#valentines part 1 of 3 ! enjoy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

femdomlieeh · 4 months

Text

Crown (m)

Sub!Heeseung (ENHYPEN) x Dom!F!Reader

WC—5.8 ✧ k

WARNING—bathtub sex ✧ role-play (lovers/ gf & bf) ✧ blindfolding (m) ✧ stripping (m) ✧ unprotected sex (be safe yall!) ✧ piv ✧ light S&M ✧ dacryphilia (m) ✧ body worship (m) ✧ nipple play (m!r) ✧ light spanking (m!r) ✧ breath play (m!r) ✧ lingerie (f) ✧ teasing (m!r) ✧ thigh kink ✧ tattoo kink (?) ✧ brief begging ✧ biting (m!r) ✧ praise (f!g) ✧ marking (f!g) ✧ pet names (mami, prince, baby)

THEMES—smut ✧ best friend au ✧ fwb for one night agreement ✧ a little angsty

NOW PLAYING—imagine ✧ Ariana Grande

A/N. This is actually my favourite smut I’ve posted so far so I hope you enjoy!

Old Seungwoo version

M.LISTS—enhypen ✧ latest updates ✧ read on wp

✦ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ✧ ੈ ✧

Valentine’s Day.

The happiest day of the year for couples.

Couples could finally do PDA and have people cooing at them in either cuteness or jealousy, but never disgust because PDA was allowed on Valentine's Day.

People could finally have an excuse to do something special for someone, like making a grand romantic gesture or even proposing.

It was supposed to be that way, right?

I was going to have a corny day together with my boyfriend of three years, Yeonjun. Every single detail all the way from the restaurant to the hotel room had been thought out by me, because – not only am I romantic – I always like to be prepared.

Not to sound cocky or to flatter myself, but the plan was so good even I was impressed with it.

Except not everything went to plan.

My lover decided to break up with me one month before the awaited day. One month before Valentine's Day! Only two weeks into the new year! He had "grown out of love" as he'd said. Guess one of his New Year's resolutions was to break up with me.

My parents had met him and accepted him — which said a lot, since they've always had high standards and never liked any of my previous lovers — so it was safe to say that I felt lost.

For two weeks I'd avoided contact with my family, so I wouldn't have to tell them the news yet because I was embarrassed, I was single right in time for the day of love. The only person who knew, other than me and Yeonjun, was my best friend Heeseung.

Since the moment I told him, he made it his daily routine to come to my place with open arms and a warm embrace. I never cried in front of anyone but him. It isn't weak to shed tears, in fact shedding tears takes a lot of strength, I simply don't feel comfortable showing myself vulnerable to others, and especially not after being hurt by someone I trusted.

With Heeseung, it was different, however. We've known each other for so many years and we know most of each other's secrets already. I know that when I cry in front of him it's without being judged and he knows the same goes for him.

One day when he, like normally, went to my place, his smile was abnormal. It was fake. I knew it was fake. After all these years of knowing him, I could distinguish his fake smiles from his true ones faster than Eminem can rap.

Being the caring best friend I am, I asked him what had happened. At that, he broke down and let go of the fooling smile; he can never lie to me for more than a few seconds. His girlfriend, Karina, had broken up with him. Honestly speaking, it was understandable why she wanted to break up with him: 1. He spent too much time with me, 2. He never told her about his thoughts or what bothered him, 3. He didn't treat her like the queen everyone knows she is

Heeseung was mature and didn't beg her for a second chance because he knew she deserved someone better; someone who not only knew she deserved to be treated like a queen but treated her like it. But no matter how mature he was, it didn't make the pain smaller on his part. He was disappointed in himself for ever being in a relationship where he didn't treat his lover right.

And so it was my turn to comfort him. For a couple of days, I had opened arms and a warm embrace for him to find comfort in until he had calmed down.

Impulsively, we went to a tattoo shop and got him a tattoo. It wasn't the I'm-heartbroken-and-need-a-tattoo-to-look-good tattoo, it was the I-need-some-inspiration-in-this-dark-place tattoo. After brainstorming for a long ten minutes, he got the best idea. Don't lock me up, in italics right under his collarbone, above his heart to remind himself to not lock up his feelings.

He had been in great pain for the quarter of time it took to do the tattoo, but he didn't seem to mind... Judging by the way he was biting his lower lip, he was holding in a pained whine, seemingly trying to impress me by handling the pain. When the torture finally had come to an end, the final product made him smile truly – although that part of his body had to be covered with plastic and some tape whenever he so much as wanted to shower.

A week away from Valentine's Day, Heeseung and I made a pact; the kind of pact we never would have planned to have with each other. During the holiday we'd do all the cheesy things we had planned to do to our now-ex-lovers – but the most crucial parts was that A) the other person wouldn't judge and B) next day all of it would be forgotten. Wow. We had grown so dependent on each other's care that we made the kind of pact we never would have planned to have with each other...

It was probably stupid to do such a thing with a best friend of so many years, but it was also the 'healthiest' thing to do for us two. Although I, at this point, had convinced Heeseung that I was over Yeonjun, I still hadn't convinced myself. And the same went for Heeseung; he had convinced me that he was over Karina, but not himself.

My plan for Valentine's Day was sublime and if I didn't go through with it, I would regret it — and, damn, I couldn't wait a whole year for the next opportunity (if I even would get the opportunity)!

And that explains this. Us standing. A week later. On a romantic rooftop. Dressed nicely. Smiling awkwardly at each other. On Valentine's Day.

"Since you're my boyfriend tonight, let's go down to the room I rented, shall we?"

"This feels weird," he giggled lightly.

"Play along!" I held out my hand for him to hold and flashed him a smile. He reciprocated my smile and took my hand, following my lead down the stairs to our hotel room; the room I had booked for me and Yeonjun.

Our hands were sweating. It wasn't the first time Heeseung and I held hands, but it was the first time we ever did something like this together; something normal best friends don't do. The affection we've displayed to each other throughout the years had been mostly words and hugs and sometimes cuddles. But now...we were going to show affection in ways we've only done to lovers.

I held out the black card key in front of the sensor above the golden knob but retracted it before the door unlocked.

"If you want to turn back, now is the time to do so. I don't want to go through with this if you don't want to," I said and looked at him.

His eyes told me that it was OK, but I needed his consent to be sure he was OK.

"I want to do this, don't worry," he smiled a little as his heart pounded.

Without breaking eye contact, I put the card in front of the sensor again and waited a few microseconds for it to unlock. I turned the knob and opened the door to the pact.

"After you," I gestured him to enter the room.

"Why thank you," he blushed and hurried inside so I wouldn't catch a glimpse of his flustered state.

But I did.

And I smiled when I saw it.

The room was big and open. Simple, but just perfect. Knowing me and my cheesy nature, Heeseung had expected perhaps some rose petals on the bed or a few scented candles by the bed but, to his surprise, he saw none of that.

I pushed him down onto the soft bed with silk sheets, distracting him for the real surprise, and sat beside him.

"Before we do anything, we need safe words."

"Safe words?" he inquired and raised a brow unknowingly.

"A word to say in case anyone goes overboard or passes the limits," I explained shortly.

"Alright, mine is apple."

"Why apple though?" I giggled at his randomness.

"I ate an apple today." (It was true, he'd had a green apple because he once read that green apples make your breath smell better.)

"If you're going for a fruit I am too. My safe word is peach."

"Why peach?" he raised his brow at me stealing his fruit idea.

"Your peach looks really good in those pants, so it was the first thing I thought of," I replied and laughed at his flustered self.

He knew he had a plump peach.

It was just embarrassing hearing it from me since I, as his best friend, am supposed to not acknowledge how incredibly handsome he is – and especially when it comes to body parts such as peaches!

I put my hand on his thigh to get his attention away from the embarrassment.

"Tonight, I'm not your best friend anymore, Prince," I said with a newfound tone that sent shivers down Heeseung's spine.

I neared him and whispered in his ear, "Tonight, I'm your Mami."

He gulped. I had always been a very dominant person in everything I did, so he expected nothing less than that in bed — but the foreign titles took him by surprise. But it made sense for me to use titles in bed, because I was classy like that.

"What's your safe word?" I asked to make sure he knows he can use it whenever he wants to. After all I didn't know what was out of his comfort-zone.

"Apple."

"If you feel uncomfortable you know you need to say that word, understood?"

"Yes, Mami," he answered, a blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks.

With his green light I continued, "Good boy."

At the praise, his cheeks matched the floating rose petals. I loved how responsive he was already. Before tonight I wasn't sure what kind of partner he would be but finding out what he likes step by step excites me – more than I thought finding out my best friend's kinks would excite me. I want to know everything. What turns him on, what makes him scream, what makes him cry; everything.

"My best friend's into praise, hm. Who would have thought?" I teased and squeezed his thigh lightly.

"I'm not your best friend anymore, Mami. I'm Prince, right?"

I looked into his eyes and saw something I'd never seen in them before. Was it lust? Was it something else? How could I be sure of what it was if I hadn't seen him like this before?

"Indeed, you are, Prince," I smiled, slowly feeling my hand up his thick, muscular thigh.

He followed my hand's path with his gaze and bit his lip like back in the tattoo shop. Was he holding in a moan, perhaps? When my hand was at the top, soon on his V-line, I heard how his breathing grew louder and more unsteady.

He seemed to enjoy his thighs being touched.

I noticed how his pants were forming a tent in the prince area, and smirked. To tease him, I let go of his thigh and walked up to the door to the bathroom. He tensed. Maybe he wanted me to touch him some more?

"After you, Prince," I said and opened the door for him.

Once again that stereotype-breaking gesture had him blushing ferociously.

He went into the new room, not expecting much other than grabbing a condom. But when the sight he was met by was nowhere near what he expected, yet it didn't shock him one bit. A large bathtub filled with atypical pink water and typical red rose petals floating on the surface.

He chuckled, "As expected, my best friend is a cheesy person."

"I'm not your best friend anymore, Prince. I'm your Mami, right?" I asked with a confident smirk.

"Y-Yes," he stuttered and turned away from me so he could avoid my powerful gaze.

"Yes what?" I pushed a little to see how comfortable he was with the title.

"Yes, I'm Mami's Prince," he said under his breath.

I went up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso, feeling the expensive fabric under my fingertips. "Want to take this off for me?"

"Y-Yes, Mami."

I smiled, "Then give me a little show." He gulped as I sat down on the edge of the tub to get a full view of him. With adrenaline coursing through his body, he let the blazer fall off his shoulders and land on the floor, followed by the ivory dress shirt. As soon as his skin was touched by the air, goosebumps formed, and he flexed his abs. He sure had worked hard to get flex his muscles like this.

Biting my lip, I pointed at his ivy pants, "Take those off too." The way I bit my lip made him feel confident. I didn't bite my lip to prevent honest sounds from falling out like Heeseung did, I bit my lip to prevent myself from ripping the rest of his clothes off. He undid the belt and let the pants pool down around his ankles. Now, in front of me, was he standing in nothing but a pair of black boxers that were fitting all too tight due to those thick thighs and the clearly big erection. He was gulping under my gaze, waiting for me to instruct him on what to do.

"Show me your prince part, Prince." Blushing at the euphemism, he put his fingers under the waistband and pulled his boxers down. He was fit and attractive. Each muscle on his body was visibly hard, including his dick that was high and proud in the air. "You're so handsome, Prince," I praised and watched a small smile break out on his face.

He walked to me with his head down and stood with his tall figure in front of my sitting posture. "Do you want me to touch you, Prince?"

"Yes, please." At that, I put a finger in the middle of his chest and traced it down his abs and to the tip of his dick. He bit his lip again to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping; he wanted to impress me by being good. But I didn't want to give him too much pleasure yet.

"Let's get wet now, shall we? I didn't fill this tub for aesthetics..." He laughed lightly, feeling more at ease at the small joke I made. Listening, he slowly set foot into the tub and tried not to spill so much as a drop of the water. It took him a good half minute to fully settle down since he's so tall and big due to his muscles — but that was good, because it gave me plenty of time to prepare additional surprises for him.

When he averted his attention from the pink water and back to me, he was met by an astonishing, breathtaking, life-changing sight. Me. In lingerie. With a red silk blindfold in hand. This specific lace lingerie was Yeonjun's favorite, so I naturally chose to wear it now – in red to match the theme of the holiday. I felt the most comfortable in it. In this color. In this fabric. Everything made me feel sexy. But the memories of what me and him had done while I was in it brought back a gloominess.

Heeseung didn't know how to react. Did I pick the color red because it was the traditional color of Valentine's Day or because I knew it was his favorite color? For some odd and unknown reason, he hoped for the latter one.

"You look so handsome like this, Prince, but I think you'd look even better in this," I winked and held up the red blindfold. He shuddered. The little piece of fabric was something different. Never had he ever used one in the bedroom — only in fun games with friends, where you had to trust your teammates. Now, however, he was going to put his trust in me.

"What's your safe word?"

"Apple," he answered, "I trust you. You don't need to ask me about it all the time, I'll tell if you need to stop."

"But we've never done this before so I'm scared of it going wrong," I admitted.

"I trust you. Trust me too, Mami."

"As you wish, Prince," I replied.

Once again, I sat down on the edge of the bathtub. I lowered the love blindfold to his face, holding it right above. He was looking at me with those big, curious eyes, filled with anticipation for what was going to happen. How long I was staying still was quickening his heartbeat; he knew I wanted him to be verbal.

"Please," he said, feeling slightly impatient; his heart would jump out his chest any second now. Smiling, I finally put the blindfold on him and tightened it behind his head, making sure it wasn't too tight since I didn't want to ruin his beautiful hair or innocence too much. Oh wait, scratch the last one. I petted his hair, which was equally smooth as the silk around his head. "Does it hurt, Prince?" I asked, referring to the blindfold.

"No, Mami." The silk was smooth against his skin and, although all he could see was darkness, it was magical; all the other senses were heightened. He could hear me breathing and even imagine what I was thinking whilst I was touching him this gently. Maybe I was thinking of how much I loved him as a best friend. Maybe I was thinking of how I'd ruin him. Maybe I was thinking of what to do next.

Slowly I proceeded to his neck. He could feel my presence, through my breaths on his skin, and thus elongated his neck for me — he couldn't see me, but he could sense what I wanted. I began placing small kisses up his neck to his well-defined jaw, while he tried to keep his breathing in control. The kisses were small, yet they made such a big impact on him since his sense of touch was thousands of times greater than normal.

"M-Mami?"

"Yes, Prince," I said between kisses.

"Can I...touch you?"

"Not yet," I smirked and moved further down to his collarbone. I left open-mouthed kisses all over it and stopped to admire his tattoo. Technically I had been the one who had encouraged him to get it. It was so small, but it held so much meaning behind it. My fingers were tracing along the tattoo, soothing Heeseung. He felt calm. He felt at peace. He felt connected to me. When my fingers traced lower and experimentally touched his nipple, he let out a whimper. Bingo.

"Sensitive much?"

He didn't answer, embarrassed.

"I asked you something, Prince," I said with a less kind voice.

"Yes, Mami. I-I'm sensitive, but you already knew that."

It was true. Since the start of our friendship he had showed his vulnerability and sensitivity. He never liked it when I jokingly roasted him, only being into compliments and praises. Praising. I bet he'd be into that.

He whimpered out a 'Mami' when I attached my lips to his nipple. Trying to not shock his body too much, I only gave a quick kitten lick, yet it seemed to affect him a lot when he couldn't hold back a sole whimper. I couldn't tell if it were because of the sensitivity provided by the blindfold or because he had sensitive nipples. Either way, I wanted to test how much I could make him feel.

To give him a little sensation without touching him, I breathed on the wet nipple so he shivered a little at the coldness. He put both of his hands on each edge of the tub to stabilize himself, feeling like he could lose the bare control he had now that I found a weak spot of his. I flattened my tongue and licked against him, making him quiver.

"M-M-Mami," he stuttered breathily. He wasn't trying to call me, nor was he trying to tell me anything — my actions simply lit a part of him that seemed to love my title. He knew exactly how to turn me on and this was the first time we had ever been intimate. It was actually cute how my best friend was so accustomed to both mine and his title. Yeonjun's title, I meant.

I reached my hand under the surface of the water and felt up his thigh. He moaned. Yes. Moaned. At a simple touch. Ashamed of the moan, he let go of one of the edges and brought his hand over his mouth, making him lose a part of his balance. "Don't keep your sounds to yourself, Prince. Give them to me," I ordered.

Smirking against his skin, I started sucking which caused a gasp to erupt at the sudden stimulation. "M-Mami, Mami—" he whimpered loudly. He had tried to keep his noises to himself until now, but although it hurt his pride a little, he liked pleasing me.

How could whimpers sound so beautiful? They were so angelic and graceful, contrary to the scene of sinning. I retracted from him to admire the view. One nipple was red and swollen and the other one was left untouched. Each muscular arm was resting on each edge, trying not to move a millimeter. The blindfold was covering part of his face yet matched with his feverish blush. His mouth was agape, letting the whimpers I loved oh so much out every now and then. I was happy I hadn't gone for the cliché bubble bath, because now that the water was clear I could see his naked body — every part from his beauteously tattooed upper body to his thick stone-hard thighs and dick.

But there was one part of his body that I couldn't see. One part that was magnificent and that I needed to see. "Turn around," I whispered in his ear.

"W-What?"

"Turn around and show me your butt, Prince," I clarified and waited for him to move.

Unsurely, he supported himself on the edges and sat up. Although he couldn't see he could feel, so he had no difficulty turning around and putting his hands on the edge he had been resting his back on until now. He arched his back, adding to the sex appeal that the tub already delivered. Damn, how could an ass be that good-looking? How could—

"C-Can you spank me?" he interrupted me from my thoughts.

Did I even know my best friend? Or did he know me so well that he knew that was exactly what I wanted to do in that moment?

"What do you say, Prince?"

Good boy knew the answer, "Please."

"You'll need to beg a little more than that," I said teasingly, making him swallow yet another piece of his pride.

"Can you, please, please, spank me, Mami? I've been so good until now; don't I deserve it?"

He made a fair point. And he also confirmed my theory of him having a praise kink.

"Yes, you do, Prince. You've been so obedient until now, of course you deserve a little pain."

His cheeks tinted pink. Yes, he did indeed have a praise kink.

Suddenly I spanked him, creating a loud echo of skin-to-skin sound. He jolted forward with a whine, not expecting the hit since he couldn't see me or my hand in the air. His cheeks jiggled and I swore that my ex had never made me this wet before as I felt my wetness drip down my thighs.

"H-Harder, please, Mami."

"Since you're such a good prince for me, of course!" Those words. He loved hearing them. He knew I probably had those thoughts already, since he's aware he's a good boy, but hearing me say them made his heart race. Once again, I hit his skin and made him jolt forward from the harsh touch. Except this time, he moaned out my title louder. He held his head down, adding to the submission.

"M-Mami—"

"You want more, Prince?"

"Yes, plea—"

Spank! Before he even could finish his answer, my hand was back on his cheek again — I had already predicted his answer. Now one of his cheeks had my red handprint on it, matching his blindfold and blush, whilst the other cheek had no mark. And I was going to keep it that way. Asymmetry is beautiful.

His blindfold, nipple and cheek weren't the only things red. The part of his body that needed me the most hadn't gotten any attention yet. His dick's color stood out from most of his body and the way he reacted to small touches could only hint at him needing me to touch it.

"Turn around," I ordered him again.

"W-What— But you haven't—"

"Do you want me to touch your prince part?" I disrupted him.

"Y-Yes."

"Then turn around and show it to me, Prince."

He let go of the tub and turned around in the water, making sure to be comfortable when resting his back against it because he knew he'd stay in that position for a while. He heard how I got into the tub too. The water was rippling, and my feet were touching the tub; he could both feel and hear that I got in. Slowly, as to not drive any water out, I sank down onto his lap and put my hands on the tub on either side of his head. The feeling of my smooth skin on his indicated I had taken off the lingerie. That only meant one thing. I drew closer to him and whispered in his ear a million-dollar question: "Do you want your dick inside me?"

Gulping, he nodded promptly.

"Use your words, Prince," I sang.

He took another gulp before speaking, "Y-Yes, please, Mami."

"Good boy," I praised and watched as his true smile made an appearance like it'd done many times tonight.

Only to form an 'o' and let a long moan out as I sat down and got filled up by his dick deliciously. "Ah~ M-Mami~" The sensitivity of waiting and being blindfolded added with my tightness was what brought out his embarrassingly loud moan.

I needed to get used to the size since he was bigger than my last lover. In the meantime, I decided to get back to his stunning neck and kiss it. He had two prominent birthmarks under his Adam's apple; the left one was higher up and the right one was closer to his collarbone. Since I can remember I had liked them. They were a distinctive feature of his, just like his tattoos. I kissed both birthmarks and started moving up and down slowly on his dick. This wasn't going to be a hard fuck session; this was going to be a slow and soft lovemaking session because he was my prince. For tonight at least.

He sporadically let out moans that ranged from high to low pitched, long to short lasting — all of them were music to my ears — a love song I'd think of every now and then when I didn't have my prince by my side. The sound of the water moving each time I did was the background music. I started marking his neck with beautiful love bites, not hickeys, because these marks were out of love. Love and pride, as I wanted everyone to see that he was mine.

As I sucked harder on his neck, his moans turned into constant whimpers. He didn't know what this feeling was. Never had he ever made love with someone before. Sure, he'd been caring in bed but never had he felt this cared for before. On the other hand, it wasn't my first time. I had done this to Yeonjun every time I wanted him to know how much he meant to me (all the time). But, although this was an illusion me and Heeseung had created, it felt real.

"Ma-Mami, can you go rougher on me? Please?" At that I sunk my teeth into his collarbone, not the one with the tattoo, but the bare one. I didn't want to cover the meaning behind the tattoo, instead I wanted to cover the other part of skin, so I'd be the one who in a way adorned both sides. The friend in me was in his tattoo and the lover in me was in his mark. He bit his lower lip to try to conceal the pathetic whimper, failing while doing so. Sure, he loved being taken care of, but he also loved pain.

My thrusts were slow, yet long lasting, like the memory of this night would be soon. This felt surreal. Our connection. Our love. Our everything. The love bites on his neck and the literal bite mark on his collarbone would be enough proof the next morning when Heeseung would wake up that this night in fact had happened.

He let go of his lower lip and let the whimpers out freely, not caring that it hurt his pride because when you're in love your pride doesn't matter as much as it did before. He was reaching his breaking point and so was I but we both purposely held our orgasms back. We didn't want this to end. We wanted this love to last as long as it possibly could. We knew that the next day we would go back to being best friends; there'd be no more Prince and Mami. We knew that we would be gone like the pink water in this tub would be in the morning. The marks would remain on his neck and shoulder the next morning...but the illusion of love wouldn't.

"A-Are you cumming?" I asked, drunk on love.

"Y-Yes, b-but I can wait." We had already been at it for longer than an hour — even the water was cold — but that wasn't enough. We were both exhausted, both mentally because it was late and physically because of the lovemaking.

"I know you want to cum, Prince," I said, not wanting him to wear himself out.

"C-Can you choke me first, Mami? Please, I've a-always wanted y-you to do that to me," he mumbled.

I didn't answer him, instead I let go of the edge and circled my fingers around his neck. For most people, choking was some kinky shit. But for us, it was romance. I was quite literally holding his life in my hand and he trusted me with it. He trusted me with his whole life, and I didn't let him down. That's a part of love; letting yourself into a vulnerable position, knowing the other person can hurt you, but staying because you have faith in that they would love you instead.

In this moment, he had everything he didn't know he wanted. He felt like he'd arrived in utopia by accident. There was nothing he wanted to change. Nothing. And neither did I. His marks were asymmetrical, but that was in my eyes perfect. I tightened my grip on his neck a little, making him choke out a small whiney moan. At the same time, I felt my core aching and his dick pulsating. We needed to cum. Physically we needed to. But emotionally we didn't want to.

"Let's cum together," I said and let go of his neck

"Please, just a little more," he begged.

"We can't hold back, and you know it," I stated.

"Please, Mami," he cracked his voice. I looked at his face. His face was red, and the blindfold had wet patches. The patches weren't there because of the water splashing on him (I had made sure to not splash any on his face), they were there because they'd gotten out of his eyes. He was crying, not wanting us to come to an end. But we needed to. He wasn't my boyfriend; he was only playing the role of my boyfriend. I treated him as if he were Yeonjun, not Heeseung.

For the first time ever, I kissed him. Not on his body, but on his lips. He returned the kiss with just as much thirst as me. Surrounded by water, yet we thirsted for each other. We needed to savor this before it ran out. I tangled my hands into his soft hair, not caring if I ruined his hair anymore. I didn't care. All I cared about was this moment. For the first time this night, he let go of the tub fully and put his hands on my skin, letting them relish and remember every curve and edge before he'd never get to touch me like this ever again.

I paused the kiss and said for the last time, "Let's cum together."

"Can you take th-the blindfold off first?"

Truth was that he wanted to see me so he could have a visual memory of that one time he made love with his best friend. During all of this, he'd had a blindfold and although he felt that everything was real, he wanted to know for sure he wasn't dreaming. I untied it and threw it away to who-cares-where. He opened his eyes and took in the view of me. I was naked. I was raw. I was vulnerable. I had no layers shrouding any part of me. "I love you," he said, looking into my eyes.

Holding his face in my hands, I said, "I love you too."

And there we reached our climax.

The end.

{One year later}

Valentine's Day.

The happiest day of the year for couples.

I walked into our bedroom and was met by a wonderful view. My real boyfriend was standing in front of our bed. "I missed you so much, Baby," I smiled and kissed his cheek as per usual.

He was clad in only a pair of boxers and nothing else. "I have a little surprise for you."

"Oh really?" I asked, amused, and sat down on the bed as he stood in front of me.

He coughed to clear his throat and looked serious, "I've been keeping a little secret from you for a little while now..."

What did he mean? Had he been reconsidering our relationship? Was I going to relive the same heartbreak as last year?

I must've looked worried, because suddenly he broke out of the serious trance he tried to be in and smiled at me. Slowly he pulled down his underwear to reveal the little surprise.

Right on his V-line.

A tattoo.

Of a little crown.

Because he is my prince.

✦ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ✧ ੈ ✧

“Me with no makeup, you in the bathtub

Bubbles and bubbly, ooh

This is a pleasure, feel like we never

Act this regular

(…)

Kiss me and take off your clothes

Imagine a world like that”

—ari

558 notes · View notes

egcdeath · 1 year

Text

the l word

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: the five times you realized that you loved joel, and the first time one of you says it.

word count: 9.1k

warnings: canon divergent, no apocalypse, 5+1 fic, hurt/comfort, a certain someone gets punched, brief mention of postpartum depression & abandonment, really brief mention of physical abuse in 3, fluff, domestic fluff, angst with a happy ending, found family

author’s note: happy very early valentine’s day! this is part three of the soccer parents au, you can read spectator sport (p1) and clean sheet (p2) here!

this fic would not be possible if it were not for the help of @freakinfairykind, who sent me the idea for scene 3 and listened to my thought vomit whenever i hit a roadblock! you can thank them for the brilliance that is what occurs in that scene :)! enjoy!

part four / series masterlist

Zero

After Nathan, you were sure that you would never fall in love again. Love was supposed to be beautiful and soft—a random bouquet of flowers, having a whole conversation with just your eyes, sweet messages sent to you when you expected it least and needed it most, and foot massages after a long day. For you, love had been nothing of the sort—settling for mediocrity, spitting out venomous words during arguments, and biting back tears on forgotten anniversaries.

Love wasn’t kind or patient, or rainbows and flowers. Love was a storm cloud that followed you around when you were around him, pouring sadness and anger on you and striking you with lightning bolts of resentment.

Maybe some people just simply weren’t meant for love. Maybe you were one of them.

One

After years of trying to hold together a failing marriage and hide the myriad of painful feelings you were going through for the sake of your daughter, bottling up your feelings had become your preferred coping mechanism to everyday stressors.

For the most part, it worked for you. Sure, some days were harder than others, and the smallest confrontation or blip in the day would send you spiraling; but more often than not, you were able to compartmentalize whatever was bothering you and save it for a rainy day.

That was part of what worked so well about the relationship you had with Joel during the soccer season—you had the opportunity to unscrew the lid of the shaken bottle of your feelings just a little bit, taking some of the edge off by yelling about completely inconsequential things. But now, you don't have that outlet. And today was one of those days that you desperately needed it.

Nathan had come by to pick up Chloe just a bit ago, and it was very obvious that she hadn’t exactly wanted to spend her weekend with him. Some of her friends were going to the mall and having a sleepover, and because Nathan wasn’t particularly fond of their parents, he’d very openly told her no. She begged and pleaded to stay with you (mainly so she could go hang out with her friends), which of course broke your heart a little bit, but also led to a pretty dramatic outburst from your daughter to Nathan when he’d picked her up.

“You’re raising a spoiled little brat,” he hissed at you, pointing an accusatory finger once Chloe was in the car.

“At least I’m raising her. You only show up when it’s convenient for you,” you shot back. If Nathan wanted to stoop low, you could fall to his level. “Put your finger down. She’s watching us.”

“A little argument won’t hurt her,” he scoffed. “See? You’re proving my point: you spoil her too much.”

“Because years of watching her parents bicker wasn’t traumatic enough? Get in the fucking car, Nathan.”

He huffed, looking back at the car, then over at you. “Fine. But before I go, I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking poorly about me in front of her. Clearly she’s listening to you and acting out because of it.”

“Have you considered that you’re just a shit father and maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you?” you were already making your way back inside, feeling the avalanche of emotions beginning to stir inside of you, and a little frightened of what might come out next.

“You’re still such a bitch. Every day I praise every deity that’s out there that I left your sorry ass.”

You were viciously fighting the urge to get the last word in, knowing that whatever would come out next wouldn’t be good, and you certainly didn’t want Chloe seeing you like that. You left him with a sarcastic thumbs up, then slammed your front door, taking deep breaths to attempt to calm yourself down.

You crumbled down in front of the door, still maintaining slow and deep breaths. It was no big deal. Nathan just says stuff like that to stir the pot. You just needed to find something to take your mind off of everything. Your mind went to the scarf you’d been working on crocheting, something you could mindlessly do for a little while while you cooled off.

The scarf was going well. You were calmly crocheting the evening away when you checked your phone to find a few apologetic messages from your coworkers. Feeling confused, you went on to check your email, only to find that the promotion you’d spent the last few months of your life slaving away for had been given to someone else—someone who had worked half as hard as you, and even took credit for a few of your projects.

Your hands shook as you set down your phone and attempted to pick back up the crochet hook. You were fine, right? Sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes you sacrifice hours of your free time, hours of time you’ll never get back with your child, or significant other, hours you’ll never get back of sleep, hours of-

You cut your mind off, tossing aside the scarf and taking a deep breath. You were gonna be okay. This just meant you could take your foot off the gas going forward, since your work, effort, and time clearly was not being valued. Maybe you would just sit at your desk and play games, then slap your name on projects and presentations like Naomi. Maybe you’d just-

Your phone began to vibrate on your bed and your immediate reaction was to silence it, but upon checking the contact name, you became slightly more inclined to answer.

“Hey! I almost thought you weren’t gonna pick up,” the man on the other end chuckled.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, although you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle anything else today. With how your day was going, Joel was probably calling you to break up.

“Better than okay. We finished up early, and Sarah’s already at her friend’s. You in the mood for some company?”

No, not particularly. In fact, if Joel came over, you’d probably end up going off on him over something you don’t really mean, successfully putting an end to the best thing you’ve had in a while.

“Uh,” your voice cracked, and a rogue tear slipped down your face. You didn’t even know that you were on the brink of tears. “I’m sorry,” you uttered, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes.

“Sorry for what? You don’t have to feel bad for not wanting me over,” he said genuinely, not picking up on your emotional state over the phone.

“No, I do want you over,” you whimpered. “I just… I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“What? I promise you I’m not going anywhere. Well, I’m going home now, but I can also come to your place if you want me to.”

“Please,” you grit out.

“You okay?” he asked, finally catching on to the fact that something was very off with you.

“I don’t know,” you confessed.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No.”

“You sure you want me to come over?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled, desperately trying to fend off your tears.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Bye,” you hung up, burrowing yourself under layers of blankets and curling up onto your side. Maybe this tidal wave of emotions would pass by the time Joel got to your place. You closed your eyes as you took deep, shaky breaths, wiping away stray tears every now and then as they fell. You could pull yourself together.

You kept telling yourself this as you dragged yourself out of bed to answer the door, but the moment you saw Joel with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, you completely lost it. He immediately tossed the items down and pulled you into a tight embrace, not exactly knowing what was wrong, but instinctually wanting to comfort you regardless.

You didn’t even really know what it was either. Sure, you were pissed that you’d lost the promotion, and even more upset that Nathan had called your daughter a name while insulting your parenting skills, but it was far more than that. It was every little thing from the past two months that had upset you in some capacity that you had decided to push as far down as possible.

You sobbed until your throat was raw and your eyes grew sore from crying so much. The whole time Joel wordlessly held you, rubbing soothing circles into your back and swaying you back and forth just the slightest bit. You almost felt like your tears would never stop, and the more you willed yourself to pull it together, the harder it was to do so.

Finally, you pulled away, head hanging with humiliation by the emotions abruptly pouring out of you. You truly felt like a live wire. You should’ve just told Joel not to come over.

“Want me to run you a bath?” he asked softly, tilting your chin up so he could look at you, and rubbing a thumb over your cheek. “Or is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“A bath is good,” you said quietly, averting your gaze. You almost felt like a toddler in the midst of a tantrum. The shame of being a grown woman who couldn’t even control her emotions was overwhelming, but Joel didn’t seem to mind much at all. He simply led you up to your bathroom and quietly filled the tub for you, checking it every now and then to make sure it wasn’t too hot. Once the tub was filled up, he helped you undress, then held your hand as you stepped into the tub.

“Would you like me to stay?” Joel asked as you settled into the tub.

“Not really,” you admitted.

“Okay. Just yell for me if you need anything. I’ll be downstairs.”

Somehow, the bath was everything you needed. It was just warm enough to relax your rather tense muscles, and just quiet enough to allow you to actually process your thoughts. You sat and soaked in the bath for a while, just inhaling the scent of lavender, and trying your best to let go of the feelings that you’d been holding onto for so long.

Eventually, you felt ready to talk about things, and called out Joel’s name, who after a moment, showed up in your bathroom and sat down on a towel next to the tub.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching for your pruny hand.

“Better,” you answered as you laced your fingers with his.

“Well, I’m here when you feel ready to talk about it. And if you don’t feel ready to talk about it, that’s okay too.”

“Okay,” you said quietly. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, the apology being more of a force of habit.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Joel assured, “we all feel our feelings sometimes,” he pushed away a bit of hair that had fallen into your face.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I guess,” you continued. It had been a while since you’d shown any negative emotions in front of anyone, let alone a significant other. In fact, the last time you’d been sad in front of a significant other, you’d been laughed at and mocked. You’d been conditioned to see your own vulnerability as weakness, as a character flaw you needed to apologize for.

“Like what? Naked?” he teased, trying to at least make you smile when you’d clearly been feeling so down. “You know I don’t mind that at all. Seriously, though. There’s nothing wrong with being upset, and there’s nothing wrong with being upset in front of the people you care about.”

A tear slipped down your cheek. It had been so long since anyone had made you feel like you weren’t a burden for having a rough day. Joel gently brushed away your tears with his thumb, and kissed your forehead.

“Thank you,” you muttered, feeling all sorts of feelings, particularly one feeling you couldn’t quite describe that had been lying dormant for years of your life.

You eventually got out of the tub once the water had become too cold and you had become

somewhat of a human prune, and you found yourself curled up in bed with Joel, wearing a flannel that he’d left behind the last time he was over.

“Feeling any better?” he asked once again, gently rubbing your back as a trashy reality TV show played quietly in the background.

“Yeah,” you mumbled as you looked up at the ceiling, “it’s been a rough few months.”

“Months?” Joel asked, scooting closer to you. “What’s been happening?”

“Too much to get into,” you sighed. “I guess it just all came out now.”

Joel turned down the volume of the TV, and turned his body so that he could face you properly. “If you want to talk, we have the time. I may or may not have drank a coffee on my way over here, so I’ll be completely alert for the next few hours.”

He gently grabbed your hand and squeezed it, a little reminder that he was here for you.

“Today’s just been… bad. When Nathan picked Chloe up, she was upset so he called her a spoiled brat and said that it was my fault that she was one. Obviously I do a lot for her, and I know that I’m a good mom, but sometimes the way he talks about her scares me a little. I don’t want her to have self-esteem issues because her dad likes to name-call. I mean, she’s probably gonna have enough issues from our shitty relationship and messy divorce. That really upset me, but that definitely wasn’t the last straw or anything.”

Joel silently sat and listened, holding your hand and listening attentively.

“I lost the promotion, Joel. You know, the one I’ve been working absurd hours for? But it’s not just that, it’s just… there are months of emotions I haven’t had a chance to process. I guess it just all came out now after that.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “Nathan is an asshole. He shouldn’t be saying that kind of thing about his child just to make you feel bad. And your boss is stupid for not giving you that position when you’ve clearly earned it. Everything you’ve felt today is valid, but so is everything else that you’ve been holding in for the past… however long. It’s okay to feel your feelings in the moment instead of waiting for them to boil over.”

“I guess, it’s just… I don’t know. I’ve had to be strong for so long. I don’t know if I know how to not wait for my emotions to boil over.”

“Well, you don’t have to be so strong anymore. You’re not alone,” he assured you. “If you ever need me to watch Chloe because you need to go out to the middle of nowhere and scream, or just need someone to talk your feelings out with, I am more than happy to do so. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed, setting your head on Joel’s chest.

You were getting that weird, dormant feeling in you once again. There was an odd warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach, that felt strange and familiar, but most of all, exciting. You had no idea what was going on, or what that feeling was, but you did know that you didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.

And honestly, it didn’t seem like it would.

Two

Walking into Joel’s home to the sound of soft guitar chords made you feel a bit like you had woken up in a dream, or died and gone to heaven. It wasn’t often that you’d heard him play guitar. Sing? Sure! He loved to sing along to a song he liked on the radio, or do karaoke with you and the kids. But playing guitar was something that he seemed to like to keep to himself.

Joel had picked Chloe up from school, as you had an important work event that you’d anticipated going quite late, and as you’d predicted, it was nearly midnight by the time you got to Joel’s place. It was rare for you to see those two alone, without yours or Sarah’s presence, but you’d assumed the latter had gone to bed due to how late it was and the fact that they had school in the morning.

So hearing Joel play for your daughter felt… weird. But a good weird. Like he trusted her enough to be doing something that he often kept under wraps, even for you.

“I love this song!” you heard your daughter exclaim from the living room. You rounded a corner, not quite ready to appear yet, but curious enough to eavesdrop on the scene.

Joel chuckled at her reaction, “should we sing it together?”

“Maybe, I’m not very good, though.”

“I doubt that,” Joel said, continuing to play the introduction to the song on a loop.

“I… fine, I’ll sing.”

The two of them began to sing along to the song, and you could’ve sworn that your heart did an actual flip as you listened. There was something very sweet about the whole scene, of Joel playing a song your daughter loved, of him assuring her that she was good enough, and singing something together.

You should’ve felt bad for listening in on the scene, for invading on a moment that was clearly meant to be private, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to feel that way when your heart was so filled with… something that you couldn’t quite place.

The song came to a soft conclusion, and you figured there was no better time to finally step out from behind the wall than then.

“You guys sounded so good!” you stated as you entered the room.

“Oh hi,” Joel greeted a little awkwardly, looking down at his guitar as if he’d been caught red handed.

“Mom!” Chloe exclaimed, coming over to you and hugging you. “I missed you.”

“We were just killing time while we waited for you to get home. How was work?”

“Eh,” you shrugged, sitting down across from Joel as Chloe curled up next to you. “It was work.”

“Mom, did you know that Joel sings and plays guitar? He’s really good!”

“Really? I didn’t know that,” you acted surprised for your child, but looked mischievously at your partner. It wasn’t often that you had the chance to get Joel to play you something, and you refused to let the opportunity slip away from you. “Can you play me something?”

“He can!” Chloe accepted the offer before Joel could begin to protest. God, was this child your mini-you. “Go ahead, Joel.”

He looked to you as if he needed some sort of excuse to not do it, or encouragement to play (more likely than not, he was looking for an out), but you simply shrugged, far too enthused at the idea of him playing guitar for you.

Just as the man sighed and began to put his fingers to the string, Sarah came down the stairs and plopped herself right next to you.

“You guys are loud,” she stated, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Sorry for waking you up,” you apologized. “You were just about to miss your dad’s concert!”

“Oh good,” Sarah giggled, getting all comfortable next to you as she pulled a blanket over her lap.

“I feel like this is a premeditated attack,” Joel held onto his guitar.

“It’s definitely not. We just want you to share your gift with the world!”

“Alright, fine. Only because I like you guys so much.”

The three of you cheered from the couch as Joel began to play again, the soft acoustic notes of a love song you’d heard a few times before. As Joel played and sang, he looked straight at you, and you couldn’t help but feel like the lyrics were coming straight from his heart to you.

That warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest that you’d become more and more familiar with over the course of your relationship began to reappear as you sat there, the moment a snapshot of the perfect domestic bliss that had become your home life. As you sat with your two favorite children in the world, and your favorite man, you realized that you’d never felt more content in your life.

Three

When you agreed to come to a bar with Joel, you hadn’t expected it to be a quaint little hole-in-the-wall with great live music.

The atmosphere was lively, the drinks were dangerously sweet, and best of all, it was cute watching Joel in his element. Part of you wondered if he ever saw himself up on the stage, playing for a little audience. Although, he was so bashful and shy playing in front of you and the girls that you wondered if he would like it at all.

You finished off your first drink rather quickly, but you were feeling up for another, and prepared to head back to the bar. “Do you want another drink?” you asked Joel over the loud music.

“I’m alright. Thank you, though,” he kissed your cheek, then looked back up at the stage, directing all of his focus there once more.

You made your way back to the bar, where you ordered another fruity drink for yourself and patiently waited for it to be made, humming along to the cover being sung on stage.

Being able to find out more about what Joel liked to spend his time doing was (unsurprisingly) quite nice. While he was vulnerable with his emotions, he was often a little more closed off when it came to sharing his hobbies and interests. You wondered how many of these live shows and open mics he was familiar with, how many local artists he was friends with. Would he ever feel comfortable enough around you to share those things with you? Well, you certainly hoped so.

You looked around with a small smile on your face at the thought of learning more about your partner’s interests. Had he ever been the one up on stage? Maybe before Sarah was born and he was launched straight into the time consuming world of fatherhood. Although, he surely would’ve shared that with you by now.

You were drawn out of thought when eyes landed on a head of hair that looked a little too familiar for your liking.

No.

There was no way.

This bar was definitely not his scene. In fact, if you’d suggested this bar, he would’ve laughed in your face and called you a hipster, before dragging you out to some stuffy restaurant where he’d complain about the portion size of both his meal and the bill.

Your mind was just playing a mean trick on you. You’d had a somewhat stressful week, and sometimes drinking made you the slightest bit paranoid. Besides, it was just someone’s hair. Literally anyone could have that hair color, or hair cut, and although the world was small, it wasn’t that small.

Just as you began to fall headfirst into your nerves, the bartender handed you your drink, and you walked back to Joel, head still in the clouds.

You couldn’t shake that off feeling, even as Joel danced around with you and stole a sip of your drink, both actions bringing a smile to your face, but not quite quelling the growing discomfort in your stomach.

You just needed to go clear your mind and freshen up. At least, that’s what you told yourself before telling Joel to keep your drink safe and power walking to the bathroom.

You stood at the sink, splashing your face with water as cold as the faucets would go. Nathan was not here. You needed to just relax, and enjoy the fun date that Joel had planned. You couldn’t keep letting this man ruin your experiences, even when he wasn’t present.

“You okay, hun?” a voice asked you while your head was bowed over the sink. When you looked up, your eyes nearly popped out of your head, as if you were some ridiculous cartoon character.

Well. Your brain must’ve really been fucking with you today. Or the Universe just really hated you.

Claire, Nathan’s new girlfriend, was asking you if you were alright in the bathroom of a bar that your new boyfriend had suggested.

You were completely unsure of whether she knew who you were or not, although she seemed tipsy enough not to care.

“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled awkwardly at her. “But, uh, my mascara’s a little smudged. Any chance you have a makeup wipe?”

“Yeah!” she said, digging into her purse to check for the item.

You’d never met Claire before, but as far as first impressions went, this one wasn’t too bad. She offered you the wipe, then stood next to you as you dabbed at your under eye.

“You meet anyone fun tonight?” she asked, beginning to touch up her own makeup.

“No, I’m actually here with my partner. He really likes the music,” you said casually, dabbing at the same spot so you could at least attempt to maintain your composure in an otherwise dramatically ironic and tense situation.

“Oh no. Was he the one making you cry?”

“Cry? No! I was sweating. We were dancing,” suddenly, a slightly perverse question crossed your mind. “Does your partner make you cry a lot?”

“How do you even know I have one?” she giggled, sounding less accusatory and more confused.

“I don’t I just-“

“No, not really,” she shrugged as she reapplied her lip liner. “He mostly just buys me shit and spoils me. What would I have to cry about? He’s a really good guy.”

Oh, you remembered that phase. Well, phases. The time after he’d slapped you during an argument immediately came to mind. Nathan could probably teach a seminar on love bombing, then making you feel guilty for having any negative feelings because of all the money he’d spent on you.

“That’s good,” you nodded, tossing the used wipe in the trash and making your way to the door. “Thanks for checking in on me and helping me. Have a good night.”

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” she asked as your hand hit the door.

“No,” you replied promptly, maybe slamming the door behind you a little too hard.

This was a lot to process, and a lot to take in. Despite having a fun time with Joel, you really just wanted to go home. Finding your way back out to him, you silently accepted back your drink and stood besides him stiffly.

“You okay?” he asked, gently grabbing your arm.

“Fine, just… just.. I have an upset stomach,” you explained. You were never a good liar, the concern in Joel’s eyes told you that you hadn’t suddenly become one.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said, rubbing your forearm gently. “Let’s go home, okay?”

You certainly didn’t protest as he began to lead you out of the bar, and you let out a sigh of relief at being able to leave before running into anyone else you knew.

Although, life was never that simple, was it?

As you approached the door, a familiar voice called out your name, sending a chill up your spine. Joel’s head whipped around from where it was coming from, and scowled when he saw who the voice belonged to. Ignoring him, the two of you continued your departure, a newfound urgency in both of your steps.

Once you were outside, you felt yourself puff out a sigh of relief. You’d managed to get out of the bar with only a brief conversation with Claire, and no direct interaction with Nathan. Now, if you could only get home, curl up with Joel on the couch, and tell him the absurd story of how you’d bumped into your ex’s new girlfriend in the bathroom.

But the universe clearly wasn’t letting you off the hook just yet.

“Hey!” Nathan called as he stepped out of the bar, Claire trailing just a few paces behind him. “You’re such a fuckin’ bitch. Can’t even say hi to the father of your child.”

You were almost alarmed by the speed in which Joel marched over to your ex and reprimanded him. Not even wasting a moment, Joel shoved him back—a warning of sorts, with your knowledge that he was certainly holding himself back.

“Leave her the fuck alone,” he barked. It was like no tone you’d ever heard him use before, not when he was upset with anyone, and not even when he was yelling at a referee for a bad call.

“And who the fuck are you?” your ex shot back.

“Does it really matter?” Joel pressed, not backing down despite the slightly shorter man getting in his face. “You’re not gonna go around trying to degrade women.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna stop me, Mr. Nice guy?” Nathan pushed Joel, but your partner barely budged.

“You fuckin’ cuck,” Nathan muttered. “Why do you even care about this whore?”

Nathan took a second to think about it, glancing between the two of you before a light seemed to go off in his little brain.

“Oh, I know. You’re that guy from the soccer games. You two together now?" His condescension was almost jarring to hear, and part of you worried about what your clearly inebriated ex might say or do next. “I see you’re still the community cumrag,” he directed at you.

You hardly had a moment to process what was just said before Joel was swinging, clearly seeing red as he threw a hefty right hook at your ex, leaving a nasty crunching sound as he fell to the ground.

“Don’t talk about her, or any other fucking woman like that ever again,” he squatted down to his level, and grabbed both of his cheeks. “Leave her the fuck alone, you understand me? Or next time you’re gonna wish it was just your nose.”

Nathan cradled his bloody nose and whimpered and Joel walked back to you, the fury on his face melting into something apologetic as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he began, cautiously approaching you as if he was something to be afraid of. “I shouldn’t have done that. I overstepped-“

“Joel. Don’t apologize. Do you know how much that asshole deserved it? You did everyone a favor tonight, but especially me.”

You had never had someone defend you so literally before. Sure, your friends had argued with Nathan a few times on your behalf, but punching Nathan in the face had truly raised your expectations for anyone who claimed to be doing anything to help you. You don’t think you’d have felt this alive or cherished in years.

“Now let’s get you home and ice those knuckles.”

Four

You were usually a big fan of rainy days. The sound of rain pattering against the window or on the roof of your car, and the smell of petrichor on the pavement were sensations you wished you could experience all the time. But today, you weren’t quite so pleased to see the rain.

You’d taken the day off to spend it with Joel, who had specifically asked for you to take some time off to be with him. You couldn’t blame him, as you’d been slightly neglecting him after things picked up once again at work. You’d had a whole outdoorsy day planned, with a morning hike, a visit to a conservatory, and a picnic at one of your favorite local parks. Unfortunately, none of those activities could be done comfortably in the pouring rain.

Instead, you opted to come back to your place after you dropped your kids off at school, and have a domestic little day-in.

After putting some homemade cinnamon rolls into the oven, the two of you found yourselves on your couch, comfortably sitting together and reading your own books while the smell of warm cinnamon filled your house.

Occasionally, you glanced out your window, the scene of rain granting you a sense of serenity. At one point, you noticed Joel’s gaze out the window as well, and you couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Don’t you just love the rain?” you asked, setting your book down on your coffee table. It was more of an excuse to break the silence than an actual comment, but you said it regardless.

“It’s nice,” he agreed, his tone oddly somber for a comment on the rain.

“You okay, big guy?” you asked before moving closer to Joel.

“I’m alright,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. There wasn’t any real concrete evidence that something was off, but something inside you told you that something definitely was off.

“You sure?” you asked, squeezing his bicep.

“Yeah, it’s just,” he paused, looking down at his book as if he was about to go right back to reading instead of telling you the issue. After a moment of hesitation, he spoke once more, “it’s the anniversary of Diane leaving.”

Oh. So that’s why he’d asked to be with you today.

You’d never heard Joel say her name before. Sure, you’d seen her name written under a polaroid or two, but you’d never heard Joel reference her ever. Now that you thought about it, you didn’t really know what their deal was. Amicable exes? Divorcees? Was Joel a widower? You felt awful that you’d gone this far into a relationship and still didn’t know anything about his last significant one.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, not completely sure how to react. You mainly wanted to get a gauge on Joel’s reaction–just how upset was he? Did he want to talk about it? Or just get the importance of the day out in the open?

“It’s just… Today feels like that day in a lot of ways.”

You nodded slowly, still not exactly sure of how to approach the situation. You thought back to all of the times he’d been there to support you when you were having a rough day, and ended up asking aloud, “is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Maybe just listening, if that’s okay. It helps to talk about it,” he paused. “The rolls smell done. I’ll go get them,” with that, he was off to the kitchen, barely giving you time to react, or even protest his departure.

He clearly wanted to talk, but just wasn’t completely ready to do so at that moment. You could listen. You could be the best damn listener on the planet if that was what Joel needed from you. No matter what he revealed to you today, you were determined to make Joel feel comfortable, and know that whatever he was going through, he wasn’t alone—just as he’d shown you in the past.

By the time he came back to the living room, Joel offered you a plate with an iced cinnamon roll and acted like everything was normal. He sat back down next to you, stole a bite from your plate, then buried his nose right back into his novel.

You respected his right to process his emotions in any way he saw fit. All you could do was be a good partner, and offer whatever he needed from you to feel better, like he’d done for you so many times before.

While you were fine with spending your day cuddled up on the sofa and reading, you were also aware that there were a good amount of house chores that were calling your name. Upon mentioning these tasks, Joel insisted on helping out, which was how you two landed in the laundry room, laughing at something stupid that had happened to you this week.

While you loaded light clothes into your washer, Joel suddenly caught you off guard with a question that was a far cry from the banter you’d just been having only moments before.

“Is it… are you okay with me talking about it?”

By it you could only assume he meant the giant elephant of a woman in the room.

“Of course,” you turned to him, offering sympathetic eyes.

“She left just a few months after Sarah was born,” Joel busied himself by pouring out laundry detergent and fabric softeners. “I just woke up one morning to an empty bed and a note in the kitchen saying she was leaving, she wasn’t coming back, and not to look for her.”

You were taken aback by the cruelty of such an abrupt ending, especially with such a young infant. You couldn’t imagine being put in those circumstances so unexpectedly.

Joel casually poured the respective liquids into their proper places in the machine, then turned it on. “It was a day just like this. The nursery had a nice, big window that we put a rocking chair in front of. Sarah liked looking at the stars when she was younger, it always helped to calm her down. I remember holding her in that chair and bawling my eyes out while she cried too, and with all the rain against the window… it felt like the Earth was crying right along with us.”

You weren’t sure what to say or how to react, but it seemed like Joel was prepared to move right on, quickly changing the subject as he led you out of the laundry room.

Baking cinnamon rolls had left a lot of dishes in the sink, but luckily for you, you had an extra set of hands to help you out. Joel was on rinsing duty, and you were on loading.

You quickly found your rhythm, as you often did with partnered tasks. You worked quietly while loading the dishes, letting the music from your speaker fill up the silence, but it was obvious Joel was lost in thought.

Eventually, he quietly began to speak again, “I kept trying to make sense of her leaving. I knew that postpartum depression hit her really hard, and that she was barely sleeping at night because of how often Sarah was crying. Sarah was a really sensitive, fussy baby. She’d told me how she’d felt a few times, and I always kinda thought things would just pass. Every new parent hits that roadbump where they just can’t see themselves doing this thing forever, right? Then, she just left. I thought maybe she just needed a few days away, and that she’d be back. But days went by, then weeks, then it had been a month, and it was still just Sarah and I.”

“Did she ever come back around?” you asked, setting down the last dish into the sink, then closing the machine.

“Never heard from her again.”

You closed the distance between you and the man, wrapping him in as tight of a hug that you could manage.

“I’m so sorry,” you muttered into his shirt as he melted into your embrace. “I can’t even imagine how painful and stressful that was.”

As a mother, you couldn’t imagine abandoning your child; the tiny human being you spent nine months carrying, and would spend a lifetime loving. But as a human, you understood the stress of being the parent of a newborn. Waking up every few hours because your baby is crying and you’ve tried everything to get her to stop but she just… won’t. Paired with postpartum depression, which you were no stranger to, you could understand the circumstances that led Diane to feeling like she had no other option but to leave. But that didn’t, in any way, make it the right thing to do.

As you held Joel, a sound you hadn’t ever heard from him escaped his lips, wracking his body. A guttural cry that had clearly been trapped deep inside of him for the longest time had suddenly escaped as he recalled an event that had clearly changed his life.

You stood in the kitchen holding him for what felt like forever, when he finally pulled away, wiping his face a little bit.

“Thank you,” was all that he managed to get out.

You laid next to him in bed after a rather emotionally loaded session of lovemaking, trying to catch your breath as the two of you recovered from the underlying emotional and physical aftermath of your fornication. As Joel spooned you, a question lingered on your mind.

“Do you still love her?” you asked, keeping your eyes forward on the wall. You wanted to say you were sure he had moved on, but these types of situations were rather nuanced. There were just some bonds that regardless of time or circumstances, people continued to hold on to.

“No,” he answered clearly. “I don’t hate her, either. I guess I just understand her. But that doesn’t make what she put me or Sarah through any better.”

You slipped your hand down to where his were currently laying on your stomach, and you set one on top of his.

“I’m not jealous, I’m just curious. Do you ever miss her?”

“I used to,” he sighed, the close breath blowing some hairs on your neck. “I don’t anymore.”

Eventually, your laundry was dry, meaning you two needed to get out of bed and get to folding.

“She has a new family, now,” he said out of the blue, as he folded up a pair of your pajama pants. “Husband, kids, dog, the full nine yards. Tommy found her Facebook a few years ago, but I still haven’t looked. I don’t really know why.”

You didn’t really know why either, but you knew exactly the feeling he was experiencing. Seeing your ex who you’d invested so much into and had a child with move on with someone was a particularly gut wrenching feeling. You could only imagine how much worse it was in Joel’s scenario, where Diane had abandoned him and their child, yet had a child and built another family elsewhere.

“Does Sarah know?” you asked, putting a blouse onto a hanger.

“Bits and pieces. She kinda just accepted that her mom’s not in the picture, but doesn’t know why she left or anything about her mom’s new family,” Joel finished up with his basket, then began to help you with yours. “Maybe when she’s older. Old enough to understand that it isn’t her fault and that these things just… happen sometimes.”

“I guess,” you frowned as you grabbed your last article of clothing and hung it up. “It shouldn’t have happened, though. Neither of you deserved to be abandoned.”

“It was gonna happen one way or another,” Joel shrugged, putting your baskets away. “Our relationship had been on the rocks even before Diane became pregnant. If it wasn’t then, it would be later. I’m just glad it happened early enough that Sarah doesn’t remember. You in the mood for a coffee?”

His words gave you a bit of whiplash, but you accepted the offer of a warm drink regardless.

You sat at your table, stirring your drink as Joel sat down across from you.

“Good, right?” he asked. “I think I’ve officially nailed the way you like your coffee.”

“It’s pretty good,” you admitted, taking a sip from a mug that Chloe had decorated in her school’s art class.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good. It is one,” you hummed.

It was clear that his mood was slightly improving the more that he talked about his experience. You wondered just how much of this information he’d shared with anyone else before you, as he told the story as if he were confessing something for the first time ever.

“I’ve never told anyone this much about it,” he confessed. “I’m glad that of all the people I could’ve told, it ended up being you.”

“Joel, I,” the words popped into your head, but died on your tongue. “I care about you so much. I know this can’t be easy to talk about, so thank you for sharing this with me,” you squeezed his hands across the table.

“Thank you for being so supportive. I also care about you a lot. So much that it scares me. Especially knowing that you could lose everything in a literal night,” he admitted.

“Oh Joel,” you said softly. “I’m also scared. I’m always so scared that I’ll lose you and Sarah and this little blended family we’ve made. But if that’s the price I pay for… caring about you so much, I’m okay with being afraid.”

Joel looked at you like he had something to say, but instead sat there quietly for a moment, processing your words. “Do you want to watch an episode of The Bachelorette?”

“Is that even a question? C’mon,” you stood up.

The two of you cuddled up on the couch once again, this time with a much lighter feeling in the room, partially due to what Joel had confessed to you, and partially due to the absolutely ridiculous content playing on your television.

“I’m sad that I had to go through what I had to go through, but I’m glad that it led me to you,” Joel said out of the blue, resting his forehead against yours.

You were glad that he found you too.

Five

It wasn’t every day that the forces of the universe seemed to be on your side, but for some reason, today was one of those days.

When you’d been called into your boss’ office that morning, a pit formed in your stomach. You’d figured that the day you were going to be laid off was coming, especially following the whole promotion fiasco. As you walked into her office, you fully intended to be walking out without a job.

Except, that wasn’t what happened. You had been promoted, and promoted into a position even higher than the one you’d previously been gunning after.

Once you found out, you had to fight the urge to skip out of your boss’s office, singing and dancing with joy. Instead, you fought that urge by closing the door to your office, and calling Joel.

“Hey honey, what’s up?” he answered casually.

“Joel, they promoted me! And it’s an even better position than what I was trying to get before!” you squealed.

Joel cheered from over the phone, making you somehow smile even harder. “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than you.”

“Oh my god, stop it,” you giggled, putting your hands up to your warm cheeks.

“No, I’m serious,” Joel countered. “I know a lot of hard workers, and none of them work as hard as you. You’ve sacrificed so much to get here and it’s finally paid off.”

“Thank you, Joel,” you had more to say, but you decided to keep it to yourself. Mainly, how did you get so lucky to end up with a man like him?

“Are you busy tonight?” he asked.

“I’m just dropping Chloe off at my mom’s, then I should be free for the evening. Why?”

“Why don’t you come over to my place so we can celebrate? You picked the right time to get a promotion. Sarah’s going to her uncle’s for the weekend.”

“Sounds good to me,” you hummed. “I’ll text you when I’m heading over.”

“Alright. Again, congratulations! So proud.”

You hung up and attempted to get back to work, but you were far too excited to focus for too long. You somehow made it to the end of the work day and to Joel’s house without spontaneously combusting from joy.

When you walked in, you were immediately met with the smells of one of your favorite candles, mixed with the mouthwatering scent of fragrant coming from the kitchen.

“Joel, I’m home!” you announced, making your way to the kitchen only to find it very dressed up. The lights were dimmed, a crisp white table cloth rested on the table, and a gorgeous arrangement of flowers sat in a vase in the middle of the table, right next to a rather nice looking bottle of champagne.

Joel was finishing up plating something spectacular as you came in. “Please, have a seat,” he directed. You didn’t need to be told twice.

With the arrangement of the table, you almost felt like you were sitting at a fancy little restaurant, but better, knowing all the effort Joel had put into making the table look this way. He brought over two plates, set one over at his seat and one in front of you, before leaning down and kissing you gently.

“Congratulations. I am so, so, so proud of you,” he said after finally pulling away, reaching for the bottle of champagne on the table.

“If anyone in the world deserves good things,” he turned away from you so that he could safely pop the bottle. “It’s you. I’m glad you’re finally getting the recognition that you deserve.”

With the bottle opened, he poured you out a glass, then poured himself some. You lifted up your glass and Joel mirrored you.

“Cheers,” you said with a grin, tapping your glasses together, then taking a sip. Once you finished drinking, Joel leaned in for one more kiss before he situated himself back into his chair.

“I think you deserve a promotion from best boyfriend in the world to best boyfriend in the universe,” you softly laughed, looking down at your plate.

“Do I? I think anyone would celebrate the person they…” he paused for just a split second, and you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t paying such close attention. “The person they’re sharing their life with if they made a big accomplishment like this.”

“Honey, you’d be very surprised. I can think of at least one person who would view this promotion as a bad thing.”

“Well, don’t think about them right now. This is an amazing thing, and we’re celebrating you today. Not an insecure man with a Napoleon complex and a small penis.”

You laughed out loud, nearly choking on a bubbly sip of champagne.

“You’re right,” you picked up your fork and knife, reading to dig into the amazing looking meal in front of you. “Thank you for this, Joel. You always make me feel so appreciated and cherished. You’re truly one of a kind.”

He shook his head bashfully at the compliment, eating right along with you. It was almost cute how he never seemed to accept compliments, but certainly deserved them more than basically any other person that you knew.

“You always show me how much you care about me. It’s only fair that I do the same.”

“You’re so romantic,” you sighed. “How can I guarantee that I can keep you around forever?”

“Just keep being you, I guess. That’s all I’ve really ever wanted.”

How did you get so lucky? How did you manage to hit the jackpot on men with Joel, almost let it slip through your fingers not once, but twice, and still managed to end up with one of your favorite people in the world?

However it ended up happening, you certainly weren’t mad at it, and as you sat together, you hoped for things never to change.

Plus One

Given that you practically lived at each other’s homes now, you often spent your mornings together getting ready to take on the day. It was cute how you both had your own little routines and were able to coexist in a tiny little space.

Today, you stood in Joel’s bathroom, washing your face as the mirror across from you began to become progressively more foggy from the heat of Joel’s shower.

“My hair is gonna be so frizzy,” you muttered to yourself as you rubbed moisturizer into your skin.

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to come in here with me,” Joel shot back from the shower, turning the water off.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, getting back to work on your face as Joel dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist.

“You’re so cute when you’re grumpy in the morning,” he commented as he approached you, standing next to you at the sink.

“I am not grumpy,” you argued, then paused once Joel gave you a very disbelieving expression. “Fine. I can get a little irritable in the morning. Especially when someone’s boiling hot showers make my hair get all frizzy.”

“I wonder who that someone is?” Joel looked around the room in faux confusion.

“Ugh, shut up. You are such a dad,” you fought back laughter, but you couldn’t really help the smile that appeared on your lips.

“Shutting up,” Joel acknowledged, grabbing his razor and some shaving cream to touch up some of his facial hair. You began to brush your teeth, focusing on yourself in the mirror to make sure that you were making your dentist proud.

Your eyes eventually migrated and were meeting Joel’s in the mirror. You flashed him a big, foamy grin, and he immediately broke into hysterics, setting the razor down so he didn’t cut himself while laughing so hard.

“Really?” he asked between laughs. “While I’m shaving?”

“Sorry,” you shrugged with a self-satisfied smirk.

“You are such a dork,” Joel sighed as he calmed himself down, leaning against the counter as he began to work on shaving his face once more. “Ugh, I love you,” the words seemed to come out of his mouth involuntarily, if the horrified look on his face told you anything.

It seemed like the whole house stopped after Joel said it, the dripping from the showerhead ceasing, the faint buzz of the air conditioner nowhere to be found, and the noises of your children downstairs coming to a halt.

You were shocked at the admission, and Joel seemed to be shocked that he’d said anything.

Now that he’d mentioned it, you really did love Joel. You loved how he supported you, and how he treated your daughter like she was his own. You loved that he wasn’t afraid to fight for what he believed in, especially when that included socking your ex in the face. You loved his ability to be vulnerable with you, and the way that he seemed to always know what to say at the right time. You loved knowing that no matter how shitty of a day you’d had, Joel would always be there, ready to order your favorite foods and spoon you while decompressing with the worst, most trashy reality TV you could find.

You’d spent all this time thinking that you’d never experience romantic love again, that romantic love was tumultuous and exhausting, when you’d been in love with Joel the whole time.

You were one of those people who were meant to love and be loved. Joel had proven that much to you.

“I love you too,” you confessed, toothpaste still obstructing your mouth.

Maybe love wasn't so bad after all.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #soccer parents au

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theblondesimmer · 1 year

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THE SOULMATE COLLECTION - THEBLONDESIMMER X CHEWYBUTTERFLY I am so excited to share the collection @chewybutterfly and I have been working on for Valentines day! This collection is full of cute make-up items perfect for your Sims's Valentines day (or love day) looks! My part includes 3 eyeshadows (XOXO / 143 / The One Eyeshadows), 1 eyeliner (Soulmate Eyeliner), and a blush (Love Always Blush / 3 versions). 💘Get my part HERE! / Get Chewybutterfly's part HERE!💘 👇🏼 More information under the cut. 👇🏼

INFO: ♥ XOXO Eyeshadow - 5 swatches

♥ 143 Eyeshadow - 12 swatches

♥ The One Eyeshadow - 12 swatches

♥ Soulmate Eyeliner - 6 swatches

♥ Love Always Blush - 4 swatches per version

♥ Do NOT reupload or claim as your own

♥ ALL genders, teen - elder

♥ Base game compatible

♥ Compatible with sliders

♥ Custom thumbnail

♥ Tested on different skintones

♥ Photos were taken with my Reshade (CRISPR 2.0 - check it out HERE!) If you use any of these items on your sims, please use the tag #theblondesimmer or @the.blondesimmer! I would LOVE to see it! Please check out my other socials - Instagram | Youtube | Twitter | Tumblr | TikTok If you have any issues, please message me! 😊 I hope you enjoy it! 💕

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writingwithciara · 5 months

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18 (Part 2) ~Matt Sturniolo~

summary: back in la, things start heading south for y/n & matt while a little bit of jealousy drives y/n into the arms of chris

word count: 10.4k (longest thing i've ever written. holy)

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader, brief chris sturniolo x fem!reader

notes: i wasn’t sure i wanted to write another part of ‘18’ but i had an idea the other night and had to write it. wasn't aware it was going to fit with ‘18’ but i’m happy it did. insecurity, jealousy & swearing throughout. toxic matt & sweet chris. a few suggestive moments & allusions to sexual content, smut at the end. enjoy!

part 1 !

masterlist

as soon as y/n and matt walked through the door to the triplets house 3 days later, chris was attacking them with questions. matt ignored every single one of them and went straight to his room. chris looked at y/n hoping she had an answer but all she did was shrug.

“he was like that the entire plane ride. don't know what’s wrong with him.” she sighed and sat down on the couch. chris took the seat next to her and resumed the tv show he had been watching.

“he’s normally moody. wouldn't worry too much about him. he’ll snap out of it eventually.” chris took a moment to look at his friend. “did anything happen in miami that could’ve caused this mood?”

“not that i can remember. everything was great while we were there. and even after we kissed, everything seemed to be perfect between us.” y/n shook her head.

“you guys actually kissed?!?” chris nearly yelled, pausing his show and giving her his full attention. “i knew it. nick owes me 10 bucks.”

“chris, now is not the time to be thinking about that.” y/n sighed. “what if matt only said all those sweet things and kissed me because it was christmas? what if he only did it because my dad had just proposed to crystal and he was caught up in the moment?”

“y/n, i’m sure that’s not why he kissed you.” chris looked up at her with sad eyes. “he’s just being stupid right now. it will definitely blow over.”

“i hope you’re right because valentine’s day is coming up soon and i was hoping that matt and i would be doing something that day. something romantic.”

“if he doesn’t snap out of his mattitude soon, if worst comes to worst, i’ll be your matt replacement for the evening.”

“i appreciate the offer, chris. thank you.” y/n let out a small chuckle and looked at the tv.

“anytime.” he looked at his phone quickly before turning his show off. “it’s getting late and i'm heading to bed. nick is gone for the night so you can sleep in his room if you want. but you are more than welcome to come crash in my room if you don’t feel like being alone tonight.”

“okay.” y/n grabbed her phone and followed chris downstairs to his room. chris sat in his chair and faced the bed.

“if you want, we can play some fortnite or something. shooting things might help take your mind off of matt for a while.” chris picked up his controller. “you up for it?”

“sure. why not?” y/n pulled his extra chair over and looked at the screen. “i wish matt was as easy to read as you or nick.”

“what do you mean?” chris opened the game and looked at y/n. “you think that i’m easy to read?”

“well, easier than matt. i can mostly tell what you’re thinking at any given moment.”

“okay. what am i thinking of right now?”

“you’re thinking that i'm a better fortnite player than you, obviously.” y/n smiled.

“wow. lucky guess.” chris rolled his eyes playfully and started a match. as they took turns playing, y/n’s worries about matt began to fade. she focused on taking out as many opponents as she could while chris watched in amazement. after a few hours of playing, chris pointed out it was nearly 4 am. “we should probably get some sleep. that jet lag should be hitting you soon.”

“you’re right.” y/n stood up and took her spot on the left side of chris’ bed. he quickly joined her on the right side and plugged both of their phones into the chargers.

“see you in a few hours, y/n.” chris yawned and quickly passed out after. y/n stayed awake for another half hour before she dozed off herself.

around 7 am, matt was in the kitchen getting some water when he nearly tripped over y/n’s suitcase. he thought she had gone home but realized how late they got back to la and went to check nick’s room for her. when she wasn’t in his bed, he began to panic. then he remembered that y/n and chris liked to play fortnite together. so he ventured down to chris’ bedroom and opened the door as quietly as he could.

chris' arm was placed delicately across y/n’s waist and she was snuggled up close to him, essentially being the little spoon to chris’ big spoon. matt swore he could feel his heart break at the sight. he slowly closed the door and headed back to his room, his thoughts taking over and keeping him from going back to sleep.

a few hours later, y/n stretched and looked behind her. at some point in the night, she and chris had moved into a cuddling position and although it wasn’t a rare thing, she felt guilty. part of her knew that if matt had seen them, he would be heartbroken and she couldn’t deal with that. she felt chris’ arm move slowly as he began to wake up. y/n turned to face him and smiled.

“good morning.” he returned the smile and removed his arm from her waist completely. “sleep alright?”

“yeah.” she sat up and pulled the sleeves of her shirt down to cover her hands. “i still feel a bit upset about the whole matt thing though. he keeps running through my mind and i hate that.”

“don’t waste all your energy trying to solve the mystery that is matthew sturniolo.” chris sat up and looked at y/n. “he’s my brother and i still haven’t quite figured it out yet.”

“i suppose you’re right.” y/n moved herself off the bed and grabbed her phone. “i should head back to my apartment soon and unpack. i'll stop by later though, okay?”

“yeah. alright.” chris grabbed a shirt and followed her out of his room. “um, do you want a ride home?”

“well seeing how you can’t drive and the only other person in the house who can is matt, i think i’ll pass.”

“i can ask matt & if you think it’s going to be awkward, i can come with you guys.”

“it’s fine, chris. i only live a few blocks away. i've made the walk before.”

“yeah but you never had to do it with a large, heavy suitcase.” chris pleaded with her and when she sighed, he knew she was about to give in.

“i hate when you’re right.” y/n went to lift her suitcase but almost fell over. “i really hate it.”

matt wasn’t as willing to drive her home as chris was hoping but he did it anyway just so he would have time to think without her around.

when y/n walked into her apartment, the first thing she did was facetime nick. his bright smiling face appeared and even though he reminded her of matt, y/n couldn’t help but smile back.

“hey. you back in la?”

“yeah. we got back last night and i crashed at your place. i was really sad you weren’t there.” y/n sighed and looked around her apartment.

“i know. but I’ll make it up to you later when you come back over.” he paused for a second after taking in her expression. it was pensive. “you are coming back over, aren’t you?”

“i don’t know, nick. things have been really weird between me and matt since we got on the plane.” y/n sighed. “i did promise chris that i would come back later.”

“then it’s settled. and if things seem awkward with matt, chris and i will act as buffers.”

“i love you, nick.” y/n smiled at her best friend. he didn’t even have to ask what happened or why it was all of a sudden awkward. he believed her wholeheartedly, without question.

“i love you too.” he offered her a kind smile. “so i’ll see you later?”

“yeah. about an hour or two. still gotta have a shower and unpack.” y/n glanced over at her suitcase and sighed. the memories of the trip filling every vacant part of her brain. “talk to you later, nick.”

“can’t wait.” nick smiled and hung up. y/n set her phone on the coffee table and headed to the bathroom. while the warm water washed over her, she thought back to the last day of the trip

matt and y/n were sitting with brooke and jackson on the lounge chairs around the pool. matt’s hand rested gently on y/n’s thigh as he talked to jackson. brooke was on the other side of y/n and she was observing everything matt did to show affection to y/n. she gently nudged her cousins shoulder and pulled her attention away from matt.

“what’s up, brooke?”

“your boyfriend is perfect. just thought i would let you know.” brooke beamed. “he’s hot, funny, sweet & most importantly, he treats you like an absolute princess. and an added bonus is he gets along with every member of our family. that's almost impossible.”

“he’s pretty perfect, i suppose.” y/n nodded and faced matt, only to find him already staring at her.

“hey.”

“hey.” y/n smiled and it felt like they were the only two there.

“when did you want to head back to the hotel?”

“after dinner. dad and crystal are making my favorite meal.” y/n played with the necklace around her neck.

back at the hotel that night, y/n was stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her body when matt decided to walk right in.

“matt!”

“sorry. thought you were dressed already.” he turned around and left the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door. just as y/n reached for the handle, matt came back. “for what it’s worth, you look amazing.”

“matthew bernard!” y/n pushed him out of the bathroom and got dressed quickly. she got in her bed and faced matt’s direction. “i can never thank you enough for coming with me this week, you know.”

“you don’t have to thank me. it was a lot of fun.” he smiled widely and placed his phone down on the nightstand between the beds. “we’ve been sharing the same bed all week so why are you over in that bed?”

“not quite sure.” y/n glanced over at him. “instinct i guess.”

“well is it okay if i join you over there?” matt looked at her hopefully. she nodded and matt wasted no time climbing into the bed behind her. he cautiously placed his arm over her waist, doing his best not to put too much pressure on the situation.

y/n noticed his behavior and placed her hand over his much larger one, turning her head just enough to see the awkward half-smile on matt’s face.

“you okay with this?” matt whispered into her ear. y/n felt a shiver crawl down her spine at the thought of how close they were. instead of focusing on that, y/n began to play with the rings on matt’s fingers. she nodded in response to his question and felt him loosen up a bit. he got as close as he possibly could and placed a soft kiss just beneath her ear.

“matt.” her voice came out as more of a soft moan than the intended whisper. matt smirked to himself and placed more kisses on her neck, causing her to to pull her bottom lip between her teeth. the hand that was resting over her waist began to wander her body but matt stopped when y/n turned to face him.

“i’m sorry. i should’ve checked with you to make sure that was alright.” He began to stumble over his words so y/n shut him up with a kiss. as their lips molded together perfectly, y/n took matt’s bottom lip between her own, causing him to groan. something stirred inside y/n for the first time and her confidence took over. she climbed onto his lap and deepened the kiss as he held her hips tightly.

the kiss went way beyond the confines of their friendship and even though they had admitted their feelings the day before, it still felt like uncharted territory.

matt's hands moved from their place on y/n’s waist to just beneath the bottom of her shirt. or rather, his shirt that she had managed to steal from him at some point in time. his fingers danced delicately on the bare skin, causing y/n to shudder a little bit. matt pulled away from the kiss and raised an eyebrow.

“you alright?”

“yeah but your fingers are cold.” y/n hid her face in the crook of matt’s neck, gently placing a kiss there. she then rolled off his lap and pulled herself into him. matt didn’t question the sudden change. instead, he opted for holding y/n as close as possible and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “good night, matt.”

the water in the shower was nearly ice cold by the time y/n was finished. and when she got out, she realized that maybe part of matt’s sudden mood change was her fault.

she got dressed and headed out to her car. there were so many things she needed to talk to matt about.

when she got to the house, she knocked hard and waited. matt answered the door and silently let her inside.

“matt, can we talk?”

he ignored her question and headed to the kitchen. “chris is in the shower right now and nick still isn’t home. you're free to hang out here until one of them returns. i'll be in my room.” matt turned away from her and headed down the hall. but y/n wasn’t about to give up. she stepped between him and the door, causing him to sigh in annoyance.

“you can’t just ignore me, matt.” she followed him as he turned to head back to the kitchen. “we need to have a serious conversation and you need to stop acting like a child.”

“how am i acting like the child?” he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, sipping on the root beer he had pulled from the fridge.

“matt, seriously?” y/n mirrored his position and pinched the bridge of her nose. “this is ridiculous. you're ignoring me and acting like nothing happened in miami.”

“well that’s because nothing happened.” matt shrugged casually and looked at her.

“really? you're still going to act like this?” y/n scoffed. “matt, we had a really heated moment and then it was over. how can you say nothing happened?”

“because it didn’t.” he sighed. “look, you can live in your little delusion all you want but i'm sticking with the facts.”

“so what? the kisses meant nothing?” she grabbed his shoulder and forced him to face her. “tell me they meant absolutely nothing to you and i'll leave it alone.” she searched his eyes for an answer and when all she got was silence, she felt tears begin to fall. her hand dropped from its position on his shoulder and she took a step back. “silence is all the confirmation i needed. see you around, matt.” y/n grabbed her keys from the counter and began heading for the door.

chris had finished his shower and was on his way up when he heard the argument taking place. he froze on the stairs until he heard y/n’s voice crack. he could tell she was crying and he wanted to punch matt for the silence. y/n said goodbye and chris could hear her footsteps heading down the front stairs. he emerged from his spot and went after his best friend, not sparing a glance matt’s way as he followed y/n out to her car.

“y/n, stop what you’re doing. you are not about to leave in this state. i refuse to let that happen.”

“i need to leave, chris.” y/n leaned her head on the car door and sobbed. “how can he say that the kisses meant nothing?”

“well, he never actually said they didn’t.” chris pointed out, earning a glare from y/n.

“the silence was all i needed to hear, chris.” y/n turned to lean her back against the door. she slid down until she was sitting on the driveway. chris sat next to her and sighed.

“i told you my brother was an idiot, y/n.”

“chris, in case you haven’t noticed, i'm not in the mood for an i told you so.” y/n almost snapped until she saw his face. she hardly ever raised her voice and it was never towards him. “i'm sorry. i-i didn’t mean to yell.”

“it’s okay. you should let it out. get angry.”

“i am not going to take my anger out on you, chris.” y/n smiled and chris saw it.

“i got you to smile!” he clapped his hands together excitedly. “if you want, we can go to a rage room.”

“i think i just want to go to your room and play some fortnite.” y/n bumped his shoulder and stood up. chris took her outstretched hand and ushered her back inside. he took her keys from him and they both headed down to his bedroom.

from his own room, matt could her them laughing whenever they killed an enemy player. little snip-its of their conversation could also be heard and it caused matt’s blood to boil. he shouldn’t be feeling this way, considering how he had just treated y/n not even 10 minutes ago.

a few more hours went by before nick came home. at this point in time, y/n and chris were in the living room laughing at a stupid movie they picked. when y/n saw nick, she jumped off the couch and hugged him.

“oh how i missed you. really glad you and chris didn’t kill each other while we were gone or else i would be forced to live a life without my 2 favorite people in the world.” she squeezed nick tightly and chris joined the hug.

“it wasn’t easy because chris is very annoying.” nick chuckled. chris punched his arm and almost fell backwards. y/n caught his arm and smiled.

“easy there, chris.”

“guess you could say i'm falling for you.” chris shot a smirk her way at the exact moment matt emerged from his room. the air around the group suddenly became heavy and quiet.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he questioned. y/n was staring at her feet while chris sent a glare his brothers way. nick had a sense of what had happened but didn’t want to ask any questions so he just looked anywhere else. “fine. don't answer me.”

“wasn’t planning on it.” chris spit out. matt grabbed a can of root beer from the fridge and looked around the room quickly before turning his attention to nick.

“remember how we were going to film a vlog on valentines day since none of us had plans?”

“yeah what about it?” nick shook his head and looked at y/n.

“turns out i have a date that night so i will be unavailable to film.” matt smirked and y/n wanted to slap that stupid look off his face. the only person he should’ve made plans with that night was her. she scooted closer to chris without even thinking.

“really?”

“yup.”

“who with?”

“madi.” he turned and headed back to his room. nick stood in his spot, completely speechless. chris put his arm around y/n’s shoulder and rubbed her arm.

“what the fuck?” she muttered under her breath, her voice beginning to crack. chris removed his arm and stood in front of her while nick took his place. they were trying their best to comfort her but the gestures weren’t working. y/n felt like her heart had been ripped out twice in one day.

“that’s it. you and i are definitely making plans now.” chris pulled her in for a hug, feeling extremely protective of his best friend. “i promise to make that kid regret his choices today.”

“how do you plan on doing that, chris?”

“gonna do everything for you that he should be doing. i'll write you love letters and shower you with gifts all day.”

“you don’t have to.” y/n tugged at the sleeves of the sweater she was wearing.

“i know i don’t have to. but i want to. i promised you earlier that i would be your matt replacement for the night, remember?”

“of course.” y/n looked up at him and smiled. he always knew how to pull her out of the worst moods.

“kinda wish i had been here earlier so i would know the full story.” nick shook his head and went up to his own room. y/n and chris went down to his room and played fortnite for a few hours.

after what felt like the 50th round, y/n stood up and stretched her body. chris averted his gaze out of respect when the sweater she was wearing rose up a little, revealing the small sun tattoo she got with nick last summer.

“i should get going. thanks for making today a little better for me.”

“you don’t have to thank me. you’re my best friend and i was just doing what any good friend would do.”

“well you’re the best friend in the entire world, chris.” y/n smiled and ruffled his hair playfully. “i love you.”

“love you too.” he smiled widely before checking his phone. “wanna stay for dinner? i was going to order a pizza. pepperoni, your favorite. we could even sit in the living room and watch your favorite movie.”

“you had me at dinner.” y/n ran up to the living room and laid on the couch. chris lifted her legs and placed them in his lap. matt walked out of his room, saw the way they were sitting together on the couch and rolled his eyes before looking down at his phone.

“hey matt. i'm ordering pizza for dinner.” chris didn’t look towards the kitchen as he informed his brother of their dinner plans.

“okay cool.” matt glanced up from his phone long enough to see chris place his hand just above y/n’s right knee. they were always affectionate with each other and matt knew there was no attraction between them so why was this bothering him so much? “i'll be in my room facetiming madi. come get me when the pizza gets here.” he nodded in their direction and went to his room. he wasn’t going to be facetiming anyone. he only said that to get a rise out of y/n. and judging by the way he saw her tense up, he knew it had worked.

y/n waited until she heard matt’s door shut completely before speaking again. “chris, do you think matt likes madi?” her fingers played with the strings of her hoodie as she spoke.

“i doubt it. but who knows with him?” chris focused on y/n as she began fidgeting in her spot. she was laser focused on the strings.

“am i only good enough when we’re not in la?” she glanced up at chris and felt like crying. chris noticed her intake of breath and his hand began tracing circles on her thigh. slow at first but speeding up every 5 seconds. it was the most effective way to calm her down.

“stop talking nonsense. you're more than good enough everywhere, y/n. matt is just being ridiculous.”

“i think his sudden shift in mood is because of what happened on our last night in miami.”

“what happened on the last night?” chris raised an eyebrow as y/n dove into the story. she explained how they almost hooked up and why she stopped it. chris didn’t judge her. he understood everything.

over the next week, whenever y/n was over at the house, chris would make sure to hand her little love notes when matt was around. he also called her every pet name he could think of. and did the bare minimum of what a ‘boyfriend’ should do.

every day, matt observed their interactions and with each passing day, he started to regret trying to make y/n jealous of madi. he wanted to be the one to write y/n notes and he wanted to be the one she adored endlessly. but he was too blinded by his own jealousy to realize what he had given up.

it came to the point where whenever y/n was at the house, which was pretty much all the time, he would have to stay in his room until she ended up in chris’ room for the night or went home. 9 times out of 10 she stayed overnight & it almost made matt sick seeing her with chris.

at some point in their little charade, the love letters chris gave y/n to feel real. to him, at least. he knew that the way he was feeling was wrong but he was so mad at his brother that he didn’t care about moving in on his girl.

one night, while y/n was laying on his bed in his fresh love crewneck & scrolling through tiktok, chris couldn’t help himself. he ended his game and laid beside her. he moved a piece of her hair out of her eyes and carefully placed it behind her ear. this little action drew y/n’s attention away from her phone, causing her gaze to go elsewhere, meeting the blue eyes she adored.

“hey.” she smiled, causing chris to blush profusely. “that’s really cute.”

“what is?”

“the way you’re blushing. and all because i smiled at you.” y/n kissed the tip of his nose and smiled again.

“you’re the cutest human being alive.” chris tried hiding the blush that crept up on his cheeks but y/n noticed it and held his face.

“excuse me but do i look like a fucking mirror, christopher? because how can i be the cutest human being alive when you also exist?” she looked into eyes and smiled at him again.

that smile. that damn smile. it’d be the death of him at this point. if there was ever a moment of tension to do something that could potentially make or break a relationship, now would’ve been the perfect time for him to make his move. but he didn’t have any time to react as y/n’s lips quickly found his.

he was shocked at first but after a moment, he kissed her back, pulling her close. he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. y/n was now straddling him and the kiss didn’t break.

y/n deepened the kiss and ran her hands down his chest, causing chris to groan and pull away for a second.

“wait.” he looked at her. “i need to know something before this goes any further.”

“what?”

“are you only doing this to get matt jealous? or are you actually into me?”

“can we just not complicate things right now, chris? you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“yeah of course.”

“then let’s just go with that. no need to make things more complicated than they already are.” y/n looked at chris and bit her lip. he was a sucker for her, that’s for sure.

for the remainder of time before valentines day, y/n and chris began an arrangement that really stretched the boundaries of their friendship. they never slept together but they were both willing to do whatever they could to please the other. chris was never one to leave a girl unsatisfied so there were times their encounters lasted hours. and chris loved every second of it.

matt tried to drown out the noises he heard coming from downstairs each time but even through his headphones, he could still hear it somehow. whether it was the sounds y/n made or the way she said chris’ name, matt couldn’t get it out of his head no matter how hard he tried.

how can she sleep with chris when she wouldn’t sleep with me? he often thought to himself. it was a constant reminder that falling for his brothers best friend wasn’t a good idea.

when valentines day finally arrived, chris woke up incredibly early and decided to make y/n some breakfast in bed. just as he finished plating everything, matt came out of his room and eyed chris’ neck before scoffing and opening the fridge.

“happy valentines day, matt.” chris smiled and grabbed the tray of food before heading down to his room. when he entered, y/n was sitting up, scrolling through her phone. she looked up when she heard his footsteps come closer.

“what’s all this?” she smiled and inspected the tray.

“well, it’s valentines day. the day of romance. and since i agreed to be your matt replacement today, i thought it’d be nice to wake you up with something delicious.”

y/n took a bite of the french toast and moaned at the taste. “this is the best fucking french toast i have ever had.”

“you think so?”

“yeah. it’s delicious.” she kept eating while chris sat next to her. “so what’s the plan for tonight?” she asked with a mouthful of food.

“i was thinking we could stay in and i could make you your favorite meal.”

“you can make chicken cordon bleu?”

“no.” he chuckled. “what’s your second favorite meal?”

“i like cheeseburgers and i love your cheeseburgers.”

“if that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get tonight.”

“you’re the best.” y/n slipped on one of chris’ hoodies and walked towards the door. “i'm gonna go see nick for a minute but when i get back, i'm going to thank you properly for the breakfast.”

y/n left the room with a devilish smirk and headed up to nick’s room. she knocked lightly and waited before walking into his room. he was still asleep so she jumped up on his bed and tickled his nose. he quickly swatted her hand away and opened his eyes.

“let me sleep. you and chris are two floors below me and i could still hear everything that was going on down there.” he closed his eyes and turned away from her. “you guys are disgusting.”

“okay mr grumpy pants. i was just coming to wish you a happy valentines day.” she giggled, kissed his forehead and left the room. as she made her way through the kitchen, matt came out of the bathroom. he took in her attire and rolled his eyes. “what the fuck is your problem, matthew?”

“i just think it’s pretty funny that you wouldn’t sleep with me, someone you were supposedly ‘in love with’ but you’ll sleep with chris every chance you get.”

“well if you hadn’t been a jerk the entire time we’ve been home, you’d probably be the one who gets to do things to me. you’d be the one getting to leave these marks on me.” she rolled up the bottom of the hoodie and showed off the inside of her thigh. dark marks littered the skin there. matt clenched his jaw and stared at her.

“this is ridiculous.” he shook his head. “can’t believe you’re acting like such a whore.”

“fuck you, matt.” y/n shot him the finger and headed back down to chris’ room, slamming the door and causing herself to jump. “sorry, chris. didn’t mean to slam the door.”

“it’s alright.” he walked over to her and looked at her face. her eyes were welling up with tears and chris felt bad.

“i know i said when i got back from nick’s room that i would thank you properly for the breakfast, but can we just lay in bed, please?”

“of course. don't worry about it.” he ushered over to the bed and laid down with her, holding her tight. “are you alright?”

“matt’s an asshole.” she sighed, wiping away at the few tears that fell down her cheeks.

“what did he say to you?”

“he said i was acting like a whore.” she sniffled. chris shot out of bed and headed for the door. “chris, please don’t.” y/n fiddled with her fingers and looked at chris.

“i'm sorry but he can’t just say something like that and get away with it.” chris turned the knob and it was y/n’s turn to get out of bed. she hurried over to the chris and wedged herself between him and the door, gently placing a hand on his cheek.

“please?” she whispered lowly, on the verge of tears. chris crumbled and let her lead him back over to the bed. she played with his hair as they cuddled on the bed. it was clear they needed each other on a deeper level than just intimacy.

an hour later, chris noticed y/n had fallen asleep. he slipped out of her embrace and made his way up to matt’s bedroom. he knocked twice before matt yanked the door open.

“what do you want?”

“i want you to apologize.”

“i'm not apologizing to you.”

“no. you need to apologize to y/n for saying she was acting like a whore. last month, you were so madly in love with her and now you’re acting colder than you ever have. this is not the way you’re supposed to treat the person you love.”

“i'm over her, chris. she’s yours now. you can have your turn.” matt tried shutting his door but chris stopped it.

“look, matt. that girl is still hurting and she’s blaming herself for what’s happening between you guys.”

“then she should’ve thought about that before she started sleeping with you after basically rejecting me in miami.”

“she didn’t reject you, matt. and we’re not sleeping together.”

“oh please. save it, okay? i can not only hear you guys going at it in your room but i’ve also seen the marks you left on her. if those aren’t clear signs you’re having sex, then i don’t know what is.”

“it’s literally everything but sex.” chris ran his hands through his hair. “did you ever stop to think about why she didn’t sleep with you in miami? it’s because she was scared, okay? she was terrified that if she gave you everything that you would just turn around and hurt her. and you guys didn’t even have to have sex to do that. you’re killing her slowly, matthew. and honestly, i hate you so much for it right now.”

“don’t hate me for your girlfriends choices.” matt checked his phone. “now, if you don’t mind, i have a date to get ready for.”

chris stood in shock as matt closed the door roughly. why was his brother not understanding the situation clearly? it was driving him crazy.

instead of going back down to his own room, chris headed up to nick’s.

“nick, i need you to ask madi to be your date tonight.”

“what are you talking about? doesn't she have a date with matt?”

“yes but matt and y/n need to go on a valentines date. they're supposed to be together. not him and madi.”

“wait, i'm confused.” nick held up his hand and shook his head. “why are you trying to set your girlfriend up with matt?”

“she’s not my girlfriend.” chris ran his hands down his face. “her heart belongs to matt.”

“so? if he doesn’t want to be with her, then you gotta take a chance.”

“but he does want to be with her. you should’ve seen the way he got jealous when he thought i was having sex with y/n.”

“you guys aren’t having sex? then what the hell are you doing that makes so much noise?” he questioned, the realization hitting him a few seconds later. “oh. ew.”

“so, can you text madi or not?”

“i can try. but if she’s into this date, there’s not going to be a way to get her out of it.” nick began typing on his phone. within seconds, madi was requesting to facetime. nick answered it quickly and it didn’t take long for madi to start speaking.

“what are you even talking about, nick? i don’t have anything planned with matt tonight.” she raised her eyebrow and got closer to the camera. “why would he say that? oh my god. do you think he likes me?”

“no.” chris shook his head and turned to nick. “he’s an idiot.”

“i agree. why would he say he’s going on a date with madi if it’s not true?”

“because he was trying to make y/n jealous, obviously.” chris sprinted out of the room and almost fell as he took 2 steps at a time to get back to his room. y/n jumped back as he threw the door open, as she was just about to go looking for him.

“you look like you’ve been running laps around the house. what's going on?”

“change of plans tonight. instead of me cooking dinner for you, i'm taking you out to eat.” he smiled and looked around his room.

“okay. i'm not complaining, but why the sudden change?”

“just want an excuse to dress up.” he held her face gently and smiled widely.

“oh, how about you still cook for me and i'll still get all dressed up.”

“that sounds like a better plan.” he leaned in to kiss her and smiled when she kissed him back. “do you have something at the house you can change into?”

“yeah. it’s up in nick’s room.” she looked at him. “be right back.” y/n dashed out of chris’ room and went upstairs to nick’s room. she paused outside in the hallway when she heard nick and madi talking.

“so if he likes y/n, why doesn’t he just tell her? i mean, didn’t they just spend a whole week together in miami?”

“they did and from what i learned, something happened and it screwed up their relationship. i’m not sure what it was exactly, but matt’s been ignoring her since they got back and y/n’s been spending all her time with chris.”

“so, are y/n and chris together now?”

“no. well, i'm not quite sure. they might as well be.”

“but she needs to be with matt. maybe you should tell her that matt’s ‘date’ with me was never actually a thing.”

“no. it’s gotta be matt who tells her.”

y/n knocked on his door and looked at nick. “hey.”

“hey. how much of that did you hear?” nick turned towards her, still on the call with madi.

“almost everything.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“hey y/n.” madi waved with a smile.

“hey.” y/n returned the smile and looked back at nick. “i came up to get that dress i left up here. need it for my date.”

“it’s in my closet.” nick nodded towards the door and y/n walked in. nick was right behind her. “who’s your date tonight?”

“chris.” she reached for the baby blue piece of clothing. “instead of going out to a fancy restaurant, we came to a compromise. he's going to cook for me and we’re going to dress up as if we actually were going out tonight.”

“why are you still going on this date with chris if you know matt’s date with madi was never happening? i thought you would be happy.”

“why would i be happy about something matt lied about, especially after he basically called me a whore?”

“he did what?!?” both nick and madi exclaimed.

“not going to get into details. but he called me a whore earlier. well, he said i was acting like one because i was sleeping with chris.”

“but you’re not. does he know that?”

“no and let’s not tell him. he doesn’t deserve to know.”

“you two are incredibly stubborn and i hate it.”

“what are you talking about?” y/n turned to nick and eyed him.

“you and matt. one minute, you’re in love & the next it’s like you’ve never met before. why can’t you guys see that you’re supposed to be together?”

“we’re not meant to be together, nicolas. if there was any indication of that, something serious would’ve happened in miami.”

“what the fuck even happened while you guys were gone?”

“do you really want to know?”

“duh. that's why i asked.”

“okay, smartass.” y/n carefully set the dress on nick’s bed and looked at him. “it was our last night in miami. we were alone in the hotel room and we were cuddling on my bed and things started to get…intimate.”

“so you slept with him?”

“no. after a really steamy make-out session, it was over. that’s as far as we got.”

“who broke the moment first?” madi questioned.

“technically, he pulled away first. but he was only checking on me to see if i was okay with what was happening. his fingers were really cold and it made me shiver. but after that, the moment was over.”

“so let me get this straight. he touched your skin and it caused you to shiver. he then pulled away to check on you and the moment was over?” nick raised an eyebrow. “sounds like it might have been your fault, sorry.”

“nick, are you crazy? matt's the one who pulled away first. it’s totally his fault.” madi shook her head on the other end of the phone.

“it’s both our faults, i will admit.” y/n sighed. “and it sucks because i really, really liked him too.”

“then fucking tell him, dumbass.”

“nick, be nice.” madi scolded him. “it’s hard to tell a guy how you feel.”

“i am well aware.” nick chuckled then looked back at y/n. she was focused on the dress. the dress she bought for a party, hoping to get matt’s attention with the color since it was his favorite. she didn’t notice if it caught his eye. he had spent most of the party talking to some random girl she didn’t know but whenever she wasn’t looking, matt would look over at her.

“what am i supposed to do?” at this point, y/n was sitting on the edge of the bed. “i obviously still love matt. but now there’s the thing with chris. so no matter which brother i choose, i know i am going to break someone’s heart.”

“right now, you’re breaking my heart, y/n. i don’t like seeing you upset.” nick sat beside her and sighed. “i wish there was a better to go about life.”

“me too.” y/n looked at him.

“i've lived with them both my whole life and i know enough to tell you that no matter who you end up choosing, the other one will for sure get over it. neither of them hold grudges.”

“you’re right. now the only issue is trying to talk to matt without an argument breaking out.” y/n looked back at the dress. “and i also have to talk to chris. damn it.”

“you can do this, y/n. i believe in you.” madi grinned, happy to know she was helping a little. “i'll come by tomorrow to see you if you want.”

“that would be nice. maybe we could have a girls day.”

“yes that would be nice. in the meantime, good luck with the boys.” madi waved goodbye as y/n grabbed the dress and headed down to chris’ room to shower.

after an hour of getting ready, y/n took a look in the mirror. nick stood behind her and smiled.

“you are so gorgeous.” he rubbed her shoulders in a calming manner. he then quickly checked his phone. “well, it’s time to head up to your dinner. good luck.”

y/n took one last look in the mirror before heading up the stairs. chris turned away from the stove and whistled.

“wow. you look so good right now. well, you always look good. but tonight, you’re just…glowing.” he smirked and walked over to her. “ready to eat?”

“you bet.” y/n smiled and sat down when chris pulled the chair out for her. he hurried over to his chair and handed her the plate he prepared for her.

“enjoy.”

the two of them began to eat in near silence. the only sound they could hear for the first few minutes was the background music chris had picked out. after y/n finished half her burger, she looked up at chris.

“i really appreciate you, chris. you know that right?”

“yeah of course.” he set his food down and gave her his full attention. “this last week or so has been insane, right?”

“yeah.” y/n kicked her feet slowly. “can we talk about that, actually?”

“sure thing.” chris rested his head on his hands and let her do most of the talking.

“what we’ve been doing has definitely been fun. the most fun i think i have ever had.” she blushed. “and although i thoroughly enjoyed it, i think we should stop.”

“you’re not gonna believe this but i've been thinking the same thing.” chris let out a breath. “obviously, i will always care about you and i will cherish the time we spent together. but you and i both know that you’re supposed to be with matt.”

“this is why you’re the best, chris. you’re so understanding and you’re the sweetest person i know.” y/n reached across the table and took ahold of his hand. chris absentmindedly ran his thumb over her knuckles. "thank you for the most amazing 2 weeks of my life.”

“i should be the one thanking you.” he placed a gentle kiss to her knuckles and they both went back to eating. after their meal was done, y/n stood up slowly.

“guess it’s time to talk to matt.” she sighed and looked towards his bedroom. chris walked up behind her.

“good luck, y/n.” he kissed her forehead and headed down to his own room. y/n approached matt’s bedroom door and knocked lightly. while she waited, she thought of what she was going to say.

when he pulled the door open, he wasn’t expecting to see y/n standing before him. his eyes widened as he took in the way she looked. and when he saw she was staring at him, he quickly placed his gaze elsewhere and replaced the confusion with anger.

“what are you doing here?”

“matt, stop. you and i are going to talk and there’s nothing you can do about it.” she pushed him backwards and closed his bedroom door behind her. matt tried to protest but instead, she sat him down on the edge of his bed before taking a seat on his computer chair. the air grew thicker the longer they both stayed silent.

“well, you wanted to talk. so talk.” matt couldn’t help but let his attitude out in the moment. this caused y/n to roll her eyes but she started talking.

“look, i'm sorry about what happened in miami. i shouldn’t have just given up when the moment got a little too intimate.” she looked down at her lap and sighed. “truthfully, i was so scared. i know how experienced you are and i didn’t want to let you down with my lack of experience. i've never had sex with anyone and i thought that if i wasn’t good at it, you would stop talking to me. and as soon as i got off you that night, i regretted it. i was so stupid and i thought i was ready. even now, i don’t think i am. i'm still so terrified that i'll make a fool of myself and it’ll get spread around like a sickness.” y/n’s leg began to shake and matt watched as a tear landed on her lap. he wanted so badly to reach over and wipe it away but he wanted to be respectful. so he waited for her to go on. with a shaky breath, she continued her speech. “i hate that i drove you away. i hate that i loved you enough to introduce you to my family and then i threw it all away.” she shot her arm out to emphasize her point and it was then that matt noticed the necklace he gave her. it laid perfectly around her neck, only moving when she took a deep breath. “i’m so sorry i put you through what i did. i never wanted to hurt you and i only wish i could’ve explained why it happened the way it did.”

“you don’t owe me any explanation.” matt spoke. it shocked her to hear his calm voice again. he saw her head jerk up at it but he continued to speak. “i never should’ve gotten so pissed off that you wouldn’t have sex with me. that’s not who i am. if anything, i should be the one apologizing to you. you didn’t deserve the way i treated you and you most definitely did not deserve hearing what i said to you this morning. that was the lowest blow i could’ve dealt out and i'm so very sorry for it. i don’t think you’re a whore. you’re the farthest thing from it. i was just insanely jealous because chris was the one doing what i one day hoped to do. and i know jealousy is not an excuse but it was wrong. y/n,” he got on his knees and held her hands. “i am so fucking in love with you and i need you to know that. i may have dated other girls in the past but i have never loved any of them. you are by far the most kindhearted person in the world and definitely the most breathtakingly gorgeous. you could wear a fucking garbage bag and i would still love you. hell, i would love you even if you were a fucking worm.” matt met y/n’s gaze and smiled. “you look really good in this dress and i swear i meant to tell you at that party the first time you wore it but i was scared that you would just laugh in my face and call me stupid or something.”

“i do think you’re stupid. always have.” y/n nodded and smiled even with the tears cascading down her cheeks. matt chuckled and reached up to wipe them away, causing y/n to sigh contently.

“god, you are so perfect. i want everything with you. not just the sex. i want the stupid future with you. the one where we have 2 or 3 kids and a nice house in the suburbs where our kids can play safely. i want the late night conversations with you. fuck, i even want the stupid fucking rom-com shit with you. it’s always been you. there is absolutely nobody else and there never has been. god, you are it for me. you’ve ruined everybody else for me.” he looked up at her. “i just…i want you in every possible way. good and bad.”

“fuck, matt. i want you too.” y/n caved and pulled him in for a kiss. one he was more than happy to return. her hands went to his hair while his moved from her knees to her face. he craved every part of her. he detached his lips from her to place rough kisses trailing from her jawline down her neck. with every tug on her skin came a gentle kiss to soothe the pain.

matt stood up but y/n was not willing to break the kiss. thankfully, matt picked up with ease and she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her over to the bed. the strap of her dress hung loosely on her shoulder as matt kissed every part of her he could. her hands remained in his hair as his lips explored every part of her body.

y/n felt matt getting frustrated with the strap of her dress so she slid it off her arm entirely. he was more than eager to show how thankful he was for the simple action. and as he kissed her now bare shoulder, she took the opportunity to slip the other strap off as well. her dress staying in place only because of the position she was in. if she had been standing or even sitting upright, the top of her dress would’ve already slipped down to reveal the black lace bra she wore.

“fuck, matt.” y/n bit her lip as he kissed just above the top of the dress. she could tell that her being fully clothed was causing matt to grow impatient. “want me to take this off?”

“fuck. yes please.” matt groaned and watched with hungry eyes as y/n maneuvered herself in a way that was so sensual to matt. the dress came off and matt wasted no time exploring the new territory. there was a faint mark just above the top of her panties, next to her sun tattoo, that matt knew chris had left. he took it upon himself to bite the skin with a little bit of pressure. not too much to hurt her, but enough to make a new mark.

y/n moaned as he left a trail of sloppy kisses up the inside of her thighs, stopping every few seconds to make new marks over the ones chris left behind. the idea of his brother getting there first only made him slightly more aggressive. his kisses on her thighs halted as he made his way back to her lips. his hands held her hips as he kissed her. instead of fisting his hair, she dug her nails into his back, causing him to let out a quiet groan.

“fuck. keep doing that and i'm gonna be finished before my pants come off.” matt whispered in her ear. he placed a kiss just beneath her earlobe, exactly like he had that night in miami.

he retraced his steps and traveled back down her body, stopping when he was just above where she needed him the most. he looked up at her and she didn’t hesitate to silently answer with a nod. matt slid his finger in the waistband and pulled them down her legs. once they were off, matt placed a kiss on both of her thighs before diving right in.

as his tongue moved in all the right places, y/n’s left hand clung to his bedsheets while the right one grabbed a fistful of his hair. he groaned into her and picked up his pace.

“jesus christ, matt. not gonna last long if you keep that up.” she spoke with a strained voice as she tried not to be too loud. matt just smirked and pulled her as close as he possibly could. she threw her legs over his shoulders and he was suddenly able to hit a new angle.

y/n could feel her orgasm approaching as matt continued to devour her. when the knot began to take its shape in her stomach, matt slowed down, but only a notch or two. he was trying to make it last as long as he possibly could, wanting to savor every moment.

it wasn’t long before her orgasm reached its peak and she was releasing all over his tongue. matt was more than happy to clean up all her juices, making sure he didn’t miss a single drop.

“fuck that was hot.” y/n breathed out, releasing her right grip of the bedsheet.

“and we’re not even close to being done, baby. i'm just getting started.” matt smirked.

“what do you mean?” y/n was about to ask him again but ended up biting her lip as matt shoved two fingers inside. the moans came spilling out of her mouth faster than she could even process them. as he worked on pumping his fingers in and out of her, he kissed up her body and stayed on her lips. she could taste herself in the kiss.

matt inserted a third finger, causing y/n to bit his lip. he groaned and she almost came right then and there. but she held out. nearly 2 minutes passed before she felt the knot build back up.

“matt, fuck. i'm gonna-“

“i know. come on. you can do it, baby.” he placed a gentle kiss on her nose as she came all over his fingers. he licked them clean very quickly.

“this isn’t fair.”

“what do you mean, princess?” matt raised an eyebrow.

“i’m completely naked and you still have clothes on.” she managed to get out with strangled breaths.

“you’re not entirely naked, since your bra is still on, but i'm willing to level the playing field.” he kissed the top of each of her breasts before making quick work to rid himself of his own clothing. y/n eagerly took her bra off and bit her lip as her eyes travelled down his body. she had heard many stories about his size but none of them seemed accurate. he was definitely larger than the legends said and easily the biggest she had ever seen in her life.

“jesus, matt.” she continued to chew on her bottom lip as she took him in her hands. she began to pump him slowly, almost like she was teasing him. the precum leaked from the tip slowly and matt watched as y/n expertly moved her hand up and down. he was not able to last very long.

“y/n, i'm about to-“

“i know. come on, baby. let it go.” y/n looked up at him and bit her lip as he came in her hand.

“fuck, that was hot.”

“i’m not even finished.” she repeated his words from earlier and before he could even ask what she meant she was taking him in her mouth.

“oh god!” matt threw his head back and propped himself on his elbows so he could see exactly what she was doing. “wow. you’re doing such a good job at taking all of me. holy fuck.” he closed his eyes and without warning, he was unloading into her mouth. the sight of her swallowing it all was enough to make him come again but he knew better. he wanted to last as long as possible for her. he wanted the experience to be just as pleasurable for her as it was for him.

y/n placed a kiss on his tip and stood up. matt grabbed her waist and positioned her on his lap. before anything went further, he looked at her.

“are you sure about this?”

“yes absolutely. wouldn't have it any other way, matty.” she kissed him deeply and without breaking the kiss, he flipped them over so she was laying on his bed. he hovered over her and gave her another look, silently asking if it was okay, to which she nodded. matt lined himself up with her entrance and started moving slowly. he took note of the way y/n winced so he stopped for a second. “okay. you can move now.”

matt kissed her gently as he began to move at a faster pace than he ever had before. the way their bodies moved together so perfectly sent chills down their spines, but in a good way.

his thrusts were powerful and addictive and y/n dug her nails into his back, moving them up and down his back with every movement he made.

the sounds coming from their mouths were crazy.

matt began to slow his pace and his thrusts became sloppy, signaling that he was close. y/n was close as well, digging her nails in further and locking her legs behind his back.

“do you want me to pull out?” he asked timidly.

“no. need you to fill me up, matt.” y/n kissed his neck, making sure to prolong the orgasm. he released inside her at the same time she finished too. as matt pulled out of her slowly, he placed a kiss to her neck and grabbed a towel from his bedside table to clean up their mess. he also noticed that he left both of her boobs untouched the entire time.

“oh my. how could i forget to give you any attention?” he chuckled and placed a gentle kiss to each nipple. y/n looked down at him with most loved up look she had ever given anyone. “you doing alright, y/n?”

“i am doing absolutely perfect. thank you for asking.” y/n grabbed her clothes and placed them neatly in a pile on the floor before grabbing some of matt’s clothes and putting them on. she crawled into bed and matt joined her seconds later, throwing his arm around her and holding her close.

“fuck, that was the hottest thing i've ever seen in my life. easily the best sex of my life.” matt chuckled, his breath still a little shaky. “how about you? how are you feeling?” y/n looked up at him and grinned.

“well, lucky for you, i have nothing to compare the sex to so clearly it was the best of my life too. as for the other things, you’ll be happy to know you beat chris.”

“oh, really?” matt grinned smugly.

“yup. a landslide victory. one for the record books. gold medal performance.” y/n giggled as matt began attacking her with kisses.

“i'm so in love with you.” he stared at her face and couldn’t help himself as he placed a soft kiss on her neck. “so so in love with you.”

“i know. and i'm so so in love with you too, matty.” y/n whispered, causing matt to sit up straight with her still in his arms. he looked like he was suddenly deep in thought. “what’s going on in that pretty little mind, huh?”

“just thinking of how we can now have sex whenever we want now.”

“so, you have sex with me once and think you’re going to be the only one now?”

“oh i better be.” matt sounded offended but when he looked down at y/n’s face and saw her smiling, he started to laugh. “don’t say shit like that. are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“of course not.” y/n smirked. “i love you, dummy. why would i want to have sex with anyone else?”

“i'm glad i'm the only one.” he kissed her head. “i am the only one, right? like, you’re completely done your thing with chris?”

“yes. it's over between me and chris. now it’s just you and me.”

“thank god.” he smirked and leaned in to kiss her. y/n slowly climbed onto his lap and wrapped her around his neck, deepening the kiss. “you up for a round 2?”

“with you or chris?” y/n smirked playfully and kissed him passionately when he rolled his eyes. how could he think for even a second that she would want to sleep with anyone else? she was glad he could take a joke and she would forever be grateful for the way he loved her.

taglist: @worldlxvlys @carolinalikesthings

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader

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astonmartingf · 2 months

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YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

P6 ★ WORLD ENDURANCE CHAMPIONSHIPS AND SO MUCH MORE

amgf it's been a hot minute, but i really studied hard for my exam so... this is the update. i was waiting on finishing two chapters in the drafts before uploading but decided i would just post this because the jenson one is also in my drafts so it's all good, i still have two exams next week but after that the updates will come back regularly (hopefully) enjoy this chapter 👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

yourusername 5/23/2014

liked by yourfriend and 42 others

yourusername it's been 43 days since the last accident.

yourfriend working hard or hardly working?

yourusername it's not slacking off if there are no incidents 🤷‍♀️ and we don't want any incidents don't we?

yourfriend still can't believe travelling is a part of your work resume, but i'm proud of you baby <3

yourusername 2/14/2016

liked by fernandoalonso and 33 others

yourusername he's annoyingly sweet but he gets to my heart, happy valentine's amor 😘

fernandoalonso you love me amor

yourusername yeah yeah 🙄

fernandoalonso i love you amor ❤️

yourusername 1/19/2018

liked by fernandoalo_oficial and 107 others

yourusername my man. my man. my man.

fernandoalo_oficial Mi reyna. Mi vida. Mi amor.

yourusername 9/16/2018

liked by chloestroll and 85 others

yourusername it's a party for three, no more wine for me

fernandoalo_oficial I can't wait to meet you little guy ❤️

yourusername 6/16/2019

liked by lancestroll and 43 others

yourusername CONGRATULATIONS 2018-2019 ENDURANCE RACING CHAMPION FERNANDO ALONSO 🎉🍾🥂

I'm glad and excited to have witnessed another class performance from you. You've done it again, and I'm sure you'll do it a hundred more times. Don't forget that we love you always, and we're here to support you constantly. You will always be the number one for me.

fernandoalo_oficial Thank you amor ❤️ I couldn't have done it without you.

yourusername 6/29/2019

liked by fernandoalo_oficial and 121 others

yourusername alejandro alonso.

fernandoalo_oficial We're changing your name to Alonso next.

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol

#f1 smau #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #fernando alonso smau #fernando alonso fluff #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso imagine

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604to647 · 7 months

Text

Safest with You - Series Masterlist

Modern AU with Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: Din Djarin, retired mob enforcer, falls in love, but worries his past could put his future (you) in danger.

A/N: First time writer, please be gentle 🥹 This is a modern AU where Din is a former enforcer for the Fett family, and the world building and relationship development between Din and Reader takes place over many chapters. Some Star Wars names thrown in for fun, but there aren't meant to be any serious parallels to canon. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy my brain rot for everyone’s favourite tin man 🥰

Series warnings: Chapters with smut denoted with 🚑, chapters with angst denoted with ❤️‍🩹, fluff throughout. Individual instalment warnings are included in each post.

Ch. 1 (The Coffeeshop)

Ch. 2 (The Bookstore)

Ch. 3 (The Drycleaner)

Ch. 4 (The First Date)

Ch. 5 (The Courtship)

Ch. 6 (The Courtship, Din's POV) ❤️‍🩹

Ch. 7 (The Third Date) ❤️‍🩹

Ch. 8 (The Cab) ❤️‍🩹

Ch. 9 (The Dam Breaks) 🚑

Ch. 10 (The Afterglow) 🚑

Ch. 11 (The Poker Game) (a summary)

Ch. 11 Addendum (After The Poker Game) 🚑

Ch. 12 (The Workout) 🚑

Ch. 13 (The Birthday)

Ch. 14 (The Subway) 🚑

Ch. 15 (The BBQ) 🚑

Ch. 16 (The Match-up) 🚑

Ch. 17 (The Preparations) 🚑

Ch. 18 (The Threat) 🚑 ❤️‍🩹 new! Inspo

Ch. 19 (The Betrayal) 🚑 ❤️‍🩹

Ch. 20 (The Way to Get Over Someone, Part 1)❤️‍🩹

Ch. 21 (The Way to Get Over Someone, Part 2)🚑 ❤️‍🩹

Ch. 22 (The Long Road to Forgiveness)

Epilogue

Art new!

Dog walk (@kenobiwanx commission 🙏🏻)

One-shots and Drabbles (same AU)

All the one shots and drabbles can be slotted in the above timeline; as the chapters get written, I’ll note where they fit in. For now, consider the below to all be set when Din and Reader are in an established relationship (hence the smut 😂).

Carnival Fright Night 🚑 (set between Ch. 12 & 14)

Lingerie 🚑 (set anytime after Ch. 10) (Link to the Lingerie set)

The Wedding, Part 2 🚑 (insert btwn Ch. 17 & 18) (Moodboard by @hellishjoel - thank you!)

2 More Days (A Textfic) 🚑 - Part 1, Part 2 (set anytime after Ch. 12)

Holiday Remix (A Textfic) (set anytime after Ch. 12)

Let Me Carry It For You (SBowl 🏈 Drabble) (set right after Ch. 11)

The Mando Roll (Valentine’s Day Special) (set anytime after Ch. 10)

Hat Trick (set anytime after Ch. 12) Part 2 (The Playoffs)

Birthday Bunny 🚑 (HBD P! 🥳)

Thots

Alfredo’s the best dog

Favourite nook

Walking the dog

POV: On a date with Din

Naming of Mando’s Gym inspo

Working at Mando’s

Paz Vizsla face cast

Excellent boxing advice

Series vibes and this amazing graphic by @gasolinerainbowpuddles (thank you!)

#din djarin #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin fic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #modern au #no y/n #din djarin smut #din djarin fluff #smut with feelings #fluff and smut #fluff and angst

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casper-spills · 4 months

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♡ 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 ♡

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Happy Valentine's Day! ♡

I hope everyone's doing well! ♡ It's been a while since I've done one of these and I've been really excited to do this one! This time, I'm writing these almost like a story of what's going to happen but I will warn you, I am not the most amazing story teller in the world haha but I hope everybody enjoys the reading they got and remember to only take what resonates ♡

All feedback is appreciated!

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

Discaimer: Tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only and should never take the place of professional therapy or professional legal, medicinal or financial advice.

𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉! ♡

𝟧𝟢% 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒫𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈!

Ends on Feb 19th 2 Questions £10 ~ £5 3 Questions £14 ~ £7 5 Questions £24 ~ £12 10 Questions £40 ~ £20

| BOOK A READING WITH ME | KO-FI |

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ♡

Cards: Five of Swords, The Sun, Knight of Wands, The Hierophant (reversed), The Hanged Man, The Moon, Five of Cups (reversed), Four of Cups, Six of Coins, The World (reversed), The Devil, The Fool (reversed), Ace of Swords (reversed)

Some of you might be a part of the LGBT community and for those of you who aren't, it might be that you are not very traditional and don't play into the roles that society would have placed you in.

It is a warm and sunny day by a lake or some kind of body of water but I get the feeling that maybe this is someplace you are not supposed to be, like a private or closed off area. Maybe this could be a closed off pool area in an old building. You find your way in and I see your date being reluctant to go but they follow you anyway. They're becoming increasingly more anxious about being here but you reassure them that nobody comes here and reveal the suprise, a game! This might be some kind of arcade game or ping pong table that has been left on the property and, soon enough, they give in (since they're a sucker for games.)

Now this is interesting. You actually aren't sure if this person feels the same way about you and this is you shooting your shot. Again, I get the feeling that the majority of you might be LGBTQ+ and you're really taking the leap of faith on this. Good for you!

You both having lots of fun, your date managed to score a point and you cheer together! (So cute). There's a moment of silence and there's intent behind their gaze, and you think to yourself, 'its now or never'. So you pour every ounce of faith into this chance and swiftly kiss them, waiting for their response. To your relief, they return the kiss, and it is passionate and warm and perfect ♡

Messages from them to you: 'You're so beautiful and I don't know how to tell you' 'I hope it is what i think it is' 'I really hope you're sure about this and about me' 'I'm sure that it's you that I want' 'Please make the first move'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ♡

Cards: Eight of Cups, Page of Coins (horizontal), King of Cups, The Devil (horizontal), The Lovers, Three of Coins, The Tower (horizontal), Page of Cups (horizontal), The Hanged Man (horizontal)

This is somewhere quiet, somewhere where people might come to learn like a library accept there isn't many people here. I could be that you're a student and I'm getting major breakfast club vibes. I feel like you and your person are in detention together or perhaps it feels like you're getting punished with the work you have to do. (I know this isn't the most romantic date in the world but stay with me.)

I'm getting the feeling that you are paired with this person for a project. Even though you really want to focus and not fall behind, they seem to be distracting you and weighing on your mind. You like them because how can you not? They're gorgeous! But they're annoying the heck out of you, 'plus, they're super weird', you think to yourself.

You eventually decide that this is getting too much and get up from your seat to start looking in one of the isles for a book. You feel your face turning redder and redder the more they try to get your attention. Once they realise that they aren't getting anywhere, they begin to actually talk to you about the work and ask to see the book you have taken off the shelf. Suddenly, they don't seem as ignorant as you thought, and they're pretty smart when they actually want to be. You wonder if maybe this person just wants to connect so you give in and entertain them a little.

You very quickly regret your decision when they boldly ask you if you're blushing because you like them. Not saying anything, you look away, poorly hiding the fact that you're clearly red in the face. Under your breath you ask them, 'please, stop messing with me' because you're starting to feel like you could cry if this keeps up. There's a moment where they don't say anything and the silence becomes defening. All you can hear right now is the beating of your heart and you can't help but feel like their gaze is becoming too intense for you.

Unexpectedly, the awkwardness is broken by a kiss on the cheek. You're thinking, 'what the heck? Are they trying to give me emotional whiplash?' But before you can say anything they apologise to you. 'I'll stop messing with you and we can get back to doing the project.' They seem sincere and a little different to how they were a second ago. So you shake it off and agree to continue the project, though it's really difficult to focus properly.

Messages from them to you: 'If I don't do anything now, then you'll never consider me' 'I like how intelligent you are' 'I want to get to know you more' 'I need to know what you think of me' 'I want to get closer to you'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Cards: Four of Swords (reversed), The Star (reversed), Three of Swords (reversed), Seven of Wands (reversed), Nine of Wands (horizontal), Queen of Coins (reversed), Eight of Swords (reversed)

You're at their house, in their bedroom and I have the feeling that maybe you've known this person for a while now. It's not anything too crazy, just laying down, listening to music and watching the star projector spin. This is perfect because you've been having a really tough week and you really need to just relax. Things might have been tough at work or home and you really need someone to vent to.

So they have set up a comfortable space for you, brought snacks and drinks, and offered to listen for as long as you wanted. This isn't really intened to be a date and honestly, it isn't much of one either, but it's intimiate and it feels different from all the other times that you've hung out with them. They're normally more energetic and chaotic when you hang out with them but today they're really trying to be more considerate and more sensitive. You really appreciate that from them. You're not sure that you want to progress this feeling yet, so your boundaries are clear and all you want right now is a friend. But that doesn't mean things won't change.

Messages from them to you: 'I admire you' 'You're so beautiful' 'You've seen so much' 'Everything is going to be okay' 'You can stay here as long as you want'

♥Thank you for your support! Happy Valentine's Day♥

Special thanks to: @kittywatching @livelythoughts @visualbutterflysworld @honeytarotmind @jeff-satur-is-my-baby-girl @miraclekay97 @artscapismsworld @julyourwitch @notakitsune @mercurialstime @soledad-montoya @depressedcap @bibislutmarvel @coconuttreesstuff

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octanesprohoetype · 1 year

Text

no strings attached – genji shimada

NSFW!!! MINORS DNI!!!!

a/n: hello, first post on my new blog >:3 this note is gonna be long and ramble-y so feel free to skip it. to begin with, everything about this fic was unplanned. i never planned on my first post here being overwatch related, nor did i plan on it being porn, but here we are with overwatch porn. and then, i was only trying to write a short 1-2k word valentine's day smut, but it is 2 days after valentine's and this fic is 5.5k words long with layers like a cake. this is the first thing i've written for overwatch, and also the first smut i've written in 2 years, so i may be rusty. i hope you enjoy it anyway.

word count: 5.5k

tags/summary: porn with plot (kind of), mild angst?, idiots in love. you invite genji over, hoping that having sex with him would help you get over the annoying feelings you have for him. that doesn't happen for you.

warnings: no pronouns used for reader, female genitalia is vaguely described tho, unprotected sex

edited to add: this fic is now on my ao3 as well! thanks to @smol-dragon for reminding me :3

"damn it. fuck."

you lock your phone and squeeze your eyelids shut, forcing the screen out of your vision, and throw your head back against the pillow in frustration. this is so, so stupid, you tell yourself, and it is stupid, yet you can't let it go.

you were an adult– you shouldn't be having inner turmoil about how you wanted to have sex with someone. it wasn't anything you hadn't done before, but for some reason, it was suddenly impossible to navigate.

"damn you, genji," you mutter, slapping one of your hands against your forehead.

this was all his fault. you'd never felt the urge to have sex with a coworker, honestly, the thought had never even crossed your mind... or at least, that was true until you met genji. you ignored your attraction to the cyborg at first– sure, he was nice to look at and had an alluring air of danger about him, but he was no different from cassidy in that regard. you figured whatever attraction you had to him would quickly dissipate into nothing, as it did with the cowboy, but to your dismay, it only grew stronger.

at first, you found yourself admiring the intricacy of his cybernetic body parts, and then his combat style. then, you found yourself staring at him for much longer, entranced by his form and the way he spoke.

genji himself did absolutely nothing to alleviate you of your newly-contracted disease. in fact, it almost seemed that he intentionally made it worse. he'd jump to your aid in combat, ghost his fingers across you in passing, and you caught him casting you lingering glances, though you could never tell what thoughts were going on behind his actions.

you told yourself it was probably nothing, that you were being delusional and trying to convince yourself that your crush (if you could call it that) was reciprocated. you were almost successful in convincing yourself to let it go, but the interaction between the two of you today not only reignited your thoughts of him, but intensified them.

genji had been in one of the sparring ranges at headquarters, dutifully practicing his aim, though you didn't really think it was necessary. you were observing, over-exaggerating your interest in his technique as an excuse to be around him, and offhandedly made a comment about wishing you could use a sword.

"i'd be happy to teach you," genji had replied.

you jumped at the offer, but severely overestimated yourself in terms of your sword-wielding capabilities. it looked easy, but maybe that was just because you'd only ever seen genji do it, and he made it seem effortless. after failing miserably, you were ready to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment, but genji seemed determined to teach you.

he'd walked up behind you, using one hand to correct your posture, and the other to guide your hands into the correct position along the sword's hilt. you were almost literally on fire underneath his touch, and it was suddenly very difficult to focus on what you were doing.

"i think this might be a waste of time," you'd commented, staring down intently at the sword in your hands so genji couldn't see how red your face was. "i'm afraid i may be a difficult person to teach."

"i'll gladly teach you about anything you want to learn," genji said, standing entirely too close to you with his hands on your shoulder and wrist. "no matter how difficult you may be."

(y/n.exe has stopped working.)

you stared back at him, wide-eyed, with every functional part of your brain failing you. fortunately for you, your phone rang, interrupting the uncomfortable sexual tension that had suddenly filled the room. mercy was calling, requesting your help with something 'important'. after pretending you were really sorry for leaving so abruptly, you practically ran out of the room, silently thanking the doctor for calling you at the best possible time and giving you a get-out-of-jail free card.

you sat through the tactical meeting with mercy and tracer, though you had absolutely no helpful feedback to offer. your mind was fixed on genji the entire time, and your skin still felt hot from where his hands had been. i really need to get laid, you thought, this is pathetic.

now, even though it was hours later, you were still in the same predicament. try as you might, your brain absolutely refused to focus on anything or anyone besides genji. your television had long since blurred into background noise, bits and pieces of some stupid rom-com becoming the soundtrack to your turmoil.

maybe i should just text him... you think, for the millionth time. it was easy, or at least, it should have been easy. finding someone to screw wasn't usually this difficult for you, and you usually didn't care one way or another, but the thought of genji rejecting you was terrifying. even worse was the thought of having to see him again afterwards.

your mind goes back to the sparring range, and you swallow harshly. 'desperate' was never a word you'd use to describe yourself before, but now... when it came to genji, it was kind of an understatement.

"fuck it," you say aloud, swallowing your pride and unlocking your phone.

- hey. are you busy?

he starts typing immediately. how scary.

- i am not. do you need something?

- kind of. i have... a question.

"i am such a fucking loser," you mutter as you watch genji's text bubble appear on the screen.

- what is it?

suddenly, you didn't want to ask anymore. maybe you could go out for drinks with cassidy instead of doing this. you stare blankly at the screen for a while.

- ???

- actually, nevermind. it's embarrassing.

- surely no worse than your attempt at swordsmanship?

- sorry, that was a joke.

- wow, okay. definitely not asking now :'(

- come on.

- okay. do you wanna...

- have sex? with me?

you watch in horror as he starts typing, then stops, then starts again.

- are you serious?

- that is entirely dependent on your answer.

- why... are you asking me?

- i don't know how to answer that.

- i'm definitely taking that as a no.

- i didn't say that.

- well, you didn't say yes either...

- i'm not sure i understand what you're getting at here

- not sure what you mean by that. i'm just asking to have sex

- for the record, i'm not expecting you to be my boyfriend or anything

- just a one time thing. no strings attached

- no strings attached? lol

- okay

okay? okay? what the hell was 'okay' supposed to mean?

- are you there?

- yes. an answer?

- if you're gonna say no i'd like to go ahead and get it over with so that i can go get drunk enough to forget my shame lmao

- that won't be necessary.

- the answer is yes. obviously

your heart almost stops beating for a second. surely this, too, was a joke.

- seriously? like... actually?

- ...

- yes?

- wow! unexpected.

- are you free? like... tonight, maybe?

- i'll be there. 20 minutes?

twenty minutes? was that enough time to prepare? you immediately scramble out of bed to your dresser, searching for something risqué to wear. you owned an obscene amount of lingerie, but for some reason, none of it seemed good enough for the occasion.

you knew enough about genji's past to know that he'd been with more than his fair share of people, and though you weren't inexperienced by any means, it had been a while– most of your time had been dedicated to overwatch lately. you were sure that the names and faces of genji's old lovers blurred together, and although you specifically said 'no strings attached', you wanted to make the best possible impression. even if you never slept together again, you wanted to be memorable, at the very least.

eventually, you realize you're running short on time and opt to put on your personal favorite set. it had never steered you wrong before. you quickly change into it and throw on an oversized hoodie with some random game logo on it– very basic, you noted, but you didn't want to look like you were trying too hard, although you definitely were.

after checking the time, you wander aimlessly around the house waiting for genji to arrive. you definitely weren't nervously pacing from room to room, overanalyzing every aspect of this situation– no, that is not at all what you were doing. before long, you hear a knock at the door. your anxiety spikes through the roof, but you do your best to get a hold of yourself as you walk to the foyer to let genji in.

when you open the door, you see genji, as expected, and he looks the same as always. there was nothing special about his outfit (because why would there be?) and you're very glad you didn't decide to wear something over-the-top. he's also wearing a mask, as usual, but you can actually see his eyes with this one.

"i like your shirt," he says casually. "good game."

you blink at him, having been completely lost in the crimson pools of his irises.

"oh, yeah, it is," you reply, nodding in affirmation. "um, come inside."

he laughs quietly as he steps through the doorway, and you furrow your brows at him in confusion, but decide to ignore it and move on. you lead genji through the house, mentally grasping for straws as to where to go from here. to be honest, you didn't think you'd get this far, so you're at a complete loss.

"sorry, i feel like this feels really weird. i don't usually... sleep with my coworkers," you explain as you reach the bedroom.

genji's eyes are fixed on you, and despite having a clear view of them, you still can't tell what he's thinking. it proves to be very anxiety-inducing.

"i didn't think you did," he says.

"thanks? i think?" you reply, unsure of how else to react. "i'm going to warn you that this might actually go really, really badly, because i haven't slept with anyone in a while, and you kind of make me really nervous, and i also don't–"

you're cut off by genji moving closer to you and moving his hand towards your face. the action causes your words to vanish and your train of thought to come to a screeching halt. you stare at him with wide eyes as he moves a stray strand of hair from your face and brushes it behind your ear.

"i make you nervous?" he asks, an amused tone to his question. "you? nervous?"

you can feel heat rush to your cheeks, and you're hyper-aware of his hand lingering near your face, but despite this you try your best to sound cool. "yeah, i know, it's pretty hard to believe! but it's true."

genji laughs. "you're funny."

"i am?"

"yeah," he replies. his dark eyes are sparkling a bit, and although you can't see it, you can tell that he's smiling beneath the mask.

you look away from his face, your gaze falling to his hand. it's still in the air, close enough to your cheek that you can feel the warmth, but not quite touching you. he seems... strangely hesitant to touch you, so you decide to take the initiative.

genji's eyes widen a bit as you reach out and cup his face, brushing your thumb across the sleek metal of his mask.

"are you planning to keep this on?" you ask.

genji freezes in place, visibly caught off guard by your question. "i–"

you giggle at his reaction. "hey, no pressure. it doesn't matter to me. i'll still think you're hot either way."

"i fear you'll change your mind about that," he mutters.

you frown, unsure of what to say. "there really isn't anything that could make me change my mind about you, genji. but seriously, do whatever you're comfortable with."

he makes a quiet noise in response, and you can see in his eyes that he's thinking carefully about what to do. after a few seconds of silence, he holds your wrist and moves it away with one hand, then carefully removes his mask with the other. you can't help but stare, not only because you're surprised that he actually chose to remove his mask, but because he's even better looking than you had imagined– scars and all.

he looks at you, eyes filled with uncertainty, and clearly a bit uncomfortable.

"you're staring. sorry to disappoint. i can put it back on, if you'd prefer..." he says quietly, as if he's ashamed. it's sad, enough so to distract you from your mission of keeping things clean and simple.

you shake your head and wrap your arms around his neck, staring up at him with a reassuring smile. "i'd prefer if you didn't, actually. i can't believe you didn't tell me you were so good-looking underneath that mask."

"i... don't think that's a term i'd use. not anymore, at least," he says, not meeting your gaze. "but i'm glad that you think so."

genji hesitantly puts his hands on your hips, his eyes fixed on the logo on your hoodie. he doesn't seem to know how to react to your compliments, but there's a shy smile on his face nonetheless.

"i mean, i thought you were hot enough before. it never occurred to me that you could manage to be even hotter," you tell him with a smirk.

he looks up at you, blushing profusely, and you're filled with a sense of satisfaction. "i, um, didn't realize you felt so strongly about me."

you look away, deciding to ignore that comment, and begin to trail one of your hands from his neck to his collarbone, then down his abdomen, which was unfortunately covered by his clothes.

"well, the mask is off. that's one thing down," you say, toying with the hem of his hoodie. "just a few more to go."

genji doesn't hesitate to reach down and tug off the hoodie, discarding it on the floor. he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath, and he also wasn't wearing his usual metal plating. his right arm and part of his right upper torso are still made of flesh, as well as most of his midsection. the left side of his body is cybernetic, but it ends just above his hips. you find yourself staring at the intricate and seamless fusion of metal and muscle, your attention focusing in on the sharp outline of his hip bones.

a question pops into your head, but you don't have the audacity to say it out loud– is his dick cybernetic? the thought had never occurred to you before, but you also had never seen just how much of him was still made of skin and bone. honestly, it didn't matter to you either way, but it was an interesting thought. guess i'll find out soon, you think.

genji is staring at you with a strange look on his face, and you're suddenly worried you may have said something out loud.

"something wrong?" he asks. "you look... confused."

"i do?" you ask, surprised. "i was just... curious. about the cybernetic stuff. i've never really seen it up close."

"i see."

you walk over to the bed and climb on top of it, beckoning genji over to you. he follows, but stands still beside you.

"come here," you say, reaching for his hand. "i want a closer look."

he smirks and nods, quickly climbing into the bed and positioning himself on his knees between your legs. you trace the outline of his abs, running your fingers along the border of skin and metal, taking in every detail, and then you realize that he's staring at you again.

"what?" you ask.

"you're overdressed," he says. "i want to look at you, too."

"oh," you pause, realizing that you were in fact still (mostly) fully clothed. "you can take the hoodie off."

genji's hands immediately move to pull at your top. you reposition yourself to make it easier, and you watch as he tosses it into the now-growing pile on the floor alongside his own jacket.

you can hear his breathing grow shallow, and you look back up at him nervously. he's staring down at you with wide, dark eyes, with his hands clenched into fists atop his thighs.

"damn," he breathes. "you're... really the most attractive person i've met."

it's not as though you had notably low self-esteem or anything, but genji's reaction was far more than you expected, and the attention makes you feel embarrassed.

"that definitely feels like flattery, but i'll let it slide," you reply. you're mostly teasing him, but you're also kind of serious– 'most attractive person i've met' is an extremely bold statement to make, especially coming from someone with a track record like genji's.

"flattery? you really think so?" genji asks, seeming to be genuinely taken aback by the accusation.

"mm, it doesn't really matter," you reply, desperate to cut this conversation off before it derails. come on, y/n do not get your feelings involved in this, damn it.

genji leans over you, propping himself up with one arm and lifting your chin with the other. he stares at you with an intimidating intensity, but you can't bring yourself look away from him.

"i'm not that kind of man anymore," he says, his tone serious. you look down at his lips, and before you can form a response, he kisses you.

the kiss is just as intense as the stare he'd been giving you, and it takes a moment for you to register that it's even happening. once you kiss him back, it grows into something more needy. his tongue finds its way into your mouth, and you try your hardest to suppress a whine. you reach to tangle your fingers in his hair and subtly pull his body closer to yours, while genji cups your face with his free hand, the cool metal a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your cheeks.

the kiss seems to go on forever, progressively becoming more sensual. you're so lost in the moment that you temporarily forget that you need to breathe. eventually, both of you pull away for air, lips slightly puffed, and eyes half-open, filled with desire.

you press one of your hands against genji's chest, the other still toying with his hair. he's slumped against you, now leaning against his elbow instead of his hand. your body is flush against his, and you can feel his hard-on pressing against you. you softly grind your hips against him, creating just enough friction to cause you both to inhale sharply.

genji looks down at you, his eyes slowly grazing over your body. he sits up, leaning back on his haunches, looking as though he was deep in thought.

"genji?"

your voice doesn't draw his attention back to your face, but he responds, brows still furrowed. "yeah?"

"touch me," you tell him, almost begging. "please."

he smirks. "sure."

he leans back over you, his face so close to yours that you can see every detail of the scars that paint his skin. the two of you stare into each others eyes, and he pushes your underwear aside without even glancing down. his human hand cups your face, and the metal one assumes its position between your legs.

the sensation of cool, smooth metal against your clit elicits a gasp from you, and genji seems hesitant. he draws his hand back, staring down at it with a forlorn expression.

"sorry," he says. "i... kind of forgot."

you reach for his wrist and pull his hand back to where it had been, shaking your head.

"no, it's fine. you don't need to apologize," you tell him. he still looks unsure, but he doesn't argue.

genji toys with your clit with expert precision, and as much as you enjoy it, your patience starts to wane. as if he can tell, he directs his attention elsewhere, carefully and almost hesitantly inserting two of his fingers into you. you whimper at the feeling, clenching around the unfamiliar texture. it's an entirely new feeling– putting metal there was never something you thought to do, nor did you ever really imagine what it would feel like– but it's good. it's obvious that genji is worried he'll hurt you, or that you won't like it, and you have what you hope will be an easy solution to his concerns.

you bite your lip, looking up at him with your best 'fuck me' eyes, and let go of the restraint you were trying to show. you didn't want to look desperate, but clearly he needed more reassurance that you wanted this– that you wanted him. a string of swear words, interrupted by panting and lewd noises, leaves your mouth, and you rut your hips against his hand, urging him to go deeper.

it seems to work. the dark look that was lingering on genji's face was replaced with a spark, and his movements become more free, no longer limited by the shackles of his insecurity. his well-earned confidence starts to shine through, and you smile in satisfaction, but only for a moment. with genji now seemingly returned to his former playboy glory, you find yourself unable to think straight, too busy writhing under his touch, crying out his name and clenching at the sheets.

"i could get used to hearing you say my name like that," genji comments, a teasing grin on his face.

oh god, please shut up, you think. it was almost as if he wanted you to fall in love with him or something, which was definitely not a part of your plan– in fact, it was the exact opposite of what you wanted.

"don't... say– fuck," you want to tell him not to say things like that, but you're overwhelmed with the feeling of your fast-approaching orgasm. what unfortunate timing. "gonna cum."

genji picks up the pace, unable to decide if he wants to look at your face or at his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you. you attempt to clench your thighs together, though genji's body blocks the action, and as you come undone, he decides the best thing for him to look at is your expression.

you squirm beneath genji, eyes squeezed shuts and knuckles turning white from the force with which you're grasping at your bedsheets. he watches carefully, taking in every minute detail of the way you look when you cum, while still fucking his fingers into you as you ride out the high of your orgasm. once you still, he slides his fingers out, the matte grey now slick and shiny. you open your eyes just in time to watch him pop his fingers in his mouth. he looks back at you through half-lidded eyes, a devious smirk on his face as he watches your already blown-out pupils widen at his actions. to add icing to the cake, he licks his lips, and suddenly you think 'wow, i'd let him do anything to me'.

"god," you mutter, shifting awkwardly. you were trying to rub your thighs together at the thoughts coursing through your mind, but genji was in the way.

you trail your eyes along his body, coming to a halt at the bulge in his joggers. you reach for the waistband of his pants, tugging them down to the middle of his thigh, but the position he was sitting in prevented you from getting them any further. genji climbs off of the mattress and yanks his pants and boxers off himself, then proceeds to do the same with your underwear. the intensity of the hunger between the two of you was so thick it was almost physical, and you can't pull your eyes away from him.

to your surprise, his dick was made of flesh. not that you had any complaints either way– it was just unexpected. you take a moment to admire him, then reach out to pull him back into the bed with you. genji resumes his position between your legs, lifting them up so that your knees are at your chest. the two of you both look down, watching in anticipation as he slides inside of you. he slowly pushes himself in farther, continuing until he bottoms out.

you both moan, almost in sync, at the sensation, and make eye contact again. genji positions his arms on either side of your head and touches his forehead to yours, staring into your eyes, as you dig your nails into his shoulder. one of your hands finds its way back to his hair, gently tugging at the spiky black tufts, keeping him as close to you as you could.

it doesn't take long for genji to find a good rhythm, his thrusts deep and and on the slower side. each movement coaxes noises out of you– his name, mostly, but a few mewls and downright pornographic-sounding moans as well. he kisses you again, lustful and passionate, and slides his hand into your hair to cradle your head. he pulls away, trailing kisses from your jawline to your collarbone, a few of which will surely leave some faint marks. you're not worried about that though– the only person who'd have the gall to comment on it was cassidy, anyways.

"you sound so pretty," he mumbles into your neck.

your breath catches in your throat at his words, and your grip on his hair tightens slightly. he sounded so so hot, it sent a shiver down your spine. "mm," is the only response you can manage.

one particular thrust hits perfectly, and you short-circuit, digging your nails deep into genji's shoulder and whimpering his name. he lifts his head to look you in the eye, his eyes honing in on your lips. his movement becomes more insistent, and he kisses you again, muffling your moans.

for the next few minutes, the only sounds in the room were that of your needy whines, genji's panting and occasional grunts, and the soft skin-on-skin contact. genji was surprisingly much more gentle than you'd anticipated, affection dripping from every action. it was enough to make you start to feel a bit of regret about the whole 'one time only' spiel, but you couldn't really focus on that when he was looking at you, and touching you, and fucking you the way he was.

with the stimulation of genji inside of you, and the way he was purring praise and sweet nothings into your ear in between the barrage of kisses, it didn't take long for you feel your climax coming up. from the way genji was beginning to become more shaky and haphazard in his movements, you could tell the same was true for him.

"genji," you whisper. "i'm gonna cum."

he hums in response, furrowing his brow. "me too."

a few seconds of silence pass, and then genji looks... lost. "uh, where should i...?"

"wherever you want," you say, not really thinking. 'inside' was the first thing that came to mind, but that felt weird to say. was it weird to ask your coworker cum inside you? yeah, probably, but it couldn't be any weirder than the fact that you were having such intimate, needy sex with your coworker in the first place, right?

genji slows down and looks at you with wide eyes. "what? no preference?"

"um, i mean," you cut yourself off, biting your lip to suppress a moan. "i was gonna say inside, but like... up to you."

"are you serious? you want me to..."

so it was weird, you think, instantly regretting that you spoke. "do whatever you want."

genji stops moving, and you let out a pitiful involuntary whine.

"i'm asking, what do you want?"

does he want me to spell it out for him? you wonder. fuck it.

"i... want you to cum in me, genji," you say, looking him in the eye with a serious expression. you ignore the fact that your cheeks are almost literally burning, and also opt to ignore the little voice in your head chastising you for being so awkward.

a choked noise escapes him, and his face turns pink. he promptly hides himself in the crook of your neck again. after a few more thrusts, you can feel the burning pleasure of your orgasm reaching its peak, prompting you to cling tightly to genji. he leans back to watch, and as you clench around him, he loses his composure as well. a soft chorus of each others' names and 'fuck' fills the room as genji fucks you through your orgasm, neither of you breaking eye contact. genji leans in for another kiss as he cums. this time is somehow even more passionate than the others, and you immediately miss him when he leans back and pulls out.

you almost let an 'i love you' slip out, but immediately realize how stupid that would be, and opt to just shut your mouth entirely instead. a silence falls over the room, with the both of you breathing heavily and casting shy glances at one another as if you didn't just have passionate, unprotected sex. genji moves first, sliding into the bed beside you and propping his head up on his hand.

this is definitely going beyond what this was supposed to be, you tell yourself, but really, you're not mad about it. sure, the plan was originally for you guys to have meaningless sex and then pretend it never happened, but that plan started to crumble almost as soon as he walked through your door. you were still worried that you were reading too far into it– maybe he was like this with everyone he slept with.

"can i... be honest with you?" he asks. you nervously look over at him, an overwhelming sense of dread filling your stomach.

"yeah, of course," you reply casually. acting calm and collected when you were pretty sure you were about to hear something you really didn't want to hear was a trait you'd quickly adapted as an overwatch agent, and damn, were you thankful for it right now.

"i... haven't been with anyone in a long time," he admits. "like... since the accident."

you stay quiet. you're unsure of what to say, and you can tell he's not done talking, anyway.

"i couldn't fathom anyone wanting to be with me, considering... you know," genji sighs and averts his eyes. "i've liked you for so long, but i didn't think you'd be interested in me at all. i'm... barely even human."

you're still quiet, trying your best to process what he's saying.

"oh, yeah, sorry. i know you said this was a one time thing, and that's fine. i just thought you should know that you treating me like a person... and making me feel wanted... it means a lot," he continues. "even if it was just sex, i enjoy being around you."

"i'm... really in over my head," you mutter, mostly to yourself. "this is really unexpected, honestly. like, all of it. everything."

genji's face falls, and you realize that you misspoke. he shifts uncomfortably and starts to sit up, obviously preparing to leave. you reach for his arm, wrapping your hand carefully around the metal.

"not unwelcome, just unexpected. i... didn't want to get feelings involved because i was sure they wouldn't be returned," you explain. "you seemed kind of unapproachable. i was taking a shot in the dark."

genji laughs a little. "i seem to give that impression. it's not really the case... or at least, not with you."

you gently pull him back to your side, holding his face in your hands and giving him a quick kiss. you can't find the words to convey the emotions you feel, so you hope that touch would suffice. he presses his forehead against yours and wraps an arm around your waist, and the two of you just lay there, basking in each others' presence. this was... an unplanned turn of events, but you were much happier with this outcome.

"hmm. so much for the whole 'no strings attached' thing, huh?" you say quietly. "looks like there's definitely strings. lots of them."

genji laughs again, and you find your heart skipping a beat at the look on his face. yeah, there were so many strings tethering this man to your heart. you wanted to tell yourself that weren't sure how exactly you ended up like this, but the moment you saw him take off his mask and show you his most well-kept secret, you knew there was much more than sexual attraction there, and that there was no going back.

"thank you," genji says, pulling you out of your trance. "for... overlooking my flaws, liking me as i am. you're truly the most beautiful person i know."

you smile at him, feeling your heart quite literally melt at the way he's looking at you.

"you're beautiful, genji," you tell him. and he was. the scars and metal that made up his body weren't flaws– they were a part of him, therefore they were beautiful, too. they weren't something you had to overlook to find him captivating, but you'd tell him all about that at another time.

#genji shimada x reader #overwatch x reader #genji x reader

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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months

Text

HAZBIN MASTERLIST

Disclaimer; let it be known that I do not enjoy Viv as a person. However I cannot deny that as the show stands, without taking any of the creators in it into consideration, I do enjoy it. I find that it may be better for me mentally to just let the brainrot happen rather than suppress it. With that said, let's get to the Masterlist!

Like the other lists, you can find all the appropriate links here! Remember to check my bio for status updates on requests

If any of the links are incorrect let me know!

As of April 1st 2024 this list is complete

CHARLIE:

Platonic charlie x sleepy!fallen angel!reader

Trope 1 w/ charlie

B c d with charlie

ANGEL DUST:

Angel Dust x fallen seraphim!reader

J K X w/ Angel

VAGGIE:

Vaggie x anxious!reader

HUSK:

Valentines w/ Husk

Husk x entertainer!reader

Platonic husk w/ reader seeing him as a father figure

Prompts 2 and 9 for husk

Husk resting his head on your lap

Husk trying to talk the reader out of asking out alastor

SIR PENTIOUS:

Snuggling w/ a warm reader

Valentine's w/ Sir Pentious

General fluff hcs

Sir Pentious x Gardener!reader

Sir Pentious x inventor!reader

Sir pentious x powerful but uninterested!reader

Sir pentious defending the reader

Trope 3 w/ Sir pentious

Prompt 1 w/ pentious

Sir pentious x flirty!reader

Platonic sir pentious x demon kid reader

C k p with sir pentious

Redeemed pentious x angel reader

Pentious x anxious reader

Q-Z + bonus prompt with pentious

Tropes 1-4 with sir pentious

A-P with sir pentious

Pentious x slasher fan!reader

Pentious x oc (raffle winner)

Pentious bring comforted by oc (raffle winner)

Pentious x dancer!reader

ALASTOR:

Valentines w/ Alastor

Alastor x high energy!fighter!reader

Resting your head on Alastors lap

Alastor and the reader dancing

Alastor x reader like rosie

Prompts 5 and 7 w/ alastor

Prompts 8 and 12 w/ alastor

K c p with alastor

A J I with alastor

Alastor x reader who loves touch

Platonic alastor x quiet child!reader

36 38 40 with alastor

LUCIFER:

Platonic father figure!lucifer x reader

Platonic Lucifer x fallen angel!reader

Baking apple cookies for Lucifer

Z with Lucifer

I R Y with Lucifer

W with Lucifer

ADAM:

Y J I for adam

A and c for adam

Adam x male!giant!seraphim!teader

♡ and T for Adam

Z for adam

N and P for Adam

Reader finding out about the exterminations

Adam reacting to Lucifer flirting with the reader

Adam x reader w/ chronic hanahaki

Adam x feminine trans male reader

Prompts 32 and 38 with Adam

Platonic adam x angel!kid!reader who is missing a wing

LUTE:

3 11 36 with Adam

L for adam

C I J for Lute

Y U Z with lute

C E I for lute but its post season 1 finale

A L T with lute

Lute x cupid!reader

Prompt 38 with Lute

Prompts 6 and 10 with lute

VOX:

Valentine's w/ vox

Platonic vox x kid!hyperactive!reader

Vox x influencer!reader

A l q with vox

Platonic father figure vox x AFAB!reader

Vox x reader who watches kids cartoons

CHERRI BOMB:

C K X for cherri bomb

Cherri x autistic!reader

ROSIE:

A L R w/ Rosie

36 38 40 with rosie

MULTI:

Adam x reader x lute but lute is jealous

Adam and Lute x kind!angel!reader

Charlie vaggie and angel celebrating valentines

Platonic adam and rosie x hyper!kid!reader

Making heart shaped cookies for the cast 1/?

Hugging the cast 1/?

Heart shaped cookies part 2/?

Hugging the cast part 2/?

Adam and Lucifer x reader who likes watching kids shows

Platonic Charlie, vaggie, and angel dust x new sinner!reader

Verosika, vox, chaz, barbie, lute and striker being called pookie bear by their partner

Various HH characters x autistic reader

Angel, husk, alastor, and pentious x kind sinner!reader

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin imagine #charlie morningstar x reader #angel dust x reader #vaggie x reader #husk x reader #husker x reader #alastor x reader #radio demon x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #adam x reader #lute x reader #vox x reader #sir pentious x reader

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toomuchracket · 4 months

Text

secret admirer (dad!ross x reader fluff)

day 1 of valentine's week by bff @abiiors!! in this one... the kids want to know how you and ross got together. cute as shit. enjoy <3

it's at dinnertime when you're first asked the question.

ross is quietly coaxing keir to finish his peas, to minimal success. eilidh swallows a mouthful of gravy-soaked mash and turns to look at you curiously. “mummy… how did you and dad meet?”

“you already know, bean,” you take a sip of your wine and smile at her. “met dad and your uncles when i helped design the stage for one of their first shows.”

ross takes a break from lecturing your son about the merits of eating your five-a-day to look at you and wink. there's a warmth in those dark eyes of his - the same one that got you hooked on him in the first place, actually - and you know he's thinking about that fateful first meeting too. “yeah, when i had to save mum, eilidh,” he chuckles. “from matty talking about his vision at a hundred miles an hour. her eyes were proper glazed over and everything, you know.”

“they still go like that when he talks to you now sometimes, mummy,” keir adds, still pushing peas around his plate. his dad and sister laugh, while your jaw falls open at the fact you've been clocked by your four year old.

he's not wrong, though.

eilidh's giggles fade into soft hums. “but how did you end up being boyfriend and girlfriend?”

ross’s eyes meet yours again. he smirks, taking a sip of his own wine. “d'you want to tell the story, love?” he asks, foot sliding up your leg under the table, flirty. “or shall i tell them how i swept you off your feet?”

“oh, is that what it was?” you tease, trapping his leg between your own.

“of course.”

you laugh. “you and i remember it differently, then. but alright,” you stretch, shuffling in your seat before looking at your kids’ anticipated little faces. “here's what happened…”

2013

“should we do something different for valentine's day?”

you turn to look incredulously at matty, exhaling your cigarette smoke. “is further context required there, or are you asking me out? because absolutely not, if so.”

“oh, charming. thank god i see you as a little sister and no more,” matty winces, taking a drag of his own cigarette before he speaks again. “i mean for the show on the 14th. we could do, like, pink lighting instead of white, or something.”

you hum. “i don't hate the idea. but i think sticking with the black and white thing is maybe a good idea for now. cohesion, recognition, establishing identity as you gear up to release the album, all that jazz, yeah?”

“good point.”

“i do like the pink, though. maybe we could do something with it in the future?”

“yeah. i'll keep it in mind. usual staging it is, then,” matty turns to face you, resting a shoulder on the brick wall. “so, given that you've theoretically rejected me…

you roll your eyes.

“... who are you seeing on valentine's day?”

“nobody. we've got a gig, remember?” you ash your cigarette glumly. “i'll be selling t-shirts with your face on them up the back of the venue all night.”

“and i love you - platonically - for that,” your friend grins. “but what about after the show?”

“after?”

“yeah.”

you ponder. “probably just going home to shower off the residual weed smell i'll inevitably take on, to be honest.”

matty laughs; his face drops when he realises you're not kidding. “oh. you're serious.”

“mhmm.”

“but,” he looks baffled. “you're twenty-three. you're cute, objectively. you're sweet. you're fun. there's really nobody you want to spend valentine's day with?”

well… your lips part of their own accord as if to speak; you quickly snap them shut before you make a sound. no. you can't tell anyone. especially matty, of all people.

apparently, though, you don't close your mouth fast enough - your friend notices, and giggles, eyes lighting up. “who is he? go on, tell me. promise i won't tell anyone, honest.”

“not a chance.”

“pleeeeeeeeeease?”

“no, matthew,” you take a final drag of your cigarette before stamping it out. “i'm never telling anyone, because it'll never go anywhere between me and him anyway, and thus i am perfectly fine just letting the crush i have fade without acting on it. i'll develop another one soon, anyway.”

no you won't. you've never fancied someone as much in your life as you fancy…

“there you are. was wondering where you'd gotten to, matty,” ross wanders round the side of the building, relief evident on his face. it seems to light up when he sees you, but that's most likely your brain playing tricks on you. “oh. hiya, love. didn't know you were in today, s'nice to see you.”

love?!

shut up. it's ross. he calls everyone that, dipshit.

you clear your throat. “hi, ross. s'nice to see you too. you look… well.”

you pray neither of the boys noticed the awkward pause while you came up with an alternative for “devastatingly attractive”, or that your voice didn't sound as small and squeaky as it sounded to you.

thankfully, neither of them mention it. ross just smiles, and all you can do is focus on not squealing at how cute his dimples are. “thanks. you look good. hair's nice like that.”

“oh,” you self-consciously touch the ponytail you hastily shoved your hat-messy hair into earlier. “thank you.”

he smiles again. “so, what are you gonna develop another of? were you talking about work?”

you say “yes” at the same time the gobshite next to you says “yeah, but then we moved onto talking about how she has no valentine's day plans but she also won't tell whoever she has a crush on that she wants to shag them because she thinks it’s unrequited.”

for fuck's sake.

sighing, you facepalm. ross blinks. “fair enough.”

“you don't think she should tell him?” matty looks aghast.

“what i think is that you should stop pestering her about it,” ross looks pointedly at matty, then turns to you. “but - and i don't want to overstep the mark here, love…”

“no, no, it's fine.”

“... you’ll never get what you really want unless you ask for it,” he finishes, a pleasant smile on his face. “what have you got to lose by doing so, anyway?”

this. our friendship. potentially my job, if i fuck it up enough.

“yeah, i suppose,” you murmur hesitantly. “i'll consider it.”

and you do - in fact, you're still considering it when you next see ross, during setup for the gig on the big day itself. he appears when you're pushing the box light into position on the tiny stage, quickly laying down his bass to run and help you, despite your protests that you've got everything under control.

seeing his arms flex as he works, though, and the way the stark white light somehow manages to warm up those dark eyes? you most definitely do not. still, you refuse to say anything to him then. or before the show, when he automatically passes you a beer so you can be included in the pre-gig cheers. or afterwards, when he risks being pounced upon by drunken fans just so he can help you pack up the merch stall, cracking jokes despite his tiredness.

it's only when you're loading the boxes of t-shirts into adam's car that you actually start to think that mentioning the crush to ross might not be a bad thing. you close the boot with a weary sigh, turning to face ross and high-five him - like you always do - with gratitude. and then he does something… strange.

he hugs you.

it's not a long hug, and definitely one of the “thanks, mate” variety, but still. it's not a common thing to happen between the two of you, ross’s arms wrapping around your shoulders and your waist and pulling you into his chest. it's warm. cosy. safe. and as soon as he lets go, you miss him.

before you get a chance to dwell on that, though, he speaks. “you coming to the pub with us now?”

“us?” your brow furrows. “who's us?”

“everyone except adam and waughy,” ross grins. “you're not the only one with no valentine's plans, love,” his face contorts into panic. “wait, fuck, i just assumed, because you said last week-”

“ross, relax, babe,” you smile, beating yourself up internally for the way the pet name just slipped out; you blame the joy that fizzed up in your stomach when he essentially admitted he's single. “i'm coming to the pub.”

he smiles again, relief evident in his eyes. “alright. good. i think we'll have a good night.”

you do, actually, despite matty monologuing the whole walk there about “you should just phone that guy you like and tell him. for the love of god, at least one of us needs to pull tonight. s'depressing if we don't”. it's actually george who manages that first, disappearing after the first round with a redhead and returning, lipstick-stained and gleefully dazed, half an hour later. matty's next, chatting up girls at the bar and collecting phone numbers by the handful, pointing out vaguely handsome men to you with “yes? no? maybe?” to no avail.

ross doesn't pull at all.

not for lack of trying from the female clientele in the pub, though - every time he leaves the table, you watch heads turn in his direction, and some bodies following. envy tinges your vision green whenever a girl approaches him, but you needn't worry; no matter how pretty or persistent or personable the girls are, ross politely chats as he waits for the drinks, bids them goodbye, and comes back to you. well, to the table. where he sits next to you.

it makes you feel good. so good, in fact, that you decide to tell him how you feel, right then and there. you take another sip of your wine - dutch courage and all - and rest your elbow on the table and your head on your hand, facing ross. “i'm glad i came out tonight.”

“so am i,” he mirrors your pose, smiling. god, you love his dimples. “it's been a good night.”

“yeah. not a bad valentine's day at all.”

ross giggles. “as good as it gets for singles,” he takes a sip of his pint, then looks at you a bit more seriously. “you spoken to that guy yet? the one you like?”

you bite down a giggle, shaking your head. “d'you think i should? ask him out?”

“if you really like him, yeah.”

“but,” you look down at the table, absentmindedly running your index finger round the rim of your glass. “what if he doesn't like me?”

“why wouldn't he?” ross's voice is soft - so are his eyes, you look up to discover. “you're great.”

“really?”

he nods. “really great.”

your heart glows. your face does the same. “thank you, ross.”

he shrugs. “i'm just telling the truth, love. now,” he grins, tapping your phone. “ask him.”

bless him.

you exhale, smiling. “alright,” you turn round to compose yourself, then look back at ross with a smile. “would you like to go for dinner with me?”

for a second, you falter as ross's brow furrows. “what, now? like a kebab- oh,” his jaw drops, and he blinks a few times. “really? it's me that you have a crush on?”

“yeah,” you bite the inside of your cheek, nervous. “is that… really bad?”

“hmm? no, no, not at all! just surprising, s'all,” ross takes your free hand in his own. he looks dazed, but he's genuinely smiling. “i had no idea you liked me like that.”

“and here i was thinking i was doing a shit job at hiding it.”

ross laughs, softly stroking the back of your hand with his thumb; warmth erupts under your skin wherever he touches. he looks at you, so tenderly you want to look away. “yes.”

your turn to be confused. “yes i was doing a shit job at hiding my crush on you? or…?”

“no, love,” ross chuckles, squeezing your hand. “yes, i'd love to go for dinner with you. tomorrow too soon?”

you feel weightless, joyous, positively giddy. but you have to stay cool, so you simply beam at him. “tomorrow's perfect.”

present day

“...so, we went for dinner - pasta, before you ask, keir - and that was it. dad said he wanted to be my boyfriend before we'd even gotten to the tiramisu,” you smile at the memory. “and then we were like that for a while, and then we got married, and then we had you two. and now, here we are.”

“that's it?” keir frowns at you, then looks up at his dad. “but you said you swept mum off her feet.”

ross snorts, ruffling his son's hair. “yeah, not literally, keeks. i just meant that she was very impressed by me.”

“i don't get it.”

“well, ask matty to explain metaphors to you when you next see him, then.”

you wince (ross laughs at that), turning to your daughter, preoccupied with petting ash the cat, who climbed onto her lap halfway through your talk. “thoughts, eils?”

“hmm,” she makes a face. “it's not a very exciting story, mum.”

“cute, though, no?”

“kind of, i guess.”

“wow, you two are hard to impress,” you sigh, turning to ross and smiling despite your kids’ boredom. “worked out well for us, though, didn't it?”

“absolutely, love. couldn't have worked out any better,” ross leans over the table to kiss you; you return it with relish.

“ewwwwwwww! gross!”

“dad, please don’t do that to mum in front of me ever again.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #dad!ross #eilidh #keir #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald fanfiction #ross macdonald fanfic #ross macdonald fic #ross macdonald fluff #ross x reader #valentine75

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hellfirenacht · 1 month

Text

Wing Man Part 9

Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: You and Eddie go on your first date, but the past always lingers. 6.5 words

(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8)

Note: Y'all get to be a little horny in this one. As a treat <3 Also the poll results said you don't mind small details of what you all are wearing, and that you wanted to dress moderately slutty so I tried to keep that in mind. Enjoy!

Eddie kept his promise. For the next few days the two of you found yourself talking on the phone a lot between work shifts, band practice, and school. Late night talks became the norm, the two of you spending your evenings opening up to each other bit by bit.

You told him about Family Video and gave him the scoop of which of his peers were renting from the back rooms, and he told you about his own shifts at the Hideout and about the weird things his drunk usuals would say. Bev had been giving him shifts again, which was at least a small steady income compared to his usual dealings.

The next Tuesday you had gone to the Hideout with Eddie, this time with him picking you up and dropping you off after. It wasn’t a date, not exactly. It was just two people who had an interest in each other hanging out with other people. Eddie had said the main reason it wasn’t a date was because he was technically working, and he didn’t want your first official date to have his band mates tagging along. Of course, that didn’t stop them from giving him knowing looks and giving him shit whenever your back was turned. Eddie would carefully keep tabs on how often they would do it, and would make them pay later during their campaign.

That was fine with you, you were still more than happy to just spend time with Eddie and learn more about him. Watching him play guitar was mesmerizing and it was nice to be able to gawk at him in peace during his set without Steve telling you to close your mouth and stop drooling.

After the set and dropping everyone else at home, the two of you had spent another two hours in his van just talking. Now that everything was out in the open, that awkwardness that had been between the two of you had faded into nothing. You found that talking to Eddie was as easy as talking to Steve, and you loved hearing about all of his stories from Hellfire and hearing him talk about his music.

The only reason the two of you didn’t stay up until morning parked in front of your apartment building was because Eddie was reminded by you that he was still in school and needed to get some sleep for class the next day. When you kissed his cheek again before sliding out of his van he made a mental note to beg Bev to go on with Corroded Coffin on a Friday or Saturday for once.

Halloween was on a Thursday this year, and you had made it very clear to Keith that you were not going to be working that night, or the next day. You had saved up all your bartering chips of overtime and days where you came in when anyone else couldn’t. You had put in your time off request three months in advance.

Work could have you any other day of the week, but Halloween was yours and yours alone. You’d work Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Arbor Day, and Groundhog Day. You’d forgo Easter Sunday, New Years Eve and Day, and you wouldn’t bat an eye at Valentines day. But Halloween? That was yours and yours alone.

It was the one day out of the year that you felt like you could be you. Even after the monster that is Hawkins High tried to strip you of being yourself, you pushed through and came out the other side of graduation with a new determination to never water yourself down again. You worked your ass off to save for your own run down apartment, to find clothing that you loved and not just what your peers told you to wear to blend in.

If you wanted to show up to a shift on Halloween dressed as Han Solo with a Teddy Bear, you damn well could and no one could stop you. Not even Keith.

But lucky for you, when the schedule for the week was posted that Monday, your name was thankfully cleared for Thursday and Friday. Keith could handle himself for those two morning shifts, and Robin and Steve could handle the evenings. It’s not like Family Video was really busy or open late on Thursday nights and you trusted Steve and Robin to handle the Friday rush.

You woke up that Thursday feeling like it was your own personal Christmas. You took your time to wake up, have breakfast and get ready for the day. You almost called Eddie before you remembered that it was still a weekday and he would be in school. Besides, it would be weird to call him before your first date, right?

Steve had given you a crash course on first dates over your shared shifts. His advice was a mixed bag to say the least. Every time he gave you insight into the male mind on how to act or dress or talk on a first date he would then backtrack when he remembered who he was talking to and who this first date was with.

“Listen, you got this far by being a weirdo.” Steve had finally said after the conversation had basically gone nowhere. “I guess keep talking about eating bats and fake being drunk and you’ll get the guy.”

“You know, when you put it like that I’m starting to see why maybe this whole casual dating thing hasn’t worked for me in the past.” you had replied.

Most of your Halloween was spent by yourself, but that wasn’t a bad thing. You started off with a nice slow morning of carving your annual jack o'lantern, having learned the hard way to not put it out early, lest it rot or be smashed by asshole kids in the neighborhood. The afternoon was spent around town, just taking in the crisp fall air and the decorations set up by all of the shops..

The hypocrisy in this town was stunning sometimes. Every other day of the year you had been followed by whispers of the Satanic Panic and any idea that something other than the norm might be related to something more nefarious was ostracized. Sometimes you could understand where the fear was coming from, after all the Byers kid had disappeared, presumed dead, and then had come back all within a week a few years ago. Barbara Holland had been killed by chemicals in the Hawkins Lab. There was even the fire at the mall that had killed the police chief, as well as the local lifeguard. It seemed like every single year some new tragedy would strike the small town.

You couldn’t wait to run away to somewhere else.

But for now, the day was yours and the night was Eddie’s. Your stomach flipped every time you thought about meeting up with him tonight. You had built up this production a lot over the past few days. You had seen the shadow cast about once a month since you were old enough to go at 18, give or take a few times where you had other plans.

Each time you had gone, you had checked the board hoping to see the announcement that they would be opening auditions to be part of the cast or crew. But the show was tight knit, and that rarely happened.

But at least that meant that tonight you could share something with Eddie other than your origami. Not that you were embarrassed by your hobby, but compared to running a D&D campaign and being in a band, it didn’t feel like much.

You never seemed to run out of things to talk about with Eddie though, during your late night talks on the phone. When you weren’t captivated by his tales of running Hellfire or the inspiration for his music, you two would talk about everything else. Music, movies, the occasional small town gossip, anything you two could think of. You had already compiled a small list of movies that only one of you had seen, because all new relationships always start with “What do you mean you haven’t seen this movie?!”

That’s how you and Steve and Robin had bonded over those first few months. It probably wouldn’t be that much different with Eddie.

After a long stroll through the town, a quick stop in to your favorite coffee shop for a treat, and a bout of window shopping in the Halloween aisles of local stores, you made your way home. You considered dropping by the high school to see Eddie as the afternoon came to a close, but you didn’t want to seem desperate. You’d see him soon enough anyway.

As the evening went on, you popped in a few thematically appropriate movies that you watched between doing your hair and make up and passing out candy to kids who came up to your door. You may or may not have saved some of the best candy for yourself. And Eddie. He liked Snickers right? You hoped he did.

You were ready a good two hours before you needed to meet him at the theater at midnight. You were starting to wish that you had invited him over to pre-game before the movie, but unfortunately you had listened to some of Steve’s advice and were left sitting around in your fishnets and dark lipstick for your first date with Eddie. The only thing you weren’t wearing yet were your tall boots which you only broke out for this showing because they were too uncomfortable to wear anywhere else.

Steve had relented that you were going to dress weird for the date, considering the day and the nature of what you and Eddie were doing, but he said it’d be too weird to get ready with him.

You decided that next time would be different. Next year, you’d have Eddie over all day, and the two of you would spend the day carving pumpkins and listening to music and arguing over what movie to watch as you passed out candy. Eddie would probably be stingy with the candy so that there would be leftovers for the two of you at the end of the night, and you’d be giving bars out by the handfuls. Maybe the two of you would cough up the dough for some full sized candy bars for kids with really fun costumes and-

What were you doing? You weren’t even officially dating yet, the first date hadn’t even happened! You were getting ahead of yourself, and thinking way too far ahead. You didn’t need to be thinking these domestic thoughts about a guy you barely knew.

Get your shit together. You scolded yourself. Let’s try and go on one date first, then maybe have dirty thoughts about him and then I can have mushy domestic thoughts about him if things go well.

You were really hoping things went well.

After around 10 pm the trick-or-treaters tapered off and you dumped the remaining candy in your bag for the movie. Your hand itched for the phone around 10:30, your brain telling you that it was getting late and that you should call Eddie now if you wanted to talk to him before bed, and you reminded yourself that you’ll see him in an hour.

The hour could not go any slower.

“Steve, I’m freaking out.” you said into the phone the second he picked up. “What the fuck am I doing?!”

“You’re going on a date with Eddie Munson to a midnight showing of a movie that has no plot.” he yawned.

You resisted the urge to hang up on him and instead paced around your living room, holding onto the phone.

“Steve, I’m serious!”

“So am I, the more you talk about the movie the less sense it makes.”

You lightly smacked your head against the wall. “How do you do this every week with different girls?! I’m going on one date and I feel too damn antsy.”

The chord to your phone stretched to its limit as you walked towards your bookshelf and pulled out your senior year yearbook, flipping through it.

“Dating is like any other skill, you have to practice and actually do it to be any good.” Steve sighed into the phone.

“I hate that.” you said, looking through the Ms. Maddison... Morrison.... Munson.

No photo available, what the actual fuck? You flipped through the book, to the club section but there was no trace or whisper of the Hellfire Club at all in the 1984 Hawkins High yearbook.

“This was your idea.” Steve reminded you as you pushed the book away and reached for 1983’s yearbook.

“And? I have a lot of ideas and not all of them are good.” You flipped through the book, trying to find Eddie’s name and photo. Why hadn’t you thought of this before?

“So... are you chickening out, again?” You could hear the mild annoyance in his voice.

“No! I’m just... I’m just nervous, alright? I haven’t been on a date since Junior year. Wait no, there was that horrible study date in Senior year. It’s been a while okay?” you groaned.

You scanned the Ms again, stopping for a split second to snicker at Chris Morrison’s horrible yearbook photo. His hair was an unfortunate overgrown sandy haircut that looked like a bad mix of a mullet and a bowl cut, with a fringe that fell in his gray eyes. His face was stoic and he looked like he wanted to kill whoever was in charge of the camera.

A few photos later was Eddie Munson’s Junior year photo. Somehow seeing his face in your yearbook made your shoulders relax a little bit. You at least could confirm that you had indeed gone to school with him. His face was softer looking, and his hair fell just below his jawline.You saw a peak of his Hellfire shirt, the same one in Chris’s photo. He was smiling, well as best as a teenage boy who doesn’t want to get his photo taken would smile. It was endearing, and something in the back of your mind started nagging at you that this Eddie looked more familiar.

“Hello? Anyone home?”

You snapped back to reality, remembering that you were on the phone with Steve. “Yeah, sorry I got distracted. What was that?”

“I said you shouldn’t be nervous.” Steve repeated. “You like him. He likes you. It’s not that complicated. He wouldn’t have shown up that night if he didn’t have an interest in you.”

“Oh, but what if it is that complicated, Stevie?” You sighed dramatically. “After all, the three of us seem to be horribly unlucky in love.”

“You’re telling me.” Steve admitted. “Three dozen dates later and I’m still looking for that spark.”

Steve had been head over heels for Nancy Wheeler, and had his heart crushed. You hadn’t had any luck in love ever, with only a few failed dates under your belt from high school, and two one-night stands. Robin... you couldn’t get a read on her. She seemed to have a crush on someone, and Steve definitely knew who it was but they weren’t telling you. It hurt a little, but you knew that the two had a bond that you wouldn’t be able to touch. If Robin wanted to tell you, she would.

Okay, you did ask and make sure that the person she was crushing on wasn’t Eddie. The last thing you wanted was to date someone who your friend had feelings for. Thankfully, Robin had quickly cleared up that she didn’t even know Eddie and therefore can confidently say that she had absolutely no feelings for the guy, romantic or otherwise.

Steve spent the next half hour calming you down and talking to you as you flipped through your high school yearbooks, picking out Eddie’s photo in each one. There was even a small blurb about the Hellfire Club in your freshman yearbook. As you delved deeper in time, his hair got shorter and shorter, and he looked more and more familiar.

Where did you know this guy from?

When the clock struck 11 pm, you said your goodbye to Steve, checked yourself out in the mirror one last time, and made your way to the theater.

It was twenty minutes until show time when you parked your car and made your way into the lobby. The yellow lights illuminated the crowd of people who had shown up for the annual midnight screening, and you took a deep breath as you scanned the crowd.

Just for tonight, you felt like you could breathe.

Freaks and weirdos from all over had come together for a night of sex jokes, aliens, music, and yelling at a screen. The room was filled with people covered in leather, and lingerie and costumes from both the show and other media. There were a few familiar faces, and you spotted two people that you recognized from the shadow cast in the corner. They looked... upset. Not at each other, you recognized the way they were talking to each other. You and Steve and Robin had given each other the same looks before when Keith had fucked up the schedule or a customer pissed one of you off.

Whatever was the matter, the two quickly finished their bitch session and made their way back into the theater. You wondered what that was about, but didn’t have time to think about it too hard because a hand fell on your shoulder.

Your breath caught in your throat when you turned around to see your date. Eddie’s hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, which really showed his jawline and really long neck you wondered what the square of his jaw would feel like against your lips. He hadn’t ditched his battle vest or leather jacket you weren’t complaining and he was wearing a cropped shirt . You had to force yourself to not look at his exposed midriff you’ve never wanted to bite someone’s hips before holy shit, or note the fine trail of hair just below his belly button that dipped into his dark ripped jeans where a peak of blue boxers were peaking out. Did he taste as good as he looked?! He had swapped out a few of his rings, but the obsidian one on his right hand stayed, and the chains on his jacket, bracelet and wallet made a noise with every movement he made. What would that sound like if he was on top of you?

A small voice in the back of your mind told you that Dustin Henderson could rent any movie he ever wanted ever forever as long as you worked Family Video.

You pushed those sudden X rated feelings down, and smiled up at him. “Hey, I’m glad you made it.” you managed to say, tongue tied as you thought about what you’d rather your tongue suddenly be doing-

Eddie’s eyes drifted down your outfit in the same way that you were sure you had just looked at him. The idea that he might also be thinking similar thoughts about you made your heart race before he turned away. He was now looking around the lobby with wide eyes, taking in all the different people his expression was somewhere between elation and disbelief.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many freaks in person.” he said, his eyes darting around to the crowds of people.

“You aren’t at Hawkins High and these aren’t children.” you said, watching his expression. “It’s why I like coming here each month. I get to meet people who are more like me.”

Eddie took in the scene, and you took in Eddie. Horny thoughts aside, you wondered how often he got to see people who weren’t cut from the standard Hawkins cookie cutter. From what he’d told you during your late night calls, his social circle was tiny. His only friends were in Hawkins, except for one Ronnie Ecker.

You had escaped the monster that was Hawkins High School, even if you were still stuck in the beast of a town. You didn’t have much room to judge his smaller group when Steve and Robin were the only ones who you reliably hung out with on a regular basis. Even then, you knew that the two of them had a connection that went deeper than just coworkers and people who went to school together.

Did Eddie have someone that he connected with the same way Robin and Steve did? There were so many things about him that you still wanted to know about him.

A voice called your name, and your eyes lit up as you saw Robin and Steve walking over to the two of you. Excitement then shifted to confusion, wait, what were they doing here? Did they come here to crash your date? That didn’t seem right, not after Steve had put in so much effort into making sure that this date actually happened.

You and Robin hugged and Steve gave a slightly awkward hello. Eddie was looking between you and your two friends, looking just as confused as you felt.

“Hey, Robin!” you said, trying to figure out what was going on. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You invited us a month ago, remember?” Robin asked. “You made a big deal about dragging us to the Halloween showing this year and Steve and I got tickets. But don’t worry! We know this is a date so me and Steve are going to sit at the opposite side of the theater and make sure that we don’t bother you. Of course, Steve said that we shouldn’t come but we had already bought the tickets and I wanted to come and see this again.”

Oh... oh shit. Right. You had done that, hadn’t you? Before you and Steve had even started this whole thing, you had been bugging him to come see it with you. Robin had come and done it once with you earlier at the end of Summer, but Steve hadn’t been able to make it.

In a sea of lingerie, leather, and sequins, Steve stood out like a sore thumb in his yellow sweater and tall hair. For once, he looked like the odd one out. Robin had always had a slightly edgier style, and with her sharpied black nails and chain necklaces, she fit right in.

You were going to give Steve so much shit for it later.

“Look, I didn’t expect us to actually come out tonight until Robin called and demanded I pick her up.” Steve said, apologetically.

“I see what’s going on.” Eddie spoke up, looking between the three of you. “Mom and Dad are here to chaperone your first date.”

You threw your head back and cackled at the joke, laughing unabashedly.

“Steve’s the single mom with six kids.” Robin said. “But I’m not Dad, I’m more like the cool weird aunt.”

“‘Why am I always the mom?!” Steve demanded.

“Because you have six kids, Steve, keep up.” you pointed out. “But we all know Dustin’s your favorite.”

“I’m telling Wheeler.” Eddie chimed in.

“I’m not the mom, I’m the babysitter!”

“You literally gave Max lunch money two weeks ago.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“Oh look! They’re starting to tag the Virgins!” You suddenly said excitedly.

Steve and Eddie stopped and stared at you, as your eyes darted to the two cast members that you had seen earlier. Whatever they had been bitching about was now put aside, and they were now walking around, each holding a bright red tube of lipstick. They had approached some guy and drew a giant V on their forehead.

“Right, I didn’t really tell you about this.” you explained. “So at each showing, if you’ve never seen the movie in theaters you’re called a ‘virgin’. So, there’s a bit of a hazing ritual for newcomers. They call it the Virgin Sacrifice here. Basically, they draw a V on your forehead, and then before the show starts they’ll have the Virgins come up on stage, do some sort of dare or task, and then the movie starts.”

“How bad is it?” Steve asked as Robin grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the cast members.

“It’s usually not that bad.” You said. “When I was a Virgin Sacrifice a few years ago they had me ‘Pledge Allegiance to the Lips’ and taught me how to do the Time Warp on stage while the sprayed me with silly string.”

“When I went they had all of us blow up a bunch of red balloons and then hit them with thumb tacks when they were still in our mouths.” Robin laughed. “They called it ‘The Great Cherry Popping’.”

“Oh my God, I remember that one guy had crazy lung capacity and blew up like, ten in a row!” you cackled.

“What do you think they’ll have us do?” Eddie asked, and for a second your brain froze as you felt his hand wrap around yours as you started to approach the cast members. You could feel the metal of his rings, warmed by his skin, pressing into yours.

“They always mix it up every month so it’s hard to say.” you said. “But they always go crazy for the Virgin Sacrifices on Halloween.”

“Got a fresh Virgin for you!” Robin says, shoving Steve in front of the Columbia actress who looked Steve up and down as if she were going to eat him.

“Aww, a cute little Virgin just for me?!” she squealed. “You shouldn’t have! Come here, Big Boy.”

Steve didn’t have much time to react as a large V was placed on his forehead with the lipstick. He didn’t seem to mind, however, when Columbia leaned over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, leaving a large lipstick stain.

“You know, maybe I’m seeing the appeal of this.” He said as you pushed Eddie up next.

“A two for one deal for ya, Columbia!” you said proudly.

“Two?!” Her eyes lit up, and you could tell that she was having the time of her life. “Is it my birthday?!”

She looked at Eddie and pushed his bangs back as she drew the V on his forehead and gave him a smooch on the cheek as well. You could already tell what Steve was thinking when he looked at you. Probably something like It’s not normal to let another girl kiss your date or something like that. And okay, fine, you were planning on wiping the lipstick off of Eddie’s face before you went in for the kiss tonight, but you didn’t see any reason to be jealous. You knew exactly what was going to happen tonight. Hell, when you first came you ended the night with three different lipstick marksI Really, Steve and Eddie were getting stiffed tonight. Besides, Eddie hadn’t given you any reason to not trust him, and why start anything if you didn’t trust a guy?

“His name is Eddie.” you offered up and Steve gave you another look that you translated to Are you wing manning your own date?! You ignored it.

“What a coincidence! My boyfriend’s name is Eddie!” Columbia said excitedly. “You two even have the same leather jacket! Do you also ride a motorcycle?”

To your delight, Eddie didn’t miss a beat. “Not yet, but I might one day. Just a van for now.”

“Ohh, I bet a lot of fun happens in the back of your van.” she winked, and you could see a slight blush spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “You should come join me and my Eddie for dinner next week, we’re having Meat Loaf!”

You and Robin burst into a fit of giggles at the joke, as Eddie and Steve made eye contact for a moment and just shrugged at each other. Columbia gave Robin a wink and sauntered off to another group with their own Virgin to sacrifice.

With your Virgins freshly marked, snacks in hand, and the doors to the theater opening, you parted ways with Steve and Robin as they made their way to the front row and you made your way to the back with Eddie.

“The back row has my favorite call and response.” you explained as the two of you made your way to an open pair of seats. “And there are a lot of lines that are standard with every show, but if you can think of a good one, don’t even hesitate. Just call it out, okay? I’ll also warn you when people are about to start throwing things.”

“So, this is a bad movie where we are encouraged to yell and throw things?” Eddie asked, a wide grin on his face. “And where we sit depends on what we say?”

“Yes, it’s complete chaos.” you said. “I love it. Every show is always a little different because of the audience participation. Keeps it fresh, you know? Also, if you sit in the back you won’t get popcorn on your hair.”

“Jeff dumped a bucket of popcorn in my hair once.” Eddie said. “It took me a week to get all the kernels out.”

“How the hell did that happen?!”

“I was sitting down, he was walking over with popcorn to bribe me for some roll, and then there was popcorn and butter everywhere.”

“I take it you didn’t give him the advantage he wanted?” you giggled.

“No, he desiccated a snack in front of the Dungeon Master. He’s lucky I didn’t kill his character off when that happened.”

“The more I hear you talk about Hellfire, the more I wish I had been able to join in school.” you sighed. “You always sound like you have so much fun.”

“You... sometimes I do run some one-shots.” Eddie said, messing with one of his rings. “I haven’t done a game for beginners in a while but I could get the others to suck it up and run one for you.”

A warmth burned in your cheeks and you smiled at him. “Really? You’d run a game for me just so I could play?”

“Oh yeah, but just so you know, your movie isn’t the only thing that has its own hazing ritual.” Eddie smiled at you. “I tend to go extra hard on new players, just to make sure that they’re really up for the challenge of being in Hellfire.”

You can go extra hard on me. You just barely managed to keep that as an inside thought with the way he was looking at you with those intense doe eyes. You definitely didn’t miss the subtle way his eyes darted to your lips for just a split second.

Oh, you were so going to kiss him tonight. Not yet, not right now. If you went in for the kiss now, you just knew that you wouldn’t want to stop kissing him. And as much as you wouldn’t mind that, you also really wanted to share this experience with him.

“So, is that a Hellfire thing, or a you thing?” you asked. “Did any former Dungeon Masters have hazing rituals, or are you just that sadistic?”

“Chris didn’t need to haze anyone, if that’s what you’re asking.” Eddie said. “Hard to haze new players if he never let anyone new play.”

“Touche.”

“He was actually in the theater program the last semester he was with Hellfire.” Eddie said suddenly, as if he had just remembered. “He got roped into doing backstage work for the Spring play and ran Hellfire into the ground. He’d always change the schedule of when we could meet up, and then get pissed with everyone when he couldn’t keep up.”

“I heard that doing tech for the shows is always a lot of work.” you said. “But it really sucks that he got pissed.”

“He ended up fully quitting Hellfire halfway through the semester, and that’s when I took over.” Eddie explained. “I had already been running the club anyway, but that just made it more official.”

The lights in the theater flickered on and off, signaling the start of the show.

“They’ll probably call you up to be part of the Virgin Sacrifice.” you said. “If you want to back out, no judgment. Your hair covers your shame, so you could probably duck out”

“I’ll do it.” Eddie said. “It’s only fair, if I run a one-shot for you and refuse to go easy on you, the least I can do is get on stage for your interest.”

Had anyone ever shown this much interest in something you cared about? Robin had come with you before, and Steve had to be dragged here but this felt different somehow. Shit, the more you talked to him, the more you were tempted to ask him to leave the theater right now and show you the back of his van.

“You know, I really always wanted to be part of the shadow cast.” you explained. “I’d love to be on stage as Columbia or Janet, hell I’d even love to be Riff Raff.”

“You want to be on stage in your underwear once a month?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“It looks fun, but they never have auditions. It’s a pretty tight community, so you really have to know someone to get in. The most I’ve been able to do is sign up for clean up duty after the show. They give you tickets to the next show if you do that.”

The house lights went down, and you waited for the stage lights to come on and for the cast to come up and introduce the show and start the Virgin Sacrifice. The idea of seeing Steve and Eddie up there made you so giddy, and you couldn’t wait to tell Eddie more about the cast.

But the stage lights never came on. Instead the movie just went and started and soon a bright red pair of lips were on screen, singing to everyone.

They were skipping the Virgin Sacrifice? You had been going to this show for years and they never skipped the Virgin Sacrifice. And on Halloween? What was going on?

You were disappointed, but there was no use letting it ruin your evening. You shook it off and focused on singing along and teaching Eddie the important things to shout and when. How could you be too disappointed when Eddie was having so much fun? He was a natural, and witty and was quick to pick up on the jokes.

It helped even more that he was still holding your hand.

But something felt off during the whole show. There were a few members of the cast that you didn’t recognize, and they were giving a less than stellar performance. Choreography was wrong, the lip syncing was off, and Janet’s bra and slip were too... sexy. You also felt the man with the long sandy hair playing Rocky would have better been suited for Riff Raff.

Whoever coordinated this show, didn’t do a very good job. You felt bad that Steve and Eddie’s first time at the show wasn’t the best, especially after you had talked it up so much.

If Eddie noticed the lackluster performance, he didn’t say anything. Maybe you were being too nitpicky, he was having a blast after all. Eddie was cracking jokes, and his voice carried through the theater so well even the front row fuck the front row! could hear him.

As the credits rolled, and everyone made their way out to the lobby, you met back up with Steve and Robin.

“That movie made even less sense than when you told us about it.” Steve said and you just shrugged.

“I never said it made sense, I just said it was fun.”

“I wouldn’t mind coming back.” Eddie said. “I wonder if they’d consider a live band to go with the stage actors.”

You had to stop yourself from dropping down to your knees. One knee or two, you hadn’t decided yet.

Robin yawned and you caught a glimpse of a lipstick mark on her jaw. You made a note to ask about that later. “If I’m out any later, my parents are gonna kill me. I still have school in the morning.”

“Alright, let’s get you home.” Steve said. “See you two around.” His eyes darted down to where your hand and Eddie’s were still clasped together before pushing Robin out of the lobby and towards the parking lot.

You and Eddie followed behind, but didn’t head straight for your cars. The two of you moved to stand below the yellow lighting of the yellow marquis. You watched as Eddie leaned against the brick wall and lit a cigarette, blowing smoke that disappeared under the clear sky.

Under this lighting, you had a familiar feeling. There was something in the back of your mind, like a picture that was made of the same smoke coming from between his lips. Every time you reached out and almost had it, it disappeared in an instant. Something about the way he looked right now gave you a faint memory of being nervous, but not in a bad way.

“That might be the first time I’ve ever felt normal.” Eddie said, looking at you. “I didn’t realize how many freaks there really were in Indiana.”

“There are freaks and weirdos everywhere, if you know where to look.” you said. Eddie pocketed his lighter and took another drag. “Most people hide it though. I’m glad you don’t.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to see someone really being themselves in this town. You’re a breath of fresh air.” you looked out at the street, watching as people got in their cars and drove out of the parking lot. You caught a glimpse of the Columbia, only catching her by her hair and make up as she rushed out of the theater towards the parking lot. “I... even if this doesn’t go anywhere, I like you.” you admitted. “I want to keep being friends.”

Eddie frowned and faced you. He had dropped your hand to light his cigarette, and you noticed his hand move towards yours before stopping and falling back to his side.

“Is this your way of letting me down easy?” he asked, and your heart broke seeing the confusion in his big brown doe eyes.

“No!” you said quickly. “No, not even a little. No. I want to see you again. A lot.”

Eddie’s face relaxed and this time he did take your hand. He dropped his cigarette and snuffed out the butt with his sneaker. You took the hint and moved closer to him as well.

“You like me?” he asked, and you liked the way his dimples showed when he smiled.

That was the high sign. You didn’t even care that he still had a lipstick mark on his cheek, when all you could focus on were those warm brown eyes. You started to lean in, and you felt Eddie’s free hand move to your arm and up towards your shoulder. When he got close enough to count his unfairly long eyelashes, you closed your eyes-

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?”

Reality snapped back into place as you two heard a voice. You looked at Eddie’s face first, and there was an intense look in his eyes. His hand fell from your arm, while you tried to decipher what his expression meant.

You turned around to see who he was looking at, ready to kill whoever had interrupted the moment.

You hadn’t recognized him on stage as Rocky. The man's long sandy hair was now tied back and his overgrown fringe still fell into his gray eyes. He had filled out since high school, and he wasn’t wearing that stony scowl that had been his staple all through the years you’d seen him.

“Chris Morrison?!”

ALSO I think I might have run out of blogs to tag? It won't let me tag anymore blogs for the tag list but you can also find this story on AO3 and sub there as well!

Next Chapter

a/n: This chapter turned out way longer than expected and I still didn't fit everything into it! I had a whole other scene planned out, but that just means I have the motivation to start on the next part!

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirl320 @perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3 @siriuslysmoking @pookiesnatcher @sky-full-0f-fl0wers @takemetoneverlandbabe @killjoynotes @maelibo @themunsonator5000 @wheels-of-despair @woodlandsubshrub @ghcstpyre @pedroschka

#nacht fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you

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magics-neptunes-things · 5 months

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Hi guys!

The last one was a little more dark and this one is a little (a lot maybe) angsty too... Please meet jealous R and Leah 😅

I will start to work again from tomorrow so maybe I will write a little more slowly, it depends of my tiredness x)

Enjoy :)

TW : Jealousy, Angst, Swearing, Nightmare.

PART 1 I PART 2 I PART 3 I PART 4 I PART 6 | PART 7

______________________________________________________________

It’s a few days after Valentine’s Day that you find yourself alone at home, which is relatively rare. Like every Tuesday night, Leah is at her mother’s house with other people to have a family evening. You haven’t been officially introduced to the Williamsons yet, even though it would have been hard to escape Amanda. Leah’s mom comes to see almost every match of Arsenal, especially since Leah has started playing again. You don’t know what Leah told her about you, but the look she gave you when she first saw you made you blush from head to toe.

When Leah isn’t around, you can usually count on Alessia to be by your side. To chat, laugh at a bad show or simply scroll next to each other on your mobile phones. Generally one cook for the other, having established for a while a turn without really consulting yourself. But tonight Alessia is busy too and you find your apartment very empty. After calling your parents, then Leila, then Ingrid, you notice that it’s still very early but you still decide to go to bed.

You haven’t decided with Leah if she’ll join you at home when her evening is over, but she has your keys and you know she feels comfortable enough at your home to join you at any time.

After a long hot shower, you settle down with your cup of tea and a book in your bed, welcoming with pleasure the warmth of the sheets. It’s only a few tens of minutes later that you hear an awful screech on the window of your bedroom, making you jump.

Standing still for a few moments, you listen, trying to persuade yourself that it’s only your imagination. You’re in the middle of London, there can’t be someone hanging from your window, right? But as you stress level down, you hear the noise again.

Even stronger than before, causing you chills. It sounds like nails on a blackboard and you are now certain that it can only be nails against the window of your room.

With your hand shaking, you grab your phone and write to Leah. You could have called her, but if Thérèse really someone behind your curtains, you don’t want him to hear you.

From You Baby where are you?

From Leebaby 🌹✨ Crushing Grandma at Bingo 😈 Why?

From You I think there is someone behind my bedroom’s window

From Leebaby 🌹✨ What? Is it a joke?

From You No Babe, I swear. Someone’s scratching my window, I just heard it again

Your phone vibrates again in your hands signaling a response from Leah, but it’s another sound that caught your ear this time. Much less disturbing than the idea of a psychopath scratching at your window’s bedroom, you seem to have heard a meow.

Jumping on your legs, it’s with a rest of apprehension that you open the curtain a few centimeters. Two green round eyes look at you, surrounded by a total black fur. When the cat opens his mouth, you hear the same meow again and you decide to open the window to let him in. You’re on the high floors of your building and if that cat falls, you’re not sure if it survives.

Jumping in your bedroom, the cat looks calmly around him.

"Uh. Hey, man?"

You look at each other silently for several moments, before he starts to wash his paws. You blink several times because of the absurdity of the situation.

"Where are you coming from?" you ask with a frown.

You don’t know your neighbors very well, other than Alessia of course, so you wouldn’t be able to tell who in this building has a cat. That cat doesn’t look very old to you, like he hasn’t finished growing yet. And he even looks rather thin. In any case, he ignores you superbly, licking his pads with application.

As you close the window still looking at the black cat, your eyes are drawn to your phone whose screen turns on and off repeatedly. You take it, opening the messages from Leah. Leebaby 🌹✨ Go to your living room and call the police Isn’t Alessia with you? Honey? Why aren’t you answering my calls? ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE You have with that five missed calls from Leah and you hurry up to call her back hoping she hasn’t contacted Scotland Yard yet. The first ring didn’t even have time to sound in full that she has already picked up. "Y/N is that you?" "Yes. Are you in the car?" you ask with a frown, hearing cars sounds in the background. "Yes? You write to me to tell me that there is someone at your window and then I have no answer, obviously I am in my car!" Leah seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown and you feel terrible about it. It will now be necessary that you explain to her that your possible assailant was in truth only a ball of black fur which seems to have confused your bedroom with a grooming salon. "Oh Babe, I’m sorry. But everything is fine, you can go back to your Mom. I’m sorry I worried you for nothing" "Accept the video call" "What?" "Accept the video call!" Leah repeats abruptly and you hurry to do it. Leah’s face appears on the screen, her eyebrows frown. She’s still in her car and you look at her with a stern look. "Leah Williamson you better be parked on the side of the road" You roll your eyes when she snorts with a scornful face. "Why did you want to switch to video mode?" "To see that you are alone and that you haven’t be forced to make the call so that someone can murder you in peace" You can’t help but laugh softly when you hear her, but on the other hand the degree of worry she has for you touches you. "I told you to stop with Criminal Minds Babe" you tease her tenderly. "Show me your room"

You willingly accept, even walking around your apartment to reassure her completely. She seems to relax noticing that you are really alone and you go back to your room to sit on your bed.

"What was that noise then?"

You smile again before turning the camera of your smartphone to show her the cat, still installed on the carpet of your bedroom.

"A cat? Where the hell does he come from?" said Leah in a skeptical tone.

"I don’t know. I asked him and he didn’t answer me"

"Haha. Very funny."

You turn the camera in your direction to continue your conversation with Leah, wondering mentally if the store open 24/24 of your neighborhood has any animal food in stock.

"See? I’m fine. You can go back to your Mom and kick more ass"

********

You posted posters with the cat’s photo all over your neighborhood, without anyone contacting you to retrieve the cat. After a visit to the vet, you learn that he’s actually a female and that she’s probably not even a year old. You called him Rasmus first, so you changed her name to Raven. And you bought her a kibble dispenser, a water bowl, a litter box, some toys and a sweet confortable basket that she ignores superbly to sleep on the sofa in the living room or on the bed in the guest room.

Leah was distant in the first place towards Raven, officially because it was because of her that she believed for a few minutes that she would find you slit in the middle of your bedroom. And it’s also true that Leah grew up with dogs rather than cats. She talks about herself as a dog person.

But you caught her recently sitting on your couch scratching Raven behind her ears while watching television. You took care to immortalize the scene with your phone before going to tease her.

Raven is therefore officially a resident of your apartment and this is only a problem when you have a match elsewhere than in London. Leah’s cousin has kindly offered to come and look after Raven in your absence.

The match you are preparing for today however is at home and is a bit special for you since you are playing against Manchester City. Your old club. But it’s especially the idea of seeing your former teammates that fills you with joy, it has been far too long since you could see Leila or Laia.

They arrived a few hours before the match with their bus, so you didn’t have the opportunité to see them before going to the stadium. But it’s without masking your big smile that you find them on the field while they are in full warm-up, arriving with Arsenal’s players.

"I’ll be back!" you scream to your teammates before joining your opponents of the day.

Laia Aleixandri is the first to see you arrive and it’s her who squeezes you against her first. You give her back her hug for a few seconds, before pushing her away with a playful smile when she starts to ruffle your hair.

"It’s good to see you again!" she says happily.

You don’t have time to tell her that you feel the same before you hear Leila call your name. You don’t have time to react either before you find yourself trapped in her embrace and that she make you spin in the air.

"I forgot how extravagant you are" you joke, making them laugh.

You greet your other former teammates with a smile when Leila releases you and exchanges a few words with them. You kept in touch via messages with some, but not everyone. That said, you are sincerely pleased to see them again. You’ve been playing with them for several years, even if you’re no longer part of the same club as them.

"Don’t" you smile to Leila by pushing her hand away when she try to pinch your cheek, at the same time that you hear your name being called.

You turn around to see that it’s Katie who beckons you to join them, training apparently about to begin. With an excuse smile, you say goodbye for the moment to the others before running to your teammates.

"Are you making a deal with the enemy now?" teases Katie while putting an arm around your shoulders to train you towards the others.

"Don’t be so dramatic" you joke in return before going to position yourself naturally near Alessia and Leah.

You notice as soon as your look at her that Leah has her jaw contracted, but when you address a questioning look to her, she just shake her head and look away. Alessia shrug her shoulders when you look at her. But you don’t have time to investigate any longer, Jonas coming to give you the start for the usual pre-game exercises.

Jonas always arranges to give you a time off between the start of the match and his pre-game speech, so you join Leah at her cubby. Unusually quiet, she has her headphones in her ears and her gaze fixed on an imaginary spot on the floor. Sitting next to her, you gently lean on her to get her attention.

If her eyes turn to you, she doesn’t take off her headphones.

"Are you okay?" You ask her with curiosity, in a voice low enough not to be heard by others. "Leah?" you add when she doesn’t answer you.

You wonder for a few seconds if she hears you, but Leah finally nods.

"Sure?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Of course"

The smile she gives you looks more like a grimace and is far from reassuring you. But you’d rather not insist, deciding to listen to music too. Leaning against the wall, you watch Leah from the corner of your eye and smile softly when you feel her looking for your hand to interlace your fingers.

You gently squeeze her hand in yours and the smile that she addresses you is more sincere than earlier. You lean to kiss her shoulder, both of you deciding against PDA at work.

The game is pretty tight and you play the 90 minutes that the game lasts. Finding yourself marked by Laia amuses you a lot, even if she has the advantage of knowing your qualities and your defects, you manage several times to pass her to put their guardian in danger. The final result was 3-2, with Caitlin and Alessia scoring the first two goals.

It’s only in the 86th minute that you find your way to the net, allowing your team to win.

"That’s my girl!" Leah happily exclaims, pinching both your cheeks before kissing it, making you laugh.

A few minutes later the end of the match is whistled, allowing Arsenal to win three important points in the battle at the top of the ranking. As at the end of each match, you follow your teammates around the stadium, thanking the spectators for coming.

Scoring the winning goal against your old club is a strange feeling, but you are relieved to see that the different members of the team and even the staff don’t seem to hold you against it when you come to greet them. While you are in the middle of a discussion with your former coach, you feel two arms grabbing you by the waist and it doesn’t take you long to understand that it’s Leila.

"I have the same feeling of a proud mother who has just seen her child do his first mistake" Leila jokes, making you smile. "You’re still progressing, I’m sure than in less than 2 years you will have your Ballon d’or. Maybe I’ll forget you for the goal that day"

You laugh, not answering anyway. Other players from City are joining you, from Arsenal too, as Laia Codina. She also knows Laia and Leila well, having played with them for the same national team. Leila doesn’t let go of you for a single second, but you pay no more attention than that. You know perfectly well the touchy nature of Leila and you know very well that there is nothing more behind.

"Stop" you warn her by clapping her hand when she tries again to pinch your cheek.

"Why? Is it reserved for Williamson now?" she asks with a mischievous smile

"Leah" you frowns, not really liking the way Leila refers to Leah.

"I saw her more cheerful after a win actually" Chloe said, with whom you also played last season.

Surprised by her remark, you turn to look for Leah. You find her in conversation with Lia and Beth, a visibly upset look on her face. You can see that Lia is talking to her while Beth seems to agree to what she is saying, but from where you are, it’s obviously impossible to understand what they are saying.

When you go back to the locker room, not without having promised to visit them in Manchester soon, you aren’t surprised to see that some of your teammates have already left. What you didn’t expect was to see no trace of your captain girlfriend in it.

"She already went home, she said she had something to do" Alessia informs you with a sorry smile.

"Oh."

You’re having a hard time hiding your disappointment. Since she started playing again, you’ve got into the habit of going home together. Either your home or her home. Sometimes parties are organized to celebrate your victories and you go there together. When it’s not the case, you sometimes invite Lia or Katie and Caitlin to join you with Alessia for a rather quiet evening. Or you’re just the two of you. Either way, you’re always together. But once again, you’re not really together so she didn’t have anything to say to you, right?

Since you have time, you decide to shower here, trying to digest the strange sensation in the pit of your stomach. Leah didn’t write to you before she left either, you took the time to check your phone before going in the shower.

Between her behavior before the game, the surge of affection she had during your goal and her hasty departure from today, you have trouble understanding what is happening. The locker room is almost empty when you come out from your long shower, in truth there is only Alessia left.

"You, you idiot. You wanted to go back home with the subway?" replies the blonde with amusement when you ask her what she’s waiting.

It’s true that you came with Leah by car, which adds to your misunderstanding. The blonde would never left you there without bringing you back if everything was okay.

"Did she tell you what she had to do?" you ask quietly Alessia later, while you’re in her car.

After glancing at you, Alessia responds negatively shaking her head. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you send a message to Leah to ask if she’ll join you tonight. You hate this feeling in the pit of your stomach and you focus on Alessia’s breathing to discreetly layer yours on hers.

It’s only when you arrive home that you receive the answer from Leah, informing you that she will join you later. You don’t know when, but at least you know she’s coming. You’re greatfull to Alessia who choose to stay with you for diner while you both watch TV.

It’s actually much later that Leah finally joined you, Alessia has already returned to her apartment after falling asleep two times in your lap. And it has been a long time since Raven rolled herself in ball in the armchair under the window to begin her night. Leah seems to have a hard time opening the door to your apartment and when you see her coming in you quickly understand why.

"Are you drunk?" you ask when you look at her, frowning.

"No" laughs Leah before getting rid of her shoes and her bag that she leaves at the entrance.

She is definitely drunk.

"Where were you?" you ask without getting off of the couch.

It’s not like her to go out alone for a drink and you wonder what happened. Apparently she left on her own after the game, at least that’s what Alessia told you and you trust her completely on the subject.

"Oh, we’re getting inquisitive now, aren’t we?"

Leah’s tone is light, but you only have to cross her eyes to understand that something is wrong. But you still don’t understand what and it annoys you, usually you get to understand her quickly.

"I don’t understand"

You follow Leah with your eyes when she drops on the couch next to you, sighing for a long time before pinching her nose.

"Leah, what’s going on?" You ask when you turn in her direction.

"I’m Leah again now? Better and better"

You’re starting to lose patience with her behavior, but you know it’s probably not the things to show her. You feel like you’re dealing with an annoying, sulky teenager. So you take a deep breath and let a few seconds pass to allow you to relax a little before resuming the speech.

"Can you answer my questions please? Where did you went at the end of the game?"

"Home"

You honestly didn’t expect that answer given her intoxication, but you decided to believe her. Leah never lied to you in her life.

"Why didn’t you wait for me?" you ask softly.

Your disappointment is probably a little childish, so you try to hide it from Leah. She already looks weird, no need to push her to the limit with this kind of behavior.

"Dunno. You seemed busy with your friends."

"I hadn’t seen them for a long time, but you could have waved at me or come to me. I would have go with you, I didn’t realize we’d been talking for this long."

"You didn’t present me to them, I didn’t want to interrupt anything"

"I would have if you came"

Leah snorts for any answer, merely crossing her arms on her chest and staring at the television screen in front of her. You gently put your hand on her knee, always trying to figure out what’s going on in her head.

"What did you want to talk to me about later in the locker room?"

"Nothing important."

"Leah" you sigh softly, starting to be annoyed by her behavior.

"Stop calling me that!"

You’re surprised when you hear the annoyed tone she uses, watching her get up nervously to go around the couch and search something in the fridge. She also seems to be angry and you are even more frustrated not to understand why. So you get up to follow her, determined to get information that will allows you to understand.

"So stop running away from the conversation and tell me what’s going on, gosh!"

The tone of your voice would allow anyone to understand your annoyance and when Leah comes out of the fridge with a bottle of water, you can read the anger on her face.

"What do you want me to tell you? That I can’t stand a fucking poor girl touching my girlfriend in front of everyone?"

Your face becomes perfectly smooth under the surprise and that’s probably what makes Leah realize that she literally just yelled at you. It’s her who talks first, apparently completely de-alcoholized in a split second.

"Babe, I’m sorry" she makes in a softer voice, gently taking your arm in her hand, scaring by your emotionless face.

Leah imagines that your sudden muteness is related to the way she spoke to you and she fears terribly that her behavior may have reminded you in some way all that you have lived with your ex-girlfriend. She has no idea that your mind is completely elsewhere.

"What did you just say?" you ask in a low voice, looking carefully at her.

"I know, I should never have talked to you like this, I’m sorry Honey…"

While continuing to talk, Leah gently takes your face in her hands, looking at your eyes.

"No. You said girlfriend."

"Yes?"

It’s Leah’s turn to be a little lost in your conversation. She sees you looking for something in her eyes that she doesn’t understand, but you fortunately quickly resume the conversation.

"Do you consider me as your girlfriend?"

"Y/N what the hell? Yes?"

"You never asked me officially" you point out at her

"I thought it made sense given the relationship we have. We sleep together, almost live at eachother’s and I told you I’m in love with you"

It’s true that seen like this… You find yourself a little silly and even blushing. You turn away your eyes to shake your head gently. But when you turn your attention to Leah, she looks at you with a slight smile.

"Do you want me to ask you officially?" she teases.

"Stop making fun of me" you mumble, sticking yourself against her to hide your face in the hollow of her neck.

Leah puts her arms around your waist to tighten you against her, but it doesn’t prevent her from speaking again.

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?"

You don’t answer, but you can’t help but smile against her skin. You hear her smile when she talks and she gently pinches your ribs when you don’t answer.

"I’m waiting for an answer" Leah sings mischievously.

"Yes" you just answer, taking your face off her to look at her.

"I’m sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn’t have let my frustration take over, I swear it won’t happen again."

You acquiesce gently, preferring not to point out to her that the broken promises were a large part of your relationship with Helena precisely. Instead, you’d rather answer her something else.

"I know the difference between that and the abusive behavior she had. Don’t worry" you smile tenderly.

Leah responds to your smile with an uncertain look and you lean over her to kiss her tenderly. You feel like you’re relaxing in your exchange and you feel like Leah is, too.

"Can I take you to bed then, Girlfriend?"

You laugh when you hear her talk but you accept willingly.

********

Leah’s jealousy is something that made you happy, a kind of mark of attention and affection you never expected. This has nothing to do with your ex’s need for unhealthy control and even though you tried to explain to Leah the differences you made between your argument and your past, The amount of attention and flowers you received after that was nevertheless very impressive.

Leah stopped bringing you flowers every day but it finally became a habit for her to bring some back every Tuesday night when she meets you after her family nights. Now that Raven understands that this is not a snack for her, you sincerely appreciate having flowers that decorate your apartment.

And you appreciate more to see that this dispute hasn’t changed anything between you, on the contrary. You now know that you can designate her as your girlfriend to your loved ones and the change was not missed by anyone.

"When are you gonna introduce her to us?" your mom asked you the last time you had them on the phone.

You never officially introduced one of your girlfriends to them, and for good reason. They only needed to see Helena once to understand her and Alina was never so motivated to go up to Norway during her holidays.

"I’ll talk to her" you just said.

You haven't yet talked about your summer vacation, whether you would spend it together or whether you would spend it alone. Usually you will spend some time in Norway before flying a little further south. Last year you only had little time given the World Cup, even if you got out quite quickly.

That was the subject you wanted to discuss with Leah tonight. You’re at her home for once, usually you tend to choose your apartment to be with Raven. But you decided to cook together and her kitchen is definitely bigger than yours and more convenient for that.

You chose something simple, after looking at Norwegian recipes to please you, Leah found that most were made with fish, which she hates. So you kindly offered her homemade pizzas, which she accepted.

You were doing the dishes when Leah gets a message on her phone as you pass by. It’s only mechanically that you look at the screen, your eyes attracted by the light it projects. And you feel your stomach writhing violently when you see who just wrote to her.

Jordan Nobbs.

The name and surname are entered in the contact, leaving no doubt about the person. Although you suddenly stop in your movements, Leah doesn’t notice anything, thrown into her conversation and happily spraying her kitchen with frothy water while doing the dishes.

"Are you okay?" asks Leah curiously, realizing that you haven’t answered her for two minutes.

Her gaze becomes anxious when she turns to you and you briefly wonder what face you are making.

"Are you still talking to Jordan?" you ask, frowning.

The question seems to surprise Leah, who looks at you while frowning in turn.

"From time to time, why?" she finally answers you.

"You told me she left you down. Why would you talk to her again?" you answered with a slightly accusing tone.

"She started writing to me again after the game against Aston Villa" Leah explains, resting her sponge and a pan next to the sink.

"You no longer follow each other on social networks but you write messages to each other? It doesn't make any sense"

You have a hard time understanding the logic behind it and, as you try not to get carried away by emotions that you can’t even figure out, at the same time try to keep a normal conversation tone.

"Why do you take it like that? We’re not doing anything wrong"

Frowning, Leah also seems to have trouble understanding what’s going on in your head and it’s probably even more frustrating. Sometimes you feel like she understands you better than you. But not tonight.

"I don’t know, how would you take it if you found out I was talking to my exes without telling you?"

"Jordan has nothing to do with your ex" sighs Leah skilfully dodging your question.

Do you feel frustration mingling with jealousy and a form of… betrayal? The term may be a bit strong. Your hands shake when you put down the laundry you used to wipe the dishes.

"Of course, the perfect little Jordan is surely coming back only for a friendship." you mumble, loud enough for Leah to hear.

"Don’t talk about her like that"

"Why are you defending her?" you almost shout while crossing your arms on your chest.

Instead of answering you, Leah rolls her eyes before sighing and turning her back on you. A gesture that means that she prefers not to answer to avoid continuing the dispute that is announced, but in your mind it means that she doesn’t want to answer because she suspects that you will not like her answer.

"You know what? Go talk to your dear sweet Jordan, I’m out of here."

"What?!"

That’s how you find yourself going home with a heavy heart. Leah tried to hold you back, obviously, but you managed to leave. Maybe yelling at her at her front door that she has to leaving you alone with a bad word or two helped. Certainly.

You have to take three times to park your car on your parking space because of your shaking hands and your incapacity to stay focused. When you enter your apartment, you are surprised to see Alessia sitting on your sofa, Raven on her knees.

"Leah called"

You growl for any answer and enter your bathroom to take a long hot shower, which you do every time you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. It’s impossible for you that Jordan come back just to have a friendly conversation with Leah and you’re sure she came back to talk to her only because she saw the connection you had with the blonde. You can’t believe Leah would betray you like that. And worse, not understanding why it bother you that way.

You realize when you get out of the shower that you left your phone in your car, but you decide that you will look for it tomorrow. The parking is secure and you don’t want to go out, anyway you doubt you need it tonight. Leah won’t write to you after you yelled at her the way you did. At least that’s what you say to yourself. In reality, you have some missed call and messages from her already.

It's lying on your bed that you find Alessia when returning to your room.

"What happened?" asks the blonde after you lie under the covers and turn your back to her.

"Leah probably told you, no?"

"No. She just asked me to let her know when you got home. She seemed worried."

You snorts for any answer and let go a few seconds before answering, turning to lay on your back. Alessia doesn’t seem to be in a hurry, leaving you time. She has gotten to know you over time too.

"She's talking to Jordan again" you end up mumbling.

"How do you know?" Alessia asks softly.

"I saw when she got a message earlier. She didn’t even tell me, I have to found out myself Less"

"You asked her why she didn’t tell you?"

Alessia, always good advice, calm and thoughtful. You sincerely admire her ability to see things and her sincere way of believing that everyone is kind. She’s too precious for this world.

"… No"

"Why?"

You shrug your shoulders for any answer. You were probably too busy feeling jealous and betrayed to show common sense. Alessia quickly seems to understand what happened and passes a hand in your hair.

"Sleep and you can talk about it together tomorrow, yeah?"

You answer silently once again, nodding. You doubt you can fall asleep without Leah wrapped around you to be completely honest.

"Do you want me to stay?" proposes Alessia and you mentally note to have her build a gold statue in your future house.

"Please"

********

Despite your doubts about your ability to fall asleep, you end up sinking, exhausted by all the emotions of the evening. Your sleep is far from restorative and relaxing that said, nightmares haunting you since you fall asleep.

Until you were startled awake, Alessia shaking you like a plum tree. The last images of your dream evaporate while your eyes focus on her face and the darkness of your bedroom.

"God are you okay?" stutters Alessia and you can see the fear on her face. "You were screaming, I was trying to wake you up but…"

Fast breathing, you look around, trying to chase away the sensations and images of your dream. You sit on your bed and press your palms over your eyes with enough force to make stars appear. Only then do you realize your cheeks are wet with tears.

"What can I do? What do you need?"

It was a nightmare like you haven’t had in a long time. Since the night you confided in Leah.

"Y/N? Please talk to me" Alessia kindly said.

"Leah... I want Leah" you whisper

You don’t know if Leah was sleeping when Alessia called her, but you’re already feeling a little relieved to learn she’s on her way. You didn’t really understand the words they exchanged, focused on your nightmare. After hanging up, Alessia offered you to freshen up, which turned out to be a good idea. When you return to your room, you see that she took out clean clothes that she put on your bed.

You move Raven who had settled on your fresh clothes before putting them on. The images of your dream quickly come back to mind and it’s shivering that you go back under your sheets. Alessia not knowing if you are comfortable enough for her to see you like this, she appears just to give you a hot tea she prepared for you before informing you that she will wait for Leah in the living room. But that you can call her if you need anything, of course.

You lose track of time, your mind shaken by your emotions and memories of your dream and your past like a small wooden boat in an ocean of waves.

When you feel the bed moving next to you, it only takes a few seconds to recognize Leah’s smell. Without a word, she slips under the sheets with you, passing her arms around your waist and sticking herself against your back.

"Leah?" You mutter though, your voice barely recognizable.

"I’m here" she whispers in a reassuring tone. "What happened?"

"Nightmare"

"You wanna talk about it?"

You shake your head negatively, rather focused on your attempts to stabilize your breathing and heart rate. You’re well helped by Leah’s presence, like every time. She’s like your dream catcher. Patiently waiting for you to calm down enough to speak, she gently caresses your arm with her fingertips, whispering comforting words to your ear.

Your breathing gets slower and slower and after a while Leah must think you’re asleep. She slowly detaches from you to avoid waking you, but jumps when you turn around suddenly and grabs her arm.

"Don’t leave" you beg her as she regains her inital position.

"I’m not leaving. I just wanted to take your cup back to the kitchen. It’s okay."

If it had been someone else, or even if it had been at another time in your life, you would probably have been uncomfortable feeling so dependent on someone. But it seems to you sometimes that the universe made you wait for the right time to meet Leah and get closer. Even if you struggled the first weeks and even if you have some topics to discuss soon, starting with Jordan.

But you don’t want to think about it right now. Leah passes her hands around your waist, squeezing you against her again except this time you’re face to face. It doesn’t bother you, you take advantage of your proximity to bury your face in the hollow of her neck. It has become your thing. Leah does it every morning when you wake up and you do it when you’re tired or when you need comfort.

"Were you sleeping?" you ask after a few seconds.

"No" simply answers Leah, playing with your hair.

"Why?"

"I couldn’t"

You feel her shrug slightly and you step back a little to put your face on your cushion and be able to look at her. She does look tired, but given the face you must have, you prefer not to comment.

"Why?" you ask instead.

"I hate when we fight"

You remain silent to this answer, not knowing what to say. Her eyes are always plunged into yours when you sigh gently before looking away.

"Me too" you end up answering

The reason for your argument tonight were chased by your bad dream, but the insecurities that you may have felt at that time quickly come back to your mind. You don’t know how to approach the subject with Leah and you secretly hope that her magical power to read your thoughts will start working again quickly.

"I’ve been thinking about what you told me" said Leah, her face still a few inches from yours.

"Which part of the discussion?"

You retain a grimace, remembering very well the not necessarily very nice words you said when you left her on the doormat of her house.

"When you asked me how I would react if I heard you were still in contact with Alina or the other psycho."

"The Other Psycho" became your ex-girlfriend’s official nickname when Leah talked about her.

"I don’t think I could handle it, to be honest. And not just because they shared your life at a time, but because they hurt you and they don’t deserve any attention."

You bite your lip, looking for the best words to try to share your point of view.

"Jordan made you suffer too"

By leaving and probably without being as present as Leah could be for her when it was Jordan who was injured. You’re kind of sorry you weren’t there for Leah from the start of her injury, but at least you were there for her big comeback.

"I know" said Leah gently "I didn’t wanted to hide from you that we talk from time to time, but after the match against Aston Villa we had all this shit up and really these are only messages from time to time. The last time she wrote to me before today was for Christmas."

You only have to look into her eyes to know that she is telling you the pure and simple truth.

"It’s just… it’s Jordan, you know? People loved you together and there’s a lot of people who keep hoping that you’ll be a couple again. And she was a part of your life for a long time"

"I’m not going to lie to you" Leah begins softly, sighing before rolling on her back. "Jordan is my first love and it won’t change, but things ended between us for a reason."

The silence settles for a few seconds, during which your gaze is lost on the wall in front of you. The ease of getting lost in your thoughts makes you jump when Leah turns to you again.

"Jordan was my first love, but if I can choose I would like you to be the last. I know th… Why are you crying?"

It’s stronger than you and to admit it all, you’re probably a sentimental mess right now. You manage to tell her that you don’t know between two sobs, which makes her laugh gently before drawing you against her. You obviously let yourself be, finding with pleasure the reassurance of her arms.

"You have nothing to worry about with Jordan or anyone else, I promise" Leah adds after a few seconds.

You nod, starting to talk again once your sobs have subsided.

"We’ve been fighting a lot the last few days, already the other time with Leila and today. I don’t understand what’s happening to us. It's scare me" you mumble.

"It happens and it’s even normal when we share so much time together. I mean I love being with you, but we’re almost every minute of the day together. We can’t never fight. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. We just need to keep communicating as well as possible."

She's right and you know it, you don't hesitate to tell her. You feel your body finally relaxing, for the first time since you saw Jordan’s name on her phone.

"Talking to your ex too?" Leah asks after a few moments.

"No"

"Great."

You smile softly and lift your head off her chest to look at her.

"I’m sorry I yelled at you" you say, slightly frowned.

"You’re forgiven" Leah replies before stealing a kiss "What you went through with Alina is not right either, you know. She shouldn’t have done that to you."

You shrug your shoulders, not really knowing what to say. But it's true that infidelity destroys much of the self-confidence and confidence you can have in others. The beginning of your relationship with Leah can prove it.

"I don’t want to talk about her anymore" you end up mumbling

"It suits me very well. Like that I maybe won’t want to break her two legs at the next game"

You laugh softly when Leah takes you back against her, crashing your lips against hers. The weight you felt on your chest flew away and you can finally breathe properly again. You even smile, pressing your face against her jaw after the kiss.

"Maybe I’ll ask Katie to do it" Leah jokes with a dreamy look.

"Stop" you answer while rolling your eyes.

"Speaking of our teammates, I think you really scared Less" Leah continues caressing your back.

You grimace this time, feeling guilty thinking about the look and face she had when you woke up.

"I’ll apologize tomorrow"

Leah answers you with a grunt before yawning. It’s been a long night for both of you, even though you’ve got a few more hours of sleep than Leah has. You notice that she's falling asleep when you put a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks for asking me to come" Leah mumbles without opening her eyes.

"Thank you for coming"

Leah has a new smile and opens an eye to look at you when you put a new kiss on her jaw this time.

"Go to sleep Honey. I love you."

"I love you more" you answer.

"Nope, it's me"

"It's obviously me"

"Can't hear you, I'm sleeping."

"God, you're so annoying" you laugh, watching her faking a peaceful sleep.

You kiss her again, on her lips this time. And because she's asleep and you can, you let your eyes gently slide her face.

You admire each of her features. The way her lashes draw shadows on her relaxed face, her jaw perfectly drawn. If you could draw yourself a girlfriend, she would be perfectly similar to Leah.

"Stop staring you creep"

Even if you thought she was perfectly asleep, Leah grabs your pillow and crushes it on your face, triggering your laughters. It seems to annoy Raven who leaves the room not without throwing you a look of reproaches, certainly to go settle peacefully on "her" armchair.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine

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