#this is the post that caused me pain by tumblr not saving a good chunk of it so there could be a disconnect somewhere

[banterismylovelanguage]

Venti’s Attachment Issues

(This is gonna be a long one; get yourself comfortable.)

Since Stanley is used as a direct parallel to Venti in his story quest, every time we chat with Stanley, we can maybe get an insight to Venti’s feelings.

Stanley, constantly, misses the real Stanley. He’s always drinking, and he might be doing better since Venti put the real Stanley to rest, but the grief stays.

He wishes the real Stanley was still here.

Pretending to be someone else is exhausting and damaging to your ‘true self’—there’s no doubt in my mind about that.

Stanley’s wish likely reflects Venti’s wish, considering how deeply affected Venti is still by the loss of his friend at the end of his story quest (he can’t even speak it out loud; he just stays at the top of the statue lost in memories and grief.)

Now let’s take into consideration that Venti is a god and an Archon currently, and only a (likely) naive wisp when he met the Nameless Bard.

He lives much longer than a human.

His responsibility will always be their safety.

(Arguably) He is forced into slumber for… healing? (Or is this a sign of depression?)

He doesn’t believe in ruling over his people, so he is one of the weakest Archons (his reasoning).

He will never be on the same level as one of his people, no matter how “ingrained” in society he is. (In other words, if he revealed his true nature, there’s always going to be a sense of “This is Mondstadt’s god” with every mortal he reveals it to.)

Venti, or Barbatos, was the Archon to bring The Seven together to meet.

Zhongli doesn’t visit Mondstadt (that I know of).

Barbatos is the only known Archon to regularly travel.

Five of the Seven original Archons are dead.

The ‘new’ Archons know of each other, but it’s mostly from a ruling basis (they likely do not have those regular meetings anymore)

From this, we can conclude that Barbatos cannot have a personal relationship like he once did with another mortal, and when he tried to find something like that with The Seven, they, too, suffered a sort of “mortal fate,” the supposed immortals all died one by one.

And Zhongli and Venti might hold a deep understanding towards each other, have some sort of close relationship, but we definitely don’t see a personal one—at least in person—anymore. I don’t think the current Seven even meet up.

Now let’s consider the Traveler’s presence.

The Traveler is suspected to be hundreds, if not thousands, of years old.

The Traveler is not from this world.

The Traveler has abilities that even Venti is amazed by (ability to remove corruption by just the presence of one of them?? This should really be expanded on considering they’ve killed gods for this.)

Venti isn’t unfriendly, but he compliments the Traveler endlessly (really, every character does this to some extent, but it still has to be in character to some level); says we’re the “gentlest soul” in the most recent event.

Venti says his greatest wish is to travel (aka “see the world on my behalf” 👀) and now he adjusts the wish to include the Traveler.

The Traveler might be the only one to truly know about Venti’s doppelgänger situation.

Thus, Venti tells us personal secrets. He acts like an open book (Kusanali’s* (?) intervention proves that he would have told us more about the Archipelgo situation had we asked) even though we get a different feeling in the manga with him (he’s more secretive; see Celestia panel). He “brushes off” the truth in that sense, but I can’t remember if he’s ever directly lied to us.

Our happiness is important to him (again, these lines are hard to distinguish from the people from the game using Venti to communicate this, or this is meant to be part of Venti’s personality—I mean, look at what they did with Xiao’s b-day letters… or anyone’s.)

Where am I going with this?

Venti isn’t as close to anyone as he is with the Traveler in modern day Mondstadt because he knows he can’t be as close to anyone else.

The people of Mondstadt that he loves so much seem to be the ones he keeps a distance from.

He’s watched Razor grow up (a curious statement), he’s friendly to Razor, but he’s not close like Bennett is (tbf, no one is—except Lisa???—but it seems like they act more like friendly acquaintances than friends.)

Barbara sees him as a talented bard (kinda like a coworker/colleague in the music industry.)

Rosaria thinks Venti is mysterious but likely harmless, so she doesn’t bother with him, and the god she cares nothing about (which could speak to a non-idolized look at him if he revealed it to her, but I think their relationship is best explored with others, meaning I don’t see them able to connect as well on an individual level—also, Rosaria could not care about the god because she doesn’t believe in him, so her reaction is still uncertain if she actually met him)

Jean knows who he is, but she can’t seem to figure out whether to be formal or familiar with her Archon.

We don’t know what Lisa thinks of Venti, but Venti speaks respectfully of her, so even if Lisa teased him like she does every other character, it makes him no different but also no closer to her. He’s more likely the eager “student” that she suspects there’s more to the eye of (if not the god himself), but she won’t push him to reveal it to her and maintain a respectful but distant relationship with.

Interestingly, Kaeya might be able to match wits with Venti in the way they both withhold the truth without directly lying. Yet, I don’t think either of them are 100% sure on how they feel about each other, so while it might be thrilling to talk to each other, it isn’t friendly.

Diluc is probably the closest to Venti out of the Mondstadt people (not considering Alice atm) just by favor of working the tavern on nights Venti drinks. Which is a lot and often. He treats Venti the bard informally, and this allows each other to be comfortable in teasing.

As a bartender, Diluc should be seeing Venti at his worst.

When you’re drinking alone at the bar, it isn’t necessarily a good sign (nor always bad). When you’re drinking as often and as much as Venti, it really isn’t a good sign.

But I don’t think that quite fits Venti because of the reason he drinks.

Venti likely sees himself at his “best” when he’s drinking; he’s jolly, he’s social, and he’s ready to have a good time.

When he’s sober, he’s still social, jolly, etc, but he’s quieter. Calm. He listens a LOT. (Am I the only one that watches cutscenes with Venti and thinks, “Huh, I thought Venti would say something about that” or “by now,” and he just doesn’t?? Idk maybe an iffy observation)

He thinks too much.

Venti’s quick wit, his ability to change the subject to something familiar, comfortable, and his reputation as the best bard in Mondstadt are what he relies on, and he can do all that drunk while not having to deal with his memories and all that comes with that.

So where do the attachment issues come in?

I think Venti’s lonely. And I think the proof is in Venti’s lines to the Traveler.

He can’t be close to his Mondstadt people in a real way. They all will die long before him. They will always hold a mortal concept of what Venti is to them. They will always remind Venti of what he’s already lost and will lose again one day.

But the Traveler “isn’t meant for this world.”

The Traveler is someone new, someone that can cure corruption, and someone that also wants (needs) to travel the world.

Venti’s flowery language towards us just shows how he’s grown attached to the lone traveler that continues to visit his land. That also understands loss and constantly surprises him. That helps the people he loves so very much.

So, while a lot of Venti’s lines could be attributed to fan service and are reflected in other characters, too, I think you can explain different reasons as to why the characters speak the way they do towards the Traveler. And I think this is Venti’s reason.

Aka I took fan service seriously and used it to explain Venti’s emotional issues

#venti #genshin analysis #this isn’t a push for the traveler x venti ship but you read it however you want to #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin barbatos #genshin stanley #kaeya #diluc #jean #zhongli #razor #genshin barbara #genshin razor #the travelers #aether #lumine #I didn’t mention dvalin in this but I think this still stands #feel free to expand or point out anything I missed #this is the post that caused me pain by tumblr not saving a good chunk of it so there could be a disconnect somewhere #my thoughts

[mostlysignssomeportents]

20 years a blogger

It's been twenty years, to the day, since I published my first blog-post.

I'm a blogger.

Blogging - publicly breaking down the things that seem significant, then synthesizing them in longer pieces - is the defining activity of my days.

https://boingboing.net/2001/01/13/hey-mark-made-me-a.html

Over the years, I've been lauded, threatened, sued (more than once). I've met many people who read my work and have made connections with many more whose work  I wrote about. Combing through my old posts every morning is a journey through my intellectual development.

It's been almost exactly a year I left Boing Boing, after 19 years. It wasn't planned, and it wasn't fun, but it was definitely time. I still own a chunk of the business and wish them well. But after 19 years, it was time for a change.

A few weeks after I quit Boing Boing, I started a solo project. It's called Pluralistic: it's a blog that is published simultaneously on Twitter, Mastodon, Tumblr, a newsletter and the web. It's got no tracking or ads. Here's the very first edition:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/

I don't often do "process posts" but this merits it. Here's how I built Pluralistic and here's how it works today, after nearly a year.

I get up at 5AM and make coffee. Then I sit down on the sofa and open a huge tab-group, and scroll through my RSS feeds using Newsblur.

I spend the next 1-2 hours winnowing through all the stuff that seems important. I have a chronic pain problem and I really shouldn't sit on the sofa for more than 10 minutes, so I use a timer and get up every 10 minutes and do one minute of physio.

After a couple hours, I'm left with 3-4 tabs that I want to write articles about that day. When I started writing Pluralistic, I had a text file on my desktop with some blank HTML I'd tinkered with to generate a layout; now I have an XML file (more on that later).

First I go through these tabs and think up metadata tags I want to use for each; I type these into the template using my text-editor (gedit), like this:

   <xtags>

process, blogging, pluralistic, recursion, navel-gazing

   </xtags>

Each post has its own little template. It needs an anchor tag (for this post, that's "hfbd"), a title ("20 years a blogger") and a slug ("Reflections on a lifetime of reflecting"). I fill these in for each post.

Then I come up with a graphic for each post: I've got a giant folder of public domain clip-art, and I'm good at using all the search tools for open-licensed art: the Library of Congress, Wikimedia, Creative Commons, Flickr Commons, and, ofc, Google Image Search.

I am neither an artist nor a shooper, but I've been editing clip art since I created pixel-art versions of the Frankie Goes to Hollywood glyphs using Bannermaker for the Apple //c in 1985 and printed them out on enough fan-fold paper to form a border around my bedroom.

As I create the graphics, I pre-compose Creative Commons attribution strings to go in the post; there's two versions, one for the blog/newsletter and one for Mastodon/Twitter/Tumblr. I compose these manually.

Here's a recent one:

Blog/Newsletter:

(<i>Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:QAnon_in_red_shirt_(48555421111).jpg">Marc Nozell</a>, <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en">CC BY</a>, modified</i>)

Twitter/Masto/Tumblr:

Image: Marc Nozell (modified)

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:QAnon_in_red_shirt_(48555421111).jpg

CC BY

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

This is purely manual work, but I've been composing these CC attribution strings since CC launched in 2003, and they're just muscle-memory now. Reflex.

These attribution strings, as well as anything else I'll need to go from Twitter to the web (for example, the names of people whose Twitter handles I use in posts, or images I drop in, go into the text file). Here's how the post looks at this point in the composition.

<hr>

<a name="hfbd"></a>

<img src="https://craphound.com/images/20yrs.jpg">

<h1>20 years a blogger</h1><xtagline>Reflections on a lifetime of reflecting.</xtagline>

<img src="https://craphound.com/images/frnklogo.jpg">

See that <img> tag in there for frnklogo.jpg? I snuck that in while I was composing this in Twitter. When I locate an image on the web I want to use in a post, I save it to a dir on my desktop that syncs every 60 seconds to the /images/ dir on my webserver.

As I save it, I copy the filename to my clipboard, flip over to gedit, and type in the <img> tag, pasting the filename. I've typed <img src="https://craphound.com/images/ CTRL-V"> tens of thousands of times - muscle memory.

Once the thread is complete, I copy each tweet back into gedit, tabbing back and forth, replacing Twitter handles and hashtags with non-Twitter versions, changing the ALL CAPS EMPHASIS to the extra-character-consuming *asterisk-bracketed emphasis*.

My composition is greatly aided both 20 years' worth of mnemonic slurry of semi-remembered posts and the ability to search memex.craphound.com (the site where I've mirrored all my Boing Boing posts) easily.

A huge, searchable database of decades of thoughts really simplifies the process of synthesis.

Next I port the posts to other media. I copy the headline and paste it into a new Tumblr compose tab, then import the image and tag the post "pluralistic."

Then I paste the text of the post into Tumblr and manually select, cut, and re-paste every URL in the post (because Tumblr's automatic URL-to-clickable-link tool's been broken for 10+ months).

Next I past the whole post into a Mastodon compose field. Working by trial and error, I cut it down to <500 characters, breaking at a para-break and putting the rest on my clipboard. I post, reply, and add the next item in the thread until it's all done.

*Then* I hit publish on my Twitter thread. Composing in Twitter is the most unforgiving medium I've ever worked in. You have to keep each stanza below 280 chars. You can't save a thread as a draft, so as you edit it, you have to pray your browser doesn't crash.

And once you hit publish, you can't edit it. Forever. So you want to publish Twitter threads LAST, because the process of mirroring them to Tumblr and Mastodon reveals typos and mistakes (but there's no way to save the thread while you work!).

Now I create a draft Wordpress post on pluralistic.net, and create a custom slug for the page (today's is "two-decades"). Saving the draft generates the URL for the page, which I add to the XML file.

Once all the day's posts are done, I make sure to credit all my sources in another part of that master XML file, and then I flip to the command line and run a bunch of python scripts that do MAGIC: formatting the master file as a newsletter, a blog post, and a master thread.

Those python scripts saved my ASS. For the first two months of Pluralistic, i did all the reformatting by hand. It was a lot of search-replace (I used a checklist) and I ALWAYS screwed it up and had to debug, sometimes taking hours.

Then, out of the blue, a reader - Loren Kohnfelder - wrote to me to point out bugs in the site's RSS. He offered to help with text automation and we embarked on a month of intensive back-and-forth as he wrote a custom suite for me.

Those programs take my XML file and spit out all the files I need to publish my site, newsletter and master thread (which I pin to my profile). They've saved me more time than I can say. I probably couldn't kept this up without Loren's generous help (thank you, Loren!).

I open up the output from the scripts in gedit. I paste the blog post into the Wordpress draft and copy-paste the metadata tags into WP's "tags" field. I preview the post, tweak as necessary, and publish.

(And now I write this, I realize I forgot to mention that while I'm doing the graphics, I also create a square header image that makes a grid-collage out of the day's post images, using the Gimp's "alignment" tool)

(because I'm composing this in Twitter, it would be a LOT of work to insert that information further up in the post, where it would make sense to have it - see what I mean about an unforgiving medium?)

(While I'm on the subject: putting the "add tweet to thread" and "publish the whole thread" buttons next to each other is a cruel joke that has caused me to repeatedly publish before I was done, and deleting a thread after you publish it is a nightmare)

Now I paste the newsletter file into a new mail message, address it to my Mailman server, and create a custom subject for the day, send it, open the Mailman admin interface in a browser, and approve the message.

Now it's time to create that anthology post you can see pinned to my Mastodon and Twitter accounts. Loren's script uses a template to produce all the tweets for the day, but it's not easy to get that pre-written thread into Twitter and Mastodon.

Part of the problem is that each day's Twitter master thread has a tweet with a link to the day's Mastodon master thread ("Are you trying to wean yourself off Big Tech? Follow these threads on the #fediverse at @[email protected]. Here's today's edition: LINK").

So the first order of business is to create the Mastodon thread, pin it, copy the link to it, and paste it into the template for the Twitter thread, then create and pin the Twitter thread.

Now it's time to get ready for tomorrow. I open up the master XML template file and overwrite my daily working file with its contents. I edit the file's header with tomorrow's date, trim away any "Upcoming appearances" that have gone by, etc.

Then I compose tomorrow's retrospective links. I open tabs for this day a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and (now) 20 years ago:

http://memex.craphound.com/2020/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2016/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2011/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2006/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2001/01/14

I go through each day, and open anything I want to republish in its own tab, then open the OP link in the next tab (finding it in the @internetarchive if necessary). Then I copy my original headline and the link to the article into tomorrow's XML file, like so:

#10yrsago Disney World’s awful Tiki Room catches fire <a href="https://thedisneyblog.com/2011/01/12/fire-reported-at-magic-kingdom-tiki-room/">https://thedisneyblog.com/2011/01/12/fire-reported-at-magic-kingdom-tiki-room/</a>

And NOW my day is done.

So, why do I do all this?

First and foremost, I do it for ME. The memex I've created by thinking about and then describing every interesting thing I've encountered is hugely important for how I understand the world. It's the raw material of every novel, article, story and speech I write.

And I do it for the causes I believe in. There's stuff in this world I want to change for the better. Explaining what I think is wrong, and how it can be improved, is the best way I know for nudging it in a direction I want to see it move.

The more people I reach, the more it moves.

When I left Boing Boing, I lost access to a freestanding way of communicating. Though I had popular Twitter and Tumblr accounts, they are at the mercy of giant companies with itchy banhammers and arbitrary moderation policies.

I'd long been a fan of the POSSE - Post Own Site, Share Everywhere - ethic, the idea that your work lives on platforms you control, but that it travels to meet your readers wherever they are.

Pluralistic posts start out as Twitter threads because that's the most constrained medium I work in, but their permalinks (each with multiple hidden messages in their slugs) are anchored to a server I control.

When my threads get popular, I make a point of appending the pluralistic.net permalink to them.

When I started blogging, 20 years ago, blogger.com had few amenities. None of the familiar utilities of today's media came with the package.

Back then, I'd manually create my headlines with <h2> tags. I'd manually create discussion links for each post on Quicktopic. I'd manually paste each post into a Yahoo Groups email. All the guff I do today to publish Pluralistic is, in some way, nothing new.

20 years in, blogging is still a curious mix of both technical, literary and graphic bodgery, with each day's work demanding the kind of technical minutuae we were told would disappear with WYSIWYG desktop publishing.

I grew up in the back-rooms of print shops where my dad and his friends published radical newspapers, laying out editions with a razor-blade and rubber cement on a light table. Today, I spend hours slicing up ASCII with a cursor.

I go through my old posts every day. I know that much - most? - of them are not for the ages. But some of them are good. Some, I think, are great. They define who I am. They're my outboard brain.

#pluralistic

[ksmutclub]

Let’s take a step...

Good Evening Everyone. Admin Tomi here.

I think we’ve reached the need for a full stop. 

There’s going to be a lot here - please hang with me. I ask that you read this thoroughly, because I would like to have this be the cease fire for the current situation. 

Firstly,

We are deeply sorry for any hurt, pain, trigger, or traumatic essence that has arisen in the midst of viewing the Monster Smash prompt list. 

These prompts are based on popular horror movies and books. Things that we easily associate with Horror via authors like James Patterson and Stephen King [which a good chunk of these prompts come from]. So to us, and a majority of the voters/members, who wanted it to return? There was no issue. 

The club rules *specifically* state that we do not allow the following

WHAT WE DON’T REBLOG

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophobic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape.

That has been the long standing no-no’s of this club since its inception.  We didn’t understand why the anons, and few members that came forward, would think that we would: 

A - allow any story that breaks the rules to pass through. B - that any of the writers/creators/esteemed members of this club would dip down to those levels to create material that does exactly what we ask not to be done.

We’re all adults, and trust that everyone knows right from wrong, and understands the ramifications of such issues.

We in no way intended to cause trauma, downplay anyone’s trauma, or ‘insult’ anyone with mental health issues. 

But.

We cannot stop creators from writing things that may include dark topics. 

We believe in the portent of trigger warnings required on each story. Because what could be a trigger for you? Could be a cathartic release for someone writing from a similar experience, or someone with an interest in said experiences.

We trust and believe in you all to believe in self-care. Meaning that if someone happens to post a yandere story with a trigger warning for blood? That you would move to the next story. We believe that every reader and creator are the masters of their Tumblr experience and will act in accordance with the safety of their well-being and mental health in consideration.

With that all being said? The h***ler prompt was missed/misstep. Again, we profusely apologize for that one making the list. There is no excuse, I will attempt to offer none. The K Smut Club Admins will do better to be more mindful/careful/watchful of such things in the future.

Now, a point was made during the back and forth of the evening. That one message cleared most of the confusion. A trigger warning on the prompt list. Which in hindsight, may or may not have made a difference. But, it would at least show that we DID hear you about the certain prompts [esp. the h**ler one, cause that should've never gone up. So we thank that member for catching it]. 

So going forward, since this has been a lesson, we will make sure to trigger warning as best we can for the next Monster Smash event. As a reminder, the prompts are purely voluntary to serve as an example of what you could possibly write. None of these were mandatory, or necessary to participate in the event.

Again, with any event the idea of your story and where it goes is always up to you, the creator.

To the matter of the prompt examples list? 

We can all agree to disagree. Everyone perceives things differently. Again, we trust you all to be mindful of the rules and not write anything that would be considered illegal. For example:

A brother and sister find an old door in their basement that wasn’t there before.

Hansel and Gretel; or Brother and Sister monster hunters, sister gets kidnapped by demon that’s been lusting over Brother. Or in secret relationship with brother - sister is kidnapped with ultimatum to come on over to the bad side or they’ll make the sister disappear. So, no incest. 

The abused animals of a zoo are unleashed and wreak havoc on a small town.

Based on James Patterson’s Book ‘Zoo’[and there was a miniseries]. Animals of the world suddenly developed a genetic abnormality that caused them to rise up and try to take the planet back. Believe it or not? There was romance/sex involved in the people trying to save the animals, the world, and themselves. One of the scientists fell for a reporter as they worked together for a cure. The story written could have the two people getting together and that amount of care they have for solving the menace - solves it. So, no abused animals.

Deceased soldiers return to their Civil War-era homes.

Based on multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. People that may have died with strong regrets and the people who miss them terribly are given an opportunity to come back for one day. Fully alive, flesh and blood, breathing living - to spend one day with each other to help them move on. Also the movie Warm Bodies where a zombie regains his humanity, and undoes the curse of the undead by falling in love, of all things. The ‘zombie’ fully regains his humanity, living breathing, and bleeding - there’s even a kiss. So, no  necrophilia.

A monster is terrified by the scary child who lives above his bed.

Based on Monsters Inc. and I’ve seen some Monster Inc Kpop fic smut out there, so it’s absolutely possible to have a single parent cleaning a kids room and shenanigans ensue, or not, and just be a super crack horror fic.

A family dog runs away from home. He returns a year later to the delight of his family. But there’s something different about him. Something demonic.

Based on Pet Sematary, Stephen King classic. Synopsis could be that parents lost a family pet, trying for a child, pet returns, horror ensues. 

A child sleep-walks into their parent’s room and whispers, “I’m sorry. The devil told me to.”

Based on Case 39. A movie where the kid was a literally a demon posing as a child, and manipulated everyone around her and caused a bunch of deaths/mishaps. 

I’ve made these few scant examples to prove there was no ill, illegal, or sick intent with the prompts posted. Each of them can be connected to a movie, book, or television series that many are familiar with. 

Even though the rules state smut is required, where the smut happens within prompt depends on the story. But, wherever it should so appear would be required, of course, to act within the bounds of the clubs rules. 

Because we trust you, the creators, to abide by them.

In closing,

Everybody has had different experiences in their lives. We are not going to pit pain against pain. No one’s pain is greater. Pain is pain and we all have suffered it, or will at some point. We must do what we need to in order to protect ourselves from things that hurt or trigger us. 

I believe every network feels this sentiment and uses the trigger warning requirement in order to protect their readers from consuming content which would hurt them, while allowing the creator the opportunity to explore and create in the medium they see fit. 

We are all humans trying to navigate a difficult time. We all have our ways to deal with these traumatic and painful happenings in our lives. We either talk about it with our peers who have the same experience, write to forge a path forward to some sort of healing in our own way- or we simply remove that reminder from our sphere of existence. 

We will do the best in our capacity, in this network to create a space for both the reader and the creator to do what is best for them, while following all legal statutes set forth by Tumblr and the laws of the US where it is based.

If there are any club members that have issues with any of the prompts - we ask that you please DM the admin staff off anon, so that we can get an accurate count of the individuals that take offense.

There will be no bashing, no repercussions, or public shaming. 

We want to make sure that the people in our network have a say in what happens within the club events. Just because we can see the story in the prompts, doesn’t mean everyone can. We would be happy to discuss the prompt or prompts in question, with examples or sources to assuage any fears that you have. 

For those who were hurt, disturbed, disappointed, or felt the negativity wrought by this? 

We again, humbly apologize that you have. We hope that we can move forward with the event and the growth of the club with your blessings and participation.

Sincerely, The Admin Team 

P.S. - Death threats, threats of any kind are not ok. We’re all adults here. If you disagree then your blog is the space to do it. Stay out of folks DMs with that bullshit because you disagree - that goes for anybody that has spoken out disagreeing with the club and anyone outside toward the members within the club. We have differing opinions they should be respected. No one should be victimized any further than already experienced. 

#announcements #monster smash 2020 #ksmutclub

[bubbyleh]

I See La Vie en Rose - Chapter 9

hey there! quick update. chapter 10 IS posted on ao3, but it won’t be getting a tumblr mirror because it’s not really plot stuff, just stupid things i wanted to share. so follow the link on my blog if you want to check that out, or just tune back in for chapter 11 instead

Chapter 9: The Reckoning

Tommy gawks at the destruction wrought upon the pavilion, and without thinking he brings his hands to cover his mouth. Never in all his life has he seen his home so damaged. Some pillars are missing entire chunks! A few of the scorch marks are still smoking!

Where is everyone?

Drawing in a deep breath, Tommy places two fingers in his mouth and whistles as loud as he can.

Sure enough, it takes a bit, but Sunkist comes running from the direction of his house. The first trick Tommy ever taught her, and it still works like a charm! He’s never been so relieved to see her before, at least until she tackles him to the ground with licks.

“Ow,” Tommy whimpers out, feeling the pain in his bruised shoulders.

Sunkist seems to recognize his discomfort, but she keeps sniffing his face. Yeah, she can definitely tell his nose is fucked.

“Oh, Sunkist,” Tommy sits up and hugs her. “You would- you won’t believe what happened down there today.”

“Tommy?”

He breaks away from Sunkist, and holy shit, Bubby doesn’t look good. He’s very clearly just stumbled in, leaning on one of the intact pillars for support. Tommy almost cries out for him, but Bubby cuts him off.

“I thought I heard you call for Sunkist,” he continues. “What the hell are you doing back here?”

In an instant, Tommy goes from concerned for his family’s well-being to seeing red.

“What- what am I doing!?” Tommy places a hand on his chest, offended beyond belief. He struggles to push himself up with his other arm, the thrumming pain causing him to wobble slightly, but he does stand. “What have you guys been doing?! I’ve been- I’ve been trying to get in contact with you all afternoon!”

Bubby narrows his eyes at Tommy, and for a split second he glances behind himself, back towards Benrey and Gordon’s home.

“Where’s the kid?” he asks, as if noticing for the first time Joshua isn’t present.

“He, uh. Darnold’s watching him.” Tommy frowns. Well, now that he knows things are somewhat okay up here, he turns back to his dog. “Actually, Sunkist? Could you- could you head down and keep an eye on them f-for me?” He’d appreciate something divine watching over them for a bit.

Sunkist barks in response, trotting into the Viewing Pool. She disappears with a flash, and Tommy feels like he has one less thing to worry about.

Before Tommy can ask a single question, Bubby has already turned around, gesturing for him to follow. Catching up, Tommy notices that Bubby’s legs are stiff as he walks, as if he has to mentally will them to bend.

“What- Bubby, what happened?” Tommy asks.

Bubby sighs. “Come on. I’m sure everyone is gonna want to see you.”

Wow, this is a whole new level of brushing off! Bubby’s not addressing the fact that wherever he looks, Tommy sees signs of a fight in the place he’s known as home his whole life. He really didn’t think it could get this bad.

But then again, what was Tommy supposed to think? They never told him anything.

They make it to Gordon and Benrey’s house, the door to which Bubby pushes open without knocking. Tommy almost calls him rude for it, but then he catches sight of the scene inside.

Coomer is immediately on Bubby, lecturing him for sneaking out while he’s so fragile. Tommy spies his dad in the corner, his gaze focused intently on the couch. And on that couch sits Benrey, Gordon passed out and laying in his lap. All of them look roughed up.

“Stop, Harold.” Bubby pushes his fretting husband’s hands away. “I’m fine, see?” He pauses, for the briefest of moments. “Look who I found.”

And just like that, everyone’s attention is turned to Tommy in the doorway. But Tommy’s stuck on the one person who can’t look at him, his thoughts going a mile a minute. ‘Gordon isn’t moving why isn’t he moving is he okay what happened-’

A pair of hands squish his face, and Tommy realizes it’s his dad. He’s looking down at him with such a sad look, and Tommy’s not sure if it’s intentional, but he stands right in front of him, blocking his view.

“Oh, oh dear, Tommy,” Gman says. “What happ..ened to your, nose?”

Tommy’s stunned expression turns to a glare. “Wh- my nose!? You want- you want to talk about my nose?!”

Gman obviously wasn’t expecting a hostile reaction to that, releasing his son’s face and backing away. It does little to calm Tommy.

“Do you- you have any idea how worried I’ve been!?” Tommy shouts. “You weren’t answering anything! And I come back, and- and everything is fucked up, and you’re just- just pretending nothing happened!?”

Bubby and Coomer no longer meet his eyes, but Gman just stares. Tommy continues, “Did- did any of you even check your phones!? I fucking fought a Skeleton today, and it-” All of Tommy’s fury vasnishes in an instant. Just remembering the empty feeling he got looking into that thing’s eye sockets is enough to twist his stomach. “It- s-so much about that was- it tried something-”

Tommy’s legs give out. He can feel his father by his side, holding onto him, and he thinks Coomer is there too. But his head is racing and he’s gripping at it as though he could slow it down somehow. “It- it was so cold, and everything was- was moving except me, and I couldn’t think, and if it wasn’t for-”

“It tried to possess you, bro,” Benrey finally speaks up. “Same as what it did to Gordon.” He runs a hand through Gordon’s hair.

Tommy blinks. “W-what?”

“I mean, I guess the… the cat’s out of the bag, or whatever.” Benrey sighs. “Skeletons possess people. Us mostly.”

“You’re- you’re joking?”

Bubby, who’s taken to leaning on one of the walls, shakes his head. “He isn’t.”

“Perhaps this conversation is best saved for when our friend over there wakes up, hm?” Coomer points at Gordon.

It takes Tommy a moment to process it all. ‘When Gordon wakes up.’ His dad pulls him to his chest, and making sure that he avoids his nose, Tommy presses into him with his forehead. He’s searching for a word, something he’s feeling, and then he realizes it’s trusted.

He feels trusted.

☆○☆○☆

“Your nose looks fucked,” Benrey comments from across the kitchen table. Coomer had convinced him to abandon his vigil over Gordon in favor of getting something to eat, but so far all he had done was make a few tonedeaf remarks Tommy’s way.

“Uh-huh,” Tommy responds, more preoccupied with his phone.

Darnold ♡: Wait they don’t know that I know?

Tommy: I’m not sure how to tell them???

Darnold ♡: I mean, it sounds like you’ve done enough “telling” for today Darnold ♡: So maybe don’t?

Tommy: Yeah? Then what? Tommy: They’re gonna be teasing you next time you meet!! :(

Darnold ♡: Well that just makes THEM look stupid, right?

Whatever stupid thing Benrey is about to say next is interrupted by a groan from the next room over. They both meet eyes, before scrambling out of the kitchen.

Tommy: Oh hang on Gordon’s awake!!!!!! :D

Benrey beats Tommy by a longshot, sliding to his knees in front of the couch and pulling Gordon into a hug. This only serves to agitate him.

“Ugh, Benrey!” Gordon complains, and it’s the most emotion Tommy’s heard from Gordon in a week. He almost cries.

Benrey isn’t deterred, only hugs Gordon tighter as he begins to ramble. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice I should have seen it I’m sorry Gordon I’m so sorry-”

Gordon sits up, Benrey still clutching him like a koala and apologizing. He barely seems to register it, though, instead bringing a hand to his head and wincing. “My head is fucking killing me,” he mumbles.

“We’re all hurting, asshole, get in line,” Bubby snarks. He’s sitting with his legs crossed on the other side of the room.

Coomer, who had previously been sitting next to Bubby, has made his way to the couch. He places a hand on Gordon’s back and smiles at him. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Gordon!”

Tommy can’t help it anymore. With a wide smile he jumps onto the couch next to Gordon, pulling him (and by extension Benrey) into a hug. “Thank- thank goodness you’re okay!” And yup, Tommy can definitely feel himself crying now, but he doesn’t really care! Gordon’s back!

Having gotten a few more of his faculties in order, Gordon starts to realize that things aren’t exactly normal. Like, for example, everyone around him is injured to varying degrees. “What- why do you guys look like shit?” he asks.

Benrey still hasn’t broken out of his longform apology to make any stunning rebuttals, so Tommy just answers him. “I got- I got punched in the face by a Skeleton,” he nods.

“Holy shit, Tommy,” Gordon actually processes his appearance for the first time. “Is that broken? I can-” He worms his hand out from the hug mess, and before Tommy can protest that he really shouldn’t be using his powers right now, the pain in his face is gone in a flash.

Sometimes it pays to be friends with a god with a minor healing domain. Not when he heals you instead of resting like he should be doing, but other, more fun times.

Tommy gasps. “Gordon! No! You should- you shouldn’t be blessing people, right now!”

“I also got punched in the face by a Skeleton!” Bubby points at his bruised cheek. “The Skeleton was just inside Gordon.”

Oh. Well. He just said it, didn’t he?

“The… the what?” Gordon questions, clearly distressed.

“B-Bubby!” Tommy yells at him. “Why did you say that!?”

“What? We’re sharing things today!” Bubby gestures to himself. “I, for one, would want someone to tell me if I punched them like that!”

“The Skeleton was… inside me?” Gordon stammers out. Slowly, Tommy slinks his arms away from him, and he can see Benrey doing the same.

Gman steps in. “What Bubby, is. Saying, is that. You’ve been, possess...ed, by a. Skeleton, for a whole week.”

“What?! No, they- they can do that!?” Gordon shouts. Tommy thinks he’s about two seconds away from having to stop Gordon from pulling his own hair, when…

“They did it to me.”

Tommy hadn’t expected Benrey to speak up again, not since he revealed the fact Skeletons could possess people in the first place. But here he was, staring straight down at the ground, sitting on his hands.

“Um, we… We knew the Skeletons and their cult were bad for a long time,” Benrey continues. “But we didn’t… know. How bad.” He sighs, looking towards Tommy and Gordon. “I think if we told you guys, probably wouldn’t suck as much as it has. You wouldn’t have been hurt, Gordon.”

Gman places a hand on his son’s back as Benrey talks. Bubby has found his way back to Coomer’s side. All of them have grim expressions on their face, listening to a story to which they know the ending.

“So, uh. Two-thousands years ago. I went down to look at them, and they-” Benrey scratches the side of his face. “I don’t remember much after that, but they got me.”

Benrey draws his knees to his chest. “They made me do a lot of things. I didn’t… World got- got fucked. Society two time, second one didn’t like magic so much.”

Things suddenly start making a lot more sense. It’s like a missing puzzle piece gets clicked into place in Tommy’s mind, or a lightswitch gets turned on, or something like that. They haven’t been hiding this out of malice, or messing with the new guys, it was-

Gordon reaches out, grabbing onto one of Benrey’s hands. He cups his husband’s face gently, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Hey, Benrey, look at me,” he whispers. “It’s okay. I’m here, you’re safe.” Benrey launches forward, clinging onto Gordon, and Gordon holds him.

It was fear.

Tommy turns to the others. He has a feeling Benrey is done talking. “But… but why didn’t they do anything this time?” he asks them. “If- if they wanted to destroy things, why wait?”

“Well Tommy, if I had to guess,” Coomer hypothesizes. “We were able to knock Benrey back to normal relatively easily last time, as well as pummel the Skeletons we did find to the ground. Perhaps they wanted to weaken us from the inside before attempt number two?”

Goodness, this is a lot for Tommy to process right now. A societal-wide reckoning caused by the possession of one of his dearest friends? It’s a little much. He leans back on the couch. Damn it, this must be what Darnold felt like earlier.

“Wait a second,” Gordon suddenly pipes up. “Where the fuck is Joshua?”

Tommy pulls out his phone. “He’s with Darnold. He knows what’s been going on, we’ve been texting. It’s fine.”

“Oh, good,” Gordon sighs, but then he changes his tune. “Wait, he KNOWS?!”

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #sodashipping #somewhat darnold's a little missing in this chapter #he's fine #god au #my writing #i see la vie en rose #hlvrai gods au

[renaultmograine]

Hey it’s pretty late, but I wanted to get to this:

I’m writing a novel, and I’m a third of the way through this. Starting with my novel is part of my English grade, but to graduate, I need critiques from people on it. I posted it to several sites such as Nanowrimo, but it didn’t get the traction I require, so I thought I’d use Tumblr, since I have a much father reach on here.

If you are interested in the fantasy genre, willing to read ~25k words, and are capable of giving constructive criticism, I implore you to take a read of my novel. If you’re interested, send me a message through Tumblr’s messaging system, and I will hook you up with the link.

Here’s a summary:

It had been foretold for centuries that a dragon would destroy the lands of Kaedes, and now that the time has come, the prophesied ones are no where to be found. Follow a war veteran turned adventurer, a deceased and back again warrior, a pirate in search of something new, a barbarian outcast, and the priestess accompanying them as they travel to try to save the world for nothing more than the hell of it.

And here’s a preview:

“Everyone down!” Jack yelled over his shoulder before he hit the deck. The four are down before the giant, uprooted tree smashed through the tavern, slicing the roof clean off and destroying much of the walls in the process.

“Holy Gods, that’s a bloody giant!” The shorter man yelled.

“Astute observation, sir!” Jack’s reply dripped with sarcasm as he stood, watching the large, thirty foot creature swinging a once great oak tree with the presumed intent of leveling the entire town. He pulled his longsword out from its sheath, mind racing with an attempt at a plan. “Now help me kill it!”

“Nuh-uh!” The short man exclaimed.

“That’s a death wish!” The taller man cried out.

“Cowards! The lot of you!” Jack hissed.

The moon elf forsaken was by Jack’s side, her swords drawn, glowing a faint red and blue on either blade. “Distract it. I’ll get up high and take care of it from above.”

“Got it.” Jack nodded, sheathing his sword and reaching for his harmonica.

“Preferably not with your death.”

“You just worry about your part.” Jack found a sizable rock and picked it up. The forsaken eyed him curiously before running out of the remains of the bar and past the giant. The giant watched her advance, and raised the tree to smash her. “Hey, bastard!” Jack yelled at the giant, throwing the rock at it. The giant turned to Jack, looking more annoyed than angry. He put the harmonica to his mouth and blowed, hard, and the giant was not a fan of that. He roared and raised the oak tree he was using as a club, and Jack took that as sign to start running.

Jack ran down the main road of the town, a small town with barely enough to people to call it such, blowing as hard as he could into the harmonica. The giant smashed the tree down just a few feet from Jack’s heels, urging Jack to run harder, but Jack couldn’t help but turn around, playing a small tune, before turning left. The giant yelled in anger, rounding the corner and running after Jack.

Jack ran past the bakery and the smithy, houses with merchant stalls sitting outside. One of the windows of these houses opens as a woman peeked her head out to see, well, either what was causing the miniature earthquakes, or who was playing the worst harmonica song during the middle of the night. Jack pulled the harmonica away, yelling, “Stay in your homes!” and ducking away from the tree that smashes down to his left. He turned left again, breathing heavily now. Man, playing the harmonica and sprinting really pushed your lung capacity to its limits.

“Whatever you’re doing, do it quicker.” Jack pleaded, eyes scanning the rooftops of the buildings as he ran. There, on his right, he saw the silhouette of someone on the roof of the church, easily the tallest building in this small town, with a faint red and blue light close to them. Jack ran towards the church, then a ways past it, before he spun on his heels to look at the giant. He looked very angry with Jack now, and it made Jack smile. With a few deep breaths, he blasted the poor harmonica with as much air he could fill his lungs with, causing the high pitched wheezing noise of an unpracticed player. This made the giant angrier, and he started running for Jack. Jack stood his ground, taking another deep breath and blowing hard into the harmonica.

The giant stopped in front of the church and raised the oak tree, and Jack waited for the slow downswing of the tree to rush out of the way, branches snapping as they hit the ground just a foot or so away from him. Jack looked up, and saw the forsaken elf leaping across the gap, landing on the shoulder of the giant and driving her blades into it. The giant made an absolute horrid noise, shrieking and letting go of the oak tree to try to swat at the forsaken.

Jack flipped the harmonica around in his hand before he puts the cool metal to his mouth again, and played a small tune, bolts of fire forming behind him and launching towards the giant. The giant cried out as fire connects with flesh, igniting and burning when it hit it in the arm and the face. It started stumbling towards houses, and Jack played a few sharp notes to create ice from nowhere, freezing its feet to the ground. Jack looked to the forsaken elf, seeing her struggle to keep her balance on the giant as she repeatedly stabbed into the giant’s neck.

Some people were outside now, trying to figure out what the commotion was. “Stay in your homes!” Jack called again as the giant smashed free of the ice. Jack began playing his harmonica again, creating more ice to stop the giant on its tracks. Jack wasn’t the strongest minstrel, and because of that, it was a constant back and forth as Jack cast the spell and the giant shattered the ice. “Hurry up, up there!” Jack yelled to the forsaken.

“You think I’m having tea with the archdruid up here!?” The forsaken yelled back. “I can’t just decapitate this thing in one fell swoop!”

“Then do it in several swoops!” Jack replied, blasting a few notes as quick as he could to stop the giant from smashing into the church. The forsaken seemed to take the advice, as she jammed one sword into the shoulder of the giant and doing a heaving swing with the other, slicing a good chunk of the neck open. The giant tried to cry out in pain, getting nothing out but a wet choking sound from the blood filling his lungs. The forsaken removed her sword, and jumped behind the giant, but she didn’t appear on the ground behind it. Jack was worried, but all he can do to help was keep the giant as still as possible for her. Forsaken were exceptional at killing, she could manage this.

The giant’s actions were erratic now, being met with the certainty of death would make many people do the same. When he saw the forsaken reappear on the giant’s other shoulder, Jack was met with a chilling question. When this giant dies, how was it going to fall? Jack turned to the crowd of villagers that have gathered to watch the two, yelling, “What did I say!? Go! Before you’re crushed by this thing!”

The townsfolk don’t really listen, save for a few mothers shuttling their children back into their homes. Jack sighed, no one in this town was capable of either shutting up or listening, it seemed. He watched as the forsaken sliced the other side of the giant’s neck, and while it was not a clean decapitation, nor a decapitation at all, it seemed to do the trick in killing the giant. Jack tried in vain to freeze the giant’s steps as it stumbled forward, the ice being kicked apart before it could even really have a chance to slow it down. Jack turned to the townspeople again, “It’s going to fall on you! Go!”

This one seemed to reach the townspeople, as they start rushing down the dirt road. Jack followed them, because he enjoyed not being under a giant in the form of a flatbread, and he looked over his shoulder to see the giant slowly collapsing, with the elven forsaken riding him down, blades jammed into the back of the giant’s shoulder as she held for dear life.

On the way down, one of the giant’s arms smashed through a house, before it fell harmlessly onto the dirt road, blood already beginning to pool beneath his neck. Jack grinned a smug grin, one you could smile when faced with impossible odds and defying them to win. It usually took an entire army to kill a giant, but they managed with an okay minstrel and an aged forsaken. Jack walked towards the forsaken elf, who was still clinging to the shoulder of the giant. “You still with us?” Jack asked.

The forsaken looked up and glared at Jack. There was something unsettling about what was behind her eyes.

“I’m not being patronizing.” Jack said. “I’ve seen both sides of the war.”

Her gaze softened a small bit. “I’m fine.” She said.

“Well, then it’s going to be something for the history books around here.” Jack smiled, looking at the townsfolk, all of them in awe that two strangers just killed a giant before it could completely destroy the town. “Due to the heroic efforts of Jack and Perhaps, the town was still just barely a stop on the map.”

The forsaken chuckled quietly. “Breeze.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“My name is Breeze.”

“I have a feeling that Breeze isn’t your real name.”

“I could say the same about you, Jack of All Trades.”

Jack blinked. “Alright, y’know what? That’s fair.”

#i'd appreciate reblogs for this #ty #idk what to tag this at #novel tag

[super-imaginefics]

Could you do an imagine with kara where her and reader like each other but never say anything, but then she gets hurt somehow and when she wakes up they kiss?

Thank you so much for sending in a request! Since this is my first imagine, I decided to go all out, so it’s kinda long. I’m sorry it took two days for me to post this. I had written a large chunk of it and made the rookie mistake of deciding to try something, which caused it all to disappear. I got frustrated and waited a bit before writing it again. I started from the beginning again and a third of the way through, decided to save it as a draft so what happened before wouldn’t happen again, and somehow saved over it, causing all of my work to be erased. So then I started all over AGAIN and finally wrote it all before I had the opportunity to somehow mess up and erase it all again. I guess the third time really is the charm. Lol. It was my first time so I didn’t really know how to use tumblr in this regard very well. But now I know, so we’re good! :) So… here it is! My first imagine! Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy it!

You exited the elevator and entered the office floor as you always did: on the constant look out for Kara. You had been working at CatCo for five months now and had taken a special liking to a certain reporter on your very first day when she brought you a cup of coffee from Noonan’s. She had written your name on it, along with a little drawn heart and a sweet welcome message. You remembered the cute gesture as you continued to walk through shuffling employees towards your desk, steeling quick nervous glances down at your shoes, making sure you wouldn’t trip over your own two feet and embarrass yourself. It was a new habit you had picked up not too long ago after an embarrassing incident in front of your crush. 

It was your third week at CatCo and you were walking some files over to marketing when the elevator door opened and out walked Kara in a new tight sleeveless dress carrying four densely packed boxes of paperwork. You knew from experience how heavy they were and could barely even carry just one yourself. She was so strong, and the dress showed it. The moment your eyes met hers, you forgot how to walk. You tripped over absolutely nothing, just air, and fell to the ground, dropping all of the files that were in your hands. You tried getting up but you’re mind was in such shock over Kara’s outfit and the embarrassment of what just happened that your miserable attempt failed. You just sat on the ground and stared down at the files scattered on the floor, beginning to pick them up. You were stretching your arm for the few files left that were out of your reach when you saw a soft but strong hand come down, slowly pick them up, and nicely place them in the pile you had created in your lap. You were very grateful but too nervous and embarrassed to look up, so you just continued to stare down at your own hands, aligning the files in the pile into a nice stack. The same hand as before entered your vision, this time outstretched to you. You finally looked up and saw Kara. She glistened in the morning rays seeping through the building and had the softest and nicest smile you had ever seen. You gave her a small smile, hugged the stack of files to your chest with one arm, and gave her your hand. Although your smile came off as shy and appreciative, Kara could see the worry and self-doubt in your eyes. Kara grabbed your hand and gave it a soft squeeze before easily pulling you up. The moment you were on your feet, Kara placed her hands on your shoulders, making sure you were stabilized. You fell out of your trance over Kara’s beautiful face and your embarrassment hit you again. You stared down at your feet, scared to look up at Kara, scared to be rejected or looked down upon. Kara noticed your hesitance and gently but reassuringly squeezed your shoulders. You shyly moved your gaze from the floor to her blue eyes. To your surprise, they weren’t filled with pity, but with genuine support. You were overcome with emotion and suddenly wrapped your one free arm around her waist to hug her. The moment your body made contact with hers, you were stricken with fear, afraid you had overstepped. Before she could even hug you back, you immediately backed away and said a soft “thank you” before quickly walking off towards marketing again, cursing at yourself under your breath once you thought you were far enough for her to not hear you. But Kara heard. She thought it was absolutely adorable. Kara turned around and picked up the four boxes of paperwork again. She walked over to her desk with a slight pink to her cheeks and the biggest smile on her face. That was the moment Kara knew she liked you more than a friend. She really really liked you. 

You reached your desk without spotting Kara, you figured she wasn’t here yet. You did tend to get to work a little earlier than she did. You were busy typing away at an email when someone walked up to your desk. You looked up and there she was- perfect blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and the brightest smile on the planet.

“Hi Kara!” you said excitedly as you gave her the biggest smile you could.

“Good morning, (Y/N)!” she giggled as she adjusted her glasses like she always did. You found it absolutely adorable and couldn’t help but giggle back. You were entranced by her.

Kara handed you your cup of coffee from Noonan’s just the way you liked it. This is something she did quite often. She would bring you coffee in the morning a few times a week. And sometimes, if you seemed really stressed or over consumed by work, she would go out in the afternoon and get you coffee. You weren’t the only person Kara brought morning coffee for in the office, but you did get it more than anyone else. And you were the only person she brought afternoon coffee to. 

You looked down at the hot cup of coffee in your hands and noticed your name beautifully written on it as always. Expecting to find a heart drawn next to your name as always since your first day, something she also never did for anyone else but you, you were surprised to find something a little different. Instead of one heart, there were two. Two bubbly hearts beautifully connected by a series of swirls. You beamed up at her and Kara blushed in return.

“Kara, it’s beautiful. I can’t believe you took the time to draw this this morning. I hope you didn’t have to wake up early to do this. Please tell me you didn’t,” you said worriedly as you didn’t want her sacrificing her sleep for you. No matter how much you liked her or how head over heels you were, you didn’t think you were worth it.

“Actually, I didn’t draw it this morning. I went to Noonan’s and grabbed a few cups last night and drew it. It took me a few times but I had to get it perfect. I couldn’t risk only having the one cup they give your coffee in. So I brought it with me this morning and asked them to fill it with your order. I also added a bit of whipped cream on the top to make it fun. I know you had an especially rough day yesterday and you crashed the moment you got home. I didn’t want to keep you from your very much needed sleep so I thought I’d do a little something for you in the morning.”

“Awwww, Karaaaa…..” you got up from your chair, walked around your desk, and gave her the biggest hug. Kara wrapped her arms around you as tight as she could without hurting you. 

You both separated from the hug at the same time and took a step back. She smiled at you and you turned your head away to blush. 

All of a sudden, something came crashing through the window. A big piece of bright green crystal was flying directly at you. You froze in fear and couldn’t move. Kara saw it. She knew what it was. There wasn’t enough time to safely push you out of the way, but she couldn’t let you get hurt. Kara stepped in front of you and the next thing you knew, she was sent flying back across the building, landing on a desk, causing it to collapse under her. 

“Kara!” you screamed. You ran over to her, bending down and pushing the broken desk pieces out of the way so you could get to her. 

“Kara? Kara!? Kara, can you hear me?”

She wasn’t responding. She was knocked unconscious. You examined her and saw a few small green shards embedded in her skin and one large piece that had stabbed her in the stomach. You looked back up at her face and saw green lines beginning to form, almost like veins. You had no idea what was happening and had no idea what to do.

“Kara! KARA!” You began to softly slap her face a little bit. “Kara! Come on, Kara! Wake up, Kara! Wake up!”

You looked down at her body, trying to see if there was anything you could do. You knew that taking out the big stake-like piece in her stomach could cause even more harm and damage her body more than it already was. So you tried to get out the little shards that littered her body like glass. You didn’t know what it was, but you figured it was probably hurting her a lot more than just small cuts. You had a feeling that getting the most you could out and away from her would help. 

You turned to her face again. “Kara! Wake up! Get up! I know you can do this!” You tried slapping her face a bit again. Nothing. 

“Somebody! Anybody! Help her! Please!” you screamed. You saw the green on her face glow brighter and begin to spread across her body. Her wounds were starting to do the same. You looked back up into that beautiful face of hers, usually so happy and full of life, now struggling to live and covered in pain. You began to cry.

“HELP HER! HELP HER! SOMEBODY HELP HER, PLEASE! SHE NEEDS HELP! PLEASE!” you now screamed as loud as you possibly could, nearly screeching.

At that moment, as if it were some miracle, like your prayers had been answered, people in black tactical uniforms came barging into the building. 

“FBI!” a young white woman with short auburn brown hair yelled as the agents moved towards Kara.

“Please get out of the way, Miss,” an older taller black man with a short buzz cut asked you. 

You looked down at Kara and cupped her face with your hand. You didn’t say anything.

“Get out of the way,” the same lady, now standing next to you and the man, said sternly.

Still on the ground with Kara, you finally turned around to look up at them both, tears streaking down your face. “No.”

“You need to get out of the way. We can’t help her if we can’t get to her,” the man said.

You stood up and took a step back. “Okay. But I won’t leave her.”

The two quickly examined her and began to lift her off of the ground. The man picked Kara up bridal style and the woman helped him adjust her. They suddenly turned to walk away with no explanation.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!? Where are you taking her!?” you yelled at them. 

“It’s classified,” the woman said as they kept walking. You chased after them and stood in front of them to block them from going any further.

“I don’t care if it’s classified! I’m not leaving her! She’s my best friend and she just saved my life! She’s in this situation because of me!” you began to cry harder but continued on, “I need to help her! I need to know that she is okay! I promise I won’t get in the way. Please…….. I love her.”

And it was in that moment that the auburn brown haired woman’s demeanor softened, “Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You were sitting next to Kara in the medical bay of what seemed like a big government facility. For some reason, everything was very secretive. You brushed Kara’s hair back from her face as you held her hand close to your chest. The doctors were able to take out all of the green crystal shards, including the large one in her stomach, and stabilize her. But they didn’t know when, or if, she’d wake up. The lady and man from before had stepped into the room for a bit before letting you see her. You wondered why two random people would want to spend private time with her, especially when she’s unconscious. You had also noticed that Kara’s body had healed it’s wounds remarkably fast.  

You moved your hand from Kara’s hair to her face, cupping it gently, softly rubbing her cheek with your thumb. “Kara, I don’t know if you can hear me, but, please wake up. I need you to wake up. I can’t lose you. You’re the closest thing I have. Please. If anyone can do it, it’s you. Come on, show ‘em. Show those doctors you can do it. Show them just how strong you are. You’re strong enough to get through this, I know you are. You have to be…” you wiped away the tears falling from your eyes, “I believe in you Kara.”

You waited a few minutes but there was no response. You should have known, it was stupid to think she could hear you. You leaned back in your chair, praying she would wake up.

You sighed and looked at Kara’s tired face. “Why did you do that Kara? Why did you step in front of me? You should have let it hit me, then you wouldn’t be hurt. You could’ve died Kara,” you began crying again, “The world needs Kara Danvers. You should have let it hit me Kara. You should have let it hit me. I’m not worth saving, especially at your expense.”

You felt a soft squeeze in your hand and you froze.

“Kara? Oh my gosh, Kara! Kara, wake up! Kara, come on, you can do it! Please come back to me Kara. I can’t live without you. Please wake up. You can do it.”

You kissed her hand, “I believe in you……. I need you Kara.”

Kara’s eyes began to open and you stood up, holding Kara’s face in your hands. “Kara?”

Kara’s blue eyes met yours and she smiled.

“Kara!” you threw yourself over her and gave her a gentle hug. She wrapped the one arm that wasn’t trapped under yours and laughed. You pulled away to look at her again, take her all in, when she began to sit up. 

“Hey, Kara. Slow down. You got really hurt and you just woke up. Take it easy, okay?” 

“I’m fine, (Y/N)” You gave her an uncertain look. “I promise (Y/N), I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You were knocked unconscious. Do you feel a lot of pain?”

“No. I barely feel any pain at all.” 

You stared at her in confusion. “But how? How are you not in pain? You almost died Kara.” You dozed off for a second, “You almost died….”

All of a sudden, you felt anger building up inside of you.

“Kara. Are you insane? Why did you do that Kara? Why did you step in front of me?”

Kara opened her mouth to say something but you continued. 

“No, Kara. No. You could have died. You could have died! Why did you step in front of me? Why did you take the blow for me? Why did you save me? You should have let it hit me, Kara. I’m not–”

You were interrupted by Kara crashing her lips against yours. You froze for a second in shock but soon fell into the kiss, closing your eyes and synching your lips with hers.

Kara held your face in her hands and slowly separated from the kiss, looking deeply into your eyes.

“You ARE worth saving (Y/N), ESPECIALLY at my expense. I will always protect you (Y/N), even if it means I have to die doing so. I will do anything I have to in order to keep you safe, ALWAYS. I promise.”

This time you crashed your lips against hers, kissing her passionately. You put your hands on the back of her head, pulling her closer to you, your fingers intertwining with her blonde locks. Kara wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled your bodies even closer together. You continued kissing for what felt like an eternity. And in this magical long-awaited moment, it felt like it was just the two of you, just you and her in the world.

Kara pulled back from the kiss and rested her forehead against yours, grabbing one side of your face with one hand and passing her other hand through your hair until it reached the back of your upper neck.

“(Y/N)?” Kara asked.

“Hmm?” you replied happily, not moving and eyes still closed, relishing in Kara’s touch.

“Do you remember what you said, at CatCo?” Kara asked hesitantly. You pulled your head back to look at her, a look of confusion on your face.

“I heard you, (Y/N). I heard what you said when I was hurt, when they were carrying me away.”

Your eyes widened a bit in panic and you looked away. Kara gently placed her hands under your chin and turned your head to face hers. She could sense your worry.

“(Y/N),” Your name beautifully rolled off Kara’s tongue in the sweetest and most reassuring tone you had ever heard. You looked at her and she gazed deeply into your (Y/E/C) eyes like they held the world.

“I love you too.”

#Anonymous #supergirl imagine #kara danvers imagine #supergirl #kara danvers #imagine #kara danvers x reader #supergirl imagines #kara danvers imagines #anon #send me asks

[withasmoothroundstone]

How hard is it for people to both not fear death AND not fear disability?

Things I’d love to see:  People honestly working to remove people’s fear of death and anything connected with it, without veering hard into deadly levels of ableism.

Like... I’m one of the least afraid of death people I know, even among disabled people.  And people with complex medical issues tend to generate larger numbers of people who don’t fear death just through sheer exposure.  I’ve written -- a lot -- about how I see death, and how accepting it as part of life has been vital to anything approaching happiness.  Especially since, at least after my health nosedived ten years ago but before the causes were diagnosed and treated, I really didn’t expect to live past 35 or so and neither did some of my doctors.  

And by really didn’t expect to live, I mean I woke up in the middle of the night most nights so weak that I couldn’t lift my head off my chest, move my arms around at all, and discovering the only reason I was breathing was because I was hooked to a bipap that had a central apnea mechanism that also served to aid breathing in cases of extreme weakness or other respiratory issues(1).  Add to that my body failing on me in assorted random ways, and I was more prepared for my possible death than anyone else in my life was.  

I don’t think this is that uncommon an experience for a disabled person.  Like, some disabled people and people with life-threatening conditions are terrified of death no matter what happens.  But for a lot of us, sheer proximity leads to familiarity and a lack -- or reduction, at least -- of fear.

But.  This is where everything veers way the hell off course in many people’s heads.

The fact that we don’t fear death doesn’t mean we want to die.

The fact that we don’t fear death doesn’t mean that we think death is preferable to life with our current, or future, disabilities.  And if we do think that, sometimes it has nothing to do with our disability at all, but people are very willing to speculate that it does, because, they think, they would certainly rather die than be us or face the futures we face.

And that shit?

That shit kills us.

So this isn’t some kind of trivial side preference I can overlook when overwhelmingly, people who promote a lack of fear of death do so in a way has connections -- sometimes more extreme than others -- to a fear of disability.

And disabled people who want to be alive are presumed to fear death.  Because why the hell else would we want feeding tubes, breathing machines, and all the other assorted equipment that they assume it’s better to be dead than live with.

I’ve directly encountered this mentality when trying to get medical care.  When I needed feeding tubes(2) I had people trying to tell me not to get them.  It was so bad that it took people calling the hospital (yes, tumblr saved my life, scary as that is to say -- and a serious thank you to everyone who called, that had to benefit not just me but other disabled people at that hospital) to get them to knock it off and give me the tube.  They weren’t telling me I didn’t need it.  They were telling me I’d be better off without it.  When my DPA inquired directly as to what they meant by this, one doctor confirmed that they saw going home and dying as preferable to living with a feeding tube.  And that’s not an unusual viewpoint among medical professionals.  I wanted the tube, they admitted I needed the tube, I was quite vocal in asking for the tube (which they’d wanted to put in and I’d resisted about six months prior) but they were resisting the tube because some of them didn’t care if I lived or died (or even possibly wanted me dead because out of the way and easier) and some of them cared but had seriously misplaced values.

And the irony is that a lot of ableism is based in a fear of death.  People equate death and disability, or see disability as a partial (or, sometimes, full, believe it or not) death.  People see disability as a sign that their bodies are fallible, and therefore mortal, and people afraid of their own mortality are often terrified of disability.  Some such people convince themselves that only people who “don't take care of themselves” becoming disabled or ill, because they want so badly to believe they are in total control of their physical fate.  So an intense fear of disability is often rooted in an intense fear of dying.

Anyway -- the connection between ableism and fear of death makes it especially unpleasant that very few people are working to simultaneously make people less afraid of their own mortality and less afraid of disability.  Even though the two ought to go hand in hand.

I understand why many disabled people are unwilling to publicly confront cultural or personal fears about mortality.  It’s incredibly common for disabled people to be pressured to die, and to be told that the only possible reason for us to live with certain medical issues is that we must be horribly afraid of dying.  It’s also incredibly common for people who want their culture to confront fear of dying, to (whether they intend to or not) explicitly play to people’s fears of becoming disabled.  Like, “Are you sure you’re afraid of death?  What if you ended up like this person?  Wouldn’t you want to die rather than that?”  And that’s life-threatening to disabled people.  And no matter how much death is a good thing in the scheme of things (and I believe it is), it’s incredibly fucked up to say that one group of people have an obligation to die, or that it’s better to be dead than to be that one group of people, or anything even remotely along those lines.  Because death may not in and of itself be a terrible thing, but forcing someone to die before their time is beyond horrific.  That’s why our species generally has rules against murder.  And a lot of the time there’s some dangerous, creepy-ass stuff for sick and disabled people lurking behind some people’s encouragement to accept or even embrace death.

I also understand, though, why it’s important to accept death.  And I can’t make myself sweep that under the rug just because so many people who talk about it push agendas that are toxic to disabled people’s survival.  I think accepting death -- truly and on all levels -- leads to a greater acceptance of disability, and vice versa.  

So it’s weird to me that pretty much everyone talks about one without the other, and makes them mutually exclusive.  When it’s more like the two ought to enhance each other.  Losing your fear of death will generally lead to less fear of disability.  Losing your fear of disability will generally lead to less fear of death.  If you handle them on a deeper level than most people seem willing to go.

And damn it I wish more of us would go there.

Like, look death in the face, look disability in the face, and not view either one as the enemy.  Figure out why it is that so many disabled people who aren’t afraid to die are willing to live with respirators and feeding tubes and intractable pain.  Figure all this out before people play on these fears even more as aid to disabled people is slashed all over America.  And if you seriously think there are never financial motives behind promoting a “better dead than disabled” mentality, you’re not paying close enough attention to what’s going on.

Also -- on a purely self-centered note -- I’d love if more people were writing about things like this so I wouldn’t have to sit here trying to find ways to explain and put things into words that I’ve never seen fully explained or put into words before.  Because this post is incredibly incomplete -- it’s got gaping holes everywhere where things are unsaid because I can’t figure out how to say them -- and I can’t fill in the blanks entirely by myself.  

And yes, I know other people must be talking about it because my observations have to be incredibly far from unique or groundbreaking.  But I don’t know where this is happening.  Most people seem to take one of these things at the expense of the other -- and either one has potentially deadly consequences for disabled people.  (And yes, that’s bad, even if death in and of itself is not.)  Our ethics really don’t have to be as paint--by-numbers as people seem to want to make them.  And these things are vitally important now more than ever.

[/grumpy stick]

(1) They even used it to stabilize me before sending me to the ICU last year.  As in -- from what I’m told, I don’t remember any of this -- the respiratory team set up my bipap, from home, to treat respiratory failure from severe alkalosis, in the emergency room. Because it already had a setting to automatically force breathing if it stops, and I wasn’t really grasping what breathing was or that I was supposed to be doing it.  And I pretty much had to wear it day and night throughout a big chunk of the ICU stay too.

(2) A G-tube used for drainage to prevent gastroparesis-related aspiration pneumonia, and a J-tube to allow me to get enough food into my system to not be starving every day even on a liquid diet.  So initially I had a GJ tube in a single stoma and now I have separate G-tube and J-tube each with its own stoma, both MIC-KEY buttons, for anyone curious.

#ableism #deadly ableism #fear of death #death #dying #disability #fear of disability #this is ableism #life

[circular-time]

SERIOUSLY, EYEBALL?

Are we doing this now? 

 The good news is that this week was GREAT. 

My usual low level depression, which has been heavier than usual since the election, eased off last week. Also, one of my three -- no, four -- no FIVE, dear gods no wonder there's always something -- chronic health problems slunk away with its tail between its legs saying, "later, babes... shall we do August?" (Intermittent sinus infections that cause frequent migraines and often require 3-5 courses of antibiotics, neti pot, and various home remedies to knock out). Plantar fasciitis, arthritis/fibro, and fucked-up GI have been relatively manageable lately too. 

 A lot of my depression stems from the fact that I'm always pushing aside pain and other low-level intrusions in daily life, so I'm just plain tuckered out. I'm constantly having to evaluate whether I can get through any one thing -- a party, errands, a trip -- when I can never know in advance whether it'll be a good day or bad day. So, when one of the low-to-mid-level problems like a 3-month sinus infection lets up, I suddenly feel SO FULL OF ENERGY AND LIFE because I've been granted an extra spoon or three. 

I got hooked on Big Finish partly as a coping mechanism. I can't take pain meds because they set off G.I. problems, so a lot of my self-care consists of variants on Spock's THERE IS NO PAIN Vulcan mind trick, which I picked up from TV as a child (I've had arthritis since birth; the other things came in my 30s). Distractions that engross my mind help me not notice I feel like crap. Audios do it better than anything else, because they provide immersive virtual reality, including sound effects and real voices, BUT unlike a movie they require my imagination to meet them halfway and invent the visuals, making them more experiential. Brilliant. A+ distraction therapy with absolutely no side effects beyond a hole in the pocketbook. 

So aaaaanyway. Last week, Alien Soul / Dalek Heart came out, and the second half of that was almost up to the level of a Heaven Sent tour de force. On top of which, it's one of those stories that wrapped up its internal storyline, but left huge tantalizing loose ends that are just BEGGING for a sequel. 

 My writer brain went wild. 

I've been pecking steadily at the grand finale of Hierophant, and it will get done, but writing this year has been pushing a bicycle uphill. 

 Now, suddenly, I can't write fast enough. The R&D, outlining of structure, and scene by scene breakdown that took a month on my last novella-length story took 3 days. I'm seeing weak spots and plot snags, then finding sound solutions that suggest further story elements, usually within the day that I've identified the problem. Characterization is swinging. Dialogue is coming easily again, which it hasn't in a long time. Instead of pushing a bicycle uphill, I feel like I'm driving a Zamboni. There is nothing better than finishing a chunk, asking Siri to read it aloud, and thinking, "Yep. Perfect. Readers are gonna love that."

I wrote maybe 800 words of fiction in March. In the past week, I've written over 16,000 words. 

Mood? Snapping fingers at pain. Who cares if I hurt? I've got a story to write! The only trouble has been making myself stop to eat, sleep, and get on with daily life. I've even been brainstorming/dictating to Siri while driving. (Which works like a charm, apart from the names; I have to remember that she transcribes Dalek as "doll like" or "garlic.") 

 Soooooo. Intermittent chronic health problem #3 just said, "staying up late staring at the screen? Forgetting to wash your eyes twice a day with lid scrubs and use eyedrops? PENALTY!!!!" 

 I noticed my left eye was starting to go last night, so I gave it a good soak and tried to appease the HSK gods with extra eyedrops before bed, but noooooooo. Woke up this morning blind in my left eye, and it's goopy and itchy -- essentially it's cold sores on the cornea -- and bright red. Here we go again. At least I know what it is and how to fight it (steroid drops, antiviral pills which I have on hand, and various remedies), but now it's back to going to the eye doctor every week, taking steroids (bleh), and all the other fun extra maintenance that makes managing a health problem like a part-time job. I want to write exclamation not deal with this crap. But I have to beat it back into remission with a stick, because complications include permanent blindness, or in rare cases, herpes climbs up the optic nerve and kills the patient. 

 If my phrasing is occasionally strange, I apologize in advance: please be amused by Siri dictation errors. *insert rant about all the Tumblr posts that are screencaps of text which Siri cannot read aloud, so I just skip over them because my right eye is tired* 

My life is a series of low-level health annoyances that can occasionally be quite serious annoyances, and fuckityfuck sometimes I wish I could do ordinary things without having to pay a penalty. But on the upside, unlike nearly everybody else combatting chronic health problems, I’ve got financial support, so I can't really complain. Instead of losing my job or my savings, I can afford to stay home and rest. So I am a textbook case of privilege as well as the spoon theory.

#this is why we can't have nice things #health vent #TL;DR: writing marathon hits speed bump known as herpes simplex keratitis

[violetemerald]

So the tumblr mobile app is really frustrating me these past couple of days but…

for this: http://luvtheheaven.tumblr.com/post/159203462757/jerseydevious-ricobrzenskas-hypocean

I got two asks. One I accidentally answered privately despite a really long answer I meant to have be public. Great. Stay tuned to see if I can get it back from the person I sent it to via copying and pasting.

And the other…

@traumacarriedsara asked me the other of the two “asks” I received about this… and THANK YOU. This was too much fun lol. (BTW I’d happily do this again and much much shorter once you catch up on Legends of Tomorrow…) I had a lot of fun with this, saved it as a draft, and… lost it. Maybe I sent it privately by mistake *again* just like the other, I don’t even know…

So… idk what’s going on but let’s just create a text post, shall I? I still have the whole post because of the magic of copying and pasting and me having prepared this time to maybe lose it... lol

Character Aaron Hotchner from Criminal Minds, you say?

Headcanon A: what I think realistically

Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Headcanon C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Headcanon D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

…

Well really, almost all my Hotch headcanons are some combination of the A, C, and D types.

I think they wouldn’t realistically call it that, but David Rossi and Aaron Hotchner are straight (albeit Hotch I think has a more specific type or might lean demisexual) yet they are clearly in a queerplatonic relationship with each other. I’m talking way beyond typical best friends. They have each other’s backs at work and for home life. They know each other’s secrets and hardships. Rossi helps out Hotch with practical things whether it be coaching Jack’s soccer team or helping him go into Witness Protection in the new season. In general Rossi has been painted as everyone’s protector on this show but especially Hotch’s because Hotch helps protect everyone else and doesn’t have anyone else to particularly look out for him. That being said, I like to headcanon that way more than on the actual show, there have been times when Rossi needed things and Hotch goes above and beyond to help him. There’s hints of it anyway but I imagine also that there are times when maybe Hotch has acknowledged to himself, even, however more difficult it is… acknowledged to Rossi! just how important Rossi is to him.

A headcanon that amuses me a bit that I often think about while rewatching the show is that Hotch is in love with JJ. Usually not heartbreaking although… I think if it is requited at all it’s mutual pining at best.

I believe Hotch and Beth wouldn’t have broken up.

I headcanon that until Beth, the only person he’d ever slept with was Haley. They met in high school after all.

I strongly headcanon that Hotch grew up in an extremely complicated abusive situation and only Rossi knows these kinds of details about his past, although the rest of the team are good at their jobs and have plenty of suspicions. It doesn’t work with canon exactly UNLESS I really force it but I’ve been taking notes in my rewatch and so many little things about Hotch add to my thought process about what could’ve happened to him, and I’ll try to write a Hotch fanfic at one point.

Part of what doesn’t work with canon is that his parents, either of them, abused him. Because of the way he talks about his father’s (contradictory two different causes of) death, and after Morgan prompts him in a season 7 episode, his mom too. (She made him good breakfasts and he serves the same to Jack.)

I have concocted an elaborate headcanon for myself in the meantime where Hotch’s father kidnapped, sexually molested, took out rage, and probably killed random kids and Hotch was “only” a helpless witness for some of this, his father’s main form of abusing Hotch was subjecting him to watching this happen to others. This man was the epitome of psychologically abusive to his own family, to his wife/to Hotch’s mom, to Aaron, to his brother Sean but maybe *only Aaron* ended up really knowing a large chunk of the horror.

By high school or so Hotch and Sean ended up luckily in a new home or perhaps separate homes. I forget the age difference between them but Sean is a lot younger so I’m thinking Aaron was in high school and Sean was… very little. The people Hotch chooses to consider Mom and Dad are his adoptive or foster parents. They might’ve been an older couple when they took him in which is why they died before the show started…

I imagine the horrible things that he watched happen to other kids but that didn’t happen directly to him make Aaron constantly feel that he’s lucky, that any trauma he’s endured is nothing compared to the horror others have had to survive or others didn’t survive at all. I imagine his extreme involvement in cases involving trying to rescue children from monsters is not just inspired by his own feelings of love for his own son but much more than that by many memories. I take little moments from the show for his character and interpret how they’d fit in with this, like the way Hotch is often the one doing CPR on children at the end of an ep if there is a child…

Since you, @traumacarriedsara, and I already discussed seasons 1-3 Hotch moments from angles of him being abused I’ll start with some season 4 ones. Hotch tells Morgan at the end of 4x01 that the fact that he’s alive, his own life, means a lot to him. It seems like a significant and oddly vulnerable moment. This is the aftermath of the explosion and an episode where Hotch tries so hard to save a friend’s life but unfortunately fails… and then the next episode, Hotch reacts to the bad news that his hearing problems could become permanent with almost no reaction. Doesn’t let it bother him. And he takes risks that hurt his hearing and cause him physical pain like going on the plane anyway, because his job is so important to him? Hotch is also the agent, of all the agents it could’ve been, to in this episode look into the dead baby’s nursery, Hotch takes it all in, then knows to look in the chest with the flowers on top and finds the corpse.

There are more moments I wrote down but I want to skip to a few more pertinent ones:

4x04 Hotch is upset he had talked to the unsub and missed the this was the guy they’d been looking for. He’s driving, rossi in the passenger seat,and Rossi reassures him that it could’ve been any of them. Hotch is still upset about it at the end if the episode though. He bows his head shamefully and Rossi tells him we’ve all been there. Hotch takes it so personally that he couldn’t tell.

4x06 there’s a lot to unpack but… skipping a little… he has to regretfully inform the parents of the kidnapped boy that they did find a preferential sex offender at the funeral but not the person who has their son. The mother asks how many of these people are out there and he sadly and solemnly answers “more than you want to know”. I think it’s interesting how much Hotch gets to be the one dealing with the emotional parents in this episode. Later, the mother grabs the phone from Hotch and tearfully begs thar her son not be hurt. He watches her sadly.

4x09 has so much… Hotch yells at Jordan for lying to a family during one of the worst times of their lives, lying about having a sister who died. He takes it very personally. As he leaves angrily, Jordan turns to Morgan 10:45 and asks him how badly she screwed up. Morgan says on a normal scale of 1-10 probably a 6, but on Hotch’s an 11. For some reason this is a particularly sore spot for Hotch. (This reminds me a bit of the serial killer on death row lying about his childhood and Hotch reacting especially negatively.)

There’s other things I took notes on while rewatching season 4 but I’ll slip just to the simple fact that in 4x17, when asked whether or not he believes in evil,  he gives the in between answer between Rossi and Morgan. He mentions how he thinks we’re all capable of unspeakable things.

In 4x18, the first episode with George Foyet, Hotch chooses to make a pretty long trip to Boston when Shaunessy is on his death bed and it seems like that’s kind of what Hotch tends to do repeatedly, people he doesn’t know well, sometimes unsubs, he still wants to be a comfort in a dying moment if they have no one else. Hotch firmly states “we don’t let them get away with it” and what Shaunessy did was wrong. Hotch clearly and explicitly refuses to make a promise to the dying man that he doesn’t intend to keep. He will tell the victim’s families he’s sorry but not that he had no choice, because Hotch believes Shaunessy did have a choice. But by the end of the episode, after Foyet asks Hotch why more people had to die , trying to blame him, Hotch is strong enough to say “Don’t ask me,  you’re the serial killer”. I think from the perspective that Hotch had lived through his father being a serial killer and maybe his mother letting the guy get away with a lot or even helping, a lot of types of scenes work in a new light. I love rewatching the whole show with this headcanon in mind.

Even 4x24 Hotch stays professional whole anthrax ep and can’t focus on Reid dying either, he draws a firm stance around protocol and around how if there’s nothing more that they as fbi agents can do for Reid, they need to focus on the bigger picture. And it’s practically cold and kind of a contrast to how he has acted in some other episodes, but at the same time I think it’s interesting that he’s got that kind of strength and focus and determination and ability to compartmentalize.

I didn’t want to go into later seasons because we’d be here all day but I do briefly want to mention 5x08, where the whole ep deals with families being murdered again.  I find his argument with Emily about whether or not to show pictures of a dead 12 year old to a serial killer interesting. She says they’re not “just” images and he says that’s exactly what they are!! I could honestly see the scene reversed having worked too. Either character could take the practical, “these are pictures, they aren’t causing additional harm to real people” stance and either could be too blinded by emotion. But like.. considering how protective and viscerally angry Hotch is in cases involving kids… considering this headcanon of mine…

I feel like Hotch is focused on whatever it takes saving children. He stopped being a prosecutor because while putting away the monsters felt good, it always felt like it was too late. He wants to catch them earlier, be a part of literally saving lives in a less abstract way, and while it does upset him if a serial killer gets pleasure out of others’ pain, most of the time his focus is more on trying not to care about what the serial killer feels or doesn’t feel. He is extremely determined in wanting to *practically* figure out how to save the most future pain, save victims.

Now the biggest thing is that however much I try to make it work with canon, this extremely intense headcanon actually doesn’t work with canon, I just believe it anyway. It doesn’t make sense that it would never have come up. Especially with the whole Ashley Seaver arc… It probably doesn’t make sense that Hotch is this well adjusted, even. But… I like to believe it all anyway.

I am exploding with so many thoughts and feelings when it comes to so many characters on this show, really…

#criminal minds #hotch #aaron hotchner meta #criminal minds meta #fandom meta

[optimisticpoetrypost-blog]

Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

"Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

and how much  of a difference is there on average? im 23, got a few speeding tickets, thats about it

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Who's insurance covers a hit and run driver in California?

My girlfriends car was hit by a hit and run driver in the state of California. The driver of the vehicle that hit her bailed from their car and fled the scene of the accident. The vehicle was not reported stolen however we are not sure at this time who was actually driving the vehicle. When the police arrived on scene they did retrieve the insurance information from the vehicle. My question is whos insurance covers this accident? will it be claimed against our uninsured motorist on our policy? though I know that uninsured motorist does not cover vehicular damage when the driver has not been positivley I.D'ed OR does the vehicle owners uninsured motorist coverage hit us as they are liable for damages caused by their vehicle? I'm really not exactly sure of how any of this works so any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

""When people stop buying insurance because of cancellation and non affordable to renewal,will insurance co. go?

broke.

Motocycle insurance??

i want to buy a motocycle (sports bike) buti would like to know an estimate of how much it will cost for insurance. Are sports bike more expensive than a car? I'm paying around 200 for my monthly with a car right now.

Best car insurance for over 60 male?

Had a DR10 drink driving in 2009. (Long story and yes should not have done it but) Require best option for fully comprehensive covering legal etc. Any idea of which car insurance company is best?

Car insurance question?

Ive got a younger brother who's 16 years old, newly licensed, had his drivers license for about 4-6 months... he's buying a car soon but he's paranoid of what the insurance will be! Its going to be a used car with a lot of miles (90-130K) and he'll spend no more than $4,000 on the vehicle. I know there are discounts for good grades, he has a GPA of 4.2 Advice? How much will it be per month, AND what provider is best? Thanks!""

Need senior insurance advise?

my mother has a supplemental insurance health [anthem] we recently received a letter that informed us that because of the cost of living..it is necessary to more then double the monthly premiums..when my mother used a ambulance service...god bless this insurance. they paid 13 dollars and we had to pay the rest.the insurance sucks!..does anyone have an alternative supplemental insurance and has anyone tried the ARRP program..moms Aricet is 300.00 a month alone..so i found out i can get this in canada for 50.00 a month..i now order my mothers pills a little early and save the excess pills for when she gets in that infamous donut hole...its a killer out there.mom has dementia and does not have the strain that i have trying to keep her in good health.any advise would be appreciated....

Affordable Dental Insurance? Can it be true?

I recently lost my job. I would like a separate dental insurance plan besides my basic health insurance. I wonder if anyone else is feeling the pain like me. Any suggestions?

Purchasing car insurance?

I need a step by step guide to adding another car and driver to my mom's policy. I have a 1995 Ford Contour. How long will it take for her to get coverage on my car? How do I get proff of insurance?

I need health insurance?

My boyfriend and I will be moving to NYC to start college next August. We will have very little money, and will have no form of health insurance. Here in California, we both have free insurance provided by the state, but we are barely eighteen, still in high school, and therefore still living with out parents. I suppose what my real question here is can we still get free state issued insurance if we have part time jobs and no children? Or do you have to have dependents to receive that? We both have serious stomach conditions, and are sick very often. We cannot be without health insurance. But we also could not afford to pay for it. Any help?""

""Car insurance cheaper in New Orleans, LA or Suffolk County, New York??""

My daughter recently moved to New Orleans, LA as an intern temporarily....does anyone know if automobile insurance, all things being equal, will be more expensive in New Orleans, Louisiana or Suffolk County, New York ??? much thanx all""

Whats good Health Insurance?

Im 20 a year old woman in college, I recently found out I was pregnant. I want to find affordable health insurance coverage for me and my unborn child. I dont want to rely on ...show more""

Do I need motorcycle insurance?

Do I have to get motorcycle insurance? If so, whats the absolute cheapest insurance i can get?""

Just a quick question about life insurance ?

My mom had two life insurance I think one was with her job & I found another with Hartford life insurance for sick pay. Do you get to have an beneficiary on a disability check or sick pay check?

HELP! With Car insurance??????

OK so I lost my license because I got caught driving without insurance in September 2010. I just passed my test today. When I'm checking the quotes, the cheapest I have managed to find was 7400 for 1 year. That is for a 1.1L Peugeot 206 Insurance group 3. They can't expect me to pay that much for insurance for 1 year, I will need a mortgage for that. Does anyone know how much insurance will increase by after getting 6 points? I'm 20 BTW!""

How much does car insurance cost?

I'm saving up for a car and I wanna see how much I will be spending. I know it'll be a lot so I don't want any advice that I should really think about it and stuff I just want answers please. I'm 18 and I'm barley gonna get my lisence. I wanna get atleast a 2011 scion tc. How much will insurance cost? I know it'll be a lot cause of the car and cause I'm a new driver and stuff. And if anyone knows how much a 2011 tc will cost and how much I would have to pay a month for it that would help too. Can someone give me an estimate please. Thanks a lot.

Car Insurance? There has to be a way.?

My X has had two accidents and a speeding ticket in the last two years. Her insurance company dropped her. The car she is driving now is financed and as everyone knows, it must carry full coverage, but the quotes are crazy. From $200 a month to $430 a month. She used to pay $65 a month. Can anyone suggest how to get full coverage and still keep her pocketbook happy?""

Which car would insurance be higher on?

Hi, I'm 16 and I'm getting my first car. I've saved up a chunk of money to make the down payment and 2 or 3 of the monthly payments (my parents are paying for the rest). I've narrowed it down to 2 cars of about the same price. A 2004 MiniCooper and a 2005 mustang (v6). My parents will be paying for my insurance so I was hoping you could tell me which one would have a lower rate so I could make it easier on them? I already know it's going to be high because I'm a teenage driver so whatever helps really. A mustang is kind of, sort of, sports car-ish (I'm not big into cars people, ignore my ignorant terminology) so I figured that would have an effect on the insurance. On the other hand, a minicoop is very small and I don't believe they're made in the U.S like a mustang is so parts and stuff would be higher if I'm correct? Thank you very much for any help!""

Can I buy car insurance if the photo on my driving license needs renewing?

Hi. Ok I appreciate I am technically breaking the law on a number of fronts with this. I have bought a car, It is taxed and tested. It is parked on the road. However I don't have any insurance and the photograph on my license has expired. It is still possible for me to buy insurance (and therefore make the car itself fully legal) before I have received my new license? Reading the DVLA websites implies I can. The license is still valid it just needs renewing. I have no convictions, health issues, etc. Just wanted to make sure as I don't want to pick up a load of points just for a misunderstanding. Thanks!!""

How to appeal to insurance company?

My mom had Healthnet for her insurance provider in California. We started our move to Texas in Dec 2005. Mom made her payment in January. They still had their home in California, and it wasn't sold until February. So legally she was still a California resident. At the end of January she told them that she had moving to Texas. They refused her payment saying that she wouldn't be covered in Texas. In February she had emergency surgery. Healthnet paid everything. Then in October 2006 they denied all payments. Mom was supposed to have surgery on the hernia back in California but the doctor kept post poning it. Until finally he just said he wouldn't be able to perform the surgery. That was in January 2006, after she made her paid her insurance. My mom didn't know she had any rights, so she started paying on this $40,000.00 bill. I don't feel like she should be paying this. I have been trying to figure out how to write a letter to appeal it. I just don't know how to go about it.""

How do you get car insurance?

I am on my mom's car insurance with Geico but it is no cost because I had my permit. I just got my license like 2 days ago. Will I have to notify them? I'm going to get a car next week probably, so you have to have car insurance to actually buy a car don't you? Could someone explain the process to me? Thx =]""

Car insurance estimate?

Hi i'm currently 16 and soon to be old enough to take driving lessons, but first off i have a question. What would be the likely insurance premium for a 2009 BMW Z4 23i kept in a public place with viper alarm system and a steering lock.""

If you drive with no license or insurance are you automatically at fault?

A friend of my got into a car accident, his car was totaled and at the time he had a suspended licenese and no car insurance. Although the police report shows that he was not at fault the insurance company of the other party is now persuing him for $14,000 in damages. Unfortunatly he is having economic hardships and cannot make the payment they are requesting. They are clearly making threats to suspend his license if he doesnt pay $250 a month. Because he had no insurance or license is he automatically at fault? Is there anything he can do? Does anyone have any info on a good lawyer? Any Information would be helpful. Thank you :-)""

How much does it estimately cost for a car insurance?

Please don't give any stupid answers. All I want is to get an estimate because I have not got ANY ANY clue about it. You can just give a range like 100-200 pounds per [unit time]. Hint: I will get my car when I am 17 so roughly how much will it be annually/monthly? The most sensible and reliable answer gets 10 points for best answer.

I have full coverage on my car insurance..i accidently dented my car and broke the window my self what i do?

i have full coverage on my car insurance ,,i accidently broke the driver side window and dented the door my self,,what should i do? tell the insurance that somebody else did it and have them fix it?..they supposed to right?""

How much would auto insurance be with State Farm for an 18 year old male with a 2006 Mazda 3 hatchback?

No tickets, no accidents, 3.0+ gpa.""

Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

and how much  of a difference is there on average? im 23, got a few speeding tickets, thats about it

""What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

Cheapest insurance for teens in northern ireland??

im trying to get insurance in my own name (policy) but everywhere seems to be way way too expensive! i was hoping for something around 2000 but the cheapest i found is 3400 for a group 4 insurance car!

Medicaid health insurance? for pregnant teen?

I am 17 years old. i recently found out i was pregnant and i am under my moms health insurance. unfortunitly i am currently unemployed and my boyfriend's job isn't that good. with my mom's insurance i have to pay $20 every time i go for an appt. and the bills are kind of high. i need better insurance for me and my baby on the way and someone mentioned medicaid. any idea how to apply? also if anyone has a good insurance for them and their baby i will take any advice!!

Car insurance?

i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions

What is a 20 pay whole life insurance policy?

if you started your insurance policy at the age of 56 how long do you have to pay for your policy to be payed out if you are 74 now

What would health insurance catagorize a house call as?

I was on vacation, and got very sick. Small rural area, options were low, so the concierge referred Mobile physician housecall care to the hotel room. they did not take insurance, but told me to submit it to my insurance. I don't know what to put on the claim form??? not an office visit...E.R.? urgent care?? help please...thank you""

""Wow, car insurance is like 3-4 times more expensive than car payments.?""

I was looking to lease a new lexus is 250 which would cost me 369 a month but i went to get a quote from geico, it said that the insurance would cost about 1600 a month. I think that is pretty insane considering you could finance a porshe 911 for that much money. I am 20 and got my license last summer. is there a time period when the cost of insurance goes down?""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?""

Affordable dental insurance?

I need two teeth fixed, one molar extracted and braces, prefer the invisible kind. I'm looking for some dental insurance, that's inexpensive, that will help cover paying for these things.""

Does my husband need car insurance?

When I signed up for car insurance my broker told me that when my husband receives his driver's license he has to be put on the insurance. My husband got his license now, but he never drives. I drive, and have insurance. He rides his bike or the bus when he needs to get around. He tells me there's no need to have insurance for him since he doesn't drive anyway. My question is: by law, do we have to purchase car insurance for my husband even if he doesn't own a car and doesn't drive mine? Or was the broker just saying that for business purposes? I just want to be informed and do the right thing, whatever it may be. Thanks in advance.""

How much does insurance through an employer cost?

I just got a job offer and was told that health insurance will cost $210 a month. That sounds really steep to me, is that normal?""

Where is the most cost effective auto insurance for male under 21?

I have been getting quotes online from a few places geico, esurance, and others and they are VERY expensive around 315-400 a month plus around $1000 down. I have no accidents or ...show more""

When will my motorcycle insurance lower?

i live in florida im going to start riding soon probly start out on a ninja 650r but i wana move up 2 a zx14 after a while(my dream bike) but the insurance is nuts on it like 800 a month now on the 14 the 650 is like 120 with amazing insurance and 250 deductables when will my insurance drop? does it go by age or experience?

How can i get my story known if Im a United States Marine Corps veteran and dont qualify for health insurance?

They tell me I make too much to get the government insurance and the company Ive worked for throughout the last 7 months will not promote me to full time to where I could even qualify for health care. Im married with a 3 month old and owe 30k in medical bills already at the age of 22. Is there anything anyone can tell me that will help?

How do car insurance companies determine fault when both drivers are giving conflicting stories? the other dri?

the other driver made a claim with his company. my damage is minimal. do i need to call my insurance company. he is lying and is at fault, but denies it to get his car fixed.from another accident. statements have been made to his company. ty.""

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

""First car! help with car insurance,tax&other stuff please ?? uk owner?

smart car 2 seater white and silver 2010 reg how much would it cost to tax and insure female driver at 17 year old? best place for insurance ?? is it worth getting a black box installed into the smart car ?? if so how much do the cost on average? where is cheapest place to get break down cover ?? what over things do i need to consider on my first car? how much does a smart car cost to fill with fuel in uk?? would love some help if possible kind regards mia xxx :D

Insurance Quotes With AAA ?

I requoted myself online with AAA, I've been with them for 9-10 years or so. And by filling out the same information with same coverages, I will save much more. Will AAA give me that new rate or am I stuck with my same rate. I hate calling customer service..""

""I am disabled,my wife is 63 and cant get affordable insurance. anyone know where to look?

she only gets 700 a month ss and shes told if she got insurance it would be about 600 a month.what do we do?

Car insurance Question?

I was driving my friends car. I hit someone. It was my fault. My friend has insurance but I dont know what kind of coverage. I was driving her car because she needed to borrow my truck. If her insurance doesnt cover her damage should I help her pay for it even though I was doing her a favor by borrowing my truck?

Car insurance questions?

1. if I have 5 years no claim bonus, can I use it on 2 different cars? different insurance companies 2. if my car insurance will ask for my no claim bonus will they return it or keep it? 3. lets say I bought a car for my dad, for his birthday but put my name as the owner of the car by mistake, can I just call DVLA to change the owner name before they send the documents to me? 4. which companies give no claim bonus for second driver? is it only Direct Line?""

What is voluntary access on car insurance?

i saw it on the go compare web site but i dont know what it is as im a 1st time driver

How long do I have to get insurance on a car I just bought in Pa?

My boyfriend bought a car in private sale over the weekend. Because his parents don't have his name on the insurance cards I had to put the title and registration in my name. Now how does he insure the car with it in my name? And how long do we have to get the car insured?

How much is insurance on a Oldsmobile Alero or a Toyota Echo???

I am currently looking for a new car, and I'm trying to find a car with a good safety rating, dependable and low insurance. Can anyone help me in my search?""

Why was my car insurance quote so cheap?

im a 17 yr old male and i have recently bought a 1.2 Peugeot 206 look for 700, i know car insurance for boys my age are stupidly expensive so when i was looking at quotes it came as no shock until i got a quote for 750 for third party fire and theft, i have no idea why its so cheap, i checked the quote through about 5 times to make sure i didn't make any mistakes but i hadn't . can anyone explain why its so low ? i don't want to buy the insurance just in case it turns out to be an expensive mistake.""

Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

and how much  of a difference is there on average? im 23, got a few speeding tickets, thats about it

Insurance on Rx-8 for a 29yr old male?

I'm almost 29 and I'm thinking of buying a Mazda Rx-8, the 230bhp version. I've got 2 yrs no claims and was wondering if anyone of similar age has one and if they could give me an idea of what the insurance would cost in Ireland??""

Motorbike insurances?

hi,just wondering whats the best and most cheapest motorbikr insurance right now on the market.at the moment iv got insurance qoutes from ebikes and is quite cheap.but the thing is,if its any good?somebodys got any experience with ebikes?sounds cheap but if there any good to insure with them?got a kawasaki vn900 almost 1 year ncb and a EU full motorbike license.age 25 full motorbike lisence 8 years almost 9.""

Student health insurance?

Our son is going to United Kingdom for his Masters, we have health insurance thru my company but it covers very little over there, should we take out a student health insurance plan on him over there?""

Did I get a good quote for my car insurance?

I am 28 years old and recently passed my driving test. My full UK driving license is 4 months old and I got car insurance with my uncle for 43 a month including 7 years no claim bonus, 506 a year. Is that a good deal?""

Can i borrow from my life insurance policy?

Can i borrow from my life insurance policy?

""If i get a one day moving permit, in the state of california, do I need insurance?""

If i get a one day moving permit, in the state of california, do I need insurance?""

Can I sue a person for no auto insurance? In the state of Texas?

I have full coverage and is paying the bill. This lady son hit me and she is the owner of the car. She came to the seen and said she would pay with her insurance. The police was called and we said no police report because they knew he was at fault. She gave false insurance. It was no good for about a month. She gave me all her information, phone,address, and everything. I called her and she said she gave me the wrong policy number, so she gave me another policy number. The problem with this other policy was she got it after the wreck. When I say sue, I just want what it costed me and my insurance company. Its $2700.00""

Why car insurance quotes go up late at night?

Just been look at car insurance for the last few days using comparison sites and I have been noticing the quotes go up and down by a few hundred pound depending on what time of day it is. Anyone know why this happens?

Health insurance in Texas for low income families?

My dad recently lost his job, but has an existing medical condition, an ex-wife, and 5 kids to support. I don't know much about the health insurance options in Texas, but I'm looking for a program that will allow my family to be insured for cheap... something like Arizona's AHCCCS health insurance for low income people""

A question about car insurance?

I recently got a statement from my insurance company saying that they can no longer support me because I got two tickets over the past three years (one was highway speeding, the other was a ticket given to me by a police officer who fabricated the location of infraction... I argued this in coiurt but I think I was not heard properly). I am paying around $ 1500... is it likely that I will be able to get cheaper car insurance somewhere else or is it pretty much the same everywhere?""

Can I Drive without Insurance? I have a license and my car Is Insured under my parents name?

Okay so I really need your help.. well help from whoever has the correct Information.. So I'm 19 about to be 20 In May, I have my driver's License, and I have my own car that I got as a present for my 18th Birthday, but It's under my parents name, but anyways my question Is, Can I drive without Insurance? I mean My Car HAS Insurance just not for me. It's under my parents Name, and I mean I Need the car for school, It's not for anything more than that? what can I Do? I know I can get Insurance but It's like expensive for me that I Don't work, and I have to be making payments for my school every month, and I know I Should have a Job, But I'm a full-time student..so yeah you can Imagine.. so yes.. who can answer this?""

18 years old insurance for vw golf group 6 incurance?

Im 18 years old male with no claim bonus, i want to buy VW Golf 05 1.9l tdi group 6 incurance, where can i find cheap insurance ? what is the best company? i can pay like 150 per month maximum. Pls help thanks.""

Car insurance for teenagers!!?

I'm currently 19, I've held my driving license for 9months, since February. I've done the pass plus thing which in my opinion and everyone else's opinion a waste of time as it doesn't really save you that much off car insurance. Car insurance for me and my friends are through the roof, the only way to get lower car insurance is to get ourselves named as a named driver through our parents as they've got many years worth of no claims bonuses. Or to even change the address of where we live, such as a family or friends place, which is away from London and off the public roads. car insurance is a cheaper that way, as well as if you pay it annually instead of in monthly instalments. I work and basically want to get a car that is relatively cheap to insure, around the 1000-1500 mark not 4000 mark. I've tried fiat punto's, corsa's, the lot and they all seem to give me quotes of 4000 when the car is worth like a 1000. Its absolutely ludicrous, I want to be the owner of the vehicle so I can start my no claims bonus, otherwise my insurance will be high for some time, but i don't want to pay 4000 or go as a named driver as i will not work on my no claims bonus. Any suggestions? I both want and need a car, buying the cars not a problem, running the cars not a problem, paying for road tax or MOT's is not a problem it's just the insurance which is the main problem!!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! :) Thanks in advance-Mike""

Non car owner insurance?

Can I get insurance to drive cars if I don't own one? I have friends who will let me drive their cars but I want to get my own insurance. I don't want to risk their no claims in case of an accident and if I don't have an accident I want to build up my own no claims but I can't find anywhere that does this....

Buying Car at 17 - Is there easier way to check insurance?

My parents are getting me a car for when i turn 17, and they asked me to look around online for one. The thing is, is there a easier way to check how much the insurance would be for me without answering a million questions. I just want to check approximately how much it would be? Because i need a car that would be about under 1500 a year insurance""

Can anyone recommend a life insurance company that will insure a person deploying to a warzone (Afghanistan)?

I am a private contractor that would like additional life insurance above what my company offers. Thank you.

What should I do if my attorney is not paying me my insurance money(california)?

ok.. I've filed a claim against my home insurance company through a lawyer. It was a house related claim. I was told my claim was settled and signed the settlement paper from attorney's office about 5 months ago and still have not received the money yet. So I called the actual insurance company and found out that the money was paid out 4 months ago. When I called my attorney's office, 4 different agents told me different stories and I noticed they might be trying to keep the money. is there any way to file a claim against lawyers? Please help""

What insurer would insure me for around 200?? And what car would that be?

My friend had a ford fiesta as her first car and her insurance was 180 a month There are now kids in my school and their insurance varies between 210-250 Their cars are peugeot 3 doors and stuff I've been looking at cars between 300-700 to buy and every time I check the insurance is HUGE I am talking 800 a month nearly!!!!! The lowest I found was 360 once but then the car was sold Does anyone what car I can get so that the insurance will be around 180-250?? All the people at school I've asked don't want to tell not does my friend. I need serious help ;( The cats I've been looking at are peugeot, Nissan, ford All between 1998-2002 years 3 doors - anyone have any ideas? Or can help me with posting links?? Of cars and then insurance I am a new driver, passed my test YESTERDAY I live in the UK West Middlands Thank you!!""

Instant Whole Life Insurance Quote Question:?

What are some cool instant whole life insurance quote sites you have to share? I've looked around a bit but I figured I'd ask here. Any link you can share will be appreciated.

Do you think my dad is paying to much for insurance?

my dad is around 44 years old and he has never been in a car accident. He has gotten tickets from when he was 19 years old. He has California casualty and he has been with them for years, we live in oregon. He has a 2006 toyota tundra darrel waltrip edition 4.7l v8 valued around 20k. He told me he pays around 100 a month for full coverage. We have 2 cars on his insurance, toyota, and my eclipse. Iv never gotten any tickets(dont know if that would affect it). THE reason i ask this is because my bf's dad just got a 2006 mustang gt and they said they only pay 76$ a month. So im just curious, Do you think my dad is over paying?? THANKS""

Health Care/Insurance...Right or Responsibility?

I see many on both sides have their own opinion on this issue. Many on the right claim it's a 'responsibility' while several on the left think it should be a 'right'. Why do you ...show more

Cheapest car and car insurance for an adult first time driver?

hi i just passed my driving tests and looking for a cheap, small and reliable car. i am 27 and a full time student. i live in small UK city. would like to how much to expect to pay for car and road tax. what other things to expect to sort out. god bless you""

What is the best car insurance for new drivers?

I'm getting my license and I'm 19.. I'm trying to figure out which insurance company would be best for me. So if anyone has any advice which one is best please let me know.

Best life insurance policy?

Which is the best life insurance policy for tax saving and investment for employee?

What's the cheapest auto insurance and do you need it to have a permit?

it speaks for itself what company has the cheapest & most reliable auto insurance company for a 16 year old driver (not 16 yet but I should have my driver's license by February 25th if I go after my birth day)

Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

and how much  of a difference is there on average? im 23, got a few speeding tickets, thats about it

Permit and Insurance please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

i am getting my permit like in two months if im going to be in my parents policy how much will the insurance go up if im going to be a driver only!!!!!!!IM GOING TO DRIVE MY DADS CAR

Car Insurance Issue's? HELPPP!?

I lost my job so I couldn't pay my car insurance for about 3 months. Then it got expired my license also got suspended because of no car insurance:/. But right now I'm back on my feet and I want to get my license reinstated and get car insurance again. I want to know how can I do that? And do I have to pay the amount I owed back to my other car insurance company or can I go to another and not pay them back? PLEASE HELP ME!

What is the average cost for business insurance? Specifically liability and workers compensation.?

I am working with a skincare product company that needs to purchase insurance to cover various things such as allergic reactions, etc...Is that liability? What are the average costs? Also need recommendations for health insurance for workers.""

Which insurance is the cheapest insurance in houston?

I am 21 year old and I got no insurance for my car. so, which insurance is the best and cheapest insurance in houston. Help me!!""

POLL: What kind of car insurance do you have?

I've just become curious due to all of the car insurance commercials; Progressive, Allstate, 21st Century, Geico etc. which do you have?""

How much is for car insurance for first time drivers?

How much is for car insurance for first time drivers?

Is it OK to lie about being married to get a lower auto insurance rate?

My insurer gives me a much lower auto insurance quote if I say that I'm married. I could say that my imaginary partner doesn't even drive. Are there any consequences to listing myself as married? Can it come back to bite me?

Cheap health insurance?

How can i get very cheap health insurance? i am 18 yrs old, i go to school and i work at a place that doesnt have insurance and i really need to go to get my teeth pulled and i need to go to the doc for my stomach... how can i get free or very cheap health insurance?? cause i have no money!!""

Premium cost of insurance

If an insurance company has a payout of 17 millions, admin expense at 5 million, and profit of 2 million, with 26,000 insured. How much premium would they charge to each client.""

Average motorcycle insurance?

What is the average motor cycle insurance for a 22 year old female who's taken the motorcycle driving course? Anybody know a ball-park figure?

Whats the best and cheapest car insurance?

Whats the best and cheapest car insurance?

Car Insurance Quotes?

Need help with some insurance quotes. Looking to pay cash for a car maybe a 2001 impala, 2000 honda accord, 2001 toyota camry. Need a couple of estimates on how much insurance would be. Driver is over 25, clean driving record, female driver. Lives in Florida. Thanks""

HHEELLLPP!!!!! with TEEN car insurance!!?

I would like to either add a 17 year old to an insurance policy or get one specifically for him..... i called geico, but they said they dont insure teens!!! What can i do? THANKS""

Teen car insurance question?

Hello. We moved this past summer and I currently reside with my grandparents for the purpose of keeping my job and staying at school. So he got a car insurance statement today saying that he has to pay nearly double his total amount just for me, a 17 year old driver, driving two of his cars. I only have a level 1 license by the way. They drive 2 new 2012 cars and trucks, would this price be accurate? Thank you.""

What is a penalty in MA for driving a car with no insurance?

I was involved in the car accident recently... I was driving in Boston the uninsured car with the New Hampshire registration. But in NH car insurance is not compulsory. The hearing will be held on my case, which is considered to be criminal. If somebody ever been in the similar situation ,plz, share your experience!""

""Excluding insurance prices, which car would be the cheapest to run: impreza wrx (2006-2088), Civic Type R EP3?""

I'm about to purchase a little sports car to treat myself. I was wondering if you could tell me which of these 2 cars would be the cheapest to run (fuel costs, tyres, parts etc) If anyone has an any other car suggestions with a similar amount of power and specs please feel free to suggest. Cheers""

Where is the best place for cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Hi there, I just bought a Renault Clio 1.2 Expression 52 plate and when i try get insurance just on my name its giving me quotes like 4555 is it becuase i am only 19 years old and i just passed my test 4 month ago ? i have been trying loads of comparassion websites but now that i have checked so many websites admiral, bell and elephant have stopped giving me quotes. could somebody recommend any good car insurance companys ? Thanks""

Cheapest car to buy and run?

Please tell me what's the cheapest car to run (inc car tax, insurance and fuel) and that is fairly cheap to buy.""

Pregnant and scared...?

I just found out I'm pregnant, my boyfriend and I are keeping it and we're planning to get married. I'm 24 yrs old, I'm in serious debt (I have not been able to get this problem resolved for the last couple of years and I'm considering bankruptcy), he doesn't have much of a job either....we're going to try our best with that but I have no idea if I should go through with the bankruptcy or if there's any other option for me. Also, (even worse) I don't have insurance at the moment. My work has open enrollment for health coverage in November (I missed it last year cuz I was out of town) so I don't know what to do there, either. And another problem.....I have yet to tell my parents and theyre gonna kill me. How can I approach/tell them? There are no family members I trust that I can talk to about this and this all really sucks but I really want this baby. Any advice? Please refrain from telling me I'm stupid, because I already know that much, and I'm gonna hear it from my parents.""

Motorcycle insurance cost for m1?

16, live in canada, suzuki gs550, cheapest insurance? p.s. heard statefarm lets you do it by month, how much would that cost?""

No car insurance california get fine reduced?

I bought a used car from the highway patrol (crown victoria) and i gor pulled over on the way home for no license plate. I got a ticket for no insurance how can i get it reduced or get out of it? I did get insurance the same day with Allstate when i got home. And dont leave a hole answers please

What's the cheapest way to get insurance when your 17?

I just bought a car and when i found out how much i had to pay i was shocked i heard something about saying you live in a different address from your parents or something i don't remember please help.

How much does insurance cost?

Im a 17 old year about to go to 18. I got my g2 and i have a FWD 2002 Mazda Proteg5. How much does insurance cost and is there a way to make the insurance cheap for me. I life in the Toronto area. I didn't take driving school.

Who knows of a good life insurance company that is hiring?

Who knows of a good life insurance company that is hiring, particularly in Los Angeles, California?""

About how much will my insurance be?

My son is going to be 16 and I was wondering how much my insurance will go up to if I get him a used Chevy silverado from within the last five years.

Is insurance lower on an rx8 or 350z?

and how much  of a difference is there on average? im 23, got a few speeding tickets, thats about it

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-would-insurance-motorcycle-cost-17-year-old-isaiah-lyons/"