#tmi warning

[random-thought-depository]

I've signed up for a program that will pay me for doing in-home caretaking work for my mom's elderly partner (it's work I've already been doing for free for years, might as well get paid for it). I got my first paychecks yesterday and my bank cleared the funds by this morning!

I was owed a few months of back-pay because of how the application process worked (I started the application process November last year), so yesterday I went from having $70 in the bank to having almost $2700! My regular pay is going to be about $900 per month. It's not much, but it's a big step up from where I was a month ago both in terms of family/household income and in terms of my personal financial autonomy!

Lately I've had the frightening realization that I'm almost 40 now, my life for the last 10 years or so has resembled that of a bird atrophying in an austere cage, this state of affairs has enough inertia that there's no obvious inevitable end to it except me dying of old age or being social murdered (likely some combination of both), and even this low level of safety and comfort is fragile, the obvious plausible default ways my situation might change in the near future are that it gets much worse, e.g. that I quickly end up homeless after my elderly mom dies and her social security deposits stop coming. This realization frightened me enough that I have begun to make more systematic efforts to improve my life. That probably sounds like some Jordan Peterson bootstraps thing but actually a big part of the economic/financial side of this project for me is to stop listening to the neoliberal eligibility worker in my head, stop doing welfare avoidance, get a lot more strategic about leveraging the welfare system to try to get my family into better conditions. So far, my big project to improve the living conditions of my family and improve my own life has achieved two big successes:

- The thing I talked about in the first and second paragraphs of this post.

- I have spent my life from puberty up to now semi-voluntarily celibate, I think mostly because of a heterosexual male version of lesbian sheepitude induced by a combination of over-correction away from being a type of guy women complain about a lot, former bullied kid alief that other people are likely to experience me soliciting interaction with them as an irritation, and assessment that most women wouldn't want a male partner who starts with my socio-economic condition (poor and still lives with my mom). I would like to begin having an erotic life that at least occasionally includes sex with one or more other people, and to that end I have made a resolution to be more forward in expressing romantic/sexual attraction/desire. By doing this, I was able to make "Tumblr is a hook-up app" work for me, I have an appointment with a woman who wants to take my virginity in June!

These feel like good signs. My wings are not powerless and dead!

The next big thing on my agenda is to try to get my family out of our tiny overcrowded slum apartment and into a better place, one where we can have a kitchen, a bathroom we don't share with other tenants, and where I can have a private room. My mother and her partner are both elderly and I'm now an officially registered caretaking worker for my mom's partner, so I am hoping I can find some housing assistance for seniors program that will give them a better apartment and let me live in it too as a live-in caretaker.

#about me #TMI warning

[mistergandalf]

my period: [starts]

my bowels: EVACUATION ORDER HAS BEEN GIVEN! ABANDON THE LOWER SECTOR! GO GO GO

#this post brought to you by the toilet I clogged so bad that plunging it 5 times wasn’t enough #snurtz talks #tmi warning

[chaifootsteps]

Well, not a lot! Just a couple of times, like six months ago.

#And then again today. #tmi warning #actual blog post

[fionacle]

putting under a cut so people can read the tags first or ignore completely, i want people to have the chance to not have to look 👍

by “physical exam” i’m referring to being touched by your doctor “down there”. asking because i have, no malpractice took place, being touched down there was just kinda awful for me. even if you haven’t cried i’d like to hear if you consider it especially awful and are comfortable sharing, i just feel really alone in this as every adult i go to (meaning my mom and grandma essentially) say suck it up.

i’m terrified about doing this yearly when i’m 18, which it happening this year, and i have another appointment about period problems in the morning and i expect a physical exam to be necessary.

#gynecology #genitals #genitalia #poll #polls #tmi #tmi warning #no genitals are shown it’s just kinda about them so #gross #doctors #menstruation

[deathzgf]

call me marat the way i ' ve had to have constant baths for health reasons

#tmi warning #BUT #my fuckass toenail is ingrown #so i have to soak it three or four times a day #sighs

[hollowboobtheory]

I cannot relate to that post about like having to come to terms with being about to puke or whatever I can't wait to puke the moment I start feeling nauseus I'm like let's fucking go get this shit outta me

#tmi warning #beck rambles

[mischiefmanifold]

taking the worst most world-ending shit rn

#I have nobody to complain about this to so you guys are my target #sorry but also not sorry #because you're not the ones writhing in agony on the toilet rn #ask to tag #tf do i tag this as #tmi warning

[detentiontrack]

do period cups hurt? i’m kind of scared of them

Not at all! Seriously not even one bit. Once they’re in and suctioned properly, you genuinely can’t even feel it at all. Personally, tampons were always uncomfortable for me, even when they were inserted properly and I’ve never had this problem since I switched to using a menstrual cup 2 years ago. The cups are made of soft silicon and they’re designed to be compact and suction to the inside of you in a way that isn’t noticeable once they’re in. If you insert them wrong and they don’t suction properly, or if they suction in the wrong position, it might feel a little uncomfortable, but it’s never painful. They’re also much cheaper than single use period products (I got mine in 2022 for like $13 and I haven’t had to replace it since. They last a long time if you clean them properly in between periods). I don’t know if there’s any scientific data on this so don’t quote me on this, but I find that my cramps are much better when I use a cup vs when I used to use tampons (and I get really bad debilitating cramps)

#asks #anon #tmi warning #<- maybe. idk I think it’s educational

[random-thought-depository]

I got "Tumblr is a hook-up app" to work for me! Yesterday I saw a post written by a trans woman saying she wanted to find male partners she could trust to see her as a woman but who might enjoy calling her a boy as a kind of sexual play, I offhandedly made a reply saying that I think I might be able to give her what she wants, the OP replied to me suggesting I approach her the next time I was in her area, apparently I might be able to give her something she finds really hot but doesn't get very often. That was not something I was expecting, but was a very pleasant surprise! A few rounds of DMing later and me and her have arranged a meeting for casual sex in June, when she already had plans to visit the approximate area I live in.

I asked her if it was OK if I posted about this and she said yes.

I was worried she might be put off when I disclosed that I'm a virgin, but it turned out she's OK with that. So, assuming all goes well, I've basically got an appointment to lose my virginity in three months! OMG SQUEE!

She's post-vaginoplasty/SRS. :dazzled heart-eyes:

If you're a pre-op/non-op trans woman reading this I don't mean to insult your body type, I just have a preference for partners with vulvas/vaginas (preference as in "all else being equal I am pretty sure I'd enjoy sex with a person with this feature more," it isn't a requirement for me to be attracted to somebody) and am happy that a person who wants to have sex with me has a body type congruent with this preference.

I wrote here that one of the biggest things I don't have and would like is an erotic life that sometimes involves having sex with one or more other people, lately to try to fix that I have resolved to try to be less timid about expressing sexual and romantic interest, and it looks like that's starting to pay off!

I spent yesterday evening in a better mood than I can remember being in in years. I've been wondering if I have depression or something but what I experienced yesterday made me wonder if my melancholy is mostly or entirely just shit life syndrome.

Tonight I will have a chicken katsu take-out meal for dinner, because it's the closest thing I can conveniently get to katsudon and the association of katsudon with victory is pleasing in this context.

Anyway, I generally had a really good day yesterday. When I was at the polling place to vote I ended up having a nice conversation with a college student who was ahead of me in the line. It started with me noticing her playing with a stim toy, asking if I could try it a little, and saying I'd never seen an autism symptom list I didn't see myself in, and we ended up comparing experiences of neurodivergence.

It would have been better if the election results were better, in particular I'm unsurprised but disappointed that Barbara Lee didn't get more votes, I had the good fortune to get to vote for her and she deserved to win IMO.

#about me #TMI warning #maybe autistic

[stagsong]

How the fuck womble have I been on 'no break' contraceptives for a year and my period's decided to fucking hulk out and break through

#so far not as bad as it was without the pills #but seriously fuck you adeno #tmi warning

[chaifootsteps]

Every time I remember Viv trying to claim that calling her show bad fanfiction is homophobic, I just wanna say I like dick, and I still think her show sucks.

Even the gay fanfiction of her own show is on average way better.

Doesn't matter Anon, Vivzie says you're homophobic because you don't like her show and so homophobic you must be.

(Just kidding, I've hit my knees in a gay bathhouse while an older man held my mouth open for a bunch of strangers and I think her show sucks even harder than me.)

#Anonymous #vivziepop mention #nsft #tmi warning #actual blog post

[fionacle]

#ferrenpost #menstruation #cw periods #guhhhhhhhhh… #tmi warning #naproxen

[sirswooshnoodles]

Do you ever wish you could just-

-And have your brain actually work?

#idk what im doing #just because #meme #me irl #I seriously think about taking out and kneading my organs #I till the work right #just squish squish migraine begone #or squeeze all that gunk out the sinuses #squeegee that shit out of the colon #tmi #tmi warning #shitpost

[i-fondued]

On the same topic of nuzzling your face into Copia’s admittedly soft and cuddly looking bulge, imagine laying your head in his lap and falling asleep like that. In your sleep, you nuzzle your face into his bulge, which naturally makes him hard. So now poor Copia has the conundrum of wether to let you continue to sleep and rub your face against him thus making him unbearably horny, or to wake you from your very peaceful looking slumber to fuck your face.

Sjkfkdlhdfs, YOU ARE KILLING ME ANON.

Copia is so polite even though you know he knows you’d be like please face fuck me awake but you’ve not been sleeping well and he wants to make sure you are rested but at the same time he is going to cum in his pants if you nuzzle against him one more time…

WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN I STG

FUN IRL TMI BELOW THE CUT HAHAHA

I’m actually the worse because I actually do this on purpose to my husband when he is like I AM GOING TO BED. I AM TIRED. DO NOT TOUCH MY DICK. I’m always like ok cool bro but I have an evil smile in the dark. I’m normally the big spoon so my hand tends to be on his lower tummy so I just let my hand wander a little and make it seem like I’m asleep as I just happen to brush against him a lot till he cant take it anymore and he fucks me ☺️

oversharing time apparently wheeee

#I-fondued asks #TMI warning #i-fondued overshares when the sun goes down apparently

[theridgebeyond]

Jesus @ me when I haven’t had communion in a long time and it’s showing

#one more week! #gah this ELCA church and their once-a-month communion! #we may not have had women pastors in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (bc then we would have had to ordain gay people too) #BUT AT LEAST THEY HAD WEEKLY COMMUNION #tmi warning #I’m starting to have some weiiiird thoughts during adoration lately and being asexual I’m not too used to half of them #but I think it boils down to not having communion in forever #thank god I can be weird on tumblr so my therapist doesn’t have to get the full brunt of it #communion #eucharist #lutheran

[screaming-pee]

When she nuts and immediately starts infodumping about her Apple Watch right after

#autistic trans girls have my whole heart #she's so cute #tmi warning