#we're all fucking weird in our own ways. that's what makes life fun. grow up!

[smolskye]

the same ppl who are like omg cringe culture is dead do whatever you want! are the same ppl who will see someone being enthusiastic and genuine about something and go wow gross cringe

#skye.txt #like their own interests aren't also things that normies would call cringe lmao #we're all fucking weird in our own ways. that's what makes life fun. grow up! #'oh but my interest isnt cringey bc -' shut up of course it is but thats fine bc most fun things are! #like 90% of the stuff i do and like and am enthused about is cringey #and i joke about how its embarrassing or whatever but ive really genuinely stopped caring. i chase moths around and point at ants #i ramble abt my dnd characters and westworld and occasionally even fuckin homestuck bc its stuff i like. im not about to shit on ppl for #doing literally the same thing im doing just about different stuff #i was worried about getting older thinking that i would lose my love for.....stuff. and im sad bc i feel like i am a bit. but in some ways #im not and im going to hold onto that feeling!

[whatbigotspost]

On being real mean and then less mean

Long post incoming........I've been chipping away at writing this for like a month now and (unlike my usual self) I've stalled out a few times unsure of what all I want to say. But I think I've got it squared up the way I would like to. Unfortunately, I need a long context laying preamble. Sorry this will feel like an online recipe experience 😅

As the 5 of you who usually read my blocks of text will know well, I grew up in a very toxic, abusive, high-control environment. If you wanted to intentionally produce kids who would have anxiety, shame, self-loathing, aggression, be overly-competitive, angry, and equipped with little-to-no social skills, you should be parented like I was. In my nuclear family, we couldn't have had worse life lessons or role modeling when it comes to building healthy relationships, strong friendships, and harmonious existence with others. Violence was often normalized. Manipulation was encouraged. Specific conditions and rules were put on receiving love and/or affection. We weren't seen as independent humans who had their own lives and thoughts and ambitions--we were seen as extensions of my father, brought into the world to be his unquestioning cheerleaders and adoring team, to do our best to become his clones, to live out his unrealized dreams, and to combat his grievances w/ the world.

In short, it sucked.

Above all, I was taught in a very deep and real way to hate myself, not that this was explicitly acknowledged mind you, but it was the implication of everything. This self loathing was an extension of my father's own insecurities and full inability to grow the fuck up and build a life for himself that was emotionally mature, resilience, and self-caring. This mentality, if truly internalized, creates ugliness from the inside that radiates outward. I can see that so clearly now, but back then, I didn't understand it at all.

I was implicitly taught a thought process like, "the best way to 'own' someone is to shit talk them into crying" or "you can make yourself look stronger and distract from your own shortcomings by staying 1 step ahead of everyone through making THEM feel like shit about their shortcomings."

But you weren't just mean to someone to stay ahead of them, you were also mean as a way to ingratiate others to you. "Telling it like it is" even if what you said was unnecessarily cruel, was a virtue. Like, "what? I'm just saying what we're all thinking!" kind of stuff. I was taught that "teasing" is a way you show someone you love them, where "teasing" means saying all kinds of awful things that are quite hurtful. I was taught that being funny was one of the most important qualities and it didn't matter if those laughs came at the expense of others' feelings and if, over time, your comments began to destroy those around you.

It's "just teasing." It's "just joking." It was a lot of "oh come, on grow a thicker skin" over "maybe saying cruel shit for fun is bad?" It was "God, I can dish it and I can take it, why can't you?" over "maybe I want friends who support one another instead of digging at our insecurities."

Some recent nostalgia I've been wallowing in this summer reminded me of my grossest self who lived by these rules.

Those worst moments, where I was a bully and an asshole, all occurred for me at school, when I was probably around 11/12 and older. School was a very interesting place for me. When I try to paint an efficient picture of what my childhood home was like for others, I often say, my family existed in a weird liminal someplace between mainstream, mid western white suburban society and a survivalist/separatist/cult/fringe culture (like Tara Westover describes in Educated or as seen in Captain Fantastic if you're familiar w/ either of those.) We were a cult of 4 and there were many things We Did Not Do, all my dad's rules. (My grandparent's house was a safe harbor unlike my home, but that's a tangent for another time.) That said, accessing education was something my father DID trust the local government to do (as long as he could emphasize over and over how we can't trust everything they say, we could trust their lessons of math, music, English, etc.) He strategically chose a place to live where I could get the best "free" education possible in Central Indiana. My social life existed fully in a traditional school setting, where it took me all of 2 seconds to clock that other kids' lives weren't like mine, and that was compelling to me. I became a lifelong student of interpersonal relationship dynamics far before I realized I had become a lifelong student of relationships. I remember when I was in elementary school journaling about and thinking about and talking about all the friend groups and dynamics, etc. Writing stories about friend groups. Creating Barbie universes and dramas with 2 neighborhood friends. Trying to spend more and more time w/ peers instead of family.

Beyond that, I loved school because I would receive praise and love at home for A's and praise and love from my teachers for being "so good" (aka offering 100% deference to adult authority as I been told to do, even if I could question them inside.) This all means when I was very young, I did SO WELL at figuring out school...how to make friends...how to get an A+...how to get teachers to love me...how to be The Good Kid...how to reduce my value to my grades and what I produced, which is a mentality I've still only begun to unweave from within me, some 30 years later.

Anyway, point is, despite the hand I was dealt, I somehow never had trouble making friends and with a lot of my closest friends, I wasn't all that mean to in the way I describe above, at least initially. But when I did apply that behavior, god damn was it ugly. I get that now, but back then, I felt cool as fuck.

The more it (temporarily worked for me) the more I used meanness. By the time I was like 17, I literally was known as mean and wore it as a badge of honor. Lacking emotional intelligence and an overtly loving home environment, I thought it was normal? cool? idk...to "not be able to handle mushy emotional stuff." I would (LITERALLY) run if friends were telling me they loved me. It became more and more common for me to apply, "witty mean girl" quips to even my closest friends. Stuff was said about me like, "oh, if she makes fun of you, it means she really loves you." I was always saying shit to gain laughs from others that really hurt some people and I would act like that was a THEM thing like "god, they're so sensitive, poor widdle baby."

NOT GOOD. Nothing to be proud of. Signs of someone who deep down hates themselves and hopes you don't notice because of a big, bad exterior. In this era, I was someone who attracted and accepted other toxic people and was abusive toward and accepted abuse from friends who had these same issues. How I met and fell in love w/ my partner who is not at all like this during that period of time back when sometimes confounds me. His boundaries and feelings are why I started really looking inward. His patience and willingness to understand what was going on for me was immense (as I was similarly patient for things related to his baggage.) FOR YEARS we had a dynamic where I'd "make fun of" "tease" "just joke" about him too harshly in front of others and he would ask me over and over to stop. I'd get better for a while, then I'd backslide and make him feel like shit in a group setting again--but hey! everyone laughed at my ~*~*just oh so hilarious comment*~*~ and so that makes it fine right?? Obviously, not, and the older I got the more I started to FINALLY see "mean" as mean and not "telling it like it is" or being a core part of my humor.

How I REALLY know that this toxic coping mechanism I used to my benefit was a thinly veiled defense mechanism style behavior to cloud my deep deep deep self loathing is because when I'd be talking w/ my partner about his very reasonable and normal request that I not say unnecessarily cruel things about him for fun in front of others, I would be afraid of things like, "But that's part of who I am? It's my humor."

I really thought so lowly of myself that I believed that if I wasn't witty-mean, people wouldn't love me. That I wouldn't still be funny. That I wouldn't be ME unless I was being MEAN. It was so backwards and upside down because my meanness did make me harder to be around, and people were right there loving me anyway, not because of it, but despite it.

It's so sad to realize this! Looking back and describing this girl now feels in both parts foreign to me and also like looking in a mirror. I've been in 20 years of some form or another of "recovery" from this kind of childhood now, and I'm about 15 years into true healing and re-parenting myself. Almost 14 years ago, I made the biggest shift toward killing this old mentality...I moved away from my home town and the people I spent my days around to that point. I had an opportunity for a hard reset in my social life and behaviors, leaving behind old reputations that didn't serve me. And I’m still me. I’m spicy and I’m real and I’m blunt and I’m funny but I’m not cruel or mean anymore. The old me sometimes still rears her ugly head, especially when I'm tired, stress, or dysregulated. But it's less "how I am" now than ever in my life.

As I've been thinking about this whole topic for quite a few weeks now, and I tried to articulate what I did that really changed me and allowed me to shed that mean girl shell of armor I was wearing that I had so thoroughly needed to outgrow. If these things resonate with you, I do have some pieces of advice.

Speak from your personal values 100% of the time. That means defining your personal values first, not just accepting what you think is valuable you've been told by others. Once I grew the maturity to understand I needed my own life values, it was very simple to grasp that I was not in line with them. My top 5 personal life values are: love, equity, humor, loyalty, and open communication. Mean jokes don't check many of those boxes.

Become your own best friend first. My behaviors were driven by self-hatred I did not choose. When I choose how I want to feel about myself, I choose self-compassion, and I actively cultivate this mentality and practice all. the. time so that I don't backslide.

Stop "telling it like it is." This is not helpful. No one needs something obvious and cruel pointed out. This is basic "THINK" acronym stuff. It's a classic because it works. Is what you're about to say.... "true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, kind." Telling it like it is is only TRUE, it's rarely -HINK.

Never "just joke" about something someone could possibly be vulnerable about. If someone has a physical wound, you don't jab your finger into it for fun. When someone has an emotional tenderness, you similarly don't jab a mean comment into it. When in doubt, just don't joke about it.

Have actual hard conversations and "call outs" in the right times/spaces. Sometimes behavior that one friend may call "mean" is actually a very necessary hard conversation to the other person. So it's helpful to just remember that those kind of real-deal communications are rarely done effectively or productively with an audience or by using humor. Real shit deserves a real shit tone.

Push yourself to say the nicest stuff and just be fucking sincere and genuine. Tell your friends you love them. Tell your friends when you are obsessed with what they are achieving/doing/saying. Tell your friends WHAT you love about them. Make an effort for your most important relationships to have far, far more "positive bids" than negative.

Use "teasing" or "self deprecating" humor selectively and strategically. Sometimes, my partner and I DO tease each other by having open communication and actually knowing one another's boundaries, I now understand what's fine and what's not. So I can proceed w/o hurting him. But I don't know most people to that level, so I'm not going to try to tease someone else in front of others w/o that knowledge anymore. Self deprecating humor has also been a go-to for me in the past and one of the people I could be meanest to was myself. I realized I should use it sparingly with people who I don't know well, too, because I don't necessarily need to give them a cheat sheet to what my baggage is. And lastly, in general, I think that we should ALL be very very careful to spare strangers our sarcasm, deadpan comments, or whatever. Many folks are neurodiverse or otherwise don't get your sarcasm and your implications can be lost in translation. You never know what topics, with strangers, might be a hornet's nest you stumble into.

PFEW! Ok, I think that's plenty for now! If you've got similar tips or thoughts, LMK! Of course, I still fuck up my practice of not being mean all the time, but the best thing about having done this work and shared it with those around me is that my friends are much more like to say something like, "OW! Was that your dad talking for a sec?" and help me than to just go on assuming I'm an asshole. 😆

#healthy relationships #abuse #interpersonal relationships #toxic relationships #child abuse #self compassion #healing #reparenting #resources #advice

[podcastjam]

Project Spotlight #4: The Ichorous Rot

Time for another project spotlight! Today, we're chatting with Sam from The Ichorous Rot.

Tell us a bit about yourself and your teammates!

@spinning-logic: Hey-o, I'm Charlie. I will be voice acting, sound editing, and assisting in some writing for our Podcast Jam entry! My first ever fiction podcast was Welcome to Night Vale (as it is for many, I'm sure), and my current favorite is pretty squarely tied with Malevolent and The Magnus Archives--though I'm truly loving Protocol too. I'm dipping my toes into hearing even more podcasts, like WOE.BEGONE and Old Gods of Appalachia. This is the first Podcast I've ever worked on, and hopefully what I learn from it will lead to creating more!

@moookar: Hi hi hello, I’m Mooo! I’m voice acting and writing. I’ve never worked on a podcast before TIR, but boy oh boy do I have lots of experience listening: WOE.BEGONE, Malevolent, and The Grotto are some of my current favorites, and I got started listening with The Magnus Archives and Dimension 20. Most of all, I’m just a fan of any speculative fiction I can get my hands on.

@gooboogy: I'm G! I do the music and some of the voice acting for The Ichorous Rot. I've been listening to audiobooks for ages and I listened to The Adventure Zone but only really started listening to audio dramas about a year ago with The Magnus Archives and Malevolent. It's not until I listened to WOE.BEGONE that I considered doing one myself! I don't have a fav podcast, but I have some fav characters such as Lucas Miller, Elias Bouchard, Kayne, and Ty Betteridge respectively. My fav genre is when Shit Gets Weird and I love it best when there's fucked up little blorbos :3

@fluxoid: Hey there! I'm Niall! I'll be doing some of the voice work for the Ichorous Rot. I've been listening to audio drama (and actual play) podcasts for over a decade now, starting with Welcome to Night Vale (of course). Current favorites are probably WOE.BEGONE and Midst, though I'm listening to many more. This is my first foray into the creative side of things and I'm excited to see where it goes!

@falloutcoys: Hello, I'm Sam! I'll be co-writing for The Ichorous Rot. I got started listening to WTNV in 2014 but really got into audio dramas when I picked up TMA in 2021. My current favorite pods have to be Midst,Not Quite Dead and WOE.BEGONE! This will be the first show I'm involved being published, but I'm writing my own passion project as well (@aboardtheichthyoid).

What's your podcast about?

Our project is set in 1880s West Virginia. Dr. Theodore Yates as he's overwhelmed in his duties as Janesville’s only doctor by a mysterious illness spreading through the town. We follow him through a combination of his own medical notes recorded on a wax cylinder, and snippets of audio following him and his best friend Alonzo as he tries to find a way to resolve The Ichorous Rot. It's a mystery that explores the effects of working class life and generational trauma through a supernatural lens.

What are you most excited about in this event?

This event has been such a great learning opportunity and way to collaborate with others! Everyone has had great ideas and we're able to bounce off each other and flesh out the story together, which is a really unique experience.

Any advice for other participants, or those on the fence about joining?

If you've been on the fence about joining, go for it! This is a really fun experience and it has the lowest possible stakes. Worst case scenario, you've met some great people and learned about producing a podcast. Best case scenario, you make an episode you're really proud of that grows into something much bigger.

While this team is no longer looking for new members, you can follow their project here on Tumblr @theichorousrot. Additionally, with a couple days left to sign up, there's still time to join the fun and work on a Podcast Jam project yourself - find out more information here!

#project spotlight #podcast jam #audio drama #fiction podcast #pbc podcast jam

[troglobite]

jalsdkjflkdj

i just realized that there are two major social forces rn that are at odds and it's eating me alive

public discourse around social justice is major. 👍🏼

but so is the anti-cringe, anti-sincerity bullshit.

i'm just sort of like [confused bisexual brazilian woman trying to do math] about that.

someone called voyager cringe and i'm like ??? bc they're around 40, have embraced their own style, are very sincere, and maybe have elements of goofy personalities and senses of humor?

why the fuck do you care? why is that embarrassing? grow the fuck up.

i'm tired of this shit where you can't be sincere

i try to be sincere w my friends and they act like they're fucking allergic (again if you're reading this it most likely doesn't apply to you)

and i'm really tired of it

i feel like some "well meaning" ppl have appropriated and weaponized sincerity to be nice instead of kind maybe? and now, what, we're just supposed to never be sincere abt anything?

you're just never supposed to believe anyone unless they're being a giant fucking asshole abt it, or super negative?

like hello, isn't that the problem w the far right? they don't believe that any of us sincerely think that healthcare education housing and food should be free. they don't believe in sincerity. they mock it.

and i feel like ppl on the left act the same fucking way.

you can decide in every interpersonal reaction whether you believe or trust someone, what your reaction and response is going to be, etc.

but i just feel like ppl deride "positivity" and sincerity, still, and call shit cringe

and the things they call cringe are either

completely innocent shit that is just something sincere and maybe "weird", if even that

or

someone being bigoted in a really stupid way, or being ignorant and doubling down

and it's like

you could just call them that instead of calling them cringe

and lumping that in with your hatred of the sweet and sincere

like i'm sorry, we want to abolish prisons and police--but you wanna be a fucking jackass to every person you meet and think sarcasm and irony are the only way to operate?

idk i just see it as this weird dissonance and i'm realizing it's what makes me VERY uncomfortable

bc i am a deeply sincere person who had to learn to make jokes and be ironic and sarcastic

and i still do for fun, of course, bc we all need a healthy dose of nonsense and funsies

and idk what to do when my sincerity is only okay when i'm angry abt something

and never in any other context

being a sincere fan of something once it's fallen out of popularity is "cringe"

and i'm really tired

as someone who was bullied for a million reasons, including being weird and cringey, for like my whole fucking life--

i'd really like it if we as grown fucking adults who are smarter and better than that could fucking stop it and learn to accept sincerity into our fucking lives

sincerity has EVERY place in social justice discourse--including ppl being able to sincerely apologize without everyone not believing them or writing them off

again, everyone gets to decide on a case by case basis how they respond to situations

but in general it's like....we're really prioritizing ironic detachment and scholarly speak bc that's what the right demands of us, but then we use it with each other and that just fucking sucks, dude

if we can't have sincerity and be "cringey" around those we have to defeat in public discourse

then why can't we have it with each other?

anyway. was just thinking.

ETA:

case in point

in reading over this myself, i started internally cringing bc i'm like "wow i sound like a white person asking everyone to play nice"

but i'm literally NOT

i'm half-white and also i'm asking for sincerity that isn't just critical. that allows ppl to feel things fully and without shame. loving things, each other, being wrong, being apologetic, being upset, being afraid, being nervous.

those can all be sincere

as can the sincere belief in what a just and righteous world looks like

and of course bc of our context that makes us mad a lot of the time

but if we're not operating out of a place of love for others, what are we even fucking doing here?

and love doesn't mean passive sweetness

it CAN be sweet

but sweet can also look different for different people and different contexts

sincerity is more than that

i'm not saying "play nice" i'm saying be real and vulnerable when and where you can

we should trust each other more and feel things for real with each other, bc otherwise, what the fuck are we doing?

am i supposed to just be like "yep, the only person i can be fully vulnerable with is my therapist" and think that that's okay? NO!!!

be sincere! be vulnerable! MEAN it! love things! don't put caveats or shame on things! it's okay to be wrong and apologetic! to sincerely not know something and ask questions. to gracefully accept and answer, etc.

idfk man i'm just. yeah.

[forestwater87]

Okay, for all of you who don't feel like watching Miles RP as David

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Context may be added if I feel like it. Reactions are my goblin brain screaming. All of these came from a discord so if they don't make sense . . . see goblin brain comment.

(That link should start directly at the point where he becomes David; if it doesn't, skip to 1:40:33)

In roughly chronological order:

David: "Teachers are sort of like camp counselors during the rest of the year."

The thing is David is absolutely up his own ass enough to think this.

David: "Trail mix is expensive!"

^ said to show he understands why not everyone can donate to the charity for teachers. Very adorable, am crying.

David's "ooooh" seeing one dude was extremely non-heterosexual. Fucking bicon. Him losing his mind that one of the arenas is called "Survey camp"

David: "A person's hitting me -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry this is just pretend!"

This is just canonically how David plays video games. Either this or he's unwilling to commit violence at all, but I'll defer to Miles.

David: "That's very goat of you!"

Spencer: "Is David popular amongst his campers?"

David: "I like to think so! There's only 3 staff members, so I'm definitely in everyone's top 3."

"That also means you're in the bottom 3."

David: "Well, I choose not to think of it that way."

(I have to keep adding reacts so you can tell when one quote ends and another begins. Judge not lest ye be judged)

I think the other person in the stream is named Spencer. Friend of Miles. I know literally nothing else about him and am not even confident on those facts.

Every time he says something so non-David in his David voice I die: "I have a lot of grenades!"

David: "Oh my goodness, would you look at this beautiful scenery! Can we hike that mountain?"

This is so goddamn cute. I am dying. Miles looked at his fans and said "they will eat tonight" and I am so relieved.

David: "Not to be a couple of Greedy Garys, but I say we get this [care package] and then I'll drop another one!"

The fact that Miles is grinning like a lunatic the entire time is very good. (Also if this is formatted badly then I'm sorry but not all that sorry. I'm doing my best and David would be proud of me.)

David: "Didja getim? Didja getim? didja getim? How 'bout now?"

Spencer: "I didn't get 'em."

David: "Well, you tried your best and that's all that matters."

He calls healing "a little health kiss." I'm not sure why but it's very important to me.

David: [while jumping to murder someone] "Hi! Scuse me!"

(i just need something to separate the quotes okay)

David: "Well you know what gang, we did our best. You don't always win the 3-legged race. You did a wonderful job!"

Then there's a bit where they talk about Spencer's time at summer camp:

David: "ooooh hand-holding's pretty serious!"

David is too pure.

David: [dreamily] "Did you fall in love, Spencer? A summer love?" [puts hands up to his face]

Then there's the fact that David/Miles gets to pick where they play each round, and he keeps insisting on going to the one called "Survey Camp" every single time because it has the word "camp" in it.

David: "Now, I don't like to disagree, but . . . I was thinking we could go . . . to Survey Camp!"

Spencer reminds him that technically since David's the one with the power to choose, his opinion is the only one that matters:

David: "Everyone's opinion matters. And my opinion is we're going to camp."

David just steamrolling over Spencer's interests is very good. There are these little selfish nuggets sprinkled in among the wholesomeness that really capture the full David experience.

David: "Well, he's climbing up . . . he's coming my direction . . . oh, he looks scary . . ."

Spencer: "Is he coming towards me?"

David: "Oooh, I don't know. I'm dead!"

The positivity is relentless. I think Miles said on twitter afterwards that this whole thing was exhausting and I can see why. Being David is no picnic . . .

David: "I have a question: do we have to shoot each other in this game?"

And then a few seconds later:

David: "I'm just wondering if maybe there's a way we can, you know, help others. Talk through our issues."

And a few seconds after that:

David: "I was asking if they wanted to be friends in the game!"

I believe that moved killed him, too. Precious.

Also we're interrupting the real Miles!David content to share something my friend suggested to me while I was watching this and giving her quotes; she said that maybe David just calls everything camp to make life more fun, and then sent me this imaginary exchange that actually killed me all the way to death:

David: Gwen Santos would you go to marriage camp with me

Gwen: I'm going to have to change this story when I tell everyone

It made me laugh quite a bit.

Anyway, back to the video!

Spencer: "How do you sign up for [Camp Campbell]?"

David: "Well, um, you can fax, uh, an application to [email protected]. And . . . you can know that myself and Gwen and Quartermaster and sometimes Mr. Campbell will do our best to make sure they get what they need! Which more than anything is love and support. And friendship."

Spencer: "How many dollars does this camp cost?"

David: "You know . . . it is, um . . ."

And then the conversation switches subjects and David breathes a sigh of relief.

Very shortly after this he changed his character from a woman (she was wearing a yellow shirt, which he liked because the campers wear yellow shirts) to "a Forward Scout with a positive attitude!"

"I like his style."

Spencer: "Does everybody abuse David verbally?"

David: "You know, sometimes people have harsh words. Mostly Max, and Neil, and Gwen, and Quartermaster, and Nurf."

Spencer: "Did you just list almost everyone?"

David: "Mmm . . . I'd say maybe a third."

Poor David. Somebody please protect him.

Spencer: "Yeah, I think people abuse David. I get that vibe. Or at least, I feel it in my heart. Like I wanna put ants in your bunk or something."

David: "Well, I think that says more about maybe some of the hurt you're carrying with you. And sometimes when people don't know how to process that, they act out. Do you want some trail mix?"

David just said his favorite part of trail mix is the raisins which is so cute. "They have a little bit of salt on them, which isn't typical for a raisin."

And he keeps telling chatters to watch their language.

David: "Who is my favorite camper? Aww, you know I couldn't pick a favorite! . . . But I know who has the most potential, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

I KNEW IT!!!!!

I've been saying for years that David doesn't have a favorite and gravitates towards the ones he thinks need him the most AND I FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT!

David: "Well you know, Gwen swears and that's okay."

shipping intensifies

David: [gasp] "The moss is growing on the north side of the rock!"

Every time he nerds out about weird shit in the game I gain 3 seconds to my life.

Spencer: "Did you get teabagged?"

David: "What's that?"

Spencer: "It's where somebody places their most intimate bits on you for . . . friendship."

David: [softly] "Oh, I don't know about that."

Also David confirms that the whole show has been a single summer, so please see the "vindication" gif above.

David: "I know a lot of fun camp songs."

Spencer: "Sing 3."

David: [starts singing] "Bum-bum-bumblebee, bumblebee tuna, I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna . . ."

Spencer: "Okay, please stop. I immediately regret this decision."

David: "Max said the same thing! One of my campers. And, uh, and my co-counselor, Gwen."

He's literally made of sunshine. I would die for this fictional man.

Spencer: "Are people at camp against their will? I feel like they are."

David: "No! . . . They don't always like it immediately, but it grows on them."

Spencer: "It sounds like they're there against their will."

David: "Well I just think that's a negative way of looking at it."

FWIW Spencer makes an excellent foil to David. Not as aggressive as Max or as dour as Gwen, but he brings a very . . . like, straight-man energy to the conversation. Like how a normal person would react to David IRL. I'd enjoy seeing these two interact more.

Spencer: "It's like your overpositivity is wanting me to balance it out with negativity."

David: "You know, I feel like that dynamic's pretty popular with me."

eeeeeeee <3

And the last one that I personally found noteworthy:

David: "One day we'll be able to afford safety equipment. Until then, we'll just have to deal with Quartermaster's Ropes Course. And a lot of pillows."

There's point near the last 20 minutes where either it got kinda boring or I just got too tired to keep track. But if there are any quotes you think I missed, please share them! This was a really lovely bit of content to feed our starving maw, and I appreciate Miles very very very much for taking one for the team.

#campcamp #camp camp #cc david #roosterteeth #rooster teeth #miles luna #this isn't content #it's more like a public service #also i threw the gwenvid in like the trash goblin I am

[mskimkaty]

URS| J.JH

Fluff, smut

wc: 5k

synopsis: One thing led to another, and you didn’t meant to fuck up, majorly.

warnings: smut, smut with plot, unprotected sex, manhandling, swearing. 

"Come on. I promise you it will be fun." You rolled your eyes for god knows how many times as you scan through your biology book. You have an essay due tomorrow and you're idiotic of a brother is asking you to come party tomorrow Friday night.

"Oppa, Really. I have so many papers piling up, and I can't afford to slack off. Ask Taeyong or Johnny Oppa or someone! I know for a fact that you have tons of friends, why are you bothering me?" You brush the strands that poke on your forehead and continued with what you're doing, you're one blunt girl but your brother isn't having any of it today. You heard your Doyoung lets out a sigh and you almost dance in victory assuming that he's gonna kiss your head goodbye and let you have the peace you deserve.

"They are going! Don't you want to come? Everyone's coming including your friends." He pleaded once more and your eyes instantly shoot up at him.

Did they just bail on you on a Friday night? You asked yourself— Maybe, They did.

You continued typing on your laptop while scanning the book placed on your right side. "I don't know, Oppa. I have tons to do. But I'll let you k— fine! I'll come! Okay!" You surrender once You saw that he won't back down from talking and You just need your own sweet peaceful time back. Finally, Doyoung kisses the side of your head "It's a deal, Here is your fav, caramel macchiato," He hands you the drink with a shit-grinning smile that makes him a look like a bunny beading you goodbye before reminding you that's it's a settled deal.

Seriously, he won't last a second with you once he spots his brothers from his damn frat house. You decided to call Seulgi and ask if they really are coming and that imbecile brother of yours, practically lied to your face without blinking. But since it's a Friday night, Seulgi decides to ask the others to come.

On Friday night, the others basically made you a living doll, pampering you here and there, applying cosmetics, and choosing an outfit for you.

"You can't do that, Sooyoung-ah! Y/N's very conservative in that area!" Joohyun shouted at Sooyoung for choosing a black off-shoulder that clings on your shapes like a second skin and deeps lowly in your chest area, the material is thick enough to keep you from the cold air but it leaves you with bare shoulders—still, you don't think it's a good idea, It was already getting cold. "Yeah, that's my main purpose. She has the biggest boobs in this room, why not be proud and parade it? Yah, don't be embarrassed by God's gift, a lot of women want big boobs, especially someone like yours, It's not small but it's not that big to look awkward either, plus, women pay loads of money to have that kind of boobs," She stated.

"I can't believe we're talking about my body parts," you muster all the courage not to punch this Unnie for blabbing nonsense but everyone agreed, either way. "Please don't let me wear that," You begged, already hating the idea. "Unnie, that's too low, just one accidental pull and-" you were cut off from talking when Wendy smirks at you. "Who's going to pull your top? Unless if you're going to have a productive night and let someone pull it down, then yes, definitely. You're going to parade your boobs,"

She's in the fashion department together with Sooyoung and nothing or no one is stopping the two of them when it comes to deciding someone's attire and their opinions are always validated especially when it comes to clothes.

"You gotta be kidding me!" You move out of Sooyoung's hold when Seulgi showed you a nipple tape. "Yah! Kim Y/n! stop acting like a Goddamn pre-schooler and use this already!" Sooyoung Shouted grabbing your arms again and caging you using her arms around your neck.

Fuck your life.

Fuck growing up as a conservative chick, it was hard when you grew up with two older brothers, basically growing up wearing varsity shorts and not the colorful skirts like a normal girl would do. You did go with that off-shoulder top pairing it with a white tennis skirt. Totally parading your cleavage and shoulders not to mention the lack of shorts for protection under your skirt making you want to turn back and walk your way out of this goddamn house. "Hey, look guys I have big boobs." Written in your forehead. Seriously, they won't let you live a peaceful life.

Upon arriving at your brother's frat house, you heard someone whistle "If it isn't our baby Y/n!" Yuta hollered when they spotted Sooyoung and you walking in the foyer towards the inside of the house. It was already packed, empty vodka and beer bottles are already scattered at the side of the kitchen, there was a huge container at the center island that contains different kinds of beers placed in a stack of ice cubes. Your mouth watered. You wouldn't mind a good cold beer.

"Cut it out Yuta, She's not a baby anymore," Seulgi retorted already chugging her second bottle down her throat "I know! It's just that it's my first time seeing her with a skirt and not her brother's pants on." Yuta received dirty glances from the others and a hard punch from Jungwoo who hugged you— his baby sister protectively. You felt Jungwoo's knuckles hit you on your head and you pout your lip at him, "Yah, what are you wearing?" he asks you,

"I know I look ridiculous," you say as you rolled your eyes at him. Jungwoo doesn't think that you looked ridiculous, it's just that, he wasn't used to seeing you wearing girl clothes and not the usual ones where he and Doyoung don't need to protect you from prying eyes around.

"Fuck you, That's my sister you're talking about." Doyoung gives him a playful nudge and Yuta only smiles wickedly like a perverted mad man, you were used to him, though. He was just being himself and teasing you. You were thankful, for hyping you up, so you felt a little confident as you grab for a beer after Donghyuck gives you your first shot of tequila for the night, your throat instantly heats up as you take the liquid in, the night is long.

"Yeah, I'll remember this you fucking moron," you joked, probably ignoring him for the rest of the evening, jokingly. "So this is the famous Phi kappa house," Wendy says looking around, spotting Eunwoo in the process from the living room walking towards your group with Jaehyun in tow, walking behind him while holding a beer in his hand and his phone in the other.

You actually don't know him that very well since you're still a freshman, and you just heard he's from the Architecture department, one of your brother's new frat brothers, Sooyoung mounted that Jaehyun was in an exchange program and was originally from the states, you see him for a few times around campus but that was that. You never greeted each other, unlike the others, or even acknowledge one another.

You scan the living room where everyone is getting wasted from every corner of the house. "Where's Johnny by the way?" Irene asked no one in particular scanning the area. "Getting laid," Eunwoo said pulling Wendy to sit on his lap. There was a brief emotion in her eyes that you can't decipher but you ignore it anyway.

"But Mark said he's with him, though?" Seulgi commented while Eunwoo only shrugged. Yuta and Donghyuck handed each one of you your drinks. Another strong scent of vodka makes it way up to your nostrils, your head spins just by smelling it, Sooyoung grimace at the smell, "This is basically; Vodka with a drop of juice in it."

"Watch out, Noona. The Juice is probably for color only." He whispers and she winces more. "Who the fuck even mixed this?" She asks as she took a sip at her drink. Jaehyun laughs at her.

"Jung fucking Jaehyun!! you little shit," She hollered. "Sorry, Noona." he winks at her and you watch the both of them in the sides. You wished socializing was that easy. You hate how awkward you get sometimes.

"Y/n's not good at drinking." You heard your older brother says and you look at him. "It's fine, let the girl cut some slack besides we have tons of people in the group to take care of her later," Johnny says after suddenly appearing at your side with Mark hugging you. "My favorite human being- Girl, What the fuck are you wearing?!" Mark's hands stayed on your waist and Jungwoo watched as Jaehyun's eyes linger on where Mark's hands was placed around you, he only smiled wickedly as he watches his Hyung chug on his bear problematically.

You gather the courage to drink the vodka in just one gulp. The strong taste leaving a trace in your mouth down your throat. It leaves a cool sensation but at the same time drawing a burning line down your throat. You accidentally made a weird sound and you sounded like a drowning piranha. The others only looked at each other and then bursting out laughing after registering the weird sound you made. Donghyuck hugged you after shouting "My Noona, so cute!!" at the top of his lungs while hugging you tightly.

The night went by, the sound booming in the house as you jam to it in the corner with Jungwoo, Mark, and Donghyuck, Jaehyun tagging along. Sipping in your vodka now and then.

"I'm going out, it's too suffocating in here," I blurted clumsily. As I start to walk, you felt Mark's hands in your arms. "Why?" you asked.

"You're drunk. You don't really think I will let you go on your own. In a party- looking like that." Mark says protectively. "Come with me then." You asked. Mark looked in front feeling conflicted, you followed his gaze and you saw him eyeing a girl who was basically eye-fucking him in return. "Suit yourself." You turn to Donghyuck who were busily conversing with another girl in the side. "I can't believe you choose to get your dick wet first rather than keeping your best friend company." you turn to Jaehyun who was looking at you. "I'll come with you, I was thinking of getting a smoke either way," Jungwoo says.

You clumsily withdraw from Mark's grip. "Fine, I'll take my boring of a brother with me then." Mark nodded seemingly unaffected and Jaehyun only laughs at him as he shakes his head.

You decided to hang in the garden area. "Wait- hey," you turned to face him "Just a minute," Jaehyun leaves his bottle behind before grabbing his leather jacket. You stop mid-sentence a big what the hell is written on your face. "You're not my brother. Where the hell is my brother?" you asked your eyes unfocused. Jaehyun put his jacket on, his bubbly facade was completely gone as he turns to you.

"Well, for starters, you drag me here," Jung Jaehyun says "Oh- my bad. You can go back if you'd like." you sit on one of the chairs in the garden. Closing your eyes in the process waiting for him to walk away but you hear the clang of metal and a chair being dragged instead. You opened your eyes knowingly. Jaehyun, sitting in front of you.

"Well, fresh air isn't that bad, either," like you, Jaehyun closes his eyes for a moment, basking in the silence with the soft bass booming in the background "But it's your party, you should go back, Oppa." you watch him for a second but decides to close your eyes again, the fatigue drowning into your body suddenly, hearing you call him that does wonders inside of him, you honestly don't mind calling him that even though you both weren't in terms to have that kind of relationship yet but you consider all your brother's friends who are much older than you a close friend already.

Jaehyun was wearing his usual black t-shirt with his denim ripped jeans, with his white clean snickers making a sound as he tapped on the floor probably jamming to the music from the house. He always wears black shirts, If not black you sometimes see him wearing white, he was so basic when it comes to his clothes but still looks good that it's maddening. Not that you're checking him out on a daily basis, you had eyes, and you always see him everywhere.

"It's my house, but not my party." He says as you continued drinking from the cup you were holding, you tried offering him the cup you were holding and he reached out for it, you watched the way his Adam's apple move in fascination.

You blinked the thoughts away. The drink making you feel hot, "So why did you transfer here?" you tried making small talks just to ignore the unwanted thoughts about him. He smiled and cocks his head to the side, his smile becoming faint as he stares at your drunken state. you can barely keep your eyes open but still sip from the same cup the both of you were sharing.

"Okay, that's enough." He blurted messily. Even he can't form the right words to say. "Enough with the drinking." He added.

"Are you trying to babysit me?" you asked. Dumbfounded. You laughed at the idea. "You haven't answered my question, though." you sit with your legs crossed and you put your forearms on your knees leaning closer to him, Jaehyun sees the deep in your top, your cleavage showing more than intended, skin glistening under the lights, he moved his eyes away from your form, mentally cursing.

"I just needed the scholarship and the University offered one so I took it." He says, that made you confused for a second, "I thought your family is loaded?" you asked. "Were comfortable," he answered you. Disbelief was written on your face "Isn't that what super-rich Asian kids answer with that type of questions?" he laughs at you. "Both my sisters are also a scholar back at home, I had to be a little competitive, it runs in the family."

Damn.

"They do?" you asked. He shifted his gaze everywhere but you. For some reason you wanted his attention on you, there was a sudden change in his demeanor as the mood between the both of you change,  "You're making this hard for me." He says with finality. You tilt Your head to the side. "Then, aren't you going to do something about it ?" you asked laughing. You stood up walking back to the house. He's head moving as his eyes study every move you make, you back up and turn to face him,

"Y/n, I don’t do one night stand,"  He blurted his lips forming a tight line after, Jaehyun walks to you, grabbing you by the waist, you grab at the back of his neck, taking your time and looking at his lips with the same want he gives. "Then, this is our day one."  you say your last words before pulling him for a kiss.

Kissing Jaehyun felt- wet, You felt his arms circle your waist as he hoists you up to cradle him, making you break the kiss. "Won’t you regret this in the morning?" He manages to ask before you dig to taste his lips again. "I still think you’re drunk and will probably regret this in the morning,” He blurted out, you pulled him again lips meeting, “But oppa, that’s not the problem right now, and I really think we should think about that tomorrow.” you convinced him, Jaehyun was having the last bit of patience and he just want to take you to his room and fuck your brain senseless.

This kind of confidence is new to you, though, this wasn't your first time getting laid, it wasn't like you do this normally, either. You still remembered your first time, it was during your senior year, there was this one guy who acts like he swept you off of your feet but doesn't even last 5 minutes into the sex, his dick wasn't small per se, but it wasn't that big either, though, you can't really tell, it's not like you have seen lots of different male sex to compare, you remember it had hurt, and just, hurt in general. He sucked at sex and only minded his own release, penetrating you without getting you wet first. Your mind came back to Jaehyun when he sucks at the skin below your right ear and you shivered at the pleasure. You don't even understand the logic of you kissing Jung Jaehyun when you're not that close. What would Doyoung and Jungwoo think? or how would they even react? "What are you thinking?" Jaehyun broke the kiss once again, feeling that you're somehow distracted. His thumb draws small circles at the inside of your thighs and you cling to him as he walks through the back door to the basement of the house where it was exclusive for the members only. and I'm kissing him.  

Once inside, he put you down, "Just thinking of my brothers," you answered. "Please don't tell me you're going to back out and leave me hot and bothered."

"Of course not." you pull him back down and attached your lips to his, Jaehyun broke the kiss once again and lead you to the stairs up to his room, the lack of people made you look at him questioningly but he just pulls at your hand, Jaehyun opened the door to his room, shoving you against it and kissing you desperately. You moaned at the pain shooting at your back, something flashed in his eyes; realizing how manhandling affects you.

He broke the kiss and study your reaction. "You can't keep doing this to me." He manages to say. You were so ready and wet for him, and he's not even doing anything to you besides kissing you. Jaehyun lowered his head on your neck just where your weak spot is and a soft moan escape from your lips.

You pushed him back as you kiss him, backing up until the both of you fell to the mattress of his bed with you straddling him. Tonight was supposed to be just a normal girl's night out. But, here you are making out with Jung Jaehyun, both of your brother's best mate.

You are so fucked up.

Jaehyun lowered his head and attached his lips to your neck, lapping on it just where your weak spot is as a soft moan escapes from your lips. Jaehyun, he can't even control his urges at this point anymore, seems like keeping his hands off of you would be a problem in the future, the heat in his lower body was already rising as he kissed your slightly parted lips. Your body was a victim of him, your sight getting blurry at the intensity of his kisses. Jaehyun run little kisses down your skin, removing your top in one go, as much as he thinks you look fucking good on it, he wants nothing to do with it.

Jaehyun's breath hitched when he saw your bare chest. You mentally pat your head for going against the nipple tape, it would be fucking embarrassing to get rid of it in this situation. He grabs your breast causing you to flinch, a sigh-like moan escaping your lips, His fingers painlessly kneaded the mounds of your breasts, distorting them erotically in his palm.

Jaehyun find your scent sweet, he was marking you inside his head,

Mine,

He was hooked with intense possessiveness and desire, palming you through your undies, making you ark your back against the bed and rubbing your heat against his hands for much better friction, you were so, so close. The heat in your core being unbearable.

"You keep surprising me with how dirty you are," he murmured against your ears when he realized you were  just wearing your undies without a protective shorts. Jaehyun played with the hem of your panties before ripping them off you. "Let's keep the skirt, I want to fuck you in it."

"You're fucking unbelievable, Oppa. What am I going to wear later?" you ask while heaving, waiting for his next move that he'll do. Jaehyun took one breast into his mouth and sucked on it, his tongue lapped around your stiff bud, biting it lightly before repeating, something hot flowed from your already wet core, making the two of you stop at your ministration, "fuck, fuck, fuck." you chant like a mantra.

Jaehyun couldn't believe that you're coming just from that. Your body was so responsive that the idea got him rock hard in instant. You turn away when Jaehyun strips from his clothes, embarrassed to see him naked so suddenly, his cock springing up, your mouth watering at the sight, Jaehyun grabs at your ankles when you come down from your high, you turning limp but doesn't protest, spreading you apart and positioning his self between your legs. Then, an overwhelming force suddenly pierced through you in one go, moaning at the delicious stretch you felt with being filled by his cock.

You were a moaning mess by now, Your pupils dilated, choosing to breathe as Jaehyun rams at you anomalistically, you felt dizzy by the sudden intense pleasure of being overstimulated, your sensitive walls squeezed tight as if rejecting him,

Jaehyun growled against your skin, "Fuck, baby, loosen up, You're too tight."

One more thrust and Jaehyun already got you spasming around him, Jaehyun grunted lowly. "How obscene, I just put it in and your body likes it so much." your face heat up in embarrassment, body tightening on him causing him to let out a suppressed groan as he comes undone inside you.

You smirk at him, watching his expression as you flex your thighs around him, prolonging his orgasm, his eyes trembled holding down your forearm above your head, "You like it, Oppa?" you asked smugly at him, tired, and being over-stimulated also by him. "How fun," you wrapped your legs around his waist and tightly squeezed where your lower abdomens met.

"Y/n," He growled, seeing your eyes sparkling with mischievousness, Jaehyun's lips curved oddly, deciding to play the game you were playing, he smirked and grab at your thighs, pulling them apart, he pulled out and rammed back inside, hard. You screamed at the pleasure, you know it was the beginning of a fierce-long night of sex that's seemed to never end. Jaehyun's hard erect cock penetrating endlessly through you, tormenting at the same time pleasuring you.

you screamed against him, forgetting the party going downstairs and ignoring the phone chiming down the floor with all the worried text messages from your brothers and Unnies. Halfway through, the two of you lost your senses with how good the fuck is, you falling asleep as fatigue runs through your body after Jaehyun manages to pull four more orgasms in you.

Rays of the sun coming from the outside sipping through the curtained window were hot against your skin, making you come to your senses. You look at the unfamiliar vicinity, every piece of furniture was unfamiliar to you. A big flat-screen television hangs on the wall in front of the bed. You look down to see your clothes lying together with an unknown shirt and pants on the ground.

You moved slightly. Groaning because of the pain you felt. Horror strikes your face when you registered that someone's arm was draped in your bare stomach.

Holy fucking shit

You lifted your head to see someone sleeping beside you. A mop of brown hair greeted you, thinking hard to remember the past events of last night. Flashbacks of last night start to flood in your memory and you mentally slap your face. You wanted to scream your heart out in pure panic and stupidity but that wouldn't be a nice idea. Instead, you slowly lift his arm, got out of the bed, and pick your clothes up, Horrified at your ripped undies.

you ran to the bathroom as quietly as possible. Turning the faucet on as you see your reflection in the mirror. Red marks were all over your neck and chest. What the hell did you do last night? No, why did you do that last night?!

You quickly get dressed. You need to get the hell out of here before he wakes up and asks you questions even you don't know how to answer yourself, worst being rejected straight up and be doomed for the rest of your college life.

You left. Hopefully, without leaving any traces behind. When you got home Wendy was watching the television. Upon entering, she bombards you with questions, asking why you can't be contacted only then you remembered you don't have your phone with you. fuck, way to go on not leaving any traces behind. You borrowed her phone and tried to dial your number.

"Hello?" a man's voice answered the call and you instantly cut the call off. You know it's him. How can you forget the voice of the man screaming your name against your eras last night?

You change into more comfortable clothes after taking a long cold shower, if only you can remove every trace of what happened last night, the evidence is all over your body. It's already 3 in the afternoon, your headache isn't helping with the situation, and you self-pity yourself in your room.

You cried because of your stupidity. Goddamn that alcohol, You swear to never drink again. You heard a knock on your door. Wendy's head pocking from outside. "Can I come inside?" you manage to say a small yes.

"What happened to you?" She asked. You tried to form a suitable lie inside your head but Wendy bit you to it. "The last time I saw you last night was when you were dragging Jaehyun outside and you two never come back inside, again."

in fact, you did, using the back door.

You know you can easily dodge the question but Instead, the guilt it you out of humiliation. "Unnie, can we not talk about this?" you cried. Wendy left after consulting you once more, you were grateful that she didn't push you to talk about it.

The nect day, Jungwoo visited your apartment handing you, your phone back. "Jaehyun Hyung give this to me, says it was yours." you waited for him to ask you questions about your whereabouts but he didn't, still he didn’t let the opportunity slide to make fun of you and Jaehyun.

On Monday you were at a café near the University's entrance when you felt someone sit next to you, you look up from your book to see who it was and after hours and hours of hiding from that person; here he is sitting next to you.

He dared not to look at you, voluntarily pack your things, ready to escape when you heard him say "You know we need to talk things through." you looked at him in horror. Why can't he just let this slide? why does he care so much? I've been ignoring his calls, He probably put his contact number on your phone before Jungwoo came and returned it to you.

"Can we just pretend that it never happened?" you blurted. "That was a one-night thing. We were both drunk. Can't you just let it be? Just thank me for it. I won't add from all the girls you banged and probably want's your support or want something from you." you harshly retort.

"What?" he asked you frowning, both of you looked at each other before he breaks contact and looks away. instantly turning a bright shade of pink. "Just, forget it." you blurted and walk off.

You vented all your anger in your classes, putting all your focus on every subject, by the time you were done with your last subject, you spotted Jung Jaehyun outside your class waiting, both hands in his jean pockets, his hair looks like he'd been running his fingers on it all day, his white t-shirt was clinging to his body, his orange ID lace tells him from the architect department.

You lowered your head, hugging your books closer in your chest, trying your best to walk past him without him seeing you. "Y/n." warm hands grab your left arm, you jolted from his touch as if you were electrified. You reacted by moving away from him, giving him more space than you intended, Jaehyun on the other hand looks angry. This reaction made him think that you were disgusted with what happened between you two, when you're really not, Halting from your steps you stood face to face with him.

"Oppa, what are you doing?" you asked, looking around as he attempts to hold your arm again but you panicked when you saw some curious eyes on both of you and the last thing you wanted was for the student body's attention on you. You jerk from his touch "I told you to drop this." you whispered, walking away from him but being the tall guy that he is, it made no effort for him to walk up beside you. You fasten your pace but to no avail, was useless to him.

"We need to talk," he said as he drags you to the gym, both of them entered the locker room where the lights were off only the lights coming from the outside were your source to see his face.

His face turns into a frown. "Stop taking me as a joke," he blurted. If he thinks you're taking this or him as a joke, he was wrong. You just want this to never happen and you don't want to be one of those girls on the lists that he victimized, you beg to defer. plus, talk about being scared of the rejection, you don't want it happening to you to the point that you started pushing him away.

"Why? Do you think this is a joke for me? I won't waste my time searching or even waiting for you if I think of this as a joke." shocked was evident on your face and he attempts to touch you. "Don't !" I squealed, putting my hands in the air across his face to stop him. "You know, I told you I don’t do one night stand with just anybody.” he says, you racked your head searching for a specific moment and then you remember how you practically throw yourself at him even going to the lengths of saying that night was your first day as a couple. 

"I feel disgusted by myself don't you know that? you want to talk? Fine, I don't want to be rejected, honestly, I'm saving my face from the humiliation, we had sex," you hysterically said. "Just because we were both drunk!"

you breathed some air in your lungs, a dumbfounded Jaehyun in front of you. "Don't look at me like that."

"You don't understand," he said seriously. “Im not taking no as an answer, you brought this up on your ownself.”

"What? don't understand what?" you asked. you ran your fingers through your hair, seriously getting tired of this. both of you were just running in circles. you couldn’t believe Jaehyun was like this, like a lost puppy, looking like a lost puppy, "If you think I don't understand the situation, then don't you think you should elaborate it more for me?" you asked. You both locked eyes, he's obviously thinking, finding the right words to talk you into this. He put his hands in his pockets. "This is different, at least for me," was the only thing he said.

"I don't believe you. and I don't need you to be responsible," you said. "Oppa, Just please forget it," you turn around and walk once again ready to leave him as a handgrip your arm but this time pulling you back harshly to be faced by him again.

You felt yourself collide with his rock hard body, his lips on yours as you tried to focus your eyes on him, you accidentally drop all the books that you have when you felt him put his other hand on the back of your neck, kissing you deeply and pulling you incredibly close, leaving no air to pass through you and him. Stuck in the same position, you did not dare to move.

He reached for your face and deepen the kiss. "What the hell-" you pushed him away but for some reason, your energy leaves the soul out of you.

He slightly nibbles at your lower lip and you automatically responded with the same urge his giving you, knowing this is wrong and that you should probably stop this, but your mind and body won't cooperate and you suddenly remembered the sensation he makes you feel back then, thinking about the situation, kissing in a dark place with only the two of you making lewd noises made you wet down there. A soft moan escapes your lips as his fingers slightly gaze at your skin just underneath your blouse.

"We both know what we want. And obviously, your body doesn't lie," he said, eyes the darkest shade as he gazes down on you with a smirk on his lips.

"Is this how you get to bed girls? because you totally got me."

"No, I'm telling you, I want you. In every way possible."

yeah, short fic for my bub so what :(((

#jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #nctsmut #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun #nct x reader #nct 127

[cheelduh]

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not. 

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe  contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

#genshin impact #genshin impact oneshot #childe x reader #childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin oneshot #tartagila #mona genshin impact #Chonghyun #kaeya alberich #master diluc #venti genshin impact #fischl #lisa genshin impact #jean gunnhildr #fanfic

[hms-no-fun]

which character in godfeels (if any) do you see yourself in the most?

i mean. it's obviously june, right? i can't joke about or entertain anything else, much as the contrarian in me might like to. "actually you'll be surprised to learn that i am most reflected in my work by dave strider" seriously? no way. it's june.

june in godfeels 1 was me at the end of a long stretch of depressed years before i figured out i was trans. in gf2 she was me after my own coming out went poorly (albeit far less violently or explicitly transphobic than june’s). there are so many ways in which this story is autobiographical, it would honestly be embarrassing to list them all.

actually i don't think i quite understood just how much the overarching plot of godfeels has pulled from my life until writing this particular exchange:

that the writing process for the multi-stage boss battle ending in june's ego death happened to coincide with a catastrophic series of events in my own life is just one of those funny cosmic mysteries you gotta run with. it's impossible for me to deny the autobiographic element of this scene as i was literally saying this to myself, to my girlfriend, to my friends: this is not where our lives end. we're going to stay together.

the barrier between me and the narrative at that point was so narrow i couldn't help but look through it and see that june has always been way more of me than i realized. she is, maybe, someone i wish i could be in a strange way, or an imagined projection of who i am, with all the wounds i wish other people could see made literal. maybe she's an allegory for me, idk. i promise you i don't actually see her that way, none of this is anything i'm doing on purpose, it's just something that has proven true over and over again. june's story is about being punished by and for queerness, so naturally i'm gonna be drawing from my own experiences there.

i have a weird relationship to june, though. sometimes i feel like i don't understand her, which is probably for the best. that's what i like about her actually. writing her scenes in the [S], it felt SO good to finally be able to write in her blue again, in her quirk again, in her VOICE again. everything about that is so precious to me and writing it feels like i'm having a pleasant conversation with myself (even when the topic of the conversation is crippling ptsd flashbacks).

i often feel bad for making june suffer so much, especially at the end of 3.1. but as time has gone on, as much as i love her, i’ve found it increasingly difficult to relate to june’s methods of dealing with trauma (or rather, her lack of methods). the last year has knocked a lot of tears out of me, and as a result i’ve become even more calloused than i already was. june needed to be put through a real ringer, the aforementioned ego death, in part because i want to be done with all this fucking psychodrama for a while, but mostly because i want to move on from pained self-reflection towards a story about building a life back up from the rubble. stepping outside your own head, finding a community, building one, and really truly moving in a singular direction for reasons that are your own for maybe the first time in your life. that’s the story i’m living, after all. maybe it’s the story we’re all living these days.

so i guess that in itself is the ultimate statement of what june means to me, that i needed her life to mirror my own so that i could continue relating to her and telling her story. i see bits of myself in a lot of other characters (writing as dave is a lot of fun, we have a very similar sense of humor), but they’re separate from me in a way that june isn’t. when i write her, it’s like coming back home. i want her to grow and live and love and find something good that lasts, because i want that for myself. i have to believe it’s possible. i know it is.

#june egbert #godfeels #homestuck #sarahposts

[foxymoxynoona]

I'm always so torn about JK and Sasha after I read them communicate. It's like they get 75 percent of the way there, say "Eh, good enough," and then have sex. Which is realistic and fun to read but means they didn't truly resolve the underlying issue usually.

Thank goodness for Michele giving advice like a boss and a good best friend.

And as someone in the LGBTQIA+ community, I appreciated Sasha's "we're done" last chapter and also understood in the latest chapter her reticent, sad acceptance that she's not done with JK but he might not be comfortable with her sexuality. It crushed me when he said he didn't want to know because while I know he meant that sweetly, it reads at face value as "I might not accept you as you are." Sasha appears to keep trucking but that's certainly weighing on her. I've been there, done that with that feeling. I can't see a woman like Sasha okay with that for too long, right? I get the feeling JK is the only time she's ever actively let herself live in the space where being accepted by her signifant other is a question.

So..... will JK process this? I would say I hope he chats with his hyungs about it and realizes the magnitude of what he actually said, but then I think he he's unlikely to talk to them about this. Did the party break some of his willingness to speak openly with his hyungs? It feels like that with his brief chat with Tae at the end. Then again, maybe these boys aren't able to him process this because they might not have the life experience to reflect on the meaning of what JK said. Hmmm. I'll be curious to see what happens.

Sidenote: I read this chapter drunkenly returning from a friend's house, which felt appropriate but now I'm in the hangover and hoping I read everything right and this ask isn't totally off the mark.

🎉

Ugh look at you out living the party life I only write about, haha. I think your ask is GREAT though!

Absolutely agree with your assessment of their conversations. They resolve immediate stuff and a little scratch of deeper stuff and move on. It's hard because on one hand, Sasha is right that sitting down and talking about EVERYTHING would overwhelm them both and might just frankly be too much. She's not wrong to protect herself about things she doesn't "owe" someone to talk about. But even if she doesn't want to talk about things, they do have an impact on her relationship, and that's a significant added obstacle for them to navigate when they really have a TON of obstacles --JK's career, her foreignness, language and cultural differences, JK's own sheltered social skills, etc.

I too love that Sasha is quick to be like 'nope, done.' She will constantly have these spaces in which she's beautifully confidence, capable, and strong (like that one, or when she told JK to ask about her job review, or when she was just really upfront about sex stuff in the beginning.) Obviously we'll learn more about her history and discovery of her sexuality later, but I think she was predisposed to find security in that community anyway. I mean that, with Maxi being gay (and having significant troubles as a teenager because of it, it'll be very heartbreaking to hear about), I think it was easier for her to make an early protective rule "if you don't accept this, fuck you."

As far as talking to the hyungs, JK's always had a weird wiggly line about what and when he's willing to talk and not. Sometimes he can't help it and things come pouring out he didn't intend (like when he and Sasha fought the first time). He likes to occasionally brag. But he also is pretty private and doesn't like to burden others with his troubles, so he may shut things up, or try to evasively (and confusingly) get vague feedback that lacks context.

And finally, love your call out that the boys are missing some life experiences. Obviously the younger you go, the more of "normal" adolescents they missed. There are times when JK will do VERY juvenile things (you know, like letting a girl at a party give him a hicky to make his girlfriend jealous...) and I would argue that it's not actually cruelty or some reveal that he's a shitty person. He and all the guys to an extent have missed out a lot on the awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing adolescent growth most of us go through in our teen years and early twenties. Which means he's going to have some of those cringe-y moments with Sasha, and it'll be up to her to decide what she can accept as him learning/growing, or what's just too much.

This was fun, thanks for the long ask!

#🎉anon #littlebean #mywriting #myao3

[palimpsestofevents]

This needed a long time but I'm curious :3

5. What is your favorite scent?

10. What is something you find romantic?

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

70. What is your ideal partner like?

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

Thank you, appreciate the commitment uwu

5. I don't really know. I love the smell of fresh coffee, lavender and gas stations.

10. Sharing. Whether it be food, fun facts about your special interests or music you love. I learn a lot about my connection with a person through what they want to let me be a part of, and what they want me to include them in.

12. I'm sad I can't move out until March. What makes me happy, dear, is you uwu

15. That'd heavily depend on my current mood and who I'm with. I have to admit I fucking miss raves, but overall I'd choose the forest.

16. I'd be cuddling and kissing right now and uhh theoretically maybe some other related activities later 👉👈👀

18. So so much. Like everything about her fascinates me. Her laugh melts my heart, her selfies blow my mind and listening to her talk about anything and everything is my favorite thing to do. I'm starting to believe in a perfect match and every minute we talk gives me 60 new reasons to do so. The way our convos go from serious to funny to cute to 👀 without the topic really changing just makes me happy. You make me happier than I've been in many years. uwu

20. Not anymore, I think. I mean you could count smoking 🙈

25. I want to see the aurora borealis with my own eyes and I haven't done that yet because I don't have a car. Or a license. Or money. Or the physical condition to take on such a journey without any of those things.

27. Let's be honest, men are fucking disgusting and I can't even count the times I've been ashamed to be one. That's all I have to say here.

59. Getting a small gift that made them think of me. Coffee. When you text me :b getting a compliment from the person I want it from. Snacks.

70. My ideal partner would be obsessed with me, while still not forgetting to prioritize themselves. A woman with an appetite for sex that matches my own (I'm sorry). I want to be able to learn from and with one another. Grow together and grow for each other. I want to hold weird deep conversations between fucking the shit out of each other, no matter if it's 3am or 3pm. I want someone who lets me support them when they need it, and who supports me when I need it. I wanna be able to laugh with them even when we're naked.

83. Yes I love being touched, ples gib touch

88. Either "I hope she's awake and texted me" or "shit I wanna go back to sleep" heh

89. I don't think I have that many specific places I want to see but yeah. Norway, your house, and wherever you would want to take me uwu

100. If I could afford it, I would like to do all of that at least once in my life

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]

[the-maxrecords-blog]

where the wild things went

Vice: Hello Max. This is your first film in five years. What on earth have you been doing with your time?

Max: Just living, you know? Living, going to school, getting done with school.

Vice: Did you ever worry, "Hang on, what if I've forgotten how to act"?

Max: I didn't really think about it until the first day or two shooting then I was like, "What the fuck am I doing here?". For the first couple of days the learning curve was pretty steep again.

Vice: How does one even go about preparing to play a sociopath? Presumably it wasn't method acting.

Max: I kind of feel like there is no such thing as acting that isn't method to some degree because if you're not actually experiencing it, then you're a fucking liar. I was talking with Billy [O'Brien - director] about it and - I forget the word that he keeps using - but it's an intuitive process. You just kind of feel it out, you know? I was pretty miserable while we were shooting, just because you're in a super dark brain space all day. Especially living in a place like Minnesota where we were shooting, six days a week. You don't get the opportunity to turn it off, you know? And that's great as far as the actual creative process goes but it sucks as far as trying to be a person.

Vice: Have you ever done a psychopath test?

Max: I don't think so.

Vice: Would you like to do one?

Max: Yeah, let's do it! Is it legit or is it some Facebook nonsense?

Vice: Oh, Facebook nonsense probably.

Max: So you're not licensed?

Vice: We're not unlicensed.

Max: I'm pretty sure it's an either-or thing.

Vice: So there are eight statements. You either agree or disagree. First one: "You rarely catch me making any plans. I'm far too spontaneous".

Max: Yeah, absolutely.

Vice: "If I got a better offer, I wouldn't mind cancelling longstanding plans".

Max: Yeah, that's probably true.

Vice: "It would be fun to drive fast cars, ride rollercoasters or go skydiving".

Max: I've been skydiving. Fast cars are fun. I don't get the appeal of rollercoasters. I guess I haven't really done a true roller coaster. It feels artificial.

Vice: Shall we disagree?

Max: No, let's agree.

Vice: Alright. "I think it's okay to step over other people to achieve my ambitions".

Max: I don't know. I don't think you necessarily need to it. I can't think of many situations that I've been in where that's necessary, where there isn't some other course of action you could take. Let's disagree.

Vice: Do you have an ambition?

Max: In the broader context of my life, I just want to gain skills. Recently I was doing an outdoor programme back in the States through this thing called NOLS [National Outdoor Leadership School], so I was off doing that for a couple of months. Getting better at being outdoors and learning how the natural world works. And I love playing music so getting better at that. Just learning to be a better, more competent person. Trying to not be a dick.

Vice: It's a good motto. Okay: "I'm very persuasive and getting people to get what I want is a real talent of mine".

Max: Agree! I think I'm pretty good at that. I've been manipulating my parents for years.

Vice: The perks of being a child star... What was that whole experience like?

Max: Really awful! Especially for children, the film world is just terrible. You can't grow up in that world and still have a connection to reality. At least if you're, like, really in it. Especially the poor folks out there who have stage parents. It's just so sheltered. The creative aspect of acting is one of the more amazing things that I've gotten to experience but everything outside of that is pretty bizarre.

Vice: Was it enough to make you think you might not want to do it anymore?

Max: I think, probably, yeah. Especially once Where the Wild Things Are came out. And that was my first real acting role too. Being thrown in the deep end as a young, pretty vulnerable person. And then you have an experience like that and there's all this stigma around it, back in the "real world". I went to the same school since I was in second grade, through most of high school, and I knew all these kids and they were my friends before and after but there was, coming back, this weird stigma, these weird assumptions that if you're in a film, you're an asshole and you don't exist in a grounded real world way.

Vice: What are your memories of working on that film?

Max: It was really important to Spike that the set was conducive to a child. So we had a million kids on set. All the crew was kind of invited to bring their families. And as a way to kind of understand the vibe that Spike wanted to cultivate, there was always music on set. The Smiths, Cemetery Gates and Big Mouth Strikes Again, all those songs. I have really wonderful nine-year-old memories of romping around on set and that music playing.

Vice: How does one move past an experience like that and into the world of adult acting?

Max: I think you just grow up and learn to be a person. I think one of the biggest learning curves for me, as a result of those experiences and then applying that to the real world, was that it took me a long time to learn to take a compliment. From twelve through to however old, you just kind of shut down. There's this assumption of an agenda. But you grow up and you learn to be a person and you temper the experiences of working in the film world with what people are actually like and you balance that.

Vice: Is there one thing you know now that you wish you knew then?

Max: No, I don't think so. I am the person I am as a result of a lot of those experiences and I love the people that I met and especially those people that I have experiences with. It is what it is. Can't change the past!

Vice: Okay: "My ability to make quick decisions means that I would suit a dangerous job".

Max: [Takes long time to decide answer] I dunno... The idea of being a smokejumper appeals to me.

Vice: What's a smokejumper?

Max: It's a term for the folks in the US that are forest firefighters and jump out of airplanes. That appeals to me.

Vice: What do you think you'd be doing if you weren't acting?

Max: Working in outdoor education probably. Working with kids or being in the outdoors. Or both.

Vice: Do you have a desire to keep acting?

Max: Yeah. I mean, I like doing it and I think creatively it's really cool and the people you get the opportunities to work with are often really wonderful people. It allows me to do other things in my own life. My parents have kind of helped me gain this perspective of it, but I think it's best for me to view it as a hobby. I like acting but I don't think it's healthy to do films back to back.

Vice: What was it about this script?

Max: I love Billy and I love Nick Ryan, the producer. I love Robbie Ryan, our cinematographer and I think, aesthetically, just the, Midwest middle America vibe, that's really cool. And the humour of the script. It's genuine and it has real emotion embedded in it but it's funny! That Fargo humour really appeals to me.

Vice: Do you have a favourite movie?

Max: It changes periodically, of course. Birdman has been one of my favourite films ever. It came out a couple of years ago and I've watched it half a dozen times. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover. I rewatched that pretty recently and remembered how good it was. People keep talking to me about Donnie Darko in relation to this film and I like that one quite a bit.

Vice:"When others are crumbling under pressure, I'm usually the one with a cool head". Agree or disagree?

Max: Yes. I think so.

Vice: When was was the last time you lost your cool?

Max: I've been working on that skill and I think I'm getting pretty good at it. It's been awhile since I've been genuinely, deeply upset about something. One of my favourite things in the world is this scar right here [shows us a fairly impressive scar on his knuckle]. I got it punching walls. It was like the perfect teenage angst motivation. The first time, I was really upset in my house because I had read something about the use of American drone warfare and just how upsetting it was and how a bunch of civilians had just been murdered somewhere in the world. And then the second time was me being upsetting at my parents.

Vice: Alright, last one: "I'm rarely to blame for things going wrong, it's usually the fault of the people around me".

Max: I mean, yeah. But I'll disagree.

Vice: Okay, let's see your results… You're 61% psychopath! "Though your conscience is in the right place, you have a pragmatic streak and generally aren't afraid to do your own dirty work".

Max: I'll take that.

Vice: There's more! "You're no shrinking violet but you're no daredevil either. You generally have a little trouble seeing things from other people's perspectives, but at the same time you're no pushover. Everything in moderation, including moderation, might sum up your approach to life".

Max: I like that. I'll take it!

Credits: Vice.com

Source: https://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/topic/max-records

#vice #max records #john wayne cleaver #I Am Not A Serial Killer #acting #Where The Wild Things Are #movie #boy

[the-princess-with-pancakes]

Emma Roberts Movie Week

It’s actually a bit unexpected. I didn’t plan this, I just watched Scream IV and her character made me love her even more, then I did after Chanel. So I thought, why not, no matter that I planned Brendan Fraser Movie Week.

 Day 1: Scream IV (2011)

It’s not the movie I want to talk about (because I plan to make a post about the whole franchise, after watching the TV Series), but about he character. I mean, how awesome is watching Emma Roberts as psycho killer. Especially a very convincing psycho killer, trying to kill Sidney. After watching Scream Queens and knowing how well she plays bitchy characters, so it was very entertaining. The third act of course. Watching her as a side character was just okay. That’s really all I can say. So yeah, there you go folks. Also the villain monologue was fun. Just read for yourself:

Favorite Jill quote:

Jill Roberts: My friends? What world are you living in? I don't need friends. I need fans. Don't you get it? This has never been about killing you? It's about becoming you. I mean, for fuck's sake, my own mother had to die, no great loss there, so I could stay true to the original. That's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane. You had your 15 minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have fucked up shit happen to you. So you have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There's only room for one lead, and let's face it, your ingenue days, they're over. A bit long, yeah, but how great. Isn’t that weird, that her monologue is longer then my text about her character?

Day 2: Wild Child (2008)

A very linear teen drama, but in England. Why would I pick that? The real question is: Why not? I mean, yes, it’s stupid, and yes, I’m an adult, but I’m still a kid inside, and I know it’s a bad movie, but it was still entertaining sometimes. Again, watching Emma playing a bitch is fun, for 20 minutes, but it was still fun. If we got through the best part, let’s get to business. Her character growth was okay, her friends were okay, their relation was okay. The school bitch was awfully stereotypical, no matter that her first appearance said otherwise. I hoped at least that from that movie, but it didn’t even give me that, so...

The fun part tho was just turning my brain off for an hour and half, and just watch Emma hanging out with some teenagers with British accent. It’s still one of my favorite female celebrities. Also her name was Poppy! It could belike the flower, but hearing “Poppy” made me think about That Poppy. Which is always a little plus. Wow, that paragraph about the things I liked is too short. Hey, Nick Frost! 

The montage was awful... it broke me from the movie every 30 seconds, which was hard to watch. Also the scene quick before the end was so cringe. At least for me. They were losing, then made a dance, and magically they won! (The dance was cringe, if someone were wondering)

Well that’s all, it was between average and okay.

Favorite quote:

Poppy: I didn't start it, it wasn't my fault, and if this were America, I would sue.

That’s true, OMC. America is beautiful, I love it, I want to visit it someday.

 Day 3: The Art of Getting By (2011) 

There is a thin line between being a good movie, and being pretentious. This movie sadly is on the wrong side of the line. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed watching this movie, it got to me, I love the main character, George, I can see myself in him, somehow. I always wanted to be that weird guy on the side, or I just want it, because these guys (like in this movie) alwayse ended up happy at the end, and I want the same thing for myself. But that’s a theme for different post. I liked seeing the world through his eyes. The scene showing how he wanted to get over Sally was great. Or when she broke him with the weird sex questions, during their “date”. Freddie’s acting was very convincing, and I didn’t saw the actor, I saw a boy with problems. The relations between him and the other characters and the way he reacten to every rational thing, he should do, but just couldn’t. I can also say a good thing about the side characters. I really liked them. The way they were created, even if some of theme didn’t have a lot of screen time, I had still fun spendind time with them. Like when Sallys’s mother told her, that she should be with George or when the painter struggled to be with Sally. I could also say about how I liked the montage and directing, but who cares? Also I liked the “development” of Freddie’s character, like in the first and second part who was becomind worse and worse...

Sadly the thing I was most anticipating in this movie was Emma Roberts and... well, Sally totally blows. I disliked her after 5 or so minutes. I’m not really sure if she’s such a bad actress, or it was just like her character was written, but Sally was so wooden. She was pretty, yes, but that’s just one of two things, that I think George could see in her (the second is, that she really cared about him and liked him, for example the scene, when they were sleeping next to each other, or when she called him every 5 minutes, whe he left her). I also really, really disliked her, when she broke my precious George! I mean, who does she think she is? (that’s not a blame on the movie, just another reason to not like her character, which isn’t a bad thing) Sally was the second most important character, but she dind’t develop at all. It was painfull to watch her in some scenes, beacause I knew that she would hurt George, because he wanted to go forwrd in some way, but she was staying the same all the time. Another thing I didn’t like was most of the third act. How George suddenly (I know it was because of his mother, he didn’t to upset her any more) change his attitude to life and so quickly straightened everything. It just wasn’t convincing for me. Also it was very predictable. Him, getting the diploma, her, going back to him, the painting, being Sally. Sad. Sadly. They could work on that a little more.

Favorite qoute:

Sally Howe: What were you like as a child?

George Zinavoy: I was such a better person than I am now.

Sally Howe: Come on.

George Zinavoy: I'm serious. I was happy. I was open. I was curious. But I'll tell you this: I knew when it was ending. I was overwhelmed with sadness when I realized that I was going to change, and that it was all most likely going to get worse, like a nostalgia for the present. I couldn't shake it... 

And it’s sad to say, that I dind’t like her creation. It really is. I hope it’s not her acting and I can see her again in a small movie, but with more. More to play and that she actually does it well. For now I like her justas the bitchy/psycho type.

 Day 4: Nancy Drew (2007)

Hey I’m actually keeping up! Only three das/movies left.

So I just looked up (on Wikipedia, I’m not a detective) that, as I thought, the movie is based on a book series for teenagers, with the same name. 

I start with the things I liked. And don’t let it fool you, there were’nt as many. The start was quite fine and fun to watch. The city and the charachters living in it. Just the world created around Nancy in her home town was adorable, just to be fine for a few minutes. I also liked Nancy at some point. I guess Emma can play charismatic characters, not just bitches. Which is good, but it wasn’t very good acting, since it also wasn’t a role that needed a good actress, just because the writting was so doll. Ahh, I wanted to say, what I liked first. So I also liked the side characters from her home town, like her father and Ned, or some of the LA characters: just Jane and Leshing. And the styling. I think the setting around our main characters was cute. Her dressing style, the style of that “hounted” house or her home town (I didn’t remember it, I’m really not familiar with the book series). Hey, Bruce Willis!

That’s sadly all, not many good things, that I could talk about. The writting tho. Ugh! It was so, so bad. Mished with that acting was just terrible to watch. Just because I liked some charachters, does not mean, I think they well written well, or that they were acted well. They weren’t. None of them. Maybe Nancy and her father a little, but that’s all. The story... Just meh. After half an hour I wasn’t feeling any mistery. And talk about tension, there was none of it. Even the scene when they were just about to kill Nancy, I was felling nothing. Oh wait, I was annoyed. Because the side characters from her new school had appeared on my screen! I hated them. Especially Corcky. uhh... I just felt like a story written by a teenager, and I think not a teenager has written it (no, it were two adult people). I mean, do they know, they can make a movie for children (and this, BTW, felt like a movie for 3-6 years old), that’s also entertaining for adults? Look at Teen Titans GO: To the Movies! (2018). That’s a good example.

Favorite quote:

Carson Drew: Phone call. Long distance from Scotland. Something about the Loch Ness Monster and some missing diamonds. Nancy Drew: Another case!

Well, despite how I disliked ths movie, I would definietly watch a sequel with Nessi. But it didn’t gross much, which I’m not suprised with.

 Day 5:

Got distracted, by discovering “The Pitch” from ScreenRant. Totally got me. Binge watched like 20 episodes.

 Actual Day 5: Paradise Hills (2019)

What a weirdly boring movie. Maybe I didn’t pay to much attention as I should, but it didn’t get me at all.

I wanted to watch something new, to see how her acting “grow” with her, but... Again, she didn’t get much to play. Which is very dissapointing. 

To start with the good things. The movie is extreamly beautiful. It looks so magical. The movie has just a 6 million budget, but it was still enough to hire Emma Roberts, Milla Jovovich, Awkwafina and to build a gorgeous set. The CGI was very visible, but only in two scenes (like the car on the beginning for example). And... That’s all? The acting of most main cast fine, I guess. 

OMC, where to start even? Idea for the story: very, very unoriginal. It’s actually felt much like The Island (2005) and a little like Sucker Punch (2011) (although I don’t remember it very well), maybe a mix of bouth. It’s not bad, it’s just made not so well. The script: dull, slow and predictible. I don’t like saying this, because I mostly shut of my brain, try to have fun and don’t predict anything, but it was hard. The ending tho. Seriously, to predictable. And no, I didn’t predict, that Jovovich is playing a fucking rose witch/vampire. That actually suprised me. The characters: they we’re okay, but mostly still to stereotypical, like for eample Milla’s witch, Emma’s main and the sidecharacter singer. Again just complaining on the same things I complained the last three movies.

Favorite quote:

Duchess: *screams, while changing into a bush*

I still have one critycally acclaimed drama (to see her acting on a good script) and a good movie to end the marathon happy :3

Day 6: Palo Alto (2013)

I can’t say. I liked this movie. Not a lot, but it was still enjoyable for me.

I thought Emma will play the main character, which she has and hasn’t in a way. She was one of the main characters with Teddy i think. Yeah, okay, I’m almost sure. I know I was supposed to watch a critically aclaimed movie, and this isn’t one, but, eh, it has 69% on RottenTomatoes, so not so bad. Also! It’s stars James Franco. I liked the acting. I’m still dissapointed, that Emma stil does not have much to play. I’m not sure if she’s just okay at acting, or she takes parts of empty blonds. I still love her, it’s just... it’s getting harder and harder to watch her as not charismatic characters. Anyway, I liked the acting, even much. I’m not sure if the actor playing Teddy (Val Kilmer’s son! and Val KIlmer played April’s father xD) was playing him self, but I’m happy with what I got. The same goes for Fred, the coach and April’s father. Finally after these few dissapointing movies, I got something, that dind’t speak to me much, but at least I liked the characters and had fun watching them get better, or worse, or not changing, or having a quick cameo. 

The story was... okay. But connected to this characters, I don’t really have much to complain. The tempo was a bit slow with April’s story, and a bit to fast with Teddy’s. Like The Art of Getting By (2011), this movie crossed a bit the thin line, of being too pretencional. But this doesn’t botter me that much.

Favorite quote:

April: I'm not depressed, why do you always think I'm depressed? I'm just tired.

Day 7: It’s kind of a funny story (2010)

I absolutely loved this movie! It took me from teh beginning with that scene on the bridge. Totally my kind of humor. The main character was easy to equate with, at least for me, like, being a bit assholish on the beginnig, and then turning in a fully good and  empathetic person. The perfect character arc for a feel good movie, like this one. It hit me by suprise, how good it was. The movie has average ratings and is rotten on RottenTomatoes. I know why, but the things, that for others were a flaw, for me was a good quality. I dind’t read the reviews, but I saw flaws in the movie, and in the story. I know, I know, it’s a basic story, a bit (maybe a lot) predictable even. But I turned my brain off for one and a half hour and had a lot of fun. The charachters where, no, seamed 3-dimensional. Everyone, at some point even. I totally believed, these are not actors, these are people. Especially the main trio, obviosly. I dind’t know  Zach Galifianakis can play something more then a stupid fat guy, by playing a not so stupid fat guy with problems. And Emma, still not what I’m expecting from her, but a lot better, then the other movies I guess (with exceptions of course). Even Craigs parents felt so real, and his friend and his love interest in the beginning. The main advantage of the movie is, that, as I pointed out earlier, it makes you feel better. It made me thing, that there is something more for me, that I don’t have to be this sad, fat guy, working and sitting by the computer all the time. Also the acting, OMC. It was great. How thought, to bring Viola Davis to this project? Great idea, even for these few minutes. But, yeah, I also pointed that out already. And, I liked, how the movie was directed. The scene, where they sang together, fabulous.

So what’s the flaws? It was predictable, if you just try to think a little. I dind’t realise that, till after the movie. Also, some characters, from being fine written, turned to flat characters, to drive the plot. Yes, I mean Nia, that was so unnecessary. It was just so Noelle would get mad at Craig. And will winning Noelle back be hard? It’s gonna be (quoting the screenwriter from Pitch Meeting) “super easy! Barely an inconvenience.” Which is dissapointing. 

Favorite quote:

Craig: Do you like music?

Noelle: Do you like breathing?

Bonus: A few words about Channel and whole Scream Qeens (2015-2016)

This series also took me by suprise, a bit. I loved Ariana Grande at that time, but since she quitted acting, and got mostly into music, I started to watch this show. And, as dissapointing as it was at that time, Chanel #2 was killed in the first episode. But since this was a slasher, and I do love those, I stayed. Who am I kidding. It dind’t stay because of the killing, but because of the story, characters and humor mostly. Jamie Lee Curtis is a wonderful actress and watching her going “against” bitchy Emma Roberts, was like watching a unicorn... I don’t a good compare, but you get it. It was extreamly entertaining. The world building, so caricature, it was so fun. Chanel killing a random lady? Yes please. These show was filled with mains driving the series with just themselfs and the sideones adding to it a lot. Even if they get killed eventually. Obviously the first season was way better, then the second. But the second was even more bizzare, which recompensed a bit the flaws of it. Do I like the decisions, who got the be the killers in both seasons? Yes, of course! For example, the chemistry between Dr. Cassidy and Chanel #3 was great in the second half of the second season. Just awesome.

Oh, yeah, a few more about Chanel. Wonderful, stole every scene she was in. Not a character, you could lift a show on, but the definietly good to be one of the mains.

Favorite quote:

Chanel: Good morning, sluts.

Chanel #2, #3 and #5: Good morning, Chanel

Like I could pick any other, than this.

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So what do I think about Emma in the end?

She’s not a great, but a good actress, she could lift the whole movie, if she get’s a good character to play, like in Wild Child (2008), which was not much, but she was still a teenager then, and made it. 

Do I see her in drama roles?

Yes, actually. I love her, when she plays bitchy, charismatic, or even psycho characters, because she’s great at it, but I still want to see her other side. A hard part to play, in which she can shock everyone in how good of an actress she is. She didn’t have the chance yet.

I hope she gets more lucky and popular at some time. She’s still under 30 (28 years old), so she has most of her live before her, and already an impressive filmography. I wish her all the best.