#which is MUCH better than with the adderall

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

roger

that fall, annie's new neighbors nick and nina moved in across the hall. "nick and nina," annie would always say when she saw them. "love saying those names together."

they were a couple just slightly older than annie -- probably 30, 31. nina worked in publishing and nick was an architect or something.

annie was a good neighbor--she was quiet--from her days living with robbie she'd adopted the habit of listening to everything from music to podcasts to TV in headphones. her apartment was clean because despite her overall efforts to clean up her drug use, she was not ready to let go of her adderall-fueled weekend cleanup sessions.

because their apartments were the only two on the floor and were shaped as mirror images of each other, their bedrooms shared a wall. this of course meant that annie could hear nick and nina fuck, which was pretty much an every-evening thing. sometimes it was very short--15 minutes or so with very clear climaxes. annie thought of mark and his wife and their focus on making each other cum and getting it over with. but other nights it was long and giggly and rough. one evening, after hearing them clearly wrap up, annie turned on her vibrator.

annie rarely used sex toys--she was truthfully, much better at getting off with her hands. her clit could be so sensitive that she often needed to wear panties to cum with a vibrator. today she put her bedsheet between her wand and her cunt. she sensed a quietness in nick and nina's bedroom. they were listening to her. she had a vocal orgasm - nothing too excessive, but audible. and then she kept going. she heard nina make an impressed noise.

leaving for work the next morning, annie ran into nina in the hallway. nina immediately blushed. annie hovered around deciding between playing dumb and being all-knowing and decided on the latter. "was i too loud last night?" annie asked. "i realized after that you could probably hear me since i can always hear you."

"oh god," nina said, turning a brighter shade of red.

"don't be shy," annie said, putting a hand on nina's shoulder. she felt nina relax into her touch. "that's being neighbors, right?"

"i can tell you're a therapist," nina said. "most people don't say this stuff out loud."

"maybe so," annie said. "well i think it is great that you two have such an active sex life."

nina whispered a shy "thank you" and practically ran from annie down the street.

on the way home, annie ran into nick, who had clearly talked to nina during the day. "hear anything good lately?" he asked her. he gestured at the headphones around her neck, and then grinned.

"sorry if i freaked out your wife," annie said. "but i do really enjoy knowing you two get after it so often."

"every night," he said. "my other friends don't believe me."

"well, i can testify," annie said.

"they've known nina since we were in high school and i think they can't really picture her as sexual."

"do you want them to picture your wife as sexual?" annie said wryly. "is that fun for you?"

he laughed. "kinda, yeah. i mean, everybody likes to brag about their hot partner."

"women like being bragged about," annie said. "even when they protest."

that evening, annie went on a second, long-delayed date with roger. they had drinks, then dinner, and then annie invited roger back to her apartment. she liked watching him reconcile in real time that he was going to fuck his therapist. it put a real pep in his step.

as roger railed annie from behind on her bed, she wondered how hard her headboard was rattling nick and nina's bedroom. the truth was, roger had a modestly-sized cock that he wasn't all that familiar with. the sex was rough and quick, and annie did not have an orgasm, and roger did not offer to get her off after cumming on her back. she politely got him out of her apartment, took a shower, masturbated, and fell asleep naked.

this time, she saw nick in the hallway in the morning. "high five," he said. "we both got laid last night."

"mine was very disappointing," annie said. "small dick, no skill, didn't get me off. you?"

"my wife rode my cock with her tight little shaved pussy while i put my fingers up her ass," he said. "i can't complain."

"nina is shaved, huh?" annie said. "i wouldn't have guessed that."

"she is sometimes," he said. "i like the variety."

"me too," annie said. "i mean, i like variety. and i am also sometimes shaved."

"you have really big tits so guys probably don't even notice your pubes, right?" he said.

"yeah that is not inaccurate," she said.

on the way home, it was nina in the elevator this time. surprisingly, she initiated the conversation.

"older man," she said, looking away. "is that a thing for you?"

"definitely," annie said. "daddy's girl."

nina laughed. "i had a...phase."

"an older man phase?"

"yeah. when i was 16."

"hot," annie said. "how old was he?"

"52," nina said. "my parents were so mad."

"i bet," annie laughed. "was he your first?"

"no," nina said. "i screwed a couple of boys my age first. just to make sure i wasn't missing anything."

"and your older man won out?"

"he had the biggest cock i have ever seen. still. i mean, nick has a very nice one. but this guy was gigantic. i don't think i could have taken him without an elastic teenage pussy."

they were in annie's apartment now. without even communicating it, annie had led her in and poured her a glass of wine.

"tell me more."

"i used to call it climbing mount rushmore, because you know, he was very gray, and it would take like a half hour to get him hard and then like 90 minutes to get him off.

"90 minutes? straight?"

"90 minutes of sucking and fucking. we dated for like five months and by the end of it i was in such good shape. i had amazing abs. he was so perfectly shaped to nail my g spot that i would cum, vaginally, like 6 or 7 times."

"amazing."

"i haven't been able to cum more than twice in a row ever since."

"so why did you break up?"

"his kids came to visit and his daughter found my panties in his bathroom," she said. "and you know, they were like, whatever, something very slutty from victoria's secret at the mall that only a teenager would buy. and his daughter forbid me from seeing him again."

"i hope she was willing to suck his dick for 90 minutes then," annie said.

nina laughed so suddenly she sprayed wine out of her nose. they both laughed. "no joke," nina said. "i called her and said something like that. she was like 22, which is so funny because at the time she seemed like an adult. but i was like, 'well who is gonna fuck your dad now, you?' and she said, 'maybe.' which made me feel like I lost the argument."

"kinda hot," annie said.

nina looked warily at her. "yeah i know," she said. "but that's a very therapist thing to think about. how all women want to kill their moms and take their place?"

"yeah i think that's universal," annie said. "although i do finally get along with my mom now."

"maybe there's hope for me," nina said. "i fucking hate my mother."

[clanoffelidae]

Fuck you google and your ‘best low calorie recipes :)’ SHOW ME THE OTHER ONES I WANT HIGH CALORIE CONTENT THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT I DON’T WANT TO LOSE M O R E WEIGHT

#was hovering around 160-ish for a while then when i started adderall i plummeted to 150 in 2 weeks #that was first 2 weeks of may #then early september i was around 140-ish so another 10 or so pounds in three and a half months #which is MUCH better than with the adderall #but. still. :/ #im not in an unhealthy weight range by any means #i just. dont like the fact that im continuing to lose weight unintentionally #and idk what i am now bc i dont own a scale (finally considering getting one tho) #i only know these weights from when i go home to see my parents and use theirs #its getting colder soon so im gonna try making hot chocolate more!!! #since i made some for my works bake sale and accidentally bought way too much stuff so i have the ingredients lol #and the milk’s gotta be used 😂 #also bought some heavy cream to try adding some of that and that should cover me for the next 2 weeks or so i hope!!! #ensure that no more pounds go slipping off without my consent lol #if anything id love it if it gave me a few back #bc i dont intend to RELY on that lol #but since i have to use up the milk i bought and thats one of the faster ways i have to eat thru it might as well 😂 #it would give me more buffer room while i try to figure out how to alter my diet #bc ive already lost 20 lbs and losing another 20 would uh. not be so good. #25 more would put be underweight according to BMI but we all know that’s BS #but still semi helpful as like a general estimate of ‘maybe u should gain some weight’ me thinks lol #so uh yeah if u could show me the HIGHER calorie recipes google thatd be LOVELY #like i started this shit slightly ‘overweight’ according to bmi #the last thing i want is to get my ass down to ‘underweight’ #like as horrid as bmi is i still cant say that unintentionally losing enough weight to go from ‘overweight’ to ‘underweight’ is like #a good thing #like ive gone half the distance already which is. more than a little terrifying. #ive unintentionally gained weight before and so i can now say with 100% assurance #unintentionally LOSING weight is like 10x scarier #-3/10 absolutely would not recommend

[stephaniedola]

so i (mostly) cut caffeine in an attempt to reduce my muscle spasms and you wont believe it but they're pretty much gone

#im also on muscle relaxers which is surely contributing but like #if i cheat even a little with the caffeine i start to get them again #ive known for quite some time now that caffeine makes me feel worse than better #but im genuinely like #ok but how am i gonna do my homework this semester..? #caffeine is my adderall #idk i giuess my current plan is to keep not drinking it much until i really need it #and then use that boost to my advantage (even if i suffer as a result) #i shouldnt have even been drinking caffeine at all with my blood pressure this high yet it took me a year and a half to bother stopping #my BP was also lower than it has been in a while at my last doc appointment after i quit #hmm i wonder why that might be-- #thots et al

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

Can’t say I’m a big fan of flip flopping between catastrophization and optimism based on whether or not something Bad has happened to me but….. mm

#tags cw: suicide ideation #i think the former started happening because of well… -gestures toward the state of the world- #like i do not think I suddenly developed some kind of specific disorder (… maybe depression if anything ?) #but how the fuck am I supposed to weave through life normally when aware of the fact that living in this country is precarious for many - #- reasons… this planet is carelessly havinf co2 dumped into the atmosphere when we know its going to slowly kill us #many more reasons its difficult to get into #i guess thats depression . Silly (im a psych student i should know this) #or maybe im having extremely poor emotional regulation stemming from continued added stressors throughout my life #i heard that can be a facet of adhd (fun…) which.. i guess so lol #it used to be so much more worse until I got adderall and any time I made a mistake that stressed me out it was like. instant Ideation #adderall used to make me feel elevated which was nice but now i just feel normal (which is better) #*(which is better than it was before)

[ikyw-t]

this is a moodboard for how my brain has been feeling the past couple weeks. yes i spent like 10 minutes organizing these pictures if that tells u anything about how im feeling

#not that anyone asked but it's bc my adderall rx changed a month ago from extended release to short release #bc the extended release was making me feel super anxious in the afternoon when it would start to wear off #which is obviously counterproductive and i am already anxiety-inclined if that's even a phrase #so ive been on the short release version of adderall for the last month and overall it was going a lot better #the anxiety in the afternoon pretty much disappeared which was nice #the past like three weeks tho ive been dealing with being unable to stop picking at my skin and cuticles too #which is something ive struggled with since middle school in various degrees and tho it was getting better in the past couple years #ive never struggled with it LESS than i have since starting adderall in like march. and my god. what a joy and relief that was #so now that it's started happening again it's honestly pretty upsetting bc it's kinda physically painful and also just rly embarrassing #like i dont even have that bad acne probably but being unable to stop picking at it makes it like ten times worse #like i haven't had acne on my back in like three years since i finished taking accutane #and in the past three weeks i have but it's rly only bc i can't stop scratching at it and so there's gonna be scarring too #it's just very embarrassing and also disappointing nd disheartening since i was finally able to NOT have to deal with this for a few months #it's appalling and upsetting to realize that this was just my life for like a decade before i got treatment for adhd #and once i did it a lot of my impulsive and unconscious skin picking pretty much disappeared. #like damn bro the amount of times my mom and everyone in my family told me how nice my skin would be if i could just leave it alone. yeah. #anyway. im gonna talk to the doctor about this next month when i get my refill obviously bc i am not having a good time #even tho this was working rly great for the first three weeks. like whyyyy can't medicine just work. whyyy #anywayyyy if u read all this no u didnt bc it's embarrassing for me lol #i just felt the need to talk about it cause it's been upsetting me today

[britneyshakespeare]

three thoughts

1) drawing myself in the mirror, i expected, would be very hard w my body image issues. they are deeply ingrained from childhood and though i cope w them better nowadays they are not gone, and they have taken me to very dark places before. i’ve mainly coped w it by not looking at myself for too long since fixating on my appearance can make me spiral. but once i sat down and actually started drawing, it wasn’t that bad at all. i didn’t have the fear of whether or not my arms were too big or my belly too folded since i was only thinking about how my shoulder was aligned with my collar bones and at what angle those are in relation to my elbow, etc. looking at the plain contours of my body in relation to each other, objectively, that wasn’t so bad at all since i wasn’t worried about whether the product was “beautiful” as much as if it was accurate. and, i wasn’t looking at my body as a whole until i finished the drawing. i was looking at parts of them, though not the parts i normally fixate negatively on. i was just trying to navigate the landmarks. it was kind of healing to realize i could do this. normally when i feel detached from my body, it makes me resentful of the fact that i live in one. today i was not resenting my body but just looking at it for what it was. a thing that exists. like anything else.

2) wow, i mean. i always know i’m flat-chested. but i’m flat-chested.

3) my back hurts.

#body image cw #tales from diana #the flat-chested thing is not an insecurity of mine btw i don't need anyone commenting on it. #i didn't think about it while i was drawing since i was just focusing on the form #perhaps because it was only contour lines and didn't really have any shading to give any more dimensions #idk #and i did two drawings. but the first one was waaaaay better than the second. #we were supposed to take an hour to an hour and a half on each #the first one i took almost two hours on but i think it looked pretty good #it didn't end up looking like what i thought it was going to but im satisfied w the result. not proud but satisfied #the second one... i don't acknowledge that bastard #my back was hurting and the adderall was wearing off and my pose was way less comfortable. a lotta factors at once #that resulted in it being a worse drawing. inferior. you can still tell there's effort but i was compromised #and i clocked out at about 40 minutes bc i felt stuck #i had done all the major body parts and it was also not turning out how i thought it would #but whatever. #maybe i should ask someone to model for me bc modelling one's WHOLE BODY for oneself is rather difficult and compromising #like you can only do so many poses and i only have so much space and so many mirrors #my mirror was on the ground which was another thing that made it hard #and i was cold from being in the attic in my undies for so long. whaddaya gonna do

[peachinspiration]

dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)

#im in hell #that thing he said about not being able to sleep without magic or meds is so real #my sleep treatments even stopped working gradually #and if I don’t take any at all im laying awake until fuckinf 7 am #it takes me like an hour of holding it in to use the fuckinf bathroom #and the thing that makes me move is being terrified of kidney failure #it’s 6 pm and I still haven’t eaten my first meal of the day. tried ripping into a protein bar I had saved for moments like this but I can’t #make myself take more than 2 bites #the amount of times these past few years I’ve practically passed out from hunger cuz I just. cannot make myself get up to eat or make myself #something. omfgggggggff #I literally am a magic practitioner and have helped myself with spell work many times in the past yet I just can’t. make myself utilize it #more. yet I have all these books and supplies to use. and I’ve studied for hours and hours and know what to do #and it’s crazy cuz when im high off the sleep treatment THEN I actually do things but I don’t wanna use that more cuz im afraid of getting #addicted uhm. yeah idk what to even do anymore #my bf helps tremendously with leading me to do things but I don’t wanna take advantage of him too much and he’s long distance #but jesus fuck im literally on adderall now but its my emotional problems that keep it from working #it’s like wtf happened #I can’t fucking do anything unless someone’s there to guide me through it or keep me engaged as I work or they push me to in some way #and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything #it’s crazy cuz I related with his old self to the T especially with the desires and competitivity problems and trying to gain things he #doesn’t even actually want just for leverage and a sense of worth and the ‘if im not on the top on everything i dont have actual worth’thing #and other stuff I can’t remember off the top of my head. and I actually had friends and was more talkative #but now it’s like #🪿 #yk what I mean #there’s a shitload of other things I relate too hard with but I can’t remember rn or I won’t mention cuz too much to go into #my bf said if he were around irl he’d cook for me and help with stuff when I go thru being like this nonstop which hey nice cuz obv id help #him with anything too #I mean there’s days where im better and can Do Things but it never lasts long and it sucks I can’t ever trust myself having a job or #I had all these things I wanted to do but I just feel nothing toward it and it drives me insane like can this maybe Not happen so often

[slippery-minghus]

i love you doing my little stretches before bed! i love you walking 30min each way to and from work! i love you meds that make my brain let me do these things!

#remember that old antidepressant commercial where the pill helps the lady get dressed and go live her life? that's what adderall is for me #just that little boost of clarity and fortitude to help me actually do the things i already wanted to do #i've realized that my little toe touch stretch befre bed every night has not only been why my back is better but also why my neck is too #it actually cracks again and it cracks a LOT. like three big ones on the right and two on the left #when i used to be lucky to get more than one right side clunk #and all i had been doing until recently adding stuff on was beding at the waist and letting myself relax! #and then standing up straight and twising back and forth a bit to crack my back! #just that little bit - hardly 2min - every day has done wonders for my pain #and it's all because i can actually hold the mental space not only right before getting into bed #but also as yet another thing to hold in my bedrime routine (which can feel very long) #i can hold the extra space to do this stretch (and some nights even more!) bc of how much better my brain is when it's got more brain stuff #*happy sigh* i'm finally starting to feel settled in my new place and ahhh. i'm gonna be so happy here #narrating my life

[fear-is-truth]

₊˚⋆ 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑼𝑻 ．kai anderson 𓂂 ˚

𝓣ags: fem!reader. somno. non con. unprotected p in v

𝓢ummary: kai decides to give you a valentine’s day gift.

Kai woke up in the middle of the night, rock hard and needing some release. He was a light sleeper, so once he was awake, there was no point in attempting to return to sleep. Besides, he had other things on his mind. His eyes landed on you, curled up in a fetal position with your back turned to him. You wore only an oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties to bed, which was perfectly convenient for what he was about to do.

Slowly, he moved his hand down over your stomach, fingers hooking onto the hem of your panties. Seeing you like this, so peaceful and innocent-looking, it stirred something in him. Something that ran far deeper than mere lust.

His mind was hazy mess right now—maybe it was the Adderall? or was it because of all the blood rushing towards his dick. Perhaps both. Even in your sleeping state, you had him wrapped around your little finger. Kai wasn’t sure how he felt about that—he pushed the thought away with a quick shake of his head; he was getting distracted.

He began to tug, eyes trained on your sleeping face. The panties slid off without so much as a murmur from you. At this, he smirked; it was laughably easy, really. Like taking candy from a baby.

Two fingers grazed against your folds, testing your wetness. You were already dripping with arousal, and he was so desperate to just feel some of that warmth around his cock.

“Oh, my god..” Kai let out a strained laugh that was between a groan and a chuckle,

“So wet already... so fucking needy...”

He slid one finger inside, feeling just how tight and warm you were. Kept it there for a few seconds before inserting a second one, relishing in your soft little moans as he rotated his wrist slowly. He felt his cock twitch when you let out a pleased little sigh.

To hell with it. Kai wanted in. Now.

He lined himself up behind you in a spooning position, pressing the pink tip of his cock to your clit and rubbing it. Carefully, he inched further and further inside. You whimpered at the intrusion, but apparently it was a whimper of pleasure rather than pain because a moment later you were bucking back against him.

“Better be dreaming about me, little slut,”

Oh fuck, the way you clenched around him like a warm, tight glove. If only he could see the sleepy, surprised look on your face when you woke up. He began thrusting inside of you, biting his lip in an attempt to keep himself quiet but the vulgar squelching sounds coming from your cunt made it goddamn impossible.

“Mghnm-” As if on cue, your eyelids fluttered wide open. You squirmed, trying to turn around, but he held you firmly in place.

“Oh? Did I wake you from your beauty sleep?” His tone was a little bit of everything. Sweet. Malicious. Angry. Aroused. It was as if he couldn't pick which emotion he wanted to display, but it all came out at once.

“Such a good little lamb for me. Taking your leader’s cock so well,” He hissed through clenched teeth. He was close, and you being awake only made him more determined.

“-can’t get enough of this sweet pussy.”

Kai thrust into you hard and fast, brutal on his quest for release. Grabbing your hips in a vice-like grip, he slammed into you one last time, emptying his balls inside you and milking out every bit of relief he could get from your body.

When he finally did move, Kai eased himself out very slowly, letting out a satisfied groan once he had pulled out completely. Still smirking, he pressed his lips against the curve of your clavicle, planting a tender kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, lamb.”

 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. please do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

#american horror story #ahs #kai anderson #kai anderson smut #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson x y/n #⟢ my fics

[copperbadge]

It's very weird but apparently true, according to the research, that Adderall doesn't just help with focus and clarity, it lowers rejection-sensitive dysphoria for some people. Those don't seem like they'd be governed by the same brain chemicals but nature is wild I guess.

Taking an Adderall before attending a social event doesn't make me behave differently, because my behavior was actually fine to start with, but what it does do is soften the impact afterward. I don't spend the hours and days following the event dissecting every interaction for what I did wrong. I knew intellectually that I was fine and my faux pas weren't that memorable when they happened, but now I know it intrinsically as well. The memory of the awkward (which wasn’t even awkward!) is dulled, which is nice.

It does bring a certain clarity about what the real issues are, though -- like I can see through the insecurity and pinpoint what was actually awkward. I think something I need to work on is accepting compliments gracefully, because I'm not good at it. I don't process them very quickly and usually respond...not incorrectly, but not appropriately either. Not so much random people, like the dude who complimented my hair as he passed me on the sidewalk today, but friends and acquaintances in a social situation, that requires more work. 

The correct thing to do would be to say thank you, say something brief about what was complimented, and then turn it around and say something nice to the other person. I just get shocked that someone thinks there's anything particular about me to compliment, and I don't know how to reply without mitigating the compliment and then going off on a tangent. There’s a pretty easy script for all this, it’s just remembering to employ it rather than panicking -- just say “thank you!” brightly, which I already do, and then some nonsense like “I’m very pleased with X” instead of “Yeah it’s cheap but I like it” or whatever, and then “Hey you’re also XYZ, nice” instead of talking more about myself.

This all sounds extremely neurotypical I think you will agree.

Anyway, I just need to remember when I hear a compliment not to be weirded out that someone else thinks something nice of me, and instead remember to say thank you and compliment them in return. There is no reason people shouldn’t think nice things of me, I was literally diagnosed as being extremely charismatic. Also I am forty three years old and have two college degrees and own my own home, I am capable of learning to make better small talk. Lord I hope, anyway. 

#sam has adhd #small talk

[melonbellys]

„i didnt want to, but you made it sooo easy..“

Kai Anderson - without consent.

-

This is my first post on here, it‘s just a drabble that rotted in my notes for a while, just for my own imagination.. lmao

-

Warning: this is a piece of FICTION with just pure non consent, if this makes you uncomfortable i advise you to scroll.

non-consent, p in v, reader is female, LOTS of dirty talk, degrading, praising, age gap (reader is 20, he‘s 30.) , reader was a virgin, choking, daddy kink if you squint, kai on adderall, deepthroating, fingering (reader receiving) , yeah if i missed something pls comment..

word count: 1,709

kai n i met in a vinyl store, he caught my eye and i went up to him, saying how him buying a vinyl is „sooo lana-del-ray“, making fun of him. he didnt mind and he even laughed along me, i asked him if the coffee he had in his hand was good and now im here, stuck in this cult, kai kissing my neck and calling me ugly names.

„i bet you get wet even thinking about me.“ he said, full of confidence, touching my needy cunt through my panties.

„tell me how much you want me to destroy your tiny cunt“ he rubbed his fingers roughly over my clothed-clit, it hurt. a lot.

„p-please.. let me go.“ i say with tears in my eyes.

„if you didnt want this your panties wouldn’t be soaked, you dumb little slut.“ he was visibly hard, touching me, raping me.

„please, kai.“ tears keep streaming down my face as he undresses my lower half.

„if you gave in, it wouldnt hurt as much.“ he kept on talking, at this point i was saying nothing.

kai slapped my face, his deep, black eyes digging through my reddened eyes.

„c-can we do this… when im ready?“ i say again, crying as i was still a virgin, a 20 year old virgin, while he was 30.

„you want me to, i know that you want it. your wetness tells me otherwise.“ he keeps rubbing his thumb over my cunt, making me gasp and whine.

„i- kai please i dont want you to take my virginity!“ i yell out into his face, his hand holding my face, his thumb stuffed deep inside my mouth, playing with my tongue now.

„virgin? you‘re a virgin? god…. i want to rip your pretty pink pussy open with my cock…“ he rambles him taking off my panties immediately now.

„please no! kai please…“ i cry now.

„you crying makes it even better, you are such a good toy.“ he spits on my face and i felt myself get wetter from his touch, just a natural response and i hated it.

„you disgust me; you are just a hole for me to fuck, do you understand?“ his hand was still stuck in my mouth, fucking his fingers into my throat as i try to pull away.

„i bet your little mouth would feel soooo good around my dick baby. if only you‘d stop crying.“ he was so mad at me, he knew i was interested in him but not into him sexually.

„if only you would give in.“ he says before he bites my own lip, i try to kick him away but it only ends with him holding my legs.

„why wont you be a good girl, hm? always have to ruin everything.“ he chokes me so hard that i cant even think straight, my legs resting on his shoulder.

i cry out again but i lose myself in his touch, i couldnt fight him so i just went limp.

„thats it, i knew you wanted this.“ his finger enter my cunt roughly, fucking his digits into my core, moaning and crying as he does what he does.

„your tight little pussy had me hooked from the start, the moment i saw you i knew how good it‘d feel.“ tears keep running down, i was trying to pretend this was a nightmare, a movie.. some kind off horrible porn thatd only weird people would watch.

„i never care about girls, i only fuck them, usually they thank me. kai you made me cum so hard, thank you daddy.“ he mimics some other girl, which probably didnt happen and he just said for his own pleasure.

„im just making sure you think of me when someone else fucks you, slut.“

„IM A VIRGIN! IM NOT A SLUT.“ i yell at him as he stuffs my wet panties in my mouth.

„SHUT UP.“ he yells even louder than me.

„be happy im prepping you.“ he said as he rammed his fingers in continuously, not even making me feel good and hitting the spot that id liked, it hurt. so much.

„does that feel good? i bet it does.“ he spoke through gritted teeth as his whole arm moved now, i shook my head violently and he took out the panties and stuffed his fingers in my mouth instead.

„tell me, is that not your cunt? does it not taste like you? hm?“ his nails dig into me, it felt close to cutting me.

„if it didnt feel good you wouldnt be this wet.“ his eyes were emotionless, he was clearly on some sort of drug, as i saw him do it.

„god babygirl, you had such whore potential, if only you didnt wanna leave.“

he said, referencing a few minutes ago, where the moment i entered his house, he started kissing me, i gave in to the kisses but said no to sex. his kisses felt good for a second, before his hand moved to my skirt and i said that i cant and had to leave.

„you have to expect that to happen, you are worth nothing. absolutely NOTHING. only just a cunt to fuck.“

he pushed me on the bed and threw my panties to the side completely, his fingers loged so deeply in my throat that i would gag.

„i want you to gag on my cock so bad, but im nice to you.“ he smiles, kissing my nose.

he turned me around and spoke „get on all fours, i dont want to see you cry anymore.“ i protest and sit up, before he pushed me down again.

„nu-uhuh.“ his tongue clicked.

„baby… come on.“ he whispered.

„p-please… be careful.“

i cry out again and again, begging for him to NOT rip me apart.

„okay, i promise.“ he spoke in a soft tone, this was oddly reassuring. even if i was raped it didnt hurt as mu-

he didnt even bother to turn me around now, and aligned himself with my entrance. before saying anything his cock slammed so deep and hard into me that i only could scream, him quickly shutting me up with a blanket in my mouth which he held there.

„fuck baby, you‘re so fucking tight, god.“ he spoke through gritted teeth, raping my cunt as tears wont stop streaming, it hurt so bad.

it stung, his dick was so thick… and long i felt it hit my cervix and when i looked down, i looked at the bulge in my tummy.

„you… argh~ fuck, so good.“ he couldnt even say a coherent sentence, screaming into his hand that held the blanket there.

his cock felt so warm, the sensation was new… but it hurt… more physiologically than physically.

i started to give in now, loosening up a bit, knowing it would hurt less.

„now you‘re a good slut, you take my cock so well.“ he says as he takes me by my hair to face me.

„i wish i could hear your moans and curses, but all you do is cry.“ he says as he kept slamming himself into me.

i shake my head, pulling out the blanket before i speak.

„k-kai… let me speak.“ he kept pushing deeper.

he takes out the towel completely.

„cumming?“ he jumps to the conclusion quickly. i shake my head.

„kai… it hurts so much!“ i cry out again before he slows down.

„i‘ll be nice.“ he says before his fingers touch my clit again, making me gasp.

he goes slower, hitting my sweetspot now too, making me moan loudly, giving into the sensation.. i tried to pretend he wasnt raping me.

„it feels so good.“ i say, trying to satisfy him, maybe he would stop.

„i told you baby, hm? sex is sooo fucking nice.“ he says before he whispers into my ear again.

„are you gonna cum? tell me when you are close. i want you to cum in my mouth.“ this made me feel sick, i didnt want his mouth on me, especially not on my womanhood.

i had hoped he was done, but he wasnt.

„im gonna fuck your pretty mouth too, you‘ll like that right?“ i dont say anything and keep moaning, him hitting my cervix again.

i didnt want it. i wanted it to end. so bad.

„p-please stop.“ i cry out again and again.

„no… you‘re just starting to make me like you.“ he kisses me, his tongue deep into my mouth and i let out a hum.

„i didnt want to rape you, but you made it soooo easy.“ his words hurt, he was traumatizing me even more.

„k-kai… why are you doing this?“ i look him right into his eyes, for the first time that day.

„dont… look at me.“ he turns my head away.

„i dont want you to look at me.“ he says as he slaps me again, just hurting me even more.

„im fucking you cuz i want to, bitch.“ he goes even harder now, i was probably bleeding too now and as he got even more rough now, my eyes seemed to upset him.

„you‘re on birthcontrol, right?“ he speaks through his teeth as he seemingly was close

„n-no, please… kai dont, just use my mouth!“ i beg as i look into his eyes again, trying to awaken the guy thats inside of his shell.

„and now we are begging, i told you you wanted it.“ yea. sure wanted it. definitely not trying to avoid pregnancy.

he pulls out of me with a hiss, my heat was hurting, swollen and just pulsating.

his hands rest on it and he looks at me, i felt sore.

„my dick is coated with your fucking juice, clean it up like a good little girl.“ he said as he ripped open my mouth, his tip resting on my lips.

„you have such a pretty mouth, put it to good use.“

he pushes his cock deep inside, my tongue gliding against it.

„mhhm, thats what i meant baby.“ he bucks his hips in my mouth as he holds me by my hair, i kept gagging.

„too big, huh?“ no, too rough.

tears were streaming down my face, and my eyes roll back.

„my fucked out slut.“ he speaks inbetween animalistic grunts.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !! pls comment n reblog maybe ! :3 i lov you

this is my first post, so again… pls dont be mean.

#kai anderson #kai anderson fic #kai anderson smut #evan peters smut #evan peters #evan peters fic #smut #nonconsensual #ahs cult #kai ahs #american horror story #ahs smut #ahs fic #tate langdon smut #james patrick march #tate langdon #james patrick march fic #smut drabble #drabble #kyle spencer #kit walker #kyle spencer smut #kit walker smut #kai anderson x reader

[catboybiologist]

Slightly late monthly journal!

First off, the spreadsheet has been updated:

Nothing too drastic here, especially compared to my initial growth spurt. But still… there’s so much, yet so little to talk about.

I’ve been on spiro for a longer time now, and recently increased my estradiol dose. Note that my levels check was before the increased dose- the dates aren’t completely coordinated (they are on my private spreadsheet for my own personal tracking, don’t worry). It’s looking pretty good. Testosterone is well within target levels. E is about the same, which is much lower than I would like it. My endo says that 100-200 is “minimally acceptable”, and wants to shoot even higher than that. That’s comforting, in a way- I’m the slightest bit frustrated that some changes aren’t happening too quickly, but that gives a very distinct avenue for improvement. Ultimately, I’m gonna switch to injection monotherapy, probably around the same time I start prog. So the big change is decreased T. What has that done to me?

First off, the hard measurements. There’s really no surprises here. I’m losing weight, which tracks with my general diet and an increase in exercise levels. It seems to be happening faster than normal, though. Which, is pretty easily explainable by a new variable in the equation: adderall. I started adderall in the middle of the month. I’ve used it sparingly, but everyone I know that takes it told me that weight loss is pretty much unavoidable. I’m certainly still above any point where my weight would be worrying, but I’m gonna have to keep an eye on it. Especially if I want fat tits. As for how the weight loss is happening, I’m very happy with what’s going on. My bust and hip measurements are holding steady, while my waist and underbust are still slightly going down. 

I do know that there’s another source of weight loss, however: muscle mass. With the increase in exercise level has come an increase in exertion for the same results, which has made me slightly dismayed. This is the main HRT effect that I was a little scared of. But honestly, I really only care about the muscle that helps me hike and swim- and if I maintain that better, I think it won’t be too much of an issue. I was never some pariah of physical condition, so I think with training I can even improve my hiking stamina. That’ll be very necessary with my future backpacking plans.

The main thing that I’m REALLY happy about is that, if I squint, I think I can slowly start to see the first hints of facial changes start to come in. They’re subtle, of course. A weird one is that my nose is literally straighter. Y’all don’t see it, but the reason I still shield my face (despite being easily identifiable at this point if you saw me irl and knew this account) is mostly insecurity about my nose and chin. My nose actually physically curves to my right when viewed from the front, and in general, is a huge, classic Roman nose. Looking at head on progress pictures, its actually starting to straighten out. I thought I was imagining things, but I checked in with a couple friends before and after pictures of several years on HRT, and yeah- their noses are different, usually smaller and more symmetrical. Saying that this is a huge relief to me would be an understatement. Additionally, I was insecure about my boxy jawline, but for some reason, it seems to work as a femme feature of my face now- I think slight cheek restructuring helps frame it better. Still not so sure how the chin is gonna turn out. But hey- I started HRT thinking that I would for sure need FFS to pass, but now, I'm far less concerned. I'll at least give it two years.

I’ve also gotten a lot of interesting comments. Several labmates and family members that don’t know I’m transitioning have remarked that my skin looks healthier, and I look younger. I’ve also had noticeable mental health improvement, so I think most people think I’m on some kind of self improvement kick. I mentioned skin care as part of that. We’ll see how long the excuse holds- probably a while, as the changes are so, so subtle at the moment. But shit, I’m only three months in. I’m thrilled.

There’s still no getting rid of my beard shadow. Even though the growth rate of my facial hair has noticeably decreased, the thickness of the basal hairs will always add shading to my face. When I started HRT, I thought it wouldn’t bother me that much until I was ready to socially transition- but tbh, it’s starting to look glaring to me. I’m looking into starting laser sometime in January, and hopefully that’ll help.

Which brings me to the emotional changes. Holy FUCK what a month its been. I’m not gonna expose all of my dirty laundry. But, a mixture of some long term anxieties and a few particular events led to a classic mid-20s “what the fuck am I doing with my life” crisis. One of those long term anxieties was a thought I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with: “I started HRT. Now what? How the fuck am I going to socially transition?”

For a couple days, I was very seriously considering quitting grad school and academia. I’m past that. Tragically, I love science a little too much. I do, however, need a break. I talked to my advisor about taking a hiatus, and he’s fully supportive of the idea. And conveniently, that also provides me with a clean way to simply disappear, and come back as a woman. A nice little break to allow me to socially transition.

But anyways. Here’s my big point here: if I went through something similar pre-HRT, I would’ve reacted completely differently. I would’ve shoved those thoughts deep and let them simmer as a general, background malaise that I would just stew in and suffer. Now? I cried. A lot. Actual fucking tears. I went through a few days of sharp sadness, and then actually fucking processed those emotions. What the fuck? That’s new. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have had the emotional capacity to that before. 

I’m elated. It’s wonderful. It’s a more than welcome change.

But yeah. Steady as she goes. Progress is a little stalled, but both me and my provider are adamant about getting that E up. And I’m still making slow progress as it is.

Very quick NSFW notes after this button.

The final note: sexual function. With the low T… yup, my downstairs functionality has decreased. My ejaculate is clear, and often happens without being fully erect. That said… there’s no way in hell that I would ever trade getting that back for what I have now. My libido is still comes in waves, and is crazy when it comes. The feelings I get from intimate situations now are incredible beyond belief. 

#trans #trans journal #transgender #transfem #trans hrt #hrt #transfemme hrt #transitioning #trans progress

[bomberqueen17]

quick turnaround

The first chicken processing day is this coming tuesday. so we got back into town around 7pm last night, and I immediately put a load of laundry in.

This is mostly me wittering about chores and medical stuff, so, cut for boring, LOL.

it's cold and rainy here so I hung last night's laundry up on drying racks in the guest room, so mostly it is dry this morning-- delicates, so they didn't need to dry in the sun really-- and now this morning i've put in a second load and it's already on drying racks and some is on the line, it's not raining but it's cloudy so it'll dry slow, but like, trousers and t-shirts do better on the line than on racks. Yes I do own a dryer-- a gas dryer actually-- but it beats the fuck out of my clothes and I don't like to use it if I can in any way avoid it. (Mostly I use it to tumble towels and dress shirts for fifteen minutes, and then I hang them out once they're steaming and hot, and they dry without wrinkles that way. Yes I'm on the OCD spectrum, yes it mostly manifests about laundry. Hilariously, my farm BIL is also on the OCD spectrum, farther along it toward where it's actually a problem [mine is SO mild I don't claim it as a disorder at all, i just have things i Care About for Reasons], and has done tons of work on himself and tries to mask it, but once I understood that about him I understood that most of our lil workplace quarrels were our compulsions clashing, so I started making more concerted efforts to decide when to bow to his compulsions and when to advocate for mine, which in many cases are informed by superior knowledge as I've worked in food service more than him. I bow to him more on cleaning now because he does have prior janitorial experience. Unless I can prove he's wrong, LOL.)

I went off Ritalin mostly while on vacation-- I took it the morning I went fabric shopping because I thought it might help me actually make decisions, and that went well so maybe it worked. But that means I have extra pills, so I'm going to try to today take a morning and midday dose, while I have So Much To Do to prepare for the coming couple of weeks, and see if that plus the structure of this massive to-do list help me get anywhere. I just feel like if I can have this data before my next $300 3-minute psych consult I'll make more progress. Ritalin is better than Adderall (less brutal comedown, less getting "stuck")-- I *think*, but it's hard to tell. Vyvanse was also very hard to evaluate, is the problem, because that one I never did have any spare pills so I could never try an effective dose.

I do get it, i do get not giving me high doses when I'm so unsupervised, but-- for all of the medications, the first couple of days were weird and I had trouble hydrating and I was jittery and stuff, but it went away so quickly, I would have been fine with "take half dose two days, then ramp up to effective dose and see how it works" type directions, instead of "take what we know absolutely will be too little for you for two weeks and then come back and try to guess whether it helped", which has just meant I don't really have much data to on on here.

But. I've spent almost forty years needing this kind of medication and not able to access it at all, so I'm reminding myself that this is very rapid progress really.

So I figure I'll do a double dose today, a single tomorrow while I'm driving (maybe I will take that sole dose at midday, since driving is easy and boring but then I have work I need to get done all afternoon), and then I'll try either single or double dosing for the week of farm work until I can get my next appointment, depending how many pills I have. I want to be consistent but lol. It's not in my nature and it's not in my circumstances, so it can be a goal.

I also should write down what I realized about my sciatic nerve. I was joking that my knee caught a haunting in New Orleans somehow. Because it went from being a classic sciatic nerve pain situation-- starting in hip, through back of leg, ending at back of knee-- and wound up just being this horrible pinching pain right inside my knee, like not in the joint but somehow manifesting in a dimension extending from the back of my patella into Hell somehow-- and it was keeping me awake both when trying to nap during the day and also at night when trying to sleep. So I gave up on sleeping and sat on the couch to bitch about it in the complaints channel on the Discord where I'm mostly at home (it was a witcher server and over the last two or three years has mutated into just this ragtag group of us bitching about unrelated things and occasionally dumping fanworks on each other, sometimes about unrelated media)--

but here I'm gonna let you in on a secret, which is that complaining works sometimes. What? Yes. So in order to elicit maximal sympathy from my pocket friends by describing the problem really well (they're very good pocket friends, and many of them know things so describing stuff well sometimes means they have good advice, but even if not, I take satisfaction in communicating well, so I at least feel better about having done that), I really started paying attention to the pain, and I realized that what was happening was that it was sort of slowly throbbing on a cycle. I always knew where it was, but then it would get painful enough that I felt I had to move and change position, and it would stay at that level of pain for three or four seconds, and then taper off until I only just was aware of it, and then it would repeat-- and it was on a thirteen-to-fifteen-second cycle, and this is the crucial thing, it was unaffected by movement. I had been tossing and turning because what would happen was that it hurt badly enough that I felt I had to move it, and I would move and the pain would ease, and I would try to settle into a position, and then the pain would come back, and my half-asleep exhausted self thought that it was something I was doing. So it meant I was constantly moving, which meant I could not sleep. I had finally gotten out of bed and was alternating stretching and pacing, which seemed to be helping but then it was coming back, and the pacing sure as fuck wasn't helping me sleep, and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, until finally I stood still and timed it, and then moved and timed it, and realized it was the same.

Realizing that it was happening regardless of movement made me able to hold still while it hurt most acutely, and then sure enough it faded away. And once I knew that moving wouldn't help, I could ride out the urge to move. And once I wasn't constantly trying to find a comfortable position, I could rest. And once I was resting, I could fall asleep. Because this is the annoying thing-- the pain wasn't that bad, even. It's not the agony it has been in the past. I could move through it, easily. It was just too much to hold still through, until I realized that was what I needed to be doing.

So anyway-- traveling home it was mostly fine, it does not like standing in lines, and mostly i sat as much as possible, which isn't good for me long-term but i know over the next couple of weeks i will be doing a shitton of walking and standing so. we'll figure out tactics then.

so along with the ritalin i will be working out my ideal regimens of ibuprofen, aleve, and weed, LOL. Routine! I can make a routine. I can hinge my routine off other people's, which is what works well for me at the farm, and i can see if i can master the art of the amphetamines and maybe get some of my shit done.

Unfortunately all I want to do this week is sew, I watched all of the tourists and locals in NOLA and looked at what they were wearing and now know exactly what I want to make.

and i don't have time to do any of it. but. if i think about it and make concrete plans, i already own much of the fabric and most of the patterns i need. so i can do this. But I'll post separately about the Fashion Lewks I want to do, LOL.

I won't see my physical therapist again until like maybe early June. I counted it out and I've been doing physical therapy for about sixteen weeks at this point. My sister graduated from her physical therapy program and is out on her own now, having hugely improved. I can tell the bad hip is much improved but not healed-- sitting on the plane yesterday someone walked by and bumped my knee and it absolutely did make the cartilage flap go "pop" so that's not healed, but it hurt a lot less than that sort of thing used to. At the last appointment I had, the PT said I should just keep doing the exercises as my circumstances allow, and if they're too easy just increase reps etc., and we'd re-evaluate when I finally saw her again, because obviously I've had all these underlying cascading problems that can only be slowly solved by getting slowly stronger, so who knows.

I don't have concrete goals for that but I would really just. Like to be not-disabled, mostly. Every person has limits, every person is going to have to sit down sometimes, every person is going to have to think hard and make choices about what they do with their bodies-- it's just part of getting into your mid-forties, really-- so I can't just set my goal as being able to do whatever whenever. But I would like to be able to walk for longer distances, I would like to be able to wait in a line without paying for it for days, I would like to just generally be in better shape. So I guess I'll try to work toward that.

idk. and sometime in july my doctor wants me to re-test my fasting blood glucose because the only thing she cares about of my health is that i'm fat and she thinks putting me on metformin will make me not-fat. you'd think she'd have had some interest in diagnosing the pain that was making me unable to exercise but that was not on her radar i guess.

anyway. that's what i'm going to do to get me to june. it's all farm time for the rest of the month and i'm going to do physical therapy and take meth. we'll see how that goes.

#about the author #farm life #etcetera

[hazbinhotelactorsau]

alastor

« why'd i do tha'? well, cher, it was funny, i'm an asshole, and i don' like ya! »

Name: Alastor Theodore LeBlanc

Nicknames: Al (by Charlie and Naomi), Dollface (by Antonio), Bambi (by everyone)

Height: 172cm (5'8)

Age: 33

Birthday: November 10 19XX

From: New Orleans, Louisiana

Nationality: Louisiana Arcadian (Cajun)

Languages: English, Cajun French which he pretends he's better at than he actually is (mostly knows pet names and threats/insults) (speaks with a heavy Yat accent)

Gender: Male (Intersex, Classic CAH)

Pronouns: Refers to himself with He/Him but does not care what others call him (he finds it amusing when people misgender him)

Sexuality: Cupioaroace

Partner: Antonio (Queerplatonic)

Famous For: True Crime Podcaster, Blogger and Interviewer for VOXfeed Unsolved

Plays: Alastor 'the Radio Demon'

Trivia:

originally, his character was named Andrew 'the Radio Demon' but he kept forgetting that he was supposed to answer to that name, and Blitzø thought 'Alastor' sounded more edgy anyway so they changed it to make it easier for him

his natural accent was considered too strong and 'too friendly sounding' so he learnt himself a transatlantic accent for the role. he tried to learn a queen's english accent and got absolutely obliterated for his horrible attempt by the brits in the cast

he loves fucking around with gender stereotypes and gender expression. he sometimes dabbles in drag which started purely as him being drawn to the showmanship of it but he found he actually enjoyed fucking around with his gender

he once dressed up in drag for an after party celebration and convinced a drunk oxley he was a new cast member for next season until he messed up and accidentally revealed himself. oxley didn't talk to him for a week after that

his hair is dyed red and naturally curly (a mix of 3A, 3B and some strands of 3C) which he gets from his mother. seeing his curls reminds him of her which makes him sad, so he straightens his hair most of the time to avoid getting upset. he still avoids looking in the mirror regardless though

has a soft spot for younger women (sees them as the little sister he always wanted) and thus is happy to cosplay with naomi and let victoria give him a makeover every now and then (and lecture him for his lack of hair care routine because "seriously, alastor, what the fuck do you mean you've been straightening your hair for two decades without any sort of care or routine?")

he is autistic and has adhd. he was prescribed adderall for his adhd but he never remembers to take it. he also has c-ptsd.

he was attacked by a neighbour's dog when he was 19 that left him with permanent nerve damage and a limp in his left leg. he sometimes uses a cane to help which is where his character got his microphone stand from. he's terrified of oxley's service dog because of what happened but he doesn't tell oxley because he doesn't want him to feel bad for needing an aid (the same way he uses a cane for aid)

he has freckles that he hides with makeup after lucas said he 'looks like a baby deer' which resulted in everyone giving him the nickname 'bambi' (which he pretends to hate but actually quite enjoys)

everyone finds him a bit creepy. one of his special interests is animal bones and taxidermy and he makes no effort to hide it from the others. he often gifts them little taxidermies or fossils or bones and often jokes that "y'all shouldn't be askin' wha' that is! y'all should be askin' who it is!"

fans think he's 'method acting' to play the role but the other cast members point out that "he's not method acting, that's just how he is. he's just. like that."

he isn't a serial killer or a cannibal but he loves to make jokes and leave hints that he is. he makes little snide comments that come across like he very much is a serial killer. the others can't tell if he's serious or not about it which he finds hilarious

he will do just about anything if he finds it funny enough. he thrives on fun and entertainment for himself. people are wary of him because he's known to be a prankster

despite his character, he doesn't smile that much off set. he's self-conscious of his smile and tends to reserve it only for antonio's eyes. he often complains about being cast as a character who smiles all the time (well, he complains about everything. he's a major complainer and everyone finds it hilarious and he would rather drop dead than admit to being whiny)

he's a huge fan of astrology because of antonio. he also got into tarot reading because a distant relative gifted him a tarot deck that definitely wasn't a regift one year. he enjoys doing readings for the others even if it's hard to resist messing with them (it's one of the few things he takes seriously)

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel actor au #actor info #radiodust #human alastor

[thalassarche]

Hey y’all experiencing these heat waves or going places that are way hotter than you’re used to: Check your meds to find out whether anything you’re taking can cause heat sensitivity! This includes: heat intolerance (getting overheated very easily), increased sweat production OR impaired sweat production, increased OR reduced thirst, lethargy, reduced alertness, and increased risk of fainting

A lot of very commonly taken medications can cause heat sensitivity, and a lot of people don’t find out about it until they’re wondering why they’re sweating buckets or feeling exhausted after a short time in the heat. Additionally, some common OTC meds like cold and allergy meds, antibiotics, and NSAIDs can cause photosensitivity, which makes you far more prone to burning in the sun.

[Alt text: Meds That May Cause Heat Sensitivity: Mental Health meds (Prozac, Zoloft, Xanax, Klonopin, Cymbalta, Effexor, Elavil, etc) - ADD/ADHD Stimulants (Adderall, Dexedrine, Vyvanse, etc) - Diphenhydramine (Benadryl, ZZZquil) - Blood Pressure (beta blockers, diuretics). This is not an exhaustive list! Please check your own medications, including OTC, for heat-related side effects! Keep hydrated, limit heat exposure, and be safe!] I have to emphasize that the above list is not exhaustive, it presents a handful of examples in a few common categories. Research the meds that you take, especially if they’re similar to any that are listed! If you do take meds that can cause heat sensitivity, be aware that you may have a much harder time handling the heat, and that time spent exposed to high heat puts you at higher risk of developing heat-related illnesses such as heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The warning signs of heat exhaustion include headache, racing pulse, heavy breathing, fatigue, nausea, muscle cramps, and light-headedness. If you start to experience these symptoms, get to a cool environment, remove any layers of clothing you can, place cool damp cloths on yourself, take frequent but small sips of water, and monitor your symptoms. If they don’t go away in an hour or they worsen, or you start vomiting, seek medical attention, because they could progress to heat stroke, and that is a life-threatening medical emergency. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I’m just someone who’s taken many of these meds, some for over a decade, and it wasn’t until I moved to Arizona that a medical professional ever talked to me very specifically about these potential side-effects in a way that made me actually realize I’d been experiencing this. My prescriber is working with me to find some different meds that addresses my needs without making me miserable with side-effects, so if you’re in a similar place, ask what other options there might be for you. Above all, be safe in the heat! Stay hydrated, you need more water than you think, and it’s far better to take frequent small drink! 

#heat sensitivity #heat intolerance #medications #idk what to usefully tag this with I just made a post on twitter specifically for folks going to FFXIV FanFest in Las Vegas next week #and I stole my own content to put it here too

[littlethingwithfeathers]

What to do if you get caught by the Adderall shortage:

So, it’s not getting picked up by the news much (at least not that I’ve seen... NPR, BBC, AP), but there’s a pretty serious Adderall shortage happening right now. It’s been building for awhile helped along by the usual suspects (labor shortages, limited manufacturing facilities, shutdowns due to illness... blah blah) and some not so usual ones (More people getting diagnosed with ADHD... when you take away someone’s coping mechanism, which for some people it’s their in-person work environment and social activities, people start to have more issues!). And it looks like this could last until the beginning of 2023... so... what to do?

Please note, I’m not a doctor or medical professional of any kind. I just had to deal with this, and it’s worrying and a little troublesome to manage, so I thought I’d pass on some advice from my experience. It might not be one size fits all but it might help someone to know who to talk to and what to ask.

Also, if you’re going to use this as a moment to spout some drivel about “Maybe we don’t neeeeed all these meds, you guysssss!” please kindly fuck entirely, completely, and all the way off into the void. Same goes for people who are looking at this as an excuse to whine about “addicts” or drug related crime. Read the room. This post is not your soapbox. 

SO! You’ve gotten a call from your pharmacy that they can’t fill your Adderall prescription because your scrip is on backorder. Wat do??? Step one: Don’t panic. It is one pharmacy out of one version of a drug. You’ve got options, though it might take some legwork. If your prescription is at a chain like CVS, Target, Walmart, etc see if the pharmacy tech will call around to other stores in the area and ask about their stocks. Step two: 

Call your prescribing doctor, inform them of the situation, and ask for a paper prescription. Go pick up the prescription. Ask them for their advice and for information on which pharmacy to call (they might know of a pharmacy with the med in stock).

Step three: 

Start phoning pharmacies. Begin with the big chains. Places like CVS, Walgreens, Target, Walmart, and major grocery stores... places with multiple locations in town. Start here because they might be able to check with other stores in their chain to find out who has your prescription in stock, which will save you a phone call or three potentially. They also have more integrated supply networks and will have a better handle on their inventory. Fan out from your location with the help of Google. If you live in a big city, don’t be afraid to start checking in the ‘burbs or outlying towns. Also, if the pharmacy tech doesn’t seem like they’re in a rush, ask them if they’ve got other options... the generic form, other measurements, other types (long acting, short acting, etc). That will potentially save you this rigmarole a second time if you come up dry.

Step four:

If you call every pharmacy and have no luck, call your prescribing doctor back. Tell them you’ve phoned literally everyone and no one can fill your prescription and ask if there is a way you can change it by a few milligrams or switch to generic for this month? Could you get a shorter prescription (fewer pills, thus easier to fill)? Could you do short acting instead of long acting or vice versa for a few weeks until backorders get filled? In short, see if you can get an alternative to tide you over. Go get that paper prescription, and then start over (this is why asking some of those questions to the pharmacy techs could pay off).

Concluding advice:

-You do not have to do this by yourself. You don’t even actually have to do this yourself. Someone can do 90% of this for you. Other than the call to your physician for the script, a parent, spouse, friend, sibling or otherwise can help with this. They will just need the paper prescription, your insurance card, your name and date of birth, and your prescribing physician’s name and place of business. Get someone to help you if you can.

-If you’re not getting bit by the shortage, take this as a sign to stockpile your meds a bit. And this kinda goes for everyone, not just the ADHD/Adderall people. Shortages and supply issues are not going to go away any time soon. Next it might be blood pressure meds, or a particular steroid... who knows. Talk to your doctor about how to effectively plan for this with the meds you’re taking. Future you will thank you.

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