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#this is absurd
luigra · 8 months
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THEY JUST COVERED THE PERIMETER. THEY JUST. IT'S GONE. THEY FILLED IT IN.
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k1d1c4rus · 2 months
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wet little kitten. sopping.
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reid, texting morgan: morgan! Help I’m being kidnapped morgan: where are you? reid: i’m with some strange person. in a car. help. morgan: hang on, i’ll call emily. emily, answering her cell: y’ello? morgan: where’s reid? he texted me that he was being kidnapped. emily: reid? what do you mean? he's right here- emily: emily: i’ll call you back. emily: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! reid: WHO ARE YOU?!
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mjjune · 8 months
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@staff you do realize some people are genuinely afraid of clowns? and you've now forced us all to see a clown on our dash?? without the option to remove it???
GIVE US AN OPTION TO REMOVE IT
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aeoris4lovers · 11 months
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matt…mac to you
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kujakumai · 4 months
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I answered that ask focusing on DM but it's genuinely so tragic how much worse at writing girls GX is than DM. DM messed up a lot when writing women in a number of ways but the through-line in GX is sheer thoughtlessness. The way all of the female students are from one dormitory (what, they couldn't be bothered to make a few more generic background character designs?). How we have not one not two but three episodes where Asuka has to duel where the stakes are "if you lose you have to date this guy" (they couldn't be bothered to think of any other plotline for her focus episodes?). Pretty sure you can literally count the number of named women at Duel Academy on one hand.
Like. They really could not be bothered. Atrocious.
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assortedasurathings · 8 months
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Gonna say
I find it Absolutely Hilarious How short-term Anet's Memory is. Did they forget designing Rata Primus ? The fact that the inquest contained and controlled dragon magic WITHOUT Having to have an elder dragon tell them how to do it?
Did they forget how Xunlai's designs were all based on older asura golems and work? did they forget how much buggier and unreliable Jade tech is?
So much buggier and so much more unreliable that that lady from one of the Ministries that goes on a world Tour Was absolutely flabbergasted to realize that Rata Sum has been flying for maybe Centuries and Has never experienced a single Power Hiccup??? Anet. Honeybun, Sweetie, no, The Canthans are not more advanced than Asura kind. They never will be. The ONE trait you gave asura is that they're the most advanced species on Tyria in terms of Magitech. And no amount of having Zojja write differently in her Journal will change that. Stop Fellating Humans. Stop trying desperately to make them the center of everything. Let. Other. Races. Exist. For. Once. You gave the humans the Centerpoint of the Sylvari Expansion You made ALL of POF about human lore and humans. You made the ICEBROOD SAGA forsake both Charr AND Norn at the same time by making humans the pivotal lynchpin in the war over the NORN dragon that the NORN didn't even get to be involved in beyond Braham. And of course, now in SoTo , You've finally managed to realize that other races exist... And STILL do everything you can to stroke off and praise the Literal Worst Race on Tyria. The Colonizers. The " Manifest Destiny But Real " . The guys who did everything they can to push other people off of their land. And then Blew up their Citizens to damn the Land to Eternal conflict once they lost. A fate literally worse than death . to be killed and reformed for eternity. Tyria does not revolve around humans. Neither should the story.
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justexistinghere122 · 3 months
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wtf how does Lana have 11 Grammy nominations but no wins????
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miasmaghoul · 1 year
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Valentinesday sex with Mountain and Rainy boi?
YES YES YES OH MY GOD THE M U S H IN THIS
Mountain being the sweetest boy pls
(it's another long one oopsie)
Rain is latching his instrument case shut after a practice session when his vision goes dark, the scent of fresh grass and wildflowers filling his nose.
"Guess who?"
It's rumbled into the back of his neck and Rain smiles, leaning against a broad chest and reaching up to grasp strong wrists.
"Dew, when did you get tall enough to kiss my neck?"
Mountain huffs out a snort into the soft curls at Rain's nape and drops his hands to the water ghoul's shoulders.
"Started drinking my milk," he rumbles, dragging his hands down the smaller ghoul's arms and turning him on the spot. Rain kisses his chin.
"Guess so," Rain says, wrapping his arms around Mountain's middle. The earth ghoul smiles and kisses him between the horns, holding Rain to his chest for a handful of moments.
"Come with me," he mutters into Rain's hair, and the water ghoul pulls back to look up at him. "Got something I'd like to show you in the greenhouse." Rain tilts his head.
"The greenhouse? It's after dark, we won't be able to see-"
"Just come with me, lilypad," Mountain says with a smirk and an eyeroll. "It's a surprise."
He laces his fingers with Rain's and the water ghoul lets himself be led out into the starlit night. He shivers in the February chill and Mountain pulls him close to his side, wraps a long arm around his shoulders. They reach the last bend in the path to the agricultural portion of the abbey grounds when Mountain stops him.
"Close your eyes," he murmurs. Rain raises an incredulous eyebrow, but does after a moment. Mountain resumes walking, guiding Rain by the shoulders.
"It's already dark out, this feels weird," Rain quietly gripes. Mountain gives him a squeeze.
"Have you never heard of a surprise, raincloud?" The earth ghoul's voice is low and teasing. "I'm not going to push you in the lake, I'm not actually Dewdrop."
Rain laughs and lets himself be led, Mountain humming for the rest of the short trek. Rain lets himself lean into the earth ghoul, basking in his gentle heat. Like a lizard on a sun-warm rock. Mountain brings them to a halt and Rain is hit with a wave of springtime, warm floral air enveloping him. Mountain pulls the greenhouse door closed behind them.
"Keep 'em closed," Mountain says, pressing a kiss to Rain's temple. The smaller ghoul nods, soaking in the humidity surrounding him. Letting the warmth drag the chill from his bones while Mountain shuffles around. Rain hears things being moved, the clink of something glass, the thud of metal on wood.
"Mount, what-"
"Almost done," he assures, voice off to Rain's right. Rain rocks on his feet, one arm crossed over his stomach to grip his opposite elbow, listening to the rustle of leaves as Mountain hurries back to stand behind him. He rests his hands on Rain's hips and his chin on Rain's shoulder and the water ghoul presses their cheeks together.
"Can I open my eyes yet?"
"Mmm, I don't know. You look awfully pretty like this," Mountain teases, pressing another kiss to Rain's temple while the other ghoul huffs out a chuckle. Mountain moves him where he wants him and steps back. "Go ahead, open."
Rain blinks a few times, bringing the room into focus and-
"Oh, wow." Rain's jaw slackens as he whispers the words, eyes wide, drinking in his surroundings.
The greenhouse stands transformed. The pallets of exotic flora that usually sat in the center of it have been moved, the plants themselves rearranged into a wide circle of lush greenery and vibrant blooms. The plants are all decorated with fairy lights, brilliant littles motes interspersed in their leaves reminiscent of the starry sky. They provide enough of a glow to illuminate the small table sitting at the center of the circle, a battered old thing no doubt dug from the depths of a storage shed. It's flanked by mismatched chairs and covered in a spread of pots and platters. There are wine glasses too, and some "fancy" plates from the common room, the ones that weren't plastic.
"Mountain..."
"Do you like it?" Mountain strides past Rain to the table, uncovering dishes. "I made your favorites, I think. You like rice more than pasta, right?" Rain doesn't respond and Mountain continues anyway. "Don't worry, no onions in anything, I remembered. Do you want wine? It's not great, but-"
Rain can't stop staring at the earth ghoul's back while he talks. He doesn't think he's ever heard Mountain say so much at one time. He's babbling, talking over himself and repeating the line about the onions again. Rain feels like his chest caving in.
"You...you did all of this?" Rain breathes the words into the air between them and Mountain falters, nearly dropping his $5 bottle of wine. When he turns his face is bright red, and Rain feels like his heart is going to explode.
"Well...yeah," Mountain mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck.
"For...for me?" Rain swallows around the lump in his throat as the earth ghoul stares at him. His eyes drift around again, taking in the lights, the food, the record player nearby poised to play. The blanket laid out to the left, covered in red rose petals. "All of this is...for me?"
"Yeah. For you. Happy valentine's day," Mountain says with a soft smile. Rain's attention is pulled back to the earth ghoul, his brow furrowed.
"Happy...what?" Rain watches Mountain finish pouring the wine, bringing a glass to him and sipping from his own. Rain takes a gulp - it tastes like grape-flavored feet. He doesn't care.
"It's a human thing Copia told me about," the earth ghouls says with a shrug. "A day to show someone how much you...care. About them." Mountain clears his throat and sips his drink. "I thought I'd," he gestures at the overwhelming about of obvious love surrounding them, "do something for you. Y'know. To show you I care."
Rain stares up at Mountain, watching little pink peonies of embarrassment bloom around his horns. They match the flush painting his freckled cheeks and the tips of his ears. He suddenly feels like he's never really seen Mountain before; the flecks of gold in his emerald eyes, the squared edges of his pupils, the chips in his curling two-toned horns, the streaks of red and gold in his hair. They're all suddenly thrown into sharp relief in the soft light, and Rain can't stand not being in his arms right now. He takes both of their glasses, setting them on the ground and blinking away his tears.
"Mount," he says, breathless. The earth ghoul huffs out an oof as Rain rushes forward, slamming into his chest and wrapping long arms around his waist. Rain buries his face in his neck and inhales until he can't anymore. Mountain heaves a sigh and lets himself collapse against Rain, just a little.
"Do you like it, water lily?" Rain has never heard Mountain sound so small. So unsure. He pulls back to show Mountain his smile, so wide it hurts.
"It's beautiful," he sighs. Mountain is looking at him like he hung the moon and it makes every inch of Rain burn. "Mountain, it's...thank you." He raises a hand to the taller ghoul's cheek, who leans into the touch with a purr.
"You deserve it," Mountain murmurs against his palm, and the words make Rain's whole body sing.
They also make him realize that he is incredibly, unbearably hard, cock throbbing against his zipper. His hands fist into Mountain's shirt with more than a little guilt, Rain scrunching his eyes shut and hoping the earth ghoul doesn't notice the way he shifts his hips.
"Rain," he rumbles, and it has that specific timbre to it that lets the water ghoul know he's been caught. He looks up at Mountain, blushing and sheepish. The taller ghoul smiles as he presses his thigh between Rain's legs. "Is this what I think it is?" The hesitance and nerves are gone, replaced by smooth seduction that has Rain's eyes going heavy.
"Sorry," he offers, quiet. "I just-" Mountain interrupts him with a kiss and Rain melts into it, opening up immediately at the flick of the earth ghoul's tongue over his lower lip. He loves how Mountain tastes - like springtime, warm honey and buttercups.
"Don't apologize," Mountain says against his lips. He moves Rain's hand from him back, brings it to rest at the front of his jeans. Rain moans into his mouth - Mountain feels as hard as he does.
"Fuck, but-" Rain groans as Mountain starts planting a slow trail of kisses from the corner of his mouth to the sharp edge of his jaw. "But the food-"
"It isn't going anywhere," Mountain breathes into his skin, and Rain shudders when a fang nips at his earlobe. "Besides," the earth ghoul pulls back and stares down at Rain with darkened eyes, "I was sort of hoping you'd want dessert first."
Mountain catches him in another deep kiss and Rain lets himself get lost in it. It's sloppy and languid, exploratory in the best way. They undress each other with shaky fingers, Rain letting out a reedy little cry when the earth ghoul's callused fingers slide over his nipples. Before he knows it he's being lowered to the rose-covered blanket, Mountain mouthing at his throat while he divests Rain of his pants. The water ghoul watches the flowers in his hair change, the peonies falling away in favor of bluebells and pale pink azaleas.
"Beautiful," he sighs, but Mountain doesn't seem to hear him. He's busy kicking his own jeans away, and the movement allows Rain to absorb the way his muscles shift in the low light. The way his dick sways, red-tipped and hypnotizing. Mountain retrieves a small bottle from beneath the edge of the blanket and comes to rest on his belly between Rain's legs.
Mountain takes him into his mouth at the same time he presses a lubed finger into Rain's already slick hole and the water ghoul chokes on his moan. His hands fly to Mountain's horns as the earth ghoul sucks him just the way he likes, slow and steady with flicks of the tongue here and there. Mountain always know exactly where to touch him, a point proven by the way he deftly slips in another finger and curls them.
"Lucifer, Mount," Rain huffs, voice tight. His thighs are already starting to shake, and the way Mountain looks up at him with a mouthful of cock doesn't help matters. "Please, please-"
The earth ghoul swallows around him, adds a third finger, and Rain goes boneless against the blanket. His hips rock back onto Mountain's fingers of their own accord, the other ghoul matching the bob of his head to the roll of his pelvis.
Rain gasps, digging a heel gently into Mountain's back and hands tightening on his horns. He's certain he's going to explode as the earth ghoul strokes his walls, rubs tight circles around his prostate. Mountain is swallowing rhythmically with every press, drinking down everything he's forcing Rain to leak. It's maddening, and Rain finds himself suddenly desperate, like he's drowning on dry land. He needs Mountain in him now.
"Ready," he pants, chest rising and falling rabbit-quick, "Mount, I'm ready, fuck, please I-" Rain makes the mistake of looking down at Mountain as he pulls off, and the soft light surrounding him is nothing short of perfection.
"I've got you," he assures, pressing a wet kiss to the hollow of Rain's hip. The water ghoul is out of his mind by the time Mountain has kissed his way back up to his mouth, fingers still working him open. Mountain's cock nudges a cheek and Rain makes a little yipping sound that has him moaning. "How do you want it, Rainy?"
It's the question Mountain always asks, and Rain most always has the same answer - on his knees, face pressed into whatever surface was available. Deep thrusts that Rain would swear he could feel in his teeth. Ones that would undo him from the inside out and leave him a drooling, sated mess. Rain pulls Mountain down until their foreheads touch, until they're breathing one another's air.
"Just like this," he huffs, watching Mountain's shining eyes widen, "you're so gorgeous Mount, I never want to stop looking at you." He feels delirious, his chest aching and his stomach twisting. Mountain stills and Rain tries not to whine when he withdraws his fingers.
"I can do that," he rumbles, but Rain doesn't miss the sheen of tears in his eyes.
The world falls away when Mountain pushes into his quivering body, Rain unable to keep his noises at bay. They bounce off the glass walls in a sinful chorus, one accompanied by Mountain's low growl and the fresh scent of rose petals. Mountain bottoms out and they gasp into each other's mouths when Rain wraps his legs around the larger ghoul's waist.
"Show me how much you care about me," Rain slurs.
Mountain does.
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lunearobservatory · 9 months
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greg is doing normal and sane with 50 cats, thanks for asking
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that-wildwolf · 8 days
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so the new porn bots have a few fandom posts reblogged until you scroll down to the porn links which is just. absolutely wild. they are evolving. I do not like it.
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biomic · 5 months
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skillz has been telling me to get a cat for awhile now but the timing didn't feel right and my dad isn't a cat person. don't have a choice now do i.
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brookheimer · 2 years
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what year is this
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WHAT THE FUCK
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wanderinghedgehog · 23 days
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Y’ALL I’M FUCKING LOSING IT
I just found on this fucking Google doc from more than two month ago this dream journal with only two entries and apparently (I have no memory of this) I had a dream about Jean Valjean. And it was actually somewhat similar to a scene from the brick! I’ve had a few dreams before that mimic movies and stuff that I’ve seen, but I didn’t write them down so they’ve faded a little. This thing is written down and I have no idea when I had this dream.
The only other entry on the doc was about a dream I had years ago, so I don’t know why I wrote it down if I remember it pretty well anyway. Weird.
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jorowoo · 2 days
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welcome to grindr
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