#undefined conditions! fight!

[disabled-character-showdown]

BRACKET 1, ROUND 1, SECOND SHOWDOWN

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#undefined conditions! fight! #i fell in love with hope #sony #sony i fell in love with hope #i would tag it with their disabilities but uhh i don't know em #rei sakuma #ensemble stars

[eriexplosion]

The thing is that the finale isn't even good outside of lack of addressing Tech. It just is bad all around. It's a bad episode that doesn't follow any of the established set up for season 3.

We started the CX subplot in season 2, and then spent 3 long episodes with CX-2 in particular. This apparently was... just to set up a big boss fight in the finale and for nothing else? We spent four whole episodes across two seasons on this and had several other set up moments! For a big shootout and nothing else?

And yes, the CX-2 is Tech implications is a big part of this. Some of them even remained in the episode. How else are we supposed to take Hemlock's line "The last time we crossed paths, you had just lost a member of your squad. And it appears history may repeat itself. CT-9904 resisted my conditioning in the past, but I've made alterations to my methods. If you all survive, you will make fine operatives." other than that he used those 'alterations' to successfully CX Tech? Literally thought that was what it was setting up before *waves hand*

The Zillo beast was used to rip open a hole in the wall so that the Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair can get inside. It served no other purpose and walked away.

We spent two full episodes on the m-count plot between Bad Territory and The Harbinger. This accomplishes nothing in the entire rest of the season.

We spent all season dealing with Crosshair's hand tremors, establishing they are a psychological response to trauma. So should we... emotionally deal with that trauma? NOPE. WE'RE CUTTING IT OFF. DONE.

A small thread was set up that no one is beyond redemption/help, we see Rex reaching out to a CX, we see Omega remind Crosshair that Ventress deserves the chance to change, and in the finale... NO ONE is given a chance to change other than Emerie, who already did last episode. Every CX and commando is shot down without remorse even though they're also victims of Hemlock.

In general we just have action interspersed with the scraps of what was probably a united plot at one point. There isn't even a cavalry arrives moment in The Cavalry Has Arrived. What happened here?

The thing is I can see two subplots that would have united ALL of these that almost feel like they've been scraped out and replaced with generic shooting and a generic and undefined 'and then they had a happy ending'

First there's the force sensitivity plot. This was actually set up as early as season one episode one, when Omega takes the shot at Crosshair and manages to stop him from shooting, and then elaborated on throughout when she connects easily with animals, leading up to Bad Territory and The Harbinger - where we see Ventress tame a large, angry creature through the force. So much is made of the beast taming angle.

And obviously we have a beast. The Zillo beast. Omega does not at any point interact with this giant creature to calm it down or do anything at all she just lets it loose to rip some stuff up, have some action sequences, and then walk away into the night. But these two things united would have brought all the moments of force sensitivity hints home, as well as tied in her biggest strength - her empathy and caring. Taming the zillo beast would have been the end result of her character arc and made all that set up go somewhere instead of trailing off vaguely.

And second we have the CX plot. This could have tied in the remaining dropped threads of making the CX set up matter at all, the CX-2 is Tech hinting throughout the season, Crosshair's hand tremors, and the thread of redemption and no one being beyond saving. CX-2 is Tech, reach out to him, bring him back and through that Crosshair addresses his trauma by starting to fix one of the consequences of his biggest mistake - going back to the Empire in the first place. It wouldn't fix his tremors entirely but would help reduce them, be a huge step on the path to recovery and a great note to end his arc on.

With these two subplots, instead of endless excuses for more action and grunting, everything gets pulled together for a finale that has actual emotional significance, and the thing is that all the pieces are there so what the hell happened to make absolutely none of them come together and instead it just turns into an action shoot out?

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #fandom salt #I'M SORRY FOR MORE BITCHING BUT I JUST LOVED EVERYTHING UP TO THIS POINT THAT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW IT FELL APART SO HARD

[jksarchives]

IRRESIST

vampire! jk x human! reader

tags/warnings: violence, manipulation, manhandling, assault, murder, blood, attempted rape (nothing graphic!), angst, sensitive/paranoid oc, panic attack, trauma

word count: 7.8k (excl. synopsis)

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦!

𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗡𝗢 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗠 𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

SYNOPSIS;

Trust between a human and a vampire in the context of love is a complicated series of challenges that combines fear, curiosity, and vulnerability. For humans, trust involves overcoming natural instincts and societal conditioning. They deal with the temptation of the unknown while faced with the vampire's inherent danger. Meanwhile, the vampire, often burdened by decades of loneliness and secrecy, must rely on their own restraint and loyalty of their human partner in the face of their ravening thirst.

You trusted Jungkook despite what your parents had instilled about his kind and your own paranoia. You loved him, and you had never loved someone so much as him. But from time to time, you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Jungkook had broken your trust. You knew he had good control of himself and would never hurt you that way, but the thought of the unpredictable future scared you a bit.

𐚁₊⊹

────

Once considered creatures of myth and legend, vampires emerged from the darkness years ago to proclaim their dominance over the earth. They conquered humanity with their immortal lives, undefinable power and thirst for blood, reducing humans to an alienated minority fighting for survival at night.

Amongst the group of oppressed minorities was you, a young college student born into a society where fear and caution were as essential as the air you breathed.

Raised as an only child by parents who had witnessed the horrors of vampire dominion firsthand, you were nurtured with an inherent sense of alertness. They taught you how to navigate carefully in a world where one wrong move could cost you your life.

You heard all sorts of horrifying stories, but it wasn’t until you witnessed their brutal savagery with your own eyes for the first time. And as you grew older, you continued coming across more of the atrocities.

You could never stomach the fact that you lived in a world where merciless monsters ruled over the world and hunted humans like animals, and everyday you were scared for your life and those of who you cared about.

But it was about two years ago when your whole life changed.

It was quite late that day, you were hurrying home after a late class and your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of assignment. But little did you know that the night would transform your world forever.

You were walking through the deserted alleyway, and when you rounded a corner, you stumbled upon a chilling sight. A tall figure stood towering over another man, and his hand was wrapped around his neck with a tight iron grip. The man helplessly tried to break free but it was clear to you that he was no match to the other guy.

You were frozen in horror as you witnessed him effortlessly snap his neck. As you watched the lifeless man’s body drop cold with a thud, a bloodcurdling scream tore from your lips, echoing in the isolated streets as terror gripped your soul.

When the dark figure turned to face you, you felt the colours on your face drain completely. You felt as if your heart was about to jump out of your chest.

He was everything you had been warned about — tall, terrifying, and unmistakably a vampire. His eyes were ruby-red, like pools of crimson fire, and somewhat mesmerising. His skin was pale as a ghost which seemed to glow under the moonlight.

He then began to walk towards you, his movements slow and fluid, like a predator eyeing his prey. Your mind was screaming at you to turn and run, but you felt your feet glued to the ground. And as he drew closer, your heart raced at an unimaginable pace. Your breathing was erratic as droplets of sweat cascaded down the side of your face.

But to your surprise, he didn't lunge at you with fangs bared, ready to drain you of your lifeblood. Instead, he was looking at you with his head tilted to the side, studying your trembling form with curious intensity.

“Are you afraid of me, human?” he asked, his tone tinged with amusement. You nodded, unable to form words as you stared into those crimson eyes.

“You have every reason to be,” he continued, his lips curling into a sarcastic smile.

Like a flicker of light, you saw the colour of his eyes shift to a darker brown.

“But I assure you, I mean you no harm”.

His words should have sounded hollow, devoid of sincerity. After all, he was a vampire, a creature of the night who thrived on the blood of the living. And your instincts screamed at you to flee, to run as far away as possible from this creature of the night.

But something held you in place, a strange mixture of fear and curiosity. You found yourself studying him, taking in every detail of his supernatural presence.

And as you looked into his eyes, you sensed a hint of something else beneath the surface — loneliness, perhaps, or even longing.

Jungkook had walked the earth for ages, witnessing the rise and fall of empires, yet never finding satisfaction in the short-lived pleasures of mortal life. Many feared him, and those who knew of his existence muttered his name in hushed tones, since he was the very definition of a hellish vampire — ruthless and violent.

But the more you learned about him, the more you understood that he wasn’t everything that people described him to be. He was savage for sure, he was also someone who knew his boundaries and had control over himself.

You remembered when you first encountered him. You couldn’t lie, he was everything you have been warned about. But as your encounters became more frequent, you found yourself strangely drawn to him. You wanted to know more about him despite the nagging sense of danger.

And as your relationship blossomed, you discovered a side of Jungkook that few had ever seen — a side that was gentle, compassionate, and fiercely protective.

Your biggest challenge at that time was confronting your parents about your relationship with Jungkook. You both knew that your love was forbidden, and that both sides of the society would never accept your unique relationship.

You, in particular, were worried about your parents' reaction, knowing all too well of the presumptions and hatred that existed against beings like Jungkook.

While it took time for Jungkook’s parents to finally accept you as someone more than just a human they fed on, you knew it was still early to reveal everything to yours. However, the truth could only be kept hidden for so long, as secrets have a way of revealing themselves in the light of day.

It took a lot to muster up courage to tell your parents everything, and Jungkook offered to go with you. Their reaction was exactly what you had expected. Horror contorted their faces, their words laced with disbelief and disgust, unable to comprehend how their daughter could be entangled with such a vile creature.

You remembered how they pulled you away from Jungkook who was sitting down next to you, fear written over their faces as they shielded you from him.

Jungkook could only sit and stare in pain, yet understandably. He knew to be silent, because anything he said would fall in deaf ears. Humans knew better than to trust monsters like him.

But despite their rejection, you remained steadfast in your love for Jungkook, unwilling to abandon the one who had captured your heart. You understood that they were trying to protect you, you couldn’t blame them for that, but at the same time, you knew what you were doing.

If anything was to go wrong, you would be the only one to be blamed.

[𝟶𝟾:𝟷𝟻 𝚙.𝚖.]

It was a chill night, and you found yourself nervously adjusting your dress, your fingers tracing the delicate lace. It was Yunho’s, Jungkook’s best friend's, birthday, and though you weren’t quite sure about going, you knew you had to attend out of courtesy at least.

As you and Jungkook entered the grand mansion where the party was being held, you couldn't help but feel a shiver run down your spine. There were quite a lot more guests than you had expected. The atmosphere was charged with energy, the air thick with the scent of sweat and alcohol.

It made you scrunch your nose up in disgust. The whole aura made you uncomfortable, but not more than the fact that the house was practically filled with vampires and you being the only human.

You just couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place, like a lamb wandering into a den of wolves. You clung onto Jungkook like he was your lifeline, pressing yourself against him like glue.

“It's okay, I won’t let anyone hurt you” he whispered, his voice soothing against your ear.

As the night wore on, your discomfort slowly waned as you engaged with Jungkook’s friends and the other guests. You learned that a lot of them were quite chill and fun to be around despite being bloodthirsty creatures.

You discovered shared interests with them and exchanged playful banter. You even found yourself joining in on a game of charades and chugging down shots with them. But you made sure to not go overboard.

“Babe, I’m going out to smoke with the boys, will you be okay on your own for a few minutes?” your boyfriend walked up to you and asked.

“Mhmm, I’ll be fine” you told him and gave him a warm smile, “shout if you need me” he quickly pecked your lips before walking off with his three friends. You sighed and took a sip of the apple juice.

Just then, Yunho emerged from the crowd. “Hey, Y/n” he greeted, “oh hey Yunho” you greeted back with a smile.

“Could you perhaps go and grab my charger from my room? My phone is about to die and I’m kind of in the middle of a game right now” he asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Sure, where’s your room?” you stood up straight, “first floor on the right, and if you keep walking straight you’ll find a black door. That’s my room” he smiled.

“Okay, I’ll get it for you” you said to him and walked off.

As you made your way up the grand staircase, you couldn't help but admire the intricate details of the mansion's architecture. The plush carpeting beneath your feet muffled your steps as you ascended to the upper floor. Each hallway seemed to stretch endlessly, branching off into different wings of the house.

Despite the vibrant atmosphere downstairs, the floor upstairs seemed to be a huge contrast — as if no one was supposed to be here.

You felt a sense of unease crept over you as you glanced down the long, dimly lit hallway leading deeper into the mansion. The vastness of the house and the thought of getting lost intimidated you.

In the end, you finally managed to find Yunho’s room. Twisting the golden doorknob, you creaked the door open, revealing a very spacious and elegantly furnished room.

After a brief search, you found the charger on a bedside table. And as you went and reached for it, a voice startled you from behind.

“Need a hand?” Yunho’s voice broke the silence, causing you to jump slightly in surprise.

“Gosh, you scared me” you sighed in relief, placing your hand on your chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Just wondering what was taking you so long” he let out an airy chuckle as he stood with one hand in his pocket.

You chuckled nervously, feeling slightly embarrassed, “it's alright, I guess I just got a little lost in this enormous mansion of yours” you said. Yunho stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning around before they turned back onto you.

“Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming at first” he muttered, “but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it around here” he said. The tone in his voice dropped into something sinister, and your smile dropped instantly.

Before you could say anything, the door slammed shut on its own with a loud bang, causing you to jump in fright. Your heart began to race, panic coursing through your body as you realised you were trapped in the room.

You rushed towards the door, your hands trembling as you tried to turn the handle, but it wouldn't budge.

“What are you doing?” your voice shook with fear as you turned to face Yunho, only to find him standing there, a smirk playing on his lips.

Your breath hitched when you saw his fangs protruding menacingly and his eyes glowing scarlet red, a disturbing reminder of the gruesome nature of a vampire.

When he began to walk towards you, you began to move yourself across the wall to the other side of the room. “S-Stay away from me” you warned, struggling to steady your breathing.

“Oh darling, you can’t tell me what to do” he growled with his disgusting grin. With each step Yunho took, your fear threatened to consume you whole.

You pressed yourself against the cold stone wall, searching desperately for a way out, but finding none. The room seemed to narrow around you, suffocating you with his evil presence.

“Please, Yunho, stop this” you begged, feeling yourself choke up with panic.

But all your pleas fell into deaf ears as he slammed his hands on the wall next to you, trapping you under his monstrous body. “Jungkook really hit a jackpot with you, huh?” he leaned in close and took a long sniff from the crook of your neck.

“Your blood, it smells fucking sweet” he said and he dragged his tongue along your neck.

With a rush of adrenaline, you gathered all of your courage and lashed out, striking him with every bit of strength you had. You kneed him in the groin and pushed him off you, watching him drop to the floor groaning in pain. You caught a glimpse of surprise on his face before it contorted into a mask of wrath.

“You bitch” he gritted his teeth as he stood back up on his feet.

With a snarl, he lunged at you, grabbing you by the neck and slamming you against the wall. Pain seared through your body as you fought to loosen his iron grip, your muscles straining against his inhumane strength.

“Jungkook sure taught you well to defend yourself, but I’d like to see you defend yourself now” he grinned sinister as he let go of your neck.

Before you could even catch your breath, Yunho picked you up and slung you over his shoulder as he walked over to his bed.

“Let go of me you sick bastard!” you screamed as you hit his back with your fists, but Yunho remained unmoved. In a matter of seconds, he threw you down on the bed and cuffed your wrists with his single iron gripping hand.

“You can scream all you want darling, no one is going to hear you” he smirked as he hovered over you.

Your glossy eyes widened in horror as your breathing became more erratic. “N-No,” you shook your head, trying to push him off. But he was too strong. “GET OFF ME!” you screamed your lungs out.

“JUNGKOOK!”

┄┄┄┄┄

After indulging in a smoke break with his friends in the dim courtyard, Jungkook went back inside to join you again. But he frowned when he couldn’t find you from where you were standing earlier.

“Have you guys seen Y/n?” he asked around.

His question was met with shrugs and indifferent shakes of the head. No one seemed to have noticed your absence amidst the buzz of the party. But then he noticed something else that he found a little odd. Yunho was nowhere to be seen either.

“Hey Baekho, have you Y/n? Or Yunho?” he asked one of Yunho’s close friends who was drinking with the rest. “I don’t know about Y/n. But Yunho said he was going to his room to get something” Baekho shrugged.

Jungkook muttered a small ‘thank you’ before making his way upstairs. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

Reaching Yunho’s room, he could hear muffled voices from inside. He tried to open the door but it was locked. “Yunho? Are you in there?” he knocked on the door, but no answer.

Frowning, he attempted to open the door. And miraculously, the door opened on its own, like the lock was being controlled.

When Jungkook opened the door, the sight in front of him made his heart drop.

“Yunho? Y/n?” his voice was barely audible due to shock.

His shoulders dropped as he took a step inside. Unknown to Jungkook, Yunho’s lips curled up in a smirk as he laid on the bed. And straddling him, hair tousled and eyes wide with shock, was you. Quickly wiping the smirk off his lips, Yunho pushed you off and got off the bed.

You, eyes wide with fear and desperation, got up and ran to reach out to Jungkook, your voice trembling as you tried to explain yourself. “Jungkook, l-listen to me” you said as you held his arm.

But Jungkook was quiet as he stared at you, standing there as his mind reeled with a thousand emotions. Before you could go on to say anything else, Yunho cut in.

“Your girlfriend isn't all innocent as she plays Jungkook” he said as he fixed his clothes. “I tried to stop her, and remind her that she has a boyfriend, just she just wouldn’t listen” he tried to explain.

All Jungkook did was stare and listen to what was being said. “You lying bastard!” you screamed, lunging towards the blond haired vampire and grabbing him by the collar.

“We’re going home” Jungkook’s deep murderous voice spoke up, and you froze at the chilling tone that you never heard before.

He grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out of the room, and you briefly turned to Yunho who smirked as he waved his hand at you.

“Jungkook wait! He’s lying! That’s not the truth!” you protested as you tried to keep up with the speed that he was pulling you with. But he said nothing.

When you finally reached downstairs, all eyes were on you. “Stop!” you shouted, stopping in your tracks and harshly pulling your arm out of your boyfriend’s tight hold. Your chest heaved with each ragged breath, your hands trembling as you clutched your dress.

“We’re not leaving until you know the truth!” you said.

“Stop making a scene Y/n” Jungkook gritted his teeth as he stepped towards you. “I’m not Jungkook! Your best friend is a fucking liar! He tried to-”

“I think you had quite a lot to drink Y/n, you should go home and rest” you heard Yunho’s voice cut you off. You saw Yunho making his way downstairs and the guests made way for him to walk through towards you.

“You’re my best friend’s girlfriend Y/n, I would never have any ill intentions about you” he looked at you with a soft gaze, but you knew it was all fake.

“It’s okay, I know you made a mistake, you don’t have to lie” he then said, and you didn’t miss the slight smirk that he gave to you.

At the moment, you felt your body fire up in anger. And then, you raised your hand and smacked him hard across the face. The crowd of guests gasped in shock as Yunho’s head snapped to the side, and Jungkook was quick to pull you back.

“You asshole!” you screamed. Yunho clenched his jaw as he tried to control his anger, and he raised his head back up and smiled at you. “You’re a monster, a sick bastard! You don’t deserve to be Jungkook’s friend, or anywhere near him!” you ranted.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Jungkook’s loud angry voice cut through the air, silencing everyone in the room. You flinched and turned to your boyfriend, swallowing a thick lump as you eyes his furious form.

Without saying another word, he grabbed your arm and pulled you with him. You turned and glared at Yunho for the last, whose smirk never seemed to fade the entire time.

The music faded into the background as you both reached outside. You stumbled along the way, trying to keep up with his swift pace, and your heart raced with anxiety.

“Jungkook please listen to me” you pleaded, but he remained quiet. His jaw clenched tightly as he dragged you towards the car.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝟷𝟶:𝟶𝟶 𝚙.𝚖.]

The door swung open with a loud thud as Jungkook stumbled through, his eyes clouded with anger. The usually quiet and snug atmosphere shifted abruptly as he dragged you inside by the arm with a force that made you whimper in pain.

Your cries echoed through the large hallway, a desperate plea for him to release you from his iron grip. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mixing with the traces of blood from where his fingers dug into your delicate skin.

“Please, Jungkook, you're hurting me” you sobbed, your voice barely audible amidst the chaos of your entry. But Jungkook’s grip only tightened, his face contorted with rage as he pulled you further into the house.

Finally when you both reached the living room, he released you with a harsh shove, sending you sprawling to the floor. You curled up into a ball, clutching your injured arm as tears continued to stream down your face like waterfall.

For a moment, there was silence as you looked up at him in disbelief and fear. The only sound heard was his ragged breathing and your choked cries as he glared down at you.

This wasn’t him.

This wasn’t the man who promised you his love and protection.

Pushing yourself up, you steadied your trembling limbs. You then began taking cautious steps towards him as you reached your hand out for him.

“P-Please, hear me out, please baby” you pleaded with your shaky voice. But Jungkook was quick to push your hand away, his expression hardening as his fists clenched at his sides.

“What is there to hear about Y/n? I saw it, you were fucking all over him!” he yelled.

You violently shook your head in denial and grabbed his hands in your shaking ones, “n-no, it’s not what it looks like! Please, you have to believe me” you panicked.

“H-He asked me if I could fetch his phone c-charger from his room a-and I went to get it. T-Then he just came in out of n-nowhere a-and locked the door, a-and he-” you frantically blabbered, but Jungkook’s loud voice stopped you midway.

“STOP!” he screamed, causing you to flinch and cower in fear. “Don’t you even try to make up excuses.” he gritted his teeth as he took a step forward.

“Seriously Y/n? My best friend? You chose to fuck with my best friend?” he questioned as he took another step closer. Each step he took towards you, you took a step back, until you found yourself being trapped in between his intimidating presence and the brick wall behind you.

“It’s not like that Jungkook, he’s lying. Please listen to me, it’s all a misunderstanding” you cried, your eyes begging him to believe you. You let out a sharp gasp when he slammed his hand on the wall next to you.

“Shut up! Just shut up!” he yelled in your face. “Yunho and I’ve been best friends for years, way back before you or your grandparents were born. I know for a fact that he’s not what you’re trying to paint him as, so just fucking stop, okay?!” he said.

Your heart dropped, but then it started to race as you began to realise that the man you loved may be slipping away from you over a grave misunderstanding. Your shoulders dropped in defeat and all you could do was stare at him with your tearful eyes.

He wasn’t believing you.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” you asked, your voice barely above whisper.

Instead of answering, he leaned in closer to you, your noses almost touching, as his nose flared in anger. A choked sob escaped from you, “what do you think of me as Jungkook?” you questioned.

“Do you think I’m some kind of slut? Is that what you really think of me?” you silently cried.

“You know me better than anyone. You know what I love and what I hate. You know my fears. But most importantly, you know that I love you, and only you” you said. “I can’t believe you would question my loyalty” your words came out as a whisper.

You were angry. Hurt. Frustrated.

The man who was supposed to take your side was now against you, blinded by what he only saw on the surface and not the depth of the truth.

Not wanting to deal with him any longer, you pushed him off you and tried to walk away. But Jungkook quickly caught you by the arm and pulled you back, slamming you against the wall. You whined in pain as your back came in contact with the hard brick wall.

“Where do you think you’re going? We aren’t done talking yet” he snapped, and you felt his fingers digging in your shoulders. “We’ll talk when you’re in your fucking senses” you snapped back, glaring at him with your red and glossy eyes.

“Now let me go” you tried to remove yourself from his tight grip, but he was too strong. The struggle to break free from his hold would soon come to a stop when you heard a low inhuman growl. When you looked up at Jungkook, you saw something that made your blood run cold.

His once gentle gaze now glowed with a sinister crimson hue, and you watched in horror as his fangs elongated before your very eyes.

“J-Jungkook?” you stuttered in fear. A guttural growl escaped his lips, sending shivers down your spine as you realised. He wasn't just angry — he was something else entirely.

“You’re mine, and only fucking mine. Got it?” he growled. Your heart hammered in your chest, your breaths coming in short, panicked gasps as you struggled to free yourself from his grasp. “S-Stop Jungkook, you’re s-scaring me” you tried to tell him.

But he was far from reality.

A terrified squeal escaped your mouth when he grabbed your face and pulled it close to his. “Jungkook,” you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your own heart. “Please stop, you’re scaring me baby” you choked on your sob.

But there was no humanity left in his gaze, no trace of the man you loved. Only a possessive rage that made your stomach churn with dread. This wasn’t your boyfriend. This was a creature of the night. A monster that everyone feared.

A vampire.

Your breathing was erratic. You struggled to breathe as the world spun around you. You clutched at your chest, your heart racing uncontrollably. And when it couldn’t withstand the weight of fear and distress, you felt yourself slipping. And before you knew it, your vision soon faded into darkness.

The last thing you remembered was your body dropping down, but a pair of strong arms caught you just before impact.

As Jungkook caught your limp form, his mind snapped back to reality. He blinked and shook his head as the haze of his vampire instincts faded away. Slowly, his eyes travelled down to your unconscious body, and his heart dropped like a stone in his chest.

“No…no no no” he panicked.

He cradled you close, his hands trembling as he brushed the strands of hair from your pale and tear stained face. “Y-Y/n?” he shook you, “baby wake up, I-I’m sorry” his voice cracked with desperation.

But you remained unresponsive. Your breathing was slow and faint, and your body was cold. “Fuck! What have I done?” a frustrated cry escaped from him. Regret was consuming him whole. But at the same time, anger boiled within him, directed not at you, but at himself for losing control. He didn’t mean to, but he was a monster after all.

His eyes stung with tears as he quickly picked you up in his arms and rushed you up to your shared bedroom. He kicked the door open and walked towards the bed. Gently placing you down, he fished out his phone from his back pocket. With shaking hands, he dialed his private doctor. After a few rings, the doctor picked up. Jungkook hurriedly expressed his urgency.

Ending the call, he chucked his phone on the nightstand. As he awaited help, Jungkook sat down next to your still form and tenderly held your hand, feeling his heart heavy with guilt. “I’m so sorry baby, I don’t know what got into me” he sniffled as his thumb gently caressed over your cold hand.

He knew he fucked up. He knew things weren’t going to be easy when you woke up, and he feared it would change your relationship forever.

Perhaps your parents were right, he really wasn’t any different to the other vampires. All of them were blood sucking creatures, and that perhaps that was their only purpose. Maybe he really wasn’t capable of loving anyone, let alone a human.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝟷𝟷:𝟹𝟻 𝚙.𝚖.]

Jungkook paced anxiously around the room as the doctor checked up on you. And after what felt like an eternity, the doctor finally straightened up and met his gaze with a reassuring smile.

“She's fine, Jungkook. It seems like she fainted because of shock and stress” he explained with a calm and steady voice. Jungkook’s shoulders sagged as he let out a shaky breath of relief.

“She just needs to rest for a while. I’ll give her a vitamin injection and it should help her gain some energy when she wakes up” he then explained. Jungkook nodded and let the man do his job.

The doctor, Dr. Kim, checked your vitals once again using his stethoscope and blood pressure monitor. Once he was done, he removed the stethoscope and covered you with a blanket before turning to face Jungkook.

“Nothing to worry about now, she’s going to be alright. She should be awake in the morning” he said to him. “Thank you Dr. Kim” Jungkook thanked as his tired eyes stared at him, his voice filled with gratitude.

“No problem, if anything else happens, do call me” he said, and Jungkook hummed. Having said that, he helped him back to his car.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 — 𝟶𝟾:𝟻𝟶 𝚊.𝚖.]

As the sunlight crept through the curtains, you began to stir from your slumber. With a soft groan, you slowly sat yourself up, your eyes squeezed shut against the throbbing headache. Your hands gently massaged your temples to soothe the pain, taking slow deep breaths.

As the dull ache subsided, you opened your eyes expecting Jungkooking to be sleeping next to you, but he wasn’t there. The side of his bed was neat and empty, like he hadn’t slept there at all.

The events of last night flooded back to you like a tsunami, and you couldn’t help but shiver. Your mind raced with many thoughts which were all over the place, but nothing more than dread and heartache. You weren’t ready to face him at all. You were simply scared to.

Removing the blanket, you got up from the, and you almost lost your balance which caused you to stumble. Your legs still shook even after everything yesterday, but you managed to push yourself to stand firm. You never thought you would have to be cautious in the very house you felt safe and protected. It felt as if you were living the way you have lived before you met Jungkook.

You looked around the room and gulped, nervous to move a muscle. You were scared he was going to jump in front of you with his menacing form and glowing red eyes.

But you felt icky and disgusted from Yunho’s touch, and you wanted to wash off every mark and scent of him from your body. Inhaling a breath, you took your first step, and you walked towards your wardrobe to grab clean pair clothes. You then proceeded to make your way into the bathroom.

After the shower, you changed into your blue jeans and plain white shirt. You stood in the middle of the room as you looked around with a heavy heart. The room, once filled with laughter and love, now felt cold and unfamiliar to you.

Shutting your eyes for a brief moment, you let out a shaky breath and controlled yourself from breaking down. You had one thought in your chaotic mind, and it was that you needed to get out of here. You opened your eyes and went to grab a large suitcase and a duffel bag. You then began grabbing all your clothes from the wardrobe and stuffing them into the suitcase.

Each item you carefully folded and placed into the suitcase held memories of yours and Jungkook’s time together: the pale yellow sundress which you wore on your first date, the denim jacket which you wore when you had your first kiss, the polka dot pyjamas you wore when you both had your first argument, and the red silk dress you wore the night he made love to you for the first time.

Your movements were slow and deliberate, your heart growing heavier as the wardrobe became emptier. Tears welled up in your eyes as you zipped up the suitcase and the duffel bag, and your hands dropped to your sides as you stepped back a little.

You looked around the room one last time, not missing a single corner. You looked at the photo frame on the wall above the bed, it was the two of you smiling together, taken on a sunny day in the park. You could help but feel a pang of sadness in your chest.

You could feel the muscles in your chest tighten in despair at the thought of how all this was ending. How had it all come to this? But you knew you couldn’t stay here anymore. Despite your love for Jungkook, you couldn't shake the fear that was bubbling inside you.

Maybe what happened yesterday was a wake up call, that no matter how much he loved and cared about you, the shadow of the monster that he was would always be part of him. But most importantly, you couldn’t ignore the betrayal you felt and the lack of trust he had in you.

Sniffling and wiping away your tears, you grabbed your things and turned around to leave. But the sight of Jungkook standing by the door made you gasp in fear and drop everything you hand in your hands. “Y/n?” his voice was calm and low, something that would’ve usually soothed you, but not now.

Jungkook looked at you and your packed belongings before his eyes turned to you. “You’re…leaving?” he asked with a hurt voice. But you stayed quiet as your breathing started to quicken.

Jungkook knew you were still shaken so he tried to be careful and calm with his approach. “Can we talk? Please baby” he pleaded as he took a step forward, only for you to take two steps back instinctively. “N-No, stay a-away” your voice shook. Jungkook’s heart sank at the rejection, but nothing more than the fear that was written all over your face.

You were scared of him.

He felt a lump form in his throat and tears prickle in his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you” his voice cracked. He knew you would be scared, he just didn’t know how bad it was until he took another step forward with his hand reaching out to you.

You screamed as you backed away and fell to the ground. And you pulled your knees to your chest while your hands clamped to your ears. “P-Please, d-don’t come near m-me” you fearfully said. “Y/n-”

“I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me” you cried, cutting him off.

And in that moment, Jungkook felt his whole world fall apart. His eyes widened slightly and his breath hitch, and his knees grew weak before he dropped down to the floor. The silence was loud and deafening, only your muffled sobs and ragged breathing could be heard.

Who would’ve thought that a bloodthirsty monster like him would cry over a mortal human whom he scarred and traumatised for life? “B-Baby, I’m not going to hurt you” he choked on his cry as tears streamed down his face, “please don’t be scared of me”.

But his words seemed to fall on deaf ears as you continued to cry, your fear too overwhelming to be soothed by mere words.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry” he slowly crawled towards you, but you immediately pushed yourself back. Jungkook’s heart only sank deeper and deeper. His usual pale face was flushed as he desperately tried to comfort you, and somewhat himself.

But he knew he was losing you, and the reality of it all scared him. Jungkook knew that whatever that he tried to do, it wasn’t going to work. You were beyond his reach now.

“But you did Jungkook” you finally spoke up as you raised your head, “you did hurt me” you said.

You looked at his crying form as his eyes made desperate pleas towards you. “You hurt me when you didn’t believe me, you hurt me with your words, and you hurt me the way you manhandled me like I was some ragged doll” you snapped at him.

“If I stayed conscious any longer, what were the chances that you weren’t going to hurt me?” you lashed out, questioning him. Jungkook remained silent as he questioned himself.

Was he really going to hurt you?

“I wasn’t thinking straight, I really wasn’t. I’m so sorry” he croaked.

“No amount of sorry is going to fix this Jungkook. The damage is done” you shook your head. “I was begging you to listen to me, to believe me, but you didn’t. You just let your jealousy and insecurities get the best of you” you continued.

“I don’t care how long you’ve known Yunho for and how good of a friend he is to you, but he’s a sick bastard who tried to take advantage of me. And just when I tried to fight back and you walked in, he took it as a perfect opportunity to paint me as a cheater, and you believed him” you said.

“I’m sorry” he kept mumbling as he silently cried. “You know how scared I am of vampires already, did you really think I would ever cheat on you with one?” you asked. You took off your leather jacket and rolled your sleeves up to your shoulders.

“If I had really cheated on you, I wouldn’t have these on my arms” you said as you pointed at the dark spots of bruises on both of your arms, most importantly the hand print around your neck.

Jungkook’s cries came to a halt when his eyes landed on all the marks on your arms and neck. He stopped breathing for a second and his defeated eyes suddenly grew dark and enraged.

“The worst part is, I don’t even know who caused which ones, Yunho or you” you said, your voice sounding tired. Jungkook’s heart sank at your words, and it was the realisation that he and Yunho were no different which haunted him. Yunho hurt you, but so did he.

Jungkook quickly crawled closer to you and you let him. His cold and shaky hands reached to cup your face and lift your head up a little. You flinched at his touch and your body stiffened, but you let him. His watery eyes scanned the bruise around your neck, specifically the hand print, and you could see the fury bubbling inside his eyes and the way his body violently shook.

“H-He-”

“yes Jungkook, he, your fucking best friend” you interrupted. “And there’s no point going up to him now, because it’s too late. What’s done is done. He won’t regret a thing even if you beat the crap out of him” you told him.

Jungkook hated that you were right. He knew Yunho seeked pleasure in destroying things and hurting others. He just wished he had realised it sooner when he tried to hurt you.

“I’m not going to beat the crap out of him” Jungkook shook his head, “I’m going fucking kill him” he said.

You couldn’t help but chuckle in mockery, “too late don’t you think?” you looked at him. “I don’t care what you do with him Jungkook, just please,” your eyes softened, “just please leave me out of this mess, and let me go” you begged.

“I’m scared, okay? After what you pulled yesterday, it made me realise that you’re no different to the rest of the vampires. And as much as it hurts to let you go, I know it’s the best for me and to keep myself and my family safe. I hope you can at least respect my decision and leave me alone after this” you softly cried.

Jungkook’s shoulders dropped and his heart shattered into pieces. He knew this was coming, but he didn’t prepare to deal with the pain it came with.

“And you know what I’ve been thinking of lately before all this happened?” you then began, and all Jungkook could do was sit and listen.

“I’m a human who is bound to die when my time comes. I will grow old while you stay young and live for many more years to come. How was our relationship going to work? When I die, would you live on to find your next lover and forget about me? Could there be a way for me to live with you forever?” you spoke.

Jungkook was thrown back at your words, but coming to think about it, his heart dropped. “You know I would search for a lifetime to find a way for us to be together forever” he said, and you chuckled. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. Not when you doubted my loyalty” you told him.

You grabbed your jacket and wore it before standing up. Your legs shook and you were about to fall, but Jungkook quickly caught you. But you flinched and pushed him away. Jungkook felt his chest tighten and he clenched his fists as he retracted his hands.

He knew your decision was final and that he had to let you go. There was nothing he could do but blame himself for what he had caused. “I’m sorry princess, I really am. I never meant to hurt you like this” his lips quivered the spoke, “and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you” he cried. 

Your heart ached watching him cry. Vampires weren’t emotionally sensitive and known for having thick skin. But with Jungkook, you knew he was truly regretting. You could see how defeated and desperate he was at the same time. He lost you, and he was scared of what his life would be without you.

“It really didn’t have to end this way Jungkook. I love you, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me, let alone someone who would kill the woman he loves over his own insecurities” you responded. Jungkook shut his eyes as he cried, gripping a fistful of his hair.

“I’m sorry” he kept repeating like a chant, as if he wished it would magically fix everything. “Yeah, me too” you said. You stared at him for the last time before grabbing your things and leaving.

That was the last time you had seen Jungkook, and it tore you to pieces having to leave a man who you thought was the one. But turns out your parents were right all along — he was just like the rest of the night hunters.

You didn’t know how to face your parents after this, but you knew that as long as you were safe, it was all that mattered to them. When you moved back with your parents, they welcomed you like a lost child finally being returned home.

They felt bad about what happened between you and Jungkook, but a big part of them were relieved that you were no longer associated with a creature like him. It was hard adjusting to your new routine without Jungkook, and you had a few mental breakdowns every now and then thinking about him.

You missed him so bad no matter how much you hated him. He was your first love, and getting over your first love is never easy.

But there has always been a nagging feeling inside of you that no matter how much you both loved each other, the two of you were just not meant to be. While you grow old and rot away after death, Jungkook will continue with his life for a hundred more years. And you couldn’t help but think of the possibility of him finding a new lover.

The thought of it all made you want to dig up a hole and bury yourself in it.

But at one point, you knew you had to learn to move on and not let the pain drag you forever. You took it as a lesson to not trust anyone and always look out for yourself and the people you cared about. You hoped that Jungkook would keep your words and not meddle with you and your life again.

Days blended into nights as Jungkook roamed the darkness. His immortal existence stretched before him, a seemingly endless expanse of emptiness. He never felt so lost and alone in his entire lifetime.

He didn’t know what his purpose was anymore without you, and the pain of the heartbreak will forever haunt him. He couldn’t keep the promise he made to his mother, to never hurt the person he loved, yet here he was.

But Jungkook kept his promise when he said he would never hunt down a human. Instead, he spent his nights hunting for the blood of animals in the nearby forest. Despite his forced isolation, Jungkook couldn't bring himself to cut all ties with you. From a distance, he would watch over you like a silent guardian in the shadows.

He remembered your words and promised to not let a single vampire go near you and your family. But he still longed for your touch, yet he knew that his very presence could only bring you harm.

But Jungkook had more pressing matters to attend to than his broken heart.

Yunho was still around doing what he usually did, like he didn’t do anything wrong. So there he stood, in front of his best friend’s house, with a wooden stake tightly gripped in his hand. His jaw was tightly clenched and his gaze hardened as he huffed out a breath before kicking the door open.

Despite his immortal nature, Jungkook had never felt more human than in that moment, consumed by the agony of lost love and the burning desire for revenge.

There, in the dimly lit living room, sat Yunho who had a smirk playing on lips. “Oh? Jungkook?” Yunho slightly tilted his head, acting clueless.

But Jungkook didn’t say a word, because he knew Yunho was well aware why he was here. With a gaze as cold as death itself, he advanced towards him, the stake glinting ominously in the moonlight.

There was no need for explanations, no room for apologies. Only justice, swift and merciless, could mend the shattered fragments of his wounded heart and joy.

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗗

@𝗷𝗸𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰

©️

(insta: jikooksrkive)

#jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts jungkook #bts moodboard #btsedit #jungkook #bts smut #bts x fem!reader #bts fanfic #bts #bts imagines #bts updates #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic

[ctrl-alt-cel]

when i was 13 i wrote an essay explaining the rationale of puppyshipping to some guy in a skype chatroom. found the essay again. wanted to rewrite it. without further ado:

HERE’S HOW PUPPYSHIPPING CAN STILL WIN: THE SEQUEL: 2 PUPPY 2 SHIPPING (4.3k words)

⠀

kaiba and jounouchi’s relationship stands at an awkwardly undefinable place in canon: they're not on good terms, but they're not enemies either. they know each other too well to be called passing acquaintances, but kaiba hardly acknowledges jounouchi as a duelist, let alone a potential rival. at best? they're mutual nuisances.

or, that's how jounouchi and kaiba choose to define it. both of them would love if their dynamic were that simple, nothing more than a back-and-forth of petty insults—but that’s not the truth. and they'll dance around the truth for five whole seasons, purposefully downplaying why they’re so obsessed with provoking each other whenever they’re in the same place.

they're foils.

—but the term "foils" is so dulled within fandom lexicon now that it can mean literally anything from two guys who just disagree with each other sometimes, so i'll sharpen this further. jounouchi and kaiba see their counterpart less as an individual person but more a representation of who they could have become if they had respectively, in their eyes, never learned the lessons they needed to. they project their own ideals onto the other and come away thinking they already know how the other operates, and the fun thing is, even when working from conjecture, their assumptions of one another happen to hit far closer to home than they have any right to.

so really, they can't leave each other alone because they can't stop seeing their failures reflected back at them. the other is a defective version of themselves that they need to correct because they can't stand constantly acknowledging who they used to be, so they try to bend the other to be more like their own image—an "i can fix him (by dragging him down to my level)".

⠀

jounouchi and kaiba’s parallels run down to their origins, both set up against abysmal family situations they have no choice but to make the best of. seto and mokuba are orphaned at a young age until seto gets them adopted, while katsuya is separated from his sister and stuck with a deadbeat father who can't carry his own weight. trapped in an environment where nobody expects anything worthwhile from him, katsuya joins a gang and lives out a self-admittedly miserable existence before befriending yugi, while seto is in a battlefield of his own, faced with protecting mokuba while enduring against the nightmare that is gozaburo kaiba’s parenting.

what they do to survive those conditions determines the outlooks they carry for the rest of their lives: jounouchi learns that losing is inescapable and the best you can do is learn how to cope with it, whereas kaiba learns that losing is something you must protect yourself from because there's only so much you can afford to lose.

jounouchi is positioned as the underdog, fighting tooth-and-nail for every victory he can manage, while kaiba has power in excess and holds to the belief that it’s all he really needs. one would argue that they have the perspective the other lacks—they argue that they have the perspective the other lacks. but in my opinion? it doesn't actually matter. what interests me is how they treat each other as a result.

⠀

side: seto kaiba

kaiba degrades jounouchi a lot. like, to an uncomfortable extent. you know that one post that’s like “why does bullying exist? why are you mad that i’m ugly?” why is kaiba so mad over the fact that jounouchi loses so much?

it’s projection. he’s just holding jounouchi to the same standard he holds himself to. you need to be powerful if you want to play the same games as kaiba, and seeing jounouchi so openly lean on his friends, ask for help, and have the audacity to lose sets kaiba off because he’s not playing the way he’s supposed to. kaiba rubs jounouchi's losses in his face because he believes that's what loss is supposed to look like, and that it’s jounouchi’s fault for not understanding that yet. kaiba is trying to teach him. to kaiba, this degradation might as well be an act of generosity.

while kaiba stayed true to his own ambitions, seizing kaibacorp from gozaburo and turning it into a children's entertainment company, he beat gozaburo at his own game not by inventing new rules but by playing it better than his adoptive father ever could. and as impressive as that is, it’s not sustainable. gozaburo kills himself when faced with his own defeat, and kaiba internalizes this lesson: that all losses are final, and it’s better to die than adapt to the consequences of a defeat. gozaburo’s death was a suicide, but in the context of their game, kaiba might as well have killed him regardless.

he mirrors this when he threatens to kill himself in duelist kingdom, his heightened emotions catastrophizing losing the duel to immediately equal failing mokuba and coming to the conclusion that if he loses mokuba he’d rather be dead. being someone so fervently self-reliant, any alternate solution, a possibility that he can lose here and still find a different way to rescue mokuba never crosses his mind. and, look, this isn’t his fault. this is the only way of living he’s ever been taught. he’s never learned how to cope in the event of failure because he’s never had the luxury to fail to begin with.

he's burned and rebuilt himself over and over again to survive in the world he operates in, and that’s why jounouchi pisses kaiba off so personally. jounouchi loses so much and so messily, and kaiba tries to show him that if he doesn’t start reinventing himself from the broken pieces of his defeats until all that’s left of him are jagged edges the same way he has, he’s never going to win. but jounouchi…does win. and keeps winning. and even when he does lose, it’s as if he creates new victories for himself, like there’s still value to playing a game with someone when you don’t win it—power of friendship bullshit and whatever. jounouchi is still here, a competitor that kaiba can no longer write off as much as he desperately wants to. (and, yeah, it is pretty ironic how jounouchi will jump through a million hoops to get kaiba to look at him, but he doesn't realize that he doesn't need to do anything to keep kaiba’s attention, only continue being himself.)

jounouchi refuses to compromise who he is and still manages to get far when in kaiba’s mind, that shouldn’t be possible; he’s supposed to be punished the way kaiba was. jounouchi is proof that you can take a devastating blow and move on from it, that even when you do fuck up spectacularly, there’s still something worthwhile in starting again tomorrow.

so kaiba constantly needs to prove that he’s better than jounouchi, that jounouchi isn’t even worth his time in order to justify his worldview. because if kaiba isn’t right, then he'll have no choice but to confront the fact that the war is over. that his circumstances aren’t instant life or death anymore and that even though he’s freed himself from gozaburo’s influence, there’s still further growth as a person he could stand to undergo, now divorced from the harsh conditions of his upbringing. jounouchi is a testament to how it’s possible to make peace and move on from the past without constantly bleeding for closure, that maybe, kaiba’s headlong quest to get the last word on his rivalry with yami yugi may not actually be as fulfilling as he thinks.

but admitting that you might need to change the way you live feels like a defeat in and of itself—it’s infuriating to hear that after everything you’ve had to learn, the way you live now isn’t good enough. that surviving insurmountable trauma doesn’t inherently make you better or more worthy than other people—it just traumatizes you, and is something you must heal from. so, instead of reflecting on these revelations, it’s so much easier for kaiba to tell himself that jounouchi is only ever graceful when he’s dead.

⠀

side: katsuya jounouchi

jounouchi is very stuck on this idea that he needs to be useful. his dad is an alcoholic with a gambling addiction and he believes it's not only his duty to pay his father's debts, but to be the household's sole source of income. his sister needs eye surgery and he believes it's his responsibility as an older brother not only to pay for it, but to act as her primary emotional support to get the surgery and throughout her recovery process. haga throws yugi's exodia into the ocean and jounouchi blames himself for not stopping it. jounouchi gets mind-controlled by malik and blames himself for causing his friends anguish from it. mai literally gets jounounchi’s soul stolen and he apologizes to her for messing up and making her sad. it's habitual, jounouchi doesn't know how to stop taking on the burdens of other people.

if you live with the mentality that you’re inevitably going to fail for long enough, you’ll come away with the belief that caring about your own wellbeing isn’t worth the effort. it depends on how pessimistic you want to read it, if it’s just his love language or jounouchi compensating for the damning act of being himself, but jounouchi quantifies his worth by how much he provides for other people. he’s always jumping in the line of fire for the sake of others because if you constantly undervalue your own wellbeing, you always have less to lose. as the underdog, he may not be as overtly powerful as kaiba or yugi, but he can still give himself away, and he’s convinced himself that it’s what he’s supposed to do. jounouchi is still new to this whole friendship thing. after a lifetime of supporting himself by himself, he doesn't know when he's allowed to ask for help yet—he’s supposed to be the help, dammit.

a key distinction between jounouchi and kaiba’s upbringings is that while kaiba’s biological parents died in an accident, jounouchi’s parents are still alive and they choose not to be responsible for him. jounouchi is conditioned to fend for himself by himself because having a parental figure actually present in his life isn’t a luxury he gets to have. to jounouchi, there has to be a reason why his mother only takes shizuka and never goes back for him in the six years he’s left with his father, and he rationalizes this with his notions of masculinity: he’s a strong man who can handle it. jounouchi is not delicate, he can endure it. men are responsible for their own circumstances. kaiba is hyperindependent out of a mixture of spite, paranoia, and self-defense. jounouchi is hyperindependent because he believes he deserves it. it’s the reason why he believes he’ll finally have a good relationship with his father if he just wins enough money to pay off his gambling debts—jounouchi can fix everything if only he were man enough to, and he can get people to stay if he demonstrates himself useful enough.

so death doesn’t carry nearly as much weight to jounouchi as it does to kaiba. in kaiba’s eyes, death is the punishment for failure, but to jounouchi, death is just the natural consequence for the kind of life he leads. he can't stop himself from fighting for the people he loves until he’s spent everything and forced to stop (read: dies), so during the several times jounouchi is confronted with his own death, he meets it with a solemn acceptance. like, yeah, it sucks, but he doesn’t regret the actions he took to end up here—he’d do it all over again, frankly. it’s better to die than not give everything he can, and at least he was able to give his life in service to someone else. it’s not necessarily good to die, but it doesn’t matter as much if he does.

so where kaiba is afraid of losing, jounouchi is afraid of outliving his usefulness (and being abandoned as a result), and kaiba disrupts jounouchi’s worldview specifically because he puts his ideology on the defensive. to jounouchi, kaiba’s presence never demands a question of “what can you do for me?” (nothing, kaiba doesn’t want jounouchi to do anything for him, and frankly, he’d be insulted if jounouchi even tried) but “what makes you worthy of standing on the same level as me?”, and jounouchi can’t sacrificial lamb get set on fire die a billion times into getting kaiba into seeing it his way (rather, that would only prove him right: kaiba would love nothing more than for jounouchi to lose the ability to fight and finally align with his preconceived notions of how the world works), and he can’t argue that his value is in how much he provides for others because that’s a non-answer. kaiba doesn’t care.

kaiba’s presence forces jounouchi into a position of self-reflection: jounouchi works so hard to preserve the friendships he’s created, but who is he—what does he value about himself in the absence of it? jounouchi needs to acknowledge something inherently valuable about himself if he wants to counter kaiba in any meaningful way, and it’s not like he doesn’t have valuable qualities either: he’s tenacious, he’s resourceful, he’s a quick learner—it takes intelligence to rank as high as he does in tournaments, but he undervalues all of it. these traits are all to be expected, they don’t actually count as extraordinary when it’s him. they’re only remarkable when they’re being applied to something greater. jounouchi believes he has the potential to become strong (and valuable by extension), only with the stipulation that he’s never actually there yet. he focuses too much on his inadequacies, constantly pontificating on how he needs to become a “true duelist”, but by the way he speaks about the title, the only way to be a true duelist is be named yugi muto, i guess.

so it’s very jounouchi-esque for him to miss this point with near deliberate precision and try to make himself useful to kaiba anyway. while kaiba is bent on seeing jounouchi fail to prove that his cynicism is superior to jounouchi’s altruism, the inverse is that jounouchi sees his old self in kaiba and he’s dying to teach kaiba a lesson. during battle for bronze, jounouchi states that they used to be the same, people who only relied on themselves and thought they’d be fine living like that. the argument jounouchi makes is that living that way is fucking miserable. he calls kaiba out: you’re supposed to be having fun. why are you playing duel monsters if you’re not having fun? he’s trying to show kaiba that he can be useful and teach kaiba things if kaiba would just let him, but for reasons mentioned in both of their sections, kaiba isn’t interested in being taught anything.

while less malicious in display, it's important to note that jounouchi’s method of trying to teach kaiba doesn't make him the better person here. jounouchi isn’t coming from a place of understanding when he lectures kaiba, he’s coming from a place of misdirected self-flagellation. and from kaiba's perspective, jounouchi is just dispensing unwarranted advice for the sake of his own ego. the most egregious example is when jounouchi picks a fight with kaiba in duelist kingdom, demanding they duel when kaiba is clearly not in the mood, busy with more pressing matters like, i don’t know, trying to rescue his abducted brother? so, okay, maybe a little bit inconsiderate on jounouchi’s part.

they're two ideological extremes: kaiba lashes out at the world while jounouchi gives himself to it, and jounouchi will keep barging in on kaiba with his life lessons because it’s the only way he wants to engage with kaiba’s arguments otherwise. jounouchi interprets kaiba’s rejection of his ideals as the equivalent of the stubbornness jounouchi had before befriending yugi, and he uses it as a reason to keep pushing, not understanding that while he may have found the most honorable path for himself, you can imagine how constantly burning yourself for others isn’t very…appealing. or sustainable. and that maybe it’s something you need to work on, actually.

⠀

conclusion: how i WIN

what’s fun about jounouchi and kaiba is how wrong they are. they genuinely can't live the way the other demands them to, their respective environments won’t allow it. if jounouchi chased victory with the same cutthroat relentlessness as kaiba, he probably never would have left his gang. or, at least, he’d lose the selfless devotion and consideration he has for others, traits that helped him build his support system, and he never would have found the friendships he values in his life—his willingness to change and start again was how he was able to befriend yugi to begin with. (and if you wanted to get really extreme with hypotheticals, his self-destructive tendencies could have grown so severe in the absence of a support system that he probably would wind up getting himself killed somewhere. lol.) inversely, if kaiba granted himself the freedom to worry less about the outcome as long as he enjoyed himself, he’d put mokuba’s safety at constant risk. kaiba’s guarded nature isn’t without reason, there are powerful corporate executives who would love to see him fail, and there are very real consequences if kaiba slips up for even a second and gives his opposition any leeway. the way they live works for them because it’s theirs. it’s not so much that either of their lifestyles are in dire need of correction, but that the other represents the possibility that they could be living better.

and this is fantastic because it means that, despite what they think, neither of them are in the “wrong” and must learn to change their idiot ways or that the solution is to strong-arm each other into some kind of compromise. it’s a battle of perceived weakness. they need to, naturally and individually, accept that the traits they’ve always deemed immature and beneath them can be just as vital for survival, even when it’s not necessarily their own.

jounouchi and kaiba are essentially the most extreme example of two people who want what’s best for each other (gone wrong!) and puppyshipping is appealing because them getting together requires that they stop punishing themselves for who they used to be. they expect too much out of themselves and then inflict those demands onto each other, but if they’re not wrong for the ways they’ve overcome the circumstances they were left in, then it’s equally true that the ideals they abandoned to survive weren’t inherently naïve just because they weren’t given the space to utilize them. sometimes life will push you to your limits in the hope that you fail, and there’s no deeper meaning to it. it’s not life’s way of teaching you a necessary lesson to make you stronger or a test to see if you deserve to live, or that it’s your fault when it breaks you. sometimes there’s no great meaning to suffering. things happen, and you will adjust to it in order to live. when kaiba and jounouchi believe they know each other as much as they know themselves, pairing them is the hope that they’ll respect themselves enough to respect each other, that they’ll one day be able to embrace the parts of themselves they’re the most ashamed of.

(or, you know, for the alternative crowd, they most definitely can make each other worse.)

for two men who claim to be so self-assured in their own lifestyles, jounouchi and kaiba are fascinating because there’s so many layers of denial at play: the denial that they see anything in each other, denial that there may be aspects of the other that they’ve come to envy, denial that they even care, and it's so tempting to imagine if all of it was forced open. jounouchi and kaiba choose to maintain this delicate equilibrium where they never actually confront anything because the idea of admitting vulnerability viscerally disgusts them, and it begs what would happen if the balance irrevocably tipped for once. watching them is like watching a pencil teetering on the edge of a desk, always this close to some kind of breakthrough. i won’t even lie to you puppyshipping pisses me off half the time because i just want to shake them around until something metaphorically breaks.

kaiba and jounouchi never let each other become complacent in their pasts: whenever their personal tragedies and childhoods are brought up in the context of one another, it’s never because they are being vindicated for continuing to dwell in them, but because they are being contested on how much the mindsets they’ve carried over from their pasts should be allowed to determine their futures.

returning to canon, kaijou operates through the language of competition. jounouchi tries to prove himself as a competitor so remarkable that kaiba can no longer deny him, while kaiba already knows he’s remarkable, and that is precisely why acknowledging it pisses him off so much. so they’ll play their game: jounouchi will provoke kaiba into fighting him because he enjoys going up against challenging opponents in the hopes of becoming stronger, whereas kaiba keeps trying to set up situations where jounouchi will lose to the point of letting him die because he wants so badly to believe that losing does equal death and jounouchi’s existence is the most inconvenient counterargument of all. and obviously, jounouchi keeps not dying. and it's endlessly infuriating—almost slapstick at this point, that much to kaiba's frustration, no matter what he does, he can never make jounouchi submit for very long.

jounouchi and kaiba spur each other on to a ridiculous extent: kaiba enjoys pushing jounouchi past the breaking point, whereas jounouchi enjoys getting pushed to his limits to test his own capabilities. whether that’s necessarily a good thing though is…well…hmm. anyways. 

their dynamic is the type of messiness only two prideful high schoolers can get up to. maybe it’s just kaiba's repression and jounouchi's recklessness, but there is a fascination with each other that they’re incapable of leaving alone. there’s intimacy in knowing someone so well and fearing that fact, but kaiba and jounouchi never respond to this fear by avoiding it—they’re engaging with it time and time again. they infuriate each other with a passion that never sits still. kaiba and jounouchi seek a validation from their counterpart while simultaneously denying each other from it, and it’s mean, but invigoratingly so.

at some point, it’s not even about wanting validation anymore, but point-blank wanting its keeper by any capacity: wanting a visible reaction to their effort as proof of reciprocation, proof that says “i’ve finally affected you just as much as you affect me.” because kaiba and jounouchi want to leave a mark on each other, they want their counterpart to fully understand how much they’ve affected them, and they want to witness that reaction themselves. it’s no longer this big, nebulous ideological debate with a reflection: the pull between them is made both physical and personal. so, like, not to go the trite route of arguing that two men who can’t stand each other were ~secretly attracted to each other this whole time~, but how else are you supposed to word this?

in some hypothetical universe where they do come together, even the ways they love manage to compliment each other in its own clumsy way. seto kaiba never does anything in moderation: if he hates something he will destroy it, if he loves something he will possess it, and if he is obsessed with something, he will single-mindedly pursue it at the expense of everything else. his repression manifests itself in a passion so pressurized it’s all-consuming against everything it comes to contact with. inversely, katsuya jounouchi loves freely and transparently: showing affection comes as naturally as breathing to him. he embodies the belief that love is not only about the grand gestures, but the day-to-day acts of warmth and casual acknowledgments that it's there. a man who wants to be wanted by someone so badly it aches paired with someone who makes no reservations as to what he's committed to, capable of a love so overwhelmingly insatiable that it is neither fickle nor delicate, and a man who finds the act of trusting others with his affection so unthinkably humiliating that he’s convinced himself it’s something beneath him paired with someone who makes it look infuriatingly easy. they are going to invent a new language to love each other with. i believe in them. i would not write two separate essays titled “here’s how puppyshipping can still win” if i did not believe in them. 

ultimately, it feels cheap to build kaiba and jounouchi’s relationship off what life lessons they could "teach" each other reformation-style when they already have a legitimate dynamic in play. they can be good for each other, or they can tear into each other in ways they’d never expect to be capable of. there’s something exhilarating in knowing there’s someone who has that kind of power and wanting to keep them within your reach, a buzzing excitement in knowing someone who can not only withstand you at your worst, but fight back at you with twice as much vigor. sure, there’s potential for growth here, but that’s because there’s potential for literally anything.

kaiba and jounouchi inspire reinvention and self-determination from each other at the best of times and enable each other’s most self-destructive tendencies at their worst. so i think. puppyshipping is the most fun. when you ship them the same way you leave a fork in the microwave to watch it explode. the end.

TL;DR: me x the guy who keeps breaking my worldview and forces me to reevaluate myself every time i see him which i hate so much that i just want him to DIE

#puppyshipping #violetshipping #seto kaiba #joey wheeler #ship analysis #character study #not intended to convince anyone of anything this was a silly project to do on the side for MEEE #also i genuinely dont think any of the points i make are new #in my quest to be as holistic as possible and read every puppyshipping-adjacent meta analysis i could get my hands on #defense essays. criticism. livejournal blogposts #ive found several times that every point i make has already been made before in some kaijou 200k longfic posted in like 2011 #so if this essay is for ANYONE who isnt me. #its for the kaijou fic authors who have put in the work. god's strongest soldiers etc etc #actually. might reblog with an actual afterword citing my favorite ygo analysis i read in prep for this lol #i allude to a few of them in certain sections but i think youd have to be REALLY chronically online to notice #(coughing) #anyways special thanks to the friends who kindly beta read a document titled 'YAOI THESIS FINAL.docx' #fer + voski + cherry + sully + eric + cleo + gabby + chris + clover + vio #dear god i have inflicted this essay onto so many people #i love you. #you have enabled me and now we're all paying the price #yugioh

[dirtytransmasc]

What’s Jake and Neytiris reaction the Absolute scolding Ronel gives them

I feel like there would be a moment of silence, ronal staring at the two with anger and them just looking back so thoroughly shocked that they have nothing to say. tonowari is just behind her, not showing a speck of disagreement within his barely hidden grimace.

neytiri wants to fight back, doesn't just want to take this scorn, but jake is trying to keep her quiet, knowing that it would be better to just talk it out.

"with all do respect, but you can't just take our kid,"

"you do not treat him like your child, you do not care for him, you do not love him."

"you have no right" neytiri would hiss, cause she's being backed into a metaphorical corner and she's not liking.

"did you realize he stopped eating? that he hasn't slept in a proper bed in almost a week or that he barely talks? did you even notice his pain, here" she places a hand on her forehead, "or here" she motions to here heart.

Jake would probably wince, try and pull Neytiri back, trying to calm the situation. "we've all been grieving, we just lost a son, you can't expect us to be perfect"

"and has anyone been there for him, helped him mourn?"

silence from all parties, Neytiri shocked, Jake biting his lip

"Its not that I expect perfection, I expect bare minimum, I expect that your son be cared for. what I expect is that he be loved and by the way he reacted to me and tonowari? I doubt he has had that."

"what are you accusing us of?" Neytiri bites

"he believed being loved was asking for too much, he felt like being offered a bed to sleep in or food he could actually eat, was too much. when he collapsed from hunger while aiding my son in the clean up, he thought being given aid and support was taking too much attention. He flinches from me and my mate's touch, he dismisses any sort of attention, he tried to deny medical care. He is in pain, he is scared, and yet he is more worried about pulling attention off of himself than letting us take care of him. why is a child so self sacrificial? why is he so scared of being loved, of being given attention? why does he feel so undeserving?" her voice was trembling as anger was turning to tears.

at that point both mother's would be falling into their husbands, ronal exhausted, neytiri in shock. tonowari clenching his jaw in attempts to keep his own eyes from water, and jake with his mouth agape, jaw on the floor after hearing of his "son's" condition.

"you will go back to your children, you will love them as you have loved them their whole lives, and you will leave spider in our care, and you will stop questioning me. spider is deserves more then this, more then what he has been given." her voice quiet.

"we understand that your feelings on the boy are complicated and in a way justified after all you've been through; the skypeople, the rda, the people he came from, hurt you so horribly; you put that blame on him because you were hurting. But do not think we will allow this to continue because you selfishly want to hold onto him." tonowari finally speaks, his own voice is just as choked as his wife's.

neytiri looks up at jake, nods, before turning away and back to their hut, something heavy and undefinable written all over her face and body. jake stays back, his whole body starting to tense and shake.

"we never meant to... he was just, I-"

"we know, so do the right thing, and give him up" ronal cuts him off, she doesn't sound like she agrees with her words, but she bites her tongue.

"yeah, right, just... just treat him right, I know you will, but..." the words die on his tongue, and slowly, he turns to leave, knowing that this was the night he lost a second son.

#their reaction would be anger. disbelief. and hostility/bargaining (depending on the person at hand) #but ronal would shut that shit down hard and fast #ficlet style answer because I can #ronal #tonowari #jake sully #neytiri #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #miles socorro #avatar spider #spider avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #spider tonowari'itan #hi'i'tsyil te fkew'weopx tonowari'itan

[idrellegames]

Hi folks, 

A new patch has been released! Patch 2.4. is an important patch that contains several UI updates and new Episode 2 content.

PLEASE READ THE PATCH NOTES CAREFULLY. This update will affect your save files. Depending on your continuity, some save files will require a restart from a certain point; others may contain insignificant errors that do not affect gameplay until you proceed to Episode 3.

NOTES ON SAVE FILES

As bugs are fixed, previous saves may continue to have continuity errors on them. Please take save file notes into account when loading old saves; you may need to restart the game from certain points to fix continuity errors.

✦ Always start the game in a new tab/window OR refresh your tab. You WILL miss patch updates and be playing on old versions of the game if you do not refresh your tab.

✦ Some icons and fonts will not load if you play offline. This may break elements of the UI.

✦ If you see the $lastname1 variable, you are playing on a old save. You must restart the game from the beginning in order to fix it.

✦ If you used the Quick Character Creator to make a character, chose to use your mentor’s surname, went back to make edits to your character and did not choose your mentor’s surname, you will have a game-breaking bug on your file. The game will treat your character as if they selected their mentor’s surname even if they did not. The only way to fix this is to restart with a new character and play from the beginning.   

✦ If your save file is from before January 2022 and you left off in the middle of Episode 1, you must start a new file from the beginning. Continuing with your old save will cause the buff/debuff system to trigger incorrectly.

✦ If you encounter the state.variables.aeran_approval is undefined error at the end of Episode 2 or bad conditional expression in <<if>> clause: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading ‘ep1’) during Episode 2, your save is too old. You must restart from the beginning of the game OR from a save that starts BEFORE the beginning of Episode 2.

✦ If you approval with Aeran was below 60 at the beginning of the fight scene at the end of Episode 2, you MUST replay from before the fight. If you do not replay the fight sequence, you may experience continuity errors on your playthrough later on.

✦ Pacts made with the Count will not appear in your Journal if your save is from before September 26, 2022. You must restart the game from the beginning if you want them in your Pact list.

On save files from before September 26, 2022, the $pactcomplete variable will remain undefined until you either:

Proceed to the first passage of Episode 2 (if you save is from Episode 1)

Proceed to the first passage of Episode 3 (if your save is from Episode 2)

✦ If your save is in the middle of Episode 1, you will encounter an error where the $pactcomplete variable cannot be added to even if you retrieve the chalice. If you do not want to have any errors with this variable on your file, you must restart the game from the beginning.

Firefox Users

Firefox has a setting that may override Wayfarer's fonts. To ensure the game's fonts display as intended, go to Settings -> Fonts -> Advanced. Check "Allow pages to choose their own fonts, instead of your selections above".

PATCH NOTES

UI/Graphics

✦ Extended the time the Idrelle Games logo lasts and added a Twine logo to the start of the game. These can be clicked through to dismiss.

✦ New messages at the start of the game to warn about in-development content and to remind players to double-check patch notes.

✦ Minor visual adjustments; added the Wayfarer sigil to a few new places.

✦ Added aeda heritage to the player’s Character page. Currently, heritage is only visible if the player speaks to the aeda interpreter in the water gardens.

✦ Added a “Principles and Beliefs” section to the Character page. This will track any major static character choices (i.e. whether the MC drinks or not, the MC’s opinion on magic, religion, etc).

The player will receive a “Journal Updated” notification when they make a choice that defines their character’s principles and beliefs.

✦ Added a “Pacts” page to the Journal. This is similar to a quest log and will track active, completed, and failed pacts. Faction pacts will continue to be tracked in their faction profile. Added a new icon for miscellaneous pacts that aren’t associated with a faction.

The chalice quest is now officially a pact.

The two pacts you can make with the Crimson Count (the chalice quest and serving him indefinitely as a bodyguard) will not show in the Pacts log unless you replay Episode 1.

The $pactcomplete variable now tracks how many pacts the player finishes. If you current save file is in the middle of Episode 1, this variable will not be defined until you proceed to Episode 2. If your current save file is in the middle of Episode 2, this variable will not be defined until you proceed to Episode 3. As such, your save may have the wrong pact complete count, but this will not affect gameplay.

If you want to have the Count’s pacts and the pact complete count display correctly on your save file, you should restart with a new save file.

✦ Added a patch notes popup. This is available from the title screen and the credits. Patch notes are a stripped down version of the Save File notes; for full patch notes, always read the latest development log post.

Gameplay Fixes

[CHARACTER CREATOR] Fixed a bug where the game recorded the MC has having taken their mentor’s surname when they did not. If your find this bug in your current save file, you must restart from the beginning with a new character to fix it.

[EPISODE 1, ROUTE A] Fixed an inventory glitch during the scene at Runes & Relics when Drakehand returns the MC’s Wayfarer pendant. You will need to replay from before this section to have the pendant put into your inventory properly.

[EPISODE 1, THE COVE] Fixed an error with the haggling scene with Thelkar. You should now be able to haggle with him if you have enough funds.

[EPISODE 2] Fixed a glitch where Aeran’s letter does not show up in the codex after the MC reads it. You will need to replay from before this section to have it show up.

[EPISODE 2] Added additional text to the Episode 2 Story Log that summarizes the MC’s activities after the fight with Aeran.

New Lore

Adjusted some of Quirinus’ dialogue lines in the Prologue

Updated the Calendar. The in-universe calendar is now a 13-month calendar with 28 days each. I highly recommend checking out the codex entry for some new lore about the moon!

Updated the Astrandium mythology. “Harbingers”(which was always a placeholder name) has been replaced with Apokarians. The player’s introduction to the Astrandium in Episode 1 and its relevant codex entry have been updated to reflect this.

New Content

Updated the Aeran fight at the end of Episode 2 with new content. There are now four potential branches:

 Drunk Route (the MC is intoxicated)

High Approval (Aeran’s approval is 60 or higher)

[NEW] Neutral Approval (Aeran’s approval is between 20 and 59, or his romance stat has any points)

Hostile Approval (Aeran’s approval is below 19)

The Neutral Approval branch features a different sequence of events and new options for the MC. If you are experimenting with potential outcomes, it is highly recommended to take the ABSTAIN option or let the timer run out on the timed choice.

Some sections of the Hostile Approval route have been re-written. A hidden strength check has been removed and replaced with a different continuity flag.

Due to this change, old saves from before this patch may have continuity errors. If your approval with Aeran was below 60 before the fight, you must replay Episode 2 from the Lethalis meeting or earlier.

Screenshots

#wayfarer #wayfarer if #announcements #dev log #interactive fiction #interactive novel #twine #twine game #cyoa

[firelordgrantham]

kotlc endgame

How I would like Keeper of the last Cities to end:

(bare in mind, when I say people are married or on a job, it's far, far after the series ending since they are all quite young)

Sophie

She is a member of the Council, took Oralie's place after she was fired when her parenthood was revealed to the public. Although she is (with Bronte's help since he was interested and curious about what the Black Swan preached) trying to pass a bill to allow Councilors to have families, she is single. She mentions that even if it takes a hundred years to pass the bill, ''he'' will wait for her all the same, the ''he'' being undefined so as to allow both Keephies and Sophitzes to take it home as their own.

Fitz

After a lot of therapy, he has learned to manage his anger/lashing out issues, and is training under both his parents to be the heir of the Vacker since they both want to kinda retire now that the war is over. He is a Keeper, like Quinlin, and is single.

Keefe

Working things out with his father but not going back to their house. Elvish embassador to the ogres. Was given an ogerish name by his new friends which basically means ''He-who-won't-shut-up-about-his-hair'' and he loves it. Single but is the favorite ''uncle'' of every kid of the next generation.

Dex

In a partnership for alchemy making with Kesler and Rex (the Talentless Triplet). He works alongside his wife Biana in this family business. They have three kids (Dendrick, Adara and Kalea). He has a secret lair in his attic, with a window invisible from the outside thanks to technology, and a few forbidden crystals, in order to extrade his whole family in case of danger (he still is traumatized by the many times he hurt his friends, whether it be the diadem or Fitz's impalement). Only Biana, Sophie and him know about that attic. It mainly is used as a safeguard in case the Council was not to be trusted anymore or a new threat such as the Neverseen were to arise. Their house is called Prankshire because Rex chose the name even tho no one asked him anything.

Biana

She is married to Dex and got kind of the same fame for that (marrying below her condition, a guy from a family with multiple births and talentless people, etc) than Consuelo Vanderbilt or Jenny Jerome for being american heiress who married into noble british families in the last 1800's. She works in alchemy with him but is on the To-call list of the Council in case they suddenly need more manpower. They have three kids as stated above.

Note about Bianex: although most people think it's such a scandal because they were not a match, they were, in fact. Biana was number 349 on Dex's list, and Dex was number 494 on Biana's list. The scandal is that they were so far on each other's list and that they eloped.

Tam

He lives in an overgrown forest with his family (his wife Marella, his kids Dailin and Caprise), in a manor near a river. On the other side of the river is a twin manor in which live Linh and her family. He reads shadowvapor for anyone (whom he trusts) who asks him to, and is the official shadowvapor reader of the Council. He lives in semi-reclusion with Marella because of the dangerosity of their powers and the lack of trust from other people and likes it. He trained both his children to fight with and without abilities in case the need would arise.

Linh

She lives in a twin manor to Tam near a river. The river's noise soothes her and also it's part of Tam's paranoid plan of defense: if they are under attack, she can use the river's water to protect them. She is married with Wylie and they ave three children: Twins Zoran and Andrin, and Tamhai. She is technically on house arrest because of some diplomatic tensions with the ogres, but spends her days painting, gardening and teaching her kids (especially Tamhai who is an hydrokinetic like her) and is happy of her life.

Wylie

He lives with Linh in one of the twin manors of Inniroots (the name of the land/property) but is employed as an Emissary by the Council and spends long amounts of time far from home. He sometimes meets up with Jensi, Fitz and Dex for a drink and a boy's night. He is the former member of Team Valiant who has the most contacts with Keefe since his job sends him to ogres kingdom regularly.

Note on Wylinh: Since he couldn't have his parents at their wedding and Linh didn't want hers, they had a very private ceremony with basically only the Team Valiant members and a few other close friends (among which a few pupils from Wylie's year).

Marella

She lives in Inniroots with Tam and their children Dailin and Caprise. Although personna non grata in most parts of the Lost Cities, she is not forbidden from exercising her ability due to services made to the Council, but has to do so under strict supervision. She ordered from Dex ability inhibitors to help keep control of her fire but he refused to do much since he fears his inventions will always be used against the original intent. She was extremely relieved when she discovered neither Dailin nor Caprise had pyrokinesy. She has come to appreciate her power but still has a few inhibitions regarding it.

Note on Tamarella:

Marucca

She is married to Jensi and they live in a cottage named Wuthershell. She is an Emissary for the Council and sometimes works in a team with Wylie and other emissaries. She is stationned half the year in Atlantis to watch over the dome. She has one daughter, Lilla.

Jensi

Married to Marucca, living in Wuthershell. Since Marucca is far from home half the year, he raised their daughter Lilla almost single-handedly.

Stina

She is working (under the guidance of Jurek, which is a first, a Talentless mentoring a noble) at the Sanctuary with unicorns and alicorns. She is regularly asking her matchmaker of an uncle about Keefe, waiting until he inscribes himself into the system to put herself too. She used to have a crush on Keefe but now simply made up her mind that they were ideal for each other and should be matched together if Keefe ever stopped waiting for Sophie. She is the only elf (outside of Sophie) whom Greyfell trusts, but it took a lot of time and her going through a litteral storm to find meds in order to heal a sprained wing of Luna.

The kids:

Dendrick (boy), born from Bianex around year 25 after the series' end. He is both a Vanisher and a Froster and is considered one of the most powerful pupils of Foxfire. He looks a lot like his father but has the eyes and hair colour of his mother.

Adara (girl), born from Bianex around year 30. She is a technopath who uses her powers à la Edna Mode, mixing it with fashion. She looks like Biana but ginger like her father.

Kalea (girl), born from Bianex around year 32. She is a Froster like Juline and is a very powerful telekinesy user since she's a late bloomer and feared she would be talentless, so she trained her other abilities as much as possible.

Dailin (boy), born from Tamarella around year 23, is a Guster like his grandfather. He looks a lot like his father, very asian in his features, except of course he doesn't have silver bangs. He is on the scouting list of the council as a powerful elf but is not interested in becoming one of their men since he is an introvert and would rather work from home or not at all, like his parents.

Caprise (girl), born from Tamarella around year 26, is a Shade. She is considered the prettiest girl in Foxfire but is not interested in dating yet. When she discovered her powers, she bought from the Dizznee shop a silver tainture and put a few silver strands in her black hair but her father told her it was a symbol of social exclusion and she shouldn't just decide to be a pariah if society included her, that being edgy just for the sake of edginess was taking all the meaning out of the gesture. She took it out and replaced it with golden (for her mother's blond hair). She wears her dark and golden hair in a plait.

Zoran (boy), born of Wylinh around year 23. He is a telepath and Andrin's cognate. They play pranks thanks to their ressemblance and power.

Andrin (boy), born of Wylinh around year 23. He is a telepath and Zoran's cognate. He will have Kalea as his number 1 on his matchmaking lists and will date her for a while but nothing will come of it.

Tamhai (boy), born of Wylinh around year 27. He is a hydrokinetic and his mother's sole rival in power. He writes poetry.

Lilla (girl), born of Marunsi around year 35. She is a phaser (actually, one of the only phasers capable of walking through her mother's shields) and is a great singer. She worked with Tamhai Endal to put some of his poems into music when they were both around 30, and that's how they started dating. They then proceeded to get matched, married, and have kids, but that's a different story.

Now concerning the other characters:

Alden and Della want to retire for a few centuries now that the war is over. They train Fitz to take over the management of Evergreen in the mean time.

Bronte is still in the Council and basically told Alina that before he would retire, a new Moonlark would need to be born. Or maybe ten. That was because Alina saw another Councillor resign after Oralie's departure and asked Bronte if he ever thought of retirement.

Oralie was fired by the Council to appease the people after it was revealed that she was a mother. She is disappointed but deals with it by running a charity for Waywards' re-insertion in society.

The Polyglott Lady whose name I can't remember is Keefe's mentor in diplomacy and ogrish language.

Grady and Edaline are still doing their thing of training dinosaurs to be vegans.

Clarette left the Council after Oralie was fired and went to work in the Sanctuary. Ironically, she is less senior than Stina, who started training there before her, and thus is the one going for coffee runs.

While Rex is working alongside Kesler, Bex is on the run for being a robber (à la Arsene Lupin) and Lex is planning to become an instructor at Exillium as soon as he grows tired of traveling around the world (which he does by flying).

Amy is now a 65 y.o. lady who got married with a human and had a daughter named Sophie (her parents love the name but don't know why it feels so dear to them). Sophie II is best friend with Bex, who sometimes jumps into the Forbidden cities to get away from the elvin ''police''. Sophie II was put in the secret of the elves when she got married herself and her aunt Sophie, who she has to keep a secret from her grands parents, arrived at the party with a middle-aged man in a beanie (to hide his ears: Bronte) and had not aged a day or almost since Amy's childhood photos.

Bronte went to Amy's wedding because he was invited as a joke. He then was the +1 of Sophie at Sophie II's wedding. He is trying to pass a bill to allow councillors to have a family and sometimes has friendly matches with Sophie about who can block the other's infliction best. He is getting better but so is Sophie. Elves who don't know them to be rather nice deep down think they are the most terrifying power couple ever since they are both inflictors and more or less friends.

anyway that's my headcanon/hope for the endgame? idk if it makes any sense?

#kotlc #kotlc sophie #kotlc keefe #kotlc fitz #kotlc dex #kotlc biana #kotlc tam #kotlc marella #kotlc linh #kotlc wylie #kotlc maruca #kotlc jensi #kotlc stina

[tapa321]

What will be the emerging trends of the real estate market?

Are you prepared for the rollercoaster ride of the real estate universe? For the year 2023, the plan for the real estate industry was simple: Ride the present risks and re-deploy the business to a state of lasting growth and higher returns. But now, the real estate industry is fighting a new scenario, where old policies do not hold true anymore and future prospects are undefined. In this blog, we will make a close survey on the existing real estate trends and how the market players including Tapasya Group are coping with the present trends. In addition to doing so, it is important to monitor what is happening in this ever changing environment and be flexible. It is true that the road will be bumpy, but it will also provide plenty of opportunities for those who are willing to focus on innovative thinking and change. Therefore, buckle up and get ready to embark on an enticing journey that brings numerous chances at any moment.

1. The Remote Work Where we are Evolving Offices Space:

The dramatic shift to the work-from-home model, due to COVID-19 pandemic, has become the basis for the commercial real estate market's transformation. Owing to a reorientation of flexible working conditions, enterprises started to adopt an alternative workspace style. These changes lead to decreased demand for old fashion offices. The remarkable growth of this trend has brought a division to the office market, where prime properties at the very best locations gradually replace all those at the problematic locations.

Tapasya Group, the pioneer in real estate, understands the crucial role of adjustment to this new dimension. Through innovative office design, which allows for both flexibility and collaborative spaces, Tapasya Group will meet the needs of tenants in the new reality of a post-pandemic world.

2. Credit crunch and its effect:

One of the major issues in the real estate market is stiffening of the credit supply. When the Federal Reserve started to raise interest rates in March 2022, the availability of credit was constrained more and more. This trend has been predominantly seen through traditional debt providers such as banks, commercial mortgage-backed securities (CMBS), and life insurance companies. The decline in credit supply has grave consequences, affecting the retail market, as well as building and construction activities. 

As the real estate market keeps on changing, Tapasya Group becomes the shining star in terms of finances and innovation. The market conditions during the credit crunch times were tough, but the debt-free status of Tapasya Group helped the company to withstand the crises and perform well in a very dynamic sector. By adopting a policy of sound financial management and focusing on making the right investment decisions, Tapasya Group has become a leader in the real estate sector, being ready to leverage new opportunities and trends that are likely to emerge.

3. Housing Affordability Crisis:

Home affordability issues still exist as people's earnings cannot keep up with the surging property prices. The current borrowing cost increase has only made this issue worse. However, renting has demonstrated some resilience due to growing supply, but the affordability gap still poses a major challenge for aspiring homeowners. 

Tapasya Group acknowledges the need to tackle the issue of housing affordability and this organization has the desire of developing the community with a sense of inclusivity. By merging creatively designed apartments, sustainable construction techniques, and various pricing strategies that are tailored to different earning classes, Tapasya Group plans to offer quality housing options.

4. Leaving Sustainability as a Strategic Priority:

The intensifying climate emergency has enhanced the thought about sustainability among the real estate sector. Investors and owners of property put more energy efficiency, climate resilience, and environmental considerations into their decisions. Due to regulatory orders and changing consumer needs, sustainability principles are increasingly being integrated into real estate development and operations.

Tapasya Group is a leading real estate company when it comes to sustainability which uses green building technologies and eco-friendly designs for its projects. Through the adoption of sustainability as its key value, Tapasya Company not only shrinks its ecological footprint, but also improves land value and long-term durability.

5. Use of Artificial Intelligence Utilization:

The advent of AI has opened the doors for a new era of transformation in the real estate industry. AI technologies, including property search algorithms, predictive analytics and asset management tools, provide another way of improving operational functions and decision making.

Tapasya Group acknowledges the fact that AI is capable of transforming everything. Through AI-driven intelligence and automation solutions, Tapasya Group plans to simplify processes, maximize resource management and offer superior outcomes to its stakeholders.

In short, the real estate industry is caught in a period of radical transformation due to technology, demographics shifts and society's changing trends. Adaptability and innovation stand as key factors for industry partners to win the complex games of this dynamic market. Being a prime player in the realty industry, Tapasya Group is well positioned to leverage on the current investment opportunities while remaining true to its commitment towards sustainability, innovation and excellence.

#real estate #tapasya #builders

[drahujaclinic1]

What are the 8 signs of cervical cancer that women need to observe?

Before knowing what the signs are, we have to know what the term cervical cancer means. Cervical Cancer starts as a growth of cells in the cervix, the lower part of your uterus that connects to your vagina. The majority of the cervical to your vagina. The majority of cervical cancers (70%) are squamous cell carcinomas. Cervical adenocarcinoma, on the other hand, is less common (around 25%) and is more difficult to diagnose as it starts higher in your cervix. Cervical cancer is the most common type of cancer. Most cervical cancer is caused by different HPV strains. HPV is a very common infection that is spread through sexual contact. The body’s immune system usually fights off the virus and can survive for years. This helps to drive the process that turns some cervical cells into cancerous cells. 

If you are worried about cervical cancer and want to consult an expert. Then book an appointment with Dr Ruchi Rai Ahuja, the best Gynecologist in Chandigarh, she has years of experience holder who provides a 90% customer satisfaction rate. Dr Ruchi Rai Ahuja can provide you with the best treatment with top modern types of equipment under the supervision of an expert team. Screening tests and vaccines can help reduce your risk of getting cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is usually first treated with surgery, but other treatments may include medicines that kill the cancer cells, chemotherapy, Targeted therapy medicines, radiation therapy, and other treatments.

Here are the 8 Signs of Cervical Cancer in Women’s 

A Cervical Cancer lesion does not usually cause symptoms and signs. Symptoms and signs usually appear with early-stage cervical cancer. Symptoms and signs of advanced cervical cancer are more severe due to the spread of the cancer to other tissues and organs. Signs and Symptoms are changes in your body that you can sense. Symptoms are changes in a measure such as blood pressure or lab tests. Symptoms and Signs can be used to describe a medical condition. A symptoms or symptom may also be due to a medical condition other than cancer. People should seek medical attention if they have new symptoms or signs that do not resolve. Some of the symptoms that need to be absorbed by the women are -

Increasing Vaginal Discharge.

Bleeding after Menopause.

Undefinable, Back and Pelvic Persistent Pain.

Pain during Intercourse and Sex.

Post-partum bleeding following sexual intercourse, Vaginal douching, or pelvic examination. 

More than usual Menstrual bleeding and also heavier than usual.

Between or following your period bloodstains or light spotting postpartum bleeding. 

Viginal discharge is a watery, blood-soaked discharge that can be heavy and has an unpleasant smell.

Unusual Pain start at any time in the below area of the stomach. 

If you experience any of these symptoms, immediately tell your doctor. It is important to speak to your doctor about these symptoms, even if they are seen as symptoms of other less severe conditions. The sooner you are diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer, the more likely it is that the cancer will be preventable or treatable. Tell your doctor if you are worried about any changes in your symptoms. Your doctor may try to diagnose you by performing an exam and ordering tests to determine the cause of your symptoms, which is known as a diagnosis. 

Conclusion

Now we know that this disease has symptoms that are not visible, you can get an idea according to your medical health whether you are infected by cervical cancer or not. If you are not sure and can feel such symptoms of cervical cancer as we mentioned before, tell your medical health care professional ASAP. This is a serious medical term, don't take it lightly.

#chandigarh #mohali #panchkula #drahujaclinic #femalehealth #drruchiahuja #cervicalcancertreatment #cervicalcancersurvivor #expertadvice #cervicalcancer #cervicalcancerresearch #cervicalcancersymptoms #cervicalcancersupport #cervicalcancervaçcination #cancerspecialist

[medsarcadeusa1]

Iverheal treatment that successfully helps fight infections

The antiparasitic drug iverheal is used to treat a variety of parasitic conditions, including parasitic worms, scabies mites, and head lice. It is offered for sale under the brand names Sklice, Coolant, and Stromectol. Adult rosacea can be effectively treated with iverheal. Iverheal has recently gained an increasing amount of attention due to a current study into its potential use in the as-yet-undefined field of treating covid-19 sufferers.

Usually, only one dose of Iverheal is given, and the dosage is determined by frame weight. Iverheal is frequently used orally, as a tablet, without food, at a dosage of 0.15 to 0.25 mg/kg.

Visit us:     https://medsarcade.com/

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[tiapandayblogs]

What does Masculinity look like in a Modern World?

November 19 holds a special significance as it is marked as International Men’s Day. The day celebrates the presence of men around the world and appreciates their efforts that impact each of our lives. The entire month of November is also called ‘Movember’ where we focus on men’s health, improving gender relations and empowering men to overcome their problems. It is essential that a balance between genders be maintained and adhering to a man’s well being should not take a backseat amongst the quest of other prevalent issues.

Masculinity has various notions attached to it on a family and community level. From time immemorial, for all the right reasons, we attach certain stereotypes to gender with the objective of smooth and organized functioning of a system. While it helps in the working of the society and shaping one's personality in a certain way, it also has its own limitations when it makes a person live inside the box of stereotypes. Men who do not follow the norms set by society are often ridiculed. For instance; a stay at home husband will be subtly disrespected at all places as he is not fulfilling the role of the earning member to meet the financial needs of his family.

Generations have evolved and now we are certainly at the peak of shifting gender roles. The needs of a modern female and male have changed. And it appears that masculinity is in a period of flux, with the definition of what a man is and how he is to behave being undefined. What is more certainly true is that masculinity as it was played out in the last few hundred years is no longer existing. Men are no longer appreciated for the acts that their ancestors were praised for. When put in effectful words, as per the modern take, harmful stereotypes exist about what it means to be masculine, focusing on power dynamics, domination of other men, subjugation of women, violence and aggression. This makes the men and the women fall into trouble in identifying with themselves.

International Men’s Day focuses on speaking up about discrimination faced by men in multiple spheres, their struggles and societal conditioning that they are subjected to. It is imperative to take care of men’s health and social, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

Manhood and masculinity is marked by socio-cultural ideologies that define how a man should be. In a societal or a family set up, it then becomes a goal that is to be achieved. The stereotype is that one loses their masculinity if they fail to maintain the existing beliefs consistently. While a woman is praised to come forward and stand against female oppression, the same act by a man is condemned. The core features of a traditional man are aggression, toughness, unemotionality and ruthlessness.

We no longer outrightly advocate for these traits. But we have subtly normalized seeing things from those lenses when men are in the picture. Believe it or not, traditional ideas of masculinity are secretly endorsed. It is considered natural and desirable that a man is aggressive; muscular and unexpressive. It is deep embedded in each one of us that showing empathy and understanding, being compassionate and vulnerable is uncharacteristic of men. This lays a lot of weight on men when they want to come out and free themselves from these ideas.

The Changing Perspective:

We have all witnessed the shift in the interest of the role of men and boys. It partly comes from empowerment of women and the change of role of the female counterparts. Thus, The expectations posed on men have now shifted on a macro level. We actively reject aggression and violence, embrace different identities and appreciate emotional and participative contribution towards one’s family. Although it poses a challenge for men to fight against a few of their own instinctual behaviors, it is time for them to champion the changed ideas of masculinity. The new generation of men is working on keeping the best elements of manhood and setting aside the negative aspects.

As per a research study conducted by Mantorshift Institute in different countries, it was laid down that; from a constructive viewpoint of modern manhood, the few defining characteristics can be empathetic, inclusive, self aware and emotionally intelligent. The needs of a continuously evolving modern world makes it difficult for men to survive with their past instinctual drives. Thus, for a healthy state of being, we can inculcate the changes to bring about that shift. It includes simple acts like initiating conversation with people close to you regarding your goals, roles in a family and other things in general that bothers you while you continually develop your own understanding of masculinity.

While men are found likely to be rigid with their opinions, it is needed that they indulge in gender inclusive conversations about different worldviews. While men and women in a family are both engaging in climbing the career ladders, it becomes essential for them to maintain a balance among their roles in a family. It is an appreciated move when a man focuses on building a healthy community, creating meaningful relationships, works for sustaining their mental health and contributes in raising happier children.

In a modern world, men and women cannot be categorized in isolation from their counterparts. The good angle to the change is that we are gradually accepting that there are many ways to be a man or a woman. And we are attempting to withdraw the responsibility of adhering to any stereotype from a man’s shoulders.

Source - https://childhelpfoundation.in/cii-blog/posts/What-does-Masculinity-look-like-in-a-Modern-World

#health

[angelsndragons]

fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group. 

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.

#cr #critical role #cr meta #fjorclay #wildbros #fjord #caduceus clay #prim did theirs so i'm doing mine #in b4 the wrap-up #just barely #and ran out of steam at the end #i'll expand on that later #gotta finish my vm v m9 meta #and the cockroach party analysis

[littlemisspascal]

Death and an Angel part 16

Death!Din x Cupid F!Reader

Summary:  Gideon gestures at you with the Lightsaber, its flickering blade reflecting the suspicious gleam in his dark eyes. “No, something’s…different. You are not the same weak, pitiful Cupid I faced before. You have changed.”

Lines of blackness creep up your arms just beneath the surface of your skin, burning hotly with the desire to be released. Gideon isn’t wrong. You have changed.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,321

Warnings: angst, language, overuse of italics, VIOLENCE (blood, injuries, gory details), fighting sequence (good lord I am bad at writing these, but I tried my best), character death

Author Note: To each and every reader out there, I love you. Your support is incredible and I appreciate every lovely comment you send me. My current work project is coming to an end which means I’ll have more free time to write and finish the final chapters of this fic. Thank you so much for your patience with me and I hope you enjoy this new segment 💖💖💖

Links to Part 1 and Part 15 and Part 17

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

The thing about Cupids is, they’re trained to succeed no matter the odds stacked against them. Failure is severely punished as a means of conditioning Cupids to push themselves past the brink of exhaustion and agonizing pain in order to achieve the desired outcome. When a Cupid has an established goal in mind, they will choose death before running away or surrendering. 

Din’s energy pulses through your bloodstream, reminding you with each electrifying beat that he has become a visceral part of you, that you will never face an enemy alone again. And most importantly, you will never be taken from Din again.

You stare unflinchingly at Gideon as he bares his teeth at you, incensed by your unanticipated resurrection. If he didn’t look like he’d recently been run over by a dozen speeder bikes, maybe then he’d be intimidating. His armor is cracked and dented along the torso and shoulders, and he favors his right leg, leaning most of his weight on it though he tries to be subtle.

Something clearly happened in the interim between your death and revival. What once was Gideon’s office space now resembles a bombsite; the furniture and artifacts demolished, books gutted and torn apart. You don’t have to be a genius to know the wreckage is connected to the damaged Lightsaber and Din’s condition.

Behind you, your soulmate hovers in eerie silence without any indication he’s aware of the increasing tension slowly sucking the oxygen from the room. You tell yourself he’ll be fine. That the torment afflicting him and turning your soulmate mark frigid cold can wait to be remedied until after you’ve dealt with Gideon. 

It has to. 

“I killed you,” the Seraph says, voice barbed with malice. His gaze roams over your torso and zeroes in on the exact spot where he’d driven the Lightsaber through your flesh. “You were dead on the floor.”

“I was,” you say, blunt and to the point. “Death brought me back.”

Gideon gestures at you with the Lightsaber, its flickering blade reflecting the suspicious gleam in his dark eyes. “No, something’s…different. You are not the same weak, pitiful Cupid I faced before. You have changed.”

Lines of blackness creep up your arms just beneath the surface of your skin, burning hotly with the desire to be released. Gideon isn’t wrong. You have changed.

Dying and the subsequent meeting with Death had been a metamorphosis you never knew you needed to endure in order to break free. You have been transformed into the greatest version of yourself, unlimited and undefined by the previous restrictions forced upon you. For the first time since your mortal life ended, there is no cage confining you. You are not anyone’s pawn to manipulate for their own personal enjoyment. 

Adjusting your body into a fighting stance, fists raised and knees slightly bent, you ready yourself to release the full strength of your newly enhanced powers one punch at a time. 

Your goal is simple: win.

Gideon scoffs when he realizes you intend to challenge him without your bow, but it sounds forced and does not hide the way his fingers tighten nervously around the hilt of his weapon.

You struggle to keep your expression neutral instead of smirking at him. This fight won’t take long at all.

“I’ve changed because I’m not afraid anymore. There’s no reason to be. You’re just a sad excuse of a Seraph desperate for attention who chose the wrong soulmates to piss off,” you answer at last. “And when I rip your organs from your body, the last thought in your sick, corrupted brain will be how much you regret killing me.”

The Seraph loses the last inch of control over his temper, springing forward to attack with the Lightsaber raised high. His scowling expression has contorted past anger into one of unbridled fury, bordering on deranged savagery, and there is a split second you think he’s so mad he will self-combust before the fight even begins.

You dodge to the side when he swings at you, twisting on the balls of your feet and angling your body just right, and then slam a punch against his temple. 

You have thrown a punch before. You know to tuck your thumb over your other fingers and keep your wrist straight when you follow through with the hit, to expect and ignore the sharp bite of pain that shoots down your nerves afterwards. 

Except this time there is no pain to ignore. 

As your hand connects with the side of Gideon’s head, it is enveloped in shadow, simultaneously protecting you and delivering a second attack by tearing into the Seraph’s skin, bloodthirsty talons a mere hair-length away from gouging out his eye. They settle for ripping off his ear instead, scarlet bursting from the wound.

He stumbles sideways, barely managing to maintain upright, and grates out a curse so agonized in sound you almost wince reflexively. When he turns to face you again, his stance is unstable, eyes glossed over, and there is a significant chunk of the side of his face missing, bleeding profusely. Nothing about him in this moment resembles the confident and practiced fighter you’d combatted previously. 

Maker, if this is a display of what releasing a fragment of Din’s powers can do, then no wonder his self-control matters so highly to him. He could easily destroy hundreds—no, thousands of lives with just a twitch of his finger. Your stomach flips as you involuntarily imagine the horrific scenario of Gideon becoming Death. He’d bathe the universe in blood until even the stars glowed red, and force those he didn’t slaughter to feed his ego by bowing at his feet, showering him with the esteemed praises he is convinced he deserves.

When the Moff rushes at you again, this time as clumsy as a newborn fathier, you again duck the wild slash of his weapon, then disarm him by grabbing hold of his hand, just above the wrist, and squeezing until his armor cracks and you hear the sick crunch of bone breaking. The Lightsaber falls to the floor and bounces a few times with resounding clangs, its blade disappearing when the activation button is triggered by the impact, before finally settling still a few feet away, appearing deceivingly innocent.

You don’t allow him a moment to process the loss, pulling and twisting his arm further back until there’s the telltale pop of his shoulder dislocating. Your powers wrap around his bicep in a vice-like grip, preventing him from teleporting out of the hold without bringing you with him. He drops to his knees, mouth open in a silent scream. Satisfied, you drop his arm and take a step back, silently observing him in the dim light. 

A beaten dictator dying amongst the ruins of his vile empire.

“You…” Gideon rasps, struggling to breathe through the pain. “You c-can’t…”

Lips curling into a scowl, you grab onto the edges of his armor near the base of neck, yanking him forward to hiss in his face. “I can do anything I damn well please.”

He huffs a choked laugh, his breath flooding your nostrils, and you want to throttle him. But before you can wind back a fist you’re startled by him sprouting an unexpected crooked smile.

“You’re wrong,” the Seraph wheezes, somehow managing to sound kriffing euphoric in spite of his numerous injuries, and stares directly into your eyes through the cloudy haziness of pain. “You can’t bring him back.”

You lose the ability to think beyond the panic blaring inside your head. Clearly he’s referring to Din. Din, who’s currently a kriffing floating and obscure entity totally unresponsive to the present drama. What does Gideon mean, you can’t bring him back? There is no place Din could go that you would not follow after him. You would even willingly leap into damnation if he ever wound up there. A life without Din at your side would be a far worse nightmare to live through than anything you witnessed in the realm of the damned.

But what if where Din has gone is not someplace physical? What if it’s some unseen, unreachable place within his mind? What if...what if you truly can’t follow after him this time?

Gideon, reading the fear that flickers across your expression, speaks with purposeful slowness, each word meant to slice you apart, “Death’s natural form is raw, infinite power. Power which requires a guiding hand to execute its divine purpose, or else souls will continue to linger in this realm. There is a lesson to be learned here, don’t you see, Cupid 1-1-7? Who you loved—your precious soulmate, the universe’s favorite puppet—he’s not here anymore. I broke him.”

He leans forward against your hold. A bead of blood drips from his wounds onto your hand only to be immediately wiped away by the shadows crawling along your arms, as if they didn’t want any part of you tainted by his toxicness. “The time has come for a new Death to rise. One without the weakness of mortal emotions or a soulmate bond. A destiny only I can fulfill.”

And there it is again. Proof of the Seraph’s monumental egotism and loss of sanity. 

Unwittingly, your lower lip starts to quiver, but your voice is detached from your panic and fears, full of vehemence, determined to finish this once and for all. “Fuck your destiny.”

The hurt and anger boiling in your stomach, the unconditional love for Din locked in your heart, the power Din’s soul fused with your own—all of it discharges out of your hands, tearing through the bones and muscles of your arms like lightning straight from your core, and you lose all feeling in your fingers. Shadows attack and latch onto Gideon’s body, slithering up his nose, into his screaming mouth, and they howl victoriously when they taste his blood, dissolving him from the inside out.

But through all the violence and savagery, you feel no pain. Of course not, you think, when there is nothing left of Gideon but the remnants of his armor and the cave has lapsed into still silence. You glance at your hands, noticing they have returned to their fleshy appearance. The numbing sensation is gradually fading, making your fingertips prickle. Din would never let any part of himself ever hurt me.

Sucking in a ragged breath, you search amongst the armor pieces until you find a key attached to what you think was once a belt. You approach the baby with a shaky smile, not once letting your gaze stray towards Din’s direction, and crouch down to slot the key into the collar. Brown eyes watch you carefully the whole time, wrinkled forehead pinched with concern, but he gurgles with joy when you throw the collar across the room, never to be seen again. 

“You’re free, bud,” you say. Then gasp when your chest constricts unexpectedly, as if a hook has pierced your sternum, urgently tugging. 

The kid’s ears twitch and he turns to coo at something behind him. You follow his gaze, squinting when you glimpse an outline of something squirming. A quiet whimper cuts through the silence, strangely familiar to you. 

Oh kriff.

You leave the kid behind, half-stumbling half-crawling over the destroyed furniture and scattered books, and drop to your knees in front of Xi’an’s prone body. She’s pinned in place by a jagged piece of metal driven straight through her stomach into the ground beneath. Too weak to fight, the twi’lek emits a low hiss when you lightly prod at the wound, wet blood staining your skin.

She’s dying. 

The realization hits you like a punch to the gut. It’s sudden and blunt and so absolutely certain it knocks you off balance. Literally. You fall backwards onto your rear, rubbing at your chest trying to stop the ache.

Xi’an’s head lolls to the side, looking at you through hazy vision. “You going...to do it...right this time?”

You blink, eyebrows arching. “What?”

“You know,” she hacks a cough, blood dribbling at the edges of her lips. “Reap my soul.”

Reap her—? 

Oh kriff. She thinks you’re Death. 

“Xi’an, I’m…” you trail off, unsure how to finish. 

You’re not Death. There is only one Death and that will always be Din, despite Gideon’s claims to the contrary. But you do not feel like a Cupid anymore either, not after embracing these new powers, not after you just broke a sacred rule by wiping Gideon from existence.

So if you are not Death and you are not a Cupid, what does that make you? A reaper? Maybe, you reluctantly concede, but something about that designation doesn’t settle right with you. 

“Just do it.” Xi’an’s quiet murmur pulls you out of your thoughts, eyelids fluttering as she fights to keep them open. “Make it fast.”

Maker help you. “Okay,” you say, bobbing your head with false confidence. “Okay, I’ll be quick.”

She shuts her eyes, satisfied with your answer. You exhale a long breath of air, draining some of the tension in your shoulders, and mimic the same motions you recall seeing Din enact before he reaped a soul. 

Your hand hovers over her middle for a solid thirty seconds without anything happening. You chew on your lip, wondering if you’d have an easier time teleporting to find a reaper to help you. Then your powers hum, reacting to the soul deep inside of Xi’an. Closing your eyes, a mental image begins to form in your mind as your powers explore. Her soul is bright, glowing like a small sun, and incredibly twitchy. Without really thinking about what you’re doing, your powers scoop it up with the same gentleness as you handle the baby. 

The soul is halfway up Xi’an’s throat when you notice she’s stopped breathing. You force yourself not to pause, to not think about the chilling fact you’re sitting next to a corpse, and continue guiding the lifeforce out of her mouth. You hold it in your hands, amazed by how it shines against the dark surroundings. For all Xi’an’s flaws and poor decisions, you’d be lying if you said her soul wasn’t stunning to look at.

A gust of wind drifts over you, toying with your hair and effortlessly lifting the twi’lek’s soul out of your palms. You watch as the glowing lifeforce floats up towards the ceiling and fades from existence, delivered into a new realm by the unseen forces of the universe. So long Xi’an. 

Wiping your hands on your pants, you stand up and mentally prepare yourself to face Din, knowing you can’t avoid the inevitable any longer. There has to be a way to get him back, to connect with his soul hidden beneath the dark energy. Unless...Gideon had been telling the truth and there really is nothing left of Din beyond the piece of him you possess. Which would explain why the mark has turned cold and the bond is distressingly silent. And would ultimately mean that what is behind you is just a power source, unfeeling and incapable of loving you. 

No, you shake your head emphatically to clear those thoughts, that is just what he wants me to believe. Even dead, the kriffing Seraph continues to be a master at manipulation. 

“You’re free,” you whisper to yourself. “You and the kid are free.”

You turn around then, expecting to see the kid where you left him, only for your heart to shudder to a halt when you instead see him standing in front of Din. His little arms are raised up and trembling, and his eyes are squeezed shut with intense concentration. He’s completely oblivious to the shadowy wisps extending towards him from the mist surrounding Din’s silhouette, resembling tentacles looking for a way to snatch him.

“Stop!” you scream, rushing towards them as fast as your clumsy legs can run. “Leave him alone!”

You are not sure who exactly you are shouting at, but it doesn’t matter. Neither one is listening. You focus on the baby, thinking if you can grab him he will be safe in your arms, and reach out as far as you can, so close, nearly there—

Bang.

Your body slams against something solid and the impact sends you flying backwards, reminiscent of the shock wave on Sorgan. When you finally stop rolling across the floor, you lay on your back, covered in dirt and scratches, giving your stunned lungs a moment to remember how to breathe while also wondering what the kriff just happened. You hit something, clearly, but why didn’t you see it? 

You press a hand to your head as you slowly sit up, hoping to put a stop to your brain thrashing against your skull. Looking over your shoulder, you see there’s a blue, shimmering wall encircling Din and the baby. And the shadows surrounding Din are angrily bashing against it, attempting to destroy the barrier.

Kriff, kriff, kriff.

Hauling yourself off the ground, you approach the pair, cautiously stopping a foot away from the wall to prevent being tossed aside for a second time. Slowly and ready to retreat if necessary, you raise your hand and let it hover over the blue shield which stretches from the dirt floor to the rocky ceiling, flickering in and out of view. It vibrates a note at your nearness, almost chirpy in sound compared to the sinister hum of Gideon’s weapon. 

You find yourself unexpectedly soothed by it. Something about the mysterious essence is oddly calming. Easing you into a relaxed enough state you feel it’s safe to fully press your hand against it, and then surprises you by how it yields and morphs to the shape of your fingers like foam. And just like foam it doesn’t break or fracture, not even when you push against it. 

The child’s pose has not changed when you glance down at him. Other than the slight trembling of his arms, he’s unnaturally still, as if every cell in his tiny body is dedicated to...whatever it is he’s doing. 

“Hey, bud, look at me please,” you call out, hoping to see his ears twitch or any other sign indicating he knows you’re there. “You’re scaring me, kid.”

An answer comes in the form of something striking the wall where your palm is resting. You jolt, biting back a yelp, then do a double take when it registers there’s a hand on the other side of the barrier, fingers spread wide to match each of yours. 

You freeze, heart kicking into overdrive as you watch the swirling mass of shadows begin to shrink and knit together into the familiar skeletal outline of a human body. Tan skin grows next, spreading from the hand on the wall to the dip of the elbow, up along the broad curve of the shoulder and beyond. There are so many features developing at once—plush lips, toned muscles, dark curls you’ve dearly missed running your hands through—it’s impossible for your brain to catalogue them all, though Maker knows you try. 

Clothes materialize, including a wool coat you last saw at the train station on Umbriel, when Din first revealed his soulmate marking to you. The familiar sight has your chest filling to the brim with affection, tears gathering in your eyes

At your feet, the baby’s hands lower to his sides before he falls onto his rear, huffing and puffing with exertion. The barrier dissolves, allowing callused fingers to intertwine with yours. And your soulmate marking it’s—it’s unbelievably warm, like you’re holding your hand over an open flame. 

Brown eyes flutter open, blinking groggily as if just awakening from a long sleep. You watch, silent and utterly enraptured, as they brighten with awareness and lock onto yours, crinkling at the corners as a dimpled smile tugs at lips you want to kiss so bad it hurts.

“Angel.”

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#pedro pascal character fanfiction #death and an angel #my writing #my fic #Din Djarin #Mandalorian #mandalorian x reader #din x you #din x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin soulmate #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian fanfic #soulmate au

[separatist-apologist]

Exile

We always walked a very thin line

Chapter 8: Blame Everyone But Me For This Mess

Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | AO3

Beta @alibi272

Rhysand left Feyre in his townhouse, safely tucked away and dreaming peacefully. She was unaware he could hear her every thought, screamed at him due to the lack of mental shields she possessed. He wanted to fix that. Hybern was preparing an army, intending to wipe Jurian from the map. Cassian and Azriel were in Windhaven readying the Illyian warriors and both Day and Summer were set to send their High Lord and General to meet with both Jurian and Rhysand in the coming month. Their only advantage was the King of Hybern’s lack of awareness of the uniting Courts. There were rumors Beron was considering joining the rebellion, leaving just Winter, Dawn, and Spring to ally with Hybern. Spring had brutal warbands and Winter’s soldiers could fight under any conditions but if Rhysand had to pick a side, he would have picked his own.

That wasn’t what troubled him. Rhys knocked on Amren’s apartment door. Mor pulled it open, her brown eyes surveying her cousin. “It’s a little late for house calls,” Amren replied from just inside, sitting casually on a black leather sofa. Mor tossed a strand of blonde hair over her shoulder and closed the door behind Rhys.

“Well?” She asked.

That was a loaded question. Rhys decided to start with what was bothering him. “Tanwen and Lucien Vanserra went to one of the human villages yesterday.”

Both Mor and Amren rolled their eyes. “And?” Mor asked, plopping down besides Amren.

“Since when are we keeping up with the Vanserra’s?” Amren added.

“Typically? Never. However they tortured an overseer and hung his body in the middle of the town square as a warning.”

“Get to the point, Rhysand,” Amren urged, bored.

“Tomas something or other. A nobody that ought to have garnered zero attention from Autumn. Tomas is a name I’ve heard in Feyre’s mind, a male that both sisters believe is the reason the catchers dragged them into Prythian.”

“Cauldron, Rhys, who cares?” Amren asked.

“I care. I’ve been trying to negotiate with Eris Vanserra to release the last Archeron to me and he’s been cagey about her whereabouts. I assumed that meant she must be dead but now I’ve got rogue Vanserras going to her village and slaughtering the male responsible for dragging her to Prythian.”

Mor sighed. “Which one, then?”

Rhys shrugged his shoulders helplessly as she tossed the book onto Amren’s glass coffee tables. “Tanwen or Lucien, if I had to guess. Who knows if they’re even aware of it? I didn’t believe we could have human mates but…apparently we can.”

He knew they could. The thread between him and Feyre was real. He’d felt the snap but even before the kiss and the pulse, he’d felt drawn to her the moment she’d been dragged out onto that stage. His brother, Cassian, too, had asked him to get Nesta and Rhys would not have been surprised if Cassian didn’t come flying down terrified and sick trying to untangle what was happening in his own body. As far as Rhys could tell, Feyre did not feel it.

Now Rhys had an entirely new problem. If any one of the Vanserras were mates with the last Archeron, he’d never see her again. Feyre was plotting to leave to get Elain back, determined to walk across Prythian to do it. Rhys was reasonably confident he could stop her…so long as she told him when she planned to go. Feyre’s plans were vague and undefined but he knew she’d eventually tire of him trying to go about things diplomatically and if she vanished into Autumn, he’d lose her, maybe forever.

Amren picked up the book. “Fool,” she hissed, flipping the dark, leather bound book to the page he had marked. “Stupid fool.”

“It could be done,” he replied, his mind racing. “We used to, when we realized we had a human mate.”

“We used to be more elemental, too,” Amren hissed, her dark eyes looking over the spell Rhys had tracked down. “Who knows what kind of horror you might unleash. Magic requires balance.”

“I’ll give her some of mine,” Rhys replied quickly. “My magic for her immortal existence.”

“Why not just bind your life to hers?” Amren replied, flipping quickly through the book. Rhys scowled.

“Because I would lose my own magic in the process. Feyre as High Fae…”

“And her sisters?” Mor asked, arching a brow. “Do you plan to make Nesta and Elain High Fae, too?”

Amren turned to look at him. “Cassian can, if he wants. And whatever Vanserra Elain is trapped with. I will only turn Feyre.”

Amren shook her head but it was Mor who spoke. “Have you talked to Feyre about it?”

Rhys grimaced. “No. Not yet…it’s barely been a month. I want her to continue her training first…to become used to being in this place.”

Amren rubbed her eyes. “Focus on getting the sister back before you do anything rash. A human hasn’t been made Fae in centuries or more. You are just as likely to kill her as you are to turn her.”

“I can’t…am I supposed to let her die?” Rhys asked Amren desperately. He’d hoped for more optimism, for more encouragement. Amren looked at him, a Goddess made flesh.

“You’ll do well to make this her decision. She needs to be strong.”

“She needs friends,” Mor added gently, standing. “I’ll come back with you. Take her to the city, let her meet people.”

“And if she says no, that’s the end of it,” Amren added. “Forcing her would be dark magic indeed.”

Rhysand nodded, even as his gut churned. He needed to bring Elain to Velaris, to reunite the sisters. He was convinced if Feyre knew Elain was safe, she’d feel more comfortable…she’d relax and maybe start to consider his city her home. Rhys left Amren though he took back his book. Knowing he could remake her into a Fae gave him a little peace. He knew Amren would want him to tell her the truth about the mating bond before he turned her, but Rhys didn’t want to influence her or somehow manipulate her into saying yes. He wanted it to be her decision irrespective of what they meant to each other. As it stood, he knew humans had no idea what a mating bond was or what it meant to the High Fae.

He wondered if the Vanserras had guessed and how Beron was taking the information that one of his sons had a human mate. Which Vanserra would he prefer in his city? Tanwen, he decided. Lucien was too cunning, Eris too cruel. Tanwen was right in the middle, but tended to be less elegant than his elder and younger brothers. Ideally, though, Elain would reject all the Vanserras on principal alone. He didn’t know the female, but surely she wasn’t enjoying herself in Berons’ court.

An idea began to form in Rhysand’s mind. He’d been going through Eris but perhaps it was time to talk with the High Lord himself. If he could convince Beron to let him come to his Court, to discuss the merits of freeing the humans, perhaps he could steal Elain on his way out. Unless Tanwen was stupid as shit and had told Elain, he doubted there was much holding here there. And even then…what human wanted a Faerie as a mate?

That should have made him feel better.

As Rhysand walked back to Feyre, he wondered what about him could possibly be appealing to her. Feyre was the stars but Rhys…

Rhys was night eternal.

He found Feyre curled up by a window, book in hand. Her reading was improving and Rhys wanted her to start reading policy and philosophy instead of the simple adventures she seemed so fond of. She was fighting him on his reading choices and for good reason—they were boring and they both knew it. He couldn’t tell Feyre she was his mate and, as consequence, he wanted her help ruling. He was too aware her education was lacking. Rhys frowned, suddenly frustrated.

“Good book?” He asked with none of his usual teasing. He was all mocking. Feyre dragged her icy blue eyes upwards, body tensing.

“It’s alright,” she replied.

“And the book of history I gave you?” He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t care about Faerie history,” Feyre replied smoothly. “Why can’t I have a book on human history?”

Rhys gritted his teeth. “Do I look like I have books on the non-existent history of humans?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t feel like fighting tonight, Rhys.”

“What do you feel like?” He asked, some of his irritation sliding into curiosity. He had to be careful around her. Feyre was cunning and crafty. He knew she was looking for an escape, believing she could simply stroll into Autumn and collect her sister, utterly unaware of the dangers that lurked between his territory and Berons.

Feyre’s eyes turned towards the window, toward the music and twinkling lights of Velaris just below. He didn’t have to be in her mind to know what she wanted. He almost told her no, almost turned his back to her and left her at the window but what could it possibly hurt, he reasoned? She couldn’t escape while he stood directly next to her and he wanted her to love Velaris.

He wanted her to love him. He held out his hand.

“Come on,” he murmured, his heart racing when she smiled. She placed her hand in his automatically, tossing her long braid over one shoulder. She’d filled out since she arrived, no longer flesh pulled tight over bone. There was color to her freckled cheeks, a roundness to her slim body he found wholly appealing.

Fingers laced, Rhys led Feyre out into the city for the first time since she’d arrived. The weather was pleasant, bordering on chilly though the small human didn’t seem to mind. Face tilted towards hanging string lights, Feyre looked otherworldly, her beauty causing Rhys’s body to tighten painfully. He wanted her so badly it made his teeth ache.

She never dropped his hand, letting him lead her from street to street. He caught how she smiled when both males and females approached, interested in offering themselves up for his pleasure though she kept her pretty little mouth shut. In fact, Feyre said nothing at all until she saw easels set up along the bridge overlooking the Sidra. She pulled her hand from his, inching closer with an unreadable expression.

He couldn’t help himself. Rhys pushed into her mind, curious at her reaction. He’d never seen her show emotion outside of her sisters and to some extent, had never considered she had any interests outside of surviving.

Feyre’s memory was awash in paint. The missing middle sister, Elain, had gifted her some years earlier and in Feyre’s memory, Rhys watched her paint that tiny, dilapidated cabin until the paint dried up and none was left.

“Come with me,” he murmured, taking her by the elbow to the nearby store. Feyre froze in the doorway, eyes huge and glassy.

“Rhys,” she whispered. He couldn’t help himself. He wanted to give her everything, the world and all its inhabitants. This was easier, almost embarrassingly so.

“Feyre is an artist,” Rhys told the shop owner. “Give her what she likes.”

Feyre turned to him, stunned. “What? No, you don’t—”

“Wrong,” he interrupted. “But if you want to pay me back…maybe read the book of history for me.”

Feyre exhaled sweetly, reaching for his hand. Heart pounding in his throat, he watched her bring the palm of his hand to her lips. She pressed a kiss to his skin.

“Thank you.”

**

“Lucien,” Ayla smiled, offering him her hand. Ayla had curled her lovely, butter yellow hair and tied it off her face with a pretty pink ribbon. Her green eyes were bright as he swept her into a dance. What did he look like to her, he wondered? He’d been dragged to this ball by the point of his ear. His mother was determined to make this match and in truth, Lucien didn’t entirely hate it. Ayla was intelligent, she was beautiful and she was interested in him. He couldn’t deny they were attractive together and he imagined any children they had would be, too.

He caught Conall glowering from across the room, two glasses of wine in his hands. He smirked, always enjoying getting something one of his brothers wanted.

“I never see you around anymore,” she told him, her eyes drifting around the softly lit room. At the far end of the marble columned room, Beron sat atop a golden dais, his mother perched on the arm. His father held her by the waist loosely, brown eyes watching his sons and courtiers dance, talk, and otherwise revel. His parents had led the first waltz beautifully, just as they always did though Lucien couldn’t help but notice how his mother kept a healthy amount of space between his father’s body and her own. Lucien did no such thing with Ayla. She was practically rubbing against him.

“You must not be looking,” he purred, tightening his hold on her waist. She certainly was beautiful, absurdly so. Of course she’d end up with one of the High Lord’s sons. The problem, of course, was that Lucien had no desire to be married. Eris ought to claim her, or any of his elder brothers. Why did he have to go first? He wasn’t done dallying and otherwise enjoying himself and he didn’t want to be his father with a cadre of mistresses on the side and a wife at home.

Ayla was young, to boot. Barely thirty compared to Lucien’s three hundred years of life. Was she done having fun? Lucien doubted it mattered. Her parents would have the final say in her life, passing her on to a husband who would control her comings and goings. It was why Eris didn’t want her, either.

“Trust me, my Lord. I am always looking.”

Lucien smiled, about to offer her a response when Tanwen caught his eye. It was impossible not to notice his elder brother given the male always wore those absurd, heavy axes. Tanwen rebuked all attempts at marriage and any pretense of civility. Ever since his little incident with the married female, Sierra, Tanwen had become even more ridiculous. Beron was going to intervene if Tanwen didn’t mind himself.

It wasn’t so much Tanwen, in his brown tunic and black pants, but the female beside him. Elain Archeron, dressed in her usual simple velvet, was gazing up at his brother with trusting eyes, one hand holding the crook of his elbow. Those two had been spending a lot of time together and when Lucien asked, Elain refused to say why. Tanwen glanced down at Elain, murmured something and the female smiled. A growl nearly erupted from Lucien’s throat as he watched, forgetting that he was currently spinning a different female around a ballroom.

Tanwen glanced over at him, his serious face curling into a smile. He dropped the arm Elain held in favor of placing his hand on the small of her back, brushed a piece of hair from her shoulder, and whispered something in her ear. Elain giggled just as the song ended.

Ayla halted and Lucien let her go, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. “My Lady. Perhaps you’ll do me the favor of letting me dance with you again.”

She smiled, her cheeks staining pink. Lucien might have been pleased but he was practically seeing red, furious with Tanwen. “Of course, Lord Lucien.”

Lucien spun and caught Elain’s eye for the first time. Her expression was unreadable and he felt small beneath the weight of her gaze. Tanwen smiled again, showing Lucien his teeth, before leading the human from the room. Bastard, he thought furiously. Lucien couldn’t just leave. He’d made his mother a promise and he was loath to disappoint his mother.

The night was Lucien’s personal hell. His mind was a mess, obsessively focused on Tanwen and Elain. What the fuck were they up to?

Why do you care what the human is doing? He couldn’t stop asking himself why he was so hyper fixated on Elain. Was it the fact that he’d yet to bed her that bothered him, or was it something else? It had to be his desire to fuck her, to be the first. There was no other reason to care about her comings and goings outside of that. He’d had enough humans to know what it was like to be inside one and yet had he ever thought of them outside of his bedroom?

No.

Lucien could hardly recall his conversations, the females he danced with. When it grew late enough he could make his excuses without disappointing anyone, Lucien left Ayla to Conall and vanished back to his bedroom. He was too relieved to find Elain in his bed, the night table lamp turned on and a book pressed against her chest. She’d fallen asleep reading. He stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in her sweet face, peaceful in sleep. Her long, dark blonde hair tumbled around her face and shoulders.

Was he a bastard if he woke her simply to fuck her? No, he decided, quietly closing the door. He could prove to himself she meant nothing, that his obsession extended no further than just being the first. Tanwen could have her next, if he wanted.

Lucien shed himself of his clothes, his cock half-hard as he looked at her sprawled on his bed. Careful not to immediately wake her, Lucien picked up the book and set it on the nightstand before peeling the blankets off her legs, spreading them, and settling between her thighs.

He’d never tire of her sweet, soft smell he thought with delight before licking up the center of her. Her legs twitched at the sensation. He licked again, his thumb brushing against her entrance as he pushed the fabric of her underwear to the side. Lucien licked again, slower, letting the broad side of his tongue drag. She gasped over head, her hand flying to his hair.

“Lucien,” she whispered, his name choking into a moan. Good girl, he thought, sliding in his thumb. Tight, his mind screamed. She was tight against him. He concentrated his tongue on her clit as his mind began to work out how to best stretch her for his cock. He wanted her to enjoy herself and hurting her in service of his own pleasure was counter effective towards that goal.

Lucien replaced his thumb with his forefinger, sliding slowly as his eyes rolled back into his head. His cock burned, desperate to be his hand. Soon, he swore, sliding in a second. She was panting above him, her hips forcing him to fuck her at a speed that was driving him half-insane. One more, he promised, managing to work in a third as she squeezed tightly around him. He’d have to go slow, at first. He could do that.

“Lucien, don’t stop,” she begged, the smell of her arousal thick as more slick opened her up. Her back began to arch, her thighs quivering and Lucien dragged her over that precipice, delighting when she shrieked as she came.

He removed himself quickly, positioning the crown of his cock against her pussy and sliding in an inch before she came back down. Elain gasped again, the sound shooting straight to his belly.

“Relax,” he murmured, sliding another inch. Wet, his brain screamed. So wet. The walls of her cunt were still roiling from her release, sucking him further in. His muscles shook from restraint. He needed more, needed to be fully inside. Her eyes watched him, dark and a little afraid as he continued to push forward, inch by inch with a slowness that threatened to destroy him.

She inhaled sharply with that last push as he met resistance, proof she hadn’t lied when she told him she’d never been touched. Lucien didn’t think he’d ever been someone’s first. She cried out a little and Lucien pressed his mouth to her forehead, shushing her softly, one hand smoothing the hair from her face. He wanted to kiss her so badly it made his body ache in a wholly separate way from the want he already felt buried inside her.

Something was unfurling in his chest, something old and instinctual that seemed to recognize her the way he recognized the sun and the earth around him. Elain’s fingernails dug into the back of his arm. She swallowed hard.

“I’m fine,” she murmured. The monster in his chest roared with approval and Lucien began to move, slowly at first even as his eyes rolled backwards at the sensation. He didn’t think whatever now lived in his body would allow him to hurt her. He didn’t want to hurt her. He wanted to care for her, to make her beg and scream and claw.

He brought his lips to hers, leaving a mere inch of space between them. “Let me kiss you,” he whispered, sliding himself halfway before coming back. She panted, shaking her head no.

“Elain,” he begged. “Elain, please.”

Her eyes were open, locked on his. “No.”

He snarled, hips snapping forward. Mine, you are mine, his thoughts echoed. He could have kissed her anyway, could have taken that last vestige of her control like he’d taken everything else but Lucien wanted her to give it to him freely. He didn’t understand why.

He wondered if she could come from his cock alone. Most females couldn’t and he would have been surprised if she could. He adjusted his body to slide his hand between the two of them and began rubbing at her still swollen clit.

Her pussy tightened almost painfully around him. He exhaled roughly, biting her bottom lip so hard he drew blood. “You like that?” He asked, more for himself than for her. She nodded, a moan slipping from her pretty, plump lips.

Elain’s pussy was practically a religious experience. Lucien couldn’t decide what made her feel the way she did, silky smooth and warm and somehow like she’d been made specifically for him. It had been a few months since his last sexual encounter…maybe he was just too grateful for access again.

“Come for me,” he demanded, rubbing demanding circles. “Be a good girl, Elain…come for me.”

She nodded, moaning louder this time. Lucien felt the walls of her cunt flutter a moment before her legs tightened around him. Elain screamed again though Lucien didn’t stop rubbing. He was close, too, release building in his gut. Again, again, again, his mind chanted as she reached for his hand to make him stop.

“Again,” he said, echoing his thoughts.

“Lucien please,” she half-sobbed before her hips bucked again and she came, building hotter and faster that time.

He couldn’t hold on. He’d take her again, and again, and again, until she was unable to do anything in the morning. He snapped his hips harder, lifting her legs to angle her so he could have her deeper. Lucien’s vision became black at the edges and a moment later his whole body went taut as lightning arced through his body and release stole through him.

Something hard snapped painfully in his chest and Lucien’s cry choked in his throat.

Mine, you are mine and I am yours, that beast in his chest snarled. Elain’s head tossed back and forth, her expression one of pure ecstasy but Lucien’s pleasure had turned to abject fear.

Mate. Mate. You are mine and I am yours.

You’re my mate, his thoughts screamed though he was unable to get the words out. He held himself inside her, his heart pounding. She opened her eyes, a beatific smile on her beautiful face.

“The women in the village said sex was awful,” she murmured as he let her pull him to her chest. The beast in his chest purred with contentment, pleased to have pleasured it’s mate. Lucien, though, suddenly felt terror.

“Were they right?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

“No.”

Cauldron boil and fry me, he swore softly, pulling out of her. He made his way to the bathroom and wetted a rag with warm water, wiping himself off first before walking to her. He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped between her legs, still thinking about the snap in his chest. She hadn’t felt it. Perhaps humans couldn’t. That terrified Lucien. She was his family’s slave, she was a human with an expiration date…

“What’s wrong?” She asked, fear suddenly clouding her eyes.

Tell her! His body screamed. Lucien swallowed hard.

“Nothing,” he lied, unable to make himself say the words.

Mate. You’re my mate.

The human was his mate.

#feysand #elucien #feyre x rhysand #elain x lucien #IM BACK #acotar fic #smut #watching these idiots fall in love #while the archeron sisters have no idea what is going on #is truly an experience

[hogwartstoalexandria]

Not the End

2060w | Explicit | Hotchwolf: John Blackwolf/Aaron Hotchner

Additional Tags:

Long-Distance Relationship, Hotel Sex, I Don't Like You to Friends to Lovers, Manhandling, Rough Foreplay, Tender Sex, Anal Sex, Kissing, Banter, Touch-Starved Character Gets the Touch and Attention They Deserve

Summary

As undefined as it has always been and remains, what they give each other is unstained by the years that have gone by. A fire they poke at with sporadic meetings and nurture with phone calls, pictures sent any which way was easiest or came more naturally, random visits spurred by a need neither wants to articulate; the flame is there, ten years in, it hasn't weakened, only gotten hotter, brighter, truer still.

Read on AO3 or here under the readmore!

He's panting. His own breathing is the loudest, perhaps the only sound he can hear, and yet he's not throwing in the towel just yet. He pushes John off him, turns the tables around until he's got him pinned to the opposite wall. It's an upscale enough hotel, the walls can take it. Aaron can feel his own smile, hungry, full of teeth, ready to bite. It doesn't scare him anymore, how easily John can get under his skin, bring out this version of him… His suit jacket is a pool of black by the front door, but he still has his tie, and John won't let him forget it—

He's pulled forward until there's not two inches between their faces, obsidian dark eyes taunting him. 

"Already winded, Mr. G-man?" 

"You wish," Aaron laughs, wedging one of his legs and pressing against the one wrist of John he still holds. He's not struggling anymore, but then again, Aaron hadn't realized he'd lost his grip on the hand now wound in his tie. He doesn't have time to wonder more though. John curls under him and pushes, hits him square in the chest, making Aaron stumble back and then some more as he keeps his hands on his shoulders. 

"So distractible, Hotchner." 

"You always talk so much or is that just a privilege of mine?" 

They fight around the room, chairs are pushed back, flower vases threaten to fall off consoles here and there before one or the other catches them reflexively. Aaron is once again trapped between John's heaving chest and a hard surface — the balcony door. He's tired of playing fair for once. His ear is still ringing from the first shove he sustained, but the pain is negligible; he can't say as much for the arousal that makes his blood simmer, his veins pop, his stomach clench. He bucks into John's grip and has to fight back the groan that forms in his throat when he finds proof of his own condition. He flashes him another smile. 

"Getting tired of pulling your weight?" John asks, "Government people, always so weak once you peel off the bureaucratic layers." 

"I think the word you're looking for is 'easy'," Aaron can't help it, he likes this. The snark, the barely veiled hatred for what he spends his days representing. He'd like to think what John truly hates is no longer, but it would be a lie. "You like me, though." John's eyebrows go up, his hands loosening around Aaron's forearms for a second or two; it's enough. Aaron slips out and around him, closes his arms around his chest and waist from behind. He speaks against John's ear. "Or do I have that part wrong, too?" 

John tries to struggle out of his grasp, shrug him off his back, but Aaron is not having it anymore. 

"What do you want?" John says after a minute has passed where they stand there, Aaron brushing his lips up and down the line of John's neck. 

The answer is easy. It's what he craves every day, what this very man has told him he should practice more, what he aims for and falls short of too many times with the team, even with Jess. He takes a deep breath that is full of John's shampoo, full of his skin and sweat. "Honesty." He screws his eyes shut and adds, "Truth." 

There's no scramble, no more haste in the way John unlocks Aaron's arms from around him or turns. There's no amusement either, no teasing, when he uses both his hands to undo Aaron's tie. Those eyes… No matter what he said, Aaron can barely take their scrutiny. He cups John's face and leans down. He doesn't go slow. They are past slow. He takes and he gives. He inhales but holds his breath— it punches out of him when John deepens their kiss even as his hands are busy opening Aaron's shirt. He gasps again when they reach his skin, heated against the chill he always carries with him, proprietary even as John refamiliarizes himself with the lines of his body. It's been months, long long months. 

"Bed," Aaron grunts, monosyllables are safer, easier, good for hiding if only for a little longer. John doesn't deny him, he never really does. Instead, he pushes Aaron in the right direction, keeps a hold of his hips even as they kiss, even as he makes Aaron feel for the first time in too long. The back of his legs collide with the bed, drawing a hmph from him that is quickly swallowed by more kissing, and Aaron remembers he's allowed to touch too. 

He lets his hands wander once John's pushed him onto the bed and knee-walked around his legs, until he's straddling him and Aaron can reach pretty much all of him. He finds the elastic that is keeping John's hair tied and as gently as he can, pulls it down. John frowns at him but doesn't comment, only pushes the long locks of it onto one side of his neck. Aaron tugs at the hem of his sweater, "Off?" It's not really a question, more of a matter of time that he needs sped up, over with. 

"Eager." John smirks at him, but he pulls off both the sweater and the tee-shirt he wore under. He drops them somewhere to the side, then makes a come hither motion of his fingers— he yanks Aaron's shirt off his shoulders the second he's within reach. He leaves the undershirt alone long enough for Aaron to steal another kiss, winding his fingers in the hair he cannot stop staring at. It's soft, and it falls around his forearm as his palm disappears in its length. He traces the faint scars that criss-cross all over John's chest, stomach and sides. They make him smile again. 

"Aaron," John calls his attention upwards, his palm wonderfully warm as it curls around the back of his neck and he proceeds to make him lose track of his thoughts. He says his name again in the gaps of them pressing their mouths together, stroking their tongues along bottom lips and behind teeth that will soon bite, not exactly gentle as desire consumes them once more. 

Aaron takes his undershirt off when the appeal of feeling John's skin against his own becomes too much. He gets his wish, but he also gets pushed down, John coming with him as they lay back down. "Naked, I'd like you naked," Aaron says, and he knows he sounds almost petulant, but he's done waiting. 

Only then, when their legs entwine and their bodies align in every way, does Aaron start to relax again. He's hard, and his breathing is more ragged than he would have liked. John's hair tickles his neck, and his fingers rake down his sides, mapping his ribs, grabbing his hip; Aaron arches into each touch. He wants so much. He wants it now, and John understands. 

Grabbing lube only takes a second, and before Aaron can feel impatient again, he grunts. John's touch is cold, sleek, and it immediately lights something up in Aaron's brain. His body tenses and relaxes in a rhythm, his joints burn and his fingers grapple for something to hold onto. This is exactly what he wanted. John makes quick work of preparing him for the more complete intrusion to come, for the union Aaron craves. He doesn't make a sound and so Aaron doesn't either. Except for their quiet breaths and the intimate noise of his fingers reaching past Aaron's defences, unraveling him with no sense of mercy nor real urgency, there's only silence. There's only the focus John keeps on him, only the thin lines of his mouth, unperturbed, yet not unaffected. Aaron gasps when John prods, he yearns when he retreats. He is need, and John never lets him forget that he is needed, too. 

Rough fingers reach and press, light a fire made of nerve-endings and heat, of lube warmed by skin and continued friction, and Aaron bites his lip so he won't break the quiet. He doesn't have to say anything, or do more than let his thighs fall open wider, his hands twist the sheets harsher. John slicks himself and wipes his hand on a haphazardly folded blanket next to them. For a second or two, nothing happens but more of this silence where instead of feeling exposed like he normally would, Aaron feels seen in a way that is so safe he could close his eyes and enjoy it if he didn't crave the eye contact so much. So he keeps his eyes trained on John, even as his teeth sink into his bottom lip. He loses himself in the warm depths there, and gasps his lip free when John's cock enters him, slow, burning, frank. John's mouth quirks in that unfocused grin Aaron often thinks about when he's alone, in the dark of his bedroom, in the loneliness of the stone cold months they spend apart. He touches himself with that smile in mind, that hard yet languid push and pull he's letting John lead them into, but not now. He doesn't need when he has the man right here right now, when he's given what he's craved and will crave still; he won't take his hands off John's skin if he can help it, won't stop reaching for his shoulders or gripping his back, won't stop chasing the tickling of his hair against the delicate skin of his wrists. 

As undefined as it has always been and remains, what they give each other is unstained by the years that have gone by. A fire they poke at with sporadic meetings and nurture with phone calls, pictures sent any which way was easiest or came more naturally, random visits spurred by a need neither wants to articulate; the flame is there, ten years in, it hasn't weakened, only gotten hotter, brighter, truer still. 

"Where did you go?" John's voice makes Aaron's back arch, startling and chasing more and more of the same sensations. 

He doesn't reply, only grazes his fingers up John's neck and jaw, until he can trace a line from cheek to cheek, crossing the bridge of his nose like a ghost of the yellow and white clay he's seen painted on John's face in photographs over the years. He does this with a reverence that makes his hand tremble and John's eyes widen slightly. The kiss that comes next takes what's left of Aaron's breath away, makes his lungs burn with the rest of him. He crosses his legs around John, pulls him further in and moans, unable to keep quiet any longer. The sounds he makes, the rapidly growing despair he feels—he can sense it all in every touch and every look John gifts him with. 

Their pace picks up. Their voices rise in volume and lower in pitch. Aaron's mind swims, "Please." His cock twitches, trapped between their stomachs as John lays on top of him, heavy, sweating, perfect. "John," he gasps, more a plea than a moan, more a confession than a prayer, and John hears it all. He always does, sometimes in the silences, sometimes in the lies, he hears him. 

"I do like you," John says later, when exhaustion weighs them both down, still tangled together, warm for the contact and the blankets they pulled up. 

Aaron laughs, freer than he was an hour before, freer than he has been in a long time. He smiles against John's shoulder, rubs his nose against the hard line of his collarbone. It's not hiding. It's chasing yet more of the honesty he loves so much, even if he won't say it, even if John doesn't either. 

"Jess is watching Jack until morning." 

"Is that so?"

His cheeks might hurt for all the smiling he's doing—Aaron goes easily when John pushes him onto his back and sliding between his legs again. "Too old to go again," he says anyway, stating the obvious when there is no place he'd rather be, nothing he'd rather do, than stay right where he is and let John do as he pleases. 

"Sometimes it is the journey itself that matters most," John whispers in his ear before he straightens up again and meets Aaron's eyes, "Not the end." 

#marie writes #hotchwolf #john blackwolf #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #notsfw #hotel rooms #long-distance relationships #banter

[ceescedasticity]

Director’s commentary for chapter 1 of Escher, especially how Future Futaba is almost fighting with past Futaba?

I'm not sure I'd describe it as fighting, exactly...

Let's see.

At the very end of December, shortly after the end of her second term of her first year of middle school, Futaba Isshiki woke up with a weird, undefinable sense of… something. Something was wrong. There was something she was forgetting. But nothing ever came of it, and after a while she let it go.

Futaba has now remembered that there is something to remember. However that's not a lot of good by itself.

January, and someone with atrocious handwriting stuffed a note in their mailbox. It took Futaba a good half hour to decipher it, and then she almost wished she hadn't.

IF YOU DON'T STOP YOUR RESEARCH SOMEONE WILL KILL YOU FOR IT

She gave the note to her mother, because she could hardly not, but she could have told the note-writer that this would not make her mother research any less. This just meant she was really on to something.

Wakaba did assure Futaba she'd be very careful, which was… something. And she told Sojiro about the note.

(This was different.) (Different from what?)

What's going on at the end here is she keeps finding herself thinking things when she can't consciously bring up the context or reasons for them. It's different from last time -- but she doesn't remember there was a last time. It's because Futaba isn't the same person as she was when she had a Palace, but it's not like she's a different person, either... So she keeps thinking these last-timeline-based things without knowing where they came from, so she's reacting to all these internal non sequiturs.

Or maybe, she remembers things when she's not thinking about them, but once she tries to think about it the memory escapes.

May, and Kana-chan dropped her diary, and Futaba read things she didn't understand and didn't know how to deal with, and— Deja vu. She was feeling deja vu, and she didn't know why.

June, and she wanted to worry about Kana-chan, but mostly there was an overpowering feeling of dread. She stopped asking her mom for things, but started sticking to her like glue at every opportunity. (Like that would help.) (Help with what?)

Each impactful incident leads a little closer to being who she was, and now she remembers that she feels like she should remember this. And she's remembering that something terrible is going to happen, because this summer is when Wakaba died last time.

July, and nothing happened. August, and nothing happened. Her mother got even more preoccupied with work, maybe, but Futaba felt too much relief to complain. It hadn't happened. (What hadn't happened?)

The mental shutdown/"suicide" hadn't happened. Last timeline, this would have been after Akechi had been working for Shido 3-4 months; Shido is confident in being able to use Akechi to leverage the Metaverse, and he decides to get Wakaba out of the way. This time, no Akechi, so no shortcut -- he needs to get the researchers to give him something.

September, October, and the sense of deja vu dissolved into disorientation. Not bad, just… disorienting. Futaba ignored her lack of real-life friends in favor of online ones, and got deeper into hacking, and ignored how the disorientation only got worse.

Futaba is no longer experiencing deja vu because she hasn't been through this before. Her personal timeline diverged drastically when Wakaba didn't die -- everything happening now is new and different. Which is weird, hence the disorientation.

--I'm not sure when Futaba came up with medjed, first time around, but I think it was after Wakaba's death. Sometime between moving in with Sojiro and the depression becoming all-consuming.

November, and conditions at her mother's job got tense. She'd come home late or not come home at all. When she was home she'd spend hours on the phone — usually with Sojiro, when Futaba managed to eavesdrop enough to identify anyone. Someone was meddling, and Wakaba wasn't sure how to get rid of them. Someone had a plan for practical tests, and Wakaba found it absolutely unacceptable. Of course she was being careful.

There was no deja vu at all, but Futaba couldn't help but feel there was no such thing as careful enough.

By the end of November, Wakaba has a Palace and the lab has the "rift generator".

Wakaba was — not good about remembering to check in, while she was working. Futaba would complain more, exceeeeept there had been a few times she'd been hacking or even gaming and had ended up similarly oblivious to the outside world, so she had to forgive her mother being 'in the zone'. She couldn't expect her to check in.

So Futaba bugged her phone.

She might have expected to feel more nervous at the blatant illegality of bugging the phone of someone doing secret research, but all she got was an increased conviction that she was doing the right thing, and an impulse to bug other things. It was a little odd.

Taking another step towards who she was when she got her Persona. --And also committing espionage against non-public government-sponsored research, which may outdo Team Disaster Freshmen's kidnapping in illegality.

"Isshiki, you know as well as I do we aren't going to be able to move forward without taking a few risks."

"I'm not saying don't look for a few reliable volunteers, I'm saying that there are rules about human subjects for a reason and their proposal breaks all of them."

"Don't be so emotional, Isshiki."

This might be specifically Fukui being condescending and implying being an over-emotional woman is the only reason she's objecting to whatever proposal there is to throw people into the Metaverse.

December, and it didn't get better.

There was no dread, this time, no certainty, no deja vu. Just fear.

I'm not sure how much that's even influenced by future-memories. She can tell there's something bad.

Okay skipping ahead a bit…

Futaba went to her room and brought up some brainstorming for Totally Legal Crowdsourced Consumer Protection, but most of her attention was on the feed from the bug in her mother's phone. (Not that she could do anything from here.) (Not that she could do anything there, what was she thinking, that she could use Final—) (What? Final what?)

Final Guard is one of the abilities Futaba/Prometheus picks up eventually, iirc it gives a chance of intercepting a fatal attack on Joker. Of course without having remembered, it just sounds like nonsense.

Travel noise. At least traffic noise was no longer as — nerve-wracking as it had gotten back in summer. (She still wasn't sure why.) Commute commute commute. She wondered if it would be worthwhile to investigate the head of Okumura Food's rumored nervous breakdown (too early no wrong thing no why do I even care about this stupid food company and their stupid burgers—).

Traffic noise stopped being so anxiety-inducing when the incident didn't happen. And once again, she remembers a psychological shake-up at Okumura Foods is significant but once she tries to think about why it's just gone.

Skipping a little more...

"Damn secretive corporate flunkies."

"Okay, but do I point them at the Kirijo thing to get them away from the schools, or stonewall them away from any new leads?"

The Kirijo group has been refusing to share any of their research and Wakaba is not impressed by them. She does not trust some shady mystery corporation to handle this sort of thing responsibly -- has no reason to believe they aren't just out to make money. …I'm not sure whether being told how much it's a front would make it better or worse.

Also -- someone has already proposed some sort of experimenting in schools. Maybe not exactly what we eventually saw in Valor & Discretion, but comparable.

Skipping some more...

Ten minutes after that he asked if Wakaba ever brought any work home, and if so he wanted Futaba to get out of the apartment.

"Where would I go?" Futaba muttered. (The cafe didn't exist yet—) (What?) But her mother never did bring work home, so it didn't matter.

She asked Sojiro which hospital, but he wouldn't tell her. Probably didn't want her trying to go there herself. But she didn't want him to come get her, he needed to stay with her mom— And he might not, if he didn't think she was staying put, so arrrgghhh. She was stuck.

She considered making coffee, but decided against it. She wasn't very good at it, unlike her mother or Sojiro (or—).

Futaba is right at the edge of remembering.

Little later…

She wanted to argue, but (Akira had been beat to hell when he came back, they'd had to get that doctor—) didn't.

(Who?)

(Akira, of course she knew who Akira was, he was her friend, her key item, her family. He pulled everything together. In a way she couldn't quite remember.)

This time she looked at the thought and it didn't disappear. Akira. Who? Oh, of course, Akira. The context hasn't showed up, but she's remembering things without them immediately slipping away. So it's not very surprising that not much later we get

He glared at Futaba when she walked into the waiting room. "You. She never would have turned to drugs if you weren't such a rotten child — this is your fault!"

Futaba glared at him hatefully, and didn't try to tell him her mother was not abusing drugs. (And not even a note this time to put him on this track—)

But if she'd been more persuasive, smarter, warier, better, could she have stopped this from happening? All her bad feelings, and she couldn't even—

And fear and guilt and blame and being a witness and oh god her mom came together and suddenly there was a cascade of death-Uncle-guilt-Sojiro-Medjed-shutin-tomb-PhantomThieves-Necronomicon-Akira-shutdowns-Shido-Prometheus-Mementos-HolyGrail-failure-noitcan'tendlikethis—

—And Futaba remembered everything.

a click.

#writing babble #start again fic