#who are you even asking permission from?

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them

#caique posts #inspired by a post a trans guy made asking if it was okay for him to keep identifying as a lesbian even though he’s now a man #and all the comments telling him no because lesbians can’t be men #and also all the other posts of people asking if they’re ''allowed'' to use certain labels #why do you need permission? #who are you even asking permission from? #we’re not cops #do whatever you want forvever #also inspired by an article in a zine in the 80s/90s of two FtMs in a T4T relationship #one of them described the relationship as being between a butch and his sissy boy #i cannot ever imagine anyone calling themselves that nowadays #because of ''only lesbians can be butches'' and ''sissy is offensive'' discourse #i’m sure there are people out there who would want to describe their relationship like that but don’t feel they’re ''allowed'' to #anyway lots of baby queers are tying themselves in knots trying to figure themselves out #and they’re more concerned with using the Correct™ label instead of the one they feel most comfortable with #yeah i just don’t like it #knowing you’re queer should be a liberating feeling #instead of something anxiety-inducing because you’re worried if you’re using labels wrong

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Aw! XL cooking reminded me of when I was working with children and they'd get nightmares/scared of monsters, so was go to the garden and make Monster Soup! Anything that looked good would go into the nearest source of water (often a bird bath) so that the monsters would know we are kind people and stay outside and not come inside. Also the monsters would think of us as friends and protect us instead of scaring us. Now I'm hoping that I have turned any of these kids into bad cooks bc I was like that flower looks good! Toss it in! 😅😄😄😄

Thank you for reminding me of this memory!

I'm-In-Love-With-The-Monster Soup.

#tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #ask #This story was extremely sweet thank you so much for sharing B'*) #I also used to work with kids and I really miss it!! This brought back lovely memories for me as well. #I am sure you helped a lot of kids through rough feelings by taking them seriously and letting them grow by confronting their fears. #Monster soup is something I am going to be thinking about for a long time.... #If anything; experimenting in the kitchen and feeling the permission of freedom to cook helps encourage kids to learn! #even if its a pretend kitchen. A birdbath is just as valid as a soup pot! #Comic-commentary time: I am so sorry to people who didn't know or forgot that this is how I draw the TGCF pair. #Xie Lian actually tried to make a sandwich but it got to wet so he had to put it in a bowl. #no one knows where the green colour came from. #One more comic on this coming tomorrow (what have WWX and HC been up to?)

[ramyeonguksu]

MMMFNFJJDDJDDJDJDJD RAMBLING IN TAGS

#ramyeonrambles #okay so someone dm'd me asking for a charm commission and they started it off like i love your fe3h ocs! #and i was like omg thank you ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY NAME DROPPED MY BLUE LIONS BOY WHO'S BEEN LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT #but then??? they were like “ive been using them as npcs for my fe3h ttrpg!” and i was like #excuse me WHAT #they never asked me for permission??? #and honestly callahan is a shallow character because i never fleshed him out that much #but Hillevi is very complex #has Many Thoughts about the emotional baggage she carries #and i dont really share as much as i could #so for all i know she could be misinterpreted AND I AM NOT OKAY WITH THAT #i asked them to remove them from the campaign but hhhHHHH #they didnt even bother asking me for permission... i just... why... #theres a lot of parts about hillevi i dont talk about #especially how she feels about her relationship with ferdinand and house aegir as a whole because of her father #so like... hjfjfjdkd im just AAAAAAA

[fauvester]

I guess one fringe bennie of having RLS is that my calves are very swole... wake up every other morning wondering why my legs are sore before remembering the 100 toe lifts and 200 leg lifts and stretch routine i did to trick my lower extremities into thinking that its bedtime

#over the past year its been increasing its territory from thighs down to calves #thankfully calves are easier to target with exercises. so its nightly toe lift and stretch time baby #my swole ass legs and weak ass upper body #my life #yes i have had all the blood tests yes i take iron even tho im not anemic yes i have a very strong genetic predisposition #yes it is incurable and only gets worse (just like misophonia :') ) #the only good medical cure that's not heavy duty antiparkinsonian drugs are controlled non-BDZ hypnotics.. and we'll see if my psichiatrist #is Willing to Prescribe me 10 (TEN) sonatas as my nuclear option #'sorry these are controlled medications' 'MAAM YOU ARE LITERALLY THE ONE WHO CONTROLS THEM. LET ME HAVE THEM!' #i am not above asking my boss permission to just prescribe myself some. up at 2am sobbing worst leg pain of my life ass

[izzy-b-hands]

Cancelled the in person interview for today after discussing phone interview with Mum and Housemate last night (and the numerous red flags and cost of the lyft there and back for a job that ultimately the place wouldn't be able to convince me to take if offered, bc the general consensus was 'this is literally likely to be as bad as the current job BUT with the added cost of lyfts back and forth that they wouldn't be paying enough to offset, why on earth would you (me) take this job lmaooooo')

Which works out good bc the ongoing Mum trauma stuff is hitting hard as soon as I've woken and maybe I can get the Big Cry out today. Or write down any of the memories that have been playing on repeat in my mind

(with all this said, yes, I still asked and do legitimately care abt my mum's opinion and experience with jobs despite this; yes it feels weird; no I don't know how healthy that is or not lmao but I'm gonna lean towards Not Healthy bc im discovering that the work my previous doc did certainly uncovered this codependency and trauma which absolutely was a great help but like...we didn't actually really untangle any of it so I could try and untangle myself from my mum, even from 1600+ miles from one another. So. probably not healthy.)

#text post #Housemate was the far more helpful one of ae and mum tho and im very grateful ae took the time to talk over the interview with me #to help me figure out if doing the in person was worth it #mum did kind of help in that she pointed out several dakota eye like red flags from the employer that in retrospect yeah #were flying right in front of my face but i just. want to find better work so it's hard to ignore the red flags sometimes #until someone else goes uhhhhh hey maybe not this job no matter how desperate you feel #which is what it boiled down to more or less in discussion with both of them last night #it's just a weird thing of mum was still helpful and im glad i had a call with her but also it was low key triggering #and part of me wants to call her back and ask if she knows that she's a major part of why i struggle to say no to anyone #who feels even vaguely an authority figure over me no matter what my feelings are or if im being hurt #because id rather be obedient and pleasing than independent and honest (& possibly disappoint ppl with the latter) #but let's be real she wouldn't have an answer. it's beyond her to even think of this stuff #she'd be upset and offended and I'd be groveling like usual to try and make up for daring to question any part of our relationship #the same groveling i do on autopilot for any potential offense because it doesn't matter even if i asked & was given permission #im still always finding there's something i need to ask her forgiveness for anyway #but i love her and am incredibly grateful for her and how much she's given of herself to me as a single mum #idk im gonna shut up abt emotions for now and figure out what on earth im doing with myself today

[maaaxx]

Introduced my mom to the concept of individuality and autonomy 4 dead 1 injured

#wasnt even about me its about my brother #ny brother (L) bought his girlfriend a really nice promise ring #my moms mad that she wasnt told that he was getting it for her #me:its not your relationship theres no reason for him to ask or inform you #her: its disrepectful #me:its really not #her: hes my son i have a right to have a day of who hes committed to #her: especially more than *Ls girlfriend* #me: L is his own person neither you or his girlfriend have a right to him #*chaos ensues* #i told her one time that if i ever get married and my spouse asks her permission for an engagement and i found out #it would be an immediate no from me #you would have think i told her i shot her husbanf #asking someone elses permission to marry me feels disrespectful towards me #like im my own person and no one whose not in the relationship should be involved in our decisions #apparently thats controversial in my family #my other brother *N* butted into the conversation and shes mad at both of us now #along with L and his gf #and my other other brother *J* tried to state his opinion but hes like 9 #max thinks shes relevant #should i be telling tumblr about my family issues #? #probably not #do i care? #not really

[mantisgodsdomain]

The greatest curse of Us, without a doubt, is the... us-centrism of the fact that we are Us and no one else. Our view on the world is limited and we are frequently subject to the logical fallacy of The Curse Of Knowledge and we're even more frequently beset upon by the fact that some people, like, are Genuinely Averse to depictions of things they've Dealt With themselves.

Like, what do you mean you're talking about this thing as a reason that this media sucks? What do you mean you actively avoid media that depicts things you went through? Do you not gain that feeling of connection from watching people go through something similar to what you did? Do you lack the feelings that are so easy to conjure up in a strong way from seeing a character dealing with the Same Damn Shit? Do you not look at art to feel things?

#this is a very long winded way to say that we got a media recommendation from a callout post again #we speak #“this media contains depictions of medical abuse and nonconsensual surgery and it puts heavy emphasis on these things” #“it highlights this transplanted thing and the difference from his body constantly” #and we're nodding along like “oh yeah sounds awesome” #and then they hit us with “i don't know why they thought this was appropriate for a family friendly franchise" #“other than the sheer ignorance of the developers about disabled peoples' medical experiences” #like HUH??? WHAT??? do you think that people only include fucked up shit that also happens to real people out of ignorance??? #like. even ignoring the obvious “people can create depictions of real and fucked up stuff and that is in no way inherently bad” thing #have you never seen half of the family friendly things in the past decade? did you not read books as a kid? have you never revisited like #any kind of childhood books or games or movies or anything??? #theres fucked up shit in kids media all the time! we'll go so far as to say that there should be MORE fucked up shit in kids media #because you need! to actually learn shit exists and figure out how to deal with it! and the earlier you can figure it out the better! #and even ignoring that like. its an AUTONOMY ISSUE. which is the one thing that kids will probably be able to connect to best! #because the single problem that kids and disabled fucks like us have in common the most is lack of autonomy! #a kid will be able to understand and connect with this issue because they have spent their lives surrounded by people #who sign them up to have things done with their bodies without first asking permission from them #who will have things done for them because they're kids and in their eyes cannot be trusted to make decisions of their own #even ignoring that disabled kids exist too and will be able to understand like. most of them will be able to recognize that kinds thing #theyre kids. they arent stupid. they can see this and relate to it as having problems Like Them but slightly more exaggerated #and maybe we're a bit opinionated about this but like #we're disabled! every word on this screen only makes us want to check this out because hey! sounds like the kind of shit we'd like! #we are VISCERALLY FAMILIAR with the kind of shit that people go through because guess what! we've been in the pits too! #we can appreciate the content warning for what its worth but the tone and the way youre saying it is just #look. we're sorry you didn't like it. different strokes for different folks and et cetera. what can help one person can harm another. #acting like medical abuse is a subject that should never be depicted in media for anyone but Mature Adults(tm) or whatever is just #bad #not to have opinions on childrens media but LACK of disabled people and such in media very much fucked us up more than them existing #let the kids have their medical abuse narrative and maybe itll give them a point to connect or get through something of their own #because let us tell you. having points to compare to? having even a fictionalized depiction to relate to?

[mediawhorefics]

hello marie, hope ur okay! so, there’s this girl on Wattpad who’s claiming that she finally got your permission to translate tts, is that true or… she’s just lying ?!

https://www.wattpad.com/1318890612

why can't these people just leave me alone?

#in case y'all were wondering this is a big part of why i don't write hl anymore #i know it's not fair to the majority of people who are so lovely and encouraging and respectful and supportive #but this kind of disrespectful shit started in the early pandemic when i was really depressed and uninspired and i was started to feel less #interested in 1d cos nothing was happening #and i can't even begin to tell you how it felt... to already feel so low in personal life and then to see the way my work was treated...... #it really changed my relationship to this fandom. in bad ways. #and ik im prob. gonna get some anon saying im annoying for complaining/that theyre glad im gone or whatever mean shit i always get when im #being honest about what it felt like to be a creative person in this fandom #but whatever this is my blog and some of the people who steal others' stories should know how it feels #and it feels like shit #about me #i have like... a message from that person from like... last friday ?? asking permission #and i didnt reply cos i simply did not see it #cos i dont open wattpad #unless someone sends me a link to a stolen copy of my fic #idk when they started posting maybe they did ask first #but still #its written in my ao3 profile #its written in the tts author's note #its fucking written on my twt profile #i dont know how much clearler i can make myself #idk maybe im a bad person their message says theres a revolution in iran and thats why i should say yes... idk

[istadris]

A recurring theme of our Wildemount sandbox campaign seems to be "we're here to kill that undead creature responsible for several deaths/poisonings/holy site desacration but they greeted us politely and are chatting amiably after we kicked down their door so we're not sure how to proceed without looking like murder hobos"

#dnd #dnd adventures #Ailes du Sud #one of them even saved us from the awkwardness by going ''look we both know why you're here so let's cut to the chase #another basically sent us home with gifts and asked us to close the door on the way out #do the dryads doing necromantic rituals who gave my druid a free buff count ? #the latest one all but went ''you waltzed into OUR home without permission. isn't that rude?'x #''well we're here because people got murdered'' ''why yes they were intruders'' ''it was the GUARD''

[romance-incubomp3]

I think it kind of clicked with me that the reason I would always feel so distressed and anxious in response to other people being. distressed and anxious. was that those situations are high risk for emotional intimacy. I always thought it was hyperempathy because I was like “okay, I’m feeling distress in response to this person’s distress, I must be absorbing their emotions” while in reality it was “this is a situation where you’re supposed to comfort and be emotionally supportive and compassionate and I Can Not Do That” therefore all my panic attacks were a result of me feeling trapped and intruded upon and feeling forced into an intimate and vulnerable situation, not because I was actually feeling the other person’s emotions lol. it was always my extreme aversion to emotional intimacy and closeness, not empathy

#it seems from what I’ve observed there’s two camps of low empathy people: #people who are like ‘you can vent all you like! I don’t feel your emotions so it won’t affect me!’ #and people who are like ‘oh god this is so uncomfortable what am I supposed to do with this’ #I am #100% the latter #I do not like being vented to especially when people don’t even fucking ask for permission

[dbphantom]

"all the people who like Charlotte didn't watch the show and are misogynists"

Can't believe I just had to see this take with my own eyes but that's what I get for following the main tags instead of my trusted mutuals

#Cruddy rambles #Listen. Yeah. She got hit with the villain beam in the latter half. But honestly? Valid of her #They treated her like shit the entire first half of the season #Lewis included. She was constantly pushed aside and treated like crap by Cleo who *BROKE UP* WITH THE GUY CHARLOTTE HAD A CRUSH ON #Lewis constantly ditched her. The girls hurt not only her BUT TARGETED HER MOM DURING A WORK EVENT #Yeah honestly she went too far in the latter half of the season but she doesn't deserve the hate she gets #And she didn't deserve what the writers did to her #Remember how she *specifically* asks Cleo if she can spend time with Lewis and Cleo goes 'yeah no problem' #And even after getting her powers and probably realizing what they did to her and her mom she STILL tries to be friends with them #And is treated like absolute shit #'she's so reckless she's using her powers in public' HELLO?????? YOU DO THAT EVERY EPISODE??? #You guys almost got Lewis arrested because he had the gall to- let me check- accidentally get the job CLEO GOT HERSELF FIRED FROM #But no *Charlotte* is the one who deserves all the hate in season 2 right /s #Yeah sorry I hated her when I was like 7 because I was SEVEN. And then I got older and realized how horribly she was treated #And how horribly the writers took her character and shoved it into the role of a villain #Her character genuinely did not deserve what she got handed but honestly. She deserved a little vengeance. Seriously. #After what they did to her mom... I would be fucking pissed too. After how Cleo was nasty to her after BEING GIVEN A GIFT. I would've never #Forgiven her. Charlotte was so much nicer than she could've been and she was STILL pushed out of the group #She even took Cleo aside to apologize and ask for permission to go after Lewis WHICH CLEO GAVE. And then STILL treated Charlotte like garbo #Sorry I just. Wow. It's what I get for following the main tags I guess but. Wow. #Like yeah sure hate on Charlotte for doing what the girls have been doing for an entire season and a half but openly #I guarantee if the girls did the exact same things Charlotte did it would've been framed in a Girl Power light and you would've ate it up #Locking Charlotte in a flooded room? Haha Cleo and Emma giggle to themselves while they walk away and music plays. Hashtag girl power. #All the times Cleo uses her powers to dunk on Kim I don't hear anyone talking about. #It's only ever when Charlotte does it. Because the show frames it as being bad. #Use your heads guys. Come on. #Yeah she messed up a few times. But so do the girls??? And they're constantly forgiven. Charlotte is never given that opportunity. And why? #Because they needed a villain. that's why. That's the only reason why. #She's held to this standard that nobody else in the show is. #You want a good villain to hate? Hate Dr. Denman. Hate Sophie even. But Charlotte? She didn't deserve any of that.

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

Call centers for URGENT CARE AND HOSPITALS are hell on earth

I think talking to the wall might bring better results

#they keep telling my nana to drink her meds #after she told them numerous times that she reguarly does and they dont help now #then they tell her that she could come #but not rn but she can call in the morning and see when she can come #its evening rn and she already called this morning #they cant send anyone to her house bc they dont have the permission from her doc who is not there atm #which like when the fuck does that man even work then??? #cause he wasnt there this morning #he wasnt there this evening #so she can hope he is there tomorrow and call him and ask him to allow them to come to her home and do a SIMPLE CHECK UP and take her blood #also told her she is being paranoid multiple times #this woman waited weeks for her meds to work again #is in pain all the time #but yeah no she is being paranoid for sure #just what the fuck #also i guess we dont have half the machines and scanners we should have #like they told her we dont have an EKG??? #im sorry wtf do you have then #do you just go with the vibes like what???? #i know i am going to rage so hard when i go into my career #and probably cry a lot because i cant imagine being a part of creating a machine that helps detect something with more precision or faster #and then my own country and my own ppl not being able to use it #like i would sob on a nightly basis #and the worst part is i would have no influence over where it sells and for how much #bc i had a very rude wakeup call a few yrs ago that scientist and engineers mostly only create and only a few can choose how it sells #so i cant just be giving it at the lowest price possible like i thought cause it wont be my decision to make🤡 #anyways i went on a tangent i am sorey #vent post

[drill-teeth-art]

Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.

This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.

[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text "Good Bi Gender", the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person's face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: "Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can't call me she/her. And here's why." Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.

Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. "I don't want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon." The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an "X" through it. Text next to it reads: “People don't seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though... Or they think even worse of them than that…”

Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don't like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy... I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I'm still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”

Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It's both! I'm both! They're not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I'm both despite the insistence that I can't be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that's all I will get from most. Because it's "easier". It "makes more sense". To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don't, I will never get to have he.” [The words "she" and "he" are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I'm still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]

Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!

#transgender #trans artwork #original art #digital art #comic