#this was god giving you a second chance

[sapphire-weapon]

I’m about to vomit out a bunch of thoughts, and I’m not sure any of this is going to make sense by the end, but. I’ve been thinking a LOT about these three lines in RE4make:

“You haven’t changed. You just think you have.”

“You can’t save her. You can’t save anyone.”

“This time, it has to be different...”

I’ve seen people focus in on that Krauser line and tie it directly back to Sherry, which is cool! Even as recently as five years ago, people completely glossed over Sherry’s impact on Leon’s life, and it’s cool that the remakes have had people digging into his character and realizing “oh shit, literally everything that happens to him after RE2 is because of his paternal love for Sherry.”

But... Krauser’s line is about more than just her.

With the remake turning Krauser into Leon’s combat trainer, chances are he knows about everything that happened in Raccoon City. And I don’t mean, like. He read a government file. Leon probably told him.

In OG, Krauser and Leon have this exchange of dialogue:

Krauser: “What is it that you fight for, comrade?” Leon: “My past, I suppose.” Krauser: “Hmph. Umbrella.”

It was axed completely from the remake, because it doesn’t make sense for it to happen in the remake. If Krauser was Leon’s trainer, that question was probably asked very early in their relationship. And since they weren’t currently in a fight to the death, and because they weren’t already six years removed from Raccoon City, chances are, Leon’s answer was a bit more involved than just “my past.”

So, let’s back up a little bit. In RE2make, they basically turned Kendo into a completely different character. OG Kendo was literally just there to point a shotgun at Leon and/or Claire and then go “oh my bad you’re not a zombie” and hook them up with some guns before he gets eaten. In RE2make, he’s a desperate and terrified father just trying to spend his last few moments with his infected 6 or 7 year old daughter before she turns. After he shuts the door on Leon and Ada, Leon turns to Ada and says, “Protecting people like that is why I joined the force.”

But Leon doesn’t protect or save Kendo or his daughter. He doesn’t protect or save... anyone. Every single person that Leon comes into contact with and tries to save dies horrifically -- and some, he even has to kill, himself (Marvin Branaugh). The only people who make it out of Raccoon City alive are people who saved themselves (Claire and Ada).

Of course, there is Sherry. But Leon didn’t save Sherry; Claire did. ESPECIALLY in remake canon, since nearly all of Leon’s scenes with Sherry got severely shortened or removed completely in RE2make.

But then, when Claire entrusts Sherry to Leon’s care (on his own insistence, per her RE3 epilogue), he goes and fucks that up, too. Gets her kidnapped and held hostage indefinitely by the federal government, and the only thing he can do about it is do exactly as they say and just hope they keep their end of the bargain and not hurt her.

So, when Krauser says “You can’t save anyone,” he means anyone. Ever. And even up to that point in RE4... Leon got the two officers who drove him into town killed, and he watched Luis die a slow, agonizing death right in front of him. And then, past that point, Leon has to kill Krauser with his own hands. Then he watches Mike die.

Ashley is literally Leon’s first and only success story, up to this point in canon. (And even when you go all the way up to current-day canon, Ashley is one of... three? People? I can think of? Total? Who Leon actually saves?)

So, Leon saying, “This time, it has to be different,” he doesn’t just mean Sherry. He means Ada. He means Kendo. He means Marvin. He means the entirety of Raccoon City. He’s staring down a repeat of what happened back then, not in terms of the bioterror situation, but in terms of his own personal failures. His survivor’s guilt. He can’t handle the thought that he’ll be the only person to walk away again -- and he refuses to be.

And that’s why Ada’s line bothers me so fucking much.

I mean, first of all -- Ada, you haven’t seen this man in six years, and you’ve spent a total of like five minutes with him since meeting up with him again here, so how the fuck would you even know -- but even aside from that...

To be clear: she’s right.

But she’s also wrong.

Leon has changed -- to an extent. In RE2 (OG or remake), Leon honestly believed that if it was lawful, then it was also morally right. He doesn’t believe that anymore. There’s no more “letting the law sort it out” or trusting in the power of authority for him anymore. His moral compass has been boiled down to: “If you hurt or murder innocent people, you’re a fucking asshole, and I don’t really care who you are, I’ll kill you myself.”

RE2 Leon was willing to hear people out and give them an honest benefit of the doubt -- even Annette Birkin. RE4 Leon just tells people to shut the fuck up before opening fire.

RE2 Leon was honest and trusting to a fault, and he felt stronger as part of a team. RE4 Leon is suspicious almost to the point of paranoia, and he just wants to be left the fuck alone to do his job.

These are all things that were really important to who Leon was in Raccoon City, and they’re reasons why things turned out the way they did for him, back then.

But at the same time, Ada’s right in saying that, at the core of it all, Leon is still that kind-hearted, decent guy who just wants the good guys to win and the bad guys to lose. That’s why it hits him somewhere sensitive when Krauser says: “You can’t save anyone.” 

It’s just that, now, the way he approaches it is different. His outlook on life in terms of his goals is different. His expectations for it have changed.

So, if Leon had been smarter/wittier, he absolutely could have turned it around on her and said: “No, I’ve definitely changed. You just think I haven’t.”

And not only would that sound threatening as fuck, he’d also be right. They both would be, at that point.

And for all of those major parts of him to have changed and still be facing down the possibility of failing every single person he comes across, especially Ashley...

"This time, it has to be different.”

And this time, it was.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #meta analysis #and it WOULDN'T have been different if leon hadn't changed #could you imagine how RE4 would've ended if leon was still his RE2 self and tried to apprehend krauser instead of killing him #or like give him a second chance #like 'i beat you now you can repent' #fucking LUL #that's how you fucking die comrade #unfortunately leon succeeding in RE4 also taught him to emotionally close himself off and push everyone away #classical conditioning and all that #but that's a separate post for a separate time #if they ever remake RE6 watch me clown honk my way through leon and sherry's fucked up relationship #claire goes to see sherry regularly and leon admits out loud he hasn't even spoken to her in at least 3 years #and then chokes up with tears when he finally sees her again #smfh he's so fucking stupid #leon if you can't cope with your trauma properly then just shut up and keep drinking god i can't stand you #one day i'll also write a big post about leon's suicidal ideation #today is not that day #but one day

[keikoayano]

Thinking about the yearning when Eurylochus says “let’s just cut our losses, you and I, and let’s run”

He’s not saying to forget those they’ve lost, he’s not saying to undo what has been done, he’s not blaming Odysseus (at this moment) for the consequences of his decisions. He reminds Odysseus of this all, sure, but not to be negative or force Odysseus to confront what they’ve lived through. He’s begging Odysseus to see things from his point-of-view.

He doesn’t want to lose Odysseus on top of everything else, even though he’s watching Odysseus change in front of him from the captain that he’s known, from the friend that he’s known for years. He doesn’t want to lose what few men are left. He doesn’t want to lose another self-proclaimed brother - they’ve both lost Polites already.

He just wants to grab Odysseus and get everyone remaining home, even if that means turning and running

#epic the musical #personal #I’M HAVING MANY EMOTIONS OVER HOW THAT LINE IS SUNG #there’s an ever so slight upwards pitch when he says run #it’s the last straw for him #it’s the last chance he gives Odysseus before their relationship changes permanently #before Eurylochus is FORCED to change their relationship forever because he can’t get through to Odysseus any other way #because he’s been TRYING to get through to him as Odysseus is changed by the loss and the influences of the people/gods around him #like if someone grabbed your hand and gently pulled it #squeezed their hand in yours #and BEGGED you to look at things from their view for even a moment #and Odysseus can’t do that #not at this point in their journey #he’s already been changed too much for that #and to have Eurylochus say that he wants to turn away and run #has SUCH an impact bc this is his second-in-command #this is the person that the entire fleet would look to for direction if anything happened to Odysseus #and he wants to RUN. he wants Odysseus to RUN. imagine how Eurylochus feels as the second-in-command suggesting that they leave the men #behind on the island #these are his men just as much as they are Odysseus’ men #but he’s at such a breaking point that if it meant everyone else could remain safe #Odysseus included #then he would RUN #I know that a bunch of versions portray Eurylochus and cowardly and troublesome but that’s not true at all for EPIC’s version of him #at least in my opinion

[tabernacleheart]

It is very important that we should understand just how Jesus did treat [the sinner]. It is easy to draw the wrong lesson altogether and to gain the impression that Jesus forgave lightly and easily, as if the sin did not matter. [In truth, however, He did not effectively] abandon judgment and say, "Don't worry; it's quite all right." [He never pretended that sin had no consequence, or that it did no harm. Rather, in both mercy and justice,] what He did was, as it were, to defer sentence. He said, "I am not going to pass a final judgment now [for I do not wish to lose you to sin; therefore,] go and prove that you can do better. [Yes,] you have sinned; [but] go and sin no more, and I'll help you all the time. At the end of [your efforts] we will, [together,] see how you have lived." [Always,] Jesus' attitude to the sinner involved [a] second chance. It is as if Jesus said to [each hurting soul]: "I know you have made a mess of things; but life is not finished yet; I am giving you another chance, the chance to redeem yourself, [for that is what I truly wish for you]." ...In Jesus there is the gospel of the second chance. He was always intensely interested, not only in what a person had been, but also in what a person could be. He did not say that what they had done did not matter– broken laws and broken hearts always matter– but He was sure that every man has a future as well as a past, [and He strove to lovingly yet firmly draw every sin-wounded soul into that healing hope with Him.] He did not say: "It's all right; don't worry; just go on as you are doing." He said: "It's all wrong, [but it can change]; go out and fight; change your life from top to bottom; go, and sin no more." Here was no easy forgiveness; here was a challenge which pointed a sinner to heights of goodness of which [they] had never dreamed, [while graciously giving, in Himself, the vital strength & encouragement to reach those lofty realities]. Jesus confronts the bad life with the challenge of the good, [and so flings wide the doors of hope. By all this we see that] the amazing, heart-uplifting thing about Him was His belief in men and women. When He was confronted with someone who had gone wrong, He did not say: "You are a wretched and a hopeless creature." He said: "Go, and sin no more." He believed that with His help the sinner has it in him to become the saint. His method was not to blast men with the knowledge-- which they already possessed-- that they were miserable sinners, but to inspire them with the unglimpsed discovery that they were potential saints.

William Barclay

#jesus christ #This moves me to tears #divine mercy #this means so much to me #forgiveness #Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future #remember this #God desires that all men be saved #the love of god #God loves you #Pity #Mercy #Second chances #do not despair #There is hope for you #true christianity #Judge not #Plans to give you a future and a hope

[merakiui]

you dreamt scara kissed you 😳😳😳 uuuu that's so sweet...

once I had a dream that azul gave me his credit card to use for some reason and I bought something really small (like worth 8 bucks or so) and ended up calling him on my phone and being super adamant that I would pay him back and how I really didn't want to spend anything in the first place. I remember he sounded really distracted and kind of hushed, so I asked if I called at a bad time or if he was busy to which he replied "....no, of course not. I'm completely free" turns out he was most definitely not free, and I called him while he was in a business meeting. and being the simp he is, he picked it up right away in front of everyone before leaving the room lmao

I wish I had more blorbo dreams esp romantic ones like you had with scara but my brain would rather it show me getting chased endlessly instead 👉👈

Holding that dream close to my heart!! <3 it was so sweet, too. We were holding eye contact for the longest time and he whispered, "Can I kiss you?" with the most sincere, softest expression ever and omg!!! It was a romantic film moment! >0<

Aaaa that's so cute!!!! Azul will always be a simp no matter where he is. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) How generous of him to lend his credit card!!!! He is a sweetheart when he truly cares hehe!! I like that he will always choose you even when he's in a business meeting. Business is not nearly as important as answering a phone call from his crush. >:D

I wish I could have more romantic dreams as well! Although speaking of being chased, I do remember I had a dream where Floyd kept chasing me down and confessing over and over. I'm pretty sure that dream ended with lots of kisses lol. I am not immune to the love language of eels. There was also a vivid dream I had in which I pulled Halloween Jade back when I was fighting for my life trying to summon him, and when I logged into twst that morning (fully expecting to see Halloween Jade) I was disheartened to realize it had only happened in the dream. T_T

#twisted chit chat #dubioussupernova #i think i may have to write more fluff with scara after having that cute dream :D #he will definitely need it after the agony i will put him through in the upcoming mouchey fic #although i'm very tempted to write a plot in which a god (nahida) gives scaramouche a second chance after taking pity on him #so she allows him to redo his entire life #and he accepts her offer (though he scoffs at her sympathy) #but in his attempt to right wrongs and get proper successful revenge he loses the only one who truly cared for him (his darling) #and so now he has to go through this new version of his life in search of you #all while clinging to the hope that you'll recognize him and love him all over again #each time he finds himself unsuccessful nahida allows him to restart but things only get more obscure with every reset #and scara learns that revenge isn't worth it if he can't have love #it sounds more like angst than fluff but if i ever write it the ending will definitely be fluffy #scara deserves it <3 #aaaaa i'm rambling please excuse it orz

[leefi]

growing up by chicago has spoiled me rotten. i visit any other major metropolitan city and my reaction is always …oh! is that it?

#the only other metropolis that’s ever truly impressed me was tokyo. good god i LOVED tokyo #though ​to clarify I’m talking specifically about metropolises (and what makes a metropolis good) here #there are tons of cities I’ve been to that are incredibly impressive by other metrics #(Istanbul’s unique location; Florence’s historical architecture; Seville’s food; etc.) #but Chicago is just a truly good CITY. perfect size diverse walkable on a waterfront gorgeous architecture nice people. i love it sm #London really impressed me as a teenager but lost the allure as I grew up (a lot of my moms family relocated there so I went often) #woof #anyway I’m in LA for the first time right now and tell me why it’s like 30 different suburbs shoved together #it’s only my second day so I’m not hardcore judging yet!! gonna let an opinion develop. I get the feeling #there’s tons of good culture here but it’s fragmented and you need to go looking for it #also the wealth inequality is horrifying. they weren’t kidding #it’s SO EXPENSIVE EVERYWHERE #some family friends took us out walking to santa monica pier last night and they had to take a break like 20 minutes into the walk #because they fucking drive everywhere!!! #anyways. i feel like i need to give nyc another chance too but i don't know when i'll get to go #anyways again. chicago sweep. best city in da world.

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

the light dragon the FUCKING LIGHT DRAGON

#most of totk can rot but. god. the light dragon. the silent princesses at the final memory. #she literally makes me insane. god. #i have to give nintendo this. even if it was butchered at the end (although i dont really care). they came up with a banger concept #god the SILENT PRINCESSES. DO YOU HEAR ME. A WHOLE PATCH OF THEM APPEARS. OIT OF FUCKING NOWHERE. #WHEN IT ALL FINALLY BECOMES CLEAR THAT ZELDA *IS* THE SILENT PRINCESS NOW. #A SILENT PRINCESS ON A 10000 YEAR JOURNEY TO GIVE LINK EVEN A CHANCE OF DEFEATING GANONDORF #fuck. FUCK. #im sorry no matter how much i hate parts of totk i wont ever be able to be not insane about the light dragon #ououooough i cant be. i literally cant i just THINK about the light dragon for more than 10 seconds and i go absolutely insane. #fuck this shit man. second pov link fic. i dont care how long it takes im gonna write it. #totk #totk spoilers #totk zelda #totk light dragon

[theinfinitedivides]

hey does SRK giving the locker room speech during the last half hour of Chak De! India (2007) cause you to spiral into an emotional meltdown late at night or are you normal somewhat

#film: chak de india #chak de india #bollywood #local gay watches Bollywood.txt #no but you don't understand #'go. go and steal those seventy minutes from yourself. from your life. from God. from anyone that did not have faith in you. #go and steal your seventy minutes.' #i usually have a rule of thumb when it comes to my consumption of the Bollywood industry #and that is to never thank Salman Khan for anything #but i am making an exception here #ty Salman Khan for turning down this role so i could sit here and say that it has been added #to the ever growing list of things that chemically altered my brain #Shah Rukh said this for me #he came out here in 2007 and said this for me after giving this role a second chance bc he knew #he knew!!! #all the way in 2022 i would need to hear this #crying and shaking rn sir iconic performance

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

you ever hangout with someone and their company is actually much worse than being alone?

#she came over and we watched hasee toh phasee together okay #bc she said she hadn't seen it and i was like huh wtf!!!!! #terrible idea she doesn't deserve to see that movie it was so perfect she didn't ruin it exactly bc it's my fav #movie ever and she's not important enough to change that #but god it was annoying having her next to me i wanted her to go away and watch it on my own😭😭 #she kept looking at her phone on super important scenes and she kept saying arey she should find out about them where is the spice #and i kept saying this isn't about spice it's sweet heartwarming story about love and doomed relationships and father daugter rships #but she didn't appreciate it #i need to watch the movie again on my own to cleanse myself from the negativity ew #and she said i had so much fun let's do this again help😭😭 meko nahi karna never again #time to subtly start ignoring her so she gets the message and leave me alone #i already got the ick from her when she acted that way over parents but i was like ivy no ppl aren't perfect give her a second chance you #friends you're really lonely your internet friends are great but they can't sit next to you and talk to you #but i was wrong being lonely is better she's just so. wrong😭 #i kept thinking she's literally worse than everyone in my life i would have had more fun watching it with my MOM😭 #and my sis loves this movie and my bestie loves this movie and my cousin sis also loves this movie #UGH

[wishmemel]

chan hating himself is my roman empire

#how can someone so strong and capable and talented and gorgeous hate himself so much #like my god he’s so devastating #everything about him is laced with tragedy #the whole idea of loving him from afar (or any idol at all) and watching them say things like that about themself #and just not being able to. do. anything? #it’s so frustrating that the only way this works is that he has to put in the effort and realize his own worth but we don’t know if he does #or even will #because you can’t force someone to love them self or fix themself right #you can only love them through it and hope it’s enough #but it’s just sooo frustrating i’m #head in my hands he’s so devastating #i wish he was different #:(( #he’s so beautiful and so precious i’m so ill #i wanna give him the world #and the way he always stands in the back and observes the group as if he’s detached from this whole reality #as if he’s somewhere else completely #the way he once said that if it weren’t for the members and skz he wouldn’t even be alive #like he got a second chance at life #like he was saved all because of them #the heartbreaking way he said ‘you don’t care about me’ to minho like he really believed that #oh i wish someone would just grab his face and drill it into his head that he’s loved and he’s important and he matters !!! #he’s so me i’m so him #maybe that’s why i find him so tragic #it’s a loop #waiting to find the thing that saves me #or maybe it’s just the small things around me that i’ve been taking for granted #꒰ soon you'll get better. ꒱

[sashannarcy]

ultimately Sashanne truthers did win. was it explicitly confirmed canon? no. but I think Sasha being bisexual says a HELL of a lot about WHY she acted the way she did towards Anne

#you have this beautiful tragic arc that's all about a character being unhealthily devoted to their best friend #they see themself as her protector but they also NEED her #and that desperation results in a major breach of trust to the point where things between them feel unable to be fixed #but then. THEN they WORK on themself. they grow they change they realize their devotion was unhealthy #and she comes back. and she's more than willing to give them a second chance bc oh god she missed them she's just glad they're alive #and then this arc resolves itself in show through an 'ending' in which they're still extremely devoted to her but healthily this time #and now we have canon confirmation that sasha's attracted to women. ur gonna look me in the eye and tell me their arc isn't meant to be #read as romantic? #I say this from the bottom of my heart bc I wholeheartedly believe the writers never intended for sasha's actions to be strictly platonic #they got away w what they could in a disney show #but like man. MAN #sasha waybright #sashanne #amphibia

[todayisafridaynight]

snap...whats a hobby you think daigo would have..*looks up from google docs* dont ask why...

i think bro LOVES to watch his fireplace

#snap chats #IM JOKING IM JOKING IMJOKINGLKJ #in truth idk... when does daigo ever get the chance to relax.... #he might like the occasional trip to the arcade... maybe he /would/ like fireplace watching.. a moment of reprieve ☠️ #cant go wrong with batting cages right... everyone likes baseball <- absolutely knows no one likes baseball #hm. you got me there anon. #mine on the other hand i can so easily see having hobbies- if thats surprising to anyone #what a real question huh.. #oh god maybe hes like my sister and he just doesnt have any #cause now that i think of it my sister doesnt have hobbies either #MY DUMBASS WAS ABOUT TO ASK IF /I/ HAD ANY HOBBIES LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BLOG THEN NUMB NUTS #anyway. sorry anon i wasnt of any help at all #EYA WAIT I REMEMBER DAIGO HAS A POCKET CIRCUIT TROPHY #i think he's first or second place but he's a fan of pocket circuit- or he was as a kid #maybe he still enjoys it casually- he might still have an old car or two tucked away... #maybe daigo would like model building.. not BIG big models but just small ones that don't require too much painting #nothing with a lot of pieces or parts either- he's a busy guy he doesn't want unfinished stuff hanging around too long #i cant give you a definitive answer but i've surely got the ball rolling... i think... #i just know if you asked he'd awkwardly show you an old pocket circuit car he built with kiryu

[no1ryomafan]

The worst thing I have realized upon me having so much extension mecha knowledge despite not watching a lot of mechas and more specifically knowing how much significance Getter Robo, my favorite one, has to the genre despite no one outside of Japan talking about it much is the fact it being the first combiner is what led to fucking Voltron happening.

Because Voltron, originally known as “GoLion” in Japan, was likely based off of either Combattler V or Voltes V because they are all “mecha’s piloted by five people, and the former ABSOLUTELY was inspired off of Getter-The main pilots name is fucking Hyoma, even if that is a actual Japanese name that’s just Ryoma with the first letter change-given Getter was the first mecha to do multiple people in robots or more or less “combiner” mecha.

So if I wanted to compare Getter to something more known I could say “yeah it’s kinda like Voltron because there’s multiple people in the robot” until I remember how Voltron is literally one of the most infamous shows just thanks to its reboot and I would not be surprised that it’s probably a factor as to why people are turned off from trying mecha even if it was (technically) a western one for the reboots case.

Because as a outsider my GOD it seemed like a dumpster fire in both writing and the fandom.

#meg text #getter robo #voltron #I had this realization for like a day or two and I still hate it #thank god I feel more inclined to use my Tumblr then twit for my random rants now bc I’d be cooked for this #If someone reblogs with “is Klance Hayaryo in this context” I will scream at you #also I still stand by my point people are generally too hard on mecha for the dumbest things #but if you say “one bad show turned me off from the genre” I find it more understandable than the fucking deconstruction takes #still should give it a second chance but if it’s Voltron I absolutely get it LOL #Also expect more rants later because my brain is full of thoughts but they’re all unrelated and I don’t wanna spam my blog every hour

[infizero]

shut UPPPPPPPPPPP someone just put the clip of tiny manticore telling betty "maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore" with simon trying to bring back betty back ohhhh i feel sick

#thats it exactly. #i reallyyyyy think its a good conclusion. betty probably SHOULD HAVE just accepted that simon was gone and learned to appreciate ice king #for who he was. it was seemingly impossible to get him back. she literally had to become part of a fucking chaos god just to do it #and this sacrifice really seemed to only hurt them both in the long run. and then it was reversed - simon tries to bring betty back #which is similarly impossible. but instead of letting him make some sort of crazy sacrifice like she did. she has finally realized that #she may have made the wrong choice and she wont let him do the same. its breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice its making up for her mistake #its her saying i may have ruined our chances of happiness together because i couldnt accept that you had changed. #there isnt any way for us to be together now. but i wont let you do the same. i gave up everything to let you have a second chance at life #and perhaps that was a mistake. but dont let it go to waste. dont give up everything like i did. just live your life. #let me go. let me let YOU go. accept that the past is flawed and beautiful and you cannot return to it. just let it exist as the past. #and keep that love in your heart and let yourself actually have a future instead of clinging onto these impossible hopes of returning #to that past. do what i did not. #godddddd the full-circleness of it all. i love these two so much #im so happy they finally got closure #serena.txt

[alexnooah]

.

#literally gonna fucking end it rn #my fucking god #do you ever get evicted because your mom died so you lost your job #and then in the process of finding a new job your landlords kick your partner out of your house #after saying 3 times that they could move in #and then give both of you covid #and then because you had to cancel every single fucking job interview you had you still don’t have a job #so you can’t fully pay rent #so your landlord says you can set up a payment plan #and you give them $500 and now have -$30 in your bank account because of course #so what do they do? knowing that you currently have no job and no income? they evict you #i have paid my rent on time every fucking month #i never make noise #i never complain even tho trust there’s lots to complain about #the worst thing i’ve done in their eyes is use the dryer after 9pm #but instead of getting a second chance or anything i get them at my door smiling and giddy to evict me #i’m done i can’t do this anymore #maybe the world isn’t a good place and people aren’t kind and everything is fucking meaningless #maybe i’ve spent my whole life being a pathetic fool for thinking otherwise #anyways that all hehe #el em ay oh

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

Tideturners: The Sidewinder

“Spend enough time in the Mists, and you’re bound to meet the most fascinating people.”

The Sidewinder went by another name, once. She sailed the seas, swindled and cheated, ransacked and pillaged. A pirate’s life was a harsh one-- unforgiving, violent, and usually sodden with salt water. Even among them she was fierce and unrelenting, a bold captain who fought tooth and nail to maintain the confidence of her crew. She made a name for herself, in spite of her rough origins and all the people who didn’t believe she could.

Her name was Mai Trin... But she doesn’t go by that name anymore.

It’s said that there’s many versions of Tyria scattered through the Mists. Countless, even. Sometimes they even clash, fighting for the resources that crop up in the gaps between worlds. Some are better off than others.

Hers is nothing but a memory now, and the origin of an ever-growing shadow that most will never see-- if they’re lucky. Some histories are best left buried.

“We’re the Tideturners, and we won’t be washed away.”

It all began with a simple proposition; a certain sylvari and a certain alliance, and an ill-fated plan to change the world. But this time, something was different.

The Commander of her world wasn’t quite like most. Brutal, relentless, and arguably more dead inside than the corpse minions he commanded. His lack of morals and intense ambition caught Scarlet’s attention, and she decided to invite him aboard the operation. He was an expert in slaying the dragons and their minions, and such insight could be invaluable with the goals she had in mind.

But this proved to be a dreadful miscalculation. Commander Ruju saw no difference between a rebelling dragon minion and a willing one. When the asura recognized seeds of corruption in her mind, he held no mercy.

And with the head cut off the snake, Ruju made his declaration; either what remained of the slain Briar’s alliance would fall in step under him willingly, or their remains would serve him in death. He was an ardent follower of the principles of Oola; necromancy and golemancy were destined to collide, and any who stood in his way would provide the materials to make that dream reality.

Captain Mai Trin recognized then that this wasn’t the Alliance she’d once believed in. The first to have believed her capable of greatness was dead, and Ruju saw them all as nothing more than replaceable cogs in his perpetual war machine. There was no future there, for the Captain or her crew.

Mai took any Aetherblades who were still loyal to her and fled into the Mists.

She’d spend the rest of her life wondering if they could have won when there was still something left of their world to save. Now they’ll never know.

“I spent most of my life making the wrong choices.”

“But if I can still accomplish something worthwhile with whatever time I have left, that’s what I’m going to do. I owe it to all the people who should be here instead of me.”

In the Mists, she and her Aetherblades cut their own path and their own future, far from Ruju’s war against dragons and Tyrians alike. They built a hideaway within turbulent lands where even time itself held no stability, a fortress that they prayed would never be found by the former allies they left behind.

Within the Mists, they thrived by learning to ransack Fractals. Taking from the echoes of realities that could have been, they found every resource they could ever need to survive. Food and water, technology, replacement parts, weapons and armor, raw materials... Whatever they needed, the Fractals would provide.

It was there that Mai would seek out the guidance of a familiar voice; she reached into the shadows, and the echoes answered, whispering. Scarlet Briar became her ally once more, offering advice and frustration in equal measure.

For a long time, it was just them. Mai, her Aetherblades, and the whispers of a mastermind who’d once promised them the path to greatness.

Years came and went, and the war of their world marched on, and on. Its consequences would soon prove unthinkable-- and inescapable. There were some lines not even pirates would cross. But Ruju held no such reservations.

Mai’s echo felt something within their world, a tie that snapped like brittle thread. For the first time, she was told-- begged-- pleaded with-- to return. Never before had the pirate experienced such a pull. Nor could she begin to imagine just what, exactly, had rendered the sylvari so inconceivably distraught.

And so they returned to Tyria for the first time. Airships flickered back into existence from the Mists, materializing over the skies of the Maguuma jungle.

The landscape below them was not the world they knew. Not anymore.

“... Scarlet wanted to change the world, you know. We all did. She inspired people just like Ruju, once. However you feel about that, there were plenty who believed that anything would be better than what they already had.”

“I can’t say it would’ve been, knowing what I know now. But at least she planned on there still being a world by the time she was done, whatever it would’ve become.”

The Grove was nearly unrecognizable. If not for the crumpled remains of the Pale Tree’s vast branches, she might not have realized what it even was.

Tunnels had been torn through the earth, vast caverns that formed what could only be described as a hive. The forest was teeming with massive insectoid beasts that only later would she learn had a name; the chak.

What had once been the sylvari capital city lay in ruins. The Pale Tree was dead. And under the shadow of her fading leaves hid what would, in another world, have been Tyria’s greatest hope. Mai wasn’t sure what drew her eye to that thicket and its glittering occupants, but the moment she laid eyes upon it, she knew she couldn’t just turn away.

So she called over her most loyal crew members, and they descended into the wreckage to seek something far more precious than any gold.

Broken bodies and dented armor littered the forest floor, yet they paid it no heed, cutting through the swaths of chak and stepping past pools of acid to reach their destination. It was there that Mai would be faced with the choice that would change her life-- and the lives of her remaining Aetherblades-- forever.

“... I’m no hero, or freedom fighter, or ‘chosen one’ or anything glamorous like that. I’m just the last line of defense, if you can say that when there’s so little left.”

“I’m the one they call in because everybody else is already dead. I don’t save the day, it’s already too late for that. I just clean up the rubble you so-called ‘heroes’ leave behind, bury the bodies your wars leave to rot on the battlefield, and patch up the few survivors who got caught in the crossfire.”

“Be careful where you toss that title around, ‘Commander.’ It doesn’t mean what you think it does, not around here.”

Hidden in the shrubbery was what remained of the Exalted; they had long since fled Tarir, their home utterly destroyed by a three-way war between Mordremoth’s minions, the chak, and Ruju’s Alliance. Their grand city was no more, and the same fate had befallen so much of the jungle that it even put the pirates on edge. As it turned out, Ruju had injected a mass quantity of highly toxic biochemicals into Mordremoth’s vegetation, but the poison had killed far more than just the dragon.

The dragon wasn’t just connected to the jungle; it was the jungle. And as it coursed through every vine, leaf, and root, it carried its deadly effects throughout the entire region. The chak fed on mass amounts of released ley energy from the killed vegetation, and since the chemical was only lethal to plants, they survived-- and thrived. Their population grew and grew and grew, evolving to utilize this new resource that now dominated their domain.

And as their numbers multiplied and their evolution accelerated... Their domain grew right along with them, undermining the entire landscape all the way into Kessex Hills. The Pale Tree had been a recent casualty; weakened first by an attack from the dragon and then from the poison seeping into her soil, she didn’t stand a chance when the insects reached their doorstep.

Now, with Ruju’s armies on the march across the continent, they had nowhere left to go. Their last shelter was in ruins, and the Exalted’s precious cargo was in jeopardy. It was only then that they would offer the last thing they had to give to the only hope they had left. Mai and her pirates weren’t the ideal alliance, but there was nowhere else left to turn.

Even the sylvari who had brought it to Tarir lay among the dead now. Mai didn’t know her name, back then. But her invocation did-- and whispered it as they looked upon the shining egg that should have been Tyria’s last hope.

‘Oh Caithe. You poor fool. I always knew your devotion would get you killed.’

“... You know, it’s almost funny. Most sailors believe in some kind of superstition, but I never did. If there was any ‘higher power’ out there, it didn’t care about us. We survived because we fought tooth and nail for every scrap. The open sea had no mercy, so neither did we.”

“And then I saw that egg, shining like a beacon in the ruins of a dead city that called to me with its last breath. And I just... Knew. Guess sometimes it takes the end of the world to really put things into perspective, huh?”

The crew was conflicted; some wanted to simply steal the egg and make off with it, but what then? The Exalted would fight to their last armor, and what would they even do with it? It only had value if they could sell it, and who would be its buyer? Certainly not Ruju, and no one else would want it. It was too precious, too powerful, too important to be treated as a mere treasure.

Mai and her invocation came to a joint conclusion-- one of which neither was certain, but both knew was unavoidable. Mai offered the strange, ethereal beings her hand. There was one path forward, and she was going to take it.

An alliance was forged, that day. And that was the day that the Aetherblades were no more. A new name was born, one that would echo through the Mists as it rippled across the fabric of fate-- a reflection of what they would become, and what they were going to do from that moment on.

They would be the Tideturners, one final holdout against impossible odds. And even if they couldn’t save this Tyria from the cataclysm to come, maybe they would still be able to save something else.

“I’m going to tell you a secret: nobody comes to live in the Mists if they have somewhere better to stay. We aren’t the only ones out here, but we all have something in common. We’re all running from something, hoping whatever we find out here will be better than what we’re trying to escape. Most times, it’s hard for it to be worse.”

“The Turnabout isn’t a vacation spot, or a military base, or anything like that. It’s a refuge for people who don’t have anywhere else to go. We don’t ask questions because we all have our secrets, and nobody needs to know who we were before, just who we choose to be now.”

“Those people are dead and gone, and they’re never coming back. We’re just the ghosts they left behind.”

The last of the Exalted were brought into the Mists aboard Aetherships, and settled into the fortress that would one day become known as the Turnabout. Glint’s last egg was safeguarded in the last place it might truly be out of Ruju’s reach, and in return, the Exalted offered their own magical knowledge to upgrade the facility’s defenses.

New weaponry was developed-- unique combinations of their ancient secrets and the steam-powered technology utilized by the Aetherblades. EX-Cannons were designed that would even act as an extension of the Exalted themselves, allowing the armor beings to interface more directly with the fortress’s defenses. And as knowledge of the continued destruction of their world slipped through the cracks, the sentiment began to slowly shift.

Even pirates had standards, morals that were too low even for them. They’d fight and plunder and pillage-- but this wasn’t about wealth or prestige or even survival, not anymore. And the more that Ruju’s army left naught but desolation in its wake, the clearer it became that this was far bigger than any of them.

It was the fall of Balthazar that shook the Mists, and tipped a far different scale than any had anticipated. Elder dragons were falling, one after the other. The fabric of magic was crumbling, and with it, their world, too. Scarlet began to whisper cryptic warnings of the ‘oblivion’ so soon to come.

Everything was about to get much, more worse.

“There’s worse fates than death. I know, I’ve seen my fair share. Corruption is pretty high on the list.”

“I could almost feel sorry for him, even after all this. I don’t know what Ruju is now, but he’s not an asura anymore. I’m not sure you can even call him alive. Whatever that magic did to him, there’s no turning back now.”

“It’s a part of him, and he’s a part of it, even if there’s not enough left of him to realize it for himself.”

Their scouts began to send back reports of a strange, dark substance that twisted even reality itself. It adhered to no laws of logic or physics, bending matter indiscriminately and killing everything that it didn’t consume. It was growing, faster and faster. If allying with the Exalted had been Mai’s turning point, this was the moment that would truly prove her change of heart.

The Tideturners returned to their world, one more, one final time. Their ships arrived to a Tyria ravaged by shadows and broken magic, this time on a mission that would have no happy ending; to get everyone out that would come, before there was nothing left to save at all. If the world had to end, they were going to salvage what little of it that they could. It would be here that Mai would don a mask for the first time, referring to herself as ‘the Sidewinder’ to conceal her identity. Her world would never trust their safety to a cutthroat pirate, but perhaps it could learn to trust a mysterious, unnamed Mists traveler instead.

Many were unwilling. They planned to fight until the end. Some were left behind, others were carried aboard, and a few even tried to fight the pirates themselves.

Captain Kiel was one of the ‘lucky’ few to be knocked out in the conflict and carried aboard; only after awakening would she discover what had happened. She’d spend the rest of her life coming to terms with it, just like so very many others. Eventually she would go on to become the Turnabout’s co-leader ‘Captain K’ alongside the Sidewinder, but that’s another story for another day.

That day would haunt the pirates for as long as they lived, for there were other things, dreadful, monstrous things, watching them with glowing eyes as they departed. The Mists were about to get a whole lot more dangerous...

The Grand High Sovereign didn’t go down with his world. And there were still so many, many other worlds out there for him to explore and dominate.

“We don’t worship the Six here. There’s only Five, and they don’t ask for our unconditional devotion. They know the role they played in our history, and we know it, too. When their people called out, they were silent. They left their worshipers to die until no one was left to pray.”

“They’re gods, but most of us treat them as guides, mentors, and allies. They don’t win our battles for us, and their power won’t turn the tide of war. That’s up to us. But they answer our questions, and offer their advice. They won’t save us, but if we know the right questions to ask, they’ll give us the tools to save ourselves.”

It would be in the years to follow that the Turnabout would change even more than it already had. Many refugees had fled into the Mists of their own accord, and now wandered among the shadows and demons with no direction and no resources. But they did not go unnoticed.

The Five remaining human gods had been watching. They dared not intervene with the god killer directly, but one thing became clear; if they stood by and did nothing, soon what little remained of their Tyria would crumble. Even the Turnabout itself wasn’t enough to keep them safe. Sooner or later something truly horrific would find them, and their last refuge would be wiped away as if it had never existed at all.

Despite their reluctance, Kormir eventually won the other gods over. They didn’t need to fight, but they did need to step in-- even if it wouldn’t be forever. A decision was made, and after far too long, contact was finally re-initiated-- and an offer was made to the survivors who remained.

The Five broke a piece off of their land in the Mists, Xotecha, and offered it as sacred ground for the Turnabout’s final iteration. Gathering the last stragglers, they aided in bringing the remains of their broken world to a safer location; the heart of a massive temporal storm, surrounded on all sides by walls of broken reality that nothing could easily pass.

And finally, they offered knowledge, one last boon that would teach the refugees how to navigate the Mists and its temporal instabilities more safely. Soon the Tideturners understood its intricacies better than any of them ever would have imagined, devising their own specialized suits that could insulate them from even the most severe and debilitating environments.

Eventually these suits would allow for the retrieval of the impossible and improbable, making for some unique new allies that would aid the Tideturners’ Mists excursions even further... But that, too, is a story for another day.

“Jade tech is really something, huh? It holds a magical charge like nothing else I’ve ever seen, even golem power cores can’t compare. It infuses the whole machine’s physical components with power, and you can do some very... Creative things with that kind of energy infusion.”

“That’s the most I can tell you about our systems, but I don’t think you’ll find anything like this outside the Turnabout. ‘ASP’ really is one of a kind.”

As the Turnabout’s population grew, so did its technological advancement and ingenuity. With it came iterations of Cantha’s jade tech, and new methods of energy channeling that entirely changed the way their facility operated. EX-Cannons were upgraded, and new technology allowed the Turnabout to revolutionize its entire interface in an entirely new way.

A new AI system was introduced to run the facility and aid the ever-growing population; ‘ASP,’ short for Automated Security Protocol. The Sidewinder oversaw its development, and became the head of security for the foreseeable future. The snarky, occasionally morbid AI soon proved to be an exceptional help around the Turnabout... With a sinister secret.

In truth, the ‘AI’ was no AI at all, but instead an extension of the Sidewinder’s secretive Scarlet Briar invocation. By directly interfacing her magic with the Turnabout’s jade tech energy conduits, she was able to devise a method of controlling everything remotely-- with Scarlet operating the machinery independently so she could focus on other matters. In order to maintain the connection, a pair of special magitech gauntlets were constructed with unique jade tech receptors that could channel her magic directly into the system, and generate a ‘tablet’ interface for ease of access anywhere.

Some would eventually become suspicious, but the more time passed, the more that the population came to determine that it didn’t make a difference. The AI was doing its job, Sidewinder was proving herself as an effective leader, and the Turnabout was providing for all of its residents with a surprising amount of efficiency.

Against all odds, people came to believe in the Sidewinder and the bold new world she helped to build. And, even if she knew there were plenty of others who would’ve been better suited to this position than her, Mai would fight every day to become the person that the Tideturners believed she was.

She wasn’t a hero, and she didn’t want to be one. But she could be a leader.

This would only be the beginning of their story, though... Ruju’s march would continue soon enough, and the Tideturners’ work will never be done. Not until the Grand High Sovereign and his void-enhanced army is finally laid to rest.

So, where are the Tideturners now..?

"In the taverns of Divinity's Reach, look for someone with a skull and sword tattoo on their upper arm. You'll see just the edge of it. Show them this coin, and tell them; 'I heard you're looking for lost treasure.'"

"They'll ask you; 'I'm always watching for hidden gems. How'd you find this?’ Answer them; 'it washed in on the tide.' They'll know what that means."

There are few groups more secretive than the Tideturners. Most would say they’re just a strange story whispered between Mist travelers, trying to explain shifting shadows in the distance and mysterious markings under rocks. Few outside their ranks have ever seen them, and even fewer knew what they saw.

Just know this; if the Sidewinder is about, the winds of fate are changing... And it’s likely not in your favor. Not because she brings trouble, but because she’s tracking the ones who do... And where Ruju goes, calamity is sure to follow.

So if you start seeing unidentifiable figures lurking on the horizon, and finding their sigil marked under arches, get ready. And if the Sidewinder drops by to share a drink and say hello, never let yourself forget she’s likely there on business. Ask her when the tide is coming in if you want the truth.

Where she comes from, there are no heroes, not anymore. The good ones never make it out alive. If you do, you’ll be the first.

So get ready... Because a storm is coming, and it’s closer than you think.

Additional Background Details and Headcanons:

- Mai adopted the nickname ‘Sidewinder’ due to its snake theming; I headcanon her to be of mixed Luxon (Serpent clan) and Elonian (Corsair) background, which in turn was why her ancestors weren’t living in Cantha; they left due to persecution from the Ministry of Purity, with her being the first to return after several generations of piracy on the fringes of Tyria. Likewise, Scarlet’s ‘AI’ persona was named ASP to match up with the snake theme.

- While the Sidewinder isn’t Aurene’s first choice as a Champion for various reasons, under certain circumstances she could, potentially, become the young dragon’s caretaker. However, the egg has not hatched as of yet; due to the differences during the time of Heart of Thorns, she didn’t gain as much magic from Mordremoth’s death and as such, hasn’t absorbed enough energy.

- In the significant amount of time spent separated from Mordremoth, ASP has effectively been ‘rehabilitated.’ While she often still makes snarky remarks and has a notably morbid sense of humor, she doesn’t act on her more violent impulses anymore and is actually highly defensive of her new home. Both she and the Sidewinder defend the Turnabout ferociously. Additionally, most Turnabout residents have become familiar with her since she often speaks through the intercoms and offers assistance for a variety of tasks.

- Most characters aren’t aware that the Sidewinder is Mai; those who do are mainly Captain Kiel and the former Aetherblades from her original timeline. Very few people actually made it out of her original Tyria, so there aren’t many who can-- or will-- confirm or deny her true identity. Some others they’ve taken in from later timelines (Agent Y and Joon, particularly) have a pretty solid guess due to knowing Mai in their own world, but can’t be certain.

- Due to the Sidewinder’s first experience with any ‘Commander’ being so overwhelmingly negative, she tends to be extremely cautious of any others she comes across using that moniker. Even the good ones tend to set her on edge; she’s seen enough timelines at this point to pick up on a pattern, and it always places them as a driving force of destiny. That said, she can grow friendly with Commanders on occasion, should they prove to be friendly in return.

- The Sidewinder never, ever introduces herself as Mai Trin, and her mask contains an auditory distortion module that disguises her voice. She never takes the mask off in public. It also contains numerous other mechanical and electronic components, including an internal screen and various overlays for observing various Turnabout statistics, and a sensory deprivation mode that blocks out visuals entirely if she needs to focus her revenant abilities.

- Her mask and gauntlets work in tandem to help focus the Sidewinder’s abilities; both have extensive jade conduits and circuitry built in, which allow ASP to interface with the Turnabout from anywhere and also prevent it from overwhelming her. If the Sidewinder is going into combat, though, she also has a specialized set of matching pauldrons that increase her power output. Both those and the gauntlets have magic that might seem familiar to those who’ve faced Mai’s revenant invocation in battle... Black spheres of magic surrounded by a red glow, just like the torment-inflicting orbs used by Scarlet when she spirals out of control. That resemblance isn’t a coincidence in the least.

- Sidewinder’s mech glows red instead of green, which may catch some off-guard; any technology influenced by her revenant abilities will change colors to match ASP’s crimson energy signature, and she’s capable of affecting anything that utilizes a suitably advanced system of magitech circuitry. ASP often acts entirely independently of Sidewinder, which can have both amusing and disconcerting results. Mostly it results in the ‘AI’ dropping in on electronic transmissions without permission to deliver quips and commentary.

- While she and Captain K still don’t see eye-to-eye on most things, they’ve learned to forge their differences into a strength. By meeting in the middle on various issues, they often come to much more creative and nuanced conclusions-- and that, in turn, allows them to lead the Turnabout much more effectively. While the Sidewinder typically handles combat management and defensive measures, Captain K is more involved in the political side and handles diplomatic matters.

“Welcome to the Turnabout. Rules are pretty simple around here: keep your weapons boxed in public spaces, don’t take things that don’t belong to you, fight only in self-defense, and don’t aggravate the AI. She bites.”

“... I’m joking, she doesn’t actually bite. But if you try your luck too much she still might shoot you with a stun cannon, so play nice. We don’t have enough room at the infirmary for every hotshot that feels like playing chicken with the defense protocol.”

#GW2 #Guild Wars 2 #The Sidewinder #Tideturners AU #EoD Spoilers #mentions of major character death #so yeah! god this took so long to put together lmao #I wanted to have this together so she has a proper 'character page' of sorts... #+ it has a general timeline of the Tideturners and how they evolved... #anyway. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Mai and the Sidewinder #becoming the Sidewinder is her second chance. an opportunity to be someone better. #Scarlet couldn't give her that. even Joon couldn't give her that. it was a decision she had to make for herself. #she isn't perfect. she's not a hero. she won't be the savior of the world. #but she does want to do right by the people who believe in her. #it's a bold new world and she's trying her best to deserve her position in it. #also ASP is really. really funny to write dialogue for i love her dearly #'This unit is not qualified to run an unsupervised health diagnostic. However if you sign this waiver I will be permitted to vaporize you.' #'Then health diagnostics will be irrelevant because you will be easily identifiable as deceased. Have a terrible day!' #Some kid asks her if hell is real and she says 'Yes and I'm in it.' what's it like? 'Customer service.' #literally just Discount GLaDos DJFHDKHDJ #also yes i took the time to take all those shots + did the color edits #+ designed the Tideturners emblem there too #anyway. time to stop before the tags get longer than the post

[direful]

69 (nice)

When Sorrow Sang - Blind Guardian

She's woven both themes in there Moved me to tears The world shall hear this sad song Song of sorrow song of grief Can't change the way of his kind Can't change the way of her kind

#answered #vanniez #everyone should go listen to blind guardian's 1998 album nightfall in middle earth RIGHT NOW!! #beren & luthien make me go crazy go stupid. imagine dying & your elf gf sings a song so sad it makes the god of death cry & bring you back #and then she gives up her immortality For You. so you can go to the same afterlife after your second chance at living. screams