the option to take Alchemy since third year. He's teaching himself some of the most difficult types of magic in his free time. Why is Al a Hufflepuff if he's so intelligent? Simple: lack of motivation. He's one of the smartest wizards in the entire school, but he struggles to pay attention in class unless it's actually challenging, and because of Quidditch he fails to study and do his homework a lot of the time. Plus, he's one of the most outgoing guys around. He finds spending time with his friends and enjoying life far more important than his grades.

Gloria Ulbinn

- Gloria was made to round out the quartet. I had nothing for her for the longest time other than a vague idea of her appearance, but I finally figured it out. Gloria is a nosy girl who knows things about people. She can make anyone obsessed with her, or hate her, or plague them with nightmares they can't escape, because she's a Dreamwalker. Dream magic is incredibly difficult and under-studied as a subject in the Wizarding World, but since her birth she's been able to appear in people's dreams and influence them. She's never actually had a dream of her own. This ability is incredibly useful in some ways, but it's also her darkest secret. Since she can't not enter someone's dream each night, her presence tends to screw with a person's subconscious. Once, she got someone addicted to her, and if she didn't enter their dreams they'd wake up screaming in a cold sweat - and it can go the other way, too. She's nice! Just... maybe sleep with one eye open.

#finally got them all figured out! now to actually do full profiles for everyone #hogwarts legacy #my ocs #persephone malfoy #wohali hopkins #alistair royce #gloria ulbinn #push the limits universe #playing with seph atm in between trying to 100% esme's file

[cherrykamado]

thank u for conductin that servey, its really depressing to see the writing community nowadays, i left a response as well; the "oh hey that's me" one

I BELIEVE THAT people do not realize what tumblr is all about: its meant to be a place where you reblog stuff you like and likes don't really mean anything. reblogs are the only way that posts get any traction and i dont think instagram users or tik tok users have that understanding yet. instagram you just like and move on, tik tok probably the same thing idk i dont use tik tok. blank blogs are so annoying to me as a long time tumblr user (10+ fucking years on this hellsite (affectionate)) i just assume they're pornbots or whatever

tbh if writers delete or go on indefinite hiatuses, most readers and fand just forget and move on. people believe theres an endless stream of content and they just keep on scrolling or whatever :// what a depressing thought

ngl after privating my writing blog and not writing for a long time its been so nice. i do miss the feedback and nice asks but the radio silence is just so depressing for my new works. if there was an option to do so, i would LOVE to turn off likes on my posts.

thanks for confirming my opinion of new tumblr users, i think they just really need to learn the real value of reblogs and TALKING to people. asks and comments and whatever are so fucking important. tumblr is one of the few social media that enables anon asks which is such a rare thing to see now a days. i LOVE anonimity i love having an internet persona and if anything, it should help with "shyness" or interoversion and let users just talk to people easier.

and thanks again for conductin the survey cherry <3 you are very appreciated and a valuable human being

ignore below its just word vomit

i hate social media i hate adding a paragraph worth of tags i hate algorithm i hate following trends i hate people who read and move on i hate readers who think they're entitled to content i hate people who dont care about content creators well being i hate the current state of fandom i hate existing online i hate having a social media presense i hate pointless and preventable discourse i hate when content creators create content to appeal to the algorithm and not writing for themselves

Sobs nonnie tysm for ur words!!! Nothing to thank for !!!

I agree that it's important to be mindful of people beyond them being writers. Registering that and somehow untense a weird idea of sticking to the idea that if you write you should only write and that's it, i think everything would be better.

hope u have a nice day <3

#🍒 — mail #☰ . anon !

[tangerinethecat]

If you're still doing the character bingo, how about Jevil?

Went back to the old bingo card because the options were better for this one with expressing my Jevil opinions.

"Done dirty by the fans" because: Twink Jevil art exists. WHY does Twink Jevil art exist. I will fucking destroy you why did you do this to him. Like sure I only really saw it in the VERY early fandom days but WHY. If you drew him as a tall skinny anime boy I will fucking-

"Done dirty by the creators" because: WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PLUSH, FANGAMER ok but also he just isn't given as much attention as I think he should? This kinda applies to a couple of the other checkboxes too so I'll go into this more in a sec.

"Wasted potential" because: He seemed like a really interesting character, but it wasn't explored nearly as much as it should've. I thought we'd get some more lore about him and his history later on, but... We really didn't get much in Chapter 2. Meanwhile Spamton's lore was pretty well fleshed-out, and that was the introductory chapter of the silly salesman. I mean, I guess Spamton hating Jevil counts as "some more lore" for Jevil, but it's not really a lot. I wanna know what Jevil did to get locked up (I assume it was violent, but who did he attack? Were there casualties?), I wanna know how long his sentence was, and how long he had served so far. I want to know how his personality was before he met the "strange man". But right now it's all just left up to the imagination, I guess...

"Popular ships suck" because: I do not like Jevil x Spamton. Sorry. I just don't vibe with shipping a character with someone he canonically hates? Spamton hates Jevil, that's that. And no, the Q&A did not make them "canonically divorced", Spamton was cheating in games, not a relationship. Now, I was ok with Jevil x Seam which was popular in the Chapter 1 days, but it seems to be less popular now in favor of shipping with Spamton. :/

"What's wrong with them (affectionate)" is self-explanatory, I think.

"Not enough screen time" is also pretty self-explanatory. Again, in comparison to Spamton, Jevil hardly shows up at all. He was hidden, his boss encounter is all you see of him. Meanwhile Spamton has his "regular" encounter that you experience in EVERY playthrough, not going out of your way for it. Then there's his shop and THEN the secret boss version. And also the Snowgrave version of that. Spamton gets a LOT of time to shine, but Jevil really didn't get anything like that. He's a good secret, but having him be so hidden came with a price, I guess.

"I would NEVER want to meet them" because: He's dangerous lol. I don't want to die.

#ask

[theeeveetamer]

Scarlet Blaze Liveblog: Chapter 7

Spilers under the cut, as per usual!

Explore

Oh right we recruited Ignatz didn’t we

I find it interesting that thus far no one we’ve recruited has been for any ideological reason. Ashe comes because he doesn’t want to kill his dad, Lorenz comes because his family decides to waffle for survival, and Ignatz surrenders and then later comes along because he’s working for Lorenz.

FLIRT WITH MANUELA!!! Too bad she never takes me seriously

I have some controversial opinions on this game’s depiction of Gatekeeper. Like, I feel like they were trying way too hard with him, and in the process somehow made him even more one note while also losing what was initially charming about him. The fact that they cut Gilbert, Cyril, Alois, and Hanneman but added this guy as a playable is a fucking travesty.

I’m sorry, I still can’t take the name Leopold seriously. Is my brain rotted out from too much South Park? Perhaps.

I keep trying to pick answers that everyone will hate but Shez is being quite agreeable despite my best efforts >:(

AW FERDIE AND LORENZ ARE CHATTING!

ThatsMyShip.jpg

Lmao @ the baron insulting me for my “baseborn stench”. Nice ally we got there, huh

Ok I swear to god when I ran up to Hubert he whispered some shit in my ear and I am Concerned

LMAO I SOLD ALL MY WEAPONS THAT WEREN’T RUSTED OR CURRENTLY EQUIPPED SO ASHE GOT A RUSTED AXE BY DEFAULT RIP

Edelgard wants to go on an expedition… Fine.

Forest I guess

Y’know one of these days I’m going to count the number of heart designs on Edelgard’s clothes. I can spot at least five just sitting here

I intentionally picked all the worst options lmao. They still like it tho even when you completely botch it

Supports

Caspar/Bernie C - “That armor isn’t big enough for a person to hide in”

Caspar

Caspar my buddy my pal

Armor is, by definition, exactly big enough for a person to fit in

In fact it’s entire purpose is to contain people for their protection

Caspar should be neither the reasonable nor the intelligent one in any conversation (affectionate)

Linhardt/Constance C - So if Constance’s family has been tricking crest investigators for a literal milenna so no one found out about the crest of Noa… how does Linhardt just know about it..?

Bernie/Petra B - Petra is a sadist got it lmao

I’m here for the Brigid lore tho

Shez/Caspar B - “Show some humility for once” LMAOOOOOOO ima pick that one

Shez/Caspar is actually kind of charming lmao

Edelgard/Ferdie C - Damn what was that tone to start off with. Some shady tone going on there.

Also the sad music damn

Ferdie: I was expecting a torture dungeon

Edelgard: We have one of those lol

Comforting

This legal system sounds like shit lmao

“Oh we can’t find any evidence that he’s guilty so let’s just assume that he is” um what lmao

There’s a reason justice systems kind of operate on a… y’know, you can’t prove a negative rule?

So Daddy Aegir… cheats on his taxes?

Ferdie is so depressed lmao. Poor kid.

Linhardt/Bernie C - WHY IS SHE ON HER KNEES RIGHT NEXT TO HIS CROTCH

Uh

Sorry

Is Bernie peeping on a sex scene

(they’re literally just standing there becaues this is Fodlan what is an animation lol, but let’s pretend)

“Neither of them seems to be dead yet” Lin. Lin. What kind of sex are you having Lin

Lin continues to be the only self aware mfer in this house. “Aw how sweet that they’re sharing a romantic moment when they’ll probably be dead tomorrow”. Savage.

AND HE DROPS LIKE A ROCK LMAO

Ferdie/Bernie C - Weird this is another support that only goes up to C. I don’t recall the Lions having like… any of these?

They’re eating the weeds lmao

“Such luster! Such size!” size queen Ferdie lmao

Shez/Lorenz C - Idk if I want to include the contents of this since I plan on doing a GW run at some point and I imagine it’ll be like, basically the same, but I did get it.

This conversation makes my head hurt

Side Battles

“Chase the enemy down and annihilate them”

That’s a good guy thing to do!

Oh? Space time dimension Arval convo?

Oh I think this is the same as the other routes. Lame

“The Alliance army is using a stronghold in Gloucester territory to obstruct the Imperial army’s advance. Sack it.”

That’s a good guy thing to do!

OMG I SENT ASHE INTO THE FIGHT WITH THE RUSTED AXE

He still kicked ass tho because I’m like. 20 levels above the recommended level lmao

The alliance Baron is a thief hahahahha nice touch

MOMMY JUDITH IS BACK AGAIN!!!!!!

Hope we don’t have to murder you in cold blood this time

Paralogue Battles

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH I forgot we have paraloooooooogues

I’m guessing this is Bernie’s. The question is, do I care

Oh no Dorothea’s too

This game just loooooves wasting my time, eh.

Alright fine I’ll do it. Starting off with Bernie and Monica.

“We’re rounding up anyone who can help. Which is just the three of us” yeah fuck that generic mage guy lmao

Omg I just realized… I didn’t level up Monica… she’s level 3… RIP…

Omg Bernie’s mom gets a shoutout. Probably not a name tho. This fucking game…

“I’m looking for the lost Fretters of Dromi”

*side eyes my inventory and the Fretters of Dromi Yuri rolled in with”

Yep no idea where that could be

“We needed a bargaining chip to ply the Archbishop with” dude. You like. Used her sibling’s corpse as a bargaining chip to get her to agree with you. That’s so fucked up.

Obligatory Myson paralogue appearance

This actually wasn’t too bad. Monica put in a surprisingly good effort for being level 3 lmao. Maybe because I gave her Thrysus

Honestly I don’t really have much to say about this one. It’s… kind of a wasted paralogue. Monica doesn’t engage meaningfully with TWSITD (even though they literally kidnapped her and locked her up???) and Bernie is just… Bernie. The final dialogue is everyone just teasing/shitting on Bernie. Definitely nothing as meaningful or character development-y as the Dedue/Felix/Ingrid paralogue, or the Ashe/Catherine/Yuri paralogue, or the Sylvain/Dimitri/Rodrigue paralogue… you get the idea. The most we get is some vague info on Bernie’s mom being worried about her.

ON TO DOROTHEA/MANUELA PARALOGUE

Starts off with a random generic soldier guy shouting his love for Manuela. My kind of people

Adrienne??? A girl??? Gets a name???? In this game???

Manuela just casually being like “Yeah we have to thump a few incels” same girl. Same

Also I’m guessing the dialogue changes slightly depending on if you’ve gotten Dorothea’s supports? Cuz Shez says “we’ve been over this, I’m not that into this” which is what their support with Dorothea was all about.

“Thief was revealed to be a MANUELA FANATIC” same bro, same

Oh there’s a Dorothea fan too. JUST a fan tho, not a fanatic

Ok this is kind of amusing

OMG HANNEMAN SHOWED UP

LMAOOOO “Hanneman! You came for me!!! <3 Wait… am I actually into this???”

Yes, yes you are Manuela. I ship it.

Much better than the last paralogue. At least this one provides some interesting backstory for the characters involved. Also Manuela and Hanneman being Mom and Dad lmao.

Kinda disappointed we didn’t get a random Shez fanatic tho lmao. Would have been peak comedy

Main Battle

I just noticed the title of this war map (chapter?) is “The Blitz of Riegan”

Blitz. That’s a good guy word!

Ok, on to the main chapter battle!

If this game had some balls we’d learn about how Bergliez’s men had to engage in cannibalism in order to survive the siege

And now looks like we get Raphael, Lysithea, and Marianne

OH interesting, in order to recruit Raphael you HAVE to have Ignatz with you. Gay.

(Yeah I ship that too, what of it?)

I think that only happened one time in AG, with Mercie?

Also thankfully it warned me lmao because I was not going to bring Ignatz to this party

“I have to knock some sense into you Raphael!” Yeah fuck that guy for defending his homeland

1800 kills for an S rank seems a little excessive

Also it’s ridiculous how much map reuse is going on here

Sothis cheater moment lmao

Post Battle Stuff

“Maybe I should have just let the Empire have their way” ok AG had this issue as well. Why is this game so weirdly insistent on trying to demonize people defending their homes from invaders.

Same cutscenes with Arval and Byleth. Lame.

Oh my god. Arianhrod is a sex joke. AND CASPAR DOESN’T GET IT LMFAO

Oh my god that was a genuine laugh from me that’s wonderful

Shez’s comment about the Ashen demon comes out of nowhere lmao.

Ugh. Dimitri is being such a king I love him. Why are we just the worst in this route

I also find it interesting that they don’t invert the colors of the factions. So we still have the evil villain red lines, and Dimitri still has the Fire Emblem Protag blue lines.

You know how else we could have avoided all these needless battles and saved countless lives, Edelgard? Not starting a war. That avoids a lot of needless battles. That saves a lot of lives.

“Fanatics dying for the central church” or. You know. People from the Kingdom. Not uh, not wanting you to take over their homelands tax them to shit and subjugate their peoples. That’s a motivator as well.

Oh god now we have to have a private conversation with Edelgard

Shez: I don’t know what you’re doing and that’s exactly why I follow you!

Well that’s fucking stupid, Shez. Are you stupid? You appear to have lost quite a few braincells between AG and now

Honestly I’m… not really sure what this conversation was trying to advance? The Kingdom Nobility were “reabsorbed into Faerghus without even a slap on the wrist”? And that’s portrayed as a bad thing that needs to be stopped… even though Edelgard admits two seconds later that she does the EXACT same thing?

And how do we even know they’re getting off without punishment? We can’t see what’s going on in the Kingdom? And if you play AG you know for a fact that they do not get off without punishment because… like half of AG is focused on punishing them.

This really feels like “pull some shit out of our asses to make this conflict look justified” hours.

Which, to be clear. It’s not. It’s not justified at all. I almost wish I could throw this entire war because I feel like a bad person for sitting here watching this game repeatedly shit on completely justifiable resistance to a foreign invasion as if it’s somehow a bad thing. Why the fuck are we even doing this again??? For the lolz???

Also I finally made popcorn after this one. And I discovered Balthus gold grinding soooooo life is pretty good now!

#SB Liveblogging #Scarlet Blaze Spoilers #few3h

[fromkenari]

Waterloo Letters #3: A mass of fools and knaves

A mass of fools and knaves A [email protected]                8/10/20 1:04 AM to Henry H, Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t. You’d probably be disinherited for revolutionary sympathies. Well, since I got the boot from the campaign, there is literally nothing for me to do but watch cable news (diligently chipping away at my brain cells by the day) and sort through all my old shit from college. Just looking at papers, thinking: Excellent, yes, I’m so glad I stayed up all night writing this for a 98 in the class, only to get summarily fired from the first job I ever had and exiled to my bedroom! Great job, Alex! Is this how you feel in the palace all the time? It fucking sucks, man. So anyway, I’m going through my college stuff, and I find this analysis I did of Hamilton’s wartime correspondence, and hear me out: I think Hamilton could have been bi. His letters to Laurens are almost as romantic as his letters to his wife. Half of them are signed “Yours” or “Affectionately yrs,” and the last one before Laurens died is signed “Yrs for ever.” I can’t figure out why nobody talks about the possibility of a Founding Father being not straight (outside of Chernow’s biography, which is great btw, see attached bibliography). I mean, I know why, but. Anyway, I found this part of a letter he wrote to Laurens, and it made me think of you. And me, I guess: The truth is I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis. I say this to you because you know it and will not charge me with vanity. I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you … Thinking about history makes me wonder how I’ll fit into it one day, I guess. And you too. I kinda wish people still wrote like that. History, huh? Bet we could make some. Affectionately yrs, slowly going insane, Alex, First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry [email protected]                8/10/20 4:18 AM to A Alex, First Son of Masturbatory Historical Readings: The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. Every time you mention your slow decay inside the White House, I can’t help but feel it’s my fault, and I feel absolutely shit about it. I’m sorry. I should have known better than to turn up at a thing like that. I got carried away; I didn’t think. I know how much that job meant to you. I just want to … you know. Extend the option. If you wanted less of me, and more of that—the work, the uncomplicated things—I would understand. Truly. In any event … Believe it or not, I have actually done a bit of reading on Hamilton, for a number of reasons. First, he was a brilliant writer. Second, I knew you were named after him (the pair of you share an alarming number of traits, by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c). And third, some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context. Are you angling for a revolutionary soldier role-play scenario? I must inform you, any trace of King George III blood I have would curdle in my very veins and render me useless to you. Or are you suggesting you’d rather exchange passionate letters by candlelight? Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? I think perhaps Hamilton said it better in a letter to Eliza: You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. If you did decide to take the option mentioned at the start of this email, I do hope you haven’t read the rest of this rubbish. Regards, Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft

Re: A mass of fools and knaves A [email protected]                8/10/20 5:36 AM to Henry H, Please don’t be stupid. No part of any of this will ever be uncomplicated. Anyway, you should be a writer. You are a writer. Even after all this, I still always feel like I want to know more of you. Does that sound crazy? I just sit here and wonder, who is this person who knows stuff about Hamilton and writes like this? Where does someone like that even come from? How was I so wrong? It’s weird because I always know things about people, gut feelings that usually lead me in more or less the right direction. I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn’t have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? I wanna see you again and soon. I keep reading that one paragraph over and over again. You know which one. I want you back here with me. I want your body and I want the rest of you too. And I want to get the fuck out of this house. Watching June and Nora on TV doing appearances without me is torture. We have this annual thing at my dad’s lake house in Texas. Whole long weekend off the grid. There’s a lake with a pier, and my dad always cooks something fucking amazing. You wanna come? I kind of can’t stop thinking about you all sunburned and pretty sitting out there in the country. It’s the weekend after next. If Shaan can talk to Zahra or somebody about flying you into Austin, we can pick you up from there. Say yes? Yrs, Alex P.S. Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky—1958: Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry [email protected]                8/10/20 8:22 PM to A Alex, If I’m north, I shudder to think where in God’s name we’re going. I’m ruminating on identity and your question about where a person like me comes from, and as best as I can explain it, here’s a story: Once, there was a young prince who was born in a castle. His mother was a princess scholar, and his father was the most handsome, feared knight in all the land. As a boy, people would bring him everything he could ever dream of wanting. The most beautiful silk clothes, ripe fruit from the orangery. At times, he was so happy, he felt he would never grow tired of being a prince. He came from a long, long line of princes, but never before had there been a prince quite like him: born with his heart on the outside of his body. When he was small, his family would smile and laugh and say he would grow out of it one day. But as he grew, it stayed where it was, red and visible and alive. He didn’t mind it very much, but every day, the family’s fear grew that the people of the kingdom would soon notice and turn their backs on the prince. His grandmother, the queen, lived in a high tower, where she spoke only of the other princes, past and present, who were born whole. Then, the prince’s father, the knight, was struck down in battle. The lance tore open his armor and his body and left him bleeding in the dust. And so, when the queen sent new clothes, armor for the prince to parcel his heart away safe, the prince’s mother did not stop her. For she was afraid, now: afraid of her son’s heart torn open too. So the prince wore it, and for many years, he believed it was right. Until he met the most devastatingly gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years and who turned out to be the most mad sort of sorcerer, one who could conjure up things like gold and vodka shots and apricot tarts out of absolutely nothing, and the prince’s whole life went up in a puff of dazzling purple smoke, and the kingdom said, “I can’t believe we’re all so surprised.” I’m in for the lake house. I must admit, I’m glad you’re getting out of the house. I worry you may burn the thing down. Does this mean I’ll be meeting your father? I miss you. x Henry P.S. This is mortifying and maudlin and, honestly, I hope you forget it as soon as you’ve read it. P.P.S. From Henry James to Hendrik C. Andersen, 1899: May the terrific U.S.A. be meanwhile not a brute to you. I feel in you a confidence, dear Boy–which to show is a joy to me. My hopes and desires and sympathies right heartily and most firmly, go with you. So keep up your heart, and tell me, as it shapes itself, your (inevitably, I imagine, more or less weird) American story. May, at any rate, tutta quella gente be good to you.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 239-247). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

#a mass of fools and knaves #waterloo letters #you probably see this one quoted often #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #out of credits

[raised-by-w0lves]

so ******* asked me to be his girlfriend on friday night.

i have been in a haze of happiness. i hadn't even noticed when the clock rolled into sunday, 24 hours since the word "boyfriend" first slipped from my mouth.

but at the same time i am plagued with doubt. just three weeks ago i was writing about him under an alias and dating other people and swiping on the apps and suddenly now he's supposed to be one of the most important people in my life?

reasons i have doubt:

he talks a lot. which is helpful because i'm so awestruck around him but also i feel like he hasn't learned a lot about me, especially my failings. so he's built up an idealized image of me in his head that i cannot live up to.

we haven't talked about major compatibility things. things we have talked about: kids (i'm no, he's neutral), goals for next couple years, where we want to be in the future (both seattle). but past relationships, marriage, life goals, sex, familial/personal issues, etc not at all. on one hand i'm young and living by the "as long as we enjoy each other's company" philosophy but also i feel like i haven't been thorough in vetting him for a relationship (or at least not as thorough as reddit thinks i should be).

i don't KNOW him. i was panicking last night and spiraling because i don't even know when his birthday is. like how can i agree to be in a committed relationship with someone whose life i only have a vague sense of?

i'm commitmentphobic. i'm scared of losing my happiness in my independence, which is something i've fought hard over my entire life to build. and i hate the idea of compromising to share my life with someone else. i can't shake the vague sense of dread that he *WILL* inevitably leave and that i don't want my life to become entangled with his.

i feel like we're moving fast partially because of physical attraction (how much of a part this plays, i don't know). he is super touchy and affectionate (which i love because i am GENUINELY so attracted to him) but we haven't even hooked up yet before deciding to be in a committed relationship. what happens if the sex is bad and there's nothing to sustain his interest??

the timeline is fucked. i have an idea of how i WANTED my online dating journey to work out -- not exclusive until he asks (fucked up by becoming essentially exclusive on our second date since i caught feelings and stopped seeing other people after that) and not being in a relationship until at LEAST several months of doing relationshipy things (staying over, meeting friends, etc) (fucked up by agreeing to be his girlfriend before doing any of those things). actually i was looking for something casual when i met him so everything is just incredibly totally FUCKED fucked.

i am just an insecure ass bitch. i think EVEN if all of the previous points could be proven false, i would still feel doubtful. it's absolutely mind-fuckingly unbelieveable to me that someone could want me the way i want them and want to spend time with me and be consistent and not be toying with other options and show genuine affection towards me despite the disgust and inadequacy that i feel for myself.

there are only two possible conclusions of this. it ends, or it lasts for one of our lifetimes. both are incredibly scary to me. i have a feeling that this breakup will absolutely crush me because it's the first time i've experienced truly reciprocated romantic interest. but i don't know if forever would be worse.

i am just a bag of mixed up feelings over this, pacing my room in circles as i run myself around in my head. yes this is good, i'm happy, no this is terrible, end it now, ....

but i guess the main takeaway is that, even with all my doubts, i am singularly happy unlike i have ever been in my life. and i've agreed to try this out, so that's what i'm going to do -- try my best. and think about things a day at a time. 妈妈没养个懒人！

#a-loving-feeling