#this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#just turning over the idea of executive functioning issues in my head part by part. impulse control. im extremely tightly controlled. im the #best at control. the only times im impulsive is when someone asks me something and my brain doesn't work well in the moment so i tend to b #like fuck it: says something that might fuck me over later bc im like whatever itll prob b fine lol. but mostly not an issue. emotional #control. i dont lash out at ppl except myself i guess. ill sometimes have freak out meltdowns bc i get so frustrated with myself plus mood #weirdness. so not great. flexible thinking. im pretty rigid. if plans randomly change theres like a 1 in 3 chance ill freak out and start #crying and it takes me a long time to adjust to the idea that i have to chsnge something. and things tend to have to b a certain way #not for any reason in particular. thats just how it has to b. i have to eat the same foods. operate at the same times. do thr same things. #thats just how it is. and i find it difficult in social situations to adapt to the flow of convention bc its like but we're talking abt thi #now but something just interrupted and we aren't going abck to that thing. i dont make it other ppls problem but its uncomfortable for me. #working memory. my memory is pretty fucked. self monitoring. im good at that. too good. im pathologically self reflective. planning & #prioritizing. i can plan but i cant prioritize for shit. i will spiral for hours doing nothing bc i can't decide what comes 1st. #task initation. im good at torturing myself into getting things done but i anxiously avoid a lot of things but once i start its like: im in #this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do #moderation its all or nothing. all school and nothing outside of that. cant send mail. cant clean sink. i see it and kno i need to do it an #then i just walk away from the disaster area. organization. is ok. it looks a disaster but i only exist in like 3 places so i dont lose #things often but i dont remember where i put things once i put them down i have to deduce where i would have put it. does that paint the #picture of executive functioning issues or rigid and restrictive compulsive behavior paired with self destructive impulses leading to #absolute mental exhaustion which is y things arent getting done? could b either or both. idk my ability to do things 95% of the way and wal #away leaving a mess that ill never come back to strikes me more as the former but what do i #still its worth considering bc i do have an amazing to control myself in a way that's completely out of my control. maybr my start/stop #switch is just fucked idk. slow down and reorient says my counselor u never stop to rest. shes right but also im a grad student stopping #would mean death u gotta keep swimming and doing more than u should. thats how it is #but im so tired and i only get more and more tired. so somethings gotta give eventually #unrelated #i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static #but focus is not a thing i cna control

[its-me-im-coraline]

NSFW Alphabet // Ethan Torchio

words // 2383

warnings // smut, clearly its nsfw headcannons

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader (might be mentions that seem like they are for f reamer but comeon theres lingerie for every body 👁️👄👁️)

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. an apology to the people on my tag list i think i accidentally have not been tagging you this whole time i am so so so sorry omg

request // yes, it was a reblog i cant find it right now

summary // self explanatory

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Regarding you, Ethan is the king of after care. As rough as he can be in bed, that’s just how sweet he can be once you're done with it. Goes full on dad mode (don’t know how else to explain this). He will have water, painkillers if you’re now in pain, a washcloth to clean you up, new clothes, and of course the cuddles.

“I’m alright, Ethan. I can do it on my own,” you say as Ethan walks to you with the wet cloth ready to clean the mess he made on your body.

“I know you can, amore. I just want to take care of you,” he says as he leaves a kiss on your lips.

I can also see him being the one to make a big fat breakfast the morning after, or at least get up early to pick something up.

Now I also feel that he is in need of some aftercare. It depends on the day really, if he’s had a pretty rough day and all I feel like he’d ask for some backrubs after. In this case he’d fall asleep so quickly like omg. But on the biggest part I see him feeling the need to reassure you that the things he said (i think we already established that this man would call you a slut) are not how he feels about you and will be asking if you feel the same.

“Do you love me?”

“Wha- of course I do, Ethan! Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know… I guess - I guess I am worried that you don’t after what I said.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

When it comes to himself I feel like he really likes his chest and arms. Like I don’t know but I see him really getting off with you pretty much mastubating on his chest. Ya know what I mean? (i think you do you little sluts). He pretty much enjoys anything you do on his chest. I can imagine him looking at the mirror after you two had sex, seeing the cum on his chest along with the marks you have left and just smiling.

“What are you looking at, love?” You ask, seeing as the man is standing in front of the bathroom mirror from your spot on the hotel bed.

“Nothing, just the mess you made.”

“Mhm, and I bet you like it, huh?”

“You have no idea… Hey, are you sure you got tired? Cause I think I can do another round.”

As for his arms, as I said, he simply really enjoys that he can man handle you anytime, get you in any position he likes and feel you scratching them from the pleasure.

When it comes to you, Ethan is an ass guy. Say what you want but the man is an ass guy, end of discussion. He loves anything that involves your but. It does not explicitly have to be something like anal. He simply enjoys seeing your butt and holding it in his hand. It does not matter if it’s big or not, if it has stretch marks or whatever. Wear lingerie that he likes or that itty bitty teeny weeny bikini if you wear them or even some tight pants that make your butt just poìp and he can not contain himself.

I think I have said that to someone here (i think I had sent an ask to zodi @ icouldbeyourputtet) before but I feel like this man is very into spanking, like not even the rough malicious way. but this very wholesome chill way.

You had been talking about it all day, not having had a minute alone with each other for days, you could only dream what you could do that night after everyone left.

A playlist was playing in the background and a cigarette was burning on the ashtray next to your legs, you assuming a similar position, as said cigarette, bent over Ethan’s lap as he caressed your ass cheeks and back, playing around with the lingerie set he had gifted you a while back. (Did I just go to search my fave porn vid, lol exposing myself, and get disappointed because I can’t find it and translate it into fanfiction? yes yes i did, so bare with what i can remember)

“It’s okay, baby, you can take a little more, come on,” he praised, leaving a spank and yet another soft rub on the very red cheek.

He continued, going with the music, a very nice pattern, not very rough spanks but just enough to cause pain, pleasure and redness all over. Accidentally the man landed a few very rough ones causing a gasp and a series of giggles as you practically fell off his lap.

“Ethan, what the hell?” You laughed getting up from the floor and this time sitting on the man’s lap, sharing kisses with him.

“What,” he copied your action and laughed, “it was not intentional. I got carried away by how nice your butt is.”

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He is and is not messy. He will not want the cum to be in every surface possible you know, he will be careful but at the same time this man just loves to see his cum on you, whether it’s your back or your stomach, or in you if you’re ok with it. I bet he has a teeny weeny breeding kink but not necessarily because of the idea of breeding you but rather because he looooves seeing his cum run out of you… I'm not sure if this falls in the breeding kink category but alright

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to fuck you while watching porn.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he is pretty experienced. From what they band has said in interviews and stuff, he seems to be getting some pretty often (no one, NO ONE, is surprised at that). He is not acting arrogant tho (not unless that’s the dynamic of the night), he is willing to learn what works for you and you specifically

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

As I said this man is an ass guy so I’d say anything that involves having the view of your ass. Humor me but i think he’d really like 69 with a female/afab partner (don’t know if this works very well with two dick-baring people lol). It has it all, eating you out,

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think it can be both with him. He will not exactly try to make jokes but if something like the previously mentioned spanking incident happens it’s def welcome.

Now as a general rule I see him being pretty serious. I will be honest, I’m getting brat tamer vibes from this man so it’s all pretty serious when you really get into it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Considering he’s an Italian man and if you look at a lot of photos of him he def fit the ‘mediterenean’ man type. I see him just barely grooming. I don’t see him really shaving or whatever but he also wouldn’t want you to choke on pupic hair, he much rathers you choke on his dick

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It all depends, really. He can be quite intimate with you but it all depends on the moment. There are different occasions for everything. For example, and this is a paradox that I hope I’m explaining well enough to understand, he is not very rough (will not be very aggressive and stuff, like to the extreme those tik tok boys want to pretend they are with their * growling * ew) but he will be rough. intimidating looks, spanking just enough to make you feel pain and redden up your ass cheeks. He’s like that mostly when you are being bratty.

Most of the times, like we’re talkin kind of lazy sex moments, it more wholesome ig, like very intimate and just comfortable and almost comforting. Ok, but like why do i see him having sex and having casual conversation (not the most common, i see this as like lazy day off, having nothing else to do and not being like super horny but being more like h o r n y … am i making sense?)

Setting the scene, you two are at home, both have a day off but it’s kind of raining so any of your plans are ruined. At this point it’s at around 10 am, not early, not late. You have missed each other and both have made it obvious but you are both in a very tired state so you opt for something not too much.

Plain and simple missionary is what goes around this time, Ethan on top just holding your legs around his waist,, going at a pretty medium pace.

“It’s a pity the weather is bad today,” says Ethan staring out the window.

“I know, we were going to go to the beach… I’m bummed about it,” you say, short of breath as the man continues his pace fucking you.

“Mhm, true. But this is better, amore, no? I’ve missed you so much,” he breaths out the last part, moans interrupting his words.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does that pretty often, especially if you are not around to help. Sometimes it’s because of you that he needs to. I would def see him exchanging naked pics with you and at first he does that to tease you but he ends up teased when he sees a video you sent of you masturbating.

Bets that he’d be taking photos and vids of you fucking on occasion so he goes to these when he misses you on tour.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As I mentioned previously I see Ethan to be a brat tamer. That I see to be the main kink that kind of works around everything else.

“Can you stop this, slut? It has gotten exhausting. I told you no noise but here you are,” he ordered, looking down at you trembling below his finger tips.

His face was quite stoic, voice never wavering from the strict and cold tone he tended to have when scolding you on the daily. Most times it was leaving a cup out of the sink but this time the scolding came from misbehaving. As if it was not enough that he was punishing you for being a brat and riling him up all morning, now you had to disobey orders. It was getting to him for sure.

“I’m sorry daddy,” you whisper, Ethan seeming satisfied with the response.

“Aw, why so tame puppy, now you decide to be nice?” His tone stayed the same, his words imitating a joke but the whole ordeal was not even close to it.

Now as for other kinks (did I open a site because I could not think? yes, shut up), as a result of being a brat tamer dom there are some few more kinks accompanying specifically that. He is def into bondage, both tying you up but also being tied up on occasion.

“Puppy, I have told you that is not a way to treat me. Untie me,” he says calmly, wrists tied on the headboard of the bed, eyes fixated to you.

“Well, why not? You do it all the time,” you whine, placed on all fours, facing Ethan as you lean towards him on your hands, “I want in on the fun.”

If only he was not tied… Ethan’s mind was already going places, figuring out exactly how he would punish you after you untie him -or after he escapes the restrains, whatever comes first. You knew that, very well - in all honestly that was the plan, that is always the plan.

“Amore, let me go. Let me go and your punishment will be tame,” he voiced looking at you, now positioned on top of his lap, touching yourself right then and there.

“I sense you want to be punished puppy, don't you?” You simply nod your head, eyes closed in pleasure.

“You see, the problem is you will not enjoy what I am thinking.”

“Mhmn.”

“Well, get yourself off now that you can, cause after I get my hands on you… You’re not getting to cum for days, amore.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, anywhere. I can see him having a preference to the luxury of either of your houses or a hotel room but if you push his buttons just right, some restaurant’s bathroom it is.

why can i imagine him having sex at a weeding venue’s bathroom….. omg…..

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Honestly, both. I feel like he would be extremely good at giving it, but would never opposed to receiving

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s ok with them but he doesn’t love them, ya know?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

Is surely try to do new things but it will always depends on what it is.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Come on. This goes without saying. He is a drummer for a living. He can surely go on for long…

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I def feel like he has a fair amount of toys. Some for himself, some for you… He looooves using them to punish you.

(small mention to my last fic little puppet)

“Beautiful, puppy! You have been doing so good for us, taking your punishment so well, but we are not done yet.” A buzz sound is what concerned the girl, eyes widening at the toy.

It was a small remote virator, imitating sucking on the clit. The drummer placed the girl over his knees, stuffing the toy between his leg and her clit, shocking the sensitive bud. “I think you can take a few more spanks,” said the man, landing one at the expanse of her thigh, the skin giggling at the contact.

“Damiano, count,” ordered the assertive man, seeing his friend kneel in front of Y/N, kissing her and then doing as he was told.

“I think we were left on twenty-three. Twenty four,” he began, counting all the way to forty before the ordeal was over.

The whole time Y/N was shaking, just about to fall off the edge, asking for permission to cum but her wishes were not granted just yet. She was exhausted, overstimulated, frustrated, and now unable to move on her own. But, oh man did she need more. The two men were more than willing to assist her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A ton! It’s his specialty. Maybe one of his most common punishments is edging and teasing. He can drag it on for days

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is not very loud but is surely encouraging you to be.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin x reader #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic #måneskin #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio

[woahajimes]

The batfamily but they're going to the beach because i want to go to the beach and i said so

(here’s another beach batfamily headcanon if anyone’s interested)

make it like a 2-hour road trip with like no bat-gear at all have patience with me.

fucking HELL IN THE CAR WITH ROCK PLAYING IN THE BACK oh and it's a normal shitty car with like seventy bags in the back and they're all mushed together in the back (lets make it one of those cars with like three rows because face it there's like 30 of them)

and there's bruce driving and alfred shotgun and then there's like a space in the back for 053453879 bags oh and also harper and cullen because they were late to the car (harper is 1000% the person that packs the same day the trip is you can’t tell me otherwise)

back row there’s only two (three i think actually idk) seats but there’s (in order) steph, jason, duke, cass (and damian is on steph’s lap because bruce said so and damian didn’t fit anywhere else)

front two seats tim is sharing with dick (yup. you guessed it. tim is on dick’s lap because that’s literally how family trips go) on ONE SEAT and babs has the other seat but she’s also like she has 234934853489 bags on top of her

middle of the road jason goes ‘bruce i have to pee’ and everyone groans SO LOUDLY until steph goes ‘me too actually damian you’re squeezing my bladder’ 

so they stop at a gas station and they all literally roll out and everyone is complaining because ‘tim is SO heavy bruce you have NO idea’ and ‘oh my god there is SO much sexual tension between cass and steph b i need you to put me somewhere else’ and ‘why THE HELL cant i go on top of the car’ 

and then jason comes back from the gas station and steph is behind him holding like five bags of chips (the party sizes) and jason goes finger guns and he’s like ‘i paid brucie’ and bruce goes ‘yeah? with what money?’ and jason puts his sunglasses on and goes ‘yours ✨’

steph decides that she’s done with ‘jason’s stinky-ass armpit smell’ and harper says she needs to stretch her long-ass legs and as they open the back door all the bags fall out and harper just hop off happily

and bruce is just so tired of those whiny hoes so he sends tim and steph to the back (where harper and cullen were) and then in the back seats he sends (in order) dick, cass, jason, damian (and harper is on cass’s lap because cass is str0nk) and in the other two seats there’s duke, cullen and then babs in the same seat because she didn’t get out of the car in the first place

BUT DON’T LEAVE YET i have like 50 more headcanons (most based on real-life experiences because road trips are motherfucking insane)

gum in hair, same drill. 

steph is jealous because harper is with cass and not her and tim is bored out of his motherfucking mind and he’s on the phone with cissie

jason is going fucking insane and he’s eating the chips that they had bought (but not the ones he had bought for himself, the ones that tim likes, specifically)

Damian is squished and he hates it 

dick is asleep and he’s leaning on cass

tim and steph fall asleep except it doesn’t look cute they look ridiculous actually because they stretched out a blanket and used the towel bag as a pillow and then tim just used a towel as blanket and it’s a hercules towel 

babs is talking with duke and cullen is the ‘are we there yet’ boy

tim wakes up and he’s looking for his chips and jason only fuckign BURPS and then world war three starts while steph eats her caramel popcorn 

duke is sure that his back is gonna stay curved forever oh and also tim is now in the back seat with jason and they’re still fighting and damian is screaming because he’s even MORE squished now

 harper wakes up and she goes to the back with steph and cass is asleep on dick’s shoulder but dick has ZERO idea because man will sleep like a rock and also he’s snoring

jason is going batshit so he goes to the back and steph goes front and damian is now sprawled on top of dick and cass because there’s no room anywhere

the cops are right behind them so they gotta go stealth mode because nobody is wearing a seatbelt (except bruce and alfred) and the car limit is 7 and there’s like 12 

they cover themselves with like blankets and towels and dick and cass are still asleep so they throw a few bags on damian (who WAS asleep until steph accidentally threw him the bag with the waterbottles)

duke shoves cullen under the seat 

bruce tries to put on his im-just-driving-to-the-beach-with-my-dad-and-my-kids face but everything goes to hell when duke accidentally steps on cullen’s fingers and dick wakes up with cass’s hair in his mouth 

and at this point they were just halfway there

(reference of the car-ish)

#batfamily #dick grayson #nightwing #duke thomas #signal #batgirl #barbara gordon #oracle #spoiler #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #jason todd #bruce wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #cullen row #harper row #tim drake #robin #batkids #batfamily headcanons #batfam #batman #red hood #red robin #robin i #robin ii #robin iii #robin iiv #robin v

[blacktinnedpeaches]

todaaaay

1. really feels like a sunday bc of the easter weekend even tho it doesn’t really make any difference to me or ben b/c he works bank holidays anyway and so do i

2. i finally did another food challenge (more leaves, i ate more than i did last time) bc it’s been like 3 weeks since i did one i think and i feel like ive really stopped moving forward in that way, i feel very like survival mode atm, i dont even feel particularly awful anymore but i just feel like there’s not much room left for actual challenges right now, but i also think that i cant really live like that or im never gonna fix this problem? like you cant only do the challenges when you feel up to it or it’s not really even a challenge :/ but i do feel really unmotivated at the moment + am trying to convince myslf that the actual motivation to change is unimportant: i just have to do the actions and deal w/ the post-challenge misery + hopefully it will take care of itself in the end (???)

so yeah i did eat some leaves with my lunch just now (noodles + quorn w/ loads of vinegar and sweet chili sauce... yam yam)... am considering doing a second unplanned challenge too bc i bought some ratatouille to eat w/ a bagel, and i REALLY love this ratatouille, it is delicious, but there’s a bit of ratatouille on the outside of the packet which is freaking me out and making me think it’s all contaminated inside. the seal seems to be intact still though - if it wasn’t i definitely wouldn’t eat it (and i don’t think that’s crazy tbh) but yeah given that it is still sealed + also is gonna get nuked in the microwave too i guess it might be a sensible thing to eat that too? or at least some of it? what do u all think... shall i eat a bit of the ratatouille that is probably fine but might not be... (unrelated LOOOL.. but i also need to work on being able to trut my own judgement rather than letting people tell me what to do......)

3. site work is going fine in my new role. it’s more difficult + high level than my old tasks but i don’t really mind that - it’s a bit more intellectually stimulating than sending people warnings for saying “fuck off” lmao so i don’t mind it. (even tho i enjoy sending the fuck off warnings tbh!!) the only issue is that the stakes a lot higher if i do fuck up. altho “a lot higher” still is “not very high” dont get me wrong - everyone does inevitably fuck up sometimes, the only thing that actually happens is you get a ping like “this was wrong, ive corrected it”

4. generally i feel better than i have done for the past few weeks but definitely still not back to “normal”, but it’s been so bloody long since i felt particularly good in the medium-long term that i am beginning to wonder if that is even an option at this fucking point

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao sdngsjfhg #this episode fucked me up in more ways than one #i dont even think ill simmer down about it before next weeks episodes either #it was… a lot... to listen & deal with #i care deeply about steven as a character #& see it being canon that he has trauma & ptsd… possible c-ptsd #it fucking breaks my heart #god dammit it crewniverse #i hope you handle this with extreme care #i trust you but still… jesus christ #steven universe #steven universe future #su spoilers #su future spoilers

[tigerdrop]

Hfbbfbhbbbbff stumbles in here. Listen. Uhhhh hl gordo topping the absolute shit out of vr gordos like, fingers shoved in so far in his mouth and Benrey "accidentally" stumbling in to find them and just seeing vr gordos become such a fuckinf mess under hl gordo..... idk it's on the brain now thanks to you and honestly thank you very much

thank you very much for this fantastic idea i took it and ran way too far with it

vr gordon on his knees with a hand in his hair tilting his head back, hl gordon in the HEV suit with 3 fingers fucking his mouth so you know he got those gloves on, just looking him right in the eyes while he does it, vr gordons got his hands wrapped around hl gordons forearm and his thighs spread wide, hes fuckin droolin and flushed and moaning around hl gordons fingers

and then benrey walks in and vr gordon Flips and is like "mpphh mhmhpph" trying to get those fingers out of his mouth and be Normal but hl gordon just grabs his hair tighter and plunges them in deeper and turns to stare right at benrey. doesnt say anything. just gives him an intense, totally unreadable look

gordon getting cucked by hl gordon and not letting himself join in b/c he is emotionally and sexually repressed as all hell is great. but i think it would be really fucking good if hl gordon wordlessly invites benrey to join in. just jerks his head to the side like "get over here"

well, first benrey just stands there, eyes wide and surprised as all hell while vr gordon slaps at hl gordons arm until he takes those fingers out of his mouth. then he starts bitching like "fucking-- go away, benrey, wait a fucking minute here--" until hl gordon leans down and whispers something in his ear that benrey cant make out. but whatever it is, it has an Effect on vr gordon thats kind of like watching a glass of water be poured over his head - his mouth snaps shut, and his face turns a dark, dark red, and he swallows hard as he looks back at benrey. and then back to hl gordon. and then he says, real quiet, "uh. okay"

and then benrey gets another Look from hl gordon and hes like "uhhh. cool. yeah. this is cool" and steps into their circle like his legs are on autopilot cuz hes still like what is even going on, never fuckin seen freeman like that before, this is craaaazy ha ha

(like, okay, in this scenario hl gordon already fuckin knows that vr gordon is into benrey and hes just being a little emotionally-constipated bitch about it. thats the whole reason he nodded at benrey to let him join in anyway. so what hl gordon is whispering into his ear is something along the lines of, like, this is what he wanted to do anyway, right? hl gordon already knows. so why dont u be good for the both of them, gordon?)

then before he knows it, hes standing in front of vr gordon on his knees and casting a shadow over him and vr gordon is so fucking embarrassed right now. but, like, hl gordon wasnt wrong, and he really, really wants to be good for him. (and, you know, for benrey, but if he admits that to himself he might actually fucking die.) hes sweating as he looks up at the both of them, like, "uh, okay, hey. uh. what am i supposed to--"

hl gordon interrupts him by making a fucking obscene motion with his (still spit-slick) fingers, indicating that benrey should do what hl gordon was just doing a second ago. (please note: hes still got his other hand in vr gordons hair.) and benrey looks between the two of them with his hand raised halfway into the air, like, yo, is this cool? is this actually happening? hl gordon gestures at him like, go ahead, bro. and when his hand approaches vr gordons mouth and his fingers alight on his lip, that mouth parts just enough to let him in, even if vr gordons having a really goddamn hard time meeting his eyes.

and benrey slowly starts feelin him from the inside, feeling the slick surface of his tongue and teeth while hl gordon gives benrey encouraging gestures and shows him how best to do it. how to get vr gordon to whimper and drool around his fingers just like he was doing earlier. not that vr gordon needs much help getting there - the humiliation of copping to his feelings like this, on his knees and fellating his frenemys hand, combined with hl gordons fingers gently stroking and scratching his scalp and stroking his ear and jaw as if to say, youre doing good, is getting him 12 different kinds of Fucked Up. hes still too embarrassed by all this to really get back into Whoredon Freeman mode so easily, but the embarrassment is.......really fucking cute. its doing it for benrey. and soon enough, hes got 3 fingers in gordons mouth and is feeling those low noises gordons making just as much as hes hearing them

i just......i think hl gordon is neat......hes just......a really quiet guy that projects this air of almost total confidence just by virtue of not speaking that much (and therefore, never sticking his fucking foot in it) and talking with his hands comes a lot easier than speaking aloud.......and hes a nice guy who doesnt have a problem showing it when its necessary/appropriate but he doesnt abide bullshit b/c bullshit gets people killed, which vr gordon unfortunately has in spades........literally all just fucking made-up personality traits but i just see it very clearly in my head

in my mind he is the polar opposite of vr gordon. like. vr gordon is so desperate to maintain control over his peers and his environment and he mostly just......yells ineffectually and runs around like a big loud rooster trying to peck everybody into place. and clearly that shit dont work out too well for him. so in comparison hl gordon is just......effortlessly confident in what he does and how he acts and people are just naturally inclined to listen to him/take him seriously. or at least he appears that way on the outside - i imagine the guy still has some self esteem issues, both about himself as a person and in his own abilities to Do What Needs To Be Done. just.......being so quiet all the time projects that air

i also imagine that like......his smiles are a bit of a rare thing, too. especially for vr gordon, who spends most of the time rubbing him the wrong way. so when vr gordon does earn one of those smiles, or a thumbs up, or basically any kind of positive attention, it hits extra hard

still thinking about. hl gordon basically......teaching benrey how to fuck vr gordon. in so many words. starting with the fingers.....hes also quietly being encouraging towards benrey, too, communicating that hes doing good at this. (is hl gordon domming both of them at the same fucking time?? youre goddamn right he is.) and benreys tenting the absolute hell out of his slacks by the time hes got vr gordons hand wrapped around his wrist to keep him there, and by the time gordons whining around his fingers and spreading his legs open wider instinctually and jerking his hips a little against the arm hes got shoved down between em for just a little friction

and then hl gordon stops benrey and makes another obscene motion and-- oh. yeah, benrey would like to take care of his boner issue like that, thank you. benreys a little dumbfounded, like, "yo, uhhh, you really wanna suck my dick? friend?" and vr gordons like "oh my god, you didnt have to say it out loud! jesus fucking christ, do not say anything-- not another fucking word--" but hes cut off by hl gordons hand tugging his hair hard enough to make him hiss. "okay, okay, jeez!"

vr gordon shimmies closer and looks up at him, still red, still sweating, drool running down the corner of his mouth and trailing in a translucent string from benreys fingers. still embarrassed. but daring benrey to do as he was told. so benrey unzips himself with shaking fingers and pulls out his dick. hes fully hard already and hl gordons there to guide the both of them how to do it - takes vr gordons hand and curls it into a fist with his thumb tucked inside, guides vr gordons head with the hand still in his hair. pushes him onto benreys dick. and theres something decidedly fucking weird about hl gordons role in this, but hes clearly getting off on it, and so are the rest of them, so theres not a lot of room left for any of them to worry about it

i cannot rightfully allow myself to keep fucking writing this when i still havent finished writing gordon freeman coming untouched but im just fucking frothing thinking about hl gordon showing benrey exactly how to push vr gordons buttons. shows him how to finger vr gordon, which angle he should push gordons legs back to so he can hit just the right spot, guides him to take just the right pace and shows him how gordon likes his hair to be pulled

and benreys so obedient! its a marked difference from how much shit he gives vr gordon at any attempt to control him. vr gordons honestly a little miffed about it, but on the other hand, hl gordon is really good at jerking him around and getting him off and hes a very good teacher. he cant complain

Anyway. See Ya

#asky #writin stuff

[supergirl-fanfiction]

I Can’t Lose You

Alex Danvers x Reader

Not a Request 

You are Alex's wife and a DEO Agent. You and your team had been sent on a mission that was suppose to be an easy in easy out type of thing. You were ambushed though and you and some of your team ended up severely injured.

(Y/N)- Your Name

(L/N)- Last Name

Warnings- Angst, Mentions of Death and Blood

You and your team were getting suited up for your mission. It was another easy in easy out. You just had to get some information about some rumors that had been going around. You knew there was going to be some type of security but from what you could tell it was just a handful of security guards. Nothing that you and your team wouldn't be able to handle. You had just finished checking yourself over to make sure you had everything when Alex walked over to you.

"You better not slack off out there Agent (L/N)." She teased you. A slight chuckle escaped your lips. You pretended to be wounded by what she had said.

"I would never. I am very serious all the time." You had barely managed to say that with a straight face. Alex laughed and shook her head at you.

"Just be careful out there alright. I know you have done a million missions just like this one, but keep your guard up." She leaned in and gave you a soft chaste kiss. "Remember we have a date tonight and you cant go if you end up doing something reckless and end up in the infirmary like last time." You blushed and looked away from her. Last time hadn't been your fault. It had been a simple mistake honestly.

"Yea yea yea. I know. Besides I wouldn't miss this date for anything. It's extremely special." You said as you smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "Happy 1 year anniversary of married life Danvers." You heard your teammates making fun of you for being soft with your wife. You just shook your head at their antics.

"I got to go now. I promise I'll be safe and make it back in time for our date." You said before quickly heading over to your team and heading out. Alex chuckled as she watched you leave. She felt extremely lucky to have met you. She let herself enjoy the memories of you and her for a brief moment before going into Director Danvers mode.

_____

You and your team had easily made your way through the building. There was a little bit more security than you had originally thought, but it wasn't anything you and your team couldn't handle. You had gotten the information you needed but that was when things began to go horribly wrong. All of a sudden there was a flood of CADMUS Agents. None of you had any idea where they had come from. It had been an ambush and they had waited for the perfect moment to strike. You and your team were trapped. The only way out was going through the CADMUS Agents and that was a death wish if you had ever heard of one. They outnumbered you 10 to 1. You looked around at the Agents with you. You considered them friends and family. You knew what you had to do and by the looks in their eyes they knew what you were planning on doing. You quickly had Winn patch you through to Alex through your ear pieces.

"Alex, I might need a rain check on that date." You peeked around the corner to they and see where all the CADMUS Agents were hiding. You quickly ducked back when they began to fire at you though. Alex heard the sound of bullets and began to panic.

"(Y/N) what is going on?" You could hear the slight panic in her voice that she had tried to disguise.

"Well it turns out that this might have been a trap. CADMUS Agents ambushed us. We are kind of trapped right now. Just thought you should know that we are going to have to out a hold on the date tonight." You tried to stay calm knowing that you were about to give your life to try and save your fellow agents.

"(Y/N) don't you fucking dare. I have back up headed your way right now. ETA is 45 minutes." She was no longer trying to conceal the panic. You felt tears begin to flood your eyes. There was no way your team would be able to hold your position for 45 minutes. The CADMUS Agents were closing in on you and your team.

"I love you Alex never forget that alright. You have made these past years of my life from the day I met you to the day when we finally got married the best years of my life." You could feel yourself getting chocked up. You were trying to be strong for her and your team.

"You promised (Y/N). Please please please dont break your promise please. I need you and I just... you just need to hold your position for a little bit longer alright." Alex begged you. It broke your heart to hear her so panicked and distraught.

"Thank you for being the best girlfriend and wife that a person could hope for Alex. I love your forever and always." You quickly cut off contact with her after saying that. You couldn't stand hearing her beg you. It was causing cracks in your heart. You turned back to your team and you could see the pain in their eyes. You were their family and they knew what you were about to do. You couldn't risk them ending up more injured than they already were though. You were the team leader and it was your job to keep them safe. The back up should arrive in time for them to rescue and save your team mates.

"Thank you for being the best team and the best family an Agent could hope to have. When you see Alex tell her that I'm sorry and that I'm gonna take a rain check on our date.

_____

Alex started screaming into her ear piece but she could no longer hear you.

"(Y/N)! Agent (L/N)! Answer! This is an order! GOD DAMMIT (Y/N)! ANSWER ME!" Alex began to break down. Everyone around her stared in shock. They had never seen her like this before.

"Winn get Supergirl on route to their location now!" Alex screamed the panic and fear clear in her voice. Winn immediately got into contact with Kara and when Winn explained what he knew about the situation Kara shoot off on her way to where you were.

"She's on her way Alex. She will make it in time. She will save them." Winn tried to reassure Alex but she was inconsolable. All the other Agents watched their Director break down. The pain in their eyes clear as they knew if she lost you she would never be the same. Neither would they. You had made friends with nearly everyone at the DEO. They all considered you family and knowing that they may lose not only you but also their director caused pain in all of their hearts.

_____

You had no idea that Kara was on her way. All you knew was that you needed to do this to save your team. You rolled out from behind your hiding space and began to fire at every single agent you could see. In the beginning it seemed like you might actually be able to escape from this without any life threatening injuries. You had always had perfect aim. Every bullet landing perfectly between the CADMUS Agents eyes. You kept trying to duck and hide between anything and everything you could. You had managed to advance on them slightly and had taken out 12 of them before you felt the first bullet pierce your skin. You quickly dropped down behind the container you had been using as shelter. After that you became sloppy. You were losing blood too quickly and it was making you lightheaded and dizzy. You began to feel multiple bullets pierce your skin. You were littered with bullet holes. You honestly had no idea how many times you had been shot but you knew the amount of blood you had lost wasn't good. You had managed to take out enough of the CADMUS Agents to Gove your team a fighting chance until backup could arrive. You stayed ducked behind the container with your back against it. You began to cough and you could taste the blood in your mouth. You made brief eye contact with your team and gave them a small shaky smile. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You had closed your eyes and began to feel yourself when you heard shouts of fear from the CADMUS Agents and shouts of hope from your team.

"Where are they? Wheres (Y/N)?" You heard someone who's voice sounded familiar ask with panic and fear in their voice. All of your Agents were crowded around you. You guess they had come to you when whoever had arrived took out the rest of the CADMUS Agents.

"Right here Supergirl. They need immediate medical attention." You heard one of your agents, Serena you think, say. Kara felt her heart drop out of her stomach as she saw the shape you were in. If it wasn't for here super-hearing she would have thought you were dead.

"We will be ok. We can wait for backup but they won't make it waiting that long." Kara nodded her head before picking you up as gently as she could and taking off. You ended up passing out on the flight to the DEO.

_____

You groaned quietly as you began to feel yourself wake up. You opened your eyes and immediately regretted it when all you saw was bright white lights. You immediately shut your eyes. You began to try and figure out exactly where you were and what had happened. You felt a weight on your hand and slowly opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the light before looking at where the weight was coming from. Your heart ached at the sight that greeted you. Alex had your hand in a death grip in her sleep. She had her head laying on your arm and you could see the dried tear stains on her face. You began to lift up your other hand to run your fingers through her hair but winced and whimpered out at the pain it caused you. It seemed that was enough to wake up Alex. She looked confused for a brief moment before her eyes met yours and then the tears began to flow.

"Do you have any idea how close I came to losing you today. Your heart stopped so many times the doctors almost stopped trying to revive you. You lost so much blood its a miracle that you are even here right now. The doctors said that there is no logical explanation for how you are alive." You felt your heart break as she began to completely break down. You comforted her as best as you could but every tiny movement hurt and you were hooked up to a shit ton of wires.

"I'm sorry. I know that doesn't fix anything but I am truly sorry Alex." You rasped out. You felt the tears begin to fall down your face. Alex shook her head before she leaned towards you. You could barely feel her lips against yours and then she was leaning back.

"I know that this work is dangerous. I also know why you did what you did. But (Y/N) I cant lose you. I wouldn't be able to survive losing you. I know that sounds dramatic and it may seem like I'm over exaggerating but I'm not. I wouldn't be able to make it in this world without you by my side." You felt ashamed of yourself. You should've thought through your plan more. You should've known that she would send Supergirl your way. If you had just waited a little bit longer you would've been ok. You grinned your teeth as you felt pissed at yourself.

"I'm sorry Alex. I should've waited and talked to you about a better plan of action. I promise from now on I will be as safe as someone can possibly be and yes I know that I won't be going back out into the field again. Not after the injuries I sustained from this last mission. I know I won't be able to pass the physical exam or possibly even the mental exam. I don't even care about that though. All I care about is you. Making sure that I am never the cause of your pain again. I love you Alex and I'm so sorry." Alex gave you a small watery smile and you returned it with one of your own. You knew that not only you but also Alex had a long road of recovery ahead of the both of you. At the moment though it didn't mattered. All that mattered was that you had been given another chance and you weren't going to waste it.

#alex danvers #alex danvers x reader #angst #slight fluff #Happy Ending #supergirl #supergirl fanfiction #Chyler Leigh #gender neutral reader #x reader #x reader fanfiction

[mothpile]

"dont get me started on the other ones" 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

ok i Was goingto go off but then i remembered i think i’ve just said them All on twitter n stuff . so .    it would get repetitive . but ummmmmmmm ok

- the moment the day ends everyone is just all chill. all the scps stop being all evil n stuff bcoz they r like “oh work’s done.” and just vibe. this is why you (the manager) dont have 2 Deal with them still being out the next day. 

- on that note, afterhours usually consists of ppl just chillin. there is activities employees can do 2gether, like book club or smthing (in blue star’s lore there is a note about how these things r Encouraged n stuff SOOOOOO) . abnormalities will join in sometimes . . .

- in fact abnormalities have their own lil groups n stuff . gun trio etc etc .. after hours they hang out . they can have their Own Clubs n stuff  .  yay <3

- also want to say i hc funeral as a dumbass but dumbass in the way like “what kind of animal is pink panther” stuff like that .  i think thats fuuuunny even tho his lore is all Serious n Somber .      der frei is also a dumbass but he’s more quiet so he doesnt speak out n Reveal this as much . red has a braincell but she’ll often ignore it bcoz Attack Kill Violence. 

- speaking of red n having a brain cell, i like to imagine she’s actually like . Good with kids (laetitia, galaxy kid, etc) . kids look up to her coz she looks Soo cool and will basically listen to anything she says. if an employee tells them you shouldnt run with scissors? um cringe lol who would listen to them. oh wait shit red is telling u not to do that? oh fuck u should listen to her she is So smart n cool . 

- unfortunately bcoz all the kids think red is cool they will alwaaaays try 2 hang out with her n stuff but this is sucks for her bcoz she is trying So hard 2 be nothing but angry n stuff. “no shoo shoo go away i need to shift into violence mode stoppppppp awit wait no dont run with scissors . dont do that. you’ll only have one eye like me and then you won’t have depth perception and it sucks i keep getting fucked up thanks to it u better not lose ur eye like that.”

- ...... she also swears around kids bcoz she just rlly Doesnt care.   this makes kids think she’s even Cooler bcoz OOOOOOOO she said the BASTARD WORD.... (laetitia: wow she said the bastard word thats a Swear wow . galaxy kid: what does that even mean. laetitia: idk i was hoping u’d know) 

ok under the cut is ones u cant look at now bcoz u dont know the character ^_^ bcoz u havent met her in game <3

- queen of hatred n red meet up once when they r both suppressing an abno one day . red is left fucking speechless when she sees her bcoz “HUH ???????? HUH ????????????????????? WHAT THEFUCK IS THIS ???????????? HUH ??????????????? ANIME? HUH WUH????????” . 

- ever since then, QoH has just put red as her Sidekick / best friend bcoz Ofc ! usually heros will have their dark backstory bestie who warms up to them and stuff ^_^!

- red gets a crush on her but doenst understand bcoz “hm when she calls me her friend i feel weird about it. “  she brings this up to her trio . funeral has 2 be the one to say like “. wait so u dont Hate her or even dislike her but ur saying u ‘feel weird’ when she calls u her friend and is nice to u . um . red . i think ur gay” and red just immediately goes “. WHAT . “ . 

- red: i know how to deal with this *leaves a note at QoH’s cell that says “GET OUT OF MY FACILITY.”.

- QoH also likes red like that but she’s also just all “oh no this is Totally the Normal Way you should be feeling about your friends! it’s normal to like them romantically . right ?” and her pals (king of greed and knight of despair (who r lesbians bcoz u know what ??? i can just say that. and also think of soooo much oh my god it could b so deep but i cant explain it SORRY </3) anyways they go “ . queen ur gay” n She has her anime esk moment “omg !!!!!!! ive fallen for my bestie O//O” .

-anwyays this is Lesbians inside the facility . <3 

#moth response #is this Enough r u happy now <3 #onehithero

[cyl2-moved]

alright so i didn’t really agree with what tier lists were saying about certain fgo servants so i made my own one ! you’re welcome to disagree, of course, but this is what i think should make up the fgo five star tier list

S: makes any team better, 100% desirable, meta breaking

A: well built and capable of carrying a team

B: good team addition and plays well/good for one specific purpose

C: ok tier, they’re just fine tbh, deservant of 5 star status but on thin ice

D: straight up should’ve been a 4 star

EX: servants that i’ve heard of only in legend

*note: this is for the na server as of january 2019, i could honestly give less of a shit about jp

**note: berserkers gain a bit of fluidity because their one purpose is to kill and any zerk that can do that is good (< that’s all zerks btw)

***note: all 5 stars are worth levelling up, they’re all really good. don’t burn them please

****note: i don’t claim to know everything about fgo, this list isn’t the gospel

S TIER:

MERLIN (caster): ok y’all saw this one coming but basically merlin is fucking amazing. he can really fit on any team set up he wants to and he’s a prime example of what a good caster should be. i don’t think i need to explain this entry. moving on.

JEANNE D’ARC ALTER (avenger): jalter is probably the best buster based servant you can summon in the na server right now and was a complete powerhouse until merlin showed up. if you want a reliable servant that can do just about anything without fail i suggest her if you ever get lucky enough to summon her

FIRST HASSAN (assassin): normally gramps isn’t listed with these two, but if you’ve ever used him chances are you can atleast somewhat see where i’m coming from here. this man is a BEAST, his singularity track record should be proof of that (y’know, because he stole the show in a whole ass two of them). he can’t fit into any team like the first two but he can destroy like nobody’s fucking business. summon him if you get the chance

A TIER:

MIYAMOTO MUSASHI (saber): musashi is a saber focused in single target buster damage, and her skills and np allow her to go above with this focus. at the moment i’d say she’s probably the best saber available because her np, skills, and deck match so well. \

NERO BRIDE (saber): i forgot her and i’m only just now adding her in so whoops but basically she’s one of the only arts sabers that’s actually good and has a good and spammable np.

GILGAMESH (archer): he’s an anti army buster focus who has a noble phantasm that only six servants in the game so far aren’t weak to. he’s kind of a lancer pincushion but just don’t send him out into battles with lancers. there you go.

ISHTAR (archer): ishtar doesn’t have the same np effect as gil but other than that she’s a fairly good replacement for him, not to mention she has a slightly higher hp value than him

BRYNHILDR (lancer): brynhildr would probably be lower on this list if it weren’t for her sparse availability and trait that affects most male and some female servants in the game. she’s probably the best lancer in the game because of those two reasons, but all lancers are safe bets tbh

OZYMANDIAS (rider): ozymandias is amazing at spamming buster cards and has a particularly great np, great for boss battles. also he’s hot

QUETZALCOATL (rider): basically the same as ozy here except with a more specifically buster deck. also she’s hot

ZHUGE LIANG (caster): a lot of people categorize him with merlin and to those people i have to ask: have you ever played this game? waver comes close, but don’t act like people didn’t throw him to the side the exact moment merlin came out. open your eyes you absolute fools

XUANZANG SANZANG (caster): this one has a twinge of personal bias but seeing as she’s a caster but has the highest atk of all of my servants atm. also she’s hot, but she’s one of the only casters in the game right now that’s somewhat buster based and can make a buster brave chain which her np (which is kinda rare for casters). she can fit into really any team composition without too much issue and has a rather high survivability rate

JACK THE RIPPER (assassin): contrary to brynhildr, jack got higher on this list almost specifically because of her availability. she’s a really good assassin that’s rather easy to get (well, considering she’s a five star). the one bane i can think of is that she’s not very team compatible, but she’ll do just fine regardless. get her going with quick chains and she will absolutely obliterate

CU CHULAINN ALTER (berserker): just wanna start out by saying he’s still one of the most powerful berserkers in the jp server. AND he’s easily available. do i really fucking have to say anything else? (protection from arrows lol)

MINAMOTO NO RAIKOU (berserker): mom’s deck is set up a bit differently from other berserkers’, having more arts and quick card than most of them. does that stop her from utterly obliterating everything in her path? nope, not at all, in fact, it only helps. her quick and arts card charge her buster np, which is a wave clear that RAINS crit stars, that only help her kill more later. conclusion: she’s an absolute goddess

JEANNE D’ARC (ruler): jeanne d’arc only really made it to this part of the list because you can get her really easily and she’s absolutely amazing on arts stall teams. as well and good as this is, though, she only really reaches her good points in her final ascension and is kind of hard to use before this. i wouldn’t suggest using her if you’re a starter player, heads up

B TIER:

OKITA SOUJI (saber): okita was placed lower on this list than i’d like her to be but because of her quick based status i kinda had to. there’s going to be a lot of this going on especially later in the list, but quick servants don’t see the light of day until skadi comes around, which is going to be mid 2020 for us na players unless fgo gets destroyed before then. the only servant that really got away with the quick niche was jack because she’s self sustaining if she needs to be, but okita’s deck doesn’t really let her do that. despite this, okita’s still amazing, and i highly suggest rolling for her

ARTORIA ARCHER (archer): summer artoria serves as an amazing arts archer that does wonders with her single target arts np that brings up her np gauge up almost immediately after it’s done, meaning you can spam her np whenever. she’s pretty great for arts team and not very versatile elsewhere, but you’re in for a treat when you use her

SCATHACH (lancer): OF COURSE scathach was going to be fairly high on this list, she’s one of the best lancers to date. her quick deck brought her down a bit here, but she’s a reliable servant that can fit into any team composition with little issue and has a powerful np. what else could you want

ARTORIA LANCER (lancer): honestly lartoria is high on the list for flexing and little else, but she serves as a powerful buster servant that has a pretty good wave clear np. the rest of the reason she’s up here is personal bias and i’m not scared to admit that, also she’s on a horse

TAMAMO LANCER (lancer): lanmamo is a kinda surprising servant tbh, she doubles in buster and quick and does amazing in both and has an especially high hp stat, something i wouldn’t expect from a quick/buster decked servant. honestly, you really can’t go wrong with summer servants tbh, they’re all really good

QUEEN MEDB (rider): i’m SICK of people shitting on medb. she’s fucking great. she’s a buster main that’s a crit star sponge and has a fairly good single target np. bring her into a caster boss battle and she will fuck the life out of the opponent, i guarantee it

TAMAMO NO MAE (caster): mikon is an amazing caster who sadly doesn’t really hold up to those in the higher tiers, but has skills that work great for any team and is practically the god of any arts stall team you ever might think of making. also she’s hot

LEONARDO DA VINCI (caster): da vinci doesn’t really hold up to tamamo, but i still think she deserves a spot in this tier. she has a pretty varied deck that can fit in with really any team and has a pretty powerful wave clear np. she’s a great caster, no doubt, but in a point in time when this game is practically dominated by merlin, she really doesn’t hold up as much as the others

CLEOPATRA (assassin): cleo is an exceptionally good buster based assassin with an anti army np which is really effective. she makes for a fairly good farming servant and can hold out for a while in boss battles as well

SAKATA KINTOKI (berserker): sakata has gotten strangely a bad rep from the fandom but is overhyped by the game, which is weird to me, but whatever. he’s probably the most powerful berserker atk wise, but can only really survive for three turns before dying no matter what you do. as far as servants go, he’s not as good as the game hypes him up to be and he’s not as bad as the fanbase makes him out to be.

AMAKUSA SHIROU (ruler): amakusa really only got up here because he’s one of the only four extra class five stars in the game right now, and as a servant he’s okay. he’d be a lot worse if he were a normal unit that had a class disadvantage that was common, but since he’s practically untouchable as a ruler he gets a spot up here

C TIER:

ARTORIA (saber): artoria has a rather bad reputation among tier lists because of her basic deck, basic np, shit skills … but her blandness only makes her increasingly compatible with other team setups. you can really stick her anywhere and she’ll do fine, and if she’s set up right she can become a really good servant. y’all are just lazy and mean

MORDRED (saber): mordred got kind of the same treatment as her dad but with more buster and slightly better skills, so if this tier list had a lot more specific tiers mordred would probably be above her. however, this isn’t, i’m too lazy for that. mordred is really just a slightly more atk based artoria

ARJUNA (archer): arjuna’s good, no doubt, but his competition out of the five star archer pool is hard to match up with. he’s definitely the best archer in the story mode gacha, but as an arts archer that can’t spam his np as artoria archer, he’s a bit dead in the water

ORION (archer): orion has the same problems as arjuna but with an added fuck you because of that extra quick card. if you have her i hope you have fun beating the absolute shit out of gawain

KARNA (lancer): karna’s an amazing buster servant, but the lancer pool is just really fucking good. he excels in buster but got that quick fuck you just like orion. i don’t really have much to say tbh, he’s good

ENKIDU (lancer): enkidu excels in quicks and didn’t pussy out like orion and karna, and if this were the non-merlin era he’d be higher on this list. sadly, since arts is dominating, he’ll have to wait a bit, but soon ...

FRANCIS DRAKE (rider): i really like francis, i do, but compared to the other riders she’s really just a farming servant. she can be a good main rider if you really want her to be but her np is almost made for farming. her np is the exact example of a farming np. next

ILLYA VON EINZBERN (caster): news flash but she’s not really as good as everyone hyped her up to be. she has a bit of a confusing deck (why does she have one buster card but a buster np!?!) and no clear niche so like … is her fame only because of that anime she’s in or what. chloe’s better

SHUTEN DOUJI (assassin): shuten has an arts based deck that doesn’t really fit her as an assassin and doesn’t have a very powerful np but otherwise is a good and reliable servant. She can just about survive anything and has been the cause of many of my clutches. thanks shuten

VLAD III (berserker): vlad excels in arts teams and is an amazing arts unit, but he would’ve shined if he was released later. because he was the first five star berserker released and non limited (unlike sakata) he defied a standard for berserkers before berserker standards were even set, and it didn’t come out well

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE (berserker): florence honestly would’ve been better if she wasn’t released at the same time as cu alter, who’s a goddamn beast, and if her concept wasn’t so mismatched. her deck and skillset is kinda weirdly put together and doesn’t flow as well as raikou’s. she’s wasted potential, really.

D TIER:

ALTERA (saber): honestly i think people hype up altera too much, she’s good but could easily be replaced by a four star imo. at her best she’s just an artoria remake sorry

NIKOLA TESLA (archer): his deck and skill set and np are fine? he just really doesn’t have a proper use. he fits into any team but in a way in which that team has to kinda carry him and he’s ugly. that’s all

MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X (assassin): mhx is a good assassin, especially since there are only a few you can really choose from, but she’s more of a trophy than anything. it’s cool to have her, and again, she’s fine, but she doesn’t really match up to the other assassins in the game, especially jack, who’s more easily accessible and self sufficient. also it doesn’t make sense why she’s an assassin if she’s a saber killer (just be an archer!!!!) but w/e

EDMOND DANTES (avenger): let me explain first. please. ok, so edmond is good by most standards, especially because he’s an extra class which means he’s basically untouchable by most everyone except for bb when she rears her ugly head in may. but what sucks about him is that he was released as sort of a avengers test before jalter? idk how to really explain it, but he’s significantly worse than jalter because they wanted to see how an avenger would hold up. not only does he not hold up to the only servant in his class by a long shot, he has the quick curse and looks exactly the fuck like komaeda. he really took that l

EX TIER:

RYOUJI SHIKI (saber): fgo seems to really like her but the fanbase seems to think she;s ok at best but i’ve never seen her ever in supports in my nine months of playing this game. does she even really exist? idk. her character desc says you’re likely to never see her and i’m starting to think that’s true

ISKANDER (rider): alright i KNOW you exist and everyone loves you but i’ve never seen you either. what the ufck. where are you

anyways that’s it this took way longer than it should’ve i’m going to bed

#fgo #fate grand order #long post #sorry mobile users :(

[curlyshepards]

LITERALLY i want all of them for curly shepard

IM SORRY TO THE MOBILE USERS WHO THIS WILL NOT APPEAR UNDER A READ MORE FOR

What does their bedroom look like?

idk why i’m such a firm believer of this BUT: tim and curly share a room, so typically half of it is clean and the other half (curly’s half) is a fucking mess all the time

Do they have any daily rituals?

every day for lunch at school him & his friends just go under the bleachers and drink. unfortunately curly has no limits so when lunch is over he usually just ends up ditching the rest of the day to go continue drinking somewhere else

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

he doesn’t make a conscience effort to exercise, but he walks basically everywhere when tim has the car. so he’s in pretty good shape bc of that & bc of fighting

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

curly has never made dinner a day in his life and will never make an attempt to nor does anyone want him to. if theres nothing already made at the house he’ll either just go without or go to the diner

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

he’s a generally messy person, but he takes pride in his looks so he takes care of himself. he’s always clean shaven and smells really good. his room, however, is a disaster scene

Eating habits and sample daily menu

usually not awake for breakfast, and for lunch he’ll scrap up whatever he can find in his house (probably ends up being a sandwich or cereal) and for dinner he’ll follow tim somewhere and make him buy him dinner. he loves eating at the diner and never underestimate his ability to eat breakfast meals at 11 o clock at night

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

his sole reason for going to school is to waste time (thats what he tells everyone at least but its rlly because tim will not let him drop out) but if hes not in school then he’s probably just walking around his neighborhood w/ his friends or hanging out at the strip trynna start fights

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

dont.....really know what this means. all im thinkin about is that chocolate stuff. but he likes chocolate so lets go with that. he could eat 50 kit kats in a row, probably

Makeup?

makeup sex? absolutely. he’ll start a fight with his boo just for the sex

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

i honestly dont see him having a mental illness

Intellectual pursuits?

intellectual isn’t really his thing. BUT  i can see him really liking labs and stuff

Favorite book genre?

he hATES reading, but mostly because he’‘s dyslexic and he was brought up thinking that he was dumb bc he had trouble reading. ponyboy is the one that ends up helping him, though, and sometimes he’ll read to curly (action books bc they’re the only ones that’ll keep curly’s attention. there are numerous times he regrets the decision bc curly cant keep quiet for more than a few minutes.)

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

(i can already see the purly supporters @’ing me yikes) but PERSONALLY i think he’s straight. idk what this means by thoughts on s.o. in general but im bisexual ??? idc about sexual orientation ??

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

he’s got a lot of scars, mostly on his knuckles but a few up and down his arms. he’s deathly allergic to seafood but doesn’t care bc it looks gross to him anyway.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

biggest: honestly just making it through another day is an achievement to him

smallest: he swears that one day he will beat sodapop curtis in a drag race

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

biggest: being as respected as tim is when he’s older

smallest: he will own a puppy at some point

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

white t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and if its not too hot then a leather jacket. he hates jean jackets tho and WILL make fun of anyone who wears them

Favorite beverage?

beer. but also pepsi. hes weird.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

we’re about to get deep. on good nights he just thinks about his day. there’s never a boring time with him, so he’s always got a lot to think about. he could be thinking about a girl he’s met or just hooked up with, or about what his friends got into. on bad nights though, he thinks about his dad and how he never got to know him. he thinks about how maybe he’ll never be like tim, and he’ll never be the brother that angie falls back on (that doesn’t bother him as much as it should, but it still pops into his mind) the number one thing that keeps him awake is never amounting to the shepard name

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

just stupidity. he broke a lot of bones, needed a lot of stitches, and was bed bound too many times to count. there was one incident that tim loves to tell: the first time curly got into a fight. the guy was two times bigger than curly, but he didn’t care. the fight was done in 5 minutes, and curly had his first broken nose

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: i can see him really liking outgoing girls/ girls that are upfront. also neck kisses, collarbone kisses, hair pulling, back scratching

turn offs: daddy kink (seriously, its gross, stop forcing this on my son. he already has enough daddy issues) but nothing else really he will do basically anything

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

either a very crude & poorly done drawing or a sign that says “curly is the hottest shepard”

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

he is NOT. it doesnt really bother him that hes disorganized, but it drives tim up the wall. he’s always getting onto curly for being a slob

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

he doesn’t really care, but since he’s forced to go to school he might as well enjoy something, which ends up being the labs in science. he likes the dissections, mostly, but he thinks looking into the microscopes are cool too (mostly bc him and his friends make shapes out of the slides)

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

alive, hopefully

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

he kinda just takes it day by day and doesnt care about the future. hes a strong believer that things will fall into place if theyre supposed to happen

What is their biggest regret?

probably being too emotional and not toughening up enough when he was younger

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

SO this is an OC but his best friend is a guy in the gang named brian. his worst enemy is also in the gang and his name is jimmy and he fucking hates that kid.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

he’s probably the one that caused the disaster, so he immediately tries to fix it on his own. which usually works, but it leaves a mess behind that he’ll attempt (and fail) to cover up. a few hours later he’ll get chewed out by tim.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

so lets say tim dies. tim is the only person that curly is really close to, because if there’s one thing that he learned from his brother it’s to never let anyone too close. but he always thought that tim would be there for him so he worshipped him. but ANYWAY tim dies and curly shuts down. i can honestly see him losing it bc tim was all curly ever knew, he was always there to fix the mess curly got himself in and now he’s just kinda alone in the world. he’d still have the gang, but they’d remind him too much of his brother, so he’d eventually cut ties with them. it’d take a major, new person to bring him out of his stump, and thats if he ever really brings himself back to normal

Most prized possession?

the hand-me-down leather jacket tim gave him

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

doesnt really care about them bc he doesnt have a lot. he likes the things with meaning, but couldnt care less about expensive & nice things

Concept of home and family?

hes VERY family oriented and a huge mama’s boy, but he hates his step dad. he’d do anything to protect angela and anything that tim asked him. family always comes first with him

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

it kinda depends. on his sexual life hes really TMI, but about emotions and family and secrets he’s really private. you could count on one hand the amount of people that he’s told private stuff to, and even then they don’t know the full story. i think the only people who would ever truly know him are tim and his significant other

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

football!! and hes actually good at it. tim never plays tho so the only time he gets to is with the curtis gang

What makes them feel guilty?

fucking up on a gang job and letting tim down

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

more emotional!! that’s the biggest difference between curly and tim. tim will think of the long-term effects before making a decision, where curly is more of an “act now, think later” type person. his decisions are usually the wrong ones, but they make for a better story

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

i’d wanna say type B, because he is super laid back and easy going and isn’t really competitive (unless its for a joke)

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

getting away for a while. he loves driving and ive always seen him as having a little secluded spot that he goes to by himself during his teenage years. eventually though he finds the right person that he can take, and just being with them makes him feel better

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

neither tbh. he may think that he’s better than some greasers (because honestly he is) but he doesnt think of himself as above other classes. he finds it unfair that socs and middle class people have a superiority complex, so it’d be dumb for him to have one. he just thinks everyone should be equal (but he knows theyre not, and for that reason he’ll fight any soc he can get his hands on)

How misanthropic are they?

hes very easy to get along with if you come from the same type of neighborhood. he’s open to everyone that’s cool with his gang, but he’ll be the worst kind of person to rival gangs and rich people. so he doesnt dislike people, because he can be a really cool guy, you just have to come from his streets

Hobbies?

football, fighting, drinking, poker. y’know, d00d stuff

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

he graduates high school and thats it. and he definitely values self education more, the stuff he’s learned by himself ahve been more useful to him than the Pythagorean theorem ever will be  

Religion?

he believes in a god but never really thinks about it. hes not religious by any means but i think it kinda comforts him knowing something comes after life

Superstitions or views on the occult?

he doesnt believe in superstitions imo!!

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

both. he’ll talk a big game and then follow through with his promises

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

THE QUESTION IVE BEEN WAITING FOR OK if curly ever fell in love, it’d be with someone making him feel okay with being him. they’d make him want to be a better man & not just a mini tim. they’d have to accept that curly would always idolize his brother, but they’d also help him detach a little. they’d love him for him and accept the fact that they can’t change him. they’d probably be just as wild as he is, bc they’d have to keep up with his lifestyle. they couldn’t take life too seriously and would never know what the future had in store for them. i can see curly eventually being able to be romantic, but it’d never be in public

How do they express love?

kisses, holding hands, little acts of kindness (giving them something that reminded him of them, asking how their day was, remembering little things)

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

daddy came to win

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

nah i dont think he is. i think he’s kinda accepted that there is a very real possibility that he won’t make it past 30 w the way he’s living, so that’s why he takes it day by day

#long post #VERY LONG PSOT #Anonymous

[corrupthumanity-blog]

Feeding Demons

Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {My hands pinned above my head, each blow to my face blurred my vision. This 20 stone man that had me pinned beneath him was kicking my ass, fighting with everything I had, squirming, trying to attempt to shake him off.. how the hell had this happened. I must admit I'd been drowning for a while. My focus off, the darker side of me becoming less satisfied with each hit I did. I could feel the downward spiral taking hold. The next blow that struck was harder than the others combined, or at least that's how it felt as his knuckles bounced off my swelling cheek. But luckily for me the heavy swing threw him off balance, his hand stupidly releasing my wrists to stop himself from falling but it gave me just enough time to slip my hand in my boot, gripping the blade. I think this was the fight or flight moment.. but the second he gave me that opportunity that dark side took a firm hold. Within the blink of an eye I had sliced his throat, his blood spurting over my face just before he collapsed on top of me. 8 days had past since my run in with the big guy. The swelling had gone down and only a yellow bruise remained. My split lip was almost healed too. Finally spotting the car from my position on top of the fire station, I lined up my sight as it pulled up outside the town hall. With a feather light touch, I settle my finger on the trigger. The door opens and my target steps out.. taking in a deep breath, I take my aim, releasing it slowly as I gently squeeze the trigger. This was my second hit of the day and I couldn't stop the satisfied smile that claimed my lips as I watched the target hit the floor. I quickly started to pack away and get on the road, I had another hit in the next town over. 25 days in and all the hits kinda blurred into one.. takedown after takedown. I was averaging around 8 kills a week, and I  wanted more.. Viv had set up a steady stream of hits to me. This guy that stood in front of me screamed and begged as I brutally shoved my thumbs into his eyes. Feeling them give under the pressure. Pulling them out wiping the goo on my jeans before I reach for my gun and shoot him between the eyes.. or not anymore.. As his body hit the floor the silence that remained was deafening. I stood over his now lifeless body for a moment.. wondering how long this could go on for.. if i was honest.. I was nowhere near ready to stop.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [If there was one thing I had learned over the expanse of my lifetime then it's that Mystic Falls -- is too small, especially when the flip has been switched. Far too many pesky humans sticking their nose in other people's business, eager to reconnect me with humanity. Buzzkill the lot of them. With my latest dance with the devil, I left town. I'd feed the hunger within me, my demons were inevitable. The only thing there was to do was to give into them. For months I drifted from to town, taking what I wanted, who I wanted. Killing on nothing but a whim. What did I care for the human condition? They were born screaming and I would ensure they would die screaming too. Covering my tracks at times, only to prevent someone from my past tracking my movements. The past was done with, I had no use for any of them anymore. Nights were spent in a blood and liquor induced haze. If the victim drank just the right amount then I'd have the pleasure of tasting it myself while I mercilessly fed. Nobo kills were so artfully pre-planned, I was a hunter, enslaved to my unwavering desire for blood. Drawing the pad of a thumb across my blood stained lower lip, gathering up the last droplets to savour the thrill of my latest kill. Booted feet shuffled silently across the floor, leaving the girls remains in the alley, she had torn just like paper, for some poor soul to find when dawn broke. Each step became more purposeful, there was a name to add to a wall. No sense in hunting any longer, even the stragglers would be fucks up in bed by now. The silence of the night broken by the sound of a struggle, lips pulling back to reveal a sly grin. It seemed there was still fun to be had. Scaling the fire escape of the nearest building, I followed the sound of the struggle, what better way to view a fight than from higher ground. The night sky was clear, leaving the stars overhead visible to all, such a clear night brought a chill to the air, not that such a thing bothered myself. Open palms pressed against the roofs edge, an emerald gaze falling to the blonde bellow, battling a guy who’s stature easily towered over her own. Nasal passengers filled with the scent of blood, his or hers? I didn't know. I didn't care, my only interest here laid at the feet of the victor. Blood filled with adrenaline… Hmm, now that always went down nicely. As the two man war raged on below it was becoming difficult not to appreciate the brutality of the blonde. It spoke to the darkness I held within. A darkness that until now had thrived alone. Thumbs removed the man's ability to see before a single shot rang out, sending him straight to hell. If I was to act on my hunger then now would be the time. Feet however refused to move, to kill such a dark beauty would be a crime, especially when there was fun to be had. Company was something I had lacked for a long time, not yet ready to introduce myself, I tailed the blonde first from the roof and then from the shadows below. I wanted to see just how dark she was willing to go] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {I finally move, reaching to grab the collar of my latest victim's shirt. I drag his body a few yards and an odd feel creeps in. Releasing his collar. I allow my gaze to scan my surrounding briefly. My bottom lip juts out as I shrug a single shoulder.} You're losing it Frankie. {Securing my grip in this guy's clothing once again I drag the dead weight to my Truck. I'd put the Aston Martin in storage in Ohio I think. It was not practical so I got something that fit a little better. Dropping the tailgate and pulling back the cover. I fight with a bag of muscle and bone until he is in position. Shutting it all back up I jump in the truck and head to the little cabin I intended to crash at, it was literally 15 minutes away. Grabbing a dusty glass off the side I pour myself a large whiskey. Tilting the glass and it's contents down my throat in a couple of gulps. I set the glass on the sable top and hissed, shaking my head as the burn warmed me. Walking towards the door, I pick up a set of overalls and a hacksaw before heading out to the truck. I pause on the dilapidated porch and slide each leg into the overalls and push my arms through the sleeves. Taking the 3 steps off the porch I open the back of the truck and drag the guy off watching as his body slumps against the ground. With the same process, I drag him out back to a tin shack of a garage. After an hour this guy was limbless and I was beat, all I needed to do now was toss the parts onto a fire and then I could pass out before another day of hits. But first the fire. I rub my forehead with the back of my hand and head out, It shouldn't take too long seen as I was smack bang in the middle of small woodlands.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Seeing the blonde drag the lifeless corpse along behind her was entertaining, clearly she cared for the clean up. Why else go to all that effort. As her svelte physique turned back I stepped further into the shadows where no human vision would ever pick up upon my presence. The tricky part came when she made a beeline for a truck, my own mode of transport a few blocks away, parked outside the place I had claimed as my latest place of residence. A darkened gaze swept out, weighing up my options, finally settling on one of the run down vehicles beside the curb. It would have to do. I waited until the truck and the mysterious blonde was nothing but tail lights before stepping out of the shadows and proceeding to break into the car. The task in itself was simple enough and hot wiring the engine had become child's play for me a long time ago. Tailing the blonde at a safe distance, if she saw me now then the plan I was beginning to build up in my mind would never see it's why to fruition. Pulling the car into one of the hedges at the side of the road I stepped out, deciding it was better to go the rest of the way on foot. Booted feet met the ground silently, shoulders hunched forward while attempting to make myself as inconspicuous as I possibly could. Thick brows rose in mild surprise as I drew up to an old cabin, I wouldn't have pegged the woman as the cabin type] What other secrets are you hiding? [Mumbling to myself. I'd reached the cabin just in time to see the woman drag the body around back. Jogging forward to catch up I found an old building around back. Unable to slip inside without making myself known there was little else for me to do, other than settle outside and listen to what was happening within. Being no stranger to the removal of limbs, although my victims tended to still be alive at this point, it didn't take me long to piece together exactly what was going on. Lips lifted into a sly smile, arms rising to fold at my chest following the approach of footsteps. The door swung outwards, hiding my broad frame from sight. The scent of blood once again making nasal passages its home] Tsk, who's been naughty. [Tone low and husky as the blonde moved past without noticing me. Hikes a brow, my head canting to one side while I await her reaction. My hearing focused in upon her heartbeat. The last thing she would be expecting would be company and mine was sure to be unwelcomed] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {I made a b-line for the outskirts of the woodland. Only to freeze in place as the low tone meets my ears. My hand slowly moves behind me as I force myself turn towards the voice.} You have no Idea. {My gaze scanning the dark surroundings. A small stream of light that just made out the outline of the figure, I could make out it was a guy, his broad shoulders, prominent in the silhouette the crack of light cast over him. Pulling a small concealed blade from holster attached to my belt, taking a small step towards them.} If you're here to kill me, let's get this over with, I'm a busy girl you know. {My tone was firm and confident, not give away how I really felt, but internally I was thrown off guard, this was a safe house, how on earth did they find it for starters.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Listening to the way in which her heartbeat picked up, undoubtedly pounding against her rib cage, she’d been running on pure adrenaline for hours now and the effects were wearing off] Oh I have an idea. More of an idea than you realize. [Leisurely footsteps brought me out from the shadows and into what little light the night sky had to offer. It wouldn't be enough for her to see my features clearly but it would be enough to afford her a better picture than the one she had] You intending to gut me Blondie? [Tongues tip, grazing across a lower lip, arms hang in loosely at my sides] Where's the fun in that? Not to mention.. [The sentence trailing off as I took the final step forward, a large hand gripping at the wrist of the hand that held the impressive blade, before she had a chance to react I pulled against her arm forcing her forward until the blade slid into my gut like butter, a small wince my only reaction. For months now I had drunk nothing but human blood, building up not only my strength but my tolerance for pain] ..I'm a lot harder to kill than your friend in there. [Hand released her wrist and returned to my side, while a gaze shifted momentarily to the shack behind me] So, what's it gonna be? Fun or messy? Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {As he spoke he stepped forward and I was on full alert. I almost relaxed when he said about an idea but in my line of work that could mean anything. I stood tall and pushed my shoulders back defensively as he drew closer.} What kind of idea? {With a tilt of my head my curiosity is peaked as my gaze roams over his muscular frame before returning to meet his own.} If you give me a reason too, I won't hesitate. {The confusion was real, was this guy gonna hire me.. kill me.. torture was an option to.} Wait fun? {The second he took that step closer my grip tightens around the hilt, but just as quickly his large hand grasped my wrist. I was about to fight back but he pulled my arm that held the blade, the muscle sliced as he drives it into his torso. I stumble forward and my hand reaches out, gripping his arm to steady myself. Glancing down at the blade then back up at him.} Vampire. I should have known. {His hand move from my wrist, i waste no time in pulling the blade from his torso, my other hand falls from his shoulder. I take a step back and wipe the blood from my blade on my thigh, staining the overalls I had on. I allow a small silence to follow before finally breaking it.} Can't it be both? {My lips curl into a sadistic smile.} I mean it's not fun if you don't get a little messy right? {Turning my back on the stranger, I head towards the woodland to grab the firewood, to finish the job i had started and burn that body.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Dark pulsating veins webbed out beneath lower lids as incisors lengthen and sharpened, allowing the girl before me to get a look at the monster that lurked just beneath the surface. The self inflicted wound at my abdomen already healed] Mhmm, you really should have. [I hid my mild surprise beneath a toothy grin, it would appear the blonde was more versed in the supernatural than I first would have expected and the chances were if she knew of vampires then she would also know of vervain. Oh well, it all still worked in my favour, there was always more fun to be had when compulsion wasn't at play. Tipping my head forth in an agreeable nod at the last statement, girl had more fire in her than she showed. A trait I could easily show appreciation for, but maybe not just yet... Arms brought once more to cross at my chest, backing up once more into the shadows, blondie had a job to do and I wasn't the type for manual labour, not when I could slip inside the shack to appreciate the handy work of one so young. The game would continue upon her return..] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {It had taken an hour to gather enough wood to build a fire big enough to burn the body, but it was worth it. Although, the whole time I wondered what idea this vampire had, I saw him continue to lurk the whole time. I mean what did he want with a twisted girl like me.. I’m sue if he wanted me dead, he’d have attempted it or succeeded by now. Heading back inside the shack I stuff the body parts into a sack, dragging it from the shed to just in front of the fire. Once the bonfire was lit and the flames lapped the wood, hungrily and one by one,  I threw the mangled chunks of my last victim into the centre of it. The warm, amber glow consuming my concentration. Finally snapping myself from my daze, not quite sure where he had gotten to at this point. So I spoke hoping those keen senses he possessed worked in my favour.} So, idea, huh? I’ll grab the whiskey, and you can tell me more. {Turning on my heel I head back into the cabin for a brief moment to fetch two glasses and a bottle and head back outside to the fire, taking a seat on one of the old tires strewn about the area.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [A hooded gaze followed the retreating figure of the blonde with mild interest, knowing the task she was about to take care of and having little desire to help. Booted feet met the earth below silently, leaving what little light the sky overhead allowed to duck inside the shack. Nasal passages once again assaulted by the stench of blood, the place was filled with it. The interior resembling that of a one man massacre, this woman's style was something to not only be appreciated but also moulded into something greater. With someone such as myself at her side who knew what she could become. A forefinger traced the smooth cut at the neck, neater than any pieces I tended to leave behind. Then again I didn't tend to deal in power tools. Snorting to myself at the image such an idea conjured within the depths of my mind. I had no idea how long I had been appreciating her handy work when the silence was broken by approaching steps and laboured breath. No matter, I simply became one with the shadows of the night again. Leaving the blood soaked shack without her even noticing. Curious as to my location, that was a given, yet if I wanted to watch this mysterious woman who walked a dangerous path then it was best to do so from afar. In truth people such as us tended to work better alone.. at least for a little while. Eyes trailed upon her every move, almost robotic. Her soft features, now lit by the soft glow of the bonfire, were void of emotion. Lips twitched at the mention of liquor. Woman was smart, smart enough to realise I wasn't done with her just yet. Approaching the fire, only once she had disappeared inside the cabin, perching upon one of the upended logs] What would you like to know? [An emerald gaze cast briefly in her direction before returning to the lapping flames once more] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {My gaze lost on the flames for a moment, my mind raced with the past few hours. I knew I felt, saw someone earlier, before I met him. I set the bottle firmly between my knees and twist the cap off, my other hand balancing both glasses, placing the cap between my teeth and gripping the bottle securely I fill our glasses.. The whole process repeated as I secure the lid back on the bottle before handing this guy one. I pondered his question as I swirl the liquor around the bottom of the glass before glancing over at him} Everything, I mean.. You must want something from me, I’m alive.. {Glancing down at the glass.} So, I figure you want me alive for a reason. You just watched me pop some guys eyes in and then chop and burn the bastard body. {Finally bringing the glass to parted lips I knock back the liquor.} So.. something tells me, you’re either as twisted as I am, or you just like being all creepy lurker around blondes. {A small twitch of amusement briefly curled my my lips. Blowing out a slow breath as I feel the heat of the whiskey Warm my chest} Why don’t you tell me everything. {There was nothing in my features, no fear, no curiosity. I felt numb, like I had for months now, but there was a twinge that pulled at my insides and that was there is a small chance this guy was similar to me, in some sense. Plus, something told me that this could actually turn out to be an adventure, but I wasn’t going to get ahead of myself. I mean, when did that ever happen. Reaching for the bottle once again, I refill my glass, and offer him another.} I’m Frankie by the way. Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Letting silence fall across us once more, broken only by the crackling of wood within the flames and the nocturnal creatures moving within the woodland. There was no rush to speak beyond words that had already been exchanged. While it appeared my gaze was transfixed upon the lapping flames, in truth they watched the blonde's every move from the corner of my eye. Not from fear or concern, I was free of such emotions, had been for a long time. My watchfulness was born out of intrigue. Every move told a story and hers was one of darkness, one I could relate too. Leaning across the space between her seat and my own, a large hand accepted the glass with a short nod] Hmm, that I did. [Focus upon the contents of the glass broken by the joke she'd risked in uttering] I'm more into brunette's.. [Gifts her with the briefest of glances while features display a lopsided grin. Knocking back the liquor I held the liquid within my mouth for a beat before swallowing, savouring its taste that went hand in hand with it's warming burn. To spill or now or tantalize her with drip fed information, that was the question] Stefan. [My name the only thing to pass my lips while I extended my glass forward for the refill, hardly one to say no to alcohol] You're alone, Frankie. So desperately and tiredly alone. Unable to connect with your fellow man. [Emerald eyes bored into her own as if daring her to challenge my statement] Numb to everything life has to offer. Even the kills fail to give you any sort of thrill anymore. [Pausing just long enough to take an indulgent sip from the glass] Am I right? [Hikes a thick brow, already knowing the answer before it was uttered. She was just like a vampire, just like myself, void of any human emotions yet was clearly bound to the mortal coil. Drawing lips into a thin line, refusing to speak further until previous words had sunk in] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {Ordinarily, sitting in silence with someone who watched me kill, followed me back here, revealing their true nature, watched me burn a body.. Let's say I wouldn’t usually share a bottle of whiskey with them. Let alone feel a sense of calm as I sat in silence with this man. His voice broke through the background noise. The heat from the fire and all the running around I had done had me hot and bothered, Setting the glass down I shimmy out of the top half of the overalls, a soft laugh escaping me at the brunette comment and not a fake laugh to prove I was listening, it was genuine amusement.} Duly noted. {My gaze shifting from the fire to meet his.}  Pleasure, Stefan. {Picking up my drink, I drain its contents. A slight shudder from the burn in my throat, rolling my shoulders. He started to speak once again and as his words filled the airspace, goosebumps rose on my skin, he spoke the truth, for someone I’d only spent a few short hours with, he had seen right through me. Turning my head towards him, our gaze locking. It took me a moment to respond. I couldn’t dispute it. He had called out the parts of me I had been trying to bury for the past month. Grazing my bottom lip with blunt teeth I finally speak.} You have no Idea how right you are. {I don’t know how I managed but I could cut off all emotion at will. Maybe it’s some residue of what I was left behind. I honestly couldn’t tell, but for right now. I was grateful for it.} So, we have established I’m broken in the biggest kind of way. {Deciding to shift my position on the old tire, turning to face him, now only half of my face visible from the amber glow of the fire the other hidden by the shadows of my profile.} What can a fuck up like myself possibly offer a Vampire, if you aren’t going to eat me? {My tone lowering as I reach for the bottle once again.} Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [The uncontrolled laughter was the only real emotion I had seen her display in the past few hours and let's face it, I had been watching closer than was entirely necessary. Hand lowering between my thighs to set the glass at my feet, raising my hands once more with palms open as if to warm them by the flames. An action that wasn't entirely necessary, not in my current condition. My veins still thrummed with the blood I had consumed mere moments before stumbling across the blonde in her alley brawl. Her eyes displayed how hard my words had hit home, not needing the verbal confirmation that followed. Features displayed a half smile while I retrieved the glass from beside my feet] I think you'll find I know exactly how right I am. [Hadn't I myself been down the exact same road on numerous occasions? That may have been why I was so taken with her darkness, it had the potential to be molded into something that could possibly rival my own one day] Broken? [Shifting on the upturned log until I was facing her, one side of my face too becoming shrouded in darkness, chuckling lowly to myself as I took in the irony of our appearance. Half in the light, half in the dark. We both straddled two world's in our way] You're not the one who's broken, Frankie. Everybody else is. Flittering from one day to the next with no true purpose. [Tilting the rim of the glass in her general direction as I continued] You just haven't learnt how to truly live yet... But you will. [With the glass raised to my lips I drained its contents and proceeded to hold it before the blonde for a refill] You'll see. [What was quickly becoming a trademark sly smile, took up residence upon darkened features] Frankie Loveridge: SeductiveBeaut {Glancing down at my hands, stained red, well, darker now it had dried. It’s funny how blood can horrify some people and not even phase another, like myself. It was an everyday occurrence. Turning over my hands palms facing up, it looked like I was wearing gloves, the sleeves of the overalls had protected my arms from the same fate. His words once again ringing true as I glance up at him. The glow of the fire casting over him, though his eyes remained slightly shadowed. I let him speak without interruption. His words still held my attention. Now, curiosity was getting the better of me. A purpose..? He was so sure. So certain. A slight frown took hold of my features.} And what makes you so sure? {Leaning down briefly to retrieve my glass, finishing it’s contents. Resting my forearms on my knees, leaning in closer to him. My gaze searching his. Hoping now he would say what he hand been biting back since our first interaction. It was on the tip of his tongue, I wanted to blurt out what I thought he might be getting at but, the stubborn bitch in me was going to make him say it. The truth was though, that nothing had caught my attention of late /nothing/ The hit’s, they were a relief from, well, everything. And it wasn’t enough. Not enough to feed my demons anyway. And now sat with this, Stefan guy. My interest had been caught, what I could learn from this guy.} Well? Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Curiosity spread across her soft features, not yet entirely hardened by the cruelty of life. It was clear the woman before me still held onto a slither of hope, even within her darkest hour. Proof of that lay within how she still remained in my presence, if she was seeking light beyond the darkness, then she had chosen the wrong Yoda. Hero, savior, just a few words that had been tossed in my direction over the centuries. Neither of which I lived up to anymore and nor did I intend to live up to them anymore. Eternal damnation was the only destination on the cards. It was sure to be one hell of a ride too. The silence had once again stretched openly before us. Frankie eager for answers while I simply enjoyed the need she held within] There's no fun to be had with a lecture, Frankie. No one learns in a classroom. [Bites back a laugh following my private inside joke, while I rose to my feet, an emerald gaze remaining upon the blonde] You have to get out in the field. And believe me, it's gonna be one hell of a learning curve. [Offering a hand to aid her to her feet. A gesture tinged with temptation, the first of many tests she would be put through. That was if she dared to take me up on my veiled offer] SeductiveBeaut: Frankie Loveridge {The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, It was clear to see something was being cooked in his mind while we sat there, I had no doubt I’d be drip fed little bits as the evening went on. A dark gaze bore into the fire. I didn’t want to be saved, I could do that all by myself. Now? I wanted to explore the darker parts, the parts I had pushed down, buried for so long. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about consequences right now, I wanted.. No needed to know how far I would be willing to go. Lifting a blood stained hand, I drag my hair from my face, his words breaking the silence. Casting my gaze to meet his, a soft orange glow from the fire flickered in his emerald ones. I listened intently, not a word spoken until he offered me his hand. Reaching out, placing my palm in his, I rose to my feet. A sadistic smile claims my lips.} I never was any good with theory. {My hand lingered in his for a moment before I pull it free.} When do we start? Stefan Salvatore, CorruptHumanity: [Large fingers engulfed her smaller much more delicate hand. It would appear, even in my current state of no emotion, that I possessed something of a trusting face. Women were always so eager to take my hand, temptation truly was a wondrous thing. Lips displayed a pleased grin, one that almost reached my eyes, without hesitation. Frankie may have had no idea what she was about to get herself into but the willingness to blindly follow my lead was something to be appreciated] I'm about to take you so high, you're never gonna want to come down. [Hushed words spoken against the apple of her cheek, liquor soaked breath undoubtedly tickled against exposed skin. Heightened hearing able to clearly pick up on her heart rate, whether it peaked out of fear or excitement, was unclear, the biggest part of me however suspected it was due to the latter. Booted feet sidestepped around the blonde, leading her away from the bonfire of her own creation to where she had parked up earlier on in the evening. Eyes returned to meet her soft features, still able to see clearly despite the lack of light, my hand once holding hers now free and expectantly waiting for the keys I knew she carried in her pocket] I don't ride shotgun. [A lie to a point, on my behalf, if Frankie wanted to learn from my own darkness then she was going to have to give up a little of the control she appeared to love so much]

[seductivebeaut]

#FeedingDemons With @FeralTormentor

Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {My hands pinned above my head, each blow to my face blurred my vision. This 20 stone man that had me pinned beneath him was kicking my ass, fighting with everything I had, squirming, trying to attempt to shake him off.. how the hell had this happened. I must admit I'd been drowning for a while. My focus off, the darker side of me becoming less satisfied with each hit I did. I could feel the downward spiral taking hold. The next blow that struck was harder than the others combined, or at least that's how it felt as his knuckles bounced off my swelling cheek. But luckily for me the heavy swing threw him off balance, his hand stupidly releasing my wrists to stop himself from falling but it gave me just enough time to slip my hand in my boot, gripping the blade. I think this was the fight or flight moment.. but the second he gave me that opportunity that dark side took a firm hold. Within the blink of an eye I had sliced his throat, his blood spurting over my face just before he collapsed on top of me. 8 days had past since my run in with the big guy. The swelling had gone down and only a yellow bruise remained. My split lip was almost healed too. Finally spotting the car from my position on top of the fire station, I lined up my sight as it pulled up outside the town hall. With a feather light touch, I settle my finger on the trigger. The door opens and my target steps out.. taking in a deep breath, I take my aim, releasing it slowly as I gently squeeze the trigger. This was my second hit of the day and I couldn't stop the satisfied smile that claimed my lips as I watched the target hit the floor. I quickly started to pack away and get on the road, I had another hit in the next town over. 25 days in and all the hits kinda blurred into one.. takedown after takedown. I was averaging around 8 kills a week, and I wanted more.. Viv had set up a steady stream of hits to me. This guy that stood in front of me screamed and begged as I brutally shoved my thumbs into his eyes. Feeling them give under the pressure. Pulling them out wiping the goo on my jeans before I reach for my gun and shoot him between the eyes.. or not anymore.. As his body hit the floor the silence that remained was deafening. I stood over his now lifeless body for a moment.. wondering how long this could go on for.. if i was honest.. I was nowhere near ready to stop.} Stefan Salvatore, FeralTormentor: [If there was one thing I had learned over the expanse of my lifetime then it's that Mystic Falls -- is too small, especially when the flip has been switched. Far too many pesky humans sticking their nose in other people's business, eager to reconnect me with humanity. Buzzkill the lot of them. With my latest dance with the devil, I left town. I'd feed the hunger within me, my demons were inevitable. The only thing there was to do was to give into them. For months I drifted from to town, taking what I wanted, who I wanted. Killing on nothing but a whim. What did I care for the human condition? They were born screaming and I would ensure they would die screaming too. Covering my tracks at times, only to prevent someone from my past tracking my movements. The past was done with, I had no use for any of them anymore. Nights were spent in a blood and liquor induced haze. If the victim drank just the right amount then I'd have the pleasure of tasting it myself while I mercilessly fed. Nobo kills were so artfully pre-planned, I was a hunter, enslaved to my unwavering desire for blood. Drawing the pad of a thumb across my blood stained lower lip, gathering up the last droplets to savour the thrill of my latest kill. Booted feet shuffled silently across the floor, leaving the girls remains in the alley, she had torn just like paper, for some poor soul to find when dawn broke. Each step became more purposeful, there was a name to add to a wall. No sense in hunting any longer, even the stragglers would be fucks up in bed by now. The silence of the night broken by the sound of a struggle, lips pulling back to reveal a sly grin. It seemed there was still fun to be had. Scaling the fire escape of the nearest building, I followed the sound of the struggle, what better way to view a fight than from higher ground. The night sky was clear, leaving the stars overhead visible to all, such a clear night brought a chill to the air, not that such a thing bothered myself. Open palms pressed against the roofs edge, an emerald gaze falling to the blonde bellow, battling a guy who’s stature easily towered over her own. Nasal passengers filled with the scent of blood, his or hers? I didn't know. I didn't care, my only interest here laid at the feet of the victor. Blood filled with adrenaline… Hmm, now that always went down nicely. As the two man war raged on below it was becoming difficult not to appreciate the brutality of the blonde. It spoke to the darkness I held within. A darkness that until now had thrived alone. Thumbs removed the man's ability to see before a single shot rang out, sending him straight to hell. If I was to act on my hunger then now would be the time. Feet however refused to move, to kill such a dark beauty would be a crime, especially when there was fun to be had. Company was something I had lacked for a long time, not yet ready to introduce myself, I tailed the blonde first from the roof and then from the shadows below. I wanted to see just how dark she was willing to go] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {I finally move, reaching to grab the collar of my latest victim's shirt. I drag his body a few yards and an odd feel creeps in. Releasing his collar. I allow my gaze to scan my surrounding briefly. My bottom lip juts out as I shrug a single shoulder.} You're losing it Frankie. {Securing my grip in this guy's clothing once again I drag the dead weight to my Truck. I'd put the Aston Martin in storage in Ohio I think. It was not practical so I got something that fit a little better. Dropping the tailgate and pulling back the cover. I fight with a bag of muscle and bone until he is in position. Shutting it all back up I jump in the truck and head to the little cabin I intended to crash at, it was literally 15 minutes away. Grabbing a dusty glass off the side I pour myself a large whiskey. Tilting the glass and it's contents down my throat in a couple of gulps. I set the glass on the sable top and hissed, shaking my head as the burn warmed me. Walking towards the door, I pick up a set of overalls and a hacksaw before heading out to the truck. I pause on the dilapidated porch and slide each leg into the overalls and push my arms through the sleeves. Taking the 3 steps off the porch I open the back of the truck and drag the guy off watching as his body slumps against the ground. With the same process, I drag him out back to a tin shack of a garage. After an hour this guy was limbless and I was beat, all I needed to do now was toss the parts onto a fire and then I could pass out before another day of hits. But first the fire. I rub my forehead with the back of my hand and head out, It shouldn't take too long seen as I was smack bang in the middle of small woodlands.} Stefan Salvatore, FeralTormentor: [Seeing the blonde drag the lifeless corpse along behind her was entertaining, clearly she cared for the clean up. Why else go to all that effort. As her svelte physique turned back I stepped further into the shadows where no human vision would ever pick up upon my presence. The tricky part came when she made a beeline for a truck, my own mode of transport a few blocks away, parked outside the place I had claimed as my latest place of residence. A darkened gaze swept out, weighing up my options, finally settling on one of the run down vehicles beside the curb. It would have to do. I waited until the truck and the mysterious blonde was nothing but tail lights before stepping out of the shadows and proceeding to break into the car. The task in itself was simple enough and hot wiring the engine had become child's play for me a long time ago. Tailing the blonde at a safe distance, if she saw me now then the plan I was beginning to build up in my mind would never see it's why to fruition. Pulling the car into one of the hedges at the side of the road I stepped out, deciding it was better to go the rest of the way on foot. Booted feet met the ground silently, shoulders hunched forward while attempting to make myself as inconspicuous as I possibly could. Thick brows rose in mild surprise as I drew up to an old cabin, I wouldn't have pegged the woman as the cabin type] What other secrets are you hiding? [Mumbling to myself. I'd reached the cabin just in time to see the woman drag the body around back. Jogging forward to catch up I found an old building around back. Unable to slip inside without making myself known there was little else for me to do, other than settle outside and listen to what was happening within. Being no stranger to the removal of limbs, although my victims tended to still be alive at this point, it didn't take me long to piece together exactly what was going on. Lips lifted into a sly smile, arms rising to fold at my chest following the approach of footsteps. The door swung outwards, hiding my broad frame from sight. The scent of blood once again making nasal passages its home] Tsk, who's been naughty. [Tone low and husky as the blonde moved past without noticing me. Hikes a brow, my head canting to one side while I await her reaction. My hearing focused in upon her heartbeat. The last thing she would be expecting would be company and mine was sure to be unwelcomed] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {I made a b-line for the outskirts of the woodland. Only to freeze in place as the low tone meets my ears. My hand slowly moves behind me as I force myself turn towards the voice.} You have no Idea. {My gaze scanning the dark surroundings. A small stream of light that just made out the outline of the figure, I could make out it was a guy, his broad shoulders, prominent in the silhouette the crack of light cast over him. Pulling a small concealed blade from holster attached to my belt, taking a small step towards them.} If you're here to kill me, let's get this over with, I'm a busy girl you know. {My tone was firm and confident, not give away how I really felt, but internally I was thrown off guard, this was a safe house, how on earth did they find it for starters.} Stefan Salvatore, FeralTormentor: [Listening to the way in which her heartbeat picked up, undoubtedly pounding against her rib cage, she’d been running on pure adrenaline for hours now and the effects were wearing off] Oh I have an idea. More of an idea than you realize. [Leisurely footsteps brought me out from the shadows and into what little light the night sky had to offer. It wouldn't be enough for her to see my features clearly but it would be enough to afford her a better picture than the one she had] You intending to gut me Blondie? [Tongues tip, grazing across a lower lip, arms hang in loosely at my sides] Where's the fun in that? Not to mention.. [The sentence trailing off as I took the final step forward, a large hand gripping at the wrist of the hand that held the impressive blade, before she had a chance to react I pulled against her arm forcing her forward until the blade slid into my gut like butter, a small wince my only reaction. For months now I had drunk nothing but human blood, building up not only my strength but my tolerance for pain] ..I'm a lot harder to kill than your friend in there. [Hand released her wrist and returned to my side, while a gaze shifted momentarily to the shack behind me] So, what's it gonna be? Fun or messy? Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {As he spoke he stepped forward and I was on full alert. I almost relaxed when he said about an idea but in my line of work that could mean anything. I stood tall and pushed my shoulders back defensively as he drew closer.} What kind of idea? {With a tilt of my head my curiosity is peaked as my gaze roams over his muscular frame before returning to meet his own.} If you give me a reason too, I won't hesitate. {The confusion was real, was this guy gonna hire me.. kill me.. torture was an option to.} Wait fun? {The second he took that step closer my grip tightens around the hilt, but just as quickly his large hand grasped my wrist. I was about to fight back but he pulled my arm that held the blade, the muscle sliced as he drives it into his torso. I stumble forward and my hand reaches out, gripping his arm to steady myself. Glancing down at the blade then back up at him.} Vampire. I should have known. {His hand move from my wrist, i waste no time in pulling the blade from his torso, my other hand falls from his shoulder. I take a step back and wipe the blood from my blade on my thigh, staining the overalls I had on. I allow a small silence to follow before finally breaking it.} Can't it be both? {My lips curl into a sadistic smile.} I mean it's not fun if you don't get a little messy right? {Turning my back on the stranger, I head towards the woodland to grab the firewood, to finish the job i had started and burn that body.} Stefan Salvatore, FeralTormentor: [Dark pulsating veins webbed out beneath lower lids as incisors lengthen and sharpened, allowing the girl before me to get a look at the monster that lurked just beneath the surface. The self inflicted wound at my abdomen already healed] Mhmm, you really should have. [I hid my mild surprise beneath a toothy grin, it would appear the blonde was more versed in the supernatural than I first would have expected and the chances were if she knew of vampires then she would also know of vervain. Oh well, it all still worked in my favour, there was always more fun to be had when compulsion wasn't at play. Tipping my head forth in an agreeable nod at the last statement, girl had more fire in her than she showed. A trait I could easily show appreciation for, but maybe not just yet... Arms brought once more to cross at my chest, backing up once more into the shadows, blondie had a job to do and I wasn't the type for manual labour, not when I could slip inside the shack to appreciate the handy work of one so young. The game would continue upon her return..] Frankie Loveridge, SeductiveBeaut: {It had taken an hour to gather enough wood to build a fire big enough to burn the body, but it was worth it. Although, the whole time I wondered what idea this vampire had, I saw him continue to lurk the whole time. I mean what did he want with a twisted girl like me.. I’m sue if he wanted me dead, he’d have attempted it or succeeded by now. Heading back inside the shack I stuff the body parts into a sack, dragging it from the shed to just in front of the fire. Once the bonfire was lit and the flames lapped the wood, hungrily and one by one, I threw the mangled chunks of my last victim into the centre of it. The warm, amber glow consuming my concentration. Finally snapping myself from my daze, not quite sure where he had gotten to at this point. So I spoke hoping those keen senses he possessed worked in my favour.} So, idea, huh? I’ll grab the whiskey, and you can tell me more. {Turning on my heel I head back into the cabin for a brief moment to fetch two glasses and a bottle and head back outside to the fire, taking a seat on one of the old tires strewn about the area.} Stefan Salvatore, FeralTormentor: [A hooded gaze followed the retreating figure of the blonde with mild interest, knowing the task she was about to take care of and having little desire to help. Booted feet met the earth below silently, leaving what little light the sky overhead allowed to duck inside the shack. Nasal passages once again assaulted by the stench of blood, the place was filled with it. The interior resembling that of a one man massacre, this woman's style was something to not only be appreciated but also moulded into something greater. With someone such as myself at her side who knew what she could become. A forefinger traced the smooth cut at the neck, neater than any pieces I tended to leave behind. Then again I didn't tend to deal in power tools. Snorting to myself at the image such an idea conjured within the depths of my mind. I had no idea how long I had been appreciating her handy work when the silence was broken by approaching steps and laboured breath. No matter, I simply became one with the shadows of the night again. Leaving the blood soaked shack without her even noticing. Curious as to my location, that was a given, yet if I wanted to watch this mysterious woman who walked a dangerous path then it was best to do so from afar. In truth people such as us tended to work better alone.. at least for a little while. Eyes trailed upon her every move, almost robotic. Her soft features, now lit by the soft glow of the bonfire, were void of emotion. Lips twitched at the mention of liquor. Woman was smart, smart enough to realise I wasn't done with her just yet. Approaching the fire, only once she had disappeared inside the cabin, perching upon one of the upended logs] What would you like to know? [An emerald gaze cast briefly in her direction before returning to the lapping flames once more] Frankie Loveridge SeductiveBeaut {My gaze lost on the flames for a moment, my mind raced with the past few hours. I knew I felt, saw someone earlier, before I met him. I set the bottle firmly between my knees and twist the cap off, my other hand balancing both glasses, placing the cap between my teeth and gripping the bottle securely I fill our glasses.. The whole process repeated as I secure the lid back on the bottle before handing this guy one. I pondered his question as I swirl the liquor around the bottom of the glass before glancing over at him} Everything, I mean.. You must want something from me, I’m alive.. {Glancing down at the glass.} So, I figure you want me alive for a reason. You just watched me pop some guys eyes in and then chop and burn the bastard body. {Finally bringing the glass to parted lips I knock back the liquor.} So.. something tells me, you’re either as twisted as I am, or you just like being all creepy lurker around blondes. {A small twitch of amusement briefly curled my my lips. Blowing out a slow breath as I feel the heat of the whiskey Warm my chest} Why don’t you tell me everything. {There was nothing in my features, no fear, no curiosity. I felt numb, like I had for months now, but there was a twinge that pulled at my insides and that was there is a small chance this guy was similar to me, in some sense. Plus, something told me that this could actually turn out to be an adventure, but I wasn’t going to get ahead of myself. I mean, when did that ever happen. Reaching for the bottle once again, I refill my glass, and offer him another.} I’m Frankie by the way.

[textsacc]

[01:56] セン: hi i went to study baseball. [01:56] セン: um. [01:57] セン: drawing yozora with a baseball bat is a missed opportunity. [02:00] セン: okay so maybe its for aesthetic. [02:00] セン: so [02:00] セン: thats fine [02:00] セン: but [02:00] セン: hear me out [02:00] セン: i now have opinions on yozora/sena for baseball [02:06] セン: so in baseball, theres one designated catcher, apparently, who acts as the backbone and effectively works as the leader with the most important job out of everyone, because they're the only one that gets to see the entire field and give instructions to others

that's yozora because she's club leader, and effectively club can't happen without her orders, but also because she's the smartest, schemiest person in the club, so it makes sense for her to strategize for her team. it also comes with the heavy burden of responsibility and getting hurt a lot to try and catch the ball (see ch. orion for more info)

for maximum efficiency, the catcher has to work effectively with their pitcher. the pitcher can be swapped in, usually they swap every 5 people or so, because a pitcher's work is super demanding; this means that the catcher has to know each person well enough to maximize their throw-catch rate, which essentially falls to the leader anyway, aka its still yozora-best-fit there [02:11] セン: now the pitcher usually consists of 4/5 people on rotation, so it could be literally everyone else on the team who's eligible for play (rika, yukimura, sena, kodaka) but the reason why its super important for sena to be the pitcher and for yozora to be the catcher is because of personal catchers

Because of the close mental relationship and trust that a successful pitcher must have with his catcher, a number of catchers throughout history have become preferred by pitchers on their teams, to the point that the catcher will almost always (especially during the regular season) start along with the pitcher. The catcher is then informally referred to as that pitcher's personal catcher. Personal catchers are often used for pitchers that specialize in throwing knuckleballs, due to the difficulty of catching such an inconsistent and erratic pitch.

you can theoretically swap out any pitcher during the game, sure, but you can't swap out catchers if i understand it correctly. literally anyone else on the team could be a catcher but they wouldn't have the same synergy as a leader would after they've bonded with everyone unless they did the same thing

which, technically, none of them have except for kodaka, and he sucks ass at everything to begin with, so he's not even qualified physically to do it and placing bets on him to do it would weaken the team performance significantly [02:24] セン: its like trying to get aigis instead of minato to lead the team in p3; like yeah itll work but at what cost

anyway yozora's secondary is sena in terms of performance, but since she's lacking in the social awareness department it's very difficult for her to accurately guess what her pitcher's going to do, and i'm not even going to get started on rika/yukimura if that's the case

so finally, why is sena the perfect personal pitcher?

Personal catchers are often used for pitchers that specialize in throwing knuckleballs, due to the difficulty of catching such an inconsistent and erratic pitch.

a. she's definitely wanting to throw knuckleballs. since they're almost a sure-fire way of leading the opponent batter astray, this means that all she has to do to ensure an out for the opponent team is to get her own team's catcher to just. catch shit. b. her stamina, strength and recklessness probably already add onto the effectiveness of the top -- the winning strategy here is to be as chaotically powerful as possible, which she does (see ch. orion for more details) and because it's a solo play she's allowed to go ffa instead of holding back to help her team out

c. i point out the synergy between yozora and sena in the following - i. werewolf (hotsprings) - ii. basketball (orion) - iii. romancing saga 2 (drk/pld)

tldr they're super fucking gay, but also yozora is able to go through the impossible mental gymnastics to support/hinder sena and it shows. because of how good their game rapport is even especially without communication, their tactics on the field are going to be amazing with how crazy sena's pitches will get and how yozora will do almost anything to get herself to follow through and catch them

d. sena is probably going to be able to last the excrutiating work of pitching on the field for longer than anyone expects, which means more impossible hits for the opposing team, which means a higher chance of winning the game [02:28] セン: e. as long as sena isn't the catcher (i think), she can also bat against the other team, and we know she'll be good at batting because of how much physical prowess she has. itll be especially good because the batter is the only offensive one on the field at that point of time, with everyone else on the benches as the opponent team fills up the field with defense -- she'll basically have a trip exerting herself on solo-mode if she's made to bat (which is entirely possible) e.i. also she's probably super lucky so she'll get to make a lot more successful hits than expected e.ii. yozora would probably be terrible at batting, but not to say she doesn't try -- she'll probably be one of the better batters on the team overall, but normally catchers don't take the offensive, they stay on defense (haha like a tank)

[02:29] セン: most of the reason they'd make a good battery pair just lies in c but a and b are also really good points, d and e are just if im not wrong [02:30] セン: f. yozora literally bleeds for sena i cant stress this enough (orion) so like her being the catcher is totally fucking apt because they have to be super padded to play catcher otherwise they'll be injured like 90% of the time [02:30] セン: thank you for coming to my ted talk,

[02:41] セン: hi im gonna run over some tldr quotes from butterfly soup to hammer in the idea of yozora/sena is literally perfect especially when put into the baseball allegory

(Noelle pitching) "Noelle doesn't have enough upper body strength to throw it that far."

"With a knuckleballer pitching, the catcher has to focus so hard on stopping it that runners on base will have an easier time stealing." "So basically, it's hard to throw right, it's hard to control even when it's done right, and it's punishing if you miss." "Knuckleball is the pitch of someone with nothing left to lose."

- The ball ricochets off Liz's mitt and catches her bare hand, striking her thumb at a painful looking angle. - Liz's thumb has turned a swollen purple. "Are you okay?" "I'll live..."

"I chose it because... uh.... it's hard to catch." "So Diya has to be the one to catch it. Since it'll hurt everyone else." "Diya's immune to it because she's special."

"Is it really that surprising? Diya (catcher) has always been good at sports." "No, but you don't understand! This goes beyond being 'good at sports'!" [02:58] セン: "A lot of knuckleball pitchers end up having one catcher who specializes in catching that pitch just for them. They're called personal catchers. The two of them get traded together, as a set. It's like a weird baseball marriage." "I should learn how to throw a knuckleball, and you can catch it for me!" "Wait, but didn't they just say it's really hard to catch?" "So what? You're like a baseball goddess!"

(Min, as pitcher) "I don't need anyone. I'll do everything all by myself. I'll become so happy and successful that everyone who was ever bad to me have to beg on their hands and knees for me to forgive them."

[ismokeitsite]

I smoke regularly, and pass tests a couple times a year for work. To address the recent rash of testing questions, here is how i do it. (Long)

I smoke regularly, and pass tests a couple times a year for work. To address the recent rash of testing questions, here is how i do it. (Long)

There seems to be an annoyingly large amount of posts on this sub relating to testing and “detoxing”. This is my two cents based on being a regular, but light to moderate smoker, who has to pass drug tests a couple times a year for contract jobs.

Tl;dr - There isn’t one. Read it all. If you aren’t interested in reading the whole thing, best of luck on your test...

I did a lot of research many years ago on how to clear for a basic urine test, and I have refined this into a method where I can clear reliably with a weeks notice without any fancy or expensive “detox” products or fake urine. I have never tested my method with less than five days notice, so please keep that in mind.

Also, your body type, activity level, and smoking habits are all factors in how well this will work for you. I use a one-hitter most of the time, and use it on average once a day, and sometimes a fat blunt on weekends. I get the munches when I smoke, bad. But I’m also an avid cyclist and I live in a city where walking and biking are the most efficient modes of transportation, so I get a lot of exercise. YMMV.

THC is fat soluble. That’s why you can make canna butter and oil with it. It also means it folds itself easily into your body fat. This is why you will test positive for weeks after your last puff at times. As your body uses that fat for energy, the thc metabolites are released into your blood. Thc metabolites are what is left over after the thc is done messing with your brain. I will be using them interchangeably here, but it’s the metabolites that are being tested for.

My strategy is dilution of my urine along with steps to mask that dilution. I self-test to make sure that I’m doing it right, and to time it correctly so when I go into that stall, I know I’m good to go.

First, before I even need to start the process, I make sure to have plenty of dip tests on hand. I use easy@home thc tests from Amazon. They are cheap: ~$1 each in bulk, and calibrated to 50ng/ml or 50 nanograms per milliliter of urine. This is the FDA standard.

Second, I almost always know well in advance when I will be testing. I know this isn’t usually the case with most folks, but I have cleared with as short as five days notice, and could probably shorten that to three, but I haven’t tried it. I welcome the community to confirm my experiences with this method.

The scenario:

OK, negotiations are complete, the contract is signed. HR contacts me with the inevitable barrage of things I need to do to satisfy the clients HR department. This always includes a drug test. I always have a good sesh around this time because I know I’ll be on a t-break for a while, dammit.

Stop smoking, do not consume any thc or cbd products. It sucks, but you have to.

Suck it up.

Diet and exercise are your friends at this point. You need to clear some of that thc infused fat that’s settled around your belly and ass. You won’t get it all, but losing some helps the next step. 2-3 days before d-day, switch it up and stop exercising and start eating. Eat a lot. Also start drinking water, lots of water. You are trying to put on a layer of clean fat and hydrate your body to cause a “whoosh” the day of the test. A whoosh is where you are so hydrated that you are peeing every hour or so and it looks like water. You cant work up to a whoosh in less than 24-48 hours unless you are routinely well hydrated. Most of us aren’t...

Dilution is a common tactic, so most tests are designed to check for this. Stick one of those thc dip strips in water, and it will show negative, but the control line will give you away. That control line is testing for urine, not water. Things like creatinine and other compounds that are normally found in urine. Also color, if it’s clear, you wont pass.

What you need to do to mask your dilution strategy is add extra color and creatine, which breaks down to creatinine, to your system.

B-complex vitamins, the cheap ones from wal-mart, add plenty of color to your piss. It will make it neon yellow on a normal day, and during the woosh it will look fairly normal.

Next is creatine, you can get this from red meat, fish, and supplements. I eat a lot of meat and fish already. So, I use an energy drink called bang for my creatine. It has a ton of taurine and caffeine in it, so it’s not for everybody, but it works for me. Not only as a source of creatine, but to help get the woosh started.

So, 3 days out, eating way more than normal, and drinking a lot of water. If you’re doing creatine supplements, you should be taking them now until after you test according to the package instructions.

2 days out, I drink a bang and continue drinking water and eating a lot of carbs and fat. I test late in the day or before bed just to gauge how I’m doing. I frequently will still be positive at this point, but I don’t panic. If I test first thing in the morning, I will be positive. In fact, I tested myself at several points during the process just recently to show you. Pic at the end.

The day before the test. More of the same. This last time, I tested positive first thing in the morning on this day, but by noon, when I was pissing about every hour, I was borderline negative. Right on track... Drink my second bang, and test in the evening. This one should be negative, if it isn’t, you might need to consider fake urine.

The day of the test. Eat and drink! I do my third bang and a big breakfast. Then I self-test. If this one isn’t negative, I’m fucked, but it hasn’t been a problem If I’ve done everything right so far. I still do it for confidence at the testing facility. I take a couple water bottles with me and drink one on the way and one in the waiting room.

Take the test. Don’t be an idiot and try something stupid. They have seen it all. If you were positive on your self test, you will be here too. If you didn’t make alternate plans like a fake pee kit by this point, oh well...

Also, try your best to stay clean for a few more days just to be sure until you are on the job. No news is good news, and asking about it is a red flag for sure.

After I start the job, I celebrate with a big, fat blunt. Until the next contract...

Further reading: Google “creatine”, “woosh urine” “thc metabolites” Any search involving “thc”, “detox”, or anything related to passing a drug test will result in lots of good information mixed with claims that the only way to do it successfully is to use a certain product. Trust me, those products, if they work at all, are variations on this method. And this way is much cheaper...

Here is a link to the pictures of the tests, dated. I tested on the 30th. And just to prove a point, I just did another test, and I’m still positive. Proving that this is dilution, not total “detoxing”.

https://m.imgur.com/a/Emer67b - And yes, they’re upside down, you can still see the damn lines. And according to the test website, even the faintest presence of a “T” line is considered negative.

Peace.

Tl;dr - Just fucking read it.

Submitted July 01, 2018 at 04:04PM by stonerdaddy via reddit

#IFTTT #reddit #Ismokeit.net #ismokeit

[tendercoretroglodyke]

#panic #its ok