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anarcoqueer1994 · 5 years

Text

Be My Beard?

A story about the Kippen family being terrible and homophobic and Amber and TJ being the best disaster gays.

(Please be kind, wrote this post seizure today so my brain is being wonky <3 )

TJ and Amber Kippen were gay. Very gay. But neither teenager was out to the family. Of course they knew the other one wasn't straight, they could never keep anything a secret between each other. But the thought of telling the whole family scared both of them.

A few years back, when Amber was in the 8th grade, and TJ was in the 6th, an incident happened that freaked them both out. They were having Christmas dinner with their parents, both sets of grandparents, and a bunch of aunts, uncles, and all their kids. Amber recently figured out she was a lesbian. She had told TJ and of course he was supportive and excited for her. But neither could predict how their family would react. And they needed to know before Amber came out, and even though he hadn't said it out loud, before TJ came out.

So at Christmas dinner she decided to test the waters to check how they would react. Amber casually said, "This girl in my class just told everyone she was a lesbian, isn't that so brave of her?" She muses.

Her aunt Robin on her dad's side was the first to speak up. "All these kids think they are gay at your age, sweetheart. She will figure it out."

Out of the corner of her eye a few people nodded. But then it goes back to general talking and laughing at the table. But Amber and TJ needed to know more. So TJ decides to poke a little further. Over the voices around him, he says"But what if she doesn't 'figure it out?' What if she does only like girls the rest of her life? What if that makes her happy?"

Amber and TJ's grandma(on their mom's side) gets a very serious look on her face. The room is silent and awkward. She stares at Amber for a few moments, as if she was trying to calculate something. Then she turns to TJ, giving him a similar look. Finally she breaks her silence and coldly says, "Well then I would remind that girl that maybe she should think about what that would do to her family and friends, and that she should figure how to keep those feelings under control. It is all for the best...." She put on a sweet smile and quickly adds, " Hypothetically, of course."

Then, just like that, everyone goes back to talking and laughing. No one bothered to defy her or what she said. Both Kippen siblings are left staring into their plates in quiet worry the rest of the night.

In the year that followed, both of them learned to 'hide' from their feelings, even denying the truth from each other.

"Ambs, What are you doing going out with this guy, Jonah?" TJ asks, while sitting on her bed, as she does her hair for school.

"I happen to really like Jonah." She says in a voice that is uncertain if she is trying to convince TJ or herself.

"Don't lie to me, I know the truth. You have become colder to people, especially other girls. And you have become so clingy and possessive towards Jonah. You are pretending to be someone you are not. Amber, no matter what grandma says, it is okay if you are a les..."

"You don't know anything, TJ!" she cuts him off. "Don't start with me. Don't act like I don't see how much more of a jerk you have become since last year at Christmas. You have been trying to act like this hotshot, super 'manly' jock with a bad attitude to hide the fact that you are gay."

TJ quickly gets up and heads to the door. "Whatever Amber....I'm not gay. " He slams her door.

And it was like that for a while. But then they meet Andi and Cyrus, and both of them knew they were fucked.

Amber first saw Andi when the other girl was talking to Jonah. Right away, Andi made Amber feel weak in the knees. Amber was terrified that Andi would bring out the feelings she had been working so hard to suppress. So she responded to those fears by purposely being as cold as possible to Andi and clinging tighter than ever to Jonah. But then she and Jonah broke up and even more surprisingly, she and Andi became friends.

There were some hiccups along the way in their friendship. There was the time at the ferris wheel. Most people assumed she left because she was jealous of Andi being with Jonah. In reality, she was jealous that Jonah was Andi's choice and not her.

Then there was the warehouse party. That night she held Andi's hand for the first time. She remembers looking into Andi's little Bambi eyes and melting. That scared her. So soon, she took the opportunity to get close to Jonah again. He was her disguise. That's why she pushed so hard when they were dating, tricking herself into believing that she loved him so no one would suspect that she was a lesbian.

But always in the back of her head was Andi. So when she and Jonah broke up, it was almost liberating. She and Andi got closer and at Andi's party, they danced and her heart felt like it was going to pound out of chest. Then less than a week later, Andi texted her, asking her to meet her at The Spoon. That night Andi asked her out and against her better judgment, she said yes. They have been together ever since, a little more than a year now.

The other Kippen sibling was just as powerless against love. Cyrus gave him the courage and freedom to be himself, if only to just their friends. So both Amber and TJ were with people they loved who loved them back. Unfortunately...they had to keep it a secret to everyone but their close friends to negate the risk of their family finding out.

This was working out fine for a while. Their parents just assumed that Cyrus and Andi were their friends. But one day towards the end of TJ's freshman year, their plan started to crumble. Their grandparents were over and the family was catching up in the living room. The conversation was innocent enough until their parents leave the room and their grandma started asking about their personal lives. There grandfather sits obviously on the couch next to her.

"So tell me about what is going on in your lives?" She asks, looking between her grandkids. "Anything special? Anyone special?" She smiles.

Both kids look uncomfortably at the ground so she pushed on, in a faux sweet voice. "What about that girl in your class, dear? Remember the one you told me about a few years back?" Looking at Amber. "Did she ever figure out that this gay thing was a phase?"

They both knew what she was implying. She wanted to know if they were done with this "phase." They weren't dumb. She may not know specifics but their grandmother had a hunch and it scared them. Amber looks up quickly to meet her grandmother's eye, as awkward silence filled the room. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, she did. She even has a boyfriend now."

"Oh, she does?" Their grandmother grins. "So what about you two? I know, Amber, you must be beating guys away with a stick." Then their grandfather speaks for the first time. "And TJ, must be like me back in the day. You are a real lady's man, aren't you?" The old man smiles.

TJ doesn't know what came over him but he finds himself speaking up. "Actually, I have a...." he suddenly forces himself to pause, his senses coming back to him.

"A what dear?" The older woman asks.

"Um, a girlfriend." He lies through his teeth.

"Oh really? And what her name?"

TJ panics. He did not think this through. Amber looks over and sees her brother's look of fear and worry, so she steps in.

"Teej's girlfriend is wonderful! She's actually my best friend, Andi."

"What about you Amber? Do you have a special guy?"

"Uh yeah. His name is...its Cyrus. He's a boy in TJ's class." TJ is dumbfounded, looking at his sister as he tries his best to play along.

Their grandmother looks absolutely giddy. "I must meet them! You should bring them to family dinner on Sunday!"

"What?!" Both siblings say in unison.

"Yea, bring them to dinner this Sunday!" Their grandpa agrees. Every Sunday, they and their parents go to their grandparents house for dinner. But neither of them expected them to invite Andi and Cyrus.

Amber stutters "But aren't those special family time?"

"Nonsense!" Their grandma exclaimed. Right then their parents return. She turn to their mom, her daughter. "Kim, I told the kids they can bring their special people Sunday."

Their mother turns to them. "I didn't know you kids were dating anyone."

"Um, yea mom. I am dating Andi, Amber's friend. And you know how close Cyrus and Amber are." TJ tries to play off.

"That's so exciting!" She squeals. "Definitely bring them."

The kids groan internally knowing there is no getting out of this now.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

So that is how they ended up at The Spoon, nervously waiting for Andi and Cyrus. They sat on the same side of the booth, so when Cyrus and Andi walk in, they scoot into the other side across from the Kippen siblings. Both teens immediately notice the look of apprehension on their SO's face.

"What's going on guys?" Andi asks cautiously.

"Yea, you guys are scaring me." Cyrus adds, Andi nodding her head in agreement.

Amber lets out a dry laugh. "It's actually a funny story...um well…." TJ nervously smiles beside her. "We need you guys to be our beards this Sunday." She finishes.

"What do you mean, Ambs?" Andi reaches her hand across the table to grab Amber's.

"I, um, mean that our grandma came over the other day and started asking all these questions and we kind of ended up lying to her and she thinks Cyrus is my boyfriend and you are TJ's girlfriend. Then she told us to invite you guys for dinner. So we need you guys to help us to pretend to be happy straight couples for one night."

Cyrus and Andi share matching faces of shock. Cyrus says "You guys know how crazy this sounds, right?"

"Cy," TJ says pleasingly. "Our family isn't like yours or Andi's. Our parents, and especially our grandparents, are so anti-gay." There is almost a shared pain in the Kippen kids eyes as he speaks.

Cyrus' voice softens. "I know, Teej. I'm sorry. I will do it, if it will help you guys out."

Amber looks at Andi. "Bambi? What do you say?"

Andi smiles at the blonde haired girl staring at her. "Of course. I still think it is crazy but anything to help."

In that moment, TJ and Amber knew how lucky they were to have such amazing partners. The rest of the night was spent planning for Sunday. They needed to get everything right.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The night they had been dreading finally arrived. They were having Andi and Cyrus meet them at their grandparent's house right before dinner. They figured, the less time they had to act out this charade in front of their family, the better.

Dinner was set to start at 7, and like clock work, Cyrus and Andi show knock on the front door around quarter til. When the kids open the door, Cyrus has a bouquet in his hands. He hands it to Amber and says "My lady. " TJ laughs to himself at the obvious show Cyrus is putting on.

"Thank you, Cy." She smiles. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Andi wink, tipping her off to the fact that Andi picked those out. She blushes at that thought. Just then their grandfather walks up and slaps his arms around his grandkids' shoulders.

"See TJ, that's how you treat a lady." He smiles and jokingly continues to TJ, "This young man is really showing you up bringing flowers for Amber and you didn't get anything for this beautiful girl." He motions to Andi.

"What can I say. Grandpa? Cyrus really knows how to make a girl happy. " All four kids crack a knowing smile at the absurdity of it all.

"Well let's get you kids out of the doorway. We are about to eat." Amber and TJ nod as their grandfather speaks.

TJ moves forward and puts his arm around Andi's shoulder. They both try to look as if this is normal but aren't quite sure they are convincing. TJ hurriedly walks her to the table. Amber grabs Cyrus' hand and follows her brother and girlfriend.

They quickly sit around the long table. Andi and TJ on one side, and Amber and Cyrus on the other. The adults filled in the spaces in between as the begin to eat. It isn't long before their grandmother starts interrogating their "dates." Their parents stay quiet for the most part, letting their grandmother lead the conversation.

She starts with Andi. "Andi, that's an interesting name."

"Yeah, I guess." Andi awkwardly replies, not knowing what to say to that.

"A girl with such a unique name must have an exciting life. Tell me about yourself, dear."

"Well, I go to SAVA and focus on painting and sculpture. But I also love photography." Amber looks intently on Andi as she speaks. The way she always does, like she is holding onto every word.

"Really?" Their grandma seems genuinely interested, as well as the other adults there. There dad asks, "What is your favorite thing to photograph?"

"I love doing candid shots of people, like I got this really great shot of Amber a few weeks ago." As soon as she realizes what she said, she freezes.

But it doesn't seem to phase anyone. Their grandfather says "Doesn't surprise me, our Amber could be a model. Isn't that right, Cyrus?" He elbows the brunette boy next to him, smiling.

"Yes sir. She is beautiful." Cyrus smiles before taking Amber's hand over the table. What no one sees is he and TJ playing footsie across the table.

TJ gets the hint that he should probably say something. "Andi's pictures are amazing. She has these great pictures of all her friends. Like there is this really good one of Cyrus on the swings and it's like black and white. It's such a good picture." Andi smiles.

"Teej, you know I hate that one." Cyrus replies.

As if she was speaking for TJ, Amber replies "You know how much I love that picture. You look so cute." TJ looks down and smiles to himself.

Their grandmother clears her throat. "Anyhow, what about you Cyrus? What do you got going on?"

"Well, I write for the school newspaper and am in the drama club."

Mrs. Kippen, their mother speaks for the first time all night. "I used to write for Grant's newspaper back in my day. What do you write on?" She grins.

"Mainly I'm assigned sports, specifically basketball related news since I am at every game anyhow."

"You like basketball?" Their grandfather questions.

"Not really sure. But I understand it a lot better now. I am at all the girl's games because our friend, Buffy is on the team. And of course I am at the boy's games because of TJ." Their grandmother shoots him a questioning look. "You know, Andi is my best friend so of course she drags me along to see her boyfriend play." He says, saving them from an awkward situation.

Dinner continues on without any more close calls. The teens all play their part well. That is until desert. Their grandmother brought out a decadent pie she baked. Everyone was welcome to cut off a slice. Cyrus goes to cut a small slice, when the knife slips, cutting his finger. He hisses in pain as he brings the finger to his face to examine the cut.

Without thinking, when he sees Cyrus hurt herself, TJ blurts out. "Are you okay, Muffin?" The room goes silent and TJ's heart drops.

His grandmother coldly asks "Why did you just call this boy, muffin?"

TJ looks down before saying, "I need to go." He dashes out of the room and to the backyard. As he does, Amber notices the look of sadness and fear in his face. She has now switched to full on protective sibling mode. Meanwhile Cyrus, without hesitation goes after him.

The old woman turns her attention to Amber. "What is going on?" Their parents look at the girl in equal confusion.

Amber takes a deep breath before standing up from the table. Andi looks at her, waiting to follow her lead. "Grandma, I know you know what is going on."

Her grandmother plays dumb. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, it's the elephant in the room that none of you want to talk about. I see the way grandma and grandpa look at me and TJ." She turns to her parents. "I see the way you two look at us, so how about you ask me?"

"Ask you what, young lady?" Her mother replies.

"Ask me if I am a lesbian, mom." Her mother turns away, refusing to meet her daughter's eyes. Andi takes this as her cue to walk around the table and stand behind Amber, ready to be her support.

Through clenched teeth, Amber commands again. "ASK ME IF I'M GAY."

Her grandmother speaks next. "Don't talk to your parents like that!"

"Well then, how about I talk to you like that, then?! Grandma, you know the truth! I see it in your eyes. You know what I am. What TJ is!"

"Amber! Calm yourself!" The older woman replies. "We are not going to discuss this! You have no idea what you are talking about!"

"Yes, we are!" The blonde explodes. Tears mixed with anguish and rage stream down her face. "I'm tired of not talking about this! I'm tired of pretending! You need to accept that you have two QUEER grandkids." She turns to her parents. "You have two QUEER kids." Neither of her parents look at her. Her grandfather stares at his plate. The only person staring at her is her grandmother.

In a calm, icy voice, the woman speaks. "You are a disgrace. This behavior is embarrassing and honestly I feel bad for you. You are so confused." Amber freezes, hoping her parents stand up for her but no one speaks. Tears fall harder.

No one, but Andi. Andi grabs Amber's hand. The younger girl says defyingly. "Amber is the best person I know. She loves harder than anyone I know. She puts her heart out there and trusted me enough to protect it." Andi smiles softly before her features contort to anger as she stares at the adults around her."She deserves the world, not a family who treats her like this. I never want to see her cry, especially at the hands of the people that should love her the most."

The room is quiet. Andi starts to pull Amber to the backyard where the boys are.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Meanwhile, Cyrus had followed TJ outside. TJ slams his fist into the banister on the back patio. "Fuck. I messed up everything."

Cyrus comes up behind him and wraps his arms around the older boy. He rests his head on his shoulder. "You didn't mess up anything."

"Cy, I slipped up. They are all going to know." His voice cracks.

"You are fine, Teej. They are the ones who forced you to lie."

TJ looks down trying to hold himself together. Cyrus slips his hands off TJ so he can get to the side of him so they could look at each other, with TJ turning his body so they staring face-to-face. When he sees the fear in TJ's face and eyes, polluting every beautiful part of him, it breaks his heart. They both hear yelling from the inside. Amber is confronting the family.

"Oh god…" TJ says guiltily. "I just left Amber in there to deal with this. Now I'm an even bigger fuck up."

Before Cyrus could answer, they hear Andi defending Amber and TJ smiles if only for a moment. Cyrus whispers, "Hey you know the same goes for you too. You don't deserve to have your family hurt you. You deserve only love." Cyrus promises. Instinctively, TJ buries his face into Cyrus' shoulder as the brunette wraps his arms around TJ.

Just then, Andi and Amber walk outside. Andi is holding onto Amber like she is trying to keep the other girl from falling into pieces. They step closer. "Cy?" Andi asks.

"Yea?" Cyrus whispers in return.

"Let's get out of here. I think we all know they aren't sleeping at their house tonight."

Cyrus nods. That night, all 4 of them had a sleepover at Andi's. They weren't sure on the plan for the next day. But that night, all that mattered was being together.

#andi mack #Tyrus #ambi #tj kippen #amber kippen #cyrus goodman #Andi #disaster gay TJ #disaster lesbian Amber #Amber is the lesbian queen who deserves the world.

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ageofevermore · 4 years

Note

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though.

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes!

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back!

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger

#soapy tag #pink tag #ask game

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cafeteriaoats · 4 years

Text

im going to compile a list of the top 10 most bruh moments of my life. so far i have

-when i went to this prom type event with people from a theatre company that i didnt know that well and the people i was hanging around told me the party was over (like full on turned the lights up and were like OK EVERYONE GO HOME) and then i found out the party didnt end for another 2 hours and they were all just annoyed by me and wanted me to leave.

-when i texted this girl i was fucking around with “hey” and she responded “im too sober for this” (all i said was hey)

-when i had an episode one time and called the girl ive been bpd obssessed with for 3 years on the train crying about how i would never fall out of love with her and my entire life centered around her and always would

-when i was hanging with said girl and we were making fun of this girl she knows whos like all over her bf all the time and she looked at me and was like “omg i just cant imagine being like, TOTALLY obsessed with someone like that! it’s psycho!” and i didn’t know how to tell her that i once wrote her a crown of sonnets

-the time i wrote a girl a crown of sonnets.

-theres one i really want to post cuz its SO FUNNY but the person involved follows me on here so we’re just gonna talk psychically abt it. if ur reading this, yea it’s what u think that was bad wasn’t it yikes let’s forget abt that shall we

-when i was in middle school and a guy asked me if i was a lesbian in front of a huge group of his friends and i guess i was feeling brave that day cuz i was like “maybe whats it to u” and he yelled “HOW MANY VIBRATORS DO YOU OWN” and like a ton of teachers heard

-when i ran into my middle school spanish teacher while shopping for vibrators

-when i was in middle school and this guy made an instagram page pretending to be me and told a bunch of guys i would suck their dicks so that everyone thought i was a whore who had sucked all the guys dicks but i was actually a dyke

-when i was in 7th grade and a guy asked for my number and i panicked and told him i didnt have a phone

-when i was making out w this girl and her older brother came down (who didnt even know she was gay) and looked shocked for like 30 seconds and then started talking abt presliced bread

if anyone who knows me wants to comment some bruh moments im forgetting pls do, i’ll be compiling in the morning so whenever i feel myself gettin a little too cocky i can look back and feel humbled

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ptony2009-blog · 4 years

Text

H2holbro22's Xanga Blog 1.1 7431748 H2holbro22's Xanga Site h2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 H2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:06:56 -04:00 Hey everyone! How is it goin? My day started off really bad because my favorite necklace fell off this morning and I didn't realize it... until I got on the bus of course. Luckily, I stepped on it when I got off the bus and now I'm wearing it lol. I can't just get another necklace like that becuz I got it as a gift from my friend when he went to another country. Today in ecology, we went outside and collected grasshoppers for a lab and we found 2 grasshoppers on top of each other lmao. Anyways, I'm just throwing my hackysack up in the air cuz I'm bored as hell and it's a school night. Btw, I think I'm getting some kind of "signs" becuz everytime i look at the clock, it's either 3:33, 5:55, or 12:34. It's really freaking me out. But regardless, at 12:00 tonight, it will be Monday, September 13th, 2005 and the new Trapt cd will come out!!! Yeah I'm definitly gonna get that tomorrow. I'm also gonna go over to Sarah's house and get sick with her lol! She's feeling sick so chances are, I will get sick too, but I don't care. I actually like being sick in a way... you get more attention, you get lots of soup, you can stay home from school, parents do whatever you say! Ugh but then there is that damn cough syrup Robitussin stuff that tastes like kerosene mixed with antifreeze . Oh yeah, I saw the worst thing when I was driving with my dad a few days ago. A squirrel got ran over by a car, but it was squirming around before it died and blood was going everywhere. It was pretty sad. So does anyone have the newest Good Charlotte cd? I've been listening to that lately and it's pretty good. I like a bunch of the songs and I even put "Predictable" in my stereo thing. Yeah enough of the randomness....

So on Friday, Sarah came over to my house and we went out to eat at O'Charley's and then we went to Pet Supplies Plus. The parrot was saying "hello" to us... at one point, I tried to make the parrot say "bitch" but it didnt work lol. After that, we hung out at my house and kinda watched Freddy Got Fingered.. wow thats a hilarious movie. Then on Saturday, I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Sarah and a few of the parts made me jump lol. Even though I knew something was gonna jump out. It wasn't that bad of a movie.. it was based on a true story too! After that, I went to visit my uncle in the hospital... he got ran over by a truck and now he is in a coma... I couldn't even look at him, it was pretty bad... but eventually we left the hospital and got home. Then I went over to Sarah's and we watched the OSU vs. Texas game. On Sunday, me and Joe played hackysack and Kart for a while. After that, me and Sarah saw The Cave and it wasn't really that great, so I wouldn't recommend seein it. It was boring at a lot of parts... it reminded me of one of the many repeated movies that they show on the Sci-Fi channel. But it was still fun because I got to be with Sarah! I can always have fun around Sarah, even if were just sitting on a concrete sidewalk doing nothing.

This part right here is for you Sarah, since it might seem like I never really take the time to say stuff... but even though I don't usually express my feelings through Xanga, yeah lol. SARAH YOU'RE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!!! I don't know why it feels like I've known you for years, but I think its cuz I can talk to you about anything and everything... so you've become really close to me in such a short period of time.. 1 month and 8 days to be exact. You mean soo much to me, and I don't wanna lose you. I know I won't though because I totally trust you. You always know how to cheer me up, whether its in person, on the phone, through a text, or whatever else. Don't ever worry about losing me because the only way that would happen is if I died, or if you were to cheat on me or something like that (which you wouldn't lol). So I'm more likely to die than anything. But above anything, I love you soo much baby and don't EVER forget that!!!

Now for some pictures... I got a picture of my AWESOME drawings of a shoe and sunglasses and a picture of me attempting to BLIND my cat lol. Enjoy

Cya later everyone and please leave me some comments!

]]> 2005-09-12 22:17:49 2005-09-13 02:17:49 open Publish post 346791751 1 2005-09-12 22:22:00 2005-09-13 02:22:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 681123026 kinda watched the movie lol. ok well im going to get in the bed now. i love u so much baby! im gonna call u. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXO]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:24:00 2005-09-13 02:24:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 681128468 yay for shoes and crosseyed cats. i told you it would go crosseyed and it did. muahah. lol.

nice sandals today : )

]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:26:00 2005-09-13 02:26:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 681136291 chris!!! I never comment you anymore.. whats up with tha? lol. ill see ya around. lylab

muahz <3

]]> 1 2005-09-15 20:56:00 2005-09-16 00:56:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 686096226 ur drawings are sweet, wheres the shaver?]]> 1 2005-09-23 17:03:00 2005-09-23 21:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 699587982 1 2005-09-28 21:21:00 2005-09-29 01:21:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 709456753 hey this hope. you dont know me but im heather's bestest best friend. i just wanted to say that you draw so fricken awsome!!!!!comment me back. cya

Hope

]]> 1 2005-10-21 20:37:00 2005-10-22 00:37:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 751231697 Hey wats up random props

Peace <33Ashley

]]> 1 2006-07-30 21:46:00 2006-07-31 01:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1154666342 Peace <33Ashley]]> 1 2006-08-10 12:42:00 2006-08-10 16:42:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1165135698 H2holbro22 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 22:33:57 -04:00 Picture break!! Basically, Monica straightened my hair because we wanted to see what it would look like and it turned out looking pretty awesome. So heres just a few pics.. oh yea and my cat lol...

Not half bad. Yea leave some comments!

]]> 2005-09-08 22:33:57 2005-09-09 02:33:57 open Publish post 344126208 1 2005-09-09 15:13:00 2005-09-09 19:13:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 674699405 1 2005-09-09 20:36:00 2005-09-10 00:36:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 675254761 ok, enough of my "gay hairstylist specialist" attitudeIt rocks though, wear it like that more often, 'chicks 'ill dig it']]> 1 2005-09-09 23:08:00 2005-09-10 03:08:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 675505483 1 2005-09-10 10:02:00 2005-09-10 14:02:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 675994007 hey! thanks for the comment. actually i dont go to central anymore. im at north for career center for the semester. its kinda good though, i get to get away from everyone. but yeah, ill be back at central next semester which is pretty good <3 im so fucking happy we won last night! omg, it was just AWESOME you missed out on a PERFECT game, i dont know. we deserved to win so im happy about that, but illl talk to you later babe! IM me sometime -RUK ME HARDx3-]]> 1 2005-09-10 13:32:00 2005-09-10 17:32:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 676344488 1 2005-09-10 16:56:00 2005-09-10 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 676696691 I see you like Soccer and Chipotle me to..]]> 1 2005-10-25 22:37:00 2005-10-26 02:37:00 PyRoKiTtY14 [email protected] http://pyrokitty14.xanga.com/ 0 3592951 0 759118122 H2holbro22 Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:35:28 -04:00 Hey peeps! Here i decided to fill out a survey that i got from my my baby, so just check it out. There are a few interesting answers here lol:

( ) Smoked a joint.( ) Crashed a car.( ) Stolen a car.(x) Been in love.( ) Had a threesome.(x) Been dumped.( ) Shoplifted.( ) Been fired.(x) Been in a fist fight.(x) Snuck out of the house.(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.( ) Been arrested.( ) Made out with a stranger.(x) Gone on a blind date.(x) Lied to a friend.( ) Had a crush on a teacher.( ) Been to Europe.(x) Skipped school.( ) Seen someone die.( ) Been to Canada.( ) Been to Mexico.(x) Been on a plane.( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.( ) Thrown up in a bar.( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.(x) Eaten Sushi.(X) Been snowboarding(x) Met someone from the internet in person( ) Been moshing at a concert.( ) Been in an abusive relationship.(x) Taken painkillers.(x) Love someone or miss someone right now.(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by.(x) Made a snow angel.( ) Had a tea party.(x) Flown a kite.(x) Built a sand castle.(x) Gone puddle jumping.(x) Played dress up.(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.(x) Gone sledding.(x) Cheated while playing a game.(x) Been lonely.(x) Fallen asleep at work/school( ) Used a fake ID.(x) Watched the sun set.( ) Felt an earthquake.(x) Touched a snake.( ) Slept beneath the stars.(x) Been tickled.( ) Been robbed.(x) Been misunderstood.(x) Pet a reindeer/goat.(x) Won a contest.( ) Run a red light.( ) Been suspended from school.(x) Been in a car accident.(x) Had braces.(x) Felt like an outcast.( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.(x) Had deja vu.( ) Danced in the moonlight.( ) Hated the way you look.(x) Witnessed a crime.( ) Pole danced.( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes.(x) Walked barefoot through the mud.(x) Been lost.( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.( ) Swam in the ocean.( ) Felt like dying.( )Cried yourself to sleep

(x) Played cops and robbers.(x)Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.(x)Sung karaoke(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.(x) Made prank phone calls.(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.( ) Danced in the rain.(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.(x) Blown bubbles.( ) Had a bonfire on the beach.( ) Crashed a party.(x) Gone rollerskating.(x) Had a wish come true.(x) Worn pearls.( ) Jumped off a bridge.( ) Screamed the word penis in public.( ) Ate dog/cat food.( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.( ) Kissed a mirror.(x) Sang in the shower.( ) Owned a little black dress.(x) Had a dream that you married someone.(x) Glued your hand to something.( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole.( ) Kissed a fish.(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes.( ) Been a cheerleader.(x) Sat on a roof top.(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.(x) Stayed up all night.(x) Didn't take a shower for a week( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.(x) Climbed a tree.(x) Had a tree house.( ) Are scared to watch scary movies.( ) Believe in ghost.( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes.( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say.( ) Gone streaking.(x) Played ding-dong-ditch.(x) Played chicken.(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on.(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger.( ) Broken a bone.(x) Been easily amused.(x) Caught a fish then ate it.(x) Caught a butterfly.(x) Laughed so hard you cried.( ) Cried so hard you laughed.(x) Mooned/flashed someone.(x) Had someone moon/flash you.(x) Cheated on a test(x) Forgotten someone's name.(x) Slept naked.( ) French braided someone's hair.( ) Grown a beard.( ) Belong to the KKK.( ) In love with an older person(x) Tired of this survey

Well leave some comments, cuz I know there are kool people that always do . Cya later guys!

]]> 2005-09-07 23:35:28 2005-09-08 03:35:28 open Publish post 343536649 hey honey.....when did u wittness a crime??

I LOVE YOU!!!!

]]> 1 2005-09-08 16:56:00 2005-09-08 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 673159705 H2holbro22 Tue, 06 Sep 2005 20:02:59 -04:00 Hi. How's it going? I'm gonna write in this while I'm waiting for dinner lol... I had to survive the day by eating a banana, a granola bar, and a Twix. So when i got home, i ate like everything (an entire bag of goldfish crackers, a sandwich, and a hot pocket). I just didnt feel too great today so i hardly ate. I'm getting really sick of hearing Yellowcard lol... that damn violin is getting annoying.

Alright well me and Sarah's 1 month was 2 days ago, how kool is that? We went to Mi Mexico II and hung out. Then yesterday we saw the Dukes of Hazzard and then went back to my house and watched Blue Streak (i love that movie) and then we walked over to Joe's house lol. After me and Sarah hung out, i went to Mejiers with Joe to buy his bro a b-day present. We chose a card out that said "a happy birthday to my favorite granddaughter" or sumthin lol. And we got him Reese Sticks cuz he used to be obsessed with those lol. Btw i got a dvd called Freddy Got Fingered lol. That movie is hilarious cuz Tom Green is in it haha.

Well its time for me to eat dinner! Damn I'm freakin hungry. I have a few more things to say before i go...

I get my drivers license in 4 days!!

Watch out for camels when you're driving around in the dark!

Leave me a lot of comments, thx guys! Cya later!!

]]> 2005-09-06 20:05:19 2005-09-07 00:05:19 open Publish post 342704024 1 2005-09-06 20:09:00 2005-09-07 00:09:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670027136 1 2005-09-06 20:36:00 2005-09-07 00:36:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670105393 <3

random comment

hows school?

]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:03:00 2005-09-07 01:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670184335 you know when you get your liscense you're so driving me home sometimes. mhmm. because you love me that much. yes, admit that you do! haha. mmk. that's all i got. <3]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:45:00 2005-09-07 01:45:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670318186 umm....HELL NO HE AINT DRIVIN U HOME!!!! My fucking boyfriend thank u very much!!! He will be driving ME home.....

im sorry to break it to u baby, but that movie SUX BALLZ!!

but i still fucking love you so much more than u will ever know!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

tell humphry i said wuts up!! lol

]]> 1 2005-09-07 20:20:00 2005-09-08 00:20:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 671902716 H2holbro22 Wed, 31 Aug 2005 22:25:14 -04:00 Hey everyone! First of all, I'm trying to figure out why i have all of these options at the top of this page... i can like change the colors and highlight my writing and stuff lol. Anyways, school has finally started and it's actually going pretty good. Most of my classes are pretty great. The only class that I don't like is algebra 2. It's pretty boring and were doing a lot of graphing calculator stuff. And my spanish name is based off of a very tasty food... NACHO! Yeah lol, lets see here.. I have a government project due on Friday too, and it's gay foreign policies. I dont really know what that is either. Wow this is gonna be a long year lol. Especially with my drawing class... I'm either gonna slack off the whole semester and complain about how my drawings are worse than everyone else's OR ill start to be really good at drawing and impress people with my pictures. It should all be fun tho!

Ok enough school lol! I've been listening to The Used a little and I also got the new Fall Out Boy cd a few days ago. I listen to the old Fall Out Boy cd as much as the new one... in fact, I think the old one is better than the new one! Cuz it has Grand Theft Autumn and Dead On Arrival and a whole bunch of other kickass songs. You should get the cd if you don't already have it.

I had my last in-car today and the damn instructor was 30 minutes late! She picked me up from school and she blamed me for being on the student pick-up side of the school. What a fuckin retard... she wanted to pick me up on the bus side of the school. Oh well, I'm tired so I'll stop here. Leave me some comments, cya!

]]> 2005-08-31 22:25:14 2005-09-01 02:25:14 open Publish post 338808565 i talked to you today while you were waiting for your in-car. but yeah, it was cool finally getting to talk to you for once since i only see you a couple times during the day. mhmm. i liked your shirt. just thought i would let you know. haha. i'm really random. it's like 12:30am. i should be sleeping, but i can't because i fell asleep when i came home from school. plus, i've still got some spanish homework to finish up.

haha your spanish name is nacho?! some kid in our class chose that & our teacher was like, if he picks that name, you have to promise not to laugh every time i say it. lol. it's dumb but yeah. my spanish name is catalina. how, hot? lol. but yeah.

i love you cristoffer! yes, that's how i want to spell your name so DEAL!

mmk. byee! <3

]]> 1 2005-09-01 00:33:00 2005-09-01 04:33:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 659836765 1 2005-09-01 14:46:00 2005-09-01 18:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 660412506 ]]> 1 2005-09-03 13:06:00 2005-09-03 17:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 663746757 1 2005-09-04 17:18:00 2005-09-04 21:18:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 665878093 I know I few people at Central. Who do you know at North?]]> 1 2005-09-05 11:23:00 2005-09-05 15:23:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667148961 I know all of them... except the Amanda girl. From central I know Sara Frye, Jenny Yan, I knew Luke, and some others that went to my Middle School and stuff.]]> 1 2005-09-05 12:10:00 2005-09-05 16:10:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667241044 1 2005-09-05 12:42:00 2005-09-05 16:42:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 667306392 1 2005-09-05 17:47:00 2005-09-05 21:47:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 667892819 uhh.. lauren stopped taking spanish. heh.

Donde esta mi pantalones?

Dos gatos in sus zapatos.

]]> 1 2005-09-06 19:18:00 2005-09-06 23:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 669885645 H2holbro22 Tue, 23 Aug 2005 23:11:33 -04:00 Hey everyone. Here's just a quick update to tell all of you my schedule becuz I'm getting tired of typing it out to everyone lol. So check it out and comment me if you have a class with me or something. Alright!SEMESTER 1

1- Spanish 3

2-US Government 2

3- Contemporary Lit.

4- Lunch

5-Algebra 2

6- Drawing 1

7- Ecology

8- Study Hall

SEMESTER 2

1- Spanish 3

2- Contemporary Lit.

3-Contemporary Lit. (again?)

4- Lunch

5- Algebra 2

6- Health

7- Ecology

8- US Government 1

Yeah my schedule is pretty screwed up. But anyways, comment me if you have a class with me... or better yet, lunch! Becuz most of my friends are in a different lunch period than me and it SUCKS! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-23 22:39:06 2005-08-24 02:39:06 open Publish post 333393266 1 2005-08-23 23:05:00 2005-08-24 03:05:00 CrazzyRaz2007 [email protected] http://crazzyraz2007.xanga.com/ 0 18657764 0 644916663 nope.. lauren has 5th period lunch..

and easy classes.

]]> 1 2005-08-23 23:15:00 2005-08-24 03:15:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 644940129 ah! ill be at north for the first semester. and the second semester we have ONE thing together -FIRST PERIOD!-

and the class we do got together, we cant speak ENGLISH!! lmao.

]]> 1 2005-08-24 02:06:00 2005-08-24 06:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645171399 Hey... random props, random comment. I was going thru the central blogring and came across your page. ((I'll be a freshman next year)).

Ha, love your taste in music, btw.

<333 Sydney

]]> 1 2005-08-24 13:19:00 2005-08-24 17:19:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645614832 Even though things have been said and done w/e.Here for anyone out there who thinks I like chris just so you all know I dont.I DID think of him as my best friend and that was all.you can have feelings and love someone as nothing but a 100% awesome friend without it meaning anything but that...a friendship.Now that its no longer there those of you that wanted it like that can be happy.As for you chris thanks for standing by me in the times when you did.You were a great friend!]]> 1 2005-08-29 13:34:00 2005-08-29 17:34:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 654705009 1 2005-08-29 16:42:00 2005-08-29 20:42:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 654964300 H2holbro22 Tue, 16 Aug 2005 00:36:41 -04:00 Hola everyone. It's update time! Well I'll give a summary of my past few days. Sarah came back from New York on Sunday so we went to the fair for a while. It felt so good to see her again! We didn't go on any rides becuz they were kinda lame lol, but we walked around inside this building that had like everything in it. It was pretty neat becuz they had lots of random "products" on display. This one lady even offered to make rub Sarah's feet lol . And I got myself a pimped out plastic sheriff badge! Oh yeah!! Yeah the fair was fun tho. Then today was pretty boring during the day, but later on during the night, I went to Sarah's house for like 2 hours then we went to BW3's for a while. There were like 10 people there that I didn't know, but I still had fun. One kid even ate 12 hot wings in less than 5 minutes and he won a T-shirt lol. I ordered 8 boneless wings and I ate 1 really hot wing.. my lips still burn after 2 hours lol. And best of all, NBC 4 was there and supposedly were gonna be on TV later. I think they were there becuz of the smoking bans in restaurants. I was only TV one time before that lol... I did a commercial for the Bowling Palace when I was in 3rd grade and they gave me a damn mini chocolate bowling pin for all of that! I hope their business goes into bankruptcy! After BW3's we went to Kroger so all of the Kroger people could check their schedules and mess around in the finger condom/KY jelly/laxitive isle lol. Yeahh..

Anyways, I guess school is right around the corner and I gotta get school supplies! I even convinced my mom that I'm gonna need an iPod b4 school starts lol, so I might get one tomorrow with this $160 voucher I have. I will have to find a way to cram all of my songs onto that thing lol. Ok well I'm to sleep or something right now cuz I'm really bored. Leave some comments! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-16 00:36:41 2005-08-16 04:36:41 open Publish post 327918781 oh wow its chris!

golly gee its getting late...

wow im so bored.. umm. hi!

]]> 1 2005-08-16 04:04:00 2005-08-16 08:04:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 629800976 1 2005-08-16 16:22:00 2005-08-16 20:22:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 630590370 1 2005-08-17 15:46:00 2005-08-17 19:46:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 632558383 1 2005-08-18 17:43:00 2005-08-18 21:43:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 634768991 1 2005-08-19 22:35:00 2005-08-20 02:35:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 637191636 1 2005-08-23 02:53:00 2005-08-23 06:53:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 643253581 H2holbro22 Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:52:31 -04:00 Hey everyone! So it's been about 6 days since I last updated.. i think. Right now I'm just eating bagel bites, listening to music, and writing in this lol. This week is going so damn slow. Sarah has been in New York for a week already... and she gets back on Sunday. It sucks to wait for so long...I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER! I wanna see her so badly... but were gonna go to the fair on Sunday, which is the last day. It will be awesome, but I hope it doesn't rain or something. I could've swore the fair was open until around the 20th.

Alright so basically I gotta get my temps renewed and then I can get my driver's license next month! After I take my tests of course. And I'm filling out an application for Pet Supplies Plus, yeahhh! I think it would be fun to work there.. i don't know why, but I really need a job. In fact, I went bowling yesterday and I didn't have enough cash so I had to count out a bunch of quarters to pay lol. It was pretty funny. Oh yeah, and I'm back in my workout routine so I'm not as bored anymore!

Ok.. STORY TIME!! Once upon a time, there were 3 kids... their names were Chris, Joe, and David. They got bored one day and decided to ride their bikes to Academy Park. They rode around on the dirt ramps for a while and then David had to go becuz he had work. Chris and Joe found a path shortly after that and followed it. While they were on the path, they spotted some hillybilly people swimming in the river . Their dog was with them and once the dog saw Chris and Joe, it got out of the water and jumped all over Chris with its muddy paws. Luckily, Chris and Joe escaped and continued on the path. Eventually, they ended up in a neighborhood and kept on going farther and farther until they reached Stygler Rd. They kept going until they saw a building that said "Huntington Banks". Then they realized that they were at the Huntington building in Easton! It took 2 hours for them to get that far so they decided to ride back home in amazement. On their ride home, they saw a girl who looked like Chubakah, so they really hurried home. They reached their own neighborhood in about 2 hours, but they were exhausted as hell so they went home. THE END!!

Ok well I made my xanga look a little kooler and I added about 5 songs to the stereo thing so CHECK THEM OUT!!! And I gotta go now so be sure to leave me some comments lol! Thx guys, cya later!

]]> 2005-08-11 15:52:31 2005-08-11 19:52:31 open Publish post 324806342 1 2005-08-12 11:56:00 2005-08-12 15:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622476004 1 2005-08-12 11:58:00 2005-08-12 15:58:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622479418 1 2005-08-13 19:31:00 2005-08-13 23:31:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 625068237 1 2005-08-13 21:06:00 2005-08-14 01:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 625210246 wow bout 3 of those entrys r from ur gf.. nice..lol hey man.. that story was off da chain lol well man im out.. call sumtime so we can fuckin hang out.. wanna play sum halo? yeah lets play sum halo.. WELL CMON .. OMG GGGGRRRR ARRGGG..lol my phone.. that was hillarious.. JASON HURRY THE FUCK UP WIT THAT SHIT..lmao good times bro.. aight after makin a huge fool of my self.. im gonna go.. later bro

David

]]> 1 2005-08-14 01:32:00 2005-08-14 05:32:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 625709980 1 2005-08-15 03:08:00 2005-08-15 07:08:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 627652557 H2holbro22 Sat, 13 Aug 2005 15:14:47 -04:00 Hey guys! I'm updating this again, wow go me! Alright so basically the past two days have been pretty great. It all started yesterday night when I went to BW3's with David, Christina, and her friend Sarah. We just chilled there and had food... obviously lol. Then we rented Freddy Got Fingered and The Exorcist and went to Christina's house. Well, I liked Sarah ever since I first saw her and everything...she is really nice too! So then we all watched the movie lol. Freddy Got Fingered is one of the funniest movies ever omg, you guys gotta see it! Well we got half way thru the movie before we had to leave So then we all gave our goodbyes, then David drove me back to my house. After that, we all joined a chat room cuz Sarah was sleeping over at Christina's house and we all wanted to talk. At 3:00, David snuck out and we were planning on riding my sister's electric scooter around the block just for fun lol. But it wouldnt start so we went pegging around the block a few times.

Ok well anyways, we planned to go to the pool around noon the next day, so I had to wake up at 10:00... I don't know how I pulled it off lol. Well since I havent been swimming in forever, I forgot about how small my swimming trunks would be... wow, they went up about half a foot above my kneecap lol. So I gotta buy new swimming trunks lmao... and we didnt go to the pool so we all went over to Christina's house again, ordered pizza and I got to see Sarah! And this time, I knew Sarah liked me back so I felt so much more comfortable around her. Ok we watched the rest of Freddy Got Fingered, then some of The Exorcist (omg that movie sucked), we watched like 1/10 of The Notebook, then some of Mean Girls. Stupid chick flicks lol! But it wasnt that bad at all. After Christina's house, I went to Hometown Buffet with David's family and ate lots of food. Then me, David, Sarah, Christina, Brice, Hilary, and Kris went to BW3's after that. I couldn't eat anything there tho lol cuz i was already full. Here I'll just list the random events that happened here becuz it would take me forever to explain all of them lol.... Brice stuck celery up his nose, sneezed it out, and ate it! We were bothered by a drunk nurse in the parking lot! We drove around the plaza while Kris hung on the back of the van while riding on a skateboard! Those are the main weird things that happened lol. Then after that, David dropped Hilary off and then he was gonna drop me off after that. By that time, I liked Sarah so much that I asked her out before I went inside. And now we are going out... and I'm really really happy! She is going on a trip to New York 2morrow at 4:00 so were trying to go see a movie before she leaves... wow a whole week without seeing her will be hard to deal with lol. Ok well I'm gonna go cuz I wanna be able to wake up early 2morrow. Ill cya around ppl and please leave some comments guys!

]]> 2005-08-05 03:10:27 2005-08-05 07:10:27 open Publish post 320217501 im happy for you.

rawr.

]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:12:00 2005-08-05 13:12:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 608008544 <3]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:15:00 2005-08-05 13:15:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 608011249 1 2005-08-05 21:52:00 2005-08-06 01:52:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 609300599 1 2005-08-06 03:13:00 2005-08-06 07:13:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 609835131 well ttyl,~Trai "The MasterPiece" Brown~]]> 1 2005-08-06 03:51:00 2005-08-06 07:51:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 609858648 1 2005-08-07 22:54:00 2005-08-08 02:54:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 612900203 1 2005-08-12 12:01:00 2005-08-12 16:01:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622484831 H2holbro22 Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:23:25 -04:00 Hey guys! I know it takes me forever to update this thing, but you gotta understand that sometimes its boring to update lol. Well not much has changed here... yesterday was fun as hell tho. First of all, David's family was out of town so me and Joe stayed overnight there. Without parents... you can do ANYTHING! So thats what we did. We got some TP and tried to get one of our friends, but are plans got spoiled thanks to the fuckin dogs lol. Ok but David was driving us down Sunbury Rd and he is barely going over the speed limit when he passes a cop car lol... then we look in the rearview mirror and we see the cops lights start flashing! Luckily the left and right lanes were separated by concrete things. So we turned into a street and parked and then everything was fine. Basically we just messed around outside all night. In the morning around 10, we went to Krogers and got some waffles and whipped cream... has anyone had blueberry waffles w/ whipped cream? It's pretty good.

Friday sucked ass lol cuz my dad was moving and I had to help him move everything into a U-Haul truck and then take it to the new apartment. It wasn't hard at all, but I did it from 10:00 to 3:00 without eating anything. AND it was so damn boring. It was kinda funny though cuz my dad told me to watch my step while I was putting the coach in the truck and he hit his head on the top of the truck like 5 seconds later lol. And today, I fell asleep during the day!! And right when I fell asleep... my dad came over and woke me up and said "I need you to help me move some more things" blahh blah blah.. thats the worst way to wake up lol.

Yeah I made another mix cd with lots of kool songs including this techno remix to Yeah which is SO AWESOME!!! It has so much bass that you gotta hold on to the handles on the car just to sit still. If I ever find out how to upload music, then I'll put it on my xanga but I dont know how. PLEASE tell me if you know how. Speaking of music, I've been listening to the old Fall Out Boy cd and it's really awesome so everyone should listen to it! I'm gonna get the new one soon.. yeah. Ok that should be enough for now! LeAvE sOmE cOmMeNtS plzzzz!!

]]> 2005-08-01 01:23:25 2005-08-01 05:23:25 open Publish post 317185331 You didn't do it you dork!! I'm sad now! oh well ill be over it in like a sec....well im getting ready to go to practice so ill have to talk to you later

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 09:24:00 2005-08-01 13:24:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599453618 1 2005-08-02 03:03:00 2005-08-02 07:03:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 601413433 HEY CHRiS! i HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU iN FOREVER!!!!! WE NEED TO HANG OUT AGAiN! WELL COMMENT BACK iF YOU WANT!!!

<33 KATiE

]]> 1 2005-08-02 20:57:00 2005-08-03 00:57:00 kAtE0143 [email protected] http://kate0143.xanga.com/ 0 6045670 0 602853986 1 2005-08-04 21:33:00 2005-08-05 01:33:00 BestSisters22 [email protected] http://bestsisters22.xanga.com/ 0 15489530 0 607218648 1 2005-08-06 23:26:00 2005-08-07 03:26:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 611171248 H2holbro22 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:09:43 -04:00 YEAHHHH!! I fixed the damn comment thing so you can all send me comments again. I found out that the poll thing was causing the problem... I'll get it back eventually but not right now. Wow me and David just snuck out of the house and right when I walked out the door, we saw and heard the sirens of a cop car from behind 2 houses! It's bad enough that wre not allowed outside, but the cop car was speeding thru our neighborhood for some reason lol. Let's see... I'll talk a little about how things are goin now... well I started driving school 2 weeks ago and it's really boring. I have to go 2 days per week, 4 hours each day. Next week is my last week! Driver's ed isnt really that bad cuz I met some new peeps that I can talk to whenever. I went to Cedar Point again for 1 day too, this time it was for my dad's company picnic. Remember how Cedar Point was awesome for me last time? This time it was living hell lol. Hold on, lemme get my list of all the bad things... ok

1) I had 2 hours of sleep... thats my own fault i guess lol.

2) I had a headache that lasted from the night before thru the whole day.

3) It decided to rain nonstop the WHOLE time we were there.

4) The lines were packed to the edges so we didnt get to go on any rides at all.

5) The free food was disgusting.

6) We spent more time driving there and back than we spent in the park itself, so its basically a waste of time.

Lol thats mainly all. Wow I'm really lazy lol. That's why I wanna drive SOOO bad. And to kill some time and earn some money, I'm actually trying to get a job at Pet Supplies Plus!!!!!! Yes now doesnt that sound like a great place to work?? You get to move dog food and other things all day and its the only place hiring that is half decent lol. Well it's definitly 4 in the morning right now so I'm gonna get to bed. Me and Josh stayed up last night chilling so I'm really tired. Btw before I go, I have something for everyone who likes Trapt... theyre coming out with a new cd in September and they released 1 main song... its awesome and its called Stand Up. I tryed to find it EVERYWHERE, but the only place I can find it is http://www.trapt.com/ . You can listen to the song over and over if you stay on there. Yeah well with that, I'm out! I'm gonna take a new pic once I get my dad's camera too so that will be kool. Cya later everyone!!!

]]> 2005-07-22 04:09:43 2005-07-22 08:09:43 open Publish post 310298168 1 2005-07-23 20:25:00 2005-07-24 00:25:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583261575 1 2005-07-24 00:13:00 2005-07-24 04:13:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 583635164 haha. ill c ya around. bye chris i heart u like a brother!!!!]]> 1 2005-07-24 00:45:00 2005-07-24 04:45:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583692433 hi chris.

sounds like a drag.

woo!

]]> 1 2005-07-25 10:18:00 2005-07-25 14:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 585795457 dude if you want a new awesome song check out WALKING DEAD by DJ Z TRIP and CHESTER BENNINGTON

Its my favorite song right now

and yeah my internet did fuck up for awhile, that sucked a ton of balls

]]> 1 2005-07-26 14:56:00 2005-07-26 18:56:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 588376996 1 2005-07-28 19:05:00 2005-07-28 23:05:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 593053176 hey chirs whats up nuttin here well just thought id leave you one ttyl

love you like friend

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 00:49:00 2005-08-01 04:49:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599124121 H2holbro22 Tue, 19 Jul 2005 14:52:50 -04:00 2005-07-19 14:52:50 2005-07-19 18:52:50 open Publish post 308366547 hey man heres a comment]]> 1 2005-07-22 03:23:00 2005-07-22 07:23:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 580548276 H2holbro22 Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:10:06 -04:00 Hey people! It's 2:22 right now and just woke up lol. Yeah I have a reason for going to bed so late last night. Ok listen up... I have a story to tell everyone lol. But remember... all of this is not to be told to anyone cuz it might cycle back to the victim. Ok well last night I'm just sitting on the computer listening to music and talking on AIM. Then David IMs me and tells me to meet him outside because Brian just got TPed. So I set everything up in the house to look like I'm asleep, grab the Cheezits, and then I sneak out. I walked down to Brian's house to see Brian and Joe in Joe's car. They told us that they found out who TPed him because they saw them drive away and yell something that obviously gave themselves away. Even though you need to be 18 to drive outside at 2:00, we got in Joe's car and decided to help Brian get revenge. We drove towards Kroger (I can't forget to mention the Rumpke truck that almost backed up into us. So we drove by him... Joe waved to him while I flicked him off lol). Once we were at Kroger, David and Brian ran inside and bought 48 rolls of TP. Ha you dont wanna know the excuse we had for buying all of that TP. Anyways, Joe drove to one of the kids houses (a kid that helped TP Brian) and we started throwing TP all over the trees and bushes. Me and David TPed the backyard while Joe and Brian TPed the front yard. Eventually, they came into the backyard and Brian was like, "Dude this isn't the right house... there isn't a basketball hoop in the front!" So were like damn...so we grabbed as much TP as possible from house and moved to the RIGHT house. That's where we seriously trashed the house up lol. We had a lot of spare TP so I even put some in their weeds. When we were done, it was like 3:15 and we weren't satisfied... so we got back in the car and drove to Meijer, and bought 48 more rolls of TP! By the way, the same kid who we TPed, called Brian's cell and asked him who the hell TPed his house. The kid got home right after we TPed him luckily lol... but Brian denied it anyways. Then we went to another kid's house and got ready to TP him. But thats when we noticed that the gas tank was empty...so we drove away and barely made it to a gas station. Since no1 else was on the road at that time, Joe turns the wrong way and starts driving on the complete wrong side of the road... it was hilarious. But then we go back to the kids house with a 1/4 tank of gas. This kid's house had so many trees so it was perfect to TP. So we TPed his house pretty bad and left. It was about 4 by this time so we decided to go back home before it got any later. Joe dropped everyone off at their houses, but I went to Joe's house for a sec so I could help him get out of trouble if his parent's were awake. Yeah and we also woke Ryan up so we could say Hi to him. After that, I left and ran home to my house and snuck back inside... my damn cat was meowing up a storm while I was opening the door tho. Basically, we got revenge x2 on them lol. But we also made some more targets that we are going after soon lol... so WATCH OUT!! nah j/k we usually only get people who go after us first. Well guys, I gotta go to an orthodontist appointment... I think I get to stop wearing my retainer! lol hopefully, but then after that I am starting my driving courses. So leave me some comments or something guys! Cya around!]]> 2005-07-11 15:10:06 2005-07-11 19:10:06 open Publish post 302630331 1 2005-07-11 20:09:00 2005-07-12 00:09:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 560685777 H2holbro22 Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:19:53 -04:00 Hola! I know I never write in my xanga... sorry about that. And btw, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna write an entry as long as that last one ever again lol. Unless I go somewhere else and have a lot to say... but anyways, how is everyone doing? I haven't been doing much lately. I wish I could drive but I gotta wait until October to get my license. Fortunatly, I am starting my driving courses on Monday, so I can get that out of the way. I want to get a Tiburon too... its about $25k though so I may as well give it up lol. I also want to get a job and I cant get one because I can't drive there Oh well I guess I have a few more months to be lazy and do whatever else I want lol. I might even get to go to Cedar Point again on Friday because of my dad's company picnic.Usually they go to Wyandot Lake or King's Island, but Cedar Point is much better.

I really don't feel like writing, but I'll end this off with a fact... if you think you aren't afraid of anything, then try driving in the car with Joe! He made some awesome illegal turns and used a turning lane to pass up a car! Me and Joe can both be wreckless once I get my driver's license lol... I seem to forget about the speed limit from time to time. It's funny tho. Ok well I'm gonna go drink some more limeade lol. That stuff is really good and its better than lemonade. Cya later guys and girls!

BTW... THE GUYS CANT BE THE BEST PART ABOUT SUMMER!!! I cant believe the poll is getting taken over like that. Oh well, keep on voting and we will see what happens...

]]> 2005-07-10 00:20:26 2005-07-10 04:20:26 open Publish post 301539685 1 2005-07-10 00:29:00 2005-07-10 04:29:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 557453187 1 2005-07-10 18:03:00 2005-07-10 22:03:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 558446010

1 note · View note

kandadiff · 2 years

Text

Palooza (2) No Drama In Our Lives

“Yea Damien I want you to tell your little friend” You show him your hand with no ring “I mean it’s over. K” You smile and before he can say anything you interrupt “and ugh you can do better” You tap jacks chest then keep my hand there feeling abs “hm” you nod in satisfaction “Do we have to stay in here?” Truth be told you didn't want to. While you wanted Edward to know you had taken off the ring, you didn’t want to deal with both him and GD right now. “Can’t you just come get us when its our turn.”

“No.” I say pushing Damien off of me again “Stop. Funhouse as a group is the 7th person to rehearse so just sit and wait.”

That was easier said than done. While we were indeed the 7th people set to rehearse on the large stage and we spread ourselves amongst the ampitheatre’s seats, we didn’t keep in mind just how long some people took to rehearse.

We were still on number 3 after 2 hours. Demi was on stage, belting like the whale she is and complaining she doesn’t think the back can hear her well. So she made 4 different assistants head to the back of the venue and even though they said they could hear her fine, she sung so loud that you couldn’t even hear yourself talking to Katya next to you. Thats when most if not all decided to go into there dressing room instead of listen to her.

Our dressing room had FUNHOUSE written on a sliding piece just below the star that had the numbers 16 inside of it. When we opened the dressing room we saw it was indeed big enough to house enough room for our makeup artists and stylists to sit comfortably and more then enough room for us right now. You plopped down on the couch while Hoodie looked in the fridge that was stocked sort of like a hotel fridge with a bunch of snacks and goodies. Honestly I think they treated us a little better then some of the other celebrities here because we didn't ask for ridiculous things in our dressing room. We sipped on coffee and snacks until we were called up.

We sat chatting between each other for a bit until Naomi got up. “Where are you going?” I asked eyeing her. I know she hadn’t been in the group long but everyone knew when waiting to rehearse, we all waited together. A few years ago Cassie and Hoodie wandered away and I chewed them out when they finally found there way back.

“Namjoon texted me.” She said holding up her phone “I’m going to see him really quick.”

“We have practice soon.” Makayla chimed up when she saw my jaw tighten. “Just see him after.”

“BTS goes on before us so when he has to leave ill come back.” She shrugged “no big deal.”

“If its no big deal just sit down.” Draven snapped annoyed. “Just fucking wait.”

“Relax.” she laughed and looked around the room “We are getting paid great money for this tour, we are in a literal pool of rich and famous people in our industry. Instead of wasting time in this dressing room we should be mingling.”

“Thats what the after party is for.” Cassie said eyeing me and Naomi rolled her eyes heading over to the door.

“I’ll be back for rehearsal, okay?” With that she stepped out of the room and eyes turned to me.

“It’s funny,” I said putting down my tea and leaned back in my chair as they announced for Post Malone to go on stage. “She's so eager to see Namjoon but just before this fucking tour started she was fucking some reject.”

Katya’s eyes widened. “What?!”

I nodded and fiddled on my phone passing it over. When it got to you, you saw an instagram profile of some very skinny white boy who looked like he was either trying to be a soundcloud rapper or a soundcloud rockstar. “I thought I recognized him, He tried out for Damien’s group as a drummer before he hired Tatianna.” Tatianna was the drummer for Sweet Trauma, she was quiet - mostly wore leather and was the only gay girl that didn’t hit on you. “They’ve been fucking for months.”

“Wow.” Draven scoffed “and she's so fucking upset about me.” She shook her head getting up and locking the dressing room door, she pulled out a back of cigarettes that lay on the vanity and took out a long stick offering it to the room before setting it back own. She grabbed a lighter from the table and lit it, taking a drag. “I met her brother when I was filming and hes a cool guy so we hooked up and I guess we’re dating.” She shrugged. “She's so damn pissed about it.” she shook her head “I hope she catches a fucking STD.”

Hoodie was reminded of amber calling her an STD- riddled slut and she sighed pushing that memory from her mind. “Well if she does.” I said running my hands through my hair “She won’t get the chance to give it to Joon, I told her she better tell him soon or I will.”

“Thats a good idea.” Makayla said from her spot on the couch, she was being usually quiet. “No one deserves to be cheated on.” I looked at her and nodded, while the rest of you had no clue about Tyler’s indiscretion - she told me when I went to pick her up this morning. “You should tell him now.”

“Count me in,” Draven puffed on her cigarette the gray smoke floating up towards the ceiling. Cassie opened a window. “I’ll fucking tell him.”

“No” I shake my head “I will.”

“He should hear it from her.” Hoodie pouted “Not you.”

“I agree.” Katya nodded. “Who knows if Namjoon will even believe you, he doesn’t even like you anymore.”

“Me and him have sort of made up because me and Yoongi are trying again.” Katya rolled her eyes “and i’m giving her a chance to do it.” I said simply and looked at you “am I wrong?”

0 notes

gendice · 6 years

Note

(1) oh honey I feel your struggle. I'm a writer in this fandom too and like... I KNOW my stuff is good. I know it. And I have spent MONTHS on fics before only to post them to a lukewarm reception. It sucks because there are so many factors. So many! Posting time vs timezones, how many followers you have, the off chance of a popular blog reblogging it.. etc. And the most frustrating thing is sometimes I'll get a good reception on one website but NONE on another site, for the exact same fic!

The unfortunate thing is that’s just kinda .. how it is. It blows dude like fandom artists don’t really have to face that? The barrier to entry for them is so much lower I think. I’ve been writing for a very long time and I’ve sort of come to terms now with the fact that sometimes a story is just only going to get so many likes/comments/etc. Even when I think it deserves more or even when I feel like I haven’t gotten back nearly as much as I poured into it in the end I just try to remember that I’m writing for me more than anyone else. Everything I write makes me a better writer, so even if I post a fic and it only gets half the notes I’d hoped for, I’m still glad to have written it and put it out there. I’m still glad for the people who did read it and love it. I’m not trying to be preachy or anything, its just hard watching you struggle over something I’ve also struggled with for so very very long :/

Even established writers struggle with this! Like, I have a fic on ao3 that’s got 1000+ kudos and yet the Tumblr post for it slipped completely under the radar with few notes. You just can’t predict the whims of the internet sometimes. The only thing you can do when you’re sad about the reception of a story is to keep writing. The more you write the bigger you audience grows!! It’s the only constant that’s stayed with me from fandom to fandom. If you just keep writing, the readers will come.

sorry for the wall of text!! I really thought your story was lovely, and had a unique style to it. I hope you keep on writing no matter what, from one writer to another. Don’t be discouraged :)

hhhh h h ok i don’t want to discredit artists bc i know they spend a lot of time and effort on their works too but i think it’s easier for them to get notes/reception bc their works are visual and people can see what it is at a glance and decide whether they like it or not instead of having to spend actual time reading a bunch of words lol

but anyway you’re right and logically i DO know there are plenty of factors to how well a fic will be received but also i can’t help but worry that it’s my fault that they’re doing so poorly?? i worry that the content that im putting out isn’t what people want to see which is the reason why my fics do so badly and, idk, i want to know what im doing wrong and what i can do to make it better but i just can’t? im not trying to say that my fics are better than those that get more hits/kudos but i can’t help it when i look at some more popular fics and i try to study them but i dont get what people like about them so much?? sorry this just makes me sound like a jackass but it’s probably just personal preference and mine being so different from the majority of the fandom’s which is also why i can’t write stuff that people like

god i know everyone says that you should write for yourself and part of me does which is why i stick so closely to the style that i do but also it’s just,, numbers in the form of hits/kudos/notes serve as affirmation that my stuff is good, and it’s the only thing my flimsy-ass self esteem can rely on because i absolute hate hate h a t e the stuff that i make sometimes and i doubt myself so much all the time so when i see that a fic does well, it tells me that hey this isnt so bad, but when i see a fic flop it’s like, confirmation that my stuff stinks big time which is. its a sucky feeling. i know it’s not good to have that kind of mentality but it’s just the way that i am??? lets be real here like i can say in confidence that im a thirsty bitch and i do want people to read and like and kudos my stuff and my self esteem gets kicked repeatedly every time my fics flop so. h yea h

honestly if it werent for my followers on here (sorry 2 everyone) and me shoving my fics in their faces i probably wont even get more than 100 hits on my fics lol and i feel kind of bad bc a part of me wants to deserve the hits and kudos that i get instead of having them just bc i kept yelling at my followers about my fics (i kind of feel like those people who would hold up the news and yell hear ye in medieval times or whatever) but. idk im conflicted cos i know this is one kind-of efficient way to get people to notice my fics. but part of me feels Bad when i do so too but idk. its also bc of this that i refuse to tag people or ask them directly to rb my fic posts bc i’d feel really guilty and ashamed and i don’t want to use people in that way?? and i’m not close friends with a lot of people on here either especially popular content creators so honestly i don’t think a lot of writers/blogs with large followings would rb my fic posts either so basically im just fucking myself over lol

god sorry im ranting and i know i don’t technically have a right to bitch so much since as i’ve said before 1) my stuff isn’t as good as some other people who i know face this same problem and honestly deserve so much more attention for their works and 2) i havent even been writing for that long so i really am not allowed to complain but hh h h idk i just get super frustrated over this i cant help it

#anon #answers #sorry i am RANTING again #i know i should change my mindset but this isnt just my mindset for writing.#its a regular mindset thats been with me since i first created content for anything and its just that now its been carried over to writing #i want to change but i literally dont have confidence in anything that i do #anyway thank you so much for your kind words regardless and i really appreciate you sending this and trying to help <3

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jinshexedupworld-blog · 6 years

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Kdrama actor and Kpop artist confession. If you’re a fan of any Kceleb PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH

Edit: I was pretty direct in my original post but after some thought I have gone back through and censored the actors and artists names just a bit. I have a story to tell. Not sure anyone will hear it. Not sure they will believe it or even care but I’m going to tell it anyway because I have to get this off my chest. I studied for a couple of years at uni abroad in Korea. Koreans for fucks sake are some of the most antisocial bunch if you’re a foreigner I have to say. But thats not what this is about. I happened to make friends with this one guy, Andrew. He is part Korean but also had lived in Britain somewhere or other too so he was more welcoming to me. Seeing as he was almost my only friend there we quickly became close. Nice guy, a bit on the quirky side and didn’t talk much about his personal life to the point it was a little odd. He was very, very secretive. In fact the only really personal things he talked about was his job, school and the fact that he was a member of the LGBT community. When we would hang out it was always at my dorm or we would meet at a coffee shop or someplace. He never invited me to his place. I even got a wee bit frustrated with it and confronted him about it one day. He got more than a little nervous at that and made all these lame excuses about his room mates being busy and he didn’t want to disturb them or that we wouldn’t have much fun there. I was a bit annoyed at this but I let it slide. He was still a nice guy after all and my only close friend there and I enjoyed him. We had fun together. He was constantly getting texts and phone calls from people he called his friends or room mates. He even had a boyfriend that I knew literally nothing about! I felt a little left out. I would ask about them or about meeting them and there was always some vague explanation about them and some excuse why we couldn’t meet. At this point I had known him almost a year and still didn’t even know their names! Not even his boyfriends name! Then one day I asked to borrow his phone and he was unnecessarily protective of it. Yea I get it we’re all weird about anyone else having our phones but come on geez I was having transportation issues , had a dead phone battery and just needed to make a quick call. Long story short I get his phone and make my call. When I clicked end his contact list pops up and theres names in it I recognize. K-idol names. A mix of actors and Kpop artists. I just figure maybe hes some kind of fanboy and maybe he and his mysterious friends use celebrity name handles. Sorry but Kpop fans can be weird and obsessive sometimes, ya know? And he’s just a college boy. Who is he going to know really? Meanwhile Andrew had been distracted by someone he knew who had approached him and they were busy talking away. So my curiosity got the best of me and his screen hadn’t gone black yet, I still had access. So I go on a little snooping spree through his phone trying my best to not look suspicious. Yes I know I’m a bad person but I’m human what can I say? I kid you not, this guy has selca pics out the ass literally probably hundreds of himself with several Korean actors and idols. I couldn’t even mentally take in all of them. I know there were many many with E♦♦ members. I saw at least one with P♦♦♦ H♦♦♦♦ S♦♦ I think his name is? The actor and Z♦♦ guy and I think there was another Z♦♦ member in one of them too if I remember right. There were many with P♦♦♦ B♦ G♦♦, a few with N♦♦ members, one with who I think was a B♦♦ member and quite several with Y♦♦ S♦♦♦♦ H♦. Even several completely random mixed up ones. I was nervous and hurrying faster than my brain can process but I specifically remember one of Andew, B♦♦♦ B♦♦♦ H♦♦♦, B♦ G♦♦ and S♦♦♦♦ H♦ and someone else I didn’t recognize sitting on a couch laughing like they were having a grand ol time. I’m not even much of a Kceleb person but that one shocked me. He had another of K♦♦ J♦♦♦ D♦♦ and B♦ G♦♦ together. And thats just the ones I seen before I got nervous about getting caught. I have to say I was officially intrigued by him though after that. And they didn’t seem like fan pics! That’s what got me most. They looked too comfortable. And they didn’t look like they were taken at any sort of event, concert, fanmeet etc. They were all in normal clothes and sans makeup, in some they even had drink glasses and looked like they could have been in the comfort of their own home. Over the next few months, Andrew did finally start talking to me about it more. He happened to be a childhood friend of a K celeb. Somehow it all snowballed from that. Now he lives with a few of them and is dating one. I won’t go so far as to say which one but he has been for almost 3 years now. I found out he hides behind a “fan” account on Twitter under the name Guksu or JongdaesByuns … or Byunz maybe or some shit like that. Or thats what it used to be at least, I can’t say for certain now. I followed him for a bit before I deleted my Twitter account. I always found it funny he hid behind a fan account for all the people he actually knows. He explained to me that he does it more so for the purpose of supporting those he knows personally and for defending them and speaking out against wrongdoings {I’ll get to that shortly}, and from what I seen he really does. And of course when you’re in uni theres always boredom and the need for time passing. And though I was never much of a Twitter person either, it certainly passes time when you’re bored to death. He’s had several stalkers on there try to expose him. Fuck knows how they even knew because he always denies or is vague from what I’ve seen. And I even got to visit his house and meet a couple of these people . Those I mentioned above, maybe some others even I’m not sure, are all associated with him. I’ve never been a huge fan of K idols myself but I was around uni enough to recognize many, many of them and know some of their work. It’s still kind of weird finding out celebrities are friends with other idols you never suspected they would be. Made me laugh myself a bit at all the stupid fuckin fanwars I would overhear at uni. Fuck if people only knew. I’m not going to say a lot of shit on here because I know how crazy Kfans are and no one will probably believe this shit anyway. Fuck I saw it for myself and I still am in shock so I wouldn’t even blame anyone. But for what its worth, I’m putting it out there. Believe it or don’t, it’s whatever. Doesn’t really change my life any either way except hoping I will feel better having put this out there. Now onto my reasoning A few months ago I had to go back home and Andrew and I had a bit of a falling out before I left . Not going to get into that but we haven’t kept in contact since. But some of the things he told me still haunts me. About the Korean entertainment industry, both music and drama. The way these people are treated. I even heard it from two of them firsthand. There is so much I want to say but I have heard horror stories about what Korean entertainment companies do to people who speak out against them. I don’t really want to risk that. But if any of you watch Kdrama or listen to Kpop I hope you will keep in mind the amount of suffering those idols go through for your entertainment. The working until they pass out or sick, then being pulled up off the ground and told to get back to work. {side story: I was at Andrew’s house one night when one of the above mentioned people called another asking for a ride home from a set because he had worked 70+ hours straight and passed out several times. } Caking on more and more makeup to hide the fact that they are deathly exhausted. The physical, mental and sexual abuse. Yes sexual. And I’m not talking about isolated incidents. I’m talking about these things being the daily lives of K actors and Kpop artists. And absolutely everything that gets said about them publicly are lies. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G-. If it’s in any way personally related to them and you hear it , then its a fucking publicity lie. Where they live and their homes are lies. The cars they drive are lies. All set up. I mean considering how crazy and stalkery Kfans are and the fact that so many of them don’t know their boundaries or respect privacy, because yes I have seen this for myself so this much I can understand. But it goes much deeper than that. They don’t date who it is told to you that they date. This is probably the biggest one. Their real dating lives are kept creepily under lock and key and the relationship rumors all of you hear are always fake. A.L.W.A.Y.S. Sometimes even marriages and family lives are fake and set up. More so if its an LGBT idol. It’s seriously crazy on the verge of psychotic how far its taken to control these idols lives. And its because everything is considered a scandal in Korea. And fans go crazy over absolutely everything and drop and shit talk their idols over the most ridiculous shit. So these places they are contracted with go to extreme measures to have complete control over what the public knows. Some of them are gay, maybe a lot of them. But hey guys in the entertainment industry are much more likely to be gay I will tell you that now. I was in theater in middle school, high school and uni for close to 10 years and I probably knew less than 5 males in it that whole time who were NOT gay, or claimed they weren’t anyway. Gay men love the arts industries. Not trying to be stereotypical but its kind of a fact. And they’re good at it! So there ya go. I know how anti-LGBT Kfans tend to be so let me tell you, get yourself the fuck over it cause you have gay idols. Probably many. You being hard on them over that is just making their already miserable lives even worse. My only real reason for posting this is to just get all that shit off my chest. I’m not doing this for attention because honestly I couldn’t give two fucks in space what Kfans think. I don’t listen to Kpop or watch Kdramas and since I am no longer in Korea I’m not really exposed to it much at all so I don’t give a flying fuck what the fans of it think of me. And I don’t care to or have time for dealing with their crazy asses. I do want people to know what their idols go through for them just because I think its really fucked up and you all should know if you actually do care about these people. I won’t be responding to any replies or answering questions so don’t waste your time. I needed to get this out there, simple as that. I have lived carrying this with me for awhile now. It gets heavy guys. Really fucking heavy. It just makes me sick that human beings have to endure slave-like lives for those companies and theres really nothing we can do about it. Fuck its 2018 and this shit still goes on. I doubt this post will even get anyones attention but I guess in the very least I got it off my chest. Edit: Yea I know I maybe just exposed him myself but I don’t even know that he’s still active anymore. I haven’t had my Twitter account in quite some time. And he doesn’t use his full name or say much on there personally anyway so I’m not too worried. And like I said, we had a falling out so take that as you will.

Also a final side note for anyone who read this all the way through and isn’t too busy bitching me out: I have seen some of them scrolling through his Twitter profile/feed/whatever before. Several times actually. So yeah they do fuckin see the things you post.

#kdrama #kpop #korean celebrities

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reactingwithexo · 7 years

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exo as boyfriends (ot9)

luna208: Hey i was wondering if u could please do what dating exo would be like but like in bullet points for each member? 😊🤗

Xiumin:

♦ supportive all the way

♦ likes to go on simple yet intimate dates

♦ not the best at texting but will try

♦ probably likes more to talk via skype or something

♦ soft car duets

♦ needs some alone time sometimes

♦ lots of smiles

♦ casual

♦ great at hugging and sorts

♦ always smells good

♦ organizes stuff in your house

♦ whispers while caressing your hair

♦ knows how to pleasure you *wink*

♦ lets out a chuckle everytime he sees you happy and excited

♦ doesn’t understand when you just insanely wants to suddenly cuddle (because he’s too cute)

♦ mindblowing just out of this world kissing

Suho:

♦ #ideal

♦ randomly texts you jokes he just thought of and the boys’ reactions

♦ you’re judged by all EXO members

♦ tends to remember the important dates

♦ fancy

♦ the type to start the kissing with little smiles and suddenly get really into it

♦ wants to travel with you

♦ random at a daily basis

♦ sometimes you two just sit down and he opens up about all the pression and stress he is into

♦ gets really upset when arguing

♦ has a bunch of little habits

♦ always grabs your hand

♦ makes you laugh

♦ eye smile

Yixing:

♦ we all know he’s a butt guy so yea

♦ expect lots of idk butt action after you’re close (lol wat)

♦ skypes you and eventually falls asleep hearing your voice

♦ you’re constantly mad at him for overworking

♦ he’s constantly warming your heart with compliments

♦ sweet mumbles

♦ gentleman

♦ those hips tho

♦ knows what you’re thinking while watching him dance

♦ takes advantage of that hehe

♦ listens to everything you say

♦ is always in touch

♦ shows you a piece he’s been working on

♦ always sending you cute selfies

♦ really REALLY good kisser

♦ wants you to have everything of the best

Baekhyun:

♦ never shuts up

♦ obligatory duets

♦ inside jokes af

♦ you’ll have to remind him of that date you two had scheduled but he’s an hour late because he’s playing games

♦ uses those fingers right if you know what i mean

♦ likes to just go somewhere not that crowded to feel ordinary with you

♦ plays with your hair

♦ is always caressing some part of your body

♦ smirks playfully

♦ full of sweet moments

♦ appreciates when you take care of him

♦ impressions while you two are watching something

♦ you slowly discover every layer he has

♦ cutest smile

Chen:

♦ you two do charity together

♦ picks up sexual vibes fast

♦ screams lots

♦ whines lots

♦ laughs lots

♦ knows how to persuade you

♦ manages to take a lot of his time for you

♦ is interested in your opinions

♦ also car duets

♦ netflix and chill

♦ kisses everywhere

♦ isn’t that cheesy

♦ lowkey spontanious

Chanyeol:

♦ shows off his many skills

♦ is lowkey insecure of your feelings

♦ is always thinking of you

♦ ‘i wrote you a song’

♦ always tries to make you happy

♦ gets mad easily if he’s tired

♦ will only open up after a while in the relationship

♦ constantly buys you stuff overseas because it reminded him of you

♦ that damn deep voice

♦ takes your breath away

♦ always jamming to something

♦ can go in the slow pecks direction OR

♦ the super intense makeout session type of vibe

♦ feels lucky he has you

♦ giggles after doing something cute

Kyungsoo:

♦ appreciates pretty much everything you say

♦ smiles to himself when he remembers some moment with you

♦ expect lots of movie nights

♦ kisses on the cheek

♦ you calling him cute and squishy

♦ doesn’t get mad that often

♦ tries to cook for you

♦ can spend hours kinda just kissing but it’s so good

♦ feels weird when you ask him to sing for you

♦ but sings without noticing

♦ loves to watch/hear you excited about something

♦ eyes sparkling

♦ ULTIMATE SASSY GENTLEMAN

Jongin:

♦ this fucker

♦ shy at first

♦ most handsome smile ever actually makes your soul leave your body and you get addicted

♦ pouts

♦ always showing you new music

♦ wants you to meet his children aka puppies

♦ prob gives you for christmas and you think aw how cute but it’s actually just an excuse for him to have another one and he used you as a disguise for getting another puppy

♦ sometimes he doesn’t pick up his phone for like 12 hours because he’s playing games

♦ you’re always reminding him to have a limit when practising

♦ skype/facetime calls really late at night

♦ sleeping together (as in literally sleeping)

♦ cuddles

♦ messy hair

♦ always lowkey horny

♦ neck kisses

♦ also long kisses

♦ teases 24/7

♦ random in depth talks

Sehun:

♦ sweet sassiness

♦ prepare for confidence overload

♦ shy and smol bean when you’re out with your friends and there are guys too

♦ gets small random gifts for you all the time

♦ “here i got you these socks. Didn't you say your feet are always cold”

♦ pulls out some weird ass cute socks smh gets really shy but also fucking proud when you wear the stuff he got you even accessories

♦ Vivi listens to you more than to him sorry mr. Oh

♦ Isn’t really into pda but def will hold your hand outside or again use you as a arm/ body rest of you are like waiting in to buy bubble tea

♦ he will def make you go on many bubble tea dates

♦ bc he “started the trend”

♦ when you feel down or seem to have had a bad day he go grabs your fav taste for you to drink bc it normally makes him happy so he thinks it makes you happy too but he isnt sure and he is just trying to be a good boyfriend

♦ If you are in a cuddle mood he will make it as if its obvious bc who can resist oh sehun and he will tease you so long until you slap his arm and tell him to just come cuddle and he will let

♦ bc a) you just stopped listening and clinged onto him and

♦ b) you clinging onto him makes him go so mushy he is like DAMN RIGHT SHE WANTS ME

♦ afternoons with legs entagled and each on their phone

A/N: aH THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN, I actually love making these bulletpoints post stuff, I know it’s been such a long time but I was taking a break from tumblr, hope you guys like this <3

Shotout to @damned-fangirl for the noodle insight, love ya

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fairywings · 7 years

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long post sorry

tagged by: @rosecolouredgirls thank u this is fun

tagging: uhhh @horrorgenre @ashietoashes @furbygf @spitacid

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag others!

the last

1. drink: uhh i was at a party last night and the last drink i had was a smirnoff ice sangria it was v good highly recommend 2. phone call: my dad 3. text message: to my boyfriend: “have you watched white gold” bc i just started it on netflix and i like it ed westwick is my mcm 4. song you listened to: i was listening to a whole atmospheric acoustic playlist uhh but the only one i remember from it is drown by marika hackman it’s beautiful 5. time you cried: uhhh i havent cried in a while actually? so idk not sure 6. dated someone twice: nooooo but thats not. uncharacteristic of me. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no i’ve only kissed ppl i’ve been in a relationship with lol 8. been cheated on: no thank god my fragile heart couldnt take it 9. lost someone special: hmmm i mean i kinda lost most of my childhood friends bc we dont go to the same school anymore so we lost touch but its ok i made a bunch of new friends :) 10. been depressed: undiagnosed but. every late fall/winter i’m Very down 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: havent thrown up yet i always try and b careful dont wanna disappoint my momma but i went to a party in june and i hate beer so much i had to down some and Almost threw up

3 favourite colours

12. (wine) red 13. periwinkle 14. millennial pink lmao

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yea :)) 16. fallen out of love: yes i didnt like it at all 17. laughed until you cried: i always laugh until i cry 18. found out someone was talking about you: yea when my ex broke up w me all the bitches in my grade were talking abt me whatever 19. met someone who changed you: uhhhh not this year i dont think 20. found out who your friends are: honestly all my friends r Good and im forever thankful 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: uh i mean yeah my ex and my current bf r both my friends on fb

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most like at least 80% 23. do you have any pets: nah im allergic to the entire world 24. do you want to change your name: no marie’s cute i like it and my mom Loves it she says its the most beautiful name in the world i would break her heart if i did change it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: a had a sleepover w my closest friends at my place and we did a picture scavenger hunt in my neighbourhood and watched movies and did each other’s makeup it was so fun 26. what time did you wake up: 10 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: drinking a smirnoff sangria and having a good time at a party and watching my bf getting absolutely Plastered and taking 3 shots of vodka in a row 28. name something you can’t wait for: summer hfhsfdhlf 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: twenty? minutes ago? idk we just watched hidden figures together 31. what are you listening to right now: by night - puzzle muteson 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhhh yeah i’m friends w a thomas and a tomas they r both great thomas’s is nickname is his last name but tomas’s nickname is tom so yeah he’s my tom he’s a very friendly guy we went to chinatown together once and had wonton soup 33. something that is getting on your nerves: school lol 34. most visited website: tumblr netflix n youtube 35. hair colour: brown. its a nice brown tho. natural highlights and everything 36. long or short hair: uhh shoulder length 37. do you have a crush on someone: i kinda uh like my bf 38. what do you like about yourself: my appearance i am very vain 39. piercings: i mean.. ears 40. blood type: who knows 41. nickname: i dont have one sadly marie is Short Enough but i have one friend who likes calling me marijuana 42. relationship status: in a relationship w a guy named miles 43. zodiac: scorpio 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: shameless 46. tattoos: none But I Want One 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: nah 50. sport: swimming and alpine skiing and uh sometimes i run lol 51. vacation: i’ve been a few places mostly in the caribbean and around the states i went to san francisco in august and saint lucia in january and im going somewhere this winter but idk where yet 52. pair of trainers: uhh i guess i wear my stan smiths all the time? not sure what this question means lmao

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: i had ice cream a while ago 54. drinking: water 55. I’m about to: watch ted talks on youtube and watch personal shopper on netflix later maybe 56. waiting for: someone to answer my fucking texts lmao 57. want: hot chocolate 58. get married: i’d love to get married 59. career: im an unemployed student but im gonna b looking for a job soon a starbucks just opened near my house but im waiting to turn 16

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: both r so great in their own way. cant choose. 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller lol i’d die for all tall people 63. older or younger: a little older is always nice. miles is a few months younger than me tho but its all the same and im p much the oldest in my year anyways 64. nice arms or nice stomach: uhh arms 65. hook up or relationship: relationship definitely 66. troublemaker or hesitant: i like a balanced middle

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: dont wear em 70. turned someone down: uh like romantically? kinda? but not directly. i didnt tell him no i just got in a relationship with someone else 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: havent had the chance 73. had your heart broken: yea. 74. been arrested: no i am too scared to do anything illegal 75. cried when someone died: yea a guy at my school killed himself last yr and i cried a Lot 76. fallen for a friend: yeah lol im dating my best friend rn

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: not really 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: sure 80. santa claus: no my mom told me he was a lie when i was 4 and complaining about how he didnt get me everything on my list 81. kiss on the first date: yeah so far always have 82. angels: no but its a pleasant concept

OTHER:

84. eye colour: brown 85. favourite movie: fight club or mamma mia!

#about me #long post //#tagged in

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daddyconfessions · 5 years

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sugar tales: Lady Ratchet

I met LADY RATCHET on CL about several years ago. It was the good old days when a guy could post an ad and not worry about it being deleted. Things went quick with Lady Ratchet too. After a few days of emails and text, I picked her up from some gated apts and took her to an upscale restaurant. It was chilly that night. She had on a fur coat and a long dress that hugged her figure. Dark skinned sister with hazel eyes. Looking back on it I’d say she was hiding something underneath, but I never got the dress off to see.

As we walk into the restaurant we both noticed Sway from MTV sitting at a table surrounded by a bunch of girls and some dudes. Sway was a VJ and reporter at MTV for awhile. He also reports for something else but can’t remember what. Has his own radio show now.

We get seated and order drinks. By the time they come, we spark up what could have been a pretty decent conversation. But every few minutes she gazed over at the table Sway was at. She made little comments like, “Damn ain’t no room over there for me” and “I wonder how long he’s here for.” I should have been offended but tbh I was just really getting into sugaring so I was very excited to even be taking a chick out. Feeling all lucky and stuff. She puts in an order for food and I just order an appetizer since I wasn’t really hungry. The waiter asks for the menu but she wants to keep hers. That was a precursor for things to come.

The food arrives and she takes a few bites as we talk. When the waiter comes back and asks if we’re ok she grabs and looks at other dishes. “I think I’m getting something else,” she says, perusing the dishes. The waiter asked if something was wrong with her plate and she said no. “I just want something else.” He tried to take the dish as he left but she wouldn’t let him.

We get back to talking again but now she’s really staring at Sways table off and on, tuning out our conversation. A few people have gone over and asked for his autograph and others have gathered around the table.

The dish comes and she moves her other plate to the side. She takes a few bites as we chat about what we both want out of the relationship in between he trying to see whats going on at Sway’s table. 10 minutes later the waiter has returned and now she’s ordering a 3rd drink by this point. She hadn’t finished the other two she’d ordered. “I always wanted to taste this,” she says. The waiter looked at me and I shrugged. “Get her what she wants.” Again he tries to clear the table but she doesn’t want to lose anything yet.

When the waiter comes back with the drink she’s found another dish to order. Lady Ratchet’s only taken a few bits of the last dish. This time when he leaves he makes a fuss about the table. “Ma’am you won’t have room for the dish when I come back. Can we at least put some things in a doggie bag?” She accepts and the poor chap disappears again.

“Damn I should have brought my CD,” she tells me looking over at Sway. “Oh you sing?” I ask, sipping on one of her unfinished drinks I’ve commandeered. “Yes,” she tells me and she starts humming a few verses to some song she wrote.

“What do you think?” she asks. I think she needs to keep her day job. But I say, “You sound good girl. You gone be famous.”

The waiter returns with a few cartons for the excess food as well as another waitress carrying her latest dish. The waitress sits it in front of me but our waiter says, “No its for her.” The waitress looks at me quizzically then smirks. I happen to glance at the table across from us and the folks over there have taken a keen interest in our table top which now looks like a buffet gone wrong.

Before the waiter and waitress can leave she wants another drink. They take the order and leave and I’m sure they have a pretty interesting conversation in the kitchen, much to my chagrin.

“I’ma go over there,” she announces. “Next bitch gets up from the table.” Then something snaps inside me. Not sure what. Maybe it’s the alcohol from her drink but my inner hood comes out. “Why?” I ask. “He’s got a dozen girls over there,” I say nodding towards the table. “And all of them look better than you. So take another sip of your drink and try some more of the delicious food I’m buying.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” she says and prissy now. Then adds something to the affect, “I didn’t mean to make you jealous.”

“You’re not making me jealous,” I remember saying. “You’re just being disrespectful.”

“You’re right baby,” she concedes and for the remainder of the evening she continues to order shit but leaves her aspirations of being a R&B singer and groupie alone. We get back to talking. Lady Ratchet wants someone to help her get an apartment and a car. No problem. I got it. My father always told me to listen to a person and they’ll tell you everything you want to know. I listen to LR and turns out she’s lost both apt and car being irresponsible. In addition to getting them she wants them paid for monthly. She’s starting a new job that following Monday so if I take care of those big bills as well as lights, etc., she’ll be good. As we dive into the conversation further I find out she’s skipped out on a few places before the lease was up. The last 2 cars got repo’d.

Geez I can pick them. It would be a recurring theme for years to come.

“CHECK PLEASE,” I signal to the waiter as he walks by. I can tell this isn’t going anywhere. My goals changed as well. I quickly go from rescuing this groupie chick to simply hitting the kitty a few times and dumping her. I was more savage back then. Not my finer moment.

The check comes and the waiter clears his throat as he says, “That’ll be $256.23”.

Usually they don’t announce the amount. I smile back as he puts the bill on the table in front of me. I think he’s going to leave but he stays behind. “Yea….I can take that for you now sir”. I’m tell him to come back in a minute and bring some more cartons for Lady Ratchet over here. He comes back in less than a minute. “Is payment ready sir?” he asks, dropping the cartons on the table. I pull out a wad of cash and drop $300. “Keep the change,” I tell him.

He returns with a plastic bag to hold all of the cartons of food this chick has ordered. “Oh,” she tells me. “Ima eat good for the next few days.”

I bet. We walk out with all the extra food cartons in bags, looking like we just went shopping for a bunch of shoes or something.

The sugar gods must have been laughing because outside we run into Sway, chatting up some fine ass Middle Eastern chick. Lady Ratchets seizes the opportunity, “Hold these,” she says, shoving the bags into me. I take them as she runs over to Sway who was clearly well on his way to getting some Persian kitty. Bastard.

“Excuse me,” she says. “Are you Sway? “

“Yes I am,” he says. She starts chatting him up. His chicks looking displaced along with me now. I walk up looking like a fucking loser with all these bags and shit. I ask him if that’s his voice I hear on Boondocks. He smiles and does a quick impersonation for me. I thank him and I become a groupie for a minute as I shake his hands. I start to say something but Lady Ratchet chimes in asking if he’s looking for any new talent. I look over at the displaced chick he was talking to and think “He’s got all the talent he needs tonight.”

Then Lady Ratchet drops to a new low. She starts humming a few notes from her wack ass song. Sway’s like

The he says some dismissive shit like, “ That’s good that’s good. Keep working on that.” Just curving that ass low key style. I manage to drag her thirsty ass away and we head to the car. “Damn. Damn. Damn” she’s saying. I put all the food in my trunk and get in the car. “Dammmmmnnn” she cries again. “I wish I had my CD. Fuck.”

“Its alright baby,” I say. But really I’m thinking you need some singing lessons. As we head towards her house we pass by a sex store. She wants go in. “I never been in one of those before,” she says. I make a U turn and pull into the parking lot. Inside she looks at all the lingerie and sex toys before stopping at the shoes. “Heeeeeeyyyy I want these,” she says indicating a pair of clear bottom stripper stilettos with 6 inch heels. They want $400 for them. I’m like, “Is your job this Monday stripping?” She says no. She just likes the shoes. I tell her, “Then where are you going to wear these heels at? She can’t even really wear these to club without people trying to pick you up.” I generally don’t care how a SB spends the money I give her or what she wants to buy. But, no way was a buying this homeless chick a pair of $400 shoes. That’s all the miscellaneous fees she’ll need for her apartment. She frowns and we settle on a dildo and a rabbit.

As we head out I say something slimely like, “When can I use those on you?” She’s like, “We can get a room tonight.” Sweet. I make a straight line to the motel. Inside the room my dick is hard as a rock and Im wondering if the those toys need batteries. She only pulls off her coat and gets on the bed though. I take off my shoes and my shirt leaving on my Tshirt and jeans.

I spend the next hour watching TV in a cheap hotel. Like “Motel and Chill”. Each time I try to get the dress off or kiss or anything she tells me she just wants to chill. Even tells me since she’s staying with her aunt she sleeps on the couch. She has no privacy whatsoever and this is the first alone time she’s had.

This shit goes on for about an hour. Just laying in the bed watching CNN and music videos and stuff. Finally I throw in the towel and start getting dressed. But she doesn’t want to leave. We go another 30 minutes before I insist we leave since I won’t be getting any kitty. We get back in the car and head back to her place. At the apartments I pull up to to the gate and ask her for the code. “I don’t have it,” she tells me. “We have to wait for someone to go in.”

Come on man! So I back up and wait in one of the parking spots by the leasing office. Car after car passes by on the street but none pull in. 45 minutes later I’ve asked the question “Uh, you can’t call someone to come open the gate or give you the code?” 3 times. Finally she tells me they or whomever she’s staying with refuses to give her the code. She doesn’t even have a key to the place but someone will get up and let her in. Says they don’t trust her. “See Daddy, that’s why I need you to get me these things so we won’t have these problems.” I guy comes out a side gate, gets into a parked car and drives away. “We can’t use that gate?”I ask. “No,” she replies. “They are locked and you can only get out if you open it from the inside.” I inspect the gate and I don’t see how I can possibly get a hand in to turn the handle to open it.

Another 30 minutes go by of sitting in the car. I look at my phone and it’s after 2am. My wife hasn’t called yet but she’s probably sleep and hasn’t realized how long I’ve been gone. But I can’t be bothered with that at the moment. I got to get this bum bitch out of my car. Meanwhile she’s saying stuff like, “Someone should be here soon…” and “Nobody coming home tonight?” or “I’m so sorry baby. I know you have to go.” Then the sugar angels fly over my car and bless me with an idea. I see a place in a nearby fence that is fairly low. Low enough for me to climb over. If I stand on some type of metal box, probably a transformer or A/C, I can get me foot up and onto the fence and climb over. I tell Lady Ratchet my plans, grab the food from the trunk, hand it to her and tell her to be ready when I open the gate the guy had come out of earlier. I jog over to the gate on some Mission Impossible type of shit. Only my mission is to get this chick out of my car! I could hear the MI music playing in the background as I climb on the metal thing or whatever, get on the fence and a second later I’m on the apartment grounds.

Ethan Hunt in this bitch.

I walk fast through the apartment grounds, trying to find my way around to the gate. I got lost twice or just made the wrong turn depending on how you look at it. 20 minutes later I push the gate open and I hear the Mission Impossible music go off. I wave at my car and Lady Ratchet gets out with all the bags of food and comes towards me. When she gets to me she tells me thanks and tries to kiss me but I turn my head away. “I’ll see you later,” she says as I step outside the gate and let it close. I didn’t reply. I get back to my car and drive 100mph to get home. I get home and the wife is out cold. I slide in between the sheets like I’ve been there all night and fall to sleep.

The next two days she sends a few emails one saying “I know you’re upset about what happened. But I …” Fuck it. I close the email before even reading it.

I remember thinking at the time, if this is how its going to be as a sugar daddy then I’m done!

#sugar tales #daddy's journal

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bugclub-archive-blog · 7 years

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all the questions :)

1. selfieI post enough2. what would you name your future kids?I have a lot of names I love…sophia + Sadie are my favorites 💞 3. do you miss anyone?Yea, one or two people. One is my dad4. what are you looking forward to?My anniversary with my bf :)5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?My dogs 💞 6. is it hard for you to get over someone?No!! Damn near the second I’m away from someone I can’t even comprehend their existence anymore so…no. that’s also why it’s easy for me to not miss people I’ve been away from for a long time 7. what was your life like last year? When it started I was doing an independent sort of thing where I thought I was finding who I was but I was just influenced by things and music and people and I was actually completely wrong about the person I thought I wanted to be. She wasn’t that great. At the very end of the year I was taking a serious stand for myself. I think I grew a lot 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?Yes this is usually why I cry. Probably like 75% of the time it’s cause I’m stressing9. who did you last see in person?I’m with Emilio and Antonio rn!10. are you good at hiding your feelings?So good. Scary good. I don’t do it a lot, almost never anymore, but I know that I can. Its no good in my experience11. are you listening to music right now?No. But we are video chatting anyone and everyone who is active on fb rn. 10/10 12. what is something you want right now?I want a cup noodles but without the wait.13. how do you feel right now?Very happy and very comfy. I just washed alL out sheets and blankets and they’re super soft and smell delicious14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?Earlier when my husband got home from work he gave me and Capone a big hug 💟 15. personality descriptionOf myself? It’s not my place to say 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?Yes, a million billion times, even right this second, 17. opinion on insecurities.Eh. They’re never as bad as you think. I guess that’s a given18. do you miss how things were a year ago?Eh, sorta! It was getting warm and I was smoking hella bud with Emilio just like now, and I miss how that felt. I miss how it felt being his friend even though I never wanna be just his friend again. I don’t miss my old job at all. I guess mostly what I miss was how I was on the road a lot last May and doing my own thing usually all by myself. I didn’t even see my friends that much last May, it was a weird month. I wouldn’t wanna go back, but I’d rather be in last May than last winter or fall 2015.19. have you ever been to New York?Yes and I loved every second of it.20. what is your favourite song at the moment?Maybe love by Kendrick Lamar or redbone. Loyalty + pride are also good ass songs. 21. age and birthday?20, born March 2422. description of crush.Handsome as hell, gold in his eyes and his hair when the sun shines on him23. fear(s)Puppets on strings and going insane. I answered this the other day so it’s been on the mind a little bit 24. height5'425. role modelNot sure. My dad’s smart26. idol(s)Helen Stephenson 27. things i hateLies, deceit, racism, sexism, backstabbing, 28. i’ll love you if…You have good intentions and good jokes29. favourite film(s)The boondock saints is one of my favorites. I also love Harold and Maude30. favourite tv show(s)The office, scrubs, unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, 30 rock, Malcolm in the middle, my name is Earl, parks and rec, that 70s show, 31. 3 random facts1.Cabbage is a descendant of the mustard plant.2. Kale is a descendant of the mustard plant.3. Multiple plants are descendants of the mustard plant.32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?I guess guys33. something you want to learnMore about plant identification. I wanna be able to go into the forest and know by name what I’m looking at. I learned a few this spring walking around rum village 🌿34. most embarrassing momentMy dad finding my journals a bunch of years back. Even worse was when my family went through my room while I was locked up in the hospital. My grandma and aunt use to take me to ponderosa for breakfast to give me the sex talk once a year it sucked35. favourite subjectScience!! Earth science in particular. I did good in geometry so I like that by default but I wouldn’t wanna do math rn. I’d totally do some science shit rn though36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?See America, see the world, and marry my baby daddy37. favourite actor/actressI don’t have any in particular38. favourite comedian(s)Man, me and Emilio watched a bunch of standup this spring. I love john mulaney. I wish I could give you more names but I’m forgetful39. favourite sport(s)I love playing baseball but I like watching hockey and football40. favourite memoryJeez, who knows. Any family vacation I went on was always a high point. On one trip we went to sleeping Bear dunes in Michigan and I climbed up the biggest hill realllllly fast and everyone was impressed. That was cool41. relationship statusMarried and chillin42. favourite book(s)Catcher in the rye, the great Gatsby, hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, journey to the center of the earth, 20000 leagues under the sea!!! I love that last one so much43. favourite song ever100% by sonic youth and a very certain acoustic performance of wasted and ready by Ben kweller 💐44. age you get mistaken forProbably anything younger than 2045. how you found out about your idolGoth girl message boards 46. what my last text message says“Sorry we did this”47. turn onsDon’t wanna make this blog nsfw but I’m bout to get some d later so that’s kind of working for me 48. turn offsPpl being mean to me49. where i want to be right nowHere is fine 50. favourite picture of your idolNow I regret making Helen my idol she probably thinks I’m so lame 51. starsignAries sun that’s all y'all need to know52. something i’m talented atKissing emilio53. 5 things that make me happyCup noodles, stuffed animals, new makeup, making money, being out In nature 54. something thats worrying me at the momentI’m about to start a new job it’s a little nerve-racking you know 55. tumblr friendsI don’t know if we are friends (I want to be) but I have some really cool mutuals whom I love to watch flourish 🌸 like @angel-macabre @corporateaccount @lushdeath @312413 @heartshapedspiderweb @cheapexorcisms @sediao and others I know I am forgetting this doesn’t mean I love and respect you any less it just means I’m turnt up bitch and tired as hell56. favourite food(s)“The soup”. Its Emilio’s dad’s recipe and I’m confident that I’ve mastered it.57. favourite animal(s)Weasels and dogs58. description of my best friendHandsome as hell, gold in his hair and his eyes when the sun shines on him59. why i joined tumblrI can’t even remember!! It was so long ago…this blog isn’t even my first blog. I wish I could remember why I started it and what I first posted. My first blog is long, long gone. Wish I could find it! Fun fact: my first urls were auricy, fiftene, (and then sixtene on my birthday), boysister, zodomy, and a bunch of others, but I’ve been bugclub for like 4 years now

🌻💞🌻💞🌻💞

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mjeoppa · 7 years

Text

a story i told my friends

it’s long so. also contains malay words, if need translation dont use google, ask me. Quick summary: im actually happy (???questionable) but its all rather bittersweet

Maybe a quick intro to the characters of the drama

Me:awkward but living Raja: someone i kinda grew close through wanting to go to the same places together, a smart girl who's understanding and talks a lot, went to an agama school so she has that conservative part of her Afiq: a guy who lives in my neighborhood who's like probably the good samaritan of our malaysian organization, hobbies include playing video games, watching anime and cooking Hakim: afiq's housemate, doesnt really talk to people much but likes to get involved, hobbies include creating short films

So, i met all 3 separately; raja, since she's in my batch, earlier on, in fact she actually flew to michigan with me halfway, then we had different flights. Afiq i met when he came over to my house once, then later he came by bc my housemates said he could help me put my table together, and even then we were chatting comfortably. Hakim i met on a bus home after orientation, and i recognized him immediately; the guys from damansara i saw in the malaysian organization yearbook. But i didnt say anything bc how would i know he's malaysian lol

So after awhile i became friends w raja and afiq, progressing quite well in the friendship statuses, both of them having common interests w me. Then i found out that they were close w each other too. By the end of the semester, it was pretty obvious that afiq has a thing for raja, by the way he treats her.

Hakim on the other hand i kept having accidental meet ups w on the bus, n i could only officially say i know him after the first mso (malaysian student organization) meeting, but after that i didnt have a chance to say a thing to him. But after that meeting, i could also officially say that i have a crush on this guy. Afiq had talked about him, my friend's housemate talked about him, n from what i learned this guy has a weird charm where he does the most unexpected things, or maybe bc hes so quiet no one really knows what hes thinking

Im close to one of my housemates (who has graduated last semester), kak tipah whom i confessed i have a thing for hakim, and she told me that he has a girlfriend 🙃this was rather early in the semester, so i ended up shuffling crushes a lot throughout, but ofc hakim was still my first crush, also my first heartbreak in michigan

Another one of my housemates, kak su, recruited me to join her for her winter break trip, and when she asked whom i think would wanna join, i suggested raja. Another person who was already in on the plan w kak su was a guy named mirza. At this point i knew nothing about him. There was a phase where i would continuously confirm w my housemates whom mirza is through pictures until i could officially recognize him myself

It was thanksgiving, or maybe a few days before when mirza finally confirmed that the fifth and final member of our trip is hakim (jeng jeng jeng). I was happy, but i had to remain calm. He has a girlfriend, after all.

Okay so winter trip. That was so freaking fun. Funny thing is that we were 5 random people w different backgrounds, and yet we managed to make it work. It was awkward in the beginning, but later we learned how each other worked and after a few forum sessions we were more open w each other. Yes i did get to know hakim, but i also got to know so much more about raja, and mirza is a person that i didnt expect when i first came here to be someone that would be cool w being friends w me.

The ridiculous thing is that it was very early in the trip that we established that both kak su and hakim werent available. I didnt know when it started, but hakim started to talk more, and i liked that he didnt mind sitting around me, he was comfortable w stuff like giving me food he couldnt finish and asking what i wanted to order (dinner is usually the time we could talk, otherwise we'd be in the car and we cant really have a one on one conversation)

Raja on the other hand couldnt stop talking

She asked weird questions, and at first it was just to me, but later i fell asleep a lot so she started asking mirza, and so it became a thing that when theyre bored they would be listening to raja's epiphanies about life

Somewhere in between the first and second week of the trip i was texting afiq a lot n he said "aku susah nak rapat dengan perempuan" so to prove to him how bad i am at making friends w guys i told him that he's the closest guy friend i ever had, so ever since that i guess we had this agreement that we were somewhat close friends and we can kinda tell each other stuff

And believe me, i tell afiq stuff i dont even tell raja

So anyway at first i was kinda happy, and we had fun talking bout stuff, but later i saw that he was chatting w raja, so i felt a bit suckish bc he said he was bad at making friends w girls, so was he just saying it for the sake of it?

So there was a time where we were staying at separate houses, the girls and boys, so we decided to go out to eat, and there wasnt anything else to do in tulsa anyway, so we sat and ate and talked for 3 hours. So i asked mirza when did he finally recognized me as "elyna" and he said actually the first time he heard of me was from afiq who told him that i knew a bunch of animes, and yea actually this was before i told him hes my closest guy friend but i just realized that this was when hakim started to talk to me more than usual

Hmm there were times when he says stuff that i was thinking, n i think i say stuff that hes thinking as well bc when it happens he kinda glanced at me weirdly in the beginning, later when weve talked to each other more we finally say things like "hey i was about to say the same thing" or something like that. Example: we were eating at a thai restaurant n the menu was kinda simple, and i was thinking to myself "ape lagi. Pad thai jela." Then mirza asked hakim what he was gonna order, and he literally said the exact same thing i was thinking. Once mirza asked for an extra bowl of rice (also a thai restaurant, but this was a lot later) and he was saying "mahal doh, 2 ringgit" then hakim asked "brape?" "2 ringgit" then i glanced at him and he glanced at me and i said "murah gak tu. 2 ringgit kalau dollar 50cent." Then we laughed and he said he was about to say the same thing.

Theres this thing during dinners that he does, starting from this gyro place, where he would want me to sit somewhere near him, like either across or next to him, probably so that he can crack jokes w me, but after awhile we ran out of things to say. So sometimes we kinda order similar things just bc. Im not sure. Sometimes he follows my lead, sometimes i follow his, then when what i wanna order is too far from what he wants he just orders wtv he wants. I guess later he realizes that im really bad at first orders haha my food always turns out not that good a dish.

Okay so if i go on and on about the trip this story will never end. Basically we had fun, for a bunch of awkwardly matched 5-some. Raja really liked opening forums and asked weird questions and one of em was what were their first thoughts of us, and hakim said that i came to his house several times to play video games so he thought he'd have that to talk about w me. Raja, he said talked way too much for his liking in the beginning, he said he would like his peace lmao. Both of them knew kak su beforehand so they didnt really think of anything. Thing is, raja actually felt hurt at hakim's comment, even tho it was evident that even if he didnt like all her talking, he wouldnt actually stop her from talking. Except there was a time we wanted to play a game in the car n he said "jom main game senyap, siape paling lama diam die menang" n we all laughed n we asked whats the prize n he said that person can get to talk for an hour n kak su said lets let hakim win so that he has to talk for an hour. I take too much time explaining details ugh.

So for the next day after that confession by hakim raja didnt talk to hakim at all. She literally asked everyone what their glasses power were except hakim. I laughed at him quietly in sympathy. But later she was okay w him again. Just that whenever he talked to her she would complain to me.

She also complained that hakim took a long time to follow raja back on instagram but for me it was on the same night. I said it was bc i followed him when i saw that he was on ig, but she said she saw him going on ig after she requested to follow him but he hadnt approved.

Also both raja and kak su knows i like hakim since before the trip.

It was in new orleans that i really felt like he was making me expect too much from him. He wanted to buy a hot dog for himself, but kak su n raja were sharing, n i didnt want one whole hot dog, so he ended up sharing w me, n he even followed me to the counter when i ordered, n it really made me happy, my heart was bursting, thats the only way i can explain it.

So after that everything was rather mediocre. I theorized a pattern in his ig picture liking in which he would like pictures i post that did not include myself in it, except one. After we got home i kinda felt that feeling of "so thats it?"

But it wasnt. My housemates were saying i couldnt move on, but it really wasnt something to move on from. 3 weeks of just them gave me a lifetime of memories. So when I went out w raja on the sunday before classes start, i guess i shouldnt have been surprised whem raja confessed that she has a crush on mirza.

She went on and on about how they had been talking ever since the morning after we arrived home, and all i could talk about was how i felt like hakim treated me like something more than just another girl, n raja said she saw it too, n i couldnt hold on to those feelings bc he has a gf.

Talking about his gf, throwback to new orleans, second night, 1am. It was just me, mirza and raja, n before mirza had mentioned that hakim's gf went to mirza's mrsm before he got there, so he kinda knew who she was, n he told us that night that the girl's previous boyfriend wasnt like hakim at all, so he was surprised. So me n raja were making all kinds of conclusions. Maybe hakim came into the picture right after mimi, the gf just broke up w her prev bf so she was more accepting of him. Maybe mirza didnt really like the girl. Maybe the circumstances of their relationship is not as it appears, but theyve been together for 3 years, and for 2 of those years hakim was in the states n she's back home, so who r we to say if their relationship is good or not? Speculation wasnt even decent, but we speculated anyway.

But yea semester started n in the first week the only time i saw hakim was through a snap of him sleeping in between classes. Raja was moving into our apartment, bc 2 of my housemates were graduating, so she was taking over one of the leases. When hakim found out he was like "alaa nnti jumpa raja dalam bas." N raja was half kidding when she said "okay la kalau jumpa dalam bas aku tak tegur kau".

On that sunday afiq was being real weird. He's close to one of my housemates, one that i havent revealed until now, kak sj, n i dont know if it has anything to do w her graduating. she was the one who told me to ask him to help w the table n she invited him over several times to cook w her. But he was asking me if i had classes he could join in n in the first week, i saw him every week day. We talked a lot about mso n classes n common interests. One day i was saying youre old afiq, and you havent even confessed to ur crush, whatre u gonna do? Then he told me that hes actually confessed to her, a month ago. I was so surprised. I mean, if it really was a month ago, it had to be someone from my batch, probably, n it couldnt have been anyone but raja? But i didnt wanna assume, so i offered a trade - my crush for yours. So he told me about confessing to raja, n i told him about hakim.

That night we talked on the phone for almost 2 hours about feelings and shit. I was pretty dumbfounded. He confessed to raja before the trip, and she kept that from me all the while, i know its probably not my business, but i wonder if she thought it was better that i didnt know? Bc she tells me almost everything about her life, n i tell her almost everything about mine, so why this secret?

I couldnt keep all this to myself. The night before kak tipah's flight home, i told her everything. She said that she shipped mirza w raja, n me w afiq. I told her that me n afiq cant be more than friends, especially not now. And imagine, im actually one of the last ones to know about this confession. Both of them must know that i felt left out? Kak tipah asked, if afiq suddenly told me he likes me, what would i do? I said i probably wouldnt accept him, bc i feel like im just the second option. Then she asked, what if he confessed to me, not raja? Then i said i probably wouldnt accept him immediately, but eventually.

I also felt that afiq's confession was off in timing- it was way too early. We hadnt been here for even 6 months, we barely know everyone in mso, u really couldnt expect her to have accepted him immediately. But later afiq did say that he didnt expect anything from her, he just wanted to know that he likes her. One of the things that we mentioned during the 2 hour talk was what was his previous girlfriends like, n he said him n his friends concluded that there were 3 main components in the girls he liked; 1. Wears glasses 2. Is introverted and 3. Has common interests w him. I was being so slick at not pointing out that all these descriptions fit me, but instead i avoided it by comparing it to raja, n she only wears glasses at night, is extremely extroverted, n common interests w her is very general.

But yea, he dropped out of the classes he was planning to take w me, but we still talked a lot about stuff, n two wednesdays ago i went to his house for fun, n it was hakim's turn to cook, n i think that was the third time this semester i saw him, n he invited me to eat and said "makanla, aku masak untuk kau kot" n it was a happy moment, even if i knew he was just kidding. Later all his housemates left me n afiq to our geeking out session.

The first time i saw him in the semester was during an mso gathering. We didnt talk. The second time i saw him, i didnt actually see him, altho he probably saw me. Raja had been complaining about meeting hakim on buses n being awkward about it, so one day I was helping raja move her stuff, n we were carrying big plastic bags of pillows onto a bus. Raja mentioned beforehand that she hopes she doesnt see any malaysians, n especially not hakim. The bus we got on was rather crowded, so me n raja had to sit separately. I wanted to sit at the back, but it was too much effort to squeeze in, so i just sat somewhere in the middle. When we were almost home, raja kept giving me signals, but i didnt get it. As soon as we got off, raja went all "DAH CAKAP DAH. MULUT AKU NI MASIN SANGAT." So hakim was on that bus, n i didnt even notice him, even after all my previous efforts to get on a bus w him, when i finally did i didnt even see him. I probably did, but i didnt recognize it was him. Raja kept complaining about it but i was just frustrated, so she ended up pissing me off.

Okay so one day i told him that i had a theory for why he likes raja, a girl who doesnt fit the usual description, n it was bc he didnt want to get broken hearted by girls who are as such again, so he opted for someone who's different, bc srsly his exgf treats him like they never came around to broke his heart so thats mean, but it was also a hint i was giving that he should probably stick to being friends w me so that he wont get broken hearted again, but he was all "hahahah you just made my day" and it was bittersweet

This whole thing is bittersweet- liking hakim is, too. Bc i feel like he's someone who treats me better than he treats raja, n that feels so good, even if it sounds mean, but when was the last time i ever felt like i was someone who was preferred over another girl?

Back to the story, things kinda got lost in between my own life of working and classes and doing design stuff for mso n never doing what they want me to do, so when raja suggested we made a batch gathering in our new house, i thought it was an awesome idea bc i havent hung out w kids in my batch for awhile now, n after having a short lunch w one of em the other day i realized that theyve been spending their time living their lives awesomely as well, n i kinda wanna hear all about it.

So yeaa after many discussions on when we should do it n whos free when we finally decided to do it last friday night. Thing is, that morning was my first shift ever, so right after i had to go buy stuff to replenish the household resources. when i was on my bus home, i saw afiq somewhere near the bus driver. I waved at him, hating to sit in front bc those r usually reserved seats n i dont like hesitating to stand up to offer an older person the seat, so i went all the way to the back w my bags of groceries n there he was, abdul hakim bin zazli.

When he saw me he asked "pegi meijer ke?" And i said yea and our conversation stopped there. I was wearing earphones, but he wasnt, but he was looking at his phone. Afiq messaged me "have fun" n i hated him. After awhile i noticed he wasnt really on his phone, he was just bored n that was his escapade, as usual, a habit of his ive noticed since the trip. So I wanted to make conversation, but when i called out "kim" he wasnt responding so i looked away, but suddenly he turned to me but i was already looking somewhere else, so he didnt say anything. He didnt say bye, but after walking a bit i noticed afiq turning around n grinning at the bus. I still hate him.

So that night was pretty awesome. Even most of the guys came. All the girls came. It was tiring having to make sure there was always food for the guests n that they werent bored, but everyone was pretty chill n i loved it. My batch is pretty awesome. I think one of the best feelings after thinking that u suck at befriending guys is having guys laugh at your jokes. intec guys sucked. period.

Saturday night. I was supposed to be studying for a monday exam. Suddenly afiq asked if i wanted to play left4dead2, which is a game we casually play together w sal, a chill sarawak girl who i have a friend crush on (she loves video games too n owns a ps4). We also managed to get mirza to play w us. After losing one round too many times, mirza quit n the cpu sort of saved our ass. It was 2am n we were still talking while doing our own shit. I have a feeling us 3 would make a pretty awesome trio.

Anyway i ended up being the last one sleeping bc i was editing jongup's bday video, but they all said they'd wanna come over to the ceramics studio to play clay from my wheel throwing class. So the next morning i told them it was pretty empty, so sal came n made an awesome mug for a first timer. She had fun. Afiq had a meeting so we met up w him for pizza after, then he came back to the studio w me bc he wanted to play w clay too. He told me that hakim brought the car to campus, so if i still had a lot of work to do n would probably miss the last bus at 5.30 i could ask him. So i did. He said he was going back at 10, n afiq didnt wanna go back that late, so he ended up have someone pick him up at 7. At 9, hakim was in front of the art building.

I keep forgetting to tell u guys that raja has met hakim on buses several times but he wouldnt talk to her, or like, he ignored her, which was something he did even to me before the trip, which is why when he talked to me first on friday, it felt great really. But raja hated it. She questioned it - why does hakim talk to me but not her? Why is he the only person she knows who wouldnt talk to her? I guess what she hated was his ego, but it also made it sound like she wants everyone on earth to love her, n i couldnt really stand that. But i didnt say a thing.

So when he initiates conversation during that what felt so short trip home, i was happy. As i described it to raja, it was a give n take. He would ask a question then talk n I would ask a question then talk n we were still cracking jokes when we were at the front door of my apartment. Unlike afiq who likes long goodbye n attachment, hakim's goodbyes were short n sweet, n i wonder why he's so chill w me, n some parts of me says that he probably thinks i have something going on w afiq, n i kinda hate that.

-tbc-

#personal #hz

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

Text

So far on the boys ive talked to in japan - aside that teacher

1) around september i decided to look at whose on tinder. One boy i matched with talked to me and didn’t stop responding upon finding out i was not japanese. He helped me with a couple japanese phrases - telling me what sounded most natural. Asked me if i lived alone. Said he wanted to meet me.... asked if i was free that week. I said yes. I gave him a couple days that i was off. He never responded again - that was about 5-6~ days into talking

2) october i went to a club... after a disappointing night i talked to the cute ... not bar person but like he was on the floor. I thought he’d walk away but he got all happy and kept moving close to me to talk. It being too loud combined with my poor japanese and his no english meant we used google translate to talk mostly. Added each other on instagram and he said he’d like to hang out sometime. I asked about a few days and he pulled out his calendar and both were days he worked- he had two jobs. He said we’ll figure out a time later. We had some conversations on instagram. Then after a couple weeks his stories always showed him with friends. I asked him a couple times when he was free and he said he was working all the time. After another weekish of that i said it seemed that he had time to see his friends but not me. And he basically just said yep

3) december i got back on tinder. But for real. Not just a qick swipe through. Talked to the next guy with a bunch of other dudes. Was just talking. Trying to improve my english. Hoping someone would ask me to go eat with them since that is what id written on my profile. This boy asked me to hang out. We’d talked more and more over the two weeks and he said he really wanted to see me. But he couldnt cause he was working too much. Then he told me when he has a break. I had the flu at the same time and told him id tell him when i was better and he got sweeter and sweeter toward me. Then we talked on the phone and it was awkward and difficult cause my japanese not being great is even worse when i cant gesture. But it went well. Then. Suddenly. Over text the tinder boy - lets have sex! - bs came up. I said i didnt want to the first time we meet and i wanna just talk. He asked a couple more times about it and then agreed. The day before we talked on the phone again - he suddenly said he had to take another call and hung up and then didnt say anything else the rest of the night. I freaked out a bit that night thinking hed stopped talking to me. But the next morning he messaged me like nothing happened. Didnt even want to acknowledge my freak out aside from telling me not to think so much.

We met up. He took me to a shrine. We got fortunes and ties them to a tree... then he took me to his apartment... fast... he said he wanted to watch movies together.... bought... chocolate. I mean great but i wanted real food i was hungry. Then. He kept trying to have sex with me. So many times just pushed and pushed. Would not take no for an answer. Finally when... he was trying to take off more of my clothes and i wouldnt let him and said no again. He asked if i had my period. And only stopped after i said i did. Kept trying to pursuade me to give him a blowjob.

Before that... he asked me to be his girlfriend. Said he was moving soon and asked me to move in with him. Told me hed be workig two jobs for the rest of january so we couldnt meet again till February...

Anyhow after i kept saying no to a blow job and other stuff happened i asked him if we could go get food. He said he didnt have money and cooked bad ramen on the stove and french fries... he drank a bunch of alcoholic. We watched some music videos and he went to sleep.

When he kinda seemed to wake up i tried to make a point of me leaving. He just acted kinda annoyed that he had to even still deal with me being there at that point and ignored me while trying to sleep... he ghosted me right in front of me

He replied to my text the next day with some nonsense and about a week later he told me about his apartment plans. He sent one last text about it before... never responding again

I let it be for the next four weeks... till the days he was supposededly done working two jobs and couls see me again. Hed made story postings during this time

But yea. Never replied to me again

4) some boy who wanted to get better at english cause hes moving to the us. We talked on the phone a couple times near christmas. He complained about not having a gf and said he wanted to hang out. But the times i asked he was “busy”. We hung out once... played darts. He said he didnt want to drink cause he drank the night before and he ate before meeting me so left early.... said next time. There was never a next time.

5) some guy i talked to a bit. He asked to meet up. I agreed. Took a whole for us to find each other cause he kept...... hanging up the phone on me.... he didnt look like his pic and he dressed weird. He basically hailed me over when he found me and then walked fast so that i basically had to chase him around. He was one of those dudes that walks with his hands out like people are supposed to move for him. After about 20 minutes of that he told me to wait while he pretended to get a call and then told me his dog is sick and he needed to leave to take her to the hospital. He said well meet again. Never saw him again not that i wanted too.

6) talked to another boy for a couple weeks. Just about fun stuff it was good conversation. We talked about music and movies and murder mystery parties. About our days and just generally the kind of good conversation you have with friends. Around the third week we talked about meeting... but. Then. Tinderboy - i wanna have sex! Came into the convo... i told him i had my period and asked if we could go out to drink instead. He said lets drink before we do next week. Whatever. Next week comes around. Same good conversation everyday. The day of comes and he responded to me in the morning reconfirming the time and place and stuff. Once the time to meet rolled around. No response. I called him a couple times more so to bitch him out. He blocked me.

7) some other dude. We talked a bit. He asked me to go out to eat. Post poned 3 times that night cause he was working later than he was supposed to. I was so hungry. No he didn’t wanna go out to eat. Bought me some convience store food and barely let me finish eating before hooking up... he said thanks to my happy birthday message. But otherwise we havent talked again. Even though hes a ten minute walk away.

8) then of course theres the absolutely adorable boy who took me out on the date of my dreams.... until he silently walked me the train station. Said bye. And now has slowly ghosted me all week. He just unmatched me on tinder after i asked about it so. Guess he’s gone. Which has me feeling fucking terrible.

9) talked to a guy a couple days ago. He asked if i wanted to hook up. I basically agreed. I WANTED HUMAN CONTACT ON VALENTINES DAY. He told me beforehand he was only free for a couple hours. Asked if i wanted him to pick me up the night before buttttt i got my hair treated and shouldnt sweat so i said it was too late and i needed to sleep. He met me. Late. At the station and walked me back yo his apartment after i was done work. One of my students saw me with him... embarrassing. We talked a lot. Hes the oldest guy ive ever... anything. Though still just 29. It would have been a good conversation if... i didnt know he asked me to come have sex and then never made a move. An hour and a half in he suddenly went

Oh its the time! Sorry go. I should have agreed to his request for yesteday instead of insisting on friday.

Ive been freaking out about 8 and i messaged him asking if he lost interest in me. He never responded to my message asking if he wanted to hookup yesterday. He didnt respond for 20 minutes and then i said either say yes or no so im not waiting. And he almost immediately responded with no. So. Idk.

10) talked to some dude from hong kong yesteday. He messaged me first saying he doesnt like japan and just came for the food. Ive been crying all day and basically hust bitched about japan to him. Apparently he doesnt actually dislike japan... he just doesnt like the bidets.... and i told him my home life sucks so im here but here sucks too so wtf. Ya know. Things that are totally attractive go someone you started talking to a half an hour ago. He said he wanted to talk about food. Im good at food talk ok. Then asked if i wantrd to meet up and look for cake with him. Sure. Shinjuku. The same placd i met 5 and 3. Thought id break the- everytime i come to this city im depressed. Cause before them the last time i went to shinjuku in the summer. I couldnt find the clothes shops i was looking for. There were couples all around me. And it was the first day in japan i felt so utterly and truely miserable and alone and like nothing in my life was better. I was still hoping at that point that the teacher i worked with would go with me and show me around and i left thinking next time i go itll be better cause i wont be alone.

Well shinjuku appears to be bad luck for me. I got stressed trying to find this boy and sounded like it over the phone. But he still met up with me. I brought him some snacks from the baskery near me on my way. We talked. He speaks english. But he just asked about my job... how do you get it. Is it hard. Whats its pay.

I walked past a cake shop on my way to meet him and i showed him the cakes he said he really wanted. He said he didnt bring much cash so he didnt want it.... k i thought that was the point of this trip but whatever. He asked me if i was hungry three times. I said i ate before coming because normally when i meet people we dont eat and i go hunry. I left out the YOU SAID YOU WANTED CAKE!!! Part. He said he was hungry but didnt want me to not eat while he did. So i told him to find a place with desert and ill eat desert while he eats a meal. Were walking. This is about 25 minutes in and he starts to complain his legs hurt and that hes tired. Another 10 minutes pass and he complains more about how he feels like hes floating and his shoes dont fit. I see mcdonals and say i know this is lame but ive kinda been craving a big mac. Its fine if not cause ya know your visiting japan but would you want mcdonals. He jokes about it and then goes yea i could go for a bigmac. We get in the store and he tells me to go. And i tell him to go ahead first. Then he says no he feels sick and doesnt want to eat.... tells me to eat... the exact situation he didnt want earlier

Hm. Gee. I wonder whats coming. I say i only wanted to eat cause he said he was hungry. We leave and then he says maybe its tmi but - proceeds to tell me about being constipated. I didnt try to listen. Btw he was 6’4 and kinda difficult to hear if i didnt try. I wrap that up with. Yea i think that was a tmi story but good for you. Cause the gist of it was that he could shit now.

Then. You know its coming. He says hes gonna go home. I stop acting happy. I told myself the next time this happened id confront them.

We met up at 7 and it was now like 7:50. My train is 10 bucks round trip.

But. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

All i could say after a while of kinda just going silent was - whyd you ask me to meet if you were so tired.

And he aaid cauae walking around japan alone isnt fun. Yeah mean i know. I said that to you over text earlier.

I asked him if i dont look like my pic. He says i look exactly like my pic.

I say a few times before ive met up with guys and we never talk again. And he goes - well youre meeting strangers and sometimes it just doesnt click

He unmatchd me the moment he got on his train. I imagine were still friends on snapchat cause he probably deleted it since he redownloaded it to talk to me

So yea. Same experiences as back home because im me and i will always be cursed and miserable. I dont wanna sleep cause im waiting to see when that boy in 8 will block me on line... cause i sent alot of messages. It doesnt help me to know when.... but.... ya... idk. Someone shoot me please

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