#this is from personal experience lol

[neoncolorblocks]

-Mamanardo has entered the chat-

Silly hc that Leo’s big brother/mom mode just never shuts off and he accidentally keeps adopting new family members in the process.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #art tag #Leo with any child he meets: so like is anyone else going to mother hen them or? #this is from personal experience lol

[customboytoy]

Ode to Topping with Bottom Dysphoria

#my boys #forcemasc #ftm #force masc #forced masculinization #ftm nsft #ftm poetry #autoandrophile #let me make perfectly clear this is about an experience i had with a CIS MAN #who said he was queer and quote unquote subversive bc he was poly with a wife. fuuucking bullshit #also comes from a non cis person who said they wanted me in missionary lol #but please do not skew my words to hate transfemmes im NOT tolerating that #this is about me as a trans man navigating hooking up w people who dont want to see me as a man #thank u #anyway subversive sex isnt just who u wanna fuck its how u fuck #its like the queer vers of women who are all into monster fuck #Then you read their fic and it’s literally just big strong man weak woman pnv sex #yaaaawnnn

[dumplingsjinson]

Character A separates from Character B to take a breather from the kiss, only to laugh in surprise when Character B starts pulling them on top of them.

"What are you doing?" they question, straddling Character B; feels Character B pressing against them. They blink, swallowing heavily; it doesn't take much for them to understand what that means, as they cautiously grind their hips down against Character B's, testing the waters.

Character B's hands sneak up their torso, hands cupping their clothed breasts, massaging them gently as Character A lets out soft little sighs and breathy moans, hips quickening with speed; ducking down to bury their face on Character B's neck every now and again out of embarrassment and to muffle the noises they were making.

"Wait, wait, wait," Character B breathes out, holding onto Character A's hips to stop them from moving. Character A sits up, looking down at them, heart skipping a beat at the way Character B stares up at them with hooded eyes. "We shouldn't be too loud, yeah? How about we go somewhere else?"

#based on personal experience lmfaoofeneklnwf #bc one anon asked me to spill the tea so UHHH #his family members were in their respective rooms and the walls aren't sound proof and considering how noisy i was last time... welfnwelkfn #we ended up going to some park which is like a 10-15 minute drive from his house to hug and makeout #i'm pretty sure he wanted to Do Other Things but in my head i was like “this is a public fucking place so absolutely not ewlkfnwelkfn" #like i'm pretty sure he had other intentions with the context i've given in the prompt lol #cat guy chronicles #writing prompts #prompts #dialogue prompts #smut prompts #suggestive prompts #otp prompts #writing scenarios

[ioniansunsets]

I JUST FOUND YOUR BLOG AND OMG

hey imma need that confession Heartsteel Kayn moment yannoooo… fr all I’ve been thinking about 😳😳😳

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn Confessing ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.2k

✖ Tags: Awkward Confessions

✖ A/N: Reader here is just someone who works at his studio! He met you as Heartsteel slowly begun to start out and get ready for debut. Also writing this with that one ask about him writing a song about this exact moment in mind. Heehee!

I was reading some fanfics on my side and got filled with so much adrenaline and emotions I spat this out. I got very very very carried away writing this. I hope its not too OOC. Thank you for asking for this, I couldn't stop thinking about writing it.

----

It sucked. It fucking sucked. The way his heart raced when you were near.

The loud thumping against his chest. He hated it.

He hated how vulnerably and un-badass it made him feel. How the high he got from you rivaled that of the stage.

How your voice played over and over in his mind more than any melody he knew. How your laughter made his knees weak. It made Him. Weak!

He hated. He loathed. He grunts in frustration as he rocks out hard on his guitar. Fingers picking at the strings, a sick solo riff but it was for no one but himself.

Oh, how he did arguably stupider things than usual when he saw you watching. Showing off to you he jumped off a stage once. Which is not too far off from usual but it was to no audience! It was during a practice run! He did it just to flex to you that he was cool! Fucking embarrassing to remember but he did! All because you were standing nearby! How could you do such a thing to him!

The absolute frustration he was filled with. Not pent up rage, not a craving for violence and destruction, but affection? Undeniable. Overflowing. Drowning and choking him. Affection!

He finally threw his guitar on the ground. Breathing heavy. Hands running through his hair to push away the hair that has fell to his face in his little jam session. Hands wiping away the sweat. No matter how long he played, how fast his fingers pressed the strings, how frantically he strummed away. How he still played, chipping his painted nails when he slips up and drops his pick. The loud music of his electric guitar couldn't drown out the high BPM beat of his heart going off in his ears. The mental image of you smiling and waving at him every time he shows up. The tingle in his fingertips imagining himself holding you.

Swallowing hard, he storms out of the studio. He was at his fucking limit and refused to deal with this flip flop of emotions any longer. A cold shower. He calms down. Tomorrow. At the studio when he goes in to record. He'll find you then. He'll go early before the rest of the band gets there. He'll get this done and over with. Enough hours were spent being a mess about you. He was going to get this done! Tossing and turning in bed for hours he finally falls asleep. Tomorrow, he'll confess.

xxxx

The next day came soon enough. Making sure he looked good, makeup on, hair styled nicely, a sexy ass outfit with his deliciously sculpted abs out. Not the usual for when he goes to the studio but if he was going to be confessing? Perfect. Yes he was perfect in his own eyes but still, his heart raced. Small whispers of Rhaast in his mind, telling him they might reject him, that he was someone that needed nobody, he shouldn't go up to them and say anything, the frustration was so good for his music! But still, he walked on. Boots hitting the floor at the same pace of his rapidly beating heart as he walks up to you. You heard him before you saw him, the thump of his boots echoing closer and closer.

" Hey!"

He cringes internally, the hell was that greeting. Hey? Just hey?! He smiles. Cocky as usual. Face never betraying his emotions, yeah he was cool like that. The shaking of his hands held back as he puts them in his pockets. Its alright, he looked cool. Just like that, hands in his pockets fiddling with his phone as he leans against the wall to talk to you.

" Can I talk to you a bit before I go and record stuff?"

Oh gods you smiled and nodded. His heart fluttered. His expression, involuntary, visibly lighting up. The way your smile just made him smile so bright back. He takes a deep breath.

" I uh...I love you."

He spat it out. It wasn't cool. It wasn't sexy. It was a choked out confession. Heart racing, palms now sweaty in his pockets, still shaking. Hells, shaking More now. His breath heavy as he tries to keep the anxiety at bay. A feeling of stage fright he never felt before. Suddenly hitting him. You look at him, face slowly getting more flushed as you process the sudden confession.

" I hate it but I've fallen head over heels for you. I'm a fucking wreck. You ruin me."

Kayn runs his hands through his hair, a habit to calm himself down. His eyes closed as he takes a deep breath before continuing.

" You genuinely make my time here at the studio fun, your presence is chaotic and calming at the same time. I want to be with you. I want us to be a thing. You already know me, you've seen the me on stage during practice, off stage when I record lines, you've seen Rhaast go all out and you still choose to be around me. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted."

He looks at you now, a calm stare. Lips pursed in a tight line. Swallowing hard. His nerves somehow finding solace in letting out all his feelings that were pent up over the month or two since you got to know each other. You laugh, gods your laugh. He's giddy. You tell him you love him too. He smiles.

A pause as he suddenly stands up straight. You tell him you love him too?

" Wait haha what? Really?"

He was amazing of course you'd say yes but still, there was that tiny part of him that was worried. You liked him back? You Love him? The amazing you! The you that shone like a sun in his frustrating days of endless work as a rockstar. You! He was fucking Elated. Arms immediately around you, a tight hug as he lets out a sigh. Breath he didn't even realize he was holding until now. His arms still shaking a little as he held you.

" Can I kiss you. Right now? I-"

Kayn doesn't even finish his sentence, the moment you nod his lips are on yours, passionate. Hands threading through your hair as he holds your head gently. Holding you against him. His free hand around your waist, supporting you as much as he was supporting himself from falling apart at your touch. How he loved you, the smell of your hair so close to him now, the taste of your lips on his, the feeling of your soft delectable lips on his. How warm you were in his hands, how faint your breath on his face. He was in love. He was in Love.

As he pulls apart. He takes another deep breath. The way you left him literally breathless. Fuck. This was an excitement he never felt before. Never has a kiss left him feeling so...good? Never has a hug left him literally shaking with excitement. You were special and now you were his.

" You're so fucking perfect you know that?"

He laughs shakily. A hand rising, trembling as he lightly touches his lips. Still in disbelief. He loves you. Undeniably. Overwhelmingly. The storm of emotions he held for the past, who knows how long, now a summer breeze filling his chest with a warmth he doesn't remember ever feeling. He loves you.

#Also from personal experience as I too jumped off a stage once to an empty audience for a flex. #I sprained my ankle after but it was cool. Kayn would do that I can see it happening. #Anon Answer #My heart was racing as i wrote this #i was shaking too #so i made kayn shake too #heehee #SO MANY EMOTIOSN #I LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #Kayn x Reader #Heartsteel!Kayn #Shieda Kayn #I really outdid myself writing this #this is my new favorite answer #Kayn LoL #Kayn League #KaynLeague #Kayn League of Legends #SCENARIOS #Shieda Kayn x Reader #im ruined i love this so much and i fucking wrote it lmao #League of Legends Scenarios #league of legends imagines #oh i love him i love him #to hold him close and tell him he is worthy of love that is hard and fast that leaves him breathless and wanting #to give kayn a love like no other that is you reader. thank you for loving him. #Yuno's Favourite Answer #oops proofred to make it gn

[uncanny-tranny]

A lot of cis people may not want to hear this, but here goes:

You are going to have more in common with trans people who have a similar gender identity to you than you think. Trans people are reliable narrators of their own experiences, and whether you like it or not, we will have similar or even identical experiences to yours. Cis people don't have a monopoly over their gender or the experiences people have as a result of their gender.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #ally advice #like in my experience i have had way more in common with cis men than cis women #and of course it is always more complicated than what a tumblr post can provide. but by and large i have noticed this trend #cis people like to pretend that trans people are a seperate species to them when that can't be further from the truth #cis people don't like to think that their bodies/experiences/lives could be in any way shape or form similar to a trans person's #but they're wrong in that case. there are so many of us with baried experiences. because we are PEOPLE #i feel like i am screaming my personhood into the void sometimes so i hope maybe this reaches somebody #as horrifying as it is (/s) i am as much a person as i am a man #and as horrifying as it is (/s) other trans people are as much their genders as they are PEOPLE #enjoy me posting my stream of consciousness then going back to play skyrim and fo:nv until i pass out or whatever i feel like lol<3

[zivazivc]

Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?

It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)

Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...

Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)

Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).

Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.

So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...

But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.

Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.

Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.

Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.

Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.

And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.

Anyway...

Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.

So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...

(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)

Yeah...

I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:

#btw the status of Floyd's and Les's relationship is forever set on 'complicated' #but they are as obsessed with each other as i am obsessed with them #the song is too soft and vulnerable to be something les would sing out loud but inside he does feel it #papa roach is nu metal btw. tho idk where this song stands exactly #trolls #dreamworks trolls #ex bandmates #trolls floyd #trolls oc #les #answered #my art #btw I am only self educated on the bipolar disorder from what i've read and watched on the internet so have that in mind #my intention is to be respectful but i might not understand all of it. especially not the personal experience of those who have it #i'm just some random nerd #so in a way you could say floyd was diagnosed by a nonprofessional lol #i stayed up until 3am last night writing this #today i made the sketch that is no longer a sketch #should i put this post under a cut? it is pretty long #long post

[josephtrohman]

of course it’s patrick singing this one

#writing it based on personal experience or …. #i’m just kidding #this is from a reel sorry it’s cropped like this lol

[eruptedinlight]

oh hey it’s been awhile. i still love him so much i want to crack him open like an aloe leaf and spread his goo all over me 💖

#baron afanas #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits art #baron posting #.mine #i’ve been experimenting with homemade botanical inks again now that spring’s back #and LOL I PAINTED THIS WITH INK MADE FROM GARLIC SKINS #shut up i’m the funniest person alive

[sleepsucks]

#14.04.22 #2958 #specifying just incase this is NOT an invitation to receive comments on my body or whatever from literally any random person online lol #or offline for that matter #this is more like i haven't rly been having any close friends to get excited about noticing gradual changes in my body with #people i'm comfortable enough with to be ok with making that kinda casual note of things ; #or people with similar experiences to relate to and with; #something beyond the simply very appreciated but limited approach of friends bein chill & respecting your privacy #ok i don't know how to explain this any better but mostly no this isn't a 'gee i wish random strangers went 'nice tits!!' thing #jean d'heure

[mc-tummy-blur]

Is it late again for me? I don't care. You are getting another Nimona post. The only difference is that I'm formatting it properly since I'm more awake than the last couple of times I talked about Nimona.

Went to just go rewatch the demon baby clip that's on YouTube, and I have only just noticed that Nimona really looks like he could be Ballister's son. Nimona has dark hair and dark clothing like he does, which even has a little hoodie, resembling Ballisters cloak. You can even see that Nimona has similar dark circles around his eyes, like Ballister.

Of course, in the natural light like the pic above, you can see that Nimonas skin is lighter and his eyes are still pink.

But when they are in the car, because the window is tinted, his eyes look more brown, and his skin just looks a bit darker, so it looks closer to Ballister's skin tone.

And, let's be real here, if this isn't the most father and child moment of the dad being angry with the kid, especially when they say the most ridiculous shit after something serious happened and there was a long moment of silence on the car ride back home, then idk what is.

The point is, is that Nimona hasn't had a proper family in her life, or even a family period. Nobody has cared and loved her, and Ballister is the first person she can relate to. Whether she's even aware of it or not, Nimona is starting to see him as a father figure and picks a form that could have him be mistaken as Ballister's son, or rather be accepted by Ballister as his kid.

Which, of course, happens by the end of the movie.

Something, something, something, I'm losing my fucking mind and if you haven't lost it either because of this movie it's because you are either lying or you haven't watched it.

#nimona #nimona movie #nimona spoilers #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #mctalks #also i feel like this could have something to do with her being genderfluid #like speaking from my personal experience as a genderfluid person i often get major gender envy from people that i greatly like/admire #i wanna look like them in some way so i think maybe that could be another possible way to read into this scene #that is if Nimona thinks like me lol #also im sorry you gotta see the netlix logo in the corner from their youtube vids idk how to take clips from the movie itself #so you get me screenshotting this stuff

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[vivulapom]

overstimulation whump!!

put a whumpee in a too-bright room with too-loud music and too much harsh conversation to make any words out. maybe flash the lights or dunk them in water or some sticky liquid, maybe even force them to wear tight uncomfortable clothes that become awful when wet, maybe the room smells awful

and then optionally force them to do complex or even just basic tasks!! force them to try and make whumper's words out with everything else going on, etc etc

#whump #whumpee #whumpblr #whump tropes #whump writing #def from personal experience lol #it's hell

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc. #ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj) #I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** *** #< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol) #(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me) #BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you? #:0c

[ioniansunsets]

i loved your heartsteel!kayn scenarios! can you possibly do a scenario of fem!reader helping heartsteel!kayn dye his hair :3

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn Getting His Hair Dyed by Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 900

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: He has his default skin braid here. Stay tuned for more. I MISS THIS FUCKER'S BRAID OK. Also you are his long term partner! I thought it would be cute if you have been supporting him though all his ups and downs uwu

----

" For reals, you've done this before right. Don't fuck it up I swear to god I will cry I'm dealing with enough shit right now babe." " You're the one that asked me to do this for you, have some trust in me."

You comb through his braid and neatly section if off one last time before slapping on the DIY at home bleach. After getting kicked out of his old band Kayn wanted a full makeover, so with five boxes of bleach and some whining he convinced you to help him bleach and dye his hair. You stood awkwardly behind him as you comb in the bleach. Kayn wasn't wearing a shirt, so that he wouldn't ruin any tees. So it was quite a sight, hair down, topless, you pause for a bit and stare. After some thinking you sigh, you were going to miss his blue and black hair...it was so soft too...

" Hey I heard that sigh! You know I HAVE to do this...I want to change my image, show them I'm better without them!"

Kayn pouts, you see it in the mirror and laugh. Slapping on more bleach, sectioning it out and complaining once again bout how the long hair sticks to the gloves and makes it all messy. But ok, you work hard, with a roll of aluminum foil ready you neatly bleach his long hair. As you wait for the first bleaching to set in you throw a little of the leftovers on your hair too, just enough for one strip.

" Should we match colors?"

You see Kayn visibly perk up as he hears your suggestion.

" Really? I think that will be cute. Like a cringey couple."

He smirks, leaning back to take a good look at you in the toilet mirror. He starts laughing loudly.

" Wait are you copying me or making fun of me! Why bleach that same chunk of hair as the old me!"

The two of you chat for a bit as you wait for the bleach to set in, when times up you help him wash it all off in the tub. Damn his hair was really such a dark black, it was just brown now. You comment about it needed a few more rounds of bleach. Kayn sighs this time instead, exhausted already but his rockstar image was at stake, he wanted to look cool so he had to do this. He had a goal already, an ombre fade of pink and purple, it would be so cool. Sitting back down, you blow dry his hair and start on round two.

And round three. Orange.

And four. Yellow.

And five before the yellow finally lifts enough! You were finally free from seeing that yellow, orange hue! And-

Oh no. You look at a handful of hair in your hands from where you combed through his hair.

" Kayn I am so sorry..." " No! I cannot deal with this right now please. Y/N Tell me its fine." " I'll fix it!"

You too were unsure how to react, were you going to cry or laugh. After five bleaches, his hair kinda...fried off. Ah...you were REALLY going to miss his long hair. Promising to fix it, you grab some hair scissors and did your best. With Kayn doing everything to hold himself together while you save what you can and work out a messy cut. It actually looked really good. You tell him to look up as you blow dry his hair yet again. Promising it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Kayn tentatively pulls his hands away from his face as he looks at himself in the mirror. A smile slowly creeping across his face.

" Oh shit you really did fix it? The hell Y/N! Let's dye it right now! I still want that pink purple thing going down!"

He tilts his head left and right, trying to get a better look at it, an idol worthy style. Kayn nods, happy with what you've done with it. Quickly you work the colors onto his hair and yours. Laughing together as he admires himself in the mirror. Half an hour passes and you wash his hair and dry it off for the last time. Kayn himself also helping to wash the and dry your hair. You smile as the two of you admire your reflections.

" Is it me or are we looking super hot?"

He snakes and arm around your waist, pulling you close. Giving your cheek a quick kiss.

" I actually like this a lot I'm glad it worked out. Thank you Y/N."

Kayn gives you a warm smile as he runs his hands through his hair, giving it a little shake as it falls gracefully along his jawline. He turns his attention back to the mirror before he shouts.

" Oh shit yeah! Let me snap a photo!"

Kayn leaves the room for a bit, grabbing his phone and a nice shirt to snap a photo in. He returns, hand draped around your shoulder as he takes a mirror selfie with you both. The largest smile plastered on his face as he sits down and edits it to use as his new wallpaper. You would mourn his pretty braid but...he was still your charming boyfriend you could live with the new style. The short hair was starting to grow on your after all.

#Also I like just bleached and dyed my hair to match og Kayn and was thinking of this scenario the whole time LMAO #Anon Answer #Shieda Kayn #Shieda Kayn x Reader #SCENARIOS #League of Legends Scenarios #Kayn LoL #Heartsteel!Kayn #KaynLeague #Kayn League #Kayn x Reader #this might be a bit weird i hope its still fun to read #had some ????????!!!!!! writing this #also this is also from personal experience where i bleached my hair 7 times and it just snapped at random places oops

[fabaceous]

exactly one (1) person asked for my thoughts on jackie’s pov of jackieshauna so me being me i obviously wrote an even longer essay than my shauna essay. so. here you go anon, SORRY or you’re welcome.

we can all agree that if you boil jackie down (um... sorry, too on the nose?) to her bare essentials, what you’re left with is basically a huge pit of insecurity. shauna is incapable of facing other people, but jackie is incapable of facing herself. jackie is incredibly inwardly/emotionally unstable but she doesn’t actually realize it because she does such a good job of distracting herself by curating her environment, her image, the people she’s surrounded by, their image, her hobbies, and on and on and on. she (without fully understanding that this is what she’s doing) tries to impose order on her outer world in the hopes that that will, by extension, bring order to her inner world.

so, here is my thesis statement: i propose that shauna is both jackie’s biggest source of stability AND her biggest source of instability.

shauna is the only one who’s always been there for her. it’s so telling that out of all the things jackie could’ve complimented shauna on in that scene (her intellect? her depth as a person? her looks?) she chose this. it shows us what jackie’s priorities are and why she values shauna: shauna is her rock, her best friend and trusty sidekick, she’s steady and loyal.

thing is, shauna isn’t. while shauna saintifies jackie after death and turns her into an  idea/symbol, jackie kinda does the same to shauna in life. she needs shauna to be her rock, and she needs it SO badly, like survival-level badly, that she just can’t leave space for shauna to be anything else. this sucks for shauna, because she doesn’t feel like jackie truly sees her in all her complexity. but it also sucks for jackie, because she just doesn’t realize when things are going downhill - and she doesn’t realize that her search for stability in shauna has been doomed to fail from the get-go, because shauna has a mind of her own.  

and this is when shauna becomes jackie’s biggest source of INstability: when she goes rogue. or, maybe more accurately, when she does what jackie interprets as “going rogue” - aka going against jackie’s carefully laid-out plans, whether or not she truly meant it as a snub. exhibit a: voting to go to the lake instead of stay at the crash site. for a healthy, secure person/relationship this would’ve been a simple difference of opinion. but for jackieshauna it drove a wedge between them for an entire day or possibly more, because by defying jackie, shauna destabilizes jackie’s very, VERY tenuous grip on the TINY amount of control she feels like she has over her world.

this control is EVERYTHING to jackie because it’s the only thing that can alleviate her internal turbulence. and she is DESPERATE for her fix, so she reaches, grasps, searches for the stability that she needs, that she only knows how to find in shauna, and it always seems to be just out of her reach, and of course we know it’s impossible to find internal stability through external things, but jackie thinks if she just stretches a little further and holds on a little tighter, she’ll get what she needs, so she clings onto shauna more and more desperately, not realizing that squeezing so tight could have unwanted side effects.

and just like with shauna - there IS genuine love here! but as much as shauna has warped ideas about what love looks like (and boy does she!), jackie has some messed up ideas about love too! jackie adores shauna, but part of that adoration is tied to how jackie builds shauna up in her own head, and when shauna fails to live up to the role that jackie needs her to play, it sends jackie into a tailspin and she lashes out. and i think jackie thinks that because she loves shauna, she can’t possibly be hurting her. it’s not a cage if i make it cozy, right? if i put some blankets down and keep her nice and safe? she’s not trapped, i’m taking good care of her, she’s choosing to stay, and if she wanted differently, she’d say so. (but shauna can’t/won’t say so, as we know.)

so. to sum it up. on a good day, shauna keeps jackie afloat, but on a bad day, shauna sends jackie spiraling. jackie needs her so desperately and the tragedy is that she loves shauna so much and she’s so terrified of losing her that she does everything she can to prevent it, but her desperation blinds her to the fact that, by holding onto shauna so tightly, she’s contributing to the very situation she hoped to avoid: shauna leaving her.

#yeah i dont know. let me know if i lost the plot here #i might just be projecting my own jackieshauna adjacent experiences onto jackie lol #honestly i thought about this for way too long and kind of want to just get it out of my drafts and into the world #questions comments concerns? #not trying to victim blame jackie btw. but from personal experience sometimes the sad truth is that it just goes like that #you hold on too tight and end up driving them away #yellowjackets

[eebie]

#i personally feel like it's somewhere in between #like sexuality and gender i think it's where you decide to choose what label your experiences/feelings fall under #it's decided between the two people in the relationship #like intimacy can exist in every kind of relationship and it's upsetting to hear people say it can only happen in romantic ones #if i were in a relationship with someone i trusted Who had an intimate relationship with someone else #if i really trusted that person i'd have no problem with it Unless it very clearly started to affect our relationship #i don't think i'd call myself a very jealous person #maybe a little envious but not jealous lol #i think restricting intimacy to one person isn't very. healthy? i don't know #like there should be other people too. support networks #we're a social animal yknow ? #it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need #that's an unhealthy expectation that can put a strain on many relationships i think #there's a reason spider webs are made from joined threads of silk #they don't dangle from a single piece They'd get blown away in the wind #reason why i bring this up now is bc i just discussed this with my parents who hold very traditional views #idk how i ended up being so different from them LMAO #thanks steven universe i guess!!!