#which. i cant really figure out why

[askkwieon]

wip

wanted to put kerdor in a famcy fit and it... got outta hand

i do plan on doing this to All my trolls. so this will take a while

#arts #kerdor #jaespe #selnie #hieser #i was watching a music video and i was #so gay enamored #i was like perhaps if my trolls looked like the rap ladies #maybe id play with them more #but i think the real problem is i dont have a tight enough narrative for em #i might have to retcon my whole fantroll cannon back into its original form #like. the shit im currently interested in includes several AUs for characters who arent like #consequential to any cannon i have #which. i cant really figure out why #maybe cuz its easier to do random smutty shit w them without feeling like im contributing to some overarching narrative #maybe i need a looser narrative for my trolls actually #thanks for coming to my ted talk ig #this piece has me in a semi-manic state #probably because its way past my bedtime #and i work a fucking retail job and its sorta killing me #but i digress

[ghostpebble]

hey bh6 tumblr are you ready to be sad?? no? great!

cass hamada was probably the sister of mr hamada, looking at this family photo (considering that mrs. hamada looks too much of asian descent compared to cass?? just hear me out because they don't look enough alike and enough NOT alike for me to be decisive about it, especially w/ the picture quality in the scene)

now, for hiro and tadashi to still be hamada's in this case, that means that their father most likely took up their mother's family name instead, as long as we're sticking by the fact that hiro and tadashi are half-white-half-japanese.

the sad part?

once hiro and tadashi's parents passed away, cass lost her brother and her new sister-in-law and took in the children that, frankly, look VERY much like her brother. and it doesn't stop there.

either of these two happened:

1. cass took the hamada name so that hiro and tadashi, once adopted, wouldn't have to part with their family name and could still identify with their parents and culture.

or

2. cass took the hamada name because it was what her brother did. she took any chance to be closer to him and to preserve what he would have wanted after his death, and gave up her own name to take on the hamada legacy, not just so that hiro and tadashi could keep it, but because it was what her brother wanted. and she misses him.

#LOL HOPE YOURE SOBBING BC I AM #I WAS LITERALLY ONLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE HAMADA FAMILY LOGISTICS #BC I NEED IT FOR A FIC #BUT NOW IM REALLY SAD AND INTROSPECTIVE ABOUT CASS #GOD THAT POOR WOMAN #we love cass in this household #and not in the r34 way get out of here #yes she eats but i dont want to hear about it please 😭 #big hero 6 #big hero six #big hero 6 the series #bh6 #cass hamada #hiro hamada #tadashi hamada #aunt cass #bh6 hiro #bh6 tadashi #hamada family #sigh #i cant believe i dont know which one is supposed to be which still #the mom KIND OF looks like cass #but also DOESNT #and the dad both looks white #and still also DOESNT #why disney #why

[skunkes]

finally successfully figuring out an issue that needs to be solved with my art for me to improve and be happy wit it but not knowing how to solve it

#talkys #and also spiraling bc i look back at old art and like some of it but i really dont like the way i draw ykwim #i dont like that this is my style it doesnt make me happy. but i dont like anyone elses's style enough to emulate either. sucks #OH the issue is i have specific ways i like drawing heads/faces that cant comfortably go on a body #furs are easy bc you can draw huge necks short legs smaller bodies etc #if i had drawn a recent smunker with a human head the head would look too big ykwim #the way i like drawing heads means they have to go on a bigger longer more realistic body. and i dont like that/cant draw bodies easily tha #way. as it stands rn my heads either fit kinda big on a body‚ which is more in line with how humans actually are #which makes my work feel more rigid and like i have to align more with realism #or the heads are too small and make the bodies look even longer. and i dont like. long bodies. i cant figure it out. it just doesnt look #right. no human full body ive done ever looks right to me. like i cant hack it and make it stylized enough for me to not care abour #the Rules like i do with furs #idk if this makes sense. i keep seeing styles like urasawa with small facial features and i love that i wanna do that #but the proportions mean id have to draw a more realistic body....idk...! #and also theres 500 billion ways to draw a face. i cant draw the same body proportions for all of em. #this is why it feels like im drawing for the first time every time i draw a new character...! #cant draw heads first bc then the body looks bad...cant draw bodies first bc i cant attach the head... #cant thumbnail the whole silhouette bc then when i add details the head still looks too big or small compared to the body... #and simply scaling the size does not fix it...

[fighting-these-demons]

Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

--------------------------------------

Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

--------------------------------------

Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

#Domon Kasshu/Chibodee Crocket #Royal Flush #Chibodee Crocket/Domon Kasshu #Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU #mobile fighter g gundam #I imagine he hasn't had time for a Big Gay Crisis yet but the time is absolutely now #Kyoji absolutely helps him through this crisis because he had a normal environment and university to figure his own shit out. #Kyoji has to figure out WHY Domon is imploding and explosive and avoiding everyone a second time though. #This doesn't seem related to the Divorce but it doesn't seem immediately obvious either. 🤔 #Cue Schwarz FINALLY getting a fucking break and immediately coming to stay with Rain and Kyoji at their place. #Domon was aware that they had been living together in Neo Japan briefly before Schwarz was called back to Neo Germany for questioning #Once his rank was stripped of him he was back with Kyoji for a short period before the Divorce as part of Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu's study of #DG Cells. Once they had a breakthrough - Schwarz was sent abroad with a small military group and Doctors Without Borders group to assist #With immediate infection cases on behalf of Neo Japan as part of reparations. So Domon hadn't seen him in quite some time. #Domon certainly wasn't expecting to see him in the garden when he rounded the corner of the Mikamura residence #Leaned over Kyoji who appears to have been working outside on his laptop. Fingers intertwined a hand on Kyojis jaw and locked in a kiss. #Which ends pretty much instantly as they sense Domon and break apart. It occurs to Kyoji and Schwarz that Kyoji never #Got the chance to actually tell Domon much about himself and the man he'd grown into while Domon was training in Hong Kong with Master Asia #This might be a pretty significant shock to him. #I can't decide between Domon running from his Gay Revelation or IMMEDIATELY Losing His Shit at the thought of Rain's SECOND marriage ending #And knowing for sure now the reason why his and Rain's marriage didn't work out. He really does prefer men. #Bu HOW DARE Kyoji do this to her!!! She's been through enough!!!! This will HURT her SO BADLY!!! (Projection of guiiillllttt) #Back to square 1 fir a moment like damn #And once he starts fighting Kyoji about it (Thank God the ressurection gave them the option to make Kyojis new build similar to Schwarz's) #It comes out that Rain cant go through this AGAIN and he won't let him do this to her! Her honor means something to Domon #And it should mean something to Kyoji too as HER HUSBAND #Kyoji and Schwarz catch on the Again bit and Kyoji makes it clear that Rain has known about his situation with Schwarz since they returned #That they're quite literally inseparable and that Rain married him knowing this. She's fully aware and an active participant. #Domon takes a leg sweep and doesn't quite make his recovery as Schwarz steps in #Pinning his arms and one leg in place so he can't run from Kyojis question. Kyoji grabs Domon's hair to turn his head and asks

[straylaughs]

dont know how to go about formulating my thoughts about the entire show but i do have to give bucchigiri its flowers for that absolutely stunning fight sequence between matakara and arajin

#like ???????? #wowie #the animation always goes hard for the fight sequences but this was so good #also super fun seeing arajin WANTING to fight and giving his all #kinda got langa flashbacks when arajin was falling in the void LOL #i honestly cant figure out what to say about the finale #like its been at least an hour since i finished it and i still don't know #so on a very surface level i'd say it was cute #i did actually very much appreciate the short flashback at the beginning #because it does really make sense as to why matakara clung to him #as for arajin himself #congrats to him for being a honki person ig? (which i still don't fully understand but im okay with that tbh) #and the blood stamp he gave matakara was cute too #... that's about all i can think of to say (there's definitely more i could think of) #like zabu not telling komao that matakara nearly killed him but maybe that wouldn't have mattered question mark #anyways #my official bucchigiri rating: ''sure?''/10 #bucchigiri?!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

language learning revelation i had

#me understanding 5 words in a 20 minute podcast episode: :D :D :D :D #me understanding enough of a podcast episode to be super aware of every word i dont know: :( :( :( :( :( #this is why the b1-b2 plateau is a thing #youre like in the 25-75% range there i think #which is THE MOST ANNOYING #with french i think ive just passed 75 so its fun again #im at like 80 i think #with arabic im at like 1 so its suuuper fun #it's avictory if i can figure out the TOPIC of ap odcast episode #bc like i cant read the titles fhkjghjgkhg #with french i could at least tell the topic from the title but i cant read the titles #so when i figure out what theyre talking about it's like holy shit #and i get like 20 minutes to try and do that #tunisian ones are fun bc they put in a lot of french words #so those are fairly easy to figure out #but also means i catch more and im doing 2 langauges at once so it doesnt take away from the fun #i explained to my dad yesterday my method of just listening to podcasts and trying to understand Anything. ANything At All #and he was like you have a lot of patience #but honestly i think it's the best way to learn #when you really want to know what something is saying and you have no other way to find out but to listen or read it #and like. figure it out #its my favourite way #and at the end the graph flattens out bc like it gets boring again right #this is why we start learning new languages when we plateau #bc we miss the fun

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[vaugarde]

back when this series first dropped i remembered it really bothered me that people called satogou "firstfriendshipping" cause it ignored chloe's presence in the group as goh's actual first friend, and yknow it sorta had "ignore the girl so only the boys matter" vibes, but see now i can't even be too annoyed about that cause in retrospect it's not like the show itself gives a fuck about chloe or considers her goh's friend

#which like. honestly id argue theres some misogyny in the show in how she was handled #cause she WAS billed as another companion. shes in the opening shes very prominent in those first few eps #but the writers didnt actually care about her arc. they only cared about ash's and goh's. the show acts like her friendship with goh isnt a #isnt as important. and then later on they retcon yamper being ''her'' pokemon and give her that dumbass eevee plot #shes literally a rehash of a rehash and its so disappointing. shes just serena and may's arc again but worse #literally got to the point where her final centric episode wasnt even about HER. it was about her goddamn dad #and it ends with her basically going ''hmmm i might figure out what i wanna do. but not right now. bc the writers didnt know either'' #and then she becomes a researcher which is what she was afraid of being percieved as bc of her heritage and its not even remarked upon #like. are you serious. au where the writers gave a shit about koharu beyond making her another eevee girl #i cant even appreciate her eevee being a silly little girl cause in the sub at least it actually got really grating #that VA was gasping for breath with how high pitched and airy they made that eevee voice and it got really old really fast #which is why im glad they dubbed it in english. they didnt have to but hopefully that makes my life easier #unless the dub voice is also obnoxious which is unfortunately very possible #echoed voice #jn lb

[sodrippy]

im sure the rest of the day is still available but killing myself over the fact that the one day i have off that its miraculously SUNNY i slept in. like a fucking idiot.

#it does seem like its gonna stay sunny but you never know #really need to figure out why i cant wake up again its so annoying #im the type who thinks if its past 10am the whole day is wasted which is such a shame bc im also the type who just cannot wake up

[astranite]

--whiney rant and vent--- starts at tumblr but descends into my life.

Fucking tumblr!! *grabs tumblr and aggressively shakes it*

Some new hell update has made it so every time I reblog a post, i go right back to the top of my dash and have to scroll half a mile through the posts Ive already seen to get back to the ones i havent yet seen and want to see!! And even with the scroll bar it takes ages and breaks the loading and makes it nearly genuinely unusable!!!

But Im still going to even though it sucks, because tumblr is my designated scroll and look at characters time and be with mutuals. And yes this is a very small whiny thing to rant about, especially given the state of the damn world, but with the rest of my life imploding in many numbered crisises that even one of would be apparently considered a fairly major thing to have to deal with im now realsising because through massive amounts of avoidance id just gone "this is fine" despite being very reasonably banned from the word fine by 5 different people and then me, and then others going 'wow that really is alot' semihorrified, and I awkwardly laugh because i am used to this and its not that bad and whatever stupid shit i tell myself to keep going.

So yes, whining about tumblr because at this point its a load bearing coping mechanism. And its somewhat a last straw because i am barely hanging on as it is but ill deal with this like everything else because there isnt any other options.

#astra stuff #ill survive this i just got to be dramatic about it first #and some of this stuff i dont think im actually being dramatic about because its really not fine #yknow the stressed and terrified with the whole trying to move out and figuring out how possibly can i because at this point i really need #chronic illnesses being chronic annoyingly #trying to hold everyone together and then myself too #dumb panic attacks because im on a hair thin trigger but shrugging them off halfway through because i dont have time nor energy for this #the whole fucking cpstd thing which apparently psychologists dont hand out like halloween candy #so there really is a problem here given meeting the diagnostic critera #and what happened to me being just so incredibly Fine! #you can probably at this point see exactly the reason why i write scott like i do #okay apparently more dumb rant in the tags #and im getting really sick of the goverment social whatever services fucking hold music #plus the daily attempt convince my stupid emotions that nooo everyone does not despise me in particular that doesnt even make logical sense #ugh #cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol #except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade #plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me #god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set #looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u #the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno? #it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control #executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont #wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral #sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive #lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not #forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho #my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly #need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im #dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter #what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by #my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything #interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to #fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i #described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that #idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean #ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said #she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the #parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the #disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage #but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain #just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked #unrelated

[terrorbirb]

Work. God I experience mortification

#totes bro #i thought. i really thought. i hsd hit submit on a project #i had to go home yesterday because a migraine #which is why i messed this up #because i get migraine with really bad aura where i cannot speak #and everything gets jumbled #like i cannot think in words #nor can i really think #I'll do incredibly stupid things like put the stove on without a pot and wonder what I'm doing wrong because im trying to boil water #literally without a pot or water. just the stove on #i cry a lot because i forget where i am and cant figure it out even when I'm home #my body feels like its moving through styrofoam whenever i move its like crunchy imaginary styrofoam #i blink uncontrollably #i was told i should go to a neurologist because they could be the kind with mini strokes #anyway!!!! i keep submitting projects late #im impressively good at doing the work but abysmal when it comes to submitting projects but this time there is a reason

[caffeinatedopossum]

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*) #they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person. #but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep. #sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me? #i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them. #trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

[skunkes]

How do you feel about Dungeon Meshi (i think i spelt that right) getting more popular? I feel like i’ve only seen u post about it but now its popping up a lot more on my twt / tiktok

Mixed feelings! Glad it has an anime now and that ppl are enjoying it, because its really good!

I myself think its annoying when ppl are like "im gatekeeping x media bc its important to me 😡" so thats not how I feel on the other end. It has impacted lots of ppl so if it can get a bigger reach and impact more, thats good. ^_^

if i did not have the time or energy or resources to read it, I would've hated feeling alienated just bc it became a favorite media of mine after the anime came out

Its more like. Idk.

I know ppl who hope it gets Bigger for more official merch but I just don't want it to get Embarrassing ykwim.

I need it to not get so popular that in a few years I'm hiding the volumes from my shelf because its an embarrassing, beat to death thing thats present in every store, backpack, socks, sweater that looks like characters clothing, funko pops, etc. something i cant even enjoy anymore bc its been wrung dry and overexposed and misinterpreted, "of course u like it EVERYONE likes it!" and now I'm tired of it, and wouldn't want ppl to associate me with it LOL 🧿🧿🧿

#anonymous #skunk mail #its like how i do enjoy jjba but id never wear merch out bc what if some fandom poisoned man makes a kakyoin doughnut #joke to me. which happened in college when any mention of it came up #or like how. (insane evil hater mode) when i see people really into BNHA or SNK still im like 😬 #can u imagine if those were somehow your favorite series' in the past and now someone who doesnt even go there feels weird about it For You #when you mention it being your fave. LMFAO. i recognize that'll happen regardless due to ppls tastes but ykwim!!! fandom poison!! #the subreddit has already started with unfunny memes 😭 #AND already started with ''um but my shipping??? my Het shipping why no het people shipping?? why no het Canon ship??'' #ok this is the other hater part that sounds like the ''im gatekeeping this thing thats already popular 😡'' crowd #and im already sorry for the wording im gonna use but you KNOWWWWW the type. #i need it to not ever be on the list of anime that harry potter GOT loving normies my age list as their fave 😭😭😭 #SORRY. this is why i cant interact with jjba bc i know my harry potter loving old friend's husband loves it #or like how my friends boyfriend balks at any mention of ''gay shit'' in it. YKWIMMMM. DONT LET IT GET THIS COMMON #we cant let it get to ''i love marvel movies disney harry potter GOT and [ANIME]!'' status 😭 SORRY. #I need it to get so popular they release a thistle figure im already saving for just in case. But not marvel funko pop lover popular. 😭

[arielluva]

my skulltimate secrets clawdeen came in yesterday and im obsessed with her,,,,

#monster high #i really want to get the others but 1. no money and 2. draculaura doesn't ship out until like june on amazon #well i guess this gives me more time to figure out which ones i want since i just knew i wanted clawdeen and draculaura but now i also #cant decide between cleo or lagoona.... sigh #also idk why clawdeen looks so goofy in the pictures i take of her but im gonna irrationally blame it on my middle school phone #she is prettier irl but sadly this k20v lg camera doesn't really help

[lynxalon]

gamers i feel fuckennnnnn terrible ✌️

#hm. #like. this particular situation feels hopeless like i cant salvage anything #its like when glass cracks and u know its broken and dangerous and all it would take is one lil push #and itd just fall #like. i always wanna be someone who tries but. i always try until im raw and bleeding and worse for it #theres trying and theres not knowing when enough is enough and i just dont know where the line is between that #is it really unsalvageable or do i just not wanna hurt over this any more #i know im cared about but. theres one person who i wish cared more. who i wish didnt say things and promise things #because now that its later down the line its clear none of that meant a thing which is exactly what i said then #promises like that dont last. especially from those with commitment issues. i would know. #its why i dont make those kinds of promises. only very rarely. and now im gonna be made into a liar #promise breaker. i hate that #i keep complaining about this and. i keep giving myself a few days. a week. over and over. #'maybe it'll change when my heads clearer. maybe i'll feel differently later' #and tbf i do for a bit. but it doesnt last. it lasts for less time each time i try that #im still mad and upset and hurt #i'll figure it out but. why me. why does this happen