#you probably didn’t mean it but i am not a machine that generates text whenever you order me

[elysianslove]

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi 

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself 

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right? 

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name! 

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them. 

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes 

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting 

not a nice feeling 

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart 

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do 

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move 

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity! 

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are 

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see” 

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

hm

am i your boyfriend 

like idk am i your girlfriend 

he said yeah obviously 

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two 

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc. 

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting 

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either” 

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe 

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine 

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about 

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know? 

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving 

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled 

damn this. all this. 

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck 

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck 

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it. 

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective 

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol 

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story. 

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are 

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism 

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi headcanons #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #semi headcanons #semi eita headcanons #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu headcanons #shirabu kenjiro headcanons

[displacedentities]

Night Out

My quickfic for @doodledrawsthings​ Coffee Shop AU! In truth I had this in the books for months and just never got around to finish it ;u; Unfortunately only the muse can decide when it’s time to slap me with enough serotonin to work on this, so I rode the high from recent art and wrapped it up! It’s not as clean as I wanted, but you know what, have it anyway.

-Myst -----

Finally. Another shift in the books.

With a heavy sigh, Luka stretches his back as the clock chimes up on the wall over the glass doors. Deft fingers untie the back before he slips the fabric apron over his head. A light snap of magnets punctuates the white noise of steaming coffee machines, and Luka stuffs his nametag into his pants pocket.

Luka was embarrassed to think about how much of a struggle it was to steady on for the entirety of the workday. Stress ate at him all the time, over so many things. Harriet was priority number one - did he remember to prep her meals for the day? Was she still ok, back in the apartment? Was Professor Popcorn in need of more repairs? Luka would happily handle such a task, of course, but...

He wasn't guaranteed to have thumbs when the evening finally came. There was his time limit to think about.

"Hey Luka?"

Damn, but being cursed was such a pain. Chopping vegetables was a particular bane of his existence. How could he trust himself with a knife like that? Ugh. He hated to make Harriet do it - no child should be wielding a knife before the age of 13, for any reason. He'd just have to MacGyver a solution or something.

"Luka..."

And on top of that, he had the upcoming bills to fret over. Rent was due in a few days, and he'd made a decent amount in tips, but they could not afford to have their upstairs neighbor burst a pipe again. He and Harriet had spent the entire afternoon toweling up their poor carpets to avoid getting mildew. Or worse, bugs. Luka was a fan of bugs, but not in his carpets, or sneaking into the mattress where they could bite his daughter.

"HEY!"

This time, the voice manages to pierce the haze of worry writhing in Luka's brain. Jolting to attention, the auburn-haired adult turns around, blinking owlishly at his colleague, Clover.

The braided redhead is giving him a wan smile, her brows furrowed in worry as she sets down a large bag of coffee beans under the counter.

"You spaced out again, buddy. Did you hear a word I said?" the barista asks, folding her arms over her stained apron.

"Uhh... you said my name," Luka replied, feeling a bit awkward as he chuckles once. "Sorry, I probably missed anything you might have asked me."

"I was asking if you ever go out."

"Ah- what?"

That was unexpected. Go out?

"You know-" Clover holds up her hands to gesture to the world in general, and beyond the coffee shop doors "-out! Like, with friends or anybody?"

Ah.

Luka laughs once, rubbing a hand on one side of his face.

"You mean since I moved into town? Nah, not really. Me and my daughter have only been here a few months - can't say we made many friends just yet."

Nor was that a risk they could take. Who knows how long they could stay here, before he was inevitably found out? One could argue it was a risk just- doing what he was doing now. Trying to hold a job, staying in an apartment; a semi-permanent living situation. They'd been on the road so long, old habits were quite hard to break. And if he was entirely honest with himself, Luka didn't know yet if he felt safe, even six months past the first day he arrived in the rural town of Subcon.

Clover's frown deepens, her arms dropping back to her sides. Her dropped guard betrays her worry, before she tries to play it off with another lighthearted smile and upbeat words.

"Oh come on, it can't have been that long since you've just done something fun for the sake of it. When was the last time you went out with friends and enjoyed yourself?" she asks.

"Why is this important?" Luka asks, his own guard slowly rising. He didn't quite see where she was going with this, but he wasn't sure he'd like it.

Oops- maybe not the most polite way to phrase that, as he sees an awkward flinch on Clover's face. Quick, recover! Luka chuckles once, also trying to lighten the mood.

"You and MJ never really asked me that kind of stuff before. I thought I was hired to serve coffee, not tea."

"We serve both, ya doofus," Clover smirks, rubbing one of her well-muscled arms with the other in a self-conscious gesture. "You should know that, since you've been working here almost four months now. And uh- well, MJ just kind of noticed you always seem very tired whenever you leave work."

Luka smiles back, but it's forced. Careful. Don't give any hints that it's anything serious. Don't be suspicious.

"Oh, that? I uh- I'm not used to the retail scene. I'll probably adapt to it soon."

Clover doesn't seem convinced. Still, her expression is sympathetic, rather than judgmental or suspicious. She leans her back on the counter, looking over Luka's exhausted demeanor and baggy eyes with a skeptical smile.

"I'm sure you will." She rests her hands on the counter. "In the meantime, you should go out for bowling with me and MJ! We were planning this outing for about a week, and maybe you'd wanna come with?"

Luka stops mid-folding of his apron. He turns toward Clover with surprise.

"Bowling? As in- knocking over pins in an alley, bowling?"

Clover rolls her eyes, amused. "No, as in rolling cereal bowls. Yes, that kind of bowling, Luka. It'll be fun! Eat some cheap pizza, knock over pins, watch the uncanny valley animations on the TV screen, the whole shebang. You up for joining us?"

"I uh- I didn't know there was a bowling alley here?" Luka says, his voice pitching up as he gives a sheepish laugh. "I- I don't know..."

Shit.

He could already feel the first touches of his curse starting to well up. A quick glance to his hands- okay, no purple yet. But it was coming.

Luka tucks his hands behind his back just in case.

"I'm not sure, I have Harriet to worry about..." he fumbles, rushing to think of excuses. It hurts his heart a little when he sees the disappointed expression Clover wears.

"Are you sure?" she asks, her tone gentle. "It'll only be a for a couple of hours - I could ask Cookie next door if she'd be willing to handle your daughter for the night. She's a fantastic sitter, and your daughter would have Mu to play with."

Luka opened his mouth, preparing to turn it down- then closed it again, brows furrowed as he chews over the thought.

Only a few hours... hm. His curse's current time limit was somewhere a little short of eight hours, he was sure. As long as he didn't have to pick up a shift at work, he would have most of his day free to spend out of the motel. An outing to a bowling alley couldn't possibly last eight hours, though he'd... never actually gone bowling before.

"I.... don't know... I've never been bowling, I'll just hold you back-"

"Nonsense," Clover says, waving off his excuse immediately. "MJ and I aren't professionals or anything, Luka - it's just for fun! You've never been?? That means you've gotta try it, at least once. Please?"

...mmh. Luka would be lying if he said he wasn't very tempted. But he had so much to worry about! His daughter, his curse... keeping his job, being able to support the two of them. Not to mention, getting used to his slow camaraderie with Clover and MJ. That sort of outing would throw their friendship into first gear.

"It's ok," Clover interrupts his thoughts, standing back up straight as she grabs a rag and finishes wiping down the counter. "You don't have to come, we just thought... you know, it might be fun. You look like you need some serious time to unwind, dude. All we ever see of you is showing up to work, dealing with customers, then you leave. And hey, if you change your mind, the offer's still open."

Luka curls his fingers, foot tapping the floor in small fidget.

"Well, I'm gonna start closing up the back," Clover says, tossing the rag into a laundry bin next to the employee break room. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Wait!"

Clover stops, turning around with the laundry basket.

"What day were you planning to do it?"

What am I thinking?? I can't go on an outing with them!

Unaware of Luka's silent stresses, Clover beams, her smile lighting up once again.

"Saturday! Would that work for you?"

"Mnhg- maybe?" Luka concedes, forcing his own sheepish smile despite his brain screaming No nO this is a bad idea! His mouth continues to run away from him. "Saturday is my errand day - me and Harriet go out for groceries in the morning, and eat out at whatever lunch restaurant she picks. I wouldn't be open until the evening, and Sunday's game day for me and my daughter."

Bad idea, what are you doing?!

"That's perfect!" Clover says, delighted and still not privy to Luka's inner struggle. "If we close the shop at five, we can drive to the bowling alley around 5:30, play a game or two and eat. Should go until about... eight-ish? How's that sound?"

Say no, say NO!

"Sure, sounds fun."

AGH!

"Great!" Clover says, a skip in her step as she lopes off to the back room with the laundry basket. "I'll text MJ to let him know - he's already gone back to his apartment."

"Yeah, I'll uh- I'll text him too," Luka chuckles, scratching behind his head with one hand- and immediately putting a stop to that action, as he feels the points of sharp claws dig at his scalp. Both arms are dropped and tucked behind his back, a big smile on his face. "Gotta give him the full details and everything, haha..."

"No problem- see you!" Clover bids Luka goodbye, waving one hand as she cheerily hauls the laundry bin off into the back.

"Bye!" Luka says, his voice cracking from nerves.

Oh thank god she's gone.

Luka pulls his hands back out into view, and sees the telltale purple staining begin to creep up his flesh. Peck. It was already starting- Clover left just in time. He could already feel the sharp ends of his canines starting to poke into his bottom lip. He didn't have much left of the day in human form- he had to get home right now.

Snatching up his belongings from his locker, stuffing his work apron inside, Luka loops his bag over his shoulder and leaps over the service counter. He missed the rack of sugar packets this time, thankfully, his sneakers squeaking on the tile floor as he bolts out the door. The bell rings as the glass entryway opens and shuts, signaling his departure. Car keys are whipped out of his bag, a slowly deforming finger just managing to push the button to unlock the vehicle as he clambers inside. Just five minutes- he could make five minutes.

The engine of the car roars to life, and Luka zips off out of the employee parking space, trying his best to ignore it as his fingers swell and fuse together, and his eyes reflect golden light in the rear view mirror.

------

MJ's car putters up to outside the bowling alley, fixing his blue-dyed hair with a sigh. Clover, in the passenger seat, drums her hand on the door handle with excitement.

"This is gonna be so much fun," she says, turning to look over her shoulder at the stiff and uncomfortable Luka in the backseat. "I'm so glad you decided to come, Luka- we'll show you the ropes of bowling!"

"Great," the young man says, putting up another shaky smile as his fingers tense around his kneecaps. "Can't wait!"

"That's the spirit," MJ speaks up, giving Luka a quick smile of his own before twisting the key in the ignition. The car's engine dies down, the doors unlocking as MJ shifts the gear into park. "Clover told me you were nervous about hanging out, and that's completely fine by me - if you feel uncomfortable and don't want to stay, just let us know, ok? We'll drive you back to the apartment building, no hesitation."

Luka inhaled deeply, letting out a heavy sigh from the back seat of the car. It felt like his nerves were trying to shake him apart. A glance at his watch-

Was he really going forward with this?

...Yes. He was. As much as Luka worried, Clover had been right. It'd been far too long since he'd taken 'me' time.

Luka puts a hand on the door and pulls the handle, stepping out of the car before he has a chance to psyche himself out.

It's just a couple hours. He still had plenty of time, after his midday outings with Harriet.

Stay calm. You can do this.

The sign above the brick building shines with neon lights, saying 'Pins & Cushions' in bright blue and red. The backdrop is a painting that Luka can swear was painted in the 80s, displaying a bowling ball as it barrels into pins and knocking them askew with a cartoony impact mark.

"Pins & Cushions?" he says aloud, smirking a little bit.

"Kind of silly, right?" MJ speaks up, locking the car behind him with a click. "Sounds more like a sewing parlor than a bowling alley."

"It's because they boasted having cushioned chairs," Clover says, snickering. "You've never been, but most bowling alleys have these awful plastic chairs that hurt to sit on for too long."

"You mean like the chairs in high school?"

Luka's joke earns a quick bark of a laugh from Clover.

"Couched seating areas in a bowling alley was, sadly, a craze that never caught on," MJ says, ascending the concrete steps up to the building. "But this one did, and the place is like forty years old and too stubborn to change, so your butt will thank you later."

When the doors open, Luka is immediately washed with a cocktail of smells he didn't think could- nor should- ever go together. First and foremost is the thick smell of plastic and rubber, followed by the chemical odor of cleaning sprays, and the sizzling smell of burning cheese. Air conditioning blasts them from above as the three young adults enter the bowling alley, the doors sliding shut behind their backs. The sounds hit next - a cacophonous mix of rubber soles squeaking on polished floors, heavy objects falling and rolling, and the clatter of pins falling into the trap at the far end of the establishment.

It was loud, smelled strange, and the carpet looked lifted straight out of an arcade.

Luka was torn between anxiety, and a strange sort of excitement he hadn't felt in a long, long time. This was something new, something unfamiliar- he had hours to enjoy himself, and spend time not worrying about stresses of life. Harriet had a sitter, paid in advance with an alarm for when he would return, and he was out with- friends? Had him accepting this invitation solidified their friendship at this point? ...the thought made a happy butterfly flutter in his stomach.

This would be a great evening, he could feel it.

"Earth to Luka." MJ's amused tone causes Luka to jump. "Something on your mind? You're smiling."

"Oh- uh- nothing," Luka says, scratching behind his head sheepishly. "Just- thanks. For inviting me. I think I really did need this a lot."

"YEAH you do!" Clover thumps him on the back with one hand. "Come on! You have to give your shoes to the clerk so they can give you your bowling shoes."

"Ah, what? I have to take off my shoes on this carpet?" Luka complains, lifting a foot with distaste. "I feel like I'm stepping on twenty-year-old candy."

"It's part of the charm!" Clover sings, already removing one of her sneakers. "It's either this, or slip all over the place on the actual alley floor. You're getting the full bowling experience whether you like it or not, coffee boy."

"Ex-CUSE me!" Luka says with a dramatic gasp, hopping on one foot as he works to remove his own shoes. "I think you will find I'm a coffee man, thank you."

"Coffee twink," Clover counters.

"No, that's MJ."

"HEY! I will call lion's share of the tips for that one," MJ shakes a sneaker at them both in a mock scolding gesture.

"YOU'RE BOTH COFFEE TWINKS," Clover declares to the entire establishment as she fights off her last sneaker, racing for the counter before the others can catch up. "HURRY UP, COFFEE TWINKS, WE NEED TO PICK OUT BOWLING BALLS."

"I have dibs on the galaxy patterned one!" MJ yells after Clover.

Clover gives MJ an evil grin as she takes her bowling shoes and pays the rental fee, tying them before sauntering over to the racks of bowling balls. Her hand hovers over the selection, giving a teasing pause over the bowling ball made with swirled star plastic.

"Don't you dare," MJ hisses from the counter, pointing an accusing finger at Clover as he hands over the money for both his and Luka's rental shoes.

"It's either the tips share, or the bowling ball! You decide!" Clover yells back, drumming her fingers on the coveted starry bowling ball.

"Fiiiiine," MJ says with a dramatic tone, though his smile gives away his mirth. "You know I wasn't going to take the tips anyway, Clo."

"I know~" she says, giggling while she moves on to a different rack of bowling balls. "And you know I wouldn't do that to your poor weak arms, either, Moonie."

Luka finishes tying his rental shoes, thanking MJ before he makes his way down the small stairway to the alleys. It's very bright in this section of the building, with cushioned couches surrounding tables and standing consoles. Metal railings and a chute of some kind were positioned at each alleyway, some with bowling balls sitting idle atop the metal racks.

"So, what now?" Luka asks, the excitement of wading into unknown waters welling in his chest again.

"Pick a bowling ball!" Clover says, gesturing to the racks of heavy plastic spheres. "You'll want a heavy one, but not too heavy for you to lift and throw."

"Go easy on us, Clover." MJ shakes his head as he picks up his favorite starry ball. "Ms. Gun Show and her fourteen-pound bowling ball."

The redhead leans over and scoops up a swirled green bowling ball, hefting it on one arm and pumping it like a weight.

"You might get some guns yourself if you helped me landscape and move sod around my garden, Coffee Twink #1," she says, flexing a bicep.

"I refuse to acknowledge that nickname."

"Sorry, it's our team name now," Clover laughs, "the Coffee Twinks!"

"Hey, I thought our team name was the Comets?!"

"That was before Luka joined the team - now it's a 2-to-1 twink majority, I don't make the rules."

Luka just has his face in his hands, laughing through the whole exchange as he leans on the metal racks.

"You're just as bad as Harriet!" Luka laughs, pushing his hair back out of his eyes with one hand. "I don't even know where she learned that word - Cookie's daughter, probably?"

"Definitely," MJ says with a thousand yard stare, earning more laughter from Luka. "Go pick a bowling ball, I'll get the console up and running for our game."

Wiping tears from his eyes, chuckling under his breath, Luka turns to the racks and peruses the selection. The bowling balls come in all colors - most are black or dark brown, but there's a rather delightful mix of brighter hues like pink, blue and yellow. Some are marbled, some have glitter in the plastic, and a few very beat-up bowling balls have graphics of cartoon characters that were popular in the 90s. Well-loved by the children who patronize this establishment, he was sure. Harriet would love the Scooby-Doo ball - oh no wait. The one themed after a Pokeball, for sure was her poison of choice. And clearly the pick of the litter for many other children, as it was covered in scratches and dents from decades of use.

Ah- there was one themed after a jack-o-lantern! How fitting. He loops his fingers into the grip holes of the bowling ball, and heaves it off of the rack- only to almost crush his toes as the weight yanks his arms to the floor.

That was- heavier than expected!

"Oooooh, nice pick," Clover says, spinning her own bowling ball in her hands. "You sure you can carry it, though? That's a 10-pounder."

"I'll be fine-" Luka says, grunting as he lifts it back up with both hands this time. "Just- caught me off guard, is all."

"Alright, game's all set," MJ announces from the console.

Above their heads, a large tube television flashes blue before displaying a score board.

A loud k-chunk k-chunk k-chunk of machinery draws Luka's eye toward the other end of the alley. Metal rigging and machinery descend from the covered roof of the pin trap. Resembling a large soda crate, the rig drops an array of ten white bowling pins, before unclamping and ascending back into the darkness of whatever creation of god resided in that ceiling.

"You're up first, Clo," MJ says, waving a hand to indicate she should move forward.

"Watch and learn," Clover throws Luka a smile, the competitive taunt dampened by her genuinely helpful tone. "You want to throw the ball so it rolls like this-"

Stepping forward onto the squeaky, smooth polished wooden platform, Clover lifts her bowling ball to her chest. With a quick inhale, she lopes forward two steps, swinging her arm back with the bowling ball, before reeling it forward on the last stride and underhand throwing it into the aisle. The heavy green bowling ball lands with a tHDD before skidding its way down the oiled track, rolling in a long, smooth line. The swirled green sphere smacks into the bowling pins with a loud tHWAKK!!, sending all but one of the pins flying into the darkness beyond. The ball disappears into the hole, and Clover puts her hands on her hips with a huff.

"Damn, almost got a strike." Clover snaps her fingers, shrugging. The green bowling ball clatters back up the chute. She grips her fingers into the trio of holes again, and goes for another throw.

The bowling ball rolls down the course, straight as an arrow for the last pin. The pin spins off the wooden platform into the darkness, earning a whoop from Clover.

"Nice, got a spare!" Clover declares, throwing her arms up in triumph. She sashays her way back to the couches. "Who's up next?"

"I'm up," MJ says, standing from the console. Looping his fingers into his own starry bowling ball, MJ rolls his shoulders and steps up onto the oiled wooden planks. "I'm going to get the first strike of the day, just wait."

"Sure you will," Clover snickers as MJ winds up.

When he releases the ball, it rolls at very high speed- before curving halfway down the track, the topspin he put on the ball causing it veer off course and land in the gutter.

Face flushed, MJ coughs into his hand, suddenly very invested in fixing his shirt as Clover grins. The galaxy ball returns to the trough, and MJ pointedly picks it up again, winding up for his second throw. The bowling ball rocks down the course, and knocks over about six pins, leaving a corner of the triangle still standing.

"Woo!" Clover cheers, clapping as MJ returns to the seating. She reaches over and nudges Luka on the shoulder. "You're up, Luke! Show us whatchu got!"

Heart in his throat, Luka stands from his seat and steps up.

The bowling ball grins up at him, daring him to chicken out. It was heavy in his hand. Still, he walked up onto the polished floor, feeling the rubber on the bottom of his shoes as it grips the oiled surface.

Fighting the weight of the heavy bowling ball, Luka takes a step forward, swinging his arm back before bringing it back around like a pendulum. The ball hits the track with a heavy thDD as it’s released, sent rolling off down the track. Around the halfway point, it spins off course and lands in the gutter with a clunk.

“Aww,” Clover says, leaning over the chair cushion. “And you had such good posture, too.”

“It’s ok,” MJ speaks up, seeing Luka’s visible embarrassment. “It’s your first time bowling! Nothing to be ashamed of. You have another shot before we rotate players.”

Disappointed, Luka rubs at his arm. Well, that was a less than encouraging performance. But he noticed the angle of the spin on the ball. Maybe he could fix that.

The ball clatters up the chute back into the return trough. Luka picks it up with a huff of breath, holding it to his chest as he does mental calculations. If he turned his wrist at just the right point...

Stepping forward, Luka swings back and releases the ball, putting a top spin on the ball at the last possible moment-

The jack-o-lantern face rockets down the alley, the path straight until the very last second. It curves to hit the front pin from the side, knocking every single pin into the abyss beyond.

"OHHHHH!" Clover and MJ exclaim, clapping with enthusiasm as Luka looks stunned.

"You got a strike!" Clover says, applauding with a big grin. "You were totally pulling our legs about being a newbie to this, huh??"

"I think I just got lucky," Luka tries to play it off, feeling an uncommon shyness as he smiles.

Clover shakes her head, not having it.

"Luck nothing! That was pure talent, and you got a strike, dude!"

"Technically that was a spare, but still a strike in my book," MJ says as he rotates the turn order on the console, giving Luka a smile and a thumbs up.

"Oh let him have it, Moon Moon," Clover laughs as MJ throws her a pout. "Our new boy's got game!"

Luka hunches his shoulders, an awkward smile curling across his cheeks as he walks back over to the couches. Clover jumps to attention and makes her way to the track, picking up her green bowling ball for another round as he sits down.

This was... much more fun than he had expected it to be. The background noise of the bowling alley was surprisingly pleasant. He found he could get used to the dull odor of plastic and cleaner- and honestly, that hot cheese smell from what must be the pizzeria was tempting his stomach. But best of all was the camaraderie he could feel sparking between him, Clover, and MJ. Were they officially friends now? Or had they been already, and he was just- in denial? If Luka was entirely honest with himself, probably the latter. MJ and Clover had been nothing but kind and understanding, to him. His sporadic hours and excuses had done nothing to faze them with regards to their treatment of him at work. They still offered him drinks and invited him on this outing, offering even to pay for his expenses, didn't they?

"Hey Luka!" A call from MJ breaks him out of the small reverie. "You're up, again."

"And after this round, we can hit the arcade! I bet I can out-dance you on DDR, Coffee Twinks," Clover smirks.

"No betting. I know you can."

Maybe- maybe he had nothing to worry about.

---

The evening is going fantastic.

The first bowling game had been a pretty close match between Luka and Clover. Clover had the arm strength to pull off some mean and fast throws, but Luka had developed a system. Figuring out how to spin the bowling ball just the right amount had made up for his noodle arms and less weighty bowling ball. It wasn't long before he figured out how to roll a pretty straight record of spares and strikes, with the occasional 7-10 split. After bowling around, they went into the arcade section, with an entire paper roll of quarters to blow on games. A vicious Ms. Pacman multiplayer match had led to MJ smoking all three of them, and as predicted, Clover out-danced both of the boys on the DDR and Stepmania machines. Luka had to collapse over a nearby chair with exhaustion after his matches. He'd finished off the arcade run with a very lucky pull from a claw machine, winning a black cat plush with big yellow eyes that he was definitely going to enjoy giving to Harriet.

The three of them sat around their table at the bowling console again, laughing over a hot cheese and pepperoni pizza.

"No way, you didn't!" Luka gasps, wheezing for air.

"I did! I punched his goddamn lights out!" Clover laughs, slapping one knee. "The guy was being a huge creep, so I introduced him to my fist."

"I hope you didn't get in trouble with the cops or something for that." Luka tilts his head, giving her an impressed and worried look.

"Can't get in trouble if nobody reports it," MJ chimes in, smirking past his soda cup. "He complained to me, but I had the security tapes AND plausible deniability because I wasn't on the floor. Corporate took our side on this."

"Nobody from the city wants to drive all the way out to podunk Subcon for a random dudebro's complaint." Clover sits back on her cushioned seat, chomping into her pizza happily. "Mmmmm- delicious melty cheese."

Luka chomps into his own pizza, exhaling and blowing on it as it nearly burns his mouth.

"Easy, tiger!" MJ smirks around his own mouthful of pizza.

"I know, it's just so good," Luka says, laughing into his hand as he sips some of his cola. "But in like- the way you know it's not that great? Does that make sense?"

"Night in the Woods taught me the Pizza Scale, and I stick by that," Clover says, crunching through her crust to grab up another slice, washing down the bread with some soda. When she reaches for another piece of the pie, she pauses, and lets out a huff. "Oh, that sucks. I guess they didn't clean the bowling balls that well this time. Gross."

"Hm?" Luka says through a mouthful of pizza.

"Your fingers are all oil-stained from the finger holes on the bowling ball, Luka. Big Al needs to wash the bowling balls properly."

Confused, the law student shifts his attention down.

The ends of his fingertips are discolored with ebony purple.

Luka can feel as his brain zeroes in on the first sign of his impending transformation, and begins to shift into emergency mode as it relays the steps he must take in order to avoid further exposure. He'd gone over this information with himself many times over the past five years. It was ingrained in his mind, what he had to do, the information practically screaming at him. But he can't hear it. His ears are filled with buzzing as reality breaks into the facade he'd slowly built up over the course of hours.

No-

No no no-

His pizza slice drops to the paper plate as he fumbles with his bag, pulling out the cell phone from the liner pocket. Shaking fingers tap the screen with frantic speed, trying to turn the damn thing on-

9:17?

They'd been here nearly four hours?!

He'd spent the morning out with Harriet, doing their grocery shopping and walking around the town's outdoor mall as much needed father-daughter time. Eight hours of being in disguise had long since passed.

His time limit was up.

This couldn't be happening. Yet the numbers stare back at him from the glare of his cell phone screen. They even have the nerve to tick over to 9:18 right before his eyes.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening! It wasn't fair!

"Luka, you ok? You're turning pale..."

Clover's question just barely manages to pierce the haze, causing Luka to jolt in his seat. Posture stiff and breath shallow, he lifts his head to meet Clover's questioning eyes. She's staring at him with building concern, her smile becoming a frown of worry.

The tension is palpable in the air as Luka struggles to find words. Finally, he manages to say something.

"It's- it's a quarter past nine-"

"Oh shoot-" Clover says, sitting up abruptly as she grabs her own phone.

MJ checks his watch, wincing. "Oof. Sorry, Luka. I guess we lost track of time passing. I'll apologize to Cookie for the overtime, we can finish this round and go-"

"Don't feel good- going to the bathroom-" Luka wheezes, scrambling to his feet as he scoops all of his belongings into his bag and races past MJ's seat.

"Luka!" Clover yells after him, her heightened concern audible in her voice. "Ok, we'll- we'll start cleaning up! Let us know if you need-!"

Her words are cut off by the slam of the bathroom door. Luka's bowling shoes slip over the slick tile floor, his hands gripping onto the cold porcelain of the bathroom sink to steady himself. He brings his shaking hands up to view in the mirror. The blackening purple skin was spreading up his finger joints, reaching his palms.

No- not now! Why now?

Luka clenches his fists and his jaw, focusing every ounce of his will on making the purple go away. He can almost feel a vein pop on his forehead- if he still had veins, anymore- as he strains to make his unwilling body follow his desires. The purple starts to recede at a caterpillar crawl... but it slows. And the harder he tries, the more he can feel his arms struggle to hold their shape - becoming less solid.

"No- no!" he whimpers, clenching his hands into the sink again. The action splatters small droplets of purple sludge against the porcelain, which vanish moments later as the purple staining once more consumes his fingers - and now his palms. "Stop it! Just- let me be human! Please!"

He lifts his head to the mirror. Despair fills his gut as he sees amber eyes staring back at him in the reflection, and the beginnings of an inner glow fighting to come out from the back of his throat.

Luka lets out a wordless sound of sorrow, lifting an arm to pound one fist against the mirror in vain. The reflection is unfazed in its destitution, tears beginning to gather at the edges of its eyes and mouth set into a sob of clenched teeth. The reflection's canine's lengthen several inches as the eyes stare back, accusingly. The purple was starting to spread up its neck, just poking out the collar of the shirt.

"No..."

This wasn't him. But it had been, years ago. This was SUPPOSED to be him.

He curls his fist, watching as the fingers start losing their shape. Fusing together, becoming single digits and his thumbs vanish back into the purple sludge of the limb.

"I was finally-..." Luka whimpers, "...I finally felt human again."

-bang bang bang-

The sound of a fist knocking on the bathroom door causes Luka to yelp and jump back from the mirror.

"Luka? You ok in there?"

It was MJ.

Peck!

Grabbing his bag, Luka books it into the furthest stall of the bathroom. He slams the metal door behind him, fumbling to lock it with his swelling mitten fingers. Alarm shot through his gut as his shirt felt tight around his torso. Already?? This was faster than usual! Had he really pushed it that much?

"Hey man, are you sick? Clover and I are really concerned. Do you need any help in there?"

"NO! NO I'M GOOD!" Luka yells from the bathroom stall, clapping a two-fingered hand over his mouth as he hears the slight reverb echo to his own voice. Dammit! "I'M JUST- I'LL BE FINE!"

He was not fine, he would most certainly not be fine!

"Luka, you sound croaky." It was Clover this time, probably a short distance behind MJ. "Dude, are you sure? MJ, maybe you should go in and check on him-"

"NO!"

No, the reverb was stronger!

"Luka, I'm coming in."

"MJ it's fine!"

Luka could hear the seams of his shirt starting to stretch and strain. The seconds were ticking by as strings started to pop at the neck.

Shit, shit!

Luka turned left and right, the stall cramped and uncomfortable as the ruff of fur around his neck thickens and threatens to burst his shirt open. He needed a way out!

Aha! A small window, to the outside! Wow, that was probably the worst location for a window. And it was so small-

The door creaked as MJ started to turn the handle.

NO TIME!

Luka makes a dive for the window. His fingers catch on the sill, and he hauls his body up onto the tiny ledge, his head pushing up the glass and emerging out into the open air. Squeezing through the narrow space, he struggles to pull his feet through, kicking off the bowling shoes and hearing them clatter to the tiles below.

The door comes unlatched, and MJ enters the bathroom, looking around with a frown.

Luka was gone. And for some reason, his bowling shoes were abandoned on the questionably cleaned bathroom floor.

Just outside the window, tucked next to the wall of the alleyway outside the bowling alley, Luka is panting with adrenaline. He can feel his chest expand further with each breath, the fur mane around his neck already splitting apart his shirt. His fingers had fully lost their human shape by now, coalescing back into the familiar mitts he hated so much. A reminder that, no, he wasn't human. No matter what those people in the bowling alley thought of him, and what he thought of them in return... no matter how much he wanted to be human, again.

"Luka?"

His entire torso now fully drenched in purple, Luka hangs his head, listening as he fights to strip off the shirt suffocating him.

Footsteps, in the bathroom.

"...Luka? What the-... Clover, he's not here?"

"What?? But he- went into the bathroom! He was just-!"

"His shoes are here..."

"His shoes??"

Luka forces himself to stand, wobbling a bit further away from the window as he focuses all of his efforts on keeping his legs. He can't lose his ability to walk, not in the middle of town!

God dammit... god dammit! Why couldn't he just enjoy his night? Now he was wandering alleyways, half transformed, and MJ and Clover were no doubt worried to hell and back. What could he even say? 'Sorry, had to take a break to wolf out in the bathroom'?

-brrring brrring-

The buzz of the phone in his pants pocket- which was getting tight against his waist, he noticed. Luka quickly extracts the phone before it can be damaged by the fabric.

MJ's caller ID stares back at him from the screen.

The decision to trust these two with his information was biting him in his rapidly purpling behind. He'd been so careful not to slip up, and the ONE TIME he makes a mistake... He had another decision to make. He could not respond, and just be a complete asshole, but he could protect his secret a little safer, for just a little bit longer. Or he could pick up, and... he didn't know. Bullshit something? Would they even believe whatever malarkey he could cook up in seven seconds for bailing out of a bowling alley restroom? God, he was terrible at improvised excuses! He was a lawyer, not an actor! But if he answered the phone call, maybe- maybe he could hold on to that feeling again. The warmth of companionship of peers his age, that he hadn't felt since law school. Since... Vanessa. But he couldn't think about her right now. What mattered was his safety- his daughter's safety.

Peck. He didn't even think about that part. Could he really rip Harriet out of a somewhat stable home life, again? She was just starting to get along with Cookie's daughter, and he didn't want to take that precious first friendship from her.

Luka was only pulled out of the downward spiral by the vibration of the phone, which he only now realized had registered a missed call, and was now on the second call. It was still MJ, the picture of him in his Horizon employee cap still smiling from the bright phone screen.

He had to do something. He could feel his legs protest the form they was struggling to hold.

Survival instinct set in. First, he had to get away from the scene.

Stumbling to his malforming feet, Luka jogs away from the alley, ducking away from the Pins & Cushions and avoiding the bright neon sign on the side of the building.

As he walks, a headache hits, and Luka just knows his face was losing more of his familiar features. Didn't need a mirror to know that he was definitely the shade of a bruised plum, and that his eyes were glowing like gold beacons. The sharp teeth at the edges of his mouth were digging into his bottom lip as he dodges and weaves to avoid line of sight from storefront apartment windows.

The woods were so close by, just a few more blocks.

Faster. He had to run faster. But his legs- were fighting him! Already he could feel his steps become lighter, movement more fluid. It was a struggle to keep a walking stride, rather than just- leap into the air. No way was he going to fly a block from pecking main street.

His phone continues to vibrate, threatening the call to drop.

Right when he reaches the sidewalk, Luka pants for breath, collapsing beside the pole for a street lamp while avoiding the amber spotlight. Taking one last rueful look at his phone, he sighs, and presses the answer button with a doughy purple finger.

"Luka?" MJ's voice patches through. The reception isn't great, but it's sufficient. Maybe that was a lucky break, considering what his voice was going to sound like in a second.

"Hey," Luka answers. Yep. He sounded like a toad that swallowed a brass tube. "Sorry- about that."

"Dude, are you ok?? Where did you go?" MJ spoke so quickly it almost interrupted Luka, concern clear and evident in his voice. "You ran or something and- you left your shoes at the counter, and the cat plush for your daughter. Clover got them for you-"

"It's ok," Luka says, wincing. "I can pick them up tomorrow. I- don't feel well, and I have to go get Harriet."

"Luka, we could have driven you home for that," MJ responds, a hint of hurt and confusion. "You know you can tell us if you're uncomfortable, and want to leave, right?"

"No- this- I was having fun," Luka responds, cupping a hand over his mouth to try to muffle the echo. He had to wrap this up. His voice was getting less natural by the second. He really hoped the poor reception would mask it. "Look- I'm sorry MJ. But I really had to go."

"You're not getting kidnapped or something are you?" Clover's distant voice suddenly patches through in the phone. MJ must have his phone on speaker. "Because if you are, I'll hunt them down! Just yell where the car is taking you!"

"I'm not- look, I'm sorry, but I just had to go, ok?" Luka says. "Harriet needs me."

"I thought you were feeling sick?" Clover says, her worried tone now tinted with... suspicion. "You ran to the bathroom, and we were all worried about you, dude." Her voice becomes just a bit distant, as she turns to speak to MJ, but the phone picks it up. “Actually, did we ever hear anything from Cookie...?”

"No- I am-" Luka can feel his lies crumbling, nearly becoming true as he experiences a sensation similar to his stomach heaving from the anxiety. "Thanks for the wonderful evening, I'll pick up my stuff later- bye!"

"Wait-!!"

-click-

MJ's protest is cut off, and Luka set the phone down on the grass, putting his head in the other hand. That was terrible. But he couldn't back out on it now. He would just have to deal with the consequences of that phone call tomorrow.

Not like having shoes or not bothered him, anyway.

Exhausted and resigned, Luka slides away from the lamp post into the chaparral, and begins rapidly pulling his shirt over his head. No way was he going to lose another shirt, not after the last one. This was his last nice shirt, and he intended to keep it as long as possible!

A quiet gasp jolts him out of his frantic folding.

Luka whips around, shirtless, half de-pantsed, and his body a full shade of deep shadow purple. His golden eyes glow in the reflected street light as he freezes on the spot, making eye contact with another human being across the road. It was the stocky mustachioed man from the coffee shop- the regular who came by and sketched quietly in a corner. Pinstriped suit- which seemed to be the only outfit anyone ever saw him wore- an apron, and grey khaki pants. The thick glasses would make it difficult to tell where he was looking, if the man wasn't standing with his square jaw hanging down at his chest, head angled directly toward Luka. Everyone dismissed him as a paranoiac, a hermit who stopped by for his morning caffeine fix and quiet atmosphere to indulge in his imagination. Rumors flew that he used to work for some sort of tabloid magazine, and was fired- or promoted?- for how crazy his stories were.

Whatever the reason, this man was now standing, groceries dropped to the pavement, and staring at Luka. A very half-naked, absolutely not human-looking Luka.

Face suddenly burning hot with embarrassment and fear, Luka grabs his belt loops and bolts into the trees.

The movement causes the man to only gape more, making a wordless noise of astonishment before the forest breaks their line of sight and Luka retreats into the safety of the woods. Luka just barely remembers to grab his shirt and belt from the bushes. Vanishing entirely from sight, stumbling over debris as his transformation takes full hold of his body, Luka wheezes as his heart beats in his chest. After all that, he was seen! Peck! Did he just ruin everything because he wasn’t paying attention? But- but it was just the local hermit, the resident conspiracy nut. That wouldn’t be so bad, right? This wasn’t as catastrophic as being spotted by a teen with a cell phone open. Surely, this was the safest possible person in town to accidentally spot him mid-transformation. Repercussions would be minimal.

Thank god the man didn't have a camera.

#Coffee Shop Au #AHIT #A Hat In Time #doodledrawsthings #Snatcher #Hat Kid #Moonjumper #Clover #noticed a couple mistakes and it's too late to fix em wHOOPS #OH WELL

[clumsyclifford]

OKAY. how about "This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…" with ur teacher alex/ambiguous office job jack? (or any version of jalex) (we just love jalex in this house)

well hello, she said casually, nine months later. thank you for the excellent prompt, sorry it took me so long to get to it, but you can thank yourself for that too considering going to ssf is what inspired me to finally write this one. bellawritess clumsyclifford pictures is proud to present: the tshirt jalex meet-cute :)

read here on ao3

-

Later, Alex learns that the boy at the barricade who’d elbowed Alex in the face trying to snatch the thrown guitar pick out of the air is named Jack.

“I’m so sorry,” Jack says for the millionth time, even though Alex has laughed it off every other time. He laughs it off this time, too.

“Seriously, it’s fine. And hey, you caught it.”

Jack holds up the guitar pick, triumphant. “I did catch it,” he says. The blink-182 logo flashes its dead and frozen smile at Alex. Alex finds himself smiling back, though not so much at the pick.

The leaving crowd parts around the two of them. Headlights flood the night, filling the street before them with light and noise. There’s a line of cars backed up further than Alex cares to imagine. Those at the front must have left the show significantly before the set was over. Quitters.

“What I didn’t catch was your name,” Jack adds. His lips quirk, like he’s proud of such a smooth line.

“Alex,” says Alex. “We should probably get out of everyone’s way. Are you waiting for someone, or…?”

“No, no, I came alone.”

“Yeah, me too. Was supposed to have a friend but he bailed on me last-minute.”

“Seriously? Bailed on a blink concert?”

“I know, right?” Alex grins. “Eh, whatever. If he’d been here you probably never would have elbowed me in the face and then we’d never have met.”

“But I would’ve never elbowed you in the face,” Jack says. “Don’t you think you’d have preferred that?”

“Not if it means we’d have never met.”

Jack’s smile slowly grows. “Fair enough. Did you know there’s a 24-hour diner literally five minutes from here?”

“Oh, man, I like the way you think,” Alex says, shoving his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cool late-night breeze. “I didn’t want to sit in this traffic anyway.”

“And I don’t blame you.”

“Well, lead the way,” Alex says, nodding down the sidewalk, and he falls into step with Jack as they both start to walk.

-

The Tastee Diner is charmingly diner-y — neon lights, stools at the bar, the whole nine yards — and, more attractively, it’s mostly empty at this hour. It’s past midnight, later even than Alex’s usual bedtime, but between the buzz from the concert and Jack the attractive stranger across from him, he’s not really feeling tired. If he’s going to flush his sleep schedule down the drain, a post-concert Friday night seems like the best time to do it.

And Jack is really cute. So that helps.

“Breakfast,” Alex says reverently when they’re seated. “Oh my God, a fucking giant waffle.”

“Wow, everything you say makes me like you more,” Jack says, leaning his elbows on the table. Alex glances over the top of his menu but Jack’s eyes are focused on his own menu on the tabletop. He’s smiling a little. So is Alex.

“It’s a giant waffle, Jack! How the fuck do I say no to that?”

“You don’t. This table is pro-giant waffle. At the exclusion of anything else.”

“You’re damn right it is,” Alex says. “Do we also happen to be pro-chocolate milkshake?”

“We’re pro-vanilla milkshake.”

“Ew, seriously?”

Jack rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know, how can I like vanilla when chocolate is right there—”

“Yeah, how can you?” Alex reaches over the table and covers Jack’s hand with his own. Their eyes meet. Very seriously, Alex says, “How do you look at yourself in the mirror, you monster?”

A beat. Jack chews his lip, clearly trying not to smile. “With great difficulty,” he says. He’s humoring Alex, but sincerity sparkles in his deep brown eyes. His earnest gaze holds Alex’s and he doesn’t pull his hand away. After a moment, Alex does.

“Well, if I looked like you I’d never stop looking in the mirror,” he says instead, and brings his gaze back to the menu. A laugh escapes Jack.

“You can’t turn it off, can you?”

“Turn what off?”

“Your flirty brain-to-mouth pipeline?”

“I could,” Alex says breezily. “I choose not to.” It feels like a subtle rejection, a quiet dig, but it’s hard to be sure. Jack’s smirk seems to suggest otherwise.

The waitress comes by to take their orders of two giant waffles and two milkshakes — chocolate for Alex, vanilla for Jack, though Alex is sure to give Jack a judgmental look as he’s ordering. When she goes, Jack laces his fingers together and leans back in the booth. “So,” he says. “Your name is Alex, you’ve got fantastic music taste, and you seem to be more or less my age, but that’s about all I know about you. Are you from around here? What do you do? Likes, dislikes?”

“Are you trying to build me a dating profile?”

“That wouldn’t be very opportunistic of me, would it?” Jack smiles innocently. Alex’s heart gives a little leap. “I’m trying to get to know you. You know, like any normal stranger would if they found themself at a diner with another stranger.”

That’s fair. They are effectively strangers, although Alex can think of a shorter word to describe what they’re doing right now. He glances around at the jukebox-esque machine bolted to the wall next to their booth, at the empty swivel stools at the bar, at the marble tabletop where Jack is absently tapping his fingers. The decor of the diner is very classic, and he and Jack, both dressed in blink merch and black jeans like the perpetual emo teens they’re no doubt trying to emulate, stick out like sore thumbs.

However unintentional, it sure as hell feels like a date to him.

“I’m from Baltimore,” he starts. Jack lights up.

“No shit! Me too.”

“Really? Whereabouts?”

“Well, I work by the harbor.”

“No shit, I work in Highlandtown,” Alex says excitedly. “Highlandtown Middle. I’m a teacher.”

Jack whistles lowly. “That’s fucking awesome. What do you teach?”

“Music,” Alex says, and Jack groans, although he’s smiling as his hands move to cover his face.

“Of course you do,” he says.

Alex tilts his head. “What, are you not a fan of music teachers? That’s insane.”

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just.” Jack laughs. “Of course the hot guy I meet at a blink-182 concert is a middle school music teacher. I feel like God is punishing me for refusing to play anything but bad drums in middle school band.”

Alex also laughs. Being called a hot guy by a hot guy is making his stomach do gymnastics. He’s too old for his stomach to be doing things like that, but his stomach clearly doesn’t care. “Well, if I’d been your teacher, trust me, you’d have been playing solidly mediocre drums. But I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Jack’s hands fall to his lap. “I’m sure I’ll get over it,” he says with a slanted smile.

Alex swallows and grins. “So did you look up surrounding diners before you came, or are you just…inexplicably familiar with Silver Spring geography?”

“I come to a lot of concerts here,” Jack says, nodding in the general direction of the venue they’d just vacated. “Venue’s awesome.”

“Yeah, it really is. Honestly, I’m still amazed that you caught that pick.”

“I have a lot of practice. From aforementioned many concerts.”

“I can see that.”

“Trust me, it’s a very specific skill. I’ve got awful hand-eye coordination,” Jack says with a chuckle. “My dream of being the youngest Oriole inducted into the Hall of Fame was crushed at a young age.”

Fizzy champagne fills Alex’s chest. He can’t stop smiling. “Fuck yes, you’re an Orioles fan?”

“That’s my team,” Jack says, looking excited. Possibly at the prospect of meeting another person who’s equally interested in both music and baseball. That’s why Alex is excited, anyway.

“It’s my team,” he says enthusiastically. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, they fucking suck—”

“Oh, no, yeah, they’re the worst—”

“But I’d take a bullet for them. I happily go down with ‘em every year.”

“Yeah, they’re my boys,” Jack agrees. “Here’s hoping this season is better than every single other one.”

“Yeah, all my fingers are crossed, but between you and me I don’t have a lot of faith.”

Jack shrugs and nods. “It’s good for my ego to be so loyal to such a bad team. Keeps me humble.”

“That’s the best attitude I’ve ever heard,” Alex says, and Jack’s smile is so radiant Alex could swear he can feel the glare off the shiny marble tabletop.

-

“Between ‘All The Small Things’ and ‘Going Away To College’ how the fuck am I going to choose ‘Small Things’?”

“Yeah, but it’s such a classic! ‘College’ is, like, emo and…emo.”

“No more emo than ‘I Miss You’ —”

“That one is a classic—”

“I’m not saying it’s not, I’m just saying ‘College’ is their best song and it deserves its spotlight.”

“That’s ‘Feeling This’ erasure and you know it.”

“Besides ‘Feeling This,’ but they always play ‘Feeling This.’ I stand by what I said. I’d swap ‘Small Things’ for ‘College.’ Deal with it.” Alex tongues his milkshake straw into his mouth. “Your turn.”

Jack glares at him for another long moment, like he has to properly make his point about it. “Fine,” he finally huffs. His gaze shifts sideways, off into the distance like he’s thinking, and he swirls his own straw around his milkshake cup. Alex can kind of see his reflection in it. While Jack is thinking, Alex quickly checks his phone.

(21:47) Rian Dawson: How’s the concert? Fuckin bummed I couldn’t make it :/

(21:48) Rian Dawson: Hope you’re having a good time anyway. Text me whenever you get home so I know you didn’t die or get trampled by a mosh pit or whatever the case may be.

Alex smiles and turns off his phone again.

“I feel like I can’t choose a song off Enema now that you did,” Jack mumbles.

“You can,” Alex says. “It would just be kind of a lot of Enema.”

“No, but Enema is a legendary album. I’d go to a show that was literally just all of Enema.”

“Why were you complaining about ‘College’ then!”

“I’m not complaining about ‘College’ itself, I just would never trade it for ‘Small Things’!”

Alex scoffs. “They play ‘Small Things’ all the time. I’ve never seen ‘College’ live. I’d literally kill.”

“Oh my God, I know what I’d do,” Jack says. “‘Shut Up’ instead of ‘Down.’ That’s the only thing that could make this set list more perfect.”

“Ohhh,” Alex says, “that would be fucking sick. Imagine two thousand people just shouting ‘shut the fuck up, she said’ at the top of their lungs.”

“I cannot think of anything cooler than that.”

Alex hums thoughtfully. “So you went with Take Off Your Pants instead of Enema in the end.”

“Alright, don’t get it twisted. If I could add the entirety of Enema to the set list, I would. But if I only get one song, it has to be ‘Shut Up.’ More Enema is never a bad thing.”

“Why wouldn’t you trade ‘College’ for ‘Down’ then?”

“Because that was your set list move, and this is mine,” Jack says. He slaps the table. “Yeah. This is the answer. Someone get Mark Hoppus on the line, stat. I have to tell him I’ve figured out the formula for the perfect set list.”

“‘Shut Up’ live would be awesome,” Alex concedes. “Good move.”

“What can I say, I have extremely good taste,” Jack says airily.

Alex snorts. “Okay, Vanilla Milkshake.”

“You’re just afraid to taste it because you know deep down that it will be better than your chocolate one,” Jack says, pointing his straw accusingly at Alex. Drops of milkshake fall onto the table. Alex sweeps a napkin over the mess.

“You had an advantage over me, though,” he observes. “You said your favorite blink song is ‘Feeling This,’ which was already on the set list. My favorite song wasn’t, so my hands were kind of tied.”

“It’s among my favorite blink songs,” Jack says. “I have many. Most of which are set list staples, yeah. But that’s on you for only having one favorite song.”

“Wait, what? You can’t have many favorites, that defeats the whole point of having a favorite.”

“I can have multiple favorites, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“No way, man. You only get to have one favorite. You can have second-favorites or close favorites but there’s always one that’s better than the rest.”

“Sorry to burst you bubble, Al, but I have more than one favorite blink song,” Jack says, shrugging. “I also have more than one favorite color and more than one favorite food and more than one favorite song.”

Alex shakes his head through Jack’s speech. “I reject this out of hand.”

“You can’t.”

“Well, Clearly Enema is your favorite blink album.”

“Tied with Take Off.”

“Seriously?” Alex narrows his eyes. “Come on, there must be one thing you have just one favorite of.”

“Yeah, there is,” Jack says. “My favorite movie is Home Alone. No other movie comes anywhere close.”

Of course it is. Alex grins and inclines his head in accordance. “That…is extremely good taste.”

“Thank you,” Jack says graciously, and slurps loudly from his milkshake.

-

The next time Alex checks his phone, his brain takes a moment to catch up. “Holy shit, it’s already one a.m.?”

“Oh shit,” Jack says, checking his phone as well. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

That adage has never felt more true. Slowly working through giant waffles and milkshakes while exchanging questions and random conversational topics with Jack has been the most fun Alex has had in a long time. Diners, he muses. There’s something about diners. Time feels frozen within these walls, and Alex kind of wants to stay in the time bubble forever, laughing with Jack until the sun comes up.

He could do it. Tomorrow’s a Saturday. Nobody works on Saturday, not even Jack at his “boring office job” (his words).

But he knows there’s a reason that nothing gold can stay. It wouldn’t be valuable if it lasted forever. The night will crystallize as something special in Alex’s memory, but it can’t do that until it ends. And it has to end eventually.

“We should probably go,” Alex says reluctantly. Jack nods once.

“Yeah,” he says. He signals for the check and looks back at Alex. “My treat.”

“Uh, no way. I’m paying.”

“Nope, not happening. I will elbow you in the face again if I have to. I’m paying this check.”

“Jack—” Alex wavers. Jack looks so insistent, eyebrows raised like he’s daring Alex to argue, and there’s nothing to do but smile. “Okay. If you insist. We’ll call it even for you assaulting me earlier.”

“Exactly,” Jack says, and he happily accepts the check when the waitress hands it to him.

“Did you guys get everything you need?” she asks the two of them.

Alex glances at Jack, but Jack’s scanning the check. “Pretty much, yeah,” he tells the waitress. She leaves them with the check, and they vacate their table to go pay it at the front.

Alex wonders what someone might think if they saw this table. Whether anyone could even begin to illustrate the story of the night using only two empty milkshake cups and two plates that formerly held waffles. It would be impossible. Not even Sherlock Holmes could work this one out.

Alex smiles. They’re a fossil in amber, preserved in memory. Even if it turns out not to be a date, Alex knows he’ll look back on tonight fondly, and he can count on this exact same smile every time he does.

Jack finishes paying and turns to face Alex. One arm outstretched, he says, “Shall we?”

Alex links their arms. “After you, good sir.”

They’re laughing as they leave in a glow of neon light.

-

“This is me,” Alex says, gesturing half-heartedly at his car. They both stop short behind it.

“Ah,” Jack says, nodding. “So I guess this is where I leave you.”

Alex swallows. “I’m glad you elbowed me in the face,” he admits, which sounds strange to say out of the blue. “I had a good time tonight.”

“What, at the concert?”

Jack is obviously teasing, but Alex doesn’t mind being more clear. “Actually, I think I had more fun after the concert,” he says, smiling a little. “You’re good company, JB.”

Jack smiles, and if Alex isn’t mistaken, he’s also blushing. “Same to you,” he says. “Despite your wrong opinions about the set list.”

“I hate sounding like a cliché,” Alex says, ruffling a hand through his hair. Jack cocks his head. “But, um, I’d like to see you again. If that’s okay.”

“So okay,” Jack says. “And totally plausible, considering we apparently live within twenty minutes of each other.”

“True,” Alex says. “The universe really wanted us to meet, I guess.”

“Thank you, Universe, for putting Alex in harm’s way,” Jack says solemnly, looking upwards. Alex laughs. “Can I have your number?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.”

Alex recites his phone number for Jack to enter into his contacts. “I promise I’ll call,” Jack says. His gaze flits around Alex’s face like it can’t find a good place to land. He drags his index finger diagonally over his chest. “Cross my heart and everything.”

“I have to ask,” Alex says, shifting on his feet. “Were you— was this supposed to be a date?” He hesitates; maybe that’s the wrong question. “Was it a date?”

“For the sake of anniversaries, let’s say yes,” Jack says. Immediately his face puckers in regret. “Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m— my brain gets ahead of me.”

“No, it’s all good.” It’s more than good; there’s a horde of butterflies in Alex’s ribcage that won’t fucking quit, not now that he knows Jack is thinking of anniversaries when this is only maybe their first date. A person who is not only anticipating a future for them but preparing to celebrate it. So far, so fucking good. “You’re a practical thinker. I can appreciate that.”

“And I appreciate that you aren’t deleting your number from my phone even after I just said that to you,” Jack says, grinning. His grin melts away when he sighs. “I should go. It’s late.”

“Yeah,” Alex echoes. “Late.”

“Please drive safe,” Jack says seriously. “If I’m the last person to see you before you die, that’ll make me look really bad.”

Alex laughs. He likes that Jack keeps making him laugh. His friends make him laugh, too, but Jack makes him laugh in a different way, like he can’t stop himself. Like the delight refuses to stay trapped.

“I promise to drive safe,” he vows. “I owe you a date. I would hate to lose the chance to impress you.”

“Oh, wait, that reminds me.” Jack reaches into his pocket and presses something into Alex’s hand. It’s the guitar pick, warm from Jack’s pocket. “You’ll probably use it more than me,” Jack explains, ducking his head. “You know, being a music teacher and all.”

“Oh,” Alex breathes, flipping the pick in his palm. “That’s, um…thank you. Thanks. I’m…”

“Yeah,” Jack says, licking his lips. “Of course. Um, okay, now I really should go. But like I said, I’ll call.”

Alex nods, still staring at the guitar pick in his hand. His head snaps up and he breaks from whatever trance he’d fallen into. “I’m counting on it,” he says, stepping closer to Jack. He hears Jack inhale as he leans closer, brushing his lips to Jack’s cheek.

When Jack speaks, it’s a hoarse whisper. “I had a good time too, you know.”

Alex leans away and starts walking backwards to the driver-side door. “Good,” he says, smiling warmly. He’s not really trying to smile so warmly but he can’t help it. “Get home safe, Jack.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “You too, Alex.”

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #guys the 2011 blink tour set list was fucking BOMB #i mean i dont know all the songs but of the ones i did........bangin #i feel like i should tag this with AP style because its so aggressively There #anyway #happy tshirt jalex backstory fic day everyone #im putting this in my drafts so i can maybe post it tomorrow #at a slightly more acceptable hour #because im making this draft at 3am lol #and whilst i recognize that 3am fic is kind of my brand #i also just kinda want to sleep #give it one more reread when i have a little more sleep under my belt. see about any last minute edits #you know #alrighty good afternoon everyone i have finished my final edits and now this fic is yours for the reading #enjoy

[summerstardust]

Did You Miss Me? Part 7

Dhawan!Master x Reader --- Previous Missy x Reader

AN: I finished this at like one in the morning, so I hope that this is good!

Summary: It has been over a month since The Master appeared again and him and the reader are living a happy Human life. But through your daily routines together will the reader discover something off about The Master.

Warnings: some alcohol consumption

Word Count: 2832

“I hate pretending to be Human!” The Master screamed into the air as soon as he entered the apartment. You didn’t know if he was just shouting out of rage or if he actually knew that you were home and the comment was direct toward you. You, however, assumed the former. The two of you had been living together in your apartment for a little over a month now, and most everything was working out. The Master would help you with your studies and you would help The Master with his school plans and pretending to be Human. But then there were days like today where both of you were tired of iterating with Humans. The Master’s reactions were always more bombastic.

You were nestled under many blankets on your couch, having taken a break from doing some homework. Evidently, The Master had not seen you and was just screaming out into the air in frustration. So when he turned the corner and saw your face peeking out from one of your blankets, he jumped and almost dropped his work bag! He gasped and placed a hand over his hearts while looking away from you. You remained silent, but continued to watch his actions. Once The Master calmed down he threw his work bag and plaid purple coat onto a nearby chair and removed his shoes. He then walked over to you and removed your blankets. You were about to protest because of the sudden coldness, but The Master crawled and laid on top of you before cocooning the pair of you in your blankets.

“What was it this time?” You eventually asked, but The Master only mumbled something into your chest, causing reverberations to run through your body. You were unable to hear what he said. “I’m sorry, love, what was that?” Like a petulant child, he dramatically shifted to where his chin was resting on your sternum, causing the pout already written on his face to double.

“The self checkout machine at the grocery store refused to work. I wasn’t able to get  anything and my boss invited us to a dinner party again!” You tried to hold back your amusement at The Master’s complaints while rubbing circles on his back.

“How did you survive before you met me?” You joked.

“I either had random people do my bidding or my TARDIS.” The Master moved to cuddle into your neck and motioned for you to play with his hair.

“Oh, poor little baby! So overwhelmed by having to take care of themselves.”

“You're so mean!”

“I’m mean! You're the destroyer of worlds!” The Master sighed and slumped down onto your shoulder, you continued to run your hands through his hair until he calmed down a bit.

The Master usually only slept at night beside you. He obviously didn’t need to sleep as much as you. Throughout both regenerations you encountered, they often said that Timelords(or ladys) were more advanced than Humans and didn’t need to do things as often as your species, like sleeping and eating. But The Master would always stay by your side and protect you during the night. However, The Master seemed incredibly stressed, more stressed than usual so you told him to take a nap while you went to get the groceries and that the pair of you would discuss the dinner party when you came back.

It was a quick trip to the store without The Master. You loved him, but he was oftly distracting! You noticed that whenever The Master pretended to be Human, they tended to obsess about every Human thing. He tried to explain it to you once, basically he thinks that he must be knowledgeable in every Human thing to accurately convince people that he is Human. You tried to explain to him that no Human is fully aware of everything  on the planet, and that’s just part of being a Human. But everytime the two of you go to the store, The Master insists on extensively researching everything he sees. 

When you returned to your apartment, The Master was not asleep on the couch where you left him, nor had he moved to your now shared bed. Once you crossed the threshold of your bedroom, you noticed that your wardrobe door was open. You were more preoccupied with your thoughts on where The Master could have disappeared to, then you remembered that that wardrobe was the TARDIS. Neither you or The Master had entered it in over a month and a thick layer of dusk had accumulated from lack of use. You were confused by this and wondered what The Master would need in his TARDIS, or what he could be doing in there all of a sudden. 

You slowly made your way to the wardrobe and peaked your head around the open door. The Master was in deep concentration, pushing buttons and pulling levers. You creeped further into the TARDIS and cleared your throat to get The Master’s attention. His head whipped toward your direction, a stern glare clearly visible on his face.

“What are you doing in here?” You asked softly as to not anger him more.

“You aren’t supposed to be back yet.” You were shocked by his response. It was cold and emotionless and completely unlike how he ever treated you. You recovered from your shock quickly, however.

“But I am back. So why didn’t you answer my question?”

“I am allowed to enter my TARDIS whenever I want.” He was just as cold in speech as he aggressively pushed more buttons and pulled more levers. 

“I understand that and I’m not stupid. I understand that you are going through more than I could ever imagine, despite the fact that I constantly tell you that I am here for you if you ever want to discuss it. But despite everything, you have no right to talk to me like that.” The Master stopped what he was doing and you saw his face calm down, and almost look remorseful. Before he could respond you quickly spoke, “Finish whatever you are doing so we can talk about the dinner party.” You quickly walked out of the TARDIS, slamming the door behind you, and exited your room toward the kitchen to actually put away all of your groceries you left on the counter. You didn’t expect to be this upset, because you always knew that this was not The Master’s home. He would always want to go back to space and back to traveling, but you hoped that after this past month, he would appreciate your time together over revenge.

When you packed away the last of the groceries, The Master softly trudged into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table with his head down. You hopped up onto the kitchen counter and swung your legs back and forth, waiting for The Master to speak first.

“An alarm went off in the TARDIS. The Doctor was trying to hack into the console. Probably to see what you were up to because you haven’t been responding to her texts.” His voice was soft but agitated, you could tell that he wasn’t mad at you, it was because of The Doctor.

“I’ve been talking to everyone else, I just don’t want to talk to her. Do you fix everything?”

“Yeah.” He nobbed then looked to you, “I might have to monitor it every once in a while, just so you know.” You nodded and told him that you understood, even though you feared that he might leave.

“We are still going to the dinner party, though.”

“Ugh!!! What? I don’t want to go!” You laughed after successfully distracting The Master from The Doctor.

“You have to, though!”

“But why?” He quickly moved from his seat to leaning his hands on the kitchen counter, trapping you between his arms. His chocolate eyes were pleading that you would change your mind, but you didn’t.

“Because you have to pretend to be Human, Master, and Humans go to parties thrown by their coworkers.” The Master groaned and fell forward to lean his head on your shoulder.

“But you said that I can just call them and say that I’m sick. His voice was muffled, but you eventually made out what he was saying.

“Yeah, but you did that the last two times you were invited. You can’t do that three times in a row. It’s just rude.” The Master sighed into your neck, then eventually moved to look at you again.

“Fine, I’ll go. But only if you wear something scandalous!” The Master smirked hopefully, but you jokingly pushed The Master away from you, giving him a curt “no” before dragging him back to your room to get changed.

You ended up wearing a suit similar to the one you wore to Barton’s party, but with more purple, thanks to The Master and his TARDIS. The Master wore purple corduroy pants with a soft sweater vest and black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Not surprisingly, The Master took longer to get ready than you did. It was funny how anxious he became when he had to impress other people while pretending to be a Human. However, he would never admit to this.

The Master convinced you to use a vortex manipulator he had stowed away deep in his TARDIS to travel to the dinner party, but only if the pair of you travel back in a cab or uber on the way back.

The pair of you appeared about a block away from The Master’s boss’s home, so the two of you could walk to the front door without other guests seeing the alien technology.

You walked with your arm curled around The Master’s, who kept his hands in his pockets out of nervousness. You rang the doorbell and a man wearing a unique waistcoat quickly opened the door. He was already very drunk, sloshing around a half filled glass of champagne, and was grinning like a maniac. He laughed, seemingly at nothing, then bellowed a loud “hello, come inside! Grab a drink!” The pair of you apprehensively looked toward each other, then slowly walked past the very drunk man and into the home.

The home of The Master’s Human boss seemed to be owned by someone who was older than the person The Master described. It was filled with rugs and doilies and random nick nacks of animals dressed in cottegecore like clothing. The home, in general, was covered in an alarming amount of mustard yellow colored things and there were many hand crocheted blankets on armchairs and sofas. Suddenly, The Master’s boss came over to the pair of you, calling his alias name. He was just as The Master described, middle aged and bored of his wife.

“So you do have a significant other after all, Owen!” 

“Yes, I do, sir.”

“But good for you, Owen, they are very pretty!” The headmaster of the school leered at you, thinking that he was smooth. You rejected the leer and curled into The Maser, causing the headmaster to cough awkwardly. “We all thought that you were making them up and that was why you refused to come to our dinner parties. ”

“No, I’m afraid that I’m just not a party person, sir.”

“I had to pressure him to come, I’m afraid.” You eventually managed to bolt into the conversation, most of which The Master’s boss liked to dominate.

“And we are glad that you did, sweetheart!” The headmaster placed a sweaty hand on your shoulder and squeezed, while smiling a creepy smile at you. He eventually left to talk to more guests, so you turned to try and calm The Master down. Throughout the conversation you could feel how tense and angry he was coming at the idea of not being able to retaliate.

You suggested that the two of you should get some food and drinks then retreat to a secluded corner of the home. Eventually, The Master did start cheering up, just from the two of you talking. But then the headmaster’s wife, who was even more drunk than the man who opened the door, came barrelling out of the kitchen threatening to sing her favourite show tunes. 

All of the other drunk individuals were raucously telling her to start singing. You felt The Master shift beside you and you saw him pull out his TCE from his pocket. You tried to non verbally tell The Master to stop doing whatever he was planning, but he was only focused on the light hanging above the headmaster’s wife.

“Don’t.” You finally said, but he did. The Master used his TCE to break a light bulb from across the room. The wife of The Master’s boss screamed in surprise. You glared at The Master while he tried to hide his smirk. 

“Why did you do that?” The Master snorted, unable to keep himself from laughing.

“Why not? This evening has been incredibly boring and some people need to learn to not touch what isn’t theirs.” You couldn’t disagree, it was a boring evening and his coworkers were annoying, but then you saw that a shard or the light bulb lodged itself into the wife’s fleshy arm, and that was too far. You also knew that was adding to The Master’s laughter.

“I think we should leave.” You were stern in your statement, causing The Master’s smirk to crumble. He nodded silently then held out his hand for you to take. You did take his hand, but coldly, before The Master led you through the house and let The Master explain to his boss for your departure. Once outside, you let go of The Master’s hand and he silently called an uber.

The two of you rod back to your apartment in an uber, not speaking to one another or the driver. You only spoke to give a quick “thank you” to the driver when they dropped you off at your apartment, but other than that, the pair of you still did not speak. The Master walked up to your apartment building faster than you, and opened all of the locked doors with his TCE so you didn’t have to. The two of you remained silent while you got ready for bed and changed into your matching purple pajamas. 

“I love you, but please don’t do that again. Especially because your boss’s wife didn't do anything to us.” The Master turned to see you already in bed and moving the blankets to welcome him in. He loved that even though you were upset, you still always thought of him. He wished that he was more like you.

“She was annoying, though.” The Master was trying to make you laugh, but you just glared back. The Master moved to join you in bed.“I’m sorry. I won't do it again, I promise.” You thanked him for making that promise, then wished him a good night. 

You had gone to sleep rather quickly, especially because the day was so tiring, but The Master didn’t have the same luck. You woke up in the middle of the night, originally to get some water from your kitchen, but you were distracted when you saw the light cascading out for the open wardrobe in front of your bed. You then noticed that The Master wasn’t beside you. You slowly crawled out of bed and snuck through the TARDIS doors and saw The Master working away at the TARDIS console again.

“What are you doing up? You should be asleep. You have a big day tomorrow!” The Master seemed shocked and genuinely worried about you, but he was still trying to deflect from being caught again.

“Couldn’t I say the same for you?”

“Yes, but I’m a Timelord an I-”

“Don’t need to sleep as much as I do. I know, Master, you say that all the time. I just don’t understand why you can’t stay the night in bed with me like you have been. I sleep better with you beside me.” The Master nodded and followed you back to bed without a fuss. Once in bed, The Master opened his arms for you to cuddle into his chest. 

In the middle trying to fall asleep, you mumbled out “You never told me that thing you wanted to tell me from a couple of weeks ago..”

“It can wait, my love.” Even The Master sounded tired.

“Are you sure? I know that you said that it wasn’t anything too serious, but-”

“Y/N, trust me. What I have to tell you is serious, but not in the way that you think. I just want to make the moment special, so it can wait.” You sleeping mumbled an “okay” and nuzzled into The Master’s neck, making him smile. He really was treasuring his time with you, especially because he knew that it was going to end soon. So he had to make any moment count.

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #doctor who imagine #the master #the master x reader #the master imagine #dhawan!master x reader #dhawan!master #dhawan!master imagine #sacha dhawan #personal post #fanfiction

[punkpoemprose]

December 4th- The Movie Date

Universe: 2000′s AU Rating: G (General Audiences) Length: 1720 Words

Note: This fic deals with Kristoff and Anna waiting in line to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in 2007 because for me the 2000′s were pretty much all Harry Potter all the time. I just want to say that while I’ve always been a fan of the Harry Potter series, I am not a fan of JK Rowling and her TERF ideology. If you like this fic please consider donating to The Trevor Project or another charity of your choice that supports trans folks. Trans rights are human rights.

Also on a less important note: I fucked with the timeline a bit because I wanted the last book to have come out before the fifth movie for the plot stuff I could do with it. Technically speaking the last book came out ten days later than the film, but semantics.

If someone had told him a year ago that he would be dressed up in a wizard costume, standing in line for over five hours just to get seats to see a movie, he would have called them crazy. Of course, he’d heard of Harry Potter, even then. It was a cultural phenomenon and really he’d been meaning to read the books at some point, it was just that he was busy with work or it was hockey season, or something came up and he never really found the time to sit down and read the books. That was, of course, all the excuses he’d made before Anna.

He’d met her mostly by mistake while at work. He’d been working on laying up brick for a new fountain in the city park, and she’d been walking a big fluffy white dog by one hand while texting someone on her Nokia with the other, and it hadn’t ended particularly well for anyone involved. The long story short was that she’d broken her arm, he’d needed stitches in his cheek, and the dog, Olaf, had needed to have chunks of fur cut away after cement dried into his fluffy tail.

It had also, coincidentally worked out very well for at least the human parts of the incident as, once they’d finished arguing over who was at fault, they’d also started talking civilly and despite their aches and pains, had actually went out for coffee after the incident. At the time, a Starbucks had just opened in town and it had been the excuse they’d both used, along with the promise of apology coffee, for their first date.

She’d been easy to fall in love with, and when she’d brought up the kids series and her love of it on their first date, he’d finally had the shove he needed to stop making excuses and read them.  He didn’t end up loving them nearly so much as she did. He’d never been much of a fantasy guy, but still after hours reading the books and discussing them with her, they’d ordered the movies through Netflix and watched them together as they arrived in the mail.

That was six months before they moved in together. Now, while he still wasn’t as into the series as Anna, he could say that he knew as much as anyone who had finished the series in July when the final book came out. He’d needed to stand in line then too, but it had been worth it to bring it home and watch Anna, who had been sick, marathon the book between breaks for NyQuil and sustenance. The snot and tears he’d endured, laying on the couch with her, her head on his chest, had been all worth it in the end, as the hours in line and the silly costume were now.

The things I do for love.

“Okay, so as soon as they let us in, we’ll snag the best seats. You’re on guard duty while I get popcorn because you look tough.”

He snorted, both at the fact that she had a game plan, and because he really didn’t feel like he looked tough at all in his Gryffindor tie (though he’d been told by Anna, and a quiz she’d found on Quizilla.com, that he was much more of a Hufflepuff) and large black robe. In fact, he felt like he looked a little bit ridiculous, but Anna, in comparison, looked lovely.

She’d decided to dress like Fleur Delacour in her Beauxbaton’s uniform, and he knew that he, by association was meant to be Bill Weasley, something which he not only liked the idea of from a romantic sense, but also by characterization. He’d liked Bill in the books, and for what it was worth, he’d also liked Fleur despite the way other characters looked at her. While he wasn’t sure he was quite brave enough to be Bill, he did like his work ethic, the strong sense of right and wrong he seemed to display, and his love for his family. Anna made an excellent Fleur, particularly in the sense that he found her so lovely that she could certainly have some Veela heritage, even if they were fictional.

“I’ll endeavor to do my best,” he said, only half teasing.

“You’ll do fine I’m sure. I mean they’re only selling as many tickets as they have seats, and it’s been sold out for weeks, so once we get our seats it’s not like anyone can make us move or kick us out or something.”

He nodded, “Honestly Anna I think that everyone is just excited to see the movie, I doubt they’re going to fight us on seats too much.”

“But if they do, we’re going to win.”

He laughed at that. There was a glint in her eye that seemed more like they were about to go to battle than that they were going to walk into a movie theater. He loved her competitive nature, particularly when it wasn’t aimed toward him, in their Livingroom, playing Call of Duty. Her bloodlust was legendary when a win was on the line, and “all is fair in love and war” was the law of the land as soon as the PlayStation turned on.  

“So I know you have a rule about soda because whenever you get it you have to pee halfway through the movie, but would you mind grabbing me a cherry coke when you get the popcorn? Because I haven’t had a drink in five hours and I understand the Order of the Phoenix is very important, and I was willing to sacrifice for it, but I’m going to need to drink something soon or I’m going to look like a dementor…”

He trailed off, noticing that Anna wasn’t paying any attention to a word he was saying, but instead was staring off past the pinball machines and crane games that dotted the lobby, straight over to the ticket counter, where a girl, appearing to be around ten, wearing a Quidditch uniform was crying into her extremely frazzled looking mother’s skirt.

“Oh geeze,” Anna said quietly, much lower than when they were explaining their battle plan, “That poor kid. I bet her Mom didn’t think to buy ahead… she probably didn’t realize how popular it was going to be.”

Kristoff frowned, he had a sister about her age, and there was nothing worse than watching her cry over anything. As much as he was wrapped around Anna’s finger, he’d been wrapped around hers first. There were many years, when she was even younger, that he’d bring himself to exhaustion carrying her around on his shoulders, reading her stories, and doing whatever it took to keep her happy. He could only imagine how much more he’d want to please a kid of his own.

“Anna… is she wearing a birthday girl pin on her robe?”

He probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he noticed the pink button and crown when she turned and wiped her little eyes.

“It is,” Anna agreed, frowning, “It is definitely a birthday girl pin. I bought Elsa the same one last month… but I don’t think she wore it as proudly as that kid is.”

An announcement was made over the lobby PA system informing the theatergoers that rope drop to enter theaters 1-4 for the release showing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix would be in just five minutes. When Anna quickly ducked under the rope to the side of them that they’d been standing between for five hours, Kristoff smiled to himself, already knowing where she was going.

***

“’Well, I’m glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate’, she said, pointing him out of her office.”

Anna snorted, jostling the book, as Kristoff held it with one hand and played with her hair with the other. Her head was rested against his chest on their couch, and despite the late hour they were both still awake and quite comfortable.

“I love how you’re doing your best Maggie Smith impression when you read McGonagall’s parts. It’s almost like I can see it.”

He leaned forward and a bit awkwardly placed a kiss on her forehead as he flipped the book closed. They’d finished Chapter Twelve and while he would start Chapter Thirteen if she wanted him to, a moment to rest was required before they read any further.

“I’m sorry we didn’t actually go see it,” he replied, “But I’m glad that we found something else to do tonight. That little girl and her mom looked like they’d been given a million dollars when you handed them the tickets.”

Anna smiled at that, her eyes fluttering open. Her eyes were still  a little sad and at odds with her grin, but he supposed that it only made sense that she was still happy and sad about her decision to give up a night she’d been planning for months to a child she didn’t even know.

“Well I mean… I would want someone to do it for our… I mean my kid. You know, if we… I had one.”

The slip wasn’t unnoticed by him, and setting the book down onto the floor, he pulled her in tighter to his chest, wrapping both arms around her tightly. She squirmed a bit in his embrace, laughing at how between him and the blanket she was all but cocooned.

“Someday,” he said, “Yeah, I would hope someone would do that for our kid. Or you know… kids.”

She stopped squirming and instead hummed appreciatively at his comment.

“Maybe,” she said, “A whole burrow’s worth.”

They’d only briefly talked before about marriage and a family, but he did like the idea of a big family. He had many siblings, and he loved being with them even though he often considered himself a bit of an introvert, but he knew that Anna loved people, and she loved noise. He could imagine her happy in a big house with plenty of smiling faces and loud joyful voices to fill it.

“Someday,” he said confidently, thinking of the end of the final book, her sobbing into his shirt over a happy ending with families and friends and young children who were products of love and loyalty, “Someday Anna we will.”

#kristannaadvent2020 #kristanna #2000's au #frozen fanfiction #harry potter references #tw harry potter #tw jk rowling

[fandom-necromancer]

905. Why are you constantly carrying that thing around with you?

And another number 905 for the wonderful @markusandkaraandconnor! Thanks for prompting and enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: Racism against Androids in the first two paragraphs)

‘Look at them… Damn android fuckers start to sprout like weeds everywhere!’ Gavin tried to filter it all out and enjoy the evening, but with them not even trying to keep it down to a whisper, that wasn’t really possible. ‘I mean look at that shit. Wine-flavoured Thirium? What the hell. As if these things would know the difference. How did they even test it? The stuff would be poisonous for humans anyway.’ Gavin stared down on his plate, only looking up to awkwardly smile at Nines, whose LED was at a steady red. He hadn’t looked their way yet, but from the corner of his eyes he saw them sitting at a table for two, much like him and Nines. This time the second person spoke up: ‘Look at the guy. Of course, he settled for a machine. With a face like that only an android could love you.’ Gavin sank further down into his seat, trying to gulp down a bit of his food, that only tasted like ashes now. Nines instead straightened his spine and fixed the pair. Two men, both human, wearing formal clothes. From facial structures alone the android detected a 73% chance they were brothers. ‘Would it be too much to ask that you keep your voice down, so we both could enjoy our meals in peace?’, he asked, keeping up the ever-polite outer shell to disguise his building rage.

Gavin was thankful to have him. Were he alone he had long taken their respective dishes and clubbed them to unconsciousness with them. And that was still well within the realm of possibilities as politeness just wouldn’t make them stop. ‘Oh, what? Did we hurt your feelings? Do you even have them?’ ‘Look at that red light. Goddamn thing needs a mood-light to emote, of course it has no feelings.’ Gavin clenched his teeth and laid down fork and knife not to attack the two with it if they only took so much as another breath his direction. ‘Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, I’m speaking to you, android-fucker. Does he do the windows-error noise when orgasm?’

‘Let’s go, Nines’, Gavin pressed through gritted teeth. ‘Detective, I don’t think that is nec-‘ ‘Nines. Let’s go.’ The android only ever called him by his title when in distress. Gavin knew they had to move now if they wanted to avoid this ending in a fight. And he wanted to avoid that, if not to stay out of a fight then to avoid the police being called and him explaining to his colleagues what had happened. ‘…Fine’, Nines nodded stiffly, standing up and putting on his jacket before walking around the table helping Gavin into his. ‘Aww, it seems they want to figure that one out right away’, one of them giggled and Gavin snapped. ‘You two are complete and utter assholes who don’t deserve my time, but I have you know that any organic you may have phcked or – if you are even capable of that – loved, won’t ever be fit to hold a candle to my partner. I surely hope you die alone in a cold, dark alleyway and that I don’t have to work on that case then. Thanks for ruining our evening.’ He had spoken in a cold, deadpan tune, while reaching over to the salt and decorating their respective meals with a generous amount of it. ‘Enjoy yours.’ With that he marched out, Nines following close.

They drove home in silence, Gavin only now calming down. He had his damn share of these people in his life already and he knew getting angry about it wouldn’t help. But he would be damned if he didn’t stand up for his partner. Nines didn’t deserve these sorts of comments. He hadn’t done anything wrong, Gavin being his first and most likely only love. Gavin would have accepted it if it was just on his person, he had phcked up numerous times already, had accepted and was happy to be alone forever until half a year ago. But not Nines. Never Nines.

He had hoped the android would have calmed down, too. But once they entered their home and Gavin had closed the door, Nines exploded. ‘Damn humans! Why would they do that? It had been a nice evening! Why would anyone have the desire to ruin someone else’s life this way? I can’t even begin to understand it. I-I-‘ Static mixed in with his voice and Gavin could only look at him in shock. ‘Gavin, I love you a lot and my feelings are real. Please believe me.’ There was a desperate, pleading look on his face he would never be able to forget, and it could as well have been a physical knife pushed into his heart and twisted around because this? This shit hurt.

‘Nines! Nines, don’t. Don’t say things like that, don’t let this get to you. Of course, you have feelings, of course you love me. I know that. I love you too. You are the best thing to ever happen to me! Please, forget their stupid comments. They mean nothing!’ ‘But they are right. I am a thing. I can’t know if flavoured thirium tastes like the real thing. Me acting like a human is just an act. I am a machine and nothing I do will ever change that.’ ‘Do you think that matters to me?’, Gavin asked, reaching out to hold Nines’ trembling hands. ‘Do you think it matters to me how human you are? Take this today as an example of how shitty humans can be. I don’t love you for your ability to taste food you can’t even eat. I love you for that weird look you gave me when we first tried flavoured thirium-drinks. That expression was priceless and you getting all excited about the different tastes and ingredients is one of my favourite memories of us.’ He moved up to cup his cheek. ‘Please. My love for you doesn’t come with any conditions. Especially not for how human you are. You have far exceeded the levels of humanity anyone of us could give.’

‘I just…’ Nines looked away, moving out of Gavin’s touch. ‘Sometimes I ask myself whether a human partner wouldn’t be better for you. I… We can’t even have sex.’ ‘Nines, just stop. Do you really think that shit is important? I like to have fun once in a while, but that doesn’t mean- Listen. No human would ever want me. And I don’t want any human. I want you. And only you.’ Gavin wanted to move in again, hold Nines and show him what he really meant for him, but the android evaded him once again, this time even moving a few steps away. ‘No. You are only saying that to make me feel better!’ He reached up to his temple, dug his fingers into the synth-skin there and before Gavin could shout at him to stop, Nines had pried off his LED, throwing it into the bin next to the door violently. ‘I- I have to go’, he muttered, static heavy in his voice and Thirium trailing down his face. In a heartbeat he had opened the door and slipped out, leaving Gavin behind.

He felt empty as he sunk to the floor against a wall. What had just happened? A few words spoken without care and taken too seriously were all it needed to blow any air right out of him. Gavin looked at the bin, remembered the exact sound the LED had made as it hit the plastic. ‘Phck’, he sighed to himself. Maybe he should have made a scene. Maybe he should have beaten the shit out of these two guys. If only his android would still be here with him then. He had become so used to Nines being around that their home now just felt empty. Lifeless even. He chuckled humourless close to tears. How phcking ironic.

He pushed himself from the ground what could be minutes or hours later and fetched the LED from the trash. He brushed over it a few times, freeing it from carrot pieces stuck to the half-evaporated Thirium on it. He took the little disk with him to the kitchen, carefully cleaning it with a sponge until he was sure there wasn’t any dirt on it. Then he changed into something comfortable and sat down on the couch so he could keep the door in view. All the time he held the LED fiercely in his grasp, holding it to his chest and kissing it gently in the futile hopes through whatever techno-magic they had built into it, Nines would be able to feel it. ‘Phck, Nines, please come home’, he pleaded through his grief-struck voice as he curled in on himself around the LED. He had cried enough so no new tears would come, and he only was immensely tired now. Darkness had settled around him as he hadn’t had the spirit to switch on any lights since they came home. It was late in the night already, maybe even very early morning, as Gavin fell asleep then and there on the couch, holding the disk close and muttering over and over: ‘Just come home. I love you.’

-

The next day he had woken up stiff, cold and alone. Oh, if that didn’t awake some unpleasant memories of the past… He had opted for a shower first, before trying to build up energy for a change into real clothes and breakfast. He succeeded in neither, spending the morning where he had spent the whole night, curled around the LED and turning it in his fingers. He had sent Nines a message on his phone, reading: I miss you babe. Please come home when you feel like it. I’m waiting for you and I’m worried. I love you. So far there hadn’t been an answer, but he was stuck on read. So at least he had seen it. He was probably fine then. At least not physically hurt. He spent all Saturday on that couch, turning on the TV in the hopes of being distracted. It didn’t work. He fell asleep to his plead to whoever was listening that Nines would come back. At least this time he had thought to get a blanket.

Sunday wasn’t better. No answer from Nines. Another text message from Gavin that he could come home whenever he was ready, that he hoped he was okay, that he missed him and loved him. Gavin felt as if he hadn’t done enough and at the same time didn’t know what else to do. Nines had told him he needed to go. And he would give him all the time he needed to think. Hell, even if he decided he didn’t want to be with him anymore… Gavin didn’t want to think about that too much as the knife in his chest reappeared every time he did, but… If Nines felt that way, Gavin would let him go. If only he knew he was happy and well then. The worry chewed away at him. He hadn’t eaten more than a piece of bread and some instant noodles the whole weekend and while he knew it wasn’t healthy, he just couldn’t get more down.

Everything in him was focussed on Monday. He would have never thought to look forward to a Monday while it was still weekend, but Nines would be at work, right? He would see him tomorrow for sure. He had to know he was alright.

It felt weird driving in his car without his partner sitting next to him. His LED was resting above the radio, Gavin’s constant companion by now. He didn’t even go to the toilet without it. He walked into the precinct like a ghost, several people even asking him if he was okay. He sat down on his chair, eyeing the desk in front of him. Shit, he had been so sure Nines would be there. Sitting there, staring at his screen. Ready to be hugged. Phck. He looked through the bullpen, his eyes locking on Connor. He had sworn to never talk to that tin-can again after that incident in the evidence room. But goddamn, this was for Nines.

‘Hey, Connor, err… Sorry to disturb, but-‘ ‘What do you want, Reed?’, the android brushed him off. ‘I was getting there, thank-‘ ‘I only tolerate you because my brother made the mistake of loving you. Now get to the point.’ Gavin swallowed. Yep, no chance in mending that shit-show. ‘Is he okay?’ That made Connor look up. ‘What? I worry about him, shit-head! Don’t look at me like that.’ ‘He is… He is getting better. He thinks about you a lot and from what he told me he misses you, too. He gave me his phone, so he wouldn’t answer.’ Gavin nodded. ‘Is he safe?’ He hated how weak he sounded, especially in front of Connor, but he just didn’t care anymore. Maybe that was what made Connor’s face soften. ‘He is. He is staying with us at the moment. Though I would advise you not to come over. He needs time.’ ‘I know. He told me and I will give him all the time he needs to figure it all out.’ He took a deep breath, but he was already so far in, what would it hurt to admit more. ‘I love him, Connor. I really do. Trust me, if I was ever true with anything in my life, it would be this. I just want him to be happy.’ ‘He loves you too. These idiots at the restaurant just struck every uncertainty he had about your… relationship. He will figure it out in time. If you believe me or not, I am on your side with this. You mean to much to him and he is too happy with you – whatever he sees in you – that I want him to come back to you, too.’ Gavin for once decided to be civil with the toaster. This really meant a lot. ‘Thank you, Connor.‘ ‘Don’t mention it.’

-

Still, Nines didn’t show up on Tuesday. Neither did he come Wednesday or Thursday. Gavin looked worse for wear every day, but no one questioned it. Maybe news had come around already. Maybe no one cared because that was “just Gavin”. But on Friday, Gavin walked into the precinct, slumped down behind his screen and mindlessly started scrolling through his emails before his brain caught up with him and he looked up. A familiar android looked back and Gavin could have cried in relief wouldn’t he be so uncertain of how things were between them. ‘H-Hey Nines’, he tried and was stupid enough to add a little wave. ‘How… How are you?’ His throat was dried up and speaking was hard.

The android stood up and came over, crouching in front of him. ‘I’m sorry, I stayed away for so long. I needed time to think’, he began and immediately Gavin was in the defensive. ‘No, that’s totally fine, really!’, he hurriedly said, to mask the fact that it had absolutely not been totally fine. He had lost a few kilos or more in that week and wondered how he could ever have functioned without the android. ‘You did mean it, right?’, Nines asked and took the man’s hand gently in his. ‘That you love me and don’t want any human? That you want me? And only me?’ ‘Yes!’, Gavin nodded quickly. ‘Yes, I meant that.’ ‘And that you don’t care about me being a machine?’ ‘Absolutely, Nines.’ ‘That’s good to hear’, the android sighed and relaxed, only to frown as he felt the LED trapped between their hands. He took it and held it up to inspect the disk. ‘Why are you constantly carrying that thing around with you?’, he asked. ‘Connor told me you had it with you the whole week.’ ‘Nines, I- I just-‘ ‘I threw it away for a reason, Gavin.’ Gavin just pulled Nines into a hug, regardless of who might be looking and how awkward it had to be. He didn’t care. He had yearned for this for a long time. ‘I don’t care, Nines. It is a part of you. Maybe you don’t like it or don’t want it, but I can’t throw away a part of you. I love you, with LED or without it. And I won’t let you throw away yourself just because some asshole talked shit about you. No one can ever change what I feel for you. And it’s good to have you back.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Gavin: Do you love me? #Nines: Yes. Do you love me? #Gavin: Yes. #Some idiot: They are not in love. #Gavin: Err yes we are~ #Nines: Shit he doesn’t love me #Gavin: No wait I do. #Nines: No you don’t. #Connor: Actually he does. #Nines: Oh okay. #YOU DUMB IDIOTS JUST HOW DENSE CAN Y- #How much drama can I condense into 4 pages? #The answer is yes. #I swear I just want my bois to be happy don’t call the police on me #I’m not going back to jail for fandom crimes I haven’t recovered since the corn cock incident

[robinrunsfiction]

Can you maybe do #46 with Ryan S. (P.S. I love your stories they’re amazing just like you)

I Got You

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: AnonWord Count: ~1,100Author’s Note: I really liked this prompt, thanks anon!

You sighed, looking up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling above. You had no intentions on ending up in the hospital today, but that’s still where you found yourself now.

“(YN)? Are you okay?” Ryan asked, rushing into the room. 

“Been better,” you sighed, shifting to sit up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking you over. You were surprised by the level of concern that was written across his face.

“I was leaving my apartment, tripped and fell down the stairs. Something in my knee popped and I got kinda banged up, but luckily one of my neighbors heard and dropped me off here.”

“And they didn’t stick around?”

“If you have somewhere you need to be Ryan, by all means, feel free to leave and I’ll call an uber or something to drive me home,” you snapped.

“No, no,” he said, putting up his hands defensively. “It’s just what kind of friend doesn’t stick around in a time like this?”

“They aren’t a friend, they’re just my neighbor. They probably felt guilty because I saw them stick their head out of their door when I made all that noise.”

“Shit (YN), that sucks. Are they gonna discharge you soon?”

“No clue. I’m kinda feeling like they forgot about me. You wanna sit down?” You asked, patting the bed. “It’s not comfy, but it’s better than that chair probably.”

“Sure,” he smiled as you slid over to the best of your ability.

“What time is it?” 

Ryan pulled out his phone. “7:30. Where’s your phone?”

“Dead. I was actually going out to my car to grab my charger when this happened. I only had like 10% battery left and I pretty much used that up to text you and scroll through insta for like 5 minutes.”

“That’s what happens when you only have one charger,” he laughed lightly. He was always reminding you to get another charger because your phone was always going dead at inopportune moments. “Oh, this video is hilarious, I was gonna send it to you anyway,” he said as he settled in next to you.

Being that close to Ryan made you really glad you weren’t hooked up to any machines that read your heart rate, or the nurses would have come running in a panic. You’d always had feelings for your friend with the dark eyes and bright smile, but you kept them in check most of the time. At the moment, you were glad you hadn’t ever confessed your feelings, as that surely would have ruined your friendship, and you weren’t sure who else you could rely on to come get you from the hospital. Maybe it was the painkillers they gave you, but you decided you were feeling bold and rested your head against Ryan’s shoulder. To your surprise and delight, he then rested his head against yours as well. You glanced up as he glanced down at you and for a second you held your breath, thinking maybe, just maybe, he was going to lean in.

“Ok (YN), here is your discharge paperwork, and information for you to follow up with your primary care physician to check on how the ligaments are healing,” the doctor said as he walked into the room, tearing both you and Ryan’s attention away from each other. “We’ll get you some crutches, is this your ride home?”

“Yea,” you said, taking the paperwork from the physician.

“Ok, well you’ll want to pull the car around up front,” he said to Ryan, “and (YN), we’ll have a nurse wheel you down.”

After the doctor left, Ryan shifted to sit up. “Alright, let’s spring you from this jail,” Ryan smiled.

“Yea, about time,” you smiled back.

~

“Oh shit,” you said as Ryan pulled up in front of your apartment building. He had been so kind as to get dinner for both of you at your favorite drive-thru restaurant. Being alone with him was enough to get out of the bad mood your accident had caused, but one big obstacle was now standing between you and finally getting home and being able to relax.

“What?”

“I forgot about the stairs,” you said, running your hands over your face.

“I got you,” he replied as he got out of the car before hurrying to your side to help you out. You made your way inside on the crutches.

“Now what?” You asked, and before you knew it, Ryan was wrapping his arm around you, practically lifting you up the stairs as you hobbled your way up.

“I told you I got you,” he said softly.

“Thanks,” you mumbled when you got to your door.

“Of course,” he said, lingering with his hands on your waist. You broke the tension by finally letting yourself in and Ryan followed with your crutches in tow. 

“What a day,” you groaned as you landed on your couch, Ryan sitting down next to you.

“Yea,” Ryan said, running his hand through his hair. “Hey (YN), can we talk about something?”

Your heart started to race again. “Umm, yea, always.”

“When I said I got you, I mean it. You can call me whenever you need to because,” he paused and looked down at his hands. “I really care about you.”

“Oh, yea. I’m sure I’ll be ok, but I might need a ride-”

“(YN), I’m trying to tell you I love you,” Ryan blurted out.

You were stunned into silence. “Oh!” You finally stammered out.

“Sorry to dump that all on you and I understand you don’t feel-”

“No! No, I feel the same way!” You said interrupting Ryan.

“Really?” His face lighting up.

“Yea,” you grinned back. “I love you too.”

Ryan leaned in, this time you were sure of it, and you leaned in too. Ryan’s lips met yours as his hand cupped your cheek. You grabbed his shirt, wanting nothing more than to be close to him like when you were in the hospital bed together. When you pulled back you were both grinning like idiots.

“For a second there I was really worried you weren’t gonna understand the feelings I was trying to confess,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak dumbass,” you retorted with a wink. 

“Real mature, (YN). You’re lucky I love you,” he laughed.

“You’re right, I am lucky,” you smiled before leaning in for another kiss.

#Anon #ryan seman x reader #ryan seaman fan fic #ryan seaman fan fiction #ryan seaman imagine #idkhow fan fic #idkhow fan fiction

[janiedean]

aaah, and I thought the throbb/theon fandom couldn’t disappoint me more than it already had

and yet.

okay, so, whatever, I’ve been made aware of a situation on twitter and honestly I’m tired, so let’s just have it out.

apologies for the long-ass post but I honestly am tired of being the uber-correct person who addresses everyone directly and properly and so on and all I get is finding out people trash talk behind your back anyway and don’t engage with me if they have a problem.

so, yesterday I’m minding my damned business, I see that @fleurdulys​ is apparently in some discussions with anti sansan people calling her names, I send her a message like ‘oh god they found you I’m so sorry’ because I have seen anti sansan takes back in the day, two people including someone that had stalked her for months start tagging me too and accusing me of the usual condoning That Horrible Problematic Ship and of being a pedo apologist blah blah blah, I block both of them, the day after another two show up in my mentions uninvited, I block both of them.

then someone who was monitoring the situation warns me that some anon is trash talking me and fleur in the curiouscat asks of some other person that I had absolutely no knowledge of until then. I went to block them, found out I had blocked them already because they were anti thr/amsay and shipped a theon show only ship I really don’t like so I went and blocked them in JULY before they changed nickname because I’m an adult and I like to think I can cut out of my life people I don’t want to risk interacting with because I know I don’t have anything to say to them. said person accused me of ‘using as a tactic calling everything calvinist’ which... well, when the problem is that antis are basically being that it’s not a tactic but whatever, I addressed it on twitter and changed my screen name as a joke because y’know what let’s embrace it, I don’t like calvinists anyway.

I go and forget about it and then the same someone monitoring the situation informs me that these lovely people had this other exchange - I’m not mentioning who it is but they’ll know and at this point I’m honestly done:

now.

sorry but what the hell.

first of all, going in order:

I blocked receiver of the CC ages ago because she ships a thing that for me is an absolute no and I have very good reasons to not like it, and I have zero interest in talking to people who ship that AND are th/ramsay antis, which is a thing that I have zero patience for whichever side of the fence you’re on - saying it as someone who doesn’t like th/ramsay but ffs I don’t agree with anti-ing stuff, if you hate it blacklist and move on with your life;

also, I wasn't lurking on her anons because I didn’t even know she was involved but someone else monitoring the situation told me I was the subject of one of them and I went and checked for myself, so like... sorry I’m not unblocking because I never searched for her, I never talked to her, I never wanted contact with her and she and the anon are there trash talking me and fleur for shipping a fictional ship so what are we even talking here;

and that’s the premise, but: I had gotten my 'bitch ass away from throbb' in 2011, the amount of fics that fandom has would Not Exist At All because *I* was the sole steady contributor (ie the only person who kept on posting it) 2011-18 (and fandom drove out the only other steady contributor in 2015-8 lmao), *I* was the one organizing most theon-based fandom events (which were opened to all ships, including the ones I hated, and if I could handle posting th/ramsay fanart/reading th/ramsay prompts/assigning them when the exchange was anonymous and I had to post all the contributions when looking at th/ramsay art made me sick back in the day I think OP can tolerate people existing and shipping stuff she don't like), *I* was the one periodically coming up with ways to make the tag less filled with hate, *I* called out every single anti shaming anyone for their ships - from thramsay to theonsa because there were theonsa antis back in S5 but she wouldn't know I suppose -, so like she can pay me the favor to not even going there because if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have throbb fic to read *period* (not to brag but check, before I started spamming the tag and helped bringing in people along with someone else who's not in fandom anymore there were literally six), so how about she check what are her contributions to the fandom (less than mine probably) other than creating drama? thanks.

also ‘theon and robb would beat pedos up’ please check your facts, theon/jeynep is going to most likely be canon and she’s like thirteen and he’s twenty-two, which is a nine year age gap, which is not even that far from sansan. also your favorite theon ship has an eight years age gap in the books too so just stop. you ain’t coherent. at least be coherent. but you can’t, because every single asoiaf ship is problematic for some reason. ;)

and that was it for OP.

now, for the anon, who honestly... the entitlement, I swear to god, but in order: if you’re that pressed because I haven’t written throbb in months also thanks to people like you you could have like, come and talked to me on tumblr because regardless from what you assume I don’t bite. also I see that you’re a throbb shipper and you’re calling me THROBB CONTENT GENERATOR?

CONTENT GENERATOR?

ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF IT?

I’M A HUMAN BEING, I’M NOT YOUR DAMNED CONTENT GENERATOR.

I DON’T GENERATE CONTENT FOR YOUR SATISFACTION, I WRITE FIC FOR SHIPS I LIKE. throbb is my otp (still, even if y’all really are trying to drive me out lol) and I wrote novels of it for years for free because I love it, BUT NOT BECAUSE I’M YOUR DAMNED CONTENT GENERATOR. 

content generator.

I’m just. actually you know what, if I write throbb again after this, you can be 100% sure there’s gonna be full-on blown canon sansan in it for a very long time and I’m absolutely not going to make it avoidable if you don’t scroll half of the fic. also ‘I could ask her to write it but she’d put sansan in it so I won’t’ who the hell do you think you are?

who the hell do you think you are?

I take prompts when I can because I want to and because once in a while I enjoy the idea of writing stuff for people because other than being something I love, I like the idea that I can make someone’s day nicer by filling them a prompt if they like my writing, I don’t do that just because you ask.

what the hell? so you’d ask and me, a poor idiot, not knowing it was you, would put it on a to-write list of prompts that’s like ten pages of notebook long because that’s how long my goddamned list is, while you’re here laughing that someone whose writing you like but whose personality you obviously despise has written you your favorite ship for free not knowing that it’s for someone that doesn’t like her all that much?

jesus christ.

like, I thought this fandom couldn’t get lower than the let’s plagiarize fics deal last july, but this is honestly rich.

and then you wonder why whenever I think about finishing sfbd or writing a ship that used to make me happy to write now I go like ‘f* this noise why should I bother I’m writing any other damned pairing instead’.

and I have to read this shit from someone who, when I blocked them the moment I got the fandom twitter account, who I never searched for, who I never talked to and who is friends with people who happily accuse others of being pedo apologists because they ship sansan which is, oh, wait, an almost-canon ship with canon text supporting it and that grrm himself certainly doesn’t hate and has admitted to have been leading up to, and now wants me to unblock her to talk??? when their friends showed up in my mentions absolutely uninvited because I sent support to someone who was arguing with them because we both ship sansan and I’ve done it for longer so I know how’s the deal?

and from some kind of anon who sure as hell reads my fics enough that they know I’m still the most prolific throbb contributor to the tag even if I haven’t written throbb in a year and some who calls me content generator and not even contributor as if I was some kind of juke box machine where you put in prompts and get out 5k minimum fics for free? and who still would like to read them enough to throw that shade but has no issues trashing me because I’m pointing out that antis think exactly like 17th century calvinists, which is a thing that can 100% be proved the moment you look up how the aforementioned calvinists thought?

like, I’d like to kindly tell the both of them to find a hobby that’s not trying to fele better harassing people they don’t know for fictional ships and remind everyone on here (because I’m sure anon is on tumblr as it’s where I hang out most of the time anyway) including the few anons who have asked me if I’d consider writing throbb again in the last months and who asked me if I’d run theonexchange again at some point that fic writers are human beings, not jukeboxes, and that being assholes has, as a usual consequence, driving the content creators out. I’m not a content generator, I’m not here to get laughed at because I fill prompts and I generally like to put content in the tags and not drama and because I think that being a fandom contributor should mean spreading positivity instead of shaming people for what they ship.

anyway: as a conclusion to this rant, I’m definitely not writing throbb that doesn’t have sansan in it anytime soon and if I run theonexchange again at some point (which I would like to but with these premises you’ll see that finding the force of will when I have a life is kind of a problem) if I find out that OP or any of her friends want to participate they’re kindly welcomed not to because I’m banning them on sight.

wow, get my bitch ass away from a fandom I kind of helped make and contributed 10% of the ao3 content to.

congrats, you just made sure I really won’t when I was taking a break but I was planning to come back at some point even if right now it’s quite tempting.

thanks for reading this if you got to this point and sorry for the rant but I’m tired.

I’m really tired.

also I’ve always said I shipped sansan from the moment I was in this fandom, I tag it also for blacklisting purposes and I don’t even put it as a side in fics that much because it doesn’t come up, so if anyone is so disgusted by it they’re welcome to learn to coexist with people who ship stuff they don’t like.

again: I’m really tired.

#throbb #theon greyjoy #oh wow that's always nice to find out from people who technically ship what I like! #also i mean you'd think i'm idk some kinda snobbish asshole who doesn't reply to every single ask she gets #and who hasn't filled prompts here since 2011 without expecting really anything but whatever #and who hasn't like talked to people if they had issues #except that i did all of that #and finding out this crap is like disheartening #like wow then you wonder why i don't feel it anymore #as if i didn't spend years trying to make sure the theon fandom wasn't a continuous hatred shitfest #as if i didn't call people out for anti-ing any ship bc it was already not many of us #i just wanted people to get along and create stuff instead of eating each other up #even ship i personally didn't like or that ACTUALLY MADE ME SICK #i'm tired #i'm really tired #sorry for the word-vomit but some of you really need to learn some manners #obviously your parents didn't teach you #and it shows #thank you i'm done

[inventors-fair]

Combat Commentary

Thank you all for your entries! Here is commentary for all the entries that weren’t winners or runners-up. I hope that this format, along with the gallery, allows for people to get everything they can out of the Fair.

@ace-hobo — All for One // One for All

This was a clever use of the split-card naming convention, and I liked this card in general. There’s an amount of math to do that can make combat difficult, and if this card isn’t uncommon it probably should be. It’s hard to make it out with that symbol. Regardless, a fine card, costed effectively, a good split. Some people might be pedantic about the name; I think it’s nice.

@competitive-casual-magic — Oil and Fire

Now this is a cool card. Wrecking Ball, but shock, but deathtouch, but not. What an interesting idea. I like the fact that it deals two damage to any target, not just a creature. Giving it flash is very cool. I imagined a lot of scenarios in which this card could blow out someone during combat and make for some complex scenarios. I don’t think this should be rare, personally, but maybe it’s complex enough. In something like Modern Horizons, it would be uncommon. For standard, hm... I’m on the fence about that.

@dabudder — Adrenaline Sliver

This card irks me, not because you did anything mechanically wrong or because it’s not a great idea, but because it gives slivers a boost based on the number of slivers you control rather than +3/+2. Part of the flavor of bloodrush was the fact that it based it on the creatures P/T and abilities. The dissonance in this specific card is frustrating. Still, forget that. I love the concept. I do enjoy this card. Don’t forget in future iterations to capitalize all instances of the word “Sliver.”

@dancepatternalpha — One Last Fight

Follower really liked this card. I liked it as a combo piece. Flavorfully, it’s pretty neat and I like the effort that you put into the flavor text. It’s very difficult for a new player to understand exactly what use this card does without understanding how combat works, but that’s what makes it a good uncommon. I imagined pairing this with Spikeshot Elder and having fun there, heh. 

@fivetrillionelves — Conquer Fear

Interesting card, pretty strong trick! I like the way it makes one of White’s weaknesses, its small creatures, a lot better. Flavor text does need that end quote. Not a whole lot to say about this card. It gets the job done. Might be hard to understand in multiples on the same creature, though.

@fractured-infinity — Unstoppable Curiosity

I am not a fan of this card, clever as it is. I don’t like buffing an opponent’s creature just for minor card advantage. If this was “Whenever a creature deals combat damage to you this turn, draw a card” or some effect where you could utilize the weakness without making yourself weaker, I feel like this card could be cool. As-is, I’d never use this card on an opponent’s creature. On my own, it’s not bad. “Trample” doesn’t need to be capitalized. Also, I JUST got the flavor text. It’s a touch unclear.

@ghost3141596535 — Bullshift

He, nice name. I can see that you intended this for Ikoria, and I like that aspect of it. Thank you for marking the rarity. Don’t forget your periods. As someone who hasn’t played with mutate, I can’t really say how strong this card is in practicality. It’s odd that it allows for mutate in creatures without mutate. I don’t know how that works within the rules.

@guardgomabroa — Sudden Desertion

I really like the flavor of destroying an army (which should be capitalized) but I feel that that’s too narrow to really have a strong reason to exist. It’s a cute card that’s using Magic naming conventions for flavor reasons rather than the game itself. Maybe that’s enough. I’m a little more of a stickler. It’s kinda cute, though, and I’m a fan of white removing things from combat, too. Maybe in WAR it could have been played. 

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Desperate Effort

I don’t believe “sacrificing” a “target” blocks well. The fact that it makes this card need two targets is confusing. Why not just “As an additional cost” the sacrifice? What’s the point of doing a creature that your team controls? Why only an unblocked creature? Why does it give the +X/+Y effect instead of a simpler +X/+X effect? I think that this card has too many moving parts and could have been simplified significantly while keeping the same strong flavor.

@machine-elf-paladin — Hunger of the Grave

This card was a contender for runners-up. It also could have used flavor text. It’s a great addition to Zombie tribal, great with graveyard strategies, well-worded and powerful with the lifelink. Not much to critique here. Good job.

@mardu-lesbian — Phantasmal Fallacy

I like what you did with the name. I think that this is a powerful cantrip that’s playing with some design space. “Planeswalker” becomes a 4/4? That’s a control card for sure. I’ll smack you in the face with a Mind Sculptor. The cantrip might be too powerful, as four power is pretty strong as-is, but I think this card is basically fine and pretty fun.

@misterstingyjack — Quickdraw

Interesting card. I like the magically influenced gunslinging flavor and what can be done with other equipment in this set. The fact that this can essentially be a five-mana do-nothing spell without so much as a cantrip is frustrating. This card should be, I feel, three mana at most. Might require playtesting, but still. Definitely not five.

@nikkatsu-dnd-mtg — Trade-Off

Firstly, this card’s name doesn’t stand on its own without flavor text to back up whatever’s happening, and the fact that there’s no flavor text is a major blow. I’m not sure why it’s an Arcane spell, and I’m definitely not sure why this is common. This card is a blowout and a half. Getting tokens is worth it, and swinging with a team of 6/6s minimum is insane. It’s a one-mana go-wide spell that should cost at least five mana and be at least uncommon. I know you thought that static abilities was a good enough loss, but I assure you: it is not.

@nine-effing-hells — Bardic Performance

I’m on the fence about this card, even though it’s probably good. You took the fairly complex addition of sagas and made it a simple and fun buff in the vein of Travel Preparations. I think this card is a fine uncommon, probably. There’s a tiny bit of disconnect between bard things and counters like that, but the flavor can be bent, and I can just suck it up. This card is good.

@piecesofliquid — Instinct of Greed

Concept is good. There are three specific things I would do to improve this card. One: Change the name to “Greedy Instinct.” No real reason, I just like it. Two: Most importantly, I would change the “exile” to “sacrifice” and take out “you control.” Sacrificing is only something you can do anyway, and it would work better with other red strategies. Three: The flavor text needs to be in quotes. Other than that? Again: good.

@real-aspen-hours — Sudden saplings

Yeah, as you said in Discord, this card is basically Blinding Fog. Instead, let’s talk about improvements for future submissions! Firstly, the card name should be capitalized; I copied it exactly as you submitted it. Secondly, you didn’t include a rarity, which is something you need to consider. Thirdly, if the flavor text is a quote, which it appears to be, it needs to be in quotation marks. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. Card’s fine for a functional reprint, lol. I like how you changed it to “by creatures” for a more Fog-gy effect. Why ALL creatures?

@shandylamb — Knowledge Breeds Strength

Strict +X/+X effects are not in Blue’s slice of the color pie. This is a green card through and through. I think the flavor text could have been a little more creative. The idea, however, is sound. This card would have been fine twenty years ago, probably. I don’t mean to sound snarky with that; it’s simply something old Blue could have done that isn’t done anymore. 

@snugz — Necromantic Ninjutsu

I am of the opinion that this card should be rare. I am also of the opinion that if this card was rare it would have won above and beyond. What a fantastically creative card. Follower loved it, as did I. For a standard set, though, rareify that baby. Great great great job.

@starch255 — Invisible Wall

Wow, this card is... Not Fun At Uncommon In Limited. The idea is sound and I would love playing this card, but it’s just too much! The hexproof, nuts. The nigh-infinite life, crazy. What a frustrating card to play against. If this was FOUR mana, I might consider it. However, I do like how trample effs this card over. Regardless of that, though, I’m not a big fan, no matter how much if a fan I am. If that makes any sense.

@teaxch​ — Serene Crane Maneuver

Interesting! I think this is one that needs the two targets, unfortunately, but I can imagine how this would work in limited. I would probably only sideboard this card if I felt really really clever, but I like it for flavor reasons and mechanical reasons. Again, I just wouldn’t...play it, necessarily. Maybe I would, but it would take the right environment. This is a volatile card.

@theobligatorysql​ — Combat Trick

This card absolutely needs to be an uncommon and absolutely needs a better name/flavor combo. Now, I do like it mechanically, and it’s pretty cool, but I’m not a fan of the fact that this is a meta-card. In a vacuum, I freakin’ love it. I feel that this card would go well in something like a Custom Cube.

@tmstage​ — One-Two Punch

Very cool. Aethertouch is one of those things that you’re introducing that I would have to see played out before I pass judgement on it. As of right now, I think that this card could have been a cantrip or something. “Non-lethal damage” — hm. Not sure how I feel about that, though. But I assume also that blue is what makes this card Jeskai. Personally, for three colors, I’d like to see something simpler and/or more streamlines. New concepts are scawwy, o noes!... In all seriousness, keep Aethertouch for future designs.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path​ — Meat Shield

“Target creature GAINS indestructible until end of turn.” It’s an actual ability now, remember? Aside from that, this card is...fine for one mana. It’s not perfect, it’s kinda clunky, but it seems like something WotC would print so you have that going for you. I like the simplicity of the flavor text.

~ 

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #contest #commentary #combat trick #inventor's fair

[eldritchsurveys]

782.

Have you ever had a computer virus before? >> Nope, never. I don’t know if I’m just especially lucky or what, but I have zero experience with malware, viruses, or any of that.

Are you dependent upon anyone? >> Of course. Everyone’s dependent on someone, even if only indirectly.

Are there any book characters you'd like to portray? >> Like, as an actor in a movie adaptation or something? No, thanks.

Who did you last text? >> I sent Sparrow a bitmoji in response to her text.

Is there anything on your bed right now? >> Yeah, me. Also, an assortment of plushies, two weighted blankets, a hoodie, my phone, and my headphones.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? >> It’s been a couple of weeks since I personally went. I stopped doing the grocery runs because of the mask rule; Sparrow is way better with wearing masks than I am. What way would you like to die when it's your time? >> As uneventfully as possible, please.

What are you most afraid of in the world? >> Some possible aspects of death. Also, confinement of any kind, like incarceration or being put in a mental hospital.

Have you ever been caving? >> Nope.

Do you do well in math related things? >> I don’t know, I don’t usually do any math-related things aside from the most basic kind.

What is your favorite fruit? >> I don’t have one.

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? >> ---

Do you have any tattoos? >> Yes.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? >> No.

When was your last date? >> ---

When did you get Facebook? >> I don’t remember when I first signed up for it. Probably like 10 years ago or thereabouts.

Are any of your family members in jail? >> ---

What was your first pet's name? >> Roxie.

Are you good when it comes to computer issues? >> I don’t think my skill level at dealing with computer issues is particularly high. I basically just google the problems I don’t immediately know how to solve and try out different solutions, which literally anyone is capable of doing. I think what I’m good at is not having computer issues in the first place, considering every machine I’ve had has performed remarkably well over a pretty decent lifespan (except for Normandy, which just randomly died one day, but I think that was a heat issue and I’ve learned from it).

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? >> ---

What was the last book you read? >> The last book I finished is The Poisonwood Bible.

Have you ever read any books in one day? >> Sure.

What was the last thing you bought? >> A nightstand.

What are your plans for tomorrow? >> I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? >> Yeah, I never take out my earrings or nose ring.

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? >> No.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? >> I like a variety of colours for different reasons.

Have you ever taken art classes? >> Only in grade school and probably junior high.

What's the most boring movie you've ever seen? >> I have no idea.

Do you know how to work a cash register? >> I mean, I could figure it out.

Fact or fiction novels? >> A novel is fiction, period. But if you mean whether I prefer historical and realistic fiction, or fantastic fiction... well, usually the latter.

Have you ever suffered from depression? >> Yes.

Do you think you're a clingy person? >> No, because I’m not.

Do you enjoy kisses on the cheek? >> Not particularly.

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? >> Yes, quite a few times.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? >> ---

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? >> Black.

Do you have a job? If so, do you like it? >> ---

Have you ever been called a slut before? >> Maybe.

What's something you've been craving? >> I’m not really craving anything that I’ve noticed.

Have you ever slept with your window open? >> I sleep with my window open for almost the entire year, actually. Even in winter I have it cracked at night, because I get really hot in my sleep.

Can you play violin? >> No.

What was the last desert you had? >> I don’t remember the last time I had a dessert.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? >> No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won't talk to in person? >> No.

What color are your mother's eyes? >> ---

Do you have a best friend? If so, how long have you been best friends? >> I do not.

Do you cry easily? >> I mean, I don’t think so.

Have you ever been into a court room? >> Yes.

How many necklaces would you say you own? >> I own five necklaces. Soon to be six, when it gets here.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? >> ---

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? >> Nope.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? >> I have a particular affection towards Wednesday, but I don’t really have a favourite day of the week.

Do you ever wear lipstick? >> Ever, sure. But not usually.

Do you own a pool? >> No.

Do you have a Tumblr account? >> What’s a tumblr

Would you say you're overweight? >> I wouldn’t.

How many colors are in your hair? >> Well, two that I can see.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? >> I don’t flirt with anyone.

How many bank accounts do you have? >> One.

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? >> Probably.

How old are you? >> 32.

Do you attend church regularly? >> I don’t.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? >> No song can describe my whole life, but there are songs that fit uncannily with certain aspects of my life.

What time did you wake up this morning? >> 7 or so.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? >> I don’t plan for that, I just wake up whenever I feel like it.

What kind of car do you drive? >> I don’t.

What kind of car would you like to have? >> ---

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what's your favorite thing to eat from there? >> Yeah, I’ve been there, but I don’t have a favourite thing from there. I don’t care for their stuff.

How old did you turn on your last birthday? >> 32...? This is basically just the same question as before, innit.

Ever felt like falling apart? >> Yes.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? >> Yeah.

Do you tend to worry a lot? >> No.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? >> I have no idea.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? >> I only vaguely remember it.

Which website do you email from? >> Gmail.

Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? >> I don’t really receive souvenirs. Which is perfectly fine.

Do you get angry with people easily? >> No.

Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? >> I don’t know if a lot of people dislike me, it’s not like people are often up-front about that sort of thing. I don’t dislike too many people.

Have you ever had the flu? >> No.

What about strep throat? >> No.

What would you say is the worst kind of emotional pain? >> I wouldn’t say, because it makes no sense to me to “rate” pain like that.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? >> Yeah.

What's the worst part about school? >> You know, the whole thing.

Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you're still in school? >> ---

When was your last vacation? >> January.

Would you ever consider going on a cruise? >> I’d consider it.

What did you last buy from the store? >> I haven’t been inside a store in a few weeks.

Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? >> I wouldn’t say, because that’s not really how it works.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? >> No.

What's your favorite quote? >> I don’t know, man.

Do you lie a lot? >> I rarely lie.

Do you still act childish most of the time? >> No.

Did you ever enjoy gym class? >> The only time I enjoyed it were the semesters I got to take archery.

What is your biggest insecurity? >> I have no idea.

Have you ever painted a room alone? >> No.

Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? >> I didn’t?

What does your favorite jacket / hoodie look like? >> The hoodie I wear the most (aside from the one I just wear around the house) is a New Orleans Museum of Death hoodie.

What's for dinner tonight? >> I don’t know.

Do you ever drink alcohol? >> Yes.

Have you ever had a terrible hangover? >> No.

Do you ever get migraines? >> No.

Do you know how to garden? >> I mean, I generally know how to put seeds in the ground and water them. The specific mechanics of growing specific things are not necessarily known to me, but that’s what the internet is for.

What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? >> Probably my computer charger.

Do people consider you to be a funny person? >> I don’t know, do they?

Do you have any bad habits? >> Of course I do.

Do you like children? If not, why is this? >> I like them fine. At the very least, I respect them as people, even if I can’t stand to be around them for [usually] sensory reasons.

What is your favorite snack? >> I don’t know, I have a few go-tos.

Do you own any gaming systems? >> We have several.

How old were your parents when they had you? >> My father was 52 and my mother was in her early or mid 20s.

Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? >> ---

Do you trashtalk people a lot? >> No.

What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? >> Just... memes. I like memes. Also animals being derpy.

Does the future excite you or scare you? >> It has little to no effect on me, I don’t properly conceptualise the future as a thing.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? >> No.

Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? >> ---

How often do you shower? >> Every couple of days.

What would you say is your favorite genre of music? >> I wouldn’t say. I like a lot of genres.

Do you need to clean your bedroom? >> Yeah. I’m going to finally do it when the new nightstand gets here, so probably Wednesday.

What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? >> You know. Living.

Do you enjoy Chinese food? >> Occasionally. Most of the time I merely tolerate it.

Do you smile a lot? >> I don’t know, what’s a lot?

What is your favorite movie from the nineties? >> Maybe Event Horizon.

Which decade were you born in? >> The eighties.

Are you good at giving advice to people? >> I don’t know, I don’t usually do it.

How many huge secrets do you have? >> Zero.

How many people know these secrets? >> ---

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? >> Once, if that.

Do you ever floss? >> No, it feels horrible.

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? >> Yes.

Ever considered suicide? If so, did you try to commit suicide? >> Yes and yes.

Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? >> No, I usually do that on my own.

Do you like texting or calling people more? >> I only text.

What's your favorite band? >> Zeal & Ardor is one.

Do you have a lot of friends? >> No.

Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? >> I don’t know, maybe when I was young.

Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? >> Right now, I’d kill to eat somewhere that wasn’t my apartment.

When did you last babysit, if ever? >> ---

Do you have any younger siblings? >> No.

Have you ever thought of someone as useless? >> Not that I can recall. It feels weird to think of people in terms of what “use” they can be to oneself.

Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? >> Yeah, and then I did it.

Do you drink vitamin water? >> Nope. Do they even still sell that? I haven’t seen it in a while.

Do you ever straighten your hair? >> No.

What's the best way to end a conversation? >> I would assume that depends on the nature of the conversation and the depth of the relationship between the participants.

Are there any old movies you absolutely love? >> Of course.

Have you ever had a Big Mac before? >> Yes.

Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? >> The reasonable rate for me is zero, so yeah, I think so.

Where is your favorite place to travel? >> Oh, you know. Almost anywhere.

What is your goal for the next few months? >> I have no goal. Except, I guess, maintaining equilibrium.

Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? >> Yeah.

Do you own a lot of shoes? >> Nope, I own two pairs (and two pairs of weather boots).

What is your favorite season and why? >> Spring. It just is, man.

Does photography interest you at all? >> Not really. I like looking at photographs other people have taken, though.

Have you ever played on a sports team before? If you have, what was that sport and when? >> When I was in school. I tried field hockey and predictably sucked total ass at it. (I say “predictably” in hindsight. I had no concept of my abilities and disabilities back then.)

Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? >> No.

Do you think you're a good singer? >> I think I can hold a tune, but if I was going to be good I would need to practice more and probably get a coach. Fortunately, being “good” at singing isn’t a priority of mine, so I’m perfectly happy just being able to hold a tune.

Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? >> Sweatpants, absolutely.

Do you think you have a good sense of style? >> It’s good for me.

Do you enjoy reading often? >> Yes.

Have you ever had a deadly illness? >> No.

Ever had food-poisoning before? >> Yes.

Where did you last eat dinner at? >> On the couch, watching Sparrow play Persona 5.

Have you ever shot a gun before? >> No.

#surveys #survey #random survey #this one has 150+ questions so be forewarned lol

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 6x12 Doublemeat Palace

aka (too) real life horror (comedy)

Welcome to this dailyish (weekly? bi-weekly?) text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s hot take is that Doublemeat Palace is actually fun? Let’s talk about it.

One of the many things that I love about Buffy, is that when you ask people to pick a favorite or least favorite of the show, whether it’s an episode, season or character, the answers you’ll get will vary a lot. Well, alright, there’s usually a general consensus, and yes, Once More, With Feeling is most people’s favorite episode; but ask someone to pick their favorite season, and their answer may surprise you.

This variety is probably most apparent when it comes to generally disliked Buffy episodes. No matter how hated it may seem, how its rating is by any metrics, there is no Buffy episode without its fans. And those can come with or without the guilty pleasure label.

I’ve already planted my flag by episodes like I Robot, You Jane and Beer Bad. I especially got a lot out of the latter, not even gonna lie. Meanwhile I was genuinely surprised to find that some people really like Go Fish, an episode that’s about at the bottom of the barrel on my own list. But isn’t that kind of fascinating? Someone looked at the same episode I did, and got something completely different out of it. And we could probably see and understand each other’s points of view on it as well if we got right down to it. What a concept.

I know, I know, art is up for interpretation, shocking revelation made by Tumblr user ettadunham, and I am so not here to get into a rant about that right now. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to fire up that discussion later on, especially as my original intention here was just to lay back and appreciate the delicious weirdness of Doublemeat Palace.

Rolling back to that earlier point, this is for a lot of people is exactly that type of bottom of the barrel episode we mentioned before. Which means that it’s already had that underdog status going for it, as I sat down for my rewatch.

Well, actually, when I sat down I didn’t really remember that I was about to watch Doublemeat Palace, because somehow I’ve yet to memorize the complete Buffy episode list. Not gonna lie, I was mostly just expecting a general downer. Something focusing on Buffy and Willow’s misery with minimal Scoobies interactions, and so I was already thinking of how to compare that with season 5… But then the episode started with a scene between Xander, Anya and Willow discussing the Trio and the capitalist values of demons vs. supervillains, and I was already delighted.

And it only gets weirder from there. Buffy’s new job at the local fast food restaurant is presented as a horror story, and sure, there is eventually murder and monsters involved, but my favorite thing about that is that most of the horror comes from the actual life scenario itself. I’ve never worked at a fast food place, but the high turnover rate, the menial job, the manager who is trying to sell you on the company lines and brainwash you to believe that you actually want to work there 5 years from now… That stuff should be familiar for anyone ever working at a low-end corporate job.

I just love how the directing heightens that effect, as the camera tilts and focuses on the machines and the repetition, and the people spacing out. It’s a bit of quasi-horror comedy that also comes from the absurdity of life itself.

Buffy’s weird co-workers for instance? They all have their own distinct characters and I actually find them completely believable. If I was the guy who worked by that grill machine, and at some point had to go to the doctor to remove the grease from my ears, I’d probably think that that was a fun work story to tell too.

Buffy having at least five theories about what’s the “secret ingredient” in the burger - one of them being cats I guess – is also just the kind of morbid humor I’d expect in a place like that.

I guess if you go into this episode for the first time, you could get lost in the red herring of it all, or just wait for the demon reveal to explain the extremely high turnover. But for me, I found that the most enjoyable experience was to focus less on the literal meaning of Spike’s “this place will kill you”, and more on just how depressing the meat grind of corporate culture can be, especially for those at the bottom of its food chain.

Haha, see what I did there. Although as we learn from the plot twist, Doublemeat Palace was actually selling Impossible Whoppers before it was cool rather than an actual meat product. The real hipster of fast food chains.

I also just want to appreciate Buffy’s Captain America-like shirt (but with a heart!!) after she’s fired, and is about to start a corporate revolt. Bless her heart.

By the end of the episode of course, Buffy gets her job back and decides to stay on. Because money. Now there’s some real horror for you.

In other news, Amy has truly established herself as Willow’s Ethan-like foil for the series. She has all the angst, the grudge and chaotic energy for it for sure. It’s honestly a bit of a bummer that she didn’t get a lot more to do on the show from this point on. (I think she’s in the comics though? Again, it’s been a long time…)

Willow’s last words to her though. “If you’re really my friend, you better stay away from me. And if you really aren’t… you better stay away from me.” The change in her tone of voice by that last part! I’m scared and this isn’t even Murder Willow. Yet.

I also feel like pointing out that the whole eyes going dark phenomenon came up before in season 5 when she went after Glory and the whole magic trip she went on in Wrecked… But also in 6x04, when she and Tara were doing a spell to help Buffy fight some interdimensional ghost demon. At some point, Willow let go of Tara’s hand, her eyes went black, and she just said “solid”.

And the spell suddenly worked.

Based on that, and also some season 7 context, the whole black eyes thing seems to indicate whenever Willow is tapping into some greater, more volatile power. Or – especially in this case, where magic was clearly transferred to her – something that is outside of herself. More on that in season 7 probably.

Meanwhile Halfrek responded to Anya’s wedding invite in an insanely memorable scene of the show, and is now that friend who’s only relationship advice is “dump him”. Not that I can blame her per se...

Xander is clearly not over his own fears, and visibly reacts when Willow makes a comment about his impending happily ever after with Anya. Halfrek passive aggressively pointing out to Anya Xander’s attitude towards her feels a bit petty, but there’s truth to that as well. Anya may be weird, but some of Xander’s comments actually question whether or not he even likes her as a person.

That being said, that isn’t always the case. Xander is extremely sweet with Anya, including all her quirks throughout most of their relationship in season 5, I think. I would need to go back to those episodes to confirm this, but my running theory is that Xander’s fears regarding their upcoming wedding might have caused him to regress a bit in that regard. And as we know, Xander being the emotional one of their group tends to fail at introspection when it comes to his feelings.

Again, I’m not quite confident in that assessment of regression, so take that with a grain of salt. I would really need to rewatch season 5 again and keep more of an eye on their relationship, so this is mostly just a hunch for now.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, Dawn ends up being my lowkey MVP for the episode. She shows a lot of understanding towards her sister, as she laments that Buffy will probably be stuck in minimal-wage jobs for most of her life, because of her Slayer and other responsibilities. Meanwhile Dawn has much more freedom to choose – and that’s largely due to Buffy’s own personal sacrifices.

I feel like this is probably also the first instance we see Dawn truly interacting with Willow post-Wrecked, and it’s her walking up to Willow, asking her if she’s okay. Dawn Summers is precious, and good, and you can’t change my mind.

Now, who’s ready to get really fucking genuinely disturbed with our next episode?

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

[hollyhomburg]

Without You (I Can’t Breath) (Reader x Hoseok)

Hoseok thinks that home is a place you can plot on a map. But he realizes that living by himself is lonely. he gets a new place and puts out an ad for a roommate- What he doesn't expect is you- someone who has no knowledge of BTS- and he’ll do anything to keep it that way. 

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader 

tags: Domestic love, lonely!Hoseok, roommates for lovers aU, secrets, mild angst, sooooo much fluff, literally I gagged while writing this several times. implied smut. Hurt/Comfort

A/N: I wrote this instead of studying, I hope you're happy because I'm probably going to fail because of this fucking au love me

Wordcount: 3.4k

-Hoseok and the rest of Bangtan finally decide to get their own places- and its one of the conditions of the renewal of their contract because a few of the guys have significant others now. 

- He passes up an opportunity to get a three bedroom with Tae and Jungkook, and decides to live by himself like Yoongi.

- At first he decides to get a big old nice apartment on the top of a sky scrapper. 

- Its modern and lit up, and everything he ever dreamed of having when he was a trainee. 

- But it gets really lonely really quick.

- It starts to feel like a cage in the sky- while everyone comes home to something- all he has is his view of the city and floor to ceiling windows that will never open. 

- He’s gone for ages- he can’t even fill it with greenery let alone have a pet.

- His penthouse doesn’t really feel like a home- after half a year he gives up one it. 

- He caves and asks Yoongi if he would like a roommate 

- “Hell no- we finally get to have quiet to our selves dude- enjoy it before you meet someone and decide to have a family.” 

- So he decides to move into this quiet space- but in a busier more grungy part of town. 

- A two bedroom above a coffee shop with a wrap around balcony that’s a little ways away from Bighit. 

- In a town where there are mostly bars and restaurants- the other apartments on the street catering to families or people that can barely make rent. 

- He loves it more than his penthouse- how he can sit out on his street faceting balcony and people watch until he feels like sleeping. 

- It always smells like baked goods from the café below, 

- The little bathroom leaves a lot to be desired and theirs a stain on the ceiling from water damage but he loves it. 

- It’s still too lonely though. The foot traffic only lasts till 1- which is nothing when he doesn’t get home until 12; 30 even on his less busy days. And he still doesn’t feel like he’s home. 

- After a drunken night and a little convincing from Seokjin he puts an advertisement in the local paper for his spare room. 

- He’s almost forgotten about it when he gets an email a few weeks later. 

- And he meets you in the café downstairs. A sweet student a few years younger than him looking to get their first place away from their parents. 

- He was worried that you would recognize him- that you could be a fan or at least know his face- but when he takes off his facemask in a moment of boldness he doesn’t get any reaction. 

- And he realizes that shit he’s lucked out- because you definably don’t know who he is- or who bts are. 

- You take a peek at his apartment after a nice conversation and almost swoon- because how the fuck is the rent so low when that place is so nice- and hella cute. 

- He watches as you compliment the bathroom and the crown molding- which he hadn’t even noticed. And he realizes how disconnected he’s gotten from the general public. 

- You don’t think much of Hoseok at first- maybe that he’s a little cagey and more than a little secretive- he wears facemasks everywhere and you hardly ever see him take it off if he’s not at home.

- His sudden hair color changes perplex you the most.

- At first you guys have such opposite schedules that you hardly ever feel like you’re living with anyone.

- Then Hoseok gets home at 3am to find you dancing in a extra large nightshirt and eating a tub of ice cream with the music blasting and he joins in- turning the music up ( the song was “fuck it” by big bang).

- It doesn’t matter that you can’t dance for shit- that you’re literally soo terrible- you dance with more energy and passion than half the idols he’s met. 

- Breathlessly you comment on his dancing skills and he just smiles and say’s “yeah I dance a little on the side.” 

- You never really ask him what he does- you just assume that it pays well after his entire closet is overflowing with Gucci and designer clothes. 

- Which you totally steal out of the clean laundry.

- Queue some small domestic spats about him turning one of your white sweaters pink with a Gucci sweater right before you wanted to wear it. 

- Which result in him letting you wear the offending Gucci sweater. 

- Which you don’t give back until a month later when he goes too your room and demands it back. 

- Your midnight dance party’s become more frequent- and when it finally gets a little warmer you guys take to drinking out on the balcony and watching the cars drive by and the glowing turquoise neon lights of Omelas pub across the street. 

- You talk about everything and anything

- Sometime you’ll walk out a 4 am and find something keeping him up- or he finds you working on an assignment. 

- And you’ll go downstairs to the café or across town to your favorite dinner to cheer him up with comfort food. 

- After a while Hoseok starts to realize that this is the first normal friendship that he’s had in a long long time. 

- Sure the boys are great but there are no expectations between you two- it’s just effortless. Your budding friendship only building when the both of you have time. 

- He doesn’t have to wear a mask with you- at all. In fact- it almost seems like you can tell when he’s hiding something. Which is something that only the boys can do.  

- And he’s not sure he would have this easy relationship with you if you knew he was an idol- so he does his best to keep it from you.  

- He wants too keep the little slice of normalcy he has in his little apartment above the café.

- The two of you Lying on the ground in front of fans with you when the air-conditioning breaks on the hottest day of the summer.

- Going on runs together in the morning on his day’s off. 

- Coming home to find that you made too much dinner. and him trying some to find out that “shit you're a good cook.”

 - shy smiles and thankyou’s over communally consumed cups of coffee on Sunday's 

- Dance parties.

-  Finding your colorful socks left in the washing machine. 

- One day he comes back midday to find you just home from a run- and you’re making food while bopping to some music in a sports bra and a pair of shorts that look suspiciously like his.

- And he freezes when he starts to hear you rap part of cypher pt 4. 

- His part. 

- He yanks out your headphones when your eyes rise to meet his and he can’t tell if the feeling in his stomach is apprehension, fear, or longing to have all of it out in the open. 

- “I didn’t know you liked rap music,” he says mildly, trying to keep his tone casual. You just shrug and keep cutting up vegetables.

- “I just found this song on iTunes and it’s totally my new work out jam- Wanna stick around for lunch? I’m making veggie stir-fry.” He snags a carrot off of your cutting board. 

- “Can’t I’ve gotta get back.” You just shrug and put your headphones back in. 

- He confesses to the boys that you still don’t know who he is and they’re all kind of shook.  

- Half of them think he should tell you- after all you’ve found they’re music so you’re bound to get curious about them enough too look up their faces one day.  

- But Hoseok just can’t- he can’t help but think the knowledge that he’s an idol will change everything for your relationship. 

- And besides- he’s starting to get a twinge in his heart whenever he looks your way. And he knows what it means- even if he’s too stubborn and busy to confront it yet. 

- Surprisingly Jungkook understands- and advises him too keep it a secret. 

- So he does.  But it gets harder day-by-day. 

- He goes away for a short tour- and just tells you that he has to go away for a business trip.

- He gives you his number so that you can stay in contact about the apartment (in case there’s a problem or something breaks while he’s away for the month) 

- But he’s not surprised that you guys just end up texting each other every day

- You mention that you have a really big exam and that you’ll be up late that night and he calls the café downstairs and begs them to deliver- after all he has a tab racked up anyway there. 

- And you open the door too one of the cooks giving you a late and something sweet with a heart drawn on the back and just an “good luck –H”

- And you can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

- And you realize that you’ve begun to really miss him when he’s away- and you realize that all the little gestures he makes for you. 

- When he comes back you cook together for a week- because he finally has time off and you have the final push before finals.

- You guys do everything together for that week. You watch TV. go too a few museums together, take walks at night when insomnia has both of you restless

- And yes- you have your famous dance parties (that have become almost routine at this point.)

- You even cuddle up on the couch together after a movie marathon. And Hoseok almost looses it when you fall asleep on his shoulder. His hands shake as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

- He never wants this too end. This quiet peace he has with you. 

- With you, he can take off his mask. 

- He’s always careful not too sing in the shower anymore- after all these months you still don’t know he’s an idol. 

- And he’s even more worried that you’ll find out one day. 

- You decorate the apartment for Christmas. With garlands, lights, and a tree in the corner by the water stain. He has a big-hit Christmas dinner to go too Christmas eve- but when he comes home he finds you watching a Christmas special on the TV. 

- You smile and open up your fluffy blanket for him and he sinks into the couch next too you- taking off his tie as you ask about his day. 

- Your legs are warm and bare next too his silk dress pants. 

- You hand him a little gift- wrapped in gold wrapping paper. 

- “Just a little something for being a good roommate, and giving me cheap rent.” 

- It’s a little bracelet with the Hangeul for hope attached too it. Small and silver.  

- His heart stutters- and you take his silence to be something bad. 

- “You’re always talking about hope- I just-“ “I love it.” 

- He looks up at you- realizing how close your faces are. He takes your hand in his. 

- “Thank you y/n- it’s perfect.” You just smile up at him.

- “I got you something too.” Really he’s had it for ages- since he first started to feel love sting in his chest and tug on the strings of his heart. 

- He comes back too the room too the announcer blaring into your living room – “up next a pre-recorded performance of Bangtan Sonyondan! Performing their new Christmas song!” 

- and he freezes because how the fuck could he forget. It had only been a few days ago that they had finished recording the special Christmas episode. 

- He thinks fast- jumping on the couch “your Christmas present is tickling!” and he tickles you until you can’t breathe around your laughter. 

- He barely manages to switch the channel before the commercial ends- turning it too a Christmas movie (love actually) that coincidentally he knows you love.  

- Your laugh fills his apartment as you cry. “No fair! I was watching that!” 

-  But you forget about it when he finally presents you with your gift. You open it slowly.  

- It’s a Gucci sweater- your favorite one that you always steal from Hoseok’s closet only this one is brand new tag still on it- the price scribbled out. 

- It’s easily the priciest gift you’ve ever received. 

- “Hoseok… this must have been so expensive” and you’re right- the sweater was several hundred dollars more expensive then one months rent. 

- Hoseok just shrugs and teases “now you wont have to steal them from me anymore.” And you pull him down into a bone-crushing hug.

- And maybe its wrong- maybe it’s horrible for him too feel something for you when you’re his roommate. 

-  Maybe it’s horrible of him to feel his heart beat faster when he’s been lying to you. 

- Maybe its because its Christmas Eve and he has no one but you. 

- He lies there for a moment. Him on top of you his head pressed into your shoulder.

- The length of his body pressed against yours- happy for another person’s warmth on this cold night. 

- He falls asleep for a little while- comforted by you, and wakes up to the luxurious feeling of your fingers rubbing down his spine underneath the covers.  

- Cuddles become more of a regular thing for the two of you even after this as the winter slowly shifts to spring. 

- He can tell when you’ve had a bad day- he’ll just pull you down, and you’ll do the same for him. 

- Your first kiss happens a few weeks after that- when you’re both cooking a communal dinner and he you just look so cute when you laugh after he accidentally flips some chicken from a pan onto the floor. 

- And he accidentally acts on his hidden feelings, pressing a kiss too the corner of your mouth so quickly. 

- You’re a little stunned but then you kiss him back. 

- If it seems at all possible you guys become even more effortless after that- pressing kisses too his lips when he leaves and the opposite. 

- It becomes natural for you too sleep in his bed. 

- But you don’t realize how serious you’ve both gotten until one month you go to pay rent and he just waves his hand saying- “don’t worry about it.”

-  You still both haven’t had that talk yet.

- You know the one where you define your relationship- this domestic love that is slow and lovely and so hopeful. 

-  You still haven’t told him how you really feel- and though he’s made his feeling clear too 

- You’re certain he wouldn’t put up with how needy you are sometimes if he didn’t want you around at least a little bit. 

- It still bothers you that you can’t call yourself his girlfriend yet. 

- But things pick up before you can talk about it- he goes on tour again- and he feels even more horrible for lying to you day by day. 

- And your finals hit- and everything goes perfectly until you get one of your grades back and you failed- like flat out failed the class- you find out at the worst time. 

- Hoseok isn’t here and as far as you know he wont be back until next week.  

- You’re crying in the kitchen eating ice-cream when he walks in his suitcase dragging behind him- tired from his 15 hours of plane flights. 

- At this point you’re basically balling about everything- you’re just so overwhelmed. 

- “Y/n’ he calls quietly. And you turned shocked. Trying to wipe away your tears before he sees.

- But he does see, and he wipes away your tears before begging you to tell him what’s wrong and you tell him about your exam and he listens too you through all of it wiping away your tears with his thumb. 

- When you’re done he just pulls you too your feet and takes your hand in his. 

- And leads you too the center of your kitchen- taking you in his arms.

- A hand rubbing the small of your back while taking your other hand in his large hands. 

- He slow dances with you- at 3 am in his kitchen. 

- There’s no music like usual- Nothing but his quiet humming. 

- You lean your head against his chest. 

- And you hear him humming a song you recognize- it’s a song by bts, 

- Which is surprising too you- because he’s only ever told you that he doesn’t really listen to them

- When it gets to your favorite part you stop moving.

- Because his humming- the pitch of it. 

- How his vocal cords wrap around the tune- sounds exactly like the voice that you hear out of your headphones. 

- You look up at him and he stops humming. 

- “Hoseok are you-?” you just trail off- when you realize that you’ve never asked him what he does. 

- He can see you slowly putting it together- his busy schedule- his cagey personality- his obvious wealth. 

- “Please I can explain if you let me, y/n just- please don’t freak out.” He pleads.

- And he sits you down before trying to explain everything too you. 

- You sit quietly listening too his story. 

- He looks at you with baited breath when he’s finished waiting for your response. “Please I never wanted to lie too you- but after I while I just got so scared that you would leave or move out-“

- You start laughing - and it’s a little funny the impossibility of this situation.

- The guy that millions of girls probably lust after just ends up being your roommate because you answered a misspelled add in the newspaper. (he was drunk- so you don’t blame him that much).

-  After you tell him why you’re laughing his faces looses his worried expression.  

- “How could you ever think that I wouldn’t want to stay- Hoseok I admire everything that you do- you work so hard and I’m just- I’m astounded I didn’t realize sooner.” 

-“So you’re not mad?’ you just grin at him and shrug “Maybe a little? Maybe I could see you perform and meet the other members as an apology.” 

- He introduces you as his girlfriend too the boys- and you love all of them and they all love you.

- By the end of it he can’t imagine why he was so worried about it in the first place because you’re such a natural at this. 

- Bighit talks too the both of you about keeping your relationship a secret- but it doesn’t seem too be much of a problem. 

- Life continues as usual- only Hoseok has someone to come home too and love him and it’s more than he ever hoped for in his life. 

- Dance parties start to end with your hips pinned against the kitchen counter and his hungry lips against your neck. 

- Shared Showers after dance practice turn into tender lovemaking. 

- Study sessions turn sultry when he pulled you on to his lap. “Come on you know it’s more comfortable.” 

- Everything is absolutely perfect. 

- You graduate from college. And Hoseok takes you to your first BTS concert. And when he gets off stage you’re just there beaming at him. 

- When he looks at you he realize. 

- Home was never an apartment above a coffee shop. 

- Home was you all along.

Bonus – during the performance you totally shout, “that’s my man!” when he does a hip roll you’ve seen him do a dozen times in your kitchen.

#j-hope #jung hoseok x reader #bts scenarios #bts reactions #jung hoseok #hoseok #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts roomates to lovers au #bts au #bts roomate au #roomate au #secret idol #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bts hurt x comfort #bts domestic fluff #domestic fluff #smut #angst #hurt/comfort #bts hurt/comfort #omelas au #bts bangtan #bangtan sonyeondork #what is that tag #DORK

[wayhaughterthanyou]

1-120, dare you

3 Fears- That my computer will crash at question 119, spiders, and planes

3 things I love- Wynonna Earp, writing, and video games

2 turns on- Hmm when someone runs their hands through my hair or shows me any kind of affection at all

2 turns off- Flat-earthers and people who refuse to interact with anything other than my genitals during sex

My best friend- My brother

Sexual orientation- Queer trans man

How tall am I- 5′7″

What do I miss right now- Sleep

Favourite color- PURPLE

Do I have a crush- I do..kind of

Favourite place- My bedroom

What am I listening to right now- My brother play fortnite- but the last song I was listening to was I wanna get better by Bleachers

Shoe size- 9

Eye color- Brown

Hair color- Brown

Meaning behind my URL- I think it’s pretty obvious

Favourite song- Morning in America- Jon Bellion

Favourite band- I really really don’t have one, I listen to such a wide range of music that it’s obnoxious and really hard to pick one

How I feel right now- Tired as fuck

Someone I love- MY CAT

My current relationship status- Single as can be my dude

My relationship with my parents- Stressful

Favourite season- Winter

Tattoos and piercing i have- I have a quill pen tattoo down my left forearm and a septum peircing

Tattoos and piercing i want- So so many tattoos, too many to list on this already long ask. As for piercings idk. I’m good for now but I might drill more holes into my body someday

The reasons I joined Tumblr- I was really into the disney memes

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Lucky to say that I do

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?- It was my dad so…technically yes, yes I have

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- It takes 3 seconds to get dressed and an hour and a half to be prepared to see another human being

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope

Where am I right now? I’m at home

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? I’m surprised I can still hear

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do

Am I excited for anything? NYC PRIDE 2018!!!

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yup

How often do I wear a fake smile? Honey I worked in food service for 5 years, fake is the only smile I know

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Melanie Scrofano

What do I think about most? Wearp

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind for sure, but I’m working on it!

What was the last lie I told? I told my dad I ate lunch

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chat. Phone calls frighten me

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes.

Do I believe in magic? IN A YOUNG GIRLS HEART HOW THE MUSIC CAN FREE HER WHENEVER IT STARTS

Do I believe in luck? Yes I have tons of bad luck so there has to be some good luck making someone else happy out there somewhere

What’s the weather like right now? It was pouring and freezing earlier and now it’s super hot I hate spring

What was the last book I’ve read? I recently reread To Kill A Mockingbird

Do I have any nicknames? Seattle

Do I spend money or save it? I try to save it and then I pay rent and then I pay bills and then I don’t have moneys and then I’m sad

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? I literally can’t even reach my septum ring lmao

Favourite animal? Orcas

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? I knocked the fuck out at like 10

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Wildwood by Fleurie

What is my favorite word? Sacapuntas

My top 5 blogs on tumblr? @a-maelstrom @weirdofreakish @wayhaughtship @oliviajoytaylor @earpdearp

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Have you tried taking Bikini Bottom and pushing it over there?

Do I have any relatives in jail? I had a cousin in for check fraud a couple years ago but I didn’t know her so all I used it for was threatening my bullies

What is my current desktop picture?- It’s a wearp season 2 cast photo

Had sex? I’ve done the sex

Bought condoms? Hell no you can get those for free I’m a baller on a budget 

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah I don’t mean to brag but she was hella wet

Had job? Several

Smoked weed? I’m high rn so

Smoked cigarettes? I used to when I was in middle school and then I had a crush on this girl who didn’t like them so I stopped and I should really thank her

Drank alcohol? Yup, illegally though because i live in a country where you can go to war before you can drink

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I’ve tried but I have bad enough eating habits already and it made me eat oatmeal all day cause I’m too lazy to do anything right

Been overweight? I was overweight by a lot about 6 months ago

Been underweight? I’m currently underweight

Gotten my heart broken? Yes

Been to prom? Hell yeah! I took my manager from work and we slow danced to Beautiful by James Blunt

Been in airplane? UNfortunately

Learned another language? I took AP spanish for 7 years

Wore make up? Yup

Dyed my hair? So many times

Had a surgery? Tonsils only

Met someone famous? I’ve met a bunch of bands over the years at Warped Tour

Stalked someone on a social network? Of course

Been fishing? Yup! It’s a right of passage when you grow up on an island

Been rejected by a crush? Of course

What do I want for birthday? I want to give myself this present and I want to have at least posted my first video to my youtube channel

Do I like my handwriting? I love it

Where do I want to live when older? Canada

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No my parents are dumb

What I’m really bad at? Playing instruments

What my greatest achievments are- I finally looked at my tumblr theme after like 4 years of not knowing what it looks like and its actually not that bad

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me- Lmao I can’t think of anything that could be on that level right now but the other day my mother looked me in the eyes and goes “You know your life sucks right?”

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Damn I’d but a new computer immediately and then move across the world

What do I like about myself- My jawline

My closest Tumblr friend- @a-maelstrom

Any question you’d like? My favorite school house rock song is the Preamble song

Are you outgoing or shy? I’m not shy I just generally don’t like talking to other humans

What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind ones

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Maybe? If I’ve learned anything from life it’s that you really never know but I DAMN HOPE

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? It depends on who it’s with but most of the time no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My friend Shaf

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “No, we’re good.”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Icon- Jaden Smith, Bottom of the deep blue sea- Missio, Let you go- Machine gun kelly, little sister- trixie mattel, and In the middle- dodie

Do you like it when people play with your hair? 10/10 would die for that shit

Do you think there is life on other planets? Definitely

Do you like bubble baths? I do but I’m too large for my tub and it’s very sad

Do you like your neighbors? I don’t think I have ever said a single word to a single one of them

Where would you like to travel? San Fransisco

Favorite part of your daily routine? Playing video games

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Every single one of my bits

What do you do when you wake up? Wish I was back asleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker, I’m pale as fuck

Do you ever want to get married? If I find the right person

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? A tiny one on top of my head

Would you rather live without TV or music? I’d rather die thanks

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Of course

What are your favorite stores to shop in? Amazon

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I guess it depends but mostly yeah

Do you smile at strangers? HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I mispelled my name on twitter and was too lazy to change it but today a guy called me out so I changed it and acted like I didn’t because I’ll do what I want sir

Ever wished you were someone else? I used to a lot

Favourite makeup brand? I know nothing about make up

Last thing you ate? Mac and cheese

Ever won a competition? For what? Soccer

Ever been in love? Yes

Facebook or Twitter? Twitter and if you’d like to follow me my name is AmongSeattle

Okay that took a lot longer than I had anticipated but I had a lot of fun. Thank you so much for taking the time to test how much my computer can take before it gives in. Join me next time when I’ll probably be answering 500 questions and encoding my social security into the text :*

#my asks #among seattle

[makingoutinyour30s]

the quest for our co-captain

Dear A-

So here’s your DD4 post-dinner update. Because we went to a very warm, very cozy dinner last night. 

Let me first say that through dinner I couldn’t feel it. I swooned. I smiled. I craved a hand across the table. But I could feel that he wasn’t where it ends. Or even ends for now. There were a few moments during dinner last night where I reflected back on our first two dates. They were magic, they really were. I remember a moment at the bar on first date where we shared a common detail, he gave me this enormous grin, and looked at the ceiling and shouted, “I want to know more!” Or that moment on our second date where we hopped into the light structure in the artist loft, proclaiming it a time machine, and shut our eyes together with our faces inches from each other. Fun things like that are still happening, but they just don’t feel the same. Things feel less light. Less generous. Less adventurous. Not to say that things don’t shift the more time you spend with someone. But it’s almost like I can see a darker cloud where before there was nothing but light. 

So dinner. We spend most of dinner just chatting. Nothing too serious. But sort of talking about life, Thanksgiving, future plans. I waited until closer to the end of the meal to bring up a redo of Friday’s conversation because 1) I didn’t think it was going to be too long, 2) I didn’t want to put a weird tone on the evening if it didn’t go well, and 3) I knew that we could switch venues or stay for another drink if we want to continue it. It was a good decision. I said, “I think we should continue our conversation from Friday because it was confusing.”  He said, “What was confusing about it.” 

Oh come on. 

I told him it was still unclear to me what he wanted. And he asked me what I wanted. Which, looking back, seems stupid because he had a clear answer for himself. I told him that I enjoy spending time with him, it feels good to be around him, and I’d like to get to know him better. He echoed the same things. Said I was “really great” and that I “have a lot of opinions he likes”. And then explained what I think was a general lack of interest in a relationship. Now, I’m perfectly comfortable assuming this is some sort of line. Or something. I still find the last two weeks of this thing confusing. The request to see me more, the weird times spent on couches, the Getting Naked together last weekend. He said he’s been trying to figure some things out in the last few weeks - what he wants out of life (does he want to get married? to have kids?), work (does he want to stay at his job? sell his company?), and various other things (does he believe in god?). 

But. While he’s telling me this, I started to feel some old twinges. And then some things about myself. 

He’s been talking about his work a lot lately. And I get that this is a thing a lot of adults talk about because it consumes us in a lot of ways. But I definitely don’t care that much, if I’m being honest. A, you and I are two people who really love our work, but I think when we talk about it, it’s much more in the abstract sense. It’s about things we care about: social issues, research findings, etc. Not the logistics of being researchers or the day-to-day grind of it all. If I’m talking with someone about their work, I want to talk about their passions and disappointments in all of it. Not the gritty details. Or at least, I don’t want that to be the major focus of their conversations. But also, in general, I don't want to talk so much about someone’s job. 

But he’s also started to feel a little aimless to me. It’s fine to be confused in life. I am definitely at a place of restructuring and figuring out what this new life looks like for me. But I think I know the general direction into which I’m walking. But his feels like an aimlessness akin to OH’s. Not quite so all-encompassing, but similar. My brain has been harping and harping on his use of the word “restless” last week. And I thought a lot about what that means to me. Right now it means something different than it would have a year ago. Because right now I have a desire to steady myself a bit more than I have before, because I know I need a different and better foundation on which to move forward. Whereas before it was a constant poking and prodding of the foundation I had built, and was building, with OH. Almost like removing the blocks from a Jenga tower. Can we pull this one out? Nudge it a little? Without the whole thing falling over? 

DD4 can have a lot of fun. I know I reflected here on his joy a lot. And that was such a great alternative to OH, who was always so full of sturm and drang (yeah, I’m using that). And he talked a bit about how he’s the person his married friends call when they need someone to hang out with, because he’s fun and free. And I recognize that in myself now. And it’s a great place to be. It’s a place that gets you invited out for impromptu lunches, concerts, trips, whatever. I’ve had such great experiences in the last few months since becoming that person in my own social circle. But I also know, for me, that’s not enough for a life. I don’t want to just be an accessory to other people’s lives. And also: I love creating adventure. I don’t like to just wait for it to find me. And when I think about what I know of DD4′s social life, he seems often like an accessory for other people. Myself included. I think, perhaps, he has become accustomed to being this person for other people. I don’t think he has honed the ability to be the one creating surprises and adventures. And that is a thing I want. A few weeks ago Tall Boo and I had dinner and he was reminding me that I get to expect a partner to create events for me, as well, when I was spending much cognitive energy attempting to plan a great date. And yes, I know this. But sometimes I also think I am a great arranger, but not a great in-the-moment-er. And I thought this was perhaps a great way DD4 and I complimented each other. But now I’m a little like, “But what are your ideas? Where are the places you’re looking for amazing things?” If you value restlessness, DD4, what are you doing to challenge complacency? Take charge, my friend! Be hungry!

Here is also what I’m thinking about myself: I know I still have a lot to learn about this new version of life. So I will tentatively put this out there, with the understanding that I will maybe/probably change my mind as I make my way further into this world. I think I just work so much better with a co-captain. My parents raised me to be on a team. My parents are the best team I know. And as children we spent much of our free time working together on the farm, dad teaching me how to change the brakes in my car, building a dock for the lake, pruning trees, sanding, sawing, whatever. And my dad is one of the best, most patient teachers I’ve ever met. 

During dinner I told DD4 the above, after he asked what I had planned for a visit from my parents this weekend. And he sort of responded with, “That’s great. We never did anything like that in my family”. In your last post, A, you mentioned that DD4 hadn’t done a lot to make cognitive space for me. And something about this conversation was representative of that. These are the things about which I would have so many questions for a partner. This is what makes a person interesting and are the foundational things that shape a person. 

It might seem counterintuitive right now to believe that I might work better with another person, but I just think that’s the truth. I enjoy putting energy into other people. And I am having a difficult time these days figuring out where to direct it. I have been cooking a lot for friends. Making bread for the professor I teach with when she has a difficult week. Spending all day making broth for a sick friend. Snapping pictures of construction equipment for friends’ kids. Watching people’s kids so they can go out. Life feels richer to me with another person. Fuck, even in the last week of my marriage, roaming around Paris with an always-drunk partner I had many moments of, “I’m so glad we’re here together”. And I can look back and still see the honesty in that.

You and I have been getting weirdly into astrology lately. It’s nice to have thoughtful things to interpret and reflect on. And a line in this week’s has felt important to me: Find ways to hold your energy until the right moment. When the container is solid and ready, pour yourself in.

At the end of our recap conversation I asked where we go from here. And it sounds like he’s into continuing to hang out. Though, I’m assuming, probably not as much as we have been. I also assume these hangouts will continue to be largely curated by yours truly. If we place DD4 into the friend category I’m O.K. with this. If he’s my friend, and not a boyfriend, I’m O.K. ringing him up whenever I need a pal for a movie, an art show, trivia, etc. And I do believe we honestly enjoy doing these things with each other. Last night I texted my west coast BFF (we need a good code name for her, she shares the same initial) and gave her the update. She asked if I was O.K. being friends with DD4. And yes, I totally am. I did not fall in love with this dude. Or rather, what ringing sensation I had in my chest initially I can feel has faded. He is not the person who will run across streets holding hands with me. Yes, I will probably continue giggling like an adolescent when I’m with him. And he’ll be able to make me smile in a way that only a totally charming and handsome dude can. But there’s not enough underneath for me to dig in. 

Oh! Yes. Digging in.  I’m sorry, this is getting long and very scattered.

I didn’t sleep well last night. My brain was working a lot, thinking on all of this. I kept having this visual while I was coming in and out of sleep. In a similar way that I was thinking a lot about restlessness/complacency over the last week, my brain kept thinking about the words “Digging in”. And I kept picturing, bear with me, two people trying to eat a massive cake together. Like, the kind that is multi-tiered and very wide. But rather than using forks, it was fistfuls. I don’t want to eat my cake alone, A. We all have our own big questions we’re trying to figure out. And I stewed over walking up to this cake and thinking, “Well shit. I don’t know how I can eat this whole thing”. And if you sat alone and ate the giant cake it would be weird, right? You’d just be a person trying to eat a giant cake. But in my mind, with my imagining of Team S co-captain status, it’s two people encountering the cake, laughing hysterically together and saying, “Well, there’s nothing to do but try!” and digging in with bare hands. Eating until we’re sick. Pausing to talk about the absurdity and re-strategizing. And afterward telling people, “Did we ever tell you about that time we ate the giant cake?!”

There’s a lot of people helping me take bites of the cake right now. And that’s so awesome. And I’m so lucky. Last night when I was texting with West Coast BFF (Let’s just go ahead and call her WCBFF) she asked if I wanted to take a break from dating. I told her no, that this made me realize that I want a buddy, in some capacity. And she said, “Well then we are doing this thing over then!” And that “we” was so clutch. It was such a gift and a blessing. We will all work on this cake together right now. Because there will be more in the future to be eaten.

And then, to be honest, I am glad that it doesn’t seem DD4 has to go anywhere. I am perfectly comfortable texting him in a few weeks whenever I want a good meal and a laugh. And I am perfectly comfortable Doing the Grown Folk (as a former colleague called it) sometimes, if he’s up for it. I’m a grown-ass lady, after all. 

xo, S. 

#DD4

[northwest-cryptid]

Get to know me tag thing that I’ve not gotten a tag for in a real long time so I’ve sorta forgot how they work but I’m just gonna wing it and hope it’s okay in the end. I have been tagged by @kaiachu to do the “get to know me tag” thing, I normally don’t get tagged for this sort of thing so I’m happy to give it a shot :D (Thanks by the way!) 

This got way longer than I thought it’d be so, here’s a read more for the people who follow me and don’t have any kind of xkit thing to blacklist “#long post”

1ST RULE: tag 10 people you want to get to know better (I’m horrible with that sort of thing so I probably won’t have 10 people but I’ll try to at least tag some people in this (and yet I’ll fail, trust me.))

2ND RULE: bold the statements that are true (Personally this format sorta confuses me so I’m just going off what was already listed and just gonna swap out details to be facts about me hope that’s alright, rules are weird, I’m not really a rebel but sometimes it’s easier to make your own rules :P)

APPEARANCE: -I’m nearly 6 foot but I genuinely forget the exact, though I know I’m rounding up so that’s a thing. -I have black hair and brown eyes -My hair doesn’t know what it wants to do, some days it’s super curly other days it’s straighter than the most cliche straight white boy. -I’m tall and skinny which is honestly a little annoying -I’m not super pale but I’m what I’d call “white” if my Native American heritage and culture didn’t make me salty about everyone calling me white :P -Imagine Akira from Persona 5, except I can’t summon demons and also I’m not anime, and also I’m not as attractive as him, and also I remember to turn off the light when I go to sleep (there’s a joke for anyone out there who’s played Persona 5 and got annoyed when Akira continuously left the damn lights on every night, no wonder he needs glasses!) Basically I’ve got that same general tall skinny guy build with curly poofy hair and right now it’s actually pretty short so I could actually style it like that if I wanted.

PERSONALITY: -I’m an unintentionally sassy/sarcastic friend if you know me well enough to know I’m joking. -I am always up to help someone however I can, be that listening to their problems or taking direct action to help solve said problems. Though I dislike the idea of being the therapist friend who is only ever spoken to when someone has a problem. -I have more social anxiety in casual settings, however during important/formal social events I find that I already know my role and I’m relatively calm so I’d not say I’m anxious in every social situation. I just need to know my role. -I really try to be a chill person, however I feel like a lot of our culture says “chill” and means “has no opinions on anything and won’t take a stand against something they don’t believe in.” I say that mostly because I find that people will often talk about how chill I am right up until something strikes a nerve with me and I stand up for my morals or beliefs and suddenly it’s “wow you’re so dramatic!” For the record no I’m not talking about the MANY times I’ve actually been way too god damn dramatic (believe me I’m all too aware of those times). -I love all animals, I’ve volunteered at cat shelters quite a lot in my early life because we had a no-kill shelter near my house that needed someone to work with the unadoptable cats. However I’ve been part of a family who has rescued anything from squirrels to snakes to bearded dragons to dogs, to one legged parrots, at one point we had a tarantula and weirdly enough I wasn’t quite as scared of it as I am with most spiders... still didn’t want it anywhere near me. However yeah in general I’ve helped treat tons of animals in my life and I’ve learned to appreciate them all.

ABILITY: -I’d say I can’t draw to save my life but Bob Ross basically dedicated his life to explaining that anyone can make art so yea I’ll respect that. I’m not exactly good at it though. -I’m reasonably athletic but it depends on the activity. I’m a fine sprinter but a bad jogger, I’m good at fencing, I can bike for quite a while, I work out fairly often when I get the chance and according to the numbers the machines give me I’m healthily athletic? I’m not some sports person though. -I personally hate sleeping, it feels like a waste of my time. -I love to play/write music. Music is such a beautiful form of art that can make people feel so many different emotions. Music means a lot to me and I love to sit down and play an instrument with friends or write a new song.

HOBBIES: -I play a LOT of games, anything from video games to tabletop D&D to dice games and casino style gambling games with friends :P -I tend to draw, write, or make music for fun whenever I have an artistic itch to scratch. -I previously mentioned that I work out, I don’t say that to brag or anything I just genuinely find it fun to run around a gym listening to motivational music and having an outlet for all my energy. -It may sound silly but a legitimate hobby of mine is to listen to music, I will sometimes just sit down and put on music I like, this is often something I’ll do at night, I like to just sit down with some tea and relax with good music. -I also enjoy driving, mostly night driving but I’m not going to be picky. Getting lost out in the middle of nowhere and admiring the scenery around me is always really fun, it’s part of why I love night-driving I really enjoy getting away from the light pollution and looking up at the stars. I drive a convertible so it makes it really easy to see everything around me while I drive, but it’s sort of a death trap if I get in an accident so I tend to take in the sights when I’m at a stop and not in the middle of a drive :P

EXPERIENCES: I’m prefixing this with the fact my life is boring and the more interesting experiences of my life are things I don’t much care to just share with the internet -I’ve flown out to New York numerous times to visit my ex (who I was dating at the time) and that was always fun, it was always weirdly freeing to know that I had saved the money and independently flown myself out there. -I once stabbed my foot with my own pocket knife by somehow flipping it open as it fell off my desk it hit a vein in my foot and I was squirting blood down the hallways at like 2 AM. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as you’d think but it wasn’t fun to say the least. -Meryl and I used to often go night driving and actually managed to get out of the car and go hiking a few times at like 2 - 3 AM it was fun, except one time we managed to get a flat tire out in Washington and didn’t have a spare tire so it was exciting to find a way of getting home at midnight when we were a whole state away. 

RELATIONSHIPS: -I’m not gonna list my previous relationships or anything I don’t really feel like that’s respectful to the people I was in the relationships with, even if they weren’t all the best people (though most of them were/are fine people) I don’t want to disrespect other people’s privacy. -However I will say that I’m currently single as fuck. 

MY LIFE: -My life has been sorta interesting lately. -I’ve recently really connected with my local friends, I’m part of a D&D group which helped me make a new friend, and an old childhood friend of mine recently texted me saying he lives in the area and wants to hang out sometime. I love all my friends, and I care so much about my internet friends don’t get me wrong but it is also nice to be able to get out of the house and hang with a friend every now and then. -My family is pretty small, I’ve got 1 older brother (I know I have some siblings from my dad’s previous wife but outside of my half brother I sadly don’t know them well). -I live in Oregon but I can be found driving throughout the west coast at night, you’ll know if you find me because I’m the asshole in the red convertible playing music at like 3 AM but really quietly because I want to respect people who might be sleeping but also just loud enough that you can kinda hear it in the distance because it’s a fucking convertible and road noise makes it hard to hear... oh and also I’ll have the top down even if it’s like 10 degrees out because I like the cold and I’m probably wearing like literally a tank-top and leather jacket to balance the temperature. -I’ve literally had over 50 animals in this house at the same time. Currently however we have 1 Rhea, we just got another few chickens I think we have 3 - 4 now? We have 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 ball python, and... I think that’s it right now?

RANDOM SHIT: -I’m currently 22 -I love talking to people but I’m bad at starting conversations... -I’ve currently been playing Warframe, Guild Wars 2, FFXIV, and PSO2, though to be honest I’ll play just about anything if a friend asks me to :P -Personal favorite food is Cheesecake unless you don’t count that, then it’s Pad Thai, then Sushi, then Shrimp in general. -In person I can hold a conversation for hours, on the internet I’m awful at it. -I often feel like I’m overbearing to new friends because I am easily excited at the concept of making new friends. -I will start writing 20 D&D campaigns knowing full well I’ll never actually get to DM them for anyone, it’s a weird obsession I have with the concept of storytelling through experiences.

I mentioned this at the start, I’m bad at tagging people so the only thing I can really say here is that if you’re someone who (like myself) likes listing off random stuff about yourself, feel free to take it upon yourself and consider yourself tagged. If you’re not the type to be comfortable with this sorta thing that’s cool too, no pressure. If you DO write up one of these after seeing mine, feel free to tag me in the post so I know :P