#why was that unhelpful?

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #mental health support #suicide #suicide tw #(after this i'm going to rant about being told the unhelpful narrative i included above) #when i was younger the thing i was told the most was that suicide would only transfer my pain to others... #...and is that true? maybe. was it helpful? no. #why was that unhelpful? #because i started using that as yet ANOTHER reason to feel guilty and to lash out against myself... #...because that didn't magic away my suicidality like it 'should have'... #...and that was ~obvious~ proof i didn't care enough about my loved ones to keep them out of harms way... #...and it can be really hard not to do that (give advice like that) because if you're not the suocidal person... #...you have the luxury of thinking without the burden they are labouring under... #...you can see 'logically' and make assumptions about what the other person 'needs' #it's just frustrating because i know that people like this want to help but i worry about *how* they are helping... #...in the sense that i want their efforts to actually help their person and bring them closer

[jakeperalta]

letting celebrities think they can and should "use their platform" to speak on all current events and political issues regardless of how educated they are on them was a grave mistake

#i honestly think that's why half of these celebrities are just sharing around these same few wishy washy unhelpful statements #at this point it's a relief when i open an instagram story and it's just a celebrity posting about their regular stuff #like good thank you feel free to just be quiet #or just share some fundraising links if you feel a need to be helpful #but like ultimately if you have a platform of many thousands/millions #then frankly it is your responsibility to make sure what you are sharing is accurate and useful #and not just posting for the sake of posting #but instead somehow we're at the point where the more followers you have the more you are expected to just post something anything #talking

[un-pearable]

in which zane did not know before he died

remembered this very old au concept i’ve had since i was tiny watching ninjago for the first time… it completely unravels everything i enjoy about zane in the early seasons and i refuse to think of the necessary rewrites atm but i needed to make at least this one scene exist. can an au be naught but a single panel that makes me Sad?

#ninjago #zane ninjago #cole ninjago #tournament of elements #art✨ #loadbearing nindroid #notorious s4 enjoyer makes sad s4 content for first time. this has lingered in the back of my mind for a literal decade probably #lettering makes me too powerful bc now i can get away with all the repetition and exaggerated punctuation that gets clunky in fic form #now it’s Pacing™️ . also why do so many webcomics ditch text bubbles they’re SO fun and emotive #i think i’m gonna play with this quick comic style a little more. all my full comic ideas are more detailed and actually colored but for now #this is fun :] and good for getting the images out of my head and into the world #also why do i keep drawing people from behind it is SO unhelpful #ninjago au #no potential au

[transmascutena]

[ID: A collection of screencaps of Revolutionary Girl Utena subtitles, the first four from the anime and the second two from the game.

Miss Utena, you really are naive, aren't you?

Huh? But Shiori just wants to be friends with Jury, right?

I've heard the rumors that Jury loves Shiori, but...

Do you understand what that means?

Anthy: That's true. Her partner wasn't necessarily a member of the opposite sex.

Utena: Huh? What do you mean?

End ID]

"utena tenjou does not understand what a lesbian is despite being one and also being constantly surrounded by them" compilation

#that episode 29 preview is so good actually. why are you so curious about a girl's feelings for another girl utena 🤨 #and of course anthy is being unhelpful as always. love her for that #realistically i think she does understand she just subconsciously distances herself from the topic as much as possible #so she doesn't start to question anything #“i am so Normal and heterosexual that i have never even thought of the possibility of queerness being a thing that exists" #“huh? girls? i don't even know what a girl IS! haha...” #revolutionary girl utena #utena #anthy #m

[qcellbit]

meta talk. i don't quite know how to word this properly, but adding french creators to the qsmp is the riskiest thing quackity studios could've done and it doesn't surprise me that the success to which it was executed was minimal.

adding portuguese speaking creators exclusively from brazil as the first batch outside of the initial english and spanish speakers was the perfect "soft expansion" for the server when you consider the reason for the project's conception - because quackity had experienced poor treatment from white americans as a bilingual latino creator and sought to unite his two communities in an empowering way, further expanding this very noble and personal idea to encapsulate all communities and all languages spanning across the entire world. inviting more latino creators who have likely had the same experiences and would be able to appreciate what the project is trying to achieve is a no-brainer.

it's an uncomfortable thing to touch on (which is why i've never, ever, seen it spoken about on this website), but minecraft projects and communities have always had massive problems with all forms of bigotry, but especially racism. white americans and white europeans have probably not felt the euphoria of seeing their culture celebrated in mainstream global entertainment projects as they already absolutely dominate the entertainment industry on a global scale. as someone who is visibly brown and living in europe, i've always got a lot of grief from classmates and co-workers in the form of ignorant jokes and flat out exclusion - it's an unfortunate cultural norm that bleeds into streaming due to the medium's casual and open nature, unnoticed or unchallenged by white viewers who don't want to have to confront a content creator's bigotry in fears of having to stop watching them. something that cannot be ignored by the people it's actually affecting. there is a reason dsmp and hermitcraft cosplay meet ups are dominated by pale skin.

i love the qsmp because its inclusion of latin american creators and quackity's selectiveness based on personal experience have largely (and i do mean largely, not entirely, but that's a discussion for another day) eliminated that problem.

the most prominent and succinct example i can think of is the photo of quackity's bedroom that was mocked countless times by his english speaking community and his bigoted english speaking friends when he streamed on the dsmp - when that photo was brought to the qsmp, forever, a fellow latino creator, was the first person to gently offer solidarity because he had come from the same impoverished latin american background. to me, and to a lot of minorities, that is what the qsmp is about. yeah, sharing languages in a minecraft server is novel, it's a fun way for americans who did poorly in high school to get back into learning spanish, but it stands for so much more when you're a racial minority. when your pleading in the dsmp fandom was drowned out and ignored for the entire duration of its run. when you're completely unrepresented in minecraft tournaments, and when known bigots are encouraged to participate in said tournaments to boost viewership because numbers are paramount. when you are finally seeing your culture appreciated rather than mocked on streams with tens of thousands of viewers all over the world as part of a massive project with a brilliant, engaging story.

it was obviously necessary to branch out of the americas at some point with what the project is attempting to achieve, but such a task is daunting when the next group you're inviting and their community probably do not have the capacity through personal experience to appreciate what the project stands for at its core in the same way the first batches do. can non americans all relate in discussions of the internet and entertainment industry being america and by extension english speaking centric? yeah, of course. but can white europeans relate when the only representation you have in said media revolves around harmful bigoted stereotypes? can there be a quiet solidarity between a white frenchman and a brown brazilian based on experiences with government, racial profiling, and online mockery? no. and in the landscape of livestreaming stupid jokes for entertainment alongside fast paced gameplay, these nuances are probably not going to be acknowledged.

in complete contrast to the solidarity exhibited between quackity and forever when discussing their poverty growing up in latin america, i have not forgotten and never will forget aypierre excusing his constant racist jokes aimed at the brazilians on his uniquely "french dark humour" that the brazilians, hurt by his comments, could "not understand." this is not an excusable cultural difference, but a symptom of white european privilege, and total ignorance towards what the project is meant to stand for. a smooth integration of all the world's cultures necessitates white european and white american introspection in a way that i haven't seen a lot of streamers capable of. admitting fault to such a degree and the ego of a large online personality do not often mesh well.

i'm always very irritated when people (especially english speakers) complain about them not "adding the germans" sooner despite us seeing applications for german speaking admins many months ago - because it would not be a task of simply throwing out server invites to content creators and cobbling together an animation of a submarine crashing into the island. you cannot downplay the ambition of this project and the mammoth task its trying to accomplish. people take for granted and forget that this is an unprecedented melding of cultures that would never otherwise interact and clash on the rare occasions they do. the french qsmp community being small and the french creators largely being outliers when it comes to the qsmp is not something born out of malice or purposeful exclusion, but simply a symptom of an unspoken lack of solidarity and inability to meaningfully relate based on everything from wildly varying privilege to global placement.

and don't get me wrong - i'm not excusing things like the times at which events are broadcast (i literally live in europe and have to stay up until sunrise to see most events, i think the admins do have to bite the bullet and begin structuring events around a new timezone that isn't the globally inconvenient unsustainable PST), or the exclusion of clips from french content creators at the presidential dinner, but i think attributing those admin choices to the brazilian community being unfairly favoured is downplaying what the qsmp as a project means for minorities, especially when the brazilian community receive the most scorn for infamously being the first to call out bigoted behaviour from qsmp content creators. yeah, it sucks that the french haven't slotted into the qsmp as well as the brazilians and aren't anywhere as numerous, but with all these unspoken contributing factors being taken into account, i can't be surprised.

i wish quackity and his team the best in smoothly integrating more languages and cultures in this amazing project in the future, but for the love of god please understand that the implications of this project and its impact are far larger than any streamer "drama" you might've witnessed in the past. and stop underplaying what this project is trying to achieve in an online landscape saturated in bigotry.

#sorry if this is worded weirdly im still recovering from a brain injury. ill fix typos as and when i notice them reading back on this #also dont tag this as discourse because its like.....not. and thats so unhelpful in recognising what im trying to get across #edit: ive seen a few people bringing it up now YES dont worry i am aware that etoiles isnt white thats why i made sure to specify white #when talking about where the issues were coming from #mine #qsmp

[introspectivememories]

buggy, dreamily sighing: did you see marco today?

shanks, warily: yeah? why? we see him like every other month?

buggy, immediately gushing: wasn't he soo cool? like the way he transforms and those muscles! didja see his muscles, shanks? he could probably pick me up with one hand....

shanks who has just realized that he never wants buggy looking at another man who isn't him: .....yes... cool

#shanks going up to roger immediately: you need to kill marco #roger: what??? why #shanks: bugs keeps Looking at him #roger instantly turning to rayleigh: we need to kill whitebeard's brat #rayleigh: i fucking hate this ship #next time the whitebeards meet up with the rogers #marco is left wondering why roger won't stop glaring at him #buggy after working up the courage to ask marco for devil fruit lessons: ...hey marco? do you think you could help me? *bats eyelashes* #shanks is 3 seconds away from shanking marco #whitebeard as usual is largely unhelpful and will never miss a chance to piss of roger so it's just #wb: gurarara! i've always wanted a son-in-law! welcome aboard buggy! #buggy who fainted at the words 'son-in-law' muttering incoherently #roger and shanks on their hands and knees crying screaming wailing at rayleigh #r&s: rayleigh please!!! please!!! don't let them take our buggy away!!! #roger pirates #buggy the clown #op buggy #buggy one piece #akagami no shanks #shanks one piece #op shanks #shuggy #shanks x buggy

[paellegere]

"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them

#.txt #i've gotten to the point of relationship anarchy where i no longer understand the obsession with labeling relationships #there's a post floating around like 'it doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic the point is that they love each other' #and i get the message. however may i propose that distinctions such as that don't even have to matter. consider #bold claim probably. but whatever i didn't have the choice to think about love in a normative way and as a consequence i have thoughts #of course i am thinking about wincest but it applies everywhere. jopzier even #jopson views crozier as a surrogate parent but in an inherently queer way. does that mean he want to fuck his mom? probably not #but the fixation and need for redemption turns the traditionally familial relationship into something far more #do you understand #once you leave the normative behind labels become useless #do sam and dean love each other romantically or platonically or familially? consider: it doesn't matter. there are no words to describe it #their love is queer in the sense that it extends beyond normativity. society holds no sway over them. they are ungovernable #i find it ultimately unhelpful to discuss fiction in normative terms when the characters themselves exist outside of normative society #shows like supernatural and the terror are perfect examples. sam and dean were never normal and franklin crew left normal behind #the arctic doesn't care if you fuck your mom. the impala doesn't care if you kiss your brother #this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why #however it IS helpful to discuss fiction set within normative society in relation to normativity. it's relevant! #most stories are not however set within the bounds of normativity. that's kinda the whole point of a lot of fiction #baby i explore relationship anarchy in ways that you couldn't even imagine #<-tldr #i have a tendency to write essays in the notes every time i post something. sorry about that. it feels safer here and i am skittish

[coruscantjedi]

i never ever want to visit the planet Zeffo again in my lifetime.

#jedi fallen order #cal kestis #zeffo #My god #the elevator was right there like Right on the map why cant i just go in why do i have to push magic force balls #unhelpful bd-1 #jedi survivor

[someone-else-entirely]

I recently read a Disco Elysium fanfic in which Kim cries in front of Harry (in a very rare show of vulnerability) and because the fanfic takes place some years after the events of the game and Harry is more emotionally mature and well-adjusted by then, he's able to offer comfort to Kim like a reasonably normal person.

Which is all well and good, but here's something else I'd love to see:

Kim cries in front of Harry during/shortly after the events of Disco Elysium and Harry is unable to respond at all because every single one of the 24 skills immediately starts screaming about it

#disco elysium #some of them - like Physical Instrument and Authority - are all like #''this is unbecoming of an officer of the RCM tell him to pull himself together'' #others like Empathy and Pain Threshold are more like #''NO CAN'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH PAIN HE'S IN WE HAVE TO COMFORT HIM'' #Rhetoric: ''hey you should try and explain to him why there's no need to be upset'' #Volition: ''no it's okay to cry sometimes let him just get it out'' #Electrochemistry offers some /very/ unhelpful suggestions for distracting him #and meanwhile Harry is just staring wordlessly at Kim and Kim thinks that Harry is disappointed in his lack of professionalism #so Kim is like ''I'm very sorry I lost control it won't happen again'' #and Harry has to try to explain ''no you're fine I just had 24 voices in my head start Yelling the moment I saw tears in your eyes''

[utilitycaster]

"Bocular technology seems to be everywhere, more so in the second season. So: BOCS! What is it? How is it? And why is it? We need to know."

So basically when you have something that needs to get done, and you need a way to make it happen, there's bocs. There's always bocs.

You can use them for every application, and the uniform size and shape makes it easy to do that.

Yeah! So often, whenever you need to, it can! And, often, that is how, because it will!

It will, it can, and it is: bocs. That's why.

- from Midst Messages: Season 2 Q&A

#midst #midst messages #it is HILARIOUS to me when people are unhelpful. anyway. bocs: that's why.

[thebirdandhersong]

discussing my love life with my godson is like I say something about current situation and he cuts in and goes: "see, the REAL problem is: why were you even looking at an engineer???"

#sometimes it is greatly unhelpful to talk to some boys #sometimes he says the most engineerist (lolllll) things ever and i'm like. okay dude moving on #(mouse brain muttering in the background: you were literally a business major why are YOU making fun)

[jestingknights]

Does the line “You draw the line so far back, protect yourself so late” ring any bells for anyone?

I’m pretty sure it was a fanfic where Luo Binghe was thinking it of SY!SQQ, and resolving to protect him, but besides general vibes being warm and fluffy, I recall nothing else.

#shen qingqiu #luo binghe #svsss #scum villian self saving system #my memory is wack and i don’t know if i’m misremembering or if google is actually unhelpful #why do i do this to myself

[liquidstar]

Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting

#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be #(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol) #so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go #i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system #so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol #ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway #maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷‍♂️ we'll see #I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids #luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like #ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you #so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol #he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive

[werewolf-transgenderism]

just spent like an hour and a half researching something only to end up with net zero information and several interlibrary loans I have to wait for before I can do anything with this little section

#hate it when my advisor is like ‘you have to define and explain this’ and none of my published academic sources define or explain it #like why must I explain it if nobody else is doing so. I’ll do it but I won’t be happy about it #everybody’s like ‘yeah yeah public and private space in 15th century london we all know about it’ very unhelpful

[jennycalendar]

cordelia: giles, i’m scared of going onstage!

giles: just imagine the audience in their underwear. that’s something that people say in moments like this, right?

cordelia: now i feel WORSE :(

giles: cool ❤️ goodbye

#celia watches btvs #HE JUST IS SO UNHELPFUL ACROSS THE BOARD #i honest to god understand why jenny made fun of this man as a form of flirtation

[thegunslingerfollowed]

The problem is I have chronic guilt about something that I can’t control but everyone on tumblr would tell me I’m a bad person for. Unfortunately, this is the only place I can vent so this particular issue will just destroy me from the inside

#actually ocd #guilt #chronic guilt #morality ocd #moral ocd #I do have POCD but this is (surprisingly) not about POCD #people on tumblr will tell you you’re a terrible person for POCD tho #I just wish there was someone who I could guarantee not judging me #not a therapist because they’re just judging me in their head #I don’t have close friends irl or on the internet #I can’t talk to anyone except my parents who are great but very unhelpful on this issue #d originals #ocd #I recognize it is part of the ocd but also part of it is like… objectively true you know #I want to die it’s tearing me apart #why can’t I just get rid of it? #I should be happy rn and I’m not #I’m only happy when I briefly forget this fact about my life #why is my brain like this? why is something that most people would consider a blessing a curse to me #why am I so ungrateful #just want to die but I know I’ll never actually attempt #I’ll just feel like this forever