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shu-of-the-wind · 7 years

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rebelcaptain; foster care au vi

Whoops that took forever.

No particular warnings for this one. Rey’s backstory has been modded for a modern AU,. XD

She didn't think it was going to work out badly, per se, but there's a certain amount of relief in her gut when Rey comes home from the third or fourth meeting of the history club beaming and babbling about a girl named Rose Tico and a museum trip

"Next Saturday," Rey says, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Jyn, struggling with the zipper of her jacket, grunts. "Can I go?"

"Which museum?"

"African-American History." She bounces some more. Out of the corner of Jyn's eye, Finn creeps into view down the hall. He's not been entirely sure what to make of Rey joining the history club--he might like Mr. A's classes, but he's more a taekwondo enthusiast than anything. Actually, Jyn's surprised that Rey is enjoying the history club so much. Rey's the type to take apart toasters and microwaves and put them back together again as her weekend activity, not go mad over old flyers from the Second World War. But still. "Can I go?"

"Are you taking the bus?"

"We're meeting up at the school and taking the metro. Mr. A's coming with us."

"So it's a school trip?"

Rey sucks her teeth. "Sort of? A club trip. But everyone's going. Mr. A says the Smithsonian museums are free, you just have to schedule tickets for some of them a few days before. And I have a metro pass."

Right. Jyn's not much of a museum person. She wins her wrestling match with her jacket, and hangs it, dripping, from the hook next to the front door. "Huh."

"Can I go?" Rey bounces again. "It's with Mr. A. And then Rose and me were talking about going to get food after."

She's thirteen, Jyn thinks. And Rey can take care of herself. Something clutches at her throat, and eases almost in the same moment. "I have a shift at the Cantina until six, if you want to come there after. So you don't have to walk back alone from the metro station."

Rey gives her a look that's altogether too self-aware, for a middle school student, but she just says, "Yeah, okay. Can Rose come?”

Jyn shrugs. "Free country."

"Sweet."

"Let me know how it goes," says Jyn, as Rey darts off.

In the hallway, Finn's watching her with that weird look again, like he's trying to put together a jigsaw with only half the pieces.

The Cantina's kind of a shithole, if she's being honest about it. Not as much of a shithole as other places she's worked in her life--this, for sure, has nothing on the Wobani pub up in Maine--but it's still kind of a shithole, and the people who work there are only granted human status nominally in the eyes of everything holy. Nobody ever slacks off, at least. Maz would have them out on their ass with their spleens crammed up their noses if anybody tried. It makes up for the sleazeballs at the bar who try to palm handfuls of her ass as she goes by.

One more time. She breathes deep, in and out through her nose. One more fucking time--

"Uh-oh." It's Lando, eyebrows arched. Jyn's never been able to decide whether she wants to punch Lando in the face or not. It bothers her sometimes. She ought to want to punch him in the face. "Scowl power at nuclear."

"Fuck off," she says, and in the kitchen, Chewie snorts.

"If it's table six again I can take it."

"I don't need your help," says Jyn. Maz is fluttering around somewhere in the back. Going over supplies, probably. She's not about to get fired for reaming out a customer, especially one that keeps whacking her ass, but she'd really rather not let Maz know what's going on, and Lando will rat her out the instant he thinks he can get away with it. "Go do assistant manager things."

"I'm doing assistant manager things," he says. "I'm making sure our servers aren't being harassed. That's an assistant manager thing."

Jyn rolls her eyes, and jams a plastic cup with far too much force against the soda fountain.

"Jyn, come on."

"It's fine." There's no crack in the cup. Good enough. She sets it on the tray. "I'll deal with it."

Lando puffs out his cheeks, his version of I think you're wrong but I don't want a broken nose. "If you say so. I'm just saying. Intimidation is an option if you want it."

"That I can do all by myself," she says. "Considering your track record."

"That was one time."

"A toddler," says Jyn, and walks off while Lando makes kettle noises.

"You break anything, Erso, you're paying for it!"

She flips him off behind her back.

The Cantina's a place where people pass through, and tonight isn't much different. It's not exactly the kind of place that attracts people from the Hill or any surrounding newspapers. She's pretty sure she served bad bourbon to Jason Chaffitz in disguise once, but that's just something that happens in DC: you never know who you're going to run into that you might see on the telly the next day. Tonight it's fairly quiet: a few businessmen at the back, in one of the booths, making a deal to do with their air traffic control programs or whatever it is Lando keeps blatantly eavesdropping on; a handful of families who went out to the Smithsonian circuit, judging by their new T-shirts; a few locals; the gaggle of Howard Uni students who use the corner table to practice their Spanish conversation and usually bamboozle her with slang she'd be better off not knowing the meaning of. (The last person who openly hit on her, instead of just goosing her ass, wound up with a broken nose and filed a suit against the Cantina. As pissed off as she gets sometimes, she'd rather not have to have Maz settle out of court again because of her bullshit.)

All in all, it's definitely not the worst job she's ever had. In conjunction with what she makes from Mara, repairing cars and motorbikes for men who'd rather pretend a manly man does all the greasy work on their engine instead of a bird with too many scars and a stupid tattoo on her hip of a star, she makes enough. Maybe not quite enough to let Rey and Finn do as much as they want, but enough to keep them all comfortable. It's enough for her.

What do you want to do?

She shakes it out of her head, and snaps back over to table six to glare threateningly with a long knife in her hand. Better to head the bastard off at the pass early, before he decides copping a feel is a little less interesting than trying to pin her at the end of her shift.

The three year old at table thirteen has tossed a handful of salsa at her blouse and she's trying to mop herself up while simultaneously refilling three water glasses when the bell chimes, and Rey's chatter filters in through the rain. She's in infodump mode--about Prey, from what Jyn can tell, she's talking about aliens and weapons mods and that's usually Prey mode--but the girl next to her, a small southeast Asian girl with big eyes and closely bobbed hair, is listening very hard, which is better than anything that Jyn could have imagined. "Excuse me," says Jyn to table thirteen, and then shoves her tray of water glasses into Aphra's hands without a word, beelining for the door.

"Hi," she says, and Rose Tico's eyes about bulge out of her head. Jyn is not about to imagine what she looks like. "You're wet."

Rey shakes her head like a labrador. Water spatters Jyn's service apron. "It's raining."

"I can tell." She sucks her teeth. "Who's your friend?"

Rey blinks a few times, and then it rushes back to her, the social thing. She straightens up a little. "Mom, this is Rose. Rose, this is my mom."

Jyn bares her teeth. "Rey."

"She doesn't like being called Mom," says Rey, and bares her teeth back. "So she's Jyn."

Rose looks about ready to faint, but she steels herself, and says, "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Erso."

"Fuck," says Jyn, "that's worse. Both of you go sit in the back before I vomit."

"She's fine," says Rey, happily. "Cheers, Mom."

"I'm going to dump you off a cliff," says Jyn, "and I'm not going to tell anyone where to look."

Rose's big eyes get even bigger when she takes in Jyn's stained shirt. "Oh."

"Go sit, you yokel, I'll bring you something." Jyn can't help it. She scruffs her hand through Rey's sopping hair, pushing it back out of her eyes. "And a towel. Maz will skin you if you ruin her seats."

"I can't ruin vinyl, that's the whole point of vinyl in a café. Nobody can ruin vinyl with liquid things. Unless it's acid, I suppose." Rey frowns at the salsa stain on Jyn's shirt. "You didn't have that this morning, did you?"

"You think Finn would have let me out of the house if I had?" Finn's as scrupulous about laundry as he is about cooking. One of his old families used to make him do most of the chores. Now he just says it relaxes him. She hasn't pushed the issue, yet. "Go sit."

"Mr. A should be in in a minute," says Rey, and then darts off before Jyn can do more than blink. Rose looks between Rey and Jyn, somewhat bemused, before trailing Rey into the corner. Jyn opens her mouth, and then shuts it again before Lando notices.

You're fucking kidding me.

The door opens. The bell chimes.

Fuck!

She wipes her face clean. She can do that. She knows how to do that. She's known how to do that since she was a child. Jyn breathes, in and out through her nose, and then turns to face him. His hair is wet (though not as soaked as Rey's; Rey had probably been prancing about in the thunderstorm the way she usually did, daring lightning to come after her) and the fabric of his coat is damp about the shoulders, but it's the hesitation that makes her want to spit. He's eyeing her like a cat about to scratch.

"Hi," he says, finally.

Jyn, refusing to be intimidated, says, "Hi."

Cassian awkwardly stands there for a second or two. He says, "I wanted to make sure Rey and Rose made it here all right."

Rey. Rose, too, but more Rey. Don’t make it uncomfortable for Rey. Jyn nods, and pretends that he hasn't noticed the salsa stain on her shirt. She bites the inside of her cheek hard to keep her expression from shifting. He's not supposed to be here. There's a thin, high voice in the back of her head, one that sounds remarkably like a child. He's not supposed to be here. Not without warning.

She shoves the voice into a box, and locks it.

"I don't mean to intrude," says Cassian. He's interpreted her face right, then. Kindly fuck off, Andor. "I didn’t know this was where you worked. Rey didn’t--I'll go."

He's halfway through turning on his heel when Jyn thinks better of it, and rubs at the bridge of her nose. "Rey will be disappointed," she says, and doesn't look at him when he snaps a look at her. "She's sitting at the back with Rose. I'll get you a towel."

"You don't have to," says Cassian, but it trails off in a rather pathetic sort of way as she slams through the swinging doors to the kitchen, and ducks down to get more water glasses.

"Well." Lando leans over the counter, smirking at her a little. "He's cute."

"Fuck off, Lando."

"Ouch. She bites again." Lando lifts his hands. "Don't mean to intrude, Jyn, sorry. Just never figured you for the tall, dark, and accented type."

She's definitely going to hit him. Possibly in the next three seconds. "Fuck. Off."

"Fucking off," says Lando, and swans away whistling, hands in his pockets like he's just scored big in some gambling ring. Scratch hitting him. She's going to take the baseball bat Chewie keeps under the counter, and she's going to use it on the windscreen of his car. Jyn fills three glasses with water, snags a handful of dishrags out from beneath the drink fountain, and hipchecks her way back out onto the floor again, ignoring Aphra hissing "you owe me, Erso," on her way in.

Rey is still talking. She's also stimming, hands flapping back and forth in her happy stim, the one that means I'm excited and I'm going to be talking ten thousand kilometers a minute about this for the next five years. Jyn slows, and watches, for the three seconds she can grab. Rose is still just listening, nodding very seriously as if Rey's imparting the secrets of the universe. Cassian doesn't seem to have noticed, really. He's staring at the menu, and then at the ceiling, and then at the wall, in a show of discomfort she wouldn’t have expected of him. Not after the PTC.

Still. He is in unfamiliar territory.

Something strikingly close to pity swells up her throat. Jyn strangles it with her bare hands.

"Right," she says, and puts the waters down, dumping the whole handful of towels on Rey's head. Rey stops flapping, but to laugh, not to flinch. "Report."

"The museum was good." Rey disappears under one of the towels, and Rose, after darting another shy, confused look at Jyn, filches one for herself. Jyn refuses to watch what Cassian does. "The United States is bollocks."

"You're an American citizen," says Jyn. "Same as me."

"Not originally," Rey says, muffled. "We don't know what I was originally."

"Yes, you suitcase baby. Mysterious sprog, you."

Rose's eyes get very big.

"I was found in an airport when I was six," says Rey, very matter-of-factly. Out of the corner of her eye, Jyn sees Cassian still. "I don't remember anything before then. I think my birth parents must have left me there. They said they'd come back and get me, but they never did."

Rose's hands curl up into fists on the table. With surprising force, she says, "That's horrible."

Rey blinks at her a few times. "You're mad. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Oh." She darts a look at Jyn. It's only after Jyn nods that Rey says, "Okay. Cool."

Rose clenches her fists hard enough to look painful, and then rams right up against Rey's side to peer at the menu on the table. Jyn could cry. Thank fuck. Thank fuck. Thank fuck. It's working. She's not entirely sure Rey's even realized, but it's working. She might have a friend now. Other than Finn. Someone else she can lean on. Thank fuck.

Cassian's still watching her. Jyn can't help it. She catches his eye, and nods once.

He looks at the table instead.

"Museum," says Jyn, and taps at Rey's shoulder. "Good?"

"Horrible," says Rose, not Rey. "People are horrible. But interesting."

"That was the point," says Cassian, without inflection. "History isn't pretty. But it can show us patterns."

"Yeah, you said." Rey looks up at Jyn, and then peeps at Cassian, back and forth. “Mr. A knew more about the exhibits than the museum proctor did. He kept explaining things.”

“Really,” says Jyn, and tries not to feel uncomfortable. “It’s good that he’s teaching you, then.”

“If we go to the Museum of the American Indian for a field trip, you should come.” Rey looks completely blasé, but there’s a hint of—something. Not quite the cunning Finn has, the willingness to sneak. Rey looks schemey. Christ, not both of them. Tell me Rey hasn’t noticed the oddness, too. “You could help.”

“I don’t know if I can get the day off anytime soon.” She refuses to look at Cassian. “I’m going back to the kitchen, for a minute. I’ll be back.”

“’kay.”

She has no shame left, apparently. She bolts.

Jyn’s halfway to the kitchen doors and halfway to freedom when she hears the footsteps behind her. Aphra’s peering at her through the gap in the doors, and she’s laughing, a little, the way she always does when someone else is in for a hell of a lot of shit. “Jyn,” Cassian says, “wait a second,” and she’s not so much of a coward that she can ignore that. Not when it might come down to a fight. She slows, and then stops, and wishes that her shirt weren’t ruined. She wishes that she could run. He looks tired, all of a sudden, and lost, even if it’s just in hints—the lines around his mouth, the hidden tension in his shoulders when he puts them back. Like a soldier, she thinks. Regimented to keep the fear at bay.

“What,” she says, when he stands there watching her for too long. Cassian’s shoulders hitch, just a little. His hands fall loose at his sides.

“I wasn’t planning on organizing the class museum trip for at least another six months,” he says. He’s all clipped, now. “You don’t have to worry. If we need a volunteer, one of the other parents can do it.”

She jerks her chin up, and wipes her hands absently on the apron she has to wear. She can’t remember how they wound up so damp. Words fly out of her head. “Right.”

He hesitates. She can see it in his hands, more than anything. His fingers curl, and uncurl. “I’ll make an excuse to Rey,” he says. “I won’t make you uncomfortable.”

For some reason that, more than anything, is what snags on her temper. Jyn breathes, deep, in and out through her nose, but her control’s already shattered. She snaps, “For fuck’s sake,” and the family that had been sitting at table thirteen, halfway out the door, all yip in unison. Cassian blinks once. “This is stupid.”

“What is?” he says, but his voice is too tight to quite be calm.

“This.” She glances over his shoulder, but Rey hasn’t noticed. She’s still chattering with Rose Tico. “This—stupid dancing thing. It’s stupid.”

Something flickers in his face. She thinks it might be his temper. “I wasn’t going to mention it.”

“You can’t teach my kids if you’re always going to act like I’m about to explode,” says Jyn. “This doesn’t work if we keep doing this.”

“Keep doing what?”

She gestures, pointlessly, at the air between them. “Whatever the fuck this is.”

Cassian’s mouth goes tight. He looks back at Rey, now, too, faster, more subtle. She’d barely notice if not for the fact that he turns away from her to do it. He says, “I wasn’t aware there was an issue.”

“Jesus Christ, Cassian, you’re not stupid.”

Cassian blinks again. It’s different, somehow. Like shock, instead of evaluation. She’s not sure where the difference lies. Maybe in the speed. He swallows, barely visible.

“Look,” says Jyn. She roots herself to the ground, and thinks of Saw, of Steela’s photograph on the mantle. “My kids like you. That--they trust you. They don’t trust a lot of people. I’m not going to fuck up one of the best teachers they’ve ever had because of something that happened years ago.”

There’s another flicker, then, in his mouth. Cassian puts his hands behind his back. “I see.”

“They’re not stupid. They’ll notice something’s up, if they haven’t already. If this—” she jams a fist into the empty space, again “—keeps happening. So it can’t. Anymore. Otherwise they’ll work something out, and even if they’re wrong, it’ll just keep making things worse until we can’t do a damn thing for them, no matter what we want.”

He weighs that, carefully. Cassian looks at her, unblinking.

“Truce, then,” he says, in an odd voice.

He holds out his hand.

Jyn looks at it, at his long fingers and the skin of his palm. She looks up at him, too, and sees a question there she’s not sure she can answer. Still, she reaches out, and takes it, as firm a handshake as she’s ever given in her life. Twice, up and down, and then he lets go first, shoving his hand back into his pocket and watching her like she’s a Rubik’s cube. Like she’s a puzzle to be turned and contorted until it makes sense.

She turns.

“You’re a good mother,” Cassian says. He blurts it, almost. “They love you very much.”

Jyn jerks her shoulder in an acknowledgment, and vanishes into the kitchen. She can’t find the daring to look him in the face. Not after that.

#rebelcaptain #my writing #foster care au

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authorsdenbyorihime-may · 7 years

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How I Write Baybayin (Handwriting and Straight-cut Nib Calligraphy) Subtitle: This is a freaking long-ass post so be warned now

You can read the entirety of this post as is, or you can go straight to the calligraphy portion. It’s at the end of the post (sorry dunno how to link that portion here).

Writer’s Note: First and foremost, I will advise everyone who reads this somewhat master post that I am not an authority when it comes to how baybayin is written, as what you shall be reading is just based mostly on my own experiences on how the characters are written and comparing them with other writing systems that are based on syllables rather than individual letters, like the Japanese Kana and the Korean Hangul, among others. This is because baybayin are not technically letters (individualized, can’t stand alone, only comes either as vowel or consonant but not both, you get the picture), but rather are syllables (i.e. the consonants have free vowels with them lol) that form words.

Also, as far as I know regarding how the baybayin texts are originally written pre-Hispanic colonization era, some of the written texts in the Philippines (or at least, those that survived, or I remember seeing in old history books) were written from right to left, top to bottom. This also coincides with other writing methods in some parts of Asia that also read from right to left. The technique of writing and reading from left to right may be a Western invention, in my opinion so I just did some of the strokes in the baybayin characters go from right to left, except for the straight-cut nib section. Again, I am no authority so I’m just doing what I think makes sense to me, as there is no existing ANCIENT written rules on the stroke order of the baybayin. Other people may disagree with my stroke orders here due to various reasons, but if you’re into what I did then feel free to learn from them, for free. *heart*

This author’s other notes: I won’t be elaborating the history of baybayin here because that would take around (counts how many years I spent in school) 5ever as it basically intertwines with the “current” history of the Filipino people. I put quotes on “current” because every decade or so, some written histories get re-written based on some evidences or what, and I totally respect that. It’s like in scientific papers: legit today, debunked tomorrow. And it’s completely OK, because THE MORE YOU KNOW~

Also this author’s note: I keep calling baybayin alibata, because that’s what they were called when I was a kid and how it was taught by history teachers before the process called “being politically-correct” became the norm. It’s because alibata was supposedly an incorrect term which signifies that the characters were letters based on Arabic, but apparently it wasn’t so.. Yeah. I’m just saying, so the kiddies would know. And if you’re like me who also refers to baybayin as alibata, let’s get a high-five! (Cause you’re also old, but gold =D) Some biased history FTW lol ok let’s get started.

Handwriting Alibata Baybayin Strokes with a Bamboo pen (or Ballpen, or Pencil, w/e floats your boat)

OK, before I start I would be first putting here the somewhat traditional ordering of the baybayin, which is:

A BA KA DA E GA HA I LA MA NA NGA O PA RA SA TA U WA YA

As well as the borrowed/loan syllables (which correspond to C, F, J, Ñ, Q, V, X, and Z were apparently added some 6-7 years ago, in which I didn’t get the memo x__x)

CA FA JA ÑA QA VA XA ZA

OK, now that’s out of the way, it’s time for the actual stuff. For ease of practice and recall, I’m grouping the letters based on how I write them and in turn, their forms. This would make sense as the pictures move along, don’t worry. The forms are built sequentially, I tried making that a bit obvious in the diagrams, but there are red arrows in case I wasn’t that clear. For those that only have one picture or arrows in the sequence, I would be implying that the form is built on a single stroke.

Group 1: A, MA, PA, YA, FA, JA, VA

OK, let’s start with A:

Then MA:

PA:

YA:

FA:

JA:

VA:

Group 2: E/I (more on that later), KA, DA, HA, RA, CA, QA, XA

I’ll start with HA because it’s a foundational stroke:

I looks structurally like E, but only with a vertical stroke on its hat.

It’s because originally, E and I were the same character and whether it should be read as a syllable from the E or I line depends on how the reader would read it and the dialect used in writing the words, like it’s a fill-in-the-blanks kind of thing. It’s also the same with O and U, so if you see that part yeah they look alike. This is also the reason why revisions on writing the E-I and O-U consonants were made, but that would be for a later part. Just be patient for now. =D

Ok, moving on, we’ll go to KA:

DA:

RA:

A short note on DA and RA: In olden times, these two were only one character, and are used interchangeably based on word usage, thus for words such as doon/roon, which both mean way over there one is used for passive and one is used directly (sorry not a speech comm person). This is also the case for marami and ang dami (both meaning “there are many/there is much” but one is active and one is passive. Madami is, IMHO grammatically incorrect. But then again, I’m not a speech comm person so sorry if these are wrong. I’m just saying).

CA:

QA:

XA:

Group 3: O/U, GA, SA, ZA

Just like in E/I, O and U are also structurally similar. To make an O:

To make it a U, just put a vertical line on the right side:

GA:

SA:

ZA:

Group 4: LA, NA, TA, ÑA

I grouped this bunch based on having a downward stroke in the middle of the form. The initial strokes are written as a single stroke from left to right, like in the first group.

LA:

NA:

TA:

ÑA:

Group 5: I have no idea where to put BA, NGA, and WA so I just made a miscellaneous group lol but they deserve just as much love OK?

BA:

NGA:

WA:

How the E, I, O and U lines are written:

In writing E, I, O and U (as in the case for the example below, which is GE, GI, GO, and GU), the original positions of the additional marks (such as the vertical lines for I and U) were kept but in order to differentiate E from I and O from U, the marks were made to be further distinct. For instance, GE is basically GA which has a horizontal line above it, while GI has a dot above it. As for GO, it has a dot below and GU has a horizontal line.

GI and GO can have either a hollowed dot like in the sample, or can also be filled like the samples below. It’s based on personal preference. Also I used G for the samples because it looks nice, fun to write, and most other examples of alibata on the internet use BA as their examples for this portion. Whoops, I meant, baybayin. XD

Vowel Killers: Invented by People who Needed It

I’m not entirely sure why vowel killer was the term used but it does tell it exactly what it does: it silences the vowels in the characters (because baybayin is composed of syllables) in order to make separate letters. It was invented by some Spanish friar who couldn’t properly write the native words because words that have consonants at the end were written incompletely. I.E. the word DOON (over there) was written as DO-O in baybayin. It was such a drag that he decided to introduce the Spanish/Latin alphabet by making baybayin characters that acted as alphabets, which is essentially killing all the vowels and leaving the consonant behind. So instead of using dots, the friar made a cross underneath the symbol which they called a kudlit (for obviously non-secular reasons), so that the words with consonant ends can be written and read as they were. As per the revision that was instated a few years ago, in order to make the baybayin a bit more secular, more forms of the vowel killers were made, which in my opinion look better than the original kudlit, because they look more organic with the forms.

As you can see in the pic of the letter G above, the first on the left is the original kudlit, which is shaped like a cross. The next one has an X, or sinawali (it’s literally based on the patterns of hard, woven rattan walls called sawali which look like X’s), the next one is called a kawil (sorry dunno where that came from) and the right-most one has a pamudpod (which may have come from the word “pudpod/pudpud” literally meaning grinding or repeatedly striking something on a hard surface or on a whetting stone till it disappears or becomes flat/dull, so pamudpod is the surface that makes the item pudpod like a used pencil or eraser. Do I even make sense anymore? Oh well, YOLO).

Stringing them All Together

My personal preference is using a kawil on horizontal writing (left to right) and using a pamudpod when writing vertically. I think the overall impact is better. But then again, it’s just my personal idea. Using any of the vowel killers are, like the filled or hollow dots on I and O are personal preferences, as long as there is consistency in usage.

If you can read the above and understand where the reference came from, you probably also call baybayin as alibata, and we should totally get some tea together. XDD It pretty much means “What is there, yonder?” smth idk but yeah, it sounds like that. Old and formal Filipino/Tagalog.

Langit - sky or heaven, Lupa - ground or earth, Araw - sun, and Buwan (or Bulan in Ilokano) - moon

Soliman - A variant of the name Sulaiman/Solomon

Amihan - the northeast monsoon, the nice wind that brings in cool, dry air around November-March. Or if you watched the old and new Encantadia, she’s the protag. XD

The third sampler is a phrase (I ran out of space it was supposed to be a sentence), and vertical double bars are used to end the sentence. I just made them into diagonal slashes to make them look cool. Also I ran out of space. x__x It’s transliterated as a wailing mom looking for her child: Ai anaku (bunga) - Ah, my child (fruit). No space for fruit so it ain’t there.

Author’s extra rant note: Of course, some early Filipinos didn’t wanna use the kudlit due to being comfy with whatever they had at that time, but eventually they gave in. Fast forward to a century later and the baybayin was pretty much dead, as it was for the next 4 centuries or so. Romaji became the norm (except for some of the native tribes that have their own awesome writing systems), but then again some Filipinos didn’t forget it entire time, as many of the revolutionaries’ battle flags had the syllable KA, which is the first syllable of Katipunan, their group which can also be transliterated as “the entire group of the people who meet and come together”. I can’t say more because this is a long-ass post and it’s not about Philippine history. But we can talk about that if you want. Just hit me up with an ask. Warning though: I might just say “thanks for asking but please ask something else” lol j/k XDD

Writing Baybayin using a Straight-cut Calligraphy Pen/ Dip pens with Straight/Oblique Nibs

For this portion of the post, aside from posting pictures of the baybayin in black and white ink I would be pointing out that the techniques I used here are based on Western traditional calligraphy techniques used by scribes of the past, so some of the stroke patterns would be a lot different from the handwritten strokes above. But then again, if you clicked the link to get here straight away instead of reading the previous portions, well you won’t be having that much problems then. Also I will assume you already learned how to write baybayin so I’ll leave you at that. For the black baybayin, I used a calligraphy fountain pen with a 2mm straight-cut nib from the Visual Deck Set – Calligraphy box, not sure where you can buy it online but I bought mine at the National Bookstore because nobody wants to buy it. (Should’ve also bought the other calligraphy set while they’re on sale. LOL Just saying XDD). The surface is just the back of old calendars because I was just testing the strokes. For the white baybayin, I used a Speedball™ C-2 oblique-cut nib and for the ink, it’s glittery silver poster paint from Reeves™ (diluted with dH2O), and the surface is some random paper with nice surface and sizing which my father got from the office. (Apparently you can’t print anything on it so it aged well there until my father disturbed the papers’ sleep and brought them home. Now I ran out of both the calendar and the weird red paper so business is halted for a bit. XDD) Again, these are all based on how I write stuff so it’s pretty much a personal opinion, it’s not absolute but it certainly works for me so here you go.

Group 1

MA:

PA:

YA:

FA:

JA:

VA:

Group 2:

E/I: I’m just putting I here because E and I basically have the same strokes. To make E, just omit the final vertical stroke.

DA:

HA:

RA:

CA:

QA:

XA:

Group 3

O/U: Same with E/I, I just placed U here because O is practically the same, minus the vertical stroke on the right.

GA:

SA:

ZA:

Group 4

LA:

NA:

TA:

ÑA:

Group 5

BA:

NGA:

WA:

E, I, O, U Lines

Vowel Killers

I didn’t make any full sentences or words because I ran out of nice papers, so maybe I’ll post some next time. Sorry. ._.

Author’s final note on writing using baybayin: I’m still on the fence in using the loan letters C, F, J, Ñ, Q, V, X, and Z because in my opinion apart from having redundancies with some other letters, they were just invented to spell out proper nouns that are foreign in origin. I wouldn’t even spell my full name using baybayin, except my nickname and would just rather use the Romaji/Latin Alphabet for ease. As for using baybayin to write foreign words, well, that can be as tricky as using kana to write foreign words. Both methods boil down to localizing a foreign word into how it would be pronounced based on the original language that the writing system belongs to. For instance, the Japanese waifu (as in “My waifu”) is the Japanized form of the English word “wife”, but because their spelling system is a bit different they had to estimate which kana would be suited to approximate how the word would be pronounced and in turn, be spelled. It is also the same case for some Filipino loan words that got Filipinized (and bastardized because long words are hard lol not kidding tho) such as the word istambay which originally came from “standby” and is now shortened to “tambay” which means “just loitering and doing nothing” or in how the young ones use it now: to hang out with friends (and probably just loiter and do nothing lol don’t kill me ok?). Thus, the usage of baybayin (or kana, or hangul, or Arabic because I think their writing is very lovely or whatever writing system you like that works as syllables more than letters) in writing words from another language would take extra steps such as following the rules of the written language or localizing the word first before writing them in whatever letters or syllables that you want. It’s like using what you have then making do with it/winging it out.

The End!!!! No just kidding. But it’s the last part.

To be honest there are a lot of stuff in the internet about baybayin so I’m not that entirely sure if what I have here is pretty much redundant or not. There are a lot of sites so just use your Googling skills to find what you need, although it may be a bit difficult for readers/users who simply try writing and not understanding the entire language so just use with caution. It’s hard to end up with THAT tough guy who has a kanji tattoo that actually spells “poop” instead of whatever it was supposed to be. I actually saw a guy sporting a tattoo that reads FUUBEN in Japanese, which translates to inconvenience. I lol deep inside but the guy seems happy with that so I just let him be.

Well, I hope this long-ass post helped you a lot, or at the very least the stuff made sense to you and it was worth your time reading. Please leave an ask if you have other questions, I’ll try to answer them if and when I can. Have a great day and may the force be with you. =D

#how to write baybayin #how to write alibata #how i write baybayin #baybayin handwriting #baybayin handwriting stroke order #baybayin calligraphy stroke order #baybayin calligraphy

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cora-theprincessofhearts · 7 years

Note

How did you create Cora?Did you create her specifically for askdescendants,or did you just come up with the idea one day?Was the Queen of Hearts her mother from the beginning?

OOC: I write fanfiction as well as my ongoing eternal novel (a perpetual work in progress), so I’m used to creating characters pretty quickly- it’s like breathing to me. However, I haven’t written any Descendants fanfiction (just Once Upon a Time and a Sailor Moon/Inuyasha crossover; check me out on fanfiction.net as ladykikyo1792. #shamelessselfpromo lol). I had been low key following the AskDescendants group on my personal blog for a while and toyed with the idea of applying, but I didn’t know who to apply as. I loved the idea of being a daughter of Evil Queen or Maleficent (I have SO MANY HEADCANONS for the daughter of Evil Queen), but obviously Evie and Mal exist and are known to be only children. I kind of went through the rest of the Disney villains and was rather underwhelmed. I got to the Queen of Hearts, went “Hmm, haven’t watched Alice in Wonderland in years,” watched it, and then realized that the QOH would actually be REALLY fun to do. She also had the potential to go quite dark, and I really enjoy writing (and as I’m learning, roleplaying) dark characters. So then I tried to come up with a name (because in my not biased opinion [jk, I’m totally biased haha], the Princess of Hearts sounded like an awesome title). Except nothing really went with Queen of Hearts. I hated the name Queenie, and wasn’t a fan of Harley or Holly or Hannah. It just didn’t fit. I do speak some Spanish and the word corazon translates to “heart,” so I ended up adjusting that to be Corazana with Cora getting the nickname of Cora. Long story short, the Queen of Hearts was always her mother. I’m trying to think more specific things as far as how I created Cora…I mentioned I like the idea of dark characters, and I wanted Cora to have some features that set her apart other than just short-tempered (even though she is) or really snobby (which she isn’t), which seem to characterize the Queen of Hearts in Disney canon. When I thought about the fact that the QOH literally enjoys chopping people’s heads off and has zero empathy for anyone, that falls under the category of “psychopath” (without getting into the nitty gritty of psychology here). The King of Hearts seems to realize his wife has issues (to put it politely), as he frequently pardons people she tries to behead and tries to get Alice a trial, so I thought it made sense for Cora to have a touch of psychosis, but not be a full blown psychopath. She can empathize with others, but when she has a “slip,” she can hallucinate and experiences psychotic episodes (psychosis and psychopathy are actually different). And again, I like dark characters, so I loved this idea for her. I also later realized that I subconsciously gave her a condition which marks her as very different…which I sometimes feel like as I also have epilepsy and experience grand mal seizures.The epilepsy thing kind of bled into Cora indirectly as well because I also identified her as a daughter of one of the only powerful villains in canon who doesn’t have “magic,” so I kind of viewed that almost as another thing making her different (mean mun that I am, I accidentally isolated her. Whoops).

Since Cora cannot do magic, I gave her physical weapons instead- although throwing daggers are more practical, I also did a small nod to Alice in Wonderland in giving her a croquet mallet as a weapon. …this answer got way longer than I intended lol. But yeah. So short version: (1) Cora’s mother was always the Queen of Hearts (2) She was created specifically for AskDescendants, and then I decided I wanted an indie blog for her as well (3) I wish I had a better insight as to how I make up characters or my creative process, but I’ve just always kind of been making characters up since the time I was little for books and fanfiction that I write. Any more questions, send them in! I love to gab about Cora XD

#ooc #creative process #do I even have one #Lord knows #anyway I love Cora #queen of hearts #princessofhearts #ask #asks #answered #cora-theprincessofhearts

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galarian-varian · 7 years

Note

For the main four, 6, 8, 10, 19, 20, 25, 27, 33, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41?

6.what is their build?

Ricky is thin, but has basic build muscles (hint of biceps/six-pack), Jazz’s human form has no visible muscle build and is actually slightly chubs, Selena is average I guess, and Macabre is shredded. He’s a buff meaty tall jerk

8.do they like books? if so, how often do they read?

Jazz can’t read lol. Selena reads willingly and enjoys it a bit. Ricky can read, but he gets bored easily/can’t focus long enough on the words on the pages. Macabre can read and would sometimes read, but would rather do other things

10.two or more other fictional characters they’re similar to?

eASY! Ricky is Wander from WOY mixed with Jaune from RWBY, Jazz is Rainbow Dash from MLP mixed with Mushu from Mulan, Selena is a mix of like Hermione Granger from HP and Katara from ATLA, and Macabre is a mix of Zelgadis from Slayers and Oliver Queen from Arrow

19.have they ever been tortured?

Just Ricky and Mac if you could them both having to watch Hex mess with/kill their friends/family :3c

20.what’s the worst thing you’ve done to them without spoiling anything?

I still feel that killing off Macabre’s best friend and older sister, and then Hex cursing him was the worst thing I could do to him XD For Jazz, the worst thing I’ve done to her is have Macabre leave and she becomes a mess then goes blind and then her son dies yay~ Can’t say the worst thing I’ve done to Ricky without spoilers, but for Selena, the worst thing I did for her I guess would be giving her an awful childhood

25.pet peeves?

Selena can’t stand foul smells especially when people don’t shower…I haven’t gotten ones for the others yet whoops :’3

27.an OC they hate:

Ricky hates Blitz, Jazz hates Selena, Selena hates Jack, and Macabre hates Hex ;D

33. introvert, ambivert, or extrovert?

Macabre, Selena, and Ricky are ambiverts I guess? Jazz is extroverted

35.strange quirks they have:

Ricky bites his nails (does this count?), Selena is bilingual (English and Spanish), Macabre is ambidextrous, and Jazz can…idk touch her tongue to her nostrils? :’D

36.any unhealthy obsessions?

Jazz and Ricky have unhealthy peanut butter cup obsessions, Selena is obsessed with oranges, and Macabre really really reallyyy likes cinnamon flavored things

37. Macabre looks like they could kill but is actually a cinnamon roll, Selena looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you, Ricky looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll, Jazz looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you c:

38.how smart are they?

Selena v smart, Macabre is mostly smart in common sense stuffs but he’s got some other knowledge stuff too, and Ricky and Jazz aren’t very smart at all :’D

40.species/race?

Jazz is a dragon, Selena is human/spirit (half Hispanic/half Indian), Ricky is human (Scottish and Norse), Macabre is a human (German descent) cursed to be a chimera-person

41.cat or dog person?

Ricky and Mac are dog people, Selena and Jazz are cat people~

#asks #ocs #read more

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krysrawfiggs · 7 years

Note

1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*

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shu-of-the-wind · 7 years

Text

rebelcaptain; stranger things au

A random snippet from another AU being built. Whoops, I had a feel.

I hereby apologize for my butchering of the Spanish language; I gave it my best attempt with only six months of grammar under my belt.

CW: Injury panic attacks, vomiting.

(Jyn and Cassian are college students in this, not high schoolers, so there’s that context. I dislike writing high school age stuff, I’m sorry. XD My mid-twenties ass is like six years out of date with that shit and I was never good at it even as a teenager anyway.)

(CASSIAN HAS FLATLINERS!DIEGO HAIR FOR THIS DON’T LOOK AT ME)

They're shivering by the time they get back to the apartment Cassian shares with Kei. Kei isn't there--who knows why; she's just relieved there's no one there to comment on the stickiness in her hair and the tears in her jeans and the blood on her knees and the split in her lip. Cassian locks the door, flicks on the entryway lights, and then says, "There are towels in the closet."

Jyn blinks at him. She's shivering, and she's not sure if she can remember when she started. "What?"

Cassian peers at her through his hair, and shifts his bag onto the floor. It lands with a clatter. The camera he puts down much more gently. "If you want to shower," he says, "there are towels in the hall closet."

She blinks again, slowly. Jyn says, "I don't have clothes here."

Cassian doesn't flush, or twitch, or anything. He just shrugs. "You can borrow some."

She turns that over in her head, and twists her hands together to try and stop them from shaking. She doesn't move. Finally, Cassian rests a hand to the small of her back, and nudges her deeper into the dark apartment.

There's a bicycle crammed up against the wall of the living room. A couch bed sprawls in the middle of the floor, sheets and blankets tangled at the end. The TV's dark, the antennae all askew. Cassian turns on the light, and then prods until she follows him, past a closed door--"Kei's room," he says--and to the bathroom, a towel snagged out of a closet on the way. He turns on the light in there, too, and then offers the towel to her. Jyn shuts the door without a word, though she's pretty sure she should say thank you. The bathroom smells of rough soap and shaving cream and something like Cassian, spice on the verge of capsaicin. It's the shampoo, she finds, when she opens the bottle. There's no label. He's peeled it off for some reason. It's only then she sees her reflection in the mirror. Her hair's hanging around her face in great matted swathes, woven together with something close to spider's webs. There's a smear of something black on the underside of her chin. Her split lip is puffing up, and the remnants of her bloody nose have left crackling bits of blood on her lips and cheeks. Jyn yanks the tie out of her hair, and strips out of her clothes so fast she tears her jeans open again, leaping into the shower before the water can heat. She doesn't like the look of the girl in the mirror. Her eyes are too big and glassy to be real.

Cassian knocks halfway through, leaves a bundle of clothes on the sink. When she does, finally, feel clean enough to turn off the water--after she's used half the shampoo, finished off the last of the soap, scrubbed her mouth out with it and vomited once down the drain--Jyn realizes that she's still shaking. She hasn't stopped since the opening in the tree had closed up. I'm not scared, she thinks, and watches her fingers tremble. One of her nails is split to the quick. I'm not scared of it. I'm not.

Bodhi. Bodhi. Bodhi.

There had been no answer.

All the lights are on when she creeps out of the bathroom, toweling her hair, swimming in a T-shirt that's been neatly mended at the collar. She thinks he's left, at first--he isn't in the kitchen, or in the living room--but then the door to Kei's room opens and Cassian slips out again, still in his jeans and jacket. He stops at the sight of her, blinking, and Jyn realizes he's tied his hair back. She can't remember ever seeing him do that before.

"Hi," he says, after a beat. He's holding some blankets in his hands. "You okay?"

Jyn keeps rubbing the towel over her hair. She says, "Yeah."

Some of the tension leaves his shoulders. The corners of his lips lift, and then dip again. He looks down at the blanket, and then says, "If you want, there's a washer-dryer downstairs."

She wants to throw her clothes in a fire. Jyn says, "Maybe."

Cassian doesn't move. Jyn drops down onto the edge of the couch bed, because there's nowhere else.

"You can sleep there," he says. "I'd take Kei's room, but he's a bit--I'll just sleep on the floor."

She stares at her toes. The polish is almost gone, now. It's almost like a fever dream to remember it was there at all.

"If you want to stay," Cassian says, softly. "If you want to go home--"

"No." She scruffs the towel over her hair again, more to hide her face than anything. There’s a hole in the wall that led to a hell-dimension. It’s not home. "Not tonight."

"Okay." There's a rustle as he drops the blanket on the floor, in a bundle with a pillow at the head. "There aren't extra toothbrushes or anything."

"I washed my mouth out in the shower." He probably heard her puking suds, come to think of it. "I'm okay."

"Okay." Cassian's quiet, just for a second. "Jyn--"

She looks at him through the curtain of the towel and her hair, and he stops. Whatever he was going to say seems to vanish, because he stands there for a second in silence, barefoot even with his jacket still on, before he finally says, "The neighbors have a parrot. It screams at five in the morning."

There's nothing she can say to that, really. "Okay."

"Okay," says Cassian.

She rubs at her hair with the towel.

"Do you want me to leave the lights on?" he says, and Jyn stops moving. He says it so carefully that he must be weighing every single syllable, and he's watching her with that careful neutral face, like he's judging a photograph and not a real person. She wants to snarl at him. I'm not a child. I'm not afraid of the dark

--bark under her fingers--

"Yes," she says.

"Okay," he says, and vanishes back into Kei's room to get more blankets.

She's nearly scrubbed her scalp raw again by the time she finally gives up with the towel. Cassian slips a comb onto the bed next to her without her quite noticing, and won't look at her when she realizes it's there, so she attacks the knots with about as much delicacy as she'd use with a leg of lamb, yanking hard enough to sting. By the time she's done with that, he's changed clothes, leaving his jacket on the back of the single chair (in the dining area, which is almost close enough for her to touch) and he's fidgeting with the knobs of the television. He can't seem to decide whether he wants it on or off, if he wants to sit or stand, watch or pace. He's jumping between every option, and if she weren't so focused on her hair she might have chucked a shoe at him by now. When she's finally finished, and there's nothing left for her to do with her hands, she folds her legs up underneath her. "Cassian."

He watches her out of the corner of his eye.

"Bodhi's in there." She has to make herself say it. "In that place. He has to be."

He's probably dead, says the part of her that Saw cherished, the hard, uncompromising logical part that she thinks came from her mother. The part of her that's Galen says No, no, I would know if he were dead, I would know. She has to think that. If not, then--

Bodhi. Bo.

Cassian hesitates. The couch bed creaks when he sits down next to her, too far to touch. "We'll find him, Jyn."

She looks at him, and then stares at her hands.

"Jyn." A finger brushes against her forearm. When she looks up again, Cassian's shifted, facing her. "Bodhi's not stupid. If he's survived this long--" and for a sudden blazing moment she could kiss him, because he's not giving her false hope the way anyone else would "--then it's because he's figured out a system. We're going to find him."

She knits her hands into the flannel pajama pants, and blinks her vision back to how it ought to be.

"Try to sleep." Cassian unfolds himself, shuffles with bare feet away from the couch bed. He settles on the floor. "If you can."

"I won't."

"At least try."

There's sense in that. Still, she can't stop shivering. Jyn drags the blankets around herself, and sits there, staring at the dark screen of the TV.

Blood. It's attracted to blood. And it comes through walls. What is it? Where did it come from? A monster with no face, with flesh that folded away from its head like the petals of a flower, jaws like a starfish and a smell like rotting flesh, like sepsis. That's what's hunting Bodhi.

You're not safe, he'd said. Nowhere is safe.

She shuffles off the bed, and turns on the TV. The sound rattles at her teeth. It's only after she's found an infomercial for vacuum cleaners that she pushes herself back onto the couch bed, all the way up to the head, and curled on her side with her head on the pillow. She can just barely see Cassian on the floor, even with all the lights on. The angle is wrong for her to make out anything other than his shoulder, and a bit of his hair.

"Did you see it?" she says.

Cassian's silence is enough.

"We have to kill it." Jyn draws her knees up to her chest. "We're going to kill it before it can kill him."

"Yeah," says Cassian. The man selling vacuums on the screen says something about fifty percent off before November tenth. "Okay."

She can't get her hands to stop shaking. They just won't. Jyn crams them into her armpits, and squeezes her eyes shut.

"I have a knife under the pillow," Cassian says.

"What?"

"There's a knife in the arm of the couch. Behind the pillow." He clears his throat. "If you need it."

Jyn props herself up on her elbows to look at him. He blinks at her, slowly. He's flat on his back, hands folded on his chest, hair splayed over the crumpled pillow like shadow, and the bruise on his cheek from Han's punch looks livid and fresh in the bright light of the living room. It only happened two days ago, she thinks. Han punched him two days ago.

"Get in the bed," she says.

Cassian blinks. His lashes flare wide. "What?"

"Don't be stupid." Her throat feels dry. "Get in the bed."

He creeps, almost. Like he's not sure he believes her. He doesn't argue, at least. The couch bed is big enough for the two of them to sleep the whole night through without touching, especially if she stays curled in a ball, but Jyn rolls over to look at him all the same. He's on his side, now, watching her. There's something about the look on his face that makes her think he sees more than she wants him to see.

"We're going to kill it," she says again. He nods, beard scriffing against the pillow case.

"Yeah."

She curls her hand up between them. Something in her cries out, like she ought to be afraid. She's too shaky to listen.

"This is not how I thought this week would go," Cassian says, and she can't help it. She presses her face into the sheets to ward off a laugh. It's hysterics, bubbling at her throat, and she can't lose control, not right now.

"Me either," says Jyn.

The edges of his mouth quirk again. It fades very fast.

"When I was small I would have nightmares," he says. Jyn doesn't speak. It feels like a spell is being cast, somehow. "I would wake my parents. My mother would tell me, los monstruos son sombras sin luz detrás de ellos."

She's taking German, not Spanish. Jyn waits in silence.

"It means monsters are only shadows without light to show what they really are." Cassian shifts his weight on the bed, lays his hand close to hers. "It's a living thing. We can kill it."

Jyn nods. She stretches out with her pinky finger, and touches the side of his hand. Cassian sucks in a breath, lashes flaring again. She's already squeezed her eyes closed. She doesn't know if she can handle it, whatever's leapt up into her throat at the look on his face. She's not sure she knows how to be soft. She’s not sure he does, either.

Cassian hooks his index finger around her pinky. He doesn't say anything else.

#my writing #rebelcaptain #stranger things au #WHOOPS I DID A THING

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