#who cares about me and my interests!

[bbreaddog]

Practising Goncharov Theme by @caramiaaddio on violin bc I thought it would add an extra layer of haunting…ness (is that a word?)

Here’s the excerpt I’m playing in the video:

Despite it being in a fuck off key for violin it is a really beautiful piece and it’s absolutely worth the trouble of practising in second position (world’s most hated position) and I’m HOPING 🤞 I can record and (maybe) post a full cover of it someday

#goncharov #music #violin #goncharov theme #oh man i have not posted my face in a very very very long time #possibly years #am i freaking out about it? a little #could i have converted this to audio instead? #well. yes but. it’s not exactly awesome quality in this practise room lmao #i so so badly wanna write out all the technical things I’m doing/focusing on here bc GRRR TECHNICAL WORK IS SO INTERESTING TO ME #but i would be typing out a whole essay probably and i don’t think my followers really. care that much about violin tech #lest they also play violin #i have one (1) known mutual who plays violin and that’s IT #apologies for the metronome ticking in the video #it can be very irritating to listen to #alas… it is also important for not speeding up when playing #anyways #hi caramiaaddio you don’t know me but big fan of what you’ve written here #ESPECIALLY THE CHROMATIC BITS OUGHHHH #the little semiquavers that poke their heads through like TWICE are surprisingly hard #but also they sound extra creepy in a good way #BIG fan #wait wait WAIT WAIT #i think this is my first time posting any of my violin playing here like. EVER. #I’ve been here for OVER A DECADE #AND I’M POSTING MY VIOLIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. FOR FUCKING. GONCHAROV. #i don’t have the right emoji for how I’m feeling rn #personal #mine #my face

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[bumblingbabooshka]

tags by @frnkiix - nobody sedate this user. This guy gets it. The depths of my very soul have been peered into and succinctly summarized. Absolutely, yes.

#fave #-banging my fist on a table- YES!!!!! #-points upward- THIS!!!!!!!!! #Tuvok #Guy who's used to being part of someone else: Sure I'll do a dangerous mind meld to be part of someone else. For the ship. No I don't care #about the risks. Let me do this. I have to do this. <- The crushing loneliness speaks #is he aware of it?? is it subconscious?? endlessly interesting to me!!

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt "i will NEVER deadname my best friend" of rivia

"he will ALWAYS be dandelion to ME"

#also 'including milva in male costume' goes SOOO HARDDD #everyone say thank you regis for citing a dozen precedents to pull that off. the effect of knowing your herstory <3 #c: geralt #s: i want to be by your side #geralt is like the reverse situation of a transphobe who 'has known you for 20 years so he can't call you something else now' #it's that he has known dandelion for so long that he can't call him anything else but his STAGE / CHOSEN NAME :') #the 'viscount dandelion' is so funny to me #i can accept that he's a viscount but I DRAW THE LINE at calling him by his birth name #milva: 'you can accept that he's a viscount??' #also it's lost in english but that his stage name and birth name begin with the same letter & thus sound. jaskier... julian... #not the 'chosen name starts with the same letter as the birth name' stereotype. and swag #the witcher books #book: lady of the lake #excerpt #one thousand million years ago in posada: #dandelion: 'don't you want to know my name' | geralt: 'but i already know your name. it's dandelion' #dandelion: 'but it's not my real name. don't you want to know my real and famous name' | geralt: 'not particularly' #geralt has the same relationship to dandelion's birth name and viscount status as dandelion has to kaer morhen 💀 #geralt and dandelion are like i don't care who you were back then i cannot comprehend your sad backstory all i care is about who you are no #i think this kind of friendship helped them both slightly detach from their exaggerated levels of perceived self-importance #geralt from his 'woe is me i will never be seen as a normal man' and dandelion from 'im the most interesting man in this tavern' #only SLIGHTLY detach. when they're around each other they temper expectations. but when they're apart it grows back

[caught-the-aut]

Idk how other neurodivergent people with special interests/hyperfixations can infodump about their interests unprompted. I'm like a vampire, I have to be invited to talk about my interests before I ever open my mouth.

#adhd #autism #asd #special interest #hyperfixation #even then I am hesitant because who wants to listen to me say useless facts and observations about the dumbass shit that I like? #i would love to talk about my shows and games and ocs #but literally who cares? #who would ever want to listen to me infodump? #personal

[comradekatara]

if sokka had had slightly more faith in jet during their mission to beat up and rob an old man he would’ve derailed their entire plan after jet made it clear that he has no idea what sokka was talking about when he said “it amplifies vibrations.” he would’ve descended into a longass tedious lecture about wave mechanics and jet would’ve returned to the treehouse with a migraine. but thankfully, because sokka already hated jet and thus simply assumed that jet was incapable of learning basic physics, when jet is like “good trick” sokka just rolls his eyes and goes “whatever.”

#sokka #jet #I wanted to add screenshots of this scene so that people who aren’t as atlapilled would know what I’m talking about #but I can’t be bothered to open my laptop so I’m just gonna assume you’re all familiar with atla 1x10 ‘Jet’ #i think about this moment a lot simply because sometimes I’m just like #‘is claiming that sokka is a physics nerd simply projection….. I mean you don’t have to care about kinematics on a mechanical level to throw #a boomerang…..’ . but then I remember this moment. and I’m like oh right. physicist sokka is CANON #the only way in which im projecting is the fact that I never talk about him being an engineer #because that simply does not interest me #but he would go crazy if someone so much as showed him the electron slit I just know it

[random-human-being2311]

whoopsies sorry there I accidentally revealed how much I obsessively care about my interests, very cringe I apologise it'll never happen again

can we all just ignore that and pretend that it never happened?

#doctor who #queen band #the beatles #six idiots #good omens #classic who #/hj because no it's NOT very cringe I DON'T apologise it WILL happen again but also my brain tells me this on a daily basis and I hate it #as much as my friends reassure me that they care about hearing about my special interests/hyperfixations #being told repeatedly to shut up and let everyone else speak and notice and stop when youre going on about something too much has its toll #that one's ramblings #wait a sec how did I not include nu who #nu who #bbc ghosts #yonderland

[novafire-is-thinking]

Cyclonus is basically every TF fan talking about their favorite war criminals blorbos

#me @ ppl who start discourse about my favs #they’re so pleased with themselves because they think they have the moral high ground by pointing out blorbo’s flaws #but then I’m like: Don’t you see? Idc so much if they’re good or evil. #I care about whether or not they’re interesting #and those ‘horrible’ flaws make blorbo ✨interesting✨ #(to me) #idw transformers #maccadam #tf idw #idw1 #tf idw memes #(sort of) #MTMTE #idw cyclonus

[weirdmageddon]

sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though

#hs #davejade #like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot #“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing #and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key #i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong #but i like davejade for different reasons #in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her #bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot #ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do #and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares #i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic #of care and interest towards each other #hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN #they are Equals #jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol #they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen #remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that #dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity #since space and time are fundamentally related #sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night #ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS #jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients #i should draw them together in that mspa style #maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship #well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic

[sea-buns]

I understand not wanting your party members to walk into a lake and drown themselves but also Laudna has the fuckin WORST bedside manner lol. Yes, your much-needed long rest was just interrupted in a creepy abandoned town where you know weird charm-shit happened and the LAST thing you need right now is for anyone to lose focus. But also "Can you not wait? You can wait 5 minutes." talking to someone who has waited months and doesn't know if their loved one is even ALIVE and has confessed to you how much he misses them and how much it hurts and they could be outside breathing alive right now—

And on the surface, it looks like Chet is enabling a bad decision when he says "You probably heard Dorian. He's probably outside." and yeahh, okay, maybe he is a little bit. But right after that he's about to protest with something about Orym and it's like yeah. ORYM said he heard something. When has there been a time when ORYM heard something, and it wasn't real? How many times has Orym heard something and it's saved our asses? Before Chet is being hit with his own need to check out the lake, he's giving Orym the benefit of the doubt. And while he is an enabler by nature, he's keeping his voice soft rather than his usual, over-the-top "let's fuck around and find out" energy that he brings to dangerous situations like this.

You can't have everyone in the group treating a dilemma with the same amount of sympathy and care. What makes the BH so fascinating to watch is the variation in responses and different ways they interact with each other. You need a balance of someone who will take the cold, unyielding stance against something that is so obviously a trap, and someone that is aware of the risks but willing to speak up for that person and humor them when they're so clearly struggling.

I have a lot of feelings about Laudna and Chetney's instinctual responses and I think both stances are fascinating and they've both shattered my heart to pieces

#chet is very observant with orym and everyone else tbh #and i feel like he always takes care when it counts #im very soft for the father-son bond there #and i feel like when laudna and orym agree and clash flips on a dime sooo often #its very interesting. and laudna i feel is a very decisive person. when she feels some way about something shes very firm on it #and i think orym is too. but most times shes much quicker to be loud and vocal and insistent about it than he is #its fun to watch her oppose him and he have to be like 'ok i guess i have to push this' #and half the time they are ON THE SAME PAGE but its either like one line off or they just totally misunderstanding each other #orym is my boy i spin him in my brain and anyone who interacts with him makes me spin even faster #critical role #c3e86 #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea #laudna #bells hells #not even done with the ep yet but taking advantage of the fact that i can pause and make posts like this lol #during the live its like i save long posts for the end IF i can remember what i wanted to say #if i do it during i do not process the show and miss everything

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

#web weaving #star trek web weaving #st voyager #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder #I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in #but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances) #what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves #and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan #I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa #both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them #But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over) #and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that. #Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in #to that temptation? #They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because #it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven #has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others. #To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who #are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to #for different reasons (captain & vulcan) #they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of #ship and crew safety. #Janeway & Tuvok #star trek voyager #st voy #when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always #have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc. #Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her

[brjeauregard]

Some of you want your favorite characters to have a happy ending, I want my favorite characters to make questionable choices and face the consequences of their actions. We are not the same

#critical role #for legal reasons this is mostly a joke #I do love watching my favorite characters reap what they sow though #I love when a character makes bad or questionable choices #who needs a happy ending when you have a compelling narrative that may or may not end in tragedy #it’s why I love Ashton so much #love me a rock person who is so convinced he’s subverting destiny only to rush headfirst into it #and possibly make the same mistakes as their father #give me a character who is surrounded by people who care about them and want them to succeed #but is so caught up in their own trauma and misery that they make rash decisions and push people away #and I will love them without question #and simultaneously want them to get better and continue making bad choices that make the narrative more interesting

[akai-anna]

I thought it might be interesting to share the process of making this particular piece...🥺

And yes, I do use both sides of the paper. *puts on sunglasses and flips canvas in traditional style*

#my stuff #yeah it's very messy #but i wanted it to be perfect ok? #also perhaps i put way too much effort and thought into it... but who cares when i just wanted to pour all the love and care into this #god you can see all the colour and material testing lmao #also which lines i wanted to use............ #well anyways i love seeing how other ppl do their stuff #and i just wanted to share in case anyone might be interested #the first page is literally just about finding the right reference ksfjgvndfkjvnjkd #i needed a pose to click with #and the rest is fairly... similar... #just detail perfecting ksjdnkjdfnvk #ok i'm done bye for the night #(god now i'M itching to draw... perhaps this weekend...) #(also i want to frame this so bad but haven't got around to that yet shame on me) #(i'm done i'm done i'm really done good night everyone!)

[8amira8]

why is drawing Sabo so difficult

ANYWAYSS here's the silly goobers I love them so muchhbb ARHFHXXMM they are just too cute, they would probably kill me in my sleep but that just makes them even more adorable (aww)

#sabo is my favourite british fella #luffy is too precious #he is not suit for the wilderness #yet he still lives #what an interesting creature #ace is so violent he just like me fr when i was a little toddler when i beat up any guy who had any ounce of attention #the adults would just record me beating them up for chewing on my belongings or something #i dont think they cared about their sons #i still remeber the video of me slamming the drawers while some baby's hand were still in it #core memories #dont worry im normal now (maybe) #one piece #one piece fanart #portgas d ace #portgas d ace fanart #ace fanart #ace one piece #ace one piece fanart #monkey d. luffy #luffy fanart #luffy one piece fanart #Luffy one piece #sabo #sabo One piece #sabo fanart #sabo one piece fanart #asl brothers #american sign language brothers #less gooo

[witherfide]

birth moment

i am. not ready

haha

anyway

just wanted to thank all of the wonderful people that ive met on this platform the last 7 months. i never really thought much would become of me posting my art on here but WOW was i wrong.

the unfiltered kindness/support and lovely people i’ve met on here is something i’m truly grateful for being able to experience. to be able to be apart of such an incredible community really made me feel seen, even if it was only for a little under a year.

with how inconsistent i am, i can only hope that i’ll return with the same passion as i did when i first posted! the interests i have now are.. vastly different (and i have some plans for this year that might get in the way of consistent posts, but we try regardless!)

not sure if i’ll be around for the holidays, so i hope they treat you well. <3

see ya

#scheduled post #urgh cant orchestrate my thoughts properly but #to the people who tag me in funny posts #to the people who listened to my stupid ramblings over stuff that wouldn’t matter in a weeks time #to the people who had fun conversations about their interests and music with me #i thank you for letting me enter your life . even if for just a moment <3 #remember to take care of yourselves #mels art