#which i think people are scared to do

[ddlcbrainrot]

kinda wish more fics portrayed monika as a bad person

#ddlc #ddlc monika #idk if this makes sense #basically just showcasing Monika's bad traits too #which i think people are scared to do #bc some people would end up thinking the writer is in the “Monika should die in a fire” part of the fandom #so i kind of get it #but also like Monika is a flawed character at her core #and as much as i love the side stories the main reason i fell in love with this game is bc of how morally dubious Monika is #not saying i want Monika in fics to be some kind of irredeemable monster #but like... let her be a little manipulative #a little selfish #yk as a treat #idk idk #just something ive been thinking about

[haunted-xander]

What's there to be afraid of?

#i think her 3 years w thancred were a special kind of hell but i think thry had good moments too #i mean ryne very clearly admires and looks up to him even when hes fucking everything up #and shes never shown being scared of him #at most shes nervous or anxious #the closest to her being scared of him weve seen is right after we save her from capture #and shes nervous when she admits she ran off bc she didnt think thancred would let her go #but thats just being worried about ur parents scolding u which everything has felt at some point #that said i do think she recognises that thancred COULD be scary #and probably is to some people #but shes never seen him that way #tho tbf her point of reference is ran'jit who is far more intimidating than thancred could ever be #so really i think her scale of whats scary or not is kinda skewed #ryne waters #thancred waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

[solarpunkani]

"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

#out of queue #ani rambles #punks and posers #i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like #idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs' #or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like #maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague #so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into? #there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else #granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis #outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about #but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off #thats how movements die imo #i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing #i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets #which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows. #might delete later

[uncanny-tranny]

I just heard this ad that says therapy is just "learning how to love yourself," and quite honestly, I disagree with that sentiment. I think it puts uneeded pressure on people to "love themselves."

I don't think you need to love yourself to benefit from therapy, and therapy shouldn't just be "learning to love yourself." It certainly is beneficial for some people to learn skills that we call self-love, like setting boundaries, hygiene that works for you, eating full and balanced meals that you enjoy, for instance, but that doesn't need to include this air of being in love with yourself.

I think therapy is about learning how to live with yourself. You don't have to love your flatmates (for example), but you often respect them as people. So, you'll clean up after yourself, and you'll communicate with them, and you'll even make small talk with them. That's kind of how I see therapy. You don't have to love yourself, but you often need to learn how to respect yourself, and I think those are slightly different things.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #i will be open and say i often don't love myself. but i'm learning how to respect myself so that maybe one day i WILL love myself... #...and i find the whole 'LOVE YOURSELF' to be daunting and scary because it's not where i'm at... #...and i worry that the 'LOVE YOURSELF NOW' attitude will only push people away from therapy because they're scared of that... #...it's scary to love yourself when you never learned how to do that. it's foreign and unknown... #...so you take babysteps. and if you never learn to love yourself that's fine #this isn't me saying that loving yourself is bad either. just that i don't agree that that is the WHOLE of therapy... #...and i don't think it's responsible to boil therapy down to just that #(it doesn't help that it was a betterhelp ad. which. yikes 😬. but i see that attitude elsewhere sometimes too)

[fumifooms]

I’ve been seeing a lot of people shit on straight couples in shipping and in general as a "joke" lately, particularly in the Dungeon Meshi fandom. Friendly reminder that, besides the evil straights, when you mock or put down straight couples for being straight/"not queer enough", you also make bi and pan people, and trans and ace people who experience hetero attraction feel unwelcome and lesser. Negativity hurts, love is love, happy valentine’s!

#It’s not even unironic or subtle anymore. Very uncomfy ngl #I know which side of the ace discourse y’all would be on and I do not like it #A lot of people reading will have the gut instinct of “shut up straight 🙄” and if that’s you I want you to pause and think about that #Yes I understand the historical sociopolitical reasons. Can we not rise above and not be exclusionists #When did queerness start being a performance needed to belong here. When did it become synonym for morality of a ship. #Not even gonna put this post in general tags bc I’m scared but if I get backlash my point will only be made tbh. What about this is wrong #Will being an ace heteroflexible-demiromantic queer woman save me some heat? Doubtful and that’s the sad thing isn’t it #Never straight enough for the straights never gay enough for the gays. #Bi marcille and ace laios laimar <3 Not that they care tho #I love being a multishipper. Laicion and farcille and marchil and laimar and cittadol and labru having a tea party in my mind and thriving #Is it not enough to be happy and uplifting

[joshuaalbert]

kai winn’s relationship to religion really is just so interesting to me in a way I come back to sometimes like. she’s the leader of a faith and her gods will not speak to her. they will speak to other people in front of her and they will make a human from a society that did not interfere with her planet’s suffering their emissary but they will not speak to her. and I’m sure she can do a lot to justify it in her mind because she would have to be able to in order to keep any faith, and she has to keep her faith because she says herself that’s all she had in the camps, but that’s still a terrible thing to experience. and I’m sure a lot of people would argue that it’s not real faith, it’s ambition, but I think it’s some of both, and most importantly I think on the most immediate levels she believes it’s faith.

and like I think she and a lot of other bajorans have a reason to have a really complicated relationship with the prophets because the more demonstrably real and powerful they are, the more they’re willing to interfere in things like the dominion war, the harder it would be for a lot of people to justify to themselves why the prophets didn’t do anything to stop the genocide of their chosen people. I think the pah wraiths plotline ultimately fell kind of flat when it kind of boiled down to “dukat’s weird cult” and it was also a victim of the season’s pacing issues, but it has some interesting implications regarding this divide in the bajoran people, particularly when their religious leader’s faith is being so seriously called into question.

#on one hand like ‘if there is a loving god why do bad things happen’ is of course an incredibly common religious struggle #but I do have to imagine it’s a little different when your gods are stopping an entire fleet but didn’t save your people yknow #viable religious schism at least #this got off topic I just think kai winn and her storyline are a lot more interesting than people give credit for #opinions around her often seem to start and end with ‘she’s a bitch’ which is. hm. #I’m not like. a winn apologist for things she actually did I just wish people would engage on a more interesting level lmao #san rant #sorry I stopped like actually tagging my posts I got scared #but i saw another post i didn't like so i am trying to make. a better post.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i feel like im obligated to remind everyone that the time we see the characters spend with saiki on screen isnt the ONLY time they spend together,,, i just see a lot of people take their screen time very literally and assume that this is the case despite it being heavily implied that it isnt, and im not entirely sure why but i can guess that it may be because of the assumption that saiki genuinely hates his friends (i do also see people doing this with specific characters they dont like or that they have a specific agenda for, which i think is them being like "i feel a certain way about them, therefore saiki the narrator who gave me all the information that made me feel this way about them must not like them" which i dont really have a problem with (its just an hc) until they start arguing with people that their hc is the only right answer and saiki canonically hates that person or is only around them when forced to be LOL)

yumehara and teruhashi immediately recognize "kurikos" eating manner as saikis despite us never seeing him eat in front of them, kaido + nendo + kuboyasu bribe saiki for his homework with coffee jelly because they know hes obsessed with it despite us seeing no on-screen reason for them to know that (we do see a bit later that he walks home with them every day and he stares at coffee jelly every single time though LOL), and mera talks about saiki spending a lot of money at her workplace despite us only seeing her and him there at the same time once before..

saiki does not succeed at avoiding them, and in fact is probably not even trying to most of the time LMAO he loves those idiots. dearly.

the people i see the least true implications of him spending off-screen time with are actually, weirdly enough, the other two psychics. this doesnt necessarily mean to take that at face value and assume he DOESNT spend as much time with them, but its interesting i feel... please correct me if im wrong though cuz i would love to see more examples of these kinds of implications, for any characters actually!

#the thing about people doing this with specifically characters they dislike or just have a certain agenda they like to preach for them- #can come off as very silly at times although i dont rlly see too much of an issue with it cuz like i said its just personal interpretation #its just that sometimes its. very obvious. #people do it with nendo which.. is just funny cuz saiki canonically walks home with him and kaido every single day #and probably MOST of those days they go out to eat together #that little trio + sometimes kuboyasu spend SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER #anywayyy i honestly do think kusuo makes more of a real attempt to avoid the other psychics #not because he doesnt like them but because. they know him. yk what i mean ? #theyre the only people he can go to for help when he needs it and he TRUSTS them but at the same time or even BECAUSE of that- it scares hi #m #thats a wholeee other conversation though im just providing exposition #and i could be wrong #just a thought just a comment just a theory just a headcanon just a concern #someone tell me !! give me examples if u have any pleaseee !! #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[harryjpotter-shitpost]

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate people who try to justify Petunia Dursley or say she was a good or “misguided” person.

#🤢 #she was a horrible abuser #nothing is good about an abuser #I think people got the wrong idea that to abuse someone you need to be physical with them #which is why a lot of these people are defending her #or saying that the word abuser is too harsh to use against her #but the word abuser is literally a word that describes a person who uses the power they have over a person to belittle them #and use it against them #in whatever form #because abuse doesn’t mean physical harassment only #mind you she did that as well #but let me not get into that #ugh I hate this so much #”oh petunia would’ve been nice if she had divorced Vernon” #“Vernon was a bad influence on her” #“she was manipulated by Vernon” #“she actually liked Harry deep down but was scared of Vernon’s reaction” #DO YALL HEAR YOURSELF???? #LITERALLY READ THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE FIRST BOOK #ITS THERE #VERNON IS THE ONE WHO IS SCARED TO MENTION HARRY OR LILY IN FRONT OF PETUNIA #NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND #mind you I hate that bastard just as much #but I’m just saying #if you’re gonna hate someone hate petunia first #I can’t stand her nor the people who defend her #harry james potter #petunia dursley #harry potter series #harry potter

[cerise-on-top]

hello! Can I request the ask aboyt a s/o who likes muscular people, except with Rudy and Ale? My bois need some appreciation! thank you!

Hello! Of course you can! I'm glad people like those two as well, they're lovely characters and deserve all the love in the world! Thank you for the request, I hope this suffices!

Alejandro and Rodolfo with an S/O who Likes Muscular People

Alejandro: It’s actually not as uncommon for people to be into Alejandro and his muscles as one might think. He’s had plenty of people, men and women, come up to him to tell him how attractive and strong he is. He’s always loved that sort of attention, even if it was just superficial and nothing else. So, when he sees you staring at him as he brushes his teeth, something sparks in him. He’s not that young anymore either, but he’s still got it, he knows that, and to know that you think the same makes his heart soar. The moment he notices he’ll come up to you and ask you with a grin why you’re staring at him as much as you do. It’s then that you can either fess up or try to hide your infatuation with his muscles further. Former will have him show off just how strong he is, preferably by picking you up and holding you over his head if he can, all the while giving you kisses and making sure you feel loved. If you decide to not tell him the truth he’ll make it a game. How long can you actually last and not stare at him as he shows off by doing pull ups? He’ll make sure to wear tighter clothing that shows off how muscular he is, he’ll try to make you feel small by carrying things that you likely wouldn’t be able to hold yourself. Anything to make you flustered. It’s just a matter of time until you finally tell him, but until then he’ll have his fun. Once you do confess he’ll take your face in his hands, give you a kiss, and tell you he knew all along.

Rodolfo: While he may not be insecure, it would take him quite some time to understand you’re looking at his muscles. He’s not nearly as muscular as, say, Alejandro, so he is a bit surprised. It flusters him a bit, knowing you’re staring at his arms, legs and chest whenever you can. He’s in the military, so naturally he has to have some muscles, but they’re not as grand as those of other people. So in his case, you can probably reassure him that he, despite not being an Arnold Schwarzenegger, still looks so very good. It would make him a bit sheepish, but you’d get to see him smile. He won’t be as cocky about being muscular as other people, that’s just how his body looks, but since you really like it, he might show off here and there. He’ll let you touch his muscles if you want to and carry the heavy things if you need something to be moved, but he won’t really brag about it too much. He’d much rather show off by holding you close, making you feel safe and sound in his arms. Whether that be through giving you a hug or cuddling you. He loves holding you in general, so if being squeezed lightly by his bicep makes your heart sing, then so be it. While he won’t always try to pick you up, he will sometimes ask you if you want to be carried to bed and cuddled. It’s his way of showing that he loves you so dearly since he normally doesn’t initiate physical contact. You loving his muscles shows him just how much you adore him, not only for his personality, but you also believe every part of him is worth loving and that he’s strong enough to protect. He’s a fan of you liking his muscles, but more so due to romantic reasons.

#cod #cod x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #I'm always scared my portrayal of Rudy would annoy people so it makes me really happy that people request him still #it's kind of reassuring. I think I might not be doing too badly if people are doing so and that makes me glad #besides I get to study his character further since it's not too often I get to write for him anyway #though I think there has been an influx of requests for him as of late which is good #he's a real sweetheart and I did like him in mw2

[smile-files]

as a jew, seeing what all of these israeli leaders have said is sickening. as a jew, anti-palestinian rhetoric is sickening. as a jew, zionism is sickening.

how dare my people -- a people who've been massacred, ethnically cleansed, dehumanized, forcibly removed, and discriminated on religious grounds for their entire existence -- do the same to another people? how dare we turn our backs on them, when they suffer like we have?

i understand that so much of us have been fed zionist propaganda our entire lives; the same happened to me. i understand the desire for a homeland where we don't have to fear antisemitism at every turn; i want that too. but it doesn't take much thought to understand that a homeland for us, which actively oppresses and kills another people, is antithetical to what we want.

if you, as a member of an oppressed group, believe that your freedom and safety can only exist when you oppress another group, you are acting no better than the people who oppressed you. such a belief is horrible, and cynical, and wrong.

as a jew, i want jewish people to be happy and safe and connected to our heritage; as a jew, i also want other peoples to be happy and safe and connected to their heritage.

don't call the palestinians "amalek". you are turning us into amalek.

doesn't the torah tell us to have empathy for those beaten down by the world? doesn't the torah tell us to make the world a better place? doesn't the torah tell us to free people of their shackles and help them escape oppression?

i have so many israeli aunts and uncles and cousins; i fear for their safety. of course, my parents do as well. i'm worried that this fear, in addition to anything they were led to believe earlier in life, is placing my parents even deeper in the zionist camp. but it doesn't have to be this way! my relatives' safety does not rely on the continued oppression of gaza!

it is easy to be uninformed, to be swayed by propaganda, to blindly hope that israel was founded in good faith -- but we can't lie to ourselves. a world steeped in senseless hatred (which we are now promoting!) could never be a home for us. none of us are free, liberated, equal, until all of us are.

as a jew, to other jews, i implore that we stand with our palestinian siblings. i want us all to be happy and safe. i want us all to live in harmony -- in the holy land and around the world. that is what we all deserve. <3

#melonposting #i apologize for not reblogging/posting much stuff about israel/palestine until now #i kept having this fear that my mom would see and get angry at me #but what do i care? i want both jews and palestinians to be happy #oh yeah. and i keep hearing the argument that 'jews living in the holy land before israel was established weren't treated well' #i don't know if that's true or not... but does it matter? #like of course antisemitism is horrible. but that can be dealt with #forcibly taking over their land is not the answer #like if israel were never a thing and people saw that jews living in the holy land didn't have rights #they'd do something about it! #and if you think they wouldn't (which is a fair thing to think)... well then you should do something about it!!! #don't solve oppression with more oppression you idiot!!!!! #no positive change will ever come to a world which doesn't think positive change can happen #and oppression is not positive change. #and it also pains me how so much of zionist rhetoric feeds off of post-holocaust fear #and i get it. i get that in the mid 20th century we were so scared and angry after the holocaust #and that we desperately wanted a safe haven #i will never not empathize with that fear and rage because it's justified #but that is no excuse to oppress another group of people. there are other ways to be safe and happy i promise #just stop hurting each other... please... you're not helping anyone... #palestine #israel #zionism

[smolandweirdwriter]

FUCK

aelwyn abernant i??? don't hate you???

#I used to see stuff of aelwyn before watching The Scene #(which I just finished in ep 9 of sophomore year) #and be so confused bc I was like “this bitch???” #& is she a bitch maybe but the “expectation without love” thing got my little wheels turning & now I just cant stop thinking about it #about how maybe her parents never loved her either #about how maybe because she was told she could do no wrong that then she COULD do no wrong #about how #almost... scared she sounds to talk ill of their parents despite knowing what they have been implicated in doing to her #(or at least presumably so #I havent finished the ep yet) #so for her to be AFRAID of upsetting the very people who PUT her in here #who have twisted her mind so badly she cannot remember anything #for close to a year... #GOD i want to fucking strangle angwyn abernant #to put a child so high atop a pedestal that the fall would kill her #and another so far into the background she hardly exists #FUCK #their parents deserve worse than death #adaine abernant #adaine fantasy high #adaine fanart #aelwyn abernant #aelwyn fantasy high #adaine and aelwyn #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhsy #dimension 20 #d20 fantasy high

[orchideae]

A little unpopular opinion on something I've seen happen more commonly throughout November/December and wanted to address quickly for my own blog: Please never hesitate to reblog anything from me. You see me reblogging a sentence starter list that you like? Go for it and reblog it from me directly without any pressure on you whatsoever to send anything into me before doing so. You like a GIF-set or musing that I reblogged? Nab it from me, it'll brighten my day to see that we share an interest in something. I like to see interaction between me and anyone who follows me. I like to see that little activity notification light up.

Honestly, it simply reminds me that we're all part of a community, and more specifically, a fandom that consists of characters and nations that we all came to love and then share that amongst ourselves. And honestly, seeing a reblog happen shortly after me but it's from the source, creates (in my opinion) an odd sense of chosen disconnect between people that can feel awkward, it's as if we're walking on eggshells as to not rub each other the wrong way. But what's wrong about going 'Hey, I see what you reblogged, I like it too!', it even gives you potential common ground to start a conversation. We're a community, and I don't know about you, but I like seeing people interact with each other beyond merely threads and notes. It's the little things that matter, after all.

#[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. #[ i feel like this whole 'reblog karma' rule has scared people so much into stopping with behavior that... ] #[ i think was healthy. interaction; no matter how small; makes it so much easier and comfortable for people to... ] #[ interact because you almost become 'familiar faces' through these tiny little asks. ] #[ the amount of times i've entered dms kindly/respectfully after someone's reblogged something from me-- ] #[ and the person and i proceeded to just gush about the reblogged fanart in question. or something similar. ] #[ which then makes any further ooc interaction so much easier and nicer-- the initial anxiety people may face is lessened. ] #[ because you've already found common ground. ] #[ like i don't mean to force anyone to reblog from me-- but it's like it's so obvious so often when people... ] #[ see something from you but then reblog it from the source. i dunno if it's just me but it feels odd. ] #[ it feels as if someone thinks reblogging from me would step on my toes or rub me the wrong way and i don't see?? ] #[ why that's a thing? it's so silly. reblog from me; feel welcome to do so. we all love this fandom. we all love our characters. ] #[ and each others' characters. it's why we interact; right? ] #[ any way. hi-- yes. i just mean never feel odd to reblog from me. if anything i encourage it. ] #[ i'll smile and nod at you in my activity; and you'll also pique my interest to be like 'hey! good taste 💙 ] #[ any way; i hope people are having a good weekend! ]

[orcelito]

Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍

#speculation nation #i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭 #but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn... #see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts #but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing' #so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool #then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling #and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥 #but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most. #the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling. #anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot #the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350 #so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running #which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke. #i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment. #it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke. #and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting. #calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling. #it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now. #i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol #the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters. #so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most... #maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine... #😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard

[mainapnifavouritehoon]

hi guys i-

#Hey so i wanted to talk about this really bad this has been bothering me for quite some time #i have been busy a lot these days and i dont get time at all to do anything but i can see myself wasting my time just scrolling #I have school and then coaching and then ofc i have to study on my own for which i barely take out time as im highly careless #My last 2 exams went absolute shit and that fucking scares me because i'll be having my JEE soon #Mummy has been telling me to stay away from my phone and ik she trusts me but she but she deserves a daughter that studies ig? #And now i kind of consider that as an option because this phone is very very distracting #I have been thinking about deactivating but i realized it would mean i would lose all my precious posts and interactions #So i wont be deleting this blog as i am too attached (i will be coming back istg) #I will be taking a break and ig thats what yall call a hiatus #I will be giving away my phone to my parents (trust me i have to) #Ik this will be hard for me to just leave all of a sudden so i'll slowly start vanishing if that makes sense? #This message also doesnt mean that i will be shutting down my phone rn at this moment and that this is goodbye #This is just to prepare the people that i love and who love me that i will be highly inactive and not come online for maybe months #This is not an impulsive decisions i have really thought through this #Also just to tell you again MAIN ABHI GAYAB NAHI HONE WAALI BUT THODE TIME MEIN I WILL GO ON A BREAK THIS IS JUST A PRE HIATUS MESSAGE #Also i hope you guys will still love me and remember me once i come back #Because coming months are going to be hard for me #I hope you understand and ily guys okay? #(Oh god why am i so dramatic about everything) xoxo

[thermodynamic-comedian]

listen. i do not ever want anything bad to happen to lena kelley. however i do want her to, at some point, be in so much distress that someone has to comfort her. do you understand.

#and i want that someone to be alice. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. #if i speak... #ive been calling them alina #in my head #which i think is cute #what if our names combined into a real first name...and we were both girls.... #anyways yeah. #save me alina hurt/comfort...alina hurt/comfort save me.... #i want lena to collapse into alice's arms and cry about how she's been so tired. so scared. so alone. for all these years. #about how many people she's watched die right in front of her eyes. people she cared about. #about how she knows alice and sam and gwen and colin and celia aren't save either. #and that she's so scared she'll one day have to watch them die too #i want alice to try to crack jokes. to try to lighten the mood a little. #but eventually she gives up and just. holds lena close to her. as close as possible. #and she promises that she'll be here. always. #that others might leave but she'll stay. #a comforting constant. #AUGH IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM #tmagp #the magnus protocol #lena kelley

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all #which. again. is false #but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept #and like. It’s FINE #but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony #and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom #unable to move or function #I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing #but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully #like an unseen wound #and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people #is one of the most painful things #just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them #and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning #and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb! #tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams #or impetus or forward motion or anything #because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy #so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE #actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it #when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions #that’s the problem #anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.